The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #442 Rachel Feinstein On the Pod, "Big Guy" on Netflix, Wearing the Same Blazer

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Nikki is reunited with bestie, Rachel Feinstein, this time not wearing the same blazer. They chat about Rachel's new special "Big Guy" which is now streaming on Netflix. Her life as a firefighter wife and what it means to be fully comfortable with yourself and saying what you want in front of the mic. Think of it as closing statements after trial. Final thought: emotional tolls and feeling comfortable to open up to one another.  Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Hello, it's me. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. Brian Frangie is not here today. Noah is obviously on maternity leave with her baby Toby.

But I have a special guest with me today who's one of my best friends, one of the funniest people alive. She has a new special out on Netflix that I can't stop talking about. It's called Big Guy. And it's my good friend, the hilarious Rachel Feinstein. How's it going, girl? Good. I miss you. We had so much fun in L.A.

I can't wait to hang again. I know. This is just't wait to hang again. I know. This is just a chance to hang with you, as it always is. I know you've been doing so much press for the special, as I have. Our specials just came out kind of back to back, and in the best way, too, because I just feel so proud of us on both platforms killing it. I said this to you the other day, and it felt like a brag, but you were included.

It was like, we're dominating right now in the streaming service stand-up specials, and we're both like women, and it feels, I don't usually play that card or go like, it feels good to be, like I don't usually think of myself even as a female comic, but there's something about it that i really like and being with you in this kind of group i feel the same way it really helped i think for me that so the rose comes out your set was i mean it talked about everybody went insane for it it was the fucking most perfect rose set standing oh that

got all this buzz that i do feel like it opened up the door a little more like like because that for people to not that for people to pay more attention to my special like it was like women okay yeah thank you for that's so nice and i would never have even thought um that you would say that or that would be a thing that you would feel but i think i mean it opened up the door for me in terms of like now people trust me more to do things so i can only imagine it it has that ripple effect for like oh like like it's not just um i'm just tired of even though everyone makes fun of guys who say i don't usually like female comics i don't like and we all joke about that type of guy they're

all over still they're everywhere it's still no every comment on my on my instagram is like it's still like i mean it's a mixture but on every video there's always at least one person being i usually hate female comics but you're good and i feel like we have to be so we have to you know work so hard and like work on every line and you know and but it's very satisfying when i feel like oh you know it is helpful the more of us the better that uh get more attention to what we're to our stand-up it's all varied it's not just this one long joke about our long-winded gushing periods and yeah i mean ultimately it is because that's what drives and fuels everything is that is the period um do you know an interesting thing i i always like to say about periods that people

don't know is like pms is like you know obviously we get insane around that time we use it as an excuse for like why we maybe uh go overboard or say things we don't mean but my old therapist used to say that pms is just like your your defenses come down but the feelings are true but there's just no wall holding them up anymore so like you shouldn't let anyone if you don't well i mean sometimes you do get truly psychotic and say things you don't mean but there is a crumb of truth to pretty much everything but i will say that um i think sometimes people will negate how we feel or um it is undermined by the fact that we're on our period so it doesn't we're not really

we don't really mean it like they're all they almost not that like women included gaslight ourselves into thinking what we actually feel is not what we're feeling because we're on our periods we we're cool you know what i mean and sometimes like, no, this is actually how I feel. I just am like more, I can't not cry as much right now. So it's coming out. It's like kissing someone when you're drunk. You still wanted to kiss them. Yeah.

It's like fucking somebody when you're drunk. You still wanted to fuck them. So listen up. It's still a compliment or whatever. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's interesting about the drunk thing because I will say that there's times when I've been drunk that I say the opposite of what I mean.

Like literally, like the first time I ever got drunk, I remember everyone the next day was like, you were just gushing all over this girl all night of like how much you want to be friends with her and how much you love her. And I was like, I that's the opposite of how I feel. And I and I watch my mom get drunk sometimes and she does the same thing where she'll i know how she feels about people and she'll say the exact opposite and it's almost like they know because they've never gotten from this from her before so they almost can like tell if they're if they're sober they can tell like this is out of character this is out of line and like i bet she's just saying the opposite which is actually actually maybe you're you're right because because I do think things get more gnarled and mangled when you're drunk. So when you're drunk,

it's more of like, it's raw when you're in a period. When you're drunk, it's just this mangled, gnarled, just this rancid soup. It's so messy. Of every bad, or yeah, it's like a mess.

