The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #477 VIP at Chiefs Vs Chargers Game, Vegas High Rollers & Who Hung with David Dobrik?

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

Nikki, Brian, Sean, Andrew, and Noa are back together in the studio! Noa and Brian are finally meeting IRL for the first time, and it’s definitely not what they both expected. Leaving almost empty jars in the fridge? Totally a couple thing. Tim Dillon just dropped his new special, This Is Your Country, and Brian’s got a request for the Besties. Nikki wants everyone to start questioning those so-called “authentic” videos on social media. She had the VIP experience at the Chiefs vs. Chargers game and felt like Taylor Swift—until she realized she was in the Chargers' box rocking Chiefs gear. Classic. Andrew didn’t make it to a pickleball tournament but did battle his social anxiety this weekend. Brian pulls out his Akinator app to figure out who invited Nikki to a private gambling room in Vegas. And in the final thought, Nikki helps a high roller have a major epiphany about all that cash on the table. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast.

We are in Los Angeles. Everyone is here, noah in studio hi noah hi oh my god i'm so excited i even get my little corner and brian have met i've never met no one person i was i thought she was just a picture on a screen then i see that she's full 3d is there anything unexpected about each other in person that you didn't account for is noah like shorter or prettier than you thought she'd be? I guess she's a little less significant as a structural being than I thought. Interesting.

Yeah. So is that a diss or is that a compliment? That's why I said interesting. I didn't know what to make of that. Can you stand up? Are you AI? I've never seen. Yeah, I thought that, you know, I guess you're wearing

the crop top sweatshirt now. No, I thought you'd be... Well, you're a little taller. Than you thought you'd be. You're a little taller, but in terms of overall structure... But still more significant. You're a little less robust than I imagined. Okay. You know, like a tomato soup.

That's Sean O'Connor. He's in studio too with us. The man who just a tomato soup that's Sean O'Connor he's in studio too with us the man who just said tomato soup Sean O'Connor I mentioned the bisque and then also with us is you know him you love him Andrew Collin hi

I don't know what's your favorite soup oh ever yeah wait why would I don't know. What's your soup? Everyone has some strong words. What's your favorite soup? Oh, ever? Yeah. Oh. Wait, why would the question be ever? Well, I've had different stages. Oh, that's true.

That's true. First was sour cream, and then I worked my way to more liquids. I don't know. I would say clam chowder. Oh, yeah. New England or Manhattan? New England. Manhattan, go fuck itself. No, I clam chowder. Oh, yeah. New England or Manhattan? New England. Manhattan, go fuck itself.

No, I like a tomato base. Me too. Okay, get on board. Are we just going to roll past you saying sour cream is a soup? I did because I just know that was probably something you ate with a spoon at one point in your life. My brother tricked me one time and said it was ice cream when I was seven. Okay. And I ate it and it was on him because I loved it.

And I had another bowl of sour cream. And I was like, this is the best ice cream I've ever had. Because sometimes you want a sour cream or a cream cheese or something, like a dip really badly. And they're always horrible for you right so you want like a lot and then you go okay so I'm gonna eat it

with crackers and then you go wait a second like I'm already doing this shameful thing of like I'm gonna eat the entire tub why do I add crackers

to it to justify it when really I just want so I'll just get a spoon in there and like eat with a spoon like some cream cheese sometimes French onion dip

you'll go spoon no I wouldn't but a cream cheese I've been known to eat it like... You eat cream cheese with a spoon? I have. Yeah, that makes sense. Here's something interesting. The last bit of cream cheese, I'll go with my finger around, and I don't even question it.

So it comes? What? I do. That's a good style. Like the rim? I love that rim. You get a whole scoop in that room it's so true but going right in the middle of a fresh cream is that's a strong move disgusting yeah with a finger especially yeah yeah but yeah finger i there's so much you miss out of containers

like our um on our girls chat holla posted the other day she was like does anyone ever does anyone relate to this you pull out a it was a jelly jar and it had just like nothing in it just like the remnants of jelly that her husband put back into the refrigerator thinking that something could be had from it i guess he like i thought he was just pulling the move that i do which is like i don't want to clean it right now i'll just just clean it later, but I'll refrigerate it until then. So it doesn't smell bad in the recycling. Okay. So do you guys ever do that?

Do you like put a full, an empty thing back in? I feel like I'm never more optimistic than when I take, there's like a little bit of peanut butter left in the jar. Yeah. I think that could cover an entire piece of bread, even though it's probably not even worthy of being put in the trash. Right. Yeah. Do you get frustrated when you see that that or are you someone who puts it in well here's the thing i'm i'm somebody who puts it back in yes this is like an actual uh recurring fight i had

with my wife that's what i found for everyone it's a somewhat one person is the putter in her and one person is the why did you put this back in there i'm just like i do think i could get a little bit more like jam. Like there's some there. And I'm like, I'm not going to be disgusting and like, you know, shove it into my mouth. I'll wait and like knife it on something. Yes. Or you'll scrape the inside with the thing that you're eating.

