The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #492 Nikki's Writers' Room, WICKED Review & Screaming For This Shout Out!

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

Hey Besties, we’re only dropping one episode this week, but we’ll be back with two next week. Have an amazing Thanksgiving—we’re so thankful to have you as part of the Bestie fam! Nikki’s hanging with Brian in her home studio, and they’re chatting about their upcoming shoot for Prime’s Thursday Night Football and Nikki’s writers' room which is filled with all the right enneagrams. While discussing art and creativity, Nikki shares that she can’t relate to some artists' need for expression—or lack thereof. Then, they dive into one of Nikki’s fave quizzes, the NY Times Regional Dialect Test, and answer it. They end up with a way better result than the Akinator (side note: the answer to that quiz was Cara Delevingne, who interviewed Nikki for Interview—cool, right?). In the Final Thought, Brian gives an honest review of Wicked, AND everyone is screaming over the latest shout out Nikki got.  Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

I am here in studio in st louis in person with brian franchi oh yes this is the uh second or third time i'm here in this studio it feels weird for those of you watching at home on youtube the the space does not feel anything like what it looks like on screen really it's just what does that mean i mean behind the cameras is a mess i mean it's like a hoarder's apartment like there's just so much shit like anything we need to move out of the way when we have company over we just throw in here you know it's like a junk drawer of a room right yeah like this side is like uh michael's crafts and that side is like hurricane helen i uh no but it feels it's it's simultaneously bigger and

smaller than you would think it would be oh like you feel like it's when when i'm watching you on the screen which i do twice a week yeah i'm always like it feels like you're in like a gigantic room in my mind whoa yeah and then you get in here and you're like well this is actually not it's kind of like anything you see like if you go to mount. And then you get in here and you're like, well, this is actually not a, it's kind of like anything you see. Like if you go to Mount Rushmore

and you look at it and it's like, everything's smaller. Oh, that's tiny. Everything's smaller. Like, you know, whenever you do

a late night show, whenever you go to a studio taping of something, everything's always smaller. And then sometimes people are bigger than you think they would be.

Sometimes. Like Noah. Taller. Taller. Oh, yeah think they would be. Sometimes. Like Noah. Taller. Taller. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah. When I saw you for the first time two weeks ago, I was like, wow, she's much taller than

I thought. Right. People tell me I, sometimes they say I'm taller. Sometimes they say I'm shorter. Sometimes they say I'm prettier. Well, that's nice. Is it? I'm saying it facetiously yeah okay you're much prettier in

person that's not nice that's not mean it's weird i you know i guess i take it as a compliment because it means like on on tv obviously i'm done up and really pretty so when they're seeing me in person i'm generally not i'm like doing either doing it myself or i'm not and so that always it i always do feel flattered by it but i am a little bit like huh doesn't have that like a built-in surprise to it if that that type of compliment is like i thought you would be uglier that's what it implies oh that's a good point now that i'm seeing you i'm surprised that you're prettier and pretty in person i thought you'd be disgusting yeah i don't think they're thinking disgusting i think people

when they meet nikki in person like you have that like je ne sais quoi there's like something about you that's like that like radiates so when people see you you're like captivating in person that i've never heard that in my life hell yes yes well because i am i am honestly i got the darkest spray tan i ever got in my life last night because it was a teenager working at the place and she kind of didn't know what she was doing it was just going on too light and i was like i can't be here all night so i was just you know like i feel bad for teenagers sometimes because i was reading this study about when people feel um what is it when they let it's called languishing i didn't read a study i listened to a podcast about languish it's not depression

but it's just like feeling like you don't have any that was very popular during covid yes we're languishing yes so i listened to this um um hidden brain podcast about it with shankar v denton and i i love his name and so har Harvey Dent is a villain from Batman. Shankar V. Denton, I think is how that's quite a name. It's amazing. So he was talking to this expert about languishing and the guy was describing depression. It just sounded like depression, but he said that it really affects people in their 20s and then in their elderly age because when you're young, no one really trusts you. Everyone's kind of rolling their eyes at you

you feel like you have so long to go before you can actually be taken seriously and i kind of felt that last night i was kind of judging this girl for being so young she had like her homework out like she was definitely like a high school student right right with like a high school sweatshirt on and so i didn't i just as soon as we got in there i well first of all she just kind of put me in there and didn't tell me the things that i know she does i've never been there before so first of all she did not give me it's 35 for your first time i saw on the sign later i paid 50 oh she didn't give me the first time even though she said is this your first time here and entered all my information yeah and then she didn't put the lotion on my fingers she didn't tell me to put

like she she just assumed she didn't assume I knew because she didn't know I knew. Right. But I knew. So I got in there and I did everything. Put the hairnet on, put the lotion on my fingers, everything. And then she gets in there and she's and I'm like this poor 17 year old girl who has to like look at my naked elderly body. Like not that it's like a bad body, but it's like she shouldn't have to see naked people yet at her age like that's like something that you do when you learn a trade you become a nurse you kind

of become immune to seeing nakedness you need to be like a 50 something year old immigrant yeah sure you could be but i think you, I don't think teenagers should be looking at old naked women. teenagers should be scooping ice cream. Yeah. For the summer. Yes. And, and putting it on,

slapping it on that thing and saying, what do you want in it? And then ringing the bell and they sing for you. That's right. Yes. They should be lazily

putting together sandwiches. They should be high. Yes. And they were like, I hope I get to eat some Rocky Road in the back while I look at pictures

of the guy I'm crushing on. They should be barely taking your order as they look at pictures of the guy i'm crushing on they should be barely taking your order as they look at their phone yeah and and instead she was doing homework and then she wow came like i saw things at like i i don't mind it when i see it because it's kind of adorable and i'm like oh my god i can't believe she's just not on her phone whenever teenagers aren't on the phone i'm blown away when they're like talking to each other and laughing and giggling like like kind of 90s style i'm just like i can't believe it because i don't even do that shit anymore no god it's sad they never knew to do it so where

did they pick that up so anyway maybe they're just sick of it maybe because they're it's not novelty to them they grew up with this maybe they're there's a part of them that's like you know what it feels good and is cool to not have my phone that would be really great but that's a little optimistic it is but it does happen sometimes you see teens like present and not on their phones and like talking to each other so she came in and i was immediately like can you go darker i'm sorry i need a darker like i was just like telling her what to do and she was all for it she was like i want to get out of here too much And so she doused me as I wanted to be doused. And then I got home and it was so dark.

I'm the color of my dog. I mean, it's insane. And I got this new tan remover, though, that removes it. So I slabbed that on today and got some of it off. But I am darker than I've ever, ever been. What did you get the spray tan for oh we're we're taping a thing today brian's in town to shoot a that you know i do the thursday night football thing this week it's going to be on friday and because it's a really packed game

they didn't they wanted us to maybe do a pre-tape thing that they can just roll into the show instead of producing while we're there and it saves us going to kansas city on friday right after thanksgiving like we would have had to fly in on thanksgiving it would have been just i feel bad for all of them that have to give up their thanksgiving yeah thousands of dollars they're making um is it less pressure like it's like more pressure it It is way less fun. This sucks. It really sucks. It sucks.

Pre-tape bits. Pre-tape because it's like- Well, it's because we're coming up with a new bit. We have a new bit. Like before we were roasting the game and it usually airs after the game, after even like most of the after show. So it's usually coming on at like 11, 1130 at night. So you can be a little bit more you know out there a little more toasty a little as they say in the biz yeah you can be a little do you know how they say that

i have never heard that this is a day game right black friday families are going to be at home families will gather around the television set waiting for nikki's bit to pop up and so we're doing she goes up there and says my vagina then they're gonna there's gonna be letters written into amazon who say it's not gonna be good i don't watch amazon to hear some woman call aaron rogers a cunt yeah you can't do that on in the daytime okay the dog is chewing on a cord and i don't really know what to do with it because it's so cute you ever seen dogs doing something dangerous but it's so cute you let it happen?

