The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #501 Tone Shift After The Globes, Movie Tropes Not Approved & Nikki-A Filmmaker?

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

After the Golden Globes, everything in LA just shifted... Nikki and Brian are here to unpack it all. Nikki's finally seen Whiplash (yes, Brian's all-time fave), and it's got her thinking about her own movie dreams. As she contemplates what kind of film she'd like to create, they dive deep into all the clichés and tropes that DEFINITELY won’t make the cut. Sometimes, figuring out what you don’t want is the best place to start, right? Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram: @NikkiGlaserPod Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Thanks for letting us put out one per week the past couple weeks, listeners. We really appreciate it. But now we're back for two. Yeah, it's been a while since we've been remote. It really has. It's been months. I mean, there's a little bit of a delay. So I was watching you snap your fingers to the beat of the music and it just looked like you had no rhythm at all uh that's something i actually i feel like i don't have good rhythm because i like i i think i talked about on the podcast before but when chris and i a year ago were really into guitar hero there's like you set your guitars you have to calibrate them and you have to

be like do a strum each time the circle gets on the other circle and you have to do it and chris was like laughing really hard because i was just could not do it right and couldn't do a beat and i was really nervous and then i watched whiplash over the weekend first time i ever saw that this weekend yeah oh my god that's one of my favorite movies um top five great taste it's so good it's so good i got really mad oh my god whoa i just had a moment where i realized something's imagery in it or like a meaning in that i got can we spoiler alert whiplash for people who haven't seen it we just like one minute 14 so it's been 10 years i think that's a statute yeah okay so you can skip ahead one minute i'm only gonna talk about one minute okay ready set

go okay first of all there's some symbolism chris did not chris knows i hate jump scares and i do not like when he got hit by that car and i said why didn't you tell me and he said i forgot about it and i go how would you forget about that it's a massive part of it it's like the least traumatizing thing to happen in the movie oh i hated it you're you're right it really is but it i just like hate things that come out of nowhere i don't like meet joe black when he gets hit by that car i don't think that's a spoiler because i've never even seen the movie i've just seen that clip i don't even like when there's someone in an elevator i'm about to get into can you just give like a quick summary of this movie for people who don't want to fast forward and don't want to watch miles teller is going to the best music academy in the world um in new york it's like a made-up one jk simmons is the

leader of like is the um maestro for the jazz band that is like the best jazz band of all the you know college students like grad students i think even in the country miles teller is like young he um is a drummer and jkK. Simmons is incredibly abusive instructor who screams at everyone, calls them the worst words in the world and belittles them, finds information about them, uses it against them, is just truly physically and mentally abusive to the point where it's just like you just hate him so much. He's like Bella Caroli was to Carrie Strug.

Flannery, you look quite a lot like a leprechaun that was one of his oh that was really funny you do look like and he says he's gonna start calling him no he says he's gonna call him flannery his name is connelly i mean what happened i mean that was also jk simmons like he was already famous obviously but that was truly his big widespread mainstream breakout. He was so good. And he's so ripped in it, too. But Miles Teller is adorable and so good.

It's just so good. So Miles Teller is wanting to be great. And so he earns the respect kind of of J.K. Simmons. But J.K. Simmons will give it and then take it away. He's not to be trusted. He's such a fucking megalomaniac. But he's trying to make them great and one of the things he says sorry it's been more than a minute keep going if you don't

want any spoilers one of the things he says is about char charlie bird or whoever this is amazing jazz musician yeah only got good because someone threw a symbol at his head once during a session and almost like chopped off his head oh wow okay threw a symbol at his head and then that was what made him he said if he never threw that symbol at his head he would have and he just said uh good job do you think he would have become who he became we would have been starved of that genius that he was if someone hadn't pushed him and then miles teller kind of says to him like well do you think it's ever too far and he's like well no because it's never too far because only the greats could survive the what the if it's too far then you're not good enough and the true greats can survive any kind of pressure which is just not true

philosophy trial by fire when the spartans you know if a baby was born in sparta and had like a deformity or a different color eyes or something, they would just throw it off a cliff. What? Yeah, that's what they did. Really? Yes. They had a whole cliff where there was a bunch of dead babies. It's literally what they did. Isn't that what happens in that Midsommar movie? Have you seen that? Yes. Oh, Midsommar with an O? Yeah, Midsommar. I've only read about it. Wait, you've seen it, Noah? No, I didn't see it.

It's one of my favorites. It's so good. It's fucked up, right? Florence Pugh goes to this cult and they throw old people off a ledge. Whoa. Right? Oh, yes, yes.

There's some kind of sacrificial thing. Oh, yeah, the big one. Duh. The sacrifices. Well, it's been a while since I've seen it so the memory had to come back what about have you have you seen hereditary that's the one i only read about and i will never see because it's the number one listed on reddit of any kind of thread that's like what's the most fucked up thing you've ever seen and it's hereditary and then there's this other french film where a bunch of people

get raped in a tunnel and i don't even want to talk about that one, but I just read these synopses. Anyway, Whiplash. I remember the rape part. I just remember the part where they got baguettes. In what? Oh, in France? Yeah. Well, you should see what they do with those baguettes.

Someone got baguette in those tunnels. But Whiplash, though, was so good. The acting is just next level. The drumming, he learned how to drum himself um but i will say at the very i don't even want to give it away if you have to everyone has to see whiplash it's one of the best movies of all time what i will say is that the reason i wanted to watch it is because someone i think was sean or you had said that the ending of challengers was similar to the ending of whiplash yeah and i really okay that must have been you because um i'm very whiplash coded so yeah yeah now i'm learning

it's like i'm so glad that you love it because i loved it so much too and um and yeah the ending that intrigued me because i loved the ending of challengers i like i like an ending to just hit you not like a jump scare but just just it ends and you just gotta make up what happens next and it's like you don't really know. You don't like a denouement. I like a smirk. Instead of someone smiling, like

it all worked out. I like a is it gonna be okay? Like a Mona Lisa smile of like are they even happy about what's happening? It's all kind of inconclusive same era of film did you see birdman i did see birdman and i don't remember anything about it except he flies at the end is that that's the thing the ending is left open-ended because it is it just ends what happens before it like what's it about because i definitely saw about

