The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #443 We're J.Lo Fans, Art of Seduction, Breaking Streaming Records, Manifesting, Your First Comedy Show

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Nikki is back in St. Louis and talking to Brian about the J.Lo documentary and how much production went into the making of the film. It makes Nikki a J.Lo stan and takes back everything she has said in the past about her. Both discuss the art of seduction and review the latest headline: "Someday You'll Die" breaks streaming record on HBO! We get the deets on how Nikki is manifesting a lot of stuff in her life. Final thought: Nikki's first comedy show she ever saw...Jimmy Fallon.  Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Hi, here I am. It's Nikki Glaser. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I don't know about for you guys, but for me, that bass was bumping on that intro

song today. Brian, did you get a load of that? Yeah, I asked Anya to turn up the bass and she said fine. I'm glad she gave us a new cut of that song that we've had for... How long have we been doing this podcast? 2020? 2021? Three years. Wow, it's been that long.

Brian, first off, I haven't even talked to you yet even before we started the podcast um thank you so much for the taylor swift magazine that you sent me that was so nice i know i sent you a text about it but um like people don't understand like these little tales of magazines are popping up everywhere you'll see them in hudson news you'll see them at the grocery store there's like new versions every month i want them all and guess what i'm not buying them for myself because it's too indulgent and i just think that magazines are a waste of money so i want you if people need to get me a gift that's relatively inexpensive wait so there's

a new one every month because that there's like well they they just like every publishing company that does you know uh magazine print is like, okay, let's do a Taylor Swift edition. You just buy a bunch of Getty images. You pay someone to write some stories about her life and her trajectory. And it's a, and you sell it as like a special edition and it can be on the shelves for months.

I mean, the one you bought me, it doesn't even have tortured poets in it. Like her life is updated and you bought it in February. Like her life is already different. So they can keep putting out new ones every month because this is the updated one. I meant to give it to you before the Super Bowl as something to

read on the plane, but it worked out that I just had it in my car for months. No, I needed it. It arrived in my life at the right time. I was so excited to flip through it and just go like, oh, she's so cute there. Chris, look at this one where she's so cute. My goal lately

has been proving to chris that she is super duper sexy because he's just like he like sees her almost like a sister he's just like i just can't don't sexualize her and i'm like you need to because she's sexy and so i keep showing him videos i'm like look at this dance i'm like if i did that you would be absolutely seduced don't act like that is not a sexy move. I couldn't even do that that's so sexy. And he's starting to buy in. I'm getting him

to buy in on things. What I got him to buy in on last night that he finally gave into and I've been pushing for years was Always Sunny because I knew he'd love it. Who doesn't love Always Sunny?

He's resisted it because I think it was, I don't know, I can't even surmise, I could surmise, but i shan't uh about why he wasn't wanting to watch it but i was like just let's watch let's start from the beginning i've never seen the first season i jumped in at just willy-nilly episodes you know because you can you don't have it doesn't follow really a narrative i mean a loose narrative but you can still figure it out it's like south it's like almost all i think in think in that show,

Danny DeVito is probably too sexy and distracting. You can't really watch it. He can be. Oh my god. So the ones that I showed him, we started... Are you familiar with the show? Yes, to a degree. Have you watched it a lot? I wouldn't say I've watched it a lot, but there's quite a lot of seasons. You've watched enough.

Okay. Yeah, there's 27 seasons. I think it's the longest running live action comedy sitcom. But Simpsons is animated. Yeah. Because Simpsons takes animated. Yeah. We've talked about this before. So impressive. Yeah. And they are, I think it's one of the best shows ever.

It's like up there with Veep for me in terms of comedy. And I watch it again. It's so nostalgic. And Seinfeld 2 I've been going back to. I'm just like obsessed with these things that made me laugh so hard but last night I showed him we watched the first three episodes just to get like a gist of the show which really found its stride immediately like it

was what it was almost right out of the gate it got more deranged and just taking chances but they start the first episode their pilot episode is the gang gets racist pilot episode of always sunny is one of the best episode, their pilot episode is The Gang Gets Racist. The pilot episode of Always Sunny is one of the best written pilots of any. Really? Absolutely. And what's

really amazing about it. I agree, but I didn't know it was heralded as that already. At least I heralded it. I think a lot of people do, at least in the comedy space. You wouldn't compare it to... Frasier is the one I heard. Sure, Frasier. Frasier, though, has the classic sitcom. Cheers. Cheers has the classic sitcom structure,

which is becoming kind of passe. So if you're basing it off of that, then yeah. But Always Sunny is also quite remarkable because they did it themselves, similar to Shane Gillis' famed Tires, which is blowing up.

I still haven't watched it yet. Gotta watch Tires. But I hear that everyone likes it. And I hear that it's simple. It takes place in one place. You can shoot it in like... Chris was saying there's no way it took longer than four weeks to shoot. No, probably not. And they funded it

themselves or Shane did. Just like Always Sunny. It looks great. Also two shows from Pennsylvania. Very similar. And also J-Lo's show that I talked about on the show with Rachel when you weren't there yesterday. I watched a J-load documentary which i didn't give the name of so um please i'm begging you besties you have to watch it it's so good no matter what you think about j-load whether you don't think about her at all like i think it's just if you have any kind of like dreams inside

you and you want to be inspired to just like take a chance on a wild dream the movie which is called the documentary which is called the greatest love story never told which is based on ben affleck's like letters to her over the course of their relationship that he made a box he made a special box for her of all the letters and correspondence they had emails letters special box throughout their relationship and that's what he called it. No, it was really romantic. And then she busted out when she's at a writer's session with all of these music producers.