It's like fucking cocktail of every bad, weird, deranged, unprocessed feeling. God, it's so bad. And the soup just gets hurled. Well, I like your Uber series where you kind of talk to an Uber driver about like just the deep recesses of your mind and your heart. And they are just so indifferent to it. And it's such a funny series that you do on your Instagram.

But that is kind of there's a drunkness in that character. I think that also like that you're not drunk when you're doing it. But I'm saying like for me, that's that's a girl on her period. But also just a girl with like bad bad boundaries which is so or not bad boundaries actually just what you want to connect yeah no but you but that character i also love because she wants to connect and she wants to be heard which is something i think you and i both desperately long for and that's why we like like you're especially related to so much because one of my favorite jokes one of my favorite

jokes one of my favorite things you do is when you reference i usually don't like it in comedians when they reference a joke like they talk about jokes off stage but your it's all i crave from you is your like interpretation of what you were what you thought your joke would do for the world or for your life and then how it failed like any kind of example of that when you say she does this bit about you know the specials called big guy and it's about this nickname that her husband pete has given her and it's just offensive to her obvious for obvious reasons and she comes home at night and he goes is that big guy and she's like yes of course it's big guy who else is it gonna be and so it's. You got to watch the whole thing. I didn't butcher it, but I only gave you a little snippet of it. Oh, I don't care.

And then afterwards, she has presented this joke and said, she goes, I did that joke. And then I went up to Pete and I'm like, did you hear them? And he is like, yeah, fucking killed. Like the line's amazing. So he's interpreting it as like, oh my God god this is such a cool thing that i do this when the whole point of the joke to do it was for you to exert your uh frustration with being called big guy the audience then confirms yes you're wrong and then you get to perform it in front of pete and he gets to see how ridiculous he is and how he's not being like compassionate enough and it's just an example like you can put that out there and then he doesn't even fucking get it it's so funny which is my whole which is our whole relationship in a nutshell

he watches me do that and now that the specials called big guy is like come on you gotta admit it was awesome i'm like no you're welcome it's fucking called big guy because they think it's so ludicrous and that's why it always gets a laugh because it's so insane that you think any wife any woman wants to be called big guy by her fucking husband and he's like nah they like it it's so insane that you think any wife any woman wants to be called big guy by her fucking husband and he's like nah they like it it's solid it's funny but it's not what any wife would ever want to hear so pete you should take that as you're missing the fucking mark as a husband in that regard but they don't take it that way he takes it as it's funny you're welcome like you're welcome i gifted you with that yes Yes. You fucking loved it.

It was solid. The problem is the same cocktail of things that would make a man oblivious enough to think that his wife wants to be called big guy is the same cocktail of issues that remains with the guy that's just happy that a group of people are giving his two words a nice laugh. Like he's not going to delve any deeper. And that is really the crux of our relationship is that i want to always take another lap around something with him to hopefully help him get to the bottom of it but he's just like hey that was a fun ride like it

doesn't work he's just like oh we rode that roller coaster twice and i'm like no i'm still emotionally like i'm i'm shaking with with with what is the word i'm abandoned emotionally, like, I'm shaking with, what is the word? I'm abandoned emotionally by you. It's just like, nah. Yeah, we rode the fucking, we rode the big roller at fucking the park twice. Oh, my God. That's how he sees it. You want to take another lap around.

Like, that's so, it's, you know, what is it about us? Because we're so similar in that way. We are, we got emotionally abandoned as kids you know that about yourself right at this point completely like like that i was what you got oh my god rachel you gotta fucking watch it everyone needs to watch it last night so chris and i like had was have been having a hard time of deciding what to watch at night so many shows are just writers congratulating themselves on their writing it's really i just want people to talk how people talk and i'm just like so distracted by what they thought was a clever quip.

It's the same way girls always make the quirky girl in a movie quirky in a way no girls are actually quirky in some sort of digestible. Like, where she wears colorful scarves and drops things occasionally. And she always trips on that one part of the floor. And she wears, you know, she has a t-shirt on that's kind of ripped on the side or like she has mismatched socks and it's like that's that's her whole personality and it's actually cute like the socks actually match in a way like it's a cute mismatch yes and or she's still like shiny and digestible and i'm like no you want to know what it really is like what causes real friction in a relationship is that, yeah, like I just get into a hotel room and I spray everything like a fucking slug and steep swine pig.

I know. And then he's furious and disgusted. Yeah. I'm like, you opened my purse. I'm like, no, God, no. It's just like liquids, like just mixed with cords and it's fucking foul. Yeah. And I feel like they don't show real shit.

