The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #406 Nikki Presents At The Creative Emmys, Jo Koy's Mistake & Hot People

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

Julie, Nikki's mom, stops by for a hang. Brian will be opening for Nikki in Ft. Pierce, Florida, on 1/19, and he's bringing his mom and all of her friends to the show. When Nikki's phone died, she binged on food to calm her nervous system. While getting ready to present at the 2024 Creative Emmy Awards, she got a spray tan unlike any she had ever gotten before. Brian wonders why the need to tell hot people they are hot exists. Nikki has a lot of questions for Jo Koy about his hosting of the 2024 Golden Globes. They discuss Los Angeles audiences at comedy shows, bombing, Nikki's presentation at the Creative Emmy Awards, and the infamous NFL joke that elicited a reaction from Taylor Swift. In the Final Thought, Noa's announcement mysteriously gets cut short. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to it.

It's the first podcast of the week for us. My mom is here. Hello, everyone. Back by popular demand. Whatever. People like it. I'm sure. Yeah.

Thank you. I gotta say, I wouldn't want to hear someone, if I was like a fan of someone's, I wouldn't want to hear their mom on the podcast, unless they were the same around their mom as they are not around their right that's like you think they're gonna be kind of like um just they're i just don't like when people change and i definitely am different around you i can be like a worse version of myself because i could be mean because i revert back to being a bratty teenager but i don't think i'm different in this terms of like what I share. No, I think you're very loving lately. Lately?

Yeah. Okay. Letting it go, you guys. I'm reading the book, Letting Go. Oh, is that part of it? Yeah. Well, you know, you're not going to be around forever.

What's the point of being a meme? Thank you for knowing that. Yeah. Or like being a brat. Exactly. There's just no point. Just load it on. Let it go. Load it on. Load it off. No, load a brat. Exactly. There's just no point. Just load it on. Let it go.

Load it on. Load it off. No, load it on the kindness. Oh, the kindness. Like load it on to you. Yeah. Okay. All right.

I love it. I could tell you the same. Gimme gimme. I'm giving it. I'm going to give it. Brian Frangie's here. Hey, Brian. I'm not related to anybody here.

Load it on, Brian. Brian, we're going to see your family, though. I invited Brian to come open for me in Florida next week. Oh, wow. We're doing Fort Pierce and Daytona. Oh, so fun. And next weekend, so if you're around. But Brian was like, these are the most advantageous dates you could ask me to do because my mother lives in Fort Pierce.

Oh, my God. I've never even heard of that place. No offense to anyone. She lives next to Fort Pierce in Port St. Lucie, which is like five minutes from there, but it's very close to her house. Which is where Andrew's parents live. Well, it's so weird.

I only get podcasts because of Andrew's parents. She wanted to go live near Andrew's parents. Who wouldn't? Honestly. But no, she already... I still don't even know where any of those places are.

It's an hour or so or an hour and a half north of Miami. It's on the Atlantic coast of Florida in the middle of several major cities. But it's become an retirement hotspot. There's quite a lot of boomers that live there in certain communities. It's where Mar-a-Lago is. It's around where there is.

Oh, that's right. Andrew's dad got married at Mar-a-Lago. Oh, God, I forgot that. Yeah. Isn't that weird? That is such weird

trivia. I know. It's important, though. It's important to know. But my mom is super excited. She is so proud of me.

And she has she already has 14 friends coming. Yeah. You know I can comp you a great deal of tickets. I don't have a ton of family and friends in Fort Pierce

and I get several comps. Your mom doesn't need to. If they can afford tickets, okay, buy them. But if they're like, if anyone's pinching pennies at all. Retired on fixed income? Yeah. Do not.

I don't want them to pay to see me. I can't have that. So there's social security check. And that doesn't go for everyone listening. But it's just if, you know,

there's certain, listen, if you're really hard up and you have no money and like, you'd love to see me, if you write me on Instagram, you know, if I see it and I have comps, I'll give you one. But you better be a nice person that's not lying about being down and out. And like you better.

And as long as you're gracious and grateful and and you're I'm not going to be like, here you go, you poor person. Like, I get it. Like, you poor person. I get it. I'm not going to make you feel bad about asking and I'm not going to make you prove it by giving me bank statements or something. But listen, if I can, and if you don't get through on my DMs, it's because I, again, I either didn't see it

or sometimes they don't get through. It's very strange who gets through for me and who doesn't. So I apologize if you don't get through, but if I do see it or sometimes they don't get through. It's very strange. Who gets through for me and who doesn't? So I apologize if you don't get through. But if I do see it and you're just like, I really want to see you

and I don't have the money, I'll got you. You're so generous. I wish I could give away all free tickets. I know. But how are you going to? But mommy's got to make money.

Mama's got to make some money. Mama has Venmo's too. There's a lot of Venmo requests. I bet you do. This is the new thing on Venmo. They will just write you because people can just guess what your Venmo name is

by guessing like variations of your name with underscores or whatever it is. And they will just write like pizza and tickets and they'll make you think that maybe you do owe them for this thing. And then some people just say, and I think they just do this to celebrities and it's got to work sometimes because sometimes it's like, I just

need groceries. Like that'll be the Venmo. And it's like asking for 20 bucks. And if I'm in a kind spirit, I might just go, all right. I think I've one time fulfilled it. Please don't send me tons of them because I won't. Oh my God, you're going to get it. This guy wrote, asked for $300.

Listen to this, Airbnb and candles. If I was not a discerning person, I might just go, yeah, I guess I owe that person for an Airbnb and candles. Or if I had my assistant maybe fulfilling my Venmo's instead of me personally. That might be the scam. This is like when they tell people to send a wedding invitation to billionaires because they usually have assistants going through all their invitations.

They'll turn it down, but they'll send you a gift. Wait, did you get that invitation? What? For a wedding? I don't get my mail, really. No, we sent a picture of it. Someone sent one from St. Louis to you. Oh, really?

Did you get it? Maybe. Maybe it was when my phone was dead, or that's what I'll say. Yeah, I think it's when your phone was dead. Yeah, my phone did die. I was without a phone was dead or that's what I'll say yeah I think it's when your phone was dead yeah my phone did die I was without a phone for like 15 maybe 30 hours

I don't know how you managed 15 to 30 hours and so much stuff got lost poor Nikki that must have been difficult any news I was waiting to hear back on I was like it must have been sent during that time

I'm not gonna be upset with that person yeah and anything it was it's nice it was so nice when you can't be on your phone. Except I will say

I was going through a stressful moment. Like I lost, my phone screen died and I was going through an emotionally stressful kind of couple hours when it happened.

Okay. And I started binging food because I couldn't be, my phone was the thing that was going to distract me out of this. Right. I had to reach for a drug. Like I ate so much in that period where I was trying be, my phone was the thing that was going to distract me out of this. I had to reach for a drug.

