The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #414 A Circle of Friends w/ Kelsey Cook!

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

When the opportunity arises to catch up with a friend, you've gotta take it! Nikki & Brian are joined by comedian Kelsey Cook while on the road for her Mark Your Territory Tour. The trio discusses what it takes to record a comedy special, how Kelsey got together with Chad Daniels, meeting step kids for the first time, aging parents, and how to make friends in a new town. In the Final Thought, they conclude that it's okay to make mistakes because no one will remember you anyway. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki Hello, here I am, it's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Welcome to the show My voice coming out of the gate, not great I have been singing all day I have to say I was in the recording studio So my voice is a little shot

But I really tried to get, like You could hear a crack on that Not to brag or anything but i you know wrote and recorded a song this week and it's the first time i ever did it and it's gonna be fucking good and you're not supposed to like say something's gonna be good before like you're supposed to undersell it but i really think this is gonna be good and i think you guys are gonna like it so um i'm just putting that out there um yeah i wrote a pop song brian frangie's here noah is here and we have a special guest a friend who I've known for so many years.

And it has been actually over a year, probably a couple of years since we've like really connected. So I'm so excited to have her here. She's so funny. She is so cool. And she has a new special tape or she's taping a new special

April 6th in Madison, Wisconsin. And we're going to find out where in just a second because I did not get that detail. It kelsey cook hello hi guys how are you thank you for having me oh my god thanks for being here this is the beauty of having a podcast is that you get a text from your producer being like would you like to have on comedian kelsey cook and like all this information about you i'm like yeah she's my friend of course i would it's just yeah i was like oh my god of course i haven't talked to her in so long and this will be a great way for us to to catch up because i've been watching you from afar but we just um i think our last conversation was like during covid we talked for like an hour on the

phone am i remembering that correctly yes we talked uh during, during all of the insanity. And then shortly after that, my whole life completely changed. I moved from LA to Spokane, Washington. And I was living there for two years. And we don't have to get in. Whoa, I didn't know you were there. Whoa. And that's where you're from, right? That's where I'm from.

I think you were living in St. Louis already at that point? Yep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was already in deep in my hometown. Yeah. Still there. Yes.

We just went to Spokane. Yeah. We were in Spokane in December. We were at a casino that was hidden in a military base or something. That sounds right. That sounds like that all checks out for Spokane. Yeah. Yeah. base or something that all checks out for spokane uh yeah yeah you were such a pioneer in the leaving la or new york during that time and having a better life for it i think just being yeah did

you did you discover that when you moved back was it was it better for you yeah it it was better in ways and harder in certain ways um we don't have to get super into it because it's dark but um a few weeks after i moved back home my mom went into the hospital and ended up staying in there for five months and was diagnosed with dementia while she was in there and so oh jesus yes i'm so sorry thank you so the two years that i was there were like the lowest lows of going through all of that um and then i also it was so random because you know a lot of people had started to post more and more content on their social media during the pandemic. And I got seen by an agent at CAA while I was living in Spokane, and ended up being signed by them. And then they booked out this whole massive tour. So it was, yeah, like, such lows, personally. And then things with my career started to get really

busy. And it was it was just like a weird couple of years of uh a lot of things happening but yeah well i'm glad you had some good in there as well because that's the way it always goes you can't have all your pillars good at the same time oh yeah in order to have one up you need to have one down brian has this pillars theory of life i don't even think you brought it up on the podcast yet Like but what are the pillars of life That you need to I'll have to review because I'm not going to be able to deliver This quickly because I forget

So I'll review my pillars and bring it back in a future episode But the point is I feel like there's a balance And like in order for ups to happen There needs to be downs I feel like it never is all working out at the same time Yeah I agree Yeah some people it seems to Maybe I just don't know what's really going on in their personal life but no um was it was it hard to celebrate those highs or were you was it a huge

relief was there like a guilt associated with it was there uh okay i can get out of here what what was the feeling when the good news came yeah that, that's such a great question. I feel like this whole... So my mom's now had dementia for three years. And it has been so interesting that when something good in my life happens, I do have, of course, that moment of like, oh, yay, this is so exciting. And then there's also now this sadness of wishing I could tell my mom and that she would know what it means for whatever I'm sharing. Because she's always been like biggest fan,

biggest supporter. So yeah, it's- Fuck. It's so hard. So how quickly did she get past the point of being able to understand something like that and celebrate it with you in a way that would mean something to you? So in that time that she was in the hospital, at one point they thought she had six weeks left to live. Like she had become catatonic. Jesus. Yeah. And then she kind of miraculously pulled through that, got out of the hospital.

But I mean, has been like on and off of hospice for three years. So. Damn. Dementia. I didn't know anything about dementia until for getting diagnosed with it. But it's so not linear. It's not like, oh, you can like see exactly going down it's like some days it takes a nosedive and you feel like you're not gonna get any portion of that person back and then they'll

kind of you know come back in ways so i would say it's been probably like a year that like in this past year has been a lot less of her being able to really know what i'm talking about right right so it comes and goes there's like signs of it at first and then she'll remember the next like it's yeah it's all it's bouncing all over the place yeah it's it's just yikes yeah i'm sorry girl it's like mario lopez's career you think it's gonna go brian and then all of a sudden it's back it's not going it's not going anywhere it goes up it has ups and downs but it's it's not it's not gonna go away yeah he's not going away unfortunately dementia doesn't go away i know that's so i would have never made a mario lopez career correlation

to my mom that's what brian's here for right that's a specific skill and you know what that's so i would have never made a mario lopez career correlation to my mom that's what brian's here for right that's a specific skill set and you know what that's what like obviously i was about to ask you because i have a friend whose uh parent is going through the same thing he's a comedian and i'm like the way he talks about there's like some really funny shit that's happening with dementia because it's someone who's like blackout drunk all the time and got like kind of like operating like there's there's got to be there's humor within it because it's it's so tragic how what what really else can you get from it except all the sadness you got to be there's got to be moments of like his dad like

put a hair dryer in the the microwave and like won't stop trying to do that like he has to cook this hair dryer like why does he need to do this like there's this urgency about it and they can't leave him alone because that will a hundred percent happen right and there and i remember being like you got to talk about this on stage he's like people don't laugh when i talk about it and i go oh it's because you it's too sad to you still it's also so horrifying you know that is ever no one wants like my worst fear yeah it's looming for all of us and all of our loved ones it's like the thing you don't like you were thinking saying you you didn't know much about dementia before like lots of our parents are gonna get it and

we all are like blinders till it happens because what am i supposed to do like start reading about it now and getting depressed before it happens? Like you got to get blindsided so you protect your fucking sanity until it happens. Oh, yeah. I mean, you'll stop sleeping if it's something you're afraid of all the time because it is. Yes. Truly such a nightmare. But I see about your friend who is going through it and has these things that still seem too dark to talk about on stage. So I felt that way for a while.

