The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #476 A Live Roast, Getting Ratted Out & Leveling Up Athleisure

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

The Glaser sisters are together again, and they’re asking for no drama for their mama after getting in trouble with Julie. Brian was a showrunner on the TV show that America needs right now: Tim Dillon’s This Is Your Country on Netflix. Nikki and Brian tried to dance around a show they worked on together that didn’t go over too well, but then they let it all hang out. Nikki shares her hot takes on why it wasn’t the best spot to be in, and they recall some jokes that didn’t make it on live TV. In her signature style, Nikki breaks down why people love to talk smack. Brian was at a football game and validated a player who was feeling down. In the Final Thought, Nikki’s all about leveling up her athleisure game, but will she vibe with Gen Z Emily’s fashion tips? Oh, and guess what? Nikki’s fear about movers totally came true right after yesterday’s recording! . Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast    Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast also french for mister oh monsieur monsieur what is monsieur but that is that's um that's sister pronunciation my sister and yes it's two words i wonder if there was some french playwright in the 1700s who made that joke in a play oh my god you're so right there definitely is but yeah like the the when you read the word m-o-n-s-i-e-u-r it's monsieur and that's bullshit yeah that's no one needs that what's the weirdest one in uh spanish where it's like really fucked up uh like those little like squiggly lines there's like an umlaut, which is kind of weird. Oh, really? Like A-R-G-U-E-L-L-E-S is Arguelles. Arguelles.

Arguelles. So that's, but everything else is very phonetic pronunciation. And what is that? What is Arguelles? That was just a neighborhood in Madrid. Oh, okay. I only know Sacacorcha. Sacacorchos.

Sacacorchos. And that's a screw drive, a corkscrew. Corkscrew. Yeah. We're here with brian too and noah i want to give a quick um hola um brian uh is a showrunner for a new show was a showrunner for a new special that is coming out tim dillon has a special called this is your country yes it's tim dillon this is your country i totally forgot to plug it on this yeah well no need to because it's blowing up the trailer is fucking going viral like crazy because it should it's so good um this is like a send up of a 1990s early 2000 jerry springer type jenny jones ricky lake talk show hosted by tim dillon

a one one-time special um where it's like people in a studio audience kind of like those daytime talk shows used to be um you know revealing insane things and it's all like unscripted and and the the you know the trailer gives you a good example of what it is but it was it i mean so everyone's so excited about it. Yeah, the trailer did amazing. It's one of the best performing trailers for a comedy special ever on Netflix. And so everyone's super pumped and excited.

And the response and the feedback is exactly what I wanted to hear, which is like, basically, why haven't they done this before? Like, that's what you want to hear when you come out with an idea absolutely um yeah why haven't they done it before again right right why haven't they resurrected this yet like we wanted this we need this now more than ever why exactly why why has it taken so long to do this in a new kind of way because exactly with

a you know no offense to jen Jenny Jones, who is a comedian. Yeah, Jenny Jones was a comedian. And Jerry Springer, who was funny. Yeah, and a mayor. Yeah, but Tim Dillon's an actual comedian. And to have an actual comedian host one of these trash talk shows is something that's never been done before.

I can't wait. That's part of it. And also, it's just the perfect vehicle for Tim. It really is. Is it a real? As is a Range Rover. Real guests. I could see him in one of those.

Or a Lamborghini. Yeah, a Bentley. This guy only does the finest things in life. Or a Rolls Royce. What was your question, Lauren? Wait, my question is, is it real guests? Yeah. Okay.

They scouted throughout America trying to find these people and their stories like the most insane stories and people who are revealing things and like you get a taste of it on the trailer that's right there's a furry there's definitely a furry in the trailer it's a real furry that's one of our greatest fears is that if despite all of our you know how we set this up that people watch it and they go it's fake none of it's real and it's like all of it's real to say that people aren't that good of actors yeah like this this this whole like it's fake thing about reality tv or anything like just remember that acting's hard kind of it's not like the hardest thing which i love david spade points

out in one of his jokes that acting isn't that hard because he's like a didn't a six-year-old just win an oscar for best actress he's like if it's a skill that is like takes so much work like how are these kids just like winging it and then winning best act like it's it's obviously a special skill but um yeah this you couldn't find this many people to be this good at acting that you've never heard of before that have no credits anywhere else so true yeah and some of these people are doing like these aren't easy scenes like someone reveals something to you and you have like a a regular person acting would overdo it they would go over the top and these reactions are like you can believe that this is how like just like putting your hand

on your head and going like oh my god like these are things yeah if you were an actor you wouldn't like if someone said i slept with your wife you know you wouldn't go like oh my god you would go you and if you're acting you would go like what the fuck what's wrong with you like on jerry springer jerry springer was like famously the most the most fake of all of the trash talk shows what the fuck? What's wrong with you? Like on Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer was famously the most fake of all of the trash talk shows. And that's why Jerry Springer would start a segment

and two midgets would just run out cursing and punching each other in the face. Yeah, there would be no leading up to it. That's the 90s, what they called it. Yeah, well, that's what they

called them back then. And you're just speaking from that time. I'm just speaking from that time. Were you guys fans of talk shows? Did you used to watch them? I didn't. You know, as soon as i caught on that it was like kind of fake i did not enjoy it but i i used to really like you know ricky lake and jenny jones the ones that i wanted i pitched to hbo i think years ago and it was like a loose pitch it was like a general meeting which

a general meeting is when you as a talent go in or like a writer or whatever you go in to a network and you just like talk about ideas like really like loose stuff you're it's not like an actual pitch but i did kind of loosely pitch an idea of doing like there's not an oprah anymore which i think i miss oprah so much where it was like you would have those fantastical episodes where it's like this guy episodes about hoarders and it's just like all it's kind of like morbid curiosity episodes where like a bunch of women who have been cheated on and everyone in the audience is the other woman or something like you know there was moments like that. But then there was like Tom Cruise is coming by to talk about his new film and the whole show is about that samurai movie he did and you know whatever it is and the last samurai yeah the last samurai the yeah that was i missed a show like that that had kind of everything but the sensationalist like what i found when jerry springer just became kind of a cartoon of itself i kind of wasn't interested in yeah what about you

guys i always liked richard bay for the sensationalism stuff whoa richard i've never heard of that what is that like an irish talk show no maybe like regional maybe it was i don't know but he had all these like preposterous uh shows and that's what i used to watch as a kid and i think it like really pushed me into going into radio and all that i think he was maybe a former not only did you watch this was like an inspiration for your life? Yeah, I watched Richard Bay, Sally Jessie Raphael. Oh, yeah.

You know Sally Jessie. Well, even Howard Stern has that kind of vibe to it. Dr. Phil definitely did. I'm thinking, who was the guy before Dr. Phil that wore the glasses? Phil Donahue? Yes. Oh, yeah. Not a doctor, but also a Phil.

