The Nikki Glaser Podcast - # 428 Nikki’s IG Explore Page, ’Pelvic Tilt’, Tom Brady’s TB12 Method & Creep CAPTCHAs

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Nikki's dad, EJ, is in the studio. Nikki is not a fan of April Fool's pranks, although her Girl's chat did have a good one. Recently, Nikki lent her expertise to help Anya promote her music, yet she finds herself stumped when it comes to brainstorming marketing ideas for her own endeavors. They take a look at Nikki's IG explore page. Brian helps Nikki come up with a new password to prevent a data breach. Nikki is very much into correcting her 'pelvic tilt'. She has been on a Tom Brady TB12 kick, obsessed with a Noah Kahan song, and wants recommendations for a 1975 playlist. In the Final Thought, EJ shares a story about meeting Ringo Starr. Nikki is reminded of meet and greet pet peeves, and Brian comes in with a solution called the 'Creep Captcha'. . Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Here's Nikki Hello, here I am Welcome to the show, it's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Happy new week of shows It's Tuesday where we are Still like feel like

I feel like it's a Monday Tuesday Does anyone else feel that way? Monday vibes Yeah, like some days we all just agree that No, you felt like you had a Monday yesterday Today feels like Tuesday to you? It's because it was April Fool's Day yesterday. Is that why?

Dad? My dad is here. EJ Glazer is here in studio with me. Hello. Yeah, did you get fooled at all? No, but I fooled Arlo. But my grandma used to always say, the day after April Fool's, April Fool's has finally passed, and you're the biggest fool at last

wow more anecdotes but I don't know what to do with that it's not even that smart or interesting I know it's just no it's okay but I sometimes don't know what to do with stories that people have where they present them

and then I don't know if I'm supposed to be like i love that or like like you told a story dad told a story about his grandmother while we were eating we were eating easter brunch dinner like you know like a late dinner early dinner we're all like eating food putting in our mouths and we're commenting how good it is because um my mom made a big salad but um my brother-in-law matt's mom we're over at his parents house right my brother-in-law's parents so it's like i've never even been there they've been married for you know 10 plus years it's just like you're you're playing on uh what's it called when you play you're playing an away game yeah i'm not used to this field right and it's different people like i know his parents but it's just like you know you're just on your best behavior a little bit but i guess my dad had

an anecdote to share about his grandmother because he cannot let one pass by i seriously predict him like dogs in an earthquake i start barking i can feel them coming i predicted one this weekend that was so good that i heard someone say something and i go, and then I literally mouthed, my grandmother used to say, as you were saying, my grandmother used to say. It was really, it was brilliant. So I've only got a few stories. No, and then this, hold on, I'll get to what you said at dinner,

but this weekend you also said a joke or you said a song lyric or something and I knew the joke. No, I knew the joke. What was the joke that i knew this weekend and you go how do you know that joke because it was a really obscure joke and i go because you've told me a thousand one about the guy who's no you didn't know that one but the guy who's no i didn't know that one it was a different one and i got the punchline and you were like god

you're just such a great comedic mind and i'm like no i've heard you tell that eight times and you go there's no way and i'm like I would never have figured out this old street joke otherwise. And, but this, okay, so we're sitting at dinner and we're eating and we're like, God, this is so good. And my, what did you say? No, well, I just mentioned, somebody said to me, what's the secret to it? And I said, my grandma used to always say when we'd ask her why something was so good, she said, she used to say, I spit in it.

So he, but he kept saying it over. I did not, I said it once. No, no, we said, it was so good. She said, she used to say, I spit in it. So he, but he kept saying it. I did not. I said it once. No, we said, it was said twice. And there was a final one

that really everyone had a full mouth of food and you were like, my grandma just said, I would just spit in it and we were all just like, like eating this like salad. It is good.

My grandma was funny. You should do that to everybody. It's distressing. But it's not good at dinner and I'm not one, a person that really gets grossed out. We, we know that family better than you do. They know our humor. Well, you don't know my aversions, but I felt gross eating that salad after you said that.

You didn't? Do you have that thing where if someone talks to you something gross while you're eating, you can't eat still? A little bit. I have it. I didn't think I would have it, and I used to always get really annoyed when people would quit me. I'm't think I would have it. And I used to always get really annoyed when people would quit me. I'm just making up new things.

They would make me stop talking about gross things while we're eating. I'd just be like, grow up. But it's not even a thing you can really grow up from. It's not immaturity. It's actual like, okay, they're actually thinking about it. And it shows you that you can change. Yeah, I can change. Other people can't though you can grow

i can turn into someone who can be avert yeah well you can get weirder and more neurotic and worse i guess is what it is i think it's cooler to be able to talk about gross things and eat i agree it's fun it would it's because i don't like talking about people like shut you down if you're like yeah you know I had to go to the doctor and they took blood and then I had to get a stool sample and they're like can you not we're eating can you not

can you just stop with the poo talk I'm eating with weenie what's wrong with you even though I just did that to dad what's wrong with you for bringing that up? It was just funny. I'd rather be like grandma and say,

well, I spit in your food, so now what? If they do that to me. I'd go up to people at the gas station and be like, I spit in your drink. Just tell them that. Even though there's no way I could have. I think that's a great prank. April Fool's. April Fool's, I spit in your drink before you drank that. Does anybody else get April Fool's. Yeah, April Fool's. You get shot. I spit in your drink before you drank that.

Is anyone else? Anybody else get April Fooled at all? Brian? No. Trump tried to do an April Fool where he sent an email to all of his followers saying that he's suspending his campaign. Really? That's pretty funny.

Did he really? Yeah, he did. God, he actually had a sense of humor for a minute. Yeah, and at the bottom of it, it said, I will never surrender. Just kidding. I'm never surrendering. I don't think he's ever kitted in his life.

Oh, yeah. What are you doing on that list? Or I guess it was just news. I just donate a couple of dollars. A thousand dollars a month. The oil company does it for tax reasons. The oil company I own. Did you get pranked?

We got pranked. Huh? Oh. A couple of us got pranked on girls chat by Kirsten's mom. Oh, yeah. That was not... God, that was a little too much. Kirsten's mom sent her a text that was like,

we're over at your house and there's a squirrel loose in the house. The quarry's not home. The dogs are freaking out. And then she just let it sit she like forgot to relieve the prank and then kirsten sent us that text and i'm in the middle of talking about something mundane and i'm like oh no kirsten's house is being destroyed right now i can't really finish this paragraph that i was in the middle of being like do you guys think my hair would look like cooler if i got maybe some like so the girls chat is oftentimes you have to like really read the room first and that's why we've instated a thing because sometimes you

want to go on and just dump what's going on in your life and you don't have time to catch up on the 97 messages that have accrued within three hours that morning so and that's not even a fake number it's literally how quickly it happens and so you just want to put in your thing so we we instated a rule where you just say this is a drive-by and that means that you have not had time to catch up you're just dumping something so we are not if someone's grandma died and you're talking about how you don't have any clothes to wear you get forgiven for being out of context because what is kirsten's mom doing on girls talk she's not she just she just sent the text message that her

mom sent her and then she didn't tell us that it was april fools so we're all like i hope your home's okay i know i was like oh poor girly i know her dog so stressed yeah so we were all yeah i got i got i got got by that pretty good i don't like april fools i don't like pranks i don't like we've talked about it before but your brain is malleable to trauma so when you and trauma can be when you think something horrible has happened or you think something out of character for someone has happened so when you see something crazy happen your brain goes through an event and then any amount of just kidding oh my god it was a joke is not going to repair what the synapses that just fired to make something new in your brain

that will haunt you the rest of your life. It's not good. A good April Fool's, I was starting a company in Denver, Colorado long ago and we were selling advertising and we were struggling and a major sponsor ad was like $400. It was a big deal if you sold one.