Like I, I barely talked about, um, what was going on with my mom publicly for the first couple of years of it, just because I, I didn't know how much I wanted to share. And, um,

and then I started to talk about certain parts of it on stage. And now it's like the last, maybe like third of my hour that i'm about to tape oh that's so exciting yeah and i but it's yeah it's at that place and now i do have people who come up after shows who do have family members with dementia or have lost a family member to dementia that are like thank you so much for talking about this yeah because it i feel like i'm still honoring her to talk about it because I'm saying like she has dementia but she is so smart and funny that even with dementia she's still so

crafty and like sharing these things that she'll say and do and yeah I mean I just think there's a way that you can talk about it that's healing for you and is still respectful to them so yes i and that's such a balance because yes it's there is a way to really throw them under the bus if you want to and and and not handle it with care and that's probably what makes you uh nervous to even talk about it and when i said it it's exciting that felt like the wrong word but what i'm talking about is like when you have this breakthrough when you're struggling with a topic that you're like, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to talk about this. I wish I could, but literally I don't think there's ever going to be a chance. And now it's a third of your fucking new hour.

That's like this. That means that you have found a way to make it really not only personal, um universal and that like people are and you're it's how exciting to be talking about something that kind of feels taboo and being able to make it such a huge chunk of your set i'm so excited to see this material thank you yeah oh my god i oh sorry go ahead no i mean i want to i want to see some i even i like i i savored a clip i saw of yours yesterday because it was some crowd work you were doing with someone who knew your, who knows your,

is a fan of your boyfriends, Chad Daniels, who is an amazing comedian. And I haven't really, I haven't talked to you since you guys got together and he, I I've known him for years. So it was like these two people from my two separate worlds coming together, not to make it about me,

but it's just, when you find out two of your friends have found each other, you're like, Oh my God, that makes so much sense it's so exciting i'm so excited about chad but that that clip was so funny of this woman um at the club being like i know your boyfriend and being like i'm i'm a huge fan and you're like easy lady and i'll save what kelsey does but kelsey has a really hilarious physical moment that she like it was a real it was just so quick and so sharp you got to go watch that clip uh kelsey cook comedy on instagram um how did you in chat well i guess we have to go to break soon but i

just want to get into the chat of it i love talking about relationships and that is what a bright spot that has seemed to be just from me watching, like stalking you guys on Instagram and projecting my own assumptions about your relationship onto you. It seems perfect. It seems ideal. You're both so funny. Tell me it's as good as it looks. How long have you guys been together? We've been together for about a year and a half now.

And we started a podcast together recently, which. Yeah, that's commitment. That's that's good that's like that's like bigger we bought getting a dog yeah we bought a house together uh oh well okay i feel like the podcast is an even bigger like you could privately sell a house you can't privately end the podcast if this goes that's such a good wrong like there will have to be a public explanation oh yeah you guys will have custody of the podcast take turns hosting it yeah that's um that's what's the podcast called and when did when did it already start so it's called pretend problems and uh there are 10 episodes out so far so the videos are on but the audio is on all podcast platforms. But awesome. Yeah.

So we're being pretty open about the problems that we've gone through. And then we take listener questions and try to give advice. As a couple or in your like individually as a couple. Oh, that's that's what I like. That's what I wanted to do with my boyfriend. But I was too scared because it would it would turn into like a fight. Like I was scared I would lose control of it and it would become not fun to listen to and there would be too many stop downs of like we can't air this like there have been moments like that with you guys where you're like can we air this like this is getting heated we were

learning that it's better for like if we do want to get into something that was and like an actual hard thing to talk about in the moment that we have to let it be completely cooled off before we talk about it on the podcast. So we had talked through an argument that we had that in like, what it was about was so stupid and silly, which are, you know, 99% of relationship fights, I feel like you tell me what it was about. Do you remember silly, which are, you know, 99% of relationship. Right. I feel like you tell me what it was about. Do you remember this one?

Yeah, we were, we were walking to our car in a parking garage and Chad is just like, he just becomes Jason Bourne in public where he just like, feels like he knows the most efficient way to do everything. Transportation wise, but he doesn't communicate that with the people around him. And so I'm like, and I'm very like, I the people around him and so i'm like and i'm very like i have like my hood up i'm like i don't even know where i'm walking i'm just

in another world yeah you're just blindly following him yeah and so and he's parkouring truly yeah so he felt like i was in the way of a car coming and he kind of tried to like shepherd me like out of the way but in that moment it felt like um i don't know i mean he's he is older than me and i think i felt like that that girl feeling of like i can do it like i don't need you to like tell me like where to walk or whatever and uh and then i kind of shut down for a few minutes which is his, like hates a silent treatment. Yeah. I wasn't trying to give a silent treatment.

I'm more like, I want to take a few minutes to think before I talk. And those two are so like, so relatable. That's the problem. Everyone that does the silent treatment most of the time isn't trying to, they're just like, that's their,

we're processing shit. And the people that hate the silent treatment or being given it have no idea what that is like i find that me like i hate the silent treatment too and when i get it i'm just like just get over it now like you know i didn't mean to you know i didn't mean to make you feel like a child do you understand that okay yes now let's go back to being happy. Like I said, sorry. And they usually need to like process it, which is totally fine. But man, those butthead, I relate to that so much. Okay, so you're sulking a little bit.

