The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #480 Could Nikki Join A Football Team? Love of The Game & Live Reading from Tyler Henry!

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

While you're hearing this, Nikki is in a photoshoot for a magazine… she recalls the early ones she used to read about celebrity culture.  She Brian and Noa discuss if celebrities are truly like us. Brian reminded Nikki about an SUV Voice Over ad she really wants to do. Checkout NikkiGlaser.com because Nikki has a bunch of new tour dates added to her schedule. Currently, she’s been binge-watching football games and even hit up a Chiefs game over the weekend. Her boyfriend thinks it’s so hot that she’s picking up on the plays, and Nikki is enjoying the games way more now that she actually gets what’s happening. Brian shares a well-known football secret. Could Nikki level up her football obsession by joining a league?  In the Final Thought, Brian questions whether Nikki is a believer after being a guest on Live From The Other Side with Tyler Henry on Netflix, and the answer is very even-keeled despite having overshared her family stories. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki Hello, here I am Welcome to the show, it's Nikki Glaser Podcast

It's Thursday for you I'm in New York City At a photo shoot all day That's not where I am now Because it's not Thursday But Thursday, that's where I will be This is time travel It really really is podcasting is time travel but that's what i'm doing right now if you're listening to this on thursday i'm on set all day feeling awkward what are you taking

photos for it's a um magazine uh that i i don't know if i can even say that i'm doing but it's an it's a magazine that is you you would recognize the name of it. Are you doing an interview? Yes, I'm doing an interview for this magazine. And it also comes with a photo shoot. Wait, I get it. I know what it is. I can guess.

But is that allowed? No, no guessing. No guessing. I'll get the Akinator involved. I'll get the Akinator involved i'll get the a-kinator involved yes is it some highlights i wish remember highlights oh yeah i mean what where where would highlights be without that game on the back cover i mean what was the game on the back cover i don't remember i think it was a fine search the search thing yeah yeah i love disney magazine oh i never read they were little

of course yes they're little and they they were like your first foray into like an entertainment magazine for a child i do remember i got entertainment magazine at a very young age probably sixth or seventh grade i was obsessed with entertainment magazine and i got a call uh asking me to do a survey about my experience as someone who is subscribed to entertainment magazine and they were interviewing a seventh grader and they asked me what features do you want more of and i said celebrities like out and about in their normal lives we want really good we want more like right like the not the red carpet stuff but more like them walking like i i was on top of what yes i want the celebrities are just like us i want us us magazine like i want celebrities to be taken down and stalked i don't want them to be

applauded and in these fake scenarios where they always seem perfect. I want the real dirt. I want to feel connected to my celebrity that I could maybe be one someday. I never even connected that undercurrent of calling it Us Weekly is trying to take these celebrities and bring them down

into they're just us because that's the whole point of the magazine is to show them dirty and un-showered. To continue our conversation from the last episode, into they're just us because that's the whole point of the magazine is to show them they are just us to continue our conversation from the last episode this like celebrities are like when you're in the same room as a celebrity a shiny person

it is nice to remind yourself they're just they like took a dump today and they only are just talented at a thing that makes people money that's the only thing that makes them special otherwise they're really the same i will disagree huh i will disagree disagree finger up really disagree finger only because they are not like us because i do feel like when they get to that celebrity status their whole perception of reality is like completely

different and it's what we were talking about where everyone's nice to them they never have to really lift a finger they get stuff for free yes yeah well and then yeah you also have you have a support staff around you yeah which is not everyone tells you you look amazing all the time all the time i've never not looked amazing to everyone who works for me. I always look like, sometimes they'll be like, maybe not those boots, but like that's the most criticism I'll ever get

from someone who is on my payroll. Maybe not those boots. That's pretty harsh. And I cry and I fire them immediately because I go, what do you mean not these boots i am wearing them thus they must be perfect no and that's why i appreciate people like emily gen z m working for me because she we have such a good friendship that i honestly even though she does look up to me she does work for me she's been able to be like girl let's not do that like

more like you're better than that like her old stance is you're better than that so it's all it's a compliment and also it's been established that she's a huge fan of you it's like if that if you didn't have that foundation of respect she's rooting for me would be she wants you to succeed she yes absolutely So today I actually sent her. We posted new tour dates. New tour dates up right now. Tons new more. Fort Lauderdale. Like lots and lots of dates added and more dates are coming. And I got so many messages from comedians that are jealous of my tour schedule. It was so funny. I woke up from a nap and during that nap, my tour schedule got posted and I got DMs and messages

from comedians who are big that are like, I'm so jealous of your tour schedule. And I'm like, I don't have a life. I understand looking at my tour schedule and being like, wow, she's killing it

because I am. But that is so much work and I don't have a life when that's going on and everyone needs to remember that but it was just interesting to me I was just like then you guys go do this like I didn't I literally didn't do anything to get it I just said yes to everything like I wasn't like I want to go here and I want to go here and this is what I'm going to do like I'm not a type of person that like has goals like that of like and then we're going to go there and we're like it's just that's just you just say yes so I was kind of perplexed at this like what the fuck you have so many dates how are you doing this and I was like I don't I don't know

the demand is high that's me being not modest I don't know I guess people just love me that's not at all what I'm saying but I just the people that love me. That's not at all what I'm saying, but I just, the people that wrote me have more demand than I do. And I was like, you, but you chose to have a family that you need to be there for. I don't have that.

I literally wrote to this person. I go, but you have dozens and dozens of millions of more dollars than I do. So you deserve time off. I don't have that luxury. The world is ending. I need to figure out a plan for when entertainment stops. And I...

Which is probably pretty soon, honestly. Five years. I'm not kidding you. I think it's the next five to ten years. I'm saying yes to everything. I am. It's a cash grab for me. Not because I want new go-yard bags, Emily.

It's because I want go-bags to stuff with flares and flint and jerky and other and gauze. Other survival things? You forgot the most important thing of all. Water. Water filtration. Water filtration.

Number one in an apocalypse situation? We'll see. Just kidding. Of course it is. Yes, you're right. Yeah, after three days, you die with no water. And what's the tablets that you can take and kill yourself with? Well, some guy might come in.

That's the most important part. The most important thing is a gun because you can just shoot the person with the water filtration thing and take it. Oh, and that will be happening a lot and um i unlike kamala harris would not know what to do with a glock um and have no desire to i would rather be shot than shoot someone but not as much as you think water what they've done studies about this about people assume like i i study a lot i watch a lot of zombie movies because i love zombie movies and there is like this new era of zombie movies where as soon as the apocalypse happens, everyone just starts killing each other. And the world becomes roving gangs of criminals.

But it's actually we get together and we like help each other. Exactly. Historically. Until things really fall apart, like it's been months and months and months. The only people who survive are the ones who are criminals.

At the beginning of every crisis, everyone is nicer to each other. Like think about New York City, the day after 9 11 people weren't like running around looting they were like there was the nicest time ever in new york a lot of 9 12 right yeah we need another one of those no um that's what i'm saying but it did create a even like you know the natural disasters that are going on like like people come together. It really is sweet. And it's sorry that it takes that.

