The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #50 Always Set You Up

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Between you and Nikki, she chooses to ignore some of her calendar alerts. We learn that posture and pain can affect how you sleep, what posture Nikki might enjoy while getting a foot rub and how to set up a friend for success while dining with a famous broadcaster. Dating and relationship stories fill the headlines and Andrew finally gets Nikki to not care about his story in the Why Do I Care segment. Nikki's Reddit Dump is full of gems and in the Final Thought Andrew gets an answer about how to get Nikki to go hiking. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast,

and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports.

I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party. That's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Hi, Noah. Hi, listener. How's it going? It's the Nikki Glaser podcast, Tuesday's episode. Oh, boy. Today, I have been up to a lot. This is honestly the best part of my morning.

I was looking so forward to this. Let's just get to the podcast. I woke up 15 minutes late. This is a weird thing I'm doing now in my life where I know I have to be up for something and I'll just choose to ignore it. Like my assistant sends me a text every night because I asked for this of what I have the next day.

I think I should probably cancel those texts because I just thumbs up them and think I've seen them and committed them to memory. When my old way of working is I would just look at my calendar right before bed and go what what's tomorrow gonna be like because I I don't want to look at it too early in the day because then I just have start having dread for being overworked and I'd like to keep that dread to right before I'm laying my head upon my silk pillow that is disgusting I got like my my last assistant got me this light pink silk pillow because I was having I was freaking out my about my hair falling out

last year she was like you need a silk pillowcase which I've heard about forever it's good for your skin it's just slippery and it doesn't like so and it's not cotton it's not absorbing the oils of your skin so i got this pink pillowcase but it it's so beat up now with spray tan and mascara and and i'm not someone who sleeps in their makeup it's just i wear so much goddamn makeup sometimes one washing getting it all and it's just it's so it's like the velveteen rabbit of pillowcases pillowcases are disgusting um but i don't like fresh ones because i'm like oh they're absorbing they they absorb more because i i use cotton ones too anyway so i forgot that i had a covid test this morning at like 8 a.m for bill maher it's just so funny i think it's because

i don't respect them anymore i'm like this is dumb you know what i mean it's like when you like now i've become an anti-masker you know and which was the thing that i was like someone was writing on reddit the other day telling a story about how when they see people's noses customers noses they're filled with such fury from dealing with those assholes last year that when they when a customer's like haphazardly wearing a mask now which is like what i'm doing but i get that like as a retail employee this person was just telling an anecdote of like the rage that they feel as in the retail industry dealing with people anti-maskers last year uh shout out to everyone who worked retail last year and customer service truly i see you i hear you i appreciate you so much i know the fucking

nightmares you put up with they were karen's all day long you know and because apparently this year no i don't know if you know people have customers have been there's been so much celebration of like thank you frontline workers banging pots and pans but we weren't doing that for people who were working at starbucks or grocery stores or fucking anthropology the people people are so mad this year and cooped up that when they were able to go out and then they're anti-maskers on top of that being told by an employee that they don't respect a young girl that works at anthropology is telling a woman to put on a mask and then that woman takes all her rage that she has pent up from her family being locked in with them out on this out on employees and employees got treated like shit

this year and the customer is always right is still this kind of motto that the retail industry follows and it's bs the customer is mostly wrong and entitled and deserves to be put in place. But corporations are so about whatever keeps customers happy. Because it's not about the customer. It's about the customer's money. The customer is always right. It's just their money is right. And they're wrong.

And we're just going to keep pretending like they're like the the placation that happens to dumb people that are feeling entitled to how they their drink or their food is done and how you have to like act like respect those people and you see like smart managers like dealing with rowdy customers and like having to treat them nicely like there should just be an overall rule like there should be insurance for those places that if you have enough incidents of customers acting like assholes, the insurance company will reimburse you for the money that you would have made on those people because you stand up to them. Asshole reassurance or asshole insurance. Does that make sense? So I don't respect this COVID test I was late for it I had to get on a zoom with a

doctor to have him witness me do it he doesn't respect it either I mean he's making money off of it but like he's just like yeah stick it in your nose and I'm like twisting it like he's like you don't even need to go back there just just fucking throw it in your nose just tap it on your nose and put it in the bag and uh have a good day So I threw that thing in the mail. And then then I had a call about Conan. Conan is retired, you know, not retiring. Conan's leaving TBS. He's moving to HBO. No one knows what he's going to do there, but it might not be late night. So he's like leaving late night. So it's like this big send off. I feel like it's weird because I feel like we're treating it like a retirement and I'm being asked to give quotes and like there's a lot of

celebrations and like the end of a run, which it's always good to be celebrated but this isn't the end of anything for Conan so it feels a little weird talking about like his run in late night what did you learn from him it's like is he dead I don't but I did an interview with Vulture that's just celebrating him which I'm glad to do definitely just said just when i talk about conan i get in this like i can't be funny about him almost which is ironic because he's like the reason i'm funny but i'm just i get too sincere and i um i feel like i make everyone uncomfortable that has to be on the call including my publicist who has to like quietly listen to me talk to these producers and these writers when I have these press opportunities your publicist sits quietly and listens to you do the interview so

you realize that she might just be like oh Nikki no one cares about that you don't need to tell people that uh you might start looking into the kink community I'm'm just like, yeah, why am I telling this Bill Maher producer that? Listen, you know, because I want these, I'm not ashamed of who I am, I guess, is the overall point. But maybe I should be. My publisher should come up with like a little way of letting me know, like, back off without saying back off. Like, well, I guess she could text me, but I guess we're not there yet. And maybe, maybe I'm not doing anything wrong. But I'm on this call about the Conan thing this morning and just rattling on about how much he means to me because he does mean a lot. God damn it. He's funny. And then I jump on. And then I went from that straight to another call because

