The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #415 Steven Tyler’s Grammy Party, Is Sister Size a Thing? & Killers Of The Flower Moon Review

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

Nikki found herself in an embarrassing spotlight over the weekend, on stage at an auction for Janie's Fund during Steven Tyler's Grammy party. Noa, in return, tells her own cringe-worthy moment in a Victoria's Secret fitting room. Meanwhile, Brian emerges unscathed. Nikki dishes out more tales from the party, including her newfound friendships. In her Final Thought, Nikki vows to conquer all the Golden Globe-nominated films, starting with her review of "Killers of The Flower Moon." Brian, on the other hand, wants everyone to know he's officially fed up with the "Multiverse" madness.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki Hello, here I am Welcome to the show, it's Nikki Glaser Podcast

I'm Nikki Glaser, I'm here in St. Louis Brian Frangie is in Los Angeles Noah is in Arizona Yep, also a city in Arizona Noah I just want to know Because you Noah just said she had an embarrassing story this weekend And I I just want to, like, I just want to know because you, Noah just said she had

an embarrassing story this weekend and I don't want to like wait. Right off the bat. I'm sorry. Okay. We don't have to ease in. I'll tell an embarrassing story first. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Um, well this weekend I went to, um, the Grammy part, Steven Tyler's Grammys party. It was like a fundraiser for janie's fund which chris uh was singing all night janie's got a fund which i thought and i'm like did anyone not put that together yet um i auctioned off so that part of it was so janie's fund is like a um a charity that gives money to women to support women who are coming out of foster care they're aging out of the system and then they're just put out there and like the statistics are crazy it was like 71 percent of women that uh age like from foster care end up getting pregnant

before they're 21 71 percent or something like that and it was like you know High percentages of Going to prison and Being in abusive relationships And Not yeah not being able to Get Taylor Swift tickets just horrible things And no It was just like devastating

Statistics and So they raised money to give them guns Yeah They raised money for Devastating statistics. So they raise money to give them guns? Yeah. They raise money for new face tattoos. No, face tattoo removal would actually be part of the thing. But yeah, a lot of these, you know, this is the thing is like I was on the red carpet right before the event. And I always do this where I like sign up for a charity event or like say yes to it. And then I don't know about the charity.

And then I get there and I like don't remember that that's what they're they were there for but this one i actually did know a little bit about but on the red carpet they're asking like why is this so important tonight and i'm like can i be honest i'm here because i got invited i it doesn't really i'm glad that it's for charity but like i just wanted to go to a cool event i didn't i don't i did i did say i i love a charity and it makes me feel better that i spent all this money and put in all this effort to go towards something that i could like and i i auctioned off an item so it was like you know i hopefully earned more money for them but i'll get to that in a second i actually don't think i did but let's be honest like it's it is really

nice to see no one asked steven tyler to do this fund you know what i mean like he's not i don't think he's doing it for tax purposes like he's i think he's genuinely like a good person who actually cares um but i would have been there either way i would have and i like to give back but it's it's it's hard for me to put that on of like oh yeah that this is this is why i'm here tonight it's like no i'm here because i want to get a picture on a red carpet and seem like i'm interesting and i've got stuff going on you made page six best dressed uh party i did yeah you made it last year oh hey i made it last year what do you mean yeah at the grammys when you're wearing that silver like gunmetal dress with the choker you were on the list as well oh yeah that was the grammys too oh i forgot

okay well that's nice well that's all is my stylist danny and emma style if you want to follow them on instagram but um yeah i mean so anyway we were talking about it and i'm like yeah like and then i just started getting into the Nobody's going to the Janie Foster charity events that Stephen Tyler's not putting on. No one's going to a normal Janie Foster charity event. That doesn't have a red carpet and doesn't have Stephen Tyler there and doesn't have tons of famous people at it.

Which I guess is an argument for why it's a good thing that he does it. Because otherwise, none of these people would be there. And they raised like $3 million in that room that night with bidding and auctions and everything. Like it was seriously, they do so much good. It's also like a rich person status thing to put on charity events. And it's just like something you got to do when you're rich in order to maintain your social status.

But there is a tax incentive for sure to do it. And I don't think that's why he does it. But there has to be. Otherwise, no one would do it. Right. Like not no one would do it, but fewer people would do it. Um, yeah. So I, I was, I was happy to be there, but I was talking to these reporters about like,

why is this so important to you? And then I was like, actually, this is really important because then I started going off on some tangent about, um, you know, how I was born with a supportive family. And the reason that I'm even able to be there that night is because i had i wasn't in foster care and i didn't i wasn't abused as a child and i like kind of felt loved growing up and didn't have um you know i had a stable foundation to make me feel like i could do something i had parents that financially supported me yeah because most of the celebrities there probably were abused as children that's why they're celebrities well that's why i also said yeah i also said these girls need this help because

they've been through trauma and trauma makes good art so like and it makes like for a really strong cool person and so i almost started getting off on my tangent about like if you're molested you're cool like i almost went there but but I didn't. Um, but I did, it was, I was speaking to that and that, um, you know,

I was checking my privilege at the door along with my umbrella. Cause it was raining a lot. And, um, the event was really fun, but I, at the end of the night I had to give, so it was like this, we were just watching you go there and you sit and you eat dinner.

And it's this really fancy, uh, you know, three three course meal and i'm sitting at this table with all these celebrities and it's really fancy everyone's dressed like they're at the grammys um the dress was rock and roll chic so it's like it's it was it was fancy it was it was at the palladium it's big you know space and it was so it was gorgeous and I think I don't know someone like sponsored my ticket I did not buy a ticket to go I think there's like these tables you had to like buy a seat but I because I guess I was giving I was doing one of the auctions they let me in for free or whatever it was awesome and um but then the auction was after the Grammys so we're watching the Grammys and i'll get into that

later of like who is at my table and the dynamics there and and trying to watch taylor swift win but not act like too much of a fangirl because i didn't want to seem lame because no one else really seemed to care that much um but it was the highlight of my night when she won like it was my as if my best friend was winning i was um so excited um but at the end of the so we watched the whole grammy's and then after that that's when the auction start and my auction item is like number 10 and my auction item is taylor swift's earrings that she wore oh wow did you buy them no because they they were like this is like they went for 50 grand which isn't that much in the scheme of things like yeah other stuff was going for a lot i think 50 grand was that's

reasonable for it was um some stacked rings you know like three two or three rings that j-lo wore in a video music video and there's like a prominent picture of her like doing this and like yeah posing with them so you know she wore them and they were the ones she wore and then the earrings were the ones taylor swift actually wore to the chiefs game i remember looking up these exact earrings because i follow taylor swift styled which is an account that tells you how to buy her things as you know i frequent and so i remembered these earrings and i was really excited to um have that be the thing that i was auctioning off or like i was there was a guy doing the auction going like we got 50 okay i was under you were the one doing that no no no he there was a guy that did it and he, we got 50. Okay. I was wondering if you were the one doing that. No, no, no.