birdman you sit there and you watch Birdman. You leave the theater. You feel traumatized. You feel like you've been tense. Similar to how Uncut Gems, you like just like felt tense the whole time. Oh, that's why I haven't watched it because everyone just says you're just on edge. No, no. No, thank you. It is interesting because after I saw Birdman for the first time, I walked out of the theater

and there was for some reason some other person there that I knew. So I got to like talk to him about it. And I was like, that was incredible. That was like one of the best movies I've ever seen and yeah if you ask me like today what happened about man like i don't know whereas if you ask me today like what happened in like uh like moana i'll be able to tell you everything that happened i haven't seen moana or moana too i know moana too is being sued for like 250 million dollars because they apparently maybe have stolen the story that's what i read this morning but i will say speaking of michael keaton but michael keaton backstage at the golden globes

emily was filming me talking to harrison ford because i told her to well i told her to just film i just told her to take a picture of me because he was in the background and i didn't want to bother him so i'm like i was supposed to be like on the same level as everyone who's backstage about to present but i didn't want to like linger by any celebrities that were getting ready because i said it last week i didn't want them to like have to say good job to me or whatever even though they did but harrison ford oh i said this he was like lingering and then emily did she did we tell the story that she was filming me and then michael keaton came up behind her no michael keaton was just like roaming around backstage very nice yeah but he came up behind her saw that she was filming harrison ford talking to me and then zoomed in on

her screen to film me and harrison ford oh my gosh and she had no idea who either of these people were she did not know the importance of either but that was so cool that I have a video that Michael Keaton directed of me talking to Harrison Ford. And then the semi comes and hits me. And I really didn't appreciate that part of it. Also, Emily took this amazing picture or video of me that I've never had this before of the moment before it happens but i'm backstage and it's like i'm waiting for to walk on stage and you see me backstage walking and like making that turn to like walk out the first moment and it's really cool for me to like see it from behind and like see i look like really calm i just am staring at the screen waiting for it to say my name and like

i just it's it's just it's so fun to watch and i can't post it though because the fires you can't post anything because the fires uh so i'm waiting to post some stuff i know that i'm not saying that like um like i'm a victim or something please don't take my words wrong but um there's been so much footage i'm sitting on that i'm just like i can't because it's just not the time you'd like sit sit on it until next year. An anniversary post. That's what Emily was saying. For me, I'm sorry.

This is going to sound... I need to preface it with you're being judgmental. A lot of times when I see a year ago I did this amazing thing, I'm like, your life's not going well right now. But no, let's say...

Is that bad? But any one time someone's like the month of bursary i'm like you have nothing to you have nothing going on so you have to like tell us about something that happened that's how i feel i don't even like to brag about something a day ago what like when people post stuff from like when they were in college or like old photos i feel like they're having like a bad self-esteem day for sure and it's like why am i being judgmental if they need that to feel better about themselves of posting a picture when they used to be 20 pounds lighter or have better skin or just had things going on?

Who am I to be like, your life... Because fine, just let it happen. But I don't like to do it because I feel like people are going to say that about me. Really, the only person saying it about me is going to be me. No, I think a lot of people would say it. I mean, that's just the way it is. The internet is filled with monsters. Right, exactly.

But it's a little bit different if it's a year from now and you're maybe about to do the same thing again and you're just posting people as like a ramp up to like remember last year. I think that it's a little different. But if you're like posting like a year ago today, I was still with my wife, that it's a little different but if you're like posting like a year ago today i was still with my wife then it's pretty sad no it's like when p it's just like anything that is i just there's so much i read into on social media and also i i project not

only a lot of insecurity do i project onto people or like judgment but i project a lot of perfection too so i think it balances out like i give people a lot more than they should get sometimes. And I also take away a lot where I go, this is so lame. But who doesn't? And by the way, can I just say this about, like, the fires? I mean, whatever I would say about them has already been said. It's the most tragic thing ever. I can't look at my phone anymore.

It's so sad. I'm obsessive with the Firewatch app. Just looking at the acreage going up devastated for everyone uh can't can't even fathom the amount of loss and devastation and it's fucking awful and that goes without being said i don't think anyone's not feeling that way watching it but anyone and this has also been said a million times anyone who is like these people are rich who gives a fuck first of all that's such a dumb thing to say and i understand where it comes from because we are so divided in this nation there's no middle class that we just hate the rich and

a lot of times i hate the rich they're all hoarding their wealth it's whatever i just have to say you would have that big of a house too if you were rich this is the thing i don't like it's like it's hypocrisy like these people who get mad at me about getting too many taylor swift tickets or like i've read in some swifty chats i'm like but if you could go this many times wouldn't you and the truth is they they would and they might say no actually i would donate my tickets to starving children in Africa or whatever they would say or Swifties in Need. There isn't even a place to do that to.

But guess what? You wouldn't. You wouldn't fucking do it. Until I see examples of that in your life in other ways where you're just giving all the time of stuff that you really care about, I don't believe you. And so don't come at me me what was i supposed to do i i just don't i i don't get i won't have this argument anymore i'm sorry i even brought it up

again because i've said things like this before but this whole thing of like these people being like they're rich these manch these people with mansions fuck them um some guy who won the lottery won 69 million dollars in the lottery lost his house in the palisades too bitch don't you play the poor people don't you play the lottery a lot and if you won would you not buy a house in the palisades probably yeah yeah you should probably feel even worse sad if it burnt down yes yeah god suffering is not relative suffering is relative do poor people if they got a billion dollars would they just not spend it would they not what would they do would they just give it all away i really want to know because these people that seem to be so mad at rich people for being rich you know they're rich because they're just lucky right it's not because you're a bad person and they're a good

person they're just luckier than you if that's what you wanted in life and so being mad at them about it um yes i get mad at the rich for not spreading their wealth more but i don't i don't think that their houses deserve to burn down you would buy a a house in Malibu too if you were a hundred millionaire. Yeah. I mean, you should even feel worse for the rich people because they had so much more stuff that burned up. I mean, it's like 10 times worse for them, all their things. It's true.

