The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #48 Got Some Schlopy and Special Announcements!

Episode Date: June 11, 2021

The day has finally come and Nikki can let Besties in on what she was working on in the Cayman Islands. With today's announcements of JFL Cancun and FBoy Island, Nikki talks about what it was like receiving the news. Nikki and Andrew tell stories from the Cardinals game they went to last night. You Heard it Hear First, Nikki shares her perspective on plastic surgery, Andrew thinks the opposite about ex's and more stories from the game after Joey Votto talks smack about St. Louis. In Listener Mail, they help a listener come up with a word, talk about lyrics and approve of a co'uhl. And Nikki encourages Andrew to call her out on stuff in the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast,

and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports.

I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Here's Nikki. Hello. Oh, Thursday show. So sad to be closing out the week. We take off three days. We'll be back again on Monday, but we have a whole show ahead of us. What am I getting sad about? Hey, guys, it's Nikki Glaser.

Welcome to the Nikki Glaser podcast. So much to get into today. Couple quick things at the top of the show I want to just announce. It hasn't been announced right now as of this recording, but you know we do these podcasts and they go out as soon as we can get them up daily. Which I love about our podcast because yesterday Bob Saget was texting me afterwards like, So when will this be up? And I like today Bob today everything so I love how how uh you know you get us it's it's as close to as live as we can give you and uh that's that's what I what I like about it and we really don't ever take anything out I gotta be honest with you I like anytime I say something and I go I'm gonna take that out later

I I forget and it just stays in um And then all my friendships and, you know, close personal relationships in my family, if they hear the podcast that I didn't go back and edit, we're in trouble. Luckily, those people don't listen. But you're listening right now. And what I want to tell you is today, the thing that I have been teasing forever and the thing that I was filming when, you know, this whole podcast started down in the cayman islands i can finally announce because it is being announced in a couple hours but by the time this baby pops out uh it will already be out in the world and i can talk about it finally the show that i taped in the cayman islands drum roll please is calledBoy Island. That's right, folks.

F-Boy Island coming to HBO. HBO Max. Let me tell you a little bit about it because I might tell you more things than you should know in the press release. So what it is is three women move to a tropical island where they're joined by 24 men. Twelve self-proclaimed nice guys looking for love, and 12 self-proclaimed F-boys there to compete for cold, hard cash. The women will navigate the dating pool together with the hope of finding a lasting love connection. And by the finale, all will be revealed. Who is a nice guy? Who is an F-boy? And who do the women ultimately choose? F-Boy Island is a social experiment that asks the age-old question, can Can F boys truly reform or do nice guys always finish last?

Are you in? I'm in. I like even reading that. I'm like, you guys, you don't even understand. I heard the name. This name of the show was floated in an email to me six months before I got the call to do it.

I, my agent sent me an email of like, Hey, we know you're looking to get into the reality show space and um and host something here's one that we just have the name of and it said fuck boy island at the time i think it was fuck boy island obviously that was like a working title because no one's gonna let that air um even though they we i don't i don't even think they tried because let's be honest f boyBoy Island was even hard to get past.

Like the whole time we were filming the show, this is just for you guys to know, please don't tell anyone. We didn't know that it was going to be called FBoy Island because to run that by legal, to make sure HBO is cool with having that be a show. And FBoy sounds so stupid. I know you like when I first heard it, I was like, if it's not fuck boy, what are we doing? Like, let's just call it fuck boy or have bleep boy, you know, like F boy. I have to say F boy. And I'll tell you the first time I said it, I'm like, welcome to F boy Island. You, there are 24 F boys. 12 of you are nice guys. And 12 of you are self-proclaimed F boys. I felt ridiculous by the fourth F-boy not ridiculous anymore and my whole world was about f-boys and calling them f-boys i still call boys f-boys um so the the

fear i had of people being like f-boy what does that even mean don't worry you'll get used to it and it'll feel real nice it's it's kind of like covid if you haven't noticed if you're in an area of the states or the world where things have opened up you realize by uh andrew made the hilarious joke that i did on conan about being down in the cayman islands when i was talking about how there's no covid down there and it was prior to the u.s opening up and i told conan if you're wondering when the u.s opens up like how quickly you'll adjust to like and forget that covid was even a thing we went to the grocery store for our first outing and we forgot by aisle five like that's how quickly you get used to saying f boy is as quickly as you get used to not like being like like for my birthday party the other night karaoke we like it was just like a normal night like not there was no one wearing a mat it wasn't on our minds.

Maybe because we were being ignorant and stupid, but we're not two weeks out yet, so we don't know if anyone's died. Probably someone's eardrums are pierced by my rendition of, what did I sing that was too high for me? Shake It Off. Shake it off, shake it off. I can't really hit that i stay up too late

anyway f boy you'll get used to it and oh and i wanted to say about the party we all left and we go oh my god we forgot that covid was even a thing we didn't even realize that that was actually special because it just felt so normal if that makes any sense and i just want to give a shout out to uh everyone who made the show with me can I just tell you who made the show Noah because okay first of all so I see f boy island on this like list of shows there were a lot of shows on this thing that my agent sent me let's say back in like this was probably at August September and I see f boy fuck boy island and I was like oh my god in a I know that I won't get that because it's just too cool. It's HBO.

They've never done a reality show. It's just too cool of a concept. They're not, they won't pick me. I just, things never work out. You know, like I'm not trying to be a fatalist and act like woe is me. But you know, when you shoot for the moon, you land amongst the stars.

You know, like I'm always glad when I don't get the moon, but this time I got the fucking moon. So what happened was I looked at that and I was like oh my god if I got that that would be amazing but at this point it was just an email with like here's some things we're pitching you for that might come up in the future then I get a call from Elon Gale who is a EP of The Bachelor for a long ass time and i met him through that because he's he's actually like has a quite a huge presence on twitter and instagram elon gale is a mastermind behind everything you like that happens on bachelor and bachelorette just letting you know that sam dean who uh was one of the i believe show, showrunners or creators of love is fucking blind. Love is

blind people. So love, all I heard was love is blind bachelor people. And then the other, can I just give shout outs to the other people that had made this show possible? Ben Butoni and, uh, Bill Dixon. And then like so many others, when I went awards for the show, which I really do think that I should be submitted for a hosting Emmy for this. Cause some of the, eventually I got my feet wet on this. I really found out who I was as a host very quickly. I think I nailed it. I'm really proud of this show, this podcast and this show are like my two, like they're my children that I want to like they're like my um Beyonce's and then Solange is like the other shows in the past no I'm very proud of Solange's too but they but these are like showstoppers um these shows I am uh and I only saying the Solange and Beyonce thing because I

always say that my sister was a Beyonce and I was a Solange. And I'm so glad that she didn't want to be a performer because if she would have wanted to be a Beyonce, I would probably be dead right now because she could have done it. And if she eclipsed me and like attention and fame, I don't know that I would handle it very well. But luckily she's a good person who wanted to be a teacher and a mother and she's great at those. But stay in your lane, Lauren. Stay in your fucking lane. Don't you ever, ever take singing lessons because you have a beautiful voice. And it would make me feel very intimidated. And I'm trying to become a pop star right now. And that's my lane now.

Okay, I'm so excited about the show, if you can't tell. It's getting announced today. I've been having to be so mum about it. Oh, so let me just finish the story. So then I get a call from Elon Gale, who is a friend of mine we he's brought me on to the i was on um caitlin bristow's season of the bachelorette i got brought on with amy amy schumer was doing one of her um group dates like they did stand up and so amy worked it out as the generous person she is to always bring her girlfriends who need the exposure um she worked it out so that she was like can i bring my girlfriends so me and rachel and uh feinstein and uh bridget

everett all got to be on the bachelor i met bachelor people through that that was my first time on reality tv i met caitlin bristow which by the way i'm on caitlin bristow's podcast off the vine today um it's an amazing episode in which we laugh so much it's so funny and we talk about the latest episode of the bachelorette, which aired on Monday. And I would really like you guys to jump on in and get involved in that show because I'm going to be talking about it a lot. Not a ton, but a lot. He calls, he texts me and goes, hey, I have something to talk to you about.

This is in January. I just moved in my apartment here. We're trying to figure out what the podcast is, when that's going to launch everything. I'm kind of like twiddling my thumbs. Elon writes me, which he does sometimes because he always throws me a bone and is like, hey, like, why don't you come on a bachelor after the rose ceremony? This show they did. He's put me on a bunch of stuff, always trying to find ways to get me to work because he's a fan of mine as I am him. He put me in his book. He has a book called You're Not So Great, You're Not That Great or something like that.