There was a guy that did it and he was really good at it and sounded like, what did you do? I was just like presenting the item and talking about it, but I, Oh, cool. So what'd you say? You got,

you had the ring. I was so nervous because it's like a room of a bunch of like celebrities and their, um, you know, uh, mistresses and just different there's like lots of people lots of rich people in the room for sure there was some there were people that were just like people donating a hundred thousand dollars by raising their hand just like okay i'll just give that like really important people and they gave me a script this is always the way it is with these things they

give you a script and then they go but you can punch it up and then there's no then but there's no like okay here's the punched up script i wrote and now you print that up for me there's just like now here's they hand you the script and they're like now here it is and you're like but you told me i could punch it up and now you're handing it to me and it's the same one as before like i was just kind of gonna go off the top of my head so i got this script and i'm like should i follow this and then i was like no i'll just go off the top of my head i know like what jokes i'm gonna make and i just i went off the rails man i was nervous bill burr was there i get nervous ever doing anything in front of bill burr because i like him so much. And I just know that he like is cynical about everything.

And I don't know. I just felt, I know that if I were him, 100% he is. And he's really nice. And like, he was, he,

he, I know that. And I put it out of my mind. And luckily he left before I went on stage. I like was, I was pulled early from my table and he was sitting at my table. And then I was pulled early to go, like go in the wings and wait for my item to come up.

And while I was gone, he had left. And I was so glad because afterwards I was like, I said to Chris, I was like, Oh, I can't believe Bill Burr saw that. And he was like,

no, he left right before I was like, yes, not that it really matters, but like it, it kind of does because I just was, so I started out good i made all my jokes that i wanted to make i was like these are the same earrings that she nervously

played with while she while she watched travis kelsey go in for a pass or whatever i was like she definitely like went like this like oh she was putting them in and was like do i get it like i was like she's touched these so her dna is on it you can the technology is advanced enough we can you could use these to clone her someday and i was funny and then i was saying and then there's some rings that jlo wore in a music video that no one saw and that didn't get a laugh but that just got groans because everyone's suddenly loves her now because whenever there's like a backlash you know with io you know did you see that no um you know the girl that um is on in the bear that won the golden gloves oh yeah for sure and she just hosted snl yep she hosted with j-lo and there was a video that came out or a podcast clip that came out where she was talking

about it was called the podcast called scam artist and it was um she was like you know who's the biggest scam artist going is j-lo this girl thinks she can sing so it was um she was like you know who's the biggest scam artist going is jlo this girl thinks she can sing so it was like two years ago that she went off about jlo being a scam and then it resurfaced right before she's doing the show with jlo which is really embarrassing i've been there before where you mouth off and then you have to like work with that person because you just don't think you'll ever get to the place in your life where you're like next to j-lo being like i'm hosting snl this week with musical guest j-lo i talked about two years ago and she's gonna be singing the thing i told you she can't do yeah um so but anyway so it's kind of like there was this like there was a lot of chatter online about can

she sing whatever and then i think that because i i just said no one saw this video because no one did there's no way anyone did it was i didn't see it there's you i the name of it is something i'd never even realized j-lo was still doing music and i was just making a joke no one watches musical videos musical videos no one watches music videos at all you know it's just a dumb joke but got groans because how dare i and um and you know how dare i because i'm less successful than j-lo so i can you can punch up everyone did everyone forget that you can punch up that that is that we've all agreed that's allowed that you're not supposed to punch down but like j-lo's allowed to make fun of celebrities as ricky gervais he gets away with

it that's it He doesn't They like Were mad at him At first When he did that Well maybe that's The difference then Maybe it's just like You can't care

If they get mad at you And then you gotta get mad At them for getting mad at you Yeah Be like Oh I'm so sorry Apologized You did

Ayo did Oh okay Yeah She kind of said Like I'm I'm embarrassed Of things i said two years she kind of like alluded to it and did it in a really classy way i would have not handled it that well i would have been like oh can i get on a different show like i would have just begged to be on a

different i don't know what i would have done if i were her this because you know jlo is gonna see it or hear about it that you were mouthing off on a podcast about how she can't sing. I mean, I just hope I never have to cross paths with her because I don't think she can't. You've been talking smack. But I can't sing, so I'm allowed to call out someone else who can't sing. You know what I mean? Maybe I should only

be able to call someone else out if I could sing. But I think as someone who can't sing... Anybody who's a celebrity, you should be allowed to make fun of anybody who's a celebrity, who's in the the public light they're choosing to be in the public light therefore they are choosing to i don't know about that publicly why i mean that's part of the game if you're going to be a celebrity a celebrity you need to know that people are going to be talking about you that's the whole point even though it's not in good taste i do agree with brian yeah it's just not it's yeah it's celebrities politicians the same i don't want to be made fun of but i know but i do know that it's part of it and i have been made fun of and i just don't i

just you know i i i laugh along with it and i go i know i know. It's nice when you hate yourself deep down because anyone that says anything about you, you can just go, I agree. You know, like, it's really... But if JLo likes herself, so I think that's the problem. That would be a funny reaction. If you're sitting in an audience, someone makes fun of you and it cuts to you and you

just go, I agree. That would be a funny reaction. Oh, you mean like at an award show i get made fun of yeah i wouldn't mind that you could do the taylor swift thing of just sipping your drink but i think it'd be funny if you turned the person next to you and go you know i agree she's making a lot of i don't think it's hatred though i want to just say it's like i think you have self-awareness like it's not it's not the self-hatred that makes you that way you have self-awareness which a lot of people don't have.

So when people are like, when anyone, anything, anyone, it's kind of nice because anything anyone could say about me, I just, I, it doesn't, I know I felt that way before about myself. I agree with you on a deeper level. It's, I'm not fighting you on it. I don't know why I'm famous either. It irritates me sometimes too. Or like, I'm not even like, you know, whatever level of fame I have, it confates me sometimes too or like i'm not even like you know whatever level of fame i have it confuses me as well like anything that you could be like what what's her deal um her face is weird whatever you could say she has i don't know her feet are gross i agree with you

um but so i get up there to do this auction and i just it's just i run out of jokes i run through all my jokes i say you know travis kelsey's saliva might be on these earrings because he whispered in her ear later that night his spittle might have you know gotten onto them as he whispered babe you want to get hot wings and um i i did another and then i I just, I think when I get nervous, it's like when Jay-Z said, when I get nervous, I get honest. Is that what he said? When I get nervous, I tell the truth. That's what he said at the Grammys. And I was like, woof, do I relate to that, man?

Like when all else fails, just start. I don't even know if I got honest. I just got gross. I got really um vulgar and i'm not like a vulgar person but everyone but i am i guess because i don't have a problem saying these things but i was like you're vulgar definitely to the general public stick up their ass celebrities who pretend like they're so open to all sorts of artistic expression and then as soon

as someone says anything remotely offensive they get the stick up their ass so far that they're like a fucking puppet yeah i think hollywood is the most stick up their ass group of people and oh my god they yeah all they you sang a song you wrote a song and you acted in something you've literally done nothing for the world that's literally nothing sometimes they don't even write the song yeah most yeah or sing it that's why people love when ricky gervais goes off at the golden globes and then says like fuck you for even getting offended at this because these people are just clutching their pearls the entire night it's yes i and i'll add myself to the list i just tell jokes i am not

like an calling me an artist is a stretch and artists aren't that cool and the world would be fine without it i mean it would be a little bit boring because art like makes you feel good and stuff and makes you process your feelings but we don't really need it no it's not like we're not really changing lives in the way we all think we all anyway we know that so then i just go i just start saying like if you have a swifty in your life you need because i'm talking to men because men are the ones that are you know actually there's some women that bought some stuff and and we're paying big money this woman i think spent like five hundred thousand dollars on a car that was auctioned off. It was crazy. Um,

but I was just saying to anyone who has a Swifty wife, you will get your dick sucked so hard. It will get sucked off. I was like, I didn't say it, but I was saying to, I was even telling Chris, like,

you know, I was, I was just joking as other people were doing auctions. And I was like, they just need to tell people that this will get them laid. That should be the incentive for every man. If you raise up your little paddle right now, your wife will blow you or whoever.

