The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #454 Dog Stories, I Love Amsterdam, Hoofdingang, Ingrid Andress Video, Health Spas
Episode Date: July 18, 2024Nikki and Brian talk about their dog-sitting stories ranging from STL to Las Vegas. Puppy tricks and yearning for a big backyard soon change when "Hall Ball" is introduced. Nikki wants to move to Amst...erdam (who doesn't?) and frequently checks home listings, is this where she retires? The language is already hard to learn, but we are fans of "hoofdingang". Also, we do an Ingrid Andress video watch along...cringe and we feel terrible for her! Brian gives us a full update on his health and final thoughts: how many health tests does Brian need to get? Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The Nikki Glaser Podcast.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast.
Hello, here I am. Welcome to the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm Nikki Glaser. I am in St. Louis,
Missouri, alone. Well, my dog's in the room, but I'm back home'm Nikki Glaser. I am in St. Louis, Missouri alone.
Well, my dog's in the room, but I'm back home in my home studio. Good to be back.
Brian is in Los Angeles. What's up, Brian?
Yeah, what's up? I'm in my home studio with my dog as well.
Yes. Oh my God. Dog life is so good.
So you're loving the dog. You like being back in the dog life.
I mean, she didn't like recognize me because honestly i had
her for i think four weeks before i left for europe and then she was with her dog sitter for
two and a half which is like the same amount of time so i think she just thought that was her new
owner and she was probably sad uh to see her go but then chris was with her a couple days before
i got home but i got home yesterday and she uh barked at me at first and was alarmed but i had
sunglasses on.
So maybe she's not a fan of the podcast.
She's not used to seeing me like that.
She doesn't watch our YouTube channel.
So half my face was covered.
She's more of a tiger belly fan, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
And so she would be a tiger belly fan because she just loves,
the word just belly is like very crucial to her.
She's so cute and I love her, but yeah, she barked at me at first and then.
Wow.
And I didn't take it offensively.
Like, that's the thing.
Animals can do no harm to me.
Like, they can do whatever they want and I'll never take anything personally or be like,
she doesn't wake me anymore.
I'm just like, you be you, girl.
I don't care like i like people sometimes
ask why i i my my parents have my old dogs uh luigi and marion and the reason that i didn't
take them back from them because i gave them to them because i was living in new york and it just
made living there oh i forgot to turn off the ac so i'm sorry if you guys hear that um it's just
too hot not to this what i'm
gonna say even though i don't it's not true but it sounds like it could be anywhere in the country
it was yesterday but now it's not too hot i'm just too i'm too lazy to do it and i think it's just
it's for the best that i don't because i'm just feeling really lazy right now yeah you're hot and
bothered yeah i've and so i gave my dogs to my parents because I was in a four floor walk up and it just became like brutal to walk them up and down.
And they didn't like the stairs and they don't like shitting on the sidewalk.
And so I was like, I just want them to have a better life, even though I love them.
And it made my life a hell of a lot better, too.
So we both benefited from it.
But then when I moved back to St. Louis and I was able to, like, actually have a dog again.
First of all, my parents didn't want to give Marion back because because they love her so much and luigi they would have given back but luigi
really liked living there and he's also too big to travel now because he's just a he's just a
chonker he got too big and i can't carry that thing around and he has a better life with them
and he doesn't like leaving them in one time like he would do little sleepovers with me for the past
couple years where i would just borrow him for a couple days and we'd just hang out like we used to
um you know when i was his owner and one night he was coming over for a sleepover which he did not
ask to do and i'm just like get in the car and he gets in the car reluctantly and then i just
open the door and i go do you want to go back and he just instantly juts out and i go i just
called my parents i'm like luigi's at the door he's back and they're like take him and i'm like
no he wanted to be with you and i'm not hurt by it like i just want him to have a good life
so yesterday when she barked at me i there was i'm glad there was no part of me that was like
she doesn't remember me because all it takes to get a dog to love you is just like hang out with
them for a day and feed them and give them snuggles.
And then I'll be her number one.
Whoever is giving her the most attention is her number one.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, over time, that'll get harder.
It'll take longer than a day over time, I think.
Okay.
If you own this dog for years and years and establish this connection.
I want her to be a transient pup that's just whored around.
Because that's what she is right now she's like
dogs are like that no what's going on when i was uh picking out dogs to foster um and then
eventually i got jack i remember one of the dogs i walked i walked around this man was holding the
dog and he's like you want to try walking this dog around i was like sure he handed me the dog
and the dog like didn't even notice that someone
else was walking him yeah there was no difference he could have handed the dog off to like hitler
and he would have been totally fine with it and i was like i don't know if i want to foster
a dog that like i don't well i'll foster a dog about you but i don't want to adopt a dog who
like doesn't even notice that you're a person. No, the thing is, my dog is not totally just like,
I've been tossed around so much that I'm just numb to any new person.
She just likes everyone.
And I love it because she's just going to have a ton of people
who she's always excited to see when she does get to see them.
Like her sitter, who she had for, was with her two and a half weeks,
cried when she dropped
her off.
She was going to miss her so much.
And she's been texting us being like, can you send pictures of the dog?
And I'm like, wait, who's sitting for who?
She's like requesting footage to make sure she's okay.
I'm like, yeah.
So we, so this weekend, like I'm out of town in Vegas and I don't want to bring her because
it's just too hard to be in a hotel and on the strip walking a dog and it's hot and so and then chris is trying to get work done
here so i was like let's give gracie a couple days with the dog and get the dog sitter back in here
because she like is constantly she's like i miss her so much so it's like now she has a bunch of
people who love her it's so nice that's very good. I bought Jack to Vegas when we went there for the Superbowl. And I have to say,
there's no place.
There is no place in this country.
That's worse to bring a dog than a Vegas hotel,
because it takes like 45 minutes to leave the hotel so that they can piss.
Yeah.
It's not ideal.
You'd probably have to carry Jack through.
Did you carry him most of the time?
No,
I walked him.
I mean, he he was he could
do that walk oh he can't it just takes forever and it's like if i want to walk the dog i mean
four times a day or something i can't take an hour every single time that's the thing with my
building is like that's why suddenly i'm looking at houses because i have never cared about having
a house until i had a dog and i'm like oh every time this has to pee, I have to walk down a hallway and then go down.