Like I ate so much in that period where I was trying to calm my nervous system because I was going through like, I just needed to cry probably. But I usually would have just scrolled on my phone or just like not even scrolled. Let's talk about like reached out to my girls chat, reached out to my friends via text, like reached out to something to soothe me. But I had no communication with the outside world. So it was just Skinny Pop. Which, you know, that name is ironic when you eat four bags. Four party-sized bags.

Party-sized. I like the idea, I've said this before, but just the idea of a girl just shoveling Skinny Pop in her face and being like, why isn't it working? What geniuses, marketing geniuses, putting the word skinny. Bethany Oh yeah Skinny girl

With their skinny girl cocktails Amazing marketing Yeah This will make you skinny Well you remember Smart Thins When I was growing up There was a cookies

Called Smart Thins There was a lot of things Back then That were Trying to trick you Into thinking That they were healthy But they're not

Yeah Yeah Green packaging Equals good for the planet, good for your heart. Anything with thin in it, too. There's not a single candy bar that I can think of that would have a green package, except for maybe

not a chocolate bar. There's Skittles. There's sour Skittles, actually. Yeah, but that's not even that earthy kind of forest green, Kelly green. That connotes health. not even that like earthy kind of forest forest green kelly green that that andy's health maybe yeah oh that's a good one okay then there's mints but it's not really candy but andy's mints also feel like aren't nobody's bad for you like when you eat when i eat dark chocolate i'm

like i could i could too i love them i Yeah. If you talk to someone with a binge eating disorder, they can binge. I could binge baby carrots. It's crazy. Yeah, but that's not binging. Yeah, it is. If you get sick from baby carrots. Speaking of baby carrots,

I used to binge baby carrots when I was like more anorexic days of my life. And it turns your skin orange. Wow, really? Which I like because that's my go-to. I got a spray tan for the Emmys, Creative Arts Emmys that I presented at the other night. I can see it.

It is, I told- Looks great. It's so orange. He went bananas. He did it, by the way. Did you hear me say he? Bananas are yellow. Oh.

He went oranges. That was the first tone. He went apricots. He just went oranges. He, yes, I called the place because i usually go to this place in la for um the versa spa which is what i recommend every girl if you want to try a spray tan it ups your hotness by so much just do the booths just walk in get sprayed down do the highest level you're not going to look too orange the highest level will not make you look like ross from friends in that one episode it will not be crazy looking if you want like soup go i have to sometimes go to these booths

twice in a row to get the shade i want oh so i went to this guy or i called up and i go do you guys do airbrush which is when they do it manually right because i'm like this is the emmys i gotta not do versus what's the difference this place doesn't even get me tan enough the versus pause you stand there and a machine does it why Why would you want it? A machine? Hand done is going to be just a better job. And you can tell them what you want. Like, oh, my legs do not absorb color. My face absorbs it so much.

So I want one pass on my face and I want like 14 passes on my legs. My lower leg shin area for some reason does not collect tan. So you can just be specific and you get to have your labia in someone's face as they get right between your legs and tell you to relax so that's also a plus of it and it's a guy i don't like a machine just to look at me nude i want to see yes a man so i called and i go hey um and whenever i'm there it's always like a gay man working very gay man well that feels better. Or a woman. And so I just called up and was like, do you guys do airbrush?

And I assume they'd have a woman airbrush or like a very, very gay man. Right. Which is maybe even that. I'm sorry. Oh, God. It wasn't any of those. No, it was like this guy answered and he goes, what do you need this for? And I go, I usually come to you guys and I get the versus spot.

And he's like, no, no, no. You let's do airbrush for you. And I was like, let's like, is this you in the company? company like i got a girl who will do that or is this let's you but i can't really ask that and by the time i'm off the phone i'm like i think i hung up and i'm with chris he's getting fitted for his tux and i'm with the my friend stacy who's fitting him and i'm like you guys i think i just agreed to have a man spray tan me and i get nude nude like i have a man spray tan me. And I get nude, nude, nude. Like I have a nude thong on. But that's just... But everything else,

this person gets to just get up in. And so I got there. And I was right. Oh, my God. He was just a guy. He was totally asexual to me and probably I was to him. Right.

But it was a man. And that was a little weird. I would not be okay. And he kept telling me to relax. I was butt naked. And that was a little weird. I would not be okay. And he kept telling me to relax. I was butt naked. And my fingers would be a little too like Barbie-like. And they need to be. And when I take photos too, when I'm doing photo sessions,

I always like my hand will be like clamped. Or like your fingers are supposed to be loose. And it's so hard to remember to do that. It's so hard modeling. But he kept telling me to relax. Let me see your hands. If you got. No, underneath. Nothing. Okay hard modeling. But he kept telling me to relax. Let me see your hands. If you got, no,

underneath. Nothing. Okay, good. No, he wiped me clean. Like he's efficient and then he came in and was like rolling out the areas and like just getting right up

next to my nipple. Like doesn't, but wasn't looking at me sexually. Was leaving the door open a lot of times to leave and I'm like, there's people walking by. Oh my God.

Luckily, I'm a person who doesn't care about being naked I really I don't I don't see myself sexually when I'm when I'm not in the mood to be seen sexually I don't think anyone else can sexualize me and I honestly don't care if someone

does really it's when I I really don't care the only thing I care about is if it makes other people uncomfortable like I like Brian would be in my room all the time during F boy island and we'd be writing stuff and then I would be really don't care i the only thing i care about is if it makes other people uncomfortable like i like brian would be in my room all the time during f boy island and we'd be writing stuff and then i would be i'd be still talking about a scene while i'm like changing behind a curtain and sometimes i'd look in the mirror and i'd be like oh my god brian could just like see me naked and then i'd be

like i don't care if he does because i look at him like a brother and not that i want to see my brother naked but i don't want him to... I don't ever want people to... People sometimes, I think, think that I like when people have to like... You have to deal with my sexuality. I'm just going to rub it in your face. Yeah, you're nothing like that. But I don't like that. Brian, FYI.

She's telling you now. Yeah. Yeah. If you ever see me naked, it's not because I'm like, I can't wait for Brian to catch a glimpse. It's never intentional. And I see myself... You just don't care. It's not that I'm like I can't wait for Brian to catch a glimpse like it's never intentional it's oh and I see myself you just don't care I I know it's not that I don't care I care about other people's experience but I don't care about personally you don't care if anybody sees you if someone tells me they jerked off to me or that they were turned on by me it does not matter it doesn't impact me I wish I had that feeling about wait what do you feel when people don't want to

fuck me that's what I'm okay what do you feel when people say I did that? I just kind of go like, I mean, people don't say that, but when someone makes a gross comment, I was just telling Chris this the other day because he was watching a meet and greet and there was this disgusting guy at the meet and greet that just got too close and put his hand on my waist too hard and like kind of pulled me too tight.