But yeah, that's my point of working so hard. I'm just, I want to coast at some point, or I just want to get as much as possible. You need to get a compound. I just can't buy a $3,000 bag. I'm not going to do it, Emily. I don't care what you say. I literally can't do it. I will think about that Goyer bag when I'm trying to cut it up and eat it and be

like can i eat this leather during the apocalypse i'll be so mad at this expensive dyed leather that i can't eat uh what'd you say no so emily's encouraging you to buy a designer bag yeah because it's just a good statement piece it looks chic it's a it's a good looking purse but to me it is just a way to let people know that you have money and i know that there's a lot of stuff like that but like that's why in france no one wears labels like louis vuitton is a french company and no one in france i don't want to say no one but i've heard french people who are no fashion do not wear labels because they think it's tacky. It's tacky.

Yeah. Americans love showing off their wealth. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's also Gaspard. I don't know what that means, actually. Is that just a name? Well, it's a cool name, but it feels like uniquely American, or at least we established established this that you need to show off the brands you have to have a fancy car just to

show people you have a lot of money in fact it bleeds down to even inexpensive things things that are branded to seem expensive when they're not even a Lexus is not that expensive but it's branded like it's a fancy car and so people

poor people, not poor, but middle-class people buy Lexuses to be like, look, I have money. Oh, man. You just reminded me. I got asked to do a voiceover audition for a luxury car company. Oh, no.

And I really want to do it. Where is it? When is it due? Jesus, please, God. A luxury car company? Can we is it um you always want to guess i want to know what it is i mean it's it's it's it's the best high times when would this be due is it a car that you would drive double has it been uh has it been in a is it thursday october 10th yet no on this podcast it is but not in time okay sweet i have a couple days to get my voice back and learn how to talk

about a car like it's in a fucking uh you know van gogh painting you had like you're fucking it basically on literally yes like it is a newborn child i just birthed and is it is the second coming of christ that this new suv hybrid that's literally the tone is so funny but i'm like oh you know what i'm gonna do this voiceover like the joke version of this like that's the way that's the way it's because all that is is sincerity yeah yeah we're all so allergic to sincerity that we can't even imagine doing that even the sincere yeah can i tell you like the the the kind of notes they give for this sure um is this going to compromise the job no i wouldn't do that um tone of the spot is playful and rye i like rye i like that most

people probably have to google that word um and then the there's another one tone of the spot is assertive and proud tone of the spot is proud oh but this is a good one wait these are different tones these are so each spot has a different tone okay and there's like a script and it's you know the script is like a couple sentences so the first one playful and wry okay let me do playful and wry give me a sentence uh the fox jumped over the lazy dog is that the one that people type in that okay this is playful and right the fuck wait the fox jumped over the lazy dog okay that's playful and wry can i ask you this in this in this spot is it supposed to be like you as nikki glazer or is it supposed to be just like you're auditioning

it's supposed to be i mean obviously they they asked for me to audition so i think it's one of those things where they want a celebrity's voice where people go i recognize that voice i respect that voice who is that right was that john ham right was that uh that guy from snl like the buffalo wild wings uh buffalo is um what's his name from snl and you recognize it you go i know this voice but what is it it's just a familiarity who is it okay assertive and proud the fox jumped over the lazy dog. I'm like proud of the fox. Okay. And then next one is proud, but

not over the top. The fox jumped over the lazy dog. That was the best one. I like it. Well, they're all different. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'm doing. It's a crapshoot. I love voice much. I don't know what I'm doing. It's a crapshoot. I love voiceover because I don't have to put on makeup.

Or what? But that'll be fun. I'm so glad you brought that up. Luxury cars, though, yeah. This driving the Mercedes that I drive, like I told you, I feel like I get more respect everywhere I go. Yeah. Well, I mean, your other car was so old like

that it was fun your other car was uh you weren't getting respect with your other car because it was like a shockingly crappy car but it okay here's the thing it worked it was safe it never broke down so no one should be judging me for it like if it's you shouldn't think i'm a better person because i drive an expensive car i don't think I'm a better person because I drive an expensive car that's fast I don't think anyone was judging you but because it was Julie's car it wasn't like your choice like your

taste no if you wanted to if you were writing a scene in a movie where you wanted to introduce like an interesting moment for a character who has a lot of money but you wanted to make it interesting you'd have him come out of a car like that. Yeah, like what's going on with this person? Yeah,

that's I liked being that person for a while and I'm still that person. I still dress like that and I'm not getting a go-yard bag. I'll get a fake go-yard bag sign me up. I don't care but I'm not spending $3,000 on a handbag that people know is $3,000 because that is the only reason you get it

is so that someone goes, ooh, she has $3,000 to spend. She must be better than me and I want to be friends with her because when people want to be friends with you because you have money, disgusting. And everyone who has money needs to look into their life

and make sure, that's why I really liked, this weekend I was in Kansas City and around Travis Kelsey's like group of people and everyone in his life like everyone I met has known Travis for like 12 years

and I'm like good guy alert right like wholesome keeping like I love when I meet celebrities who their entourage is a bunch of people that are not that that were there in the beginning and it doesn't always have to be that way it's not like no new friends but it's just

it says a lot about someone and that's why I keep mine around so people think I'm humble mine's strategic you've been paying all your high school friends monthly to stay around I um no I had a great weekend in Kansas City.

I went to see Kirsten. I also started comedy in Kansas City. I went to KU. Kansas City, I've lived there a lot. I lost my virginity in downtown Kansas City to a guy who will, you know, will remain nameless. I, I auditioned for last comic standing out of Kansas in Chicago,

but with, you know, I got on TV for the first time when I was in Kansas city. I, yeah, I fell in love for the first time in Kansas city. A lot of things happen in Kansas city and I love it. And going back is awesome.

And that city fucking rules. It's so good. Because you compare it to St. Louis because it's like on the other side of Missouri if you don't know. If you folded Missouri in half, Kansas City and Missouri would kiss because they're literally on the opposite sides.

Same latitude I guess. So Kansas City is superior to St. Louis? Dude, no offense St. Louis. I'm so sorry. is superior to st. dude no offense st. Louis I'm so sorry but like even Chris who is like the biggest st. Louis fan was like I go babe it's not even a competition Kansas City fucking nails it they've got all these cool districts all these like there's just their stadium is amazing they have an Opera House that I saw that was incredible. They have the plaza. They have, I mean, I just, it's just.

They've got a baseball team and a football team. Their new airport is gorgeous. They have a baseball team and a football team that are both, the Royals did well last night in the playoffs. I was at the Chiefs game and during the Chiefs game, they started screaming for no reason. And I go, what's happening? And it was because the Royals had just won a game.

And it's like this town just keeps on winning. I want to go to Kansas City. The Royals famously have not won anything. You'll love it. I don't think the Royals have ever won. I'm not, let me look that up. No, yes, they did. They won the World Series 10 years ago.

Oh, God, really? Yeah. And that's when the city kind of like, at least I've heard, kind of turned around and really became what it is today. But it is thriving and um and yeah i went to my first uh chief's home game last week and and um it was so fun and i love understanding football now i fuck like you get it do you know what it feels like i told ch Do you know what it feels like?

