The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #467 Nikki's Tirade, 'I'm Seated' & The Pup Has A Name!

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Nikki shouldn’t have to go on a tirade for rich people to understand that they need to help out their less fortunate family members with no strings attached. Nikki is proud to have this responsibility and is no longer interested in the theatrics of buying expensive gifts for loved ones. NNikki’s new social media guru, Emily, is the Gen Z vibe queen she’s been missing. They’re all wondering how more stuff doesn’t get swiped from baggage claim. In the Final Thought, Nikki goes through some of her essential picks from The Strategist column, “What Nikki Glaser Can’t Live Without" and announces her dog's name! Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport St port stereo podcast on the iheart radio app apple podcast and wherever you get your podcast the nikki glazer podcast here's nikki hello here i am welcome to the show it's nikki glazer podcast how's everyone doing today it's an extra episode this week. We've covered it all, but we're going to keep going. Brian and Noah are here. Comedy on the Air.

Today is a bunch of leftover bullshit that we scraped out of our ass. This is the scraps. Brian, are you getting a lot of feedback on Bon Appetit? Yeah, a good amount of feedback. Yeah, people are excited. There was one person in particular who was very important to me who I don't want to call out. But I texted them the article without comment. You know, just like, here's the article.

I texted it to a bunch of important people. Like important people in your life or people that like... Yeah, like important people in my life or people that like yeah like important people in my life and you didn't say like hey check like i'm in this you just like sent it i mean it's pretty self-explanatory i mean i guess it is everybody who received it was like oh my god that's amazing whoa it's so good it's so well written yeah and this one person wrote back three hours later cool with no with no that's it just cool was it a sibling no no is it someone that is in the business no no this person should be much more effusive to something like this i don't want to say who it is because i don't want to like

call them out but i just feel like did you it's a little bit more than just it or did you just write okay with a period back like what is that no i just did nothing i just did nothing cool like did they write cool with a period or cool exclamation mark just cool no punctuation yeah like did they heart it too no no just cool and i was like what the fuck i mean what does it take is this someone who's who you what would you have expected out of this person a cool with an exclamation mark i'm so proud of you parents oh no way Did your mom write cool? No way. I'm not saying who it was. I'm not saying who it was. Here we go.

Male or female? Male or female. I'm not saying any further. Well, based on this reaction, I don't even think this person's listening to this podcast because they don't have an investment in the things you do. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. People can be so disappointing.

He or she could have been distracted at the time but it is so much more than cool if someone that you are a blood relative of and i'm not talking like if you are a cousin can write cool a sister can't write cool you gotta have more than that can we all just step it up with celebrating things in other people's lives a little bit more like it's like yeah just and it doesn't matter what's what it is like if it's cool to them like be excited for people and and also if someone's sending you something and i'm just like i gotta say i've been so like i'm just like so disappointed in people lately for other people like you're not even asking me to be disappointed on at this person for you i mean it's kind of you brought it up in a way of like it's a little bit of like what but i'm fucking annoyed at people lately i don't even want to go off on a tirade about it but

ah tirade this here's a tirade we love a tirade it's about money if you are rich and someone in your family who you love isn't and they are struggling at all with money and you do not lend loan them amount of money that you do not need and you will not think about or even notice is missing you're a bad person and i just need to reiterate that like i'm talking to you person who's listening to this who has someone in their life and i think i've said it before but it needs to be repeated if they're not if they are not suffering with a psychosis if they are properly medicated even if they have like a bipolar tendencies and they maybe were crazy before and like you wouldn't have loaned the money if they have been stable for over two years you give them money you're not

like you got you gotta do this stop being stingy what do you you're not going to notice that money i so many people in my life are like i'm you know i'm struggling i i lost sleep last night because we just don't know if we're going to be able to afford this trip and and and it's like or like this this we want to move but we have to stay in this place we don't want because or we have to downsize to this place we don't want and i'm like your brother has a hundred million dollars what is happening what's going on your brother who you're not estranged from what's going on how could that brother know like know that their brother is moving to a small place and not go here's 10 grand it's literally does not matter to me because i have a hundred million dollars yeah i just got mad at my mom last night because gee we went out to dinner and um and i've really had to talk with her

recently about like you gotta stop this whole thing of like when i get things for you when i pay for things this whole muck we have to trudge through of like no it's too much and i'm like you have to know that if i'm buying it and i say i'm going to i don't need to do this little dance with you of you saying it's too much and I go no it's not and then we and then it always ends with me buying it it's never not going to I wouldn't offer it if I couldn't afford it I'm not someone who is bad

with money I have people that help me not be bad with money trust me but last so I just had to talk with her about it literally two days ago and then what did she say she said what did she say when you brought that up? Was she going to try? Well, first she goes, you spend too much money.

You're spending too much. Because she found out some money I've lent someone who needed it. You spend too much money, Nikki. I'm worried about that. Like literally that kind of tone out of nowhere. And then I was like, I need you to know that I have people looking after me who I trust very much who know that I don't,

I literally don't spend a lot of money compared to their other clients. Like I'm okay. And I said, mom, this is the amount I have. You need to Google this amount of money and see what people can do with that amount of money. Like I literally was like, I just, this is what i needed to do like when you you don't know because you're still living

from a place of like i i'm just scraping by so she's thinking i'm always scraping by and that because i'm spending all the stuff on people's hotels and flights or whatever it is that i'm just like hemorrhaging money constantly and i was just like you need to look at what the spending habits of someone with this amount can do and you need to like relax and and just trust me and she said i will say i i i sleep at night a little bit better because i know that you know no matter what like because you have been so generous that and i go you should sleep all night if you ever were in financial straits i would bail you out like i have the ability to do that i am a single person with a big income and i and i would take care of you there's no question about it you i want that's the greatest gift it's the reason i do this is that i want you to live

longer so you're so you get good sleep and you're not like my mom's stress about money is like ruins her body you know what i? And it ruins everyone's body. So if you are putting your family through this, when you could bail them out and you're making your sister and brother-in-law or whatever it is, or your, or your best friend and you have $10,000 laying around that you literally would not do anything with a good investment.

You can even say, pay me back when you're able to get on your feet. But if the person is not an addict or has psychosis, you're a bad, bad family member. If you're not lending the money, you're, to get on your feet. But if the person is not an addict or has psychosis, you're a bad, bad family member if you're not lending the money. You literally suck and I don't like you. There's some twisted backwards honor in being like, well, I earned this money.

