The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #448 Brian is Back! Chris in Studio! Airport Shenanigans, Dangerous Situations as a Child, & Dallas Cowboy Cheerleads Doc

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Nikki is reunited with Brian and joined by Chris Convy in this episode. Brian talks about his surgery and how his gallbladder was a size of a condom - not sure if we are talking wrapper or balloon. Nikki discusses her interactions at the airport and how to befriend airport employees. Nikki and Chris still haven't landed on a name for their dog. A brainstorming and honesty session about puppy names occurs holds barred! Nikki talks about her latest stories on the road and doesn't appreciate audience members recording sets. She goes into length explaining why that is unacceptable at comedy shows. Nikki and Brian share horrifying stories from childhood about being insane with siblings (nearly killing them!). Chris shares his thoughts on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader doc and Brian shares the latest on the AGT tryouts.  Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrangeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. Brian's back. That's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Welcome to the show. Brian's back. He's back. He doesn't have a gallbladder anymore, but it's Brian Frangie. Great way to lose weight. Chris Convey is also in studio with me in St. Louis. Welcome to the show.

Brian, welcome back. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yes, I lost exactly two ounces by removing that gallbladder. Two ounces? Yeah, two ounces. How big is it? I don't know.

It's not big. It's like the size of a, honestly, like the size of a condom. Whoa. That's like the best thing I could think of. It's kind of like. Yeah, what else is that size? But those are all different sizes. That's a good point.

Yeah, what kind? It's the size of a shirt or a shoe or a hat yeah what other things are condom size i guess like a lollipop wrapper that you get at the dentist condoms condoms are bigger than the lollipop a match a matchbook yeah but condom like in a package a condom that oh yeah like a round yeah no it's it's undone and it's filled with stuff. So I would say like a condom half filled with water. That's what it... Only half filled, though. Oh, okay.

I was picturing like a condom in the wrapper. Okay. I could have said balloon, but balloon would have... Tiny balloon. And then we would have... You could have said condom, Brian. And then we'd be back where we fucking started. A gallbladder is the size of a tiny penis-sized balloon.

Okay. Good to know. And how do you feel? Pretty good. After this conversation. Yeah, after this conversation, I feel upset, bewildered, confused. You came back to work too soon. Okay, so I thought you were having it like later than you were but I followed

up asking you how you're feeling about this upcoming surgery and you were like I already had it um so you had it on last Monday yeah almost a week and a day ago and I feel better now than I did before the surgery I felt like I was being poisoned and And now like the poison, I'm not receiving the poison anymore. So there's holistically, I feel a lot better. I feel more mental clarity. I feel more energy. I'm obviously still recovering from the incisions and things like that. So I'm like not like running a marathon.

But without a doubt, this was so far, knock on wood, a great decision. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah. And I want to hear that. Yeah. Gilly got spayed on Monday, too. You guys both had something removed on Monday. Wow. Whatever this dog's name is. What size was the thing she had removed?

I just wanted to thank all the besties who reached out, who told me about their gallbladder experiences. Wow. A lot of besties have had their gallbladders out, and they're all fine. No one sent me a message that was like, don't do it. I got it done and it was terrible. Everyone was like, I did it.

I'm fine. Everything's great. And there was one bestie in particular who got their gallbladder removed at the same hospital in Austin that I went to the emergency room for. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at that. I know the world's just filled with people in different places i just saw a thing today like a reel that was like talking about how i sent it

to my friends and now i already forgot the whole gist of it but it's like you are we're all on the same planet together every hundred years it's a whole new batch of people and you got to kind of look at the people you're here with is like we're all in this ship together and it's so crazy that we ended up at the same time instead of just being being one of these people that's like i hate people oh yeah gotta hate people or like even like in traffic you just loathe you just make enemies of everyone you're walking on the street somebody cuts you off that's an enemy yeah you're in traffic you're just making enemies i heard a good one recently and you're not gonna like this because it is scatological but you're supposed to um try when someone cuts you off and does something really aggressive to get ahead of you think that that

person has to go to number two so so bad and then you kind of like go all right all right that guy's yeah stuff going on yeah that you know my thing and it has always been this way and besties know this is like when someone when i accidentally like cut someone off or something or like do something wrong i immediately want forgiveness and yet i'm not able to give it to anyone who does that to me so i'm trying to remember the times that i've done stupid things where i'm just like oh i need to get over you know the Louis CK joke of like but I want to go there now and I want to go there but it's easy to give forgiveness when somebody is sorry but if somebody doesn't give you the wave a bad motion you're it's difficult to oh I always wave frantically thank you so much where they're like kind of like no

it's okay in St. Louis there's this thing of like everyone is so nice here or at least like prides themselves on being like fair that they do this thing that Chris and I realized. Like there'll be two lanes that merge right into one. Let's say it's an on-ramp onto the highway and there's two lanes merging. Well, St. Louisans don't want to ever cut in line. So they won't take the side that is supposed to do like a zipper motion. It's called the zipper. And so they all line up in one and then no one's in the side one. And if you go in the side one, everyone looks like you're like trying to cut the line or something when it's really like, no, guys, this is the way it's supposed to work.

So people are out politing each other. Meanwhile, traffic is being backed up on the road that the zipper method is trying to alleviate. Yes. road that the zipper method is trying to alleviate yes and then i will say another thing about st louis drivers that i've noticed is that they because of this same thing of like they don't like rudeness they don't like cutting man they don't let people in like in la and and and i think i guess new york i've driven in like other places i feel like they let you la is probably the only other place i've driven a car they let you merge when you're like, oh,

I just need to get like shit. I forgot. People just are like, yeah, it worked in this all day. It doesn't matter. New York city, they do not let you in in New York city.

St. Louis, they don't either. If you're trying to get from Long Island into Manhattan and you have to cross the, you know, the George Washington bridge or whatever, it's like you have to literally like pretend you're going to hit the other car before they let you in. You have to be like, look, I don't give a fuck. I'll hit your car.

I just want to get in front of you. But that's the language there. There's different language all over for these things. In New York, that's... I used to... This is going to sound like a brag, but I used to ride my motorcycle all around New York. Oh, shit. Damn, Chris is cool to sound like a brag, but I used to ride my motorcycle all around New York.

Oh, shit. Damn, Chris is cool. I know, I'm cool. I didn't know you were so cool. Oh, what about now? Oh my God. Oh, whoa. Sunglasses. He just put his sunglasses on.

Okay. I didn't know who I was dating. I just, oh my God, I feel like I'm cheating now because now I'm with a guy who rode a motorcycle 10 years ago. I still ride that motorcycle. Yeah, you do.