I'm doing a show next week, where I had to talk about how much I love fast food, which guess what? I don't. I went into like a whole thing of like, listen, I look at fast food places now and I see them as drug dens where the masses get the cheapest and most affordable drug. And I'm sorry, that was redundant. The most affordable and legalist drug that isn't regulated in any way. You know, at least you can't drink. Drinking is legal, but there's certain sanctions around it to protect people from hurting themselves

or others with it. But food, just have at it, man. Eating and driving should be not good. Like any distracted driving remember when Dawson's dad died because he was reaching for a I believe it was a soft serve cone maybe I've that seemed weird though because you would just let it go because or maybe actually a soft serve cone if I dropped it into my dirty car on this passenger side I would probably try to get it and while do so while doing so drive off

a cliff like dawson's dad or if i got it i would just like wipe it off i like don't care about things falling on the floor i've never been that type of germaphobe the the horror with which i have been met with by people around me when i drop something on the floor and pop it in my mouth and everyone it's like I just go I don't care I just you don't know if that you just blindly trust the kitchens of places although the other day I did go into a restaurant and use their bathroom before I got the host's attention that we were outside so I quickly ran to the bathroom and I saw how dirty it was and I go knowing what I know about working at a restaurant and like if the bathroom's clean like it's what's going on in the front of the house it's worse back there I was like I don't know that I want

to eat here luckily they I literally went up to the host and he's like I'm really backed up it's just not I'm not gonna get to you for a while and I was like thank you for your honesty I'm leaving your bathroom's disgusting I didn't say that but uh and I but I probably won't be back there I'm gonna bring Andrew in he's gonna tell us about his golf day yesterday gotta be honest not really interested in how he played uh he I asked him about it when he got home yesterday and uh he wanted to tell me about his like how, how he played. And I just wanted to hear about what the boys talked about. Like, what were the jokes? What were the funny things?

I don't want to hear, you know, my swing. I would just go, and Noah, I was trying so hard not to be an asshole and just go, Andrew, I don't care about your golf game. But I couldn't help. I let it go for a little bit longer than I would have normally. I would have normally I would have snapped instantly been like just tell me what you guys talked about like did and like who was there and like funny jokes I don't care about your like your swing but I instead I held on to

it a little bit too long and it probably came out even worse than what I just did so we'll we'll check in with him now and see how bad it was it It's a busy morning here at Shea Glazer, but this is the best part of my day and I'm excited to get to the show. Let's get Andrew in here now. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How To Money will help you to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion

to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can you hear it? It's the whisper of two wolves inside you. One says, you're not enough. The other says, keep going.

You can do this. They're always talking. The one you listen to shapes your life. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. On my podcast, we explore how to hear the voice that matters, the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction.

Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's your turn. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely

new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model. Lingerie, topless.

I said yes please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to the show, Andrew. What's going on? Saw you just bend down there. You feeling okay physically? Yeah, I feel good. I didn't know if that was like the proper... It looked like the proper...

I was been watching a lot of Alexander Techniques on YouTube. It's a way of like moving your body that makes it so you put no strain on any muscles. And I think you just did an Alexander Technique like kind of... It looks like you're in pain because you're like bracing the way you're moving. but no strain on any muscles. And I think you just did an Alexander technique. Like, um, kind of, it looks like you're in pain cause you're like bracing the way you're moving.

But I think it's proper, uh, bone alignment. But Alexander technique is, is wild. I don't even want to get into it right now, but I'm, I'm getting back into it.

I, I got into it for Colin Quinn recommended a teacher to me cause he had voice issues. You know, Colin Quinn, like talk like this. Like it kind of sounds like that. He was losing his voice. He was a broadway show seven times a week

and uh he went to this voice teacher and he was losing his voice all the time like i do uh often and he recommended this voice teacher but it turns out it was just an alexander technique teacher which is this whole body alignment thing and i'm into it spiritual almost i definitely am off alignment like i went to that chiropractor to got like a test run he didn't crack me but he like checked out my body and he's like yeah you're off a little bit you know a good amount he wouldn't even crack my neck because he thinks i should get an x-ray first so i don't know what that means but my hips very very tight hips. Yeah, there's a way of sitting that just puts no stress on your bones, and it just uses gravity to align your bones so that they're all just on top of each other naturally, almost like they're balancing.

Instead of putting our body in ways that, you know, when you put your neck forward, you're holding up 20-plus pounds, where you could always just be balanced in a way that you're just, you know, when you're balancing a broom, it's easier than holding a broom, you know? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Somehow gravity gets more involved when it's like leaning when it's up. Like if you're balancing a broom on your hand, it really is not that much pressure, you know? But then suddenly you hold, you grip that broom and you tilt it to the front and it's like,

Oh, that's what your neck and head are, are a broom essentially. Yeah. I mean, the same weight, but it's like, if you tilt it to the front and it's like oh that's what your neck and head are are a broom essentially yeah i mean the same weight but it's like if you position it differently it's so much easier yeah because i was looking at my phone so much you know walking around especially new york as a dog walker eight hours of my day was just you look down and you forget that and then i literally developed you develop a hump yeah which is like muscle or yeah it's like a i also have the thing whale neck or whatever the fuck they call it the phone finger the little dent in your pinky

that everyone has look at your pinky everyone now look at the hand where you hold your phone your right hand i don't have that right now and there is a dent because you'll hold your phone and it rests inside the dent look whenever i hold my phone it's always this and so right there at the bottom where you your phone lines up into your pinky, everyone that holds it that way has it. Yeah, but you can. Probably gonna pass it on to her kin. I thought, so my grandma Thelma,

she kind of had that disease where you're looking at your vagina the whole time and you can't pick your head completely up. So I was kind of worried that, oh, I'm getting. No one wants to be that, by the way. When you look at those hunchbacked people walking around, no one goes,

he's not different than you. Like an adult who probably looked at those people when he was an erect man. He read a lot of newspapers. Yeah. That's why he, no, I'm just kidding. That just happens slowly, dude. It's scary.

Yeah, no, I know. But you can correct if you have a hump. Like there's a, I mean, that could be scoliosis and, like, different things. But the other thing, you can correct it by doing stretches. And I honestly, I've noticed already. My ex-boyfriend's grandmother was completely a right angle. I called her right angle.

Because she was bent over in a way that you could seriously hang things, like, posters. Like, I would use her to perfectly oh i literally was like oh his right angle could be there and the family like didn't embrace it as funny as i thought it was except my ex-boyfriend was like he he would be like yeah we probably but she would go from a right angle like in pictures she would walk over the picture literal right angle like no way i'm not kidding you it was this low like maybe this maybe we're going like a, she was a little obtuse angle. Would anyone put stuff on her back? No.

So then for pictures she would go and straighten up and they would like undo it and like hold her up. Like she was almost like she had a spring in like, you know, connecting from her thigh to her stomach that they would like extend and it would snap back. But she would for pictures be able to straighten up to about a uh i think we got her almost to like a 160 one time i mean are there i mean you got to look at photos throughout the year how how quick did it go from i don't know i would like to investigate it i probably could because they have like so many pictures on their wall i'm saying i think we should look through all their photos and we could see all the different degrees yeah

because it's slow it's not not overnight. Oh, man. I mean, overnight would be terrifying. Could you imagine getting out of bed and then you're just a table? I mean, that happens to some people. They wake up and they're like, oh, my God, they fucked up their back. Like one look, they bend down and all of a sudden it's like, yikes. I mean, back pain is probably the number one. I mean, we talk about it a lot.