You're like a Best Buy employee. You deserve, you want to get out. Hold on, let me just let her out. Go get a real toy. Goldie's real cute. Go get a toy. Did you spend a lot of time with her this weekend? Were you with Nikki the whole weekend, Brian? No. Brian just got in yesterday.

So Sean and I were in it was really good. Alabama. Alabama and Memphis. Yeah. No, Brian just got in yesterday. So Sean and I were in Alabama and Memphis. Birmingham and Memphis, two of the best shows of my life, I think. Honestly, I'm not even joking. This Salator is working out. It's really coming together. As it's ending, it's coming together.

These shows have been so fun. So yeah, Sean and I flew into St. Louis yesterday. Sean is here, Brian's here and then Bob, our friend who's a writer on These shows have been so fun. So, yeah, Sean and I flew into St. Louis yesterday. Sean is here. Brian's here. And then Bob, our friend who's a writer on the TNF things, Thursday Night Football, TNF. What's his last name? Castrone. I met Bob Castrone.

All these people I know for so long. Brian, I met in 2010. Around then. Nine or ten. Yeah, nine. Sean, I met on myspace in 2005 or six and then bob castrone i met in 2004 fall he was a blogger for high school i not for me college college i was in yeah my i would say my um junior year of college uh fall so yeah that would have been fall 2004 i met bob um he was a blogger living in new york city and he blogged for best week ever for vh1 and they had a blog and he would blog for them and i loved best week ever it was

like my favorite show and then i would read the blog and the blog was really funny and then he had his own personal blog called my blog is poop.blogspot.com perfect and my blog is who was so funny he would just write these really amazing essays just about like being in your 20s in new york and just like the culture and um to be back there man he wrote a whole essay about the onus where it's like, it was before like the whole thing of like, you can't text them back. They haven't texted you. Like in a relationship,

there's always someone with the onus and he wrote this whole thing that was really like, it got a lot of traction back then. It was kind of viral about like relationships when they're starting out

and even when they, you know, throughout a relationship, someone's always got the onus. Someone's in charge. Yes. That's like the hand in Seinfeld. Oh, oh yeah, you got to have the hand. always got the onus someone's in charge yes the ball's that's like the hand in seinfeld oh oh yeah you gotta have the hand you gotta have the hand yes so he this is more that was more about relationships bob's thing is more about

friendships it sounds no it sounds like it was it was relationship yeah yeah so he just ripped off seinfeld anyway well no the hand is just to back just to defend, hand is when you have the upper hand and you're holding something over somebody. And so you have the power. And onus means, it sounds like, you owe somebody something. You're responsible for delivering something to them. The burden is on you. Yeah. Onus is a burden.

Hand is power. I can't find any evidence of my blog is poop on on, I mean, literally, My Blog is Poop by Castrone. Yeah. I was so obsessed with it. The internet does disappear things. Disappear things. Yeah.

Well, isn't there like a website? You can use the Wayback Machine. Oh, I was looking in news. Okay. Oh, here. I found it, I think. My Blog is Poop? No, it says, is it Gothamist?

No, it's gone yeah it's really gone it can be gone it's crazy because he wrote so much I mean he could have made a book for Urban Outfitters

off of all the blog posts that he made you know what I mean and so I was a huge fan and on his blog he had his screen name

for AIM oh so I threw him on my buddy list just to be like, I wonder if this guy whose blog I follow, who I'm like a fan of. Your buddy list. Oh my God.

And so one day I was in college. I got back to my room. You're sitting in your room. You hear that door open sound effect. It was late at night. I was like drunk and I heard. And he was the only one on and I was just drunk enough to be like,

I should, let me just tell him I'm a fan. Like who, what's the worst that could happen? Yeah. Because I think it was right after my friend had found uh Andy Blitz who wrote for Conan yeah we were obsessed with yeah she found him in the New York like online in the white pages in New York City and so we just called Andy Blitz and we're like we love you you're a writer on Conan and so I was like yeah this is and he seemed to like it so we were like okay people like when you reach out of course especially back then this is not the days where you can just slide into someone's dms and ask them no no this was like you had to but it

was also very easy to find people in a different kind of way the fact that these the same boomers now who are all about like privacy and not giving my email to chase bank insane they had a full published book printed out with their name phone number and address and it was in every phone book in the world it's it's nuts it's nuts um so i wrote to bob and was like hey and then we became friends on aim and then i was planning a trip to new york city to go see opie and anthony show which i was a fan of and i I knew Jim Florentine. Jim Florentine was going to hook me up with like going to the Opie and Anthony studios because I knew Jim from doing stand up. And man, were you wearing Genco jeans and a choke collar?

This is 2004. Did you have frosted tips? I forget like what I was definitely wearing... How was your Tamagotchi pet doing? It was long gone at this point. But we were... Yeah, we were like a decade... We were less than a decade out of Tamagotchis.

2004 was so long ago. This is more of a gigapet era. We were also going to see Demetri Martin in New York. We were going to see his one-man show. It was so early 2000s comedy. Early 2000s comedy was popping the fuck off you think it's big now it was like the coolest thing ever especially as someone who was in comedy it was more for it was more for comedy too nowadays you're

like popular if you're a politics comedian and back then it's like you're popular just for being a weird comedian it was all yeah like the underground, not the underground scene, but the alternative scene. Yeah. So went to New York, hung out with Bob, became instant friends. I was in like a sketch. He used to do a thing called the post show. It was like early, before YouTube, they had like a sketch video show that you could watch online every week. They would post like two sketches.

And they did it for years. And I was in a bunch of them. But that was my debut on the internet acting was in the post show and i think it was june 2005 went out there and then um and then bob and i became friends and then he moved to la in 2007 when i was already out there and then we hung out there and then he ended up writing um it was head writer on not safe yeah that's where i met Yeah, and so we've been friends for the whole time. He's an amazing person and now he's writing on this. And yeah, so they're all out here.

We're shooting a thing today, like Christmas themed. And there's a house in St. Louis we're renting that is just decorated for Christmas year round that people just shoot at. Oh, cool. I think that's what it is. So convenient. It's like a set that you go to.

Yeah, there's a lot of places like that. I discovered this. This is like a thing that there's people who just like own properties and then they rent it out to people to do shoots. I mean, obviously it's very popular in LA to do that. Yeah. And so, and they're usually like, they look a certain way and you'd be surprised how frequently people need things like that, especially in LA.

I couldn't believe there was one in St. Louis. There's multiple ones in St. Louis that Chris sent us. So Chris is producing it here on the ground, and then we are shooting it today, and it's definitely harder than the roast, because usually we just are roasting the game, and this is why I like

this job, is because there's no preparation. You just have to do it, and it is whatever it is, and if it's not good, it's our fault. And usually I can just blame. It's do it, and it is whatever it is. And this is like, if it's not good, it's our fault. And usually I can just blame. It's like the timing. And this game wasn't very exciting, and there wasn't a lot to do with this. And this one's just like, we've had all the time to come up with the concept.

We've had all the time to write the jokes. To be fair, we didn't have all the time. It still was like five days. Yes, it's still a small amount of time. But I also think that there's a lot of parameters here. And I think the bar should be a little bit lower. Oh, it's lower. It's lower. We're doing a limbo.

Yeah, we're going under the bar. And I just would like to sit into Brian's compliment corner for a second. We're talking about Bob and everybody. Everyone that's working on this is so funny. So funny. And such good, responsible workers. And, oh my God, I was like, I'm, I told you guys last night, I was like, I'm like, just like blown away at how hard you guys work.

Yeah. I just like, I have the best team. I love my whole team. Yay. That's a quote from, I think you should leave guy. But I really am like, I'm obsessed with how you guys are just such hard workers and like because there is a time like last night when I was staring at my computer screen I was like I can't think of any jokes

I don't want to do this anymore I give up I don't even care if it's trash I literally give up I don't care I want to go to bed I hate this and like no one else had that vibe and even though everyone was just as tired as I was if not more and it's just just good hard workers and it's just good hard workers.