And so I just started saying, yeah, this will get, if you want to get a blow job tonight and you have a wife that likes Taylor Swift, this is the guarantee. And then I go, if you have a daughter that loves Taylorlor swift she'll forgive you for trying to bang her au pair i was just like saying i was like that by your by your children's affection you will be your daughter will be cool at school she will no one will fuck with her if she has these earrings and then i said you know what i'll blow you if you buy these earrings

i if you buy them for me i care i have a boyfriend he's sitting right there i don't care i'll blow you tonight if you buy these and give them to me if you want a blowjob from nikki and i'm just like going off and i don't really mean that but i kind of do and so then then i look down and i have forgotten there are children oh no right in front of me this is a huge huge room with probably like 300 people 400 people and there are children sitting right in the front and i remember i knew they were there steven tyler had talked to them prior to the auction starting and was like do you play drums you know and he kids. They were the foster women who were raising money for. Oh my God. They were the children of the foster women.

All they're talking about is like how they used to, you know, prostitute. And now they don't have to do that anymore. And I'm up there literally prostituting. Oh no. Yeah. And so I,

I see the kids and then I'm on this like rant and then I stop it. And the guy's going off on like, uh, we got 25 over here. We got to, can go to 27 you know and i see the kids and then i just go like deer in headlights like i can't talk anymore like i'm supposed to be chiming in with like and they're sustainably grown they're lab grown diamonds but i'm supposed to keep giving details and i'm i'm horrified by what i've done because i see the kids and i see like the parents kind of like coddling them and I don't even know.

I didn't say anything. I wasn't like, I mean, that's as filthy as it got. As I said, I will blow you. I promise I'll blow you after the show. Um,

but I felt horrible. I haven't recovered from it. I can't get over it. And afterwards I was walking around just like so ashamed. I wanted to leave immediately, but people kept coming up to me and being like oh my god that was nuts that was the highlight of the night and stuff like that but it was like

and I kept going I forgot there were kids here I would forget and they were like it's okay they're gonna learn somehow and I'm like yes I know that but when they're adults they should learn like not as children. No don't worry about that they're celebrities children they're gonna be fucked up no matter what happens to them. That's a good point and if they knew what blowjob meant then that means that they've probably They're celebrities' children. They're going to be fucked up no matter what happens to them. That's a good point.

And if they knew what blowjob meant, then that means that they've probably heard more fucked up things than what you've said. Otherwise, they wouldn't have known. I didn't describe what it was. I wasn't like, I will suck on your penis. Probably just thought like a blowout. Until cum comes out. Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you hear someone say blowjob on stage? Does that mean you're going to star in succession like that's like you're these kids are you fucking them up is only going to make them become stars in the future okay you've helped them Nikki you didn't even know it yeah trauma leads to

people overcoming things and working harder that's the whole point it was good that I did it. I just felt like You didn't do enough, quite frankly. I felt like, ew, get her out of here. She won't be invited back. She didn't understand the tone.

It's almost like I wore the wrong thing to the event. You just feel like you didn't get the message and you're not one of us. It just felt and I hate the added thing of she wanted to offend all of us. It it just felt I, and I hate the added thing of like, she wanted to like offend all of us. And it was like, no,

I didn't. I promise you. I was only trying to sell those earrings and be funny. And also just like survive. Like my survival instincts are just go to filthy jokes. Like, and I don't even really intentional. I promise you,

I don't intentionally do it. And yeah, maybe it is just like a crutch because I know it'll get a laugh but i really didn't even it didn't even get a laugh i did and it was not guaranteed to i just was drowning and struggling for a life raft and i had no intention of saying blowjob i was only joking about blowjobs with chris in his ear as i was like making fun of other people presenting items and i was just suggesting like they should just promise but and then that's because i had said it it was in my subconscious and when i started when i ran out of jokes to say or anything to say and it was just awkward that i and i honestly think it hurt the auction because i think that if a man wanted to buy them and he's sitting next to his wife she now is like he's just doing that so nikki will blow him or whatever you know like i think i

heard it by like making that part of it and i was like oh no yeah so then i felt so bad and everyone was like i'm surprised they didn't go for more and i I'm like, I know. And then I go, oh my God, it was because I fucking ruined it. It was so embarrassing. Or maybe they just wanted you, like, they didn't want the kids to hear anymore. So they were just like, okay, let's just bid a whole ton of money on this. Oh yeah, like get her off the stage. So we closed the auction. No, I think they were one of the lowest selling items.

What if one of the kids bought them? And she had just won her fourth fucking album of the year Grammy. They're like like it's like everything was in place for them to and even the woman holding the earrings was looking at me like what the fuck she was just there to like model them and just hold them and then she goes she just she just won four fourth album she just set a record for four and i was like uh and she had four albums like i was she was even trying to help me by giving me like talking points and i couldn't i was just once i saw that there were kids there i was

disgusted with myself i wanted to get off the stage i wanted to go hide in a hole i i couldn't i couldn't even handle it and then i walked back to the table and i'm just like i didn't even see that bill burr wasn't still there because i was hanging my head so low and then we got i was like i'm going to the bathroom and then chris came with me and i was like i can't believe bill burr just saw how bad that was and he was like he's gone and so that's how sad i was i like couldn't even look at anyone i wouldn't even look at he was sitting at my table and i had not seen he left because i i was just didn't want to make eye contact with anyone because then they have to go good job and it's like no it wasn't and but everyone afterwards was coming up to me like, that was the funniest thing.

I love you so much. And it was a lot of gay drunk men. So that is, that's my... Yeah, that's your target demo. Yeah, that's the niche demo. Your aspirational demo. I want it anyway. Yeah, I love it.

And so I felt like so good that so many people came up. The only problem that you're having right now, I think, is that you want to be accepted by this group of people. And the truth is the only way to be accepted by these people is to act like you don't want to be accepted and be above them. No, I just didn't. I think I just didn't want to offend anyone or have someone think that I'm dirty or that I think I'm cool because I'm being dirty or that i'm being dirty because i love to just rub my sexuality in their face like i i don't want anyone to be like actually turned on by me offering a blowjob i want it to be funny because obviously that's not what's gonna happen but i think i sometimes toe that line between like people don't know what i'm about they just introduced me and the biggest

swifty out there in hollywood nikki glazer and it's like there's again no fucking context for what i am no one knows who i am in that room it was like you know it was i was just the girl sitting next to zoe deschnell and we'll talk about that later but um and then noah's gonna tell us her bit embarrassing story after the break right after this. hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back.

Noah, what happened to you this weekend that was embarrassing? Okay, so a little bit... Noah's like, similarly, I asked a bunch of celebrities that I'd blow them. Anyway, go on. No, I didn't do that. It's actually a little bit, like way different than your story.

So I went bra shopping for my wedding dress because i have like all i have are like discounted uh sports bras that are really big and all that so i'm like okay i need like a nice yes nice bra so where do i go wait is your wedding dress like a maternity wedding dress yes they sell those yeah there's actually a lot of nice options i went for like a form-fitting one that's like sparkly all right it's tail as old as time i mean and it really is v-cut so i'm like you know what i have these puppies let me use them while i still got them yes and i was like who has the best push-up bra that i know of and it's victoria's secret so i'm like i'll go to victoria's secret i'll get like a best push-up bra that I know of? And it's Victoria's Secret. So I'm like, I'll go to Victoria's Secret.