Or it's a different one now. Yeah. So you're riding around with your helmet on? So you're riding around, yes, usually with your helmet on. And there's just different rules in different places. And so it isn't necessarily rude to do certain things in New York. It's just you have to be aggressive to let them know that you mean business. Otherwise, they're all playing by the same rules and so it looks horrible to you if you're from

some place where everybody's like doing something different but it's just different yeah it's I will say that um yeah I'll let anyone in in front of me but if they don't like give me a thank you it's just so not okay I can't handle that holding the door for someone no thank you no politeness like i i will be that person that's like you're welcome i'll do it i'll say it you don't mind being a little passive aggressive no because i'm a woman they're not gonna hit me but if i was a man i probably wouldn't you know like if a man to a man i probably wouldn't and i will say um the other day i was at the airport, and I was on time, like, to get everything done that I needed to do on time.

But I get in line at the, you know, priority line. Ooh. And there's, like, two people in front of me, which is kind of... That's cooler than a motorcycle. Did you ride your motorcycle on the line? Yeah. And I waited for the two people in front of me, which is a little dense for a priority line. Usually at St. Louis, there's just like no one there.

Yeah. I get to the front. She's like, I can't find your ticket. I'm like, oh shit, sorry. I'm at Delta. I'm supposed to be at American. I walk over to American. The priority line is like six people dense.

And now I'm looking like I have five minutes to check my bags before things go down. And I am stressing because I have to make a connection. Like it's, this isn't good. Five minutes to check my bags before things go down and I am stressing because I have to make a connection like it's this isn't good five minutes to check a bag and now there's one person at the desk and she's on the phone you know when they pick up the phone that's not good it's not good so and she has four other people after that guy so I start panicking and I just start I write you I write everyone in my life I'm not gonna make to make it. I'm not going to make it. And I do the thing that I hate doing, but I tell other people, you got to do it.

I say to the guy in front of me, I'm so sorry. I'm going to miss my flight. I'm going to, yeah, I think I said that just to make sense to him. I was like, I'm not going to miss my flight, but I was going to miss the baggage check-in time, in which case I'd miss my flight. And he goes, I'm late too. And I go, how late are you? When miss my flight. And he goes, I'm late too. And I go, how late are you? When's your flight?

And he goes, it's boarding now. And I go, well, you can't check a bag anymore. If your flight's boarding, that means it's- You had this conversation with him? Yeah, I go, ooh, that's bad. I go, you can't check a bag before, it cuts off at 45 minutes before your flight. And he goes, well.

And I go, all right, well, cool. So then that guy kind of gets taken away for some reason because i guess the authorities were on yeah once you're mean to what does he do if you're mean to a blonde woman they take you out and i get to the front somehow and this woman is like not happy with me um and how late i am and i'm like i i was already a minute over so it's 44 minutes before and I go can you please find a way to check my bag I'm so sorry she's like you have a dog too and I was like I already called about the dog and she goes

you need to fill out this form and I'm filling it out and she goes just the bottom ma'am just the bottom because I'm like trying to fill it and I'm like I didn't hear you you're kind of mumbling these people are experts at just like saying things that like to each other that you, and sometimes you go, what?

And they go, I was talking to her. And you're like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to. Cause you look down, you don't look at me. Um, and so then she, she gives me my ticket. I'm like, thank you so much. That was so helpful. You made like, you made my day run to the gate and now my, my boarding pass will not. And she goes, do you want your boarding pass?

And I go, no, I can get on my phone. Cause I just don't want to bother this woman anymore she hates me and then I go to my app it's not coming up on my app the boarding pass you need a boarding pass to go through security everyone knows that so I am now very close to my flight taking off and I go back to the go

up the stairs back to the desk and I was like I go I just go up to her because she's helping someone else but I just don't have time I'm like I need a boarding pass well won't let me check in and she goes I asked you if you checked in already yeah and I go no you didn't you asked if I had a boarding pass and I thought I could pull it up on here and she goes you didn't check in yet and I was like but it doesn't let me check in because I have a dog I have to check in you have to check me in that's the way it goes when you check a dog it doesn't let you check in online ever yeah and so yeah

Brian knows so she goes I asked you if you checked in. I said, you asked me if I wanted a paper boarding. I was like, I'm not getting into this. I go, you're right. I'm sorry. And she goes, well, I'm going to have to book you on a later flight. And I was like, I just go, I don't know what I'm going to do. And I just start crying.

And she then starts typing furiously and then just hands me my boarding pass and goes, you better run. And then gets me on the flight. So if I hadn't cried i would not have made that flight and i know that for a fact i want to try to empathize with those people because like they have to work all day at an airport yes and there's just constant angry people coming at them and i've got to imagine this woman was in like her 50s i'm just guessing no 30s yeah so she's like between her 30s and her 50s.

No, because he's taking note of that. Well, the longer she's there, the angrier she'll get over time was my assumption. By the way, I just said you think we're all as if I'm in my 50s. I've accepted that I'm practically in my 50s now that I've turned 40. I'm already 50s. This weekend, we heard some guy talking about hanging out with older people, and he goes, yeah, well, it's a bunch of guys in their 50s and we were trying to guess his age afterwards and anya made the point

because he disparaged guys in their 50s he's definitely in his 30s and we nailed it because 40 he was like a bunch of 50 year old guys and we're like you wouldn't say that in your 40s because you're close to that you're too close so he's 30s it was interesting so brian you're close to that. You're too close. So he's 30s. It was interesting. So Brian, you're right. I do want to empathize with them as well. It's hard to. It's like, I can't. And I do. I feel bad. No, it's terrible.

They're not paying them enough. They're not getting paid enough. And it's the same thing with post office workers. People show up and they just don't know the rules. The people working there know the rules perfectly. And then they don't love that you don't know the rules

and that it's making everybody's life harder, including theirs and other passengers. Right. And so it's just, you're getting the worst of people because they're stressed

about traveling. They're not great at it usually. Priority line's a little bit different. I mean. My mom goes, she just wants those buddy passes. That's why she's doing the job and i go this woman is not a world traveler i promise you it's just a job that showed up on monster.com like it's not my mom goes she's getting those free flights though like my mom's always looking at how these people are getting the perks yeah and so. And so then this week,

and I go there every week, every Thursday or Friday, I'm there at this exact same time to check in for a flight. And this week I'm going there and I'm like, I really hope she's not there. Like, I know she'll remember me.

Not the same woman. And she's there. Well, no, don't you want to go and be like, well, you get there early and be a responsible human. I wasn't early. I was late,

but I was on time. But I wasn't like super early. But I was just like, she's going to remember I was the frantic girl who was like, who she had to be irresponsible. I was, I was, I wasn't late, but I was, I was on time, but I wasn't like super early, but I was just like, she's going to remember. I was the frantic girl who was like, who she had to be like, ma'am, calm down kind of thing. Remember we,

we met somebody or I met somebody cause you were running late and a fight that we were both taking. And I got there early and I made like buddies with this person, American. And she was amazing. And I think she ended up like knowing about the radio show that I do. And she knew who you were and then I think I might have gotten her number or something

and would be like the next week but once she found out about my motorcycle it was game over well so I show up so my mom drops me off and I told my mom this whole story and she's like oh I hope she's not there and then I show up and I'm like she's here and I text her and I walk up and she goes oh I checked you in

last week I was hoping she would remember and I go I go yeah and you saved my ass I was like thank you so much and she actually did like you know she's definitely she she was about to not those people have that's what annoyed me and well here's that she could have done that without me crying here's the prop yes she could have but that without me crying. Here's the problem. Yes, she could have. But I think that they're always having to try to teach lessons because they don't want this to happen again to you or other people. And so there has to be a little bit of a balance of like, hey, you messed up, but I helped you.

