The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #47 Inside A Moped w/ Bob Saget

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Between you and Nikki, Besties are the best and an encounter that surprised Nikki when she was trying to be discreet. Andrew comes in hot, literally after getting some heat on IG. Bob Saget comes by the show and there is no shortage of "machine gun" jokes. They tell stories from the comedy scene, discuss jokes that stand the test of time, relationships, immortality and moulding their private parts. Nikki introduces a new segment called Burning Questions For Bob, where she, Andrew and Producer Noa compete to ask Bob their best question. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast,

and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports.

I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party. That's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello. How's it going out there, besties? Oh my gosh, getting so many messages from different listeners of the show, who I call my besties, because I feel like I talk to you guys like my best friends. Just filling you in, because some people are like, stop with the bestie thing. I mean, I think that was in the beginning. People were like, bestie makes me sick. And I'm like,

I like it, and we're keeping it. And if you don't want to be one you don't have to um but I do talk to you guys like my best friends and uh someone wrote to me and was like and just said that and was like I honestly feel like you're my friend um and I said back to her I honestly am because uh yeah I'm not bullshitting you when I say that I'm more honest in this than I am in pretty much any aspect of my life. That's not true, but like truly, um, yeah, you guys get more of me than my best friends do at this point. I've been doing this thing where I, um, Hey Noah, by the way, I've been doing this thing where, um, I, she just waved at me. I make podcasts for my friends. I've been doing it for years now. My best friends, and I recommend it to anyone out there who has these friends where you're like,

when we see each other, it's just like no time has passed. You know that whole thing where you don't have to talk every day, but then when you almost don't want to call them because there's so much fucking shit to catch up on. a fun way to process your feelings and i've talked about this before sometimes i'll do a podcast to like no one you know or to a person that i might you know might never even hear it i don't even think they'll hear it but a good thing to do is i had a bunch of stuff happen in my life that all my high school friends and like these girls that I often have on girls trips uh who you'll hear it that when we do collection of clothes you hear all their voices at the beginning of that but um I uh I I had like a bunch of stories happen and I was like god I gotta talk to every single one of them and tell them this epic tale and it's just not going to happen so I decided to make a podcast about like

a four-parter series about my story and like knowing full well like they have families and lives and jobs well some of them have jobs but that they might have busy lives where they don't want to listen to me talk about my life where I think I'm more interesting than them because I'm like in Hollywood which is not what I think but I'm scared they'll think that I think that because I'm making a podcast anyway I tell them like if you're bored listen to this I'll make it entertaining and I make a little podcast for my friends um and that's just stuff I can't I would talk about on here and I will someday when it's there's like you know more space but um and I you know I fashion egg the hell out of all the stuff

I tell them to you guys. So you'll, you'll realize that, you know, it all already as well. But, um, yeah, I, I like making podcasts for friends and, um, and I recommend you do it for yours and just go like, you know, if you have like a couple of girlfriends from college that you don't communicate with anymore, just put them on an email and do an audio message on your phone when you're walking your dog and just bang, and it helps you process the story that you're telling anyway.

And then just send it to four friends and be like, listen, if you guys, if you want to jump in on this, make a podcast episode for me. So my best friend Catherine and I have been doing podcasts forever and she's like,

and that's how we mostly communicate is like 10 minute, we keep them underneath 10 minutes because it's just kind way can't do that on this show and then we send them off and uh it's just so fun i was even thinking about making it like a a podcast in and of itself of me and my best friend like talking about our lives and she's talking about her marriage and having kids and like these really personal issues and i'm like how can i get this out there for the public and turn this into something that will i'm like she probably has to die first but then i wouldn't which i don't want her to die but like if posthumously i could be

like oh i'll put this out you know anne frank probably wouldn't have allowed her diary to be published unless they just did it without asking like i've always wondered like um i'm sorry i'm glad ann frank wrote things in her diary that weren't humiliating but if anyone published my diary i mean no one would i didn't say things like i believe humanity is good i said things like i'm sitting next to ricky in class today and i he had a scab on his knee that I wanted to pick like it's like shit like that was in my diary and I probably didn't even write that in my diary because the fact that I wanted to pick scabs and things like that I was very ashamed of I thought it was really weird until I found my best friend Kirsten and uh one day in fourth grade I found my best friend Kirsten

because I loved picking things and not scabs so much but you guys get it um warts uh didn't know didn't know it at the time um but one time I was walking past her desk in fourth grade and I didn't know this girl she ended up being my best friend later on but um I looked inside her desk and she had a Crayola um box of crayons and on it had little dollops of glue I think I've told this before on the show and I apologize I've told it on some podcast dollops of glue and I was like what is that bitch doing in that desk like whoever sits at that desk is on the same shit I'm on to like I want to pick glue dried glue if that's what she's doing and that was what she was doing and I felt so less alone that this other person had

this weird thing and that's what the internet is now right like whatever weird thing you're into you can find other people that are into it and it makes you feel less weird because how many like we should do a segment on the show of like stuff you thought made you weird and you wouldn't share with anyone and then you realized like it was very very common or that there was a community of people i mean isn't that everything i don't i mean people are gonna write and be like i was attracted to children it's like oh not that one buddy um but yeah what i mean that that's a whole other but but there are people on the internet that have that same interest as well and it's um one-fif there are people on the internet that have that same interest as well.

And it's one-fifth of people, by the way, consume child pornography. That's a real stat. One-fifth of Americans. General population, one-fifth. It's terrifying. Listen to, if you want some recommendations of podcasts so you have information about child sex abuse in the United States and it will open your eyes and scare you. Look no further than DMing me. Today was a great morning. Went to Starbucks. Oh, this is embarrassing, Noah. Okay. So my morning ritual is I used to, this used to be my morning ritual. I wake up and then I meditate for 20 minutes. I brush my teeth so I don't have a

gross taste in my mouth. I go back to bed. I sit up straight and I meditate for 20 minutes. I brush my teeth so I don't have a gross taste in my mouth. I go back to bed. I sit up straight and I meditate for 20 minutes. And then I go and I begin my day. And then I, that used to be before when I did the serious show. Every morning in New York. Had to be at work by 10. Woke up, meditated, cleaned up all the candy wrappers in my bed of the things I'd eaten the night before. Acting like, oh, I'm healthy because I meditate. cleaned up all the candy wrappers in my bed of the things I'd eaten the night before acting like

oh I'm I'm healthy because I meditate and then I would uh go get a latte not eat breakfast like an idiot and then um but I always felt so good about meditating in the morning now my ritual does not include meditation and that's good because guess what meditation can come and go I'm not feeling bad about not meditating because whoever started meditation, you know, meditation is not about feeling bad if you're doing it or feeling bad if you're like doing it wrong or even if you're not doing it. That's why I love meditation. If you don't want to meditate, it's almost like that's it. That's fine, man. It's waiting for you when you come back. It's not like the gym where you're like, I feel bad if I didn't go. So I don't meditate right now. Could use some, uh, cause I'm all over the place. But, uh, this

morning I woke up, pulled Luigi into bed, forced him to cuddle with me. Wasn't feeling it, but you know, um, he got into it as soon as I started whispering sweet nothings about treats into his ear. Oh, his ears just perked up. I'm sorry, Luigi. That was a false alarm. We went for a WLK because I can't say walk. We went for, because he's in the room. We went for a casual stroll with his leash. Even that word's a buzzword.

And then we went to Starbucks. As I'm walking into Starbucks, Noah, I see this beautiful woman out front like model-esque just gorgeous hair gorgeous skin and she's holding a baby uh like probably a four or five month old baby she has a toddler that's like toddling around beautiful toe-headed kid toe head means like bright blonde hair right yes and she's holding this baby to her like cheek and just like just they're it looks like they're just like you know mother baby cheek and the baby is just like a little smush and it was beautiful lighting and I like street photography a lot I like taking pictures of strangers I do it all the time it's a really good indication if I'm in a good state of mental health is if I start seeing like beauty in the world and I want to take pictures. But you know, it's a little bit hairy taking pictures of

strangers. They might see it. I have a whole system where people don't think I'm doing it. And the fun thing about street photography is you don't know what you're going to get until you look later. It's almost like waitressing. I used to love waitressing because you never knew what the tip was going to be until after they left. And're like what am I gonna get and with taking street photography when I walk by people and I take pictures I don't look at my phone until later because I'm doing it um like private I'm doing it uh sneakily and then later on I'll show it to them if I can if I know them and be like hey can I post this this is beautiful but if not I just hope for the best and hope and I'm gonna start a fake Instagram account

because I used to do street photography all the time on my Instagram account. If you go back to 2012, 11, 10, like really scroll far on my Instagram, you'll see all my street photography. It's all I used to do on there and I'm pretty damn good. I used to do subway shots.