And of course that man's phone wasn't working I swear to God 9 out of 10 times that a phone doesn't work it's a phone that belongs to a stinky sweat like not even stinky you can stink and be near me I won't care just like a really lecherous person is touching me too close

he wants to like show that he owns me and it's not even like i don't know how if they were just to say like i'm attracted to you you're a beautiful girl like i want you to know that i think you're hot it that's okay to me it's when they think that when they're trying to fuck me that's when it's gross when they think like it's one thing to be like i think you're beautiful and i never stand a chance and you just need to know that like that's so nice i don't care if it's a straight man that says that to me,

I will always be like, thank you. You know? Um, it's when they try to, this guy holding me is trying to let me know with body language. Like it's just our little secret that this guy's into me. If he's just says it outright,

Matt can hear him. Matt's taking pictures. Chris is there. He can hear it. Then people are accountable. Whereas if they're just doing a little grab or something where it's like, if you want it, you can get it. That kind of thing. That disgusts

me. And then they do the thing where they just graze your butt as they put their hand down. Any graze is bad. But that also doesn't... It's gross. But it happens. I'm sure. I instantly go to... And then I'm like, get the hell out. My face drops. I want everyone in line to see that I hate that guy.

I don't say anything to him because it's not worth it. Yeah, then you get into an argument. That's the thing. There's an interesting human compulsion to point out when you think someone's hot.

Like, you ever, just like watching a television show and someone's hot and then you have to say it? Like, why is that? Why do you have to?

But it happens all the time. It happens to me where it's just like i feel like i have to say does ally care or do you say it about girls and guys does ally care if you say it about a girl like what's the vibe i feel like sometimes she can tell when i think someone's hot on tv and we're watching it and then she'll point it yes because the pillow on your lap raises. Yeah. It just starts going up and up. Oh my God. Nick, last night your dad said something about Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune. I was like, are you serious?

He's going, boy, she still looks good. I'm like, oh, well, that's a rude thing to say because that is like something you could achieve. Well, I'm just like, well, yeah, she's very wealthy and all she does is work on turning letters. All she has to do is turn letters and the rest of the day she can do Pilates. I'm like, you've got to go to the bins.

You've got to go. You've got to jump. What are you doing all day? You could be doing what Vanna does. I'm busy as hell. No, you are. I agree. And her job is to look hot.

Your job is not. Yeah, that's her job. She makes a lot of money looking hot. You inspired my joke that I have where when guys say someone's hot, that's just clearly hot. Like, I remember Tim Convey, Chris's brother, years ago. This is long before he was married, and I'm sure he does not feel this way about this woman anymore now that he's married. But I remember him being like, man, I'm a J-Lo guy. And I was like, I don remember it's the first time i kind of like made fun of him to his face like

just i was just really not having it and i remember he was laughing so hard about it because i was like it's not interesting tim that's like i got it from you though like cool aj cool yeah oh yeah katie couric you're really into her legs you gotta make a comment yeah but you're right brian people need to say when people are tall when people are extremely good looking because i realized that when i was partners with gleb savchenko on dancing with the stars right he's so hot you have to say something and also to him or just yeah people just say it to him they just go god damn it like it's just i want to know the psychology behind that why do you feel like you have to like it just sometimes you see someone who's really hot like if you have a waiter or

something who's super hot like and you're just getting served like there's this you have to like resist the temptation to point out the fact that they're hot. Why? I think we're resisting that urge with bad things too, but we know bad things, no one wants to hear that to their face. So I think oftentimes we let the good things out more. No one's going to go, Jesus, you're ugly. But being pretty is a nice thing to say to people. So I think we,

we probably verbalize it more, but we think both extremes. Maybe I think people think I have really good taste. Like I'm saying he's hot and that's my taste. Like, don't I have good taste? Right? Like some,

it somehow means they're attractive too because they can sense it. You said it. Well, this gets us onto, actually, it kind of sets us up perfectly for what I want to talk about, which is the Joe Coy monologue at the Golden Globes. Oh, yeah.

And it's about taste. We're going to get to it, but taste is a big factor in what I think went wrong with that monologue. Okay. And I think that you can pride yourself on good taste. Some people do have good taste and when I point out

if someone's good looking, I do want them to be like, oh, well, she's not just saying, like, I do have, I have an ego about my level of taste

which is not correct. It's just my dumb ego saying that. Right. Which I am reading this book, Letting Go, and I just got to a chapter

about pride and pride apparently is one of the easiest things to let go of, but you should not have pride in anything is what this guy argues. Pride is the number one way to think you're better than someone to think you deserve more. And it's the number one way to be let down and to have an ego about things.

If you just are, if you just are like, I, I'm grateful that my family is well to do instead of like, I'm proud of my family is well-to-do instead of like, I'm proud of my lineage. It doesn't mean you did anything. This guy pretty much is the same Sam Heresy.

You didn't do anything being born into this family. Your brain was not your choice. You got lucky. You don't get to be proud of your brain. You can be grateful for your intelligence. You don't get to be proud of your brain. You can be grateful for your intelligence. You don't get to be proud of it like you did something. Because that's actually a really selfish thing to be. But then we all seek people.

Like, all I want to, you know, you hear celebrities all the time. I just want to make my parents proud. Like, if you guys suddenly weren't proud of me and were just like, I'm just grateful she's talented. I don't know how I'd stomach that. But we'll unpack it later, right after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show

podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show,

ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He's already been seen out and about not giving a shit. Good for him. I guess I'll start with that. I liked his response to it of saying like, yeah, I'm not going to lie. It really hurts. I will say that Mike, I have endless questions for the behind the scenes of how this all went down.

And who was writing for him or what? Well, I have some answers in that way that i'm not going to exactly share but what i will share is that i desperately want to know did he go to the after party what was it like backstage after the monologue throughout the show after he threw the writers under the bus was there did the writers come up to him like they probably did because writers are professional and they have to like they as soon as you come on stage they flank you and go okay here's the next bit what we're gonna do and they go over everything after he's just thrown them under the bus i think that would be an amazing thing to hear about um and i also want to know if he was able to sleep

that night um and if he got any sleep how much was it when he woke up in the morning and woke up and opened his eyes was did he cry was there anyone there to support him emotionally like what was his self-care in being bludgeoned by at every angle for literally everything he said yeah um there was no there was no even point of like i mean there was a little bit of like well he just got this gig and um and this is a stuffy room some people came to his defense defense, but I think by and large, it was a onslaught of negativity that I don't know that I would have been able to handle. Brian, anything to say about those points?

That sucks. I mean, you don't get credit. It sucks you don't get credit for the effort or the amount of time that you had to put in any effort to do something. No. People just look at the final product

and they judge it regardless of whether it took you one day to do or it took you One year to do it's like when I write a script if I submit a script to somebody Sometimes it takes me two weeks to write a script Sometimes i'm working on a script for six to eight months The person reading the script doesn't know or care about how they're just reading a script And they're going to judge it next to another script that maybe someone worked 10 years on And so it's the same with a monologue. It's like it doesn't matter

how long it took. It just is what it is and it's being presented. And I feel bad as a comedian for Joe Coy because I think the audience was not fair to him just as fellow performers. The audience

was filled with fellow performers who were watching this guy try his best and didn't give him fucking anything. Just give this guy a break. They seemed so uptight. They seemed better than.

