The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #509 At The Big Game, NFL Honors Highlight & A Dry Mouth
Episode Date: February 13, 2025Nikki and Brian are totally on the same page about Super Bowl Sunday being the saltiest holiday on so many levels. Nikki was super bummed by the Taylor Swift boos, and it’s making her question A...merica. Brian was all about the Halftime Show, and Nikki recapped seeing it in person. At the NFL Honors, she got to meet Jordon Hudson, which was a major highlight. A cab ride from hell turns into new material. Nikki shouts her Pittsburgh crowd and her opener, Tommy Brennan. In the Final Thought, Nikki’s been obsessed with The Telepathy Tapes podcast, Brian reveals who won his Super Bowl Squares j-j-jackpot, and, of course, he gives his take on the big game. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram: @NikkiGlaserPod Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The Nikki Glaser Podcast. fresh off the Superbowl.
Reporting this on Monday morning, got back from New Orleans to St. Louis after being, I haven't been in St. Louis for a couple weeks now, but landed at I think, 9am took an hour ago.
Yeah, and I took a nap. So I'm freshly out of a nap.
I don't even know what happened.
You got the cobwebs still, the stupor.
Yeah, well, I definitely, I'm wearing sunglasses right now
because I have indents in my face from the sleep mask.
I was going real hard and my face is real puffed up
and just like really collect like a memory foam mattress
collecting like every little touch of things.
So I have the sunglasses on, just ate too much salt
this weekend, just you know, just been not taking care
of myself.
Super Bowl, out of all the holidays, first of all,
the Super Bowl I think is the second most American,
the second most American holiday.
It's like really defines America.
After Halloween or something?
July 4th, or what is number one.
That's kind of American.
Maybe Thanksgiving's number two. Oh, yeah.
But it's top three.
Super Bowl should be a national holiday.
But I would say that you're right.
I think out of all of the holidays,
Super Bowl is the most salt food consumed holiday.
Salty-est.
Yeah, even if you try to eat healthy,
well, that's what healthy is,
is they just put lots of salt and sugar and things,
and then it's fat-free free and everyone thinks it's fine.
Because we are all still brainwashed from the 90s
when fat was the enemy.
And why wouldn't it be?
It's called fat and you're trying not to be fat.
No fat phobia here.
I mean like the culture says you shouldn't be fat
and then the thing, there's an agree in food called fat.
You know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me of when you were listening to the radio
and there is an option.
I always as a kid was like,
why is there an option to turn down one instrument?
Like, why is there only an option
to turn down the bass guitar?
Like, why isn't, and then the treble,
I don't even know what the treble was,
but I was like, there's two instruments that they're're like some people just don't want them in their music
The bass is it's not always the bass guitar
but a lot of times the bass the sound of bass is a bass guitar and
It's the same thing. It's like you you it's named for a thing that it doesn't represent
I don't know what I'm trying to say. Do you know what I'm trying to say kind of anyway?
doesn't represent, I don't know what I'm trying to say. Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Kind of.
Anyway, ate a lot of salt this weekend.
Because I like soy sauce and I like skinny pop
and I like mustard and I had a pretzel.
Mix it all up, put it in a bag, eat it up.
It's called a New Orleans sandwich.
Then I ate a lot of fruit because that's like
all they have at the game is like if you're vegan,
it's like a pretzel is the only vegan thing and it's probably not has butter on it
but like what am I gonna do I just can't yeah it's not real spray butter fake
oil probably hydrogenized fats probably not yes probably is hydrogenated
soybean oil okay yeah that's right thank you for making me feel better about it
you know like I'm spending money on a great vegan, but you're right. You're right.
It probably is fake. So it's just like gross. And how was the Superdome? So you went to
the Superbowl. Yeah. Not but one day ago. Actually, less than 24 hours ago. I was in
hair and makeup for the Superbowl. Yeah. This time yesterday. I wasn't in hair and makeup for the Super Bowl yet at this time yesterday.
So you went to the glorious Super Dome in New Orleans, Louisiana.
How was that?
They say that that's one of the best stadiums in the country.
And now you've been to a lot.
I have been to a lot.
And I've actually been there for Taylor Swift.
Yeah, I've been to, I saw Ares tour there.
And I saw a lot of footage of it during the flood, which do they name the flood?
Was there a her was it named?
What was it named?
Oh, Katrina.
Oh, like in 2004.
I think it was five.
But yeah, yeah, I saw that.
That like kind of I thought in my head that I was coming.
You're like Tate McCray with the score.
Whoa, wait, what?
Tate McCray predicted the score.
No, she didn't.
The Eagles were gonna win and the score would be 40 to 22.
You kidding me?
She predicted it in December on a TikTok.
How did she do, what?
She was just like randomly guessing.
I mean, it's like, it's bound to happen.
That's not even like a score that happens.
22 is like, it never happens.
She goes 40 and 22. Are you serious? Exactly right. She's like, it's not even like a score that happens. 22 is like, she goes 40 and 22.
And then she's like, yeah, in December.
Uh huh. It's against the chiefs or did she?
No, no, that is unbelievable.
Wow. Really cool.
She's not even American.
She's from Canada. Yeah.
It's like she goes, is this a football thing?
Like she didn't even understand like what she was being.
Oh, my God.
Well, that makes me like take the cray more.
The super the the dome was like.
I'm going to be honest, like, fine, I can't really compare it to other places.
Like, I really like an outdoor stadium, so that's always just changes things.
And I am so anti turf now after watching a nine minute video
I stumbled across on my Instagram the other day. The players hate the turf. Why are we
playing on it then? Greed, sheer greed. It's because it's annoying to take care of grass,
even though they have new technological advancements that make it easier to roll out of grass field.
They find it annoying to take care of grass. It's expensive to make grass grow. It's just
like having a lawn on your front yard.
You know how hard it is to keep that grass green and nice?
There's like 68% more injuries on turf.
All the players hate it compared to playing on concrete.
And then there's this other thing,
I didn't watch the whole video,
but it seems like there's like,
they can't really even complain about it
because they'll get in trouble
for even saying anything bad about it.
So it's just like this. It's crazy. They, yeah, they can't take a knee really even complain about it because they'll get in trouble for even saying anything bad about it.
So it's just like this.
Yeah, it's like Black Lives Matter.
It's crazy.
Yeah, they can't take a knee because they're scared of it's going to hurt.
You're going to slip.
You're going to slip on the goddamn turf.
That's right.
But like, yeah, they'll just get, there's non-contact injuries, which I didn't even
know was a thing.
It's like when you're running and you just twist your ankle because of like a ghost.
Or not even.
That's what happened to Aaron Rodgers last year. You're just kind of of like sometimes it's people on the sidelines and it's it happened to uh our good
friend and uh compatriot Mike Gibbons had a non-contact injury where it that's where most
Achilles tears happen. It's not even when you're playing it's not even when you're getting tackled
it's not even a twist it's just like when you start to run and all of a sudden it pops. Gotcha. That makes sense. That makes sense. But yeah, that really upset me reading that.
I'm just like, oh, so like the players can't even complain about it because they know they'll
never win and they just don't want to spend the extra money on it. It's like what I've
been saying. It's what I said about, there was some kind of, oh, about paying the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
Make the cups, make a large soda, $1 extra,
and then just put that towards getting grass.
Yeah.
But they wouldn't.
If they made a large soda, $1 more,
they'd give it to Jerry Jones
so he can have another private jet that he doesn't fly.
Or what, you know, like it's like,
it doesn't even go towards anything useful. This is what our entire country's problem is. I mean that's wrong with everyone.