You didn't. Yeah, think about it this way. You didn't. The salaries that people get for their jobs are random and don't make sense. Thank you, Brian. They are random and don't make sense. Thank you, Brian. They are random and don't make sense. An EMT who saves people's lives on the day gets $15 an hour. And then the

CEO of a tech company that delivers you a Nestle quick drink in three minutes gets like $700 million. And then a $50 million bonus. Yeah. And a 50 million. So like teachers are getting paid $50,000. If you have a cousin who is a teacher and they don't have enough money and they're putting money out of their pocket to buy their kids school supplies and you work at,

uh, I don't know, fucking oil company or no doing marketing for Sunoco from your dad yeah you didn't earn it and i'm guessing he and if he got it from his grandfather neither did he so a lot i have a friend whose parents are like hoarding a bunch of money until they die then then they'll get the money and my friend is like well you know my dad really believes in hard work and earning and i go he didn't earn it he got it from his dad and she was like whoa she didn't even she didn't even she hadn't even thought of it i go he's hoarding it until he dies so he wants you to get this when you're 70 because

he's gonna live to 93 so he wants you to get this money and he's not even so if you're someone who's like i'm not gonna get my kids money till I die. You don't want to see them have fun with that money and like live a better life because of it. You want to wait till they're in their 60s or 70s. What's the purpose of it? What is what is the. Exactly. What is the purpose of it?

And you're so right, Brian. Like people, people think people always say this to me. Nikki, you work so hard. Yes, I do. But I do work as hard as other people i see who don't earn as much as me okay i really see that all the time and so i don't i'll say yes i work hard i'll let that in but the amount of money i make based on how i work does not make sense based on other people's incomes and how much they work let's talk about my sister who has three kids and was

working a full-time job until she quit teaching because it didn't pay enough for how much she was working let's talk about that like she moms are working so hard they're not getting paid literally anything even by the government who should be paying them to have kids because we don't have people having kids anymore unless they you know like it's that's kamala joe biden and kamala are trying to do that fyi they're trying to increase the child tax credit it's it's it's just like i i, if you have money and you don't, because my mom the other day was like, Nikki, what you did for so-and-so, you were just so generous.

And I wasn't trying to be a hero, but I was like, you have to stop saying this because I don't, I know that it's technically generous compared to other people, but I really believe everyone should be doing exactly what i did in the circumstance if you had the amount of money i had and you had a person in your life who uh you loved very much who needed money it should not be generous to share that money i i just i and i wasn't trying to it sounded like i was being a martyr because i was like i really need you to stop using the word generous i I'm not generous. But I was like, no, this isn't coming from a place of being like, I'm just a kind person.

It's just in me. I literally don't think it's, I'm not, I'm kind in many ways. This is not a kindness. This is literally like, I just, you just do it because you are lucky. Can I, so I, as a person who was on the receiving end of it, a friend of mine, when I was in college, I was so broke. I was so stressed over money.

I couldn't pay my credit card bill. It was just like mounting and mounting with interest charge. And my friend just helped me pay it off. And he never asked for that money back. I did eventually pay him back, but just to like, say here, take that, pay off your bills so you can just breathe a little bit, and then just not have to feel like I owe my friend anything, just selfless giving, was what a relief.

I can't even tell you. I remember it 20 years later. It honestly feels selfish to me. I told my mom, I was like, honestly, I get off on it. Not because I'm like, I'm such a good person. I just like that whoever can breathe easier when they're looking for a new job, which they were scrambling to find one

and getting desperate and being like, do I pay for LinkedIn Plus? I can't really afford it because I'm looking for a job. But I i'm like how about you take this money that i don't even care about and that i could spend on some lavish vacation and you sleep at night what a great gift to give someone and it doesn't make me feel i just don't i don't think it should be about general it's not like i should be my mom's just like not a lot of people would do that. And I'm like, well, that's what's wrong with the world. Maybe I'm just, I just feel like, I just think if you tried it out, people out there who have a lot of money and you just gave a little bit to people who don't ask, you know, I'm

not, if people are begging you for money over and over, that gets annoying. And I do have some people on my DMs that listen to the podcast that beg for money and I get it. And I, I probably would do the same thing. I can't help out strangers. It does have a limit. some people on my dms that listen to the podcast that beg for money and i get it and i and i probably would do the same thing i can't help out strangers it it does have a limit and sometimes i do sometimes it's like it you give to charities yes i i give a lot but i'm just talking about people in your close life who you care about whose happiness honestly impacts your own life why wouldn't you make their life easier they're more fun to be be around. So last night, I'll tell you what happened last night

at dinner because I just couldn't, I talked to Chris and I was like, we need to have a talk with my mom at dinner because of what she just texted me before this dinner. We'll be back after this. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show

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And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So like an hour before dinner, my mom was like texting me,

Nikki, I'm looking at this menu. She suggested the restaurant, right? Because I said I had been there before, like weeks ago or something. And she was like, let's celebrate Golden Globe. So it was her idea to go out and celebrate.. And she was like, let's celebrate Golden Globe. So it was her idea to go out and celebrate. And I go, yeah, let's go to dinner.

Why don't we go to this Louis place, which I love. This place called Louis in St. Louis. Louis on Demand. And Chris and I had been there like a week ago with his brother. And I was like, yes, I can't wait to eat there again. They're so nice and it's like so delicious. It's a little loud. And not even a little i mean i honestly think

the decibel range in that place is on the verge of like the waiters and wait staff and the people who work at louis it is the best food i've had in st louis the best service so delicious so much care honestly the best meal you'll have in st louis that i've found but the loudness i'm worried for everyone's eardrums in that place. They're screaming. It is so loud. I don't know how you guys are going to fix it. I love you so much, Louis. There's music in the background that you can hear like a bass. But it's just like people are screaming in there.

Screaming. If you took people out of the restaurant and put them in your living room, it would be insane. Yeah, you'd go, what is going on? Are all these people deaf? Because they're all just screaming at each other. You really have to scream. And so because I don't know what, I really can't find the source of it.

But if you work at Louis, I'd love to like help you. I'm not going to help, but I'd love to talk about the acoustics. Give them money. To get them like foam for the walls. So I can have a better dining experience. I would.