They show what they wrote. What is it? Well, that's I really like if I were to ever do a show i would i i'm kind of dabbling on one right now and i've been lucky enough to work with a writer who i'm working with who like when you know i didn't want to be offensive when i said this about a version of the script but i was like i people don't talk like this and this would never happen she would but i know that we need this scene to like move the, the action,

you know, like, like everyone in scripts needs to get offended at everything right away so that there's some action. Like, you know, if someone's taking a picture, then the person needs to be like,

why are you taking a picture of me? It's like, that doesn't like maybe a version of that would happen, but it has, everything has to escalate very quickly, which kind of works in like a Larry David world where you set up, like everyone's going to be offended by Larry. Larry is going going to be offended by everyone that's kind of the rule of it but when it's supposed to be i just but i was able to tell um my friend like i just want things

to be real like if it really wouldn't happen i just don't want to say it and i don't want to do it so like we can if i'm going to be in this thing i only want to say talk the way people talk and i only want to get offended at real things that people would get offended by and not, because I hate when a character goes from being like a normal person to then they need like some kind of drama in an episode. And suddenly there's this one show called Call In From Accounts

that Chris and I were obsessed with. And I think there's eight episodes and I think it's on Apple or maybe Paramount, but it's called Call In From Accounts. It is so funny. It is so charming. I'm obsessed. Everyone watch it. but in the final to last episode they abandon you because they give this girl who you really like all these terrible friends like not one of her friends is a redeemable

character not one of them and you go i really judge people by their friends maybe that's not the right thing to do but i do and i'm like I hate this girl based on her letting these people in her life that are so rude to her new boyfriend. And I just felt abandoned as a viewer of this, which I know that they who knows what compelled them to do that. But and it was a good episode all in all. And it's an amazing show. And it's like I've done things within my act that like, believe me, I've been here before as an artist. So don't think that I'm judging this and being like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's just a thing that sometimes i notice in shows that makes me

cautious of getting into scripted shows therefore being the reason i suggested like can we just watch the doc i want documentary so the other night we watched the we are the world documentary about how in one night like they brought all these amazing artists together to sing we are the world in a january evening of 1985 and it is an incredible documentary on netflix it's been on for a while i really recommend it but then the other night i'm like i'm craving more of that and i was like okay i've heard about this j-lo documentary now i watched one a while ago um on netflix and this is not the one i'm talking about amazon prime rachel you've gotta fucking watch it if you think you know how to feel about j-lo you don't because

a lot of clips have been taken from this to make her seem like out of touch and such a diva and such a bitch but i walked away and i am someone who has had been very critical of j-lo in the past i like her i like her a lot because she um i forgot i was getting she shows like a really vulnerable side of herself that isn't like, whoa, her without makeup because she's beautiful without makeup. But, and she knows it too. She's not denying that. But there's this side of her

that's like trying really hard to make it. So it's a documentary that just covers her spending her own money nearly like, it's like $30 million to like make this Purple Rain type music video movie of her album that's about getting back together with Ben Affleck. And it's a little bit like, um,

she's in over her head a little bit. She's, she's trying to figure out how to represent like how she has been in pain her whole life and was abandoned as a child and her feelings were not nurtured and how that led her to like look, being coming a love addict. And then she goes to a love addicts, a meeting and they dance in the meeting. Like it's,'s it's crazy but the documentary is all about her getting this

made and i really recommend it to people because what j the j-lo got into this like recovery it seems or is it at least attempted to unpeel the onion that is her um emotional neglect as a child which i think so many people went through, including JLo, including you, including me. And be us even being on stage is like a way to fill that. Right. Like,

I feel like us being on stage and stand up for me, it's like my final arguments to the world. So like, so, you know, I, it's like, it's like,

you know, when you, when you have your final statements and, and, and like a trial, like that's why they always prepare, compare comics and lawyers or whatever. It's like,

it's like I get to go up there and be like, here's how I, here's what happened. Here's how I see it. Here's how I felt about it. And then just be like, you know, I'm finally fully listened to.

So in my, in my life, like, you know, I had like loving parents, but you know, whatever, very stunted emotionally.