I really, I think I might start a separate account for all of my street photography so that i can get away with it because if you just if you are a comedian doing street photography people go that person didn't know you're taking a picture of them that's an invasion of privacy but if you have an account that's street photography people are like that's really cool that should be a national geographic so anyway i took a picture of this woman and then she goes are you nikki and i was like and i had my ear pods air pods in which have noise canceling which by the way you can't hear fucking jack shit with these air these new

air pods with noise canceling how do you turn the goddamn noise canceling off i know it's through my phone but i want an easier way she goes are you nikki i saw her mouth and i go yes i probably screamed it because noise canceling yes and uh she goes i did your hair and I was like oh my god and she was this girl that did my hair in back in February and she was massively pregnant with the baby that she's pushing on her face at the time so I took this picture of this woman I haven't even looked at the picture yet I want to see how good it is she was like I don't if it's good I'm gonna send it to her and see if she wants it but it's so funny that I was like taking a picture of this woman thinking it's the most beautiful oh it's pretty good oh my god it's so good and this is her staring at me oh my god this is the second she caught me and goes is this nikki noah look wow isn't that so

funny the look at the baby's face is like and literally the baby looks like worried she's staring at me and doesn't know that i'm taking a picture of her at all that's a great shot thanks um so but the funny thing is the baby i go look at this baby the second it locked eyes with me its face turned into like the like almost the crying emoji like the laughing crying emoji but without the tears or like the, the jovialness of it, it just, its face scrunched up and was like, like disgusted. It was so funny that a baby looked in my eyes and had pure disgust. And it was probably cause I was wearing the new ear or the old earrings that Andrew got me. Just kidding. I hadn't put them in yet. We just put up a poll on Instagram. Andrew and I were eating breakfast and he was like,

put on the earrings that I got you. And I put them on and I honestly, I love them. I'm kind of into them and know I want to talk about it with Andrew in the room. Let's get him in here. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts

so you can retire early. Well, How To Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis,

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iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Andrew, how'd you sleep last night? I slept good, Nick. I slept real good.

We did get yelled at in Instagram, on my Instagram. Why? So we did the video of Reese Witherspoon, or you did the impression, a great impression of Reese Witherspoon. Oh, I didn't even see it. On the morning show. Oh my God, I can't. We're watching the morning show.

We're watching Friends. We're watching a lot of hacks. I just want to give our listeners an update of all the shows that i'm consuming and a bachelorette i want you guys all to get into these shows as well if you can because we're going to be referencing them a lot but uh the morning show which you thought was like a new show i thought it came out three days ago i thought we were on to something here and i wrote a morning show is on fire or something and everyone's like you're three years too late. Yeah.

I mean, it's ridiculous. Me too's over. How did you not? I mean, this whole show, it's not over. But Andrew, don't even joke about me too being over. No, it's a really fascinating show. I can't believe it. I thought it was probably a B minus because it has such a stellar cast that I couldn't believe that I wasn't hearing about it constantly if it was good.

That's why I thought it was new. Right. You didn't hear about it that much. But it's so good. Aniston is incredible. It's so fun to watch the first season of Friends where we saw Aniston emerge on the scene. And even though she had been in many things before and been a working actress for years. But to see her first thing she did in her career that we all knew of.

And then besides Leprechaun, 1993 is Leprechaun. And then to see- And the one with Gyllenhaal. The good- Good girl. That was, dude, that was like 2006. What about it? But I'm saying like, that wasn't, I'm saying Leprechaun was before Friends.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, she did Leprechaun in 1993. Friends started in 1994, 95. She probably filmed it in four. But so we're watching Friends and now we're watching Morning Show, which is the bookends of her kind of IMDb. Sometimes when that happens,

sometimes I like to think that she just grew in. That's who she became. Rachel Green turned into Alex Levy. Yeah. It really annoys me that the two main characters of the morning show, the two female characters are Alex and Bradley. It's like, it just seems intentional

and like annoying to me. Yeah, it seems like. And Corey is a girl's name. Binary kind of thing. No, I mean, it just is like, I think. Manly. I just, I want to know she's a girl. I'm just kidding.

I don't care, but I just think it was just like kind of cur. Yeah. There's so many fucking cur things in the morning show. What did we get yelled at about? Oh, well, I mean. So I did an impression of Reese Witherspoon's character, who she's just like a spunky girl who has an accent like this. Have her talking to Jenna Aniston.

Here, do a TV report where, do a, like a TV report where they're, someone got stuck in a well. Why don't you be our producer? Why don't you be Corey? Okay, so there's a sinister producer character

who's brought. The Duplass brother. Who is, no, no, no, you're Corey. Oh, Corey, yeah, yeah. Who's played by Crudup.

Billy Crudup, who we then watched Almost Fam famous because we were on a crud up. Like, do you know who Billy crud up is? Noah? He's so hot. He was an almost famous.

He played Russell and almost famous. I put him on my story last night. This him and Kate Hudson locking eyes. That's how I know him. He was a great guitarist and still water. And now he's a producer. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, he, he is a kind of illustrious. I mean, he has had an illustrious career, this Corey that is the head of UTA or whatever the hell. So if you haven't watched the show, The Morning Show is about a morning show like the Today Show. You know, what's his name from The Office? Oh, my God.

Steve Carell. Steve Carell's character from The Office is actually a morning show host later on in his life. Is anyone else thinking this is hilarious? I do. Because I think it's so funny. Okay, so after he left Scranton, Michael Scott becomes a... He's like, I'm done with paper.

Like a Matt Lauer type. Yeah. So it's pretty much the story of Matt Lauer. Matt Lauer and Katie Couric back in the day when they did the Today Show. This couple that that isn't a couple they're not dating but they do this show for many many years more like a today show he gets me too'd overnight he's gone he's replaced by reese witherspoon who's this like sassy girl from kind of like a fox news angle but she's not fox news she's just a-teller out there just like telling the truth.

And Corey, the sinister executive of the NBC of their Today show, is trying to get rid of Jennifer Anson because she's old and needs to be put out to pasture. And he wants to bring in Reese Witherspoon. Well, guess what? Jennifer Anson hijacks everything and says, guess what? Reese Witherspoon is my new co-anchor and we're bringing her in. And I know you loved her in election. She was a sassy little high schooler then, but she grew up to be a fun anchor and, and legally,

but she also has her, she passed the bar and legally blonde. So, so this is Reese Witherspoon's character. She's just like, and this is nothing again. First of all, everyone in there acts very well.

Everyone's a good act. It's kind of like if Carlisle became a newscaster there acts very well kind of like if carlisle became a newscaster this show is kind of because it's just like these archetypes of like jennifer aniston's like the everything everyone in the show for the first four episodes by the way is constantly in a bad mood there's like literally not what i said it to andrew because i was complaining because he loves the show and i was being kind of a brat about it. And I was like, everyone's cut. Everyone's in a bad mood. And then I saw you go, well, no. And then you go, wait, every single you.

Yes, I agreed. But but I was saying that me too is like someone died. And then I asked you if your father. Oh, my God. Andrew posed this question. No, this is such an insane. It's a very dark question. It's almost as good as the question that I came up with that I was really proud of.

If you'd rather be two inches taller and lose a half an inch of penis or have an inch of penis and become two inches shorter. I'd rather just, you know, die.

Just die than even fathom that. Okay, so what was your would you rather to me? If you found out your dad, Tamar, would you rather find out that your dad, Tamar,

was a rapist or that he died? Okay, well. Or that he died. I that he that he died i'll answer this like um uh alex levy's character in um uh the morning show okay well here's what i'd say to that i am a strong woman who can make up my mind and i need whiskey to get through the day yes and i really don't know my relationship with, now I'm just getting into a character study. Okay, honestly though,

I would probably want my dad to die because in both scenarios, my dad is dead. In one, he keeps to keep living and I get to spend time with him, but my resentment for him, if I found out he was a rapist, would be so much

that I would have no fun times with him if he continued to live. So I would kill him myself. I know, because then you'd have to live with him essentially dying in public opinion for 20 more years, at least. I mean, I just don't see my dad being a rapist. It would literally shake my world so much if my sweet father, who I just know and trust has never done anything gross with women

like i just called you babe i mean besides that and kissing me on the lips until the age of 26 when i banned it from our household turn his head it's one of my oh my god i don't even want to get go into my act but that's one of my favorite jokes that i do is that i say my dad kissed me on the lips until i was 26 and um well I do a bunch of other stuff about it but I go uh I go I put I literally had to have a talk with him I go dad we can't do this and he goes we kiss on the lips in this family and I go well then why don't you do it to mom I love that joke but it's uh it's it's that was enlightening when I picked up the phone on air and said hey hey dad

and he goes hey babe and you laughed at me and all of our listeners laughed why did we get yelled at last night oh shit um back to that so we left the cabinet door open in the background oh shut up i've never people get mad about our cord situation underneath the tv too yes i'm never gonna fix it never and i'm gonna put i going to open all the cabinets. I keep that cabinets open. I don't know why I do that. I think it makes me feel like our, you know, I don't know. I just don't.

I'm ADD. When I open a cabinet, I don't close it. And it makes for a messier space. Oh, yeah. That wants the cabinet. Or they got yelled at by their dad. Do you remember when you were in like school? Noah, I know you know this too.

And you would be, your teacher would erase the board and they would miss a spot or a couple spots. They would do like a haphazard and it would just gnaw on my. But why does it gnaw on people? What is it with the cabinet? It's OCD. What happened in their childhood where the cabinet.

