The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #511 Insane Crowds, So Much Karaoke & Giving Sean The Chill Pill

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Nikki had some of her best crowds over the weekend, and even though she was literally in the middle of nowhere, she still went out and had an awesome time. This morning, though? Not so much—she had to kick off the day with a sizzle reel, and she's definitely feeling it. Brian and Sean are all about supporting her, letting her know she’s already checked something off her "funeral prep" list. Nikki and her openers had an epic time on the road, especially with some wild karaoke nights after her shows. Also, brunch two days in a row? Just what the doctor ordered. On the flip side, Nikki’s a little let down by a travel experience, not quite what she expected. In the Final Thought: imagine a strip club with karaoke... yep, Nikki and her crew found one. Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram: @NikkiGlaserPod Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hookup. The hookup? The hookup for what? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Poppers? Why are there so many poppers? All roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it.

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories

in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome. My name is Paola Pedroza, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast,

where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective. I think God sent me this gift so I can show it to the world. And most of all, I help people every single day. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli.

The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. This podcast is based on my co-host Mark Seale's best-selling book of the same title. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Cobola, Robert Evans, James Kahn, Talia Shire, and many others. Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Nikki Glaser. Everyone here? Noah? Hi.

Hey. Brian? Hi. You're on camera. Don't forget to like look ahead. Sometimes I watch the YouTube and I'm like, we're all just like looking down in the corner like we're just recording audio. It's a T-Rex head. But no, this is realistic for me because I don't make eye contact with people. That's a good point. Okay. Sorry. You're giving the viewers a real experience of being in front of the, okay.

And Sean O'Connor also is joining us. Hey! Hey, oh, listen to that crispy, clean, crystal clear mic. I got a mic now. Yeah, buddy. You can really hear how terrible my voice is. I know, you just had the option to put the headphones into the mic so that you can hear your own voice and Noah

Noah had offered that and you said God no, no, I don't want to hear my own voice You you opted out. I don't mind hearing my own voice when it's live. I don't want to hear it later Right, yeah same for me. Do you feel the same way? Okay. Yes. I like hearing my voice live Yeah, I want to hear it because it makes me feel like I'm being recorded. And then I, I don't know, I feel like it like gives me a little bit of a boost. It makes me feel like I'm on stage. Yeah. Like it's like as the would be doing stand up in your room as opposed to like honest. The stakes are higher. Interesting. I'm the exact opposite. I never want to hear myself.

Honestly, whenever I pay too close attention to how I sound on stage, all I hear is like a ping on the mic. And then I just start thinking about that the entire time. I just like, I like to pretend we're not being recorded so I could be super unfiltered. Oh, see, that's so interesting because I'm way better when I'm the pressures on and I

am not good at all when the pressure is off. Like I look at like video that Emily takes of me over the weekend to like make into a reel. And if I don't think I'm being recorded or I haven't like prepared something to do, I am so uncharismatic. I look like a child laborer in the like 1809 or something. Like the joy is drained from my face. I'm like kind of, there's like, I'm devoid of talent.

I can't even, I can't, I'm like, why did I even think I could do a reality show at any point where I would be interesting all the time? I'm so boring to watch most of the time. And then Kirsten's mom did a really good impression of me as a child or as a teenager, because she said that people ask her what I was like, and it's just crossed arms, staring at the ground,

like kind of looking pissed, like biting my lip. And that is like, I think that's based on the footage that Emily has taken of me, I think that is my stasis. That's interesting. You don't get any benefit from doing anything other than getting praise or like you need to be watched and seen and you need to get that praise from people watching you. So much so that if no one's watching you, you'll get nothing out of your own personal... Yeah. I mean, but I will go as far as to say I'm well, I'm having a really bad self esteem day. So let's just take everything I say with a thousand grains of salt. But I had

to watch, you know, there were working on putting together a highlight reel of my career for like the intro video for my tour. And I had to watch that today. And'm just like why is this bitch famous like what have you done? Like you are just so bored. Like I just like was like I was like an internet troll on myself I wanted to cyber bully myself so hard. I could have taken me down so bad and like I think I'm just constantly I just was like I came home and I was at Starbucks watching it because I had been avoiding watching it forever because I don't want to watch myself and I don't want to have to give notes on it. But you have to because if I don't give notes on it, then Chris and Emily just give notes and then when it's not up to stuff, when I eventually have to see it, I'll be like,