And so like if i say something to my mom she always gets wounded like well rachel yeah for example uh my mom and and and pete were sitting in the bedroom this is my childhood in a nutshell okay and i was this person in my family and then they're talking about the drapes in the room right and then pete goes where where are the drapes supposed to fall again and i was like oh i think that like they're supposed to kiss the floor i was like i read that somewhere they're supposed to touch the floor right and then um and pete goes nah i think they're supposed to go like four to six inches above the floor i'm like first of all why would you be privy to that information

you're like yeah you're a fireman from like deep brooklyn who would paint like a fucking like a painting of the founding fathers on our wall if you had a choice right and you just fucking asked me yeah like and then so my mom's standing there and she always has to underline men's reality all men's reality is correct no and she like this is oh my god this is the dichotomy of your mom or the paradox of your mom yeah because she's such a liberal like if you talk about racial suffering she'll do like a horror crawl towards you but if it's like a man's versus a woman's version of a story she listens like this like if you talk about any racial suffering she's like mounting you oh my god dude that's what she connects over it's just like you know you like if i if i was like mom i just had a seizure she

would be like did i tell you that when they really did some real work on uh the statistics of covet 19 that uh african-american women were really the ones that are i'm like i'm i'm seizuring i'm seizuring i'm having a seizure oh i'm going to swallow my tongue, mom. Oh, my God. Your mom is your dad. She would be like, well, yes. I mean, exactly. And then so my mom goes to Pete. Pete and my mom both look around at me like, like I've literally just said to them, you disgusting cunts. That's how they looked at me.

Because you said it's not, I think it's kissing the ground. I think they're supposed to touch the floor. I was like, but not, just like graze it. And they were like. God, I want you to Google this. My mom turned around like she was about to confront the floor. I was like, but not just like graze it. And they were like, God, I want you to Google this. My mom turned around like she was about to confront her attacker.

Like she was a woman that years later was having a meeting with her attacker. You know, like she was like, and then Pete was like, I don't think so.

By the way, they asked me this. I go, no, no, I think it is because remember Jessica's sister, Jessica's sister is like,

she does, she does design stuff. She told us this and I saw it in a minute. I'm like have to give sources by the way five sources to be believed about something I was asked about my mom goes finally is there a reason that you're being so aggressive about this Rachel oh my god she was like it just feels a little hostile like and and they both just hung them the way they wanted to my mom got a little teary-eyed so uh when i was emphatic when i was just like no no that's what it says oh my god that was i always had to have nine sources

i had to bring a team of people like it was an old game show in the 50s like this is your life for a gentle fucking opinion i was treated like a kind of a wild sloven wolf no wonder you want a fucking microphone where no one can interrupt you or disagree with you and if they do they can get kicked out of the fucking room like no wonder that's what you crave because you're constantly no one believes you we gotta dig more into this because there was another j-lo thing that i saw that i wanted you to comment on um i'll i'm gonna send you the video actually on instagram do you have your phone around you okay there's a video of j-lo on the carpet at can that i'm gonna send you we'll talk about it right when we get back after this. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back. So I just sent Rachel this video of J-Lo on the red carpet being asked,

what are you wearing and she's like hauling this really heavy gown upstairs in her delicate heels surrounded by people and she just looks at the girl and says shirapali and then like looks back and it's not nice she's not smiling when she says it it's like if it happened to you you'd probably be like yikes uh that girl's mad at me but um it's just but the only reason you would feel that way is because it's a woman not smiling when she's talking and it's not you know like I do wonder if and then the person that in the Instagram video goes on to dissect it and says if a man were to say this we'd be like he just knows who he is and you know this double standard but um what did you think

about that when I when you saw that I i didn't even realize uh i so i only saw the first part where she asked what she was wearing and she did you think it was rude no i was i thought everyone's like she's so rude i guess people are blowing up about it because they're just looking at her through a lens if she's a bitch and like doesn't have time for regular people or whatever and i've heard some stories to confirm that but i actually yeah i've heard some stories to confirm that but at the actually- Yeah, I've heard some stories to confirm that, but at the same time, and I sometimes think that sometimes women

are being treated like a woman in charge or whatever. And then sometimes, no, this was not nice, you know? And they're using that cloak to protect their- But that would not be an example of that. No. Because she was just using her ground. She just like answered her quickly. Yeah, sometimes-