They wanted to judge him and look down on him. Because they all think they're better than him. Michael Chase said it so great, perfectly. He said, no one in Hollywood

respects comedians. They haven't been up for, perfectly. He said no one in Hollywood respects comedians. They haven't been up for Oscars. There's no Oscar for best comedy. Hollywood doesn't respect comedians. They looked at him as less than. And by the way, here's the other problem is not only that are these smug people who are all so self-important and have been told for

you know, and it's now award season. They're all nominated. They think they're the most important people on the planet. They're a gift to society that they have done some role that they didn't write, that they just were good at because they have, they looked the right part. They had the right genes. I'm sorry,

but Kiernan, Kiernan Culkin, amazing as Roman, as my favorite character. Right. One of my favorite characters on my favorite TV show of all time, Succession. He is Roman.

Yeah. There's no acting. Right. He gets up and gives a speech and it is roman yeah it's there's obviously talent in what he does like he brings other things to that character but it's not it's i've been saying this forever acting is not that big of a deal i don't think any of that i don't even think being a comic is that big of a deal it's all we're we're we're not saving the world but these these events make it seem as as though we are it's this is it so it's it's also just we all know this it's just pomp and you really do get an insight into how someone is treated on the red carpet too because you see like i was watching an interview with timothy chalamet who was coming out and the interviewer was just sucking his dick for five minutes, just saying, you have the best fashion.

What are you wearing right now? Did he get Kylie's permission? Yeah, and then Kylie came out and said, excuse me. Can you just imagine 24-7 your entire life, you're just getting your dick sucked left and right by every single person that comes from the valet to your friends to your family just you could not be a normal person these people should not be normal they should be smug assholes like they are there is no other way in which they would turn out we would all be this way i think there's varying degrees i mean i don't i don't know that if i would have been

just actors are already so self-important because they're not usually that creative of people. They are within what they work, you know, for what they do, they're creative, but they're not writing stuff. They're just kind of dull. Like I just saw an interview with this actor who everyone is just fucking jizzing over. I'm not going to say who it was,

but he's so not interesting. The interviewer was carrying the whole interview it was like could you say one funny thing one thing that makes you have any riz charisma that's right i've heard that and it was like no he's just hot and he's good in this role we like his character well you know how i'm sorry you know how you know how uh? Think about the hottest person in your school or the hottest person you know. How boring are they? And now you take that hot person

and you make them a movie star that's constantly... Those people are those hot people that you thought were boring from your high school. They're the same hot. Yes. It's so... Jennifer Lawrence, I i think stole the show

i would love her to host next year did you see when the camera shots on her so they were announcing you know they're like up for best actress for a comedy movie or whatever and they're you know jennifer lawrence for no hard feelings and the camera goes to her and she just mouths she mouths it we don't see her saying she goes if, if I don't win, I'm leaving. And it's just this perfect delivery. I mean, she's hilarious already. She's had so many moments caught on camera where she's just candidly so funny. And this was obviously a planned moment with her personally, not within the show.

But that was the greatest comedy moment of the show. I didn't see the whole show, but I want to say that you're right about no one in the room respected him it was so it was dog shit what they did to him they gave him nothing as soon as as soon as they all looked at taylor swift and she wasn't laughing along no one was gonna laugh as soon as they see one person offended everyone's offended it's like when you make a joke at a comedy club and you make a joke about black people and everyone looks to the table of black people are they laughing and you know and then the comedian says everyone's looking at the table of black people it's like that happened but it's like the i would say the litmus for that room was probably taylor swift everyone was kind of yeah what is she gonna laugh

at and that dictates what we can laugh at but what joe coy did not do which i think mike lawrence had this point in a tweet i posted or an instagram post i posted yesterday mike lawrence is a writer and um he actually wrote one of the best jokes i ever did for the roast which i um he last minute came into my trailer and was like no one will do this joke and it was the one with um ann coulter about where i said um the the old the only man who will be happy is the mexican who digs your grave. It was something about... I forget what it was, but I didn't like

the joke because it did... Why did it have to be a Mexican digging her grave? I just thought that was inherently racist, but it's one of the jokes that's quoted back to me the most, and Mike Lawrence wrote that joke, and it's a great joke, but he said yesterday on Instagram, and I'm paraphrasing, but it was something of like

he gave no, Jokoi gave no context for the situation. He didn't let us know who he was. He didn't let us know what he was doing. Yeah, who knew who he was? It was just all, no one did. But here's what I will say.

I had a similar thing happen to me this weekend. I was presenting at the Creative emmys and when you get booked on the gig you get a sense of confidence in yourself almost like what we're talking about where you think because these people have booked me clearly i'm well known you know like you almost get a sense that like everyone must know and i obviously don't think that way i think my listeners know I don't think I'm hot shit but there's little moments where you just you just don't think I must be worthy I didn't even think it wasn't like I was thinking

I was or wasn't I just went with what I assumed which is like I got the gig therefore people will know who Nikki Glaser is this is an industry function and I went out and I didn't contextualize my position in the show. What I would have done differently,

in hindsight, which Brian and I talked about this joke prior and we just didn't nail it. So I kind of had my own little bomb moment this week. I wouldn't say it was a bomb, but it was like, no one would be like, wow, she killed it. But I'm so grateful it happened on a smaller screen because I learned my lesson.

I will never, ever do what I did this weekend again, which is not give myself enough time to work on it. And I also learned that no matter what how big you think you are or how much you think everyone knows, you always contextualize. So jokes need context. What award am I presenting?

Don't think the audience is going to remember. And next up for Outstanding Comedy Special, here's podcaster Nikki Glaser. First of all, don't introduce me as a podcaster. No one knows. That doesn't say comedian to anyone. You need to contextualize. She's going to be funny.

Also, anybody can have a podcast. Because I'm looking gorgeous in this beautiful dress. Yes, it doesn't mean funny. This person started a podcast. You know? Yeah. Well, let me tell you how that happened. Because they asked me, my manager wrote me and said do you want them to um how do you want to be introduced not introduced

it was like uh for maybe he said introduced but how i took it was like what my chiron would say and i was like oh put nikki glazer podcast let's get a how do you want to be remembered on the chiron yeah yeah i mean sure but i would not have chosen to be introduced to this whole crowd as the host of the nikki glazer podcast that means literally nothing to them in terms of context it should have been comedian nikki glazer that's it so i walk out that's pretty funny there is a huge long ramp to walk down in my my heels i can't walk so from the time they say the category and my name there's another seven seconds which is eternity in tv of clapping for me to get to the microphone and i just started without any context i didn't say the name of the award again i didn't say i'm

i didn't say something like it feels good to present this award because i'm a comedian like something right to be like hi i know you don't know who i am and if you do great but let's assume you don't so that's stuff i learned but um great, but let's assume you don't. So that's stuff I learned. But I really was able to recover from it. First, it stung to not do as great as you want to do. But I'm kind of used to doing these award shows and the audiences are just never good. And I don't care. It's I mean, I'm I'm used to things working on TV at home, but I don't even know that this would work at home is my problem.