There's so much stuff that burned up. So much. That is so like family histories. Did you see the video of the guy With his dog Did you post this I can't watch the animal stuff I watch people talking about

In front of their wreckage Talking about what they lost But if an animal shows up It's getting skipped over so fast No jump scares here And this is a happy ending Do you want to hear it I don't even like a happy ending because the dog suffered at any point.

Okay, okay. I saw one about a cat, and the cat was in so much distress, and you could see it on their face that it just... I don't like... It's not a happy ending. The animal doesn't understand everything's okay now. It's like it's still in distress. So to me, animal videos, even the dodo, where it'll show a starving animal below a bridge,

and then it... I don't like to see it because I think about when it was suffering. We all have happy endings because we all fucking die someday. So why don't we all just watch heroin footage all the time, knowing that it's going to have a happy ending where the animal or the human is dead? Truly, death is a sweet release from any suffering. So why don't we just... Everything has a happy ending, if you really want to talk about it that way. But to me, videos that are sad and then have a happy ending are not happy videos.

Yeah, I think... Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Tell us what happened. I have a choose your own adventure. I have another story. This one has no animals in it at all, but it is fire related. I went to see the Clippers game last night

because I just had tickets to this Clippers game before the fires. And we're like, should we go? And we were waiting for them to cancel the game and they didn't cancel the game. So I went with my friend to the Clippers game and it's a home game, obviously, at the Intuit Dome.

And first of all, it was like 20% capacity. There was nobody there. I had the entire row to myself. We could take... I could have one row, and my friend could have the other row behind me if he wanted. Oh, my God. But is that just the Clippers?

Well, it's a lot of things coming together. One of the things is it's the Clippers, who are good, but famously, they're not the Lakers. They don't have as many fans. and they're named after something associated with toenails that's right it's it's i don't understand why they're called the clippers but the clippers were playing guess who um oh the flick the the miami heat miami heat and i was like this team should not even be allowed to come to los angeles i know and so you have people g is canceled too right yes oh

my god that's so true you can't use the fire emoji anymore emily's been saying emily says fire when we both agree on something like what what color should i get and i'm like red and she's like fire or you know like and last lately she's just been it's been being unsent and she goes fuck sorry and then right slay so until slay when someone starts you know there's a serial killer on the loose a slasher then she will go back to fire um so the heat coming and then there's people who are miami heat fans who live in los ang Angeles who are walking around with literal jerseys that have flames on them going down with L.A. You know, it's like insane that they were allowed. They're cheering against L.A. They're cheering against L.A. wearing fire jerseys.

Yeah. So thankfully, the Heat was put out and vanquished and the clippers won the game oh that's good yeah so they didn't come in here and just set our chris is there right now and said the um vibes are good it he says it's eerie that it seems like you know where he's staying in west hollywood um he feels like uh like ever it's business as usual yeah pretty much especially because now the air is cleared up i mean it was really smoky but i'm seeing instagrams of like it seems like it's okay but it's not you better put on a mask and that mask isn't even good enough and then noah on our chat said yesterday if you wear makeup you got to turn take off your mask every time you take off a mask you put on a new

mask because you got makeup on it and so we are so what what's what and then i at least the curry was telling me she i gotta go to home depot and get one with a um filter on it i'm not even there and i'm worried i mean i'm not i'm not exercising outside i'm not gonna go for a run outside but like i've been going outside to walk jack without a mask on and inside all the windows are closed and i have my air filters i have i have air purifiers in two in both rooms of my house from the last time there were fires. So now we're just running those and that's fine. When the fires first happened, I was walking Jack outside and literally it looked like it was snowing. Oh my God.

It's like 9-11. And you never had to evacuate, right? Because you are in Culver City. Culver City has an amazing man-made moat around it because it's got the 405 and the 10. And it's really difficult for a fire to jump nine lanes of highway. Wow, that's interesting. Okay.

God damn it. It's so sad. But Rob, our good friend Rob Stern, he had to evacuate. Andrew had to evacuate. Yeah, because they were probably close to the um the fire that was in running evacuate lizzie had to evacuate sean had to evacuate bob had to evacuate ian had to evacuate um you and gibbons are kind of the only people i know that didn't have to um our friend jammy didn't have to santa monica but it's um i would it's like whether or not you had

to evacuate how stressful it is to be there and just watching the app wondering if there is going to be an ember that just travels far enough to get you and um and by the way one last thing when the watch duty app just started like make like everyone started spreading about it like it started spreading like something yeah when that started happening like people were talking about that because i was like just good i was just going to new york times like the app to look at the fire stuff and i wasn't getting anything and then i hear about a sunset fire i'm like i want to i go what is this how is everyone getting this information and um someone said you got to do the watch duty app and i was like oh my god i thought so for like a day i everyone was putting watch duty in there like you know the little bubble you have next to your instagram name that's like a headline

yeah a little everyone was putting that right or on their instagram story watch duty i thought duty was a name of a show that a bunch of comedians were oh my god i thought it was like a 2b show that like was some kind of stand-up showcase that everyone was on and i was like this is so fucking tone deaf that people are telling everyone to watch this duty show that all of my friends are oh no i was but i didn't even like really let the thought go it just like kind of was there do you know i mean where you're like you don't even like really let the thought go It just like kind of was there Do you know what I mean where you're like you don't even like process it You just are you see it and you kind of like I thought Evacuate Now

Was a show on CBS So I didn't pay attention to that at all That's a new streamer But Watch Duty I mean like anytime I see Watch I have so many friends that are in the business When they're saying watch something It's like they're promoting something So it was I really felt dumb that day.

Anyway, we'll be back with more after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts um so yeah the fires are sad i if you want to so like there's a lot of donations happening and there's a lot of good stuff happening and i think like if you want to donate you should um like there's a lot of people that are donating clothes and they don't they say that

they don't need clothes anymore i hear they need used underwear and like old dirty leggings i hear that that's like the most yeah yeah baseball caps with makeup on it and then like only shirts with deodorant stains that you don't want anymore that you haven't washed those are the that's the people that are walking people that are dumping that stuff are fucking insane, dude. Insane. Okay, so people don't want, people want new stuff. People want new stuff, but you can, you know, the thing that people want most of all, this is what I learned from doing Adam Bruins everything. The people, what people need most of all is money.