Now here's where I become very guilty and my wife is right is I did this two days ago. And then yesterday when I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I just took out the new one. I made direct eye contact with it. I made a change in my life. I decided it's not worth the time to try to scrape out the 15 cents worth of peanut butter

from the jar. I am just throwing it away and getting a new one. This is about time management. Can I say one more thing about containers though while we're on the subject? Can people who make containers, I don't know if any of the besties make containers, but can you stop putting the little lip

that goes underneath the lid? You know how like the container is a certain width and then all of a sudden there's like a lip at the top of it, like a ring. It's like a little bit wider than the rest. So that it can snap on. No, no, no. That's the outside. I'm talking about the inside Oh yeah So they're saving product

And then everything gets stuck In that lip When you're trying to get it out Yeah that's annoying Just make it the same Make it the same But they want you to buy No I know what you're talking about

I know what you're talking about I don't know what you I don't know what the reasoning is Yeah I'm more like preach Like I have nothing to add Yeah I'm just like you're right Get rid of that lip

Yes There's so I mean like Stop making shampoos and conditioners in like really structurally set like the way you described noah before structurally sound robust containers that are like you can't squeeze you gotta be able to squeeze and so then they get stuck on the top and it's like you know what's in there and you can't even cut through them because i'll cut all my like beauty products and like scrape out the stuff because it's like 80 bucks for some of these things and you're leaving water in it yeah get the rest of it out water shake it up shake it out i think a lot of people just leave it in there though for laziness is why i don't throw it away like because i'll just put it in the fridge the last last bit. I'll buy a new one. So I have like three dead peanut butters just sitting there.

It's crazy because the laziness is such an ADD thing. Rachel Feinstein and I were talking about this of like you just – I think a part of ADD, which I found that a lot of people just attribute qualities about themselves they don't like to ADD. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's like everything that you don't like about yourself is just ADD. But you just screw on tops a little bit. Or you don't

screw on them at all. That is a thing I do all the time. Or you just like, how hard is it to throw away something? But I'm stressed out by making trash. So if I hold onto it, it's a hoarding thing too, I'm sure. It's all part of the spectrum of hoarding. And I know I need to clean it in order to recycle it's a hoarding thing too. I'm sure it's all part of the spectrum of like hoarding. Like if I,

and, and I know I need to clean it in order to recycle it properly, but even recycling I know is a sham. And so I just feel guilty about the whole fucking thing. So I just keep it in the refrigerator forever. Yeah. Amen. It almost feels like, why do we do anything?

Like truly it should just, this is how we should just stay in bed and die. Like I really, like I think this, I thought it this morning i'm like there's just no point to getting up and doing a monday like the point about i was listening to tim dillon's podcast uh which by the way his new show that brian frangie is the showrunner of comes out yesterday it's out it's out baby go on netflix and this is your country watching it and

don't whatever you do don't hit play and then stop it five minutes in. That is worse than not watching it. Wow. Okay. Hit play. I'm going to start watching more people's specials only four minutes.

Well, yeah. If you want to hurt somebody. Instead of not watching. That's right. You hit play. You go, oh, I guess the algorithm thinks I should like this.

And then four minutes in, you hit stop. Then it goes, whoa. They're not wrong. Because when I stop four minutes before or five minutes into something, it means I literally hate it. They're right wrong because when I stop four minutes before or five minutes into something, it means I literally hate it.

They're right to think that. That's when you turn it off. If you last more than five minutes, you love it. Even six minutes, it's like my favorite show. Four or five minutes is, I think, about what I give a show before I turn it off. Commit to the whole episode. You don't have to watch it. Just hit play and let it run.

That's what I always say. Just hit play and let it run. That's what I always say. Just hit play and let it run. But I was listening to Tim's podcast, and he said, speaking of why do we even get out of bed, he pointed out the only people that get out of bed in the morning that are charged up about life are the ones that are wanting to create war, like the war machines. The gray suit, black ey eyed horrible people of the world are the only ones that wake up with like a purpose

in the morning to like make more let's start up he goes let's he just wants let's convince let's get people riled up

about a war in a place they've never been and he was like let's make this war look like a new bakery opening in town it was so true

because it's like so hard the only people that are motivated are scumbags. Truly. This guy's not a scumbag, but does anyone follow Tony P and DC on Instagram? No. Who's that? He's like a local newscaster

who is basically, honestly, if you follow him, follow him. It's the funniest thing. He posts his day every day and he is like a sim. He wakes up excited. He eats the same thing. He posts his day every day. And he is like a sim. He is. He wakes up excited. He eats the same thing every day.

He goes to work. He goes to like karaoke with friends. But he's back. And like, but it's just like he has the same expression on his face the entire time. Oh, wow. I think people love it. Tony P and DC? Yeah, Tony P and DC.

He's so interesting. What does he do? He's a weatherman or something? He's like a newscaster. Okay. So he's like, but it's just like, he's just like, he's always smiling like. He's not playing that up for the. No, no, he's just boring, but I love him.

That's why he stands out. I love him. He's so the opposite of me that I'm like, this is the most interesting life. Oh my God. When people, here's the thing about, and I think it's been pointed out a million times, but like oftentimes on Girls Chat, we'll share some kind of video of like, what was the one I shared the other day where it was a woman with her baby? Oh, it was, oh, it was a woman like sitting in a nursery and she's like crying or something

or she's upset and her baby comes in and be like, mama, are you okay? I want to give you a hug. And it's so sweet. It's like the kid notices the mom's sad it's like i'll make you a sandwich and she's like i'm just a little sad right now and it's like this bitch set up a camera filmed herself crying crying waited for her kid to toddle in probably didn't get the shot right at first had to do it again and it's like watch everything with that discerning eye of like why is this being who's filming yeah i think we've got at first we there was an era where we did judge things about like why are people like we you know influencers in the wild we like saw them let's reorient ourselves

to judge every video you're seeing of someone had to set up a fucking camera to do it. And that is why when I am at a concert and I am needing to get content of someone filming me at a concert, I can't stand when someone does this. Like Carla was at a concert with me with Gracie Abrams. And I'm like, Hey, if you can like get some footage of me singing and having a good time, but don't let me see that you're doing it.