They didn't feel like they had enough control. They felt like there's moments that happen, traumatic moments that happen in your childhood that you don't even know. And it could literally not be being molested or being beaten. It could be like your mom didn't hear you when you were crying

because she had noise canceling AirPods on or whatever, which we didn't. But like, you know, you were crying in your crib a little bit too long and that for whatever reason and there might have been like a shadow from a bird flying by that might have spooked you as an infant in a way that that set off like a brain chemistry like your neurons fired in a way that that's trauma that you hold on to and you don't even know what it is and so later on when you see a cabinet that's open,

it makes you feel unsafe. Like there's some, it's also weird. Or their parents were just insanely tidy about chores and they just, every little thing like that. But I think a lot of times

it's from kids that came from like disgusting places and so now anything that is disgusting reminds them of the fact that their parents were like checked out

and they didn't listen. You can't win. Honestly, you can't win. You know either if you're from Reese's, we're just moving down there or down there. You their parents were like you can't win you can't win honestly you know either if you're from reese we're moving down there you know you know the only way you can win is having a bob saget on your podcast so we don't do a lot of guests around these parts as you know but um we got uh a call and said that and i heard bob saget was interested in being on the show i love bob saget he's one of my dear friends honestly he's one of my friends that's a wild thing that I get to say I I truly

think that he he's he's nice to everyone and everyone feels like they're friends with Bob Saget um because he does have a podcast called Bob Saget is here for you and it's just that's the essence of Bob Saget is that he's like this father figure. I grew up watching Full House. I grew up just with a dad that was very much like Bob Saget in that way. Not as emotionally available, but it always like just loved me

as much as Danny Tanner. And then I grew up and I met Bob Saget and he is just as wonderful. And so we're going to bring him into the show now. Bob Saget. Oh yeah just as wonderful and so we're going to bring him into the show now Bob Saget Oh yeah hello Hello dear Oh god do I miss you when I don't see you

I know well we can't see you right now your video is off Yeah I know it's on I just had to hit a button and uh yeah you get it I mean you still haven't hit it yet but I know everything you know i just want to see you i want to see you so bad and i don't know why you don't hold on hold on there bob saget is here for us bob saget is here for you is the name of his podcast

you know him as a comedian actor director um i know him as a friend uh bob saget i'm so excited to have you on as our first official like comedian friend guest on the nikki glazer podcast welcome thank you so much that was such a long intro i'm gonna give you an answer that is equally as long nikki i love you so much you are such a good friend can't believe i'm the first person on here i want to borrow some bitcoin from you First of all, this is Andrew Collin You guys have met when you've been in my studio For the Sirius show

But he is my best friend and roommate I know, and I see everything on Instagram And it's more than not enough I need more I can't get enough of you two together Same with you and your wife I've loved you with the quarantine content With you guys doing the TikTok couples.

I want to know how those go down. She goes, I have a new dish with peas. I go, well, I like peas. Okay, what's your idea? And the next thing I know, I'm dancing and changing clothes and putting on a rubber mustache. I thought I was just going to have peas. How does that go down Bob? I want to know as the husband Of a wife

Who is very active with making content For TikTok and Instagram which is like You gotta follow Kelly On those things. Isn't it Kelly Travel? It's Eat Travel Rock Eat Travel Rock is Kelly Bob Saget's wife's

Instagram account and she puts up hilarious Videos and just shares good food and just like fun stuff. A great follow on TikTok. Like peas. Like peas. Everyone loves it. I want to know what it's like being the husband of that, though, where it's like you see a shot getting set up. You know something's going to happen. Does she warn you like, I'm going to need you to be a part of this?

Does she kind of just like set it up and then throw you into it? Is it a weekend at she kind of just like set it up and then throw you into it are you a weekend at bernie it is in a situation it's like it's like yeah i'm the dead guy yeah she gives you a bunch she just builds everything around my corpse how long have you been dead bob oh 40 50 years emotionally emotionally it was probably right before full house started and then um no i was alive during that i'm more alive now than ever i mean i believe it partying ended i triple got out of my coffin and said it's time you know let's let's make people happy and we got to see each other nikki thanks so beauty media it's time to time to do to tell the truth put on a mask get tested this is just oh my god it's the truth we're not bombing normandy um oh my god that day that was

so funny that day we were on to tell the truth together for one episode uh back in december and i remember but there was some huge news headline and you go how about it supreme court and i go yeah and you're like right and i was like i don't know what you're talking about he was like how have you not looked at your it was some i forget i think it was like biden won and you were like and i was like what i was so embarrassed to not know the the news that was on the tip of your tongue backstage biden did not win in december although according to some people he did and then lost in January. I don't know what to believe, but it was odd that we didn't know what was going on in the world or you

didn't, or I kind of did. And yet we were on a show called to tell the truth. That was, that show is wild. And I love doing it because you get to be on with, you get to meet new celebrities that you would never get to hang out with. And then you get to also hang out with people.

I was so excited when you were on that show. I was excited to be with you because you're funny and you're real. You make me laugh. Same. I mean, I make myself laugh as well. I know you do. Bob, we. Funny to hear you both lying right now.

No, we tell the truth. No, I don't believe it. No way no this morning i sent you what i sent my producer noah and andrew uh a clip of yours this morning because i wanted them to understand how like what what you were like when you first started doing stand-up this was the um young i'm guessing it's the young comedian special the one that rodney dangerfield hosted what year was that it was uh god in heaven it was 86 i want to say yeah five and it was uh rodney's very first young comedian special it was sam kentison and myself and yakov and louis anderson and i i just had him on my podcast and

we talked about it um do you get frustrated that every person you know has a podcast? Does it get exhausting? You know what? I am now at the point in my life where I can say no more. Like we're not doing this. You're right. I just go. I have one every day.

Having a podcast every day is probably why um i i it's i have i do four a week you know for this show it's very that's my best excuse it's also thank you well it's topical you're basically doing a radio show in trunk that's what i wanted to do and i just don't want to have to do stand-up every night to feel like i you know got my emotions out comedically it just it's it takes away me having to go to clubs every night and feel like I got attention. And, and that,

that, that, you know, the hole that we're trying to fill in our soul of needing to be loved. But I, are you on tour? Are you, you're on tour though,

starting now, right? Well, I'm going to start up a end of July is when my theater tour starts. And then I'm going to start going to clubs and working on material. I'm just, you know, who knows what's going to happen. It's just, I'm very excited about it, but I'm also like, what I'm going to start going to clubs and working on material. I'm just, you know, who knows what's going to happen?

It's just I'm very excited about it. But I'm also like, what am I going to talk about? You're going to be fine. I didn't know what to do. I mean, of course, you're going to be fine. You're Nikki. No, no, no. I'm saying I know just for myself, but I do need to hear that from you, Bob.

Thank you. Well, I just went out, I guess I started a month and a half ago and I went to places like I opened the Hard Rock in Atlantic City, which is supposed supposed to be 7 000 people but it was like under a thousand to show and it felt really fun and then i got used to it and then i went to dave chappelle summer camp in ohio which was we gotta talk about that that was so much oh my god you gotta go you gotta go it's just i am waiting for an invite all All right. I can, I can do it. I'll do a text when we're done. Honestly.

Yeah. Let's, before you do that text, I want, I do want to like, well, the thing with, we got to get to the news in a second.

I'm going to bring you in, but there's a couple of things I wanted to share before I get to the Chappelle thing. First of all, everyone needs, we're going to post it on my, on our story on the Nikki laser podcast. Go watch Bob Saget set from this young comedian special that, um, of all everyone needs we're going to post it on my on our story on the nikki laser podcast go watch

bob saget set from this young comedian special that um he had posted on his instagram over quarantine i was always familiar with bob's stand-up but always like it was before i started doing stand-up before i respected the art of it bob you are you watch your stand-up we watched it this morning there i see every fucking stand-up in your stand-. We watched it this morning. There, I see every fucking standup in your standup. Like you influence, and I'm sure you were influenced by people. Majorly, yeah. But you are, first of all, just,

and that's why I love you so much and you make me laugh so hard because you are a joke machine. It's nonstop with you. You can't go one, your setups are funny. But I was doing um i was counting your laughs right after we watched it once i go that seems like a machine gun like you know delivery so i started counting them and then i divided by the amount of minutes and i took off

your intro and i took off the outro and you had i think one joke every three seconds. It was something like a laugh every three seconds. You were so fucking funny. That set in 1986 was so ballsy. You were saying things that were so dark. And we all know that Bob Saget was revealed to be this dirty comic after we had known him as Danny Tanner. But you were always this way. But it's not dirty.

You were just, you're so smart So quick It is a stand up set That would stand the test of time You should go watch it now It's one of my favorite clips I'm nuts over her I'm nuts over her That was not my joke

That was my uncle told me that joke And it was Because my ex-wife was 5'1 What's the joke? I'm nuts over her She's this tall And then you hold your hand down What's the joke? I'm nuts over her. She's this tall. And then you hold your hand down. What about when you said, I love my mom and you can too.

For $12. For $12. Nikki, when I did stand up on the road, I would build on it. I said, that's not true. She's classy. It's $24. I'd always increase her value because that's my mom's my mom. That's your mom, Bob. You don't want to give it away.

Don't disrespect inflation. You know, she really is in the crowd. It's twenty seven dollars inflated over the years. So it did. We had to give her an inflammatory. But what happened was people took that as me saying bad things. And, you know, when I go back and I feel bad, there's jokes that I did. Well, there were jokes

that I did in a 2007 special or things that were said about me on the Comedy Central roast. I wish I could take back things. Sure. I didn't want them being said then about me, but I couldn't do anything about it.