You know,
I think I've talked about it before an elevator and then go outside.
And it's like,
if I could just,
it,
the difference between having a dog when you have a yard and having a dog
and not a yard is a really big difference.
Y'all,
I didn't even think about it,
but it is a big difference.
Like you just open the door and your dog goes out in the backyard.
That's amazing.
And yes,
they need exercise and you should,
but a lot of you don't do it as much as you should with walks because you don't have to because
they do have a yard that you can convince yourself they can run around and the great
thing with her is is that i can get her tuckered out within five minutes like full blown like if
you had a dog like a um a weimaraner or something you would have to go run this thing in the park
and i guess throwing the ball having a dog that plays fetch is so great because you can tucker them out so quickly but it's you have to teach a dog how to play fetch
we do we play a game called hall ball where i throw it down a cat like the hallway and she
runs so hard i have to do it like five times her legs are so tiny and she's dead and then she has
to go sleep for five hours she yes it's great um so maybe i don't need a yard in the house but i
was looking up apartments friday night or saturday night when the assassination attempt broke i
immediately texted chris and was like let's get an apartment in amsterdam let's let's move to
amsterdam i'm serious i'm not joking about it anymore i'm literally looking at property i want
to have like a small place that's just a getaway literally to get away not just a little beachy getaway no like i need to escape so um
you can and you should and it's not just for the escape but it's like you if you can why not
yeah and i loved amsterdam so much when i was there for harris tour i was like just obsessed
with that town and I found this cafe
with this food
that I just can't stop thinking about.
I talked about it already,
but I just,
I can't stop thinking about Amsterdam.
And so I was like,
yes,
a reason to go.
Not that,
you know,
you can never escape anything
that's happening right now globally
with the weather and everything,
but it seems like a pretty good place
to like die.
Sure.
I mean,
there's lots of places
that are great to die, but it feels like this is like a full character arc to like die. Sure. I mean, there's lots of places that are great to die.
But it feels like this is like a full character arc for you.
Like you've gone through a transformation.
Because I recall before you went on your European tour, you were like, why leave the country?
I don't want to speak different languages.
I don't want to experience these cultures.
I know.
And now you're like, wouldn't it be nice to have a little getaway in Amsterdam?
Where I don't have to do work and I can retire if I just live in Amsterdam?
Wow.
Yeah.
This is all a big change.
Well, because vacation rules.
And if you don't take one, you never know how good it can be.
And so you just are addicted to work.
But people who are addicted to work don't take vacations because if they really let
themselves do it, they'd realize how fucking sweet it is not to work oh yeah i loved it i like it i mean i think it's probably me picturing amsterdam
like this place where i don't i just don't have to do anything today and i just walk around and
tonight i get to go see taylor swift like that was my life there but i just liked the weather i know
i was there for a really nice time of year i liked the vibe i liked the the smell of the air i liked the vibe of the people
that were not judgmental but not overly excited i just liked it and i'm like what can i could i
be famous in amsterdam like my my parents have a friend who's a musician who claimed only to be
famous in holland like he can go over to holland and he like cannot get around and so i was like
can i be the can i do that i was almost gonna say his name and then
i was like no i'll have to take it out because i'll be worried he sees it and it's gonna be a
whole thing um but yeah i i i was wondering what i could do over at amsterdam and then i was like
wait i looked up like what's it like to be an american in amsterdam i'm not even joking i was
like i'm i want to eventually have a plan to move there and so on reddit i found this thing about
you know someone was like i'm moving
to amsterdam from the states can people tell me like what's the biggest differences culture shocks
and the only one that stood out to me was that shops and restaurants close at five five and
stores yeah nothing's open well there's one night a week where it's it's called like
noctiternal and it like they're open till eight and it's one night a week where it's called like Noctiternal. And they're open till 8.
And it's one night a week.
Cirque du Soleil?
Jesus Christ.
I swear to God.
8?
Yeah.
And so that would kind of bum me out.
What do they do?
What do they do?
Do they just go to sleep?
I hate the taste of Starbucks over there.
I don't know.
I don't know what they do.
How do they eat?
I mean, obviously you can cook.
But like every single night, 5 o'clock, it's all shut down.
Like what if you work?
I don't.
I think everyone doesn't work.
Everyone just cooks.
Nobody in Amsterdam works.
They all just cook.
And then dates.
I guess if you're dating at night, where would you go?
I guess bars are open maybe.
Okay.
But I don't know.
Like that was the one thing that I was like, I don't know if I could do that. But I really did love this one word I came across in Amsterdam.
And I want to try to figure out what it is.
It was like, they have a lot of like bing ding dangs in there.
Like they'll just throw the word ding bing dang.
Like those ding bing and dang are all over the, what's the?
The lexicon?
No, what's the language called?
Dutch?
Dutch.
Yeah, okay, thank you.
I'm really bad with languages and, like, countries.
I'm really, like, I show how stupid I am when I start talking like that.
I literally thought, this was embarrassing.
Oh, no.
I thought I almost translated in front of someone who was in Switzerland,
but I just thought zurich was
in sweden i just thought i stopped at the sw and i just like committed to it and i was translating
things to swedish to like communicate there and luckily never said anything to anyone
but i definitely looked at your infection to take to a pharmacy and like was in swedish so i would
have said just in swedish so i would have said just
in swedish to someone that i should have been speaking to in swiss german all of a sudden i
we're two nights into zurich and i'm like this whole menu is in german like this looks like i
go swedish looks like german what an idiot okay you kind of look swedish you if you start speaking
in swedish they would have been like, oh, she's from Sweden.
Okay.
Literally, this is the word, Brian.
Are you ready?
Because I only know this word because I was trying to find the entrance to the heiress tour.
And so it was like on my ticket, it said entrance B.
So I'm looking for this word.
And I'm so glad. I did not confirm then that it was entrance, but I'm glad because I just looked up entrance
dunch and here it is.
Hoof ding gang. Hoo look at think of seeing this word gigantic hoof ding gang b it sounds like a horse gang bang hoof ding gang it sounds like a uh it doesn't even sound like
a made-up language it sounds like a made-up language. It sounds like a made-up language. Like if you're thinking about like Elvish or something in a fantasy novel, it kind of makes sense.
Hoof ding gang.
I wanted to ask someone how to pronounce it.