Because if the audience thinks i know you're filming for me at least i'm just like that bitch like thinks she's cool and i and i'm not and i don't want to be performative like there are times i've had to fake something to make it look like i don't know what's being filmed but for the most part i don't like to i don't like to post things that where the audience knows that i know i'm being filmed so it's like i was like you can't do selfie because then it looks like I'm like singing to the camera. I love myself. Like, it's so annoying.

So I was like, just sneak it. And then I'm just going to do my thing and don't tell me when you're filming. And I think we've gotten away from that. Like, people aren't ashamed. You caught me once at the Sphere. Yes. I was dancing to U2

because I was just trying to figure out a way to enjoy any of it. It's way funnier to see. If people would have thought you knew you were being filmed, that's a lame video. Yeah, lame. And that's what people say about all my videos. No, that's not true. But like, I just can't.

If you're doing something intentionally funny, I get it. But if you're trying to capture a real moment, can everyone just like make some effort to make it look a little secret? But what's ironic about that moment is that it was me being fake. But you caught me doing a fake thing. So you were being fake for us? I was being fake for you, too. I was like, let me ironically dance and sing to this terrible U2 song like the people around us. Right.

So that maybe I can... No, that's real. In case Bono makes eye contact with you and is he's like, he's having a bad time. Do you have my keys? Oh, yeah. Inside. Well, that was one of the Sphere show. During the Sphere show, Bono sang a song about...

It wasn't even a song. No, it wasn't a song. He was just talking in between songs about... About like Africa? He was not even... I mean, he did a little bit at one point he said he like applauded ai yeah he applauded ai he thanked jeff bezos and then he said we all need freedom as if that was some profound statement just when you're dancing and then he asked he

was talking about looking for his keys he was talking about how hotels are too expensive which is one thing that's true about vegas during the super bowl the hotel prices am i right and then everyone was like yeah he is right as if he ever paid for hotel insane his entire life yeah i saw pearl jam and they were in the bank of america whatever arena talking shit about wall street oh meanwhile but like it's the bank of of America doesn't own that arena. They're just paying for it. Oh, yeah.

They're defending the parole system. No, they built it. No, I think it's just, I appreciate, like, I do casinos a lot, and I have started to call out that, like, this is a place built on people's addictions and families being destroyed. And it's really fun to do that in the beginning of a show. Speaking about why do people, people who get up on the morning the the only other people that aren't trying to start war are people who are addicted oh i mean coffee yeah i gotta say that coffee gets me up in the

morning food gets me up in the morning um and that's about it like i everything else is just like fuck and and the dog i mean but yeah getting up in the morning is well even like these people they go oh you can't drink coffee for the first 90 minutes because that's when you know there's so many is that a thing yeah you gotta wait for your cortisol your real cortisol andrew huberman yeah i can't handle it i can't i can't anytime he pops up he has bad news for my life whatever he's telling me to do i haven't been doing it and there's no way I will I saw the thing where we're now with AI you can put in documents right the exact documents you want to learn about and then they make a fake podcast whoa going over those documents whoa that's actually really

helpful it is very helpful but it's an injury it's Andrew Huber. AI will take Andrew Huber because he is AI. He just repeats what he reads in books, but he has a great memory. Yeah, and he can date seven women at the same time, which the computers, only other computers could do that. I don't know. I had a friend in New York who did that. That is so insane when people can do that. It was weird because i would hang out with

him like four times a week and i would be with him and a different girl every time and then like i'm like i couldn't remember all their names i think i remember like april and britney and that's it he was in like full-fledged relationship yes and he like i'm not gonna name his name but he he definitely called it his bullpen. Wow. Oh, my God. Did he have the same bar he'd bring them all to, or did he switch around the city? No, just taking them out, but, like, they all had a day, but they didn't know about each other, and then, like, what would even inevitably happen is they would find out about

each other. Oh, boy. And then he'd just have to replace one with- Get this purse on F-Boy. Oh, wow. F-Boy Island. Season three. Oh, I saw Garrett.

You saw Garrett? From the Garrett. From F-Boy. Wow. Return cast member- David. Season three. You saw Garrett from The Garrett. From FBoy. Wow. Return cast member. At David Dobrik's house. I don't know how I would. Of course you did. Why were you at

David Dobrik's house? I was in the trees watching. Wait, were you with what's his name? Gianni. Gianni. Gianni.

Gianni. Yeah, you were with Gianni at David Dobrik's house? For a pickleball contest for $10,000. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

Whoa. Did you play? They didn't let me. I thought I was playing. I definitely wore it. Yeah, I know. What did you do? Were you out of place?

Did you feel... Was it whites only? Yes, I felt 100 years old there. The only person I had like anything in common with was the one picking up the sandwich wrappers. Oh, that's David Dobrik's bad.

Why? Absolutely. Why didn't they let you play? Oh, no's David Dobrik's bad. Absolutely. Why didn't they let you play? Oh, no, Jason Nash was there. So we're like the same person, unfortunately. Oh, he's way older than you. I hope so. All right, we got to go to break.

We'll talk more after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more

from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wait, so when did you go to David Dobrik's house? Three days ago. Oh, my God.

Beautiful house. Of course. I mean, where is it? It's Sherman days ago. Oh, my God. Beautiful house. Of course. Where is it? It's Sherman Oaks. Oh, Sherman Oaks. Okay. I mean, like, he has his own pickleball court on a cliff. Whoa.

Like, it's insane. Did it used to be a tennis court and they made it a pickleball? Yeah. No, you would think. But no, no, it was actually just straight pickle. And did you have fun? I had a great time. You did?