And also, they're slaves to these horrible policies. So because this problem I have with America that I love so dearly is like everybody's litigious. And so then companies have to have policies and those policies have to be enforced by people that don't want to do it. You know, they're putting this onus on these workers that aren't making enough money to deal with the worst humanity has to offer and they must be being checked on the if they're following the policy so much yeah and like it's because otherwise you wouldn't give a shit about the policy i've had i've had more people do nice things like that person has yeah and sort of bent a rule a little or done something then i've had people be bad to me yeah absolutely i will say there's more good people and i'm glad that she's one of the people little or done something, then I've had people be bad to me.

Yeah, absolutely. I will say there's more good people. And I'm glad that she's one of the people that are in this world with me on this ship for these hundred years. Because I said, you helped me so much last time. And then she has to get on the phone because I'm in the bulkhead seat and the dog can't, there's no seat for the dog to go under. And I need to be in, I got moved to the front row. I'm texting my assistant like, hey, you can't ever put me in front row.

Even though I, I already told you I hate front rows, but she was like, I didn't, they just bumped you up. And then that's where it put you. And then, so then she gets on the phone with the gate agent and she's like,

she has a dog. She can't be in the front row. And the woman on the phone is not understanding. She goes, she's new. She was like, I need you to understand that this, this lady,

she called me a lady, but she was fine, has a dog. It can't go in. And she's explained it like 14 times. She gets up and she goes, oh my God. I go, wait, what was going on there? She was like, she's new.

Things are. And then we bonded over someone like me last time. They have to put out their fellow employees and ask for favors to get all that stuff going. And so she was actually ended up being so cool. And I think now we're friends. You're buddies. Nice. And I'll get her number for you to hook up with later.

Just tell her about the motorcycle. Lady, by the way, I think is in the running for the dog's name. Lady. Because of Bill Burr, how he goes, Lady. Yeah. And she just woke up from that. Allie had a family dog growing up that was named Lady. Very good dog.

Lady's a cute name. She just seems like a girl to me, though. And we wanted to name her Girly, but my friend Kirsten's dog's name is Girly. I think you could name her Girl. We could just call her Girl, and you could call her Girly. Or any variation of Girl. And then we get to say Good Girl and Bad Girl. Right.

Just the way we want to. Yes. And then we get to say good girl and bad girl. Right. Just the way we want to. Yes. And then that's her name is girl. And then you get to be like, hey, girl. Hey, girl. Oh, that's interesting. I really don't like that name. I'm just going to be honest.

Girl? Yeah. Why? I don't know. It just sounds like a little bit like trying too hard to come up with something that no other dog's name would be. Lady is like a classic old name. The other names you mentioned before seem to be like more normal dog names. Girl seems to be like a gimmick.

In my opinion. What if we said girly to people who ask? Then that's her name. Sure. Yeah. Well, whatever you say. This is the problem is everyone's asking. But this isn't a kid where you're like,

oh, I can't name my daughter the same name as my friend's daughter. Kirsten's pregnant, and I know the name of her baby that's going to be due in August, and I thought it would be so funny if I named this dog that girl's name. It would be so fucking funny.

Fuck you. Kirsten, can you imagine? Yeah. Let's name it Sarah Lena. Oh funny you kirsten can you imagine yeah um let's name it saralina oh my god that's funny i would be so happy to be named after a dog yeah or to be a dog to have a dog no gary veder who was on the show the last episode named his daughter or son after a dog that he and his wife both loved they owned a dog walking company and i was like that's so cute that's awesome and it's so and it's so a thing that a comedian would someday be like can you believe my parents named me after a dog and we'd all go oh my god what terrible parents even though they're like you could be great parents for naming your kid after a dog because it's like funny and cool or it's like they're the word we can spin anything brian

what names what names do you think so a friend just saw the dog for the first time and the first thing that came to his mind, Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane? Yes. That's just what came, that just was in his heart for this dog. For a girl?

Okay, Laney. What about you? I hate when you are talking to someone, like sometimes I meet someone whose name is Jack and my dog's name is Jack. And then I go, Jack, that's my dog's name. And then sometimes those people get offended. Yeah.

I hate those people. Those people can rot in a burning shit. I get excited when people have a dog named Nicky. In fact, I don't think I've told this on the podcast. I hope that I haven't. Is there a sound effect that we can do that's like breaking news? That's it. And we'll be right back after this with this breaking news story. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay

on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, I don't know that if I told this, but I met a bestie. I've told you, Chris, I met a bestie at a meet and greet, and she was with her husband, and she was very excited to meet me, so sweet. And was like,

Oh my God, we were listening to your podcast on the way here. Like, this is like such a dream come true. It was so nice. And she was like, and she was like, Jonathan.

And she like calls over her husband. Cause she's having a moment with me first. And then she's like, I need, I need him here for this. And she was like, I need to tell you both something. And did I tell this yet,

Brian? And she goes, she goes, uh, Jonathan, um, uh, something and did i tell this yet brian and she goes she goes uh jonathan um uh nikki's nephew and niece are named poppy and arlo and i just see his face drop and she goes those are our dog's names and she was like i named our dogs after nikki's niece and nephew and i didn't want you to know at the time and he was like you you did like he felt so left out but also like kind of confused but also like didn't care he was just like okay that's cool i was like i'm sorry jonathan like you cut because i know that would really irritate you

oh yeah it would be like what have you done to me yes yes so being cucked yeah it was but he was really like i because i was like taking care of him i was like oh my god this really doesn't mean anything she was just you know it's there my niece and i feel very cute and she was like we were listening to your podcast on the way here and you were talking about poppy and i thought you might also say arlo and he would have connected it and i didn't want to tell him until we were here with you but it was really it was a very cute moment the fans have been doing the sweetest things like Like that means so much to me. Oh, that t-shirt thing is insane.

Oh my God, this weekend I am at Foxwoods Casino, which is this huge casino campus in the middle of Connecticut. I don't know if it's in the middle. I don't really know where we were in Connecticut. You're not good at geography. No, and I have no idea even where Connecticut is, to be honest with you.

And I go to the Starbucks. There's only one Starbucks on campus. And I go alone. I wanted Anya to walk me because I had a show there the night before. So I'm like kind of recognizable, especially, you know, if I'm just like out and about in a town, I would never care about going to Starbucks on my own because I don't feel recognizable. But when I'm at a casino where I'm performing and my poster's everywhere, like I was just like, I just don't, it's a long walk.