So I went out to lunch and some of the sales reps put a sale in this bin that was a Chinese restaurant that bought the major sponsor ad for Boulder, Colorado. And it was our first map, first thing we had done. And so I was like, look at this, we sold a major sponsor ad. So I went up and handed the rep a $50 bill and said, you get $50. But I looked at the name on the owner of the restaurant was named Wee Foo You. That's pretty good. It was pretty good. Classic racist Chinese joke in the 1970s. Sorry for that.

Oh, no, no, no. That's pretty good. Yeah, I'm trying to think of times I've been really got. Jokes on you because Wee Foo You went on to found Amway Global and now he's pretty good. Yeah, I'm trying to think of times I've been really got. Joke's on you, because WeFuYou went on to found Amway Global, and now he's a billionaire. Well, I got got at the Mark Twain prize. You'll have to see it live on

Netflix when it airs. Oh, you got fooled? Yeah, we got fooled. We got really had. It was really funny. Really? So it'll be on the show? Yeah, we were, what did you say? It wasn't actually Kevin Hart? Yeah, yeah. It was, I can you say? It wasn't actually Kevin Hart? Yeah, yeah. It was, I can't think of someone else who looks like him. Gary Coleman, no.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's good. He's a short black man. No, it was really, it was good. And we all got tricked. It's just so embarrassing to get tricked because the worst ones is when you get excited and then you get sad. Like that one. Yeah.

That's what they got. Because then the trauma comes after. Of like, okay, I'm not going to trust anymore. Like if someone told you you got something and then they say actually you didn't, like that would be just cruel. Is that a prank even? Oh God. I recently lost out on something.

I'm not going to talk about it yet, but I thought I was doing something really really amazing and then it got taken away and i don't give a shit i don't think i've told you it's not happening i already told you yeah yeah i don't care at all because even though it was the biggest thing i may have done in my whole life uh career wise it's like it's just not time. Or like the times I've missed out on meeting Taylor Swift. I thought I was going to meet Taylor Swift or I thought I was going to meet Travis Kelsey.

I thought if you want to hear that story, you got to listen to the Diamond Players special intrusive thoughts episode that's behind a paywall, $5 a month, if you want to become a big money players Diamond member. Some real goss about Bosch on this episode. Guys, don't give it all away. Well,

we keep it there. We do keep it there. If you listen to A Truth of Thoughts, you know the rules. You keep it there. You don't talk about it on the message board. You don't talk about it to other Nikki Glaser podcast fans unless they are like in the secret of silence. Yeah, you don't share it publicly. It's like our one place where we can

really spit fire really so there's another it's a paywall it's like 20 minute podcast extra once a month where you get another reason why this this particular takeaway doesn't uh hurt as much i think is because you know it's not all on you like you know the other people that were involved here are great and are big deals. So it's like, it's not just you. Even if it did fall on me. Okay. Yes, that is true. That softens the blow when it's like a collective team, team failure, I guess, or whatever it

is. Like it's. Everybody feels shitty. Yeah. But like, also, even if it was me, I don't care because I, it, it't it's okay I don't I don't need everything this business has to offer I think there are some people that are like I need to make tens of millions of dollars and I've got to play arenas and stadiums or and I have to have my own show like this or have this many followers I just don't I don't know why I don't care about that right now,

but I do care about some stuff and I don't know what the difference is. You do care about podcast listeners. Yeah, but I don't actually, I don't look at the numbers at all. If you, if you know, you might not know this about me,

but I don't know how many people listen to the show. It's not that I don't care. I love all my listeners, but it, in my mind, I don't even have a number. to the show. It's not that I don't care. I love all my listeners, but it, in my mind, I don't even have a number. So if you told me a number, it wouldn't even disappoint me.

It would only disappoint me to be honest with you, because in my mind, the number could be infant ismal. So I don't like to know numbers. In fact, my dad comes to my shows a lot and we'll be in the green room beforehand. And I'll be like, so how many tickets do you sell a night? Which is a normal question to ask. No, I, when it's sold out i'll be like so how many tickets you sell tonight

which is a normal question to ask no no i when it's sold out i say so how big is this no no no no no no this happened one time did it yes you go because first of all you know your daughter and i don't sell poorly so it's you weren't stepping into a trap right of me being like i didn't sell any tickets but you did ask and i like, I don't want to know. I don't know until I walk out there because I can't do anything about it. I mean, I guess I could. They asked me to send a video

to promote my April shows. They being the promoter company. Yeah, no, the promoter who does like covers a bunch of shows. And they asked me to like, hey, will you make a video to tell more people about april shows yeah and this came through on thursday and i had this weekend off which means no hair and makeup like i'm not looking pretty at all this weekend for any reason

um and i just don't feel like it i don't i don't i don't know how to make... Hey, guys, in April, I'm going to be in... I can't even think of the names right now. Temecula, California. And then I'm going to be in... Not Port Chester. I'm going to be in New York. You're going to be in Huntington. Yeah, Huntington, New York.

Where else am I going to be? You're going to be in Indiana. No, no, no. That was just there. Yeah, yeah. St. Louis, Missouri. April 27th. Waukegan. Illinois. am i gonna be you're gonna be indiana no no no that was just there yeah yeah st louis missouri april 27th walk hegan illinois um it's hard for me to because when i watch other comedians do them i kind of go like oh how are you gonna make this creative because it's so desk it's just

hard to make that fun it's people people like it they want to know so don't feel don't feel like you're a good thing about how someone said, if you're having trouble promoting yourself, imagine you work for an ad agency and you just got your name in front of you and you pretend you're someone else. Oh, yeah. That always works.

It works for everything. Yeah, it really does. If you just do someone else's homework, I used to do with my sisters. This weekend, Anya and I got on the phone and I came up with a marketing scheme for her next album and she because she was like totally stuck in being like i don't even know what to do and just having those like doubts that you have about yourself and then i just said a couple things and she was like oh my god that makes so much sense and i was

like why can't i do this for myself and then i did i came up with an idea but i haven't gotten the video edited yet i gave it to someone i had my parents do a review of my show that they saw in cincinnati to promote i think that's a good idea to be like hey here's what you're gonna get from a nikki glazer good girl tour final stages of the good girl tour performance and my dad said i said what was your favorite part of the show my dad said just you know having daughter walk out on stage, seeing my daughter walk out on stage. And I go, okay, well, can you make it an experience that anyone else who isn't my father?