Have you, are there jokes that you look back on and you go, that joke doesn't, why did I do, I wouldn't want to do that now? Is there anything that, I mean, I don't want you to draw attention to it. Nothing but thousands of them.

I know, I know, Bob. There's thousands of jokes waiting to cancel you. And same for me. But I don't deserve cancelization because I feel bad about it. And I don't think I actually hurt anyone ever. And the people that they think I hurt are my best friends. So it's like you said this about that person. And they were a kid.

I know. But they were 22. And I'm best friends with them now. And they're worried about me because you want to cancel me. So I'm not cancelable i just you know i just want to do what i do i you know me i i come from a place of love i say the wrong thing because that's how i deal with how bad things are but i know but we got to be careful about how we do that especially now because so many people you know the the old thing of words matter uh

is what i like to say to my wife. So how much is your mom today? I was going to do a sex joke about my wife. I know. I heard. But I stopped it in time. And then you brought up my mom, which is that is the thing that will stop any sex joke. My mom.

Yes. Unless you pay enough. I love the way you walk out on stage on this. Can I just play this? So Rodney brings you up. You could tell he loved you. Or it felt that way. By the way, it's mutual.

And it's not bullshit. I don't really feel that way. Yeah, you could hear it. So here you are walking up the stage. I love this intro. The first line. Guys, you're a wonderful audience. You really are.

I'm not just kissing up. I'm really not. I swear. I'm slobbering all over you is what I'm doing. Because I need you to like me real bad. Because I have no act. And I have no life. And I have no future.

I have no life. What an opening, dude. I have no act. And I have no future. On the young comedian special to open that way is so freaking funny and true and honest. I love it. But it really wasn't an act. It wasn't. You were just saying.

I was just riffing without therapy. Therapy slowed me down a little bit. But when I first came to L.A. and I went to the comedy store in 1978, in 78, 1878, Robin Williams came up to me. And I used to say, I have no act. I have no life. And I live in a moped which didn't make any sense because that means I didn't even have a studio apartment

you know, that's how small but people don't even go to that step now they just go, hey I own a moped you've offended all mopeds but Robin came up to me and he went first time I met him, 1978, he comes up so you have no act, you have no life and you live in a moped.

That's a bad impression. And I went, yes, that's what I said. He said, okay. That is great. I watched the new Apple series, Who Do You Think You Are? It's the one with Harry Harry uh Prince Harry and Oprah it's about mental uh health I really recommend it to my parents so they can understand

why uh I am the way I am yeah I really want like it's one of these things where I'm like can I buy them an Apple TV subscription and tell them to watch the second episode of Oprah and Harry because it's just it makes it I think so much, so much of the time, mental health is just like, why did you choose to be depressed? Just like go for a walk and just like snap out of it. Nick is so much what I heard growing up. Not because my parents weren't like,

they did not capable of empathy, but kind of not. And it's something that you have to learn. Yeah. Well, we had, we had mental illness in our family and my sister, I had a sister that

was schizophrenic. And she passed away at 34 of a brain aneurysm. And she was beautiful and wonderful. And I had the other one that passed away from scleroderma, which is hardening of the skin. And so my comedy as people died, just got worse as far as death jokes and sickness jokes. And then I realized, realized well these jokes aren't all getting laughs so i better take it easy uh but when i do my benefits maybe deal like did it make you feel like you were maybe because sometimes i joke about things and they're not getting laughs because people are like that's really sad what you're talking about and you probably haven't healed from it and we can tell you haven't yeah we're running laugh once you've healed from it

we're running yeah like problem rather than dealing with it they can sense that we're not over it yeah and then there's not brilliant people that maybe aren't always perceived as comedians that we know who they are and they get nominated for emmy and grammy awards rightfully and they're doing comedy but it's more spoken word. And they're explaining, I went through this. I had cancer. My parents did this. I was a victim of gun violence. And I just don't work that way.

It's too painful. I talk that way. That's why I love a podcast. I love my podcast because I'm able to talk honest. Bob Saget is here for you. Thanks. I was on it, and i had a really good uh time so i i just love talking to you but you're right about when i was talking this morning about

and just singing your praises to andrew about like this dude like is the those jokes are so fast there's not a second wasted and andrew was saying what did you say you were like there's some comics that do yeah well, well, to build up. Like you were saying, it gives it more context. So then the audience understands that you've dealt with it outside of the stage. Are you saying that you go straight to the joke too quick? Not anymore. Not anymore.

I still do to entertain them. But right now, I'm on a tour. And I'm doing some clubs like, what is it? West Nyack, Levity Live. Live yeah you're at Levity Live in West Nyack in New York on a Tuesday and a Wednesday so that's not stuff I would normally do this Tuesday and Wednesday yeah or next Tuesday Wednesday go to the cellar and do three shows I want to do a full hour or hour and a half and and really work on all the because it's all new stuff and it's all and it's more stories but I and it's more stories, but I don't like,

there are moments where I love no laughs. And then I wait because I know how to do it now. Took me to 65 years old to figure it out, but then to wait as long as it takes to get the laugh because the laugh has meaning. And then they laugh out of, oh my God, you just burst the bubble of my uncomfortableness. I used to not be able to wait and just just joke joke joke because right because it's too vulnerable to have a setup

and to maybe take them to a place where they could interrupt you or they could heckle or you could just feel too vulnerable i just i don't like having any room for people to heckle me or to tell me i suck or to i just want to be that's why I talk so fast that's why I want joke joke joke laugh laugh laugh laugh and it's um it's a defense mechanism but it's also good I mean you're you're doing I work that way it's the kind of comedy I like well Rodney Dangerfield told me when I met him when I was like 24 at the comedy store in La Jolla he said just 50 minutes man just one after another just machine gun it it, man. Just go. And he said, doing stand-up to him was like doing six minutes in Germany

during World War II when you're trying to get out, and the guard at the border will let you out if you can make him laugh. And you got six minutes. Yes. He doesn't want to hear a monologue. And it's kind of hard to write that, like, a joke every 10 seconds when you're doing an hour. Like, you know, get either repetitive or it's a lot of memorization.

It's like, it's a lot. You know, if you, the pros can figure it out. There are some one-liner comics that start out and they got a good six minutes and they'll get on the Tonight Show and stuff and they can't, that doesn't last an hour, but you can't, I was saying Wendy Liebman is someone who can do an hour of just those,

like, you know, I just quit smoking crack and you know, like she can do an hour of those and you, and it's a fun game to play. Cause you go, I don't know what is coming. I like to pause it and guess what she might do to divert it.

Right. Bob, your, your standup was, I'm seriously, truly so inspired by, uh, your standup and how funny you are and uh and also how

you've transitioned into this like more emotionally vulnerable person and and a guy who's going to get me into the chapelle camp which by the way can i just say that's what's going on though not a oh yeah oh yeah they're doing it dane cook was there this past weekend i did i was the first one you were there when when when it went south because there was a covid exposure in September. I only had one night. And so then that was it. They closed it down. This is a documentary Dave made, which is being shown at Radio City in a week. I'm going to go to that premiere. But then but then it stopped. And then he said, you're going to be the Dave Chappelle said, you're the first person i'm gonna call when we start up

and damn it i got i got the call and i said i'm on the plane at first i couldn't do it because of my schedule he's the best in every way and i got on the plane and then it's sudden it's it's my boyfriend's it's john mayer it's it's jeff ross and i'm there and and uh and Donnell's there and it's just, it's so beautiful. I don't even want to go. I'm too overwhelmed at the idea of being there. It's all for the right reasons, you know, and it's in a freaking

cornfield and there's something organic and real about it. And he was saying, Michael Che was on. Where do you sleep? In a hotel that you would not normally do on the road. Sure. Yeah, I get what you're saying. A micro hotel.

But you don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You're hanging out. It's the nicest hotel there and you feel like. That's kind of what I want. I want to be able

to get away from everyone because I'm not someone who wants to hang out 24-7 with comics. Like, I love a comic hang, but I don't want to like sleep in the same house and wake up in the morning

and have to like, you know, eat cereal with cat fries. No, I don't do that. I used to do house and wake up in the morning and have to like you know eat cereal with though I don't do that I used to do those comedy condos and then about you know 40 years ago I said no more popcorn ceilings and then of course I stay in like a four seasons with a popcorn ceiling which is straight

we gotta get to the news we're gonna do a couple news segments before we get to our special segment that we have for you I do want to say with the Chappelle thing my last thing is that I was on fallon with him he was the first guest i was the second and they were like are you okay being the second guest to chapelle and i was like i can't even just make him the guest which they ended up doing i literally had like two minutes on air but i did not care because it was like chapelle i um but i also said to him i go

can because i was doing it on zoom i i i went through my publicist and i go can you ask if chappelle wants to like stay on for mine like you know that you like you would stay on the couch right and you know it'll be three minutes and they were like do you know him and i go um i mean no but i've met him at a you know comedy seller brunch and he was very nice to me and like i seem to know my name and i'm sure he's heard of me and so and we have mutual friends and uh i think they floated it and then they came up i don't i actually i don't think And he was very nice to me and seemed to know my name. And I'm sure he's heard of me. And we have mutual friends. And I think they floated it. And then they came up. I don't think they asked him because they were too scared that he wouldn't want it.