Like you're just like piecing it together, but you're a little quiet. Yeah, I'm just trying to cool off a little bit before saying things that are like a bigger feeling than i actually feel and uh yeah he just was like well okay like i guess today's ruin like he immediately then feels so like well i guess this is this whole thing now so he would rather say how he feels right then and then apologize later and i would rather wait and not have to apologize but it's just like these are the yeah exactly yours doesn't ever come yes

you guys all just go off and you you mull it over and you make peace with yourself but like we don't it yes that is that's so interesting and how many times i have said i guess the day's ruined because I did some little thing and he needs three seconds to fucking just come out of his funk where he thought I was doing the mean thing or whatever. And man, it's, it's,

I've been through that a million times. That's so funny. Oh, I know. Which is, it's so nice to hear someone else does it. Yeah, I mean, we're, how you're saying that you were afraid to do it with your boyfriend because you're like, oh god is this gonna be like too rocky there are times where we end the episode we're like oh fuck should we be showing people just that we don't

know really what our relationship looks like like if we do have a bad day or whatever but it has been so nice to get comments from people like oh my god thank you and now we feel so much less alone if we're having a similar fight so i think it's nice you do see too many instagram versions of couples and then i think you feel extra like shit if you have a bad day with your partner because you're like well i guess we're yes fucking doomed and it's like no it's everyone's like rational and thoughtful and remorseful and just, you know, full of gratitude for their partner.

Even when they're like talking about tough times, they always like talk about the most healthy way in which they handled it. Like at least the stuff I'm being sold is like partners just being super empathetic towards each other and being like, and maybe admitting they did wrong, but it just, even the bad seems good. That's the illusion of Instagram.

Like even the things that are like, this is my real acne. And you're like, well, fuck you. That's just even the bad seems good that's the illusion of instagram like even the things that are like this is my real acne and you're like well fuck you that's not even that bad or like look at my cellulite and you're like that that's okay wow well i guess you're showing me your worst i'm still feeling now i feel bad about myself because it's not as bad as my worst um yeah even the bad stuff is curated so that's that's nice and i mean that's what we're i think that's what we are as uh comedians better at than um pretty much everyone else is just be saying humiliating things or being really vulnerable in a way that most other people would be like you can't put that out and we're just like i don't know it's fine as long as it was funny the clip that you were talking about with the woman in the crowd who's like a super fan of dads yeah and i mean we talked about that on the podcast because that blew up online into

this whole i had i mean it has like over 12 million views on tiktok and a couple things like it went so much crazier than i expected it to and then you do have people like oh shit like what's he doing like what's what's going on girl like can you trust him and i'm like are you kidding me it's so funny people are so weird yeah it's it's and you know what men are such pieces of shit like so many women are dealing with just horrible men that the assumption that there's anything shady going on with your that fan and chad from your clip makes me realize there's a real there's a problem of like cheating and just shittiness going on if that's the first reaction someone has yeah but it kind of yeah that's what you see like i tiktok comments i mean

they've got to be the worst right like i don't i'm not on tiktok but i hear that's the those are the worst ones they're up there with youtube i made the mistake of re-downloading Twitter to post the video because somebody else had posted it. And they didn't tag me, of course. And I got like 6 million views. Of course. That's always how that goes. And I looked at the comments there and I was like, ooh, these people are truly the... Twitter?

Yeah. The most... Twitter's the worst. YouTube's actually not so bad these days. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I didn't even know. I don't even think about it anymore, but yeah, I'm guessing

and Threads, how did they take it? I'm just kidding. For Threads, I joined when everybody said you should join and I've posted four times. I haven't done anything. That's everybody. Yeah.

Threads is a disaster. But everyone's really nice on threads. If you post on threads, generally they're like, thank you for being here. All right. Yeah. That would, that, um, how did you guys, um, oh, should we go to break? No. Are you saying honey?

Yeah. Let's go to break. Cause I want to hear about the genesis of your relationship with comedian Chan Daniels because two comedians dating, I always wanted the scoop and I haven't had it yet. So we'll cover that when I get back if she wants to. Of course. Yeah.

We'll see. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily show ears edition podcast the daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alright, we're back with Kelsey Cook. You can follow her on Instagram, Kelsey Cook Comedy. And she has a special called The Hustler that is out on YouTube now. And then you can go see her tape her new hour, April 6th in Madison, Wisconsin.

Where are you taping that? Comedy on State. Comedy on State. Oh, my God. The greatest comedy club in the country. I've never performed there. It's just kind of wild to shoot the first time going there. But everybody has said it's so good that I feel like it's going to.

Oh, that place. God, man. That place is you, girl. That place is like i i'm being there it's like oh my god the the kind of comedy you do is gonna fucking kill there like really just great jokes uh bombastic like like just interactive like it's the perfect place for that and it's such a good energy it's such a good place as you well know from like every comedian that talks about it it really is is to be amazing.

So April 6th, get tickets to go see that. So yeah, your boyfriend is one of the funniest comedians that every comedian cites as their favorite comedian. Chad Daniels, he's been around forever. You said older than you. You obviously knew about him before. How did you guys end up being together? You're a super fan yeah i am did you go to one of his shows and yell at him and yeah were you a super fan everyone well every

comedian that knows anything knows chad daniels is one of the best so it's like you you had to have been a fan yeah you went to his girlfriend's show and yelled at her i think he's the biggest super fan i bought a house with the man That's like the creepiest thing you can do As a fan The first time I had heard of him actually I was on my way to the airport And my Lyft driver was playing his album Wow

And I had heard his name before just through comedy But I hadn't ever listened to his stuff And this Lyft driver and I Ended up bonding the whole ride Because we were both just dying laughing at his album. How long did you guys date? Really, really started a great relationship with him. But no, it was so mind-blowing to me how I just could not stop laughing out loud that whole ride.

It was so funny. And then I had chat on my web series, Wrist of Fury. I had a foosball web series on YouTube for a few years. Oh yeah. So the first time we met is actually on YouTube. Like you can watch us. Whoa,

that's so cool. Yeah. So it's fun to. If I watch it, am I going to be like, oh my God, there's so many signs. These two are like crushing.