I hate it. And they'll be like, well, you didn't give notes. So I have to watch it. I'm at Starbucks watching it. And I came home and I like was crying to Chris about how I just can't, I can't be, I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I can't, I think I'm quitting. I just can't, I can't believe anyone is entertained by me. I can't believe that I've tricked everyone. Like imposter syndrome is, is working overtime today. Like I'm just like, and then I had

to watch a highlight reel of my life that I'm just like, just give up today. Like I'm just like, and then I had to watch a highlight reel of my life that I'm just like, just give up already. Like it. Yeah. But listen, now you have it for your funeral, which is great. Like. Yeah.

I just want to be buried in an unmarked grave. No one can find me. I want them. I want what everyone talks about is about how you can't find my grave so that everyone doesn't focus on my lack of talent. I don't even expect. I could send you, like if we made a highlight reel of like 10, 15 people that are even more famous than you, I think you'd see why you're famous also. I mean, like, no one else has,

nobody has any, if you look at just highlights of people, very few people, unless you're an athlete, have actual talent. Yeah, I agree. I think that's why I told about the highlight reel. I don't want any jokes. I don't want any like set up punch. I don't want to hear the audience watching this video and not laughing because they're not in the show, right? They're not in the performance where that joke had context.

And so I said I only want non sequitur and I had requested non sequitur to begin with, but I almost I did the snarky thing of looking up the definition of it, to put it in the email to like, unless, unless you don't know what it means, it means it means nothing outside. It means it's completely untouched. But then I didn't do that because I'm like, they know what that means. So I just want it to be little moments here and there that aren't trying to be funny.

I don't want anyone to laugh at this reel. But the audience would laugh at the reel if you put jokes in there. I mean, I've seen a million pre-roll, like, here's what's coming up next at the Comedy Attic videos, and people do laugh at the bits played before the show. I don't think they do. If it's good, they do. They do, it is weird. coming up next at the Comedy Attic videos and people do laugh at the bits played before

the show. I don't think they do. If it's good, they do. They do. It is weird. I was always like, oh no, I remember being at the Comedy Attic and Nape or Godse. And knowing that your video had played the week before. Oh no.

I was more like, they played Nape or Godse before me and I was like, I don't think I'm going to do as well as that video. I can't follow this. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. I always was like, oh, my God, that means that my video was playing all last week during someone else's shows. And like that comic had to see me bomb in front of them. No, your video is crushed. I saw those videos.

OK, thank you. Yeah, very good videos. I don't mean to be like when when tell me how great I am. I'm more be like, when, when, tell me how great I am. I'm more trying to relate, maybe anyone else can relate to just feeling like, what, like, fraudulent and what's the point, and like, oh my God, I have to like, keep this up. I feel like, what's his name? Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie

where he just is like, pretending to be other people, and he can't stop. Catch me if you can. Or he'll just like, he has no other thing to do. Yeah. Catch me if you can. I'm kind of feeling like that. Maybe, but maybe you should change your perspective on what that pre-roll video is supposed to be. It's not necessarily supposed to be there to entertain or to make people laugh. It's supposed to be there to get people amped. It's more like a lie to me though. That feels dishonest because it's like,

are you ready? And it's like the words come out and it's like, it's time for Nick. And it's just like boom, boom, boom. And it's like just, it's too, it feels like I don't like what it, I can't follow that in other words. Like I really can't. And like, I can't follow that, in other words.