Well, you didn't tell me what it was for. I know, I know. You just walked in after going to the bathroom. I was already interviewing mom. It would be great if you gave that to people during your shows. You can let your daughter walk on stage. I should allow that for an extra 50 bucks. You can have your daughter come in before the show starts and we can intro her with her favorite song.

Wow. That'll be way more than 50 bucks. I didn't want to say my favorite part was Brian opening. I didn't want to say that. That would have been funny. That would have been good. Yeah. So I gave them that video, but then I realized you gotta be in it to get people's eyes.

Rather than just put up a poster with you. If they see just two older people, no offense, in a poorly lit kitchen, no one's going to be like, what's this? Because it's muted for them. They don't even know the context of it. So I'll have to have some kind of image first or something. It's easy. It's easy.

You show you. You show you. You go, I'm going to ask my parents, blah, blah, blah yeah and you even have it in the title point of view you ask your parents about your show or whatever in the title that's on the screen and at this point people want to see your parents they do but they just have to know it's my parents before like they can't if you just saw them and you're not familiar with my parents if you know my parents you'd absolutely stop on the video because they're fucking gold in terms of comedy but if you don't know them you just be like you know you need shiny things even i need shiny things that's why i don't like to be on

camera with no makeup and just like a sad gray sweatshirt on and just that is not going to catch the eye that's why i always used to like andrew used to promote his shows or do his cameos like in a dark room and i'm like it's fine because you get the job done but like it does have to be visually interesting there is a good lighting is essential for good um fast oh and fast moving not really fast but fast cuts yeah people taylor swift but put her in it and i'll get taylor swift and you're really literally anything with her in it and I'll get views literally anything with her in it shows up on my feed and people send me stuff all the time

well that's your feed my feed I don't get any Taylor Swift things do you not do you get Sydney Sweeney's gigantic tits I get those constantly oh you can teach the algorithm very quickly they learn that you are fascinated by her boobs in fact i've

so many they've i've been watching swinney swinney so much and her big boobs but it's not even i'm watching her boobs i just like her face and like how she talks like i'm trying to work on an impression of her that was horrible but um i am gonna nail it at some point but um the algorithm thinks i have big boobs because it sent me a targeted ad for big bras that are d triple d through like quadruple f and they're like for you girl and i'm like funny it's targeted ads are so fast what we should do when we get back from break is go into your instagram open it up and then click on the search and see what's being suggested to you right now let's go to our yeah our suggested embarrassing It can be embarrassing.

Sometimes you don't want your boyfriend or girlfriend to be looking at over your shoulder. Dude, I read about it on Reddit last night. There was a girl that was like, hey, I saw my boyfriend's explore page and it was all 14-year-old looking girls. And then every I was like, okay, he's busted. Like, he's

definitely looking at that stuff because otherwise it wouldn't show up. And then everyone in the subreddit was like, no, they just send me stuff sometimes and I don't even look at that. I'm like, no, I'm sorry. My explore page kind of freaking nails it. So true. Okay, so let's look at it

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I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe,

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Okay, we're back. I'm pulling up my explore page. You have to do it too, Brian. What is the explore page? That's like where you press on the little magnifying glass right here.

And it has all like different videos that you would like. Is that on Reddit you're talking about or Instagram? It's on Instagram. Okay. Okay. So my first one is a man in his car and it's like a therapy video and it's just the title is how to stop oversharing.

So nailed it. And then there's, okay, so let's see. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13 boxes I can see. How many of those boxes, and 13 by the way, Taylor Swift, how many do you think are Taylor Swift out of those 13?

10. At least. Yeah. One, two, three, four, five. Only five. I have two. I have two Taylors. Oh, my God.

Yes. Dad? Explorer page? Yeah. You press on the little magnifying glass at the bottom. Paul McCartney okay he's your tail and i see christopher hitchens okay he's another tailor for you richard dawkins yep okay you're like coming out of this pretty well any any sexy material i don't have my glasses on

right now can i see any sexy material is that what you just said like if there's any like oh no it's like paul mccartney okay there's one girl that's kind of like hot but it's like a prank show or something billy crystal paul mccartney you have three paul mccartney so you have a george harrison you have a ricky gervais it's all beetles you have a jerry garcia and you have a bill hater and you have um eckhart tolle who's wow um the power of now guy who talks like this and i don't like his force and i can't listen to anything because he has the biggest bubble in his mouth literally eckhart tolle holds the key to my happiness in his brain and i cannot get through any of the books

because they are too the weird they're the wording is just too, I don't know. It doesn't connect with me. And then I try to listen to him talk and it's like- Who is he? A self-help guy or something? Play that video of him. Let me go to it.

It'll be like this. Yeah, he wrote The Power of Now. So it sounds like Robert F. Kennedy. I can't listen to that. No, Robert F. Kennedy is a different, like that's a damage. This is just a- Inside inside yourself take one step oh man nailed it take one back step who could listen to that everyone people like get better because of that voice okay um then i have a um uh i often have a lot of people who i've talked about this before disfigured

people people who are um gravely obese um and who are living with like bodies that make them very noticeable in public and maybe feel shame but they're like they're really uh outspoken about it so like i have really people who are horribly disfigured or really, really obese talking about like, I love myself. So I have a lot of that, which I think is good.

Who else besides Seth Rogen do you have? Boom! Slam Seth Rogen for no reason there. That's a funny choice for that one. Yeah. I know. You are horribly disfigured. No, that was a safe one

because you don't want to pick someone who actually is ugly. No, no, no. He's definitely. I haveison talking about probably hugh hefner raping her i have um and then i have a lot a lot of glute workouts that's oh yeah not that it looks like i'm a pervy dude because it's all women and their glutes oh yeah um yeah do you watch glute workouts on instagram tons tons and do i do that long enough no um what do you mean like a preview of because it's only like a preview or a highlight of a glute workout no it's just like a mean irish woman yelling at me about like if this is the way

you're doing your glutes you're not on the right track you girls are wasting your time in the gym if you're not doing a lean forward what are you even doing and she she does not sound like that but she is really aggressive and really mean and i love her because she just like yells at you about thinking you're cool at the gym and um and i've become obsessed we'll talk about it in a second i've become literally my new obsession is um fixing my pelvic tilt which has a lot to do with my glutes you know what that is brian oh yeah i know about pelvic tilt yeah which has a lot to do with my glutes. You know what that is, Brian? Oh, yeah. I know about pelvic tilt.

Yeah. You do? Well, I had chronic pelvic pain for six years, so I know everything you can do with a pelvis. What kind of pelvic tilt did you have? I don't know. I just know about the- Anterior or posterior?

Posterior. Oh, I don't know. I just know an exercise, several pelvic tilt exercises I have done in the past. Okay. Well, I need to know what tilt you have because my dad and I, I got it from my dada. It's my fault. We have posterior pelvic tilt.