And it's about like just stories of failure. And I wrote a thing for his book and he put me in his book. It's so fun about my abusive therapist. Shout out to Donna. Hope you're well. You taught me a lot. And also you I could have bought a house with all the cash that I used to give you under the table for therapy that I don't even know you were qualified to give still uh not i you

should be investigated um anyway so he calls me i think it's just going to be like talking about some someone like just gossiping or something and he's like hey there's the show i'm doing the show called f boy island and i fuck boy island i go okay yeah i remember reading about this five months ago in an email i go that's you and he's like that's me i'm actually doing a good impression of him and i go okay and he goes he goes and i want i want you on it and i go really uh he explains the show to me by the way first and then he goes i want you on it and I go Oh my god, noah. I am not joking you. I have been wanting to be the fucking bachelorette for so long I'm still wanting to be a bachelorette just because i'm the host of the show does not mean that I still do i'm not looking For love and looking to find it on tv everyone listening out there any producers make a show for me where I find love

I'll be really good at it. I'll get fingered in a hot tub I'll be more prudish than you think, but then I'll also do like whorish things. It'll be so fun. Someone, God damn it, write a show. I pitched a show. I don't have time to make a show. I could sell one about this, but someone just plugged me into one. That being said, it quickly became apparent to me that he, it was embarrassing, Noah, because i literally go really like i responded like finally someone wants to put me in as the girl looking for love and then he didn't even know but i so he didn't know that i thought he meant that he was saying the contestants and he goes

i just think you'd be a great host for this and i was like yeah uh it's um uh-huh and i i literally thought it was so embarrassing i put it in the press release though so now he knows i legit thought my quote is when i first got the call to be a part of a reality dating show called f boy island i said yes immediately which is true then i realized they weren't asking me to be one of the girls looking for love this is not a joke it was embarrassing but as a massive fan of the genre hosting this show is a true dream I look forward to hosting for the next 43 seasons I knew going into it that a show created and produced by the people behind my two favorite shows the bachelor and love is blind Was going to be insanely good, but this one exceeded my expectations. I can't wait to watch it every week

I mean every goddamn word of that you you guys. I already know what happens, but I don't know how it's gonna be edited. It's so funny. You know, Bachelor in Paradise announced that David Spade is going down and hosting. They're switching it up with like, and then they have Caitlin Bristow and Tayshia Adams filling in for Chris Harrison

as the co-host of The Bachelorette this season. And they're leaning into comedy a bit more, making it a little bit light. Our show is that so much. We are being so funny in this. It's so funny, but it's also so real. I was every version of myself that you hear on this show because I was doing this show while I was doing that show. So if you love me on this show, you've got to tune in just for me as a fan. I would really appreciate it as my besties for you to tune in, but I know that you're going to be hooked. It's so wild. It's really funny. And dare I say, I got a little wrapped up in it and I truly, I didn't know what was happening. Like I got wrapped up in the show and felt lied to by some of the guys, you know, like

I, as a host, I purposefully didn't want to know stuff that was happening in the background. I didn't. First of all, I made a promise never to lie to any of the contestants. I told that early on because I don't know what working in reality TV is like, but I told all the producers, like, I don't lie. And they were like, what? Like I thought the, the, the zoom was muted. Like I was like, you guys have done mute. And they're like, no, we're just silent and scared of why we hired you. No, I never had to lie, which is great. I, but I stayed in the dark about a lot of things because I wanted to process it and it was all genuine and I just think it's a really special show that is doing something

different with the genre it's called f-boy freaking island and the honest reason for why I accepted this and would have accepted it under any circumstances is because my imDB forever when I am dead will say F boy Island. And that is hilarious. Just when you, so as a lesson for you, when something comes up in your life where you go, that sounds ridiculous. I don't want to be associated with something so silly. And that's not me. That's not what I do. When you look through your wardrobe and you go, I'm going to a baseball game tonight. This is me last night. And I want to wear something cute, but I also like want to feel comfortable and you have no options. And the only option you have is a Taylor Swift shirt. And the last time all these people you're going to the game with saw you, you were also wearing a Taylor Swift shirt and you

don't want to be that person. Realize you are that person. You are F boy Island. Do silly things. Be yourself. Lean into what initially feels good. And I promise you that it's when you cease to judge everything you do and make decisions on how it's going to make you look, you are free from ever looking. Right? So I wore Taylor Swift shirt last night. No regrets. I was comfortable at the game. We went to the baseball game last night. Let's get into it with Andrew Collins. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt.

And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests.

People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless.

I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager.

Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened,

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A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, yeah. Welcome, Andrew. Hi, Nikki. Hey, I was just talking about the baseball game. Oh. Yeah, I was talking about my dilemma Hey, I was just talking about the baseball game. Oh.

Yeah, I was talking about my dilemma last night of trying to pick out something to wear. Oh. How'd you sleep last night, by the way? I slept good. I slept... Actually, no, I didn't. Yeah? Because we got home late.

I drank caffeine to enjoy the game, and then you get home, and you're too caffeinated. Story of my life. Story of your life, man. So I didn't go to bed until like one. I was mad at you, because when I got home, I go, not mad at you, but like, I'm not trying to, I kept my mouth shut

because I'm tired of being the girl that feels like she knows what's going on in Andrew's head and like people don't appreciate being like told, I knew you were going to do this. So I'm sorry to say that. But last time when we got home at 1043, I was like, I'm going to walk Luigi.

You want to get in a morning show? Because we're watching the morning show together i'm finally caught up to andrew he went two episodes ahead which i allowed you allowed that yeah we talked about it which i like that i like the communication you were really nice to me about yeah i watched two episodes with you yeah again because here's the thing noah i he goes he gets two episodes ahead and i'm like okay give me give me till tomorrow night to catch up and he's like i can do that i'm like thank you and if it takes me longer than that you go ahead on your own we get to the next night and i go just go ahead because i don't like watching things alone i just i can't i'm not going to get through it i got through 10 minutes of one episode and i had two to get through and they're

an hour long and i go i watching alone does not keep me accountable I'm in my phone I want to process it I want to make fun of it I want and um I don't watch things alone and um so Andrew was kind enough to re-watch both episodes with me which I think is good because you're on your phone so much when you watch things and I am too that watching things twice makes you fill in the gaps of when you're looking at your phone you know yes i also got home when i checked the apple and i'm sure whatever yeah no no no that it was it was two episodes ahead so it was on episode five so i assumed that you jumped ahead without me on my account and yeah yeah so anyhow but yeah so last night i said let's get in a morning show because it was like oh it'll take us until that'll mean that we're probably

gonna go to bed at midnight but let's be honest i know you're going in your room and you're gonna be on your phone until two in the morning just like i am so why don't we just like kill some of that time together by watching a morning show why because i was trying to get to bed by 1115. I mean, I'm not trying. But yeah. Do you really go in there and try or do you? I try. It's very frustrating because I'll lay down in bed and in about 10 minutes, I'll go to sleep. I think I'm asleep.

Really? Literally 20 minutes later, I'm wide awake. Wait, what do you mean? I don't know. I just I think I'm like, I think I'm good for the night. I'm sure this happens to other people. I think need to like teach you how to go to sleep and i'm not saying that i but i think i might be able to help you because you'll tuck me in honestly like i i want to like come and just see what your situation is because i i do the reason

i ask you every day how did you sleep is not because it's just the name of the segment it's because i actually care about how people sleep and i care about how i sleep and i realize i've done enough research i know what to do to make it better so that you can fall asleep but i might be wrong there's some people that just can't sleep i think what i can do for my sleep is so i work out at 8 a.m this class have you ever tried meditating with a Ambien in your mouth? I'm just kidding. I love that my solution would be Ambien meditation. I go, and also like dissolving 14 Ambien in your gum line.

No, but I think what I do is I do a siesta for myself, which I'm so happy that I get to do it. Your siestas are so long. Oh, they're good siestas. You go three hours. That's not a siesta. That's a fiesta. Yeah, there you go.

Hey-o. Yeah, that's not a siesta that's a fiesta yeah there you go hey yo yeah that's a ford fiesta it's gonna break down on you eventually yeah well what happens is i think i sleep too much in the afternoon and so then at night if i could make it through the afternoon i could probably sleep like a fucking baby through the afternoon let's do a 20 minute nap in the afternoon seriously set your alarm and really try to stick to it because i swear to god andrew if you just do 20 minutes you'll feel refreshed it'll be hard to get out of, but you won't. You cannot take an hour plus long nap in the middle of the day and expect to get to sleep. Eight hours later.

They do it in Spain. No, no, no. They do, you know, an hour long break. You know what they do there? Yeah, but it's a short nap. I mean, this is based on like. They eat late too. I'm telling you, dude.