Just give money. A lot of these charities, they have the infrastructure in place and they just need more money to pay people. I hear the best thing is to go to just the GoFundMe and pick a random family. Oh, if you can pay for them in full? Yeah. No, just like pick a random family and don't scatter your donation to like random families. Everyone donates like 20 bucks. Yeah, sure. When I go to these, here's a problem with gofundme i don't even know if i should say this because now

i'm second guessing everything i say because i feel like uh i've seen some things that i've said recently taken out of context and i seem like a monster um but let me be careful about this when i go to gofundme to donate sometimes i am so stressed out that um I'm not giving enough based on people I see in the GoFundMe who have given more than me that I can't, I don't want to post as me because I don't, I've already known my limit is going to be $500 yet other comedians are doing 1500. And I've already said to myself, I can't do more than like, I'm given a lot. Like I'm not going to give 1500 just because this other comedian did. Right. And so then I'm like, well, I'll post it on. I'm not going to give $1,500 just because this other comedian did. And so then I'm like, well, I'll post it on.

I'll just give it anonymously. And then I don't want to because then the person doesn't know that I gave it. They do. They do? Because you have to put your email. So the person who is hosting the fundraiser. But then they know I didn't give enough. They see. And then I just don't give.

Yeah. That's nuts. And I don't think I'm alone. It's not much. But there is something to it where you're like, she could give more. So sometimes I just won't give because I feel like people will think,

oh, she only gave 500. We know what she makes for things. She should give so much more. And then I just don't give because I'd rather them think that I didn't see it. Then I, then, then I didn't give enough.

Isn't that, I know that that's bananas, but I have to, I know that I'm not alone and I'm not a bad person for thinking that I know that people don't tip and like people don't give gifts anonymously. People want credit for it. I have done that a lot in my life. but I,

and this isn't every time for me, by the way, this may maybe once or twice i've noticed that i just didn't do i'll i go i just need to think about it more i'll donate i'll wait until i'm ready to give more or i'll just forget about it and if it's important enough i'll go back and do it but there have been times where i just don't don't do it because i just would rather give zero than have someone think she's cheap yeah Yeah, I mean, that's something that there's got to be a way around that.

Maybe if you just give it to one person. Like, I think what would be cool for you to do is to find one family, like instead of donating $500 to 10 different families, to find one and give them all of it and say, that's my... Like, there was this thing going around where jj reddix um who's a basketball player his uh his house burned down and his children lost

on all of their i thought he's a coach oh maybe he's a coach now well coach of the lakers former player now he's a coach he's the coach of the lakers now? Holy shit. I think so. I'm not really, I'm much more NFL caught up in NBA. She's right. Yes! I knew something! So he's the coach of the Lakers. Excellent job. Oh my God.

It's time. You can be on the halftime show now. Yes. So his house burned down and his children lost their jersey collection. And they had a jersey collection they've been amassing over like the course of going to all these nba games and um at the game at the game last night or two nights ago the the two teams playing is the lakers and somebody else they said no matter who wins i think it was the spurs no matter who wins we're going to give these kids uh signed jerseys and so they can restart their collection and it's like um yeah you

could argue that like these kids are you know they don't you need they already were privileged to have signed jerseys from all these nba players do they need more jerseys but it's really like give to people that you give what you can to people that are that you care about and it it just it doesn't matter how big or how little. You just make it more personal, I think. Because everybody knows somebody. If you ever lived in LA, everybody knows somebody who got affected by the fires. And you have the ability to help someone you actually know, as opposed to helping somebody.

It's nice to obviously donate to charity we all donate to charity but in this instance these gofundmes or just like you probably know several people who like you've like had lunch with who their house burned down and so to be able to help them i think would be the way to go so many people that i spoke to the day before their house burned down like i some you know celebrities were reaching out to me to say good job or, you know, I met them on the red carpet like Mario Lopez. I talked to two days before his house burned down. Jamie Lee Curtis had been texting me the day before or, you know, DMing me. I was like Harrison Ford.

I saw him evacuating. I'm like, it's so crazy to have been so close to these people who were so close to the biggest tragedy of their lives. Hopefully it's the biggest one of their life. I mean, it's, it's nuts how close it is to everyone. And you see the list of celebrities and, um,

and even, you know, I don't know. It's just, there's so many people that are, and everyone's so sweet when they post about their house burning down and they're like i want to just focus on the fact that everyone's safe and it seems people are really grounded and it is you know just things

but like what would you guys say have you guys like kind of thought about what you would save like if you had minutes to flee because it's kind of made me think about that what i would say for my apartment well yeah that isn't a living animal ally and i were looking around the house because we were like we we might have to evacuate what will we take should we prepare our cars and we were looking around and this is the joy one of the few benefits of being a millennial is that we're looking around and we're like there is literally not a single thing in this apartment that couldn't be replaced or isn't saved on a cloud somewhere yeah like i don't think there's anything in here like

all the pictures we have those on the cloud we printed those off of shutterstock even our wedding photos are on the cloud like uh you have just these little knickknacks that who gives a shit like books like it doesn't matter heirlooms yeah i guess they're i don't i don't really have heirlooms i have one stock that was uh the first stock issued to my grandfather yeah i don't have any heirlooms either they haven't reached me yet yeah and like i have one ring from my grandmother that's what i'd save and okay cat and a bottle of water or something and a bottle of water yeah i would get like my medicine because that's so fucking hard to every time i go to get my medicine it's

always it's delayed and so i i already have to like ration it out and so i would get a bottle of medicine and then i would get save your medicine because one day you're gonna have to pass that medicine down to your children and grandchildren so that they can have medicine. I would get like, I think there's probably some clothing that I would be like, oh, that's been special to me for a really long time.