He also looks like Mr. Phil. He was one of the originators of this format. Well, he died, I'm guessing, during your production, right? Well, so, like, literally hours after we wrapped filming. No way. What? We get the announcement that Phil Donahue died, and I

took it as a sign. That's a sign. That your trailer's gonna be the number one Watch Comics special trailer of all time on Netflix. That's what that means. That's a sign. That's a sign that your trailer is going to be the number one watch comic special trailer of all time on Netflix. That's what that means. That's so exciting. The trailer came out last week, and I was with Brian on the eve of it coming out. And Brian was working with me on something. We were really working hard on this thing that we did last Thursday.

And you had to put your fears about that almost on the back burner i'm thinking or they were just there while you were also working this job that had nothing to do with that like i kind of felt for you in that moment of like you have this thing that you're anxious about coming out tomorrow but you also have this thing that you're anxious about doing tonight that you needs all your focus like was that hard to be pulled in those directions or were you looking was it kind of nice that you had a distraction because i know you were stressed out um i was stressed out but not because of the amount of work or anything like that just stressed out about the how the thing would be received but no i think that day was insane that day was that was an insane day i don't even want to talk about that day because

it's a day that will it just there we did we did a thing last week that no one saw and you know what good because it's it's amazing that if you don't tell people to watch something no one sees it like i did not i mean you probably got feedback from people in your life who you told that you were writing for it but that's the only feedback i got too and i didn't put it on my socials or even talk about it on this show because i didn't know how it was going to go because the stakes were so high it was live it was in a realm that i'm not familiar with um it was it was filmed in front of a russian mob from the 1800s who were ready to oppose the czar we didn't know we didn't know how it was going to go but i had a feeling that it was going to be something that we needed to work out the kings

before i advertised it like because there was supposed to be a big announcement of like nicky glazer's gonna be on this thing and it was supposed to be a big announcement of like, Nikki Glaser's going to be on this thing. And it was supposed to be the day or a couple of days before. It was like, you get up, you know, in our business, like the announcement's almost bigger than the thing. You know, like I just had an hour long meeting about the marketing for the Golden Globes. And I honestly said in the meeting,

like this is almost more important than the Globes itself. And they were grateful, I think, to hear that because they acknowledge like it is, this is almost more important than the Globes itself. They were grateful, I think, to hear that because they acknowledged it is. This is going to play during football games, all the commercials, and it's going to get eyes on it. There's no eyes on it unless we kill this and really nail the tone of this.

When they came to me about this thing last week that we did and were like, hey, we want to do an announcement beforehand, my whole team was like, let's get a big enough this is a big deal let's like have a whole extra day of stuff it's gonna come out and then you'll get stuff from that but like let's have an extra day of the announcement and i said i just have a feeling we let's just announce it when it happens like that'll be the announcement and i'm so glad i did that and i'm not always right when it comes to the stuff my team is often way more right than i am but they trusted me on this

and i pushed back and said i just don't i just don't want people to expect perfection out of this and i think they will if we really like blow it up like nikki's gonna be on this thing so i did it it aired and like no one saw it i didn't post about it on socials we didn't clip it out and i i will say i am proud of it i couldn't have done anything better brian could have done anything better no one actually could have done anything better everything was set up for this to be as good as possible and it just um the the the circuit it was like the weather turned it's almost like something you could not plan and no

one really could have foreseen happened and it made it not go great. And that's a good feeling when you can blame anything but anyone. It's just like it's no one's fault. It's out of your control. No one could have foreseen that the Jets would win, which is partially why

that happened. Right. Okay. So I did a live like a live roast on the thursday night football if you want to go watch it on amazon prime there's i know so thursday night football amazon prime if you want to go back and watch last week's episode which i realized this brian if you weren't watching live you're not going back and watching an after show no one does that. Nobody does that. No one's watching that. No offense to the after show.

That's not what it's for. The after show is- Unless they're looking for you. Unless they're searching. So people can go back and watch now if you want. But you can see the clip. The clip was- There's clips circulating on the internet afterwards.

Yeah, of me? That's the idea. Yeah. There was one where Ryan Fitzpatrick posted a clip. Oh, he did? He did, and he said that you were funny. Oh, that's so nice. I didn't see that.

I was kind of like earmuffs. Yeah. I was kind of like horse blinders for this, because anytime I saw anything with my name on it afterwards, I was like, I didn't nail it in the way I wanted to, and so I don't want to hear anyone's commentary on it, because I know. Anything you'll tell me critical of it, I know. I don't need to hear it. And I just wanted it to go away.

And I'm still proud of it, though. The script is hilarious. My performance is perfection for what I was dealing with. If that was in a comedy club or there was a regular audience there, then people would be like, this is better than the roast of tom brady thank you it was i really was proud of myself for that but it was just there were screaming jets fans after it but the jets fans were only there because production and me included thought having an audience there will be better so let's keep the fans around after the game but the fans don't care about the after show they were focused on getting autographs from Sauce.

Sauce Gardner. Yeah. Sauce Gardner. No, these weren't just fans. These were fans who were so drunk and crazy that they stayed for a full hour and a half after the game ended to try to get an autograph from Sauce. Yeah. So we weren't, I didn't really think about like there's

just sometimes in tv production and in everything i think where like everyone kind of has a blind spot for it where you're just like no one even thought like these people will be drunk they probably won't be able to hear exactly there's no context for what i'm doing there's never been like no one knows to expect a roast after the after show yeah we didn't know players would be milling about behind me and these all these people would it was 11 30 at night they've been there since tailgating they've been there eight hours yeah and so there was like a lot of factors that we didn't that no one even thought we just thought oh my god that would be a good audience um they weren't naive it's okay i love jets fans now i'll always have a place in my heart for them i'm not mad at them they um they were just so happy that they beat the patriots which

was not expected right well not unexpected but like the jets never win and they never beat the patriots good for the jets yeah but this year you know i think you can say on paper the jets are a better team than the Patriots, so it wasn't totally unexpected. Well, the good news is I'll be doing this four more times during the NFL season on Thursday Night Football, and just tune in every week, because who knows,

I might not even announce the next time I'm doing it, because I want to nail it and then announce it. But this was pretty nailed, so Besties, you can go check it out. It's on Amazon Prime. It was last thursday night on the 20 the 18th um i think so yeah it was the jets patriots game you can't miss it um you can and i would love for you to but um or just google it that's what i did oh you just googled it yeah oh 19 thank you noah um yeah lauren watched it three times my family's so sweet they were so

supportive and so like you killed it and i you know there's like certain people you look to in your life for like confirmation that something is not as bad as you might think it is and i knew it wasn't bad i just needed to hear it from the people i trust brian is one person i trust so much uh when he when he watched it down and said your your performance was near perfection. When I read that or Chris read it to me from his text. I was like, yes, like Brian's not going to bullshit. No, even if even if you know, you're just not going to you. You might not say anything at it.

I was like, what could have Nikki done? What could she have done to change this a little bit? And I was like, I don, I can't think of anything. Everything you did was correct. Thank you, God. That's all I've ever wanted. It's just like you're playing Baccarat. And it's like you're just losing.