And they go to bed at like 11 30 a really good plan is to have when you have your coffee when you're starting to crash during the day so right before try this today if you crash because you got up early today you didn't sleep a lot last night when you feel that like i'm ready for my nap have one cup of coffee all right just listen to me have one cup of coffee or half a cup whatever makes you feel stimulated and then Right, right as you're sipping it like go to go take your nap right after that Because the caffeine will not have kicked in and by the time 20 minutes has passed It will have kicked in just like when I take my add meds Uh 30 minutes before I get up. I set my alarm. I bleary-eyed grab the add med

I put it in my mouth and then I fall back asleep for another half hour and by the time my alarm goes off the next time, I'm like ready to get out of bed because the drug that I put in myself has kicked in. The only thing is like, what am I going to do

when I wake up? There's tons to do. Learn an instrument. Play guitar with me. I'm always playing guitar. I always like someone to play with me. We had so much fun that one day

when we were playing all the songs. I would love for you to bring some songs into it that we could do together that you want to play you only know one and i do like that song but we learned one with my dad last week that was fun i've just seen the face i can't forget the time and the other one the other john prine song um yes so i mean yes i uh so we went to the baseball game second game in five days with greg warren and tim convey we had two st louis comics tim convey is also my ex-boyfriend's uh brother and one of my best friends little higher seats yeah we were last time not to talk

shit to greg laser splurged on thursday night to impress my parents and i just wanted the best experience the seats were like a hundred bucks a pop. I spent 400 bucks on four seats. I felt good about it. My parents were, you know, doing a staycation

that I was trying to make their Greece trip that fell through where they flew to Germany and had to come back home because Germany was their stopover

before Greece. They got exiled and they got sent home. So I decided to spend, to splurge, get some nice seats it was fucking worth it dude yeah it was because then last night we were actually you could see the

bulge in the pants of the baseball player yeah i know last night i go i go i love uh i go i think i was bitching about the closed seats because i like to people watch noah and we only had two rows in front of us didn't leave me a lot of people to watch but the thing is we were behind the dugout of the opposing team on thursday when Andrew and I went with my parents and you like make eye contact with the baseball players and not I'm not saying that in a sexual way it's just like weird to see you know when you go to a concert or if you were to go to my show NikkiGlazer.com slash tour for tour tickets also I am announcing today uh there is a huge festival. We are taking over.

Did you know this? I'm going to JFL, just for laughs, is the comedy festival in Canada. Huge. They have all the best names. I'm doing a JFL Cancun. November 7th. Let me just type.

I got to let you guys know because I want my besties there so bad, and I want you guys. If any of you are planning fun Mexico trips, you're going to. Are we doing shows with foam? What? Cancun, baby. Spring break. Spring break. Did you ever go to Cancun for spring break?

No, I've never been. Just for laughs, escapes. That's hard to say. Cancun. November 3rd through 7th, 2021. Guys, I'm not kidding you. Market. There's a $30 deposit to save your spot.

Go to, you can find it. Just Google just, and it's going to be on my socials today. Just for laughs escapes. It would be such a fun trip to plan with your alone. You'll meet other comedy fans. We're taking over an entire resort. No other people except comedy fans. Listen to these names.

Jim Jeffries, Tom Segura, Nikki Glaser, Steve-O, Nicole Byer, Jay Pharoah, Girls Gotta Eat, Donnell Rawlings,

Ron Funches, Debra DiGiovanni, Goddamn Comedy Jam, which I know I'm gonna be on because you get to sing a song and many, many more. There's gonna be live comedy, podcasts, beach parties in a five-star resort takeover.

So if this, and you are going to have the opportunity to win an all-inclusive trip that I'm going to have on my socials. I'm going to, they're asking me if I want to do a giveaway. And I said, fuck yeah, I want to do a giveaway. Besties, I'm telling you first, I'm going to do this. Look at my socials. I'll try to give you a heads up on Nikki Glaser pod on Instagram before I put it on my,

my big, my own. So I want you guys to have a first chance to win this, but just guys, I really want you there. If you can afford it and make it work. Hopefully if you can't afford it, you can win.

Um, but that's November 3rd through the 7th and Andrew, you know, my boy's going to be there. I'll be, I'll be wearing some short shorts on the beach, boy. I'll be drinking a pina colada, virgin. And let's get this. Can I just talk about this poster?

Jim Jeffries, Tom Segura, and then Nikki Glaser. I'm third. This is the weird thing they do on these. I'm almost annoyed for Steve-O and Nicole Byer because Jim Jeffries and Tom Segura at the top they're the biggest names. So they're the top billing. They're the Foo Fighters and Eminem of Lllapalooza 2009 when i went or whatever and then it's like he glazed and then

i'm lady gaga of that year you know like when lady gaga was more of a yes i'm mgm i'm i love that song that kid it's called kids yeah at the beginning beginning of that song. It's called Kids. Kids, yeah. At the beginning of that song, you know how it's like kids going like, and it's like, it's like a kid's on a playground. I used to live behind a playground

in North Hollywood in 2007, and every morning I woke up to that sound, and I would always go, but it was just constant kids screaming. You know what my favorite wake-up song is? I was lying on the beach of Sunday morning of last week. Indulging in my self defeat

and I think you can come but you only said what you would have done so I missed a million miles of fun. I know it's not for me and you steal my sunshine making sure i'm not me and kirsten used to do this thing because during that song it goes to ding to ding to ding wait what is that song called really quick because i want to steal my sunshine um okay it's by yeah i'm gonna play

just a part of it because i don't want to get sued but i would play this what is this they definitely cut this out on z107 in 1997 when i listened to this intro what is this intro it really builds hey man no do you hear that to tink to tink that thing in the background okay kirsten and i used to play like we were playing ping pong. We used to hit back to each other. It's a really fun thing to do during that song. It's the best song.

I was a camp counselor for one summer, and they asked me not to come back because they couldn't really find a sport that I coached well. I didn't do a good job. And I got caught breaking curfew because I was hooking up with a girl in a bus. What? Yeah, in a park bus. Was it one of the counselors? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, good. Just checking. I looked at you like, are we getting into something here? No. But yeah, so I would play that song every morning for my campers to wake them up. I like that.

That's a good wake-up song. I wake up every morning to, This ain't for the best. My reputation's ever been worse. But it sounds like she goes, Wait, this is what I wake up to. It sounds like an orgasm a little bit. It's my favorite song, Delicate, by Taylor Swift.

Is that your alarm? Yeah, every morning. Listen to it. How do you do that? You could set your alarm to oh they sing for the best i mean it sounds like i was just someone yawning through that though no i hear it and i go nice no i i wake up when i hear it i kind of like joe i don't hate getting out of bed anymore so it's not like when i wake up i don't go fuck you know it means like i get to go do a podcast and i get to go get my starbucks luigi isn't looking at me he's trying to ignore me even though he wants to go for a walk because he doesn't trust me look at him right now

he is so depressed no he was good today He's been wagging his tail I think he's been happy lately I don't know Maybe I'm projecting We didn't even get into The baseball game But hopefully we can Talk about it later

During the news segment Let's get to the news The news Apparently You heard it here first You heard it here first Yeah you heard it here first I already announced it

At the top of the show But I just wanted to say Again FBoy Island I'm so excited It feels good to probably be able to say it. I'm so excited. I'm going to be on, I don't think this is announced, I'm going to be on Bill Maher next Friday, the 18th. So make sure you check out that.

That is a thing I'm terrified for because I don't know anything about politics, legit, like nothing. Maybe we'll do a run through on the pod to get you ready. Oh my God, that would be so funny to like i'll go through you guys try to know you got to find five topical or we'll find five topical how do you feel if i can talk about vegan stuff and sex i'll be fine like if we can talk about sexual issues and cancel culture like i know my lane i'm not gonna try to pretend i'm smarter

than i am because i'm very dumb and about so much stuff and even stuff that I think I'm smart about. It's not that you're dumb. It's just you just don't pay attention to it. You can learn anything, I think, other than like math. Football. I don't want to learn it. And baseball.

Last night at the game, Noah, we'll get to the news. I swear to God, I struggled with my caption last night. We took a picture at the baseball game and I was trying to think of a caption for legitimately an hour. And now I'm just going to decide to only post Taylor Swift quotes for the caption. It's really hard to find which one will fit, but there's always one for everything. I finally found one last night that is, because you know, I love the players and you love the game. And that was like for me and Andrew, like, because I like the players. He likes the game. that was like for me and andrew like because i like the players he likes the game it's also taylor's song blank space shout out i wanted to

write that every time they got a home run which is a lot last night there's fireworks that go off yeah but i wasn't paying attention to the game so the home run would happen and then all of a sudden there would be a bomb explosion every single time i thought there was a domestic terrorist literally there were four home runs last night i think four or five yeah and i did not see any of them coming i shrieked i literally i thought i was dying at everyone i think i i walked away traumatized last night i'm not joking like why do those fireworks have to sound like bombs um they weren't like, you know, Because you call a home run, right?