I really can't and it's just me going like, I guess I've always wanted, it's about like, I don't know, I think I'm just gonna kill it. It's all these confident moments where I've had enough caffeine in my system and just was in a good enough mood on the red carpet and thinking about messages I wanna send to younger girls instead of whatever this is that I'm talking about.

That's probably a bad example for younger girls of me hating on myself so that they go, well, I don't achieve as much as you that I should probably think I'm worthless. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it's never enough and I'm just having a bad day. I'm just tired.

Today is a day on my schedule that says no work. It says, once every 10 days, I want a day with nothing to do, nothing. And podcast does it, it's fine. Like podcast, whatever. It's like, I can be myself and let my hair down, but. Well, no work is as short for nothing's working. Did you know that? Oh, whoa. Is that true? That is. That's true. That's just how it feels.

Feel that way. Look at the video. Look at the video. It's not for you. It's not it's not meant to make you feel good. Look at it in the perspective of the audience. And if you're buying a ticket and you're coming to see the Nikki Glaser show, you want to see that video and get amped. Even though you feel like you might not be able to meet that bar that you're setting, for the audience's sake, it is awesome to see essentially a trailer for your favorite comedian before they come out on stage. Think about the Burt shows or if you've ever seen an Andrew Schultz show.

I'm sure they did this in Vegas at the Burt show, right? Didn't they play like essentially a trailer for Burt? Yeah, but those guys just believe in themselves. Like that's like genuine behind it. I'm in the back chugging a Celsius, trying to feel something as this video is playing. And I'm cringing because I'm like, oh, this isn't me. Like a better video.

Like that's why I love Bo Burnham's song about, I wanna make you laugh, but I also don't respect you for laughing at me because I don't think that I'm good enough. I wanna care what you think, but not care what you think. I wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but I also wanna do what I wanna do, which is probably against what you even like.

Like I feel like, not that I don't, I do respect my crowd. That's absolutely, actually I respect my crowd more than ever now, because I'm doing weirder stuff than I've ever done and they're still by my side. But I just feel, yeah, I just, I don't know what the feeling is. I'm just like, it's getting too big. I feel too big and I can't fill those shoes.

I felt better in smaller theaters. Now I feel like, when I'm there in the moment, I don't want anyone coming to my shows thinking I'm not having a good time and I'm not in it and I don't feel like I deserve it in the moment. Because I actually do. When I'm out on the stage, all of this stuff goes away. It really does.

That's actually the reason I keep doing it. It's the fuel that makes me feel like none of these apprehensions I have or insecurities I have, it all disappears on stage. So it's like, it is real and I would never want to, and I will tell you the truth, if I was miserable on stage, I would say that, but I really am not. So I don't want anyone coming to my shows thinking I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this. I will say that I'm dreading it until I step out on stage. But the second I step on the stage, I am having so much fun.

And I am not looking at the clock waiting for it to be over. The only time I've ever felt that way really is at that Cabo show that we did, Sean, like where we bombed. That's the only time I'm watching the clock, like when is this over? Otherwise I am loving it, but I'm dreading any, I dread everything. I dread going out to dinner.

I dread, no, I don't love going out to dinner because I don't have to perform, but I dread any time I have to be on, and then when I am on, I'm having a good time. That makes sense. I can relate to that for sure. To go back to Brian's point is, you could have the hype video,

and it could be like super like you are the Chicago Bulls in the 90s like really hyped up and then you could get two minutes of just undercutting it as soon as you walk on stage. That's a good idea. I mean, one time I did that because I used to have one of these reels that was kind of like really selling it and I went out and I had a moment where I said, did you all enjoy that video that I had put together so that you would walk away feeling entertained tonight

because I don't feel like this show is good enough and at least you saw that and that was impressive. Like, and then they were just confused. Like people are confused when I shit on myself because it doesn't go with what the night looks like and it's not what they think of me as. And I have to kind of. Right, they don't see you like that.