I have a funny thing about louis too by the way that i want to say i think i want to say i'm kind of embarrassed by it but anyway going back so my mom goes this is an hour before dinner nikki i'm looking at this menu what can you even eat here and i go mom i've been there before i get a pizza with no cheese and i just ask them to dump every vegetable they have besides olives on the pizza extra red sauce and then i eat like probably one piece of pizza minus the crust because i'm not huge on carbs because i grew up in the early 2000s and it just gives me anxiety and then i eat all of the toppings off the pizza this is who i am that's what you're gonna see from me sometimes i'll stack the loose

pizzas so it doesn't look like just an empty pizza but but they don't judge me for it there. They just collect the plates. They don't go, whoa, what is this? They don't make me feel bad about my weird eating habits. I also get the broccolini. You just can't hear them when they say that. They literally can mock me to my face screaming and I wouldn't hear. I usually bring my

Taylor Swift ear things, which by the way in europe they gave you free ones at um i think it was zurich they handed out free earplugs and it was such a nice thing to do if you're going to concerts and not using earplugs you're you're fucking insane or louis so um i so that's what i got and so my mom was just like what are you gonna eat we all know my mom love my mom and i go mom i got it i get vegan stuff there all the time they know me and they'll they'll take care of me they like adapt things there's those and there's tons of stuff on the menu tons of veggies and so she goes oh and i'm looking at these prices nikki i what did i say

i can't i want to read this to you guys I want to know what the prices are too because my perception of prices you tell me what you think the prices are that my mom said she goes she goes Nikki

I only suggested that place because you said that the food was so good i've never been there but i feel bad that it's so expensive um what do you what do you think an entree is there like it's a fish entree i would say is probably like 46 i'm guessing it's around that i was gonna guess like maybe well not fish but let's say like an entree that Julie would get would be like $18. Yeah. Honestly, I think it's, let's look at it.

Because I really want to. For her to be a gas. So a pizza is around $23. A main entree is, the beef tenderloin is $45. But we're really in the range from $23 to. What about pasta? Do they have a pasta dish? Yeah, a pasta is going to be $23.

That's like a hamburger at McDonald's in LA is $23. Yeah, exactly. But my mom is used to like... My mom doesn't... My mom is... She goes, don't you call me cheap. I'm frugal. And I go, I hate that.

I don't like that word either. Like that word's almost worse. I go, you are cheap. So she goes... So she goes... she goes i go i go you she goes i've i've never been there but i feel so bad that it's so expensive i said you should feel really bad she goes i know you don't care about that and i go no i'm serious this is the first time i've ever been mad about something like this but i'm really pissed off that you suggested a restaurant i go to a lot you and dad can split a water in an app but that's it i'm gonna have to talk to my financial guy to

move some stuff around if you also want to split an entree but we can maybe make it happen and she was like wait wait hold on is she is her reaction like finally nikki gets it at first i was like maybe she's gonna take me seriously when i go you should be mad but the thing is she knows we've been through this a million times. I'm almost, I've told Chris, it's at the point where I feel like it's just something she feels like. She knows that it's not too much for me because she also just told me I should buy a $2.5 million house.

She was like encouraging that. So why would you encourage that? And then go this place for a $23 pasta is too much. Like, so it doesn't fit with what she's, it doesn't align with what she's already telling. It's just in the core of her being. Yes.

Like ingrained in her since childhood, that those prices, especially restaurant prices for some reason, specifically going out to eat is such a extravagance. For boomers. Yeah. Yes, it totally is.

And Chris even noted something at dinner. Cause I go, mom, I need to talk to you about something like we we can't do this. These theatrics before I spend something anymore. Like if I say I'm going to spend something, I don't want any kind of pushback on it. I think the best way to acknowledge that it's a lot of money and that you can't believe it's so much money is to just thank me afterwards and say, wow, that was such a good meal thank you so much it's so cool we get to experience things like this because we have a daughter who takes us out like that makes me feel better than going nikki no you can't because what that says to me is that i'm i'm doing something bad with my money that i'm being stupid that i'm a putz that i'm a um that you are tricking me somehow and just like that i'm that doesn't feel good to always, that you are tricking me somehow. That doesn't feel good

to always feel like you are spending beyond your means. I love the word theatrics for that. It's like you have to watch a little play every time you want to. Every time? No, Nikki, you can't. For that, I'm not.

I'll just drink from the tap. I'm not doing that. That for a water? No. And I'm just like I can't Then the curtain falls Yes

And it's just And it's Chris made a point He's like You Julie You felt it was tacky For you to suggest a place

That is You didn't know Was so expensive And you wanted Nikki To know that it was not You Like you didn't know It was these price

Like you would never Tell Nikki to buy something That was expensive Good job Chris And so it was really nice That he advocated for her position in that. And she was like, yes, that's exactly how I felt. And I understand that. And I also am my mother's daughter.

And I get upset about Uber canceling and charging me $10 or whatever. And I'll go, why did they do that? That's $10 I just wasted. And Chris will be like, what is going on? Why are you freaking out about this? Because money just makes people crazy. So I understand it. There's a boomer thing that I think every boomer does.

I went on a road trip with my dad, who's a boomer. And for hours, for days, every single time we passed a gas station sign, he would go, that's a dollar cheaper here. That's $2 more expensive here. Oh, look at that. We should pull,

if we have a full tank of gas, he'd be like, we should pull over. That's 50 cents cheaper. And it's like, we don't need to point out every single gas station price in every county.

Did they grow up with parents who were in the Great Depression? Is that what happened? And that's how it trickled down to them being obsessive about... No, the grandparents were in the Great Depression. Right, their grandparents. No, maybe it was their parents. I think it's their parents were at least kids

during the Great Depression. And so it trickled down. They were born in the 50s. Their parents were born in the 20s. I i will say though that the other day emily my social media girl who is just teaching me honestly everyone needs to get young friends because i am feeling so much younger because first of all i listen to last call teresa's it's making me feel younger because they're younger and emily is 25, I think. Okay. And she is just, she's so smart and well, like, I can hang with her because she is mature for her age.

You know, like, I have some young friends who are just, like, seem like they'd be in their late 30s because of how smart they are and stuff. But she still is, like, a youthfulness to her that makes me feel hip because she, like, teaches me things. Like, even yesterday, like, like last culture east as you know they asked me to be on there to present on their show because i begged them to and then i wrote back screaming and i sent it to emily to be like look i used screaming because she will always say like screaming oh my god uh hyperventilating like she'll just say it but like with a period you know and another one i learned the other day is I'm sitting like someone, if someone's like expecting, like I want, like, I'm like, oh my God, I'm about to tell you this good news.

Like this big news. People go, I'm sitting, I'm seated. I'm seated. Sorry. I'm seated. To anyone who was like, I'm sitting, I'm seated. And I go, what does I'm, cause I sent Emily a screenshot that someone had said, I'm seated that we were on a text group chain. And I and he's a younger guy Jonah from my PR team.

I go Emily. What is I'm seated mean and she was like, oh it means like that. I go is that a Gen Z term? Have you heard that she was I was like, maybe he just made it up because that can happen too. And she said no that it means like, okay, I'm ready. Like I'm sitting here with popcorn. I'm ready for the show to begin. Tell me what's happening. Like I'm seated which with popcorn. I'm ready for the show to begin. Tell me what's happening.