I told Chris, I was like, it feels like and I did post something in my story where something happened on the field and I turned to Chris and I go, what just happened? And it was a very obvious tackle. And I was being funny. I knew what was happening. I understand football probably 400% more than I ever did. I used to watch. I don't even know what I did at football games.

I understood literally none of it, which, by the way, in the show, nobody wants this. They also talk about how they don't know anything. No, no, no. Sorry. It wasn't that Jackie Tone and Kristen Bell are best friends. They're both on the show, but they're best friends in real life. And they were doing an interview about like what what would be the worst Jeopardy category. And Bell said sports and they both were like we don't know football at all at all and it made me feel so good but I'm not with them anymore girls

sorry I left you behind I understand it now didn't take that long it did for me I gotta say Brian for me as someone who when I try I kind of get things pretty quickly it was it was a struggle it was like learning a new language and i am still in like spanish too on it but i can i can figure

some stuff out but i will say i learned yesterday if the ball hits the ground it's done i thought it could bounce and then someone could catch it and run you know there's little things that pop up that are like very well known that i'm like oh i did i still didn't know that right that's true in rugby though it's another confusing okay you could hit the ground you could still keep moving but i loved it i it's like you know you know when you realize i remember looking at my mom's cursive handwriting and going like when i before i could read and going what is that like what i don't know what it is i like the look of it but i don't know what it is. I like the look of it, but I don't know what it is. And then one day you learn and it all of a sudden it,

you can read it. And that's how football felt to me. It was like this thing that I could look at and it was pretty to look at or interesting, but there was no comprehension. It really felt like I just learned to read and all, and all of a sudden I'm like understanding most of what's happening. It was like,

it was so fucking fun to like know when to cheer and I like I know last week I said I wasn't really sure when to cheer I am like locked into when to cheer I get it now here's the only thing I can't when you are watching a game on the field and Brian you can talk to this you don't really know sometimes if they've made first down because it's like right on the edge and you the angle you're watching from on the field can it can be hard to see if the even we were like right next to the

field goal parallel with it so we couldn't tell to me it looks like they made every field goal right you're in the area yes yes that's hard to see which is awesome when something cool happened down there i think ideal area but like when anything was happening on the other side of the field i just i really couldn't

understand it but boy it was so much fun and chiefs fans are wild um they do a chant that i couldn't really join in on because i don't know if it's i'm going to be canceled if i'm photographed doing it but that is beside the point um i don't know if they're not they're definitely not encouraging them to do the tomahawk chop but it's not being there's no like you know sign being like tomahawk chop but there's no like we're not doing this anymore everyone but i do like i did sing the chant they're one of the few teams that just kind of maintain their native american status without anyone questioning it at all yeah because their logo is an arrowhead it's not an a head it's not a literal and their mascot is a gay wolf is a androgynous it's not even gay he's like asexual and he's like the guy that he's um furry yeah he's

like a furry it's a really strange mascot um and so yes but i did see a white man in a full indian headdress and was like oh it's nice to be back in 2004 the last time that was okay to do um i was just like it almost felt uh yeah and then if you pause everyone doing that tomahawk chop at the right time and everyone's doing it simultaneously back to 1942 yeah it was i kept trying to get it to show chris to be like look at this look at this group of people all just mostly white mostly white um but it But it was so fun. And maybe more on that after the break. After this.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Gee-ha. Oh, I didn't call. Gee-ha Stadium is where it was. So I heard Joe Buck say G-E-H-A. He like spelled out the letters. That's what they're calling it. Yeah, that's what I heard last night is G-E-H-A.

Gee-ha. But it is gay-ha. Gay-ha. Yeah. Gay-ha Stadium. Joee buck fun fact about joe buck he went to indiana university and he's a hoosiers fan and i went to indiana university i really didn't know that until last night because during the broadcast troy acheman said that he's excited to see the hoosiers because the indiana football hoosiers are six and oh which that's the first time i think they've ever been 6-0. They're actually good.

They're ranked. It's a miracle. They've never been good at football. And Joe Buck and Troy Aikman gave them a shout out last night during the broadcast. Aw. Because Joe Buck's an Indiana Hoosier. Well, Joe Buck is a friend of mine, as you may or may not know. And he's the guy that gave me my sorry i'm having acid reflux

i might need joe buck again because he gave me my throat surgeon he hooked me up with dr zeitels who um you know joe had a hair transplant and had like a tube down his throat during the procedure and it damaged his vocal cord i remember this and so dr zeitels uh was the one that um remedied it and then joe buck also i recently wrote him because whenever i'm in saint you know in saint louis if you want the best of something like it's hard to like the coasts get people that are like i'm the best at what i do i'm gonna go to the coast to make the most money doing this thing and then i think a lot of times in the Midwest. Yeah.

It's like be good. There are great, great talented people in the Midwest, i.e. myself that have stayed, but they're harder to find. So I just go to Joe Buck and I go, Hey,

who's a good makeup person? Who's a good stylist? Who have you used? Who's a good body work guy? So he sent my mom to a nice body work specialist, but Joe Buck is one of the nicest guys. I love so much he's so funny and uh yeah i love hearing him on monday night football his voice is soothing to me he uh he's he's one of my favorites and and uh so you watched the game last night of course yeah i watch all the games did you enjoy it were you did you any good moments

for you? Well, I put a ladder. Cause I can talk about the game. I don't know if you noticed, but I saw the game and I could talk about, this is the first time I've ever been to be like, I could talk about plays and stuff. I put a ladder on Rashid Shahid,

which a ladder is a betting term where you can bet that you, you place like many different bets, climbing a ladder of stats so for example for rashid shaheed the stats started at 47 receiving yards so you place a bet that'll hit 47 receiving yards then you place another bet that'll get 57 then another one that'll get 67 then another one that'll get 77 so if he keeps doing amazingly well you just keep winning over and over and over again so i did that. And, um, okay.

Amazingly well, I didn't even hear his name even once or notice that he did anything. So maybe I can't talk about this. He caught that touchdown pass, that long touchdown pass that he's on the side. That was exciting. He caught that long touchdown pass. That was pretty impressive.

It is. It's very interesting. You know, like I know this is dumb observation to a dumb observation to make but like the saints obviously were maybe one one one percent of the crowd two percent of the crowd yeah we can't beat out the chiefs fans i mean no no no they're it's insane but so the saints would do like something amazing right that if the chiefs did it the place the Saints would do like something amazing, right? That if the Chiefs did it, the place, the fireworks would go off. But then the Saints do it and it's dead silent.

And I'm like, but can't I still want to celebrate the feat of athleticism I just saw even as a Chiefs fan? Is that a weird impulse to have that like when the other team does something that you're just still you still want to be like, well, good job. That was particularly amazing, like some one-handed catch or something but like mostly you just anger okay how did he let how did your defense let him do that how is he like it's almost like disbelief like i can't believe he caught that okay football question do you when you're rooting for a team isn't it less exciting when they are playing defense? Or is it equally exciting and I'm just missing something? Because for me, I'm like, I just want to get points. I think for most people, they would say offense is more exciting.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, good. But if you're winning and you just need to dominate the other team and not let them score, it's kind of exciting. So here's the most interesting thing that happened in the game last night, and it's Taylor Swift related. Oh.

