The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #468 Where Did Fashion Bloggers Go? Nikki's Football Question & Sales Associates

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Who doesn’t love a good sleep-in day? But Nikki’s struggling with some serious guilt about it—how can she get over those feelings? While chilling at the park, Nikki watched a dad and his kid fly a kite and wondered why that’s the last thing she’d ever want to do. Brian found out about EJ and Julie’s river house and why it’s just not Nikki’s vibe. During her run, Nikki had a major lightbulb moment about an upcoming big interview. Brian's dying to know the details, but he’ll have to stay curious for now. Nikki has a question about Football that no one seems to know the answer to. She is on a new app to learn million dollar words. They chatted about Adam Sandler’s Love You and totally vibed with his comedy style. Nikki’s also wondering where all the fashion bloggers went and why it’s so hard to find cute, everyday wear. While returning some stuff and feeling a bit rough around the edges, Nikki tried to win over the sales associate. She and Brian agreed that shopping can be a struggle and finding the right balance with salespeople is a total balancing act. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Hello! Oh, sorry. Hello. I don't know why I did that. I was like expecting you to do it and then I was like, wait, you should be talking. It's like my brain just didn't. It's Labor Day still. It's fine. Can it still be Labor Day?

Does anyone else feel like it wasn't long enough? Yes. It was so nice. One more day. It was so nice. I slept in from, I got back from a gig on Sunday, went to bed at 11, woke up yesterday, 1235. Wow. It was awesome. I woke up around nine around nine you know and just was like no

not doing it chris was taking care of the dog he was already up i knew that was happening and um yeah it was just it was delightful did i feel guilty and feel like shit the rest of the day you know it you know it but i still loved it so much. I've just, I'm like in my sleep era right now. I feel like there's a lot of work coming up and I'm just hibernating, trying to like reserve, get all that, even though that's not how sleep works.

And we all know that. Um, just trying to rest anytime I can saying no to literally everything. Everything that's coming in besides things that I have to do and have committed to. That's a new thing. I'm loving that. Just knocked a post thing off the wall. Say no to that. It says put me back

up. Not gonna. Actually, I want to because it's like my OCD. And it's Velcro. It should go back up. Sorry, you guys. If you're not watching the YouTube version, I just knocked a llama off the wall. Nikki's gone off the chain now. She's off the rails. I mean, she's knocking over things.

I'm so off the rails. How did you guys enjoy your weekend? I waver between enjoying holidays and despising holidays depending on whether I'm trying to be productive or not. I remember if I'm trying to be productive and it's like I need to go to the post office or i need to go to the bank or i need people to like respond to an email and then i look and it's like memorial day yeah i'm like why the fuck do we have this day off even though obviously there's good reasons for it to be because you want to get shit done yeah but then there are times when it's like i just want to relax i just need a break and then i look at it and just like a random wednesday and

i'm like why do we have this to work today so it really is they should arrange the holidays around when i'm trying to be productive is my point yeah i i forget that things are closed and people but things aren't closed is the thing everyone's working everything's open everything's disgruntled about working on labor day our capitalist society has gone out of control. It's out of control. Working from home, we thought that because we're working from home, we're going to have to work less. No, that just means you're working 24-7. We all know that this is killing us, and the greed and the overachieving and trying to,

and the hustle culture and proving to everyone that we're doing things, the grind set, just proving to everyone that we're working so hard. Yeah. We all know that it's not good for you. Nikki, did you do your ice bath today? Exactly. You got to do your ice bath, 5 a.m. Even relaxing. That's something self-care, and that is hard.

An ice bath is hell. Self-care is's something self-care and that is hard like an ice bath is hell like self-care is now turning into work too now yeah you have to suffer and shiver in a shower my shock d-mat yeah you are you are trying to lay to for your overall health and well-being you lay on spikes yes i lay on spikes for 30 minutes before bed each day each night what happened to just sleeping until 1235 on a Sunday? This isn't the 90s anymore, Nikki. This isn't the stoner era. Remember when it was cool to be a slacker?

Yeah. Man. It used to be cool. Yeah, Noah? I have a new rule. I think it's like it came with age. Okay. Okay.

New rule is I don't like doing anything strenuous a day before work starts so like sundays for me i will not travel i will not do anything ambitious like a big hike or sightseeing or anything crazy like that like dinner party or anything like that sundays are just for doing nothing literal nothing getting ready for my work week. On the girls chat, I even went to the park to, I always go to the park with my dog. It's very easy. It makes me feel like I've done something. I throw the ball three times, she's worn out and then we leave. And it's near my house. It's

so easy. But it makes me feel so much like I've done something. It literally takes 15 minutes between when I leave the door and I enter back into my apartment. It's so easy. But I was at the park and I saw a guy flying a kite with his son and it inf infuriated me because i was like what's his problem why does anyone want to do that even though i loved flying kites as a kid and we would go up to de pair park all the time with my dad and fly kites and i was so grateful that he wanted to do that and was like so game for it and

um but i was just like i would never want to do that now and then it made me mad at myself like why can't i be someone who like wants to show a child the world and i had a dream i was pregnant this weekend and i kind of like liked being pregnant because i just was like haha everyone that thought i couldn't do it like it was just a me showing off that i could do i honestly number three three type what do you mean you want to be pregnant just to be just to get the applause just to be like yeah i can do it too or just like you know like and because i know it is such a physically exhausting and um a difficult thing to even achieve first of all and there's like some kind of like superiority that women who can conceive naturally feel um that is is wrong and i'm not perpetuating that but it's in our culture that feel like shame if you can't

conceive and so there's part of that of like i probably could conceive at 40 and a half years old and like so i think in my brain but then i don't i didn't want to do anything i just wanted to be pregnant and like show everyone but that was that was it and i got to do it in my dream and that was enough for me and i don't think it's some in dying uh like this like secret wish of mine to be a mother i don't think that was what was going on it was just like who't think it's some dying like this like secret wish of mine to be a mother. I don't think that was what was going on. It was just like who knows what it's about dreams. I'm so sorry I told you about a dream. I'm so so sorry.

I like broke my own rule. It was supposed to be just an aside. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and John Stamos was there and there was an alien telling me about time travel. Well that no that would never be one of my dreams because they don't look like cohesive things that are happening. It's just glimmers of something.

Whenever people recount their dreams to me, I go, that sounds too narrative to me to be a dream. But yeah, I mean, this weekend I flew to North Dakota on Saturday, which is so great because I had Friday to be at home in St. Louis. And I never am home in St. Louis on Friday. Did nothing on Friday night under the guise of like, I have to travel tomorrow early, even though I could have done something,

but I didn't felt guilty about that. Cause my family was like hanging out at my parents' cabin and I could have driven down, but I was like, I don't want it in Eureka, Missouri. It's like probably 45, 40 minute drive out, but I was like, I don't want to. In Eureka, Missouri. It's like probably a 40-minute drive out.