I mean, I guess I could look it up.
What a silly, unserious language.
What a silly word.
And it made me go like, maybe I want to learn this language because it's so funny.
But I just, I could not believe that they had signs that were literally that said hoof ding gang.
And everyone was just like, yeah, go to hoofding.
I mean, I'm sure there's English words that make them go.
What are you saying?
But that really got me.
No, we're culturally insensitive here.
But I do think if the language is already that ridiculous, I can't imagine doing comedy in Dutch.
Every single word you say is is is nonsense.
I really feel like the Dutch people.
I remember I performed in amsterdam
so i can't remember what the reception was like i would remember if it was horrible so i'm sure it
was just like fine but or or it could be really good i tend to not remember great and fine i only
remember horrible but i would have expected them to just be like kind of like that's funny, I guess. Like polite, but not like laughing. Like, I wouldn't as what I know about the Dutch people, they're just
smilers.
And I like that.
Like, I dig that vibe.
But yeah, what was your initial reaction on Saturday night?
Oh, wow.
Switching gears without getting too without getting too honest.
We can let's talk about it honestly and cut it. All right. that fast. Without getting too honest.
Let's talk about it honestly and cut it.
All right. Well, welcome back to the show because we got off on a tangent.
And I know it just like cut out there.
But you can only imagine the things that we were saying and discussing regarding just the news of the weekend. And when I say the news of the weekend, we got our facts straight.
Now we really have true opinions about the girl who sang the national anthem last night.
And that's what we're going to talk about when we get back from break john stewart is back in the
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We're back. My dog's going crazy. She doesn't
understand that I'm recording a podcast right now and I'm
not in the mood to play.
But did you hear
the national anthem last night from that girl?
So I didn't hear it. That was the only thing I didn't
see. Can you give me the lowdown?
Yeah. Olivia, can you play it for us?
So I only heard
About it because I opened my phone and it was
Everywhere immediately last night and
As someone who sang the national anthem
At a parade
Publicly it's
A very hard song and I didn't
Really do that well at it at all
Like I'd give myself maybe a D
Plus like not good but I got asked to do
It and it was a small it wasn't that big of a deal So and I didn't think it was going to exist anywhere And I think it probably does but like I'd give myself maybe a D plus, like not good, but I got asked to do it and it was a small,
it wasn't that big of a deal.
So,
and I didn't think it was going to exist anywhere.
And I think it probably does,
but like,
I don't care.
I'd like it.
You learn from these things.
It wasn't on this scale.
And also I'm not a professional singer.
So if I sounded like a D is really moves up to a B for the learning curve for me,
because no one expects me to be any good.
This girl's a professional singer
and all i can feel for her is i feel i feel um sad and embarrassed and i'm sorry for her
talk about sympathy wait i don't even know where this was what where was this it was at the like
home home run derby what what do they do like they do some kind of like is it that yeah no
home run derby was yesterday all-star break in ml like is it that Yeah no Home Run Derby was yesterday
All-Star break in MLB yeah it was
A big event I mean it was a huge baseball
Stadium and
It was not good
In a way that's so like
I don't even know I don't know that I've
Ever sounded this bad and this girl's a professional
Singer so I don't know what happened and
Apparently she's messing with her in-ears
During it oh I don't even know if I can watch it is she a professional singer and like she's a pop
star or what yeah like she's like a burgeoning country star i think okay ingrid andrus okay
four-time grammy nominee by the way four-time grammy nominee it says
yeah what's happening i gotta look this girl up. Okay, let's listen. Oh, say can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
By the twilight's last gleaming
Okay. She almost just bailed. I like that. By the twilight's last gleaming.
Okay.
She almost bailed.
I like that.
Bright stars through the perilous fight.
She's just nervous.
I can hear it.
All the ramparts we watched were so gallantly
streaming
Poor thing.
And the rockets
red glare
the bombs bursting
in air
gave proof
through the night
that our flag
was still there Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
She doesn't look like she knows
It's not going well
Someone said
There was an instant meme that said
This was a rough weekend for America's ears
She looks like a Heidi Gardner character.
She looks like Heidi Gardner.
It's almost like it got so bad at the end, it almost felt
like she was doing it on purpose for comedy.
Honestly, I think
that's the track she should go in.
She should. So I looked her up. She's
a four-time Grammy-winning artist.
Grammy for comedy album?
Oh, God. She's
born in 1991. She's Born in 1991
She's 32
Her breakthrough single
More Hearts Than Mine
Peaked at number 30
On the Billboard
Okay
We gotta listen to
More Hearts Than Mine
You know what
It doesn't matter
Because you can sound good
In a recording studio
Her single The Stranger
Peaked at number 49
On Country Airplay
She's released two albums
She has also
Co-written songs
For
Charlie XCX That's a big deal yeah um
grew up in michigan okay she's been on the show perfect pitch or something pitch slapped no she
was in a group called pitch slapped on the nbc singing competition the sing-off which is like
an acapella show do you remember that uh-huh so she is a history of singing yeah but i was
gonna i decided when i was listening okay she's nervous and she's tensing up and like it is like
trot i've talked about it on the show unless you're relaxed like you cannot sing and if you're
nervous but also the echoes coming back to her she looked but then i saw her and she looked very
relaxed she looked like she was
enjoying you know what she was doing a lot of these like flourishes and had that she has that
weird like bjork style voice where she's like not really using like a human accent or whatever that
is i think yeah yeah yeah where she changes like the wording of yeah and i feel like that's that's
happening a lot now with like younger uh singers or something
where i'm just hearing in like pop songs like people are doing like little baby voices or
something i don't know what to call it but it's a very strange for a while what what what is that
and why and is that good it just is easier to sound like this and sing like this like instead of saying instead of saying like um i went to the
store yeah or it's like stir stir well it it does help with singing to change the way you say some
words like it justin timberlake kind of got poked fun at for it but you shouldn't have noticed it's gonna be may may is easier to say
than me like singing me is not easy so most people when they say me when you hear me in a song they're
saying may but i thought it was it's gonna be may i thought it's like a song about the months
that's about him yeah i'm sorry to interrupt related toated to Ingrid. Two minutes ago, she posted that she was drunk last night, apologizes, and she's going to rehab.
She's going to what?
Rehab. Rehab.