And she's tossing it around. She's like, read the letters. I want you to be inspired. Like, this is what I'm making this album off of. And then Ben finds out and is like, what is she doing? Like, that was like a private thing between us. But what I loved

and why he reminds me of Chris so much is like a boundary was broken for him. But then ultimately he's like, private thing between us. But what I loved and why he reminds me of Chris so much is like a boundary was broken for him. But then ultimately he's like, it's her art. Like this is how she makes her art. Like I kind of just got to suck it up. I don't want to make art from highly personal things. But she feels the need to make this music movie to talk about her growth from being an insecure woman who didn't get enough love as a child as to a person who found someone who like loves her for her and finally made it back to a guy that's like really

accepts her uh i guess is it is what i think she's trying to say but she has to self-fund the whole thing because um financing gets pulled right away like this is the documentary about making that movie okay so financing gets pulled and she has to pay like 30 million dollars she's like i'll do it myself and the you know the happy ending at the end is well because you're watching it you already know spoiler alert it gets bought by amazon right like but there's no way they paid as much as she put into it but it's like over and over again our industry are filled with cowards who are unwilling i mean you can't even take a risk on a j-lo documentary but i like that she did it herself and lost money because it's like, okay, so I lost money. People still got to see this thing I care about.

Or maybe it wasn't a huge success, but it still was on a platform. Suck it. I got the word out there. I don't need that $30 million, really. I'm J-Lo. Yeah, she is. Intimacy. I have a lot more million dollars laying around.

And yeah, she's like, I'll just do a campaign for CBD water and I'll make that in one photo shoot with them. Everyone's doing that nowadays. Kevin Costner, $38 million spent of his quote unquote own money on that new Western movie

he just released that got an eight minute standing ovation at the film festival. What is this? What are these standing ovations? It's like a... Where people are now required to just like outdo each other. What is this? What are these standing ovations again? Where people are now required to just outdo each other. This is like the Swifties

after Champagne Problems. We all try to beat each other in each city to see who can applaud the longest and make her go I know. Well, that's the awkward part. And take off her earpiece and go. But I really do think she's amazed each time. As annoying as it is to do the standing ovation, I can't even imagine standing up for 10 minutes and clapping,

which is just absurd. But no, you know what? I think it's so important that like it would be, it would, it would like anything, it would get old, but like to stand and just accept people applauding and wanting to just give

you love and you just have to take it and you want to sing and you want to move the show along, but you're just so people are just screaming so loud because they're just excited at your existence is a she she gets moved to tears a lot and i get why she does that anyway continue what you were saying i would say it's harder even for the person on stage to stand up there and continually it's like it's like gifts i don't like receiving gifts because i have to be like you don't like receiving gifts because you have to be like oh my god God, thank you so much. Imagine having to do that for applause for 10 straight minutes. It's just, it's horrible.

Yeah, I like gifts if I like them. So like, it's not like she doesn't like the applause. So she can, like not getting a gift that you're just like, oh, this isn't great. This is going to require a performance. Like as long as I don't have to perform, I'm pretty happy. And that's a moment I don't think she has to perform. She, I mean,

if you really let it in 65,000 to 80,000 people screaming for you of over six minutes, seems then it won't stop every time you try to talk. But at the can thing, it just seems like that would be really boring. 12 minutes is too long. Six minutes. What did Brendan Fraser got 12 minutes for the whale?

After five minutes, I would feel like it was sarcastic. I'd be like, these guys are making fun of me. I stood up 12 minutes into the movie and said, I'm going to go to the bathroom for a really long time so I can miss a lot of this because I don't... You had a standing ovation in the bathroom where you were looking... Yeah. Washing your hands and looking in the mirror.

I just... And I watched it on a plane which is supposed to make things even better but that but because i heard all of that i think the bar was too high seat belt sign yeah yeah there was a um we were in some turbulence so i would have gotten in trouble had i taken off my seat belt to stand um so that's why i didn't but uh i think there i think there's like six minutes standing ovation it doesn't mean anything to me but he got he got a standing ovation for 12 minutes for The Whale, which is a movie in which he can't even really stand.

Stand? Uh-uh. It's kind of rubbing it in his face at that point. I think it's sarcastic applause, and everyone was making fun of him the whole time. It's sweet. I mean, it's interesting, but I just don't get when this trend started of

can is where people stand for really long amounts of time and applaud that's where the phrase canned laughter comes from because it's made up yeah that's what it feels like it feels fake well i will say that i've been to award shows and i've been borrowing like really expensive jewelry from my um stylist like my stylist who styled me they borrow jewelry and it's like really they don't buy it it's we borrow it and we tag them and maybe they get paid for renting it i don't really understand but i went to the i heart music awards in like 2000 god 8 19 and i was clapping so hard because i was having a good time i dented all of this like fine jewelry and i think i had to pay for some of it um because i but i learned my lesson that's why nicole kidman is in memes like clapping like this because you don't you're banging this metal

around and it gets all dented up you're just banging metal into metal but i was doing it the whole show and having no clue that i was doing it and they my my stylist got them back and we're like what happened to these were they thrown into the road? Were you playing dice with them? It's crazy what happened with that. Did you see some nurses during COVID? Yeah, because I was applauding. What is that?