Your parents have a cabin? Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that. And how many times have I been there in 15 years? Twice. Oh. It was featured on

Welcome Home, Nikki Gleaser. Oh, yeah. So three times, I guess. I filmed an episode there, too. They've had a cabin for 15 years? Yeah, probably longer. Oh, my God. That's my dream.

It's been flooded. They've rebuilt it. No, it is really nice but i i have like an aversion to it because i just feel like i'm gonna be trapped down there well that's the problem i have to like cook things even though i've never been forced to cook i've never been forced to sit around a fight i don't know what my aversion is to it i I just need, I don't know. I got to really explore that. And I'm not going to, I've been thinking about it for years. I'm not,

I, I do want to get a house on a lake. I do want to do that. But this is on a river and you have to walk down the steep thing. And then my dad's going to be like, get that, get that rope. And then I just don't want to get that rope.

And I just don't want to like worry about the dogs falling in. And then we just like we just cruise on the river and then my dad points out like rookeries and different eagles and hawks like if you've seen one hawk you've seen them all even though i do get excited when i see hawks because they're beautiful birds but i just i don't know what stresses me out about it haven't been down there yeah i mean my aversion to nature and kites and doing things that are like just sitting and breathing and like listening to the to nature is hard that's why i started running again type seven i'm starting to run again because it's the only time that i can do an activity it's running in my pilates class

are the only times and this but not this because i'm talking that i am quiet and with my thoughts and yes i'm listening to music on a run but i don't really like think about the music so i'm alone with my thoughts during pilates and during and running and those are the only times but pilates wasn't giving it to me enough because i'm too focused on how hard it is it has to be like a medium level of hard and then your mind can wonder and i really got some things figured out running this weekend oh i really like i was had to stop and jot notes down i just like like what'd you what'd you come up with ideas big ideas for stuff like i have a this interview coming up where i'm interviewing a celebrity who's very um very very

very famous oh Oh, God. One of the most famous people on the planet. I'm going to guess right now. Well, I can't tell you. I don't think. We're not playing that game. Is it... Well, who's the most famous person?

Is it Barack Obama? It's... I mean, I would say this person's name is just as recognizable as Barack Obama's. Maybe even more. I know. Noah knows, right? Noah, you know, right?

Yes, I just had to show that off. Stop guessing. Stop guessing. But I'm doing an interview of a person who requested me to interview them. And so I've been studying

this person's... She requested you? Yeah. Wow. So this famous person said, I want Nikki Glaser to interview me. It's one of the coolest things

that's ever happened to me. That's amazing. No question. And I'm doing a free interview with this person. Oh my god, I can't believe Leonardo DiCaprio asked you. It's up there. It's there. Wow. I'm not joking you.

He, I have to lose, I think, 20 years to talk to him. But, um, I don't know how you do that, but somehow. But anyway, this i i had some like i needed to think i've been like putting off do you ever have something that's so big and like you're nervous about that you just don't work on it oh god yes well that happens with trips for me

what do you mean like if i have a big trip coming up and i'm like nervous about it because i don't want to go on it or whatever i just imagine it's not happening until the day I'm on the plane. Okay. But how do you pack? Well, I guess the night before. All right. You got me, Nikki. The night before, I'll pack.

You got it. That's what I do with trips, too. People are always like, where are you going to be next weekend? And I go, I don't know. This weekend is what I'm thinking about. Tomorrow. That's right. Stay in the present.

I don't want to look ahead. But this thing is something that I have to about tomorrow. That's right. Stay in the present. I don't want to look ahead, but this thing is something that I have to prepare for. So I went on a run not wanting to think about it, but then I started. I was listening to this person. I'm studying this person, so I was listening to something that they've made while I was running, and I was very inspired.

And I was like, oh, I think. You know, you always try to. I'm not a great interviewer. I've done it a ton, but it's not something that I've like, I really hone and work at. And that's not going to be expected of me for this because they're like they just pick me because i'm a person that they i don't know why they pick me but it's not i don't have to be a good interviewer but i do want to ask questions that are like interesting and but it's like why did you invade ukraine everything this person's been asked everything possible my friends are like you have to ask them about this and it's like some gossipy thing and i'm like anya goes you've got to ask about blah blah and just imagine it's like wait let's say it's i was interviewing taylor swift which is not taylor swift but it would literally be anya being like well you gotta ask her what happened with joe and i go do you understand that i would never ask her

what happened with joe even if we were best friends sitting around a fire late at night and we've had some cup glasses of wine even though i don't drink but she got me to because she's taylor swift and she'd give me to do anything i would never no matter no matter how close i got to this person the question on you was like you got it i was like are you fucking kidding me are we even having this conversation there's no way i'm asking that question um but it's you're so good at interviews i just want to let you know that as a person who has listened to you interview many many people your best quality is that you don't you're not doing an interview you're just having a conversation with people and you are so good at disarming them and just kind of like

getting the stuff that is very conversational which is what everybody wants to hear i feel very inspired by this person and that's a really good place to come from where you're like oh i'm this always happens to me when i prepare for something i become an intense fan um when i was maybe a casual fan before because you just you i read this person's book this weekend i I just got done reading their Wikipedia. You might roll your eyes at that. But try to read a very famous person's entire Wikipedia. It's 100 pages. It's so long.

And there's so many details. And there's so many dates and producers and things that you're just like, I don't need this. Well, yes, this person has worked with producers. But I'm just saying Wikipedia is dense with like i don't need this you know well yes this person has worked with producers but i'm just saying like wikipedia is dense with like information you don't mean um denzel oh my god do you think denzel washington would pick me this person is it's relevant that they picked me i will say that it has precedence but it's um um one of the most notable names on the planet is not chris but yeah so it's um it's very exciting but anyway i got some answers for that when i was running and i hate to be one of those people that's like i don't know running just like opens up my creativity

and because running does suck but i'm starting to think that it doesn't and i actually need it and i want to start meditating again i think that's really what I'm in search for. Yes. Because when I used to meditate, I would get answers to things. I would get ideas. I would get just big ideas of like, I should do a reality show. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, what would that look like? And then I just send off an email right in the middle of it.

And I'm like, I want to do a reality show. And then suddenly, it's like happening. Like, you just get these big ideas that sometimes maybe you don't want to... Sometimes you have a big idea and then you start it. Everyone can relate to starting a project and then being in the middle of it and being like,

I don't want to really do my own backsplash. I should have hired someone for this. And you're in the middle of gluing all these tiles together and you're like, what is this? But you still have to finish it because you can't just have no backsplash.

I mean, you can. It's not like there's nothing there. I think you could survive for a normal lifespan without a backsplash. Man, when I learned the word backsplash, I really got literal with it because it made me feel cool that I knew something about home design. Sconce, backsplash.