I'll get like a huge push-up bra. I'll make them look like gazungas. Those puppies are going to grow up one day to be dogs. And I'll love them if they stick around. So anyway, so I go in and I have no idea what my new bra size is. So I'm just kind of like looking, I'm like shuffling through these like white push-up lace bras

and one of the girls that works there comes up to me and she's like, do you need help with anything? I said, yes, I don't know my bra size. So I'm trying to figure it out. And she's like, oh, well, I can measure you. So she measures me and then she's like, with your clothes on or in the dressing room? I just had my t-shirt on and she just did it over the t-shirt So she measures me and then she's like, why don't you go with your clothes on or in the, in the dressing room? Uh, with my,

I just had my, my t-shirt on and she just did it over the t-shirt and she's like, why don't you go into the dressing room and I'll give you like the, like the stock bras to try on. Um, just so we can kind of see, um, you know, just like get you the perfect fit.

Go ahead. I bet you're right now a 34 triple d incorrect okay go on i'll i'll reveal the bra size if people stick around to the end of this um i think so i don't know okay well then it's not because you didn't know the top i'm not there yet she's trying to trick you they don't go quadruple d right like it's like triple is the most so double d no no no not that big okay okay go on so anyway so she sends me to the fitting room and she brings me like the the trial bras or whatever and i try them on and um we find like a good fit a good size and then she's like okay i'm gonna bring you

a bunch i'm like okay i need white or beige so just and and i'd really like a a push-up so she brings me like two and she she's like okay i heard noah okay noah i'm putting them on the door and i'm gonna get you some more i'm like okay and i was like did i give her my name yeah it's like i don't think i gave her my name how did she know my name is noah so then i'm like maybe she just said now so then she she she comes back with some more and she's like hey i think she said hey now but she goes hey noah i have some more and i was like hey now doesn't even make sense i know she's she's maybe like 21 there's no way she's like listening to howard stern or knows hey now that gary shandling show where it's okay so um so i'm like that is so weird so anyway so i opened the door and i show her

my like the size so she gave me a 34 d okay the cup was good but it was way too tight around my waist i was like this is like you know it's i think i might have to go up in size so then she's like okay well um we can give you your your sister's size what and i was like okay how the fuck does she know that i have a sister i love that you're like thinking that she actually knows these things like cosmically she just senses it as opposed to this is a different person she thinks you are i'm like this naked pregnant lady just standing there i'm like i was like i'm sorry how did you know that i have a sister and what her broad size is. Oh my god. Wait, what the could this be? So,

she's looking at me and she's like, your sister's size. And I'm like, I was like, I am so, and you knew my name. I don't think I gave you my name. And she's like, what? She got so

scared. She's like this beautiful like young she was like either polynesian and like hispanic and just like just like so delicate looking and here she is like appalled by my questioning asking her how she knew my name and that i have a sister she had no fucking idea what i was talking about because apparently did you know that you know there's like two versions of your bra size so my sister size is actually a 36 c no no no no i don't like this we don't speak your industry jargon no one no no one knows about a sister size. No, Nikki, because later on, I was walking around.

I had to go back into the fitting room and she said it to someone else and that girl understood what she was saying. No, she didn't. She was pretending to understand. She's like, Noah, I have your sister size and I know you from the podcast. So I know that you're not on camera that often.

She has sister size. What, you know me? And she's like, no. She had no idea. Podcast is an industry like, no. She had no idea. Podcast is an industry term about bras. She had no idea who I was. It was just the language. So why did she say Noah?

She said now? I think she said, yeah, I was like, my name is Noah. How did you know that? And she was like, what? I didn't know that. She's fucking with you. She looks so scared. She knows.

She's gaslighting you. What does your sister size mean mean it means like another size you could be like that doesn't make any sense so basically when you go up in your waist size your cup size becomes one size smaller you're not waist like rib cage size yeah yeah like rib cage size exactly okay so if you go from a 34 to a 36 you're gonna go from like a d to a c right so i always ended up at a 36 c yes i used to be either a 34 a or a 32 b oh my god my sister size was the 32 b got it so you see so that was i was just i felt so stupid and i was like oh my god But it's kind of cute That's on her dude because she assumed

That you knew her stupid Victoria's Secret Made up like branding Jargon that makes That just tries to make what they do seem more like Family friendly or something That doesn't make any sense She's pranking you

You're going to be on TikTok later No it's one of these things people do. You know these people that just assume you are in their brain and have had all your experiences? Unless it's a thing. Oh my God, I have my ICT test this week. And you go, I don't know what that, why would you, you know me. How would you, do you think I know what an ICT, I'm not in your industry. I don't work in, you know, whatever, public school education.

I don't know what that certification class is. Stop. Like, I catch my friends doing it sometimes where I'm like, do you think she, like, I'll, because I'll see someone say something that I know the other person doesn't know. And like, who this weekend, there was someone that did it this weekend and um oh they were talking about it was just like they were mentioning their husband i think like they were just saying and then we were at with with but it was like i don't want those industry terms my mom doesn't know avi's name or whatever you know what i mean like so it just or doesn't even know that

this person's married so like i just have to keep i have to keep injecting context constantly and go that's her husband's name that uh uh like kirsten does kirsten does a lot but she's not she's she does it innocently because she just doesn't it's not the same thing she's not like everyone should revolve around my life but she's just like she'll talk about where she works where um she'll be like so yeah today so i went to hillside and i go that's the gym she works at like we people don't know these words and sometimes i do it too like i did it on dancing with the stars where i said i've had a lot of rough sets in my life and everyone thought i said sex because no one unless you're a comedian you don't really talk about comedian set like people don't know what that means and so i've done it too where i just think everyone is like in my brain and knows my life but sister size is not a thing it's a thing that you

educate someone about and then i just want to know because i am so out of touch with like like i don't read teen vogue anymore or teen beat or all those magazines so all the girls who are in their 20s that listen to this show, is it a thing? Or am I out of touch? Maybe it's like a Gen Z thing, like Riz. Or like No Cap. Like you think it's just slang that everyone knows. I don't think it is.

Maybe. I knew sister size. I mean. No, you didn't. And I wonder if Ali would know. We should check. But yeah. I don't know what a bra is though.

But I do know what sister size is you did not know that are you serious no no okay of course good i was like what you know what's so annoying about bras my one of my favorite bras um the the bottom you know it has two clasps on it and the bottom one like you know just like the wire bent in the laundry or whatever and so it's just straight now and now it only i can't wear it i can't stand when a bra is just like oh god like cliffhanger like one little class like i need it to be solid across otherwise it feels like tight and the other one is it's just like and spilling out on the end i don't like it and so that bra is dead to me now um i at the bra like bras are just so confounding and every it's so funny that there's

so many memes about them and all women relate except the men realize too hey to bras being i mean this is like every man growing up is their whole existence revolves around being able to reach around and unclassful it's such a simple thing that you guys freak out about but i get it and it takes any time at all it's like an emasculating embarrassment they should really do it one hand like putting condoms on a banana yes you should have to take a bra off a pumpkin you know like we should have that because i just feel like regardless of if it's important or not there's just so much anxiety that goes along with sex stuff and like the other like like i didn't know that dicks could like go all the way up i just thought that they would like go parallel or you know perpendicular to a man's body and like i

didn't know they could go up more or curve those are like wild i mean i didn't know i just thought it would be like bone and then it was just like straight i did like when it you can just move it everywhere i didn't know that oh yeah you could push like there are some dicks erect they do do like an arch like the stock market going up yes those are like pornographic those are like the big bat black pictures plane taking off yeah yeah that's oh i didn't know well now i know i thought dicks because you just see guys going like oh and getting their your their dicks hit i thought it was the dick getting hit that hurt i didn't realize it was the balls so like when i was first handling a dick, I was so delicate. I was handling an artifact from

an archaeological dig. I just didn't want to touch it in any way. And now I realize it's the balls that have... The dick can hurt too. I'm sure, but not the way the balls... I mean, yes. No, the balls are particularly sensitive. Yeah.