Wait, I don't get that. That was my reference to how you had to bang pots and pans together for the... Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good. It was a long shot, but I tried it. No, no, no. I got there. I just needed you. I wanted you to take me on that journey.

Yeah, it was a good journey. And hold my hand through that. Let me ask you this. I know that without all the death, take away all the death, okay? Always. Do you want to do COVID again? As in everything shuts down for a full year?

No. Or maybe longer? No. I'm on a wave right now dude this would be the worst time for you yeah it would be horrible i mean ask me that um four months ago i would have not let you finish the sentence before i said yes please god bring it on bring on that tsunami but then i didn't realize i would be riding that tsunami and i don't i don't want to i don't want i agree with you i think i'm in the same position where i feel like i wouldn't want to happen now however i do believe that the nation

and perhaps the world should institute a bi-annual covid break where we're forced to pretend like it's covid for about two weeks oh we like memorialize it it's like our way of honoring what we went through during covid is that we take a mini COVID, which is about, let's do a two weeks. I would like it to be more, but if I was rich and famous, two weeks seems like a way to honor it. Two weeks is a way to honor it, but if I was rich and successful enough where I didn't have to

worry about getting the next job or money or anything like that, every year without question, I would take two full months to go to Colorado or something and do absolutely nothing for two months. Yeah, that's, that would be my face work. Yeah.

That would be everyone's, you know, that usually actresses do it during Christmas when the world, like the, the industry shuts down between Thanksgiving and January 5th, 6th. Even longer. I feel like. Yeah. Sometimes a couple more weeks even. I appreciate that about Hollywood. Thanksgiving and January 5th, 6th. Even longer, I feel like. You think? People still on vacation? I appreciate that about Hollywood.

Thank you so much for doing that because it really feels like it never stops and it's nice that we all agree that that still takes a little, there's a dull moment there. I feel like it slows down a little bit in the summer months, in July and August because a lot of the decision makers

go on to France or whatever. They go on summer vacations. Right, right. Well, I know that there's this one scandal that came out where some celebrity was kind of being outed for nothing illegal, but just being kind of cringe. And there was like a lot of evidence. It was like a really funny story.

And the person chose to do it on like Christmas morning because they knew that publicists wouldn't be available to like fix it and to like make it disappear and so this thing spread like wildfire because everyone's at home with their families bored on their phones and there's no publicist to fix it in time and so it just went way worse than uh it should have and I thought that was like, that's like a really evil plan. If you want to like ruin someone, do it on a holiday. That holiday really is the only one. Christmas morning, drop it. Because that's where everyone's kind of like not on their phones.

They don't even have to be really. You're not on call. So I thought that was interesting. I think the opposite is true if you're going to break up with somebody. I think I've been asked this question many times. And I've decided that the best time to break up with someone is before the holidays. People say, well, then you'll ruin the holidays.

No. You can't go through a holiday with someone you don't want to be with. Exactly. So you avoid that and then also the person has time to spend with loved ones where they're just able to... Where they are nurtured. I was broken up with on um a thanksgiving uh eve i was actually outside of lax about to check my i was like letting my dog piss for the last time before we flew three and a half hours and i'm walking luigi and he

calls me and it's already been like i'm just a distance like not really responding to text as much like we just saw each other for the first time after talking on the phone for a really long time and then and I could just tell a distance was already brewing but I didn't think it was like over because it was so on and he pretty much right there called me and I was on the sidewalk terminal one

Southwest and I was like finding out he was breaking up with me and I was just oh I was so and I was just finding out he was breaking up with me and I was just, Oh, I was so, and I was just so mad and disappointed. And, um, yeah. And I'll tell you what happened next after this break. Jon Stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts so we're back so yeah i was i got the call from this guy and he was really nice about it but i was fucking pissed because i was just embarrassing i had never been like really like where i didn't have a it's happened to me a couple times where they're just like you don't have a choice like i'm already made my decision there's nothing you can say or do

that's gonna make this relationship keep going like what's so humiliating and you're trying and then you just all you have to do is get mad then you just get mad at them because you you're out of you you realize you can't get you can't logically put them in a circle that'll be like you know what you're right i should stay with you it's never gonna happen no you yeah you can just tell it in the tone of their voice and it just and then you are trying not to cry i was trying to be strong and i think i handled it well at first but i was so fucking angry and then i stood on the plane and then i went home and you're right it was like it was nice to have their sympathy but my parents were kind of like yeah how did you not think this was gonna be like you should have seen this coming kind of thing it kind of felt made me feel stupid i guess or maybe i was doing that to myself but um but

you're right like i think it is smart to be around loved ones especially if you can go i mean it's a really bad thing to do if someone has no family or something like that then you don't break up with someone for christmas that's bad if you if they were supposed to spend yeah christmas with your family because they don't have one. Yeah. But for someone who is. Give them one last. Yeah. Someone who has a family, you could do it too. But yeah, no, I've been in that situation before where someone's breaking up with me on the phone and I'm like, I go through the embarrassing plea.