And it's like, well, that's why. It's because the game's against you. Yeah. I threw a Baccarat reference in so you'd understand it better. Baccarat is the only thing I understand. But then my sister had really nice things to say. then matt did too and my parents and and you know when i don't do well in something they just go like fun that was fun like you know like you could just get a set so it was really nice but um but yeah i'm glad that we get to do it again and try to nail it and it's like

really you know like doing live tv writing a whole script about a game that happened that you can't prepare for i mean you can write a little bit about the cities and the players and stuff but most of the writing happens during the game it is fucking fun i like yeah i was like you know we were talking about maybe we maybe we turn this into something else maybe it's not a speed roast or whatever it is and i was like no it was so fun like it felt like i was working in an emergency room during covid like it felt like high stakes high pressure it was triage it was a triage unit in this like in the stadium we're sitting there like in within a room in the whole production with the whole

production team of thursday night football who are all amazing people and so friendly and so nice and so like supportive of what we want to do and um cat spoon pickle i mean these are all names of words i just taught my niece uh wait pickle is the guy's name yeah pickle no there's spoon there's pickle there's sin there's cat who's sin ross you mean cynthia uh you guys were so on such a we were tight i called her you guys were you buddied up right away because you had to sin was the one that was transcribing the script into the teleprompter and making sure everything was i mean it is a but it's crazy we're like writing jokes that i'm gonna say in like 45 minutes that's right no and nowhere to test it nowhere to test

it we're just like is this funny like there was one joke oh we were trying to come up with like okay tony gonzalez is one of the guys on the um panel and the one that looks like a genie yes we said he was a genie yes okay he is so hot so awesome so nice he like came back and talked to us so endearing loved him so much and we're trying to think of like who who jerks off to him because i was like he looks like someone like moms take long baths too and that's what ended up being the joke is like you're the kind of guy that my mom thinks about when she takes one of her long baths and then we said that he looks like a genie that can only be summoned if you rub the crotch of a talbot a sensible talbot's pants and so it was just such a ridiculous joke i mean that one was so out there but then there was there

we were debating like because then we were like wait what's what do we really want to like these are the conversations we're having backstage it when there's like it's crunch time i'm like but like who's jerking off to tony we know it's like a housewife we know it's like a like we like the idea of it's my mom. But like, can we be more specific about who that is? And then we're like, it's like and then at one point I'm like, I think like it's like undecided voters. And we all really liked that. But we were like, but how do we get there?

Like we know how to get there because we already set up my mom. Like it's interesting because you're like you're you're brainstorming about a joke and you all like like you hit that lily pad because you've taken the other lily pads there and sometimes you will hit a joke like undecided voter and you'll go okay let's just put that in that doesn't work unless you set up all the things that led to us saying undecided voter in the room yeah it's like you had to be there it's like you had to see all the steps that we took us to get to Undecided Voter. There's nowhere to test it out. And we all laugh and we're like, that's so funny.

That's so exactly it. But then it's like, no, we got to get them there. And I don't think we can get them there. Maybe let's save it for another. Let's save it for the podcast. But there's just like, there were so many. I would love to read. My favorite joke was cut.

Oh my God, what was it? Okay, let's go to break and come back with your favorite joke. Okay, we'll be back after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money.

We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show

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Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed.

You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go

back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Hey, y'all. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls.

And I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart Series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were, how we want to see ourselves and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present and future all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It could be something that you love.

All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. We're talking about the last week's jokes that didn't make it. What was your favorite? My favorite joke was, between Boeing, Epstein, and the football team, it's been a rough decade for Jets. So, okay, that joke didn't make it because we had to take out one of the things.

Okay, I'm not going to say which one, and it's not the one you're thinking, honestly. The CEO of Amazon wouldn't let us make fun of the jets yeah exactly so they're you know because of you know these are two very protected brands that we yes epstein and that we admire and honor they wouldn't let us say one of the things of those jet like between boeing epstein uh between boeing and epstein it's been a rough year for the and new york wait what was it again it was just it's been a rough decade for jets okay yes um well so we had to take out one but then the joke wouldn't so we were like okay let's just use let's just say between epstein and new york it's been a rough year for the jets and it was like no

it doesn't work without both boeing and epstein or you can't just do it with boeing you can't just do it with epstein so you like lose a whole good joke yeah yeah not enough proof for the for the payoff um there was one reference to diddy's freak offs yeah there was like that i really liked it was like um at one point like one of the guys was running and he grabbed him and it looked like he was like pulling his thong out yes like it was like stretched out and i made a joke that like i haven't seen a stretch that big since i told leonardo caprio i was 25 or something and that ended that was written last second like literally that was written three seconds before it was like we have to send the script and someone just said it we were like put it in and um but before that it was like this is how this is this is the same style this is the

same method that diddy uses to get people when they're trying to escape his freak and like we all knew that that joke with what comes out from these freak offs is would come back to like haunt us like right now the freak offs are kind of like a funny thing to make fun of because we're like all these thousand bottles of lube and like the iv bags afterwards because these people are fucking so hard but we like we don't know the details yet and when the details come out it will be not funny to make fun of these freak offs anymore like i just know that like once we hear from victims like it's not gonna be like it it's we can make fun of it now so there's it's interesting to know when more information is revealed that a

joke will not work and thank god for the the nfl and amazon whoever said who vetoed that joke thank you for doing that and saving me having to explain myself in six months when the depositions come out. Because that would not age well. Deadly joke following the age well joke. There were so many jokes. I'm looking at the pitch doc now. There's hundreds, hundreds of jokes that we didn't use. I mean, not all are good, obviously.

But there's a bunch of ones that are good that we didn't get to use and we'll never get to use. Because we're not going to see the Patriots and the Jets again and we're not going to see these players again and so it's just they're just gone and Aaron Rodgers like he's it was great having him in the game because he is culturally wide like

widely known even I know him and I before Travis Kelsey didn't follow football at all um and did we say at one point he looks like an like a i don't even want to be mean but he looks he looks older than he is he looks like a wise old tree or something oh yeah that was which i couldn't use because it did it almost felt racist even though he's white. I didn't even know what to make of that, but it did hit me hard. Yeah.

God, that one we even put in the... What do you call him? Bro Rogan. It's a script graveyard. Oh, yeah. We called him Throw Rogan. Throw Rogan was a great one. Yeah.

And then there was one about... You know what didn't make it? What? That we could probably use again and who cares because the overlap between people who listen to this podcast and people who watch that is not too much and it's fine um is uh the thing about the helmet the the guardian helmet the guardian helmet okay so one of the players is wearing a guardian helmet which is like a safer helmet it has like extra padding and you look like he looks like the epcot

center ball like it's like just a bigger ball around the head and the only reason not everyone wears it is because it looks dumb yeah and it also kind of looks like a condom like it's kind of like a put on like you strap it around your helmet so it looks like a it's like a cap and it's called the guardian cap but we said we said it sounds like maybe people don't maybe players aren't wearing the guardian cap because of the like the branding of it why don't you rename it guardian cap sounds like something you win after you like at bible camp because you read the most bible like it was something about that you read the bible the quickest or something yeah yeah yeah um and then there were some good jokes about that

guardian cap so we'll maybe we'll save those if there's even one player that uses it as well it's just so funny to me that there's something that could make the sport way safer but they don't wear it because they might look kind of gay it's ridiculous it's really funny to me but does it get in the way of playing at all? Is there another reason they're not all wearing it? I guess there might be some people who say it's on the margins, but it slightly affects my speed or something like that. Sure, but doesn't a little towel