So do you remember the Saint, big fat defensive player i love this detail detail so yes a guy like that never ever touches the football like that and gets to run with it and so he caught a deflected interception he ran down the field what does deflected mean it was like tipped like someone hit someone's hand and then flew up in the air and then landed in his lap that guy first of all he used to be a chief he used to be a chief that's right but second of all do you want to second of all yes he is the brother of com Saunders, who is Taylor Swift's probably most iconic dancer on Era's tour.

And Com, or Cam, I believe it's Com, is from St. Louis. Wow, I didn't know that. Which is also cool. Com is brothers with the guy that used to play on the Chiefs that the Chiefs are now playing. So Com was there at the

game and that was so cool and his brother had like ran the ball as a defense he's a defensive guy he never touches the ball apparently in high school he played uh running back also so he was actually good fuck yeah so he carried the ball troy acheman was uh celebrating how good he was at actually holding the ball because as a defensive player you're not known to be able to hold the ball usually you play defense because you can't catch and you can't carry the ball but you're fast and you're oh they're like me with a baby it's a little bit awkward don't know what to do with it and people comment if you're good at it at all right you're better at defense on when it comes to baby yeah yeah yeah i um i i turned chris on at one point because um there was a whistle blown right before the play and he goes what is

that i go false start and he was just like oh yeah and i didn't think that was that impressive because i just know that if the whistle's blown before anything happens it's always a false start i've just like picked up okay i have a i have a real hack for you this is this is a real hack i don't even want to say it because i i feel like i impress people with this sometimes and now they're gonna they're gonna know my secret okay okay but this is not it's not like some it's a well-known secret you can tell 50 of the time what penalty is about to be called by the refs based on where the flag was thrown. Okay. So if the flag was thrown, like if you start the line of scrimmage where the ball starts,

and then if you go 30 yards down, if a flag is thrown 30 yards down, nine times out of 10, that's going to be pass interference. So just because of where the flag was i'm sorry isn't the idea of football to interfere with a pass why is that a penalty i don't even know what that is the pass but not with the person trying to catch the pass oh so it just means they like within what's holding is that a type of pass interference yes it can be and that could also be defensive or offensive this is always the answer to football it can be it's like oh god is it just yes or no well oftentimes but not always

um so watch for where that flag is thrown if the flag is thrown behind the line of scrimmage it's almost always holding okay if the flag is thrown right at the line of scrimmage, it's usually a false start. If the flag is thrown and it lands, uh, if the flag is thrown after the play ends and it's somewhere that the cameras weren't even seen, it's almost always a personal foul,

uh, for, uh, like doing something like punching someone in the face or something like, so if you just watch, start watching where the flags are thrown i'm throwing a flag on this conversation okay but i i get what you're saying start watching where and when the penalty is and you'll you'll get you'll start to be able to say what the penalty is before the ref says it it's so fun i just you know i think i'm sorry to talk about football so much, but I hope that besties can relate.

And I hope that everyone out there kind of forces yourself to maybe get into something that you were always really like. I don't it's not for me, but you had a kind of like people in your life like it. But you always sit out the conversations, force yourself to try to get it, because when you do and it took me literally a year, you guys, it's been a year of trying to understand football. Chris bought me a board with the magnets. I've been watching YouTube videos and it's been slow, but it's finally here. And I had a fucking blast at this game, understanding, not even needing to like, I've never once stood at a football game and wanted to. I only did it because everyone else was. I've never once given a fuck about anything that happens at a football game because I don't care.

I'm not rooting for a team. And it's just so exciting to care about something. Oh, my God. And it really is. I really implore people to open their minds. That's the secret to life. Oh, I was talking to a woman yesterday who is a talent manager. Shout out to Jen.

I met her. And she was a woman definitely older than me. I don't know how old she was. Yeah, she works with talent, talent booking, talent stuff. And she was talking about, oh, I've always wanted to do this thing in entertainment agent. She was like, I think I'd be a good agent. And I go, do it. And she's like, I'm too old. And I go, here's the thing about this old thing. You're never too old. All you need really is the passion of a young person and the energy of a young person, which you probably lack if

you're in your 60s and you want to start something new. But you know what gives you energy is passion. You can get the same passion that like a kind of reluctant 20 something entering into a business has if you really find a way to love it. And that's what can if that's what makes it so you can start something new because it's so hard to start new things when you're this old. Like now at 40, I'm just like, I don't want to learn tennis. But it's like I got 25 more years of playing good tennis without really injuring myself if I learned. And how good can I get in 25 years? I'll never find out because I didn't get a tennis court in my backyard and i refused to learn in front of other people but um well the secret to all this is that it's always manufactured like there are some people who like have been passionate about something

since they were a little kid but but it was manufactured at some point it didn't come from nothing it's not just intrinsic in your soul that you're passionate for something because ultimately well ultimately everything nothing matters nothing that you do matters yeah something. I doubt that. Ultimately, nothing matters. Nothing that you do matters. The day you die, you're going to look back and be like, oh, I was good at tennis for 20 years. That doesn't matter. Everything you do needs

to be forced. At some point, you need to force to care. I would position it as having an open mind. You need to have an open mind, caring it's about it's about being passionate and caring about things that intrinsically do not it's like nerd nerd culture almost it's like how could it why does someone care so much about star trek and it's like because fucking nothing matters right but also i you know what you know what people also need is people who do

care about things that they have a lot of knowledge about that ever other people are behind on they need to be very welcoming to people who don't know and not judgmental because i found that that's why i like gen z they don't seem to judge me for being interested in learning their ways and not being like she's old and she's trying to look young because that's not what i'm doing i'm just trying they don't seem to judge me for being interested in learning their ways and not being like, she's old and she's trying to look young. Cause that's not what I'm doing. I'm just trying to keep my mind young. Yes.

Honestly. Yes. And I haven't felt any judgment of, which would have been my initial reaction of like, ew, Nikki's trying to be young or like understand our, like what Riz means. Cause she wants to use it. So people think she's young.

I just think it's cool. I think you guys are cool. And I like that the way you talk. And I think that football, I've, I've had a lot of compassion from people helping me understand the game. And I think that that's what turns people off is because they just don't want to look stupid,

but I was going to go to some kind of class. Oh, I wanted to like maybe join like a flag football team, but I just like like how are there enough people like me at 40 who are women who don't know anything about who've never played like because i don't want to play with girls that are really competitive and good at sports yeah it depends i even i who like loved i played basketball for years and years and years i couldn't join like a zog sports because the people are way too competitive. Yeah, we need a different rung.

There needs to be a 40 plus. People who are going to cancel most of the time. Right. There needs to be a 40 plus half cancel, half not cancel league where people are like, I'm just here to have like a nice time and get some exercise. I don't need to win the game

to prove that I have worth. Dude, I like did a workout with kirsten this weekend she's a you know trainer and she just showed me some stuff and i'm in pretty fucking good i'm probably in the best shape of my life because i do this plank class every day it's i thought i was getting a full body workout and that is not the case i am so goddamn sore from the stuff she's teaching me to do and i i'm i'm like oh no i have to start doing other stuff now i have to do like deadlifts and cross-training i have to cross-train and it's my body is so sore and i work out every day i was so depressed at how sore i got and it was a it was eye-opening that I have to do it. But I think that that's another thing. People getting in shape. This plank class I go to,

shout out, love you. It's called Legree. That's not the name of it. That's the kind of workout I do. And I'm truly obsessed with it. Don't walk in there as a novice. You're not going to have a good time. Like I had to go learn Pilates one-on-one from people to get fit enough to even walk in this class. Because sometimes I see a beginner walk in this class and I go, this is not fair. She's never going to come back.