Yeah, and I know I shouldn't even reveal this is how I feel about myself because no one wants their, like someone that they, I don't wanna say the word idolize or like are entertained by thinking, like I don't know if it makes, it's probably bad for business to say that I'm insecure

and I don't think I'm good, but I'm human and that's what's going on in my head. And I feel like most artists feel this way if they're telling you this. Why don't you just not watch the video? Because I know that I will see it when I'm off stage and I will go, why did you put that one thing in that's so embarrassing?

Can you not watch it before you get on? No, I'm like, you know, in the wings of the state. So I'll at least hear it. And I will hear it. And hearing is worse than seeing. If I could watch it on mute, I would be fine with it. I would have no notes. But what if we put you on wire so you're above the stage?

So after South play, you drop down. Oh, God, I don't know. There's gotta be a solution. I think I'm just tired. What about playing the video at the beginning of the show, and then Sean has to come out and undercut the video? Yeah, you have to follow it. Do you ever feel that way of like, even when you're having a, when you're having like these great,

a great moment in your life, you're like, oh, this just means I have to keep it. Like I really feel like if I had a kid, I'd just be like, I would just be worried about it. Like what if I, what if it goes away?

Like, you know what I mean? Like you can't even enjoy something cause you're just so worried about when it will go away or when, you know, like I keep thinking about, oh, you know, I'm playing these giant venues and selling out multiple shows. Next time around, everyone will make fun of me when I only do three shows in Boston and not six.

And they'll go like, yes, Nikki's failing now. And they'll like, they'll like talk about it amongst themselves and say, well, she had a big year, but then everyone figured it out or whatever. Like, do you think about that stuff? I have the exact opposite. whenever something really good happens for me I get mad and because I'm so bitter I'm just like it's about fucking time like why did it take this fucking long?

I have never felt that way in my whole life. No, I'm just like I always just think when something good happens to me I'm like, what if I just die right now? I like that. I like that because then you have it and you never have to do it and you never disappoint anyone. That is like, honestly, sometimes I go like, I think that's the best case scenario for me of having like, because everyone loves the story of like, what could that girl have been?

What would her potential have been? And you can just go bananas thinking about like, what a life this woman could have led. And the truth is it would have been probably mediocre, right? Like most things are. Eventually. And so I kind of want to get something and then like, you know. Well, that's then the trailer becomes an in memoriam.

And maybe that's what it should be. Maybe it should be. No, my in memoriam is going to be popular. Yeah. Oh yeah, we had to put that in the reel. And maybe that's what it should be. Maybe it should be. No, my in memoriam's gonna be popular. Yeah. Oh yeah, we had to put that in the reel. I didn't even think about that. All right, we gotta go to break and I'll come back in a better mood.

Bye. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre.

The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro?

I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to f- Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No. My psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["I Heart Radio App," by The I-Heart Radio App, playing in background.]

Listen to the hookup on the I-Heart Radio App, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Brat City, and Narcos, and Roadhouse, and so many commercials about back pain. And now, I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough.

Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buck wild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chao.

Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Canole. The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. Leave the Gun, Take the Canole is based on my co-host Mark's best-selling book of the same title. And on this show, we call upon his years of research to help unpack the story behind the godfather's birth from start to finish. This is really the first interview I've done in bed.

Ha ha ha ha! We sift through innumerable accounts. I see 35 pages in the real world. Many of them conflicting. That's nonsense. There were 60 pages. And try to get to the truth of what really happened. And they said, we're finished, this is over.