I didn't know that it was mostly a ball thing. The balls are like a a crowd at the a celebrity crowd at the grammys sensitive yeah stuck up yeah there's well the dick is stuck up the balls are sensitive oh the balls yeah yeah yeah um did you guys watch the grammys no i meant to billy joel was there and that's my man yep Yep, he was there. I was trying to watch it, but because we were at a dinner and there's so much talking going on and socializing, it's

hard to watch and listen. Too much to pay attention to. Yeah, but I really wanted to because I... You think you're going to go back and watch, but you just don't. I don't care about Dua Lipa's performance after the fact. I just don't care. I want it.

I want to watch it live. I, I, I, I missed it because we were late getting there and everyone was like, oh, she killed it. And I'm like,

oh yeah, I'll just watch that later. Have I watched it? No. It has it come across my feet a bunch. Yes. And did I watch it? I didn't know.

I don't have the time, but I have all the time. Um, Miley Cyrus's performance. I keep seeing clips of that. Have you guys seen that? No, I didn't want to leave them, but I did oh yeah oh loved it yeah she could never pull it

off but she did i mean you could because you just have to be rock and roll like you just got to be so confident and that girl can pull off anything also she has zero percent body fat so she can wear anything she um also something's she's had an eye operation that i i like i think it looks good um but there's no question to me that something's taking place there and i can't believe more people aren't talking about it but i guess it's none of our business but to me anytime someone gets face work we all talk about it but this we're not but maybe it was part of her look like she had this one like blown back hair and so her eyes were supposed to look like whoa like they've been blown back as well maybe that was it but i i can't imagine sounds crazy no no one's talking about it like i keep reading this is what i whenever i suspect someone's had face work i

just start to read the comments to go like who's gonna confirm it for me who else is seeing what i'm seeing no one's talking about it maybe she didn't as someone who tends to look at these kind of things i think an operation happened which you know no shade because i'll do the same thing but um i liked i liked that she was like so excited that she won uh a grammy i thought that was really cool that she wasn't scared to just be like i just won my first grammy but i would i would have thought she won more had she not said that. Like, I was kind of like, that's,

she's only won one. Act like you've been there before. I was kind of like, just, yeah. You can tell you make it. But I liked that she said that because it,

it showed that she's not, um, yeah, that she's, she isn't just too cool for school. Like, it actually excites her. And she's,

before kind of come across like she's too cool for school, um, she did make some mention. she said, I just actually excites her. And she's, before kind of come across like she's too cool for school, she did make some mention. She said, I just won my third Grammy. And then, like, an announcer had to be like, that was her first Grammy.

No, they wouldn't. People would just go, I guess that's correct. Yeah. You know? Just make it that way. You should have said that on stage. As a Grammy winner,

you should have said that at Steven Tyler's thing. No one would question it. They'd go, oh, she won for... You could have won a Grammy for comedy. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I could... Comedy album. Egg. Out of all the...

The closest I could get to getting an EGOT is egg for what I do, I think. But, yeah. So, she... But I will say this. I liked what she she gave like a speech when she got one of her things and i kind of overheard it because i was coming back from the bathroom because i had to keep going to the bathroom because i forgot to wear fucking deodorant and i started smelling so

bad and i couldn't like i was just sitting at the table like this like looking really awkward nervous couldn't lift up my arms because i was just so scared someone would smell it. I want to tell you something, Nikki. We had a parallel because I forgot to wear deodorant when I went bra shopping, which was like another reason why I was more- You stunk up those stock bras.

Sister stink. I was like, please don't make me put my arms too high up when you're measuring. Sister stink. I found the best way to combat body odor is to say you have it when you're around people. Just say, I forgot deodorant.

I know I might stink. And anything that they could think about you is out the window because you've already called it out. So just say it to people. But it also might make people aware who weren't aware. But at least you've called it out. The worst thing is to have someone smell it and think that you don't know i think that's the worst thing like i could smell someone but if i if i know they know then i'm like and they're like you know they're nervous about it they're not like yeah i know i

stink weakness that's cool right but if you roll in there like i stink and i know it wasn't yeah i wasn't good enough i wasn't friends enough enough. Zooey Deschanel and her boyfriend, Jonathan Scott from Property Brothers. We were sitting right next to them at the table. And we were good enough friends at the end of the night. Yeah. But when I first started smelling myself, I was like, I can't tell them. I wanted to, but I couldn't. So before you leave, you go up to Zooey Deschanel and go, by the way, I know I stank all night.

I really, if you see me in the picture with them, like I'm scared to like put my arm around them because I was so stinky. So I kept going to the bathroom to wet down cloths

and my dress was so tight I had to go through, I couldn't go up through the bottom because I couldn't reach the zipper behind so I had to go through my neck

and go in and wipe it and I, you know, wet a cloth, i put soap on it wet it then i do another wet cloth then i dry it off so i kept going to the bathroom to take care of that and i was wearing this thong skims so it was like a skims that like sucks you in it really looks like an uh a wrist cuff like when you first put it on and it's it's so tiny barely goes over

your ankle then you put it on it sucks you in but it slowly rides up through the night and it is splitting you it's cleaving you in two because it's a thong so it's just slicing you up and so then it was like severe advanced um you know almost like infectionary camel toe happening where it was just like it hurts so bad it hurts so bad when you have this rubber band slicing you up the front of your crotch it was so painful so i had to kept going to the bathroom to pull that out um and but oh what was it oh so when i was going to the bathroom i heard one of her speeches which was like i just want to say this does not change anything for me this doesn't

really matter i'm the same person that i was when i woke up this morning and it was i liked some of that of like this isn't gonna change my life um so she had both of it going like she was very excited about it but she was also like don't think that this makes any me any different and then i also loved that during when she was singing i can buy myself flowers she you could tell that she noticed the crowd was being too cool for school and probably only taylor swift was like up dancing singing along because that's how she does at award shows because she has fun um but you could tell miley was like what the fuck no one's singing along and you see her at one point she goes oh don't even act like you don't know what this song is and she was like she like calls them out and

she like fucked up a lyric to be able to say that to them i really liked that her calling them out she's so cool that's the equivalent of ricky gervais saying like oh i'm sure you're so offended that i made fun of jlo like when you do that you're you're just showing them you just have to tell them how you're supposed to how they're supposed to respond to you that's a good point obviously you're right i was like towing that line of like Wanting them to like me but also telling the truth And you have to go all in And go oh really Are you so sad that I said

Who here saw this video Tell me one thing that happened in that music video Can one person raise their hand and tell me One thing that happened in that video That would have been a great thing to do You're right okay I'm going to start Leaning into it more You can't seem like emotional upset you can't seem like emotional

You can't start going well I didn't have time To write this That's how I felt But you can't say that yeah you can't Get too emotional Just a little punchline joke jab Oh I'm sure you all saw the video I'm sure you all have the video on repeat

On your I'm sure it's your iPhone wallpaper is this picture of jayla with her rigs that's what whenever i do a joke about a burn victim and or a burn survivor in my set not a joke about them but i reference what a burn survivor looks like and people go oh and i go um what do you do you think they look different am i like i'm just describing what they look like i'm not being mean it literally is just a description i'm just trying to convey what i notice and people just get so go oh and i go oh i get so mad i go really i go have you ever seen a bird survivor their faces look different like i freak out because they just This whole thing of like I'm offended Why?