There you go. I asked Chris what the what the edge around doors are. What's that called? Molding. Molding. Why? Why can't we call it

the edging? Like why why is it to be why is a sconce why can't be a light fixture that's on the wall? Like why does it have to have a name that's confusing

and alienating? Oh, can I ask a football question? Of course. That no one's been able to answer for me i'll answer it okay so sorry if we talked about this on the podcast before please just interrupt me if we have in football to get a first down to get a down okay you get four chances that's right what are those chances called downs why is the goal also the name of the steps it takes to get the goal that doesn't make sense

to me so in any other in any other thing is the goal the name of the goal also the steps it like did i i don't even know how to the rungs of a ladder are not called ladders do you know what i mean you want your goal is to get a first down right so it's for okay so your goal is to get a first down but then people go it's first down so did they get it or is it the first chance to get a first down why are they both the same i think you have to consider it like there's many first downs on a field it's every 10 yards is a first down okay okay but this isn't the issue to get a first down you have four chances to do it and those are called downs why is the thing you're trying to

get also called the the steps to get it is also the thing no what is this making any sense to you what's what's clicking in my head while b Brian thinks of the answer is that you are basically answering the question that you had before this, which is why do we call it a sconce? Because there are many light fixtures, but a sconce is very specific. So that's why we have sconce. Also, sconce is fun to say. But why would they name the thing that I don't know is to get a first down? And then you can literally say it's first down and we're trying to get to first down. Well, then didn't we get it?

If it's first down, like for someone learning football, it's very confusing when you hear we're trying to get a first down and it's first down to get that first down. That is what I can see. Yeah, I can see that. How could that not be so confusing? Why is everyone not confused by this? I'm really confused. Do you get confused by the concept of laps?

Like you have to run laps, and every time you go around, it's another lap. So it's circular in a way. I know, but four laps equal a mile. It doesn't equal a lap. It's not first lap, second lap, second lap third lap fourth lap and then you get first lap it's a one mile after four laps do you know what i'm saying is this i do because anytime i talk i talked to chris about this i think i talked to sean o'connor about this they don't even seem as frustrated as i am with this this has never this has never occurred to anyone how

has this not occurred to anyone else the name of the steps to get the thing is the thing the name of this yeah it's difficult for me to get frustrated because it's hard to even understand what you're saying but when you first how is it hard well it's hard for me to understand uh the frustration behind it so i need to come up with an analogy that's my goal is to come up with an analogy outside of football where the same thing happens that we've accepted. But, okay, when I tell you, hey, so we're trying to get a first down here, and it's first down. That makes sense to you, right? That is

a sentence. I mean, no one would say that, but everyone knows first down is... It's like, I'm trying to earn $1,000, but I already have $1,000. Yes. You can get another $1,000. You can get another $1,000. You can get many first downs. I understand you can get many first downs.

I'm talking about the chances that you have to get a first down are called downs. That's right. So it's second down to get a first down. It's third down to get a first down. So why are the chances to get it called the thing? i hope anyone listening understands what the fuck i'm talking about because to someone who's learned it's almost like when you learn a language late in life there are things about the english language that are totally confusing like though and rough being the same like though o-g-u-o-u-g-h can be uh off or oh and it's like why and i think that's kind of a

similar thing i'm going by which is like i would never have noticed the though and rough being different unless i was learning the language and i'm learning the language of football and i'm confounded by it yeah no i can i see your what you're saying and why is a safety a position but it's also a call please why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway no i really need an answer here is there is there is there a um correlation between a the safety position and the safety play are those two related at all or do they just happen to have the same name they happen to have the same name why what i guess you could they ran well this was you have to remember nikki that football was invented in the 1920s or whatever yeah where we had less words

there were less words back then and you know what the the dictionary was only three pages and it didn't even go to z but it's's a confusing game already. Why double up on words of meanings? No, I get it. Yeah, safety is a position because they are the last person that can stop you from getting a touchdown. They're the last line of defense. And then getting a safety

is the worst possible thing that could happen to the offense. Is it embarrassing? It's embarrassing. So it's like kind of, and generally when a safety happens, it is embarrassing. Yeah, I get that vibe. Every time people talk about it. You're backed up against your own end zone. You know, they're going to try to sack you in your own end zone, which is already embarrassing.

It's like you got attacked in your own home. Yeah, but usually, even when you're just own end zone, which is already embarrassing. It's like you got attacked in your own home. Yeah, but usually, even when you're just watching it happen, what the quarterback does to avoid the safety is generally goofy and dumb looking. Sometimes they'll go back and they'll step out of their own end zone backwards. Sometimes

they'll be flailing around and stumble and they'll try to throw the ball haplessly across the line of scrimmage, but it'll look stupid and then they get a penalty and then it's a safety anyway. Or they'll just try to run forward and get smashed and they're a quarterback and they're not a Russian quarterback, so they look like a doofus.

It really is one of the most embarrassing plays to fall victim to is a safety. Okay, I'm slowly figuring it out, but I learned nothing from this conversation except i'm a little bit more i'm now i'm just getting frustrated that other people don't understand what i'm going through and if you do besties someone write to me if you're confused by the

down thing too or if you have an answer for it i'm sure there's some person that will be like well a down was named after something um i just want to know why we have to use the same word for two different things within the same concept um and then we're gonna go to break i'm gonna tell you a new word i learned this weekend that i am proud i learned because i've i'm trying to learn new vocabulary and i i got rid of that old app and i got a new app i'll tell you about it all right 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can

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You can learn about how a Michelin star chef is redesigning seeds for flavor and how Pixar is nurturing a creative culture. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, I'm back. Okay, so we talked about that app i downloaded last week elevate and it just wasn't doing it for me um because it was repeating games and i learned a little bit but

not enough and so i went on a quest to find like a really good new vocab app and i recommend atlas english so it'll it'll give you groups of five words and i will say you probably know it'll test your your level of vocab at first and you're going to be like oh my god this is so stupid but then it gets hard and you're like oh my god wait i'm so stupid and then it places you and then it gives you groups of words that you probably know probably three out of the five and then you do all these games where you like fill in the blanks and you you like go over the definition in many different ways and then you still might not remember the word because like for me i'm just trying to memorize new words work them into my vocabulary and this one the other day i could not get even though i played like six games with it

where it was mixed in with other words and I was trying to fill in the blank. Inculpate. Did I get it right? Hold on. It sends me it every day. So yes. Inculpate. I N C U L P A T to accuse or blame. It was not landing. It is now,

you know, it is now in my head. Sometimes in words you have other words and it's like culprit. I just saw the word culprit in there that's good inculpate to blame someone but it was not sticking and i was like damn it no matter how many games i play in this stupid app it's not gonna stick and i kept trying to like remember it to chris and i would just go get a drink of water and then i would return and be like can i remember it no it's gone so then i realized though this is right after i downloaded the app and played

the game i was like damn it it's not working but then i kind of bookmark after I downloaded the app and played the game. I was like, damn it, it's not working. But then I kind of bookmarked it in the app to be like, I need this. I don't know even how I did it. It just said like save words. And so now it just shows me throughout the day. It'll just pull up inculpate. It'll just send me a little like text like boop at the top of my thing. Inculpate to accuse or blame.