And it's so nice to have. And everyone's so positive and there's no bad vibes. Like ever. No, no. And that's really rare to have no bad vibes. Yeah. Or no like ego kind of things going on. It's just, it's. Any ego we may have had was taken out of us

over the last 15 years. Of working in this business. That's what we get. Yeah, that's what happens. You get to a certain point where you're just like, ego just has been so squashed. Yeah, well, I did an Enneagram test on Sean this weekend because I was like, I bet he's a three.

Oh, God. Okay. I thought he was a three. Yeah, okay. What do you think it is? Well, yeah, I'm very curious. We got to go to break and I'll tell you what he's gonna be Cause I know the listeners

are dying to know Yeah, this guy, he's been on the show Yeah, Sean O'Connor I have a feeling I have a feeling he might He's either a 6 or a 9 Okay, we'll find out when we get back Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means Okay, we'll find out when we get back. on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.

The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Sean is a three. I was right. At first, he answered the questions

and he was a one, and then we were reading it. We were all like, no, you're not, dude. You know who's a one? Chris. Me. You're a one? Yeah. Oh, you are? Chris is not a one. Chris is a one. You are wrong. No, he did an extensive test. I don't think so. Why? I think Chris is a seven.

Helper? Seven is... Dude, he fits ones like insanely, like more than I think you do. Perfectionist, loves to be... What are all the things about ones? The problem with assessing people by their personality traits is that that that's not that's the misnomer about the enneagram okay is that

you're just looking at their traits ethical strong sense of right and wrong chris is very black and white like things are good or bad there's a there's several uh well organized orderly and detail oriented always striving to improve things but fears making mistakes i mean that is so chris how many times are we in calls with chris where we are like done with the call and he goes hey i just wanted to like check is everyone cool with this like there's do we want to give it 10 more minutes of thought to maybe even come up with anything more which is what i love about him because i was told in therapy that ones and threes are the most successful couples ever because threes are just like, let's just move ahead.

Let's do this. They're really confident. They are totally wanting to gain approval from everyone so they'll work hard and they are go-getters. But ones are like, we need to perfect it.

You need to practice. Let's go over it. And together, they become power couples. So you can't take this from me. Okay, I won't take it from you. At least not on the pod. I will get into an in-depth, detailed discussion about it at dinner i gotta get yeah why he's a seven and not

a one but sean is a three sure okay he does it for the applause like lady gaga the applause the applause and so he but i was like sean um when we would so when we do these, whenever I have a writing team, we usually just have a Google Doc and everyone just writes in it. No one doesn't write their initials next to things. They don't write it in a different color font. That's the greatest part about this system. It's just there's no, no one knows who's writing what. Like, unless you are active in the doc and you see someone writing the joke and it says their little name next to it. Yeah.

If you just look into the doc, there's no evidence of who wrote what, right? So when I choose jokes, I don't know who did what. It's a beautiful system. I'm not going, wow, Sean only got this many, Brian got this, like, I'm not, I don't care. Everyone gets paid what they get paid, and then And then some people are having an off week

and they don't write very many things and it's just like, hey, I know that everyone here is contributing. Yeah, and I know that everyone gives as much as they can when they can. Like I've had off weeks before too. So I've never even faulted. I would never even look into it

if I suspected someone wasn't contributing enough. I wouldn't be like, did they not work hard enough? I'm not going to pay them as much this week or something like that. It's just like, I just know everyone can give what they can when everyone does their best.

But I said to Sean, as a a three that would really irritate me yeah if i knew nikki was choosing my jokes but she didn't know she was choosing my jokes she didn't know that out of the you know 30 jokes she did 10 of them were mine which is a it would be an insane you know uh percentage and he said that he um he used to count jokes and like talk about it when he would uh he was a writer on cordon james cordon and when he first got there he would like pay attention to like he would count how many jokes he got in the monologue and he would like talk about it amongst other writers and not brag but kind of like maybe passive aggressively brag yeah and someone who was like the original writer at letterman who like founded the idea of the top 10 list. Johnny Punchline.

Yeah, Johnny Punchline. He invented the punchline. He called him out and was like, Sean, nobody likes a jelly bean counter. And so Sean immediately got insecure about it. And then he is lost. He doesn't care anymore. It really is like the thing that drives him to be a three has been beaten out of him. And he doesn't.

Of course, he counts how many he gets in for himself. And maybe. And I go, do you tell your wife? Do you tell anyone like this week? I get this because I always I would not be OK with that. I just wouldn't. Well, that's why I question whether or not he's a three, because if someone told him you can't be a jelly bean counter, which means you can't get the applause that you are so desperately want. He wouldn't have gone with that. are so desperately want and he wouldn't

have gone with that he would have fought against that in some way well i would say that um you can change you you don't have to change but you could just like anything like the way he's scared of flying but he's flown so much that he's lost the fear yeah he's lost that drive of that and he's let go of it which i think is a healthy thing because a well-functioning three isn't obsessed with approval a three can be well-functioning and not be caught up in constant um you know validation then that don't they then grow to become they grow towards their health number or whatever yeah maybe that's that's a good, maybe he's something else now, but,

um, I was really fast. I'm just fascinated by that. And then this weekend we got to another talk with Anya about like why she makes art. And I was explaining to Sean about Enneagram. I'm like, you know, like you and I,

we do it because we want people to like us desperately and we want love and people liking us means we're loved. And that's like what mainly drives us and i go for anya like she's a i think a nine and i go what drives anya is she wants to connect with people that's why she makes music like and and she goes no it's not and i go what she's like no no it's because i just i want to i want to say something i like have something in me that i need to say it is nothing i don't care how it lands at all it's not about connecting with people it's not about like i need people to hear my truth it's about me just needing to say it and i'm like what interesting i it's so fascinating to me that two people can be drawn to do the same thing become performers for completely different reasons yeah

well you can have a performer in any number i know and i just it doesn't make sense to me why would you perform why would you want to stand in front of people and and perform for them if your goal was to just say something like i know that sounds crazy i think it's probably 20 on a good day of what motivates me to write what's confusing about it is she's saying say something but not like express her individuality she wants to just say something she needs to like say i i'm sorry about being heard is it so is it she wants to be heard no it's like she had she wants to um synthesize her feelings into a thing so that it's like this is this it's not even about other people validating it like she doesn't care about the other she might hearing it that might make her a four. Then she's not someone who like writes music and then is like,

guys, listen to it right away. Like on girls chat. Whereas I'm like, I do anything. I'm like, guys, look what I did.

You know, like, so it's not about her getting like either connecting with people. It's, it's just about her making things like she would still be a songwriter. If she lived alone in a closet, like she would still be making music. if she lived alone in a closet like she would still be making music if there was no other people on this planet yeah and i would have no there would be literally zero point for me to make any art if there was no other people in this

planet yeah zero reason do you agree what what would would you be motivated to write um would i be motivated to write if Would I be motivated to write if there were zero people on this planet? If there's no one? That's very extreme. You'd be not motivated to do anything. I'd probably be like, I gotta get meat or something. Let's just say if you could not

ever put it out. If I was just writing my own personal journal Anya would still write. And then posthumously maybe it was released. No, you don't get that no that's something that's still validation in the afterlife at least i know but uh think about how many people there are who don't have their art out like you but they could though is what i'm saying they could don't put creativity in a box no i'm not i'm learning that there's other way

i it's just it's almost the way i feel about when people want kids or when people want to go hiking or people want to rock climb without or do anything i just go i can't imagine there's no world in which i would ever want to do that and it's just fascinating to me that people can be so different and motivated by so many different things because i i could i relate to hermit crabs more than I relate to someone who would write a song in a vacuum I literally I like I would

relate to serial killers way more and by the way there's threes there's a lot of serial killers threes it is like that's the Sean was reading the list of famous threes he's like this isn't good yeah we're like don't forget Kevin Spacey. Well, it's healthy and unhealthy in every number.

Sure, sure. For various reasons. But I just don't get it. I think I create things. I think more and more as I get older, I'm creating things for the sake of survival. If I could just write something and nobody knew I wrote it, but I would get a million dollars, I would do it then.