But in the room, it just didn't. I didn't kill it. And and it felt awful when i walked off stage i was like i just want to leave i don't want to go to the after party like i had all those thoughts that i'm thinking about for joe coy but it wasn't live on tv with everyone tweeting this is going to be on fxx this saturday at like 11 o'clock at night like no one's going to see it and if they do please tweet that i bombed i don't care um because i learned my lesson like i i stayed in this zone of like why did i do that why did oh i could have worked harder i had the script before

i decided to start working on it why did like i could have gone about all these regrets but instead i was just like there was no world in which i was going to do any of that i didn't do it it didn't happen next time i'll kill it and the next time I would have fucked up too had I not had this happen. I'm glad that I learned a lesson. This is, you just got to learn lessons and that's okay. And I should have learned this one. I wish I would have thought more,

but like you can't help yourself if you don't think of something. Oh gosh. You know, when you go, I totally didn't even think of that. Like sometimes dad gets mad at you because you can't remember something. Julie, we went there last week.

And I go, why are you mad at her? Do you think she chose to forget that? I don't even know how you do that. I don't even know how that's possible. She doesn't mean to forget it. Well, you ease up. But it's weird to be mad at yourself about something that you couldn't have changed. And literally, you can't change anything because there's no free will.

But I think that Joe Coy should have contextualized it. I'm not going to let him off the hook though, is my thing. No, because he did a cardinal sin also. I mean,

as bad as you're bombing, you can't start telling the audience you're bombing. Don't ever do that. Don't be like, I'm bombing everybody. And then,

obviously, don't throw your writers under the bus. And he said, sorry. Well, guess who does that? Who? You know, all the late night talk shows. Like, Seth Meyers will say, well, I didn't write that joke. Or he'll throw that out a lot.

I don't think they'll say, I didn't write that joke. They'll go, well, that one's a clunker. And it's inferred that maybe- No, he'll say, so-and-so wrote that joke. Here go well that one's a clunker and it's inferred that maybe he'll say so and so wrote that here's the difference the context of a late night show is that there are writers and those writers are constantly churning out stuff there is not a most people think joe coy wrote this himself and that is the way it's supposed to be presented and you're not supposed to break that fourth wall you can but and I understand what made him do it.

I get it. I don't know that I would have done differently in his position. I wouldn't have because Joe Coy is Joe Coy. And if I were Joe Coy, I would have done the same thing. But my point is, I saw that as not as extreme, but a Kramer type moment of you're bombing. You don't know what to do.

There is a surge of anger when you are bombing and also when you're bombing and you're like fuck you guys i've done like he had a fuck you in him because they they were they were pieces of shit not giving because yeah when he the first joke that bombed they could have been nicer it wasn't like he was doing really bad yeah you know um my tits falling out thanks mom you can just say i'm just mom i just want you to see my poop and i as long as you're comfortable once again i'm not comfortable with that check out the youtube guys go to the youtube um but uh i i could see myself when i'm bombing like there's this i can't describe it you've had it before you know when you just get like a rage yeah like just

an angry rage growing up no it's like it's almost just get like a rage? Yeah. Like just an angry rage. Like I'm screwing up? No, it's like, it's almost, it's like the Dane Cook joke where you trip on something and you get mad and like,

who left that thing out? But it's like, you're just embarrassed. It's a desperate flailing. Yes, and so he had a rage to the audience. It's a survival technique. and you are,

absolutely, to blame anything else. To blame, and dad is really good at this. And I get it from dad. Poor AJ. No, no, no. He said, what are you guys going to talk about? I said, probably you.

I know. I love that you said that. I was like, whoa, she's not holding back. Just don't listen. Yeah, just don't listen. Yeah. Just kidding. But no, I mean, in our family, we're quick to go like, well, I would

have done that, but you didn't do this. But you didn't do this. But, like, it's always worth, it's not my fault. Why could I have done better if something else would have been going, which is true a lot of times. I mean, he could blame his writers. He didn't have to leave his big shoes laying there. Yes. In my pathway.

Yes. But it's, it isn't their fault. The the writers i don't care how bad these writers were if they were bad i don't think they were but if they were i think what i think happened is that he chose bad jokes well i listened to it today i didn't think it was that bad the boobies joke that was bad the barbie joke was the worst jokes I've ever heard in my life. So it bombed. But I know where that joke came from. I know.

I don't think it was. I think a woman could have even written that joke. I don't think that was. It was a sexist joke. It was dumb. But it wasn't like I'm not mad about it. Like, why would they say Oppenheimer's based on this novel and Barbie's just based on a doll with boobies? I'm mad that it's bad.

You know, it's not about, you know, it's when Jerry Seinfeld says, I'm not mad about that he's pretending he's Jewish. I'm not offended as a Jewish person. I'm offended as a comedian. I'm offended as a comedian that that joke got through because it's bad. And boobies is the worst word.

And I get, I think boobies was originally written in the joke to be funny, to be like boobies. Like it's, it's, it is being used not because that was just the word that they wanted for breasts. It's being used comedically. It was supposed to infantilize that portion of the joke. Like this is about Oppenheimer, 471 page book. And this is about a doll with boobies, but he didn't deliver it right to be like as silly

as it was supposed to be. Do you agree, Brian, that boobies was was even though that's the worst word i've ever heard used in a joke it was used as a word they chose that well yeah i think they chose it because they thought that would be the funniest word to say there um but in terms of just like picking the wrong jokes or it it all doesn't matter i think if he just went up there, recognized internally that he was bombing, and then just delivered his jokes with a smile on his face and walked off the stage,

probably no one would be talking about this except for the Taylor Swift moment. No. It would just be the Taylor Swift moment. Everyone talks about whenever you reference Taylor Swift, even if she's not there, there's going to be articles about it.

But besides that joke, if he just, this happens in LA constantly. When you're, for me anyway, for if you're, if you're not a famous comedian, where everybody knows who you are,

if you're just doing shows in LA, where there's industry in the audience, it happens constantly where you just go up there and do your material to silence. And I learned early on in moving to LA, when that happens, you can't do what you used to do in New York and yell at the audience and be like, what the fuck is happening, you guys? In New York, that works. In New York, if you yell at the audience and try to get in on, they'll start laughing. They'll be like, oh, okay, this guy can roll with us. In LA, it's the exact opposite.

The more you yell at them, the quieter they get. They get so quiet. It's like quieter than before they were even in the room. That's how quiet they get. Wow. It's like John Krasinski directed it. So you just stand up there and you deliver your act like you're on camera, on television, and they don't exist.