Because he ended up sticking around and watching my interview, even though he was done with his at his ranch where he was Zooming. It was so nice. People said that afterwards he was like, where's Nikki? I want to tell her. Because he stayed on for the musical guest because it was one your boob fell out and my boob fell out too so yeah I actually I saw that and I saw it I watched every frame very slow and then Kelly came you know that boob Kelly came in oh I haven't gone near it or thought about it but

but Kelly came in and she's interested also. So, okay. Well, that, that we'll talk about off. But I will say about Dave that I was watching Michael Che, who has to guess he's a guest on my podcast on Monday. He'll be my guest. Oh, great.

Michael Che from SNL. Oh God, I love him. And so he was at Chappelle camp. And so he was at Chappelle's place and Dave kept sticking his head in promoting his podcast. And, and it was hilarious.

He is. And he called the hotel that we stay at. He actually said they've changed the name of it to the Colonel Sanders because it looks like that plantation style. It is. Oh, my God. It is. It's that bad.

It is. No, it's actually lovely. But Dave Chappelle can say it. Dave Chappelle can say anything. Like, literally, you're like Dave Chappelle walked in the room and I'm like, Dave must be annoyed by that though. Like it must get tired that where you, you don't have to prove yourself anymore.

When you go and, and when you're able to be around him and for a long amount of time, he's all love. He is all love. And that is what, that's what comes through. And then besides the fact love he is all love and that i believe that that's what comes through and then besides the fact that he is one of the fun i can't wait to hook on to him and just use him as a no i know i don't i i honestly don't want to do that at all i want to just have a uh

you want to know him you want to be with the great he's the greatest facilitate it though bob because i feel like i want you there when you meet, when you, when I meet him, I want you there to like vouch for me. And I also just, I just need, I just want you, Bob Saget, I want you to be here for me, just like your podcast. I will be at all. I won't be maybe physically,

but all you have to say is, do you like Bob Saget? And then he'll hug you for about four minutes because we hug each other to the point where it gets uncomfortable. Really? And I can't break it. And he gets scared that i won't break the hug oh i love that so he's a he's he's a very like affectionate person with his friends with his friends he is about the best

friend you can have he's a sweetheart wow i love that and i was there with john mayer too so we we were going to do a prenup of some kind there was not going to Be any any sex and but Your friends with John yeah he's A dear friend and you have the Coolest friends he is how did you meet John Mayer real quick before we get to the news How did you guys everything goes back To something dark my dad had passed away

And I was doing a benefit for Scleroderma and that I do Every year and he I did it this Year you did and we're gonna do it virtually again i will do it again for sure i i loved learning about it and um like getting involved and and i actually did learn a lot about it and it's uh it's something that needs our support and i'm really glad that you do those it was it was it was a joy to be asked to do it and um and like i said on the thing i was like it is one of the greatest joys of my career that i'm friends with bob saget like

it's just it really is and i say that with no um sarcasm like it's just like you know you're just the it's just cool to call you my friend so um this is my favorite my favorite foom my favorite zoom of the year i well i love when i talk lot. I love when I talk Dr. Seuss. Oh, he's canceled. Shit, sorry. Just two and a bump. John Mayer got involved with the Scleroderma. Research Foundation, and he had done a benefit for me.

And it was a long time ago. Now it was like 15, 18 years ago. And my dad passed away like a week before or something. And he was going through some loss, but he wanted to be there for me as a friend because we just kind of hit it off immediately. Did he lose one of his watches or something? No, he didn't have all those watches back then.

I steal one every time I go over his house. And then we went to the Laugh Factory and he wanted to do stand-up and he tried it and he had never done it before. He's good and it's annoying. Well, not the first time. It was subjectively difficult and so Jamie

still passed him as a regular. Right. Jamie Masada at the Laugh Factory who determines who gets on. I would think, yeah. But John Mayer is funny in that video. He's really funny hilarious he's really funny really funny and his new music is insane i mean i actually have one of those i have the new album a couple of them have been hits already on this album because they hadn't been released except

but one new song uh which i won't train no that's that's amazing he just did that yeah the other night on kimmel but there's another one um well well I'll remember he's one of the best ever he's and one of the best guitarists and nicest voice but he's a he's also a genuine person and Jeff Ross was there who's also your friend you know he's yeah I mean these are all people that I I love and will get along with so I okay so I'll go I'll go to the camp I'm invited now well wait no I'm not let's get to the news I'll go. I'll go to the camp. I'm invited now. Wait, no, I'm not. Let's get to the news. But I will be. I'll do it in 10 years and get arrested for trespassing. It'll be great. Andrew, what news?

Let's get to the news, Andrew. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, man. I hope you're having a good time out there and having all the swells. Only 33% of Americans would take an immortality pill. And men are more likely to take it than women.

Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. I was really wondering, if someone gave me a pill that I could live forever, would I take it? And what age would you pick? Oh, so you stop aging when you take it?

Yeah, you stop aging. Yeah. I thought you would take it now and just be as you... No, so if you're in your 70s, a lot of people in their 70s pick like 42. I would pick 37 right now. I feel like I'm in my best. I'm in my prime.

I feel good. I feel like I've done the work. I feel happy. I feel like attractive. I feel like my body's not failing me yet. And I would actually not take it because I don't want to live forever because I think the world is going to end pretty soon, like in the next 15 years.

And I don't want to be walking around a barren wasteland by myself for the rest of it. What about you, Bob? What age and would you take it? Well, they say in the Motorcycles Guide to the Galaxy, the secret to life is 42. So I probably would have taken it then. But I was having a rough time. I got divorced then. So I don't want to repeat that. But that doesn't mean you're going to repeat your actions. But I mean, it does. does actually there's no free will oh okay so it's that way okay so but if it's like a wonderful life where you go back and see what good you meant to the world then maybe it doesn't you live your life you don't take the damn pill unless there's complete

peace on earth and all the liars and horrible people and torturers online are gone i'd take it right away because then i'd go wow it's going to be goodness and beauty forever but that ain't happening so i think that ain't happening but it will just do i stay erect if i take it yeah okay you can be erect the whole time you can any sitting up i just meant sitting upright oh okay i thought you meant a wreck oh no you guys a wreck well i Well, I'll be a wreck no matter what. How old would you be? What would be the perfect age? Physically, Bob, I want to know. How old are you now, Bob?

I can't believe it. Nikki, I'm 65 years old. 65. You look amazing. I can't. You make that age look like something inspired. I have a paper clip on the back of my neck holding it together. And all my lower stuff, i had my fupa removed um what age physically for your

body was when you go that was the best like where but before what was the age where you go things are starting to fall apart because i think i am starting to hit that age where like you you trip and then like your foot moves a weird way and now you're injured well it's funny because dana carvey has a bit that everybody stole when uh he had a joke about being 50 when he turned 50 and he said you know i broke my arm how i i picked up the phone you know yeah my back i broke my back how i sat up you know i got up you know and it's that it's a common premise but not but dana carvey's actually been a source for a lot of original material that people have just borrowed forever but it's a common premise but not but dana carvey's actually been a source for a lot of original material that people have just borrowed forever but it's true at 50 there are things that happen to you but i don't have those problems i guess in my um late 30s i was probably in the best

i had like a four pack at that time whoa hell yeah but i was an eight track and a four pack i do pilates i i do pilates you do yes that's. That's a woman's name, but I do it. You can't say that. You can get canceled for that. No, you can say that. You can say yoga. I was working on. You can't say that because she's non-binary and you should have.

Pilates is. I like a woman who is binary because that means she likes any number. But I don't know. It doesn't mean anything. Sometimes you just say something on a moped. That's what I like about Bob. Yeah, in a moped. Every joke for me ends the way an Avenger lands on the ground at the end of their flight.

Oh, my God. Where they land with one knee up. And it has to do with the CGI of it all. It has to. Oh, that's hilarious. They can run it backwards or forwards, but they land. one knee up and it has to be has to do with the cgi of it all it has to oh that's hilarious run it backwards or forwards but they land you are someone who takes risks when you talk you say things sometimes and i go i don't even know and but sometimes you hit a bullseye and sometimes

it's just funny at how it makes like inside a moped does not make any goddamn sense living on a moped does in is a weird choice of words it's an apartment it's just another word for apartment yes um i i love it uh i wonder why women are more likely to not want to live because our lives are worse is that accurate more more women would not want more women well that was out of 900 people in texas so oh that that's the thing is everybody always goes i heard i go what's your source i heard what oh that's what the joke everybody always goes, I heard. I go, what's your source? I heard. Oh, that's one of the joke that I'm going to use forever.

When you just said it reminds me of your own joke. I read this thing. And I wrote it down. You said a fact and you go, that's true. I read it. And you go, I wrote it down and then I read it. But I read it. That is so funny.

Well, that's where we're at. That joke has become reality. That joke. Anybody. You need to bring that back. Will you put that joke back in your, like take all the jokes from that. I will.