Yeah. Oh, good. I drank a lot of Celsius. Okay. Because I'm guessing, knowing you, you had some anxiety going into this. Yes. And Celsius cannot help with that. And I'm not drinking right now.

Right. And you're not drinking. Yeah. Because to get ready for your wedding. Yeah. Right? Sober September. Get it locked.

Get locked in. Yeah. Yeah. We're waiting to have a drink. I am. Oh, you're going to get one. At least at the wedding. Oh, that'll have a drink. I am at least at the wedding. Oh, that'll be so fun. I can't wait to see that.

And we're having mango-ritas after our cat. Oh, my God. Wait, mango-ritas after your cat? Oh, that's so cute. Oh, that is cute. I love that. It's really embarrassing to say it out loud. No, that's sweet.

I like that. Okay, but so back to David Dobrik's house. Yes. But you had fun even though you had anxiety and Celsius. I did. I think what helps is it's outside and there's a game going on.

So I'm used to sports. So I was rooting for, I ended up, Gianni was on a team. They lost. So we were like talking shit and then we became friends with, there's a sandwich place

called Giegata or whatever. Yeah, that place rolls. Giametti's? No, it's G-I-G-A-T-A. Yeah, G-I-G-A-T-A. Like the woman? Kind of. Kind of.

It's G-G-I-A-T-A. Two G's? Yeah. One on Melrose and one on Highland Park. It is the hot sandwich spot. Oh, my God. Wow, they're going to love me for bringing it up now. Okay, so G-G-I-A-T-A.

Yeah, they were the nicest guys ever, the two owners. So I ended up becoming friends with them. They're're from jersey and then i started rooting for them so i forgot about every i just locked in on pickleball yes sure so i was able to deal with it because if i had to talk so garrett's there though and he has yeah garrett garrett's there the f boy yeah so if you don't know garrett moroski moroski yeah garrett was on f boy season one he won um he's a big blonde guy big blonde guy um yeah he won the show by convincing sarah to fall in love with him and then give him control of the hundred thousand dollars and then he dumped her minutes after he said he loved her and then they took the money away from him and then we we took them in a cruel

twist on the show that really no one was into yeah including me we took the money from him and then donated it to like which was I don't even know how we got away with that spray was the chair i don't know if i ever followed up on that um spray tans for dogs or something so it was uh it was it um it yeah and so then garrett came back season two and and caused a stir then he was he's just a perfect villain and i love him so much he's even better in the wild was he is he coupled up right now he had a dog. He had a little shih tzu and he just put it on his shoulder to get pussy.

Everything he does is to get laid. So he just walks around with the dog. Did you say hi to him? Yeah, I did. Did he remember you? He did. Oh, that's nice. And I was like,

you know, I'm the guy from F1. He's like, yeah, I know. And I still don't know. He didn't know. There's no way. We did talk. Nice to see you. Nice to see you.

I've heard so many nice to see you's. This town is insane with nice to see you's. Sounds insane. And when someone says it to me, I just go, oh, they don't know who I am. It doesn't save you anything with me. But do you follow up? That's good. Because literally, I can't remember who told me to do it. it was like an older white guy and i always listen to them yeah and

like they they were like the most important thing is a nice to see you it just you know we've talked about the podcast before because if you say a nice to meet you the person could say we've met before and then you feel like an idiot so nice to see you gets it's it could be the first time you're meeting them or i've seen you again but it really isn't it means i don't know if we've met before you aren't important to me enough to remember and i'm gonna play it safe and and by the way no one says nice to see you the first time they meet someone we're i don't know what we're getting away with with that part that's a weird thing to say to someone the first time you meet them. But yeah, this town is filled with it.

I have a solution. You just say, hi, how are you? Yeah. Okay. Instead of nice to see you, nice to meet you. Hi, nice to see someone yesterday. I have to admit it. You did.

And I felt like it left a bad taste in my, like literally I was like, blech, afterwards. Because I was, oh, it's infiltrated me because I went to I got to go my agent asked me if I wanted to go to the Chargers Chiefs game yesterday

and I got into town I was supposed to get into town midday from Vegas I was in Vegas this weekend with Spade and then I just changed the flight

to fly in in the morning asked for an extra ticket because he gave me two I got three I brought my mom and dad and we were in the owner's box which I and dad and we were in the owner's box. Wow. I didn't know we were in the owner's box.

We walked in in chief's gear. Oh, God. But it's like where the Rams play, too. So like it's not it can be any. The owner of the stadium or the owner of the Chargers? The owner of the Chargers. Oh, my God. You had a full Elaine from Seinfeld moment.

I really I didn't realize. You walked into the Chargers owner's box. I texted my agent right away and I was like, because I go to my mom, I go, oh, no. And she goes, oh, it's fine. And then she finds out it's the owner's box. I go, I don't think we're supposed to be, because everyone's in Chargers gear. To be fair, I didn't know the Chargers were a team

until 10 a.m. that morning. I didn't know about them. How much was it that you thought Taylor Swift was going to be there? Their logo is a Guy Fieri toupee. I don't like it. I don't even understand. What did you say?

How much Taylor Swift, you think her being there was the reason why you changed up everything? Well, she wasn't there. I know, but you thinking that she was going to be there? No, I'm fully committed to Chiefs. I've bought hundreds of dollars worth of Chiefs gear. I'm ready. I'm going to go to all the games that I can. I also think it's, i felt alarmed at first and my mom found out it was the owner's box and she goes

nick we're not supposed to be and then another agent from uta oh it was like a uta box too that i don't even know if the owner was there but it definitely was the owner's box i mean i have the bracelet i just took it off it says owners on it and i was like i didn't know and so i texted my agent i'm like i'm I'm in Chief's gear. And he was like, it's okay. Andrew, this other agent, is in Chief's gear. And he was the only other one in the box. And then there was another girl, Marissa, that showed up.