The movie's not gonna work. You gotta get rid of those guys, this is a disaster. Leave the Gun, Take the Canoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Kahn, Talia Shire, and many others. I guess that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Canoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Something about Mary Poppins? Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh man, this is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs and I am an author and a journalist and I tend to get obsessed with stuff. And my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The

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That's awful. And I should have seen it coming. All right. Feeling better. We just watched Nikki's hype video during the break. Oh yeah. Now she's in a better mood. I'm back. I'm in a good mood. She saw all the highlights. I just don't know. Some days it's just like, what's the point of all of this? You just have to keep eating and working out

and trying to get rest and unpacking and cleaning your clothes and packing again. And I keep thinking that maybe the point of all of this be based on Instagram reels that eventually show up on my feet at 3 a.m. Which I've exhausted everything else that the point of life is love And I just don't even know what the fuck that means No, we're happy I don't think it is because then I see Elon screaming at me and or you know like happiness But like happiness is clean clothes that will eventually get dirty and I have to clean again.

Happiness is a warm gun. What? Happiness is unhappiness. It is striving towards something that is so far away that your life is dedicated towards getting that thing. And it seems like once people do reach that pinnacle and achieve that thing, they realize that, oh my God, what was the point of all this?

And then they lose even the concept of possibly being happy. Whereas if you're poor and you're working a nine to five and you're like, I gotta make enough money so that I can finally quit this job and go to Bermuda, the concept of being happy in the future is still something you have. But once you achieve that and you can just fly to Bermuda and quit your job, you gotta goon. Okay, hard disagree.

That's why I like gooning is because it's the promise of something good that is down the pike or pipe or whatever they say. And it hasn't arrived yet. Because once it arrives, it's only going to go away. It can maintain, but it's going to be really arrives, it's only going to go away. It can maintain, but it's gonna be really hard. It's not gonna feel as good as when you first got it. So it's diminishing returns no matter what, or it goes away. It doesn't get really better.

Okay, Noah, what's hard to say? Okay, hard to disagree. Because I feel like that kind of focuses on the financial aspects, which yeah, okay, that will make people less stressed, but I don't know if that equates happiness. Happiness is what I learned over the weekend is the ability to empathize and emotional regulation.

So if you can regulate your emotions and be an empathetic person, that means that you have a great social circle and really meaningful friendships and stuff. Yes. Oh, that's so inspiring. Cause to me, I was gonna hard disagree with both of you and say happiness is looking at your phone. I genuinely love looking at my phone. Let's talk about what makes,

when we are genuinely the happiest we are. That's dopamine. I mean, if you want to equate happiness with dopamine. Yeah, but isn't dopamine happiness? How the fuck do you, that's the, that's the feeling. That's the thing that goes off in your, that's the chemical that's rushing through your nervous system when you're happy.

Dopamine, it's not when you're happy. Dopamine is a chemical that's meant, that's meant to get you to do something to make you happy. That's what dopamine is. So when you're looking at your phone, you're searching for happiness and you're getting this feedback that, oh my God, I'm getting closer to the thing that's going to make me finally happy. That's what makes me happy though. Dopamine is what makes me happy. I do not like happiness. I just realized I don't like happiness. I like dopamine.

I'm hard of agreeing with Nikki. I don't actually know what real happiness is. Yeah. I definitely know what dopamine is. That's what you're supposed to be meditating for. You know what? I want to meditate so bad, but I'm too depressed today to meditate. I have no hope today. When you're in that kind of depression, I don't care about the cure. I don't want to find it. I don't want to do your little exercise. Nikki from last week who was like hopeful about meditating. I don't want to do it.

I don't even care about feeling happy. It's pointless because I'm just going to feel like this again, because last week I felt happy and now I feel like this again, what is the goddamn point? Um, That's how I'm feeling today. But I will say that the happiest I am is when I am done with something and I get to be on my phone, in my bed, watching ASMR videos with one AirPod in,

the other not because I have to sleep on my side and if you sleep your ear into the pillow with an AirPod in, it goes, air, air. Do you guys have that same thing happen? If it like pushes in your ear too much? I just put on a speaker. You do? I don't want, I can't have Chris hearing me listen

to these Asian women eat giant cakes. These, I can't have him hear these tiny Asian women eating cakes at two times the speed. I can't have him here. These tiny Asian women eating cakes at two times the speed. I can't have that. You don't want to know that that will make him horny. Or I like it's too embarrassing what I listen to but that is that is my happiness and then having the dog has already pooped and peed recently. That is also happiness. She's tucked in the bed next to me. She's not wanting to play.