Forgot to be like, I'm sorry, I'm not your mother. You know, like she was just using her ground she just like answered her quickly yeah I forgot to be like forgot to be like I'm sorry I'm not your mother you know like she was just like answering I'm sorry well that is so true because I feel that too like I think that's why sometimes I um like you know sometimes I don't know lately I've been really just anxious about people asking me to meet people or have to talk to people that I don't know or that I'm not excited to talk to because I feel like I will have to kind of be like extra for them. And like I have to that little thing that I feel the need to put on. Otherwise, people are now going to say something that I'm not that kind or whatever is too scary to me. So then I just don't want to meet anyone because i don't want to abandon myself by having to be that like yeah oh my god that's great like it's not hard for

me to do that at meet and greets when i'm actually meeting people that are exciting me but it's like there are some i gotta say like sometimes women but a lot of men who just like talk and expect you to care and then if you don't they can easily turn on you and not that i really care what this person goes on to think but there was a guy the meet and greet that was like you know what we watched the tom brady brost and when you came on the screen i knew you were coming to tahoe when you came on the screen i thought i paused it and i said to my wife if she kills this we're going and so then you did and i said we are going and i was like oh my god i had no clue how high the stakes were in that moment i'm glad i'm glad i didn't know that your ticket

purchase was going to be dependent on that entire performance because i would have maybe freaked out a little bit i would have gotten in my head and i know it was all but he really presented it like you you were on you know you were on thin ice for a second. But you came through for us. My wife decided whether we'd have a date night in time. Yeah, but I was like, I would have sold those tickets anyway, sir. It did not matter. I'm so glad you paid for the meet and greet to tell me this.

But he also told me like. I get that same thing a lot. Don't you get that all the time? Yeah. I got a guy I'll be like, listen, the minutes i wasn't sure oh my god tell you what by minute four i was like all right i'll allow this kid to continue making a living like i've literally had that exact sentence said to me in every city and then there's a the first part of me the main part of me the very sick gnarled child that i still am, is like, oh good, okay,

thank you then. Yes. I'll keep doing, I'll keep being a comedian. Yes. But there's a lot of like, I didn't know that. Or they'll be like, if you touch one subject

that they weren't sure about, like you started in on that sex stuff and I thought she's just gonna be a raunchy, fucking godless, disgusting pig whore.

But then you circle back, you talk to her about some family and the other night, she's allowed over for dinner in Tampa. Yep, yep. And I'm like, this disgusting pig whore. But then you circle back, you talk to Bessie's family, and I thought, eh, she's allowed over for dinner in Tampa. And I'm like, none of this. I have to leave.

Oh, even when, you're so right about that, that they'll scold you for being dirty, and then they go, but you didn't stay in that. I thought you were just gonna do sex the whole time. Another guy said to me, I thought you were gonna,

I was really nervous. Like, the guy who ran the show said he was really, my friend Lizzieoperman opened for me and she's standing there when he said this he was really nervous that my whole act was just gonna be my my special you and she and she she was like i had to hold her back because she was gonna be like really nervous were you on the side of the stage like is the next joke gonna to be from this special? Like, just all these guys, like, being like, I set you up to fail, but you actually, you surprised me. Like, they're just patting themselves on the back for thinking that they have higher standards than everyone else. When really, sir, you don't. Like, you don't really realize your taste level is not impressive to me. And I don't care.

Yeah, the stakes couldn't be lower, truly. The stakes could not be lower. For someone like this. Whether I did a few too many jokes from my own special and you were stage side throbbing with fear. Yeah, it's fascinating to me. It's fascinating to me. But then I feel like I, you know, but I do get that a lot. I get those comments or I get like couples that come up to me and then they kind of like test me out together that people

people either they're like searching for a threesome yes or the guy's like you know or just the guy wants a picture and the wife is kind of mad at you yes and you have to make her feel really comfortable because you feel so bad that she's in this marriage where a guy would ever treat her this way so you have to be like extra like like so buddy buddy with the guy so she's not threatened but also like bring her in so she like maybe walks away liking you and then at the end they think i want a threesome and i'm like no i gotta go back to my own hotel room not your fucking ranch style home in des moines i got a fucking card from uh in pair at the paramount theater in um i forget where in new york fuck i forget the city but this couple gave me their business card which had their name on i wish i had it on me it's in

my wallet because i'll keep it forever it's more important to me than my license but it was it said like their couple name like i don't think it was their last name and then on the back it was a picture of them like fucking in lingerie like her ass in lingerie like mounting him and his legs open on like a cuck chair in a hotel room and it was their business card to swing and i was so flattered because they actually didn't like sweet talk me first they just like took a nice picture and then handed me the card if i'd be into it but there are couples that you know they the way the husband like grabs your waist and the way the wife will be like you're his you're his. And I'm like, as we're smiling, you know,

and so I have to process all of this sexual energy coming at me really quickly. And it's, but yeah, that happens to me all the time. And there's a lot of like, where it's like, I'm the fan, she's just along for the ride. And I'm like, oh, this poor woman, you drug here. I'm sorry you even have to meet me now, lady. I always have to tell you one person was on the fence