I can't even take it. Don't even get me started on the booing last night. Like I can't I went
fucking nuts today on Bethany Frankel's Instagram post. I couldn't take it. Like she's in the
right place. She was like you know I didn't even see it yet but I heard Taylor Swift got
booed at the at the game and I think it's just she pretty much was like, you know, I didn't even see it yet, but I heard Taylor Swift got booed at the game.
And I think it's just, she pretty much was like,
she didn't say these words, which was like,
I think it's like really disgusting and like bad
for our daughters that people are just booing this girl
that hasn't done anything and like why is she getting booed?
Well, okay, so I'm not supporting-
She was getting booed because of those Eagles fans.
And she was weird.
She obviously represents the Chiefs
and they were booing anything on, anyone on screen,
I was there, so before that it would be like,
da da da, da da da, hey!
And they were just showing different fans.
Every time there were Eagles fans, cheers.
Every time there was a Chiefs fan, booze.
And so when they put her up, it was obviously booze,
but it wasn't even that, I mean,
I thought that was pretty disgusting.
I was embarrassed, and you will, I thought that was pretty disgusting. I was embarrassed and you're you will.
I went fucking wild cheering and making.
But then I was like, wait, could my cheer be like caught up with the booze?
So I tried to go like high pitched, like, we
do a bunch of ease instead of I was doing easy.
But I was just like, get the camera off of her.
Don't let this like whatever is operating the camera the camera, like, they were going, they were
bouncing around so quick to all the celebrities, but on her they really left it a really long
time, which I understand it's Taylor Swift.
But once this booze started, they should have got it off of her immediately.
Don't make her sit and watch that and have to respond to it.
Her reaction is being celebrated online.
She's great.
She did the right thing.
Yeah.
She looked so cute. I have to say that's like the one positive of them booing her.
She just looked so cute.
She looked just side-eye and then smiling.
Yeah.
I just want to give her a hug.
What else could she do?
I know.
I just thought it was really embarrassing.
So speaking of the backlash against Taylor Swift, I think maybe you posted this.
It was every single person.
So I watched the half-time show
and I'm a huge Kendrick fan and I have a bad night for Jews overall, but huge because Drake's a Jew
and this was like basically the capstone of his public execution was Kendrick Lamar doing the
diss track at the Super Bowl. But I thought it was an amazing Super Bowl halftime show.
I have a few criticisms, but overall amazing online, though,
tons of people saying it was the worst halftime show they ever seen.
Was it you that posted the picture of all the funny?
The Ike? I mean, it's unbelievable.
So Nikki posts something on her Instagram stories.
You can follow her at Nikki Glaser on it.
Just in case you didn't know.
I know people don't think I made it. I just, I found it on Reddit. If there would have
been a creator attached to it, I would have, I would have posted it, but I figured the
person who posted it was just, you know, stolen.
Yeah. Well, I was really mad by going on Twitter and seeing all these people like what? well worse Chris and I were like what is going on because we witnessed it and then you know, we also it looks different on TV but
We're right. We also had a screen above our box where we were kind of like watching what it would be like on TV and
It was amazing. And yeah, it was just these people didn't recognize the music and there were no white people in it
I guess but it yeah, the meme that I posted is just a bunch of Twitter avatars that are like the circle or Instagram avatars.
And it's the circle and it's just a bunch of white men with big sunglasses on.
Every single avatar, every single person who said this halftime show wasn't good was almost like the AI replicant of the same white man.
I mean, it was the same guy.
And they all had sunglasses.
All like aviators on.
Yeah, I mean, that's like the classic like troll,
like, manga troll look on these avatars.
But it's a, I didn't like the halftime show in quotes,
and then it's just like all these people.
I mean, I have never gotten so many responses
on my, an Instagram post since I said I was gonna to host the Golden Globes. Like everyone is writing to me
being like, this is hilarious. I mean, I think people know I didn't write it because it's
clearly a repost, but it's so funny because it's so accurate and yeah, people are really upset
about it, I guess. And that, which is just delightful to me because it was, it was,
it was fun. It was very like, Chris and I were just like, it's was it was fun it was very like Chris and I
were just like it's it was it was a celebration of America and it was like
kind of an in-your-face just like you know response to everything that's
happening now but it wasn't too overt it was kind of all kind of subliminal and
you have to really be paying attention and you have to listen to the lyrics
and like understand what he's saying and I loved it I thought it was so good and I'm not even like a huge
Kendrick fan I have one critique of the halftime show that's general but I think
we have to go break okay we'll go to break and we'll get back to work
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All right, we're back.
What was your critique of the halftime show?
The critique of my halftime show, which I agree with some of the commenters, even though
that there was clear ulterior motives.
I miss when we used to have outrageously unrealistic mashups in Super Bowl halftime shows, when
you would pull in ridiculous combinations of stars that you would never see.
Like Dagger and Britney Spears.
Yeah, exactly.
Or like Janet Jackson.
Right, so like Kendrick and SZA and then randomly one of the Williams sisters was dancing, is
that right?
Yeah, Serena.
Serena was dancing.
She used to date Drake.
Yes.
Oh, so that, nobody in my party knew that.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't know it either until I got home and talked to someone about it.
That's huge. That's amazing. That was like really amazing.
Yeah, and apparently SZA also dated Drake.
Really?
Yes.
Wow. I mean Drake is just man.
He is like a soap opera.
I love it.
He can't win. He should he should literally just start.
He should retire.
Like what's he gonna do next?
Like yeah, it just it better be the greatest.
It's so much pressure.
I mean, he should just fuck a kid so that he could just lean into it.
I mean, I don't, you know, if there's certain groups that wouldn't mind.
Heel turn.
That's the only move at this point is you take a heel turn and you're just like,
yeah, I'm a bad guy.
And now, and go to jail.
Like you have to just become what they say you are.
You can just retire.
Like you're rich enough.
Like no one needs you to keep working.
Like I understand that he, he wants to keep creating
and he's probably an artist that craves
putting his stuff out there.
Just then go, I think at this point,
you have to like create a new person.
You've got to like Sasha Fierce.
Like you have to do a different character because. He should be Sasha Fierce. Like you have to do a different character because.
He should be Sasha Fierce.
But I'm not really like sad for him.
Like, oh, he did, like if he were to be forced into early retirement, he's, he's at least got, you know, $300 million at least.
Yeah.
He's okay.
Like you could just go stop, just stop doing it.
No one, we don't need more.
I mean, I mean.
Create a.
I would hate if Taylor Swift stopped and someone could argue the same thing,
but you know, not that she's being forced,
but like, I don't think anyone needs to keep working
after they've earned $100 million.
Other than the heel turn, here's what he can do.
He can create a anonymous account on SoundCloud
and release some unidentified tracks
that don't say that they're Drake under a new name,
and those catch on.
And then become huge, and then be like,
it was me the whole time.
Right, exactly.
And then we'd all lose our mind and eat crow.
Yeah, yeah, that's one way he could do it.
That would be cool.
Yeah, I was waiting for some kind of like big,
I was waiting for Taylor Swift to come out,
I'm not gonna lie, I kind of,
I was watching her box the whole night
because I had a pretty good view of it,
and I saw her like dip out a little bit before halftime, and I was like her box the whole night because I had a pretty good view of it. And I saw her dip out a little bit before half time
and I was like, no way,
because he was featured on Bad Blood.
And then it got further and further in
and I'm like, there's no way she's coming out.
But.
Not at this point.
It was an amazing show.