No, it's not our fault. I don't have any pain from it. Let me be very clear. Posterior pelvic tilt. When your pelvis, if your pelvis is neutral, it's just like this if you're watching the video, right? It's like a board is just floating neutrally in the air. And if you have posterior pelvic tilt, that means that board goes like this. And your glutes tuck under and it tips forward.

Or no. No, that's sorry. That's anterior. Posterior is back. So if your hips are like a bucket of water, there's water spilling out of your back because your pelvis is tilted back. And that makes your butt look smaller.

It makes your butt look so small. So this has seriously changed my life because my whole life I've been like, I know I don't have no butt, but for some reason when I do have a butt, it never shows up. And why do some girls have like such a small butt, but you can still see it.

There's like, there's their back and then it goes whoop and there's a slope and then their butt. It's because they have anterior pelvic tilt, which is what most people are trying to alleviate. Posterior pelvic tilt is the other one and it makes your butt go under and it makes you look like a banana because your hips are going forward and your butt is tucked in. And I am on a mission to reverse my posterior pelvic tilt, which I have had my entire life because we saw videos from my childhood. You saw the tilt of a young girl. This weekend, and I had it at 11.

Can you achieve that, though? That's really doable. It's going to be so difficult, and it is an hour of added stretching and rolling out and concentrated strength training. Who told you you could do this? Me. Really? Yeah.

Eckhart Tolle told her. He said, if you want to achieve it. Yeah. He said, he would just say, don't even. No, pretty much everyone told me that it's not gonna be possible like all my teachers and stuff

but I've become like obsessed with Tom Brady because of the rolling out hell yeah and because of the stretching and pliability method that he's obsessed with

and TB12 also has posterior pelvic tilts so TB12 is this a is there a book out that shows this yes there is a book and I got it

and I'm reading it religiously and pouring over every word. I'm obsessed with Tom Brady. Have you done it, Brian? He is not an athlete. Oh, Brian, don't even, he's going to get his copy. I got mine too. It's a gigantic book.

It is a Bible. It's a textbook. Oh, he's getting his foam roller. I have mine with me too. Mine's a half one. So a lot of rolling of muscles and stretching. Yeah, I can't. I've got his vibrating rod.

Yeah. Okay. So because I'm fixing this posterior pelvic tilt, I always have to be aware of what my pelvis is doing. And in order to keep my pelvis in the right position, I always have to be thinking about it. It's not something that I can let go of. Like you have to be focused because I will always go back to tipping backwards. So you just walk with your butt sticking out. Yeah, kind of. But it's very hard to maintain that when you're doing a 30 minute workout on

a treadmill where you're like trying to actually exert yourself in other ways. So I went from doing a really intense workout, 30 minutes, walking on an incline, running on an incline, so brutal, so good. And now I walk at a gingerly three miles per hour at a very small incline because I have to keep this posterior pelvic tilt. It has slowed down everything. All of my Pilates is now,

like I look like the biggest beginner because I will not do any exercise in which my pelvis is not in the right spot. And it's so hard to keep it there so now your stomach will stick out well that's what they say but I if you tone your abs right it will not stick out because you got if you don't have a pooch it won't stick out and I'd rather have it stick out I love that duck walk where girls just have a that butt sloping off and like the belly in the front i like that look i want that look but how did you find out about tb because i remember you talking to me

about tom brady's workout when i was diagnosed that heart condition i was told i can no longer lift heavy weights and so i went on a search for a resistance bands workout and it just so happened to coincide with when tb12 came out and so came out. And so I got all the resistance band stuff. Well, actually, it was a little bit after that. So I got the resistance band stuff in like 2019. And then if you recall, the next year COVID happened. What? Yeah, COVID happened in 2020.

And the gyms closed. You couldn't go to the gym anymore. And then there was a run on things like resistance bands. Right. And you couldn't get them. There were all this backlog supply chain bullshit. Oh my God. But I already had all the TB12 stuff at home

and I had canceled my gym membership because of the heart condition. So TB12 saved me from being able to work out throughout COVID with all my stuff. So how much, I haven't gotten way into the book, but I'm familiar with, like he talks about pliability more than like- him he yeah he became obsessed he met this um this body mechanics guy named alex something yeah and he taught him about this really important part of

you know athletic uh healing and stretching training which is pliability. Like you got to get into the muscles and like mash them up and make them gummy so that they're able to stretch. And then they're able to be pliable so that the tendon that might have the injury on it is not being pulled. All the other muscles are stretched out so that tendon isn't being pulled by those muscles around it. So he does this method. Like I was watching this video last night of him with his other

teammates and he's trying to get them on board with it and they're all just like whatever man he's like getting rubbed out and massaged i'm just like why would they not trust tom brady a person that went in and was the 199th pick sixth round draft pick had no business ever becoming the tom brady we know has like not a natural athletic build didn't have really any natural talents that people were like these i mean he has natural talents but he doesn't have he's tall but he doesn't have the build yeah but he's tall but he does not if you look at his draft report yeah it's abysmal in terms of describing his body yeah no they really ripped into his body it was like a middle school girl describing him.

Yeah, yeah. You know who else is the athlete that did all that? Like Djokovic, who's getting old. And he is a big proponent of flexibility. Yes, calisthenics. He has some instructor from his home country. I guess it's, he's from Sarajevo or something. But anyway, this woman has been his mentor for 30 years.

It's all about stretching and how flexible he is. Flexibility is huge. There's this amazing video of Patrick Mahomes' trainer where he was tackled during the playoffs in a really awkward way where he got bent over kind of like a crab walk. You know what I'm talking about? His hands are protruded and he's on his, like basically doing a crab walk you know i'm talking about like his back like his hands are protruded and he's on his on it like basically doing a crab walk and he was tackled and pushed that way forcefully and he just

like hopped up and he was fine so then his trainer posted a video on instagram being like the reason why patrick mahomes didn't get hurt on that play is because of this and then he showed a super cut of patrick mahomes practicing that stretch over and over again for like five years it's incredible that's what they do that's what Tom does is like he practices

like you know when you're lifting weights like how often are you lifting things like this in your life or like like this we do this in Pilates all the time you have to do actual movements that your body really does yes but do you roll out brian not as much as i should but i rolling out is fucking next level dude chris has been obsessed with rolling out for so long and i just have to

watch him roll out for like 40 minutes like we'll just be watching tv and he's rolling out that's great ball he has so has so many watching TV. He could do like a, uh, a project, a sixth grade project of the planets with all the balls he has in this bag, the different sizes, I swear to God,

a diorama. And I'm, I'm rolling out right now. I have one underneath my thigh because you should always be rolling out. Like I love holding it in a place. And sometimes I'm not kidding you, if you are a sober person and you want to trip a little bit, hold on to a pressure point around your hips or something. Lay on a ball. Breathe and then become dead weight.