But everyone else was in Chargers. But then before they showed up, I was feeling awkward about it. And then I had to talk to myself. And I was like, Nikki, this is a sport. It's a sport. Who gives a shit if you are wearing red? And honestly, the only reason I'm wearing red is because my favorite person's dating one of

the players. Nothing matters. I'm, I'm, I was happy for the chargers when they did well. I liked like, but the thing is most of the people there were cheese fans. The chargers famously are very used to having the opposing team's fans in

the stands. It was crazy. They have no fans. The Chargers have more fans in Mexico than they do in America because they used to be a San Diego team and that's so close to the border. When the Chargers played a game in Mexico City, they had the most fans there that they've ever had at a stadium. They should move to Mexico City. It was Latino Day there, too. Yeah. They're really trying to hone in on that market, I believe. Their quarterback was Phillip Rivers, and in Mexico City, they call him Felipe Rios. It was a good vibe. I liked the Chargers fans.

I like that. But there were more phone chargers in that crowd than Chargers fans. I was like, they should change their logo to a phone charger, because chargers are so important to everyone. Yes, that that's true a little lightning bolt doesn't really mean anything but um i think the chiefs are also cultural now like even if you don't follow football you know about the chief it's so true they're kind of america's like every decade has no no no i gotta

be every decade has like a football team they're the enemy now the chiefs are like the patriots i know well you have to hate them. Yeah, they can't just keep winning. You can't watch, like, watch court. Even Chris is a little bit like, doesn't really love the Chiefs because they mean that St. Louis will never get a football team.

And there's another reason. He's just like, he only roots for teams that the city needs it. Yeah, I only root for teams that completely suck and hurt my feelings. yeah and like a team that win it that's always winning is just like i don't understand it i can't get on board yeah i don't know i well now because we all know why i'm on board but i'm also like after watching quarterback on netflix i love pat mahomes so much i think he's so funny. I think he's charismatic. I'm sure every quarterback has this,

because I even liked Kirk Cousins, who they covered on that. Yeah, Kirk Cousins is a great guy, too. If you give me a documentary about an athlete, I will fall in love with that instantly. That could be a serial killer. Yeah, OJ loves it. Yeah, I can't wait for that one.

He's actually a good guy. Yeah, he also loves mini golf. Well, Aaron Hernandez I do feel for, because... Did you watch that show yet? No, I'm not really interested in... Maybe I would be because I did love the docudrama about OJ. Juice. David Schwimmer.

Juice. I loved that, but I didn't... I was seeing the ad for the Hernandez one and I feel for that guy. I mean, he was like closeted. He couldn't come out. He hated himself for it. His dad was a I mean, he was like closeted. Yeah. He couldn't come out. He hated himself for it. His dad was a piece of shit who was like really hard on him.

Yeah. Like, I'm like, I get it. You just gotta not murder two people. Hurt people. That's true. Murder people.

Yeah. Yeah, it's true. But, so, yeah, I just felt like it doesn't matter that I'm,

like, ultimately, like, I had to dismantle it and be like, is this a bad, am I a bad person because I'm in the owner's box? It's like, no, because if the owner's here, he's a billionaire. Who gives a shit?

He'll get over me wearing a red shirt. Yeah. And if that ruins his day, there's a problem. But you are having, so Andrew was also at a box yesterday. Wow. David Dobrik's? Yeah, David Dobrik's. He saw something in me.

There was a pickleball court in it? And I threatened him, I remember, with a knife. And he's like, dude, you're cool, man. He was like, will you come pick up rappers in my box? You don't really help Jason Nash anymore. I think maybe I can fill a void. Whose box were you in? I was in this guy.

He's a Chief fan, fan too i didn't know and i showed up in charger gear wow that's interesting yeah well can i just say this experience like thank you to my agent nick nusiforo for reaching out to me and being like do you want to go to this game because i was like sure oh that's great oh it'll be a box love it that'll be so fun to bring my parents to guys he was like i'm gonna get you a vip escort too and i was like okay just like was like sure i had the taylor swift treatment like it's very famous now to see her get on those golf carts get out of the suv get on the golf cart kind of be paraded through the wings of the like it i got to do that i was like dad film me because

it was i i entered exactly where she would enter at SoFi. It was so cool. We went underground. Like, we had our car sniffed by dogs to go underground. It was, and then we were, like, let in. And we got to this box. And the buffet, I don't know if you experienced this. I can't believe the food that was at this. What did you get?

There was a sushi bar. There was rotisserie chicken. There was char sushi bar. There was rotisserie chicken. There was charcuterie. I mean, there was a candy wall of just every full-size candy you could even imagine. Reese's? Oh, Reese's Pieces. Reese's Pieces, but not Reese's Cups. Sorry, so not everyone that you can imagine.