Yeah. I just, it just notified. Yeah.
Okay. Well.
That's an interesting angle to go. I think, I don't really believe her. Leave her Whoever in her PR team Came up with that one Give me a call
Because I want that person
In my corner
When shit hits the fan
Because that is good
That's real good
This is gonna be a huge
Positive for her now
Instead of being like
You're the worst singer
In the world
It's like she's suffering
And she now has admitted
Her addiction
And now she's gonna go
Try to fix it
And you can't make fun
Of an addiction
No
You can make fun Of an addiction no but she was wasted i don't know that she was she didn't seem but but that might explain the
relaxation that might explain yeah crazy she loses it i think two notes and she uh goes her own way
and then everyone's going like why is she doing all these like land of the
free like those little things it's because she already practiced it that way that's why she
didn't abandon those like yeah she she just had to do them um that that's excellent out this is
yeah the hook girl needs to move to the side. And this is our new queen. This is it.
I mean, Hawktua is doing all right, by the way.
She's having, you're going to like this, actually.
Did you see what Hawktua posted this week?
No.
So Hawktua is now getting a lot of pushback because, you know, she's getting 15 minutes of fame.
And now people are like, she's not anything.
Why is this girl who spit on a dick, like, going to be famous now?
People are so jealous. thing why is this girl who spit on a dick like gonna be famous and um she is now owning the
idea that she only has 15 minutes of fame and she made a video where she said people are telling me
i only have 15 minutes of fame and so i'm gonna take that 15 minutes and do something good and
then she goes to a pet smart and she60,000 worth of pet food and pet supplies
and then she goes to her local animal shelter
in Nashville and she donates it all to
the animal shelter and uses this as a
platform to get dogs
and cats adopted.
Okay.
Couple things.
What? Number one that I don't
like.
PetSmart. I got a problem with Petsmart.
Petsmart is not a good, they don't care about animals.
They're there to make a profit.
They really don't.
They throw goldfish out in the trash still alive.
They do that with lizards.
They do it with hamsters.
It's well documented.
They don't give a fuck about animals.
You should not shop at PetSmart if you can avoid it.
I know that there's so many things in the world that are,
it's like I've had to do it sometimes too.
There's just no other place to go to get the dog food
and you need it.
But I think PetSmart was in on this.
It's great.
Again, another great PR move.
I want whoever is on her team, on my team.
I have a great team, but I mean, like, I think, like, yes,
these are people that I would employ.
You'd fire your regular team if you could have one minute.
It's a good thing to do.
Go, okay, let's spin this 15 minutes.
Now, what can you do?
And everyone like really is on your side because now they're not on your side because you made
a dirty joke and everyone's intrigued by you.
And this is like when people go like, oh, this is where our culture's at.
The Hawk Tour girl's famous.
I'm like, it's the same when someone complains that there's traffic.
I'm like, you're a part of it.
Yeah.
You are making this traffic.
You watched the video. You know you liked it. Yeah. lanes that there's traffic i'm like you're a part of it yeah you are making this traffic you watched
the video you know you liked it and you like uh it's it's just you know when someone goes like
it's so crowded here i'm like but you're here too so you're part of it's dumb to complain it's like
when people get mad about it i understand commenting being like god it sucks that it's
crowded but like to be like what are all these people doing here yeah well i think that sometimes when i'm driving down the street and i see all the cars driving in
the opposite direction i'm like where the fuck are all these people i think that sometimes too
yes i do wonder like where everyone is going i wish i like could have random information about
people's oh my god i would love that if you could just scan a car and it's like i'm going to the
beach and i am with my sister. The NSA is probably doing that.
They're like, what would it be like to know everything about every person?
Like when everyone lost their virginity and they like have that now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I now the assumption is whenever I'm looking at the cars driving by and I'm like,
where the fuck that they're going.
I honestly what I'm thinking is they the fuck that they're going? I honestly, what I'm thinking is they
don't need to be going there. I automatically think they don't need to wherever they're going.
It's not important. It doesn't matter. Meanwhile, I'm like driving to like,
get a candy or something. I'm like, what are these people do?
I never think about other drivers. Like I don't get mad at drivers almost ever.
Do you often get mad at drivers?
I'm not mad at them. I think I'm just like, I'm not mad at the people driving do you often get mad at drivers i'm not mad at them i think i'm
just like i'm not mad at the people driving i'm just like why are you even trying to go where
you're trying to go i just assume everyone's doing something unimportant when they're probably all
like registered nurses going to the hospital and i'm just like what are you even doing i often have
that thing called sonder where you like realize other people have deep internal lives just as deep and and and um
interesting and uh complex as your own where you have a moment where you go like oh my god every
single person but i don't think they all do you know i think some people kind of are just like
their brains aren't doing much they're not like struggling with things and i think it's about half
i think about half the people are just like,
I just don't even,
have you ever heard someone say like,
I don't really have any thoughts.
I don't really think about,
have you ever heard someone say something like that?
No, I don't think so.
Like if you said,
what do you think about this person
with the national anthem?
David conversation on the show.
Like, I feel like that's the kind of thing
someone would say on that show.
And you go, what do you mean that you don't have thoughts?
No, I've never heard that. I think there are some people who go through their day
and they're not really thinking about much well i do agree with that but i don't i know that i've
ever heard someone say i don't think about much well like if you ask someone what do you think
about this national anthem and then they'll go i don't know i don't really didn't really think
about it just people that don't seem to have much of an opinion and don't seem to like oh i just
don't really meddle in those kinds of things.
Or like, I go, what are you talking about?
But you need those people for a functioning society.
Yeah.
Well, I really, you know,
I was on this track of like not talking shit about anyone
or not gossiping or just not just saying things
about people that I wouldn't say to their face for a while
or at least trying to.
And I really got away from it because it's just it's almost impossible not to bond
with people by talking shit about other people and i find it's just talking not talking shit
and being like don't you hate them but like you know another version of hate which is like making
fun of them or whatever or being you know i i don't think i do it as much because i definitely think that period where i was trying not to taught me that some of it's just
not that fun but i still i think i let it back in my life a little bit it's kind of fun to make fun
of you've been trying to avoid it for the last you've been saying like i'm trying to avoid it
and it is like it is somewhat poisonous to yourself but man it's like so what like but
people can make fun of me and if i'm allowing
that then i should be able to make fun of them i really you can make fun of me you can talk
shit about me any comedians that want to like pull up my stuff and go like look how cringe this is
just have at it because i want to do it to you too is that okay is that a fair exchange if i
offer up myself to be mocked behind my back mercilessly i think it's a fair exchange yeah
and i think you know what you can't control it anyways.