And I swear it's incepted me now. And now I've learned that word i also learned mendacious or mendacity which is a lot like to to something that lies a lot if they're mendacious and then i also learned wow i didn't know that uh mendacious is an sat word i thought i knew what it meant and i guess i don't yeah it's i think it's to someone who lies a lot yeah Yeah. If you're mendacious. And then I, the other word, oh my God, please let me,

it's to castigate. Ha. Castigate is to like, uh, not accuse or blame. Castigate is to like punish. I think, man, did I get it right?

Castigate. Someone look it up. That's the other word I learned. So I learned. Yeah. It's a reprimand severely. Yeah. I'm going to castigate you.

So I'm going to, I learned new words this weekend that are locked in. They're for the rest of my life almost. And you can do that too. If that's of interest to anyone. I don't know if anyone cares about this shit, but stuff like that matters to me. So wait, all you did to get those locked in was focus on just those three? Yeah. Well, I bookmarkeded them i played all the games

that they had they're kind of boring games so they're like you know you have to put them in in a blank and like you get five words and so those five words become game you do gameplay with those five words it gives you the definition you review them and then it gives you sentences and it was a blank and then you have to put the five words and put them in then it's like it does it does a bunch of different games and you and you think those games help but sometimes you need extra and then getting those alerts all day i'm like it has been my goal inculpate i don't like the word it no it's hard to say it it doesn't sound good it sounds like i'm trying to sound too smart um i don't know that i'll use it but at least

it's there for me if i want to inculpate someone. It sounds like a word that you would use in a writing. I'm not going to inculpate you for trying to use it. Thank you. It sounds like a word you could use if you're ever doing some kind of written interview or just kind of more for writing. Inculpate doesn't sound like a word that you could slip into conversation and not be considered a tweet. People are going to go, what did you just say? Excuse me? Oh, I guess you're

Miss Smarty Pants. It's honestly if I ever meet Sam Harris. I'll try to talk about something. It's literally that. I don't mean to castigate you, but I feel inculpated in this. Yeah. These are words he would use for sure. I have a word that you

can use in any situation that makes you sound cool and smart yeah it is mercurial dude that is so weird you said it i read it in a book to like last week i've read this book the color of everything he said it in that i looked it up because i've heard it i've used it twice in one week yeah and not called it out and just slipped it in. Because it's a great word. Great. It makes sense logically. It's someone whose moody goes up and down like you can't predict their mood.

Yep. That's a word that- I love it. It encapsulates a concept that people can easily understand that we don't have a word for. Yeah. Yeah. And also it's kind of cool because it's based on mercury the planet and the god which then people can like logically understand even if they don't know the definition of the

word they can infer oh mercury that sounds like fire at least so i was thinking of a thermometer so crazy yeah and that's a good way to remember it could be that as well no coming in with the alternate that's crazy that you said that brian because i literally used that word on girls chat no you could probably find the girl like i used it on girls chat and i felt like did i just use that correctly i think i did i can't believe i did it um it is very exciting to learn a new word i will say that um i was watching i was binging sarah silverman when i was in north dakota because i couldn't sleep and i just went down a wormhole on her and my god is she's so funny and she's i've like you know just haven't paid attention i guess in the past 10 years as much as i used to like i used to be taylor swift levels of obsessed with sarah silverman yeah like

i had posters i had you know i would buy books that she said in interviews she liked like i was obsessed with her in college to a pretty um insane degree and um concerning degree and then i kind of just like like i don't know i stopped paying attention maybe i was just like i don't want to be influenced anymore because i was sounding so much like her early on in my career whatever it was i but i went on youtube wormhole the other day and i was up till like three in the morning just watching clips of hers she is so fucking funny dude i was she did this one joke where she was talking about um her dog like licking up like uh like licking her after her and her boyfriend had sex like post coitus and she said he was

licking the deteriorate deteriorate wow what is it called it's like detrius or something it's a word for like the leftover gunk like the i forget the word for it but she uses this crazy big word and she was like i use that because i'm talking about cum and i wanted to make it sound more palatable like the detrius or something she was like he was looking detritus she used that word and i like that yeah so she used that to uplift the whole joke that was really just like her dog licking up cum and then she had a point that i have also made before which is like the dog wants to have that. Like, you would say that's animal abuse.

She stopped the dog. She's like, no, no, no. But she made the point of like, the dog actually does want that very badly and would not be disgusted by it. And it would be a treat for the dog. But you can't let the dog do that. But it does want it. My dog's been licking up piss all over town. And I have to keep stopping him.

Because is human piss? Yeah, human. No, probably dog piss. I mean, I can't assume what kind of piss it is. Is that a new trait that their dog has picked up? She's picked up? He? He, Jack.

Yeah, Jack. He's licking up piss all the time. I don't know if it's new, but I'm kind of noticing it more. And over the last year or so, I've been trying to train him to not do it anymore right well because that's then you you want him to lick your face too we're not going to give that up no i mean i don't actually i don't let him lick my face but really your skin is so good he'll lick my hand uh that's cute yeah or something but like no yeah i think it's just more Like I'm worried about Like parasites I'm just like

I don't want him to get A disease From looking piss I remember hearing If your dog sniffs poop That has worms in it They can sniff up the worms In their nose

And so whenever my dog's Sniffing poop I'm like get away Like way too Because I just picture worms Being like Like snorting worms It's just so horrible

The worms And I can't handle it Oh god No I can't handle it oh god i can't handle it either no okay no no no i do have something speaking of sarah silverman um did you see adam sandler's netflix special that came out i saw the first 35 minutes of it because we got tired um it was way too late at night for us to start it but um i was enjoying myself it's a wild ride i like don't understand even what i'm watching sometimes even though i will say all the songs and all the jokes

are so fucking funny and like it was almost getting frustrating because i i'm so jealous of how his mind works in terms of like creativity like it's just a different mind than mine comedically and i really wish i was a little bit more free shackles of structure free of any like logic yeah or reason and then the voices are so funny and you just get lost in the storytelling is crazy and and and you don't know whether he's telling the truth sometimes and then the story will take a turn that is just so insane but it still works and it's like such a risks to take that and then it pays off it's just it really is incredible i can't wait to finish it uh tell me your thoughts and it works because it also works because it's adam sandler when he when he starts a story you have this you know who

he is you already like him you have his whole backstory you imagine he's telling the truth and then he can undercut you whereas i think if a new comedian came out and started telling like fantastical stories of a similar manner, it probably wouldn't work as well. I don't know. I disagree. I think this is why Adam Sandler ever worked. Actually, now that you say that, I have an example already that popped in my head that it did work. Who?