If nobody knew I wrote it and I just get a million dollars, I would do it for sure. I think that's why I do things now too. Because, well, let me just offer this. Having money is a way of getting validated. If you have money and you look rich, People like you more and you are more protected. It's all about like survival. I just want to like survive.

There's the survival aspect of it. The second aspect of it is vindication and justice where I, I view myself, even if I, even if people didn't know I wrote something, if I got, if I wrote a cartoon like for Fox and it went on TV and people liked it, but they didn't know I was there, or the public didn't know,

but I still got the money for it, I would still value that because at least I believe now a good thing is out there instead of a shitty thing. And that makes the world makes more sense to me i would say that's probably the proper thing is out there my motivation yeah is like doing that and then i would say a bit i i don't want to discount the fact that i like when i like making stuff for people like me because i feel i think about what i felt like as a kid or as like if i wasn't an artist as a woman like what i would want to consume. So when people enjoy me,

it's usually because they're like me. And I'm making it for others like me who have the insecurities or need to be validated in that way. So it's all about validation. It comes from a selfish place, I'm sure. But I do really like when there are people that connect with it.

And yeah that where I feel like I meet fans and I'm like oh my god we could be best friends or they go we're the same person or something like that I guess that's innately selfish but still you're probably in this you're probably relate to anybody in your cluster you're any threes

two threes and fours are all in the I forgot which cluster there's you're not fear you're not body you're not gut your heart foot you care about yeah yeah yeah there's foot anus and mouth yeah i think there's three clusters i love doing these tests and then just it i just am so fascinated by um just i just want to write a song because I just have a song in my heart like that's so beautiful and like

not and Anya like honestly could be she had like you know when she when she popped off with like when she was in the Twilight movie and had her you know music and Grey's Anatomy she was on Jimmy Kimmel she was like opening for big acts and she was on this trajectory and she was like this is too much like it's too much I don't really like

it like it was too it was sensory overload and she was just like I just don't want it like anti three on with with Anya's talent I could be Taylor Swift I'm not joking you like I don't have that talent like if I could have that musical kind of talent, and not to say that Anya squandered it or something like Anya has the best life that she wants. She made a healthy choice for her own mental health. Yes. But she, it's like a movie.

It's, it's fascinating to me when you meet people who are so talented and they don't, you're like, what? Like my sister is, was always a like model, pretty and always told that she should be a model.

The fact that she never tried felt like what a fucking waste of a naturally lithe figure and angular bone structure no acne skin texture that's perfect no like hair that's shiny like a horse's mane that's been groomed for years like it's she is was perfect from head to toe and never was like i just don't want to make money off of this. I'm like, what a waste. But also not because what a dumb life that is in many ways. Well, that's how people feel about tall people when they don't play basketball. When you're in high school, if you're like six foot three and you're like not playing basketball, it's like, what are you doing, man?

If you're a seven footer there was my my friend rob stern yeah your friend rob stern um he there was a guy he always talks about in high school or college who was seven feet tall and everyone was like what are you doing why are you not playing basketball i just don't like basketball because i just don't like it and it's like you could the chances of entering the nba the chances of being a college player with a scholarship if you're over seven foot tall is like 75%. So you saying, I just don't like basketball is saying you don't want a 75% chance that your college is paid for.

And then you have like a 25% chance of, at least at the time, of getting, nowadays everyone's a freak, but you have 25% chance of getting into the nba being seven feet or taller 20 million dollars a year or something and it's like just to say i don't feel like it it's like it's so short-sighted because like you could you're gonna stop playing when you're 28 but or you just don't like the game like something like andre agassi does not like tennis he only played because he was his parents made him and he was good at it and reluctant like he's he hated that he was good at it he hates tennis yeah but now he's a billionaire and he can do whatever he wants for the rest of his miserable life i heard anna gosteyer on lost called teresa's

and she was talking about how she was really good at violin and she could have been great but she just didn't like violin even though she was really good at it she She just put it down and says, I truly never was good at anything. The only thing I was good at I did for a career. The first thing, I would have jumped at, all I was looking for was not enjoyment. It was not like, oh, do I like this? It's am I good at it and are people gonna, the only thing that makes me feel good

is when people tell me I'm good. That's the great challenge of your life. is to figure out things that give you that you find approval in just by being yourself and that's why i was talking to chris about the writing with you guys and and writing jokes and going over jokes and then trying them out and then going back and talking to you guys about it is my favorite it's i when i hear people talk about like i love the process like i literally hate celebrities talking about like i don't know it's just like getting into this character was my favorite part like sinking my teeth in this role and just the camaraderie on set and like i just i'm always like rolling my eyes it just seems like

just a boilerplate like bullshit that people are just talking about in press interviews because they have to you have to say you love your team and you love the hard part of it. A bunch of fucking horse shit. I literally, my favorite thing is sitting around with us. Last night when we were going over who's hot, who we all think is hot, we got way off track. We were rolling down a hill that led to nowhere. And Chris just kept trying to pull us back in and i just like i the cats away so he would go out to like walk goldie

and i'd be like okay wait let's get back to like who's hot okay sydney swinney what do you think and um then we got on a track of like we were talking about people in on twitter how funny twitter was and in 2013 and now it's big and like where who is where all those people that were huge on twitter we're just going off all these it's just so fun and then writing big and like where who is where all those people that were huge on twitter we're just going off all these it's just so fun and then writing jokes and making ourselves laugh and that really i love that so much and it doesn't give me um i'm starting to enjoy something that isn't giving me the thing that's interesting like i'm not getting any i'm barely saying things sometimes i get a laugh but i'm not like counting my laughs with you guys or like,

Oh, do they think I'm the best? Like I'm probably the least funny out of all of you. And like, I still am having the best time. So I'm, I'm beginning to actually really enjoy, um, that, that part of like, where I'm like, wow, I think I love this thing. That is kind of hard with your three personality type. I, I like being around people I think I love this thing that is kind of hard. How does that parse with your three personality types? I like being around people, maybe. I love socializing.

I love gossiping. I love, I don't know. Leave that to the scientists. Leave it to them. Noah, what did Emily give you this weekend to tell me about or to ask me about? Okay, well, first of all, i want to hear about the tour this weekend because you had great shows there was a bestie who wants to know what you thought of the audience in memphis did something happen yeah um no they were like the best audience of my life

i don't know nothing happened they were just so on board and um there was just like a you just sometimes like really like it's like a good date like it's maybe a little awkward at the beginning and then all of a sudden it just clicks and then you guys are like best friends um i've been doing this thing on stage though that i've always like usually on stage i'm not like laughing a ton with my jokes and smiling a lot as i'm talking like i'm in the joke so i'm like feeling the way i would feel in the joke i'm not like laughing at my own punchline because it's so funny which by the way is a huge way that you like like everyone likes comedians that laugh at their own jokes it's i i fall for it everyone enjoys it but i always fight

doing it because i just don't want to trick the audience into laughing for something else than they are actually laughing at right that's why i don't look them in the eyes because looking audience members in the eyes forces them to laugh because they put on, feel put on the spot. That's why I don't laugh at my own jokes. That's why I don't have pauses in between jokes because when there's a pause, audiences feel awkward and they start to applaud after a laugh. They'll just naturally do it.

I don't like, not for me. I never want an audience to, I was talking about this week in the car. I just don't want an audience i want them to know what they're laughing at yeah i don't want to trick them subconsciously because so often we are laughing at something and we don't know why we're laughing sometimes at a club like you do need to make eye contact with an audience if they're just like checked out if there's shall not do that i would not you wouldn't even my my eyes won't let me i blur my eyes and they will not unblur when i'm on stage they just won't but if the audience is like not

even really like paying attention to you or i guess that doesn't happen you just pull you just push through yes it does i bombed recently with an audience that there was no reaction yeah bombing and i did i did not flinch even once i just just kept going. You just kept going. I did not acknowledge it. I mean, I acknowledged it a couple times, but I just kept going. It was like walking over hot coals. It felt that way. It was like, I can't stop too long. It's too painful. So just keep going because this is going to be over eventually.