You could definitely see like some chemistry, I think. Yeah. But I was married at the time and he was in a relationship. Oh, so I'm sure there's none. Well, oh no. But you know what's so funny is like, we were, I feel like having like a really fun, good time on camera. But like when the camera was off, I thought that Chad like hated I thought that he because he was

trying to be really respectful to his girlfriend and to my husband and so I mean that day I was like kind of sad so I was like oh god I think he's so funny but like I don't even think he likes me as a person like i really felt like nothing whatever you know that's happened so often when you like i know that it's happened to me a bunch and not even because i'm trying to respect someone in a relationship and and this is this could if you're in a relationship you what you happen to like have feelings for someone else like it happens to people it's not a bad thing if you catch feelings while you're in a relationship, let's just like get over that first and foremost, you can't help what you feel.

But like when I like someone or even like I, I go the opposite way because I don't want them to know. And I don't want, I don't want myself to even recognize it, especially if I'm with someone I like don't want to acknowledge it. So I go the other way and I'm like, instead of being a neutral person, that's just friendly. a bitch yeah i overcompensate into like yeah i turn into like kind of mean and yeah i overcompensate because i'm so scared of letting in that feeling

and i can't let them know and so a lot of times guys have been that i like to have been like she hates me including my boyfriend chris like was about to quit my show that he was working on when I was in love with them before we got together. And he was going to quit because or like look for other work because he's like, the host hates me. She doesn't look at me. She doesn't talk to me. And it was really, I mean, I probably could be like get me too for this. But like I was mean to him because I liked him. I wasn't trying to be, but I was not a good boss because I liked him so much. And't i wasn't trying to be but i was not a good boss because i liked him so much and i couldn't let him see that because it was too

vulnerable but um that's really funny that i love like going back and being like you were so weird that first day like so when did it when did you guys reconnect like when were you both single again you you you got a divorce i mean god damn, you've been through a lot. Yeah, 2020. 2020 was a lot. And then I moved to Spokane feeling like, okay, I'm going to move home. I'm going to have kind of a fresh start. 2021 is going to be great. And literally three weeks after I moved home, my mom went to the hospital.

So it was just like, it was a lot of hard stuff. Can you say why she went to the hospital the first time so she went and i i actually i found her on her floor called 911 and she had a perforated stomach ulcer her gallbladder was full of stones and she had covid so she was like almost septic oh my god triple threat yeah they did emergency surgery And when she came out of surgery She was a completely different person Because she had underlying dementia And we didn't realize An anesthesia can accelerate dementia Oh no

Oh it like lets it out Fuck God Kelsey shit Why? They were not at this time Was your mom did you have like a stepdad or is she dating anyone or it's just you do you have brother do you have siblings helping i have a younger brother but he's he's almost six years younger than me and um you know lived out of state had a baby on the way so this was a lot on yeah i was there with her in the hospital every day for five

months basically it was like during covid hospital like weird times yeah when she came out of the surgery i mean she for a long time thought she had time traveled because it was like everybody in these like giant hazmat suits around her like it was so disorienting for her oh yeah she didn't have dementia she was just confused why i mean god damn it i can't believe anesthesia can accelerate it that's just horrifying i know i i know um so yeah i know nikki, we haven't really talked in so long. And I just was like. Yeah, there's a lot.

Fucking hate dementia. But I've just seen the highlights. I've seen you just like, you know, just blow up online and then have this relationship. So, I thought everything was, you know. That's Instagram. That's social media. You think she's just living a high life. Getting all these followers,ing, getting a new boyfriend

Little do you know She's getting divorced And her mom's in hospice Yeah We really can have it all I started to post more about my mom In the last maybe year or so Because it was nice to feel more of a connection to people online who

were going through something similar. But it also just felt like it felt so weird to not show this entire part of my life that was happening. Yeah. And I don't know, for a long time, I just felt like I don't know if she would want me to be like posting about this. But you do like you do get to a point where you're like, okay, it's been years now. She also would want people who love her who maybe don't know that this is happening to know about it. But anyway,

that was... I'm going out to dinner with my parents tonight. I'm going to ask them when their mind starts to go if it's okay if I post. I'm going to get their permission because I'll be tempted to want to and they'll probably say say no and then i can't so i probably shouldn't ask and just ask for permission later um but no but but it's it is important to show that part of it sucks when you have as a comedian and as someone who has you have two podcasts and you have you

you're on stage every night and you just you want to be able to share every facet of your life and i don't think most people have private parts of their life but it's really sucks when you got to make one as a comedian a major one that is influencing every way you see the world now you can't say why this might be your overall tone about other things like the underlying thing you want to be able to get it all out so that's really good that you can now i I felt the same way. I felt the same way about my mattress. I mean, it was so long. I was wondering whether I should share my mattress journey with the people. And we really regret that you did.

I think it was too soon. But the outpouring of negativity that came was inspiring. Kelsey, how did you and Chad start talking again? When did that happen it was a little bit of a felt like a kind of a jim and pam thing for a while after that where um like kind of one of us would reach out and be like hey how are you doing and the other person would be in a relationship and then that person would be out of the relationship and reach out to them and then they would be in a relationship and so yeah it you know and like I said that first time I met him I really was like oh I don't even

think he likes me as a person he was so stone-faced and it's funny now because even the first I don't know good chunk of our relationship in the beginning he was so hard to read because he just was so terrified to get hurt he had all of these balls up but we would go on dates and i would be like i'm having fun are you having fun because he would just we'd be like mini golfing and he would just have like he'd be so nervous that he has to like turn it off yeah like no expression on his face and and you knew there was more to this guy because you can see his comedy like if there weren't ways for you to watch him on podcasts and watch him on youtube like you know this guy the guy that you are attracted to is lurking somewhere underneath all of this it's like why can't you be like this around me when like