Like I'm seated, which is a great phrase. Let's all use it. Like let's not mock Gen Z for their phrases. It's honestly so much fun. And then I go, maybe though it I'm seated is in reference to when, before you tell someone something crazy, you go, are you sitting down? And someone would go, I'm seated. So we were like, it's maybe a mixture of those but emily you know

wait hold on i i think i know the appeal of that because it gets ahead of it so instead of like you telling them to sit down they're getting ahead of it it's forward right and and again like i said with these gen z terms it like gives you more it allows for more thoughtful context of the conversation i'm allows for more fun. I love seated. I'm just not confused by this term at all. I don't understand even why we have to figure it out. If you were in a conversation with someone where it was like,

okay, you guys, you've got to see this picture. You guys, I'm about to send you this picture. You're going to freak out. And someone just goes, I'm seated in all caps. Wouldn't you be a little bit like, what is that? You would totally not think that's a weird thing to say or something like you would just know that that i mean there's plenty of terms where i would have this well it wasn't like i was confused i just wondered if he made it up

like i understood what it meant he's waiting for the thing i didn't know if it was something that other people were saying and i like that it is because i'm gonna start using it i do have to say i i am i do appreciate gen z speak i think i love it they're pretty cool um after watching a bunch of like youtube gen z youtubers who just have their like monologue videos out there which is like the most popular youtube videos now yeah i'm like these guys are funny and they are cool it's they are so cool they are so cool and i don't know they're just like more emotionally advanced so they've got that going for them which we really didn't even though they still have immaturities about them because they are have had less life but

emily the other day was i was complaining about some cost of something what was it oh she videotaped me in target like getting new makeup because last weekend i totally forgot my makeup bag so we went to target and i was like making like a a an emergency makeup bag even though like all my makeup is like elf products and wet and wild and like in fact i left i accidentally was using emily's makeup bag and i had my wet and wild foundation which wet and wild is like the cheapest brand brian it's literally like for a foundation Emily's makeup bag and I had my wet and wild foundation, which wet and wild is like the cheapest brand, Brian. It's literally like for a foundation,

it's $5 and foundations that like that I should be using as a celebrity are probably like $90. Like that's how it's less than McDonald's. If that's even a possibility of like what makeup would be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, um, it's a Costco, uh, glizzy. So I, aren't they a dollar? So I left it and she goes, Nikki, I'm dead. Or so whatever.

She sent me a picture of her wet and wild that I left in her makeup bag once she got home. And I was like, it's good. It actually, I go, Bethany Frankel likes it too. Cause I saw Bethany Frankel doing drugstore makeup reviews. And I was like, she's on the wet and wild train too. It like it has like a shine in it and i just like it and i feel like all makeup is like trash for your face anyway none of it's regulated by the fda like it's it's literally they don't they don't test it like they don't ridiculous it's i don't even know what they're testing on animals if they're not checking to make sure it doesn't like kill us and dump

things into our the biggest organ in our body which is our skin it's insane but she was like i'm dead you're using this and i go it's honestly so good and then she put it i go try it and she was like i'm what did she said like you know she was just like wait she said tell me can you just give me some who is this person how did you meet them she is my social media um okay got it got it yeah and she's just like blown up my tiktok she just like helps me feel she is like she's like my cheerleader she like noticed one day i was down and she sent me these voice memos about like i just want to let you know that and i realized recently that you like voice memos maybe more than text but i just

need you to know that the reason like you she was like i had a goal when i first started working that i wanted to work with nikki glazer and i am now working for nikki glazer and it is the it is a dream job not only is it so much fun but i am getting to grow so much i'm learning so much i'm having the best time like it was so sweet she was like and you are a queen. You don't realize it. I don't think you understand your worth, but she was like talk. Cause she was sharing a hotel.

Like we were at the same hotel and she was like the wall next to me and Chris. And she sent it over and I go, Chris, I just got it. I left. She was like, maybe like leaving the job. Cause she's had a really long voice memo.

And I was like, what's this going to be? And Chris and I are just listening into a bed. And she's just like talking like this. She's like, seriously, you are. It it's it was the nicest thing i've ever gotten and i'm like this girl loves me so much i love her so much she believes in me i like trust her because i think she's really cool and like if she thinks i'm cool it just is very validating when like a young person thinks you're so cool oh yeah but she goes nikki nicole glazer wet and wild

foundation i said i like it bethany frankel does too. She goes, okay, maybe I'll try it. I said, do it. She goes, okay, period. But I think she accidentally said period like she was talking. She goes, okay, so I tried it and it looks stunning. Then I go, it's good. It's probably full of bad shit, but what is it? She goes, 100p. That's the new thing too.

People say 100p. They don't say 100%. They're saying 100p. There's already the percent sign. No, no percent sign, just 100p. don't say 100 they're saying 100 sign there's already the percent sign no no percent sign just 100p it's not cool anymore no well i think that's just it just works to say 100p and when she said stunning she was question mark yes she's like i look stunning like she's like you know so she's cool but she was like so she films me for this target run and i see a nine dollar lip gloss and and I'm like, fuck that. And I threw it back, and I'm like, that's bullshit.

And I was like, she sent me the clip of it. She was like, I'm dying. This is so funny that you got so mad about this $9 lip gloss. Because I was going to get it, and I go, $9? Fuck that. And there were kids around, and I was kind of like, oh, sorry. And I was like, oh, that's my mom coming out of me for sure. I'm not paying $9 for a fucking lip gloss.

And she was like, Nikki, you get Starbucks twice a day and each starbucks is nine dollars and she was like and you demolish it within one minute i'm like you're so right that lip gloss was worth it so it's all perspective but does she talk like this in real life or is it just over text um a little bit both like she it's it's it she definitely does talk like a gen z-er but it doesn't make her seem less intelligent or like trying to be cool it's just like can you do an impression of her talking sounds oh 100p oh yeah it's like that yeah we'll get it done oh what did you do today you know what girl okay you know like we'll get it done i mean like yeah she talks like okay so if i go to the i go up to you you're her and know what girl okay you know like we'll get it done i mean like yeah she talks like

okay so if i go to the i go up to you you're her and i go what do you think of this shirt what do you think of this shirt i'm thinking about buying i mean it's cute i mean i mean i think that one's better like she would she was she's she's honest with me but she's like she'd be like um okay it's like giving giving tortured poets. She would use it's giving. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and then she would reference something like some kind of person, like someone who's, she's like, oh, yeah, like so-and-so wears stuff like that. I'd be like, who's so-and-so?