or that one person's clinically depressed because they got they had to come to you yeah she's pretty angry about this but I'd also like to be inside you so and then they just like and then they just place it on our plate so that we can crunch the numbers of this word problem that they've handed us

that's why that's why it is like taxing and good to sometimes conserve your energy a little bit. So, like, before the shows, I used to be, like, every single comic that's ever wanted to do guest spots does guest spots. I just paid everybody. My friend is always like, stop handing everybody money. So, like, anybody that did five minutes of my show is like, okay, gas money. And, like, I just kept giving everybody, like, and this is when I'm like I'm not making much money

like I'm barely covering my own you know flights and paying out my manager agent everybody and I just keep trying to give money give everybody the right expression give their energy and I'm like I don't know what jokes I'm gonna do like I just need to be still for four minutes and look at like my child just trying to look at my own notes without, like, scrolling through Amazon Prime. Me too. Like, I need to just be calm. Yeah, so I've started to do that where I'm just, like, I bring an opener and then, like, I just close the door. Because you know what?

Even when the doors open, someone's still going to think I'm a cunt. So it doesn't matter. Yes. So, like, there's always a moment after a show where I talk to somebody and I think it went well and then after at the end of the exchange this has been said to me multiple times like I think that I'm doing everything I can to just be present and the thing is I hug people a lot because I am really surprised they're there and I'm like grateful that they're there so I'm like I've now like I've hugged you you know like I've we've talked for kind of a long time I probably showed you pictures of my daughter on my phone because I heard you're a parent, too.

And then now, and now it's kind of a wrap. And I've had people say to me, like, so that's it? Like, so that's all? Is this for on a meet and greet after a show? Yes. And, like, I don't know what to do besides, like, you know, the next step would be, like, you fingering me or something. I don't know what happened. What could possibly be left?

And then I, by the way, they don't probably care that much that they said that to me. Yeah. But I take on every feeling in a room and I have terrible codependence. So I have an issue with like, if two people are making it, having an exchange across the room for me and one person's misunderstanding it. Yes. I'm like, oh, fuck. Wait, he doesn't think she thinks that.

And I think that I'm responsible for every feeling in a room yeah you know because I'm responsible because I you know like I was treated like some sort of like gangrenous wolf when I was trying to explain what I thought the drapes lie right so you're just trying to manage how everyone feels about you all the time and even though it's not your business and it's not

in your control if people like you yeah I feel the same way like I I catch myself doing that less and less like i'm turning 40 on saturday and i just feel like in my 40s i just want to be more secure like i i know that it's like a journey to get there and you actually have to like do the work to get there but i kind of just want to cut to the fucking chase and be someone who doesn't care what people think and is a little bit more just bad ass. But the second I get into that and like have that kind of confidence and walk

that walk and kind of like have boundaries with people, I do start to question. I do start to get feedback that I'm a bitch, you know, and that is uncomfortable to me. Like I do get, I do get that feedback because it, you know,

sometimes it bleeds over into people in my life and they're like you're treating me like you treat like i work for you and i'm like but um can i just treat everyone the same way like i'm not treating people who work for me that way because they work for me i just am not as scared of them because they're not as emotionally entwined with me and maybe that's why i talk to them that way but like i'm gonna talk to you i want I talk to them that way. But like, I'm going to talk to you. I want to talk to I want to be able to talk to everyone the same way. But I mean, I and I there's no answers and no one's ever going to be all happy. And, you know, we're trying. I mean, for fuck's sake, we're doing our goddamn best.

Everyone. So that's the other thing. Someday, someday we'll die is the most amazing name for a special in the world. Thank you. I did not pick it. It was like a thing I said, and it's, you know, the last thing I say in the special,

but it was David jamming. One of my executive producers on it was, we were like trying to come up with a name for it. Cause I was named my specials after, I don't know what you do, but like, it's kind of like, I'll know it when I see it.

And I was kind of just sitting on this one. And then he texted that and we were all like, yeah, that's a great name. Cause it's just cut to the chase. It's kind of like, I'll know it when I see it. And I was kind of just sitting on this one. And then he texted that. And we were all like, yeah, that's a great name. Because it's just cut to the chase. It's blunt. And that's the other thing is I think that sometimes I can be really blunt with people. And that's kind of what I'm known for. I was in therapy yesterday crying about how like, I had two best friends meet each other this weekend, like from different parts of life.