eventually obviously that edifice like fell away and you were able to like get to that but how many dates did it take how long before i mean why is he so nervous because we were long distance for the first you know oh yes you're starting over every time kind of oh um but yeah i mean he and he's opened up about it on the podcast, but just really, really felt so strongly about me, which is so sweet, I think for sure that I wasn't going to hurt him or that it was going to work out. But yeah, it took a long time and a lot, it just, it went slower than any relationship I've ever been. Interesting. And then now it's working. And he has kids, right? And how long did it take you before you met them? So I met. And was that so, I would be so nervous because they're like teens right they're like teen girls so uh he has a 24 year old son and a 19 year old daughter oh yeah so they're beyond team yeah yeah at least one of

that that's a lot that's so like they're like closer to your age like it's like that's that's my like dream because you kind of like they're not they're over that stage where they're like you're not my real mom so it's like there's not that pressure that you're filling the shoes of this person who like they don't even live with their dad anymore so it's not like they but it's also like they're they're adults so they might like roll their eyes at you a little bit more like what what was your feeling going into that yeah how'd that go so his son was a little bit easier to connect with initially but not necessarily to connect with but just like I felt

like he accepted me a little bit more quickly he and his daughter are very close and they I think have been able to spend a lot of time just the two of them hanging out. And so for me to come into the picture, I think felt like it disrupted her, her typical quality time with her dad. And I think it's, I mean, I talked about this a little bit on stage. I wanted her to like me so badly initially, but it, that has to be so weird for somebody in her position to try to like me because i'm posting jokes online about like blowing her dad and oh god that's no truly like yeah that would be weird it's the worst nightmare a 19 year old is like oh yeah fuck yeah like welcome to thanksgiving any 19 year old no like totally you know what i mean i would feel so what's disgusting if my stepmom talked about that we're porn kelsey we're porn stars like we're we're doing we we're making jokes but some of the stuff we describe if you close your eyes it's porn for the blind like there's no dip like we're

describing a very intimate sexual act sometimes in graphic detail and yeah you're that's that's the word i would first of all i would hate you already because you're like pretty, you're a stepdad. That's the worst. I would, first of all, I would hate you already because you're like pretty and you're young and like you're taking time away. Like my dad, I was number one for my dad now. And it seems like he's like kind of splitting number one with someone else. Like, I don't want to share it.

Like we can all relate to that feeling. Not all of us, but if you have a good relationship with your dad, like I can, I would hate it. I would have, but I wanted, I wanted, secretly wanted my parents to divorce when i was little because i wanted to hate a stepmom it looked so fun like on um you know freaky friday or uh no parent trap like i wanted to like put frogs in someone's uh sleeping bag and like i don't know like put nair in her shampoo and have her be like yeah i think that's

from the craft that was a little bit worse but i just wanted to like terrorize a woman and hate her and and because i can't talk to my mom that way i can't be like fuck you but like you feel like you could say fuck you to like your dad's new girlfriend you know and i just wanted to shout like you're not my real mom at someone and sadly for me they stayed together oh god but um but yeah that is do when your your parents are divorced did you did you have to meet a new dad's girlfriend type thing had you been on that side of things before oh yeah my my stepmom was in the picture early on and uh she was very different from my mom a little too early on a little too early on like before i was trying to before things even went down i was trying to be careful about how i talk about it on podcast because i was like too open one time and it was uh they didn't appreciate it comes back to get you okay but yes uh yeah they just, very different households between my dad and stepmom's house and my mom's.

You know, growing up, like my dad's house became very strict. It was like a little Handmaid's Tale sort of a vibe. And so I had a lot of resentment toward my stepmom and my dad when I was younger. And so the way that if his daughter feels negatively toward me i'm always like i get it i like i've been such an unnatural thing like you don't think you're rooting for your parents to like fuck until they're fucking somebody else that isn't your mom and then you're like who is this like i don't like this this isn't yes oh you mean you don't realize that you're rooting for your parents to fuck each other until they're fucking someone else yes yes yeah you're always

like grossed out by that initially but then when they're totally in somebody else you're like oh i don't want them to sleep with these other who are these people it's so much grosser brian you dealt with it too were you was their initial like oh who's this woman i hate her feelings um well my stepdad was the first person in the picture and he he was great i mean i never got to say you're not my real dad i just uh he was an amazing guy and he was just an amazing guy an amazing stepdad and he was like a second dad to me and my brother and my my half sister and um i was just very pleased that's great i was just very pleased the whole time yeah i think i would have eventually gotten used to it but at first it would have been uh it'd be very hard um but yeah

that's there is a part of me that dreams of being like, I don't know if I'm going to be a mom someday, but I would be like, I think I'd be a pretty good step mom. I think I would be like, you're saying empathetic about how this isn't easy and all those things. There's a part of me that's like holding on for that. Like, I don't know what could happen. Like maybe that's what I'll do in the future. Um, but yeah, that's, um, what, what is it? So where are you right now?

I can tell you're on the road because you're in the classic Hotel room set up Yeah I am in Tacoma right now Yes the comedy club Spokane of the west Of the west yes So which I love this club so much It's actually my home club I was a house

Empty there like 12 years ago So it's so fun to come and do it now But Are you staying in the hotel that celebrates all the glass artists in town you know there's some is that is tacoma the one that's like the town of glass or is that that's maybe i think it's the glass museum or something like that there's some oh and in tacoma is where um they filmed that scene in 10 Things I Hate About You. The house is so close to here. You know what?

I have a rental car. I should do that tomorrow. I've always. You should go to the football field where there's like, you know, the grandstand, like the stands where he does that. I love you, baby. And it's Heath Ledger running up and down. Like, it's so iconic and it's such a cool

looking thing and i went there when i was in spokane years ago i went to go look at it i ran over there and there were these two other women there and we were just kind of like looking at each other like are you here because 10 things i hate about you and they're like yeah i am too and we're like oh this is so random like you know 23 years later after that movie and um and i've remained for those women were like what do you do and i was like i have a show tonight you want to come so they came to that show and they have come to every single show in that area for like the last eight years or whenever however long that was but i made friends that day but yeah that's a cool one to go see i'm not someone

who's like you gotta go do it but if you have a car you might as well thank you for reminding me i mean that is one of my all-time favorite movies. And I've looked it up on Google Maps before and made a mental note. But I forgot until I'm back here now that I should do it. Yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, we're going to go to break and come back right after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