And if you want to tackle your back pain, read the book Healing Back Pain. I swear to God, it works. No matter what your back pain is, it seriously will alleviate your pain. Healing Back Pain, Dr. John Sarno. That's all I'm going to say. And my lower back, you know, from golf yesterday and the last two days. You've never read that book. Oh, I never read it.

I don't have back pain that much. But even if you have it a little bit, any pain. I have back pain weird phantom foot pains and that's not and i'm not just i'm saying that in a way that's like you easily could have gotten rid of that pain if you read that book i know right now i have pain in this part plantar fasciitis is that what that's called probably planners i'm obsessed with feet i know I could literally go in. What's this part right here? That, I mean, I don't know what it's called, but I know the tendons around it, and I know the, yeah,

that seems like maybe you just don't have enough padding on the ball of your foot. Where the golf cleat is. They built these new golf cleats that are pretty much shoes, but they're, I don't know if they're as effective as what the old school was. Do you have arch?

You have big arches. Yeah. I was from St. Louis. You have to. Would you find it? Would you date a guy with flat feet? Um, that wouldn't hurt anything, right? I would love to because I've been watching.

Oh my God. I watched flat feet massage videos because people with flat feet have the most pain, painful foot massages. And I love seeing people in pain. It's really weird. my god i watch flat feet massage videos because people with flat feet have the most pain painful foot massages and i love seeing people in pain it's really weird it's like sexual i watch you typed in flat look at this how do you stumble on that no i don't because i watch um bunion stuff like bunion massage like when my feet hurt i love watching foot massage videos and then i am so into i follow this guy you guys gotta follow him he has millions of followers i think or maybe hundreds of thousands but he's very popular and he does painful massages oh my god he's so good hold on he's one of my sub well remember we would get the

the foot massage and they would when they would dig in and they knew you were hurt they would look up at you and smile oh my god like these listen to these people crying out it sounded like a disney movie it's called next stage injury so he the the ironic thing is it looks like he's giving them injury but he just i used when i had dancing with the stars tendinitis this guy would dig into my foot in a way that would hurt so fucking much but so good and if you got through the pain you just felt like so accomplished like it's all of my like sex fetishes too of like you you're pushed to your limit and i just like i love pain i love it what about foot play like a guy sucking on the toe no i want them to rub my feet like painfully while we fuck while you fuck yeah that'd be pretty cool

oh you've never done that why You gotta ask for it I guess No because My ex-boyfriend Didn't really like my feet He was kind of like He wasn't like Sexually attracted to my feet Which is like

A choice But I think I need My ex-partner to like Be into some foot shit You got pretty long legs So it might be hard For this Yeah what

What position would you be in Missionary Okay like Like on my back like this She's doing it right now folks they're doing that with my foot like while they're holding my feet you know while they thrust back yeah yeah that could work that might be a lot for one person or just fuck her at a foot spa or just get a get a couple guys get three guys no the thing is that's when you bring in

machinery because you like it is it is listen machinery calorie yeah listen whether or not he's there he's there in my mind when this is all happening let's he's always in whatever i'm having kelly should be the name of a vibrator oh my god yes and then uh yeah or a sex robot that i would definitely purchase or just date her machine gun kelly if you're listening no don't you don't say that. I'm just throwing it out there. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how these things happen.

That's not manifestation to just have a co-host beg someone who is in a relationship. God, you really fucked up my whole... I'm doing the secret on this guy, and you really just threw a wrench in things. Hey, I'm yelling from a low top. I don't even know what that means. It means a mountaintop would probably be the biggest podcast on earth.

I was thinking of a shoe. I was going opposite. I knew you were doing a joke, so I guess high top was the opposite of that. I guess you yell things from a high top. A mountaintop would be the opposite. So a valley. A valley would have been better i went low top um chop chop chop chop uh how'd you sleep last night uh i

i don't know how oh i slept great because i was very very tired yesterday a lot of time in the sun by the way i shot at 95 for the people that were wondering out there didn't play great but i hit enough good shots where i wasn't embarrassing you were saying yesterday that in the late 80s is good then a 95 is great no no no no lower is better 72 is oh yeah i forgot you made me feel good though like you almost made me like wait maybe i am wrong no no i was wrong and you were right it was worse um all right this is something that i forgot to tell you that we played our lacquer with yes so you introduced our lacquer yeah i was setting up andrew for all his classic stories at the dinner with joe buck i i always set you up do you not do you notice that of course okay good i just want to i try to set you up too i think it's a setting i don't know

that you set me up that much i think not for the stuff i want to talk about i'm like i don't want to go into that what do you want to talk about always sex yeah well i said you gnaw on the bone i don't remember that you don't remember that and then you go give me a bowl of bone marrow or whatever i go yeah just give me a bowl of bone marrow or whatever yeah just give me a bowl of marrow because yeah you know whenever i dine with people who are uh especially at a steakhouse you're like you want a big yeah they always go like and nikki will take the head of the pig you know they always make the most like obvious like no offense to joe buck but he just said something because he was just like which is nice because he's acknowledging

like i am out of my comfort zone and uh and i yeah we you said i'll just gnaw on the bone i didn't think that was sexual and i don't honestly i don't need you to set me up for sexual stories i just bring them up when i feel there is an in what about when i said right before the appetizer nikki's so wet you don't remember that no i think i was in the bathroom when you told the table that hey just so you guys know like before the apps come nik Nikki gets really wet. That would be so fucking funny and weird. It would be weird.