And they both like, were just gushing to me about the other and saying all the things I'm most jealous about the other four. And so it reconfirmed that that thing is something really awesome that I wish I had. Like I get really jealous of people's qualities like that. They're naturally organized or they naturally are graceful or they naturally like have white t-shirts that stay white. Like this t-shirt's already been stained.

I've been thinking about your shirt the whole episode. Don't get excited. I own nothing white. I'm like, how did she do it? No. And I rarely wear it. And I'll take it off right after this because it won't last the whole day. And I have to be like out the rest of the day.

And it will just be, you know, soiled by the late afternoon. But I have these jealousies. I was talking to her about like how these are real things about people. I'm not just, these aren't illusions where I'm like looking on instagram and she just appears that way on the surface like these are actually i'm jealous of people that actually exude these qualities and they both were echoing to me about like oh my god i can't believe how tiny and cute and organized she is and the other one's saying i can't believe what a wild amazing genius mastermind like so two things that i'm like always want people to say about me

mastermind genius quick smart cute little graceful organized and they're both coming at me from my other friend that i'm jealous of that quality of and it just made it kind of got in my it didn't get in my head but it was just something that was kind of irritating me i was getting in like an envious place this weekend of of really just like hating why can't i be like that i wonder they they're just gonna realize that they like each other more than they even like me like what do i bring to this and i was talking to my therapist about how when people say when my friends say like but nikki this is what we love about you yeah we like her because she's tiny and little and so cute and we like her because she's a genius and smart and says really funny

things but they literally i'm a comedian and they say it's you're funny too because the way you like slam things hard and the way you like plop down on things and the way that you'll just be like you'll just say exactly what you're thinking and no one else would ever say that so the thing i'm saying it's not even funny it's just the fact that I say things that are wild. That's funny. Or the way that I'm like, I find that the things my friends really love about me are just like insane, like really Roth house. Like they're funny because they're what they,

they're not desirable. And so, well, you know what? It's also possible that like my therapist will say all the things that my husband gets enraged about because he does not like how messy and slovenly I am. He's like, it's part of your charm.

It's part of your charm. He says, maybe they actually, yes. So maybe they do like that because they, you know, but who knows? It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Well, she also said, but I liked this flip, which also could be for Pete too, is like they are secretly, they, they probably don't suffer with envy like I

do or they might or might not be in touch with it subconsciously the way that I am in touch with mine consciously but deep down they could be because they are so regimented and organized or they are so worried about what people think they could be extra envious of the fact that I can just bluntly talk or that I can just drop my underwear on the floor and not think about it for a couple days. They might not ever claim to be envious of that. But there could be a part of them that feels. I wish I could be that free.

And that's what my therapist said. She was like maybe consider that. And I'm like I don't think anyone. No I think you might be right. On a very deeply subconscious level. I mean Pete doesn't. I don't know. He has no idea what he feels.

He'll just talk to me about. whether a neighbor bought a lawnmower like and what kind of lawnmower they brought like this is that and like that's something that compels him so whenever he starts to realize that like maybe somebody touched him or something happened he's just like guess who got you know guess who got the same lawnmower yeah i'm like that's like an impression of a conversation who could give a flying fuck. But you know what? I do think we're pretty fucking free because I can't find a car in a parking lot.

I'm car dumb. I don't know. I just rode in my friend's car all weekends. I mean, all week in Austin this week. I was riding around her car. I kept getting in any fucking car.

Oh, I do the same thing, Rachel. It could be bright red. Oh my God, dude. I do this. I don't fucking know. I don't remember cars at all. And you know why? Because I'm free, bitch. I don't fucking know. I don't remember cars at all. And you know why? Because I'm free, bitch.

I don't fucking know if you're into Pontiac LeMans or a fucking red Corvette from the 80s. You could ride up in anything. And every time she's like, you really just don't know? Not the same shape. And when people talk about cars, I get like, I just start to sort of quake with boredom. Just like a real pain.

It feels like the onset of a heart attack when two men are discussing a car or a car purchase i'm like for the love of god so i think we're free fucking i'm in the middle of picking out a car and it's so hard to care yeah you get the same top as me it's gonna be gangrenous in seven minutes i know i'm pretty free and i'm good for a laugh and i get shit done because i'm not picking up things and folding things and storing them in little boxes and bags and and and meal planning i'm not doing a bunch of shit like all the stuff i'm envious of of people picking up stuff and vacuuming and swiffering and getting and the the edge of the like like just uh using that

mr clean wipe on their walls like that all stuff makes your walls look nice but like i'm get i'm moving money that money but i'm getting shit done like i'm emailing i'm exercising i'm learning a song on guitar like i have a smear of foundation on my wall that's been there for like six months like a heavy chunk like i look like i'm swatching like i'm testing colors out with all the the orange i have on my walls i love it pete takes his dirty clothes this is this is evidence that he's gonna make a suit out of my skin one day he takes his dirty clothes and folds them and puts them back in his suitcase on the dirty side and And then as soon as he gets home, unpacks the entire suitcase.