I also, I took one prop bet during the,
prop bets are bets that are like,
about the stupid stuff.
Funny, silly.
Yeah.
I took one prop bet and my prop bet was
that the first song that Kendrick would sing
would be Squabble Up and I was right, I called it.
I mean that was.
I mean I, well yeah, I started dancing
and singing Squabble Up and it was amazing.
I mean, out of all, like so unlikely,
like it was just, I mean one of the best moments
of my life was
him starting to sing Squabble up.
I wanted to see more of that.
It was just so delightful to watch.
On TV, it was a flash in the pan.
On TV, it was like five seconds.
I mean, I've seen the clip over and over and I'm like,
yeah, like we could barely see it
cause we're like so high up.
So we wouldn't have even known it was her.
It was so far away, you know?
But yeah, I would have liked it to be on her
a little bit longer. Cause I was like, oh, it was so far away, you know? But yeah, I would have liked it to be on her a little bit longer, because I was like,
oh, that was really interesting and really,
she just looked cool.
I was like, I was into it.
Where were you sitting?
We were sitting in a box seat on like the,
not the farthest up, but like,
Taylor Swift's box was like above ours.
So there's like two rows of boxes, and hers and Trump's were like above ours. So there's like two rows of boxes and hers and Trump's were like above ours
We're in like the 300 level. She was in the 400 level and we were in a box with
Bill Belichick and his his girlfriend Jordan who I talked to for a really long time and I really like
She's gonna get me on a supplement. We were talking about supplements and how
Just aging and how just aging
and how I feel like I'm getting cloudier.
Tell me about this supplement.
I'm all about supplements now.
She's gonna send me a list.
And then she said that in two weeks,
my life is gonna change.
A lick of things that you should take?
She's gonna send me a list of supplements
that's all natural stuff because she's like really researched
this stuff and she's, yeah, she was like, I'm gonna.
What about those Chinese herbs?
I haven't tried them yet, but I've ordered those Chinese.
Have you stopped taking those?
You haven't tried them yet?
No, because I'm slowly-
I think I just forgot.
Yeah, yeah.
No offense to the-
That's the hard part about the supplements.
It's like, you know they work.
It takes, I would say give it three weeks
because it takes 21 days for your blood to recycle,
like recycle.
Yeah.
But the hard part is just being consistent with it
The only consistent one I take is neutrophil. I like I take it every day and if I skip a day
I think my hair is gonna start falling out
So like if you if you make it about my like vanity, I'll do it every day
No matter what preview of supplements that she says you should know
No, I'll let you guys know when I get it because she's she's like, you know,
a lot of judgment going on with that relationship.
Just I would if I was everyone. Yeah, it's fun to make fun because it's a huge age gap.
And it's like it's obviously like ripe for just punch lines.
Like, why not? Even I've, you know, been known to make them.
And but I learned some stuff that I'm like, oh, I'm going to shut my mouth and I'm been known to make them. But I learned some stuff that I'm like,
oh, I'm gonna shut my mouth and I'm gonna not judge
because I know it's legit and she seems really,
really happy and she seems to have a really good head
on our shoulders and I think people are just like,
people are just, they don't like things
that look different to them.
And women are, I will throw myself in that,
I'm deeply threatened by men being tired of me once I age
and like how unfair it is that men get to age
and then they get to just get younger women
and throw us in the trash.
And I think it's threatening to women a lot.
That's why I think women hate it.
I think they, and then they make it about, it's disgusting, it's gross. And I think it's, again women a lot. That's why I think women hate it. I think they, and then they make it about,
it's disgusting, it's gross.
And I think it's, again, it's hypocrisy.
I think there's a lot of women that would be with older men
when they were younger for the advantages of just like
security, being with someone who's mature
and can like handle their success
and not be threatened by it because they're not a young boy.
There's a lot of reasons that meant women would want to be
with an older guy, but they have to go,
oh, I would never, I feel so sorry for her.
That's disgusting.
But I think it's like, once again,
I think everything stems from a little bit of jealousy
and you could probably track it to like,
there's something about it that threatens your bottom line.
And I know it threatens mine because I am fear that
when Chris gets Bill Belichick's age,
he could probably just go, if he's, you know, successful and with it enough, he could probably go replace me with a 23 year old that he meets on
a plane or whatever. Like there's something about it that threatens me. So, um, but I'm, I'm Jordan.
Yeah. It kind of what I get me horn again. But then, how did you guys start talking? Um,
she came up to me after the NFL honors.
So at the NFL honors on Thursday night, I saw her with him and I was like, oh my God.
What are you talking about?
We haven't even talked about that yet.
Oh yeah.
The NFL honors was on Thursday.
Then I flew to Pittsburgh on Friday.
So NFL honors was in New Orleans on Thursday.
I got in on Wednesday.
You flew on the private jet, which we just have like a quick follow-up like how was I am and Shabuzy?
Um, it was John Hammond Shabuzy, baby
Like it was so what did you choose to do?
Did you choose to engage in social activities for the flight or did you do the ten minutes of talking and everyone takes a nap?
it was kind of that it was like
25 minutes of talking and then
It was kind of that. It was like 25 minutes of talking and then like kind of like here and there kind of in and out of talking and like then like no sleeping because I just
no one needs to see that. I would have had to get out my like disgusting pillow, eye
mask. So I kind of just like closed my eyes. Like I was one of those girls that could just
like lean back and like just like kind of look out the window and close my eyes with
my mouth shut and it would stay that way. So yeah, I just, I just pretended maybe. And
then I was just like too anxious about everything I had going on. And, and it was a really nice
jet though. I don't know if honors really hooked up those who presented and I was really
just so appreciative that I got asked to do it because it was such a fun event. So then
we, yeah. So it was like nice small talk
Jen John Hammond his wife are so nice Shaboosie and his
Team was these two guys that were with him were so nice
It was just like the nicest kind of people that you could be around
Yeah, and John Hammond and I and Chris are all from st. Louis that we had that in common and we talked about
You know growing up in st. Louis and his wife is really smart, really cool,
really interesting girl and had the best fashion.
If she would have just been a stranger,
I would have taken a picture of her outfit
and said, Emily, let's source all of this.
And by the way, she's not wearing socks.
She's wearing no-show socks and it seems to be fine
and it seems to look really, really good.
And yeah, and oh, I told Emily, I was, and she was like, no way.
And I was like, yeah, I was, she was like,
you should take a picture.
I was like, there's no way I was going to sneak a picture
of Jon Hamm's wife.
Jon Hamm's wife's socks.
There, no lack of socks.
And to prove that it looked cool, I couldn't,
I couldn't do it.
And her jewelry was cool.
Like I wanted to take a picture of her,
the way she stacked her
rings and her bracelets. Like she was just a very well put together person as was Jon Hamm. I was
like cut every little, you know, Jon Hamm was great. His jeans were cool. His bag was cool.
Yeah. You got to be on the field and introduce the chiefs and he did a great job. And then
Bradley Cooper introduced the Eagles.
But John Hamm was, they were both amazing at introducing.
I couldn't really tell because our screen had a delay.
So like their voices was different
than what they were saying.
It played well.
John Hamm was like Fargo-esque John Hamm
and he had this like extreme aggression.
He had pierced nipples?
Yeah, pierced nipples, big schlong and an outdoor hot tub.
Jon Hamm, he brought him out in style.
Bradley Cooper had his daughter with him, so he had to tone it down slightly, but he
was also amazing.
That was a cool feature of the Super Bowl, which I don't recall seeing in the past.