I will. People don't know. Your crowd that's coming to see you now, I don't like this idea of how we have to always have new material. That stuff has not been seen and now you are such a better comic than you even were then

and you can add more to it. You need to go back and rehash all those jokes. We need to see those. And you know why? Because people are going to steal those jokes, not knowing because parallel thought. And you need to be like, I was there first

and get them out there again. I need to hear that joke. Seinfeld did a whole special of his best jokes. I know. But I had a joke that I did once on The Tonight Show. And then it was in Newsweek as a cartoon two weeks later. No, without crediting me, of course, because it was common thought. And then Johnny Carson did it three weeks later because one of his writers probably said it because they forgot that I was a guest saying it.

The joke is it was when they put kids on the milk cartons. And I said they have just Paul Newman is on salad dressing. This is a long time ago. I said, does that mean he's missing? And that was a joke. But then there's two more parts to it. Then Chef Brady, he must be gone for like 25 years. And that and then this is the real punchline.

But that guy on the Quaker Oats box, I don't think we're ever going to see him again. That was because the Quaker look of a guy oh yeah it's so funny very risky to come out saying what a good joke that was no it's i love the layers to it and again it goes to an absurd place where you go i don't even know but that of course it makes sense we're not going to see that guy again he's been long gone but it starts in a very sad place because it's about milk cartons. And that started by a friend of mine who passed away. They were doing a TV movie called Adam and they went to Washington and they

lobbied because they had a friend that had couldn't, that lost their child. It was missed. The child was missing and they lobbied and got children's pictures on the milk cartons they did that in their life and they said that is so alive so that that's what happens when you do a joke like that you're going well what's the root of that joke and you go god that's the root of it and so you make comedians do light of it and not because it's so tragic that's how we process painful things yeah all

the vegan kids on the oat milk people get i'm doing material about molestation uh like big chunks of it on my upcoming special and tour and i haven't been molested so it's a little bit like why do you get to talk about this but do you think you should subject yourself to that so you could at least be honest i mean i am open i'm going to therapy right now and trying to have a therapist like like plant it into my psyche you know how they do that sometimes where they like make you feel like you've been molested and then they you alienate they alienate you from your family so that he can charge you a lot which has happened to me before but no i um i just feel like anyone that could get upset about i'm not gonna not talk about something

because it's not like happened to me and i don't have this like green like well it is i i have three daughters right and i need to talk about it and we do and it is one of the most horrific things on this earth and if if uh you know a lot of us go hey cancel culture is too much and but when it comes to something like a woman's right and they're being violated by guys, cause that's how guys have been since the beginning of time, uh, that there's, I relish that we're able,

I don't use relish, but I relish that we're able to, what we're able to stop it, put it out there more. So if, if all the material you're doing is obviously anti, it's anti-molestation, correct?

It is. It's, it's pro. If you've been molested, it's not your and like here's the here's a bright side of it and it's about and it's just about i don't care if it is pro or whatever it is the fact that i just even can say the word like you can't you shouldn't do rape jokes and i've said this a million times on my podcast but i just get defensive of it because i think we as comedians should make light of terrible things because it gets us talking about them, even if it's making light of it. And it's like you shouldn't make light of the serious thing.

At least I'm saying the word molestation and putting it out there so that people that have been molested feel less alone. The thing that happened to them is being talked about publicly because when we say we put sanctions on things or you go you can't make jokes about that it's helping the peep it's helping the molesters because if you keep a hush-hush taboo thing over a whole uh like over something that could happen to so many people and does happen constantly to so many people you the the um abusers win they win because they get to still work in this uh world where we just don't talk about that and they get to keep doing it because the victims feel like i can't talk about i can't joke about it you can do whatever you want about it you need to talk about it those people that harm people uh especially women should be put away and they should be stopped and

when you're able to talk about it that's so brave of you to say well it's the truth i got i got too many women in my life that i care about and uh i've never i was never even gone uh oh it's nice of me to say it's so so kind i guess you're just such a hero for saying that rapist should be put away and the award for most anti-molestation goes to but i mean you know anything that upsets us the most some people don't want to joke about it and i respect that they don't even want to talk about it they want to i get that they want to talk about you and it triggers you pizza you know but they don't even want to talk about things that would upset someone religion but how many people choke on pizza a year tell me that tell me those numbers don't think i wasn't thinking of a penis joke just to switch that pizza right out i definitely have seen people leave the room when i've brought up abortion miscarriage all these uncomfortable topics that might trigger

someone and i go you know what that girl might go and cry in the bathroom and i hope that she writes to me and i get to have a private conversation with her about a private conversation would be great rather than getting an attack online where someone thinks and you don't get to represent what your truth is which is yeah i care a lot i'm not whatever you read from some moron and also look there have been so many jokes i mean we both love sarah silverman and she did so many jokes over the years that dealt with things that are incredibly painful and then she publicly said on her podcast that she's also not unlike myself there's a lot of stuff she said that she would not say today and she i would yeah i'm responsible i mean this this stuff there's stuff that i've said to you on here that i would like to retract i listen we i i agree with you

yeah it's uh it's i always just think if that maybe if i triggered one girl because and i'm I agree with you. I say stuff all the time. Pizza. Yeah. It's, it's, I always just think if maybe if I triggered one girl, and I'm talking about rape and she has to go to the bathroom and maybe it ruins her night, I know that that's

a terrible fallout for making fun of something that happened to her or making light of it seemingly as she perceived it because it's her perception and she's entitled

to her feelings. However, I would not do that joke if I didn't think that the good it could actually do is more than the pain it caused that one person and i i always and maybe i'm wrong but i i don't i don't i i always consider that that yes i might be triggering individual people who've been molested and maybe don't want to hear about that right now on their night out and um trigger I should maybe do a trigger warning before my shows. But because that is a real thing and they can't help that they're having

like a visceral PTSD response just hearing about it. But I do think the good about me talking about these subjects and what I've learned from my research about them through comedy is going to do more good than that one or two people that might be sad. And I, but they are also entitled to their feelings.

Next story. All right, should we go to Why Do I Care? This is our showbiz segment and we just try to find meaning out of a dumb showbiz headline. Why do I care? Why do I care, Andrew?

Paris Hillen said that it felt pretty scary when she once got an offer to make sex dolls just like her. So the big answer, the big is, how much did she make? Of the sale of the doll? Listen, I would definitely,

I love when porn stars have molds of their vaginas, where you're like, you could fuck this porn star. It's like, okay, well, that's cool. I wouldn't have a problem making a sex doll for myself or a mold of my lower half that's cool i wouldn't have a problem making a sex doll for myself if my like or like a sex uh like like a mold of my lower half for uh someone i was in love with to fuck if they were like on location like if i was dating someone that like had to be out of the seas i'd go bring my like butt with you that would be hilarious you just want to get a mold or if he's mad at you he could

punch him in the legs you know yeah if he's mad at me he he could punch him in the legs, you know? Yeah, if he's mad at me, he can, yeah. But what if your director comes over and says, I just wanted to go over something, or your costumer comes to your room, and then all of a sudden they just see this, you know, oh, wait a minute, it's him having it. It's him having it. But I also wanted a mold of my ex-boyfriends. Like, I've always was like, I'm going on the road.

It would be so fun to, like, have phone sex and actually, sex and actually like have a mold of like what exactly your penis is and just like for fun I wanted a stuffed animal of it I just like like um and I wouldn't I would be flattered if someone wanted to do a sex doll of me because there are people that jerk off to me like and that I don't know that I put up a picture and they'll hold on a second. My screen's going to go blank for a minute. You just put a filter on your penis for your wife. Mom, what I, um,

no, I, I, I would not. Uh, and also I, I feel bad that I, I misunderstood because I had this crazy scenario that a wardrobe or comes into your room and sees your legs and your vagina.

And then that would upset your boyfriend. Does none of it make sense? None of it does make sense. The only thing that makes sense about it now that I think about it is instead of cheating, someone comes to your room thinking they're going to have their hit on you and do something wrong. You don't need me. I've got a replication of myself in rubber. There you go. Take with you.

And I'm out of the equation. Right. Would you be offended as a man if your girlfriend was like a famous person that guys want to have sex with and she could monetize her vagina by putting out a mold as like a like, like say you're dating me, comedian Nikki Glaser. And as a bit where I can make a lot of money i go babe can we please i want to do this thing where they make a mold of my vagina and like these pervy dudes can like say they fucked me and it's just it's for a bit would you would that annoy you as a man it would upset me to no end and i think it's a

really good idea for merch oh it sounds like you have a lot more money than me, Bob. No, I, with my bank account, I would make the mold myself. I would let them fuck you. Well, you know what I'm going to do? Because you guys are so great. I'm going to make a mold of my lower parts.

And, uh, Nikki, you get me. I just want your feet. No, you get the feet, but,

um, let me just say the other other half my lower parts i want your well that's what i just well you're not the first person that said that because i don't eat dairy so it's really quite it's quite clean it's taught oh it's i taught it a lot i i can i can uh I can flagellate in any key. Charlie Puth would be proud. My asshole has perfect pitch. Fashion egg. Okay, Bob, let's get to our segment, our special guest segment for Bob Saget.

And let me just tell you, Bob, we're keeping this segment titled this for every future guest. So let's get to it. This is Burning Questions for Bob. Burning Questions for Bob. Burning Questions for Bob. This is Burning Questions for Bob with Bob Saget, our first guest for our segment called Burning Questions for Bob.