I didn't say they deserved it I didn't say I hate them and think they should You know I was almost going to say be burned alive But that already happened You know it's just a fucking truth Who was it that said like This story where someone goes that Is this you? That there's a person in a wheelchair

And then they go oh my god and that's you And then you go he knows Is that you? That there's a person in a wheelchair and then they go, oh my God. And that's you? That's. And then. Yes. And then you go, he knows. Is that you? Yeah, he knows. Yeah.

That's funny. Yes. Thanks. Well, one time I literally, I saw a burn survivor and a car next to me. Like we were at a stoplight and I like just looked over and I shrieked in horror. Not on purpose. Instinctually, because there was a severely disfigured person that looked like a halloween mask that looked frightening because a burnt face should look frightening you should try to this is survival you should try to if you see things that look

frightening or that could cause damage to you like it's that you know it there's a reason I didn't like I felt so Bad so bad but I just can't help the way I React you know It's a natural reaction it's hard to not React that way the person who was Burned is not a danger so I don't know If like the evolutionary standpoint but

Maybe in terms of like reproducing With them or something but Yeah that's probably it. But they wouldn't have survived back in the day, in caveman days. You would never see a burn victim. It's tough to put yourself in their position and then just be like, every five minutes someone is shrieking in horror at your visage. No, I know.

You would also hope that the care that they receive, a part of it is learning to deal with people's reactions and how to not take it so personally. Yes. That's tough. It was. It was. Sure. I felt horrible, but I also I couldn't blame myself lesson learned there where like I think after that moment, my brain was like, you don't get to react as soon as you want to on things when you're scared anymore.

Like have a there's got to be a little bit of a delay or something. I had I think I adjusted my timing in my body because I felt so bad about that. But yeah, they must they deal with it all the time i mean but that but to act like you don't act like there's not a difference between their face and ours is an insane thing and to not acknowledge it that's where i just go like oh really oh you don't see it cool um all right we gotta go to a break we'll talk uh we brian you gotta come up with an embarrassing story for us that happened this this weekend? Yeah, you've got to have one. We'll see if he drums one up after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So the Grammy party was super fun, and it was worth the thousands of dollars I spent to do it, for sure. Because even though I don't know that I really helped this organization win extra money.

Did you meet Steven Tyler? Did you talk to him and i didn't want to bother him because he i know the even reason i was there was because of dr zeitel's my surgeon who did my vocal cord surgery he did uh steven tyler's vocal cords and i think he told steven about me and then steven booked me on um an event last year in vegas and steven wasn't able to make it to that event but then this year I got invited to this. Anyway, so I'm on a list and Steven's

voice is really fucked right now and he was like, I shouldn't even be talking. When he was presenting stuff, he was like, my doctor says I shouldn't even be doing this. And so Chris was like, you should go say hi. And I'm like, I don't want to take any

of that man's vocal cord energy so i didn't meet him but he was really funny and cool and looks amazing and and played the drums and stuff and that was cool um but zoe deschanel was at my table and her boyfriend and we became pretty great friends with them by the end of the night i will say um she asked for my number at the end of the night like that because i'm never gonna ask for her number even though i wanted it and i was like i want to stay in touch with she invited me to her birthday party like she's so nice we got along right away she knew she already knew who i was so that was nice but she also she hosted the event and she was so funny i was so impressed and um and so we it was it was just a nice way to bond over that where i'm like this is

a hell gig and you just killed it and so we got along and then i asked them how they met because they're just like such a funny uh couple pairing everyone's like zoe deschanel and the property brother and it was really cool to hear how they met um they met on carpool karaoke they were both doing carpool karaoke oh and um he's just so funny and so nice and so cool. And even Chris was like, I remember just being real suspicious of that relationship of like, why are they together? This seems so weird. And he's like, I could not support it anymore.

He was like, I want to do a press tour about them and how cool they are and how much they belong together and how sweet they are. And it was just, they were just so funny and so nice and just so personable. And, you know, i don't like to bug celebrities like if they would have just wanted to stay and talk to themselves i wouldn't have even noticed or cared i would have been like that's yeah of course like they don't but they went out of their way to include us in the conversation and just so nice and tiffany haddish was at my table and um my friend chris porter dean del rey um g, Greg Fitzsimmons was there.

Baba Booey was there. Sammy Hagar. Frazier was sitting right behind me. Who else? Bill Burr showed up and donated a bunch of money for just, you know, at the start of the auction before they did the items, they were just like, who's here to give $100,000? Who's ready to do that? And then people were just like like just donating money without any incentive they were like giving them a scarf that steven signed but bill burr um was one of the people

that donated a big sum of money which was really cool and i was like man i can't wait to get to that point where i'm just like yeah 10 grand okay let's do it just raise my hand casually while i'm in the middle of a conversation he looked so cool, and I'm trying to think of anyone else. Yeah, it was, it was fun. And, um,

Oh, and Bobby Burke from queer. I, I met him a while ago at my, um, one of my friends, my friend who was my vocal coach for dancing with the star or, uh,

sorry, bass singer. I became really good friends with her. Amy Chapman. She invited me to this like dinners that she was making one night, and Bobby Burke from Queer Eye was there, and I don't really watch Queer Eye, so I wasn't that intimidated, but I've come to find out it's like he's very,

very famous, and so talented, and so cool. And so he was there again, so I got to see him again, which is always nice, and we hit it off again, and that was fun. Yeah, it's fun to have a little... So it sounds like a good night overall. It was a good night. It was... Yeah.

Yeah, it was good. What time did it all end? It went... It started at like 3.30, but I probably got there at 5 and it went until... We left at like 11.30. Wow. And then we went home and finished Killers of the Flower Moon, which I did have to chop into two nights. I'm trying to watch all the Best Picture nominees. Have you watched Killers of the Flower Moon, which I did have to chop into two nights. I'm trying to watch all the Best Picture nominees.

Have you watched Killers of the Flower Moon? Yeah, I saw it in theaters. Oh my God. Final thought. How did you get through that in one sitting? Did you go to the bathroom? Did you miss a scene? Like, what did you do?

Complete cookie. One complete cookie got me through the whole movie. You just nipped on. You didn't go to the bathroom at all no no wow because i would have i would have been like can anyone pause it like i feel like with movies now i just i can't go to movie theaters because i want to pause and rewind because i missed something because i was you know like you miss things now when you watch things at home and you stream them you can really absorb the whole thing so killers of the flower moon so long three hours

and 47 minutes yeah can i just say no no you did really i like when a movie well because think about it most most most days we're watching series and like a series is like 10 episodes and it's like 10 hours and you get used to spending that much time with those characters you get breaks i appreciate the breaks but i'm talking about like just sometimes i watch a movie that's an hour and a half and i'm like i would have loved to have seen those characters for like five six more hours totally yeah it's not enough i you know what i will say that it is too long but i loved being able to chop it up like, like an episodic thing. So Chris and I watched it over two nights and it was nice because I watched

the first half and then I got to think about it and go like, what is going to happen with this? Who did kill Anna? What is, you know, is hail responsible for all the, like all the, I was starting to,

it was room. I was able to ruminate on it. It was much like when you're watching a series and then I was so excited to get home to finish it, to find out what happens. And then I was sad when it was over because it. It was much like when you're watching a series. And then I was so excited to get home to finish it, to find out what happens. And I was sad when it was over because it did feel like a TV show that ended too soon. But yeah,

you got to chop that, that movie up. There should be an option on HBO max or on max where you can turn a movie into a series. That's a good idea. It'll chop it up for you. Leo was amazing. He is the best actor ever.