Let's get to the news. The news, apparently. You heard it here first. You want to do it again? Oh, really? Yeah, Tuesday really yeah guys i'm so excited uh for the news today hope you're having a great time out there and hope you as always are having all of the swells oh man thanks for setting me up there nick okay of course the internet hates a 23 year old man named karan and his 60 year old girlfriend Cheryl after sharing a relationship on TikTok

Quran is 23 she's 60 years old 37 year gap people finding it disgusting it's also a a black guy and a white woman so I don't know if that adds to it the flame but yeah people are called really making fun of Cheryl here

okay uh well that's that's to be expected she is a older woman the flame but yeah people are really making fun of Cheryl here okay well that's to be expected she is a older woman older white woman long brown hair she's dressing very youthfully but she definitely has like a old woman's face

like from a possibly like a horror film and I'm saying that in the nicest way this is an older woman without makeup i also look like a horror show sometimes when i don't have makeup on and just have like like this woman is just herself and she's an older woman that's what you look like when you get old love it but she's wearing like a youthful top and she's dating a fucking hunky young dude good for her 37 years her junior this would not be a story if it was the other way around however i i'm not someone who likes to play that card of like if it were the other way

we wouldn't be talking about it because they use that against us as well and the double standard thing listen this is just the way it goes um and i he looks very content and happy he knows what he's doing he's a adult man i love it yeah usually with this you don't like destroy the man as much as like when it's a woman and an older man it's usually like oh the guy must have so much money like it's not that you actually i guess they go after his looks too i mean that ann and nicole smith remember that guy she married i mean that guy that was wild that was i mean that guy never he looked like. I mean, that guy. That was wild. That was. I mean, that guy never.

He looked like. But he was a billionaire. You know what he looked like? I was just thinking, who did he look like? That was a similar looking person. The Prince Philip. Same look. Isn't it interesting?

Money. Eventually, no matter how much money you have. Nothing's going to keep you from looking like that. We're all headed that way. If you last long enough, you were just a person in a wheelchair like oh like it's just you can't not be it's you ever see when people like take photos of like the last like month or two of their grandparents yeah i see it all the time on reddit last images it's crazy that's something you search no it's just a great it's i just like it because it honors people

who have died but it's people sharing photos the last photo taken of a person that lived and i think it's just kind of i don't think it's creepy there's something like sweet about it and then you read about like and it's oftentimes really like a person looking literally they're worse and i'm like can we maybe i like it when it like, this is a girl on her prom night and it's a 17 year old girl with like such life. Like, I don't know that I like that, but that there's a morbidity to it that just soothes me in some way.

But when it's just an old person looking like shit, I'm like, I mean, I have a joke about this. The best part of dying young is that people circulate young pictures of you when you die. But when, cause they always show how you look. The most circulated pictures are the one of how you looked when you died like the most recent and it's usually an oh this is why we definitely need video because this is unbelievable do you think

of you make a picture well you had the uh you had your joke in the special about uh a hot girl standing like in a little bathing suit next to their mom who's about to die and then kim kardashian did that that's right you still haven't posted that you have to i just reminded you so this is a reminder i signed you up yeah uh kim kardashian literally posed in a bikini next to it and it was like and i called it out on my special i mean it's not the most original joke of like hot girls trying to look hot next to sad things but it was like i gave a very specific like and uh you're in a bikini like let's get to the what do i say the dialysis tent at coachella

i'm like come on grandma dialysis grandma grandma and that's all based from lady gaga's documentary where she five foot one or whatever where she was bragging about how tiny she is and um uh that i'm sure that's not why she named it that but it is i'm a little jealous of when someone's like i'm little but i do but i love gaga if you're standing next to you Like your really old grandma Do you think that You should dress sexier Or you think you have A responsibility to dress Also like an old Be yourself

Yeah So I don't mind girls Being in a bikini But it's hilarious To be in a bikini Next to your grandma Why is your grandma In a pool party

A situation where I want my grandma In a little one piece And then me fully In a tuxedo I want grandma naked I love sexy grandmas though Hannah Burner has a sexy grandma.

Dude, my grandma is still banging in the nursing home. She's 100 years old. I can't believe you. I told you she banged the guy. They both have dementia, so they both forget about it, but he's married still. Oh my God, it's like the first time every time. That's like 50 first dates, but on both sides. Is that 100?

No, it's like eternal sunshine where they keep meeting like over and over they can it's so hot catch across the room but not really because they have cataracts but so they would they have one night stands every single time that's hot it really is but but you can't build on it or do you think every once in a while they're like wait i think i fucked this before something about this feels wrong yeah they're not i don't know that that's the case i don't know i don't understand dementia but i and i won't and someday i'll probably have it because we all probably yeah i probably will have it my grandma my grandma uh not looking forward to that i'll

tell you that the last two guys she she's banged to death she's like a black widow if you have sex with my grandma you're gonna die within three years now granted a lot of these guys were yeah you know but but why don't you try to do it oh no it's it's drier drier ghost coming it sounds like you guys are getting your feet massaged Oh yeah that is true With flat feet Oh my god But my grandma She would She'd bang these guys My grandpa died He had a white mustache

That she made him grow Because she liked A white mustache And then Five months after My grandpa died This guy gets out Of a Honda Accord

Or whatever And he has a white mustache And aviators He looks exactly She just found another She just replaces him Like an assembly line Damn Would you want to Fuck a guy Or would you want He looks exactly. She just found another. She just replaces him like, like a assembly line.

Damn. Would you want to fuck a guy or would you want to date a guy that looked exactly like your ex? Yes. Yeah, definitely. Like my, um,

like my, yeah, I have a type, you know, like if I was, if I somehow, you don't want the opposite. You want to,

you know, I'm open to different different but like it makes it for me as someone who's so scared to be with people new people if they look if they resemble enough of someone i've been with already it makes me feel a lot more relaxed it's kind of like when you buy a dog of the same breed again yeah you're like oh this is just uh i don't want them to be but i think i'm just attracted to the same quality so if i the person i marry probably i'm attracted to things about him physically that i'll be attracted to again what are your top three physical things you look forward to man um that's hard i guess i mean i don't i a good smile okay a good like smiles a lot good smile um and then like eyes lips

just having eyes what color eyes do you i don't care about color just like not like too like intense like they don't stare too much oh no the old bug eyes like not like they just don't want like intense eyes they like kind of creep me out. But I could be attracted to literally anything. I guess I like. It's hard to soften up a hard eye. I mean, the thing is, if I have like if I feel the fucking heat from someone and like they just have a confidence to themselves or like just there's something about them that I'm like, you don't seem to be impressed by me and I'm going to win you over

and that's what I look for is a person that doesn't seem to need me or care much for me but I know that I can get but they do it with a smile yeah but they're fun they're fun and charming like I like a little bit of a challenge but it's usually someone the ones I like are the ones that I feel a vibe with and I know that they feel it and they're just gonna try to fight it and I'm like no I'm going I'm going it I'm gonna get you and you know they feel it and they're just going to try to fight it. And I'm like, no, I'm going, I'm going to, I'm going to get you and you know, you like it and we're going to do this. I sometimes feel like you'll say to me, like, I don't know if he's into me. I'm like, that guy's definitely into you.