hanging off your waist also affect your speed? There's a lot of little things flying around. It's so cool to take off the towel and throw it behind you. I worry so much about their braids. When they have braids hanging they're hanging out i'm like oh my god do they get because as someone who has hair for brains at first i was like yeah that's the biggest one yeah no their braids when they're hanging off the out and like even like uh

you know george kittle with like long hair who i said i looked like any like put up your hair i'm so scared of your hair getting ripped out but but I guess guys just don't care. Because I asked Chris, I was like, is there ever a dread that's pulled out? And he's like, oh yeah, happens a lot. I'm like, no, that would hurt so bad. And it's so much hair in one dread. Also, players who have dreads,

their helmets fall off a lot easier, I've noticed. Because the dreads are so big that the helmet can't stay on. But I've got to imagine, in a, because the dreads are so big that the helmet can't stay on. Okay. But I got to imagine, in a way, the dreads are kind of like a guardian helmet on the inside.

Oh, I think it would be a lot more padding because, yeah, that's a really good point. They should do a study. So if they invert the padding, wouldn't that just be more safe and then they could just do the regular shell of the helmet? What they should do is they should take a helmet and then just put dreads on the outside.

There we go. So then it's cool and safe. It's like those ski helmets that used to have like the, like they have like the stuff going off. Like almost like a, what's his name? From Simpsons. Noah. Sideshow Bob. Thank you.

Thank you. Lauren, did you know that in football, only all the offense or only all the defense were on the field at the same time? Like, for one team. Yeah. You knew that if the team was on a team on the field, it's only all of the

offense. Offense and defense aren't ever on the same... Oh, no. I did not know that. I didn't know it either. Because why would we because basketball has both soccer has both every other hockey has every other sports teams have both they don't have and it would make sense that a game has offense and defense yeah against each other someone told me that that's why donna kelsey uh when her sons were both playing against each other she said who are you rooting for and she said the offense because they're both they're never on the

same there so it was someone explained some bestie explained that to me but i didn't know that and i felt real dumb but i had a feeling you didn't either well good call we have the same gaps in knowledge um so all the good news about the uh the jets game is that it was a blowout and so the viewership dipped precipitously by the end of the game and so therefore very few people saw the post game as compared to previous weeks when it's close or there's a controversy when there's a blowout okay and what what is a blowout i mean what were we looking out at halftime what was the score halftime score it was probably like. Noah, are you smirking because you're thinking about blowouts? Like when Toby shits down her back.

Like busted. Wow. I saw that smirk too. I was like, there's definitely someone's thinking about shit just squirting out of the back of a diaper. Oh, baby blowouts. Okay, so wait wait so a blowout what was this game it was 14 to 3 at halftime and then they scored early again in the third quarter so then it was 21 to 3 and on top of that the patriots offense looked terrible like they weren't doing anything so okay so just the writing was on the wall yeah because for me i'm

thinking oh well this i would stay watching because i'm like the patriot they could come back and it could be an amazing game if they come back but that's just so unlikely i mean if it was tom brady's patriots then that could that could easily happen yeah because he was like always in the fourth quarter would kind of like turn things around right? But this was Jacoby Bursette, who is a good guy, but he's a great backup. He really is. But he's like a backup quarterback. He's a journeyman. And they had this other quarterback,

Drake May in the wings, who came in in the fourth quarter and he was fine. Wait, you know who I saw who I'm obsessed with that we saw walking in? And I forget his name and I'm so sorry. Yeah, Joe, it was Joe,

no, no, no, not him. The guy who said, he was doing a press conference, and he sneezed, and he said, he goes, bless you,

thank you. He blessed himself, and thanked himself. And I, ever since I've seen it, I do it every single time I sneeze. I say, bless you,

thank you, to myself. It's like a mantra. Because of him. And then and then i saw him and was like oh my god like he's bless you thank you and i almost got scared saying it because i thought he might know that i was talking about him um but have you ever seen that meme lauren uh-oh the guy oh my god it's so cute he's so he doesn't even know he's saying it like it's kind of i don't know if it was memed but it was clipped and it's like it was everywhere for a while of just like him just going like, bless you. Thank you. So, yeah, me and the boys.

Like, and he gets right back into it, but he doesn't even know. He's not trying to be funny. He just. Oh, it's, it's Quentin Williams. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you play it? Can you play it? It's so adorable. Oh, the dedication of different character things. Listen, thank you that i got here so i so adorable i love him so much oh god um i went over to lauren's house yesterday um had some time off and i approached the door and i just heard screaming inside like screaming and crying and i walked and i you know rang the doorbell and i think your doorbell doesn't work and then i knocked and then you answered and i go oh my god this is a bad time and you're like why and i'm

like because there's screaming crying and she goes oh no this is just what it is and i just loved that moment so much you're like no what like you didn't even hear it why would you expect anything different over it was like you were so used to it and uh yeah forest was crying because and arlo was just under a blanket not coming out i didn't know what child was under there it was just there's a lot going on over there it's but the kids are back at school right now they are yeah Is that so nice? Oh yeah It's so nice Just have a little breather to myself

It's not long enough of a breather What is it like 8 to 2? 9 to 3? It's not Well the youngest one is 9 The other kids are 7.30 And then till 5 Because they're in aftercare

Oh well that's great That's a good break Hell yeah It's really nice And 3 just comes up way too fast are 7.30 and then till 5 because they're in aftercare. Oh, well that's great. That's a good break. Hell yeah. It's really nice. Three just comes up way too fast. Oh my God. I used to get out of school

at 2.19. My parents were devastated. Do you think we screamed a lot as kids or is it a boy thing you think? Oh, Poppy screams more than the boys.

Really? Wow. But were we screaming a lot we had to think we were i don't think kids understand how loud they can be no they don't they don't and kids are kids are cool because they put up with a lot of loudness like arlo was watching tv and we were having a full-blown conversation as he was trying to watch his favorite tv show and at one point he was like you guys are talking a little too loud and i was like you're so right this is so rude you're trying to watch a show and we're just like talking over you yeah their tolerance for noise yeah it's it's wild so yeah i

i i wonder if we did we can't really talk about our childhood anymore on this podcast because um we've we have sneaky listeners who are listening tell that is like what we have people informing our parents of what we're saying they're telling on you yes yes they're my mom's quote-unquote friends are listening to the podcast and then telling her you don't want to listen to today's podcast there lauren and nikki really went hard on you and so then we find out that my mom's upset about something she doesn't even know. She hasn't even heard, but someone's listening. And I just got to say,

if you're listening, lady, I don't even know who you are. I don't know what friend this is, but I think your intentions are wrong. I think you're listening to this podcast to find things to then say to my mom, because you're jealous. You're jealous that her daughters are having fun and that they're successful in what

they do and they're good kids and you need to find some way to make what julie glazer has with her kids bad because you're jealous of it and that's just my take because why else would you rat why else would you say to your friend that her daughters are talking shit about her like that is so rude even if we were which we weren't we love our mom so much we were just complaining in a natural easy average way that you complain about your parents with your sibling yeah with your sibling on air on a podcast just like you do publicly dismantling your own mother but rat out like that is so uncool i know it's like new to you person who listened that like you probably never had a friend whose daughters are talking about her on a podcast but but also

it was embellished i think what was told but yeah dad was like you said some bad things about mom and i was like what and i'm like i really was like why would someone do that he couldn't even relay it so I know. I just think you're not a good friend. You're not looking out for my mom. If you were, you would not tell her things that might upset her. Or like, she has a great relationship with her daughters. Perhaps he's doing it to curry favor.