You don't realize that you're tensed up so much because it hurts. Oh, yeah. weight like you don't realize that you're tensed up so much because it hurts but if you let yourself if you really breathe and let it go and become dead weight and let that ball get into that area you will see stars and be transported into that solar system that chris cockney has in that bag i swear to god i have i was in parties yesterday and there was one stretch i did that i was just like oh and i was just like hold on i have hold it. And I might have held it for like, it was probably seven seconds longer, but it felt, I just, I was seeing things. And this is just rolling out on a foam roller, just rolling your muscles? Like balls.

Like balls, okay. I lay on my side like this. You can use the vibrating rod. Or the roller. Yeah, or that. That vibrates? That vibrates, really? Yeah, see, I don't agree with the vibrating aspect of it.

I don't think I need that either. I feel like the vibrating aspect is going to, in the future, be revealed to be bad for you. Sort of like how LaCroix is going to give you some kind of problem. Yeah, that would have been revealed by now. No, they just did it for vitamin water zero, for the sugar they put in vitamin water zero. But that's always been bad, right? No, they thought that aspartame was bad and now they're like oh by the way uh stevia stevia i guess is what they sort of like stevia is they now there's all these studies that are like don't drink gatorade zero don't drink vitamin water zero because that sugar is also going to give

you cancer and it's like you wrote me about an AT&T leak. Did you guys hear about that? Yeah. They got hacked. And I go, what am I supposed to do? Like erase my text now that could be incriminating? Well, AT&T is going to provide everybody with software to prevent people from hacking. Class action lawsuit, baby. Yeah, but then isn't that like we all get 19 cents when it's said and done or something?

Do you have AT&T? Yeah. For AT&T? For what? Family plan with Lauren and Matt matt oh really yeah oh so don't use your own data passwords i can't choose another password for christ's sake like i can't remember all this shit do a pass phrase yours is yours should be easy you should just do a pass phrase do it okay all you have to do lyric think of a Taylor Swift lyric. Think of a Taylor Swift lyric.

Okay. The first letter of each word is your password. So if the Taylor Swift work is, um, Oh, that's good. Yeah. And then just to,

just to give yourself symbols, or it was good until we talked about it on a live podcast, choose a number in it and pick a, a, um, a symbol to put on either end or in the middle of it. Just like an exclamation point. My joke used to be I'm tired of coming up with new passwords because it's always like you have to have your dead dog's name and then you have to be excited about it because you have to put an exclamation mark.

You have to be like, Speedo! You have to be excited about all your dead animals. Or Speedo? Is that you? Two question marks. That should be question marks. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do?

I can't do anything with that. When she alerted me of that, I was just like, can I not care? Is this one that I can just sit out and not be like, honey, we need to change everything. Can I just let me be hacked? I know there were like 70 million people that are hacked. 73 million. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, something ridiculous. People get hacked like every week.

I feel like this has happened recently. I know. I guess I should just like stop sending nudes. On anything important. Or send more. Because now this is the time. There's a password that I use, and I still use it on some things, but it says, this password's

been breached. You shouldn't use this anymore. And I still use it. Oh, yeah. That happens all the time. Oh, did it tell you that? Oh, my God. Yeah, I've got lots of breached passwords.

But all you have to do is, on all of your important things, just make two-factor authentication, and you should be okay. Okay. So, like, if you, on your Instagram account, you should set that up. What? You know why that sucks? It's because if you lose your phone, you're fucked. Because everything gets sent to your phone.

So if you go to your laptop to be like, okay, I'll get in my email on my laptop. We sent a code to your phone. Well, that phone is with someone in South St. Louis now. Yeah. Because it got ripped out of my hands and it's been 20 minutes. Sure, sure. So they're probably gone down to swapping it back out. Well, you go that, you bring that to the cloud and you you know they can't open your phone but that tooth enter off uh the two

whatever two factor two factor it's always sending to your phone what are you supposed to do if you lose your phone everything gets sent to your phone well your phone should be backed up on the cloud and then if you get a new phone it's not because because, oh, speaking of fucking TB, I just bought like 30 more terabytes of storage on the cloud because I just don't even know what to do. They just, every so often,

your cloud is full. What do I do? Wow. I spend 30 more dollars a month for more terabytes. Do I need any of the stuff I have? No, but I don't. Why is your cloud so full?

I don't know because I don't, I'm not a boy who has computer head. I don't know how to, I don't know how to get around. What is on so full? I don't know. Because I don't. I'm not a boy who has a computer head. I don't know how to. What is on your phone? I don't know. I don't know how to get around.

I don't know how to get around pictures and videos. It probably automatically updates. I play a lot of guitar and take videos for like 10 minutes at a time. So I bet it's just like really long videos of me playing music. Yeah. And stuff like that. But it still deletes them. I do go through every so often.

But then it's usually when it starts going like it's full you're gonna have to upgrade no matter how much you delete you're always getting that alert soon after again like once it starts coming i think people relate to what i'm saying you can't escape it it's like you can push it off but that jehovah's witness is just going around the block and it's gonna be at your door again saying you're full of storage delete more videos and then you start deleting videos of your niece that you'll never get back and you know like that's when i just go i can't i guess i'm just gonna pay 30 more dollars a month to google for the rest of my life but i mean when is when when will i ever catch this uh chart 30 bucks a month seems like a lot yeah because the options are two terabytes or 10 so there's no five terabyte

range there's no six you either pay i pay five bucks 15 bucks a month i pay 15 bucks now what do you pay and now i'm gonna pay 2.99 for the cloud for apple yeah well now i'm paying 30 a month because i had to go up to 10 terabytes so if anyone wants to you do not store a bunch of child porn i mean what the only thing i hear terabyte is when I'm hearing about reports of child porn. Yeah. I've never heard of terabyte in any other context until I got this email. So I'm like,

I guess I'm, I'm on the dark web or something downloading terabytes of stuff. What could this be? And by the way, my phone can't hold 30 terabytes. So this cloud thing is an illusion. Yeah. Every time I try to ever watch a video on any of my stuff,

it always has to, it doesn't load because if it's too far back, if it's more than a year back, it's just loads all day. They got you useless to me. You're hooked. There's nothing you can do anymore. And I'm not getting rid of that charge.

It's like no matter how much. Oh, is that the same way you eat? It's never going to go down. Now that you're up that high, you're stuck. You're in the clouds. Yep. Just keep paying.

10 terabytes is so much though, Nikki. It's so much. I know. It's so much. Microsoft has 10 terabytes on their entire server. I know. The Pentagon has fewer. You can outsource your terabytes to someone else's company to get your guitar videos saved.

But I'm tired of seeing that fucking thing pop up and I'm tired of deleting things that I might need. Like I deleted, I accidentally deleted one of my guitar videos I remembered was a song that I had written and I had put nowhere else. So now I'm just putting my songs in my voice memos. I'm not filming them anymore.

I'm only just filming practices. Good idea. It's just like, you just can't fucking win. And by the way, who, I'm not going them anymore i'm only just filming practices good idea it's just like you just can't fucking win and by the way who i'm not going through any of this footage i have like three printed pictures in my entire house i rarely go through my photos if it ever happens it's because my phone has decided to remind me of a memory when i was younger and hotter on a day where my period's about to start and i don't really need to see that shit.