So if you hit a far home run, it's like, it's a bomb! Oh, really? It's called a bomb. Well, why are they making it so I can't bring in a purse to protect us from bombs, yet they're doing bomb? It's just very ironic to me that I can't bring in a purse because they're scared of bombs,

yet they're setting off a sound that sounds like bombs. They don't even do a kiss cam anymore. Do know that they don't want your bomb comparing last night the funniest thing i think i've thought of in a really long time they don't do a kiss cam anymore because i think of me too stuff they don't want to put it on a couple and have them like forced to kiss which i'm grateful for because i always go with guy friends and if they put it on me andrew would probably try to like kiss me and like as a joke and i'd be like no and it would just be awkward it'd be like when usher put the microphone in my face and i'd be like i could but i just like and then i would just look stupid so i'm always nervous about a kiss cam because i have been on

it before with a guy friend and it led to like tension so i'm grateful they don't do kiss cam but what they did last night noah is called a kids cam and they just put it on the they called a kids cam and they just put it on kids and the kids dance. And I was like, why don't we combine them? I was like, let's do a kiss kids cam. Kiss kids cam. And Greg and I were doing a bit where Greg was like,

Nikki, we can't do that. And I go, it's perfect. We kiss kids. We combine them both. And he's like, I don't think that can happen. And I just started chanting like,

kiss kids, kiss kids. And it reminded me of that old show. I love that's what you paid attention to, but not the six home runs. Wonder shows in. Wonder shows in. Beat kids beat kids thank you noah oh my god there was that show i can't i literally gave up on that thinking maybe two besties knew what i was talking about and i was just gonna leave it wonder shows in used to do this hilarious segment where they would have kids reporters on

the street just saying inappropriate stuff but they were little kids on the street kids on the street kids on the beat beat kids beat kids it was like wait what is that did they did they interview the kids no the kids were little reporters and you know when you're on the beat you're like yes it's like so kids would be it would be called kid beat and so or beat kids like kids on the beat and they would go beat kids beat kids it's the best it was exactly the same joke i'm so glad that's why i love you that you were able to just put wonder shows in was so far from to explain what that was it's gonna take forever let's get to the news first segment an influencer surgeon with millions of followers on social media says that breast implant illness is real bii it's called they uh there's pain inflammation skin rashes, hair loss, brain fog, joint aches,

digestive issues, and fatigue are all symptoms commonly reported by those who believe they're experiencing BII. Okay. Many doctors have said that despite desperate pleas from sick patients, that BII is not real. Okay. But he's going on record that it is real. However, that most patients are fine with implants.

He wants that to be said. But there's like a Facebook, like 145,000 people in this group. You know, 300,000 tits that are. Okay. I don't care what. I don't care what. If someone is in pain, give it to them. You know, like what is all of this like?'s in your head that's not real it obviously maybe it's not caused by that thing but if it got gives first of

all it probably is a thing the the emotional trauma you go through with having your body sliced open i mean i have a friend who has had um surgery that she obviously loves the results of aesthetically and it's not breast no it's not breast it's like face stuff but because they cut her open some weird something got into the wound that has caused her to now have celiac disease like after she got that surgery she had celiac so stuff can happen that has nothing to do with the thing in like in and during surgery or anesthesia i mean this happens months after the fact and listen i was looking i was thinking about maybe doing a breast thing at some point like in 10 years like when i want to tuck them up and make them look nicer like i had a third one out of i don't know what's going to be in

total recall style make it just one tube of a boob make one in the middle so that's just a yeah free to cow your tits yeah I want to plateau like a range of like so it looks like a one of those like a fruit cake like the shape of a yeah I

I have thought about it and really my concern is the anesthesia my friend Joe Buck when he got hair transplant from american idol i really am worried about fantasia and sounding like this with my voice afterwards no joe buck got um anesthesia had a um when he got a hair transplant because it was so painful these are all cosmetic things he talked about in his book and he told me about it on our four and a half hour flight but he because i didn't read his book i'm going to though my mom bought it for me um he got a tube down his throat to be under because it was so painful having this hair transplant he had gone

through it a couple times and was like fuck this they go oh we can put you under got a tube in his throat the tube when they put it in you know to put you under um they have like this like inflatable kind of thing that goes around it so they puff it up so that it stays in place and it uh was on a nerve in his vocal cords that got uh it was it was on his nerve too long and it was damaged and when he came out of it sports announcer man who his voice is everything joe buck couldn't talk and he sounded like this for a year until his nerve came back that is the kind of thing that i'm too scared to have a thing done if you had a tits and not like a breast like a cup breast i keep saying if you had a i would love

them but i would probably i would get, I wouldn't do an implant because honestly, I'm just too scared of all this. That's why I didn't get LASIK. I'm scared of the.001% that see double vision the rest of their life. I read about a newscaster

the night before I was scheduled to get LASIK. I read about a newscaster who is a healthy woman by all accounts. You know, all these people, it comes out later. There's a lot more going on

than just, she was having double vision and um so much pain from her lasik a bad lasik job that she's like a woman that spent good money went to a good doctor she hung herself because she was going blind and she had a new baby she might have been doing you know other stuff going on but guess what other stuff goes on with me and if i do a surgery that i would i hopefully i'm in a state of mind where i would forgive myself and go look at nikki you only wanted bigger boobs you didn't want to feel depression and pain the rest of your life maybe like forgive yourself and that would help you

manage your pain but it's too risky like to look better but sometimes the risk is worth it because sometimes women are like i just don't feel myself i feel like i was meant to be born with bigger boobs and i want that and i love when people get surgery done i think it's so brave you're taking a huge risk and so what i don't some women are you know cancer patients that have you know lost their breasts and i mean that's a totally obviously no one has any problem with that but people really like to judge when women get stuff done when they don't have an excuse like or an excuse in quotes like cancer whatever i got a message actually from one of our listeners that noah reminded me of today because i sent it to her ages ago to be like i want to talk about

this she said previously was discussed on the podcast pod uh julie wrote in previously was discussed on the pod filler and botox rodin previously was discussed on the pod filler and botox stuff i wanted to know if nikki ever thought about a nose job and when i say that i mean absolutely no hate personally i love her nose of course she said i've been wanting one because of a volume loss being 28 my nose has a bump now compared to 18 year old me and i don't know how to accept it that's an interesting what's a volume loss i don't um she probably like her nose just whatever it is she doesn't like her nose let's just say i don't know what it means i didn't know i don't know either um not enough snot in it she uh she wants it back to normal she says i don't know how

to accept it which i think i if i was talking to julie i would go let's talk about that you don't know how to accept it because i think a lot of this is just acceptance and then we can get past it but acceptance isn't as easy as just being like, okay, I accept it. She says, I want to fix it, but I'm terrified of surgery and my mother, LOL, and my mother. That's so funny. I don't know why she said mother thing. Anyway, would love some nose positivity talk for my OCD perfection itself. Yeah, I'll close this thing out by saying there are huge risks involved with plastic surgery, fillers in your face, Botox. I've gotten all those things before. I have regretted some of them. I will revisit some of them. I will make mistakes again where I'll go, wow, I look like the fucking Joker and I'll laugh about it. Here's my thing for you and your nose, Julie. I would really honestly look into, and

you're going to think this is crazy. i would look into filler for your nose okay because you want a fuller look i don't think surgery you should always try to avoid surgery going under is risky just the pathogens in the room just surgery is risky filler can do wonders with nose jobs if you haven't seen it just like google it online but also I think if you really look at it whenever I think about one thing that I'm like god if I could get rid of this then something right then my life would change that like that's the one thing holding me back from finding a boyfriend like my whole fucking obsession with my one little tooth that's a millimeter two back from my forward tooth it is such an obsession for me it's the one thing I want to fix,

but I don't wear the Invisalign, so obviously I don't want it that bad. But I always think about if someone, if I got what I wanted in life because of that tooth, if I got the shows that I wanted, if I was famous in the way I wanted, if I got a boyfriend because of that tooth, everything came together,

wouldn't that be kind of fucked up that if everything was based on this one my my tooth being a millimeter different or your nose being a little if you got all the things you wanted because you fixed your nose wouldn't a part of you go that was it wouldn't it be a little bit sad so imagine the perfect life that you think is waiting for you on the other side of fixing your nose or fixing whatever if you get that life if it which you're not going to because we know those things don't come because you fix your nose but if it does come wouldn't that be a little bit disappointing too that that's why that's what people were going to love you for or that's why you were going to get that promotion and I know we're all, you know, superficial beings.