And be like, look, I'm on your side. I'm telling you these secrets. Which there would be no sides if mom didn't know we were saying anything. Because mom doesn't listen to the podcast. But then she doesn't get favor. She doesn't get to, if she doesn't tell. That's what you just want is an informant on the other side. No, I just think, and I've been guilty of it too.

I want to upset someone when I'm jealous of their life a weaker version of myself when i'm jealous of their life and they seem to have a thing that they have dot like i'm sure like mom's life is enviable she gets to go to the emmys she gets to like have a famous daughter like that could be in some circles down the mississippi river exactly she gets to go on a podcast she gets to go on a boat down the mississippi river begrudgingly because her husband doesn't hear her when she says she doesn't want to um but and she gets 20 off that exclusion yeah yeah yesterday okay but i could just see a world in which i if i was jealous of someone and my kids weren't doing as well or maybe i didn't like have as splashy of a family and that was a

thing that was maybe important to me and i envied i would then try to listen to find some some evidence for why oh i'm glad i don't have this because at least my kids are not a podcast so sad that people have and you know not saying that this is your mom, but people have these people in their lives and they're considered friends. It's crazy. Like when I hear people talking shit about my friends, I do not tell my friends about it. And, and I,

it's happened to me before, but like, I don't, I know that there's like, I'm sorry. I was looking out for my friend. Were you, were you really going to like be a,

like, are you just trying to stir up drama? You're just making them feel bad about themselves. I just, I don't want to know anything that bad that's being said about me. Literally ever. I'm going to put that out there to any bestie, any,

like anything you read about me where you're like, they're getting, they got you wrong. You defend me on your own time. Do not tell me about it. I don't want to know because ignorance is fucking bliss ignorance is bliss and also when people talk shit i think most people don't even really care about the subject of their ire i think they're they just want to release some bitterness

into the world because they feel bitter it doesn't have anything to do with the person. So you taking that trash talk and delivering it to the subject is a total waste of time because not only does it make your friend feel bad, but the person who said it probably doesn't even really mean it. Yes. And yeah, because anyone caught him at a bad moment, even me and Lauren talking trash about my mom on the podcast was probably

from a place of us feeling insecure about something and needing to blame something that's going on wrong in our lives on our childhood and being like, that's why we're like this. This thing that I don't like about myself. I'm going to blame my mom for yelling at me when I was a kid once. It all comes from a dumb place. I actually just found the um tiktok it showed up for me again or the real um that like really was helping me for so long and still does when i remember it was about like it was just some manifestation girl talking about what if you let everyone off the hook for everything i saw it again and i was like i needed this reminder so much it's so good because when you're complaining about

something you're giving it energy to keep going and like it it fuels the thing that's irritating you to like when you complain about it although i love complaining and i love talking shit and it is a way to connect with people it is a way to like forge friendships and those friendships are based on bullshit but it's still sometimes no i mean me and rob nothing else my best friend rob who will talk about anything like one of our favorite things to do is to talk shit and that's a real friendship and same thing with me and my best friend rob yeah we always talk shit sometimes you're just like you know you just want to like shit on someone who's succeeding because whatever you you feel like you deserve

xyz and just you just need to get it out whenever there's someone in comedy that's being talked about a lot and shit on a lot like we all know the names brian oh yeah it's those people have been around for so long no one's talking shit about them until they start becoming famous yeah therefore it is a hundred percent fueled from a jealousy place or it could be like a frustration with the world why is this person being uplifted that doesn't deserve it and it's like bad for humanity i guess but generally we're fucking jealous and people need just to admit when they're jealous i think it's really embarrassing my mom i bet my mom would be so mad you said that my friend was jealous that i have a famous daughter that's rude but she

probably is i would be i totally would be if i had a daughter that wasn't doing much and then i like you know or like someone who was dating a the guy who's dealing weed and you know just is getting a new tattoo every month and that's my daughter i'm dealing with borrowing money from me and then i'm looking at my friend i don't even i'm not even talking about someone specifically i'm just imagining and then i'm looking at my friend who has a daughter that's like seems to be happy and thriving which i'm not all the time you don't know the whole story it's probably why you listen to the podcast to get evidence that i'm not doing that well but you try to find evidence for why that's not a good life.

Yeah. And that's why people make, I've said it before. That's why shaming people for cringe things is a thing. Because you're jealous that you aren't going to be that free with yourself. And so when someone's really free doing something that's like, ew, that's cringe. You need to create evidence for why you don't do that. And the evidence you're creating is you making fun of it. And so you go, oh, if I do that,

people will make fun of it because I'm making fun of this. So you create the evidence to keep perpetuating you being ashamed of yourself and being too scared to actually put yourself out there and take a chance. That is exactly right you know what you're that's the second like difficult concept to uh to speak about that you've said in the last few weeks i think you also very clearly explained why undecided voters are undecided voters and this is the second time i'm like yes you put into words this feeling I had about why people do something.

Well, because I had to ask myself, I'm like, why do I make, why am I saying things are cringe? Why am I like sending Anya like a video of a girl that I'm kind of jealous of if I really examine it and go like, ew, this is such a bad look. It's not because I want to do what that girl's doing. It might be a bad look. It might be a totally terrible take and a bad joke, and she looks stupid. But I do really envy her ability to post it and to not give a fuck that people might be sharing it

and making fun of her behind her back. And maybe she doesn't care because she doesn't even think people are doing that. Maybe she's just stupid and thinks what she did is cool then i envy that sure uh and i think that cringe just keeps us in a place of of um of stagnation and like not trying new things that might make us look stupid and so kind of catch yourself when you're calling something cringe and let's try not to call things out that much that are because it's just, everyone's just trying to get by. Yeah.

And cringe is such like a high school sentiment anyway. Like if you're in your, if you're 25 and above, cringe is over. It should be. I feel like it just is making a comeback. I know. The word definitely is. Yeah. Cringe.

Cringe is cringe. Yeah. Cringe is a cringe thing to say. If someone says cringe, that is cringe. Even cringe cringe is cringe yeah cringe is a cringe thing to say if someone says cringe that is cringe even cringe even could like people they're just trying to be loved and we talked about it before but but but seriously don't be care we'll be right back after this 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt.

And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers.

But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and we pave the way for those that followed, You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right.

Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org.