This is where we get to ask. It's a competition of sorts. Noah, my producer, Andrew, my co-host, and myself have all picked out one question that we think will be the best question to ask Bob Saget. The thing that people want to know that will excite people. And we're going to have a competition to see who asks the best question. I think Bob should be the one to judge after we've gone through it all. And to see which question was, you know know whatever best means to you bob in this

scenario so um i just want to say this whole segment is very triggering for me okay do you have to pick a winner i can't do that i feel bad for the other people all right bob uh let's start andrew nicky gets chapelle i should get to this you know what I mean I think it's only right. You can win this and you're getting my butthole so. That's true we are getting a molded I really do want a little like a almost as a coaster

for drinks. Wait how big do you think his asshole is? Well we go bigger we the scent well I don't know this is for Red Bull cans a coaster for Red Bull cans that is just Bob Saget's a mold of your puckered asshole. That's so funny because that's how I designed it. I'm using Red Bull cans because they're the...

I got a monster. Oh my God, my asshole goes crazy if I drink this sugar-free Red Bull. Okay, first question, Andrew. Burning question. What is your burning question for Bob Saget? Oh, so I got to go first? I don't know if it's good to go first,

but I think you've probably been asked this before, probably, so that's kind of already eliminating myself. Yeah. But when you did Entourage, right, you were seeing a casual fan of yours would know you from, obviously, from Funniest Home Videos and... Full House.

Full House. I was going to... You were getting there. If I said Home Improvement, I probably would have lost. No, it would have been fine. You could have said that. Yeah. No, he does things around Full house. I was gonna... If I said home improvement, I probably would have lost. No, it would have been fine. You could have said that. No, he does things around the house. He does home improvement. Half house. Okay, anyways. When you decided to

take that role, because for me... In Entourage, right? In Entourage. Did your agent or manager go, hey, I don't know if you should do this. You're gonna be fucking hookers and doing drugs in this role. No, they said that when I took the role on full house they were but like was that a big deal for you to go hey you know what i'm gonna show that i'm not the squeaky clean guy and what's there or did you already have enough money or i don't know no

because i'd been the stand-up that i'd been since i was 14 years old, 17 years old. So I already was doing the Full House thing in the America's Funniest Home Videos as a gift that I was doing family television. So it's just called a different speed. It's just a different thing you do. I've done plays on Broadway where I played a priest, you know, not all of them a priest. Every play I do, I only play a priest. But yeah, Doug Allen contacted me and said he knew my stand-up and said we want you to be on the show. And then they wrote it differently. They wrote it where I

was more like a downtrodden guy, like a BoJack Horseman kind of guy. And that's not who I am. And some people think that, by the way, that that's based on me. And I talked to Will. Yeah. But Will Arnett said. I've heard that. Oh, well, I know because i talked to him but will arnett said that oh well i know because they're idiots and will arnett said i don't know what you're talking about you're not

that's a good one you're nothing like me and you're not bojack don't worry about it don't listen to the idiots so that's that is so funny but it's accurate right but it's all rumors and i i'm just i guess being known bad press is good press dude i mean take it that's really true yeah yeah it is true though don't you believe that's true he cuts people's feet off and eats them that's not good press you know that oh i didn't know that i only saw oh i didn't do that i just i started it today that new rumor but um okay yeah oh i see i thought bojack horse but i'm like that show took us no no i was just talking about myself oh right right i was like horse don't even have that kind of mouth and you do have to cut off Oh, I see. I thought BoJack Horseman. I'm like, that show took a turn. No, no. I was just talking about myself.

Oh, right. Right. I was like, horse don't even have that kind of mouth. And you do have to cut off your feet. It is. It is an amazing show, by the way. It's a great. It is.

I would be flattered. Great, great show. But no, it's not based on me because the guy's a loser and sad and all that stuff. Yeah. And anyway, what Doug Allen said to me is, what do you want to do? And I said, I'll play it if I can be like a ballsy, badass guy. And then he wrote that. And that's what I did like four or five times on the show. And I had a lot of fun.

You know, it was just, but that show couldn't get made now. And I wouldn't act the way I acted, which was quite misogynistic. But it was faux misogyny. But it was a character. And it was you playing a version of yourself. But it had your name. That's why I asked the question. Because right you know right it being your name obviously people connected it oh this is how really bob sag i mean he's awesome well we know how smart people

are so they they really you fooled me well but and i always go to the go-to is that anthony hopkins eats people because he played that in the movie so you know and now he's hannibal lector he was hannibal lector now he's the father so he has you know and now he's hannibal lecter he was hannibal lecter now he's the father so he has you know alzheimer's or dementia which means that he's still hannibal lecter to some people but he just forgot who he ate and then is he really uh a cannibal anymore if you don't remember i think you are i think you are okay if you ate somebody set them free okay yeah okay what bob saget just always tying it up in a bow that you go yeah that'll work that's why that's why i played danny tanner

because everything's like it's gonna be okay honey i know john stamos uncle jesse's gonna save your problem i know no you are bob you're gonna come into my bedroom and and and give me a hug and talk to me about my feelings and music will start playing and you'll help me process my feelings and know that it's okay to cry and then I'll realize you're not there you're on the road and it's just your rubber vagina and legs

and Stamos is already fucking it well then I run I videotape it on my phone and I basically hold him ransom. Oh my god. I'm Nikki. I was going to make a Tanner joke. I always related to Stephanie Tanner but I was like I'm Stephanie self Tanner.

If you saw her feet right now. Oh my god. It's just like stripes of orange. Okay Bob. Second burning question. I will, I will do mine, Bob, who you don't name, need to name names, but you can just tell us,

um, what you witnessed. What's my father. And I can't believe it. And it was a sheep. Okay, Noah, your questions up.

No. What was the most egregious abuse of power? You witnessed that you can talk about from a celebrity who you may have thought uh good things about before you met them and then you go oh my god what a monster uh i just want to i can't be you it can't be you yeah you have to do someone other than yourself like those uh you know james Corden bits where you have to either drink the hot sauce or. Right. Yeah. You don't have to say what this is.

I just want to see a behavior of a celebrity you witnessed where you go, whoa, that person is not what I thought or that's not what I want to be. Yeah. I can't say who it was, but it was it was scary and it was uh it was not what i expected and uh and the person has uh i believe been met with justice for oh that kind of behavior oh good i because i you know it could be a lot of people i know yeah i'm just trying to think it's everybody but OJ. That's so funny. I, yeah, I've just, I witness things sometimes that I'm just like, oh, God. Or you hear stories and you go, I just want more people to understand that that person isn't what they claim to be. And, like, how do they get away with that?

How do they keep working when they treat people like that behind the scenes? Which, behind the scenes is really in front of hundreds of people. Like, you know, that all sign ndas but you know things leak and you find out who someone really is um i just wanted to ask you that because i also have witnessed it's nice to hear that they've been brought to justice because i've heard about stories about people and they haven't been brought to justice and i'm not the one to do it and you feel kind of like what do i do and you just kind of wait you know until and then you breathe a sigh of relief when it finally shows up in the headlines but it's a it's a tricky it's a tricky thing because you people we're even watching the morning show right now and it's about a guy that got me too'd yeah and

everyone's like who knew it and it's like a lot of people, but like, you're going to get fired. If you, we've, we've talked about this immense. I know you have a time limit on your show, but it's really strange. Cause I used to go on the today show quite a bit.

Obviously it's based on that, the morning show. And I, I'm just going to be honest. I always got along well with Matt Lauer. We had a television relationship. And there's a scene in that show where they celebrate his 50th birthday. And that's a big scene. I'm not giving a spoiler alert. They celebrate it. So I, this is really

strange. When Matt Lauer turned 50, I was there the day after they had a birthday party for him because he wanted to talk about what's it like to turn 50. And he had he had myself and he had on. Oh, God. He owns the Atlanta Mark Cuban Cuban. And he had on Scott Hamilton, the skater. And the three of us talked about what it's like to be 50. And you did that classic bit about picking up the phone and breaking your arm. No, I didn't do Dana's bit.

I pretty much, I think, just did two minutes of prostate material and everyone stared at me. But what was interesting was I was watching the morning show. Oh, my God. If this is anywhere near what it's supposed to be based on i was there that day that day after that party on the on air i haven't seen that episode yet but i'm intrigued to hear the one that you're talking about and i roasted matt lauer i don't like roast right and you've done a lot of them and you're amazing at them you've been roasted by comedy Central I was roasted on Comedy Central and some of the Gen Z believe that's the news

that that is the news you know what someone says about you is real because otherwise they wouldn't joke about it which means they don't know anything about anything because it's just the opposite it's dysterbia but what happened was I roasted Matt Lauer and this was

obviously pre all the stuff that came out and if I'd have pre all the stuff that came out. And if I had known all that stuff, I would have had an extra 40 minutes of material. I know. And then the button in his office. I wouldn't have done it. That's the thing.

If any of that had come out, the roast wouldn't have happened. And, you know, it would have saved me a trip to New York and making fun of, you know, Al Roker who accidentally flatulated in his pants once.