She's been exercised enough. Okay, so dog is done. I have nothing on my to-do list. I'm on do not disturb, and no one's waiting for a reply from me on something. And I have at least 11 hours ahead of me with nothing to do. That is happiness. Before I have to wake up.

I agree with that. And then you're just free. Even more than 11 hours would be nice. Oh, I mean, I'm not getting greedy here. I mean, I would, it would be amazing. Two full days does not exist. Today I was supposed to have nothing to do. No work. And I woke up,

and Emily's so sweet. She texts me every morning with my to do, I need a response on this, and it's numbered one through literally 48. And it's like, and I'm like, this is not a day off. When I wake up at seven a.m. to walk my dog and there's a nine point checklist, and I know Emily's gonna text me right now being like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I love the list, Emily. And you need that information. Like that is, that is a crucial, but like I had to wake up this morning. And I know this is like, Nikki, I would kill for your life. I know there's a thousand people thinking that right now, at least of, but I had to wake up this morning and go through all of the pictures from this weekend,

which I don't want to see because I've recently gained weight. I didn't have a spray tan and I didn't like a lot of the dresses that I put on my body and I and my face is just doing things I don't like right now and my hair is breaking off. So I look like I always have like a halo and I've been to the magic house. If you're from St. Louis, you know what I'm talking about. And it's like hair sticking up on end. Like it's's, so anyway, I was going through all these pictures, then I had to format them, then I have to post them, then I have to write a caption that's like, and then I just picture like a comedian

reading my captions and being like, she's too sincere, she should be funny. And then I try to think of something funny and then I just give up because I'm like, I don't wanna, I hate trying to be funny. It's like so exhausting. So then I'm just sincere and then I post it and I don't wanna, I hate trying to be funny. It's like so exhausting. So then I'm just sincere and then I post it and I don't look at it.

I just, I wish I was that cool of a girl. Like there's some girls that just really make this look so easy and they're like very high fashion but they're still relatable. The only people that are consistently happy 100% of the time are idiots. I mean, that's the, like the people who are walking through life constantly constantly happy,

have no idea what's going on, have no conception of like how they're perceived. And that's, that's true. They're driving cyber trucks. I think the people that are happy. Those people are like the angriest people on the planet. I know, but they're like narcissist happy where they don't know that they're not happy, but they don't know what comes from a place of insecurity. Yeah. No, I get that. I get that. But I feel like Cybertruck, the reason why you buy a Cybertruck is because you're so angry and embittered with the world that you just want

to be in constant troll mode. Your whole life is, I want to get into several confrontations today. This is the quickest way, the quickest route is by buying a Cybertruck and driving around town. Here's what I'll say. I don't think anyone's happy. I think people are happy at times. I think we're all happy at times. But I don't think consistently happy is actually a way that you can actually live.

I think it's all a roller coaster. There's ups and downs and now me I'm on SSRI. So I never even have an up or a down. I am just Really was craving those today I was craving feeling nothing today so much because it's just so hard to To to like fake it there are are some people though who are psychotically happy all the time. And we met a couple of them. Who's the, we met that Nick Swisher. Nick Swisher, yeah, remember him?

He was happy. MLB, MLB legend? He's happy all the time. And then that guy we interviewed from the Not Safe podcast who lived in the back of OJ Simpson's house. Cato Cailin. Cato Cailin. He seems constantly psychotically happy.

Yeah, Cato Cailin's not happy. No way is Cato Cailin happy. Okay, well, Nick Swisher, at least, is a great example of someone who is somehow figured out how to be 100% happy 100% of the time. I can tell you how. He's a baseball player and they don't think about anything outside of baseball. That's right. That's nice.