And then I'd have to Google the person and find out. I love Emily as like a motivational coach that you're carrying around with you. This is awesome. She's so positive all the time. I love having her around. And she's like, yeah, girl, we'll get it. She won't accept extra money for coming out on the road with me. She's like, oh, I already get paid to work for you.

I pay a company that employs her. And I'm like, okay, I need to pay you extra. You're giving me your weekend. I pay for a flight and hotel, but she she's like the day that i ever accept a venmo from you is the day like we are not working together anymore and i'm like i don't even know what that means but okay but i'm gonna but she's just like she's gonna resign yeah exactly she's gonna send a request but she's just so sweet and she's so positive and like um yeah she just everyone I think everyone could really use an Emily in their life I didn't know I needed

one so desperately until she came into it of just like a young person that kind of looks up to you and thinks I didn't even know she was like a fan of mine like I was just on a call with someone who she was on a zoom call um you know i found out about this company she works for up high through my management company they they have another probably client who works with them and so they were like let's set up a meeting for you to talk to them about what they can do for your social media and what you need from them and she was just on that she was just a girl on a box and a zoom call and i was like oh she's really nice but i didn't know that she had written down when she first started working for

Up High, they asked her, like, what's your dream client? And she wrote Nikki Glaser. Like, I didn't know, like, that is I didn't know any of that. So it was really cute that she's, like, kind of revealed it quietly along the way of, like, what I mean to her. It kind of feels like how I'd probably

do a Taylor Swift thing, even though Taylor Swift is well aware at this, if she isn't, she's not paying attention like that. I'm a huge fan, but if I was to be in her orbit, I would probably just do what she needed to do, help her in the way she needed and not like inject any of my fandom until it

was time to be like, in all seriousness, like you mean a lot, you know what I mean? Like she did it the right way. If you're, what job do you think you could realistically be hired for it if you weren't famous the banter yeah for her to go on talk shows uh punching up uh stories she tells or um you know she doesn't need the help by any means but like even like

you know things she says in between songs like i thought of a funny thing for taylor to say um after like there's a part in um at the heiress tour when everyone's holding up their phones and doing like you know the lights like we don't have lighters anymore which by the way that would have back in the 70s when everyone did that with lighters and 90s and early 2000s wouldn't your fingers start like burning and melting off like that would be really hard to hold for a whole song so i like that we use like our flashlights so we all do that during marjorie we're all like this with our flashlights yeah yeah it's it's the it's the new firework right drones and so we're doing this the whole song and then afterwards she's like you guys are so sweet you all held up your phones and like i

just think it would be a funny thing to be like you risk wasting your wasting your battery life for me to have that special moment with the song. Because we're really doing it for her because it looks so pretty for her to look out. And she's singing about her grandmother who we're all kind of like paying homage to in this beautiful song about her grandmother who's passed away. And her grandmother's voice is singing throughout

because it's in the song. And so it's like echoing throughout. And she gets teary-eyed sometimes. Swifties at one point all came together to hold a picture of her up for taylor to like look at because we're like they were like trying to get her to cry um and i think taylor appreciated even that like she's really sweet but i just was like oh i could punch up some stuff i mean honestly i could just offer her sincere um like oh my god you look so fucking good right now like this is the greatest look you've ever had holy shit you just killed that performance like she doesn't need any more of that in her life

but a sincere person to uh do exactly what emily does for me which is like that was exceptional what you just did or you look so good in that or like you know i've had famous friends before where they're constantly hearing all the compliments and you try to give them a compliment that really means something and i've always said this like people think that famous people are always getting complimented so sometimes they never get complimented because everyone's like oh they've already heard how great they were on this thing but i would you know when i used to be friends with jay law i would like text her like oh my god you killed it on fallon that was so funny when you said blah blah blah like i would give her a list kind of of things she said because i was just like she might people just might assume she already knows

how great she is because why wouldn't she she's jay law but like i would just try to find a way to um yeah just like because i know that i always still like to hear great show when i do have a great show you know not when it's just like cursory i mean i always still like to hear great show when i do have a great show you know not when it's just like cursory i mean i still want to hear it because when i don't hear it i'm like it must have been the worst thing ever but like i know my team when i've had a really good show afterwards they'll be like holy shit that was great like and it means something to me to hear that every single time um and i always tell the story when i talk about this of chris rock at the comedy cellar he had just gotten off stage and i was in the story when i talk about this of chris rock at the comedy cellar he had

just gotten off stage and i was in the stairwell and he was walking by and he had just murdered right like did so well and this was probably 2017 or something and uh he gets off he's walking up the stairs and i'm like i should say good job because that was really good but like he doesn't need to fucking hear it from me then i just was like wait a second nikki when have you will you ever reach a point where you don't want to hear a good job after a set especially from a comic who's like judging you from the stairwell and so i just go that was a killer set and he just goes thanks and he looked at me almost like who knows i'm projecting onto it but it seemed to me that he appreciated it and was kind of like

i'm gonna walk by this person they're not gonna just say what acknowledge what just happened because it's kind of like when you walk out of the comedy cellar room it's like and then you walk in the hallway and everyone no one's clapping in the hallway because we're all just comics like waiting and it's kind of like awkward to like clap so it just seems like weird to walk out of that and then walk by someone who's just like says nothing i mean brian we've been comedians who like have walked off stage and people don't say good job and when you haven't done a good job it really feels horrible when no one can when people go how were they that's what they ask that's that's the classic like every comedian knows you bombed if a comedian watched yours you know they

at least saw the last minute of your set which was rough because you you didn't now they're just worried about their set because they saw how terrible the end of your set oh i think that's interesting i think they just want to be like did you think that went well like they need to say something because they can't say nothing so they go how did you like them i'd rather someone go rough night because a rough night acknowledges that like i know you're oh it's the atmosphere yeah i know you're a good comedian i know that you're funny that was just i'm not gonna pretend like if someone's tiptoeing around maybe upsetting you because they said that that was a bad set that that means they really think

you you're bad enough that that is something that would bother you see i just think we're all fragile enough no matter how good we are to never want to acknowledge a bad set but i've i've had some you know bad sets well yeah i guess if it wasn't a friend if it was a chris rock if it was you coming off stage and you had a bad set i would literally know it was because the audience sucked like i think we we've i've had some openers that have just had not good sets because the the audience is too drunk they don't respect the opener because they're there to see me they don't understand how a comedy show runs they just talk through their whole set they're drunk they're getting drinks and the person just can't get the plane off the ground because no one's listening

so how the fuck are you supposed to get a laugh so it's just the whole time it's a struggle and i've had some you know openers walk off like a little shell shocked. And I always just say to them, I fucking hate them. Like if that's, that's just like, I fucking hated them. Like it's because it's not about you.