This comedian from Boston named Brian Higginbottom who sadly, tragically died. He was blowing up on TikTok. He's this comedian from Boston who everyone liked and around 2022 or 3 or something, he just started blowing up on TikTok purely by posting clips from the one

10-minute set that he had recorded. It was like the only material he had recorded that he like put on the internet and just those 10 clips like sort of he started blowing up he started getting hundreds of thousands of followers okay and um and like i felt like you know wow this guy's i was very focused on it because it's like it's another brian and this is my he's like funnier than me and uh was that part of it i can see myself being like, there's another Nikki and being like, what's going on here? There's only room for one of us

in this town. Yeah, well, there's already Brian Regan, so I'm fucked. This guy was funnier than me and he was blowing up on TikTok and I was like, this guy is going to ascend in a similar way that Scott Seiss ascended after his Instagram videos. Is he the guy that

works in retail? Yeah, exactly. like scott seiss ascended after he his instagram videos is he the guy that goes the the he works in retail yeah exactly um i felt like the same thing was going to happen to brian higginbottom and um unfortunately i think he you know i i don't know how he died but i think it was what you would imagine well he was just about to blow up but i'm sorry he had a this part of his bit was talking about his son that he didn't have and he kept just like exaggerating these aspects of of his son saying like he's like 10 foot tall he's got one eye and one tooth and he's teaching him how to shoot a bow and arrow and he tries to um incite the audience to take this kid down because he's a menace to society and like that's the type of exaggeration that adam sandler might do and it worked for brian higginbottom an unknown

comedian so i rescind my previous statement is the point okay i i do think that adam could get this is what built adam sandler is like the the voices and like the just silly the silliness yeah um and just being free to be silly and just um and seeming just like a good dude throughout it all, even though he has a joke where his dad's penis pokes him in the eye. There's some crazy stuff in this. He goes down on a balloon. It's just so it's so you guys, it's so weird. But what were you going to say? Did you?

Well, so I appreciate it. The song is really good. Well, the song at the end. Yeah, it's really it's a heartfelt song at the end. And as a person in comedy, it's doubly sad and touching. But what stuck out to me for the special was the direction, the directing and the... Oh, yeah. The Safdie brothers.

Yeah. And just the way that he approached the special to make it like, you know, he's an arena comedian. He's selling out arenas, and he chose to shoot, like, a staged special in a shithole where a bunch of things went wrong. A lot of things went wrong, but don't you think that they went wrong on purpose? Yes, no, it was all staged. Okay, good. The place is made up. on purpose yes no it's all staged okay good anyone who's thinking that the screens like i read a review of it and they're like we don't know if the screens really didn't work or if that was

staged or if there really was a fight in the audience or if that was staged and it's like every single or if he didn't i i got confused there was one part where um he has a coffee and he's like is there is this stevia and they're like yeah and he's like yeah and then he's like no that's splenda and he and i go oh that's real and chris is like no it's not none of it was real this is all set up and it's the fact that his windshield's broken at the beginning and the guy didn't fix it like pay but there's i'm waiting for any of this to pay off like the screen's not working paying off i'm thinking it's just like embedded in it to create um i don't i don't know the purpose of it yet i mean well it's ironic because he's adam sandler he's one of the biggest stars in the world and he's okay in a shit hall

where they can't get the screens to work but then also it's it's comedic trolling for anybody who thinks that it's real and also it's just it's just comedy in general it's just like isn't it funny the whole thing also just from the start to the finish i appreciated because it felt like not a stand-up special it felt like i was watching a movie of somebody trying to film a stand-up yes exactly which i really like totally i thought that was good too and i liked all the things like it kind of showed uh what his life is like in terms of the demand of someone like being like can you facetime with my son he's he's been a scooter accident okay can you sign all these jerseys it's for an ms charity can you do like all the asks he's getting before he goes on stage which i'm guessing come from such a real place but um i just i i just

love his songs and his his and the comedy is good too, on top of all that. It's so good. All of it's so good. He's so cute. He's so great. He's so likable. Fun fact. Yeah?

This is maybe a Nikki Glaser podcast exclusive fact as I drop the microphone embarrassingly. I was basically just at a safety of podcast. There we go. so adam sandler filmed that special at the nocturne theater in glendale california okay really close to la yeah and um there's only been one other comedy special filmed at the nocturne theater in glendale at the time. I'm surprised there's been another one. Yeah, there's another one. And that was Adam Conover's stand-up special, which is coming out on Dropout TV this month. What is Dropout TV?

Dropout TV is what College Humor has become. It's a subscription service online that has bespoke content for pretty much nerds. But it's extremely popular and successful and has found an incredible niche. It's really quite remarkable how the College Humor guy, I forgot his name. Ricky. Yeah, Ricky Velez. He's a comedian. He was Van Veen. Sam Reich. I don't know. Who cares? Okay.

Well, anyway, it's amazing how after college humor ended, he still managed to create a brand new thing that is now almost just as successful as college humor and drop out TV. Okay. We'll look for it. But the point is, two specials filmed at the Nocturne Theater, both by comedians named Adam. Oh, wow. We're on this first name thing again.

Yeah. Are there any other Nicky comedians named adam oh wow we're on this first name thing again yeah are there any other nicky comedians well your biggest competition in my mind your biggest competition in my mind is nicky haley yeah who spells her name the same way and is going a totally different direction it's so interesting to try to be a president yeah when your name is nicky i know i always knew that was never in the cards for me not just because i'm a woman but also because or i felt it wasn't in the cards because i was a woman but also nikki is just not a serious person no offense yeah yeah yeah but it's just like it's just not my mom that my parents gave me the name nicole on my birth certificate in case i wanted to be a serious person.

That's what they said. In case when you wanted to be a professional. And I never needed it. But it is there. And I've never been called it in my life. But people are always surprised that that is my name. But who puts Nikki on a birth certificate? It would be the same thing with Bernie.

Like Bernie Sanders. That's not a serious name either. Oh, you're right. That's not a serious name either. You'd have to change it to Bernard. I never even thought about that. Yeah. So I can't stop buying Taylor Swift merch. It's honestly become a problem. I don't, every single day I make a new purchase.

There's too much of it. It's actually, I bought three new sweatshirts and a t-shirt this morning i got a package last night that chris was cracking up because it's just a bunch of random crap that i kind of some of it i already own um it's i don't i don't know what's happening why i need all this stuff and i don't even like wear it all that often and when i do i because i do want to connect with other swifties and that's why i wear it i think but i don't even like wear it all that often and when i do i because i do want to connect with other swifties and that's why i wear it i think but i don't really get to connect with others no one ever talks to me about it so i kind of feel just like dumb i feel like a real safety in it

sometimes because i just feel like uh i want to connect people aren't connecting with it um i am also feeling like shopping is like bringing me is i'm using it as a crutch sometimes online shopping getting packages getting new things so rewarding you just get that little hit of dopamine oh my god i when i you're addicted to shopping when it's apple pay it's so easy every day i buy a new thing because there's a new sale going on. Yesterday, Emily, my social media girl who I talked about last week, she was like,

girl, there is a sale on Abercrombie 20% off all NFL merch. You need to get Chiefs stuff. This stuff is so cute. She sent me like four screenshots.