And obviously I like, sometimes I see a guy on Tinder or Bumble. I'm not on Tinder, but Bumble where I go, oh, his nose is gross. And I like write him off. That is a side. That's why dating apps suck because it's all about looks. But I think Julie, look into filler if it really is something you want to do, because it could be temporary and you can see what you like. You can see how it works start very slow I always tell whenever I go to get filler and stuff I say I want to walk out of here and be mad at you because I don't see any results

And by the way when you get filler it always is bigger at first than you think do not freak out It will go down. You are always going to be swollen. No exceptions. But I always say to them, I want to come back to you because I'm mad that I can't tell. I say that when I go get a haircut too. And I want it to be, you know, when you ask, when you have long hair and you go, can I get an, I just want an inch off. And they go, of course. And they take off three. That annoys me. So I always make it clear to hairdressers. I don't want anyone to say that I had a haircut That's how much minimal I want. So tell that to your doctor start very slow You can always go back a lot of these doctors by the way

Have sliding scales of like you can get deals and be like I can't I can afford four hundred dollars worth of filler I can't go beyond that and then Just work with them. It's be very, very, go with a friend who maybe is more honest than you and will help you be honest with the doctor if you can't be. But you are doing them a service by asking for their service. Do not go in there. And I'm projecting because I've been in the situation before where you go in and you get talked into stuff you don't want to do and you pay $10,000 extra for your decolletage,

which you don't even know what a decolletage is until they tell you, and you get bamboozled. So go in with someone who knows your budget, knows what you want, and is very firm with the doctor about how firm you want your tits. Next story.

No, nose. Oh. Well, actually, I mean, I guess she could just get giant tits and no one wouldn't care about your face also when you take down your nose any girls with big noses never forget your nose bone is a tent pole for your face so when you take the tent pole down the skin around it your cheeks those laugh lines those hound dog folds those nasal labial folds is what they're called, are going to get more depressed.

And so just remember, your nose is your tent pole to your face. Build up, don't build down. Could you put a tent together? No. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I can do anything. You told me that earlier. Kim Kardashian is unbothered by Kanye West's rumored romance with Irina Shayk.

And she herself is not focused on dating at the moment. So even though she sees him dating, doesn't mean that she wants to get out there again. She wants to focus on the kids. I hear that. And she never knew Irina, so she doesn't care. She'll be in a relationship soon enough. That girl loves being in a relationship, and that's no judgment. But she does find someone quickly and but you know

this has got i remember seeing a picture or a video clip of her on the latest episode of kardashians crying and saying how embarrassing it's a third marriage failed and no embarrassment there kim you take chances i like it no no divorce means a failed relationship to me just doesn't never has never will you did it you let you were with Kanye for five fucking years that's a long time you had kids together successful now Kanye dating Irina Shayk man that would be very hard for me to handle if I were Kim because you're divorcing a man probably because of his mental health issues that he's not addressing is which what I'm guessing about their relationship but I knowing nothing to see a man who you hope is getting help

to just jump into something else, it's gotta be hurtful. And to jump into something else with a super hot woman that kind of looks like you. And it's just, it would be hard. Just as hard as it was this morning when I tuned into my ex-boyfriend's radio show on my way to get Starbucks.

And I heard his co-host talking about their relationship and I knew they were going round robin till they could finally get to get Starbucks. And, uh, I heard his co-host talking about like their relationship and I knew they were going round Robin till they could finally get to Chris and be like, so Chris, what's going on with you? And I just was like, do I want to hear this? Cause I know they're going to ask him and I, do I want to know? And I, you know, me wanting to cut myself, I just kept listening. And he goes, I'm saying, you know, I'm single. And, um, I did see a girl. She goes, because yesterday in the office, Chris told me he saw a girl in the hallway and he was like, yeah, I mean, there's everyone's back to work at this building where there's a bunch of shows going on.

And I saw this girl and I was like, who is that? And I felt that I just the idea that he was like really into another girl. It used to horn me up because he was mine. And I loved hearing about like, oh, I saw a girl a girl today and i go wow that is someone i'd like to fuck i'd be like tell me about her let's see if you can try you know but this was like what what what did she look i wonder what she looked like is she like smaller than me is she like not smaller like skinny it's more like is she like tiny and short like that's something I can never be you know like I don't want to be any other size and I like the way I am but when someone is a different ethnicity

or like a different height or a different age things I literally cannot change I mean spray tan can't get you uh looking like you might be from somewhere else in a way that feels uncomfortable sometimes and cancelable but um sometimes when i see like a guy that i used to date dating a girl that like is latinx is that how we say it i just go like oh my god like i'll never be i'll never be that and and i'm sure they feel that way when their exes date white girls or black you know um but i did text him and I tried to get in on the conversation because sometimes he'll read my text live on air. And I didn't write about that because he is entitled to that. I talk about dating all the time freely around him. So this is fine to hear.

I also don't think he's ever going to really end up in something. That's what I have to convince myself of, even though I don't want to be with him and we're good. But I am going in tomorrow to to his station to be on on air with them. I like was like, I'll come in tomorrow and I'm like, I will wear a bikini. Like I'm already like it's just so ridiculous how, you know, he's not going to hear this. Please don't tell him if you know him. But like it stung. It always stings to see your ex you like your ex i mean everything i just i i i would have done exactly the opposite of everything you just said you protect yourself you are really good about i don't know why i would i i'm not i

really am not judging i just don't know why you put yourself in this situation just because that's why i love hearing why do you read comments? No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I don't do anything wrong. No, but I'm wondering what's the difference between like reading comments on something that where, you know,

you're going to read something that hurts your feelings. Let's say like the first thing is like not to be rude, man, but, and you keep reading. Why don't you stop reading as in me turning off the radio at that point? No, but it's not just that it's then going to next step of then reaching out to

him and then going to next step of going to see him and then the next step i'm going on the show because i like the show and i want to i want to talk about it you want to get attention from him though no i i honestly it's not that i do i do want him to remember how hot i was for sure i don't want to i honestly don't want to date him you know that i know but then why even put yourself in because i love that show and i was texting with them and i was like i want to call in so bad because they were talking about dating and i recently i don't think i've talked about on this show but don't you see how like kim is like i'm not letting kanye's decisions affect my decisions it's not affecting my decision it's affecting

your yes it is because then you reached out to him and then you want to go on st louis radio and promote my shows and have a funny interaction with my ex-boyfriend that's honest and real and is good radio. And it's going to be fun for me because I actually, I like flirting with my ex. It doesn't cause me pain. I really don't feel pain about it. But you said it was like cutting. I mean, I meant that as like. I'm not trying to break down what you're doing.

I'm not trying to judge you by any means. And I'm not trying to protect you. I don't care what you do. If you i don't care what you do if you're having fun do whatever i really am having fun i promise you this will not lead to me i'm just saying for me i would do like to completely i would like run from any of that because it would hurt me too much can i tell you what i did though on my um dating apps i think i told you this on raya and not bumble because i don't think you can the friendship thing yeah on right did i say this on the show uh on raya noah i said it to here for friends um i told you this yeah and you because here's my thing is like i don't ever want to meet up with someone under the pretense of we might bang someday or get married i don't want that in the air.

I don't want that to be like, are we on a date? I don't want there to be romance. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel out of control. I know this is a control thing for me. I changed mine to friends because I realized that any guy who comes across me on Raya and is like, oh my God, I love this girl.

Or like, maybe I don't even know who this is, but wow, she's cute's cute oh she's just here for friends the kind of guy i would want would go what is this friend thing i'm gonna even though she says friends what is she she's there's something going on here either she's like seeing a guy that she doesn't really care about like i would take that as like a challenge and i hope that any guy and maybe it'll turn off a guy and he's not going to come through. That's not the right guy for me. I like a guy who's going to go, okay, I'll be friends with this girl. And then when we start as friends and then I get to decide when it gets

sexual and I get to, and not by being like, Hey, now we're sexual. You know, I suddenly like touch his arm, lingering eye contact, letting him know that know that like okay we've turned to the this isn't just friends but i always always wanted to start as friends because it does not work for me to go on a date with someone that i don't know and have it already be like but then even if okay i think you're done you're you're probably like you're getting quality over quantity at that point because you're getting someone that, oh, it's friendship. Let's get, you know. Yeah.

But the overall goal for that guy, even if you know that, okay, I'll start as friends, that doesn't matter. Even if you know, like he's not pretending to be friends, but. No, that he would start out. That he would start out there. That shows more. Yeah. And it shows that like, guess what?

I want to be friends with my exes so if we don't end up working out like if your goal for us to be together guy who's agreeing to be my friend on raya and then maybe go out and get a coffee if you if we get together and then we break up and aren't together anymore i hope we can still be friends so i hope that there's friendship there to begin with every guy that I've ever pursued has started off totally platonically yeah um and and I've known from the get-go like there's been an energy like I know right away that's the thing is I I don't think there's ever been it there's only been one guy who we all know uh who came after me very hard and I wasn't interested in him at first, but then he pursued me so hard and was so impressive

that I ended up liking him. But it never ever happens where I don't know right away. I at least have an inkling. My only thing with, if I was to say, I'm just here for friendships, in a way I would feel like I'm kind of protecting myself of not getting rejected because then I could go,

Oh, they don't swipe right on me because I put friendship, not because of my looks or my picture or whatever. I'm not saying I, I've been so many times I have swipe because on Ryan, they give me the same people over and over. And you know that those people have seen you too. And I don't match with them constantly.