And it's very nice, but it's true. It's like, yes, sometimes I do think that it's kind of always, I always actually think it's on me. Like even if the crowd is, I mean,

there's been some crowds that are just insane that you're just like, I don't even want them to like me, but it kind of is always on us to win them over we're performers like that's part of the skill like you can't always blame the audience i am not a comedian who will ever really lash out in an audience if they don't laugh like that's one of my biggest pet peeves is like when a comedian doesn't get a joke or like doesn't get a laugh and they go like oh are you offended like they act like the crowd did it usually get it or is offended by it yeah and then sometimes it happens so often that they just add it to their act to say that afterwards and then sometimes it will get a laugh and they'll say what are you offended and you go oh this just started working for you because it did it for months, clearly,

because you have such a reaction. But getting mad at a crowd for not getting you, it always, to me, is not a good luck. And I'm someone who always will take blame almost too much, I think, to a fault.

But I do think that's part of our job i think it's joke per joke i mean to me the opener's job is to make sure that they are laughing by the time you get off stage so if you start off and they're tight and they're tight yeah as long as they're ready to go for the headliner yeah then that's fine you did your job even if your set was was torturous yeah but like that for for me so if the if the audience just seems like tired or stoned or like not paying attention then i will be like what's going on you know like what's wrong with you like wake up like i would i i do that sometimes yes just and it kind of like sabotages my own set so that they wake up a little bit for the next person.

Well, that's really nice of you because you're doing the job of an opener. But I think that you're right in calling it out sometimes because sometimes they need that kind of substitute teacher energy of like the substitute teacher just like stops talking because the class is so rowdy. And then everyone gets quiet because they're like, oh, she's mad. You know, like it's like the only way to get attention is to either snap and be like, what's going to break the fourth wall a little bit? Even though it's kind of already broken when you have a live audience. But okay, we'll be back. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

Let's end it. Really? No, I don't even view it as something I do as a comedian or as an opener. I do it in real life. If I say something and I don't get the response I want, then I will do that in real life if i if i say something and i don't get the response i want then i'll i will do that in real life i'll go how did you not think that this was like i so that's just my personality also of just like when that person said cool cool did you write back to it no no no okay so maybe it's not you but no in real life it is not over text right all right, right. It just seems mean. All right. Cool.

All right. We'll be at Biker for this. Cool stock. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

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the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction. Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's your turn. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist.

When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail.

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A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, so I have a twist for you in the theft in airports saga that you talk about frequently on this podcast. Yeah, I'm seated. Let's hear it. Okay, so there has been a rash. You're going to be incredibly disappointed by the end of this, but there's been a rash of thefts at airline terminals over the last year, and governments don't know what to do about it. Cities don't know what to do about it.

Inside the airport terminal past TSA? Well, the- Or at baggage. So I was looking at this article. I was like, I can't wait to send this to Nikki because there's all these thefts happening. They don't know what to do. Everyone's bags are being stolen. And then I look it up and it's like all of them, even they qualify in all the articles.

They're like, all of these thefts are happening at baggage claim. Yes. I don't know how it doesn't happen even more often. It's insane. It made me think about it. Like you're just, you're not there yet. It's almost like anyone can go in there and it almost feels like the why criminals haven't figured out this sooner is like how i feel about why we didn't figure out putting wheels on

luggage sooner like it's like it's right there guys do they not want to pay for parking maybe but it's worth it there's treasures in every luggage every luggage there's treasures or medications or something you can get high on um and also we were talking about wheels on luggage remember you know like there weren't wheels on luggage until like the early 90s i think maybe late 90s that became ubiquitous it was clinton but then even, but, but we all go, how did we not think about wheels on fucking luggage? Like we've been carrying around luggage for decades now, like maybe almost centuries,

just carrying this like wooden handle that you have. I have, I know why. And then, but wait a second. But then also for, for two decades, we were doing two wheels.

No one thought of four wheels until like 10 years ago. And now every luggage is four wheels. And four wheels, if you don't know, is so much better than two wheels. So much better. And so it's like, what could be next that we are not seeing that is right in front of us? What's six wheels? What's that going to be? What were you going to say, Brian?

Why weren't we using wheels when i think about luggage i think about the people in the you know 50s and below who could afford to have luggage were rich enough to have servants to carry the luggage for them and they didn't care what the see i would have been a rich person being like the servants are gonna break their back like i really can't stand when i get a car service and it's an old person i'm like the larry david episode when it's like a woman and he's like i don't want this i really am like this is bullshit i want like a big man who looks at my 70 pound suitcase and is like this is nothing and just hurls it in with one hand and is not hurting his back like i love that guy. That's kind of what I want. I'm sorry. I'm sexist and I'm sizist for ages, I guess. I am ableist probably in terms of their bone density,

but I don't want to hold this thing either. I'm packing it this way knowing that it's going to get a heavy tag and that people who are in the back recesses of the airport or have back support straps on? I hope. I don't even like it when the Southwest woman has to hurl it onto that little thing. I'm like, you poor...

These people are beating up their bodies and they're at the ticket counter and they don't have any kind of back... Repetitive stress injuries. Oh, it's... A shout out to you guys at the ticket encounter and anyone who deals with baggage. It's fucked.

But you're so right about that, Brian. Like, no one gave a fuck. Back in the early 20th century or the mid-20th century they even had trunks instead of luggage insane like a rich debutante would show up at the dock with a bunch of trunks and a briefcase i mean men were carrying around briefcases themselves why not put a strap on it because it was gay do you think it looked too much like a purse? Yeah, it was way gay And that's what women did? But even women didn't have like, you know

What's it called? Cross-body bags Yeah We just had our bosoms Yeah, we had to hurl those around Should put a wheel on that When I was in college I used to use a messenger bag