It's just a year ago. Do you ever get the year ago message? This is what you looked like and this is how happy you were or whatever you were doing a year ago. For me, it's always like, here's you when you were in the woods. It's just a montage of you. It's called In the Woods. like name it that among the trees

it's like well the same thing that would happen if i was missing i speaking of in the woods or like i was gonna say stick season there's a song i love called stick season and um by noah khan and i became obsessed with it i think last year but it's a song I love called Stick Season by Noah Kahn, and I became obsessed with it, I think, last year. But it's a huge hit song. I played it for you before, Dad. He's really good. I saw him on Austin City Limits recently.

Oh, you liked him? Yeah. He's so good. But he blew up because of that song on TikTok, and I was listening to this podcast that I discovered this weekend. I had heard about it before, and I think they have a TV show, too. It's called Song Exploder, and just talked to a bands about one song it's like a 20 minute podcast to talk to the artist about how this song came to be and the process behind recording it and making

it and he was talking about that one and he was in la recording like a pop popish kind of album which he's been trying to do since he got a record deal right out of high school and it didn't go as planned and he's from vermont he was out in la putting the final touches on this album that he was not feeling good about it wasn't like his authentic sound that he like wanted to sound like and he was feeling really lonely and he was and i like him as an artist because in his music he talks a lot about being depressed and like anxious and wanting approval it's just very honest stuff and he was saying that he was feeling... I'll finish this story when I get back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.

It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the

holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season.

We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. So Noah Khan's talking about um what what this pop this song that was like one of the best it was named nominated for song of the year at the grammys this year he didn't win but it was definitely worthy of a nomination and he was wanting to get some attention on tiktok

because he's feeling lonely in his airbnb in la and he just wrote the verse to this the song and then he put it on TikTok and it was just the first verse not even a chorus and then he went to bed and he was like kind of scrolling and looking at it and like it's getting barely anything and he's like I'm such a loser like this is a verse about being a loser because I wanted to be honest about how I'm feeling and now it's like not even doing anything and then he went to bed and he woke up in the morning and it was like had 500 comments which was like a ton for him for anyone and then it just blew up after that and everyone's like we want the chorus give us the whole song he's like i don't even have a whole song this was just like a little ditty thing so he's like okay fuck i have to like write the rest of it so then

he wrote the the chorus and then he put that out and they were like we love this and he's like oh god no i have to write second verse and a bridge and so it was just because of putting it out there he he had to finish it because people were demanding it and thinking that there was more to be to show that he was holding something back but he hadn't even written it so i thought it was really interesting so if you put something on instagram like that couldn't somebody just steal that song from him and say, I wrote this? Yeah, but then it would be archived as him having had it. People have done that with my cartoons. I had my Big Al Ford F-150 video someone shared on Reddit, and it was on the front page of Reddit.

It was the number one thing on Reddit for a day, and they didn't tag me. No one knew it was mine. It got hundreds and hundreds of thousands of likes. Damn. So rude. And then people in the comments were like, we need to tag this person. This is Brian Frangie's video, blah, blah, blah.

And then a lot of people in solidarity subscribed to me on YouTube because I was fucked over, but like 1% of the people follow me on YouTube that would have. Yeah, had it been properly tagged. Well, it wasn't stolen. It was absolutely stolen in terms of that person got a lot of upvotes

on their account, but no one and maybe people did think that person had posted, but... What do upvotes do for you? On your account? It gives you karma. It goes back to your account? Yeah, like if you post something and get upvotes or if your comment gets upvotes, you just get, it's meaningless.

It's kind of a joke. It's just like likes on Instagram. Exactly. It's just like likes. But it all builds towards you having a bigger following. And upvotes help create what is popular on Reddit. So I upvote things all the time to be like, I'm voting. It just moves them up in the

hierarchy. Yeah, you're pretty much voting of what you think is cool and encouraging. It's just social media capital, which is intrinsically worthless, but ultimately leads to real life things. Yes. Understood. Yeah, so I guess, yeah, there was another song exploder I listened to of the song I'm currently obsessed with called The Birthday Party by the 1975. And I really liked, I found it from Reddit, actually. I found this song so uh i read it

suggests threads to look at and 1975 is always one that they're just showing me random i don't listen to the 1975 a lot i obviously knew matt healy dated taylor swift and i like some of their songs but there was this one that was like what's your favorite 1975 lyric and i always read those posts because i just i like lyrics and one of them was like um i thought i was in hell in a in a boring conversation with a girl named mel about her friend in cincinnati named maddie as well and it was just cool because it was like maddie natty as well and um it was just a cool rhyming scheme and i was like oh that sounds like an interesting lyric and it's a the song called the birthday party it's just about these mundane conversations and like that he's having with

people at this birthday party and one of them is like his he runs into his friend and they were like um he tells maddie maddie being the guy from the band he's like oh yeah my friends were going to go to your pine grove show but they didn't know about all the weird shit so they just left and like about i relate to that because people tell me rude things about people coming to my shows all the time. They'll be like, oh my God, I was sitting next to this person who hated you. They left halfway through the show. That was my favorite part of the show is watching these people leave. And I'm just like, that was your favorite part of the show?

Why did you even tell me that? Yeah, we don't need to hear that. So I liked that lyric too. But he said this really interesting thing in the Song Exploder episode about writing that song in particular is that if he writes a lyric that makes him go like like cringe and go like oh my god that's so lame then he has to keep it in because he can't do he can't change any lyric to preserve his ego which i really like so there's this one lyric that says um he goes can we go somewhere i'll be recognized essentially it's not the lyric exactly but he's like hey i'm feeling depressed can we go somewhere

well where people know who i am and he left that in you could tell that was like a placeholder but he probably left it in because he's like i can't take it out because if i take it out i'm protecting me being desperate for attention which is the true thing and i thought that was i i just like artists being like, yeah, I like that. No, you just scoffed at that. You don't like when people take something out. No, I was just reading Jeff Tweedy's book, How to Write One Song,

and he talks about when you can't, if you're struggling with lyrics, just mumble something. And he says, invariably, I leave the mumbles in all the time. And that's where you get a lot of the nonsensical lyrics. That's how everyone writes, I've learned. What I've been studying is that they come up with a thing

and they're like, I got stuck in a bell. Like it just comes out from mumbling. Right. Which is, I would never have thought how people- You can refine some of it, but some of it you just leave in and say what the hell. Yeah, because a word will just come out that you're like,

oh, that just fits perfectly and it just comes out of nowhere. I can relate to getting stuck in a bell too so hard yeah well well i can imagine that could be a yeah that could be a uh metaphoric thing of being stuck in a bell it's like clanging around yeah yeah um yeah it's really paints a picture um but yeah i think that i think that's a good thing to do is that if some if you want to take something out or if you want to like not say something because it'll be like it'll make you look stupid nope you got to keep it and i think that's a cool rule for an artist artistic rule yeah it really is well it makes it it honestly makes him look uh foolish sometimes and he is

like a really vulnerable performer and i think that's why i'm becoming kind of obsessed with the 1975 i've never heard of 1970 it's a band yeah every song they have sounds different which i think is actually really cool too it's like you can't really pin a sound on them i if if if there are any besties that are 1975 fans i'm going song by song i'm becoming obsessed with each song as i go i can't really take on a whole bunch but if you like a specific if i like change of heart birthday party the city and girls what's the next song i should listen to that's what i want to know final thought dad do you have any recent obsessions wait a minute can i enter can i kindly interrupt mr glazer before we got started on the podcast, you were going to tell me about a certain autographed item that you

never got. I was at a plane. I was flying to the, we were lucky enough to go to the can film festival for a few years. The independent film channel channel used to take us over there. So we were flying first class over to Nice, France, and we're in the ambassador lounge in LaGia, and we see Ringo walk by.