I wrote for Joe Cole. And you get off stage. Yeah. And then what happens is the craziest thing. You get off stage and someone will come up to you and go that was fucking awesome you were really funny and i was like you didn't laugh one time the entire show yeah well here's the deal you are what you tell people you are hollywood's such bullshit if you act as if they fall for it. It's,

it's, as soon as he said, man, these jokes aren't going, as soon as he acknowledged that he was not doing well, it was over because people then knew,

then they knew. I'm even nervous about saying that I didn't do well in this Brave Arts Emmys because I don't think you would, I don't think you would

fucking notice if I didn't say that but now you're gonna watch it with this lens. This is what I talk about with, with when you watch YouTube videos and the comment

pops up telling you how to feel about it. It does change how you perceive things. So if he wouldn't have commented on it, we wouldn't know, but I would know. Oh my God, I would know because I'm a comedian, but I don't think most people would have this reaction. I do want to talk about the Taylor Swift joke. I didn't even

hear that one. I'll tell you about it. Okay. Yeah, we'll talk about that when we get back oh yeah that's great john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast the daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.

Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alright, we're back. Okay, can you cue up the Taylor Swift joke? So, Mom, Jokoi's he's already done the monologue and then, oh, I just want to say one thing while she's cuing this up.

One of my favorite parts of the Golden Globes was at the very end. I just like these human moments where people's like the real thing shows through joe coy is saying good night and he's like good night everyone get home safe whatever and then um and then the camera just stays on him too long and he just just drop his face drops you know like you're getting off a zoom call before you press you think you're off yes and you can just see him walk off stage like with a face there was a moment of that and i really felt for him because we yeah i had the same thing happen to me the other night when i was not my first joke didn't do well my second joke didn't do well and brian my my spirit left my body it was hovering above me.

It was in the room and it was like, I was just reading the prompter at that point because I'm like, you are bombing in front of John Mulaney who you're about to present an award to. He is your favorite comedian. He's also a peer. This is Olivia Munn sitting there.

It's a room of every crew person I've ever worked on any show with in my life. But after the show, I will say, everyone was like, you were hilarious. No one knew. Because I didn't act like I bombed. Yeah, because you didn't act like you bombed. Well, John said I was funny,

and I go, John. And then what did he do? We got off stage. He was like, you were great. I go, that was horrible. I was like, that was not my best. But you, he didn't say anything. It was fine. You're not was not what you say to that i was like but you i can't he didn't say anything it it was fine you're not really not gonna notice and there it it the jokes are funny the audience just didn't like them and then i think i lost um like even i i just had like you have that moment of like oh no i'm bombing it's a horrible feeling everyone it's a bad on tv people

are gonna watch that it's gonna be sweetened no one would notice if you didn't mention it no one would even remember it but here's the secret in the room just remember this you are by definition in a room full of narcissists who do not give a shit about anyone else and what anyone's doing except themselves so it's like doubly true as a regular audience to them that they do not give a shit it was it i will say that the creative arts that means it's mostly like behind the scenes people it's editors it's sound technicians it's producers it's directors it's um and it was unscripted so i was asking because i was thinking maybe of referencing some big names in the room during my thing so i go I wrote to the woman who was my writer I said

who are some big names that are going to be there and she was like well cast of Selling Sunset Vanderpump everyone from Vanderpump and she goes and don't tell anyone this but Jeff Probst but he's leaving before you even go up so I don't think you're

going to get a chance to see him and I was like what are we talking about Jeff Probst. But he's leaving before you even go up. So I don't think you're going to get a chance to see him. I was like, what are we talking about? Jeff Probst. Jeff Probst did open the show. He's a smaller man than I thought he would be. He looked like he should be on top of a wedding cake. He was a tiny man. He looks tiny.

Chris and I were both like, what? We were front row and we were like, he is little, little. And he was the size of it. Those tiki torches must be very tiny. He must have a tinier version because he doesn't look, it would be towering. A regular one would be towering over this man. You know that the creative team

made those smaller for him. Well, there's one part of my favorite movie, Popstar, where we watched it the other night. Remember, they're going through his list of people working for him and he has a perspective man. And they're like, what's that? And it's like, that's a man that's shorter guy that stands next to him in photos so that he looks taller.

Perspective shifter or something like that. Okay, so the Taylor Swift moment. Joe Coy. I haven't watched this yet. I haven't heard it or seen it. I've just seen pictures. I can't. I can't.

There's a moment in this clip that he can't help, but I think it's the funniest moment. Oh, it's the best part, Brian. I actually did hear it and I laughed so hard. Okay, let's listen, everyone. As you know, we came on after a football double header. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL

on the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear. It's just more to go camera shots of Taylor Swift. I swear. It's just more to go to. Sorry about that. No laugh and takes a sip of champagne. I had to close my eyes. I had to close my eyes.

Why? Why do you have to close your eyes? Because I don't like her reaction. Why did she even react to that? It's not that terrible. Agreed. But the fact that he's a camera. I've done that before because you're

reading a prompter and you don't know what's next and so you think it's a different word and so you're like camaraderie and you're like come and so that's what happened that's what made the joke bomb if he wouldn't deliver the joke's not good to begin with that is no shade i've written a thousand horrible jokes in my life even when i'm'm trying my best. It's no shade. I really don't mean anything by that. It's not a good joke. But I will say it is a good joke for Taylor Swift because it is victimless. It is not mean to her.

It is not saying anything mean about her, even slightly. So the idea that she could be offended by this offends me. Oh, I see. As a Swifty. So you don't want to look at her and see her react. She didn't really react. She just took a sip of her drink. I gotta believe, and I choose to believe that Taylor Swift just

didn't know it was about her or heard her name, didn't understand, maybe just assumed it was offensive when it wasn't. That's what I think. But there is no way she was actually offended by that. And if she was, we have a problem. I don't think she even reacted. she just took a drink of

her drink here's what chris thinks and i think it's a good idea chris thinks that she had planned she she's taylor swift and she's at the golden globes there's a camera in her face she knows there's going to be a joke made about her she probably thought it would be a better joke a little more scathing of a joke and she had planned to have this perfect sip response because that is a great response to a shitty joke about you. Yeah. To a joke that's making fun of all the men you've dated, making fun of the fact that you're,

what else could you make fun of? I don't even know. They usually just come after her for she writes songs about her exes. Right. So that's a perfect sip of like, mm-hmm. So I think,

Chris thinks she just planned to do that no matter what. Yeah. That was going to be her move when a joke was made about her. Yeah. But I think that she was, I definitely don't think she was offended.