And part of it is, do you tell yourself that? So then you're trying to win them over. So it's like hotter for you. Even if you think, cause I'll notice, you know what I mean? Does that make sense though? No, but I'll tell you, I've, I've asked people who I've done this with. even if you think no no i really don't you know what i mean does that make sense though no but i'll tell you i've i've asked people who i've done this with like when did you know when did you like they always are like i would have i was attracted to you the first time i saw a clip of you on the

thing i wanted to have sex with you but it's never like they never uh they never think it's gonna happen they never they're never they they never think it's gonna happen they never they're never they're never like actively pursuing it because they think it's just an impossibility until i make it happen they're always like oh no i would have never made a move i would have never done anything yeah but that and that's where i go like why not why do i always have to be the one to do it why am i not obvious enough how could it how can i not be being obvious i think it's like seeping out of my pores that i like this person and then i finally tell them i like them because i get so fed up and then i go didn't when did you like start liking me and they're like never because i wouldn't i didn't

think i had you know that they never see it yeah you're like uh like mannequin and we're in a movie mannequin when the mannequin comes to life that's like they see you on tv or if they see you on you know whatever on the internet like and then you come to life it's like whoa see you on tv or if they see you on you know whatever on the internet like and then you come to life it's like whoa like what is like like i remember the first time i met you like literally the first time i met you if you see someone enough on tv or whatever there's like an aura around you where you put it on them yeah yeah yeah and it and it takes a very long time to like i don't know it's weird yeah, I've felt it before with people. But I don't think it's that.

I mean, these are people that I meet, they don't know me from TV or whatever. Like they've maybe seen a picture of me on something, you know. And that's what I say when they're like, when did you first want to fuck me? Like I always love to hear about that. I like to hear about like the crush, how it developed. And they're like, I don't know when I googled you or what i'm like okay that's not romantic next story all right this next story is there are five red flags that tell you when you're in a toxic relationship do you want to guess them or you want me to get some lying

all right constantly seeking approval and or acceptance from the partner and mistaking it for love. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, that's just like, yeah, just, well, that, I think it's all, if you are not being yourself or you are like worrying about how your partner might react to something and trying to control their reaction,

there we go. That's the sign of a bad relationship and I bet it will be in all of these that kind of thing um affection is given or withheld as reward or punishment i have goosebumps and i can't i'm so like triggered by that the withholding of affection can you imagine being someone that like wants about to hug you, right? Or about to kiss you and they go, that'll be, oh no, no, that'll be too nice for them. Like, like they stopped themselves.

That's wild to me. It happened. It's happened to me. Yeah. As someone who did it, it's not even that. It's just like ignoring or like just not being loving and like, you know, just like, yeah. And it's like, you can't help, but like you are disgusted by them.

Like you can't, you can't, you can't be nice to them. yeah and it's like you can't help but like you are disgusted by them like you can't you can't you can't be nice to them you it's impossible like my ex-boyfriend I he he wouldn't he would he would shut down physically if he was uh upset with me and he could not help it and he would tell me he was like I can't help it and I didn't want him to like hug me just like insincerely. So that wouldn't have been good. So I would just have to wait until this like, you know, this anger had lifted and that he wanted to touch me again. And it just sucks.

It sucks. When you were angry at him, would you still want to have sex? Yes. Yeah. Well, I just want to make up. I'd want to get to the root of it so we could get over it and get to making up and understanding each other. But he needed needed he did not

want to talk about things right away he needed to like process them and he wasn't and if we did talk about things right away i would just be like good we're good again yeah he would just really need a lot of cooling off time still after and i'd be like i'm still being punished after i apologize but people just heal at different speeds and i need someone who's like all right let's address this let's turn it around back to normal i know it's a little awkward but like let's just there's also something too probably like oh uh you know i said i'm sorry i also had sex with you and you're still mad like like it adds another oh my god i mean that is i mean i've tried to win over guys with sex and get out of fights like when a guy is being

upset with me and eventually they can't they their horniness gives in and then they fuck you and then they're still mad at you but now they don't want to fuck you and they're drained of their semen yeah you you have this false sense of their forgiveness because they've got horny for you and touched you and fucked you and maybe the sex was a little bit more yeah i don't know uh if they were a little bit angrier during the sex than usual but listen that's fine why do you have a gun yeah yeah yeah no i i yeah i think when i'm when i'm angry i'm not i get very very unhorny like i'm not talking days though dude if you're in a relationship where you're living with someone yeah but you've never lived with someone that you are fucking uh for

days where you're sleeping in the same bed and they're just rolling over horny and oh yeah that's true you will want to fuck the person that you haven't had the talk with about whatever is making each other mad think about it yeah no for sure i mean do you ever like turn your back on someone with that that move where you know no i if he? No, if someone ever wanted to fuck me, I was always down. And I'm not saying like I'm a perfect girl, but like I am a little bit of a sex addict in a relationship. And so I was always down or at least would, if I wasn't, I'd be like, I'm really tired and you're just going to have to like literally just like

call me like a log. Like I can't contribute, but I don't mind you being inside me, but I'm literally going to lay hair. But I'm always down to be penetrated and uh but but i never had sex that should be the name of your special always down to be penetrated no then i'll have to stop doing meet and greets they're like but your book you'll get some meat all right all right okay why are both people in the relationship uh keep score of who did what and whom? Oh, no, for whom. And emotional manipulation frequently occurs to even the score.

Yeah, I did this. You should do that. That makes sense. All right. Well, what are the other ones? These are all. Okay, the relationship feels like emotional roller coaster. I mean, if any of these, even one of these off the list try to fix it because

obviously there's something worth being in the relationship about but you gotta remedy it or it's gonna kill your relationship I mean you can't have this shit going on and you feel isolated from loved ones or friends yeah what you do is you go I this is an issue this is a sign of a toxic

relationship you do this thing to me we're not good at handling it this way if we don't both act i'm ready to actively work on it not happening anymore because i don't want to be in a relationship where this happens it's a toxic relationship sign of a toxic relationship so we have to address it if we're going to stay together and i want to stay together and if that person does not take the steps with you to to conquer that issue but but but bye and you can leave feeling good because you gave him a goddamn ultimatum of i want to work on this we need to work on this i respect myself enough enough to not be in a relationship that has this thing going on and then the person if they want to keep you

will do the minimal effort which is all you ask of working towards making it better noah i got a quick question okay go ahead yeah wait i my hand, so I would like to ask my question, please. Of course. I didn't, I'm sorry. What do you think about personal accountability, though? Do you think that each person has to contribute something in working on themselves before they can approach the relationship?