And I was watching a clip today of like the Mets first baseman Pete Alonso signing a ball for a child at spring training. And like he just looks at the kid and goes, school sucks, right? I feel like that was like a perfect encapsulation of the baseball players. Bray. Yeah, school does suck. That was such a simple thing. That was like the worst part of life when you were a kid. I mean, I know a lot of kids have a lot worse things going on than that.

Like, oh, for the kid, it's amazing that he was able to relate to that kid on such a level. I mean, but that is like all you think sucks when you're a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, I thought litter bugs sucked. Yeah, litter, but litter, school, school sucks. You don't realize that your parents marriage sucks until you're much older. Vegetable. You're so right.

It's it's happening right in front of your eyes and you don't know it. Yes, I went over to my parents' house last night actually because I got into town and I can't be alone and so Sean relates and so I instantly I just dropped my bags at seven o'clock and then I traveled all day yesterday from six thirty in the morning until 7 p.m. at night and delays just sitting on sitting on a plane next to a monk in full monk garb in first class, which I'm like, how's this monk affording first class? But maybe he's just got the miles. Maybe he's a traveling monk. But also the monk was playing Sudoku or like playing some kind of game. And he also, when I got it, he was sitting on the aisle and I was sitting in the window.

And when I was boarding the plane, he was on the aisle and I was like, hey, I'm right here, you know? And he got up fast and he slammed his head on the top. And it was just so funny to see a man in religious garb be clumsy, you know? I was just so funny to see like a man in religious garb be clumsy, you know? Like I was just like, he's like, oh! Like seven times. Just undercutting his entire religion.

Oh, it was crazy. And then we sat next to each other and then I texted Chris because Chris went to a school that monks taught at. And so I was like, would you recognize this monk if I sent a picture? And he said, no. I said, he's an all brownie.

He's like, our monks wore black. So anyway, then the plane sat on the tarmac for two and a half hours, and the monk was getting agitated. It was so nice to see a man who has a relationship with God and knows where he's going in the next life, and to see him get anxious and like, oh, and kind of shifty in his seat.

You think those kinds of people have it all figured out, and don't even need their phones to entertain them, right? You would just think they could just sit there peacefully and accept what is handed to them. I can't believe a monk has like a subscription to New York Times games. And has to go to like a T-Mobile store and like, and what a joy. It's running slower and the battery is not keeping his arm. Was this though, like leaving Portland?

No, this was in Denver to St. Louis. Oh, okay. Cause I was like, people in Portland just dress like monks sometimes. That's true. We had a good weekend on the road in the PNW. I almost said PNC, that's a bank. We were in Tacoma for two nights.

Then we were in Toppenish for a couple hours, and then we were in Portland for two nights. So we flew, we did Tacoma for two nights at a casino, the Emerald. Queen. Queen, thank you. Those are really fun shows. And then we took a private plane,

which I'm not even gonna get into, but we, I mean, I'm not gonna get into why we did that. I think we did it because someone said that'd be cool, and I just go, great, and then it was $15,000 for no reason, because we literally, it took longer to fly there than driving would have taken, so I don't know what happened, but I think when someone suggested it on a call, I assumed it was like a

seven hour drive, thus, oh, that would make sense to fly. But it was a three hour drive, and it was a half hour drive to the airport alone. And then we had to sit on the tarmac. And then the flight where we all lost, I think years of our lives worrying about a crash. I mean, I was so stressed out the whole weekend about this fucking private jet flights. And I'm not someone who gets flight anxiety that I would have driven 17 hours to avoid

the stress that it gave me. It gave me so much stress that it single-handedly solved my fear of commercial flights. I didn't even use medication going home yesterday. I just felt like for the first time in 10 years, I flew. It felt like a car now. It felt like a car. Compared to the private jet.