You might as well.
It's like people believe that if they don't talk shit,
they're like spreading joy and happiness in the world
and that's going to make a difference
and it really doesn't.
Other than the fact that-
I think it does.
It's not going to,
like you're not starting a movement
by not talking shit about other people.
I think it can't, it's a little,
no, because I was actually inspired by my friend who I was trying to talk shit about someone around and he was like I just really am not like into talking about people that like talking you know making fun of people behind their backs and I it would like shocked me and that was the first time I was like maybe I should do that so I do think it does affect change but I know what you're saying like in the scheme of things just you can't control it so but i i just don't know like if it's it's just
not good for your bottom line no no out like negative energy i should just much more be
always thinking positive like this documentary i watched over the weekend about um the boy in
harry potter who was harry potter stunt double that I didn't get to the story the other day,
I don't think.
He was paralyzed from the waist down.
And, or maybe I did say this.
Forgive me if I'm repeating myself.
But, because I've been telling people the story
because I was so inspired by it.
He was on the set of Harry Potter.
They were planning for the seventh final Harry Potter movie.
And he'd been Harry's stunt double the whole time for six movies.
Seventh in pre-production.
He does a stunt.
Things go wrong.
He gets paralyzed.
Wow.
And he's really good friends with Daniel Radcliffe.
And this is a documentary called The Boy Who Lived on HBO.
Wow.
What a great title.
It's really good.
But once he gets paralyzed, and he was such an active person.
I mean, he was a stunt man
he was like a stunt kid
like his whole life
was doing stunt work
and like moving around
and then suddenly
he's paralyzed
he said he was
allergic to negativity
he was like
I don't let any in
he was like
literally if something
there's a negative vibe
or someone has negative
he was like
I have to get away from it
because it's just like
because he knows
the poison of it
especially for someone
in his position where like he can't distract himself if a negative thought comes in like he has to
avoid it like an alcoholic would avoid drinking alcohol yeah but that's kind of unhealthy too
to be like i can't even be around negativity and it's also kind of like well sometimes negative
things happen and you have to like accept that and acknowledge that yeah i i
agree with you but i'm just saying like stuff that doesn't need when you don't need it when
you're when someone just has bad energy getting them out like yes you'd have to it's good it's a
bad look it's a bad look also if you're like doing it all the time and people are like i don't know
what's the deal with this person like why are they like this but like every once in a while you got
to you do drugs you know and
it's like talking shit do your drugs spending a night talking shit about everybody it's like
what's the difference between that and doing coke instead of one or four or five you know like yeah
sometimes you just gotta lean into being a little bit bad i love being bad yeah what did i say the
other day i was like i had to do this thing because and
someone goes why do you do that and i go because i don't shoplift anymore and this is where i get
that yeah oh i know what it was it was like um i was talking about rachel feinstein and i were
talking about being add and how we won't screw the lids on things fully even though we are mid
screw and we could we just don't because we almost want to like
fuck with ourselves like we almost want to like we don't deserve a full screwed on lid or like
there's some kind of challenge and like okay yeah if i hit that it's gonna go everywhere but i'm not
gonna hit it i'm gonna actually give myself a chat like i don't i've noticed this actually
on like a diet coke bottle you won't screw it on and i look at it and i'm like oh my god
what's gonna happen all the time i do it i won't zip things i won't close drawers i won't close
cabinets i won't yes um and it's really and i could i really could and there are times where
i just go no is it the adrenaline rush i think it's the punishment what this i don't want to
give away what i said is the like the shoplifting thing because there's this other really gross thing that i do where i like test the limits of like almost dying like just
doing something really weird and it really is because i'm just like i need to feel the adrenaline
of the the risk but i think the lid thing is maybe not the same that i feel like is a low
self-esteem thing where it's like i don't deserve to have nice things so like i have this really
nice cream that i should like wipe it off and make it look nice but like it's i'm embarrassed
i even have this and i shouldn't have this so i gotta make it look like shit because i'm a fraud
and like i don't like my i i think that i have this the i've talked about on the podcast years
ago but like i feel like everything I owned is stained somehow.
Like nothing I get ever doesn't get,
like have some kind of defect in it,
which is,
it's dumb because I will find it.
Everything has some kind of is different.
Even if things are perfectly made to be different,
there's going to be defects.
And I'll always find that.
And I'll always think it's a reason why I'm less than have you ever done that does that no because i'm i'm the opposite of
that i'm a perfectionist and everything needs to be like perfect around me and any any sort of um
error or uh miscalculation or something like that needs to be corrected instantaneously
or else i feel probably how you feel when it's perfect okay
yeah it's but i am a perfectionist when it comes to like my performance or like when i really when
i'm trying it needs to be perfect and i think that's why i don't try because if i even tried
i know that cleaning this bathroom to make it perfect yeah be so much work so don't give anything yeah because now you're not failing yourself you're just not
like you're not a failure you just don't care right well that's why you're maybe that's why
you're a three and you supposedly i still think there's a seven in there but you're a three
because you're you care when other people are watching you like if someone was watch if you were if someone
was filming you do your bathroom routine i bet you you'd screw all the lids on perfectly
no it depends on what i was trying to capture if i was trying to be like do a product review yeah i
would try to make the product look nice but if it was trying at this point in my life i'm like i
kind of am comfortable with who i am on camera but i if a guy that i liked yes that i was trying to like seduce someone or like have if jennifer
aniston was watching a video of me like someone who i wanted them to think i was a clean neat
person yeah um the general public i think they kind of know who i am now or at least i'm not
interested in like convincing them i'm otherwise but yeah i think you're right when i know i'm being watched i probably if i'm
on a date i'm chewing with my mouth closed yep and i i just the fact that i don't know if i
chew with my mouth closed is not a good sign that i do so i don't think i do normally like i think
i'm a pretty gross eater but i'm also like i i hope i don't offend anyone with my eating but um if someone
is like wow nicky's it does it doesn't affect like i'm not a bad person because i'm a gross
eater i don't think no i mean unless i was doing it being like i don't care if you're offended like
that would be weird like if you're in a work meeting and you have a bunch of subordinates
surrounding you and you're just like spitting lettuce out into the table and stuff like that
i think that would be a bad person move to do because no one can do anything about it it's just
like god these meetings are excruciating nikki's just spitting lettuce at us for an hour no i
really try to be my i think most of the time i'm pretty like trying not to ever cause a stir or
like be an inconvenience to other people in public.