And we're like, there's Ringo Starr. My dad's a huge Beatles fan. Like the biggest showman. And then we saw Ivana Trump walk by. And so we got on the plane, and I walked by the plane, and Ringo is sitting two seats in front of me in first class service. And so I thought, it ruined my whole flight. It's a nine-hour flight. My heart was like palpitating. I'm sitting there like, okay, when Ringo goes to the bathroom, I'm not a person to bug celebrities. But I thought, when Ringo goes to the bathroom,

I've got to go up and stand in line. So when he comes out, I'll see him. And so I was sitting there planning the whole time. They're serving wine. They're serving hot towels on your face and all this beautiful service. And I was just kind of not even enjoying any of it because I wanted to get Ringo. And he never surfaced. So then the flight ensued. God, this guy knows how to hold his pee so he's not bothered. So I found out subsequently, and I'll tell the story first. So my big chance was after they served the meal and they watched the movies and everything,

the pilot says, okay, we're going to turn the lights off now so everybody can get some shut eye before we land in Nice. And it's like two hours away from Nice. And so right when the lights went out, if you know the Beatles' white album, Ringo, at the very end of the John Lennon song called Good Night, Ringo says, good night, everybody, everybody, everywhere, good night. Oh, that would have been so good for you to say. That's what I said.

You did? So as soon as the lights went out and the pilot said that, I went, good night, everybody, everybody, everywhere, good night. And the whole plane erupted in laughter, my section. And I thought Ringo would at least look up and look back at me. I got nothing. So the stewardess came over. The stewardess came over.

The stewardess came over and I said, hey, so what happened? Where's Ringo? She said, he took a drug. He's knocked out. He has headphones on and he has a sleep visor on. And he's been knocked out the whole flight. He's doing a Nikki Glaser impression. Yeah, he's calling her Nikki.

Exactly. So he didn't get to see it. So anyway, we landed in Nice. Oh my God, wait. Did it just occur to you today that when the lights went off? Or were you like, I will do this? It just came to me. Okay.

Because it was- He's a big fan. I don't know. Yeah, I guess. But anyway, so we landed in Nice after the flight. It's six in the morning there. Everybody's totally tired. It's two o'clock in the morning our time or whatever.

And Ringo and Ivana Trump are standing there right in front of the baggage thing where the baggage is coming. We're all waiting. And a friend of mine was with us. And I'm like, I'm not going to ask for an autograph. So he said, I'll go get one for you. And he's kind of a goof. He was saying, was Ringo a drummer? And I'm like, yeah, get out of here.

Oh, God. You sent that guy? That was right. So he walked over and said, hey, my friend really wants an autograph. Oh, humiliating. That's the worst thing asking yourself. And so Ringo gave him an autograph, and he said, would you personalize it? And Ringo said, I don't personalize. And he said, he'd really like it. And

Ringo said, do you want the autograph or not? Yes. And I think that was the death knell for Ringo saying,'ll never autograph I'll Never give another autograph soon after he Said no more peace and love it was Shortly thereafter but anyway one of the Last ones the weird thing was we're all Waiting for our baggage everybody wants

To get the hell out of there and of Course Ringo's bag came out first Ivana Trump's bag came out first they they Both exit the airport and we're sitting There for another 20 minutes waiting for Our bags right celebrities get that kind Of treatment it was pretty cool well if they both exit the airport and we're sitting there for another 20 minutes waiting for our bags. Right. Celebrities get that kind of treatment. It was pretty cool to see.

Well, that fucking dick. I hate when people get an attitude when they're already asking for something for free and inconveniencing this person. I swear to God, at our meet and greets, my biggest pet peeve, I only have really one. Aside from people grabbing my

ass when they shouldn't or like grazing it when they know when they shouldn't when should they um good question brian that's a good point every 10th person gets to grab her ass it's a new rule sometimes if a girl asks like can i do no i would never really want anyone to grab my ass because i'm still working on my pelvic tilt but yeah um it's hard to find you have to go dig into that now no i would but i'm working my pelvic tilt well that's when anyone does grab my ass i know it's actually not by accident like oh i just touched it because it's like you gotta go looking for it it's like you gotta you gotta press it under yeah you have to go under so what's your biggest pet peeve so my biggest pet peeve is when matt is matt is my tour manager taking these people's cameras to take photos and he does a good job and it's always a girl

no offense girls but what the fuck i know you have a good side and i know you like the picture be taken from above just say it politely hey can you do you mind if you do a higher angle that would be so great thank you so much that's how you asked for that not um higher angle please higher angle is this guy new has he never photographed a woman before uh and then grabs it from him looks at it and goes no not even and then hands it back and like oh god this is a calm i'm not kidding you it's a common thing that i i would say twice every meet and greet. There is a woman. It's never been a man.

I would say it was a man if it's ever been a man, but men do not care about pictures. We don't have good sides. Yeah. Inside your wallet. And so that's all you're good for because you make more than us. Okay. So, but yeah, there's always a woman that's like one or good for um because you make more than us okay so but but yeah there's always a woman that's like one or two women that goes um this is horrible looking uh or we need to do

this again and no please no thank you and i will say sorry i'm sure besties it's a hundred percent of you say thank you after you get your phone back from matt but i would say 90 of people do not say thank you to matt when he hands back their phone. But I would say 90% of people do not say thank you to Matt when he hands back their phone after he takes a picture. And it's like, do you think this person works for you? Do you think this person, they work for me and they're,

but like, just say, do you not say thank you to people when they bring your food or take your order? Maybe they're just excited and they just forget. Also it's rushed. I will give them. It's time limited.

I don't understand. Like it's fine if you don't say thank you. It literally is fine because you're just being, you're kind of being rushed. You have to go get your coat. I totally understand it. They're nervous.

But when you are not nervous and you don't say thank you because these are always people I'm clocking that are very comfortable in this environment and like to come up to me and be like,

I just want to have like a moment with you. Like this is not that big of a deal to me. Like I just want to, we don't even need the picture. Like I just want to like hang. Like have a have a real moment those there's always a that's men men will do that to like make me i think go like really like you want to get to know me

oh my god you're so different than the other men most men want to take a picture i like you want to just have a conversation with me that wastes more of my time when i'm hungry and i've been on stage already for an hour and a half in heels and now i'm out here taking a picture um and you're the last person in line and you purposely were the last person because you wanted to get that extra time with me because somehow it's a gift to me calm down they paid good money to do it no they did not they did not pay money to take up 10 minutes of my time at the very end of the line. I'm talking to a very specific man. Don't defend men who are trying to creep on me. That's so rude.