Like it's, it's not really pleading. It's almost like trying to convince them in some logical way why this decision they made is incorrect and it's embarrassing yeah it's so embarrassing and then you do switch at one point to just being like well fuck you you like you get angry yeah well it's like i remember one time when chris and i broke up the first time he broke up with me and i was just like he just wasn't budging and it just seemed insane to me like i'm just like this i didn't budging and it just seemed insane to me like i'm just like this i didn't see this coming at all blindsided and um and he had all the reason in the world

it's a long story but i remember just i remember what i was staring at like i remember the part of the curtain in my apartment with anya that i lived in that i was looking at when i was in the dark going please please just and and just just like, remember this, Nicky. This is like the most pathetic moment of your life. And you're doing it in front of someone that you want to take you back and it's like the worst look possible. Oh man, I've had some really bad looks

in front of Chris Convey. And he's seen some batshit behavior. I can't imagine a situation where you're saying, please, like that, that it would work out in any situation. That's the irony of it. It's like, I know it won't work out. It's just, I'm out of options. He's going to hang up the phone and I'm not even,

it's like, please stay on the line with me. Because when we hang this up, like, or just like, please, like, I just wanted him to take pity on me. okay this is so you're so pathetic i guess yes if this will keep you going for a couple more days or something it was just so sad and that's why i remember the curtain that i was looking at because it was a it was a new low of my life and then sometimes you oh my god sometimes as a woman you try to seduce them like to get them back like and and you you try to be sexy or do something like sexy and it's so desperate and it's so like oh that one's so bad because what you have to realize is that they've

it's not like they were just like they woke up that morning and was like oh let me call nikki break up no this has been something that they've been going over in their head for probably a few weeks and work themselves up to say it and so after all of that it's very unusual for a desperate please to turn it around and so the sexual thing doesn't work either because probably by that point one of the reasons why you're gonna they're repulsed by you repulsed yeah absolutely and not because of your physically they just like hate you and so physically you read as disgusting people like to think that men are pigs and they are and that all they care about is looks but there is for everybody even the pigs even the construction workers there is always a

mental aspect to sexual attraction and that needs to be there for men to really be horned up especially when you're in a long-term relationship and you've gotten used to the looks part right like trying to like seduce your husband of 10 years has got to feel like... At that point, they've seen so much. It's just not... It doesn't work. I think it could still seduce Chris. It works if they want to be seduced.

Right. Or if secretly they want to be seduced. They don't have to overtly be seduced. Or if they're just... And usually at that point, they're getting it somewhere else. They're not even be to fuck you. Like that's not even what it's about.

I guess for, I think for men sometimes. And, but yeah, I mean, I still try it, but that's where you play the mental game. You see if it,

but only if I'm turned on now, like I'll just do it. If I'm like, oh, this happens to be the thing I want to do anyway. I wouldn't. The sad part is when you don't even want it and you're just, oh yeah. Well, if you both don't want it, then you're just

two people sitting in recliners reading the... You're just a girl laying in a tub, masturbating loud enough for a boyfriend to hear in the next room. And you don't even want to do it. You don't even want to be doing what you're doing. That is a sad moment in a girl's life. Just trying to

get someone to turn around because you're so hot they can't help themselves. If you are goosed up, though, and you want it, and the other person doesn't and they haven't wanted it for a while, there is, for every personality, a thing that you can do mentally to put them in a state of whatever it is, anxiety or whatever, that would make them want to fuck you it might be extreme it might not be but there is something you have to figure out what that is because everyone's got a thing that if you did the right sequence of events they would get horned up for you i have given my lover a guaranteed spot if he whispers into a part of my neck that i didn't even know existed until he did that one time and i was like what's happening to me like it literally was like what

the fuck it's like it's like almost as uh it does things to my brain like that you're like you're you know like your clitoris does to your brain. I'm not even joking you. It's like the most erogenous zone. It's right on my neck. I can't even find it. It's in the back? It makes me just go. I don't even know

and I don't want to give it away because I think it's around back here but no one really ever breathes there but a couple times Chris just accidentally has because we're just laying or cuddling or something and I'm just like,

what's happening? I'm like a dog that legs are shaking. I think that's your vagus nerve. Your vagus nerve starts in your brain. My vagus nerve is here. I used to have a vagus nerve simulator for my depression and it didn't work. It would just pull my face down violently.

Well, it's in your neck and it goes straight down to your puss. Really? I don't even know if I feel it in puss i feel like in my brain like it's just like i feel horny in my brain but i guess that has to be related to that but it's just i've i've told him like if you ever want to have sex like that's all you have to do is just whisper like literally we shouldn't even give this code out to strangers because it's that crazy like it's it unlocks something in me

that's scary and um and i and so the other night i was like why don't you like i've told you why don't just do it every time but i think like sometimes you don't even want the easy way in you like want to earn it a different way what do you mean by that i guess but i'm just like like i think sometimes men don't like to be told what to do because they want to figure it out themselves. Oh, how to seduce you? Yeah, and I get that. Sometimes if some guy was just like, I like when you do this,

I'd be like, I mean, I don't know. I can relate to it in other ways in my life, but I find that sometimes when you're like this exact thing, they try their version of that. And this isn't just Chris. It's not even Chris except maybe this way but I don't even think in that way.

But I just have found that to be true in the past. It's somewhat emasculating to just follow the instructions because it feels like you didn't it could be anybody. They just told you how to do it so you're not in control of the situation and now you're just some cuck following orders.

But yet, you don't mind following instructions on a YouTube video on how to install a sink. You're not putting your own pizzazz on that, right? Isn't that about just do it the way it's exactly said to be done? We actually have feelings for the sink. But I think you can give orders in the heat of the moment, maybe. And it will like, if you just, it depends on the type of person. Yeah. But the next thing for me is like, not in the heat of the moment.