Or is it just honing in on the relationship has to be on the relationship? Is there any type of personal accountability? I don't know, but and I really don't understand your question. But let me just say this, that I do think that you can enter into a relationship with someone who has never worked on themselves. Or if you're finding yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't do anything to work on themselves, they don't meditate, they don't read books, they don't, they're not interested

in something that is actually going to better them and make them a better person. That's, that's okay that you're in a relationship with that kind of person. But you need to make it clear that you will not continue to be because it's you are someone that works on yourself. So you need a person. Actually, you don't need to do the same amount of effort, but you need we need to be on a trajectory of growth. And you playing video games all day is not leading you anywhere. And I think to your point, like I think you could work on yourself

while being in a relationship. I think a lot of times there are people like, no, I'm taking time to myself. No, you could take time to yourself while also being with someone. Absolutely. Did that answer it?

No, I'm sorry. That wasn't clear. I think accountability of like, you just think, not about the relationship yeah you should work on yourself because guess what your partner might die and you need to be your own person relationships the other person does not complete you they could go away tomorrow they could die tomorrow and then who are you are you gonna die tomorrow the next day if that's the case that's

kind of sad you the best relationship is my old abusive therapist used to say the best relationship is one that you could live with or without and i love that because you can live without it means you are a whole person yeah and it's not a lot of times too is like if it's like a financial thing too uh like the article whatever i read the article that it that you need to set money aside you need to set yourself up for if it if you want to leave you know what i mean a lot of people stay within relationships because of financial reasons not just because of emotional reasons so emotionally and financial you just need to if you are going to leave have a plan of action to get out it's like leaving a job before you have another job it's like you should you don't need another guy

out there but you just need to be able to be sustainable i don't think it's a problem to put the flirt feelers out there if you're with someone that you want to leave and just to see just to give yourself a little validation that yeah okay i can find someone else yeah i'm i've needed that before because sometimes an abusive relationship you think you're shit and no one else will ever love you because that's part of the abuse is convincing you of that even if they don't say it things they do convince you that you're you're hard to deal with and i'm the only one who'll ever love you so you need to maybe go out and get validation that yeah i can get or that they're right yeah you just find out right you're like yeah i put my feelers out there and i'm gonna stay here you're better off alone than

someone who wants to make you feel that way. I believe that. What do you think? I do have like, so the last one was you feel isolated from loved ones or friends as if nobody understands the relationship the way you do. Like, you know, when like outside people are like. Yeah, we all said, you don't know him like I do when we're alone. It's like this. Yeah.

So how, one, as a friend, how would you approach a friend that was in a toxic relationship in a way where like because it's so scary because you could lose that friendship like i don't like the way he treats you so i am not going to be around you both together anymore so if you want to hang out with me it's not going to be with him and push that put so much pressure on no it doesn't it just it says it says i'm not gonna be mad at you if you're with him but i don't enjoy seeing my friend being treated the way she is in this relationship and i don't like seeing how you the way you are with him it's not fun for me so i'm gonna remove myself and what that will do is give you good boundaries with your friend and make you be able to say something honest and it will allow your friend to see that there are consequences to saying with

someone who's going to abuse them they're going to lose people who actually care about them and it might give them a great example of like wow this friend who loves me so much is saying like it's so bad she can't hang out with us all right maybe i'll look into this and see it a little bit clearer i'm just i would just be scared that that would push them to the person more because now they don't even have me to lean on that That might happen. But that's also the same thing of intervention. When people are so scared to tell drug addicts or any kind of addicts, like, I'm not going to be in your life anymore if you don't stop this drug. And they go, well, that's going to make them start going to,

like, being a prostitute to get money because I'm not going to give them money anymore. And it's like, push them to the bottom. If it's, you know, you have, they're never, they're going to die through your money. Because if you're kind of there for them, they're just never going to. They're always, yes, it's called enabling and it's really hard to pull away. But that's, if you are hanging out with your girlfriend who's in an abusive relationship with the guy and you're putting up with it and allowing it to happen by being there and hanging out with them you're you're aiding and abetting yeah also if you're if a friend sees something that you don't you you can be so close to something where you don't see it it's with anything and everyone knows the friend who's going to choose the boy over the girl like you know that friend but guess what you chose

yourself over watching your friend get abused and that's like it's all about self-respect in the end all right why do i care and leading by example you'd want your friend to abused. And that's like, it's all about self-respect in the end. All right. Why do I care? And leading by example, you'd want your friend to do the same to you. Why do I care? Oh my God, I nailed it.

Post Malone drops 1.6 million on a full ceramic dental restoration, including two diamond fangs weighing 12 carats. I mean, I like Post Malone a lot. I watch interviews of him. He seems to have a really good heart. He was really fucked up when he decided to do this, I'm guessing. And he was just like, fuck it. And the money was probably just that he looked at...

I don't know about that because it took them like three months to design this thing i'm saying when he put it into action and then he continued being fucked up i think and every time he worked on it he probably had to fucking like get lit up because like before those zoom calls he's like let's just throw back a couple because the idea of i'm spending 1.6 million dollars on a fucking mouth implant um is i mean these are just disgusting uses of wealth but but i do it on a a much smaller scale with dumb stuff spending oh for sure for sure i mean look do do whatever you want to do i just like the fangs are they're not going to fit someone

else i guess you could you could melt it down and sell it like he could probably sell it for 500 grand if he wanted to get rid of it i mean it's like art it's actually wearable art so i mean it's it's just as dumb as spending any amount of money on something that doesn't like help the world invisalign i mean i've spent six thousand dollars on invisalign it's like more at this point a billionaire spends money to go to space it's like why don't we work on this little earth here but you think earth is gonna end so might as well make mars better but still yeah yeah it's on its way out i mean every single day is so fucking the richest smartest people are like i cannot believe that i'm hearing like kickoff to summer i'm like wait what i keep thinking it's

like august i swear to god i can't believe summer just began and it was because we were in the cayman islands for most of the dirty, dirty spring. Dirty, dirty spring or winter? It was like winter spring. Oh, okay. The early spring, it was where it was still cold and shit. We missed the winter spring, but we were there for a significant part of winter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I can't believe it's our- I mean, it was 95 degrees the other day. We couldn't be outside. It's disgusting, and things are about to get scary. Let's do a Reddit dump. All right. So do you care about Post Malone's mouth? No, not at all. It's just, you know. Finally, we found one.