That's true. This cannot last forever. Either the set will end or you'll die. I would have – it was the most painful thing of my life. It was like falling downstairs For a whole hour This is the place we're not naming Yeah I think I'm going to talk about it on Kimmel I think I'm going to try to work out the story

And talk about it on Kimmel I think he's going to be on Kimmel in a couple weeks Yeah in two weeks And so I need a story for Kimmel Nothing really crazy has happened in my life Except that Except so many crazy things. Except so many crazy things.

You need to recalibrate your evaluator of what's crazy and what's not. Because to a normal person in the world, you do a crazy thing almost every day. What you're doing today is crazy. You just had Cara Delevingne interview you for Interview Magazine. That's true. I did have Cara Delevingne. You got to recalibrate because it's almost, you you're like and she was the one that the achinator could not get by the way the achinator let me down so many times the achinator can't get anybody anymore

it's out of touch the achinator is like is like is like joe biden it's it's over the hill it used to be so good it used to be so good the yakinator it's okay it's tamagotchi there's so many times where i would go hey the yakinator want to try it and then people like whatever and then i'd do it and be like in five tries they got there is there's stuff like that have you ever done the the um quiz from new york times that came out literally 12 years ago that finds what region of like what city you're from in the US just by answering what you call things oh cool like your regional dialect how you pronounce things how you

what you call things and it will get it down to like the neighborhood you're from in the US it's nuts you guys just type in New York Times dot com dot com my poop is blog it's like it's like dialect regional quiz or something like that and

you will blow your friends minds it's like the best pop versus soda versus coke yeah or is one of the and one of the questions is what do you call it when it's raining outside when the sun is out oh it's like a sun shower yeah devil beats his wife there's like a there's so many where you're like what the fuck and then there's always d or e none of the above we don't have a name for that so it's either they go a a sun shower b the devil beats his wife and then it skips to e no there's other ones but the last one is always we don't have a name for this and you can easily answer that because there's a lot of regions where they don't have names for it okay okay yeah i call it a sun shower i we didn't have a name for it in st louis that was never a thing like or what

do you call when you go by a traffic accident and um we should do the quiz it's so we should do the quiz it's really a fun when i go by a traffic accident i call that the devil beats his wife no you go by a traffic accident and you like like look at it yeah you're um oh i think in my region people would say a rubbernecker okay yes exactly but in i would call it gawking okay it's from 2013 literally to december 21st 2013 almost exactly 11 years ago dialect quiz how y'all and you guys talk and And this quiz, okay. This is a great quiz. This is great for the pod. Play along if you're, can you play along?

Can we do a couple questions before we go to break or we go to break and come back? Okay, a couple questions. Noah, have you done it before, Noah? Well, I know about it because of you, but I haven't actually taken it. Okay, so want to take it? And we can find out where exactly you're from? And if you're a bestie, pull it up. Let's go.

Noah, you grew up in a different country, but you moved here when? it and we can find out where exactly you're from and if you're a bestie pull it up let's go you you'll you grew up in a different country but you moved here when how young seven seven okay so yeah you'll this will work okay how would you address a group of two or more people you all use you lot you guys yuns yins you other y', y'all. I would say you guys. I think you guys. How do you pronounce A-U-N-T? I'm just going to, I'm not going to read them all. Just say it.

No, stop saying it. You got to let her say it. Oh, we're doing it for her. Oh, wait. We're doing it for her. Both of us. Oh, okay. I thought we were doing it for me. I can't do it for both of you.

I can only do one person. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. Oh, okay. Wait, who should we do? Let's just her both of us okay i thought we were doing it for me i can't do it for both of you i can only do one person sorry sorry sorry okay oh okay wait who should we do let's just do both of us but we can't do both we can't well i can do mine i guess brian and i are from the same region so okay brian i'm sending you this quiz hold on okay okay oh yeah you guys are from the same region so it's kind of like no, it's like you will be... Okay. Okay. How do you pronounce...

You said ant? Ant. Okay. To sound like an ant. Yes. The bug. What do you call the area of grass in the middle of some streets? A boulevard?

A midway? A traffic island? An island? A neutral ground? I have no word for this. Median or other? I have no word for this. Median or other. I have no word for this. The area of grass in the middle of some streets. This sucks because

the quiz is not in the same order as you. It's just a random order. Oh, because it figures it out as it goes. Okay, it's like the Akinator. I don't trust this shit at all now. What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in at a school a bubbler a water bubbler a drinking fountain a water fountain other i'll probably say a water fountain that's what i would say a water fountain what do you

call a traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle a rotary a roundabout a circle a traffic circle a traffic circus i have no word for this or other roundabout yeah i would call it maybe a traffic circle what really yeah a traffic circle what is the place calling it a traffic circus because they obviously heard traffic circle and they heard it wrong yeah what do you call the long sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on? A sub, a grinder, a hoagie, a hero, a poor boy, a bomber, Italian sandwich, baguette, a sarnie. I have no word for this or other. Hero. Yeah, hero.

Whoa, not sub. Okay. What do you call a sweet and carbonated beverage? Soda, pop, Coke, tonic, soft drink, lemonade, Coke. Who calls it lemonade Coca-cola fizzy drink dope other dope. There's got to be like one small town in the bayou That's like the devil beats his wife on the traffic circus and drink while i'm drinking lemonade. Yeah, okay What what do you call it? I say soda

soda What do you call the small road parallel to the highway? A frontage road? A service road? An access road? A feeder road? A gateway? We have them, but I have no word for them.

I've never even heard of this concept. Service road. Service road. What? How do you pronounce the word C-A-R-A-M-E-L? Caramel. Yeah, caramel. I say caramel. Okay. Caramel. Yeah, caramel. I say caramel.

Okay. A lot of people say caramel. What do you call the large wild cat native to the Americas? Okay, this is my favorite one. Mountain lion, cougar, puma, mountain cat, panther, catamount, mountain screamer. Oh, yeah. Or painter. Why would you call it a painter?

A painter. There's a mountain screamer in the traffic circus. Yeah, mountain lion. How do you pronounce the first syllable of L-A-W-Y-E-R? Law. Lawyer. How do you say it? Lawyer.

Okay, so rhymes with boy. Lawyer. What is the say it? Lawyer. Okay, so rhymes with boy. Lawyer. What is the distinction between dinner and supper? I'm not going to read the answer. What is the distinction? Yeah, what's the difference between supper and dinner? I think dinner is a little bit later than supper. That's what I think too.

Supper comes earlier than dinner. Okay, dinner takes place... Wait. Supper is an evening meal. Dinner is the, wait. Supper is an evening meal. Dinner is the main meal. Supper is an evening meal. Dinner is eaten earlier. Dinner takes place

in a more formal setting than supper. There is no distinction. They both have the same meaning. I think I would say that one. There's no distinction? No distinction. I would say the first one,

that supper is a little bit earlier. What? So do you have supper and dinner? You could, or you have supper and you're like, Oh, I can't have dinner. Cause I already had supper.

What the fuck? I cannot even believe that either. To me, they're interchangeable. It just means supper means you're like from the South or something like you. Yeah. I think that's really the answer. Really funny.

The real answer is this there. We don't say supper at all. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Okay. How do you pronounce the words? Okay, M-A-R-Y. Mary? M-E-R-R-Y.

Mary. Mary. M-A-R-R-Y. Mary. Wait, what's that last word? They're all the same, right? Yeah, it's Mary, Mary, Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary. Wait, what's that last word? They're all the same, right? Yeah, it's Mary, Mary, Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary.

I think Mary and Mary are a little bit different. Mary and... Have yourself a merry little Christmas and Mary had a little lamb. No, they sound the same. Mary and Mary. Mary had a little lamb. Have yourself a merry...

I think hers were all the same, though. Okay. What had a little lamb. Have yourself a Mary. I think hers were all the same, though. Okay. What do you call the small freshwater lobster often found in lakes and streams? Crawfish, crayfish, crow, crowfish, crow dad, mud bug. I have no word for this critter. Why do they put that? They really want to fuck with us.