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So, Kelsey, you and your boyfriend, you moved to, where does he live? We live in Minneapolis now. Yeahapolis now yeah so wow i've never done that how's that before to move yeah but to to minnesota of all places like anytime like well you must really fucking love him because that is a butthole do you have anybody out there any friends or i i was the closest person and I shouldn't say it's it is nice now I do really like it it's not a butthole but I moved there in January last year it's

brutal it's like negative 25 you can ice fish yeah and you're on the road so much it's like probably hard to get friends like you're serious when you say you don't have do you have like girlfriends that you've met on your own like it's hard to meet friends like you're serious when you say you don't have do you have like girlfriends that you've met on your own and like it's hard to meet friends as an adult in a new city how the

fuck do you do it i mean i'm sure you have friends that of his that you've met through him but yeah i've i mean are you going to art classes on monday nights like where are you gonna meet some chicks it's so hard uh i think it's hard just as an adult to make friends anyway, but this is an especially weird career to try to make friends. And because I'm gone all the time and I think it's just, I think it gets exceedingly hard to connect with people who aren't medians because your job and your lifestyle are so specific that to like start from scratch with a new friend who's just like, like works in a dental office.

You're kind of like, Oh, you're just a, honestly, I feel like a freak yeah like a little bit like you're just it's there's something elitist to being like it's hard for us to be friends with normal people but it's not even that i feel like like a night walker or something or i feel like a like i come from the sewer system or something like i feel feel like I live, I live in a different world where we talk about things differently. We communicate more honestly and openly. And like, that's why I'm drawn to autistic people right out the gate because they're like, they kind of operate on that honest level. Yes.

Um, I think maybe, but yeah, it feels hard for me to make friends locally, even though I know that I have so many people that listen to this podcast and they would be a great friend of mine and most of my girlfriends are not comedians to make new friends though i just feel like it takes unless i the only way i know i'm going to be friends with someone is if they're instantly like really fucking they share a weird thing or it's like and it can't just be like don't try to just come up to me and say something weird and think we're going to be best friends like it has to be like something there's just a moment where i just know you know and um it doesn't happen that often and then you have to nurture it and yeah you really have to like work on relations you know friendships like relationships you can't

just like meet someone and then like once every six months hang out with a new friend that's not gonna take off you gotta like see them frequently yes it's so hard and i completely agree with what you're saying me saying like oh it's hard to connect with somebody who's a dental hygienist isn't a dig on them it's like a dig on me no no they're horrible i mean have you ever tried being friends with one of them all they want to talk about is teeth it's like is there anything else going on i mean i yeah their son is doing hockey this fall winter and so they have to sign up for that there's things that are going on in those no yeah it's it's just a different what you're gonna have a hard time with in my uh theory on friends

my circle of friends is my theory on friends oh yeah he has another theory i have another theory this i know a little bit more offhand your core group is uh your second your third circle of friends and that's a group of people that you're friends with mostly because of proximity and so like when you're in a new place like um a new city like you move to minneapolis one of your primary goals if you're looking for friends is to find a core group and those are people that you can consistently hang out with in the city you live in. You may not be friends with those people if you moved out of Minneapolis. Some of them you could, some of them can move up,

but having a core group, I found usually it's four to six people that you can consistently do things with. What are you doing on 4th of July? Like shit like that. Okay, here's, I'm going to stop you. This isn't going to happen for Kelsey and it's not going to happen for me because we're on the road from Thursday through Sunday.

When we get home, we don't really want to hang out with anyone Monday through Thursday. We don't really, you got your boyfriend, you got maybe his kids coming in. Like that's enough. It's enough for four days with

the boyfriend and being alone you're not on the road every single most week yes she is forever weekends forever yes forever there'll be times when you take off there'll be times when i i'm taking off for the first time in fucking over a year and i'm going to australia for the whole goddamn time i'm not like hanging out in st louis when you when we have to any time off we go on vacation well that's fine it's you're right it's a special circumstance if you're never in the city then i guess you don't really live there i mean you have a home there that you go sleep in that's that's kind of feels true sometimes kelsey i'm sorry to say what i think you're experiencing does that resonate like when you're off the road like don't you just don't want to do

anything well and it's tough too because chad also is gone the same amount of time i am so we're in a long distance relationship still half of the week so then when we're home we're like trying to almost binge each other it feels, and like pack in quality time. And suits. Yes. But then if I'm home for a weekend and he's gone, that is the time where it feels desperate. That's when I'm like, fuck, like I really need. Nice to have a core group.

Yes. Like just, but I have started to hang out a little bit with, there are some comedians' girlfriends who live there. And that's like a little bit, even if they don't do comedy, they get that world. And that has been an easier friendship. So like local comedians in Minneapolis, they're girlfriends.

Yes. Yes. That'll do. That's the makings of a core group right there yeah you guys are gonna be playing pickleball in no time i'm going like i feel like most of you know yeah i feel like in st louis i don't have that many for i do like i have taylor and i have my my mom has turned into someone that i like to hang out with no kirsten lives in kansas city oh yeah most of my All my best friends are on

girls chat and we're talking constantly on there but face to face it's like I don't have a lot of that but tonight I am going on, I'm taking my parents to dinner and then we're going to see Tim Dillon's in town and I'm so fucking excited because he's literally my favorite comedian right now.