I was like, Anya, will you go with me? And she was like, she just gave me her hat and she was like, you'll be fine. She had, she had really needed to take a nap

and she was tired and it's a long walk to Starbucks. So I was like, actually, okay, I'll just go. So I put on my hat and I rush over there

and I didn't get recognized at all. Pretty good, good, moved very fast, looked at the ground and probably no one gave a shit. Why is Nikki running with that hat on? And saying,

don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me. As I walk through all these casino tables where no one's focused on anything except the cards. Okay, so then I get to the Starbucks and I lock eyes with this girl who just goes like, and her name is Stephanie L. Kelly because she gave me a friendship bracelet with her name on it so that I would remember her with her Instagram handle so I would know. She is like, she's by herself.

I literally think Stephanie was perched up at the Starbucks waiting for me. It was like at the watering hole trying to shoot a buffalo. You know, like she's going to show up. Yes. And Stephanie, you're right. I had been there two hours before. And I was probably there two hours after I saw you as well. She saw me.

It could have been coincidental, but I do not begrudge her waiting there. I would have done the same exact thing. I think it's actually pretty cool and she was wearing the shirt that chris made for himself to wear to era's tour last year when we went to see taylor which is a bunch of pictures of me with it and it says taylor swift on it and it took you a long time before you realized it wasn't taylor swift i was just like, oh, that's, oh my God, that's a cool shirt. Oh my God, it's me! And then I saw, when I saw her shirt, I

recognized it immediately because it's a really cool design. And I was like, how did you, what is, how did you get that shirt? And she was like, I messaged Chris back when I saw it, and then he told me about, and I probably tagged the t-shirt company at the time too. So she had it made and

she had all these friendship bracelets made one says um gilly which gilly I gave her earlier and she chewed on it until it broke um and then she has one that says uh the smallest man who ever lived bridge which is my favorite Taylor Swift song and then

she has one that says football and JLo which are two things that I've done 180s on this year and then she has one that says football and j-lo which are two things that i've done 180s on this year yeah and then she um and someday you'll die it was the nicest thing she was so excited she had moved around some things to even come she was like maybe my biggest fan i've ever met did the back of the shirt say hashtag team helion oh no i don't think it did that's so funny that chris did but people can buy this shirt so the bakedes has made it available on their website. Yeah, Baked Tees. Baked TS.

Baked TS on Instagram. Yeah. And it's in St. Louis. It's so cool. And yeah, Chris has said Team Healy on the back when we went to Arras because that was around the time that Taylor was getting a lot of heat

for dating Matt Healy. And Chris had heard me being like, leave her alone. Let her have fun with this guy. As we all know, she wanted us to say in the first place, Swifties, we're not, I wasn't a Sarah or Hannah.

You know it from the get go. And so you had team Healy on the back, which was hilarious, which no one knew the impact that Healy would have at that moment on her discography but man do we know now anyway this is this is the coolest thing that she did so she's straight up she goes i go let's get a picture and she goes she shows me her phone and her phone is my phone case

which is a phone case i bought two weeks ago when i got a new phone i haven't talked about on the podcast she just saw it on the podcast and she bought it. And the reason she bought it is probably not because she loves it. It's because she knows that I bought Taylor Swift's phone case and she said that you're my Taylor Swift, so I bought your phone case. And she got my phone case.

And it wasn't like I made an announcement, I got this phone case. She just like sleuthed it. And that was so cool to me. That's pretty impressive. I felt amazing. It's like In conception for fans it was it was like what I would do for it was she did exactly what I would do she's right now I'm her biggest fan so I'm going to get

all of that stuff yeah you have to get my Stephanie Kelly Stephanie L Kelly Stephanie L Kelly um yeah she was awesome. That was so cool. There were so many really sweet busties over the weekend that I hugged, and we just shared just such a sweet moment. Good shows, right? You're going to see Stephanie next to me walking around in that hat. She loves Carl's Drive-In. The hat that Anya got, because it's like a dead friend's logo that they made for his funeral. And Anya was like, please don't lose this.

And I go, I'll just get you one made if I do. And she was like, I don't want to hear that. And I'm like, but it'll be that you won't know. And she was like, I don't want. And I go, I'll take a picture of it in case. I'll just get it. But she was like, no, I want that one. And I understand.

But anyway. Shows were. But I, anyway. Shows were good this weekend, right? Yeah, they were amazing. Are you having fun right now? Yes, I'm having a lot of fun. I'm having, yes, it is so great. It's, yeah, it's nice to be selling out shows and not worrying about promoting them like crazy

and just having audiences that like want me to be insane and like say crazy shit. And like, they're not that horrified by it. And like, I'm really going to, I did some stuff this weekend that I was like, I came up with this idea to do a bit.

I don't even want to say what it's about because I'll probably get canceled. The mere mention of the concept, what it's about. But I was like, if I can make this a joke that I could do ultimately on the couch for like Kimmel or something, I will succeed in my life. And I think that it's kind of there.

But during the bit that I was working on, because I was talking about getting canceled and I was like, speaking of, I'm going to do some jokes about this concept. And the audience is like, yikes. And I'm like, just stay with me because I'm on the right side of things. And then I go into it.

And there's some jokes that me and Ari Finley was on the road with us this weekend, Sean O'Connor. We wrote some jokes that were not the nicest. Yeah, Ari Finley known racist. Yeah. So everyone knows. So we wrote some jokes that were just kind of for us. And then I kind of said some of those just because it was just peppered them in. And,

and I felt safe in that room of like, we know, I know this is wrong and that I don't actually think this and all these things. And then I saw that people were filming me and that's never happened before. Yeah, that's bad. And I go, put away your camera.

I see you filming me. Usher, make her delete that. Usher was there. I see you filming me. Usher, make her delete that. Usher was there? Yeah. That's awesome. Did you bring the Usher box? And he's really good at getting through people's phones.

And then I realized even if the Usher made her delete it, like you can just go through deleted things and get it back. And it made it seem like, man, maybe now we should film this. Then other people started filming. Oh, yeah, definitely. And I'm like, God, do you really want to be the one who cancels me? Is that something that people want to do? People want to post on their Instagram

videos of you doing material that no one's seen before for their own social media clout. Whether or not it cancels you or not. Man, there is nothing worse than a grainy stand-up video out of context on someone's Instagram feed. You're such a loser if you do that. I understand why you do Instagram feed. You're such a loser if you do that.

I mean, I understand why you do it, but you really are a loser if you post that. That's easy because there are people listening to this right now that has been very excited about you or other comedians. And I want them to know they're losers. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. They're not losers.