I know you like him. I know. Yeah, I really don't care. I can't even pretend to be interested. Yes. Okay, so I'm going to my saved files i didn't know it was i didn't even know no it really wasn't a thing um okay so i was on reddit last night and i saved this one it's in the the reddit where they talk about the show veep okay and uh so it's a subreddit

r slash veep and this was posted it's she goes i hate that i'm attracted to dan he is such a shit really a garbage human being but i find him so attractive and yes the actor himself is attractive but it's his character too so uh big yikes on my part i could have written that i am so horny for the damn character like talk about who what i'm attracted to that smile brown hair he is a garb he's horrible but he's so charming and you just i want i literally i used to i love how you could say masturbate to what well my buddy has you know whatever you hear it often like reed scott plays him and reed scott's like a good person and it's right like i looked into the interviews with the actor to be like can i get off to this not gonna do it for me i need him to be that character but it's funny like you can in that

sentence you go he's so charming he's so essentially he's a horrible person but so charming because a good looking guy can be an asshole and could be charming somehow. But if he was ugly, he wouldn't be charming. It's totally true. Someone else said, yeah, I had to do some serious introspection during my first watch. I was like, why am I so attracted to this toxic shit? But I just can't help it. What is it?

What is it? I mean, honestly, it was embarrassing. I was into fan fiction, like erotic fan fiction about him and amy because when he there's a scene where he is so adorable with amy is like wanting to like she's probably uh possibly like pregnant with his child and she thinks they're gonna like and he starts dating her doctor yeah i mean he's her abortion doctor i mean it's crazy what a horrible person this guy is but then oh my god but there's just the scene where they interact and there's sexual tension and it's like i've watched it so many times i don't and then like you know leonardo di caprio and that the departed he's just like a little

like piece of shit like but not as much as like a guy being showing vulnerability when he's like a uh i don't know what it is but you can't be vulnerable all the time you can't be vulnerable every day that's not hot the thing is you know what i like about it here here's what i'm gonna say i i like a guy that is so obsessed with his career like very driven and like knows what he wants but i know that my sexuality could uh derail them and like i could i could the challenge of that guy wanting to fuck me so bad that he like is not as powerful or like it's kind of thrown off is so hot and i do feel like i could seduce that dan character well i feel like it would be the same way with someone that was attracted to you because you're so obsessed with your career that

if they can get that give you the cock what do you oh that you're looking for i'm looking for the myself yeah essentially as someone who like uh is a challenge and uh is it doesn't get thrown off very easily with a good smile nice aura yeah maybe that's it i don't know it's just so hot i yeah i love i i just felt so seen in that okay next one sorry i got distracted i like got yeah i think you were envisioning dan over there oh god i was okay so this one is really good this girl makes mimicking animal sounds this was hot on reddit for a while this is a next fucking level the subreddit next fucking level it's one of my faves uh this is a girl making

peacock Peacock Horse Okay The good thing about this is the video Because the girl is so cute And she laughs between each one And she just like pulls him out of nowhere You gotta kind of see the video

Do you do any animal Yeah I was gonna say I'm scared of your dog Because it's so loud Everyone brace their ears It It's so loud. Do you want a big dog or a little dog? The big dog is so loud. I'm serious. I'll just put the mic away. I'll just put the mic away.

Put the mic far. Don't do it directly into it. It's even too loud in the room, Andrew. It's too loud. So that's my dog. We're going to get rid of him. That's a good dog. It's a really good dog. That's why I wanted you to do it. What can you do? I can do a few different. I can do animals better than humans.

Really? Yeah. Like what's another one? Chicken. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Can you do any, Noah? I can do a cat purr.

Okay. Whoa. Dude, that'sr. Okay. Whoa. Dude, that's ASMR. That's cool. I can't do that. I can't do any, like... You can maybe do it with your vagina. Just a queef that's like, had a long day.

Put his suitcase down. What's for dinner wait what can you do you gotta do you you've never done a horse i mean i think i was i'm good at people impersonations but i'm not good at animal i don't know of any animal maybe my my uh parakeet kiwi we used to be like that's good what about cat like a yeah that's great i don't know uh bird wait what other animals are there i feel like i just don't care about animal sounds that much that often okay this one was this one this is this is in the subreddit oh there's a dying dog in the corner uh this is off true off my chest this is where people just like get something off their chest she said i finally told my husband he stinks i finally told my husband the reason i don't like going down on him is because he stinks he was so mad and threw it back in my face that sometimes

i stink i reminded him i'm not shoving my genitals in his face when i stink i don't like doing anything sexual until i've had a chance to shower he slept downstairs on the couch last night and i feel liberated i guess my next step is to tell him his breath is atrocious and he needs to do something about it we'll see how that goes i fucking love this lady she's done this dude is done she's like disgusted with him to the point where she's like fuck you like i love the point and this guy sucks to like like do the thing you stink too this guy leave him oh awful he could have handled it depends how she went at him the first time i agree but if she was like hey do you mind just you know maybe washing your ass a little bit before i blow you yeah wash your ass don't fucking throw it back at her yeah i mean yeah mean, yeah, so I don't know.

Yeah, it's uncomfortable to tell someone they stink, but you got to do it. Okay, here's one that I loved. This is in meditation. This is another one of those tricks that instantly calms you down. It's a simple trick to calm down the overthinking mind in seconds.

This works well before meditation or when your thoughts get overwhelming in the day-to-day life. So all you need to do is this. Close your eyes. Okay, let's do it. Close your eyes. Focus on your eyeballs and don't let your eyes move as you focus on your eyeballs.

Close your eyes. Focus on your eyeballs and don't let your eyes move as you focus on the eyeballs. Do you feel it? I can. I can feel them. But I can feel them really moving a lot wait let me just do it right now because i was reading it so i wasn't doing it i feel them like vibrant i could see your eyeballs moving under your eyelids but i'm trying not to move it it's not about not moving them but it's like trying not to and it makes you someone said it probably

activates your like sympathetic nerve system or something like it it really is awesome let's let's move into final thought this is in the subreddit dating underscore advice why period are period they period all period into hiking there's no period in between no entire i don't like hiking i don't like camping or climbing or sleeping in tents my ex was into it and him constantly dragging me on trips I didn't actually want to go on really negatively affected this relationship and he made no real effort to get invested in what I liked I finally feel more ready to try serious dating again but I feel like so many times I see a guy on an app then I swipe around his pictures and lo and behold another hiker I feel the same towards being really into sports or hardcore parties but not not to the same degree i am a cozy indoor bitch okay i like cuddling indoors watching movies and slow-paced city-based

trips i don't want to sweatily look at trees like strolling around the city and absorbing cultural and historical sites i like restaurants and bars where i can dress up i would happily play board games with a drink and a delicious food listen to music blah blah she goes on um i relate to not all of it but you know i do not want to hike i'm once a year i'll go on a hike with you but it's not i just feel like there's a difference fucking hike there's a difference between a hike where it's like 10 minutes outside the city and you're just like you go up a hill no and then there's a hike where a guy brings a tent and he's wearing timberlands and he's like hey we're gonna live off the land.