His face was in a permanent perma-scowl the entire thing. Yeah, the face that all people from the 1800s had. Yeah. He had this grimace the entire thing. That definitely is not natural for his face to look like that. Yes, perfect, Brian. That's it. Yeah, the whole thing.

And even when he smiles, he has it. And it was so... I felt bad for him because I was like, that's going to wrinkle his skin so badly. But what does he care? It doesn't matter.

He's going to look better if he gets wrinkled. He's got to transition into his old man phase now. Yeah, you're right. He's got to start the transition to where he's starting to play characters who are these grizzled like he he still has a few like baby face features that he needs to destroy at this point this movie did it yeah his face contorting it in that way he just looks like

he's in pain the entire the entire movie yeah but he's oh man i just saw a recent clip from eating gilbert grape what's eating gilbert grape oh it was the scene where he discovers his mom's dead and he's like you know dude i can't believe how good he is i yeah i i'm watching that i'm like this is a child and he seems so like mentally handicapped like without question he's making these little movements of his face and little decisions and apparently in that scene, they just let him go and do what he wanted. It wasn't really scripted.

I just was reminded of what an incredible talent he is. Just superhuman almost. Able to embody someone else. Every movie he's in, I want to see. Agreed. It's the same with Daniel Day-Lewis, which I'm so sad that he retired. But every single thing that

he did, I was just like, he elevates the movie, elevates the script. It's amazing. De Niro was great. Martin Scorsese was so distracting at the very end of the film. Yeah, that was weird. I really

disliked that. I get it that you want to hitchcock have your hitchcock does he do this in every movie because i don't remember him in in other films that i've seen does he insert himself in every movie he does he's been in movies before but i don't know every movie i love him i loved him in um uh pretend it's a city or whatever he did with uh fran lebowitz i just love him I'll watch him all day, but I did not like... He needs to play a character that doesn't have an important role. So he comes in at the end at a pivotal

moment where you're kind of learning... It's almost like the epilogue to the film is the last scene, and you're learning what becomes of all these people. And he has this monologue in which you really feel... It wraps it all up and i realized halfway through i haven't heard anything he said because i am so like oh my god that's the director

well i wonder how he directed himself i wonder how like i'm just like oh he looks like this oh he's actually a good actor i'm like my stupid you know um girl mind is just going berserk about all the different things and then i don't even realize that there's some really good um you know uh what's the word called uh when they when they describe what's happening what's it called narration no there's a word that people will say yes there's amazing exposition happening right here and and i've i've lost it all because I'm so distracted by him, but I just kind of like it. I still liked it. I was a little dazzled. It was a little

tricky. You just go, oh my God, that's Marty. Yeah. And I've been watching, I watched Maestro last night. Have you seen Maestro? No, but I do want to say I looked it up. Martin Scorsese has a cameo in almost every movie that he does. Really? Sometimes it's audio only.

Like in The Wolf of Wall Street, he was just audio only. Okay. Hugo. I like it. Remember Hugo, the 2011 hit? He was just like a photographer. He took a photo. Okay.

But he's been in all of them. I think it's fun. They're little Easter eggs. But just don't play a pivotal part like that because I was too distracted. I missed out on stuff. I will say that the actress in it was so beautiful and good and perfect for the role, but man,

that is a role I would like to play. Do you know why? Why? The whole movie, you just look sad and sick. There's no other emotions going on. It's just always like and then there's sometimes other emotions going on it's just always like and then there's sometimes like perfect nikki you got that down sometimes she's like performance it was amazing but not i'm not saying anything bad about her performance

because she nailed what the character required but But if we're talking Oscar worthy, not every role is Oscar worthy, no matter how well you act it. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Like Wonka is probably not Oscar worthy, even though Timothee Chalamet. It could be. I'm talking about like there just wasn't a lot of different emotions. Well, if Wonka is Oscar worthy, then definitely this is. about like there just wasn't a lot of different emotions oscar worthy well i'm just saying because well there i don't know because i didn't there wasn't like a i i guess for a character that i deem as an oscar worthy character you there's like peaks and valleys like a range you'd have

an oscar moment yes and like when i said when i think about it again yes i do i think she was incredible and like the actual interesting thing about her performance was she didn't have to say much to know exactly what she was thinking. That scene where Leo and Lily Gladstone are having their first lunch and they're just

flirting, sort of. They're flirting in like an 1800s way. I never imagined what it would be like. What about their last lunch? That was a good one, and and i mean and she plays sick really well i mean it was just i really i want to get i want to get a role like that that requires me to just look depressed the whole time yeah and like and wrap myself in really gorgeous blankets like dallas byers club or something yeah i don't know i don't remember but you know but she she wasn't i mean that movie was amazing there was just too there was a little bit too much violence but that's scorsese and like as we began the show like someone gets their

head shot off and i go and chris was like this is gonna be the whole thing and i was like i know but i gotta see it because i'm i'm challenging myself to watch them all. So I'm glad I got through it. It was really good. Maestro, also really good. Really well acted. And he directed it too and wrote it, Bradley Cooper. Damn. I mean, this is when I'm talking about an Oscar performance.

Do I think the movie was the best? I think Killers of the Flower Moon was a better movie. I think that Lily Gladstone might be a better actress than he is, but he gave himself a character that has a lot to do. He's conducting, and he's playing piano, and he's crying, and he's thriving. He's doing coke off something. He's gay.

He's straight. There's just a lot of dynamics which i guess you know who i what do i i don't know anything um but i thought it was really really good but a little bit um i don't know what i was supposed to get out of it some of these movies i just go what what i get what i learned from Killers of the Flower Moon. It taught me some history. It taught me... What did it teach me? It taught me... Yeah, it just taught me history. It taught me how we treated the Native Americans.

Yeah, it taught me... I contextualized the plight of Native Americans. And it's something that is still... We should still be aware of in America today. They still have their reservation in Oklahoma. And they're large. They own a large chunk of land in america they're like a sovereign nation in america and like i didn't even know they existed yeah and i didn't know that's how the fbi started i thought that was kind of cool and living in the 20s it's terrifying you do whatever you want

murdered all the time oh yeah you can do whatever you want. You could be murdered all the time. Oh yeah. You can do whatever you want. No one gave a fuck. There's that John Mulaney joke where it's like, they didn't have DNA. So a detective goes into a murder scene. There's a pile of blood on the ground and he's just like, blood. Oh,

mop it up. Yeah. It was scary to watch. Just thinking about how scary that, yeah. And it's, that's, it's a that's it's a true story right yeah um interpretation yeah that's one's worth seeing and and maestro is also worth

seeing i'm gonna see poor things tonight with my mom i saw past lives i've seen barbie i've seen oppenheimer i'm worried about poor things i feel like it's gonna be up to artsy i. I'm worried about Poor Things. I feel like it's going to be up its own ass to artsy. I'm worried I'm going to despise Poor Things, but I have to see it still. Yeah. I'm worried it's one of those movies where they're trying to force you to... They're daring you to like it.