Well, it's the same thing. I just read a tweet that's, you know, I read it. I saw it last year. But it's like, hey, everybody posting, you know, videos of your fireworks on Instagram. Nobody is watching. Yeah. Well, I guess I'm not calling you a loser because I've taken video of Taylor Swift, but I won't post it unless it's like really good footage because I'm looking at footage constantly on Instagram and I'm like, I see what's out there. And like, I know I've taken some videos

that's out of the audience shots, some of the best going, and I'll post that. But if you're posting stand-up clips that you don't, if you're not a comedian and don't really know the art of how, first of all, you shouldn't do it

because that's proprietary and it's something that I'm going to use later that isn't out, so it's not cool. It's different than music, right? So yeah, explain that whole idea. Well, yeah, it's a joke I'm going to use later that isn't out. So it's like, it's not cool. It's different than music, right? So, so yeah. Explain that whole idea. Well, yeah, it's a joke I haven't said before. And so it's in the early stages of like your, this is a live experience where we're just all supposed to be doing this together. Now you can say you heard that before and maybe show your friends the video then after it's now out and

be like, look at, I saw this version of it when you're in a living room with your friends, but posting it is just making me look not as good as I am and professional as I am because I'm working out new material. And it's- But then explain that. See, explain, I think that's interesting. Because I throw out a lot of stuff when a joke is raw

that is never gonna make the final one. Right, but we know that. But just to back it up a little bit. So comics go out. So they do an hour, right? They record an hour right they they record an hour for let's say hbo check out someday you'll die someday you'll die and vote for it and vote for it oh yeah but they'll do an hour right and then they'll tour right people will

will go watch that and be like oh i love nikki glazer and then they'll go on tour right yeah and during that tour they're doing new material right or some comics are doing some of the material from that but you do new material you don't want people to hear the stuff they just watched on the special on your with live you want people to have a new experience but during that new experience you are working out new material some bad notes in these new songs I'm singing. Like you're doing things that are, and it's fun to witness those bad notes being hit when you're live, but I don't want them on the internet out of context where people don't know that it's new.

So people are witnessing you experimenting with new material. And so you're working things out. Like I've seen Chris Rock, like before that big live special that he did. Yeah. And he did some things that were very similar, but they weren't the same as what I saw on the special and so he was working out the perfect way to do these and there's no

with an audience that without i can't do it in front of a mirror i can't do it in front of my stuffed animals i can't even do it with a zoom call with six other writers like you don't know how it's going to work in an audience without doing it in front of an audience so i and that's the fun part about stand-up is that you get to witness something that's only for you in that room. Like I'm not gonna, I'm gonna remember that room. You have me for an hour. Like we have each other

and there's no one else in the world that in that moment. And that's what's special. So that's what's special and beautiful about this art form is that there are, it's not going to a concert and you want to hear the exact songs that you heard from the album. You're hearing something new and different. And the new stuff is gonna be shaky maybe you'll never see again or amazing yes and you might get to see like i've told a lot of times i've told audiences you're gonna hear

that was the first time i ever said that because it just you inspired me to say that and you're gonna hear it on my next special and you're you please tell people you were there the you were the reason i came up with it because it it is a collaborative thing but i will say like i don't want to get to the point where i have to use those fucking bags that you put your phones in you know why because i like to be able to check my phone during a show i'm someone who looks at their phone even at eras tour i like to check my texts i like to check what time it is i like to check like i don't mind people looking at their phones during the show if they put it on a very you know low dim setting or what or and i want them to be order some dim sum i want them to be able to get on uber eats i want them to be able

to um take pictures too like pictures are great and video if you if you want to look at it later i don't mind video but gotta be sneaky about it don't like when you're just holding it up i can see it so clearly because it like the screen reflects back at me and it's my phone case bitch this isn't stephanie e kelly's fault yeah so it's just like i just wish people wouldn't do that and because i've never cared about that that much because i'm like i don't know like no one even cares what is going out about me but now i'm at this moment where it's like i have things to lose if you show the wrong clip of me at a show where I'm testing out a joke that is never gonna, I never intended it to make anywhere.

I just threw it out there. I'm testing. And, you know, someone could say, that's Nikki's new material. That's her big take on things. And then I could stand to lose things, honestly. Well, I think that's the thing that's problematic is if people see a video of you working something out and being like that's Nikki's stance where it's like something you just maybe came up with that's the thing about the way

Nikki does most of her writing is Nikki's coming up with a lot of it on stage as it's happening and I've said things that I would never stand behind or like that are just the craziest thing to say because I am comfortable with the crowd. And I know that this just stays here. And like, you know, I'm not saying words that you shouldn't say, by the way. Like I'm never you're never going to catch me saying the worst things in the world. But like I'm saying stuff that I don't mean a lot. And I just want it to be safe. But if it's not, I'll go do music.

And you guys don't want that. No one wants that. I'm doing it, but no one's begging for it, okay? So yeah, I mean, it's just, I understand the, you're not a loser, but you're, I'm just trying to, I guess I was just trying to make them feel bad. Like, oh, I don't want to be a loser, so i won't film yeah i'm doing the thing my mom did where she was like tried to scare me from ever going out so she said that if you when i was little if

you go past the driveway you will die wow you're a loser that's pretty crazy yeah and so my dad would come home from work a child brian it's insane so i my dad would come home from work and be like, because we lived on a river. So her whole thing was I'm going to fall in the river. Like our driveway went directly into a river. There's a road, you know, next to the river. But so my dad would come home from work and he's a river guy.

So he'd be like, let's go canoeing. And I'd be screaming, crying, like, but I couldn't even say we'll die. Like I didn't know the way to say it so um that's why i hate hikes and and canoeing wow probably because i think we'll die and we almost did one time my dad took us out canoeing on a trip with my family and my mom and sister were in a canoe and they got caught in this thing called the dreaded root wad where like the water like swirls around this root wad system and it can pull people and children under and their boat capsized and they were screaming. Oh, my God. My sister was like five and all we remember her screaming was, oh, mama, oh, mama, because it was so cold, and she was probably screaming for her mom,

and I remember my parents being very rattled after that, and I could tell, like, oh, my sister almost just died, because she almost drowned to death. It was that scary because they couldn't, we didn't go any further the rest of the night. We just stayed on that bank, and we had a lot more to do. Have you ever had moments in your childhood where your parents, like, you knew something massive

just happened because of their reaction? Not that I can remember off the top of my head. When they got divorced? Oh, yeah. That'll change things. Whoa, mama. Whoa, mama. Another time, I remember I was screaming, crying.

We were getting out of the car at a rest stop. We must have been six because we would drive from St. Louis to Cincinnati all the time after we moved to St. Louis from Cincinnati. We stopped at a rest stop and I was screaming, throwing a tantrum about something. I remember it was my dad wanted me to tie my shoes and I was like, ah! And I hated socks and I hated the strings on tying shoes

where they would go like... I just don't like cotton on cotton being tugged. I hate it. There you go. that's a taylor that's a taylor thing yes sounded like taylor even when you're oh i don't like when the cotton is like frayed and you can see this little strings coming off anyway so i was screaming i flew back um and we were by the car i just got out of the car flew back fell on the ground started thriving around and my head went right behind the wheel of a truck oh my god and it started backing up oh my dad fell to his knees bloodied

his knees horribly pulled me out as the truck was coming over my hair oh it almost crushed my skull and i remember like that was just like a I'll never forget my parents will never forget it obviously but that was just I threw a lot of tantrums when I was that age but that one stayed with me

because my parents were like catatonic after it you know like couldn't eat and yeah you didn't intend to throw yourself behind the tire right no I was just like no

I wasn't suicidal you remember what it was about? It had to be about socks and shoes. Like, I really just hated socks and tying shoes or, like, confining my feet. My bunions were already cranking at that point. But, yeah, I was just throwing a, you know, a child's tantrum. And I just remember sensing something had shifted after that, where they were both like, oh my God, she almost just died. And they were so bummed out that it didn't happen.