I was like, just send me the links. I need this stuff. I bought a Chiefs jacket. I bought a Chiefs sweatshirt. Two Chiefs sweatshirt, a Chiefs t-shirt. All men's. Don't really know if I got the right sizing.

But that counts as Taylor Swift merchandise too, by the way. This is not... This is what it is. That's all I buy now. I really don't know... There's really no guide on how to fucking dress as a professional woman in this world. Try to send me... and i've asked for this

before there's no one telling you how to shop anymore and some besties sent me like page de sorbo's amazon account which was helpful except everything sold out and she hasn't updated in forever and i will wear anything page de sorbo wears because she's the cutest even though it won't look that cute on me but show me a blog where girls put together an outfit and you can just buy everything on the outfit show me one just give me one that's the future around a lot like no it wasn't it was the past this was like 2013 i remember following cute girls blogs blog spots and you would go and you would click on the picture and there would be all the links to the things that they bought now i i don't know where to go like when you type in like cute fall like what sneakers are people wearing this fall or like what kind of boot style is in this fall you get

all different i don't know what i don't know what type of shoe to wear shoes are confounding to me girls i don't know what because sometimes a style will go out so quickly and be so bad looking to people who know fashion and i'm so embarrassed to wear it and sometimes i ask my friend saralina because she just has natural good style that like shifts with the culture and she doesn't have to try and so i'll be like do you think these are cute and she's too nice to be like no so i don't even ask her anymore because i just know she'll be nice but like and i don't want to bother her to be like will you find the right shoe for this dress but i don't know what i know you're like get a stylist i do have stylists they're very expensive and i love them so much and they're good for like a outfit here

and there when i'm going to an event where i need to look head to toe amazing but i can't afford them on a day-to-day basis i don't know what you're supposed to do noah like i go to free people which is like oh they have a lot of cute shit i'm overwhelmed i don't know how to put it together me too i have the app and i just spend so waste so much time scrolling through i have the same shoe problem i don't know what shoes to wear i don't know what shoes to wear i don't know if it's cute to have a chunky heel i don't know if it's cute to have big big straps i don't know if it's bad to have your feet out i don't know if it's cute to have a chunky heel i don't know if it's cute to have big big straps i don't know if it's bad to have your feet out i don't know if it's good to have like i don't know what to wear and i don't see anyone trying to help us and i am not blunt no one's

trying to help us and so that's why i buy taylor swift merch because it i feel in some way it's been approved by taylor swift thus it must be cool even though she doesn't wear her own merch which is fine I still feel like she's approved it so I will wear it that's why Taylor Swift styled whenever they say what she wore I buy it because it's already approved by someone but I don't know who to trust you can't go to shopbop.com

and be like what are the best sellers they're lying to you when it's best sellers and also I don't even know who's buying from shopbop it could be girls without good style I don't know what best seller i can't trust isn't this what influencers are like i feel like every time i see an influencer they're always saying they're always like showing a picture of their clothes and then saying where they got them from no these girls i'm not kidding you i'm i'm sorry alex borenstein not the girl who does the lowest voice on family guy but there's another girl that has a similar name cutest style going i am obsessed with her sorry i haven't learned her name it's something

like that but you know how you know someone very well but you've never like read their name does that make any sense to anyone yes and like really put it in your head it's so embarrassing it happens to me all the time but she has a great style but i will click and be like what where is this from and i like can't find it like they'll just do the the link to like the the it's always chanel or gucci or something and i'm not buying that shit like i want to know what to get at zara just but i also feel bad about that i don't know i just don't know what to wear and that's i think that's the root of why I'm buying Taylor Swift merch is because I feel in some way it's been approved by someone whose style I like. Yeah. And it really hasn't.

It's just a safe thing for me to buy. In the future, in the near future, you're going to be watching TV, Amazon especially. You're going to be seeing someone wearing something on a TV show and then you can just click on that thing they're wearing and you'll be able to buy it from your TV. Why isn't that here yet? That technology was promised to us, I feel like, flying cars

many years ago. Amazon's going to do it first, I guarantee. I'm obsessed with biker shorts and t-shirts now. I look like a scrub everywhere i go i'm disappointing to the masses who have any kind of like i went to a store the other day and i looked so disgusting that and i was returning clothes which is never i'm gonna tell the story when i get back from break because it's kind of funny. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's

going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize

your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning.

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You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. So I went to a store the other day to return some items, which I never do.

I was so proud of myself, but I'm also nervous because whenever whenever i return items i always feel like i'm breaking the law somehow like i've somehow like like i'm not a person who wears things and then returns them even though i know that's a thing so i think they think i'm doing that which is totally gross to do with the kind of athleisure wear that i was returning but i walked in the store and i was wearing a grubby taylor swift shirt not because it's grubby inherently it was grubby because i everything i wash and dry goes to shit for some reason like things just look grubby that i own because i'm stained i'm a stained person and so um call back to a million episodes ago but and then i was wearing biker shorts that had like dog hair on them i just looked like and i this is the day i woke up at 12 35 this was yesterday yeah and so i walked out i walked to this place with my dog and i have a baseball cap on i just

look not good i know it my face is puffy everything's disheveled and i'm returning these items which by the way it wasn't in the bag from the place they went to like like i'm returning them to so it's like the items are in a different bag you know how like it just it's that doesn't make you feel good i always feel like a criminal when i'm doing that like i always like to find the bag it wasn't like a grocery store bag it wasn't like a ralph's was it no that would make you seem really random tote they never take the bag, though. When I try to return it with the bag, I want them to reuse it

and they just always give it back to me. No, they don't. They'll just throw it away. But it does make you look legitimate. Like, oh, she's been here before. She shops here. She didn't just get these on the street. Or she was here recently enough that she still has the bag. Therefore, she can return it.

It just makes you feel like you belong and that you're not doing anything shifty even though i wasn't even though i did try on the shirt and these the tags of this place are safety pinned on so i took it off because i thought the shirt was a hundred percent gonna fit and it a hundred percent it like 200 did not fit it was like three sizes too small so i immediately put the tag back on but i didn't know where the tag was safety pinned on it so i disclosed that i said hey i tried this on once i took the safety pin tag off i put it back on it's not in the right spot you're gonna have to put it back in the right spot she didn't care um she didn't even like i thought maybe she was like listening to headphones or something you know when you talk to someone and they don't reply and you

go oh headphones at least that's what i hope people do for me when i don't reply to them because that is the case but she didn't say anything she wasn't listening to headphones she just heard me i guess but didn't care to respond to that and she's kind of like sorting through these clothes and a couple of them have little like two pieces of dog hair on it i see it in the light i'm like oh my god this looks so gross even though i literally tried it on and like took it right off and i checked for deodorant stains like it was clear but it maybe had two pieces of dog hair but i just felt grubby like oh my god i'm such a bad person i felt bad and then i even like was trying to light the mood and i was like oh my god i literally thought i was two sizes smaller than i was when i bought

these blindly the other day and still nothing and i go oh god you know i um this girl hates me i hate myself, honestly. And I hope she rejects this. And she goes, do you have the receipt? And I was like, yeah, I have it emailed. Hold on one second. So I'm looking up the receipt. She's like, I'll just get your number.