It's like fine art where you're like, oh, I guess you just don't understand what's happening. Did you like everything all at once or whatever that movie was? I didn't see it, but I think that was, to me, that description of like, oh, weird. I dare you to like this. The description of that movie feels that way, but the movie itself is much more like pop culture and mainstream than you would think. But I didn't like it as much as everyone. Everyone went crazy for that movie.

It won, right? It won. Best picture. And I thought it was a good movie. I really enjoyed it. But I didn't think it was like a mind-blowing... Like, I thought The Matrix

was more mind-blowing in terms of how it distorted your view of the universe than everything all at once. I'm just kind of also sick of the multiverse because of Marvel.

Like, I just hate the concept of the multiverse, whether it's true or not. I just don't like this. What's the multiverse? The multiverse... Just Marvel. I just hate the concept of multiverse, whether it's true or not. I just don't like this. What's the multiverse? Just that there's other dimensions? That there's an infinite number of dimensions so every single possibility that could be happening. Sliding doors?

Sort of like that, but it's like every single thing that could possibly be happening is concurrently happening. And this is backed by theories in physics that have been tested, and it could actually be true. But when it comes to movies like Marvel and everything all at once, this is definitely extrapolating on the theories and taking artistic license. But I hate it because the purpose of movie is to tell a story. And when you introduce the

multiverse as a concept, you are eliminating the stakes of any story by saying, well, every single outcome in this story is happening. So it doesn't really matter what happens to these characters. It doesn't really matter what happens in this story because nothing matters because everything is happening all at once. And I guess the point of the movie is that it tries to find meaning even in that. But me personally, I'd rather there be no multiverse in art at all because I think it completely devalues

the purpose of art, which is to say that take a meaningless universe and say, this matters and here's why. Okay. Yes, I hear that. I like the idea, though, that nothing matters because I think that's an interesting point as well. I gotta see everything all at once.

So then you'd love Ant-Man. If you love that. How does Marvel talk about this stuff? We're too late in the show to get into this, but Marvel and everything all at once, those are similar? They're linked, yeah, because they're both premised on the theory of the

multiverse I've seen action hero movies and I don't think that I get bogged down by the fact that there's other realms where this is not happening or it's happening in a different way I don't feel like the only movie like that that I really thoroughly enjoyed was into the spider verse

because it was hilarious and someone on yeah there was only like five spider-man love on the spectrum they liked that and they kept saying was Into the Spider-Verse because it was hilarious. Someone on... There was only like five Spider-Mans. Love on the Spectrum. They liked that. And they kept saying Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse. Yes, I've seen Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse. Did you like Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse? Yes, I love Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse.

I can say the whole thing because I guess you have to. It's one of the best animated films of all time. For sure. Good to know. Well, I'll see poor things. I'll give my report tomorrow. Or I mean next week. We're going to the Super Bowl this weekend. Yeah. Starting. Yeah. I don't know if you'll be able to give your report next weekend. Because our episodes are airing

next week. Oh, yes. That's right. So tomorrow we should talk about our expectations. About? The Super Bowl. Well, no. No, that's today's. That's today's show. So real quick, what are your expectations? What are your expectations? In 30 seconds or less. Oh my God. 30 seconds or less. Well, no, that's today's. That's today's show. Oh, so real quick. What are your expectations? What are your expectations?

In 30 seconds or less? Oh, my God. 30 seconds or less. Well, I hope I I hope we get some good guests and I hope that these guests get what I hope if we get Zyre Franklin to be one of our guests, I have a Zyre Franklin jersey and I wanted to sign it and I'll wear it. I'll wear it on the show. Exciting to listen to. I'm rooting for the 49ers because I'll wear it. I'll wear it on the show. Exciting to listen to. I'm rooting

for the 49ers because I'm anti dynasty. Oh, okay. The Chiefs won last year. Although if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl this year, I do win $500 from a bet I made preseason. You should definitely want that done. But I just like the Chiefs are like the evil

empire. Now they win all the time. Is there any part of you, Brian, that's like someone was talking this weekend about how they don't want to, they had a chance to go to the game, but they're Chiefs fans. And so they didn't want to go because they can't watch the game as easily

when you're at the stadium, as opposed to on TV, you can get up close and part, like you can actually watch the game. Is there a part of you that's kind of like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to really watch it? No, because the Super Bowl in particular is always

you can't watch it. If you have a Super Bowl party, I think watching the Super Bowl is one of the worst game experiences of all time because you're at a party, you're eating chips, you're talking to people, and no one's actually paying attention to the game. I'd rather be sitting there on the couch and watching the game in silence alone. Why don't you do that then

most times? Because you gotta participate in society. Yeah, you do have to. Okay, my expectations are, will Allie bring me like a football thing to wear? Because I did not order anything in time. Does she have any kind of... Yeah, of course. She has something red. Bears. It's gonna be bears though. We don't have Chiefs stuff.

Oh, God. Will I be able to buy a Chiefs thing in town, you think? Of course. You're at the fucking Super Bowl. I know. We could probably get you something. I don't know how things work. You could buy one million jerseys at the Super Bowl. You're at an NFL booth. I'm sure that someone can give you something.

Okay. All right. You have ample opportunity to purchase an infinite number of things. That's what I'm worried about. Everything, everywhere, all at once. Okay. Yeah. My expectations are that-

We bought tickets to this Super super bowl game experience which is happening at the hotel where we can uh try to kick a field goal yeah that's when you ask me about that i'm like am i gonna have to like throw things and catch

them and i think there's a lot of stuff there's a lot of stuff it's probably gonna be pretty crowded okay yeah wow well well you'll hear us from the super bowl next week um those episodes

will air i'm very excited about it. Will you guys go on Instagram live if you can over the weekend? Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm going to be Instagramming all sorts of shit. I'm making a commitment to... I feel like you do a lot of stories on

Instagram, and I'm kind of like, I think I should start doing more stories just to remind... Because I post a video every two or three weeks, and then people forget that they're following me. And then posting the stories in between makes people be like, oh, I remember that person. Yeah, main feed, no one... I'm not even about main feeds anymore.

I just want to see stories. Yeah. I think it's got to be stories. Yeah, you can post anything on story, and it'll disappear. There's like no... It's pretty freeing to do stories. I love it. And you can just start doing it.

No one's going to be like, oh, look who's trying to do stories. I love it. And you can just start doing it. No one's going to be like, oh, look who's trying to do stories. You can just do it and then not do it if you want to. But yeah, it's just a way to stay in touch. Your stories are great. They inform me of things. There's funny things in there. Thanks. You're frequently propping up other comedians that I've never

heard of. And I'm like, oh, I want to see what that person's doing. Oh, well, that's nice. Yeah, no, I really like your stories. And then sometimes you even break news for me. I'm like, oh, I want to see what that person is doing. Oh, well, that's nice. Okay. Yeah. No, I really like your stories. And then sometimes you even break news for me. I'm like, well, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Toby Keith died.

Yeah. I mean, I didn't break that news, but I did see that today. And that's really sad. He just performed in December and he died and it's February. Like how could you be doing shows? Oh boy. All right. Well, let's go to the Super Bowl

We'll see you there next week Don't be cut and I'm not doing just anymore I'm just too exhausted trying to figure them out We gotta figure out a new A new sign off Alright brainstorm Yeah brainstorm Alright bye guys

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