No, no, no. Let me say this. I don't want to do the 10 minute one. You don't want to do the 10 minute one. I get that. But I'm just saying,

yeah, we don't want to do any of it. So a lot of what she wrote was noise. Like the signal in what she wrote is that the guy didn't want to do what she likes to do. I think that was the root of the problem. And I think like I used to hate being outdoors, bugs, all that stuff.

Went camping. Now I really enjoy it. I think there is the possibility to enjoy it if it's with the right person. Okay, I will... I see what you're saying. So if I enjoyed watching a chick flick, cuddling on the couch, or whatever,

like, whatever, having a drink, playing drink playing monopoly then maybe she'll like hiking more because i went out of my way to like what she likes that's what you do in a relationship it's compromise yes you're right that that could have been the the problem what would a guy have to do for you where you could enjoy a hike listen i would not much fuck me regularly try kinky stuff that they're probably not into rub my foot while you fuck me even though you're not in defeat like i will i'll i'll want to hike you'll start rock climbing fuck me outside on the hike like let's do some freaky like make it sexual yes make the hike sexual and i'll do anything i'll do anything if like there's a like something horny at the end of it or like we'll do something a little bit like risque uh yeah i'll go on road

trips if like the road trip my ex-boyfriend i went on he like fingered me for a long part of it like while driving yeah like or i would like he had he had a plug set up for the wand so we i could just like come a bunch next to him. And I'm all strapped in with the seatbelt. And I'm just on the dash just like this. It was so fun. And he's just doing this. Just holding it.

So there we go. Yeah. And we saw Mount Rushmore that day. And we went to a museum. I literally will do these things if there's uh if there's i don't know you could hook it up to a car uh thing that's pretty cool i guess so yeah of course like he just would um engineer things that were interesting that uh yeah facilitated some fun stuff i mean that's definitely um yeah that's a way to get me hiking i never even thought about that before but that's not

to say that i want to go on a first date and have the guy like rape me in the woods like how about we don't do that and don't even try to kiss if i go on a hike with you on a first date first of all i'm not being honest with myself because i wouldn't i don't want to do that but uh please don't try anything sexual with me i just i'm so scared of dates that anyone because you hear this and you're like wow she's a kinky bitch i'm gonna like put some moves on this girl i will seriously run away in fear if you try to do anything like too sexual with me most of these hikes where you go on a date there's way too many people to to do anything sexually really unless you sneak off and i don't want to sneak off and get a tick i don't know or get attacked by i'm not saying we have to blow each other right off the hike that children are walking by i'm saying you sit on a

bench to look at the sights and you put a finger down my hand down my pants and no one can see like just weird stuff like i got fingered on um uh magic mountain at disney world on a log flume wow very fear no no no i think i like gave a handjob on a log flume um at six flags no like just weird just stuff that you just uh oh yeah fear oh my god sexiest scene ever um yeah so like i i like that stuff i like like taking chances have you given roadhead yes what a million times i haven't been about it that you clearly haven't seen because i talk about a fun game to play when you give rodan what do you say no you try to guess where he's driving like if you know the area oh you guess what street it's on when you when he finishes you like you

before you go up you try to guess where you are it gives you something to do when you're down there you're like okay he's making a right turn okay like you try to guess the distance like based on the speed yeah the car's going it's like a blind like it's fun i love that that's so funny oh when you do it are you pretty right on i mean i guess so right like no i think no it's like when you close when you close your eyes and someone say that as an example yeah traces up your forearm And then you try to guess When it's at the point Of your The hinge of your arm

Yeah Dude that was the best Or writing words On someone's back God I love that Oh my god That was so good Just

It's a pretty easy game If you do Not I think we all Just wanted to be touched As children Like in like Gentle ways

And so we would Just have our friends Like will you just like Rub your finger Up my forearm And then we made games Just so we could just have our friends like you just like rub your finger up my forearm and then we made games just so we could like kind of touch so true crack an egg on my head let the yolk drip down let the yolk drip down it's like stab a knife in my back let the blood run down let the blood run down let the blood put a cock in my ass yeah get away from me counselor yeah that third part of that it was a little extreme all

right we have to go because i have to go put on makeup and do another thing before i hop on now i have to do a uh it's a confusing thing but i have to put on makeup and get interviewed for a half hour and then i have to go and i have to pack and i have to go to la and i have two shows tonight in a week i know we're gonna i'm gonna be doing the show remotely from la all this week uh because i'm doing bill maher on friday save the date uh make sure you watch real time with bill maher on friday i'm gonna be in the first part of the show it's so exciting um i'm gonna be talking about i'm not scared to do it anymore the producer heard me say how scared i was on last week's episode and she was like i talked to her yesterday and she was like let me let you know that you are in good hands i'm like i know i literally would just i was on the last week's episode and she was like i talked to her yesterday and she was like let me let you know that you are in good hands i'm like i know i literally would just i

was listening to the show yesterday it's because your dad might love it so much so it makes you a little bit more i invited my dad my dad's going my parents are going to la i'm not into no no no that's not it at all it's just like i think he's i just don't know i just know i'm stupid about anything like i don't want if as long as you're honest about that yeah that's, I just don't know. I just know I'm stupid about anything. Like I don't want, if. As long as you're honest about that. Yeah, that's what I just am. I'm not, I haven't gotten to this point by lying to anyone about my political acumen.

So if they want me to do something that I'm not comfortable with, like I can just be honest, but they won't. They know what I'm there for. And they're not dumb to ask me. I deserve to be on the show and I'm going to have fun with it and be a good guest. The beautiful thing is, is millions of other people don't give a fuck about politics we just hear about the ones

i know but i'm just saying like people that watch that show think they always go i could do it yes they think they could even though they they could never um i'm gonna go i love you for listening thank you guys see you tomorrow on the show and uh Jack. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have

racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it.

For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast.

And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party,

your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production

in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday,

we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.