Celebrities bringing out the teams.
Calling them out as they come out of the...
Ooh, Samuel L. Jackson was a really cool part of... Oh yeah, that was awesome. the past. Celebrities bringing out the teams. Calling them out as they come out of the.
Samuel L Jackson was a really cool part of. Oh yeah. That was awesome. Like narrating
it. Yeah. Doing like the Greek chorus throughout it. I thought it was so cool. Okay. So plane
ride land go to hotel. Shibuzy were like right next to his room and it's weird because when
you're I've been listening to that's tipsy song for really like all the room. And it's weird because when you're, I've been listening to that tipsy
song for really like all the time. And so Chris and I are constantly just going like,
Oh my good Lord. Like we're just always singing it. And that's just like how Chris and I operate.
We just like sing all the time, little snippets of songs. And the amount of times I had to
stop myself from singing that in front of him was innumerable. You guys, so I you guys. I was like, I'm not even going to talk because every time I talk,
I want to say, oh my good Lord. Which by the way, I did have the thought that if our plane crashes
or something bad happens, I know that if there was like, there's an engine failure and it was
like boom boom, we would just hear we hear Shaboos go. Oh my
And that would have been made that would have made it worth it um
There was another plane crash in Alaska. I know
Three rule of threes that that should be okay. So it's over. Yeah, okay Can I just tell you what I've been doing for my own mind with the plane stuff that I think is really helpful?
Sure, yeah, and gives me a sense of control when there literally is none for my own mind with the plane stuff that I think is really helpful. Sure. Yeah.
And gives me a sense of control
when there literally is none.
Okay, so you guys know,
I believe in like manifestation and visualization
and all that stuff.
So I think a lot of times on planes,
when I get in my head about like,
oh my God, it's gonna crash,
I like start picturing the crash.
I start like picturing like all of a sudden a boom
or like, you know, a fucking helicopter chopping off all of a sudden a boom or a fucking helicopter
chopping off half of the fuselage or whatever it is.
I keep running that moment through my mind and I'm like, oh shit, when you visualize
stuff it fucking happens.
That's how I manifest is visualization.
I think I've talked about this before.
I just try to counteract that.
So I just picture myself getting my bag at baggage claim in the city I'm going to
going walking into my apartment, seeing my dogs, the cold air of the St.
Louis, like whatever temperature it is.
Like I start I counteract all the visualizations
with the visualizations of being home and how real that feels.
And then I just know in my heart that that's what's going to happen.
I just know it.
And I don't know if it'll help you if you struggle out there with flying and
being scared.
But when you have one of those thoughts, just counteract it with the thought of
what's it gonna look like when you land?
When you walk past that Auntie Anne's in Terminal 3,
when you are getting to your hotel, you might not know what your hotel looks like,
but just picture checking into a hotel with some jazz music playing in the
background if it's New Orleans. You know what I mean? Try to picture the opposite
of that and that's what's given me some kind of control because I got to say my anxiety
with flying has amped up 900%, which is nine times the amount. I'm very little anxiety
on a plane. I would almost say it's almost none. So going up to 900% is not a ton.
I would say it's way less than most people's normal anxiety,
but it's definitely more prevalent.
It honestly feels like now,
when I used to smoke weed before a flight,
sometimes to be like,
oh, I'm just, you know,
I'm not doing anything for the next five hours.
I should smoke weed.
I would get, I would have anxiety
because I would start thinking about bad things, you know?
And my mind would wonder, it's like that, but I'm not high. I would have anxiety because I would start thinking about bad things, you know, and my mind would wonder,
it's like that, but I'm not high.
It'll go to that.
And so it's just, that's been helping me a lot
and remembering that there's 48,000 flights a day
and nothing happens. 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 you chose to drive to your place. Yeah, they don't report all the car accidents that are happening at once. No, they don't.
And I'm not about to go on a tour bus.
I heard some comedians switched over from planes
to buses because they're scared.
And then I have so much more anxiety on a tour bus.
When I was on Burt's tour, I like,
did I talk about this already?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, sorry, okay, nevermind.
I had a feeling I already did. You also had that this weekend.
Oh, yeah, I did Burt's show.
So anyway, I went to Pittsburgh.
So NFL honors on Thursday.
Yes.
Waiting for the car after the show.
And it's like, you know, the valet kind of area, but it's like a big, it means everyone
that's in the show, all the athletes,
which there is, it's so many athletes.
I mean, Chris was like, we were sitting right in front of,
Roger Goodell was sitting literally in the seat in front
of us in this theater.
It was wild.
He's not an athlete, but was he one at some point?
He's a financial athlete.
That's a good point.
So I just kept going, no turf, no turf.
You're trying to accept him?
That was actually before I knew about that.
He's got to be dreaming for that to work though.
So I was just hanging out by, oh, and during the NFL honors, Snoop made a joke about Belichick's
girlfriend and him.
Oh, yes.
And so they cut to them and she looked so hot.
I loved her dress.
I thought she looked amazing.
Oh my God.
And I really liked her.
And people were saying there was like some backlash,
which I don't really think there was.
I think it was just like a fake headline
where one person tweeted,
this is inappropriate for this event.
And so they made a headline out of it and said like,
people are in an uproar about her outfit being too, you know,
inappropriate for this event.
And it was so not inappropriate.
If JLo wore it, everyone would be applauding.
Or like people just want to make her out to be just a sex object.
That's so funny how that's what the media is now is they find one person's tweet and then they extrapolate that to the rest of the world. And they say people are in an uproar.
It's two tweets and they can say, you know, NFL fans call for the, you know.
Foxnews.com does that all the time.
As you know, I have an account in Foxnews.com.
They're engaged in the comments, but they'll say that they'll be like, people hated what
yeah.
I haven't, did I not say that to you or is that
that would be insane to go in there I couldn't even imagine what those that comment section
truly you know the comment section is incredible like it really has become a more tolerant place
over the last I mean it's honestly like there has been a little bit a surprising amount of like
self-awareness in those comments not there's still like the usual I think like the most of the
Real extreme people are on X and like Fox News comms comment section has a good mixture of opinions
Anyway, they'll do that all the time on Fox News comm what they say like people were people were really angry at blah blah blah
Choice of words during this and they have like two tweets. Two tweets of people who have like six followers each.
Who are no one.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Please everyone be more savvy and know that when it says
like people are upset about something,
it's not based on literally anything.
It's hopeless, it's hopeless.
We've talked about this with AI.
Besties are smart enough to like fucking.
People are not, people, we're done.
See through that.
No, we're, I literally wrote on the Bethany Frankel thing,
I said, I go, it was so gross, the Taylor Swift bullying,
it was so gross.
I said, and all of these comments,
I love how hypocritical all these comments are.
If any of you saw Taylor Swift on the street,
you would scream, probably start crying,
ask for a selfie.
I said, this, I go, America is cooked.
I just learned that phrase, but I love it.
And America is fully cooked and we're done.
Ready to serve.
Serve it up.
Only complaining now.
I'm not looking for solutions.
Y'all, I'm just complaining.
Like I'm through my, like, I'm, I am immune to it.
Like I'm immune to, I don't let a lot of it in,
but it found me because he had,
grandpa had to show up at prom.
That's how I felt when I found out
he was coming to the Superbowl.
I was like, why is grandpa coming to prom?
No one wants, this is a fun place.
Anyway, so, so, oh, so I'm sitting,
I'm standing by the waiting for the car.
And then, so I had seen her on screen and I really liked her reaction to the joke Snoop
Dogg made because she just like kind of like laughed and like just looked like classy and
just handled it well.