So I'm constantly feeling rejected. It's nothing. nothing it literally i know it looks like that it has nothing to do with that because i get rejected all the time people don't realize this i shoot my shot a lot i would say a lot for a a girl that's and people always go nick you could have whoever you want i get rejected so much and friend zoned and kind of like pushed off more than you think. So it's not fear of being rejected at all. It is actually just sorting out the men who actually are like,

oh, this is a challenge. She's not going to, I have to be friends with her first and then she'll maybe warm up to me. Yeah, that's the way I am. I'm really scared of intimacy and that's how I have to start. What's our next story?

Oh, sports. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Here it comes. You excited? Home run. Home run.

The bomb. Cincinnati Reds star Joey Votto. Wait. We saw the Cincinnati Reds in the dugout. Yes. We were there last. Do we know this guy, Joey Votto? Joey Votto was not there.

Fuck, okay. Because he was hurt. Okay. But this is where it comes to us, is he called St. Louis Cardinals fans shit-talking motherfuckers. And what's kind of great, I wish, do we have the sound bite of this?

Because he's on like NBC, like he's on regular like TV, like not, he should be cursing. Was Joey Votto even in the, maybe injured in the dugout when we were there? Why did he hear us?

We weren't talking shit about. No, also the crowd doesn't really, I mean, we were at the game last night. Because there's not that many people, no one talks. Oh my God,

last night we were at the game and I'm not even joking you. It felt weird. I, it was so quiet and I was telling Tim, we were catching up and I was telling Greg about my life up and i was or i was telling

greg about my my life and sharing all these intimate details and i'm like the person behind me could easily hear because two seconds later the woman behind me goes do you hear how much chris harrison got for that bachelor deal and i go i turn around i go how much did he get because we had talked about chris harrison is no longer the host of Bachelor. I didn't know he got a settlement to leave. $50 million. Oh, wow. Which is not what Chris Harrison wants, by the way. I don't think that guy wants money anymore because he has it. That guy wanted to be on TV.

He is not happy, by the way. And he doesn't want his reputation to be ruined. But still, $50 million. That helps to sleep on that. That was funny last night. You brought up, though, when Harry met Sally. And it makes me think of that. When they were arguing while doing The Wave, right? Oh, yeah. The Wave was funny last night. You brought up though when Harry met Sally and it makes me think of that when they were arguing

while doing the wave, right? Oh yeah, the wave was happening last night and just telling a sad story and like still having to get out of your seat. That was a great scene. So what did Joey Votto say?

So Joey Votto, so when the Reds played the Cardinals last time, that the Cardinals swept them. No, the Reds. No, no, no. The first, last time.

Oh, the last season. And so, well, earlier this season. Oh, they already played him? And they brought a broom and, you know, sweep that shit. Like, they were talking mad shit. Okay. So then, yeah, listen to him. It's kind of hot, actually, I think.

Especially hard to win four games in a row on the road. And I don't know. I think I read the last time we did that was in 1990. They won four games last week. We had some talking motherfuckers in St. Louis after the first series. That was you talking about the Bachelor. Kind of nice to go on their road.

Okay, so he's saying like coming back now because last week, the Reds, the first time they came through this season, they got swept by the Cardinals. This time, the Reds swept the Cardinals first time they came through this season they got swept by the cardinals this time the reds swept the cardinals big time right yes um and we went to the game last night to play they played the indians and uh the cardinals came back and like had a great game and it was like this like oh good they're not as bad as we thought when they were playing the reds

um i love that because you know i'm sure they did get a lot of shit talk and cards fans are i that's what i love about St. Louis, is that people love the Cardinals. They're dorks about it. Everyone at the stadium is a goddamn dork, wearing their red stuff and eating trashy food. And you look around and you go, and I'm saying that with love, I'm a dork too,

but St. Louis, no one looked cool at the game. Everyone just looks like they're just enjoying this thing that is just really dorky and so uh i didn't feel like people were being loud enough where if i go yeah joey vato you fuck you you fucking i would feel i'd feel weird yeah it was like a church service yeah it was like a memorial service have you ever been to a tennis match it's the fucking worst oh it's so quiet you even go if i go hey nicky hey what do you what's going what did chris harrison get what did kirsten they go there's trying to choke a bitch is trying to serve choke a bitch uh golf too i always hear baba booey as you know in the swing yeah yeah yeah um yeah you can't yeah

i like a quiet my buddy yelled i like a Tiger Woods, after he got caught cheating and everything. Oh my, what did your buddy yell? He yelled while Tiger was in his backswing, like, hey, let's go to Rachel's later, which is a big strip club. Oh, and it's Rachel Ugetel was the main one. Holy shit, I didn't think of that. Yeah, but it's also like a big strip club

and Tiger gave him a look like I would fucking rip your head off. It reminds me of when my dad was in Los Angeles in 1967, I believe 60, the late later sixties. He was a kid. Still. My dad must've been,

you know, 13. He's in the back of a, uh, car driving around with his like older cousins and they're on sunset Boulevard and they pull up and they see elvis elvis elvis driving and a convertible oh you never heard this story no they pull up and my dad is a little kid i think this might have been like 65 maybe after like

just the beat so my dad was probably 10 or 11 the beatles had just arrived on the scene elvis is kind of like becoming more like you know fat and like killer. Yeah, painkiller Elvis and the Beatles are now like replacing him right and my dad's a huge Beatles fan as 11 year old kid. He's in the backseat of this car trying to like show off for his cousins. They see Elvis. They pull up to Elvis. He locks eyes

with Elvis and he goes Elvis stinks. He said stinks Elvis stinks or your dad yelled. My dad, my little pipsqueak 11-year-old dad said Elvis stinks. It was probably low though back then. Elvis stinks. I know my dad's voice. He said, babe.

He told his cousin to like, hold on. Don't go through this red light yet, babe. Because that's what we say to our family members. And he said Elvis stinks. Did Elvis look at him? He said that the look Elvis shot him was of such disdain and sadness and like that my dad felt so bad you know when you're a little punk when you're a kid and yeah you do something and you go that was too much like when i grabbed that girl's butt on a trip trying to

make my cousin laugh i like sexually harassed uh another girl when i was a little girl accidentally because i was trying to make my cousin laugh and i honked her butt and said honky in front of my whole family and I was the pariah like I'd apologize to her which I should have I mean it was definitely this poor girl was like I just got my butt honked by this little bitch that's trying to make her cousin JD laugh which he did laugh it was hilarious but not okay and um just those moments where you take a swing i pantsed a kid in front of like the whole class and he was on a pull-up bar remember when you'd pants someone and it's a good pantsing you don't get the underwear too although it is way funnier i got the well he wasn't wearing underwear oh and i think i might have noticed i don't know i don't

know what that says about me we were all evil and. And he got stuck doing the pull up and he froze. So he's just naked hanging. Besties should send in the evil things they did as kids. Oh yeah. That they look back and they cringe so hard because I've just been able to admit the honking. The most evil thing I ever did and I really. We got to get the listener mail. Oh, real quick.

I put it. I rolled a skateboarder in front of a kid that went to hit a ramp on his BMX and he did it like a double flip before hitting the ramp. And that was the worst thing I've ever done. I mean, send in your evil things. Let's get into listener mail. These are emails and voice memos and DMs that you send into us via Nikki Glazer pod on Instagram or the Nikki Glazer podcast at gmail.com or through the link to leave us a voice memo in our Instagram bio. Noah, what do we have today? What are we starting off with?

All right, let's start off with an email that we got from Abe. Oh, Abe. Okay, so he wrote in about a song lyric that changed his life. Ooh. The song is First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. Oh, my God. The part that got me was the lyric towards the end, I'd rather be working for a paycheck

than waiting to win the lottery. When I first heard that line, I really opened up the way I viewed relationships. I've had some long-term things, but like Nikki, I always felt my partners were not good enough and there was probably somebody better right around the corner. But after five years of dating randos and listening to that song, I had a complete shift in the way I view relationships. Some people wait to win the the lottery others take what they have and work with it now i'm happily married to an old girlfriend i had years ago we built upon our foundation and now i honestly can't see myself with anybody else holy shit abe first of all this song if you guys don't know this song how's it go i don't know this is the first day of my life yes i swear i was blind before i met you and then the lyric he's talking

about goes and i'd rather be working for a paycheck than then waiting to win the lottery it's so good i've never thought about the lyric that way. This song, I have a whole story for myself to share about it. It's so fucking weird that you picked the song, Abe. But I think you're so right. I've been waiting to win the lottery. And honestly, I feel like a very lucky person in terms of my career and being able to be on a show called FBoy Island

that I only could have dreamed of being asked to do. And they asked me. I didn't have to ask them, which was just like, it's kind of like, you know, taking a different route home than you usually do. And then bumping into the love of your life as how this show came into my life. So I'm going to keep waiting to win the lottery in terms of meeting a guy and realize that it is so much about luck, but that if it doesn't happen eventually, I will totally be willing to, because even if you do win the lottery, by the way, it takes a lot of work to keep your family away,

to make sure you can manage your money. People that win the lottery end up killing themselves a lot of times. So, but I love this. I love that that quote made you look at your life differently and go, hey, this girl that I'm seeing, although I think about the future and I go, hey, this girl that I'm seeing, although I think about the future and I go, maybe this isn't, she's not wife material. It's not what I envisioned

for myself going, well, what am I doing with her in the first place? Obviously there's something there. Why don't I just keep at it? And if it doesn't turn into what I want, I can leave. And maybe as I've seen with so many things in my life, it will turn into something great that is beyond my wildest dreams because I have never been able to predict anything in my life. So why am I pretending like I can predict this? Yeah. And you're working by working for a paycheck. You worked for a paycheck to get the F.Y. Island, which looks, seems like a lottery almost to you. But I did the work.