I do have a moment like that that happened to me too. Okay. We'll hear about it right when we get back from this. Okay, Brian, what is your moment you remember? I remember me and my brother is three years older than me, and we used to fight a lot, like physically fight. And we were playing, and I remember he was like, there was always a moment in the fight. I was younger, I was smaller, so he would always be able to defeat me.

But there was always a moment in the fight where I would go insane, and I would always beat my brother if I went nuts. Like I would turn into a creature of, I would just go insane and I would always beat my brother if I went nuts. Like I would turn into a creature of, I would just go insane. It's Wolverine Berserker style. I would go Berserker, I would go like Super Saiyan

and then he'd be like, I have no chance because I'm not going to be as crazy as he's going to be right now. Like you would just get, like you would fight dirty. I would just do anything. My sister would do the same goddamn thing.

Yeah. It would be like before that moment, it would be like we're fighting but we're not really going to hurt each other. And then if I go super saiyan, it's like he's going to try to kill me literally. Yes. Yes. We all know that sibling that can just switch like that. Okay.

Yeah. So it's like being pushed into a corner. So we were playing, you remember the show Get Smart? Yeah. So in Get Smart, Agent Smart used to do this thing where he'd take the butt of a gun and he'd hit someone in the back of the neck and they would knock them unconscious.

It was just like a move they did. Right, right. And so we had these two like cap guns and the game we were playing was called Get Smart where we would bullwhip each other, whatever it's called. Pistol whip.

Pistol whip each other in the back of the neck to try to knock each other unconscious. And so we were doing that to each other and we were running around the house doing that. Yeah, it was a fun game. And then at a certain point, I lost my mind and I was like, I can't take this anymore. And I went super saiyan.

And my brother, you could see the fear in his eyes. And I charged him and I got him to the ground. And then he was lying on his back. And I leaped off the couch into the air knees first right onto his back it was insane and my brother was in excruciating pain he was writhing around he was really hurt and my dad came and he saw this and that's when my dad had that reaction whereas like he's like this isn't just horseplay you like you could have paralyzed your brother so it is horseplay it's christopher reeve style so um god i hope people didn't have their phones out for that um well yeah that that that that rage that comes out Yeah. My sister used to have it.

You couldn't elicit that. There were certain words or a thing I could say that would make her turn into that berserker thing you're talking about. Yeah, the berserker. Why don't you just use the Hulk analogy? Does he turn green when he gets so crazy? Yeah, you could do that.

You Hulk out. Okay, so it'd be like the same thing. All right. Soma, you know that. I famously, when we went to go see Avengers. No, not Avengers. This is- Yeah, this is one of the X-Men.

It might have been the Wolverine. Yeah. It might have been X-Men Wolverine. Okay. It's the one where he wakes up in the morning and he stretches after he gets out of bed. He gets out of bed. He doesn't have a shirt on.

It's a shot from behind. Yes. Oh, yes. This is around, I remember this, because this is around 2016. You talk about this a lot. Yeah, we did. And I accidentally, didn't mean to,

but my body just gasped. She audibly gasped. That's the sound that came deep from within my, like, my womb. I don't know what was happening. And I gasped. And, like, I my, like, my womb. I don't know what was happening. And I gasped. And like, I just was like,

like, and Chris heard and like, just, I don't know. I was like, did you just get, like, it was such a lame thing for me to do,

but I didn't mean to. It wasn't like I was trying to be like, oh my God, look at his back. It's so like, there's nothing more lame to me that, than someone trying to make someone feel like, look how hot I that guy yeah you've never been like no um but i was gonna say my sister we used to don't upset her if she's holding a remote or holding something because

she'll just throw that thing like she'll throw the scissors she'll throw the remote at your head one time she held me and kirsten hostage um when I was supposed to be babysitting her with a knife. And she's so embarrassed by this story to this day. But she wouldn't let us pick up the phone to call my parents because she was holding a butcher knife next to it. And we were both like, you're fucking nuts. And she was like, I'll cut you. And she seriously would have. She was so crazy about that.

If you would have gone for the phone, she would have. Oh, yeah. She would have. She absolutely would have. She was nuts. It was really scary. But then I was more verbally, like, assaulting. And my dad used to just see, yes.

My dad used to just say, Nikki goes for the jugular. Jesus Christ. You just go for the jugular, don't you? Like, I'll just say the thing that the whole family has been tiptoeing around. Well, it's all because we know mom, blah, blah. Like, I'd say the thing that, like, has been tiptoeing around well it's all because we know mom blah blah like i'd say the thing that like no one wants to talk about yeah and uh and that would really devastate people but i will say that i've been i've been kind of almost entering into

these like moments where i'm just i'm like i can't take it anymore and i like lose control but it's been happening in my pilates classes um Last Monday I did it, and then this Monday. I think I should not work out on Mondays after road weekends. It's like Garfield. Yes. I should just sit on a plate, a platter of lasagna that I just ate. Yeah, it really is. So what do you think the deal is with that?

So I went to the class last week and we just get to there. I'm already struggling because it's like 10 minutes in. I'm like, I don't know how to like I'm going to do this whole thing. But I think that probably every class is like, how am I going to do this whole thing? This is hard right now. But I always persevere. But not always. Because last Monday we get to this one thing that was kind of not easy for me to do in terms of everything's hard.

But this one was really like my body doesn't do it right. And I just get so narrowed at myself for not doing it right. And I just go, you know, I'm done. And I rolled up my thing and I walk out of the class 15 minutes in. Do you stomp out? Do you roll up your mat like you're proving a point?

No, that might've been the old Nikki. I definitely do this just like, this one's my fault. Like, I'm'm not trying to be like you made up this thing and i don't like it instructor because yesterday i was at my regular pilates class that i go to all the time that i love love love the other one i left i it's kind of like the hot pilates thing and i don't love it so that was easier for me to walk out of but this one yesterday the girl came up right away and was because she saw me just get a towel and start wiping the thing off and um she goes is it what's you know she's like are you okay and i go no i'm just not feeling it today and she goes i respect that and i had to walk out of the class in front of everyone and i want to just say it's very empowering i did not start clapping for you

if they weren't in a holding a plank at the time i'm sure they would have their ass cheeks were slowly being flexed and clapping they um i've seen it happen one time in a pilates class that i went to where a girl quit halfway through and i remember being like good for you but also like couldn't couldn't tough it out could you yeah and then i know that's what they thought for me but i just couldn't do it and i want to just empower more girls to leave classes because first of all if I would have just not showed up to that class, which I was planning on kind of thinking about doing, I would have been

charged $15. This way I did a 16 minute workout. I didn't get charged $15. And that's the end of that list. And I left with my I didn't leave with my I did not leave with dignity.