It's like, that's the thing to start it. Yeah. We need. But no, it's all about communication. And that's, that's the theme of today's communication. You know, it's like, well, that's's the theme of today's episode. Yeah, communication. You know, it's like, that's what J-Lo communicated with Ben Affleck with those letters. No, everyone's got to watch that documentary.

But I do think that, yeah, it reminded me a lot of Chris and me, Ben and her. Because she has all these like harebrained kind of crazy ideas about like, I just want to like everyone to know everything about me. And he's just like, okay, well, let's just talk about it. And then there's a scene where she's like, this is, this is the, this is bad. This is the worst. Like I'm embarrassing.

Like this is shit. It's shit. And he's like, okay. And it's kind of shit at that point. And he's kind of like being like, okay, well,

this is the first time you're doing this. Like maybe you're learning. And also you can't say it's shit yet. Like we're not even done. It's not even close to being done. And she's like, yeah, but so far it's shit. You'll admit it, right? Like, trying to get him to admit it.

And he, like, won't. But he also does agree. But he, like, finds a way to calm her. To, like, be, like, even, he's not negating what she's saying. Because he knows it's true, too. But he's, like, gives her a perspective that kind of calms her down. And it reminded me and Chris of being, like, this is just the worst. And sometimes he's like, gives her a perspective that kind of calms her down. And it reminded me of me and Chris of, of being like,

this is just the worst. And sometimes he's like, yeah, this isn't good. Like what you've done is not great. Cause it's stuff. She, this is all stuff JLo is doing.

And it's, it's wild. I love, I love it so much. I even rewatched. So the, it's the documentary is about the music video. Like she didn't want it to do like a purple rain, like movie uh with all of her music videos like not music videos they keep saying

don't call it a music marine or something it's a yeah yeah or beyonce's lemonade like something like that and so but it's about her breakup and she works in a heart factory she's it's all and it's kind of comedy in there too. Fat Joe is her therapist. Post Malone is in it. Jane Fonda. There's all these cameos. Trevor Noah. Noel deGrasse Tyson.

What's his? Neil deGrasse Tyson. Anyway, it's but the and then Ben Affleck does like a funny cameo. It's it's it's wild though because it is someone who she just is putting it all out there and i'm like is this it's i kind of like it because now i'm a j-lo fan from the documentary i'm a legit j-lo fan i go back on everything i ever thought or said about her in the past in private or public i love j-lo i think she's cool i think she is so. I think she is so talented. I think she is funny. And I think she's hardworking. And yes, there are some stories out there

that make me go, what? Like I've heard some stuff. But she's just doing her and figuring it out. And all in all, she seems like a really nice person. But she did produce the documentary that I learned this from. Yeah, so you just fell for propaganda, basically. I'll be heartbroken if she's not.

But the thing is, people are taking footage from this documentary and putting it on TikTok, and she's having this moment where people are tearing her down because of how out of touch she seemed, which if you watch the whole documentary, you will not see it that way, I don't think. I made Sarah Lena, and Sarah Lena watched it. I forced her. I'm like, please, I need someone else in girls' chat

to consume this and give me feedback. And she loved it, too, and was so inspired. And we both like J.Lo in the same way. So I really do think if you watch the documentary, all the stuff you've seen on TikTok that's made you go, oh, my God, why did she say that? You'll kind of go, actually, she's kind of cool and inspiring. Yeah, this is a good idea. I think more people should do this. Like Ellen should make a documentary about her

view of the her workplace and then everyone can watch it we should get that side yeah well she i think that's what she's doing with her comedy special i mean this is j-lo can't do a comedy special where she like tells the truth into the microphone and i think that's what ellen's addressing it on her next special i have no idea she does have this no that's what she said that was the press release special coming out yeah She does have a special coming out. Yeah, last week. Yeah, but it would be cool. We should see all the other sides.

You know, the documentaries are always on what's supposed to be the good side. Like, we always see, like, a documentary that's about SeaWorld and how it's bad. But now SeaWorld should make a documentary telling their side of the story. About how it's bad. But now SeaWorld should make a documentary telling their side of the story. About how it's good?

I would never watch it. Well, you watched the J-Lo one. I have no interest. Well, oh, that's a good point. Well, J-Lo, even if I don't like her, I'm still fascinated by her and I want to see evidence

why I don't like her. I want to fill up my little... But it didn't fill it up. It fucking dismantled it. So it's... Yeah, that's a good... But I wouldn't want to fill up my hatred of SeaWorld. I actually it up. It fucking dismantled it. So it's, yeah, that's a good, but I wouldn't want to fill up my hatred of SeaWorld. I actually can't watch it.

What if OJ had, I mean, he's passed on now, but what if OJ came out with his documentary? I guess he had that book. If I did it. Okay. Here's the thing though.

I'm not on the, J-Lo, I didn't like, but I was like, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. Maybe you're right,

but I don't think. She didn't murder her wife and, yeah. Right. I don't think the She didn't murder her wife and... Right. I don't think the crime wasn't as bad, that I just thought she was kind of phony versus stabbing, decapitating his wife and her potential lover who was just returning some sunglasses.