That's SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Hey y'all, I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of Therapy for Black Girls, and I'm thrilled to invite you to our January Jumpstart Series for the third year running. All January, I'll be joined by inspiring guests who will help you kickstart your personal growth with actionable ideas and real conversations. We're talking about topics like building community and creating an inner and outer glow. I always tell people that when you buy a handbag, it doesn't cover a childhood scar. You know, when you buy a jacket, it doesn't reaffirm what you love about the hair you were told not to love. So when I think about beauty, it's so emotional because it starts to go back into the archives of who we were,

how we want to see ourselves, and who we know ourselves to be and who we can be. So a little bit of past, present, and future, all in one idea, soothing something from the past. And it doesn't have to be always an insecurity. It could be something that you love. All to help you start 2025 feeling empowered and ready. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls

starting on January 1st on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So I have a connection to, I sent you this picture over the weekend, a text picture of podcast favorite Rodney Thomas II the second oh that's right

yeah i was so you were at a game this weekend yeah not to bring it back to football but this is related to the podcast uh me and ally my wife uh went to indiana after the thursday night football game to go see the colts versus the bears because i'm a colts fan and she's a bears they only play each other once every like four or five years so oh my god yeah who won the colts okay yeah it was a good game um but we because it's colts versus bears it only happens once every five years we got like tickets in like the second row and it was like the most unbelievable it was so cool to be that close i could i couldn't believe how like these guys were so close and then i took this i saw rodney thomas did you call for him did you i called out for him but he didn't he didn't respond he didn't play that much either but um yeah because rodney thomas we interviewed on the

super bowl radio row podcast that's right he was on the Super Bowl Radio Row podcast. That's right. And then he was on the sideline standing there. Oh my God, he was great. That's so fun. So one of my goals throughout the game was to actually have an interaction with one of the players. Yeah. And I succeeded. Who?

Well, so there... You could say any names. Because Chicago is so close to Indianapolis, there is a lot of Bears fans in the audience. I would say it was like 50-50. That's fun. Yeah. And so when the, you know, during certain times in the game, you might have like cheers or boos for your team. And when you're the home

team, you expect the Colts, you know, the home team to get those cheers and boos. But in this instance, like the Bears were getting all these cheers and the Colts players on the sidelines were turning around and looking at the audience like, what the fuck is this? This is our stadium, and all these Bears fans are here cheering for the Bears and booing for us?

Oh, yeah. So then I saw specifically Tyquan Lewis, who's a defensive player on the Colts. I saw he was particularly upset, and it seemed like he wanted to talk to somebody about it. So I... I saw you're in. So I was like, all right, I'm having in here. So I went, I said, hey, Taekwon, Taekwon,

go out there and shut these Bears fans up. Yes. Yeah. And then he went, there's too fucking many of them and then he went out of the field yes he did need a connection he did need to feel validated yeah it was so cool and i looked around for a fact if you asked him about that guy today he would remember that guy that's right and then i i started floating into the air i was was so happy. I went up in the sky. That's so fun. That's like when Dave Matthews waved to me when I was in the 16th row in 2001. And I swore he waved to me.

And it feels so good to get a wave. Yeah. Because everyone was leaving the place and he kind of was on the side of the stage still waving to people. And I was just like on top of my chair. And I just saw him kind of like to me. And I, oh, it was just miraculous i mean nothing like that because you actually interacted that's so cool i mean i felt so cool lauren did you ever interact with anyone that you want to go see i don't think so did you go

backstage with like gavin degras or something i like i met him after the show yeah like how did that happen he was just like outside like signing really yeah this was when he was like i don't want to be anything no this was when he was a big deal i guess that's pretty cool that's gavin degras i think it's gonna be me yeah and then he had like a couple great hits i thought gavin degros like a country singer no no he's not um what was i just gonna say fuck um oh i wanted to get your read on the smell i'm wearing oh oh oh i haven't noticed it you haven't i d I didn't douse. I just did one spritz. It's Taylor Swift's new perfume. Can I get a smell of it?

Yeah. You want to just come smell my body? Here it is. She's smelling Nikki's neck. You smell red. Yeah, you like it? Mom said Taylor would never wear that. It's subtle.

Yeah. It's florally. It's not... Oh, florally. Okay, okay good i don't know if she's smelling the right thing because we described it as sandalwood yesterday oh yeah yeah maybe it's just your hair nikki oh it could be i did just put on like a hair oil oh i i'm doing a tiktok right now where i'm going through everything that i own that is a tay Swift purchase, not a Taylor Swift merchandise, but like things that she owns that I've bought. And it's a lot of stuff.

And I just sprayed it for the video. And I will say that my, but I just did get a lot of new Taylor Swift merches. I was talking about on the pod a couple of weeks ago. It just, it arrived and there's like eight things. And it's so funny. Cause two weeks ago when I was in LA with Emily, she was like, hey, why don't we try one week no Taylor Swift merchandise?

Like not wearing us. And I was like, well, I've got some bad news for you because I just ordered like eight new sweatshirts. She was like, Nikki, my God. And she's trying to break me of wearing the merchandise. And she got in my head about flares she was like no more flares she had a couple notes on my wardrobe is that why you just gave me some flares yes i got rid of one of them because i think they're still cute but i'm just like you know when one person gets in your head about something it's like it's not cool anymore

yeah i'm just like i'm a stylist saying none of that well i still have my black flares but she didn't say green i just gave you the green ones because i already did it wasn't like flared leggings okay final thought yeah flared leggings not in anymore apparently this is what you're supposed to do with your leggings and i told her i will not be doing this i i said emily i'm not in my 20s like it's ridiculous for a 40-year-old woman to dress like this. But she was like, what you need is joggers. And I was like, okay, how do you wear joggers? She was like, I don't want to see your ankle ever exposed.

She was like, you should never have your ankle exposed. You're Nikki Glaser. And I was like, wait. And she zoomed in on a picture she had of me and my ankle. She was like, we never want to see this part of you. It wasn't insulting. She was being funny. She was like, this is not fashion.

Like this is, you don't need to, you're like, you're above this look right now. And she was right. Like they were some high water, like it was like a bodysuit thing I was wearing. It was not good,

but it was my like airport attire. But she has a good point of like at the airport, she didn't say this, but at the airport you are seen like more than ever. Like you're seen by like lots of people. Yeah. Lots of TMZ pictures of people are at the airport. That's good point so she was like you have to wear joggers and then she was like and then you get socks this is what blew my mind you put your socks over the jogger

damn did you hear me like the 80s the thus you tuck your jogger into the sock and i said i will not be doing that that is too intentional that is to me trying to do do like to act like i'm fucking tate mccray or something i can't i'm not addison ray or madison beer or any of these uh i can't be 20 something like you might see an ankle i'll wear a jogger but i'm not i can't tuck my jogger in have you heard of this trend i've seen it but in high school students i don't think i saw that in high school students but just like the you know the tube socks yes but tucking your pants into them well what else you're gonna do with them

put your put the sock up and then put the pant over it that looks designed yeah i feel like that would look worse wait what do you mean that would look worse? That is the natural... Like, your sock is a tight thing. Your pant is like a less tight thing. It should go on top of the sock. Your sock is like going to be bunched up. The sock on the outside elongates

the ankle. The sock on the inside shortens it. But you're like tucking in your pants into the sock. I'm not saying I agree with it. But you're like tucking in your pants into the sock. I'm not saying I agree with it. It's unnatural. It's ungodly and it should be banned. It's not good.