Wasn't like rolling her eyes or being like shocked.
She just was like, you know, really just class classy stuff.
And so she came up and I go, oh my God.
She goes, hi, I just wanna say I love you or whatever,
something really nice.
And I go, oh my God, I know you.
She goes, you do?
And I go, I think so.
And she was like, how?
And I'm like, aren't you?
I go, I think you're so,
you have such a great sense of humor about everything
and you just seem really cool and like, I just, I like
you. And she was like, wait, why do you, why would you know me? And I was like, I go, tonight
you were really cool when you were like, when they put you on the screen. And she was like,
I don't think you are talking about the same person. I go, oh no. And then I was like,
almost scared that I was, this woman was going to think that I thought she was Bill Belichick's
girlfriend, even though I would be like,
because I think most women are just like have a bad perception of her,
even though they shouldn't.
And I would be fucking honored if someone thought I looked like her.
And then I was like, wait, this bitch shouldn't be embarrassed
that I think that she's her.
But then Chris looked at me like, I don't think you know who that is.
And then she was like, yeah, well, I'm just here with my boyfriend, Bill.
And I was like, wait, that is you.
And she goes, I go, you were on the screen tonight.
And she was like, I was. And I was like, yes. And you were so fun. Like you laughed at it.
And so then it was anyway, she was a fan. She was like, and by the way, I was a fan before the Tom
Brady roast. I knew who you were and all that. Very, very nice. Like, no, my boyfriend, Bill Cower.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so, uh, I met her there. And then when I found out she was going to be in the box,
I was like, oh great, like I have a rapport with her at least.
And then she came to the box and I just was like, hey Jordan.
And then she just sat down and we talked for like probably 40 minutes.
Had a really good time talking and like she had, you know, she's someone that I will say like,
it's just on girls chat.
We were talking about like,
when you meet someone and all they do is talk about
themselves and they don't ask a single question about you.
And how that's a very thing that thing that happens
to everyone and then if you do say something about yourself,
they kind of just like stare at you
and then have no follow up and I'm sorry like,
what'd you say?
Or they'll make it about them.
Yes.
And okay, let's be honest, like there are a lot of people that are boring and maybe it would
be hard to come up with things.
Like, I can always come up with something to ask someone about themselves.
But I know that I'm, you should ask me some questions about, like, I've got a pretty interesting
life.
I don't think it's like, I know what it is, but on the paper, I think it looks interesting enough that if
people have questions for me, I'm like, you're an idiot. Like, you know, like come up with
something like, but I know it's a struggle for, you know, someone who might have like
a job that like, you know, they're a consultant of some sort. And you're like, I don't know
what to say about that. But like, I got a lot to work with. So you should ask me anyway.
She she had so many questions for me, but it was know what to say about that, but like, I got a lot to work with, so you should ask me. Anyway, she had so many questions for me,
but it was really like interesting stuff
about how I just handle being in this industry
and how I cope with the judgment,
or like kind of, you know, related to the stuff
she struggles with, but in a different way.
And it got me really thinking about my career.
She was like, you know, athletes talk about,
she was like, athletes really focus on what's gonna happen after they kind of age out of the business, you know, athletes talk about, she was like, athletes really focus on what's
going to happen after they kind of age out of the business.
You know, like they have a deadline, their bodies like fail them at some point.
And like, as a woman in entertainment, because we were talking about aging, she was like,
there's kind of an expiration date.
It's not like explicit, but things drop off.
She was like, do you, do your agents like talk to you about a plan for like when
that happens? And I'm like, no, they don't.
And not because they're bad guys or because they're not good at their job or
they're not trying to foresee the future. It's because it's like this unspoken
thing. Like everyone likes to pretend it doesn't happen, right? Like athletes,
it's kind of like you, it's even with athletes, I feel like it's kind of,
you don't really want to talk about it.
Such a sad thing that it eventually happens,
but retirement is a thing that's talked about and like, what are you going to do after you retire feel like it's kind of, you don't really wanna talk about it, it's such a sad thing that it eventually happens, but retirement is a thing that's talked about
and like, what are you gonna do after you retire?
Because it's imminent.
But as a woman in this industry where you turn 50
and everything dries up, including the roles for you
and people wanting to see you on TV,
everyone kind of acts like it doesn't happen.
And so I said to her,
we don't really talk about it, but I'm aware of it. And I'm working on, that's why I'm taking months off to get a
facelift and do things that are like going to keep my career going as long as I can on
television. But I thought that was a really interesting point. She was like, well, they
should talk about that with you. And I'm like, I think I might be offended if they did, if
they did bring it up. But also, it is something that I'm planning for. And I'm like, I think I might be offended if they did bring it up. But also, it is something that
I'm planning for. And I just thought that was a, that's an interesting thing because we do have a
shelf life. And I think models also probably don't get, their reps don't talk to them about it, even
though models, it's a very, it's almost like it's exactly like athletes. But I bet it's not even as,
it's almost rude to bring up with women. Once you retire from comedy, what are you going to do?
Are you going to become a commentator?
Yes, I'm going to do color commentary of comedian specials.
But I think it's because it's rude.
When women age, talking about women aging is rude.
Whereas talking about a man aging is just a fact.
And it doesn't, because it doesn't diminish what you are.
It doesn't mean that people, it doesn't,
you know, it definitely sucks and you guys feel it
and you become a little bit more invisible
to the opposite sex, but it doesn't,
it's not mean to say a guy is aging.
It's like not a rude thing to say to him.
Whereas a woman, it's like,
it's, you would never
ever, you don't ask a woman her age. You don't talk about like, it's just unspoken. I think we
just need to speak about it more. And I think it needs to be on women to also talk about it more too.
Sure. Men definitely have a better deal when it comes to aging. remember the Bill Burr joke where he's like, men aging, once women get around
children bearing age, then men start to surpass them
in terms of how they age and how they're reacted to
by society, but then once they get old, women just shoot
above them and men become these, they're like impossibly
disgusting and they can't even think anymore,
and women are still playing cards and they're still with it.
I don't think that's like the most I would still take the man aging route I think.
But certainly when you reach a certain age it's like like my downstairs neighbors in
her 90s now and she still drives and she still has taken her dog out for walks.
She's perfectly with it.
I just can't imagine even meeting a man
who's in his 90s who could even walk.
Yeah, it does.
You guys seem to become a little bit more helpless.
I was getting a ride from the airport, actually,
from a really, really old man
that was assigned to pick me up.
And I felt really bad for him
because he was kind of like swerve.
It was like getting a drunk driver, honestly.
That's what it was, but it was one that I couldn't say,
hey, this isn't okay.
Because it would have been ageist.
Yes.
He was old and drunk, this guy.
It could have been, but I did get a joke out of it because his mouth was doing that like dry mouth thing.
It was just like, it was, it was real like every time. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like an old
man kind of thing. He was very sweet. And I think I kind of at one point was like, just
get over like, cause it was like such bad traffic New Orleans, and all I want, I had this three hour window to take a nap,
and I had not slept the night before,
and I'm just looking at the clock,
watching the Uber go from 20 minutes to 25 minutes,
then 27 minutes, and I'm like, if he doesn't get over,
it's gonna add another 36, and I was just like,
no, now, get over now, and I felt so bad,
but I had to kind of like, ugh, and he was just too scared to get over I'm like you just got to get all like
you guys there was a space that you know where the car is like kind of a guy's on his phone he
doesn't look so they leaves a big space yeah and that's when you go in yeah you got to get in you
got to assert yourself you know but I felt bad I was like that's gonna be karma I shouldn't like
snap in an old man and I wasn't I wasn't rude but I did like kind of get an urgency that I'm sure he didn't appreciate.