Instead of a backpack Remember the messenger bags? What happened to those? Nobody uses those anymore Yeah, that's interesting I don't know I love the good messenger bag yeah i think you can bring it back uh fanny packs are the new purse though i see so many girls with my same purse i have a fanny pack every day it's always the same purse you did obvi does yes he's on the fanny pack train

they're amazing great does he wear it around his waist or does he wear it around right under his belly instead of oh my god this stuff in his cargo uh it's so convenient it's amazing it's so much better than pockets i'm proud of so i wanted to talk about a thing that i did for um what one of my favorite things to read is the things like items I can't live without what is the name of the title of it I'm sorry I didn't set this up correctly the strategist is one of my favorite websites by the way it's by the New York

magazine and it's a it's for consumers people who buy a lot of shit it's for everyone because if you want if you want actual like reviews of things that aren't paid unless they kind of sometimes you can tell when they're paid i think they even have to say they're paid but generally these are just people who are hired that have great taste in

literally everything and they get people to review different things and try out every kind of cuisinart or every kind of um yoga mat like if you are looking for a product, go to the strategist website, and they will have a listicle of which ones are the best with links and everything. And so, final thought, one of my favorite things that the strategist does, this website, offshoot of New York Magazine, is called Celebrity Shopping,

and it's what blah, blah, blah can't live without, and they do a different celebrity every week. And honestly, I have bought probably thousands of dollars worth of stuff from this and i am rarely disappointed because i do feel like they the people who interview you for this do a really good job of getting you to pick products you can tell when celebrities have phoned it in and it's like the whole thing they talk about is just like whatever lotion company their best friend started and it's like $800 a jar or it's like they're trying they do like a meditation

book that they read once. They're trying to seem smart. A lot of them talk about journals and pens they like and like quill pens and you're like you're trying to get laid through this list. So my list I just want to share because i put a gigantic amount of thought

into it because i am a fan of this thing and so when i got interviewed by um by jordan mcmahon mcmahon um he was like wow i he even noted like i haven't seen someone i haven't interviewed someone to put some this much thought into it i was like because i'm a practical things and it's like i i picked things that i needed i didn't want to i made it sure that i didn't want anyone to think i looked cool like none of these products were picked so that you would think i was something that i wasn't and by the way my list was way longer the first first one I gave. And I took things off that I did. I checked my ego and I'm like, you're putting this on to seem like cool

because you're worried who might see it. But these are just things I think everyone should have. Not everyone, but most people. First of all, my Halo sleep eye mask. By the way, they gave the wrong link at first. And there was a picture of one that looked like a migraine helmet. And I was like, people are buying the wrong mask

because of me. It's the first thing on my list switch out that photo right away so it's my favorite sleep mask by far my halo sleep by mask it's ten dollars on amazon i literally buy probably 20 of them a year because i lose them on planes and stuff they are the best eye mask i recommend them they they are they are cooling i don't know how they do it. They have a cool... Is that the one? Turn it around. Yep. That's pretty close to it. I think that's probably... You bought me this.

I use it every day and now I can't sleep without it. God damn it. It truly... Like you said yesterday, it makes you a little bitch. It makes you like, I can't sleep without my face mask. And then the thing i've always talked about on the show um before in case you're new to it it's the ordinary it's by the

ordinary it's ten dollars it is my favorite serum that i use on my face every single day i've used i cannot believe you put that out there 10 years i know i was like gatekeeping it for a while you know what i have i have other ways to get this stuff because it's just 100 plant squalane and by the way everyone's putting it in their shit now. Squalane is like the new thing that people put in their skincare lines. It's so cheap. You guys just get 100% plant-derived squalane, the ordinary, $10. I use it on everything.

It's just moisturizing without being oily, but it goes on like an oil. It's slick. It absorbs great. You can put it on in the morning, and you are moisturized the rest of the day. I'm not kidding you girls. You, if you, if you see moisturized all day off of whatever serum you're using,

cause I use, I've used every fucking serum in the book. Tell me what that is because hyaluronic acid is not going to keep you moisturized. No creams keep you moisturized all day, all through the night. They always, you always,

they absorb quickly and then you got to put something else on. This keeps you moisturized all day. through the night they always you always they absorb quickly and then you got to put something else on this keeps you moisturized all day can't literally would that's my number one product i can't live without and i would put it above starbucks and i didn't put starbucks on this list because you know everyone already knows then there is a um eyeliner that i found when i was traveling in europe for my tour it It's the only eyeliner you use. It's a pen. It's like if you want to do a perfect wing. It just gives you the blackest line. It's $5.

I mean, I'm not even meaning to give you bargains here. It's by Calligraph. C-A-L-L-I-G-R-A-P-H. Pro Precise 24-hour waterproof matte liner. Holy shit. It's so good. It's $5 on Amazon. Or no, at Catrice. Well, you can find it anywhere, but it's five dollars on amazon or no at catrice well you can find it

anywhere but it takes a little while to ship to you sometimes because it's back order and it's from europe um the next thing i can't say enough good things about this the bow and oak karaoke microphone okay it is i got it's a karaoke microphone sent to me because years ago because i was doing a some kind of thing for i I think, Glamour magazine where I got products that were really high-end products. And then they gave me the low-end version, like the ripoff one. And I had to see which one I thought was better. And maybe I liked the cheaper one. For a karaoke mic, absolutely not.

You've got to go with the Bow & Oak. It's $120. B-O-N-A-a-o-k karaoke microphone it has a built-in speaker like a bose mini speaker that you would like use in your house but it's on the microphone and so when you sing into it you have amazing acoustic like amazing sound it is like your own little amplifier next to your microphone and so if you are someone who likes singing or likes karaoke, they are essential.

If you have kids that like performing, it just, it's, it's just a, it's an amp system in your hand and it's awesome. And it does effects on your voice. So you can sound way better. And,

and, and I've talked about it on the podcast before. It used to be one of our like singers where I go karaoke mode, but it's amazing. Um, skipping ahead, the new Lixy dual folding cell phone stand okay that i'm i'm buying that dude noah what does it do buy three of them because

you'll lose they will they are so compact they fold up it's just a little phone stand so like when you're eating or something you just like it stays sturdy it's got great movement it's just a well engineered phone stand it is the one of the best engineered things I've ever seen. It's so simple. And why do you need this? Sometimes I'm eating oatmeal and I want to be on my phone and I want to read something or look at something, but I don't want to hold my phone. I want my phone perched up so that it's reading and I can just scroll with one hand.