This is so overwhelming. I would have a panic attack if I were her because I could see that she doesn't know what she's doing. She definitely can't do a plank hold. And they give modifications, I would have a panic attack if I were her because I could see that she's doesn't know what she's doing. She's definitely can't do a plank hold and they give modifications, but like it's, it sucks that to even work out at places that most people are going, you have to like train before you go there. That's how I feel about so many things is that there's not enough beginner

stuff for adults, like real beginner. We got to get like, if you don't get it in early you're kind of lost sure um but that's what duolingo is for i guess to get you ready you know what you know what i think is like one of the most welcoming uh exercise situations and this is coming from an outsider i don't know this for sure but rock climbing gyms i feel like they want you in there like they they just want you in there

they just want to talk to someone they're all like high but also caffeinated chatty they want to like belay you they want to teach you about the carabiners right yeah they're they're real that does seem like a warm welcoming community which to me would be an extremely intimidating thing to go in and start doing. Yeah. But that does see, they do seem friendly. I wouldn't want to do it because I don't want friends. Like I want to just go work out alone,

listen to angry music and then leave. I don't want to have to like socialize every time I go to the gym. Yeah. I heard a really funny bit. Joe Zimmerman has a, is one of my favorite comedians and he has a special out right now on YouTube. And it's so funny, you guys. Joe Zimmerman, if you want a good new stand-up special.

But one of the jokes that I'm just like, I can't believe this. Like, you know, when you come across a joke, you're like, why didn't I think of that? It's like right there. Why hasn't everyone thought of it? But he's like, as a kid all you do want to do is play and the worst thing is when like you get called in for dinner because you're like i gotta go eat i want to play and like then the other worst thing as a kid is bedtime you're like i don't want to go to bed i want to play and then you become an adult and that's literally all you

want to do like your whole life revolves around the two things as a kid you were trying to avoid the most so you could play and then when you get together with friends to quote unquote play there's no play anymore you get together to go eat you're like let's go do the eating thing or you sit around with your friend and you watch a football game and you watch other boys play and it was just such a great joe zimmerman amazing that bit like floored me because it was just so it came around it like it proved a thesis and it was just one of those that you're like damn that's so true but um and then he just said you know like going to school and i i've heard people talk about like running the mile in your street clothes and then you have to go learn math and stuff like that but he has a great bit about that where it's like

you would have you would eat spaghetti and milk and then they'd go like go to recess now go run around on a parking lot that was so funny that's great too i had a great time watching comedy this weekend um i went to see andrew santino he was in um another redhead comedian yes oh wait is joseph redhead i thought so oh he doesn't strike me as one oh he seems so um that was a joke i love redheads um so yeah he's definitely redheaded he's a little redhead no he's he's not just a little it's joe if you're listening you don't strike me as one by the way joe one time we were we like used to we were like friends for a little bit we're still friends but like we were hanging out and he was going to the mall of america to perform and i told him to go like do not go you got to see the seals like they have indoor seals that

do a show it's disgusting like i was like really upset by it i wanted to protest during the thing because these seals are just locked in this mall all day long it's like barbaric it's disgusting wet seal and he thought i meant ghosts he bought a ticket to go see the seals and he and he wrote me afterwards i saw the seals and i was like isn't that fucked up and he was like what do you mean he misinterpreted why i wanted him to see the seals like i just want you to like see them and be horrified by it but it was really funny he's just a great guy but i i loved i'm becoming an snl head go see the go see the you have to go check out the border i mean you gotta see what's going on down there

yeah and he comes back he's like wow that wall was amazing yeah i watched snl this weekend because obviously it's emile was on nate was on two friends so much fucking fun to watch that i like like it almost felt like the way i used to watch it when i was like 11 12 of like snl is coming on like i love anticipatory television um so much fun to see emil again in an actual um i didn't see i think maybe he was in a sketch like on set last week but his first week but for me i only saw the taped pieces ones because i didn't watch it live but this time I got to watch it live with my sister. We were laughing so hard. He was in a scene that I fucking loved. Have you talked to him about how it is doing everything? Yeah, he's having a blast.

Great. He's so cool. And can you imagine being 25 and being cool and calm about being on SNL and being like, it'll happen when it happens. I'm just having a good time. Not freaking out about anything. It's so much work.

I've seen SNL. I think I've seen it twice. And I know that they do like the run through and then they do the actual show. It's incredible. Yeah, I was in the audience. Oh, I thought you meant like the show. I was like, Noah, what?

Oh, so you've been to the show. Oh, yes. Yes. It's incredible. Yeah, it. Yes. They have a run through. Incredible. Yeah. It's insane what they put on every week and they start writing. You know, they they I think pitch sketches on Wednesday and then they start producing them on Thursday and shooting stuff on Friday.

And then it then by Saturday, it's like time to go, you know, like and they don't do any prep. Like if you are hosting the show. Your first day, I think, is Monday. They have Sunday off, you know, to recuperate. And then Monday, you show up at the office. And I think everyone writes. And then I think Wednesday is when you kind of get pitched the scripts. It happens within days.

It's incredible what they do. I mean, it's a really hard job. I love it. And everyone who says, says like it's not good or like that it's like like you have to write if it's every week and you have to write a full hour sketch show every week that has like all your sketches like gary sinise in them like you need to like tailor make it to this to the host that is one of the hardest things you could possibly do and the fact that they get even just one good sketch per week is a miracle they had so many this week nate's monologue was so funny he was so good he's just so he's such a

like he would have been a great snl cast member he's just like made for that show he's so himself in every sketch but he's a really good actor as himself his line reads are so on point everything he says is funny he um and you can tell he's actually like really trying you know like he has this great kind of vibe of of not putting in too much effort which makes him very likable but at the same time i know that he trying, like he takes it very seriously. Some of the sketches that were so good was the George Washington one where he's, you know, a founding father and he has dreams of this country and all the dreams are

about like the way we spell things. And like this, like the absurdity of how we have a name for the number 12, another name dozen. And they're like, sir, will there be any other names for other numbers no only that one like he's just he has all these dreams of how americans spell things and it's just it's a great sketch and it was um the second version they did

of it and then they did another one uh the final sketch of the night was my favorite where he plays a assistant coach and this team during halftime, a high school basketball team is getting a pep talk from their coach of like, you guys got to want it. It's about focus. You got to go out there and it's whatever team wants it the most. And I'll feel like you boys want it.