I felt off the rest of the night. You're also giving a gift. You're giving a gift to the rest of the class for, they're supporting you and saying good for you. But they feel better about themselves because they're going to finish the class when other people couldn't. Nikki Glaser couldn't hack it. But I've read a few things that say, so often people just don't want to work out and and there's a lot of people that have said just go go for five minutes yeah and if you get through the five minutes you do the 10 and if you if you get through that then oh maybe you can just do this

yeah and if you can't get through it then just go home and that's okay and i think that's why i always say like what they're thinking when they say that is you're gonna wind up doing the hour because you're gonna see totally but for you to get up at 11 minutes is such a fuck you to those people and their smug attitude with their little trick final thought i just didn't feel cute my outfit was mismatched because my laundry wasn't good i was pale i have a burn on my leg. I was also on this new machine. They're trying to fit more machines down there. So they added one right by the bathroom.

And the machine doesn't, it's not the same as the others. And it's in the corner. And I just felt like I don't like that. And the ropes were like, you know, when you're doing arm stuff and the ropes were different sizes. So I had to tilt to make it work. So it was a lot of things. But it was also, I just started my just started my period which girlies you know like i just was tired i felt bloated

you know the word i wanted to say and didn't say i felt i just i and i traveled eight hours that day on two different planes i was like i shouldn't be doing this but you book the class because these classes fill up so freaking fast yeah that you have to book it two weeks in advance and go, I guess I'm going to want to work out when I get home on a four o'clock flight at six o'clock. No, no, I didn't.

You had no business being in that class. I had no business being there. And I went to the front desk and I go, I'm sorry. Cause that is a different girl. And she was like, what's going on? Like you can tell it never happens there.

She was like, is everything okay? And I was just like, I just, I'll see you tomorrow. Those girls in that class are for real for real it's they're they all have amazing bodies i mean it's it's it's you don't go in there and you can't half-ass fucking anything in there so it was really um i was proud of myself though and i empower more people to just leave a class

early if you're not feeling it but i will say I felt shitty the rest of the night. Like I couldn't feel good about it because I felt like I failed in some way. And I want to double up today because I promised myself that. And I'm not going to. But it's like there is a part of me that feels – like have you quit things in your life? Like have you like straight up – have you guys like felt – because I've quit so many things in life. And I want to know like – I want to find an example of when it felt really good to quit. Well, as I get older, I learned that there's, I have wisdom about working out.

Whereas if I'm working out and like a muscle is twinging or I feel like I'm pushing it too hard. I used to just go push through it, Brian, you can do it. And sometimes you get injured. And now whenever I feel like that if my knee is tweaked or something like that I'm like I'm just not gonna finish and I'll rest and that is to me wisdom it's not shame it's not shame it's wisdom yeah no it is wisdom that is good but in some days it's just you just can't you just don't got it do it some days I'm just so tired and I can't really and it's hard for me to admit I'm

tired after a weekend where I did it you know I did two shows at Foxwoods at two nights in a row so that felt like oh you were just at a casino for two days straight usually I'm traveling each day there's a show I'm traveling so it kind of feels like you traveled all weekend it felt like I didn't deserve to feel tired which is strange relationship so strange deserving things and wanting things and if you've earned them i know but i i did have a fun night last night what did we end up watching we're watching oh that's why i probably felt bad yeah yeah that's probably well we went back and forth between the stanley cup and yes the dallas cowboys cheerleader show which you like i mean it's not horrible no no it's a it's it's well done it is

well done but there's things about it there's things about it that well what are you talking about i feel like it's there's messaging that seems a little strange what's the messaging you don't like they're they have to do this but somehow culturally they've made it seem like this is very important. It's so not. And crucial to the game and the people of Dallas and then the people of Texas and then even America. I mean, maybe I've gone too far with the America. No, she goes, even in New Jersey, being a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader is everything. This girl's talking to her friends and it's like, no, it's not.

Even in Kuwait. Even that show Cheer. The Sudan people are. That show Cheer, I loved that show. this girl's talking to her friends and it's like no it's not yeah even in like kuwait and like even that show sudan people are cheer i loved i love that show i didn't watch it but yeah it's great it's really it's it's it's like a perfectly done docu reality series with like a good ending and yeah it's really really good stakes and all that fun stuff and it's like you know these are these people's lives and that's when they're like high school age, I think. Yeah. Maybe it's college.

Actually, it's college. Okay. But this is post-college. And it's important to these people. And I, you know, like. Absolutely. We all have things in our lives that feel so important and that we're striving for and that we want. But I do find a problem with this being like the most important thing

these women will ever do in their whole lives and but i mean i guess i can relate to having things like people would be like the roast doesn't mean anything to anyone nikki and like you're obsessed with it but like ultimately it doesn't with it okay that's good you aren't obsessed with it at all yeah okay good people keep bringing it up to you because it was a big like cultural moment yeah but you yeah you are always deflecting that right that's a good point okay good i because i i feel bad making fun of these girls making it like i guess comedy sometimes people can make it into like everything that is hinging on this moment here's what i love about it though is there are so few play these these young girls go into cheer and gymnastics and dance and they work they work from the time that some of them are like five six years old and then they

go through high school they do competition then they go to college and they do competition and then what's next like these are the opportunities that are next some of them could go do tours like with Taylor Swift because they've done dance. Some people can do like the cheer stuff or then you teach. But these people have worked more than half their lives on these things.

And then there's very few opportunities for what's next. Yeah, scary. It's nice that there's something. Yeah. For girls from 24 to 32. Right. That have something. But they burn out in five years.

This documentary is great. It hurts their bodies. That's the other thing. It hurts their bodies so much. And they're doing routines that they know hurt their bodies. But they won't take this crazy jumps. You jump and split. And then you land on the ground in a split.

And it destroys these girls' hips. Forget it. It's jump split The thing I don't like about this documentary and I wonder if anyone else watching the show has the same problem is that the coaches will be assessing these girls they're all trying to make the team Brian so there's like all these girls auditioning and they have to re-audition every time they make

the team for a year and you have to re-audition for your spot and it's really competitive and ongoing process and these these women that used to be dallas cowboys cheerleaders are the coaches and they're and and the judges and there's a meteorologist that's a judge too that's the worst part to me is there's these women that have been cheering their whole lives and they're experts and then there's these choreographers that have been doing this their whole lives then there's's hair and makeup people. It's like they've dedicated to their lives. One guy, she's reading his bio. He was like, she's like, and Mark is a thought influencer.

I don't even know what a thought influencer is. He was like, my publicist just wrote that. He's just like some. He's a meteorologist. The judges are ridiculous. And they're talking about this girl's, you know, and what did he say? He goes, her face is just a little too big. And then that girl didn't make it because everyone goes, yeah, I see it.