But you did the work. So if you work on yourself outside of a relationship so when the right guy does come and it feels like the lottery because he came out of nowhere no it's because you worked on your shit and you were ready for someone i just like you were ready for f-boy island can i just share what i did this song makes me cringe so hard and it's like so funny and ironic that this song is being brought up on the heels of revealing like honky the thing i did to that girl's butt this is all those two stories are the only these are the only two things that i literally maybe there's one or two more that i have a very uncomfortable i i'm uncomfortable even sharing them and i'm a little bit removed from this one

enough that i can't i'm picking up my skin because it's making me nervous. Okay. When I fell in love with Pete Lee in the summer, in the spring of 2006, my first love, my first orgasm, I met him. He was doing a guest spot on a show. I was doing a guest spot on a show where he was the feature act. Harlan Williams was headlining.

That has nothing to do with anything. I was doing a guest spot. We had love at first sight. I had never felt it before. He was eating a salad. I walked into the green room and he literally like his he stopped chewing because we were just like hi we had a romantic weekend we fell in love um i had we hung out for four days straight i didn't sleep with him and then he had to go to a college in iowa i was in kansas and he had to fly home to new york the next day and i convinced him i said if you change your

flight and or if you drive back tonight after the college instead of tomorrow morning to get your flight if you come visit me in Lawrence I'll have sex with you so he drove through the night we met in the rain we had sex I had my first orgasm I was so deeply in love with this guy and I we were both so emotional that I was like I want to play you a song and I played him this song and I remember holding each other's faces like staring into it and like crying because we were so in love and we had to say goodbye and he was gonna have to go break up with his girlfriend to like be with me forever which he never did and then I didn't talk to him for 10 years because I was so sad and then 10 years later we're really best friends. And his special's coming out and I'm doing an interview with him on Vulture coming up.

And if you want to hear the whole Pete Lee story, if you haven't heard it, it's on our YouTube. You can just type in Nikki Glaser and Pete Lee and it's on our You Up, my old radio show. We did a whole, we covered it all. It's an epic tale. Now when you play a song. And I played it for him.

And it was like, this is the first day of my life. And then I was so heartbroken. So we both like shared, it was like this is the first day of my life and then i was so heartbroken so we both like shared it was a great you listened to the whole song yeah we listened the whole thing and i was like this just makes me think of you i've been listening to it ever since you left for that college gig you drove back in the middle of the night remember the time you drove all night just to meet just to meet me in the morning i stood out in the rain suddenly everything changed there's spreading blankets on the beach yours were the first face that i saw i mean it's such a good song but it was such it was one of my favorite

songs up to that point and finally i had someone to put it on and i was like share it with and it was such a beautiful moment and then he went back to new york never broke up with his girlfriend i hated him with the passion of a thousand suns and then that song every time it came on I was so embarrassed that I had given him that and shared that moment with someone who could not love me and do what he and and and not that it was like I couldn't listen that song for 12

years and it would make me cringe so much because I'd never been so vulnerable to like share a love song and look deeply into someone's eyes. It's tough. Especially yeah. Voice memo tough. Especially, yeah. Voice memo, let's get to it. This is from, this voice message is from Marnie. Marnie.

Hey, Nikki and Andrew. My name is Marnie. I love your podcast. I've been listening for a very long time. I think I've listened to all of your U-Ups. Whoa. And I even listen to puddles I wanted to know or see if you guys could help me think of a word for

something I want to invent a word for the feeling of anxiety but it has to be like a noun and you have to say the before it so like if you are scared you get the heebie-jeebies oh yeah being scared or another one would be if you are oh like if you're horny and you're a woman you get the vapors oh yeah like oh you can get the willies if you're grossed out oh that gives me the willies you can get the what oh that's good i have anxiety um yeah i need a word thanks guys i love you okay anxiety i get the the what do you want to do when you have anxiety you want to you want to go under the covers you want to like be you want to you get the like the thing about an uh an anxious moment what was the last anxious moment you had where you really felt anxious you're like three minutes ago when you

wouldn't stop talking uh yeah i had the scary warys or the wary scary like something that rhymes is fine i kind of like here i don't want to do scare because that's yeah because that's another thing yeah um shit it's hard i mean it really uh well what are you thinking i like marnie's name because when my sister and i went on a family ski trip in like colorado when we were young we stayed at a condo and the real estate agent was named marnie schloppy and we just couldn't believe that someone's name was the schloppies and i was thinking the schloppies i love it because schloppy marnie schloppy also it makes you laugh and that's all you want

when you have anxiety Marnie schloppy because Marnie is the one that posed this question we're calling and Marnie schloppy is a realtor

in Colorado or maybe Utah I think it might have been Park City Utah or Colorado Vail Marnie schloppy was the realtor

so we're calling when you feel anxiety you're about to send a text to someone the dots are coming up on a text you got an email from your boss Marnie Schlappi was the realtor. So we're calling when you feel anxiety. You're about to send a text to someone. The dots are coming up on a text. You got an email from your boss that you're opening. Oh, I've got the Schlappis. I love it.

The Schlappis. And I hope you are Marnie Schlappi, although you sound too young to be a woman that was selling. How do you spell Schlappi? It was like S-C-H-L-O-P-Y. Marnie Schlappi. How did that work so perfect? I don't know why. Schlappi. How did that work so perfect? I don't know why. Schlappi.

I've never even heard that word before. Well, it's a last name. I know. I've never heard it either. But isn't Marnie Schlappi such a funny name? And it sounds like when you have like a bad car, it's like a jalopy. Yeah, jalopy. Yeah, the Marnie Schlappi.

Yeah, so if you get nervous, we're going to use that now. Thank you, Marnie. I love that. I love coming up with new words. That was great. That was so, I have no shloppiness. No shloppiness here. Shloppy Joe.

And now here's another voice memo from. Oh, shloppy John. Okay, yeah. Speaking of coming up with words, here's one from John. What? Hey, Noah, Andrew, and Nikki. Whoa. Or no jerky, as my friend and I call you.

Or. My God. Both besties listening since you up i just had a potential moment i wanted to run by you guys i'm not even sure if it is a co sounds like a scientist but um it happened to me twice on the same camping trip and i'm curious so you know when you're talking about some maybe weird or obscure topic and a third person walks in and then they're like oh this is a weird moment for me to walk into this conversation oh so good something along those lines some variation of that yes and then everyone gives a laugh and it's like

everyone just has to kind of like sit in that moment oh god john i don't know it's happened to me like 7 000 times and you get the schloppies like as a society we can yeah fuck those people stop it yes john yes i love first of all john nadruki is so funny noah andrew nicky at the end nadruki is so good thank you so much john he hit a point that i don't know why that hit me so hard because because how many times you have like a weird conversation and it's the best conversation no one wants to talk about boring shit and then a boring person this happens to me constantly awkward when someone goes awkward okay you know what just everyone let's get on the same page

that we like to talk about real shit real conversations are so much more interesting than talking about vapid shallow stuff about the weather about just like what you're gonna wear to a thing like i that those conversations can still happen but if someone's in the middle of revealing something about themselves and it makes you uncomfortable just shut up. Like, just try to realize that that's you and that's not them. And honestly, these are just people that are just trying to handle a situation

that makes them feel a little bit sloppy inside. You know? Yeah, I'm sure they got some slops. They're walking into something where a guy's like, and then my mom was just like an alcoholic and they go, okay, wow, should I not join? Actually, no, you shouldn't because you just put us like a hiccup in here and now we have to like put a bookmark in the story and like address that

you're uncomfortable and make you feel safe yeah and then you got to start the story it's like oh do i have to start the story for you at the top do you you know what i mean i am such a overshare and someone who has these conversations with legit people I meet in the elevator where I reveal too much and you know there's something about oversharing that I'm trying to pull back and I've been actually really good about keeping some things in my life private that I'm dying to share with someone there's something going on right now with me that I haven't told literally a single soul in my life that I have to very soon just for safety precautions so I'm gonna bring Andrew into it or maybe Noah,

maybe both of you. How about no Drew keys? Yeah, I'll bring you both in. No Drew. I'll bring in my fans when I'm ready to talk about it. It's nothing. I'm not dying. I'm sorry if it's bad.