And then he's like, you know, Coach Welsh, do you have anything to say? And then Nate comes in and he's like, you know, guys, I still need, a lot of you sold me $20 for the jerseys if you could ask your parents. And so he just keeps harping on this twenty dollars but the brilliant turn i like you know it's it's really hard to end a sketch and and and make it hilarious like the ending and you know that i think a lot of times you just like get out on whatever you can and sometimes

they go on too long because you can't find an ending it's really from what i understand about sketch writing ending stuff is hard is that correct brian yeah endings are probably the hardest part i would say right but this one had a great one because so this coach keeps talking about the 20 he needs for the shirts and can you guys ask your parents and can you please write the checkout you can't write coach alan it's alan welsh it's w l c h w l-H. There's a C in there. Back to you, coach. And it was so funny. So then at the very end, the boys get another pep talk from their head coach. And they're like, you know what? We are going to go out there and I'm going to get that $20 for my mom. And the other one's like, I am too. We're going to go do it. And then it was just such a such a great triumphant ending it was a perfect sketch there was another one that was a water slide sketch i

mean i think these are worth going through and watching again if you have time lonely island is back right um which is so exciting they did a great um song called sushi glory hole which like the premise at first i was like okay i i don't know if i'm into this it's kind of grossing me out but then the whole the whole song becomes a it becomes funny because it's such a ridiculous idea and they won't let it go and they kept saying hear me out hear me out and um it just becomes about these guys who are insensate about uh you know making a sushi glory hole happen and uh it's just it's just great the cold opens are great great with, you know, all the impersonations of the political stuff. Like, I am just like, it's fun being a fan of that show again in such a real way. And I look forward to it every week now.

And oh, my God. Shout out to Heidi Gardner. Everyone needs to watch Heidi Gardner do a sketch called like oh what was it called she so she's I won't give it away too much there's there's nothing to give away her performance is ungiveawayable because it's indescribable it's the level of commitment that you have only seen on Conan's hot ones in terms of like someone doing something so insane just to make the most laughs and she is just i think she is a national treasure of comedy i love her so much it is she's at a they're at a very serious dinner where they're like talking about someone in their family

like needs an intervention oh it was like someone in their family has dementia and they're ready to like maybe put them in a home so it's a really serious topic and she orders the mile high burger and they bring it over and they're like and you have one hour to consume the or you have 10 minutes to consume this burger and if you do you get a free meal or whatever like some kind of surprise prize or all expenses paid trip and so she's listening to the serious conversation and she just at first she's like i don't want to do that this i just ordered a burger it just sounded good i thought it would have like an egg on it like mile high Denver and then she starts eating this burger and it is so funny like no one would have gone as far as she did I can only assume she can only assume that

she consumed 5,000 calories during this sketch like it was she went fucking buck wild i respect it so much it really was inspiring to me to like go hard for the joke and if you commit people will come around there was nothing to come around to it was already a fantastic premise but it was it's really worth a watch heidi gardner uh i just i love so much and and every week i'm like wowed by her I just really love this cast I'm loving the show SNL's back it always has it's always been great it's like it just

feels really relevant and it feels fresh and I'm just like I just I like looking forward to watching something and you know with all the things happening in dumps and streaming and something live I mean the live element is exciting. Yeah, totally. There was this YouTuber who said, like, wanted to question that premise that SNL is bad now and that it was better back in, like, the 70s or whatever, or whatever the hype.

And so he went back and he watched all the episodes. And he's like, the reason why people think SNL used to be better is because they are in their head. They are thinking of SNL best of compilations. Every year, SNL comes out with a best of compilation. And that's what. And then even if you saw the SNL replays on VH1, they cut. They were pulling best ofs. Yeah. Yeah. They would cut out like the bottom

four it would just be like four of the best sketches i love when someone debunks this shit because i'm so tired of that so used to be good right talking about when you were 12 and you like there was less things on tv and you had a smaller brain like it's always been a struggle of a show to like and it's always had amazing moments it's it's it's always had amazing moments and there was you know there was that famous like when lauren left that cast that was just like irredeemable but like besides that they were they always had great sketches um they always they were always a cultural touchstone and they always had terrible sketches you just don't remember them because they're buried and they're gone.

They're only out that one night. Sure. I just, I'm, I'm really excited about being excited about the lore of it. Now I'm like, I want to read all the books and stuff. Like I'm super into it.

I'm getting a little autistic on this shit. Like I'm getting this, I need a new like obsession and it's, it's cranking in. We'll be back with more of my obsession. When we get back after this. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Join by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We did a show last week that you might have seen on Netflix. My parents, me, Lizzie Cooperman, live, speaking of

Tuesday day live, the Tyler Henry show on Netflix. It was called Live from the Other Side, hosted by Amanda Klutz. Tyler Henry does a reading, and my parents were both there, and Andrew Collin and Lizzie Cooperman were my two friends I brought. Andrew is so funny.

He posted about this. He said one word the whole time. And then Tyler Henry asked, he said, I'll give you a private reading because I feel so bad that I didn't talk to you at all. Yep. reading because i feel so bad that i didn't talk to you at all yep and i knew from that time i knew that um he was backed up on these private readings because i went to see tyler henry live and i was like he gave away seven private readings for free i'm like that's seven hours of his time on zoom like if he does this every show there must be a long line and i i feel bad for the the guy what

a sweetie to give these away but i was like like, Andrew, don't expect that anytime soon. And Andrew told me it was like 18 months booked out. Right. They said he posted about that too. What did he say? 18 months to 18 months away. Yeah. And did you,

did he say the joke? No. What's the joke? I guess I, he said that like, um, you can talk to your alive mother when she's dead. Now,

later, something like, right. By the time I get the reading, I'll be the one you're talking to your alive mother when she's dead now, later. So they like, like, right. By the time I get the reading, I'll be the one you're talking to. Honestly. Yes.

So, um, we went in during the day last Tuesday. We had to be top secret about it because Tyler did not know we were coming in and there, we didn't want, no one wants anyone to know anything. So that's why I posted about it while we were live on the show, because I asked the producers, like, do you want me to post about this?

And they're like, you can't. And I go, what if it's once the show starts? And they're like, I guess actually that'd be kind of fun. So I did that. And it was so fun to do the show with my family. So you guys brought like family heirlooms. He didn't know what you were bringing until you were right there on the couch. No, he didn't know it was me.

He didn't know anything. Anything. And so we walk out, first time seeing him. And yes, we were told to bring things, not photos, but things. And I really didn't have any things of any of the dead people I wanted to talk to, unfortunately.

But my dad had a drawing that my dead cousin had made, so he gave me that for my thing. My mom had a bracelet from my Aunt Lynn. My mom also had some hair from my mom, but she forgot to bring it, as you do with locks of hair

from your dead mother. She left it at home, which the ironic thing is my mom had someone else's hair in her hair my mom okay i was gonna ask because julie had a glow up on that like she looked like a real housewife yeah unrecognizable she said that her mom shouldn't come back because she wouldn't recognize her it's so funny she you know i got her full hair and makeup from my friend leah and so she she my mom never wears her hair down ever ever ever no one's ever seen her with it i haven't even even she's insecure because it's such fine hair and she told

a story that when she was little like her teacher told her she had fine hair and she went home to brag to her brothers like i mrs sutkey told me i had the finest hair and they're like you idiot it means your hair's thin and shitty everyone's so mean to my mom my poor fucking mom well that's part of woman that's right so i mean i was watching this at home live as, as a skeptic, hoping that Tyler Henry would convince me. And he started off so strong. Oh, my God. Out of the fucking gate. Out of the gate. I mean, him and his...