And then like, really, you're right, Brian. In my pillow, that is I really like because no matter where I would go, I would want that in my pillow that is i really like your good because no matter where i would go i would want that and my my eye mask um because i can't sleep without an eye mask you could replace the eye mask i'm just thinking about what i'm gonna do this you know until i finally get to a next store like it might be till tomorrow your evacuation strategy is kind of just like

just like packing for a weekend trip yeah it really is i i would it is nice that things are replaceable and there were so many people i was watching their stories of like kids drawings and things like that um yeah i i get like i i think that's maybe is that we we all i'm gonna not finish the sentence that i was gonna say it would be a relief if my kids drawings burned up because then you know it's like you don't act like you like them you know i actually saw this service where you can send all of your kids art and then they put it in a book they make a book out of it on instagram i think that they're trying to push that right now because they're like oh i'm worried about losing it oh my god yeah no there's gonna to be a lot of people trying to take advantage there's going to be fake gofundmes without a

doubt i mean oh there already are i think there's no no one's going to be able to really check like if you actually had your house burned down there's so many people who lost their houses that like what are you going to say like oh you're you're going to question that and you're going to start sending stuff out to people in ohio but i think there's another thing that needs to be discussed that is like infuriating about the about this whole situation and that is the amount of and i'm gonna just say it's all republicans it's all like um mostly religious people who are shitting on california saying that we deserve the fires saying that we had it coming i mean those people truly should burn in hell because they they they act like because of like the people that we elected governor or because of the um because we have

abortion here that we brought this upon ourselves because we care about the environment that we brought this upon ourselves and i just think that's like some of the most vile that's like i haven't seen any of that oh my god it's i see a lot of it i guess i follow a more middle of the road uh cross-section of america that's so upsetting i mean it's so upsetting i've seen people doing what you're doing and talking to it but i haven't seen it i think i i think i probably just avoided it i can't stand anything from that side it's like it makes me mad because these people claim to love america more than anything and it's like california is part of america and to shit all over California is shitting on America so you

can't love America if you say well California New York um Washington and Oregon are pieces of shit like you have to either you can either love the country you can not love the country but you can't claim to love it and then say but not California because people vote Democrat I really Lisa Curry had a good post i she's been posting some funny stuff amidst all this horror but doing it in a really like tonally like perfect way but she was talking about like if you if i tell you that i'm struggling in the fires and that i live in la and you say i could never live in la don't fucking say that to me like this whole thing of people being like oh i could never live in live in California. Same kind of bullshit of like, oh, California.

Same people said stuff about that. Like whenever you live in LA or New York, there's a whole swath of people who always have to mention when talking to you about it, I could never live there. And the truth is you couldn't because you're a pussy. You want to so bad, but you have to like make it seem horrible because you kind of are embarrassed that you couldn't live there that's what's going on

there if you have to verbalize that you and maybe it's fine that you couldn't live there it is a tough city but why do you have to tell us that it's so lame yeah and else it's because you're jealous it honestly is coming from and i know you're gonna be like no it's not it just seems like a terrible city then why say it no one else says that about your city like no one says i can never live in iowa i can like because we know that it's like a mean thing to say but because la and new york are cool you get to shit all over them it's like this protective thing where people get to shit on things if they're cool right it's the same way when women talk about guys having small penises they know

they can do it because no one's ever gonna go hey i have a small penis so they just get to do it all the time it's like this people find a way to shit on things that they can get away with in la in la and new york are one of those things also like in this particular moment it's kind of it's just like a huge pet peeve of mine when people take something and they just make it about themselves and in this situation when someone's like going through so much suffering that you would make it about your uh desires and where you'd live and you won't live and stuff like that's so tone deaf yes do you know the comedian uh solomon giorgio yeah he posted this great thing i Can I play it?

It's like 10 seconds. I don't know if you'll be able to hear it, but let me try. Of all the shit-talking people do about Los Angeles, let's be real. This city can be literally on fire. The wind can be trying to blow me away. Sometimes the earth shakes beneath me. But I still don't want to live where you live. All the shit.

Yeah, exactly. I thought that was pretty funny. Because people know that it's a tough city to live in. It's expensive. You know, probably the coolest, most go-getter person from your high school probably moved there. And you loved it when they failed eventually. Because you don't have the balls to do it. And maybe you don't want the balls to do it.

But if you're shitting all over la or new york and you when you meet someone from there you go i could never live there no one cares and we know you couldn't we already know because you're not there because you would be because they are very cool cities especially in new york let me just say that i think this is mainly in new york i think la some people probably wouldn't want to live there but new york everyone should want to live in new york at some point it's the coolest fucking city ever and the reason you don't is because it's it's too busy for you and you wouldn't last yeah it's not because you have like a you're cooler than it or something it's so annoying um and now i'm making it about me by saying that but um well what's it like being back in st louis i got back yesterday um it's snow so much snow

but it's too cold to melt but it's the sun is beaming on it so it's frozen so it is just frozen snow it's not even fun snow it's just you're walking on ice everywhere you go yeah um chris isn't here i'm alone is it weird to be back at home i mean it's what a parallel uh i i did not want to be in la we were in hawaii and we were gonna like you know i was even gonna to get to st louis i was gonna fly through la and i said no i don't even want to touch down in the city i'm i talk about making about myself i just am too depressed to even i don't want to look out the window i don't want to see people who look sad i just can't i can't handle it i just don't i was just i don't want to have a chance of the plane not getting

out and i have to stay the night there like chris is fucking there chris like chose to go back i'm like i what is he doing saddened by it um he's editing the Joan Rivers thing he shot back in November. So one thing that's positive about L.A. right now is, I don't know if you recall post 9-11, you were in St. Louis. So there is a small amount of camaraderie in the streets among strangers. If you go to a restaurant, everyone's kind of talking about it, and there is a kindness that... LA's never been known for people being mean, so

it's not as stark of a contrast as it was in New York when people start to be nice all of a sudden. It's like, what? But in LA, there are people just kind of... There's more kindness in the general public. I could see how that would be nice. And Chris did say it's like, you know, doesn't seem like he's out in the street, like walking around, going to restaurants, like everything seems in business.