And if she is acting offended, someone needs to tell, someone in her camp needs to have a conversation about this. I don't think she was offended. You don't think so? No. I think she was just taking a sip of her. But shouldn't she? Just like Chris said, she was going to do that regardless. If you're Taylor Swift, though, and you accidentally made it look like you're

offended do you double down and go hey I want to say I wasn't offended I just planned to sip and the sip was at the wrong place or do you double down and just act like you were offended so that you don't look like you did like later on getting a lot of press yeah like he's getting he's getting so much heat for this this this

jab she's so above there so why what if I were Taylor Swift which I'm not and also she's this jab where he skewered her. So why would, if I were Taylor Swift, which I'm not, and also she's way busy and probably doesn't give a fuck, I'm just looking for her to say, Joe Coy, it's all good. I didn't even

understand the joke. It was a miscommunication. She knows that this is happening. She's 100% aware. Oh, this is huge. Really? Yes, she knows. She I think I think she knows. I I hope to God she's not offended by that joke because as much as I love her and as much as I never want anything mean to be said about her, you you there's no one who's exempt

from having a joke written about them. You aren't Mohammed who people can't draw or whatever. Like this isn't like you aren't. Do you can't draw or whatever. This isn't like... Do you know what I'm saying? That's the only thing that I can think of. We don't make jokes about it because we're all scared. Jada Pinkett is the Muhammad. But even that now is fodder again.

I think that my theory is that she didn't even hear the joke. Her name's not mentioned until the last word. She probably wasn't even listening to Joe just like the rest of the audience wasn't why would she be she's sitting there chatting with Selena Gomez

or whoever was next to her and then she just hears Taylor Swift and she takes a sip I bet you she was expecting a joke to come after that yeah honestly if you listen to the joke because and then she hears taylor swift she's like oh oh this is about me i have said jokes i have butchered jokes because i'm reading

them from a prompter and i forget what they are and i forget the inflection and you're just kind of reading the next word a million times yeah but that joke he it was not already good and it was completely butchered the the audience didn't you're supposed to talk and joke like that joke is like well this is a little bit different than the nfl because the nfl has less or the nfl has more camera shots or the only difference between us and the nfl is that the golden globes have less camera shots of taylor swift that's how you deliver that joke. It's like, but he was like, but the less camera shots of Taylor Swift. Like it was just like, it didn't have a rhythm. He blew the bad joke anyway. I've done it a million times, especially on live TV.

When you're already like having to, you know, blot off your flop sweat from the monologue you just did. Like this is mid show he's doing this joke. So he is, like, probably filled with anxiety at this moment. And not even thinking about what he's saying. And, yeah, but

it's just delicious. He is a very successful comedian. So it's punching up. I have bombed much worse than him. And I'm not successful and have no fans at all. So I feel like making fun of Joe Coy for saying Comra is in my wheelhouse because he'll recover he's fine

it's going to take a month he'll say that all the time he'll use that reference I don't think he will because no one's talking about the Comra we're the only ones let's listen one more time everyone listen for No one's talking about the car. I didn't even notice it. We're the only ones. I want to go back and listen. Let's listen one more time.

Yeah. Everyone listen for car. As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader. The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL. On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift. Can you keep playing it? I want to hear what the audience's

reaction was before Taylor reacted. We have fewer camber shots of Taylor Swift. I swear. There is a laugh. I mean, even the audience itself actually did laugh at the joke normal, and then they saw Taylor and then they're like, oh, we gotta shut up now.

Yes. And she probably didn't even get it. then they're like, oh, we got to shut up now. Yes. And she probably didn't even get it. She was probably like, I don't think she was listening. There's not enough. There's only lettuce in my salad. There's no tomatoes. They were just coming right back from commercial. They probably didn't even know it was live again.

It's all very confusing in those rooms. In an award show, especially the creative arts Emmys or like, you know, how the, what's the other one where everyone gets drunk at? What's that one called? Golden Globes. The Golden Globes. That's the one we just had. It's not like everyone's sitting there as a perfect audience member waiting for the

comedian to do their monologue. It's like kind of like undersold and confusing. And the whole thing takes four fucking hours. Most of the time, you're just hoping to talk to the person at your table. The person on stage is not even of consequence. No.

No one's listening. It becomes very tedious. It wears off very quickly. Everyone's just trying to get a selfie. They're trying to take selfies with the person next to them, but they're trying to get Taylor Swift in the background of it. That's what I think is the main goal in that room. Ca-ham-ras.

Ca-has. Final thought. Big announcement. Noah is pregnant. Yes. Cat's out of the bag. I hope everyone stayed for the final thought. Noah has been pregnant. Yes. Cat's out of the bag. I hope you I hope everyone

stayed for the final thought. Noah has been pregnant. We've been hiding it. How pregnant are you now? We've been hiding it. Yeah. You've been doing a great job of hiding it.

I at this point I'm 24 weeks out of 40. What does that mean? Because they don't Okay. It's like five months.

Four and a half months? I'm in my fifth. Oh my God. I'm in don't, okay, it's like five months. Four and a half months? Five. I'm in my fifth. Oh, five months. I'm in my fifth era. So, you're in your fifth. Your fifth era? Yes.

Is that what you said? Fifth month era. What is it? So exciting. So you're due when? End of April. Oh, April baby.

Oh my God, that feels like right away. That is so soon. I know. What is, what is your feeling? Oh, this is the thing I wanted to ask you about

because you mentioned it on girls chat. When you tell men you're pregnant, they get horny. They just buckle at the knees. I love it. I don't know what it is. What is this? Where have you experienced this?

Who finds out and like has had this kind of response i want to know so women are also very supportive and like everyone's like super excited and happy to hear about it and i guess like most of my social interactions of the day are at my jujitsu school and yeah when you tell men that you're pregnant i don't know what takes over them but something happens they just get like weak in the knees and they're so excited and happy and start asking you all these questions and i'm just like whoa it's wait is there a horniness to it no like i think that's what i inferred i think it's like it's innocent i don't know what it is about it but it's like wow they're taking such an interest in me and it's and i don't feel is it because they know that you've

had sex and they're thinking about sex kind of? And they're thinking of like a man coming in you and they're just like kind of fired up from that?

I think that's subconsciously what it is. I always want to run away when I start feeling that a dude is like sexually attracted to me. I think I really relate to you in that way

but I didn't feel any of that. It was just kind of like wow, they're so like impressed with me. That's like an impressive accomplishment. And then,

when I tell them that I'm 40, then it's like, whoa. Then people love it. You know who loves that? Women. Yeah. Women love all we do. Our whole girls chat is just sharing old women who are pregnant. Not that you're old

like but women like we just love it everyone loves a woman over you know who doesn't love it though great news it gives us time doesn't love it the medical industry because i like i wish i had a brain to write comedy because there's so much comedy in what i've gone through the process like first of all just because i'm 40 i'm high risk there's like all this like language like negative language around anxiety inducing like don't they call it a geriatric pregnancy okay so i took i think they changed no i had so at a certain point you you draw blood to take a genetics test and in the form that i filled out I had to check off the boxes that said uh first trimester geriatric pregnancy yeah and I told the nurse I was like geriatric really yeah yeah that's that's

what they call it I think over like 37 or something I think they are changing pregnancy yeah old bitch and then if you want to take maternity leave and they're changing it and you go through that whole process, it's not called, well, you just cut out.

Noah, we can't hear you. Can't hear. You're gone. Nope. Brian, can you hear? I can hear you.