Is that his wife? Who is that? No, that was... No, he's very gay. Oh, okay. Is that his beard? No, that is Amanda Klutz. She is a host on CBS's The Talk

And she's also a Broadway star Wait no no it was his mom His mom was there Oh his mom yes His mom was also sat on the side Teresa love her Out of the gate he's like What's that restaurant we went to

And then the mom's like it was Lynn's And then like do you have a Lynn And then you guys have a dead Aunt Lynn Aunt Lynn was our number one that we went to and then the mom's like it was Lynn's and then like you have a Lynn and then you guys have a dead aunt Lynn aunt Lynn was our number one that we wanted to come that is insane it was jaw dropping my jaw did open

and then it just got ADD like there were just so many different details proceeded to just unravel in my mind. It's a live show. He's tried his best. There was a lot of stuff coming through.

I thought for me, him describing a guy being pushed and then being catapulted into like a wall or something was so visually representative of me pushing my dead cousin in a car and called when we called him crash hiller which was like his evil kenevil kind of persona that he put was a huge part of our childhood i thought that was very much jd coming through i believed it maybe i was inventing that maybe everyone in the world can think of some dead person that they've pushed that fell out of a window. There's some story or something, but that,

that there's too many to choose from. Here's, here's my bottom. Like, cause everyone's like, is it real or not? I have no, I'm never going to get a reading from him again.

I could burn this bridge and say that it's not real. If I didn't think it was, I'm 50, 50. Here's what I do know. I don't think that Tyler, if it's not real if i didn't think it was i'm 50 50 here's what i do know i don't think that tyler if it's not real i don't think tyler knows it's not real i think he is acting on instinct and uh it believes that i mean it could be hearing voices in his head i whatever i don't think it's that but i do it's either real or tyler doesn't know it's not real and here's the

other thing even if dear tyler henry is fooling us all and is a complete charlatan i looked at it and i go what harm is this causing i'm trying to find anything bad that is because of if this were all based on lies all he does is give people closure, makes people feel like they have that there's something after this life, which is so soothing. That's amazing. I love that. And he tells people that they might have cancer. He gets people to go to cancer screenings. He's only putting good things out there. And I really racked my brain for any reason, if he was completely lying and I found out he was a fraud, why I'd really have a problem with it. And I don't.

I think he's only doing good. He's making it's it's I would say that there's not a lot of difference between this and organized religion, except that he's not bilking people for thousands of dollars and shaming them about having premarital sex and and being born with sin so i would say that it's he's doing all the things that religion does aside from building a sense of community which is also a good thing about religion but it's none of the bullshit of it um he's giving people hope he's giving people um closure and ultimately he's presenting it now gonna get checked for uterine cancer because he told her he she probably has it well that's i mean that's questionable my sister's watching

netflix and like watching her family live on air and tyler henry says does your sister struggle with any like you know below the belt feminine cancers and we were like no and he's like she should just watch out for that and we we're like, oh, my God. That to me will be the deciding factor. If she goes to the doctor and they go, you got some polyps, then I will be more of a believer. I won't. Not because I think I just think that cancer is very regular. It's very common.

Right. And. Well, that's where you should have started started if he's really a charlatan he should have started off more vague what's impressive about him and i think why he's so successful is because he really takes wild stabs at specifics but i also like that he was like okay you know like when you said oh oh i think it's my cousin blah blah blah he's like no let's not put this into a box let's not make something uh let's not make, I think it's my cousin, blah, blah, blah. He's like, no, let's not put this into a box. Let's not make it something when it's not.

Don't put a circle in a square. Not try to make it fit. That could be all part of his grift, though. That's why he is a successful version of this, because he has these two tricks. One of them is taking very specific shots. And the other one is when it seems like you're giving him a bone he rejects it and that's just so mind-boggling for someone who's trying to trick you absolutely it could be part of the whole thing because a lot of times yeah people who are tricking will do the opposite of

what you think because you go no if they were tricking me they wouldn't have done that and that's what i kept saying afterwards was like if he was able to google things about me and find a bunch of stuff it would have been a better reading right now the reading was black substance yeah it did because maybe that's just what we got you know um final thought because i sensed the reading was lacking substance i i substance it up a little bit because I was very acutely aware during the show that this was a show and people needed to be entertained. So I did offer stories and jokes along the way to spice it up. About 23 minutes.

Then Nikki turned it on. That's what happened. It was like, you're waiting there. You're waiting for some revelations after lynn and then i could see in your eyes you like perked up and you're just like all right gonna be a comedy thing now yeah i i dropped a couple lines that yeah i was just like i gotta save this because i don't want people to start turning tuning out being like nothing's gonna happen i

wanted to like get some uh stuff going because and and I'm I'm constantly I was never trying to. My dad was like, man, the whole time I'm just trying so hard to make him right. And I wasn't trying to do that. I was trying so hard to be entertaining for people at home. Like that was because it was a TV show. I was trying to have real moments and keep it real and i obviously did that and um and told some stories that i regretted telling and was kind of like oh god why did i do that but it was on my mind that this is a tv show and people are watching

and i can't just if it would have been a private reading for my family i would have just been sitting there like no that's not really it you know and i was i was trying to find funny moments but i do but like people keep texting me like do you believe it and i really am 50 50 and i think that's the best i can ever could ever give and it's it's how i want to feel like i i don't want to think that there was some way that he found out i was on the show and went through my instagram and saw my post about my aunt lynn i don't want to think that that's what happens. Could it have happened? A hundred percent? Yes.

Right. But is it really easy to find that you have a dead Aunt Lynn anyway? Like my dad said it took him five minutes of scrolling on my Instagram. Okay. So it says on your Instagram that you have a deceased aunt named Lynn. Yes. Okay. Well, I going into this, I was 10% believe 90% disbelief.

And I think leaving it I'm Now 7% Oh shit yeah I think I dropped 3% I I just I'm still I'm 50 I like I And I will say the other 50 I do not think Tyler Henry is a fraud or like Scheming people I just think that whatever

He's getting You know I think that you know you know that documentary where the woman learned to like was helping the non-verbal man talk by holding his hand yeah and it was all she was lying and she was actually doing what she wanted to do but she thought it was what he wanted to do right she really did think that he was spelling those things out right subconsciously she was actually saying what she wanted. They did test and they determined that people who are helping these nonverbal people, they'll show the nonverbal person a picture of an apple.