I just, I don't know. Sometimes I just, it's the way I don't want to look at footage of dogs being rescued. I just, it's the way I don't want to look at footage of dogs being rescued. It's too sad. I just want to avoid sadness, and maybe it's selfish, but I just told my assistant, I was like, get me back from Hawaii to St. Louis, and please change my flight. I don't want to go through LA. I'm too scared. Where did you go?

I flew all the way to Atlanta. From Hawaii? Yeah. It actually was the shortest flight of all the ones, even the ones through LA, that were offered. It was 12 hours long. So a direct flight from Hawaii all the way to Atlanta? Yeah, and then to St. Louis was shorter than a lot of...

I think it was on par with some from LA, but shorter than San Francisco or Dallas or anything like that. Because of the layover? Yeah, I did a red eye. And guess what I watched on the flight? I'm trying to watch more movies because I want to make a movie, so I'm trying to get back into watching movies and seeing what I like and guess what I watched on the flight. I'm like trying to watch more movies cause I want to make a movie. So I'm trying to like get back into watching movies and seeing what I like and seeing what I don't. And I've also,

I just feel like I'm not reading books right now and I need to like consume things that make me feel a lot. And, um, and I had some time, I had a week off. So we consumed some movies, whiplash.

And then the one movie that I read on a oh it was like a um instagram post i even put it on the girls chat it was an instagram post that said after i will after you what movie for you when you turned it off made you stare at the wall for five minutes and question everything and i sent it to the girls chat being like which one was this for you guys i forget what all of you said but i remember the number one comment underneath this one was interstellar and i'd never seen interstellar i asked chris about it because it seemed like something that had a lot of like destruction and suspense and maybe like aliens and like i don't know fire and shooting but he said it wasn't so i watched that on the plane and i don't really know that it didn't leave me staring at anything it left me staring at my phone a lot um it it was um timothy chalamet's in it i loved seeing him um i jessica

chastain gorgeous amazing uh i loved you know matthew mcconaughey i don't know what happened it feels like it felt like um what's the inception to me i had to i had to read a synopsis of it to understand um well a lot of the concepts in interstellar because that came out in like 2012 or something yeah 2014 a lot of those concepts you want to know about it i can tell you yeah well it's been it's been well trodden now it was it was groundbreaking at the time and i i don't even think it was so groundbreaking at the time because of like star trek and uh they have like wormholes and stuff yeah like since interstellar came out like even in just like cartoons like rick and morty like this these cons and like the multiverse with with marvel like this stuff has now become almost like overdone whereas when interstellar came out

it was like right at the beginning when we were like when it was becoming mainstream to talk about these types of i need more movies like this i want more movies that leave me staring at a blank wall what what does that conjure any movie for you both that like left you going like whoa well i thought birdman was that now i can't even remember what happened it was about some kind of play. I just remember there was a play and then he shot. I mean, yeah, I thought Birdman. Whiplash, I mean.

Oh, yeah, he was an actor. That's right, Birdman. Right, he was an actor in Birdman. Yeah, movies that made me, like, question, like, the world. Or just, like, made you just, you turned it off and you like couldn't speak or you were just like, whoa, what did I just watch kind of thing? And I don't remember having that feeling about, maybe American Beauty when I first saw it

in like eighth grade. I think now even that would probably get me. Is that Kevin Spacey? Oh yeah, that's Kevin Spacey working out in a garage. Annette Benning slapping herself yeah uh west bentley who is also in i have not seen him since american beauty and he shows up in interstellar and he looks the same oh my god probably the 25 year difference of those two movies whoa he looks great he died in the tidal wave in interstellar though spoiler alert oh and

matt damon shows up i mean interstellar people just started showing up tofer grace suddenly is there matt damon gets unzipped and he suddenly come out of this fucking cryogenic chamber i don't even know he's in it i was like that's damon yeah nuts actually who's the chick in it oh yeah oh and hathaway i was like what is and hathaway in this movie i could not believe how star-studded interstellar was and then a young timothée chalamet oh yeah timothée that was back when movies were movies you know like when you could just like pack things with stars and everyone would go see it uh have you seen elysium elysium matt damon no and outer space was a big pile of shit though you didn't like it steaming pile of

shit right never even heard of that how do these movies i was like trying to i'm like going through netflix and hulu and looking for movies and i go what is this goddamn movie that has brad pitt george clooney harrison ford like there are movies that have so many stars in it that like came out 1998 i never even heard of yeah and i just i only hear about movies from friends i have no idea what movies are out like you guys will talk about movies and then i'll go look them up the last show girl i mean i saw all the movies almost all the movies for golden globes i didn't see the brutalist even though i hear that's the one that's like you gotta see but i loved anora i um uh uh amelia perez

choose your own adventure for that one that one's crazy that just deserves to be watched because you you can't believe what it is there yeah it's it's you it's so it's entertaining it's visually interesting compelling it the songs are interesting they're not like catchy pop songs but like i am you do kind of get them stuck In your head for a little bit because they're so Offbeat yes A complete unknown Lady yeah like A complete unknown amazing

The story I don't really know Whatever but performances A plus Night bitch It's a skip for me but Amy Adams Incredible Scoot McNary don't even get me started on mr scoot mcnary because i am obsessed with him i was watching night bitch and i'm in bed with chris and i'm watching it on my laptop and i'm like this actor i really like him and chris is

like okay and i'm like i showed him because i didn't want chris to be like well she's just like horning out for a guy because he's not like a very like obviously hot dude but there is a hotness to scoop mcnary he's the husband on night bitch and amy adams is incredible in it it's it's just it wasn't for me i just don't i don't i don't know i just don't want her i didn't want her turning into a dog i liked everything else i love seeing the struggle of motherhood i thought it was important when we start talking about women being beasts and like being part of the earth and I didn't want her turning into a dog. I liked everything else. I love seeing the struggle of motherhood. I thought it was important. When we start talking about women being beasts and like being part of the earth and we need to rise up because we are the earth. I'm just like,

I check out. I just, I don't like anything spiritual or like mythical. I'm just not into it. It's not for me, but it is. I know so many people who love night pitch, but the performances were great. One of several movies that came out this year,

a woman turns into a dog. the other one being a baby girl yeah i did i did like baby girl um uh but more than night bitch but in night bitch there were parts of it i really love did you see night bitch i just want to keep saying night bitch i didn't see night bitch you have to see it no because you're a new mom you need to see it you got to learn how to unleash the beast yeah you just it just really captures being a mom but you also like are a mom you're already living it like you if you're not going to learn anything new about how hard it is to be a mom it's good for women like me to see to be like whoa god that is rough yeah like you that's like saying to nickel you should watch a movie about like a touring comedian but i kind of want to see. But I kind of want to see that.