Because a meteorologist didn't like somebody's face. That to me, I was disgusted by that. Yeah, and the way that he got on the green screen and circled it and said that there is a cold front moving in, that was rude too. Also what I don't like, sorry to hijack this, but I don't like it when people are so desperate to do something that the people that are the gatekeepers can take advantage of them.

Yes, and that seems to be happening. That's what I kept seeing is all these moments where these girls are dying to do this. And there's people that maybe don't have their – I have no idea. But you're just like these are the situations that you hear about later that somebody did something untoward. And they give them a makeover and they make this girl go brunette and then they're looking at it later and they're like i don't know if i like the brunette and the girl is like crying because she doesn't want to go brunette she's been blonde her whole life but she's going along with it because they've said it's the tyra

banks thing of america's next top model we're gonna go um but what i don't like about it is that they'll assess the girl's moves and be like you know her kicks just aren't in line with other people's her face she's just trying too much in the face and then they don't show

what they're talking about and I want to see evidence of this and it would be a very easy thing to show so producers of that Netflix show it's a great show

otherwise I love it I'm compelled we're four episodes in we are going to finish the seven can't wait and what else

anything else we can recommend watching that we love oh uh all too well all too well oh jake gyllenhaal chris keeps calling it all too well because that's the song about jake gyllenhaal but it's the jake gyllenhaal um show uh presumed innocent and it's on apple and it's so good except for when they think you're – shows think you're on your phone now. So they repeat the same thing 14 times. They assume you're taking phone breaks. And so they will tell you things over and over.

It's a little bit of a show for people who might be dumb, but it's also for people who are smart too. We can all get on board with this show. Brian, you watching anything? Yeah, I mean, I'm watching America's's got talent season uh 19 oh my god season 20 i don't even know and who is the front runner well it's still in the auditions right now but uh there's one comedian on it from africa who's not bad um and then they're yeah there's um some good singers. But yeah, America's Got Talent is kind of degrading a little bit because it feels like they're putting too much emphasis on the backstory

and not enough emphasis on the talent. Right. Degrading is a good word for even the cheer thing. There is a level of degrading that is going on. It's hard to watch. Oh, oh man but there was this guy he's a janitor from indiana who's never even been on a plane before whoa and he used to just sing in the hallways of the school at the middle school and the kids kept saying you're a good singer You're actually a really good singer. And so his fiance convinced him to go on America's Got Talent. And he is just this, the most normal looking man you've ever seen

in your life. He's like a middle American, pretty overweight, missing teeth, glasses, wearing like a cabbie hat, like button down shirt that you get at a big and tall store. He's just out there and he is just the sweetest, most unassuming man. He's really nervous, which right there you're rooting for him because you can tell he's so nervous. And then he proceeds to sing Journey. Don't Stop Believin'. And it's better than the original wow okay we gotta watch this i mean he is so good now to be fair it's kind of like listening to the world's best karaoke

rendition but he is on he doesn't not miss a note and that as we all know is like an impossible song to sing he does not miss a note and then he note. And then they always do this thing where they play with your heartstrings. He finishes the song, and then they pause for three seconds before the audience reacts. So you're like, how are they going to react? Do they like it too? Yeah. Yeah. And then everyone stands up, gives him a standing ovation.

And why does it work? Why does it work over and over again? Because that guy from Indiana, yes, of course, this is all heavily produced. And the producers know what's going to happen when this guy comes out. And they know what they're doing, pulling our heartstrings. But that guy is real. And he didn't know that he was going to do well. I've had friends that have gone on America's Got Talent thinking they're going to do well.

And then they do poorly. He doesn't know he's going to do well. I've had friends that have gone on America's Got Talent thinking they're going to do well and then they do poorly. He doesn't know he's going to do well. The producers don't say like, yeah, we're going to kind of present you. He goes out and so when they're cheering for him, he's crying. He truly cannot believe it. And then I don't want to give away what

happens unless you want to hear what happens. Sure. Spoiler alert, here it Sure. Spoiler alert. Here it comes. Spoiler alert. He gets the golden buzzer from I forgot who gave him the golden buzzer. But if you don't know the golden buzzer, each of the judges. I know that now.

Each of the judges. You ruined my week. I don't even know what that is. OK. Each of the judges has has one opportunity to do the golden buzzer per audition round. And they all give it to him? Just one person. There's been times in AGT history where all four decided collectively to do the golden buzzer.

But like, I don't know who gave him the golden buzzer. Like, Sofia Vergara gave him the golden buzzer. I think it was Sofia. Or maybe it was Heidi Klum. But he gets the golden buzzer. And then he went from disbelief to like catatonic disbelief. He truly he doesn't even know what's happening right now. He's like spinning around in circles.

And then he says, like, I've never been on a plane before. This was the first time I ever went on a plane. And now I'm here and I got the golden buzzer. And here's the best part. Then he goes backstage with Terry Crews, who is the best host other than kevin hart who is better at the roast than terry cruz is at agt but terry cruz is such a good host he goes back and he puts he calls his fiancee on speakerphone and he tells his fiancee i got the golden buzzer and she goes i knew you would i told you and that's just, I mean, ultimate support.

It was just incredible. I just love, and I was crying. I cry eight to ten times an hour watching AGT. How was the plane? Because they couldn't fly her out. I mean, how could they not fly her out? They didn't have enough money. They didn't have enough money. He's a janitor.

But the show could have. Yeah, the shows are so cheap. Yeah, they really are. Other things I'll recommend watching is Jiminy Glick on Jimmy Kimmel and Bill Maher. I just watched an interview he did with Bill Hader on Jimmy Kimmel. Did you see it? It's so funny. It's five and a half minutes of hilarity. But it feels like 90 seconds.

I know. I looked. I was like, 530? It's so perfect. Perfectly done. Perfect. Jiminy Glick on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It's on Jimmy Kimmel Live right now.

And he's a character played by Martin Short in a fat suit. And so it's like an older guy in a fat suit. And if you see that, you've got to get into Jiminy Glick. I am so jealous of someone who has not heard of Jiminy Glick and gets to go watch all the things of that. Because that was insane. Alright, that's it for the show. I'm going to be in Chandler, Arizona this weekend.

I don't know exactly where in Arizona that is, but that is going to be Thursday and Friday this week in Chandler, Arizona at Chandler. It's right between Ross, Rachel, and TV. There we go. Now we're cooking. Could I have been less specific about where it is?

Okay. It's the Gila River Resorts Casino in Chandler, Arizona. And it looks to be near Phoenix. So south of Phoenix. You know, Tucson is also near it. So come on out to the Gila River Resorts Casino this Thursday and Friday. And then I'm off to Dublin to go see Taylor Swift.

And that is not an Irish accent. Dublin, Australia? I think it was Australian. All right, guys. We'll see you then. Going to Dublin to see Taylor Swift? Oh, yeah. There you go.

That's Scottish. Oh, God. I just gone to Dublin to see Taylor. All right. I'm going to go walk Gila Monster and then we'll come back and do tomorrow's episode

we'll see you then don't be cute and bye John Stewart is back in the host chair at the Daily Show which means he's also back in our ears

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