I consume everything he does and I just randomly, someone was like oh yeah and I'm going to see tim dillon my friend bobby j cox was asking me for tickets and i go sorry i want tickets now you told me he's in town and so i wrote tim and tim's like do you want to do a set and i'm like i guess like i i'm like man i gotta do a set tonight like i just wanted to like enjoy it but you can't turn it down because I it's it's a great audience to be in front of and I and I'm such a Tim Dillon and it's such an honor to even you know be on the stage share a stage with him so I'm doing it but like some nights you're just like man do I have to and all of a sudden I'm nervous and I'm like what am I gonna do and it's like you know a seven minute set but I am like what's the best material for

his crowd like I I never overthink this shit and i'm like oh man now i gotta perform but um when i'm done i'll be so excited to just watch comedy i'm so excited to go to a show tonight and uh and let loose because i rarely like go to shows i just started going recently do you get to watch many of chad's shows or do you ever go on the road with him if you're not working or vice versa well everything you just said is i relate to it so hard i went uh to a couple of his dates on the burt kreischer tour over the summer oh yeah and truly just went as like i just want to support i just want to watch this is such a cool opportunity and then we get there and it's literally 15 minutes before the show starts and burt's like you want

to open the show and i'm like oh damn because these are like i have to say yes don't i i do and arenas yes and i'm i'm so type a like i'm never cool about anything i can never just be like yeah sure fucking that'd be awesome i'm like okay and then i immediately like almost shit my pants had like IBS flare up and freaking out thinking the same thing well that fits right in on the Burt Kreischer tour that's his closer I think

that's oh that's so crazy dude that you got presented with that because those are I've done those shows they're not easy a lot of them are outdoors everyone's drunk and to open them like when it's still light outside They're not easy. A lot of them are outdoors. Everyone's drunk. To open them when it's still light outside, they're not... They're a tough crowd, I would say. There's thousands of them.

It's like 10,000 people sometimes. 15, 20... You've been even close to that big of a crowd before. Anyway, when you're just saying that you don't usually get nervous, but when it's somebody else's crowd, who they're not there to see you, but you're just saying that, like, you don't usually get nervous, but when it's somebody else's crowd. Who they're not there to see you, but you like.

Yeah, they're a great crowd, a great comic. You want to make an awesome impression. But yeah, I mean, of course, you can't say no. I didn't. You can't say no. I this is the thing about this great career that we have. These great opportunities come up. Like I got asked to go to Steve and Tyler's Grammy party party this weekend i had the weekend off my first weekend off in st louis

in forever and i had vocal cord surgery two years ago and it's the same surgeon that did steven's cord so he like told steven about me and somehow i got on some list i haven't even met steven tyler but i'm on some list where i got invited to this party. And I swear to God, it came in and I go, God damn it. Why did they like I have to go? You can't not go to a huge celebrity party during the Grammys where the Black Crows are playing. And there's like this celebrity auction. There's going to be all this shit. So I'm like flying in just for that.

But there's I think everyone can relate to like, like I'm going. But like, I wish they wouldn't have asked, even though it's so cool. Because it's just, you know, I hate having anxiety. I hate setting myself up to be nervous about something. But that's obviously why we got into this is because it gave us some sort of thrill to overcome a fear of speaking in front of people and doing this thing that's very scary and it's like we get high off of it. I did it because I was ordered by a court. The people need your help.

I'm almost done actually. People would rather do fucking anything than stand up. Can you imagine? That would really cut down on crime. If one of the punishments was having to perform stand-up comedy, I really think that would deter criminals because that is people's biggest fear is public speaking.

That's a really good idea, actually. Noah, if you were told that you had to do five minutes of stand-up comedy at an open mic for Tim Dillon's show In front of his fans You gotta do 40 hours of Comedy service I think I would kill myself Yeah And we do it voluntarily

Yeah it's 60 days in What a great career And it was so kind of Burt to offer And it ended up being amazing But yeah it's just It is so much pressure with so little notice Oh yeah, that's right. And it was, that was the kind of Bert to offer and it ended up being amazing. But yeah, it's just, it is so much pressure with so little notice. And Bert is the king of like, yeah, we'll just do it.

Like who gets, like, it'll be fine. He's just like, so like, yeah, like, you know, Bert is obviously, he's a very type A person too in many ways, but there's also on that tour, especially there's just this casual, casualness. And also, cause he's like the king of it you'd be like yeah run this part of my country who gives a shit like I'm the king it wouldn't seem like a big deal final thought it's also really

helpful when you are someone who gets so nervous about something to have it just like you don't get to think about it you don't have time you just have to fucking do it yeah it's good for you do you find that like it after the do you do you find that you're like oh i'm able to do it on the fly maybe i don't need to worry as much and does it help you not worry as much or you stick to how you are it has not stuck and it drives me crazy because i've like proven to

myself like several times in this career like you can do stuff under pressure you can do stuff with little warning and anytime an opportunity comes up that's high pressure i still psych myself out the entire time yeah that's it's just the natural thing to do i i agree i'm just like i want to just like start like i just recorded this song today. It's been all week. Like I was, I have a song that I'm putting at the end of my special and I couldn't afford to get a song that I like wanted. Cause they're like $30,000 and stuff.

So I was like, I'll just write a song. And I just like, kind of, I, as soon as I floated it, like, would anyone let me do that?

And they said, yes. I'm like, Oh no, I just, I just Bert Kreischer myself. I just Steven Tyler myself. Like I just gave myself an opportunity that I can't say no to now. Like if I say no, I just, I just Bert Kreischer myself. I just Steven Tyler myself. Like I just gave myself an opportunity that I can't say no to now. Like if I say no, then I'm foregoing this opportunity to

grow and challenge myself. So I did it. And I had a producer fly in and we booked out studio time and I had, I've never home Monday through Friday, but I was this week. And so wrote this song and recorded it. And my vocals, I'm just like, man, I'm just not, I'm not where I want to be vocally to really nail this the way I want to nail it, and part of me is like, well, then you should wait, like, record the song later when you are trained vocally to be good enough,

and then another part of me is just like, write another fucking song, because I remember getting so many opportunities early on in my career, and knowing that I sucked, like, knowing I'm like, I'm three years into comedy, I shouldn't on last comic standing but what am i gonna say no to that yeah because i'm gonna be bad somebody trusted me to think i was good enough and not that

there's really there's the someone in this scenario is just my produce producer and my my friends being like no this sounds this is good this is good enough like this sounds great what are you talking about but it's just like you just gotta go like you know what i'm just gonna do my best that i can do right now and there's something to glean from that like taylor swift does not sound vocally as strong in her first album at all at not even close to what she sounds like now now would we tell her you should wait till you're 33 well then we wouldn't have the taylor swift we have now if she waited till she was uh and she probably got vocally so much better within a

couple years of that album but she you gotta just you gotta just take some chances and throw some stuff out first and maybe not be as good as as you hope to be you know like not everything's gonna be at fucking 10 and sometimes you just gotta go well i don't have enough you gotta joe coy it i don't i only have 10 days to prepare but i'm gonna try my best and then i'm gonna blame it on the fact that sometimes it doesn't work out because if you look at the announcement it got announced on december 26 so that's actually 12 days before it happened and then you add into the fact that he probably got asked to do it a couple days before they announced it so he probably had like 14 days and that's just i'm just gonna add that to the the argument we don't need to go back and bring

up old stuff. But yeah, you can, and that is nice. You can blame it on it sometimes and be like, well. Some people release hour specials that aren't ready and then it hurts them. Like sometimes it's like you probably should have waited a little bit longer before you did your first hour. Yeah, but then you do not. Do you not do it?