And at this moment, I had the thought that I hope she knows who I am. I've never had that thought. I literally don't have that thought. Maybe once or twice I've been like, oh, so I can get a good table or something, or they can make it work for us to get a table at a place. I've been like, I hope I get recognized, but it's never really on the front.

It doesn't occur to me. But in this moment, I was like, I want her to know I'm not a scrub. You know, like I just, and that's a quick way to know. And so I give her my number and she goes, oh my God, I love you. Oh my God, why are you here? What are you doing here?

And I was like, I live here. And she was like, wait, but aren't you on tour? And she was like, she like knew a lot about me. And then suddenly she got very nice and was totally understanding of it. Interesting. But listen, I would have done the same thing. I mean, sometimes at work, you're just like not in the mood for shit. And you're just trying to get your job done.

And it's Labor Day and you're working and working for some company that doesn't give a shit about her that's for sure yeah for for sure so i didn't even begrudge her she wasn't didn't have like an attitude before she just wasn't like she was just doing her job yeah um and then she totally lit up and was so nice and um i felt i felt that uh that little like julia roberts pretty woman moment of like big mistake huge like oh now but instead it was just me returning things so like it's not like you could have made a lot of money off of me i'm like wow you just lost money and it was it was a huge mistake because i could have walked out of here and not return these things like what was i trying to prove but it felt good in that moment too and then i go i'm sorry i look like shit and

she was like no you look amazing and that was a lie but that was so nice of her too um but that was that was like all you returning three items and getting 221 back on some kind of card is a great feeling it felt like i had earned that money by not keeping those clothes yeah is that a way to make you feel like you earn money is just to buy things and then return them well yeah because especially if you're a person who'll just throw it out or donate it and then it is all and then it is like you already you spent the money so if you put in the effort because you did do work i did get the money back oh i only bought the items let me be honest with you because i went i was bored this place is near where i live i walked in i

didn't want to buy anything i didn't even like anything but i just felt like the the shop person was like just kind of i thought again like this shop person thinks i'm grubby and thinks i don't have money and i want to just prove that i am like an actual person that like even though the person was very helpful and was like can i get you a size in that like i could just tell that i wanted to make it worth their while that they went and got a size even though i didn't even want a size in it and so i i was i was literally pressured into buying the thing, which, and that's why I go like, oh my God, this is why I like online shopping. No one's being like, that looks cute on you.

Do you want a size in that? What's going on? Thank you so much to people who work in retail. I know it is a thankless and awful job because you like clean up after people and you really realize how like shitty human beings are. But I don't ever need any help ever in a retail store i don't think i've ever and i'm maybe not like a lot of people because i'm you know i have lots of friends who are like

like to try on things and like oh they're excited to have someone go i'll start a room for you i've never wanted anyone to start a room for me i don't i will buy the items try them on at home yeah i'm the one time oh if they tell you something looks cute i rarely ever go into a store to buy clothes but one time in my memory i went to bonobos you know bonobos oh yeah i went to they are very customer service heavy yeah they give you like they're like do you want a beer and i'm like what yeah yeah um and i'm trying on these shorts and i remember i was trying and i was with someone who i barely know um and i tried on these salmon shorts that were like oh that's really high and i was like wait is this me can i actually wear these and everyone around me was like oh

those are amazing they're so good and so i bought these salmon shorts. And the first time I was wearing them, I was like, I feel like a freak. I would never wear high, high salmon shorts ever. And this was a huge mistake. And so I was like, so how could I trust the retail person who's telling me that it looks so amazing when they were that wrong? Like so colossal. I do like when they go, Oh, I get to the front counter and I'm buying something.

She goes, Oh, I love this. Oh my God. I'm getting, I got one of these too. I got this in like every color. I kind of feel validated and that will make me maybe keep it more.

Um, because I think it's like a hot item. She's like, Oh my God, we were almost out of these or something, you know, like you create a need. Yeah.

Overall, I really, I don't want to talk to anyone in a store and i'm really sorry to everyone who works in stores and that's like your fucking job and like if you don't do it you get reprimanded by management like you can't not ask me if i want to start a room but i don't ever want to start a room i always want to try everything at home i've said this before i do think it's a trick um that they have bad lighting in those stores because it discourages you from trying it on in stores. Like a little room where you can't even get far enough away from the mirror that you feel good about your body.

You're right up close next to it. I can't. Noah, do you shop at stores ever? Yes, I do. And because I live in a very small area, I always go to the same stores. And there's one store in particular that I love going to. And there's this sales associate, and she's really, really sweet. Very nice. Does the same thing. Can I help you find something? No, I'm good. Thank you. And then I'll be looking at something. She'll be like,

oh, that would be cute on you. Can I start a fitting room? All that, right? And then, of course because i played into and i talked to her now every time i go there she has this conversation she looks me so like deeply in the eyes and i'm like you can never go there again oh yeah yeah and it's like every time i go there i love the store but every time i go there it's like okay hopefully she's not working today so i could just get things done god i know because that's the other thing is when you touch an item and then they're right behind you and they fix it. Oh, my God.

Like, you've unfolded an item. Brutal. And then I try to fold it back and I almost make it look perfect and then they fix it after me. Like, I can't. I want to. I just want to leave. Although, let me just, like, completely negate everything I just said. Are you ready

yeah yesterday i was shopping for like new yoga pants or something final thought and you were like first down does make sense no it still doesn't and never will and i'm honestly pissed off that no one goes nikki that's actually an interesting question that's all i want is people to go that actually is weird that they name the steps to the thing the same thing as the thing i refuse i refuse to you like calling a ladder a rung when each of the rungs are called rungs that's what it is yeah yeah like like i like okay i want to get up to that tree okay so you're going to do first tree then second tree then third tree and then you're going to get up to the tree what what excuse me i'm sorry you're gonna get up to first tree again first tree again and then you're gonna

start over and then we're gonna start at first tree again and then yeah it's it's nuts until you get to first and bush this this takes me this is completely the other side of the coin but chris and i were talking about i was like lamenting about um i was trying to buy some athleisure and i'm like god should i try this brand he goes why don't you have you ever tried aloe and i said chris chris that's very interesting i will never buy clothing from aloe ever intentionally i mean if they gift me something after this speech i will but um and i'm saying this as a white woman who has never really felt this way before in my life and i just want to make that very clear that i'm talking from a place of like i felt like i was ignored

and treated as less than and and it's probably me uh appropriating something in some way i don't even know let me just scratch that. Not you can leave it in, but scratch it, you know, from your memories that you just heard it. You get what I'm saying. I went to an aloe yoga in Beverly Hills and I was dressed a little scrubby, but that's fine. And no one talked to me and I was and no one was talking to me. And I saw them talking to other people asking for help. And I was like, oh, God, when is this going to happen?