Oh, a loose Reese's Cup is kind of weird. No, but the full-size. Like, full-size. That's what I'm saying. Oh, full-size? Reese's Pieces, M&M's, Twizzlers. I mean, it was... And there were hundreds of people that had access to pieces. Oh, that's the owner's box. I mean, it was,

and there were hundreds of people that had access to this because there's a couple of different owners boxes and then it would open up into this cafeteria setting. It was incredible. I, um, I had the best time and I kind of understood the game, which was fun. Like I knew what was kind of happening,

but here's my new thing is that i have always felt so embarrassed to cheer for football because i don't know what's happening and so i always kind of wait a couple seconds after everyone else is cheering to like really get on board um but now that i understand i can like cheer when i know something's happening but i'm still so like uh nervous about cheering at the wrong time that i still wait like even though I know what's going on. Yesterday, I cheered because I got wrapped up in it. The Chiefs did something that I was excited about and I was cheering. But then everyone was cheering

and I was like, oh no, that must be the Chargers. But then I realized that everyone there was... It was probably more Chiefs fans. And the Chiefs weren't doing well at first. And so it was the first time the Chiefs... And it was so loud that I thought it was Chargers and I got really, really embarrassed. And then I realized so it was the first time the chiefs like and it was so loud that i thought it was chargers and i got really really embarrassed and then i realized that it was but i i don't know if you guys relate to anything like that where you don't know what you're doing and you have to

like kind of fake it yes this is literally how i watched frazier is when the audience would laugh, I would laugh, being like, I think I get it. I think I did that at a Dimitri Martin show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he stops drawing. I bet there are people that don't know, like people don't understand comedy and do have to,

the way I watch football and like kind of wait for. I remember looking at the people and they would look. No, laugh tracks and studio audiences are so important for comedy. They are fucking essential. People don't know what the fuck they're this funny. No, you're so right.

It's like, and even here's another thing that you don't know you need assistance on is lyrics. You think you'll know a song and you'll sing along with it, but you don't realize that you're kind of singing a millisecond after the words because um the other day gen zm sent me a tiktok or she was like we got to do this trend where i would sit and behind me oh like i'm not facing it are the lyrics to like a song like espresso you know sabrina carpenter and i'm like i don't need the fucking lyrics i can sing that and she's like you should should do that where you sing the lyrics and we see how well you do behind you. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to ace. I go, that's dumb because I would 100% know it. And she was like, oh, we've got a confident girl on our hands.

And I go, I was on a treadmill talking to her. I was like, I bet you anything I can do it. So I pulled up an instrumental just on my phone and put my phone down to see if I could do it. And I bombed right away. Wow. Because also the lyrics to Espresso were so it and i bombed right away because also the lyrics to espresso were so bizarre and like pull it up right thing it's basically like they wrote it in like japanese translate to english translated to german then translated back to english they're

insane it's it's bizarre it's very aipresso is like, the chorus is bizarre. You're so right. Isn't that Mi Espresso? Why are we acting like that means anything? It means nothing. Hit Me Baby one more time. No one questioned that either, and that was a Swedish thing. Yeah, that was just Max Martin. Max Martin is a

Swedish genius. He created all these pop songs that don't mean anything. He thought Hit Me, I believe, I could get this wrong, but he believed, he thought it meant like, call me up again. Yeah. Like hit me up. And no one said, hey, this doesn't, this isn't the, we shouldn't have a young girl saying hit me baby one more time about a guy she's dating.

Yeah. Yeah. And he just kept going, jaw, jaw. I do think like if you're sweet, the less words you know in English, the better pop songwriter you're going to be because it has to simplify.

Same with a lot of comics that English is their second language, I feel like. They're good because they make everything so simple because they only know 200 English words to pick from. Oh, right. They're good because they make everything so simple because they only know 200 English words to pick from. Oh, right, right. Like Gad Elame. Yeah.

Gad El, God, I forgot how to say his last name. Elmalee. Elmalee. Elmalee. Yeah, Gad Elmalee. Yeah, he's the boy Amalee. Elmalee. Oh, man.

Gad. I have gad stories. Yeah, you do. I have gads and gads of stories. But I can't help but see the Twin Towers on your shirt. I know. I didn't realize they were on here until you pointed. Take them off. Get them out of there.

Sharpie those out of the sky. You know, it's just nice to remember. It is nice to remember. It was a great part of the skyline. Oh, what a skyline. Those were the days. I didn't know what they were though until they went down because I was in AP English. Yes, got a five on the exam. Proudest moment of my life.

But I was in AP English when it happened and it was over the intercom and my teacher obviously was horrified. I'm like, oh my God. And I just go, what's the Twin Tower? What's the World Trade Center? And I just remember her going, you don't know what the World Trade Center is.

And like really shamed me. That's what I remember from that day. I was like being shamed about that. It was a hard day for you. It was really. Never forget. I wanted to jump. I went to high school where like you're on one floor.

35% of the students at my high school parents worked at the world trade center so like everyone was on cell phones crying but my parents didn't so i was like walking like yeah like i oh yeah yeah it was 2001 and i remember my whole 9-11 as we ran the mile uh in the in first period and then second period it happened and we all got to like go home because everyone was so connected to it yeah

and I remember this that I was just like why couldn't it have happened like 45 minutes early before the mile before the mile before I had to run the mile 9-11 sounds like a good time

for the mile like and you're just sweaty like everyone would be really pleased with that I remember the mile running the mile sorry what were you gonna say no when you're sweating that. I remember running the mile.

Sorry, what were you going to say? No, when you're sweating after the mile and then you have to put on your school clothes and then you're sweaty under your clothes for three periods. I think fifth grade, I remember, was the first mile. What about you guys? Yeah, around then. It's a really, for us at least, it was a pivotal day when it was like the mile run. Presidential fitness. You would build up to it yes like

it really and i still remember matt johnson got like a 525 oh wow there was always one kid that broke six yeah that was shout out matt johnson yeah there was like and then there was and then the poor kid who would get like 24 like you know like the kid that would walk and everyone would like clap yeah oh that is like that's not fair to do to kids if you want to sit out the mile you should be able to yeah here is my stance on gym kids should be able to sit it the fuck out because some of us are not coordinated we don't like throwing we don't like balls flying at us we should be able to cheer on the sidelines and know our place like you should have autonomy as a child to know what you like and what you don't like

and not be forced to do something you don't want to do. Yes. And this is all, it's all Arnold Schwarzenegger's fault. It is his fault for starting that like presidential fitness thing. That Arnold Schwarzenegger started that? He started it? He was like the first spokesperson. Maybe it's George Bush.