But I will be trying it. I'm trying to think of other things she told me. I think I said this last week, but she's making me get a new backpack. She said no more backpacks. This is Emily week, but she's making me get a new backpack. What? Wait, who is this person? She said, no more backpacks. This is Emily, my social media girl. Oh, Gen ZM?

Yeah, Gen ZM. So Gen ZM told, that's great. Thank you. We now have a name for her that I don't have to say. Social media manager. Gen ZM told me, and Nikki, no more backpack. And I'm like, but backpacks are great. And she was like, well, just not your backpacks.

And she's right. They are like dirty and brown and they look like they're just, they've always been gifted to me. I've never like picked out a backpack that was like intentionally stylish, but she wants me to get a go yard bag and they're literally $3,000 and I am not buying a $3,000 tote. I just can't. It's not a backpack. It's a big tote bag. And then I just saw a fucking thing on,

on, on Instagram. That's from like New York magazine or some kind of like culture, like, uh, the cut or something, you know, fashion magazine that said,

um, on the runway, big tote bags are out. So I was about to drop $3,000 on something that's going to be out in like a couple months. I mean, it sucks being you because you are like in the spotlight people are gonna judge you by what you wear but it's just like you can't follow fashion it's impossible it's a bunch of assholes making up bullshit in some tower in france and we have to follow what they say i can't follow it

every five minutes they come up with a new rule it's impossible it's like a dog being tortured in that experiment what happened to right answer liking like fashion is like whatever you're comfortable in like if you like it then it's good like there are some people that go off of that rule and i like taylor swift merchandise and i like there are some things that are comfortable that i hate and i look like shit in and i i'll give that to you but i just well you would think if you just follow taylor swift you'd be correct because she's fashionable though oh well what about this you're buying clothes that she wears yeah that that is i do stand by that and every piece of clothing i wear that she wears i I never doubt its coolness.

Yeah. But otherwise, I am just, it really is, it's tough out there to be stylish. Lauren, I brought over a trunk of clothing to Lauren yesterday. And she walks in today and two pieces of it, she put together an outfit that I could have never put together in a million years. That's why I gave you those two things is because I'm like,

I don't even know what to do with these two things. And you put together this abercrombie um what's the what's the button-up shirt oversized button-up with these nice shorts designer shorts that i got that are like denim shorts and it's so cute well thanks but you're just good at putting things together i feel like this is so basic it is and that's the simplest thing is like so confusing to me i could not do it but you always look so great that's really nice of you i'm beginning to trust your judgment or um untrust your judgment but do you put your stagewear together or do you have someone styling you when you're on tour i put my stagewear together and

that's i mean that's easy because that's but that's easy because let me tell you why get a white boot get a white booty get a pair of black booties and then just get a dress dresses are already styled for you there's no top there's no bottom there's no jacket you're just in a fucking dress and so to fuck up a dress you have to really do something bad or shoes shoes can be tough but like if you do like a white booty you're kind of good to go for a lot of stuff and then like a black like pump and you're kind of in the clear but that's that's why i like i like dressing for stage because it's first of all, it's far away. So the audience can't really see it. And you can go a little bit crazier because it's on stage.

And because it's a dress is the, when a woman's wearing a dress, it doesn't always mean she's trying to dress up. It might mean she's lazy as fuck because it is a full outfit in one thing that you don't have to think about too much. Do you agree, Noah? That's true.

But people, when you wear dresses, they're always like, Ooh, someone's dress. i hate i hate that i'm i hate it too it discourages women from wearing dresses yes it does and women who are jealous of women wearing dresses stop saying some oh you look fancy you're either boring and you have nothing interesting to say or you're jealous that a girl's wearing dress and you are ashamed of your legs or something. So just don't be ashamed of your legs and wear a dress too. You can wear a dress too, bitch. Stop making people

feel like they're overdressed or going, someone's fancy. It is shaming. It's not nice and no one feels good after hearing that ever. If you've got nothing to say, just say, it's pretty cold outside and be done with it. It's so true.

That'll serve you for the next few months. It's pretty cold outside. In most places. It's getting cold. The weather's been weird. That will last you forever. Oh, yeah. You can always say the weather.

I mean, especially these days. Yeah. That's just tried and true. This weekend, I'm going to Vegas. I'll be there with david spade mom and dad are coming out for one night um holla's gonna be there i think with her parents for one night and also tim chris's brother is opening those shows over the weekend it's gonna be a lot of um family hang which will be good wait you said you're saying dave david spade oh david spade

okay yeah yeah yeah so he'll be there that's your met dave matthews band oh i wish yeah but also but i was playing at the sphere maybe you can catch a show oh i i would go see is he no no matthews wouldn't be playing at the sphere there's a there's a rumor going around that vegas uh rumor that maybe lady gaga is gonna do the sphere oh i would die she would kill it yeah i would go see that show but i yeah i wouldn't the the sphere show that i saw during the day i did recommend holla go see that with her parents because she's like look at this dumb thing my mom and dad want to go see and i go actually she was like i'd much rather like don't go to sphere unless you're gonna go see a concert and i was like have you ever heard my podcast do not go to the sphere for a concert go for the that that exact show the um i forget who made it the director

yeah yeah that it was so good go see that in in Vegas it's during the day it won't take up your whole life and the screens are amazing like 45 minutes plenty of time to get back to the tables it's awesome and then

I'm going to I think we'll be in LA next week so that'll be fun to do the shows we're gonna be together that's right Noah you're gonna be there

what are you doing there I'm just there visiting family oh nice is your babe coming baby's coming other baby's coming oh my god I'm just there visiting family Oh nice Is your babe coming? Baby's coming Other baby's coming Oh my god

Will we get to meet her? Yeah As long as you have time Because your schedule is the one that's really busy It's a little It's a little packed But it's not too bad We'll come bring her to you

Yeah we'll do baby's first Erewhon Oh yeah Yeah Noah and I went to Erewhon one time Have you ever been to Erewhon Lauren Oh, yeah. Ooh. Yeah, Noah and I went to Erewhon one time. Have you ever been to Erewhon, Lauren? You know about it, though. Fun game to play at Erewhon. How much does this cost? For like a loose

bag of kale? Yeah, no, there are some things. If you really want the full Erewhon experience. Well, first of all, Erewhon is great for people watching, but you have to go to specific ones. Like there's one in Culver City now and it's normal people but if you go to the one in like west hollywood that arowana is like if you want to see some cringe influencers who are all trying too hard with their hats or whatever they do go to arowana well if they're all there to get the hailey bieber smoothie that's like 46 bucks or something um no thank you i'm not

smoothie gal are you i like smoothies but i think i just saw one article that was like they're just sugar bombs and i have never been able to do it again so much they don't keep me full is the problem oh yeah well depends what you put in it if you make like a green smoothie with i have a smoothie every morning i get okay i see that it is sugar bombs if it depends what you put in it. If you make like a green smoothie with... I have a smoothie every morning. I see that it is sugar bombs if you put too much fruit in it. Yeah, like Jamba Juice I used to get all the time. Oh, yeah, that's just sugar. Oh, that's just milkshake.