I don't want it to happen no one then I was like let me just see how long I can stay here and see if anyone asks if I want help for anything because it seems to be happening all over the place for these girls with rocking bods and like I don't have a horrible bod but at this point I was not like fit and I looked a little scrubby like maybe I couldn't afford stuff in there or something or just like not cool enough to wear it no one helped me and i was in there for like 20 minutes trying like just kind of looking around giving off the vibe of i need help and i got i go that really was shitty and i didn't like how i felt in there and i'm sure that's how a lot of people feel um going places because of other things they can't control about themselves i don't

know what it was maybe i had on a cloak of invisibility that day which was like a dirty taylor swift sweatshirt or something and they're like she can't possibly afford aloe yoga even though it's not that expensive and then but that's not it then i went to another one months later even though i was like i didn't like that experience went to another one same thing happened no one helped me and they were helping everyone else so i refused to ever buy from them again because i felt like somehow like every girl in there just like thought i was like so gross like she doesn't deserve to wear our clothes and i want to also say this about like retail and i was talking to the girls chat about this but like why is it that when you walk into a place to buy clothes and it's like um let's just say like artesia or like um uh i guess like an aloe yoga or i'm trying to think of like not even not zara but like a place that's like

maybe even anthropology i don't know if it's anthro, but like coach. Yeah. Lululemon. Not even Nordstrom because they're so friendly. But why is it that I think they're cooler than me? And I think they're kind of mean girling me. And I desperately want to win over their approval. And I feel like I have to buy things in order to convince them that I deserve to shop there i know this is my own insecurity and i should just not care what

people think easier said than done but i really look at the root of it and i'm like there's no i'm throwing no shade because i think retail is a great profession and one that's really difficult and one that i would i was always scared to do because i just didn't feel like i was cool enough to do it like even in high school or college like just didn't feel like I was cool enough to do it. Like even in high school or college, like I was like, I don't dress well enough to have that job and I don't carry myself well enough. I'm not like put together enough.

I'm a stained person. But these people I treat like they are Anna Wintour. You know, like I act like they are so much better than me and I want to impress them and I feel like even bad being in their shop. It's not their shop. They're making maybe a little above minimum wage and i'm acting like they are richer than me like not that that's like there's a status to their well because they're young and

hot and they automatically are the gatekeepers of cool yeah i guess that's it i guess there's not really much to explore here except that they're young and hot you're so right and i do actually if if i quit comedy and was like you know what i just want to get a regular job i would still never do retail not because it's like hard work and stuff because i don't think i'm cute enough to do it and so that is a a thing that i i do work on a pencil you can work at like an auto parts store or like a rei yeah oh yeah no rei i'd have to yeah but i i would honestly be walking around going why do you want this stuff i feel way better i'd feel way better working at an rei and and faking being into nature than i would at working at a bloomies yeah or like uh being one of those people that

sprays perfume oh my god working at a sax i would be how because you have to dress like you shop there but you make a wage that makes it so you can't yeah even with your discount i think most of the time i mean i think these women that work at sax at least the one i go to they there's no way they're like that's their only income there's just no they have to have husbands or something like doing so it's just it's how do you work those high-end stores and dress in it i don't know maybe there's answers out there but i just the other day i was like the intimidation i feel shopping and going in places where girls are dressed cute and it's places i want to shop from but i'm too intimidated by it like even those even those things where you like hire like a stitch fix you like hire a stylist to like put together a box for you yeah i was like at times too embarrassed

to even get one of those because i didn't want them to see like what they're dealing with because i have such shame and insecurity about how i dress yeah it's such a weird thing that I can't let go of. Even though I've learned a lot of stuff to figure out how to be cute, I still, at the end of the day, always grab the grubbiest. I have nice things in my closet. I'll never wear them because I feel somehow not deserving of them.

On stage, you're killing it. On stage, I rent things. I rent. Rent the runway. It's strange because in the public eye on stage, you're like a fashion icon. Yeah. Like what you wear during your special. Sure.

Because I have a stylist telling me exactly what to wear and I trust them literally blindly. I mean, sometimes I go, I don't know. I'm not comfortable in this. And that's like the most i'll weigh in but i i can take literally zero credit for that they'll be like nikki what the emmys is coming up this weekend i got a text from them last week um so what are you thinking for the emmys i go i literally whatever you think i i had no direction no color no shape no style i go i once i just want the shoes to be like not bear traps for my

feet so i can kind of walk but actually make them bear traps who cares i'll just bring flats i've learned my lesson so i don't know i give no direction i i guess it's nice to know when you know what you want and it's nice to know when you truly don't know and it doesn't matter and it reminds me of my mom shopping for back to school clothes all through my childhood and my mom's screaming at me in famous bar going you don't even know what you like and being like i don't but for some reason my mom's tone insinuated that that made me a flawed person and so it is ingrained in me there's something wrong with me that i don't know what i like but i like taylor merch. There you go.

And you're about to see at least six new shirts in a row on this podcast because that's all I can give you. And then I will say that if I ever get a compliment on something from someone who I think is stylish, aka Sarah Lena, I will buy that thing forever.

And that's the thing I'll buy. She complimented some sunglasses I got from Amazon. I've bought 13 pairs i've lost 12 i can't stop buying them they're 7.99 i'll i'll try to remember to put a link in my um uh thing but they're they're the they're the ones i've worn on the show that are like look like trucker sunglasses like aviator type like cover like my entire face and sarah lena was like those are cute girl and i was like oh my god they're amazon and i was like so excited she was like i kind of don't need them but she did say they were cute and so i will buy them forever i just anytime a cute girl compliments anything i will remember it the rest of my life so if you are a girl out there with

good style walking around when you compliment a girl who's a little bit insecure you are giving her the greatest yes you can't even imagine we remember it forever noah pull up from your memory a time where a girl that has my hairstylist what did she say what was the shirt what was the thing you were wearing and let us know i know it's a black romper that i got from madewell that i was just gonna wear as like an everyday thing and And she's like, that looks so good. Where did you get it from? I need to get one. And she has great style

and you respect her. And so you never forgotten it and you will never throw that out, right? Never. Girls, if you have good style, days where I look like I have good style, I'm going to start following my own advice and giving girls compliments

because it fucking matters. All right. We covered a lot today. We'll be back on the pod tomorrow. Can't wait. I think my sister covered a lot today we'll be back on the pod tomorrow can't wait um i think my sister will be here that'll be exciting thank you guys for joining us uh we're gonna uncover a people article that came out this week that said um everything you want to know about nikki glazer's sister which is just next level for all of us in the family we can't even believe it happened. People Magazine.

We'll get into that tomorrow and much, much more. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I will see you then. Don't be careful. Bye. The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast. Created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser. Co-hosted by Brian Frangie.

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sani, and Avior edited and engineered by lean and loaf video production, Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser pod and subscribe to our channel. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

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Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season, but, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday,

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