I think that's just, even when I'm with people and they quietly pay something on their phone,
they're showing me something of someone I'm with, I'm horrified if it's ever above a volume that a person nearby could hear.
Yeah.
I mean, I wonder how to make sense of that, because that's like politeness and you actually
caring about other people's thoughts about you, then also you you don't care if you
no i care about them screwed because i would fucking hate to listen to the volume like i'm
not caring about them being like i when i'm when i'm keeping my volume low i'm not like wow they're
gonna think i'm i'm a good person they're gonna like going to approve of me so that they won't be in hell
listening to someone's speakerphone out of context.
Now, let me say this.
This proves my point.
Now, if I'm in an Uber
and I'm on a phone call or something,
or let's say I'm having a conversation in the backseat
and I'm like, we're talking too loud
and we're kind of being annoying,
like the volume and I'm guessing the driver doesn't like it.
If the conversation is juicy.
Yeah.
I keep it going because I know that now I've made something that would
otherwise be annoying.
Pretty like,
at least I'm giving them a show.
Yeah.
Podcast.
Yeah.
And if,
if I was listening to something on my phone that I was thought might
annoy people,
if it was something that was very clearly funny,
I can't even think of an example of what that would be.
Maybe that girl singing the national anthem in which there would be context
for them.
I would play it.
Yeah.
But yeah,
it's,
I just,
oh yeah,
that poor girl.
Well have fun in rehab.
I want to do something so embarrassing and then just go,
I have to go to rehab.
How many times do you think you
could do it how many times could you how many mistakes in life can you make where you can say
ah gonna go to rehab i think you can keep going i mean if you're a true addict you i mean addicts
just be addicting you know they they will repeatedly um but at a certain point the public
will tire of you going or making a mistake And going to rehab The public doesn't give
A fuck about
You can't ever count
On the public
No you get one shot
With the public
Maybe
One shot
You get one redemption
And it's hilarious
That we found
We didn't know
Who this girl was
And we're already
Redeeming her
But it is an interesting
She let us down
Because you cannot
Make fun of someone
Who is claiming
To be an addict
It's a perfect out.
It makes all us look like assholes.
Yeah. And hey, as Joe Biden
says, everyone has
a bad night.
Yeah. Everyone has a bad night.
Was that his one bad night of his life?
That was the one, yeah.
I will say, not to speak of
the debate, but I think that
I don't really let myself have
bad nights but they do happen the other night I got off stage early whoa because I did two shows
and the thing about two show nights is that you would think that you could differentiate the two
shows but because I do just such a mishmash of material and no show is ever the same I like
forget which if I've told the joke already in that show oh yeah or the show
before when it gets around the 30 minute mark i just start going like whoa ever the show is just
one big show now and now am i gonna be repeating material so now i have to just do stuff i haven't
even done tonight but then that's a challenge because now it's just like so anyway i'm in i'm
well into the second show. This is in Columbus.
If you're at the Columbus second show,
I gave you a shorter show than you deserve,
but I didn't know that I was.
And I had so much more material to do,
but I was given a very definitive,
if we keep the lights on past this minute,
you have to spend $2,500.
There was a talking to beforehand.
No, it was a theater,
but they had really strict union rules.
And so it was going to be $2,500
if I went past this one minute.
And I thought the minute was approaching
within three minutes.
So I just, instead of going into another bit,
I just was like, I'll just get off now.
And that was like the right thing to do.
But it wasn't because I was supposed to be lit at that time.
So I really had 13 minutes to play with
and or maybe more 23. like i got off at 42 minutes
which is un no 45 unheard of for me unheard of but i will say no one complained no it's a great
amount of time it was a late show it was a 9 30 show probably started at 10 people were dying to
get out of there so it didn't bother anyone i did all the my stuff that i wanted to do i wasn't like
you know harboring something
That I was like
Oh I guess
They're not gonna get this joke
But if you were at that show
And you want to go
To a show of mine for free
At some point
Just tell me
What show you wanna go to
And then like
Show your ticket
Like screenshot your ticket
And DM it to me
And I'll like give you
I mean
Like a free
Not meet and greet
But a free ticket
To any show you want to
Because I feel bad
I mean 45 minutes
I think is actually
Pretty typical
For a lot of headliners
I know it is
It is
There's nothing wrong
About doing it
No one was upset
And no one even
Wrote anything afterwards
But to me I was like
Oh no
And I like really
Couldn't shake it
And then I was just like
Nope
You're not gonna let
This ruin your night
Like you just did
two shows you had a crazy week of work you should just be able to eat your pizza and celebrate and
not like be like oh my god i can't believe i did 45 which i did do i i let i told emil and matt and
i was like just let me because they were like it's fine i go i know it's fine i just need to beat
myself up for three more minutes that's it and then I won't say Then I will literally forgive myself
And then I did
And then after that three minutes
I was just like I'm done
And I'm like you didn't mean to
You are going to make it right on your podcast
And tell those people that you will refund
Or not refund them
But give them another free ticket
And also who gives a fuck in the scheme of things
It's okay
Forgive yourself
So I was just like I let myself off the hook
and I ate my pizza
and I had a good night.
We'll be right back after this.
Jon Stewart is back
in the host chair
at The Daily Show,
which means he's also back
in our ears
on The Daily Show
Ears Edition podcast.
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has everything you need
to stay on top
of today's news
and pop culture.
You get hilarious,
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Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
All right, we're back.
Brian, what's been happening in your world?
My world? Catch us up.
Yeah, I mean, I'm one month away from having no gallbladder.
And so far, so good, if anyone was wondering.
Oh, I was like, I thought you were like, in one month, it'll totally disintegrate.
And I'm like, they put some kind of acid into it that it's like going away.
So what they do is you drink an acid and it goes right into your gallbladder.