I think so. Especially if you're just releasing it yourself on YouTube these days. Well, okay. That's different. If you're, if it's you, that's telling you,

you've got this, but if it's some fucking network that believes in you or someone that believes in you, like, shouldn't you just try? And then if you fail miserably go, you know what? Well,

I'm going to fucking, I'm going to Taylor Swift and I'm going to sing a little off key or whatever it was. I haven't even seen the performance at the grammys uh the first one she did she got panned for it and then i i'm gonna take them saying that i should that i'm a flash in the pan and that i am not as good as people thought i was and i really just i blew it on the biggest stage possible and i'm gonna fucking be i'm gonna train so hard i'm gonna get so good and i'm gonna come possible and i'm gonna fucking be i'm gonna train so hard i'm

gonna get so good and i'm gonna come back and i'm gonna win a grammy for a song i wrote about the fact that i was bad at one point um and you can do that like there's a way out even if you embarrass yourself so much there's always a way to come out if you're great no one people might say yes you used to be bad but like if you know what like if we're talking about the same comedian i'm thinking about that we might be talking about it who maybe got a chance too soon and released a special and everyone's like it's not as good as we all thought it would be that guy or girl but that guy can now go away and work so fucking hard and come back and be like oh you thought i was bad yeah maybe i was but like he has ample

opportunity to blow us all away at some point but he's not gonna and he's not gonna try and he's not taylor swift but he's not yes he yes he could there's taylor there's one taylor swift um and this guy is not that um but you know it's just i oh brian you just defeated my whole so you're thinking that like you should sometimes say no michael jordan did it michael jordan got cut from his high school basketball team and then he came back and became the greatest of all time he didn't get cut himself what i'm saying is like do you turn down the opportunity to a special right you feel you're not ready they asked michael jordan to be on the high school basketball team he declined he said i'm not ready i need to practice a little bit more and then he joined the bulls a few years later um have i declined things that i wasn't no of course not

you have to just go full hog into this shit and if you fuck up but the problem with that philosophy is that frequently i'd say more often than not you go you fuck up and you don't get another chance they you're just like they just brand you there's so many people who's but i would say i would say also if you try and then you or if you get asked to do something and you say no you'll never get asked again so there's like there's also that you it's it's at least you did something like uh you know uh my friend tim my boyfriend's brother was like you know they were on the tonight show and he's like that's the biggest thing i'll ever his band was on the tonight show in 2008 i think and now

he's comedian and the band you know plays a little here and there but that was like their big shot he's like that's the biggest thing i ever did and they like fucked up a chord like they played a different version of the song. It was like a thing. And I'm like, was, was that discouraging? He's like,

yeah, we kind of fumbled on the biggest thing we'll ever do, but it's like, it's still the biggest, it's still the tonight show. You can, no one's talking about the report. You can't take that away.

That person can always say I did a Netflix special in, and in 20 years, no one will know what the quality of that was. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just being able to say it you can put it on your tombstone yeah in 200 years they'll be dead and then in 2000 years no one will know any individual person that existed no one cares yes you walk down the hollywood walk of fame you like every third star you have no fucking clue who that woman is yeah yeah and then you try to

google it and it's like not even on google no google doesn't even know yeah no one knows and she was she was angelina jolie at some point yeah she was the biggest star of her time your grandmother like you know was obsessed with her and knew all about who she was dating like but we don't we don't care at all and this is like this happens within 20 years yeah so it all doesn't really matter but then it all matters so now think about like ancient egypt and they're like people who are really popular in ancient egypt that everybody knew well we're still we're still talking about cleopatra and king tut yeah all you know about are kings that's all you do really know about is Kings.

Important politicians is what we know about throughout history. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. I'm just, I always get to this point where I'm just like, you get so jealous of someone's success or you get so discouraged about your own or whatever.

And then there's the other, the other side of the coin, which is like, we'll all be forgotten and none of this matters. And their life probably isn't as good as what you think. Like, which is it? I really can't decide which it is. I thought everything was so fucking awesome the last few years.

And it's like, truly, nobody can ever know unless they are really going vlog style on their life and showing you like crying from your hotel room. And then no one really wants to see that and they like like one post about it and they're like you're so vulnerable thank you and then it becomes too much and then you become kind of crazy and yeah um i think there's only so much suffering someone can witness before they're like i'm sick of this yeah it's it's such a it's impossible to make everybody about it but well i hope you have good shows in Tacoma this weekend. I'm going to have a great set with Tim. I can't believe I already did my life tonight.

I'm manifesting it. Oh yeah. By the time this airs, I had one of the greatest sets of my life and I got so many new fans and I made new friends with people who Tim Dillon heads and and yeah, and I Steven Tyler is wants me to be the godparent to his that's pretty crazy

yeah it's crazy tomorrow yeah I'm thinking Stephen Tyler has to have an infant child out there right swaddled in his scarves so I'll meet that kid at the party Kelsey thank you so much for coming on and it was

so good to catch up with you and i just feel like this is such a um i just feel so good about it because i uh it's been way too long girl so thank you for being here and um everyone you if you don't know about kelsey cook obviously you do now but follow her on everything she's so funny she's gonna have this new special out pretty soon apr April 6th. Again, Madison, Wisconsin. And yeah, check out her special now that's on YouTube. The Hustler and her multiple podcasts. Thanks so much, Kelsey. You're the best.

Thanks for having me, guys. It's so nice to catch up. Yeah. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show. And in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

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