Oh, my God. That was so funny. I will say, though, you're right about that, Bob, where people take those roasts as news because there was a someone got canceled or was trying. Someone was about to, you know, they were making an effort to cancel someone in an article and they use one of my roast jokes about this person as like factual evidence of like, see, there's a history nicky knew he was a predator and i'm like i was just writing a fucking roast you know like this isn't you can't quote a comedy central roast in a news article but you can and it just felt so

dirty they came after me and it's weird because they go oh it's true because bob was laughing at it the truth of it is when they did my roast, and I believe you were in elementary school when they did mine, but it's actually behind me on the wall there. There you go. There's the roast up there on the wall. Oh, yeah. What happened was I was sitting there and Greg Giraldo, the late, great Greg Giraldo, who I loved so much, they started the roast. Joel Gallen's directing, producing. And I'm right and

I'm there he actually Benefit he did yeah Oh my gosh he just did the I heart rewards That I did and I love The way you're the only person you're very good Around thanks I didn't mean that in Comedic situation right you're talking about my

Upcoming Lower torso Porn film with many men oh my god you please you don't know how much i think about that all right well one nicky 40 cups is the name of it i believe but what happened was your rose to end my story which i'm talking too long you shouldn't have me as your first guest i should have been your last but no you're great okay you're better. But the thing is, I'm sitting there. Greg Giraldo says that I look like the Vlasic pickle stork with my beaky nose and my granny glasses.

And I'm just in shock. And I'm not laughing. I'm not smiling. And Joe Gallen over the PA goes, Bob, try to make it look like you're having a good time. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. And so then I start smiling. And that's what the Gen Z thinks. And that's why you're having a good time. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. And so then I start smiling.

And that's what the Gen Z thinks. And that's why you laughed at the one joke. And then that confirms that it must be true. Yeah, it's true because I laughed. Well, it's interesting that you weren't laughing because that is a huge part of those roasts is that you start getting hurt so badly and you forget that you're on camera and that it's essential for you to laugh and it's hurting people that you care about it's hurting it really is it's it's it's

not fun i don't know if i could do it again i enjoyed i enjoyed the ones that aren't televised that was the idea of them is they weren't supposed to be the friars club and the masters in the 50s i guess but i i roasted jack black uh for the Friars Club and that goes for charities. And it was 2000 people at the Hilton in New York. And I always felt bad for what a joke I did about Al Roker, who was there and he spoke and he was wonderful. But it was right around the time where he was so brave to come out and talk about what happens if you can't control your bowels. And he'd had an accident so i said as the host if anybody has to go to the bathroom please use al roker's pants hilarious

so you know i bet he loved that al roger has a great sense of humor from what i can tell he's amazing he came up to me and he went bob i went out i'm sorry it just happened it's three days old this news i said it's okay to hug you or will stuff come out? Oh my God. And that's, and I've since been on a show. I mean, he is one of the sweetest people on the earth. Yeah. He seems like it. I love, I love Al Roker. Okay. Noah, let's round this out. Bob, burning questions for Bob with Bob Saget. What is your burning question? Noah? My burning question is, I'm going

to assume that you slid into your wife's DMs, Kelly of eTravelRock. And I would like to know what was the line that got her to respond? You're very sweet. That was an easy Googleable one too. That was that's a really there's an article about it that I slid into her DMs, which sounds horrific. That's so crude. But what happened was we had a meeting. That's how you do it. I actually saw her. I was on that dating site, Raya, for a moment. Yep.

The only person they patched me up with was Courtney Love. And so because I put my real age and I didn't lie and I was out of relationships and I was just sad and so i had a jackson i'm on raya i've been on there for fucking 10 years i think so you no judgment here no right but i i love it yeah i was on it literally for two months but i was on there yeah and it was just depressing music of me just like in the woods by myself dude it just looked like a joke it was like jack handy it was that is so funny because if people don't know on raya you need to pick a song and then you pick all these pictures and your photos like you know fade into one another like this like like a funeral

slideshow for someone and for bob to pick a sad song with just him in the woods is so funny okay so you're on raya left me alone and then but i had been matched up with this person kelly rizzo and i looked at her and she was you know she was a producer of segments she'd been on a lot of tv shows and then i it lets you click on someone's instagram and she's just a decent good person from chicago and then i went well she's in media so i i contacted ro khan who's a radio and television person in Chicago and I said do you know Kelly Rizzo he said yeah I said is she nice he said she's a great gal I said well she I'm not matching up with her because she probably wants someone

that's younger and um and not me with depressing music and and he said and I'm in the woods in the woods and skiing by myself on the slopes. And so this is where they got BoJack from. That would that would have made sense. That would have made sense. Well, I was depressed over a relationship, not over being a drunken husband and a horse. But what happened was she he asked her, is it OK if Bob Saget? I asked permission.

May I send her a direct message on Instagram? And she said, sure, that'd be OK. What does he want? And he said, well, I have a feeling that he would like he likes you, but he doesn't know you. So he just wanted to know. And so my line to answer your question from 400 minutes ago was hey, it's Bob. Roe gave me, said it was okay to direct message

you, which means, Nikki, I asked for permission. It wasn't like I did anything stalky or weird, but it still felt weird. Nothing about this is weird, even if you didn't ask for permission because you matched with her. You combined old school with new school. You matched with her on Raya. You could have wrote a message there. No, I didn't match because I met.

Oh, okay. You just saw her on there in your age. And she did not have her age limit set to what you are. Because she's a younger lady. She's 30. She's sorry. She's in her 30s. She's 42.

Oh, she is? Yeah. Oh, my God. She should tell her fucking body. Well, she's pretty great. Make a mold of it for us. In fact, when we're done here, I'm making a mold. Yeah.

Please. But what happened is then i i just direct message or something like hey if you're ever in la i'll buy you 25 hamburgers because she's quite a foodie and or i'll buy you five lobsters i was like i i assumed that she ate like fat bastard apparently i don't know what i was doing he's offering immense amounts of food and i said i hope this isn't weird you know i I'm sorry if this was, but Rose said it was cool. And then she said, well, in fact, I'll be in L.A. in like two weeks. And then she had her entourage of people, her producer of stuff she was filming and someone else.

So I went to dinner with her three nights in a row with her friends. And nothing really nothing. There was one kiss, an awkward kiss at the end of one evening. And I thought, well, this isn't happening. And that's cool because I don't I'd never been a predator. I've been people have thought that I've been because that's the swaggery image that I put out because I was single. I've been divorced from my first wife for 23 years or something.

And so then I she said, are you coming to dinner tomorrow night? I went, well, I don't think so. Cause I thought there was something going on maybe. And I, but I don't believe me if there's any, I'm happy to be your friend, which I never really said with earnestness, but I meant it. And that meant I'm growing up and I was in therapy trying to figure out How to treat people better And treat myself better And not sever things

Just because you didn't Got rejected I didn't get rejected She was nice as hell So then I said Well I'm not going to go Because I don't think You feel that way about me

And it's cool She said What if I do feel That way about you And I said What time's dinner Oh yes That's so cute and then and then we didn't then we have not uh been apart since that was oh my god you just moved to la

or you dated not right away our first date was in las vegas a couple weeks later and uh it was it was really fun it was uh hilariously funny and And then we went to Absinthe. You got to go see that show if you're on a date. OK, Nikki, you bring your torso. Yeah, it's. And then we I don't know what we did. We went to Excess at the at the encore at the win. I don't know. And she's like, but we're in the DJ booth. We can't see anything. And I said, just wait a second. And then all of a sudden t-pain said come on up here bob and then the hydraulic started we got to watch how cool do you love sodom and gomorrah you know we got to watch the end of the world but um i love that story i feel like i i don't know i'm gonna call i think i like noah's question the best it got yeah i mean it's just like a side of bob but it's cheating that she

picked that she didn't know. She didn't know. Because he's not going to go against his wife. What do you mean go against? Yeah, well, that's the question. Well, it's Nikki choosing. Yeah. I don't know why I'm choosing. I just like.

No, Bob's choosing. Oh, yeah. Bob, what question was your favorite? The one that I the one that I answered with the least amount of time. And I don't know if it's possible to clock the shortest answer. Can you just ask me something really quick and I'll answer with a yes or no and that'll be me. You like cheese? Sometimes.

That's my favorite question. There we go. There we have it. That will always round out our burning questions for Bob is do you like cheese? I want. And sometimes he does. And that's why his asshole is going to be available in coasters very soon because he sometimes enjoys dairy. And that's why his asshole is going to be available in coasters very soon because he sometimes enjoys dairy. Now let's

move into the final thought. Bob Saget, thank you so much for being with us. You can go see Bob Saget live, which you know I can't recommend enough. Right now I mean, he is going to be in let's see where you are. I'm going to be everywhere. You can just go to bobsaget.com. Go to bobsaget.com Tuesday, Wednesday at Levity Live in

New York. You can see Bob Saget, but he's all over the place. Bob Saget.com and make sure to subscribe to Bob Saget is here for you. His podcast and follow his wife, Kelly eat travel rock on Instagram and you'll see lots of Bob content there. Thank you guys so much for being with us today. Thank you, Bob Saget,

our first guest. All right, guys, we will see you tomorrow for our final show of the week. And I'm going to go cut some cheese. Sometimes. In a moped.

Let's pick a different edit point for the owl. No, it's not perfect. We love you. I love you very much. Thanks, Bob. Thank you. Kuh.

Kuh. Kuh. Kuh. Thanks, Bob. Thank you. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

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on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships

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