They'll show the person who's helping them with their hand a picture of a clock. And then they'll say, now, what did you just see? They'll ask the nonverbal person and the person will spell clock thinking that their nonverbal person saw a clock. Now clock thinking that their nonverbal person saw clock now they're not doing that because they're they think they're doing it they literally think that that's they they i think people sometimes do things that are insincere they don't know they're doing it right i don't think it's a conscious thing it's also it goes back to what joe zimmerman was saying it's like let's just play as adults and see this as a like a play

that's fun that's really good and it goes back to what i say where with kids i don't want to play and i can't and i maybe i need to get into that more of being like this is a mean guy and he's gonna get your fork and i'm a mr spoon and we're gonna fight like more of that in my life right i'm not getting tyler henry as like a conscious grifter either i'm getting him as like he believes what he's doing is happening for whatever reason he might have some connection to the other side or he might really have like some sort of weird pathology that causes him to hear voices in his head either way i think he is earnest in his appraisal and he believes he's

talking to ghosts but is he actually i'm not convinced he's entertaining so and that's what it is ultimately it's entertainment i've never wanted my sister to have uterine cancer more but it just shows you when you're doing the when you're doing the private readings like it just shows you how much of a handicap it is to have an audience of 500 people and to just throw stuff out there that's very specific because someone in the audience is going to have something connected. When he did it in front of just four people,

it's so much more difficult and it showed. It definitely showed. But it was really fun. He should have been like, he should have said like, does anyone here have like a relative who's like an animal or something like that who passed away? And when everyone said no, like a lighting guy should have been like, wait a second. I've got a relative who died of an elephant. They told us that might happen. They were like, we don't know what could come through that's what i will say that my mom accidentally sent me a text that she meant for someone else that said i didn't even want to

look like that nikki forced it because she hired this girl and i couldn't say what i really wanted and then my mom goes uh-oh and i just laughed and laughed but it was so funny because my mom was like take down my eyes I can't this is too much I need I don't like my eyebrows she was very vocal about what she didn't want but we did force her because we thought she looked good to have hair and I think she did feel pretty and I

and she cut my extensions that I paid hundreds of dollars for I was like I'll give them to you mom she was like really so she's got my extensions now and now she's sending texts to her friends being like Nikki made me so I'm calling you out mom but we also forgot we everyone forgot that she was called pig lady pig woman tyler henry was yelling at the straws trying to find someone who was related to an animal what the fuck it wasn't the weasel it was the pig yeah wait a second okay so if you didn't watch the show tyler henry kept saying

that our family had we called someone by a name like you would call your grandpa we called him bear or we called him right uh possum you know like someone and we were just like sitting there just like trying to figure out anyone and my mom was pig woman i don't think that's it i think tyler henry would have been like nope and then we would my mom would have just been sad that we said that but it would have been hilarious to have said that like there was a part of me that wanted to have my phone so people watching live could text me because when you're out there you like don't know you're trying to remember every detail of your like childhood with these people that you haven't been around with

since they died in 95 and it's vague and it's like it was it was really hard but when I remembered when I remembered the goose thing I was so excited because that was a big part of our childhood was when my aunt got goosed and we thought it was the funniest word ever even though

she was sexually assaulted in an ace hardware like a man grabbed her vagina that's what goosing is well she came home from going to the hardware store and she came home she was like you won't believe it i was goosed and she was hysteric about it because she got fucking goosed wait but it was the funniest thing we've ever heard like like a way a goose goes like honk like a guy like gooster is that real or is she just saying that i don't know it's the last time and first time i've heard that phrase but it made so much sense but we giggled so hard about it it became like a running joke with us kids which is so cruel looking back we didn't understand the gravity of it right um but i was so excited that that might be the

connection and then tyler's like no it wasn't i was like oh i just threw my aunt's sexual assault out on live tv for no reason i was like oh you idiot um but whatever we should have playful animal names for all sorts of crimes yeah but it does work perfectly because a goose would just go honk now describe on the doll where the man pelicaned you well i also thought it might have been because we were talking about my aunt jd or my uncle sorry cousin jd at the time who died at the age of 32 and he's my best friend growing up and it was very tragic death which she he nailed his death he was like it was organ failure oh yeah that was pretty interesting he was really he was looking for his mother and as he was dying we all heard that he was on a stretcher going mom where's my mom like really like so sad i can't

even handle it but um jd like i didn't even want to say it on the show but one time we were on a speedboat and there was this like girl that was a friend of my family's that like we just didn't even want to say it on the show but one time we were on a speedboat and there was this like girl that was a friend of my family's that like we just didn't really know and she was like a girl that was like our age and i was just trying to make my cousin laugh so i just like grabbed this girl's butt and i go honky like i just like boost this girl on the butt right and i want to just say if i could find that girl i would apologize i would a million times it was so inappropriate i knew it right away because everyone was like why did you do that and i was just trying to make my cousin laugh i think we had been doing it to each other all weekend or something and i was almost going to tell that story and i'm almost reluctant to tell it now because like people are so quick to be like that sexual assault. Nikki sexually assaulted someone when she was six years old.

And it's like you can be canceled for things you did when you were six, I think. But I really didn't know. And I thought maybe JD was bringing that up live on air because it was a formative moment for me. Do you guys have any moments like that where you like impulsively did something and you're like, why did I do that? That was so weird and gross and inappropriate. Like, does anything like that? When I was,

when I was two years old, I went in blackface to a prom or whatever. You got to go to prom when you're two. Yeah. That's why I messed up because I said, that's crazy. Yeah. I mean,

like, what did I do? That was, um, like you just said something inappropriate. There's like, there's like thousands of times I did that. Thousands.

Yeah. But that one really stands out to me because I just remember being like, oh, and it was like kind of sexual and it didn't mean to be like, I didn't even see butts as sexual, but the adults around me reacted to it in a way that like, you're a pervert. And I felt so horrible.

So if that girl's out there and if anyone knows that that girl like has told a story where I went and I literally said honky when I did it like I said a funny voice and um I'm really really sorry and I hope you haven't carried that with you I will make it up to you you can have free tickets to my shows for the rest of your life it's kind of like I can give you like a free t-shirt if you like we have a couple extra larges left um i'm just kidding i i honestly i would uh i would love to apologize to you in person if you're out there i don't even remember your name or who you are but um and also to the girl that my sister ran into at the park who said that i shoved shit in her face do you remember that story no yeah my sister told it but like she this girl was like i remember your sister

at your birthday party she shoved shit in my face right like my sister goes actual shit and she was like no it was like icing or something and i'm like oh oh fuck i was such an asshole but i didn't know it i didn't i didn't know what i was doing please forgive me oh yeah i know my ways oh god i can't even talk about it's so embarrassing but i did some stuff in like high school even that i look back on and i'm like oh no no i do that i'm sorry for any time i did anything inappropriate to anyone it was i don't want to say it was a different time because that'll get you canceled too but right kind of was i think but also i'm not that person anymore i've changed i don't want to be

that person no um we gotta go thank I don't want to be that person. No. We got to go. Thank you for listening to the show. We'll have more shows for you next week. Don't even think they will. A lot of tour dates coming up. I have Syracuse this Friday.

And then I have Hershey, Pennsylvania on Saturday. And a second show on Sunday. And those tickets are probably close to being sold out. Probably some individuals available. I'd love to see you there. And then in two weeks, I'm going to be doing a Florida tour, hopefully, if everyone's okay there in Fort Lauderdale and Fort Myers. So get those tickets now and tons of new tour dates announced right now on NikkiGlazer.com. Go check those out. I love when besties come to shows. I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I'm so grateful for you. Don't be cut. Bye. The Nikki Glaser podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and I Heart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser. Co-hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Noah Avior. Edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production, Mark Canton. And music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser pod and subscribe to our channel. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors.

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