Because you kind of want to see what your life... It's kind of cool to see your life in cinema. So maybe you should see it. Cinema. What movies that have comedians in it have you seen? Like there was like... I like Joker. King of Comedy, Joker.

Joker was really solid. I never saw King of Comedy. But I liked Punchline, even though i don't think that was a represent a good representation funny people oh yeah god i remember funny people loved he because he nailed it because he's a comedian sure you know i felt like that was pretty good was top five remember chris rocks yes i don't think was he a comedian i like that movie yeah he was i think so that was good um yeah anyway i i recommend a complete unknown the most i recommend a nora very very much yeah nora was like groundbreaking comedy movie like it restored my faith in the ability of people to

make comedies that are successful it wasn't totally a comedy though like i'm sorry it's it wasn't like a broad comedy like no it wasn't like airplane old school or you know this is 40 or train wreck like i want that back can we call please bring those back and can those be maybe they just don't make any money like we learned this from pop star which was one of the best comedy movies of all time. They just don't, people don't want to go. We got to go to break. Why?

Why does everyone want to see big robots throwing things at each other? Oh my God. I love big robots. Fighting on a cliff and like. Oh, on a cliff? Big dinosaurs biting legs of other dinosaurs. Like,

why do we, why do we want to see. When is that coming out? Men with blue heads and like one eye shooting a laser oh and then all these people turning into zombies and like marching in unison and then like why is that what everyone wants to see oh my god people want to laugh why don't they want to like fall in love why don't they want to watch people like have a meet cute like what happened like i don't understand it like what why because don't they want to watch people like have a meet cute like what happened like i

don't understand it like what why because don't women enjoy things because women are not enjoying laser beams women want to see movies about women turning into dogs and getting finger no they don't i don't even know what women want but like i like superhero movies or do women i think women do like them i'm not saying it's just Some women But does she like them as much as like a rom-com? I have the answer to your question Or like a really funny

Like when Harry met Sally I'm not talking about like lose a guy in 10 days rom-com I'm sorry Made in Manhattan Respect all the women in those movies They suck They're bad dialogue They're dumb scenarios

when harry met sally you've got male i'm talking nora efron levels of romantic comedies why aren't those being made like let me get some of those or at least complicated a nancy myers like that's where we need to bring things back i don't want sweet home alabama i don't want legally blonde i'm sorry i know everyone loves legally blonde i didn't like it why i don't know i don't want Legally Blonde. I'm sorry. I know everyone loves Legally Blonde. I didn't like it. Why? I don't know. I don't know. But I think that sometimes when things are made for women, they're dumbed down so much.

And I'm sure it happens with men, too, with superhero movies. Yeah, they're dumbed down for men, too. That's why the robots are throwing things at other robots. That's why I liked Whiplash. It respected my intelligence, but it wasn't over my head. I just want to see a movie where a big monster comes out of the sea. That's what I liked Whiplash. It respected my intelligence, but it wasn't like over my head. I just want to see a movie where a big monster comes out of the sea. That's what I'm saying. That's all that happens in these movies,

but people love it. People love to see like an arm turn into a machine. And like a guy being like, what? And then he throws a rock. And then maybe he gets into a car. He really gets into a car. Oh my God. And then, okay, wait, we got to go on break. And then I'm going to come back with my biggest pet peeve in movies of all time.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Final thought. Okay, this is something I can't handle in movies, and it happens in comedies too. It happened in Barbie, and it stressed me out. It always stresses me out so much. When cars go, like when there's a skid mark when cars like when uh when like there's a rough turn and it kind of like comes up on or it like goes over a ledge it goes boom boom and the axle gets all fucked up it's like why are we fucking up cars and like putting

these machines that are like handcrafted some of them handcrafted even like just they cost thousands of thousands of dollars and we're going like boom boomed some of them handcrafted even like just they cost thousands of thousands of dollars and we're going like and like driving them so shitty i don't like things going like like i don't like when things are damaged in movies i don't like damage and i certainly don't like it in cars there's a scene where she's like being chased by mattel and they like grow over this ledge in the car you can just tell that car's shittier now because of that one scene and it's like did we really need that like why can't people just drive fast fast is different than like and like going over like i think my dad got it in my head that

like the axle being fucked up and your alignment being fucked up is like there's nothing worse it'll ruin the tires immediately and then you have to take it to the mechanic, which I just went to today. And it takes so much time, even though they had me in and out as quickly as they could. It just is like, why do we need to see that all the time? Why do men like seeing cars go over curbs so fucking much? And people going like that with a car. I don't think we should have chase scenes anymore in action movies that's what that's what i'm talking yes it's the most boring part of every action movie is the chase scene because they've done it so many times we've all seen all the

tricks we've all seen the trick where they turn then they go down a really thin alleyway and then people have to drive away and you drive through a fruit stand we've even seen a helicopter get attached to a car during it we We've seen everything that could possibly happen. They were driving through a bunch of crops and I'm like, he's making his kids drive through these crops and they almost hit a tractor and they would have killed them all. Then they almost drive off a cliff and then he just says something cool like,

well, I didn't tell you to keep driving off a cliff. And it's like they almost just died, but he says something cool. I just can't. That's the problem. Lower the stakes. Here's a new one that i don't think anyone's ever pointed out i cannot stand in a movie when two people are walking down the sidewalk next to each other and one of them says something a little bit shocking and then the person that hears the shocking thing stops in place and that person that says the shocking thing keeps walking no no one does that

people would both stop they both do it like why did you stop do you know what i'm talking about when they're like and yeah i um i think i have a crush on tom and then the then the person who hears is like stop and then the girl keeps walking it's like stop doing that and also say goodbye on the phone it takes two seconds everyone that's a common one that people have picked up on. Put water in coffee cups so that there's some kind of weight in them. And also explain yourselves more. When I write a movie, here's what I promise the American people, because I'm not going to release it globally.