But then what a gift was given to me by his chappy mouth because it ended up being a punchline later on.
Not about him, but I compared, you know, my vaginal dryness to like the sounds of his mouth.
And it got a good laugh.
So, you know, just to let you know,
it might not be dry mouth, it also could be dentures.
People make that same noise when they're,
because they're not, their teeth keep moving around.
It's like a nightmare and they have to keep,
especially when they first get them.
Okay, that's a good point.
I think it was that, yeah, like you,
when you don't have teeth,
you, your mouth has to constantly do that.
Yeah.
You have to do that a lot. I do know that.
And I have empathy for it because I'll be there someday too. So I felt a little bit
bad because I was like, I'm going to be old and not really know when to turn and not know
how to turn on, like not know how to operate the van door. Like I can't get mad at this.
It's just not fair because hopefully we'll all be there. I think there's going to be
a climate disaster before I'll reach that age, but we're like, you know, a civil war in which I'll
literally shoot myself right away because I don't want to live in war. But that's why I want a gun
for the civil war is just to turn on myself. The moment that they declare it, you're like, okay.
I'm not, I'm sorry. Shout out to everyone who's been through war and survived it.
I'm not doing it. I don't want to live who's been through war and survived it. I'm not doing it.
I don't want to live through it.
It seems like so terrible.
It seems like, and then once you get through it, you're scarred for life.
No, thank you.
I'm out.
And so then anyway, back to the NFL honors.
This is really just all over the place.
But I will say that, oh, we have to go to break.
Oh, so I'll tell you about the Super Bowl. I mean,
I guess I have the Burt Show to talk about and the Super Bowl when we get back after this.
Don't miss Real Life Amigos, Wilmer Valderrama and Freddy Rodriguez in their new podcast,
Dos Amigos. Each episode is a party where the good friends get real with each other about life,
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and everything about everything.
And you're right there with them.
When I discovered acting, I just found my calling.
But a lot of that was just because I wasn't good at anything else, you know?
Join the two amigos straight from Wilmer's Speak Easy for a toast to good times.
Don't be surprised if some special guests and good friends drop in.
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Listen to Dos Amigos as part of the MyCultura podcast network
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I started to live a double life when I was a teenager,
responsible and driven and wild and out of control.
My head is pounding.
I'm confused.
I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.
Addiction took me to the darkest places. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it
into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours,
stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,
and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery,
a story told in 12 steps. Listen to Kre and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast,
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Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast.
Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm excited, I'm excited nervous.
You know, I'm a very spiritual person,
so I'm like, I'm ready and open.
That was amazing.
I feel so grateful right now.
I got to speak to my great grandmother, Abuela,
and she gave me a lot of really good advice
that I'm gonna have to really think about.
Wow, okay.
That's crazy.
Yes, that is accurate.
Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast
as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network, available
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Hey, this is Mel Reed, LPGA Tour winner and six-time Lady Geo-European Tour winner.
And Kira Kaye-Dixon, NBC Sports reporter and host.
You forgot to say All My Miss America, by the way.
And we've got a new podcast, Quiet Please, with Mel.
And Kira, we are bringing you spicy takes on sports
and pop culture, some golf haves,
and interviews with incredible people
who have figured out how to make golf their superpower.
Or just people we like.
Plus tales from the road and everything in between.
By the way, golf isn't just for the dads, brads, and chads.
Yeah, it's actually life's cheat code
and we're not gonna be quiet about it on or off the course.
We're bringing on some of our friends like Michelle Wee,
Heather McMahon, Amanda Ballyotis.
So, if you wanna keep up with us and here's Yapp,
tune into our new podcast.
Listen to Quiet Please with Mel and Kira,
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You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
So then I get back on, I go to Pittsburgh, amazing show, shout out Pittsburgh.
I really liked your Instagram story when you were writing.
It's like almost like ASMR in a way where you were writing great show Pittsburgh. I really liked your Instagram story when you were writing. It's almost like ASMR in a way, where you were writing Great Show Pittsburgh.
Thank you.
I really liked it too.
Isn't that so?
Thank you.
I shot it late at night when I got back to my room and I was binging on Skinny Pop and
I was like, this is kind of a fun thing.
I think I would watch that over and over because I love watching people write and I love the
sound of it.
It was a really good pen and I had the right of it. And it was like a really good pen
and I had the right amount of pieces of paper underneath it.
So it made this really nice sound.
Because if you're someone who knows
what I'm talking about with ASMR,
if it's like too chunky of a pad,
it's not as good of a sound.
Like you need the desk like kind of under it
with like two pieces of paper on top
and maybe like a mat underneath it.
So it was like a good sound.
And then I realized I cannot write.
Like there's no way for me to write without,
like I've forgotten how to write.
It's gonna look like shit.
So I have to go back and put in the T-T-S-B-U-R.
Like yeah, your muscle's atrophy, I think.
I relate to this so much.
I had to write a birthday card this weekend
and I was just like, oh my penmanship is disgusting.
It's done.
My Y's and T's are like stuck together.
It just.
It's like guitar.
Like if you set it down, like you.
It's like guitar.
I can't even write guitar.
Yeah.
That's a hard work, right?
You think that writing is so ingrained in us,
but it like really isn't.
Like I forget how to do it.
Nothing's ingrained in us.
No, it isn't. Everything can be changed do it. Nothing's ingrained in us. No, it isn't.
Everything can be changed.
Yeah.
You can, yeah, it's kind of nice
that we're completely malleable.
Yeah.
There's nothing that's like stuck in us.
It's both our greatest strength and our greatest weakness.
I love that.
So yeah, I wrote, thank you Pittsburgh on a pad of paper.
And then I put it posted on my story.
And I will do more of those because I enjoyed it too.
Thank you for that feedback, Brian.
But the show was amazing in Pittsburgh.
It was...
Who opened for you there?
Tommy Brennan.
Oh, the guy that I talked about on the here.
Remember when I was like,
I saw this guy this morning on Instagram reels
and I like was so impressed by him.
Yeah, now I remember.
But what was it?
What did he post on Reels?
It was a joke about Moses,
I think in the 10 Commandments or something.
And it was like, oh, there was a joke about like,
it's like, thy shall not covet thy neighbor's wife
or whatever, or covet thy neighbor's wife or whatever, or cover.
Like, yeah. And he's like, that's that one sounds like pretty specific.
Like we know what was going on in his like the other ones are like,
thou shall not kill thou shall not lie.
That was like really specific.
And they're like, is someone banging your wife?
He's like, no, no.
Are you sure your neighbor is it like it was something?
It just was so good.
And and I just, you know, like you just get a sense
about someone when you watch a clip of them
that they're gonna be a certain way.
Like I think I have a, I have a sixth sense
about when someone's gonna be my friend.
Like I just, like I think I might not be the best
at anything, but I'm pretty much the best
at determining when someone's gonna be a friend of mine,
almost like right away, like love at first sight
kind of thing with friends.
And I just was like, I think I want to be friends with this person. And so,
not only was he so funny, he just seemed kind. And boy was I right. You're gonna
love this guy, Brian. He's just, he's awesome. Where's he from? He's one of us. He's in New
York. He works at the cellar a ton. He's from Minneapolis originally.
That he went to Chicago.
He's from a family of eight kids, Catholic family.
Really just kind, funny, nice.