Yeah. It is hard, though, to mix vegetables into your smoothie because it makes it taste like shit. But I know that my smoothie is not too sugary because it tastes terrible oh yeah yeah oh that's if it's yeah if you have to gulp it down and kind of hold your nose to do it yeah that's a good i've gotten used to it now over the years but it doesn't taste good and when people see me making it like my dad or somebody he's like that doesn't look like the right color and i'm like yeah because it tastes like shit oh yeah you recommended something to spirulina or whatever spirulina which is an algae yeah it's very good for you it's good protein

yeah earthy but it makes your smoothie really green like a deep rich green like you've dug into the moss of the field is it so it tastes like that's the way uh beets taste they taste like the ground yeah smells yeah um i'm going out to dinner tonight you're going there too yeah yeah we're gonna go to dinner i invited my mom out to dinner last night and she turned me down because she wanted to watch real housewives alone and i was like oh i could come over and watch hacks with your new tv and she was like i really just want to watch real housewives and i knew i knew this would happen so she hangs up and then um which was fine because like i get wanting to watch the show that you want to watch and you just want to be alone my dad was going out to play tennis or something she's like had

this whole night planned of like being alone and like yeah and um she's like i'm sorry nick i will do it another and i was like it's not a big deal like it was just an offer whatever and i hang up the phone and i i was at lauren and matt's and I was like, I bet you anything she's going to call back because Dad's going to be like, why won't you watch TV with Nick? And she calls me back. I missed it. I called her back twice. She didn't pick up.

She missed my call. But, Lauren, I got a text from her when I got back to my house. What do you think the text said? I'm sorry. a text from her when I got back to my house. What do you think the text said? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't want to hang out. Come on over. What do you think the first three words were?

Hey, Nick. No, like blank, blank, blank. I blank, blank. I feel bad. Yes. I feel bad. I can watch some hacks with you. I don't have to watch Real Housewives. I can't even remember some episodes i go let me guess dad made you feel bad because you had a

boundary you're allowed to want to watch what you want to watch and be alone i'm not mad and you don't need to be feel bad because i'm not upset i'm not really interested in making you feel bad about things you want to do or things you don't want to do good job and then she goes no he didn't he didn't make me feel bad i I mean it. Come on out. I go, I'm already home, but thank you. Sorry. I said, don't be. Now she's tortured.

I don't care. I said, I don't care. I mean, it's not that I don't care, but I'm not hurt. Okay, you're so sweet. How are the kids? I said, they were feverish, so a little bratty, but ultimately great. No offense. And she goes, aw.

And I go, look what i saw outside lauren's house so i wanted to share this with besties because i sent it to noah and brian i like went on a tirade yesterday about how like i can't i get really anxious about moving and i realize why it's because i don't like watching movers have to like sweat and like finagle things. Ruin their bodies is what I really... Yeah, ruin their bodies. Yeah, and I saw two men ruining their bodies trying to get the stove up these steps. And it was the most painstaking thing I've ever watched. God, lifting a stove up steps is so hard. And I just wrote to mom, triggered,

and I said things because of this guy struggling with a stove. And she goes, I kind of don't like that I like watching Housewives. I said, then watch something else or just enjoy what you like. I guess my problem is that I end up watching different ones and I can't stand some of them. And then I'm mad that I just wasted my time watching it.

Going to watch Frontline. That I like. Oh my God. It's about Trump. It's good. And Kamala. And I said, I hate watching him. I can't.

This is true. I didn't realize that i don't watch donald trump talk ever like i'm not kidding you the second he starts talking i whip away from it i don't watch anything on tv i ask people to change the channel i know that about myself just in day to day i didn't know that i literally not heard him talk for more than maybe two sentences for over six years now eight years because definitely it started in 2016 so it's eight years until i watched the debate the other night and i heard him talk for like you know because i was i was like i gotta watch the debate i just have to nikki i know you don't want to but you would do it and i was laughing so hard because he's such

an idiot and i was laughing i was like ch, I can't believe what he just said. And I was quoting him. And he's like, yeah, where have you been? This is the way he talks. I'm like, I realize I have not heard anything he said. I've only read quotes because I avoid it. So if you really want to, you can truly sit out anyone you want. If I'm able to sit out the most loud person and not hear anything they've said.

Because the other night, sorry to keep this show going. The other night, Bill Dixon, my friend, was talking about how his Twitter is just filled with like people dying and like people getting shot or, you know, people touching the third rail and being electrocuted. Someone's head being cut off. Like, it's just like so. And I go, you don't need to watch it. And he was like, no, it just shows up. And I just and I go, no, you don't. We you could. I go, go, you don't need to watch it. And he was like, no, it just shows up. And I just, and I go, no, you don't. We, you could, I go, Bill, you don't need to be watching beheadings or like people dying.

Why is that coming up on his feed? Because that's what comes up on people's feeds a lot. And because he's watched it and it gets you. He's engaging with it. So it's coming up even more. Yeah. But he's, he's claiming that he's not engaging. Go, go, go. up even more he must yeah but you but he's he's commenting on the videos going please send more

of these go he's he he made it sound like he's like being forced to watch these things and i'm like no you actually it is true that what is being served to you on your as you scroll is based on like they're trying to target you and they're trying to put things in front of your face you don't need to watch them i scroll past things all the time very quickly because i don't want to see what i think is about to happen yeah and so stop making you don't have to open twitter at all you don't i've never opened twitter i i have thousands and thousands of i have hundreds of thousands of followers maybe close to a half a mil i don't even know but I don't go on there anymore because it's a fucking cesspool. Like don't make,

don't say to me that you're stressed out because all the things you're reading, you get to curate it. You don't have to pay. And as soon as I was getting tons of baby stuff sent to me because I was sending it to Noah and Kirsten. And it got to the point where I was like, it's almost shaming me for not having a baby. And I don't want any of this shit anymore. Like it's not helping me. I don't need to know how to swaddle a baby i don't need to know how to make a baby

stop crying and so i went to the top of the the little dot dot dot and i said stop send sending me this content i don't like the content i'm getting and you can now it just sends you clocks now yeah now it sends me cats uh no it's you can really tell it not to so don't act like you're a victim to what's being put up in front of you do not watch violence do not keep like feeding this into your brain it's really bad for your brain if trump makes you mad don't watch him yeah like that like i know you gotta pay attention at some point but read about it like don't walk like just just bill being like man i've got i see so at some point, but read about it. Bill being like, man, I see so much violence all the time.

I'm like, because you're watching it. And he's like, no, it's showing up. Nothing just starts playing right away violently. You truly have to wait and watch it. So scroll past. That's my advice. Thanks for listening. Don't be care.

Come see my show. VickyGlazer.com slash tour for tour and Lauren thank you for being here and making my wardrobe look way better than it had ever looked on me it's honestly upsetting

we'll see you next week bye the Nikki Glaser podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast created and hosted

by me Nikki Glaser co-hosted by Brian Frangie executive produced by Will Ferrell Hans Saniani, and Noah Avior. Edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production, Mark Canton.

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