I know it as a crawfish. Yeah, crawfish. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? Okay. This one's hilarious. Sun shower, the wolf is giving birth. What the fuck? The devil is beating his wife.

Monkey's wedding. Yeah. Fox's wedding. Pineapple rain. Liquid sun. I have no term or expression for this. What a fun time. Sun shower.

What? Sun shower. Sun shower. Yeah. How do you pronounce the second syllable of P-A-J A-M-A-S? Maz. No. Pajah.

No, you don't. You don't do it that way. Say the word. Say it. Pajamas. You say pajamas? How do you say it? Pajamas. Yes, I do. You say pajamas? How do you say it? Pajamas. Okay, so it's either with the word vowel in jam or with the vowel in palm. You say jamas. Okay.

Yeah. What do you call something that is across both streets from you at an intersection or diagonally across from you in general, like something that's diagonal from you? Kitty corner? Kitty corner. Catter corner. Catty corner. Kitty cross. Kitty w kitty womp get out of here with that who are yeah who is that i would use diagonal for this i have no bank is kitty womp is from us are you kidding me it's insane the devil beats his wife i would say diagonal or across the street okay no it's kitty corner

do you pronounce c-o-t and c-a-u-g-h-t the same coat and no c-o-t oh like when yeah when you're at like a hotel and you need an extra bed oh i say cot cot okay and then uh they blank the criminal. Caught. Caught. She says them differently. Yeah. Okay. What do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down to look at an accident or diversion on the side of the road?

Rubberneck? Rubbernecking? Rubbernecking is the activity, the slowing down and gawking, that causes the traffic jam, but I have no word for the traffic jam itself. Gapers block. Gapers delay. don't even think i'm done looky loo curiosity delay gawk block i have no word for this cock block um it is rubbernecking is the activity of trap that slows down the traffic but i have no word for this yeah well first of all that is the right answer none of you the thing couldn't be rubbernecking you couldn't call the accident rubbernecking i call

it rubbernecking but the accident itself or the activity of looking the people looking yes that's what i'm saying what do you call it but what do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down is not called a rubberneck oh i call it rubber necking because it's the the you call the accident the rubber necking it's called it's the traffic it's the traffic cause what do you call a traffic jam cause okay the traffic jam is called rubber ducking i call it rubber neck because everyone is the the reason there is a traffic jam is because people are slowing down to look at an accident and so their their necks get real long and stretchy. Well, yes, I understand what the term comes from, but I don't think

You know rubber, right? I would call it a traffic jam. Yes, exactly. Thank you. From rubbernecking. News 12, Long Island. How many more questions? How do you pronounce it? Five more. Six more. We can go to break. Coming back with six more questions after this.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from Jon and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, Noah, question number 20 out of 25.

How do you pronounce B-E-E-N? Bin. Okay, like the vowel in sit, bin. What do you call a big road on which you drive relatively fast? Highway, freeway, parkway, turnpike, expressway, throughway. A freeway is bigger than a highway. A freeway is free.

A highway isn't. A freeway has limited access. No stoplights, no intersections, whereas a highway can have stoplights and intersections. I just call them all highways. Same. What do you call the sweet spread that is put on a cake? This one was interesting.

Frosting or icing? Frosting, icing. Frosting and icing refer to different things. Both, neither. This one was interesting. Frosting or icing? Frosting, icing. Frosting and icing refer to different things. Both, neither. I would say icing. Icing. Interesting.

That would never... Okay, we're getting close. What do you call the area of grass between the sidewalk and the road? The berm? The parking? Tree lawn? Terrace?

Curb strip? Beltway? Verge? I have no word for this. I have no word for this i have no word for this i just call it a sidewalk but it's it's the grass i know it's all the same to me i had to look that up once because i want to know what it was called and then i forgot what i what because i didn't have a word for it either i didn't either that must be like a very specific neighborhood what do you call if they if you answered that what would you call a sale of unwanted items on your porch or in your yard a yard sale yeah that's 100 other ones are

tag sale garage sale rummage sale thrift sale stoop sale carport sale sidewalk sale jumble sale car boot sale patio sale honestly i think i would actually call it a garage sale garage sale okay oh yeah yard sale or yeah garage sale growing up changeable yeah i shall grow growing up but i've seen a lot of signs around here for yard sales and i think that's why yard sales more west like the west western southwest yeah what do you call the small gray bug that curls up into a ball when it's touched this is the last question a pill bug a doodle bug a potato bug a roly-poly a so bug or sow bug but basketball bug twiddle bug roll-up bug woodlouse millipede centipede these all sound like little names i give my dog a centipede a centipede the little gray bug do you know what i'm talking this i have no idea

what this bug is i don't know anything i don't know what that is i have no idea what this creature is is probably the right answer for you oh you don't know what this little gray bug is that rolls up in a ball like a like an armadillo no no no it's like it has like an exoskeleton kind of thing it rolls up in a bug we just had water bugs growing up and roaches. So I don't know. Okay. It's calculating it. Okay, girly.

You are from Yonkers. Newark, Patterson, Yonkers, New Jersey. No, Brooklyn, New York. But close enough, I guess. I finished mine too. i got the i i answered some questions a little bit differently but the thing in the middle i i remember i call an island definitely the grass in the middle of the street is an island i didn't see much of those growing up so and then i selected that i don't use the word supper at all for the supper question

and i also got yonkers, Patterson, New York. But no, it's not saying we're from Yonkers. It's saying we're from any of these locations. The heat of the map. It's like the map shows like red and then blue and then green. It nailed it in terms of where you're from. I mean, it has the general region.

No, it's impressive. It's like the geotagging guys it's about as impressive as the achinator it's it a little bit more when you are when you are with people that are from like a small town in georgia or something like it blows people's mind yeah they can get it well you know people in that region talk the same so the fact that i i wouldn't think that someone from yonkers would talk very much different from someone from long island should have asked what you call a place where you get um food and buy your food oh yeah the grocery store question yeah right she would have called it a supermarket supermarket yeah the other question you could ask i can smell the word supermarket because it smells like a new york like you know where the deli section like oh yeah that sour kind of meat

and cold like yeah thick the cold meat smell is so gross yeah but it's like permeates the whole place because supermarkets in new york are so small that they're not as spread out as ones in st louis the meat department you can like not smell it when you're in the cereal yeah i love how a Whole Foods smells. And I think they designed it on purpose to smell a specific way so that when you go into Whole Foods, my dad read this in a book about Whole Foods, that they make it smell a certain way so that when you go into a Whole Foods, you're like, oh, Whole Foods. And you get like that.

It makes sense. I mean, that's all what like any kind of corporation that's like Starbucks. There's like so many. It's all about like, it's not even about the taste of the coffee. People go, it tastes bad. It's like, we know. Or you know famously. It's the way the cup feels in your hand.

It's the way the door feels when you open it. It's the way the music is. Oh God, the music. It's the sounds of the foamers. Like they put thought into everything. Like little sensory experience. Every corporations are evil. So fucking evil.

But you know who invented this almost in like the modern era is, well, that's not what I was going to say, but yeah, Abercrombie, but for a food place is Subway. Oh my God. The smell of the bread baking. When you walk into a Subway, that place stinks like no other place. I love it. It smells like being in middle school, high school. Yeah, well, that's exactly what they want. They got you. They got you in middle school place i love it it smells like my it smells like being in middle school high school yeah well that's exactly what they want they got you they got you in middle school i love it and there's just you know it's like watching seinfeld it just feels nostalgic it

feels like warm and um yeah oh god i loved subway i still i still do okay final thought we only have one episode this week let's get through some topics so this uh yesterday or two days ago i saw wicked in theaters and um are you holding space i'm holding space yeah i want to make sure that cynthia arrivo's um uh well recognized so let's just take a moment no i saw i saw wicked um last night or tonight things struck me. One is I was very heartened to see how many people went to the movie. It was like a packed theater. Yeah, no shit. It's opening night.