And over the course of a month, it starts to disintegrate 10% of the time.
What's life like without a gallbladder?
Like, is there a difference?
Not really.
Because you're not getting crazy pain anymore.
Well, yeah, I'm not having horrible attacks
And my fear of eating
I've been eating some fatty foods
I've been eating you know chicken parm
And stuff like that
And I'm like totally fine
So I feel great
If anybody is thinking about
Getting their gallbladder removed
Even if it's just to lose weight
I think I highly recommend it
It's amazing
To lose weight?
Really?
Yeah you can lose
What is it three ounces by taking that thing out.
Oh, I think it's like the weight of the gallbladder.
Yeah.
Especially if it's filled.
Don't even joke about that, dude.
People will be like, what?
I can lose weight by taking on an organ?
I also have been losing weight ever since I did it on purpose.
I've been dieting and stuff like that.
Because you can't work out.
I want to be the healthiest I've ever been. Great. My goal for the rest of the year is I want to be the healthiest I've ever been.
My goal for the rest of the year is I want to be the healthiest I've ever been.
I was telling you about this in the car.
I've discovered this like rich person thing called health spas that I had no idea existed.
And I went to a health spa.
Basically, if you ever go to the doctor and you're like, I want to know if I have like
the proper vitamin B levels. I want
to test my blood for, to see if I have this like genetic predisposition to whatever disease,
Alzheimer's or something like that. Your doctor won't do it for you. Yeah. They'll say there's
no reason to do it. You're not in the, even if you want to like a colonoscopy, they'll be like,
we can't do it. It's not appropriate But if you're rich you can do whatever you want
and so there are these places called health spas where you just go in there and you say
I want to get my blood tested for all micronutrients
I want to get a full genetic profile and they're like give me money and i'll do it for you
And so I went to this health spa and I got a full micronutrient blood profile. How much is that?
That was uh
699 dollars and then do you have a membership fee as well to
join to the spa no but you can become a member if you want to or you can do a la carte so you did
a la carte 699 699 and you know i'm kind of like a hypochondriac in here are you like a fucking
like housewife and a yeah i say this all the time like i don't spend
money on clothes or watches or technology or anything like that i will spend all my money
on health stuff so this to me is like the equivalent of going into like a chanel store
if you're like a housewife yeah it's that's crazy to me um i didn't even because you were telling me
about it.
I'm like, yeah, maybe I'll check it out.
Like, I don't do any of that stuff.
I don't, I'm not really interested in finding,
like, I guess if something was wrong,
I guess you feel sick.
So you want to find answers.
Sure.
I don't feel sick.
That's true.
But also it's the difference
between screwing that cap closed
and leaving it open. I just want every number to be correct. Right. And that's true but also it's the difference between screwing that cap closed and leaving it open
i just want every number to be correct right and that's impossible and it won't actually happen
yeah but right i'll never leave that cap unscrewed i will i will run through a war field to screw
that cap and i'll address the lotion spilling out when it spills i'm not gonna like prematurely cap it in that's
right but that being said you should get your standard screenings i know i should if you want
to if you want to have that analogy be truly like you should get don't wait for the the cream to
squirt out of the cap or whatever you do for some things oh god i know i was just reading a book actually about um it wasn't about
it but it's fiction it's miranda july it's called on all fours and it's about this woman going
through perimenopause which is the next thing in my life that will happen probably 45 i think like
so in the next five years but it can happen even earlier and it's just so fucked man and i heard naomi watts talking about it menopause on something and she said that it's so interesting
that we give so much compassion to like young girls who and young boys who are going through
puberty but like women who go through this gigantic hormonal shift it's just like no one
talks about it it's just only shameful not that we really talk about puberty puberty is also very shameful but there's there's at least like people know that kids that teenage girls are crazy
and emotional and like then women in their 50s it's just like oh but you know this is cute when
we're about to want to fuck you but right now no one wants to this is just annoying
that's the life of a woman that change you have puberty and then
you have periods which everybody makes fun of too like every stand-up comedian in the world
has made a joke about periods and then you go through menopause which also a lot of comedians
make fun of but i wonder if that post-menopausal life is uh is good how's that that's what i've
heard yeah there were there were some positives that came out of the book talking about it but
where it's kind of the thing i talk about in my special where you just give up and you
just stop caring what everyone thinks and you can kind of just do what you want because you don't
suffer fools anymore yeah I think a lack of suffering fools is one of the the best parts of
going through menopause but yeah it seems pretty rough and i can't i i mean i'm art that could explain
even my mood swings now like i could be in it now who the fuck even knows that's the most fucked up
thing about like birth control and stuff that men i really don't think truly grasp that you have to
take a pill or whatever you do every day and it like really fucks with you in ways that you don't
understand like a man doesn't understand i thank
god i'm not on it but i probably should be like my hormones are totally out of line and all my
friends are on some kind of cream yeah i've had to like rub creams on my thighs like just hormone
cream like it's coming for you girls if you're not there yet it's a coming yeah you're gonna
have to like balance your hormones so you even want to do anything the way you ever wanted to do it.
If you want to even remember or have like a little inkling of what your former self used to be like.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
No, I don't want to do that.
But you got to do it.
And that's the thing about going to this health spa.
Like, oh God, that stresses me out.
Like you're going in there like, yes.
Oh my God.
Yes. oh God, that stresses me out. Like you're going in there like, yes. Oh my God, yes. When I saw that list of things you could buy,
I was like, I'm so happy I found out this existed.
I had no idea.
Are you nervous to get bad results?
Well, I got my results back for the micronutrients.
And now I made a mistake.
I took, I got the blood test two weeks
after I got my gallbladder out,
which is like the dumbest thing you could possibly do.
Because your body's like still figuring out what to do with everything.
I've been popping pills, taking Pepsid.
Oh, right.
That's right.
I've been eating saltine crackers, exclusively saltine crackers for two months.
Okay.
And I get my blood test for nutrition.
What was I thinking?
$699.
But I get the results back and they were mostly good so even with there was a there was a few
things that were low my my selenium is low a couple of amino acids were low but like yeah i
know you gotta get those aminos but for but for someone who was like in the worst possible state
you could possibly be in you just got laparoscopic surgery and organ removed, and you've been eating exclusively saltine crackers for two months for my nutrients to be good?
Why saltines?