Oh, my God. But I will say that I have some friends that watch like a Scott Peterson documentary, and I thought I was 100% sure that that guy killed his wife. And they're like, no, he didn't i'm like what so sometimes i am open to having my mind totally blown because my friends said that but um but yeah you'll you'll i think i think besties you're similar enough to me you'll you'll walk out of it being inspired by uh j-lo speaking of um i think we were speaking about specials or something oh yeah because rachel

and i were talking about her special yesterday and how she was like says um what she says like doing stand-up is like her final word like if she were to die this is like her last i forget what she used as like her closing arguments kind of like when you're you know uh prosecuting someone of like this is what and that's how she uses and i thought that was pretty interesting which it is that it's you do get to do that as a stand-up comedian you just speak as you actors do not get to do that ever no i don't even musicians don't probably don't know how to speak as them because they are an empty husk that is a refillable container for whatever character they're portraying

and they lose who they are and become some sort of soulless creature. But that's just my view of actors. I don't know if everybody agrees with that. I don't really know the psyche of actors. To be honest with you, I'm not really interested in it. I just don't really care. I'm not like not like wow what motivates you to be someone else i

don't care and as much as people aren't probably interested in being like what makes you a comedian i mean some people do care i'm sure other people don't give a fuck about what makes comedians who gives a shit you're a comedian just be one don't explore why you're different and cool um but uh i but did you see my special two million views believable um well so now i saw the thing you just posted i didn't know if that was a huge number two million and but i guess it is yeah and so you just posted on your instagram stories today uh a great piece of information yes Yes. My special is streaming, is breaking streaming records. Okay, here, they just posted.

A premiere to celebrate. Watch it before you die. Biggest HBO comedy special premiere in over two years. Nikki Glaser's Someday You'll Die, HBO just posted. Deadline said, Nikki Glaser's Someday You'll Die

sets streaming record for HBO. What does that mean? That sounds a lot better than most watched special in two years. So which one is it? Wait, what does the other one say? You posted it. Break streaming record.

Well, they were more vague. The record is it's the biggest HBO Academy special premiere in over two years. This is how press works so the headline that deadline put up looks more impressive than what the actual thing is well what but in over two years why is what was the what were the other hbos didn't your special also come out two years ago on HBO? You broke your own. Yeah, I beat my own. Well, I think I was number one the year my special came out too,

but it wasn't like this level where it was like, I think I'm going to be number one by a pretty big margin. I mean, it's been pretty amazing seeing not just your special be in the top 10 of the HBO, but the Tom Brady roast

being in the top 10 of the Netflix thing. And then Chris's show being also in the top 10 of the netflix thing and then chris's show being also in the top 10 the kevin hartmark twain prize that's pretty incredible um and uh now on on you know on netflix it's like bridgerton tires uh yeah i just wrote to my publicist in over two years what other special beat mine three years ago i want answers you know you're right i should and why do we need to put that where is there another can't we just say but if you say beat streaming record you go i want to know what the streaming record is right well maybe there's an article attached to it there's my there's

probably information yeah let me read it let me see if it's if it's in there hbo let's see okay we're reading an article all right uh the comedian's latest special nikki glaser someday today has generated 2 million cross-platform viewers since it premiered on may 11th according to the warner brothers discovery uh the company also said the special had the best premiere night for an hbo special in more than two years that just slightly outperforms her previous special good clean filth with which amassed 1.9 across platforms in the same time frame from its own debut that special was also nominated for a critic's choice award for best comedy special do

i smell an emmy coming someday you'll die is currently pacing to have the top streaming audience for any comedy special in the history of mass um okay taped in december blah blah blah um yeah it's uh yeah this well this is really good for my emmy let's do it i didn't even think about that well i'm winning that emmy right because i've manifested it already happened and i have the feeling in my body of which if i had uh if it had already happened that's how you manifest things i'm really getting into that yeah like well you just i haven't well yes i've won it it's just hasn't happened in the timeline of my life yet but it uh you're supposed to feel the feeling I'll get into it later we have

to we have to go to break but um I'm gonna come back and tell you about how to manifest things because I'm working on it John Stewart is back at the Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts all right we're back um manifestation

i've talked about on the show before i'm starting to like i just buy in so much my only problem is i don't really know what to visualize so you're supposed to like right before you go to bed start visualizing the life you want the thing you want like a short scene that's about 10 seconds long of like what your life looks like after this thing has happened after this thing you want has happened so you're in the relationship that you are trying to manifest you are at the job you're comfortable you're at home after you came home from the job you're in some scene of your life for 10 seconds where this dream has fully realized. So I don't know like what I really, I can't focus enough on what I really want. Like I keep putting myself in like an organized, beautiful home, but then I'm like in that

10 second frame of being in that perfect, organized, beautiful home that I want. I'm like, oh, I have to call the guy about the cabinets tomorrow. And then I don't want it. Like I don't want to run this beautiful organized home like i if i have that stuff i don't know what i really i don't know that i really want it so sometimes i get nervous about manifesting because i'm like okay if i get that amazing home i'll have to like figure out how to run it and i don't like that and so i'm trying i'm struggling with what to visualize. I guess maybe I could manifest the feeling after I win an Emmy walking backstage. But that's already done.

I already did that one. That one's in the bag. I got to think of the next thing. Having it on your shelf in your living room. Well, no. The Emmy's happening. What's another thing I want? Is it an Emmy or is it a Grammy?