Was so appreciative of all the perks
of working with me on the road.
Emily was like, Tommy's so sweet.
She was like, I asked for his dinner order.
And he's like, man, usually I'm just scrounging
for snacks backstage. I get an actual meal that I get to choose what I want and yeah, you know, I was like, what do you want from Starbucks?
He's like, whoa
Really?
Like really just sweet sweet and it reminds you to that stuff like that novelty that reaction reminds you of how like oh
Yeah, what I have is actually special. And it makes me feel good. Like I love like treating people kindly,
but I love a good like, I love like seeing that I never
like am waiting for it.
Like, why isn't anyone thanking me?
Like I really don't search seek that out
because I just know all the people that I surround myself
with are good people that are thankful.
I've never felt taken advantage of,
but it is nice to see that initial like, whoa, that's cool.
And like, just to sweep it in like,
my cousin Maggie came backstage and he hung out
and like with us, with her,
like instantly just fit in the groove
was really, really nice.
And I just had so much fun.
A new friend in comedy as always,
a new young friend in comedy that kind of injects
an appetite for comedy.
I think he's 29.
At least he said his girlfriend who is also,
I mean, I think they're out.
I don't mean to like out them,
but she's a writer on SNL.
And I think he said she's 29 too.
So I assume he's 29, but her name is Casey.
I forget her last name.
She's really, really funny.
And she writes, she's written for SNL for like a few years now.
So she's like a savant, like comedian savant girl.
And yeah, he was just really nice and it was so much fun.
And he said that besties like have been coming to his shows
and stuff and reaching out to him.
So it was so nice that you all like supported someone
that I like kind of gave some flowers to.
It's so cool.
Oh, the final thought, I wanted to share what a thing that I cannot believe.
This was insane to me. This was so exciting.
I was on Reddit.
I follow the Reddit podcasts because I'm always looking for like new cool podcasts
to listen to, which, by the way, podcast recommendation
that is not a comedy podcast, it's not going to take away traffic from ours.
It is a podcast that has been talked about so much on the girls chat,
telepathy tapes, or as Sarah Lena calls it,
telepathy tapes, because it is hard to read that word and say it right.
I will I will attest to it.
You want to say telepathy?
Well, telepathy tapes is so good.
It's about nonverbal autistic kids who can communicate,
who are telepathic with their mothers often or with each other. And you guys, it's fucking
nuts and it's very well documented and it's like thousands of them. And it's like, it's
a real thing. They have telepathy. There's like, they do all these experiments. They
like show you all the control settings for it so that you know they're not cheating. There's nothing like, and these
people, these, these kids that don't speak and use like an iPad to talk, can their mother
has given a random word from a word generator and they fucking type it out. And their mother's
across the room thinking it numbers up to three digits. And they, they give them dozens
of these and they get it right 100% of the time. Whoa, it's like a counting, nevermind.
And I'm only two episodes in
and so I'm so excited to keep going on it.
But telepathy tapes, like I finally gave in
because Anya was raving about it
and then SarahLena was like, I can't sleep you guys
because I'm like scared that something like this exists.
Like I'm alone in my house
and like even though it's not a creepy podcast, like the fact that something is so out of this world and out of the physical
realm that there's, and scientists won't even like address this because they can't measure
they can't. Sometimes, you know, do you know any twins? Sometimes they experience this.
It explains why sometimes when you're thinking of someone, they'll call you. I mean, I think
a lot of that's like a coincidence, but like I do think I know It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like and we're only interpreting the data of what our limited senses can take.
Oh yeah, and the fact that they can't talk
opens theirs up or something, I don't know.
Like colors don't exist, they're just an interpret,
they're vibrations.
Try to explain the color red to a blind person.
You can't, you don't even know what to say.
You're like, well it's like a rose,
and you're like, well fuck.
There's literally no way,
it's such an interesting thought experiment.
And one thing that also makes me feel comfortable
Is that you can think the same way you think about colors you can think about time
Time is doesn't exist. It doesn't simply
brains interpretation of
vibration so
Maybe it gives me yeah, maybe everything is happening at once. Oh
Or it's happening in different,
that's what manifestation they think it is.
It's like when you visualize something,
you are tapping into the, what's it called?
The universe, there's like infinite different things
happening at once.
Dimensions?
Dimensions, where you are living a life
where that could have gone the other way, right?
And when you're manifesting, when you picture a dimension, you are tapping into that quantum
realm and finding that dimension and making it happen in your life.
So there is a dimension where I'm dying in a plane crash.
There is a dimension where I'm landing safely in St. Louis.
There is a dimension where I'm manifesting that million dollars or that call from that
crush or whatever, all the things that people try to manifest.
And you tap into that and then you make it happen
because they found that scientists were able to study
the things on a molecular level,
and when they looked at the molecules, they could see them,
but when they didn't, they couldn't see them.
So if you picture it, you can see it,
things would appear that you could only see
once you were looking at it.
I don't know.
It's both a particle and a wave.
Yeah, but also Joe Dispenza's book that
taught me all about that I found out he's a quack so I don't know I still believe in manifestation
but I don't know. He turned into a duck he manifested it. Yeah he manifested it. So anyway I'm on the
podcast subreddit and I see... let me pull it up I was gonna send it to you guys. The podcast of of what of telepathy tapes? Yeah, no, no, no, it's called just podcasts.
One second, sorry.
By the way, speaking of Reddit,
my someone posted once again,
my Ford F-150 big Al cartoon on Reddit.
It went viral and of course,
they cut off my tag.
Oh my God, they did.
Yeah, and I'm not referenced in it at all.
But it's nice to know at least that that's the second time it's gone viral on Reddit They cut off my tag. Oh my God, they did. Yeah, and I'm not referenced in it at all.
But it's nice to know at least that that's the second time it's gone viral on Reddit
without me getting credited.
But at least people think it's funny.
That is so rude.
And while you're looking that up, so for Super Bowl, I didn't really do anything except
Brian invited me to join his Super Bowl boxes.
Yes.
And I had no idea what that was.
Yeah, I didn't either.
So I was like, okay, fine.
So I sent him like 40 bucks and I ended up winning 50 bucks.
That's right.
But the coolest thing was that, so I always knew that Brian was an animator, but I didn't
know that you could draw.
Your boxes was so cool.
Like the chart.
Oh, yeah.
I gave everybody a personalized little like logo essentially for their box.
Cool.
Noah was a cactus.
I was a cactus.
I love that.
Oh, she's in Arizona.
Yeah.
And I'm so much a cactus.
Yeah, a prickly cactus filled with water.
Yeah.
I will say that it's not lost on me that I just complain about people not asking about
other people and I haven't asked about your guys' weekends at all, but it's just because
the podcast is what it is. If this were a conversation. Exactly. We just don't
have enough time and and I'm sorry I promise if Brian me and Noah were at lunch this would
not be the conversation. Well let me say one thing and that is box related. So huge success
the boxes were a huge success. It was the biggest pot I've ever done.
It was $20 a box, so it wound up being a $2,000 pot,
which means the winner of the final would get $1,000.
Whoa.
Noah won the five-five, which is when your box is five
and five, which is the worst possible box you can get.
So I give someone $50 for having basically no chance of winning
at all.
Okay.
But first point...
Wait, so is that cheating? Did you put me there on purpose?
No, the numbers are selected randomly.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So I feel good again.
Yeah.
Wow.