I'm going to blame Arnold for this. Remember we would have like the president's signature on it? On it. Yeah. Like Bill Clinton's congratulations. Yeah, like. On the sit and reach. Yeah.

I would always do really well at everything but flexibility. Oh, that board. You'd have to go. Yeah, the board. Oh, that board was horrible. The worst. I hated it. And I hated Arnold Schwarzenegger because of it.

Oh, my God. Because we had to watch a video before we started the presidential fitness. And he was like talking about how this is going to help you become like a muscle boy. Remember we were all jumping rope for our heart, jump for our heart.

Like that was like a huge movement in our schools. I had to do sit-ups and I farted on the second sit-up and I got four sit-ups because I was like I'm so hard

and everyone pointed at me and I was, it was like, I was laughing so hard and everyone pointing at me. And I was, it was like, it was such a loud fart. Like it was, I think that should have been, I should have been able to go again. I thought it wasn't very presidential. Turn to sit-ups. All right. We'll be back after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I was in Vegas this weekend, and I won't say who I was with,

but I got invited to a private gambling room for some high rollers. I could guess. And I'll tell you off air. I'm sure I could say it, but I don't really know this person well enough to know if they'd like me talking about it. But yeah. Yeah. You want to do it?

Let's ask the Akinator. Oh, my God. If they get it, I can just say, like, I'm sorry. I had to. I feel like I get it really quick. Yeah, guess. You're in Vegas? Uh-huh.

Dana White. No. Wow. Dana White's an interesting guess. I mean, here's the thing. This weekend in Vegas. Everyone was there. Everyone was there.

It was skank fest. Skank fest. It's not a woman. They're not a famous YouTuber. No. And they're more than 40? Yeah. Okay. More a woman. They're not a famous YouTuber. No. And they're more than 40? Yeah. Okay.

More than 40. They're alive. Yeah. Are they a singer? No. They live in Vegas? Or go ahead. An actor?

No, not really. A magician? No. Linked with sports? No. Play the lead role in a movie? a jabberwocky i'm just they run for president no uh on a popular tv show no is it a pop singer no um citizen of the u.s Yes. Do they own a company?

Yeah. Is it man or woman? Do we do that? It's a man, right? Yeah. Okay. Are they associated with technology? No.

Linked with food? No. Are they white? Yes. Are they linked with cinema? No. What the fuck? They talk about the government? No. Are they linked with advertising? No. What the fuck? They talk about the government?

No. Are they linked with advertising? No. Are they boss of an important company? I mean, I would say yes, but I don't know that the Akinator knows that yet. Okay. Have they published books? No. What has this person done?

Are they famous thanks to television yeah okay are they from nickelodeon no no do they wear a suit no uh do they do they appear in the first season of a show no well oh no no no i would say no. Associated with comedy? Yes. Okay. Are they a stand-up comedian? Yes. Okay. When it says it, will you just show it to me? Do they live in Texas?

No. How many questions are we at now? Is it almost... I think I know now. Are they chubby? No. Do you think you know? I think I know.

Okay. It's guessing. No. It's not Theo Vaughn. Ready? Three, two, one, carrot top. What is that carrot top? He is the CEO of Amazon now.

How could the Akinator let me down twice on this fucking podcast? Okay, so I thought. Does it start with a K? No. Do they have a podcast? So, final thought. This person. This fucking thing has never let me down but this

person was with their friends that were the really this person was a high roller but this person was with people that were so i'm sitting at this table and are you playing no i'm just like there to hang what are they what's the stakes i'm about to tell you so i'm like they're playing back rat okay oh boy 50 50 coin flip and there's also like a blackjack table for like a little bit lower bets for people like there's probably like five of us in the room and i'm just sitting there hanging with my friend and then he has two friends and his two friends i'm just looking like i'm kind of like looking at their chips but i'm not like paying attention and then i would say 20 minutes in i'm like i should look at the amounts

of these chips because it's like maybe shows some interest in the game. The lowest, what do you think the lowest chip was? $1,000. $1,000 was the lowest chip. And then I look over and I see four giant stacks of a color of chip. Oh my God. And that chip, I couldn't believe,

I had to like cover one of my eyes because i'm bioptic because of lasik to see when you count it because i thought it's a 24 i'm bioptic i had one what does that mean i had one of my eyes uh lasik but not the other so it means one of my eyes sees close up one of my eyes is far away and together they join and i can do both it's pretty awesome look into it if you want to do lasik just get one eye done lasik plus um so i i like literally was just like covering one eye so i could see because i thought it said twenty five hundred dollars and it was twenty five thousand dollar chips yeah and four giant stacks and i then i'm trying to have conversation but also go one two three okay then three three three that's nine that one's ten that one's A million dollars was sitting in a... And I watched someone win $1.2 million,

up 1.2, then go down to 0.8. We walked out because it was done. And we walked out and the guy that just won 1.8 was a little bummed, but I didn't know what had happened. I only know this afterwards. And I asked my friend, I was like... And he went to go cash out the guy that won and i asked my friend i was like what like uh is it did he just lose like a lot like what

happened he goes oh no he's up 0.8 i go why is he like bummed he's like oh because he was up 1.2 and i'm like that that just was funny to me then he came back and he was a little and he had a hundred thousand dollars in his stomach in his sweater zipped up a check for 400 000 and then his buddy ran up 200 000 and put it in the safe upstairs like ran past us to like fucking run and then it took that 100 to go to another casino at three in the morning at this point two in the morning to go to another casino and spend it but his uh the guy was just kind of like oh man god damn it you know kind of a little bit bummed like the way we would be if you lost 20 bucks on a slot and uh and i go but you but you're up