We're watching. Or if I'm doing an Instagram Live, I can perch it and then talk or I'm filming something hands-free. I get that. Or if you're watching a YouTube video'm doing a instagram live i can perch it and then talk or i'm filming something hands-free i get that or if you're watching a youtube video while making a smoothie or something absolute oh my god brian you will die it's so they're so 100p 100 i'm dead i'm dead 100p you're seated can you're screaming i'm lying down in a coffin i love it because there are so many of them that i got overwhelmed trying to figure out which fucking iphone stand to buy so thank you nikki glazer for putting that on your list so right noah it is this is also like dog beds if anyone has a great little dog dog bed to recommend

i am overwhelmed at the options and i have it i mean everyone has it we already know what it is what let me look at I just literally bought another one for my dog because my old one was looking a little ratty. I was like, let's get you a new one. Every dog loves this bed. They cannot get enough of it. Give me. I'll look it up right now. I'll keep going. By the way,

that phone stand was called the Nulixy. N-U-L-A-X-Y. It's on Amazon. $15. I put in a guitar a baby taylor guitar because it's 450 that's a little bit of a price point but if you're buying a guitar and you want to learn it's small you can figure out how to learn i was just trying to encourage people to pick up guitar later in life and you can travel with it and if it gets like beat up on the plane and they make you check it like it's not the biggest like you're it's not like a you

know two thousand dollar guitar that you're like it's the neck broke it's four hundred dollars it sounds great and you can travel everywhere with it i just thought it was good um this one i've kind of backed away from but i do believe when i do use it it's amazing um red light therapy apparently it's like it takes years to actually start showing like the red light therapy mask you wear like whatever the led masks the thing they're doing to your face won't show up for a year like so whatever college in their building has to take a year to build so you'll never see direct results from this stuff right away and that makes me discouraged to use it because i've bought i spent thousands of dollars on red light masks and different things and i just don't use them

but the solo wave four in one red light therapy starter kit it's like this little wand and it and different things and I just don't use them. But the Solo Wave 4-in-1 Red Light Therapy Starter Kit, it's like this little wand and it vibrates and it has a red light on it, which is like whatever, who cares. But the vibration and just the gliding on your face, you could do it with the Squalane. It's so relaxing. It definitely de-puffs because of the slight vibration

and it feels so good. And you feel like you're Hailey Bieber after you use it. You're just like glowing and you feel like you just did something good for yourself it's mindful you can just sit there with your new phone on your new lixy stand and just do it gently across your face and it's 262 dollars but i really do think it's awesome um and works really well and i like it um and then there's a charcoal deodorant that makes you smell like nothing and i think i've talked about it on the podcast before but it's called purely great charcoal deodorant you stir it up and if you literally don't want to smell for like a day

swab this stuff on your pits it's natural it's charcoal you do have to stir it up and it does come with a little stick like the stick you know that you get to in those cheese crackers the red stick it's literally exactly that stick but it's white and you stir it up and it's almost like that same cheese consistency but it's like chalk and water that you got to stir and then you get it to that cheese consistency you put it in your pit you close your pit and you just like get take the the little stick out and you just like kind of and then you just mush your pits together like this and you will not smell for days if you don't want to literally zero scent It's wild. Chris and I can't stop talking about it. I don't use it every day

because it's kind of a pain in the ass with the ladle and stuff and you got to stir it and sometimes in a rush, but it's called Purely Great. And if you want a natural deodorant that honestly does not make you stink. And if you've heard

Intrusive Thoughts episodes, I have problems with natural deodorant and stinking. I've had that in my past. And so I had to go back to the aluminum kind. But this has made it so I can when I want to have a natural deodorant and not smell at all. We don't even understand how it works because Chris has tried every natural deodorant. We all know they don't work.

They work kind of. But this one actually works. It's purely great. It's $13 on Amazon. Okay, what is the dog bed? The dog bed is $24.30 on Amazon. Okay, I'm getting it right now. And it's called Best Friends by Sherry, the original calming donut.

And it comes in many different colors. And I'm telling you, my dog cannot get enough of this thing. He will not sleep in anything else. Oh, Marion has this. I tried to order this last night, Brian, but it's back ordered. I mean, everybody knows it's the best bed. I mean, I see other people, and I go, sometimes I'm on Instagram, and I

see someone else's dog in that bed, and I'm like, you know, you know that that's the best bed. Okay, I'm getting the Taupe Shag. Oh, it's $15.99. Actually, yeah, I needed this bed this week, and it was back ordered till Tuesday, September 3rd, but I'm getting it anyway, because you know what, she should have two beds, and it's the best one, and we'll see which one she chooses.

I also have a good harness recommendation. If your dog slips out of its harness, gets out of it. If I put a harness on it, she freezes and won't move. She literally can't. And then I'll pull her, and she'll stop barking, but then she'll freeze again. She can't understand that her body can move. That's what my cat does. I don't know if this will fix that.

But this harness is, you cannot get out of this harness. I tried like 10 different harnesses with Jack when I first got him and he slipped out of all of them except for this one. How could you slip out of a harness that goes around your legs like pants? He pulls backwards. He's so small. Oh, he's smart. He pulls backwards

and he slips his neck out going in the small and dry. Oh, he's smart. He pulls backwards and he slips his neck out going in the opposite. And you're like, sometimes you're pulling to like, come with me. And he pulls the other way. And then he lifts his leg and gets out. So what's it called? The new harness is called, well, this is the harness I've had for him for now like six years. It's called Ruffwear.

R-U-F-F-W-E-A-R. I had a feeling. Okay. Yeah. Do you know the Ruffwear? No I just had When you said Ruff I was like oh Oh yeah No they're gonna do that A pun

Now on Amazon It says currently unavailable See that's what I'm saying The shit sells out I'm a little Yeah I'm worried about Some of these products now

Chewy I've always had a great experience With Chewy They're so amazing Their customer service is great Oh the dog has a name by the way We named her officially yesterday. Should we see this next week?

Seated. It's Seated. Wait, is this going to be a click-hanger? Are you guys Seated for the name? Everyone Seated. Get Seated. Exclamation point. Goldie. Golden Globes didn't hurt this name, but it was like,

oh, that's a sign we should go for that because it's kind of like funny that that happened in my life around the time i got her and it sounds like girly which what is what we've been calling her but we weren't like sure of that and she is golden and our pet sitter told us she's just a golden dog like she's a gold she has like she's just got golden energy and she said that like a month ago and we were like, oh, that's kind of funny. Maybe we should call her Goldie. We were flirting with it and then the Golden Globes. And then, yeah, Matt Green, my brother-in-law yesterday, texted our group chat

like, congrats on Goldie. I was like, oh, wait. I go, this is her name. I go, that's what we're naming the dog. And so Chris agreed last night. So it's official. Goldie. Goldie Hawn. Yes.

Such a cute name. I love it. She's a golden girl. We love her. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast this week. I hope you enjoyed the extra episode. We'll be back next week. I am in North Dakota this week.

If you are near there, there's people up there, I think. I'm there on Saturday at a casino. But check my website. I don't know exactly the town new town north dakota is where i'm going new town north dakota hope you to see some of you there i don't know who's gonna be there i've never been to north dakota i've never performed in north dakota we'll see how it goes i can't wait um lots of tour dates available nicky glazer.com love you guys don't be good bye the nicky glaaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast.

Created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser. Co-hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Noah Avior. Edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production, Mark Canton. And music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser pod and subscribe to our channel.

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