Because they're low-fat.
I had to eat a low-fat diet in order to avoid attacks.
Got it.
I was eating saltines.
There's other things that are low-fat, by the way.
I couldn't think of anything.
I kept trying to think.
I kept brainstorming it all.
You just walk through the aisles, and you look at any packaging that's green.
I didn't think of that.
That was like the 90s color of no fat, low fat.
Okay.
No, I could eat fruits and stuff like that, like a banana.
All right.
But you're relatively healthy.
So what's the next test you're going to get to prove to yourself that there's something wrong with you?
So, yeah.
So two months from now, Which will be two months away
From getting the gallbladder out
I will do the micronutrient test again
Because I think my results
Will be even better
Final thought
Wait
You're going to go back
And have the same exact test
What do you want
What do you want to get out of this
Do you just get this test
Every six months
To keep proving to yourself
Or are you going to add more tests
Is it going to get boring
If you stabilize
How are you going to achieve This new healthy Brian going to get boring if you stabilize how are you going to achieve this um new healthy brian like what's really going to change in your
life um well it's diet you know i've been at i i have been eating very well ever since i got the
surgery and um my smoothie you know like if i was low on vitamin b for example like if it came back
very well what are you not eating now that was such a problem before?
I don't know.
Sucking on a big Kit Kat bar?
Yeah, so I'll go back to doing that.
Lenny and Larry's cookie?
Can you get one of those still?
I haven't eaten one since the surgery. No refined sugars?
No, I'm not going to do any of that.
If you're really trying to get the healthiest ever,
you got to get rid of sugar,
you got to get rid of wheat,
you got to get rid of...
Yeah, I'm not doing any of that.
Okay, so you're not... If the results came back and said you're low with vitamin b which is a common low vitamin
thing and people feel tired and stuff then i would get i would start taking a multivitamin or a
vitamin b injection from the health spa i'm surprised they don't lie until you have all
these problems that they can inject you with things for money just taking a selenium supplement
right now i believe i can raise my selenium on my own.
I mean, I know it sounds hard, but I just got to eat my selenium.
I don't know where to get it.
I got to get one of these health spas.
I don't even know what to get checked, though.
Well, you know what your regular screenings need to be, right?
Tits, ass, pussy.
That's right.
Dentist. Dentist Dentist
Yeah dentist
I'm all about the dentist
And there's one more
That you're forgetting
That people
Completely ignore
It's insane
Eyes
But
Well yeah
You
I guess once you
Ears
You don't
No one really checks the ears
Until you start losing hearing
No but
Lips
Blood No What Your skin Ears, you don't, no one really checks the ears until you start losing hearing. No, but. Blood.
No.
What?
Your skin.
You need to go to a dermatologist once a year to get a check.
You need to get everything checked.
Yeah, I'm having that removed.
That's the organ I want to get rid of.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'm really resentful of dermatologists at this point, though, because I went in to have a thing checked and she was just like, no, that's nothing.
And then charges me hundreds of dollars.
No, that's nothing.
Yeah.
That's like your little test you just got.
Yeah.
You wanted to see something.
You wanted to hear some action.
I mean, no, I'm happy that it was.
I mean, I did get some action.
That's the thing.
Dermatologist is supposed to look over your whole naked body to look for any kind of suspicious activity.
Exactly.
And then what if I feel like there's I look at my my whole body there's no moles that are changing or moving or there might be places that
you don't see like looking on your butt or something like that like there might be like
oh look there's one right in the middle of your back that you never saw so they're getting in
your butt crack to look they're gonna look in my butt crack they'll look in your scalp they'll look
okay fine i could do that though. I mean, it's good.
I mean, if you don't have literally a single mole on your body,
then I guess you don't have to go.
But it's good to get in the habit of going
and just getting looked over once a year.
Yeah, I don't know why I'm fighting it.
I don't know why I'm fighting it.
I'm getting my new car today, I think,
and I figured out a way to get it where it's like I'm leasing it and Chris has
Worked it out so like I don't have to go to
The dealership
Yeah you can get a dealer
And they just are letting me sign a thing
It's heaven this is what I've wanted for so long
I hate sitting at the dealership
And having to like sit there and talk
While they fax people it's gonna be awesome
Yeah that's like Carvana
Doesn't carvana
do that i feel like i've died and gone there no i think yeah they do but i think they um
but then you get a car and it could be stinky uh-huh because i got into i saw a car that i
loved in the showroom at this place and i was like look at this big puppy it was like the number one
car like i'm looking in the windows i'm like i love it oh my god it's used too and it's like
lightly used perfect get in it smells so much like cigarette smoke oh yeah i can't get
it out but this car is a lease and it's new it's brand new yeah so you're not gonna worry about
anything you just get it delivered anything i will say that it's a white interior and that is
dicey for me with all my spray tans and you leave every makeup cap unscrewed half the way and the unscrewed caps you're not
joking but i you know what i the white makes me feel cooler it makes me feel like i'm it's the
person i want to be and i felt the coolest in it and i like the black exterior and the other one
was a white exterior with a um black interior and i was like i really just i don't want to like
err on the side of like but you're too dirty To have a nice thing So in the end
This all comes around
And I actually
Am getting the thing
That I
I'm not going to mess up
The thing that I think
I'm not
It's too nice for me to have
I'm actually going to
Keep it nice
And I got the nicest version
To like
And I have to get
Detailed quite often
So I'm going to learn
To treat it nice
Even though I'm leasing it
And it's not really mine
So I don't care
Right exactly
That's the way to think about it
Is you're taking care
Of someone else's car
Oh
Okay that's good That's good I'm is you're taking care of someone else's car oh
okay that's good I'm so
much better if it's
someone else's I would be
that will be someone
else's car in three years
that's so beautiful yeah
okay that's a really nice
way to think about it I'm
gonna go drive someone
else's car right now I
think thank you for
listening to the podcast
I'll see you in Vegas this
week people who are
coming to see me and
David Spade at the Venetian in Vegas this week. People who are coming to see me and David Spade
at the Venetian in Vegas
next weekend. And then we have
shows. I think I'm off the next weekend
and then shows. So many shows.
So many tour dates.
NikkiGlazer.com. You know where to find them.
Thank you guys so much for listening
to the podcast. We love you so much.
Don't be cut and bye.
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