And you know what I'm doing while I'm not doing that? I'm writing a Netflix special. So whatever. You know what I mean? We're good for a fucking, at the end of the day, if you could bring some fun to the table, I might've been in detention every day and on school, on the books,

I was always a wild emergency, emergency moron like i got like 860 on my psats they didn't even have me take my sats they're like she's just too dumb it's why waste the paper but i but you know what i did have when i went to detention is a fun detention dance and everybody wanted to do that dance oh you're so i i i kicked it off with a detention dance people were into it so well this is where i go like i'm not even that fun like i'm like i you're fine what are you talking about i can be but i'm so i can be the thing is the where i get in the way of having being fun is where i'm not free because i i don't feel free because i feel so mad at myself for not being those ways that i'm constantly like

punishing myself and um and just disappointed always disappointed in myself for not being like more like this other girl that like oh my god she's has all this and she has a kid on top of it and she does a special and her house looks clean and like i do feel like some people are just wired that way and some people aren't. I can't accept that. But they're also wired to not be as funny. I mean, I don't know. Some people, I've heard this story too. You know, you are the stories you tell about yourself.

And that's true to a degree. That's true to a degree. And yes, you could change that reality slowly. Yeah. But I also kind of feel like we do what we care the most about. And if we cared enough, maybe we would slowly become the most organized people yeah in the world or maybe we don't care that much and you can outsource and delegate and it's nice look i used to live with my roommate and she was so organized like fascinatingly like she would go home and clean the walls like up it's 8 p.m time to clean the walls and she loves she loved to go through my purses and just be like, why would anybody even keep this?

Your purse is not a trash bin. She would explain my issues. She's like, you don't close. All your issues would be solved by the word close. I don't close things either. It's an ADD thing. She's like, you take this other trip with like you think you're going to go back to it. She's like, no, it's just one, two.

It's just open, close. That is such. I've been doing that recently where I'm like, just take the, just finish it. Close the cabinet. Like, screw on the top

of that mascara or that foundation. Just do it because there, I do catch myself. It's funny when you catch yourself not doing it all the way and you go,

why not? Why am I not doing that? We think we can cheat. It's like, we think we can cheat. Yes, what is it? I'll cheat this, but it doesn't work. Then you just have foundation all over your person walls. by not doing that we can cheat it's like we think we can cheat we're like what is it i'll cheat this but it doesn't work then you just have foundation what am i solving by not doing that

like saving time like we'll dig into this more after the break but that is so true you think you're like getting away with something but i do it all the time and it's so simple to just shut a cabinet but i just feel like i don't know why. Closing anything. All right. More with Rachel Feinstein after this. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Rachel, you did. I want to talk to you about Kelly Clarkson.

How was that? OK, Kelly Clarkson was very lovely. She very cool. She screamed at Pete for calling me big guy. She's like, nobody wants to call big. I love her. A lot of my favorite parts did not end up in the episode, because they have to chop it to a tiny piece.

She was like, Pete, nobody wants to be called Big Guy. And then she said that one of her friends, I think her boyfriend called him her Duke. And she's like, I know, Duke is not a nickname a woman's yearning for. She was fucking fun. And she yelled at him in a very satisfying way like she was a girl's girl she's like yeah no it's not cute it's not good yes she sticks the landing yeah yeah and then pete loved it he got the band to play his big guy's song she he told her ahead of time he's

like you know there's a song and then she's like so here there's a big guy's song he's like you know it's really more of a jingle kelly. I'm like, I love it, guys. Shut up. I didn't know Pete sat down. I just saw him in the picture. I didn't know he was on the couch. He was in the audience, but she went to him once. That's so funny.

But he was not the slightest bit nervous. He was just like, yeah. Oh, my God. It was so ridiculous. And she's like, he's like, you know, it's really more of a jingle, Kelly. And then he goes, you know, it goes, she's my big guy. She's my, which I'm like, and then he started singing it. He's singing to Kelly Clarkson.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.