I am talking about a specific man who waits and lets people go in front of him so that they can have extra time at the end. It happens probably once every five shows. A man tries to wait till the end because they know there's not someone after them. They're being courteous because they want more time. And then they, um, they actually can ask you out on a date afterwards or something. that has happened. And I don't mind that because that's fine.

But like, if you just, if you're trying to finagle for more time, you're not being respectful of my time because a meet and greet isn't a 10 minute conversation. It could be, if you're a girl who's crying and telling me that I helped you with your eating disorder or whatever it is.

And like, we have a moment of course crying and telling me that I helped you with your eating disorder or whatever it is. And like we have a moment. Of course, I'll grant you that time. But if you're just a guy who feels entitled to my time and you're not really a fan of stand up comedy, you just like female comics. I see who you follow. I see the messages like you just like female comics. And not because we have like a different brand of comedy, but because we are more accessible to you than models and pop stars because we are more desperate for fans feel more and because we give you more we talk to you intimately in a podcast setting

i you don't you're never going to be my boyfriend and i don't feel closer to you um and and this is not to say that people that listen to this podcast would not be my friend because you 100 would but this and i am not talking to 99.99 percent of people listening to this podcast would not be my friend because you 100 would but this and i'm not talking to 99.99 of people listening to this podcast right now it is just i'm done with that creep guy i'm done with him i i really can't do it anymore it's gonna ruin the meet and greet for me because it's been happening on the website no creep guys no creeps and sometimes they're your biggest fan they don't know they're creeps tell Matt to make sure the last person in line is a female all the time that's actually a good call

that's a really good call because it always is a man I mean Brian we even had a great great fan come out to a show recently who has been to many shows amazing fan has documentation, t-shirts everything to prove that they've been to so many.

I don't know about this. I even recognize them, kind of. It's true, they have been to so many. I don't know about what we're doing. Are we talking about it? Why? I don't know. I got assaulted.

He grabbed my ass. Oh my gosh. And I couldn't say anything about it because at that point we had already talked to them for 10 minutes. Yeah. And been like, great to see you again. And then we go to the picture

and he puts his hand on my ass. Not a grab, but a firm hand on the ass. What'd you do? Nothing. Because at that point, we've built up all this rapport and I just want to go be done.

And if I were to say something- Yeah, he can't knock his arm and just give him an elbow. It just wasn't, I didn't think the picture would take that long and it ended up taking longer. Next time, elbow him right in the stomach. No that long and it ended up taking longer. Next time,

elbow him right in the stomach. No, because then he keels over and his wife goes, what's happened? And then now his wife is like, wait, you grabbed her ass?

Wait, what? I didn't know you were doing that kind of thing. And yes, I know this perpetuates it and makes men get away with this kind of behavior,

but it's just not my job. I just like, I just want to go eat my dinner. This is why the creepy captcha is perfect because you don't have to know that you're a creep in order to fail the captcha for when you're signing up for vip tickets to get the meet and greet there should be a captcha that you have to solve wait it proves you're not a creep okay instead of identifying stop signs or or motorcycles it's women's boundaries it It's just like, which woman doesn't want to be touched right now? And it's just our

different faces. There's a woman at the gym with headphones in on the treadmill and it goes touch the places where you should talk to and then you just have to touch all the ones that aren't her. Yes. That is such a good idea. A creep

captcha. And let me me say again this is not most people do not come to my meet and greet thinking i am going to think you're one of these people even if you are a man going alone and you are a major fan and you do feel like we're friends that can totally all be true and you are not a creep so um it's a problem because most creeps who think they're creeps are not here's here's how to know if you're a creep or that you're not a creep. If you think maybe you've creeped me out before, you're not a creep because creeps don't consider that. They really don't. When Me Too was going on, I had so many guy friends being like, I'm really worried that I might have Me Too'd someone back in.

And I go, no, you didn't because you're worried about it. Like Me Too men. And then I would hear men that have definitely done that being like, I haven't done anything. And I'm like, you don't even think you have. So it's really one of these problems that the people that are worried to address it don't need to be most of the time. All right. Final thought. Can I say something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in Cincinnati, we did a show at the Hard Rock Casino. And afterwards, this is the whole family reunion. Yeah, Glazer family reunion. Afterwards, I went and gambled blackjack all night long. I heard. And it was cool because there were several people on the floor who came up to me throughout the night, even as late as like 2 a.m. And were like, hey, man, great show.

And I was like, oh, cool. It's almost like I had a little bubble of celebrity on the casino floor because the people had seen the show in that casino that's great so that was fun but there was this guy at the blackjack table who was this is an example it's not a creep but it's the example of that mentality where you're just like what the fuck is wrong with this guy he's getting defensive about him about even being accused of being something he was at the table and you're not allowed to take your phone out when you're playing blackjack because the casino thinks that you're using it to film the cards and

then you can use a computer to predict what card is going to come out next and he kept taking his phone out and the dealer was like you can't take your phone out you can't take your phone out and every time he's like look he said the same phrase over and over again i'm not trying to start any trouble i'm just i my mom was texting me happy birthday like shit like that it's like okay i know you're not starting trying to start any trouble but don't take your phone out and then he one hand later he'd have his phone out again and like no more phone out you have your phone out and he'd go i'm not trying to start any trouble and it's like bro you literally are starting trouble just because you say i'm not trying to start any trouble. And it's like, bro, you literally are starting trouble. Just because you say, I'm not trying to start any trouble.

Doesn't mean that you're not. It's like insane. And I feel like that's how creeps react. That's a phrase. I'm not trying to start any trouble is definitely only said by someone who is absolutely starting trouble. That is, that's a total thing. That's never,

but you know, it's like saying like not to be racist, but okay. Then racist thing follows. I don't want to start any trouble is always someone who's starting shit it's so true and that thing of like like to and when drunk men just latch onto a phrase and say it over and over it really is just so disgusting to me um yeah you reminded me of like when he was like i'm texting my mom matt my sister's husband this weekend, told us that one time he was arrested

for public intoxication in college. And it was two in the morning. He was on his phone. And the cop had already confronted him and was like, get out of the street. And he's like, I'm talking to my grandma. It's two in the morning and he wasn't at all. And the cop slammed the phone out of his hands.

He's like, Nana! And he broke his phone. He broke his phone. The cop broke his phone. He was like, I was on the phone with my grandma. It's like man and he broke his phone he broke his phone he's like i was on the phone with my grandma it's like no you weren't at two in the morning wasted in the streets of lawrence kansas all right we gotta go thank you dad for being here my pleasure it was a lot of fun love you um listen to the podcast tomorrow we'll see you then uh and don't be and uh bye jo, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

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