But this has not been the case. But it's the biggest movie anticipation. We've been hearing about it for months and months. With the advertising, for sure. It's Swift-ish. Yeah. I mean, the same thing's happening for gladiator 2 i just hope that all of these like event movies kind of permeate percolate throughout movies in general and people remember that it's fun to go to the movie theater

and then people start to read a take on on instagram or on reddit that was like movie theaters suck why does everyone the only reason people want everyone to go back to movie theaters is because it's more profitable like you can enjoy a movie at home in the same way you don't like everyone who goes like you gotta go to the movies again and they're really building it up and it's like i'm like oh my god we all have bought into this like going to amc theater you get you experience the magic and it, no, it's just people want you to spend more money. That's not how I feel. I feel like theaters got louder also.

Oh, they're so loud. Put you guys the biggest hack I can ever offer you. I do it in my Pilates classes because sometimes it's the speaker is just too loud and piercing. Go to the bathroom, get some tissue, take off the littlest piece and stick it in your ear. Choose tissue paper. Protect your ears. If your ears are hurting piece, and stick it in your ear. Choose tissue paper. Sure. Protect your ears.

If your ears are hurting, do not let it happen. Yeah, no, I'm so far gone. I understand that the theater is a social experience. Watching it with a group of people. Yes. The screen is superior. It's dark. The sound is...

And the best thing of all is you focus on the movie. You don't take out your phone. Yeah. No, you're not wrong. You sit there and you're forced to on the movie. You don't take out your phone. You sit there and you're forced to watch the movie. But I've never heard someone say they watched a movie at home

and didn't see it at the theater and I go, well, you didn't really get to experience it. I don't- Well, you shouldn't say that, especially in that voice. Although if someone listens to a book, I don't think they read a book as much.

I will give you 75% that you read a book. Do you agree with me? I think audiobooks, when people say I read a book and they say audiobook, it's not like I don't respect you. I still think it's cool because you probably read more than I do, but you didn't read, you're not absorbing it in the same way. There's got to be studies on this. There's no way it's the same.

Unless you're driving and listening to an audiobook where you can really focus, you're not listening. You were in the Army Reserve. You didn't go to Afghanistan. That's what it feels like. It doesn't feel the same. I did like the take of just looking at these things that we're told are like,

that's the way it should be done. Is someone making way more money by making us convinced that this is the way to take in this art? And the truth is, yes. Well, a different group of people are making money. People are still making money off of you if you're watching it at home. Not in the same way that they are making it.

If you're streaming it, the margins on streaming are not even close where you can just buy a thing for, buy a subscription for $7.99, seven 90 what is it 14.99 a month yeah and then you have thousands of things to choose from is not the same margins as paying 25 for a ticket and then eight dollars for a popcorn all of that shit is bad though all of that shit it's getting thousands of anything is bad for that subscription price i'm not saying it's good but it was just an interesting take that i was like oh i have just been kind of conditioned to think that if you go to the theater you're that's the only way to truly enjoy the cinema but it's like that's coming from people that are making money off of that way more money movie makers i'm not making money off of it and i i just enjoy going to movies i understand that

it is a better experience but it's not like it's not like the world would fall apart if people stop going to the movie theater yeah no no there's no i mean i highly doubt that would happen that would be crazy if the world fell apart going out to do anything anymore like no did you read the stuff about uh gen z is is not leaving their homes no yeah i don't we can talk to gen zm about this but they did they just came out with this big retro respective study about the generation Gen Z. And they're saying that they're the least social generation. And yeah, I think this was on maybe Tim's podcast where he was talking about this and how he was saying that that's not a bad thing. That people are not going to bars and not going to clubs.

I saw that too. Yeah. He's like, because people are not alcoholics they realize they're going to bars and clubs when in your 20s and wasting a decade of your life getting drunk is stupid and yeah money wasting your money money but i don't think i don't view movies in the same way and i don't know i don't view going out to see music at smaller venues like the only people that are making money doing like, you know, performing are people at the top.

Yeah. In, in anything. There's no space for like just a touring band to do like a 200 seat venue. No. In the last five minutes of the show. Can we talk about Gracie Abrams speaking of? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Something happened. Wait, hold on. I just want to hear Wicked. You loved it, right? Loved Wicked. Everybody, yeah, yeah. Something happened. Wait, hold on. I just want to hear Wicked. You loved it, right? Loved Wicked. Everybody in it was amazing, except for one person who I will not call out on the podcast.

But the movie was just as good as the musical. Whoa. When it ended, I was like, this is as good as I felt. I felt this way when I was in high school. When I saw Avatar and I was like, I'm painting myself a little baby. No, when I was in high school and I saw avatar and i was like i'm painting myself baby no when i was in high school and i saw wicked on broadway they my high school sent me to broadway to go see wicked why and yeah brian was like a amazing actor in high school and then he completely lost it i'm not joking he literally was like one of the best actors and people were like you were you were in i was plucked

yeah i was plucked by like these like these like theater people to uh like be groomed i guess i don't know not in a sexual way but to be groomed for the theater eventually yeah it all leads to that yeah in hollywood and then i played alan in equus and um there i was truly it was it's so frustrating because i was truly amazing. I was in this Equus thing and there were like older guys who were like telling me to take my clothes off. They're older guys who were actors and they were like, how do you access these emotions? How do you become this character? How do you see the horse?

And I literally, I would do the scenes and I would like have to leave the room because I was so emotionally drained after doing them. I really did. You were like a real actor. I was like, I can't be near you. I can't be near you. I got to go. Okay. So can you speak to the thing of like kids being like having emotions that you're just

like, where did you get this from kid? Like you can speak to that because like when you see kids being good actors, you're like, what the fuck? Like, where are you pulling this from? You have been, you've let like they're, they're kids, what the fuck? Where are you pulling this from? They're kids that aren't from broken homes. You certainly weren't. How could you access that? Well, I was from a broken home.

Past life. I mean, I think I did pull it. There was a play I was in where my parents were getting divorced. And I obviously was able to access my own parents' divorce. But I think what ruined it for me, because then I went to college. And I started auditioning for the plays there and and i was i went in as a theater major and i was doing this audition and i remember the moment where i was like i can't act i can't act anymore i was sitting in an audition and i was sitting across from the person the director or whatever and i

was doing my scene and i was like i i i feel i felt like i was like hitting on her my character like i felt like my character wasn't hitting on this character it wasn't like a sexual scene i was like you know brother and sister or something and the way i was like playing it it read like i'm like hitting not on the character like i'm hitting on the director in real life it's what it felt like and i I was like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm like flirting with the director in through this scene. What do you think it was that made you? I think I know exactly what it was.

Comedy. Because I was jumping into improv. I was thinking about writing stand up at the time. And I was like, now i've removed myself from being in stuff and i'm now an observer and a commenter on things and you can't act if you're not in it and you you feel disingenuous and lame when you're like i'm actually sad and it's like the comedian's mind judging it too much yeah the comedian's is mine it's like you're not actually sad about this this is all fake you want to come in there and be like yeah you're cynical cynical and you cannot be cynical as an

actor you need to be so bought in yeah wow that's interesting one step between acting and um stand up is improv where you are acting but you know it's all for and so one of the biggest mistakes you can make in improv is be what they call uh in certain regions is like a wallflower where you sit back on the back line and you just comment on what other people are doing. And that's like a bad improv skill to have because you need to be in the scene. But if the comedians – that's why stand-ups are so bad at improv is because the comedians – We're too embarrassed to make ourselves look stupid, by the way. In improv, you need to look stupid so much. So much, yes.

And the stand-up's mind is just make fun of those stupid things. Yes! Okay, that is the difference. I'm so cringed out by improv. Not because when I watch it, for myself to do it. When I watch it, I really admire it. Yeah. But for myself.

But I think there's a part of me that also judges it. And I think that other people are going to judge me. Well, it's one of the lamest art forms that's judges it. And I think that other people are going to judge me. Well, it's one of the lamest art forms that's ever been invented. I think I'm obsessed with it recently. I've been watching a lot of it. And I'm so impressed. Okay, so Wicked's great.