Oh, a Grammy. No, I could win an Emmy For the song An Emmy for the song I'm not ready To win a Grammy yet So I'm not gonna Visualize that yet

But I'm gonna Take my steps So what's the Emmy for Yeah I want The Emmy could be The Emmy is gonna be For my special

And for the comedy song There's an Emmy Or and for a special song I've submitted my song Someday You'll Die For an Emmy To win best song For like a Series Really and for a special song I've submitted my song someday you'll die for an Emmy to win best song for like a series is that a creative arts Emmy for a special I think it's probably a creative arts Emmy but else but I think you should be aiming for Grammy for best comedy

album yeah that'd be good too okay so I might be able to... Do you know who's won the best comedy albums over the last several years? I would guess Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle. Okay, so 2024, 2023, 2020, 2019, and 2018 were all won by Dave Chappelle. Can you believe that? That's crazy. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I had a feeling he swept. Oh, John Mulaney won.

No, that was Emmy. Never mind. Yeah, so I guess there's an Emmy for comedy special and there's a Grammy for comedy album. And there's an Emmy for comedy special and a comedy special writing. Wow, okay, okay. So you have chances here to win.

Yeah, I can sweep. Sweep it all. So 2024, Dave Chappelle. 2023, Dave Chappelle. 2022, I could sweep. Sweep it all. So, 2024, Dave Chappelle. 2023, Dave Chappelle. 2022, Louie. 2021, Tiffany Haddish. Didn't even remember that she had one. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that either. Tiffany Haddish in

2021 beat out Bill Burr, Jim Gaffigan, Patton Oswalt, and Jerry Seinfeld. Pretty nice. Good job, Tiff. Then Dave Chappelle again. Then Dave Chappelle again. Then Dave Chappelle again. Three in a row.

God, can you imagine? Yeah, then 2017. He's like Taylor Swift. Patton Oswalt, 2017. 2016, Louis C.K. And then 2015, Weird Al. And then 2014, someone we've had on this podcast before won the Grammy for Best Comedy Album.

Who? Kathy Griffin. Oh, God, I love her so much. Now, here's a huge surprise. She's so cool. What? Beating out Tenacious D, Kathy Griffin, Jim Gaffigan, and Louis Black with Best Comedy Album was Jimmy Fallon.

Didn't even know he had a comedy album. Blow Your Pants Off, it was called. That show was fucking kicking by then. But no, this is for his comedy album, Blow Your Pants Off. The second album. Oh, like he had one. His second album. It's so crazy.

Do you know that I saw him in, he was my first comedy show I ever saw. I didn't even know he did stand up. Yeah, he did stand up. He was doing a um show at my so in high school my friend's sister cory went to truman state which is in kirksville i think missouri and we after school my friends blindfolded me they didn't really need to do that but they like were like we're taking you on a trip and it's a surprise because they knew i loved jimmy fallon and had a huge crush on him. And so they drove

us after school. It was 2000, this would have been 2001 or maybe 2. And no, this is 2002. And we drove to Truman State and we went and we saw Jimmy Fallon show and we were front row. And I was so excited because he's so cute. It was like seeing

my first big, big celebrity. And during his set he did ask me are you a freshman and i said yes and i lied because i just was nervous that i was like i didn't want to like explain i also knew like i didn't want to explain like no i'm a senior and i'm coming like it's just not just give the comedian what he wants yes and and he did he asked me about um he's like and every when you're freshman, you live in the dorms, the refrigerators, everything's so small. Everything needs to be small. You have tiny ice cubes, tiny refrigerator.

It was really funny. And then he sang like a song to a troll, I remember. But yeah, so that was my first comedy show. What was your first comedy show? Final thought. But first, I want to say something quickly. That you were like an audience member. I was re-watching HBO's Band of Brothers from 2001.

Oh, yeah. I could not believe it. I mean, he's in it for five seconds as a guy who's like getting ammo from the front lines, just hands it off. And it's like, is that Jimmy Fallon giving us? That's yeah. Like that was before when everyone was just trying to figure out what to fucking do. He was out of SNL at the time.

Probably between things just like, am I a movie star? Yeah, I'll be in this Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg thing. Unbelievable to think that there was a time when Jimmy Fallon was like, I'm not sure where the wind's going to blow for me. What's going to do? What my life's going to be? Yeah, that is true. He seems like so, he's been famous for so long. He really is turning into a

legend. He is at this point. When you host the Tonight Show for that long, you're just in a rare air. It's been 20 years, has it? No, probably not 20. No, not 20. It's been 15 at least. I think 15. That's incredible. He's really

nice and I like Jimmy Fallon a lot. And he's someone who, man, I admire the way he works and how fast he keeps everything moving. I love him. I did Seth Meyers a couple weeks ago. I love Seth Meyers. So nice. These are just like, they really are nice people,

at least to me. Yeah. Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel, though, can be, he's jimmy kimmel just in the seth meyers is just like such a you can just tell such a nice person jimmy fallon too jimmy kimmel like um is like very authentic yeah i think like he's not gonna kiss your ass one guy i'd most want to be friends with out of all those yeah he's awesome i want to know like yeah i would agree with that based on he they all are like they would all be there they would all be awesome to hang out with

and be friends with because they are there's something about a talk show host that is just a certain type of person but yeah jimmy is sarcastic and like doesn't take shit and like won't won't just give it to you if you don't deserve it which i really respect and then conan of course is like talk shows i'm doing his hopefully his podcast again soon talk show hosts are amazing yeah uh they're all they're all good people i really i wish ellen was my mom no johnny johnny carson was a really really mean guy man i read his biography and it it's kind of disturbing what an asshole he was. All because his mother didn't love him and would never say good job.