0.8 and he was like yeah and i was like he goes but it could have been and i go that money was never yours and he goes wow we need her around more often like it really didn't seem to affect him i was like it wasn't yours it was just that was just it was in the air for a second but it was it was never yours and he was like that really and i feel like i did help him he was really really nice then they gave those two buddies gave me a ride back to my hotel and i would and i just i got in the car and oh i even turned to my friend while i'm watching my friend play and i just was like what's it like to be that rich i was like what is that because i know you and i know there was a time eight years ago where a hundred dollar chip would have been and you're just throwing thousands out like nothing like literally they were putting them

in front of me like you did and i was like get this away from me and um he was like it's it's pretty crazy but then these guys i go were you guys born rich and they were like oh god no i go can you can you believe what just happened tonight? I feel like these people need to check in with themselves that you just won $0.8 million. Yeah. It's crazy. Like more money than most people will make in a lifetime.

And they were like, yeah, it's wild. And I just can't even believe it. That's why they make them chips. Because the chips, it just gets even the chips you just $25,000 chip I'm just like that chip could change so many people's lives that just little piece of plastic

yeah there's a famous story about Charles Barkley he lost $2 million once playing at the Wynn like lost $2 million that's where we were and in an interview

they were asking what was that like he's like everyone focuses on the fact that I lost $2 million I was up $6 million to focuses on the fact that I lost two million. I was up six million to start the night. Yes, yes.

I thought that was so healthy of him to view it that way. Being like, I'll just have fun. I'll make more money. Yes. And that's kind of the, these guys didn't seem to have

like addictions. Like they weren't, for them it wasn't that much money. Yeah. Once you have that much money, it really is just fun. I mean, you can't really. But how can people be waiting on them?

You know, like there's there's a guy running the table. There's a guy dealing the cards like those people. They're just how are they not? I know. Yeah. The casino. If you if you're a high roller, then the casino will just put staff members around you. Do you want cigarettes?

Do you want to drink? Like, oh, like everyone just seems so normal about it and i was like this isn't normal i need to bring you all back to reality for a second they know it fucking rules to be working the high roller room because you're getting you're getting one of those you get tipped out yeah exactly you're getting tipped better than any other table like you're getting tipped like your month like people have too much five months pay my Well, there should be a limit. It should be $100 million tops. Is how much money you can have.

And then the rest needs to be given back. That's too much money even. Let's make it $20 million. $100 million. You do want to have generational wealth that you can put into a trust for three to five generations. You can put $3 million into a trust for your kids and it will be

they'll be A-OK. We're still going to have terrible painters. But $100 million $100 million is not a lot of money compared to what people have now. People have billions, trillions. If we all put it down to $20 million, that's the most

you can have, then that's fine. I think that de-incentivizes capitalism if it's only $20 million. Okay. $20 million, that's the most you can have, then that's fine. I think that de-incentivizes capitalism if it's only $20 million. Okay. $100 million, yeah, is a goal that most people cannot achieve and can still climb that mountain. Yeah.

Okay, that's a good idea. Yeah. Have you guys ever seen that much money? I've never seen... You know how John Mulaney has a bit about $100 million cash? I would wait online to see that much cash. Yeah, I'd pay would stand I would wait online to see that much cash

yeah I'd pay money I'd pay money to see that much have my money added and for an extra dollar you can have your money added to the hundred to the million dollars

I um I just have never seen that much money no I mean I would probably faint see I was excited at the realization

of 25 like four stacks of that because like I've seen people with like 500 like a whole like big stacks of that because like i've seen people with like 500 like a whole like big thing and i'm like so like doing five times that like is it was just i remember doing it i i was addicted to blackjack and i it's something else when you're playing for your rent money you know that's a real that's not that is exciting like whether you're gonna eat or not oh

yeah yeah i don't i mean were you addicted like in the casino yeah it was bad yeah in college like in college you go to the casino and you just call his aunt to have her like call my stepmom i please don't tell daddy you know stuff like that and then they'd only give you two hundred dollars because my limit on my atm machine uh-huh And then I'd wait until midnight just around the quarter on Bourbon Street just walking around. Wait, were you doing like the one in the casino? Yeah, Harrah's. Where they have like quarter craps there. It is like the most depressing place I've ever been.

Yeah, I called it home for a while. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, you walked by. It is a sad place. I literally was playing craps there at one time, and I saw a homeless guy just empty change, and I'm like, gave him chips for it. I'm like, oh, no. We are at the same place in our lives right now.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm so glad. And that money was never yours. Yeah, it was. All right, that's our show. Andrew, thank you for being here. Sean, thank you for being here sean thank you for being here brian noah is in studio we'll have a show for you tomorrow same group of people we're gonna record it right after this but it'll feel new to you tomorrow we'll see you then don't be cold bye

the nikki glazer podcast is a production by will ferrell's big money players and iheart podcast created and hosted by me nikki glazer co-hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Noah Avior. Edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production, Mark Canton. And music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser Pod and subscribe to our channel. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.