Wicked's amazing. And I just want to warn people because I did not know this going in. It's part one and part two. Oh, I know. It's fucking split up. How long is it it and that's why everyone's saying this is why the girls are crying all the time it's because they have put everything they have into it and i'm just like i don't really care it's still a movie stop crying i i'm not

trying to be a jerk i i i love ariana i'm sure cynthia arrivo is i know she's incredible they're both amazing oh my god this movie's gonna, he's going to sweep the award shows. It's amazing, but it's just a fucking movie. Let's stop crying about it. I just think these girls are on press tours and they're tired and they're hungry. And then they, they get a little,

there's a little chance of like that of something that moves them. And they're just like, they, they weaken and they fall. Cause they're crying a lot. Promoting the movie, Ariana and Cynthia. Yes. And isn't there some weird, the movie? Ariana and Cynthia? Yes.

Isn't there some weird bonding? Yes, she held her finger in a clip. That is so funny. Wow. Because a woman tells Cynthia Erivo that the song Defying Gravity, a lot of queer people have been holding space for it. What does that mean?

It doesn't really make sense holding but then cindy arrivo is acting like she's found out you know what like like like she's like really it's like it's very confusing like what is shocking about this and she was like well i've just seen it a couple times that queer people are holding space for it what is it really it's so confused dude it's holding space this clip is going it really it's so confused dude it's holding space this clip is going viral because it's so confusing and then about being yourself finally starts crying a little bit crying getting like teared up and then ariana like comforts her and just like grabs her finger instead of the hand she just grabs like so funny it's just the funniest thing i i mean like

it's just i think they are just over they're so tired from doing press yeah nothing we should take nothing they say seriously anymore and we should let them be and we should make fun of them because they're in a um vulnerable state with how much the press they've been doing like you can't you can't judge anything they're doing but it was still really funny this is what it takes to have a movie sweep the nation like this, unless you get the Barbenheimer thing where Oppenheimer didn't do this. But you have to invest literally like $300 million into just marketing in order for everyone in the country to actually watch the movie. And I'm going to go see it this week with Chris.

I'm really excited. I know I'm going to fucking love it. I know nothing about it. You've never seen wicked or heard of wicked i mean i've heard of wicked but i did not know what it was about i didn't know they were going to witch college or something yeah they go to witch college and i know the yeah that and then i know um popular but i don't know any words from well you know that it's based on the wizard of oz i found that out like two days ago.

Frank Baum's Wizard of Oz. One of them's green. It's Galinda and Elphaba. I know that Bo and Yang is in it. I literally know nothing else. They really leaned into Bo and Yang being funny throughout the entire movie. Okay. Yeah.

They were like, he's the funny one. So whenever we have a moment that needs to be funny, it will be him't give it they don't give it any chances to anyone else to be funny is what you're saying um ariana grande gets to be character funny where she's like because her characters um interesting she makes character moves that are not jokes but like funny anytime there's like a straight up joke it comes from bowen yang okay yeah well sometimes that's it's good and bad it's good and bad okay bowen yang does a great job but it's also like we get that he's the comedy relief here um and so like if this character is reading a little bit untrue because every single thing he says is literally a punch line so it's like good and bad

it's he's funny he's great in it obviously he can sing i didn't know that yeah um and he's hilarious um as a writer i'm looking at it i'm like can you flesh him out a little bit since he's not just the punchline guy right yeah but that's i love that's mincing nitpicking um and then yeah just to cap us off um like the biggest thing of my weekend was emily sent me a text on i think friday night that just said oh my god and i was like busy doing something but i whenever she says oh my god i know it's like something on it someone's commented on something on instagram someone's following me now someone dm'd me and it was a video of gracie abram, who's like my favorite artist right now, saying really nice things about me.

Whoa, no way. Yes. Yeah, it was so nice. What did she say? Can we play it? I didn't repost it because I don't want to just like, it's screen recorded from like a YouTube video.

Okay. So I didn't like want to brag about it, but I do, to the besties, I have to like, I sent it to my family. I sent it to Chris because everyone knows what Gracie Abrams means to me me right now yeah and it was like oh my god

this person that you're like legit obsessed with gracie abrams is like you're taylor swift i know i know and she's basically saying like whatever nikki glazer says like i'm i'm in i i love it it's so nice i'm almost uncomfortable by it because it's just too nice but I it was extremely validating to just hear from someone that you love Instagram

I'll post it on the Instagram yes we'll post on the Instagram yeah we saw that you commented on Nikki Glazer's rendition of it I mean I love her she's so good I really

love her I think she's a genius and so to see her care at all about anything that I've ever done is huge for me. Yeah, it's a big deal. But it was, yeah, it's just like, you know, you, it just, for me to like have to love someone that like everyone knows over the past few months, I've become utterly obsessed with her in a way that is similar to the way I felt about Taylor Swift. And I've never even expected anything to come from Taylor Swift about me in my life and never expected to. And I would never expect it from Gracie either. Like, I just like love artists unabashedly.

I'm not waiting for when are they going to. There was an interview I did recently where they go, whose phone call are you dying for? Who are you waiting for that phone call from? And I'm like like no one yeah i don't expect anyone to be like wow we love i'm never like when is that person gonna notice me or acknowledge my father yeah exactly i said chris because i uh had told him i was depressed the night before and he was like do you want me to call you and i go no i'm just sad i don't want anyone to call and i'm like that's who I'm waiting to call.

I'm like, I said no, but it meant yes. But anyway, she said really nice things. And it was just a feeling I've never felt before of having someone that you like are just crazed over. Like,

I couldn't be more, a bigger fan of greasy Abrams right now. And out of anyone in the world, like obviously Taylor Swift is my, the OG, but like i i'm in the very uh nascent stages of that kind of adoration for gracie abrams i think she's that kind of artist and so it just it felt really good to hear a nice thing and i send it to everyone in

my life that i love and who loves me because i'm like this is a really special moment in my life and um and it was nice because if this would have happened a month ago people wouldn't have known my Gracie obsession but it has amplified so intensely over the last month even Chris I was like we haven't been together for the past couple months but it if you would have been around me I'm listening to her non-stop I have everything memorized and he was like I just got tears in my eyes this is amazing he keeps talking about it's really sweet so thank you you, Gracie. I love her so much. And that's what you're thankful for.

Yes, that's it. It is Thanksgiving, maybe today even, if you're listening to this. Yes. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. I'll say what my Pilates instructor said this morning. Enjoy eating this holiday season.

Don't be obsessed with your body. Give yourself grace. Let yourself do indulge. Let yourself enjoy things and do not let any comments about your body get you down. Anyone who comments on you is projecting and they're worried about their own self and they're jealous or they

deeply hate themselves. Can I throw out a fuck you to somebody? When the internet says, this holiday season, don't forget, whatever you put in your body, your body remembers. And I'm just like, fuck you. No.

Like it's saying, don't binge during Christmas or don't eat a bunch of candy and stuff during Halloween or Thanksgiving. You only have a couple more Christmases left. Yeah. Maybe. Have a good time. Christmas is the best. Holidays are the best time of year.

It's just like as a joyous time. Let that joy in. You might hate it because it reminds you of bad times in your family, but let it in a little bit and love yourself this Christmas. Be your own family this Christmas if your own family sucks

like yeah let the holiday spirit in we don't know how many more of these we have that we get in lives we're not guaranteed even this one so enjoy it

eat as what you want I had a cookie last night and I never have cookies yeah I had several cookies yeah so have your cookie I ate a cookie and then Chris bought

more cookies and I was like oh my god then I ate those too. Yeah. So eat your cookies. Let's have fun. And don't be, and we'll see you next week.

Yeah. We'll see you next year. And before that too. Bye. The Nikki Glaser Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast. Created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser. Co-hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Noah Avior. podcast created and hosted by me nikki glazer co-hosted by brian frangie executive produced

by will ferrell han sani and noah avior edited and engineered by lean and loaf video production mark canton and music by anya marina you can now watch full episodes of the nikki glazer podcast on youtube follow at nikki glazer pod and subscribe to our channel john stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.

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