I can't hear Noah though. Man, this is her time to shine. This was Noah's big moment. This is the pregnancy announcement. This is what we do to mothers. I'm sorry. This is how it's going to start for me.

This is the medical community. She was about to talk about the medical community. They shut her down. Who's stepping in? Someone should research this. There's something going on here. What I can infer is that I mean I guess we'll just have to hear about it on the next episode

But I'm very excited for my pregnant friend So exciting It is so exciting I just want to know though We really can't hear you I want to know more things Well Arizona baby coming I don't know what's going on

I don't know why her mic's not working But yeah I will just say because Noah can't speak I don't know what's going on. I don't know why her mic's not working. Yeah. I will just say, because Noah can't speak, from my perspective, if I was five months pregnant, this is when I would start going like, I have to push this thing out. I can't even believe... Do not even talk

about that. But it has to happen. Why? I know that it's worth not mentioning. You don't think about that until you do it. I know. That's what I've learned from pregnant women. I'm just like, wait, have you started thinking about your vagina hole opening that much? And they're just like, no. Lauren never even gives it much thought. But I would just be scared of the pain, all that stuff. Well, she's much stronger than you are.

Look around at me like every single person that's ever been born has had a woman on the other side of this that has done this. So for every person there's a person that's been pregnant. Yeah, but that's painful in its own way too because you don't get to say

you pushed it out and women don't respect you as much or something. I think that's just what I've gleaned is that when people say I had a C-section women that had natural birth

go like, well, not as good as me. Recovery's tough. Oh yeah, you've just been split, like cut open and then now you have a newborn also. And you're just back out in the streets right away. It's not a good way to go.

If you can avoid it, you don't do that. It says so in the Bible. You were cursed with painful childbirth because you betrayed Adam in the Garden of Eden. What? Really? No wonder. The women saw an apple. This is an apple thing, actually, I realized.

The woman saw an apple. The snake said, you got to take the fruit from the tree. And the woman went, and Adam said, I'm not going to take it. I'm a smart, respectable man. And then Eve was like, well, I'm a dumb woman, I guess. And then she grabbed the apple and then God said, I curse you with painful childbirth.

That's what it says in the Bible. Oh my God. I'm going to get banished from the Garden of Eden. I guess it's all true then. Oh my God. I guess it's true. I can't.

Speaking of Jesus, I can't get in an uber in this town without being proselytized oh yeah it's happening it every single person that what is it with uber drivers and being a christian and wanting to listen to christian radio which i can understand maybe being a christian maybe i cannot understand thinking that music is what you should be listening to. Oh, yeah. Joy 97 or whatever it is. I mean, do we have to listen to that? I hired you as an Uber.

Do I have to? But how awkward would it be to request? I say yes because. You could request to turn off the music or to change it, but man. I'm sorry. Oh, man. The other day I couldn't hold back. This guy picked us up in an Uber, was driving us home, me

and Chris, and he was talking about how... Oh, I was talking about the name of my tour and how I wanted to call it the Depression Eras. And he was like, well, we're about to hit another depression, so that'll be perfect. And I go, oh, really? And he was like, yeah, if I were you, I'd put all your money in

this kind of Bitcoin and whatever it is. He was telling us about not your Ethereum, but but other things and he was like it's gonna crash did you listen to this podcast yet did you listen to this and we couldn't both chris and i could not glean what side of things he was on because he said the banks want the big the big mean orange man out we need to get the big the banks want the orange man out. That means he's definitely a Trumper. And I go, and that's, I did not know that. I didn't know that. So I was like, okay, well, this guy's kind of a cuckoo, but like, at least he's on maybe the right side of things.

I can't really tell. But then he said something to the effect of, um, what did he say that gave it away? And he goes, oh, that's, you know, he just eventually said, that's why we got to get, we got to get Trump in and i go yeah i go i just want to be able to get an abortion though you know oh shit chris oh no chris just looked at me like are you really doing this and i go yeah what did he he said listen you don't need to get an abortion because there's the there's the the pill that you could the the morning after pill and no christians should have any problem with the morning after pill and i go

well how are um we're driving through a bad neighborhood i go how are women in this neighborhood supposed to afford the morning after pill on the chance they might get pregnant by the guy that they were maybe raped by last night when they don't have 50 to spare where is that he's like well we need to subsidize it we need to have the morning after pill in schools. And I go, do you think that's going to happen at any point? Do you think? I go, and then that's when I lost the thread. I couldn't really,

this guy was actually kind of smarter than me. He was cuckoo smart. He was like, you know, he's just, he was a smart guy, but like, you know, there's lots of smart guys that want to vote for Trump for some reason, but he was talking to me in a way I couldn't understand. but then that's when chris because he reads up on the stuff he fucking said and he schooled this guy on i can't even remember but i was like so horny for it because he really went to bat for women with this guy and why that doesn't work

how why the morning after pill isn't going to be the right option. Why teaching abstinence in schools and everything. And I can speak to those things, but he really, he, when we got out of the Uber, I was like, this guy thinks that, and he,

Oh, he also called himself a bestselling author. And he pointed at a book that was about driving Uber and, and obviously prostitutes. Every Uber driver is a secret billionaire. That's, that's what I've learned. Every Uber driver owns 10 businesses.

He's like, yeah, I just do this to meet people. Every Uber driver says that. That is... In St. Louis, though, it's really bad. I can't avoid it. Chris is like, you should just get a driver because this is too much. We get talked to about Jesus every time.

But when we got out out the Uber driver was like I didn't hate the guy he was really a nice person and I could just tell he thought I wasn't going to tip him well but you damn right I did 25% whatever the most was 30 25 I just I did it and I

you got to check what he rated you I don't know that I can. Can you check what certain people rated you as? I don't like to look at that. It's not good. And I don't know why it's not good. I'd always tip well. I've never once not tipped well.

I think maybe once I didn't give a tip, because I felt my life was threatened. But I've never once tipped a shitty Uber. Well, you're a target. That's not fair. And the other day, I spilled coffee in a guy's car, like just on the plastic part. And I told him about it.

I said, I'm so sorry. I can go get some napkins. He's like, don't worry about it. So I always let someone know if I've stained something. If I eat food, I brush it off when I get out. I leave the car as immaculate as I left, not because of my score, but because I respect the person. So I don't want to look at my score. It has nothing to do with how I know I behave in

Ubers. So she doesn't want to look at her score. I don't want to look at that thing. The last time I looked, it wasn't good. People go, what? And I go, I take thousands of Ubers. You take five, and you've been a good, you know, that's different. You've been good all five. Yes. Alright, we gotta wrap. We'll be back tomorrow for more show with my mom right

after this. And don't be cut and come see me in Florida come see Brian in Florida next weekend the I think 18th and 19th 19th and 20th probably 19th and 20th

and 19th and 20th okay thank you don't be cut and listen to the tomorrow show it'll be us in five minutes when we record it

John Stewart is back in the host chair Just listen to the Tomorrow Show. It'll be us in five minutes when we record it. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.