Because I love America. the american people because i'm not going to release it globally because i love america i promise to have dialogue that is realistic i promise that there will be no scene in which you say well if she just would have explained herself a little bit more or if that if that character would have just asked one more question that anyone under a normal circumstance would ask this scene wouldn't be happening we will not have that we will not have a girl eating ice cream because her heart is broken we will not have a girl um uh we will not have any kind of messy girl being messy because she's heartbroken we won't have that. You won't have a picture of someone texting on their phone

and they have no text history at all. It's just the first text. Oh, God! That's bullshit. Yeah. We won't have... Well, there's so many other tropes that are even... You don't even have to say like you don't even have to say

you don't even have to say we won't have like you won't have someone running uh after an airplane chasing them down like you won't have someone give an ultimatum saying like i have to leave the country tomorrow yes and we can't we can't stay for another second to figure out this complicated relationship and then. And then finally at the last second, they run into the airport to stop them from leaving. And then they don't go on their trip. Well, they can't. They can't do that anymore because of TSA Pre. Or TSA.

We won't. We will not have someone singing off key in a car to establish that the character is adorable. We won't have that. We won't have someone have it be like their anthem that they sing throughout the whole movie even though i love to sing more than anyone we're not going to do that to you we're not going to have a couple get together because they just because they're both mean to each other in one scene and then suddenly we're supposed to be rooting for them forever we won't have that we

will not have a sex scene in which a woman is has a penis put in her within seconds of being kissed unless she is yelping in like in fright and pain immediately we will not have um we will not have a full-blown orgasm by me, the lead actress, on screen. I promise you. Because I am sick of seeing A-list actresses having orgasms. I'm sick of it. I love you, Nicole Kidman. I heard she had an actual orgasm. Isn't that true?

During taping? Well, that feels even worse to me. If a man said that, wouldn't we all go, that's disgusting? Right? I'm sorry. A man... Yeah, I actually came. If we found out a guy actually came while he was shooting a scene, he would never work

again. Yeah, no. That's assault. Yeah, I hope that carpet that she came on is hanging in a planet Hollywood somewhere because I will go to that one. No, Nicole Kidman can do whatever the fuck she wants. I love her. Keep strumming, you kooky koala.

But I do not want to see women having orgasms on screen anymore. I don't want to do it. I saw it in Baby Girl. And then, I mean, Baby Girl was insane. And I was looking, what I wanted to do a mashup of so badly was, if you saw Baby Girl, youicole kidman's orgasm sound which is like really a guttural very realistic i will say it was realistic i'll give her that um sound grunt and i wanted um i forgot i was asking i guess noah garfinkel but then he didn't know either of the references i was like i wanted that to be the like to put that sound in the wicked

oh yeah for her battle cry i-huh i thought that would have been funny but no one made it happen um and i think that concludes of what i will not have i'll keep making a list as i watch more movies and i would love besties to dm me anything that should not that you would like to not see in the movie that i make because i'm just collecting what i like and what i don't like and by the way my movie's gonna suck too but it's gonna suck for so many reasons because every movie sucks i've learned and it's just hard to make a good movie but i'm gonna try and i'm just gonna start by going like i don't like this and i think that's a good place to start yeah that's an interesting place to start to find everything you don't like

and then see what's left and at the end of it know, what will be left after you remove all of the things you don't like? Will it just be like two people sitting in a, not a coffee shop because that's a trope, but two people sitting in a coffee shop.

I don't want a park bench. What'd you say, Noah? On a park bench. Park bench is pretty tropey too. Two people sitting on a park bench. Yeah, I don't know that it, there will be phones. I will say that.

And no one will be singing into a spatula or a hairbrush and then get caught and go like and get caught by someone not gonna happen yeah and people will have dirty bras well so what you can do if you have random sex and you're taking off your clothes your bra will be dirty girl you will see me with a nude colored stained bra. It's classic comedy, though. What you can do is take any of these tropes and undermine it the way you're describing. And that is a compelling scene in a movie all of a sudden.

All right. If you undercut, if you take the scene where the person is singing into the spatula and you somehow undercut it so that it's now provocative and new. It's a black spatula that can cause cancer. Did you guys read that? Yes, I did. That you're supposed to get rid of all your black spatulas? What? All your plastic black spat can cause cancer. Did you guys read that? You're supposed to get rid of all your black spatulas? All your plastic black spatulas cause cancer. Even like the

ones for nonstick pans, you're saying? It says all black, any kind of black cookware tool. You'll get targeted on Instagram too now. You're going to get it now after we talk about this. I just found out that there's lead inside protein plant-based chocolate protein powders which i consume almost exclusively so oh yeah

god damn uh i'm gonna start being able to not read i guess i don't know what happens for lead poisoning but um yeah it's not looking good yeah that's well that must be like the chocolate problem overall that chris and i uh discovered like all this dark chocolate has um like cadmium Yeah that's Well that must be Like the chocolate Problem overall That Chris and I Discovered Oh yeah Like all this dark chocolate Has like Cadmium Yeah

Cadmium's the other one Which sounds like Something that's good for you Yeah it sounds like I was trying to Up my cadmium But now I realize Alright guys

We gotta go We have another show For you tomorrow We'll see you then Send me things That you don't want To be in movies I would love to hear them

And we'll read them on air Don't be cuh Bye The Nikki Glzer podcast is a production by will ferrell's big money players and i heart podcast created and hosted by me nikki glazer co-hosted by brian frangie executive produced by will ferrell han sani and noah avior edited and engineered by lean and loaf video production mark canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser Pod

and subscribe to our channel. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines

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