So the prizes are awarded per quarter. First quarter is the least, the half is the second
most, third quarter is third most most and then the big prize is the
final and the winner of the final this year winning a cool
$1,000
was Bill Dixon
Dixon pulled it in fuck yeah
I love that guy actually met two people last night from Love is Blind
and then they both were on The Bachelor
and they were like, Nikki, we know Bill Dixon.
And I was like, oh my God, isn't he the best?
And we just like sang Bill Dixon's praises,
which Bill Dixon was a producer on Bachelor
and then he was a producer on FBoy Island.
He's one of my best friends.
He, yeah, creator, sorry, creator of FBoy Island,
but executive producer on Bachelor.
And I originally saw Bill because Hannah's season,
she was getting out of a car and tripped on the sidewalk,
and I saw a producer run out to help her.
And I was like, oh my God, that never happens.
Producers are always just pushing people down.
They're not helping.
And I posted about it on my story, I think, at the time,
or Twitter, whatever was happening at the time this aired. And I was like,
this guy is amazing. Who is this? I love seeing this.
You never see this like Bravo to this producer for like being a real human.
And then years later, Bill was like, Hey, you posted about me once.
I was like, I remember you.
Bill also has a viral tweet that always gets recirculated. That's, um,
when he was a waiter, he reweighted on Ludacris and Ludacris sent back some And Bill also has a viral tweet that always gets recirculated.
When he was a waiter, he waited on Ludacris and Ludacris sent back some spring rolls and
Bill went back to apologize for the spring rolls not being good.
And he was like, he just said, yeah, sometimes spring rolls are like that or something like
that.
And Bill said, and I think about it at least once a week.
And Bill was the original person that did the joke that you see all the time on Instagram
that's like, and I thought about it every day ever since. whenever you see that line of like, and I've thought about it at
least once a week the rest of my life. That is that's that's someone copying a joke format.
That's not original throwing up in your mouth is a little bit is an original checks notes.
Checks. Yeah. Lives rent free in my head is not original. It's not funny. The first person
who said it was but everyone else has not been and so Bill Dixon was the first person
to say,
and I've thought about it every day ever since.
I know that, that would blow my mind.
If I wasn't a comedian, it would blow my mind
that that was a written thing
that someone had to conceive of first,
and that everyone else said no one ever.
Yes, exactly, like, just look out for those things.
Like, people that use those aren't funny.
They're, like, copying people who are funny.
Anyway, but you shouldn't be mad at them, because they're just not funny people. They're just trying, they're just trying people who are funny. Anyway, but you shouldn't get, you shouldn't be mad at them
because they're just not funny.
They're just trying to live their lives.
That's like me going like,
womp, womp, or like so like doing a musical thing
that someone's like,
well, someone originally composed womp, womp.
That was Dizzy Gilepsy's.
Gilepsy.
Dizzy dyslexic.
So, oh wait, by the way,
can we just real quickly like, tell me your thoughts on
the game and like what a blowout. I mean, I was, I was on a group chat with you, so I kind of saw
your thoughts on it. But yeah, well, quick thoughts on the game is that it was really boring. Just
like, I mean, no offense, but like every chiefs game this year has been boring. They've just slowly
win games every time. And it was interesting because even in when they're losing
in a blowout, it was boring.
And you could see in the very end of the game
when Patrick Mahomes threw that bomb to Xavier Worthy,
that it was within the Chiefs as an organization
to be exciting this year.
And for whatever reason,
whether it was just sheer
confidence or they didn't want to show their hand too early,
they never tapped into that.
Like I would say like pure just playing the game.
That I'm used to seeing from the Chiefs who are,
used to be like the most exciting team to watch.
I was wearing all Chiefs stuff so people were looking
at me like, huh, sucks to be you.
And I was like, I don't to be you, and I was like,
I don't really care, to be honest with you,
I don't care, I just, like,
I also am happy for the Eagles
because I like that the owner donated to Kamala
and he did some other cool stuff
that was on the right side of things,
so I thought he was cool.
And I like Philadelphia a lot,
I think it's one of my favorite cities of all time.
Yeah.
Not to, you know, I don't know about Eagles fans
or whatever people think about them.
But so I didn't really care.
And I just look cute and red and I'm a Swifty.
Like that's, and I know Travis and I know Randy Mahomes.
Like it doesn't matter why I cheer for whatever,
but I will say that I felt bad for them in the last quarter
when it was kind of like the game is over.
Like how, I know this happens all the
Time but like I was looking at Chris like why don't we just like why don't they just say you know
Just take it like you have to like keep trying
It's like so embarrassing that you like it's almost like when I'm bombing really bad on a set and you have to like do
Your time and you're like these people don't want it the people in the audience hate me
They want to go home or you know wherever, go back to their hotel rooms
because they're at a conference where they were,
I was thrust on them because it's a corporate gig.
But I still have to do my time.
And it's like, can we just all agree
that this isn't going well?
But instead I have to keep trying.
And do I keep trying?
Do I give it my all?
Will it change anything?
At what point was it so far gone
that there was no coming back?
When would you say that was the point?
Oh, halftime.
I mean, no team has ever come-
Oh my God.
Really?
But didn't the Patriots come back from a 24-point?
28-3.
Okay.
Yeah, 28-3.
There was 27-3 at halftime.
It's so interesting because people say that Mahomes is the greatest of all time and not
Tom Brady. Although the one time that they faced off in the Super Bowl, or the one time they
faced off in the Super Bowl, Tom Brady won. So head to head. But then also it's like Mahomes is
down by 24 points at halftime in the Super Bowl. No one's ever been able to come back from that
type of deficit except one person and he happened to be announcing the game and it must have taken so much composure.
Oh, I was so happy for Tom Brady.
I was sad for everyone associated with Mahomes family and all the people that Chiefs fans,
you're sad for them.
People whose happiness depends on this, it sucks.
Winning a three-peat would have been nice.
I was like, Tom Brady is happy right now, and I'm on board with that.
Tom gets to keep the GOAT title for now.
It's not going anywhere.
This was, you know, and I was dying
to have been at home to hear his commentary,
because I bet his voice would have gotten
so much more chipper and excited throughout,
towards the end.
Was there a noticeable elation that you
could sense in his voice?
Hard to tell.
I mean, there's not a lot of range.
But Tom Brady, though, did reference the roast.
That's right, in a commercial.
In a commercial, a Duracell commercial,
very self-deprecating, where Tom Brady is they they made it seem like
We were just cutting to them in the booth
So like it wasn't a commercial and then Tom Brady like shuts down like he's a robot and we're all like what the fuck
That's supposed to be the game
That's funny and then they come in and the Duracell experts like we need to replace let me to check his batteries
They open up his arm and he's got non Duracell batteries and everyone's like what the fuck?
This is the Super Bowl. They put Duracell batteries into his arm. He's funny. He turns back on and then
Kevin I forgot his last name the other announcer
Says Tom. Are you okay? And Tom Brady goes why has everyone been asking me that since the roast?
And then the moderator goes, why has everyone been asking me that since the roast?
That's great.
That's so funny.
Good for him because he could have been like,
no, we're cutting that line.
You know, like, okay, so we have to go.
You're going to have to listen to tomorrow's episode
to find out what I saw on the subreddit podcast.
That is very interesting to me,
but I know you'll be there tomorrow.
You guys always are.
Thank you for listening today.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Don't be good.
Bye.
The Nikki Glaser podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart
Podcasts.
Created and hosted by me, Nikki Glaser.
Co-hosted by Brian Frangy.
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sani, and Noah Avior.
Edited and engineered by Lien and Loaf.
Video production, Mark Canton.
And music by Anya Marina.
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