But we're all dying. No, no, it's good. But it's just like something that I, there's things that I learned, like I need to keep this private because I'm a 37 year old woman and not everything. And I would keep it private. Listen, I'm not saying it on the radio show because I'm not saying it to anyone

you know, but I have this happen to me all the time where I am talking about something that's like people sometimes tell me about their incest or that they were molested within minutes of meeting me and I haven't asked them about it. I just make people feel comfortable enough that they know I'm not going to judge

them and I don't know what it is that i do and sometimes i make people feel very uncomfortable this doesn't happen all the time but i will say that people oftentimes reveal things to me and they'll say i don't know why i just told you that i just met you you have that happen to you too right yeah ever since i was young i don't know what it is because you're not judgmental yeah and that's the thing it's like if you project an air of like no matter what you tell me i will accept you and i will not be cruel to you about it which i have not created that air with you because you have to walk on eggshells with me because sometimes i will take i will take something you say and like not handle it that way but if you were just a stranger i do accept you

for you but i'm not good about it all the time with you and i know that but i think for other for it's weird that i can't have that same thing with my best friend like where i don't have all this judgment but with strangers i just because i feel like we're so connected i just think it's your fault that you were molested i'm just kidding no but like the judgment of me is the judgment on, you know how you're hard on yourself? You're very hard on yourself. So I think you're hard on me because I'm almost like part of you in a way because we're so connected.

Does that make sense? Yeah, I mean like every time that I say anything mean to you or make you feel less than, it is 100%, no exception, always about me. That's what I'm saying. So it's like, so it's not even about me. I've kind of learned that where it's like. But do you think I've gotten better about it?

Because I have accepted myself more. And so by that, I think that it probably, I've accepted you more. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, definitely. I wouldn't be here. The pistachio incident, the Celsius drinks incident, I was able to get on top of that within 20 minutes

as opposed to a day. But I would like to get on top of that within 20 minutes as opposed to a day, but I would like to get out of it. It's like early in the morning. I'm more like, I'm just like, I don't, I don't even like the other day with, I don't want to bring it up.

It's so stupid. I mean, you have to now. Oh, it's so dumb. I'll know exactly what you're talking about. As soon as you say the first word. Um,

I'm guessing it was, but you caught yourself so i don't care i didn't care what was it tell me i want the dryer you go and i think it's like i think your dad did this to you or something like because you're not you're very easy going about 95 percent of them i i think from the top to the bottom i handle that well i go hey andrew just so you know because i put my clothes in the dryer, Noah, okay? And I always clean out the thing. Do you always do it?

Before I put mine in, right? So this is where we got caught up. So when I take my dryer clothes out, I don't clean the dryer lint sheet, right? But when I put dryer clothes in, I clean it out. So I see it and it is really, really, it's like a huge sheet, very thick. And I thoughtrew had done

two loads at least two loads of laundry the day before he'd only done one okay that's important to know so i go hey andrew just so you know and you've done multiple at this point no i was before that yeah but i always clean it out before i put it in the dryer it's just like a as a habit you know because i know that when you don't clean it out your clothes don't dry as well so i So I just was trying to tell you, like, when you're doing two loads, you definitely want to clean out the first one before you put in the second one. So, but I, I wasn't mad that I was cleaning it out and it wasn't cleaned out yet because I don't clean mine out when I get my stuff out. So, but I was just saying it was so big that I thought you had done multiple loads with it building up. And that's why I was letting you know, like in between you got to clean it.

Yes. And then, and then I, and then he goes he goes oh yeah he said something about doing one load i go oh that was from one load never mind then because that you were fine to leave it but it was it's been brought up in the past there's just like it's just interesting to me because there's only like a couple things that you ever like recycling and the dryer like you don't really pick apart things i just want your clothes to be dry faster and it's just a thing that you didn't know because you never did your laundry i know but for me i get and i and i really do like i i try to like like breathe because like for me i get like upset sometimes because i go well she left her clothes in the dryer and washer when she left for a week. And like multiple times.

But you can call me out on that. I know. Instead of just using it against me later. I know. I'm mad at myself for not calling out certain things that might irritate me. And then get irritated when you call me on things that aren't even that big. I shouldn't even get offended by these things either. No.

And I was just saying it because I literally, because I thought you didn't know about the dryer sheet thing because it took me a while to learn that too. Yeah, I don't really know about it either. You didn't know about how to make coffee and how much water goes in with a scoop. You literally had no clue. And there are things that are just like you haven't done them before.

Because my mom never called me out for these things when I was growing up. I'm learning them too. But did your dad call you? I feel like your dad mom never called me out for these things when i was growing up i'm learning them too and i think your dad call you i feel like your dad must have called you out for things no no not for that for turning off lights okay for uh taking long showers uh for using too much water for wasting so he called you out on things like my my dad oh yeah my dad ignored everything to the point where like i would never know you know because my dad was dirty unless my that's why he married my stepmom because like my dad was a mess he had you know one pizza box in the fridge one half a diet coke he's you he's me in a lot of ways and so he never pointed out like hey take

the garbage out hey did so then you're learning these things i'm learning like at 41 years old so when i hear it from you as as as you know as a friend as a contemporary i think i just like why someone told me what you know you get that kind of ego and it has nothing and i and i swear like but i can be so messy and leave dishes in the sink and like stuff out and like sometimes i look in the living room and i'm like it's so messy and i go literally everything out here is a thing of mine nothing from andrew's room is out and about. I just leave shit everywhere. And I'm like, I wonder if this annoys Andrew. And I hope that he would say something if it did.

It would not offend me if you were like, hey, do you mind putting your stuff away in your room? Like, honestly, it would hurt for a second because I'd be embarrassed that I'm messy. But then I would go, you're right. So there are some times I catch it and I go, I'm sure he was annoyed at this and didn't say anything. And I just want to give you, I truly am saying this. I want to give you license to call out little things that are like,

hey, that bowl's been sitting there for a while. I don't feel like cleaning out. Can you do that? Like that would not bother me in the long run. But for me, and I think a lot of probably couples deal with it when they live together or just roommates, I guess. But it's like, when do you call out someone? When it bugs you the first time.

The first time. The first time. Interesting. The first time. I would think maybe like the 10th time. No, because by then it is turned into a resentment. Or guess what? The ninth time, because you're waiting for the 10th.

Yeah. I come out and I say, Andrew, this thing, I complain about a thing that I'm realizing the first time. Yeah. And then the nine times are so much more than this one thing that Nikki called up for the first time I did it but she's done it nine times and I wasn't gonna say something till the 10th yeah and then it explodes so true it's so hard in the moment to do and we're getting better at it every day oh yeah and and it's always good to have these conversations um especially at the end of the week what a strong

end it's been a great week stronger than ever, thank you so much for this week of shows. Besties, I am so in love with you and the messages we got and the fact that you listened to our show. Our fans are awesome. You're the fucking best, dude. And I'm very grateful for you. I cannot wait to see you in Cancun

if you can afford it. Also, my tour dates, I added Waterloo, New York, another show in San Antonio. I think, what were the other dates? Napa. Napa. And then there's one other one that I'm excited about.

San Diego? San Diego, yes, San Diego. So all the tour dates are up at NikkiGlaser.com slash tour. It is going to be so much fun. I'm going to do so many weird things. You're going to walk away from the show being like, what did I just see? Like in a good way. And it's going to be catered to you, besties, because I love you most of all. from the show being like what did I just see like in a good way and it's gonna be catered

to you besties because I love you most of all thank you for being my fan and spread the word about F boy Island get excited about it and yeah we're this weekend we're gonna watch more friends we're gonna watch more morning show we're going to watch more bachelorette on Monday and I hope you'll be there

with us for all of it yeah I can you guys are awesome I really I appreciate you guys and there with us for all of it. You guys are awesome. I really appreciate you guys. And listen to Puddles even. That was amazing. Alright guys, I hope you don't feel schloppy this weekend. All the swells. The schloppies. And yeah, don't get the schloppies. All the swells.

Signing off. Yeah, cool. Signing off. It's no Drew Key. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool. Signing off, it's no Drew Key. Okay. Okay. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How to Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. mini questions is returning for another season we've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions including jane lynch delaney rowe and cord jefferson listen to mini questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts seven questions limitless You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club.

Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Woman sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,

and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives

dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences,

Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding

of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.