She was like Bill Belichick was with Tom Brady. Never said fucking good job, ever. That is so sad if you have a parent that can't ever give you some fucking credit in your life. They wouldn't have become Johnny Carson or Tom Brady if they said I love you one time. Who cares? We don't need it. I bet. Someone else would have done something in that slot.

We don't need to make children great by emotionally abusing them. But yes, you're right. You're looking at it. What's done is done. Hey, it's better than being abused than not being successful yeah that's true but the ellen thing will be interesting how she spins that no i want to i want answers i would love her just to just own it i would love her to come out wearing a full leather suit and being like i'm a bitch deal with it that

would be amazing a heel turn i mean i i think she could you know because it but i have a feeling we're gonna walk away and we're gonna like her so much and everything's gonna be okay across the board which it should be like as i yeah i mean i'll i'll be interested to see well we will like her but she's one of my favorite comics ever so i'm just excited to see her do stand-up in any capacity that she wants to give it. Yeah, that's going to be exciting just to see in terms of legend status

watching a stand-up comedian perform. But I do think if she came out and said, I'm a bitch, deal with it, I think we would like her more. It'd be so cool. It'd be so cool. My first comedy show that I can remember as an adult or something i went to

the comedy attic um it was my first headliner sitting in the audience and it was i was in also the front row for some reason and it was christian finnegan oh yeah oh my god again i also designed the poster for the show for the weekend but but I was sitting in the front row watching Christian Finnegan. I just remember having like a cathartic experience because it was like, you know, if once you start doing comedy and you're watching it constantly, you start to get jaded and then things are less funny and that you don't laugh at the basic jokes anymore.

You don't laugh at the trips, but you definitely did that night. I was like, every single thing he did was new and fresh to me. i was just like and he's great anyway he's great anyway he also has the same heart condition as me and i got to talk to him about that oh whoa he had to get open heart surgery um so i got to talk to him about that and hopefully i can avoid that but uh so i have a soft spot uh for christian finne Literally. But yeah, I watched it and I had a cathartic... I was sitting with my girlfriend at the time, I think, too.

And we were both just like, I can't believe what we just witnessed. It was just like an amazing experience. And I got to imagine that that's how a lot of people feel when they go see comedy shows when they're not a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. My second show was Dave Chappelle. people feel when they go see comedy shows when they're not a comedian yeah yeah i i my second show was dave chappelle um i took like a bus to um downtown denver from boulder by myself because i none of my friends wanted to go and i didn't even know who he was i only it was 2003 i only knew him from you've got mail wow and saw that he was performing and

I was like he was so cute and you've got mail and so funny like I had such a crush on him in that movie that I was like oh my god this guy's a comedian and I started writing jokes I was like gonna try comedy pretty soon and so I was like I need to go see comedy shows and so that one was

coming up and I was like oh I know that guy and I Chappelle show hadn't come out yet and so I took a bus and it was oh i was the only white wow how things have changed now it'd be half and half yeah yeah yeah uh but it was so it was like it was like man i remember people were dancing on stage i mean it was not a typical comedy show it was a dave chapelle you see if you if you're a comedy fan and you have an angle on a comedian that you think's gonna be huge go see them now when they're still doing clubs because it's it's an experience that you will not be able to get until they're on the way down and they're like 65 and no one cares anymore and they're on their way down then you can maybe catch them in

clubs again but they're not going to be the same. Catch them now before they blow up. Catch me now on the road because my ticket prices are going to go up and this tour has already been announced and the venues are set. So these are venues from before the roast, you guys. So these are like, you can see me in more intimate spaces than I think we're going to start seeing me in pretty soon. You've got to stop in at a club every once in a while. I mean, not just doing the store or something. You've got to do a weekend at a club every once in a while. I mean, not just doing the store or something. You gotta do a weekend at a club every once in a while.

You get a different read on your jokes. You get a different feel. Yeah, well, that's where I'll definitely always go to try out specials and work on the next thing. Is where? And I think that's, it's clubs. Like when we went out to Brea, that was so fun. And it was just like nice to have a weekend

where we just wrote during the day, performed at night. Don't have to travel every day. We're all in one place. We weren't traveling all weekend. Yeah, it was awesome. You had a breezy hotel. I still think about that hotel because of the breeze.

It's not like Brea is a beachfront. It was a beautiful breeze going through. It's just... It was nice. I'd do it again for sure. Well, I have a lot of dates Coming up this weekend Gonna be in Salt Lake City

Friday night And then Boulder Saturday Two shows At the Boulder Theater Which is so exciting Because that's the first

Town I ever performed Stand-up comedy in And I haven't been back To perform since And it's where JonBenet Ramsey Thing happened Anyway And then The following week It's gonna be Indianapolis And Cleveland And I haven't been back to perform since. And it's where JonBenet Ramsey thing happened.

Anyway, and then the following week, it's going to be Indianapolis and Cleveland and then a bunch of more dates coming up. You can check it all out at NikkiGlazer.com. And yeah, thanks for being a bestie. Thanks for listening to the podcast. I hope you have a good weekend. Next time you hear me, I'll be 40. Wait, yes.

You're 40 now. Yeah, that's true. Because we recorded this episode before my birthday. And my birthday is this weekend. And we'll have a recap of my birthday tomorrow. So when I said yesterday's show before, just know that I thought this was happening the week before. Yeah.

And what I do mean is that on tomorrow's show, you will hear a recap of my birthday. Hopefully, if I remember to do it next week, I'm going to re-record it. I love you guys. Thanks for listening. Don't be cool. Bye! Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also

back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app,

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