And then I was like, I feel so safe and we land and I look at my phone and there's a plane upside down in Toronto. Yep. But they all survived and that seems like very exciting and terrifying. I mean, they're all like going to be fucked, but, you know, traumatic wise. But what you did, Sean, is is known as exposure therapy. You exposed yourself to something and then you expose yourself to such a heightened degree that the lesser stuff feels like it's nothing now.

God, it felt I felt electric yesterday getting on that plane. I'm like, I now am not afraid of you. It's not scary at all. Commercial jets don't crash, private jets do. And the one we were in certainly would have. We were in, we. And again, here's Nikki Glaser complaining about her fucking very fortunate privileged life.

She's complaining about private jet. Private jets and a sizzle reel. It's not the private jet that you're picturing that people are popping champagne on and like get having masseuses and there's like fruit trays and like the private jet I took to the New Orleans and fruit snacks was amazing. No, there was there was a couple of bags of skinny pop, but it was like it was not. It's not it's it's a not. I mean, it's a single engine prop plane.

Yeah, yeah. It a single engine prop plane. Yeah. Yeah. It was single engine prop plane. It was obviously from the eighties because like in the seat rest, there was like a TV guide, the, and the pilots, like, I'm not kidding when I say this, just would not be hired, but like they were struggle getting work at Starbucks. Yeah, these were DEI guys, but white. But white.

They did not dress like pilots. They dressed like they were going to take you out fishing. They would not assuage our fears about, because we were like, hey, we have some nervous travelers aboard, AKA Sean. Like Sean was really nervous and really anxious. And when Sean gets anxious, he asks, like Sean is like one of the smartest people I've ever met, like doesn't forget things, remembers literally everything.

He, I've been trying to get him on Jeopardy because he just has a great mind for like trivia and remembering things. Sean, when he's nervous, cannot remember how long a flight is. He will literally ask how long a flight is going to be. Like, I would say like 15 times in a 30 minute span. Like he will ask me, he will ask Emily, he will ask Emily to ask the pilot how long is it going to be? And we're like, we just told you five minutes ago it was going

to be 30 minutes. It's crazy, but he like can't retain it because I think it gives him a sense of control. His brain chooses to forget so that his brain is able to get some kind of information that can like assuage this, like fear coursing through his veins. I think so. That sounds right. We told them, we go, Hey, um, can we, Sean was Sean even asked, Sean's brave enough to say, Hey, can you ask them if, is it going to be a smooth flight? And they go, uh, it should be. Yeah.

They were too casual. But does that make you feel more confident? Yeah, just be nice, just lie. Even if you don't think it's going to be just lie, what is it? You can always just say, well, we didn't expect that. But why not just like make your passengers feel or just have empathy? Exactly. But why not just like make your passengers feel or just have empathy? Exactly, Noah. Because then maybe he'd freak out.

If you say, yeah, it's gonna be completely smooth, like gliding on a smooth plane. No, you just communicate to us. Listen, like this is what pilots need to do. Do I need to say it again and again? Just communicate to people on the plane. There's always going to be, especially on a passenger jet with hundreds of people,

there's going to be at least 20 people on there who are scared to death the entire time. All they want is to know that you are okay with what's going on up there. So any kind of shift, shift in altitude, any kind of like twist or turn or bump, just get over the thing and say, Everett, just want to let you know this is completely normal. Like anything that seems out of the ordinary, just communicate to people. Especially since it's in the news cycle. Instead of telling us the wind speed of where we're landing, stop giving us, or telling us about the new credit card like why are you wasting our ear? You have no problem getting over the intercom with that bullshit or telling us little jokes that you you know learned from a joke book when you

were taking a shit one day and you've retained for the rest of your life to give yourself a personality. Why don't you tell us actual things that will help people feel better because they haven't flown 6,000 flights like you have. They have nerves. Again, you're right, Noah. It's empathy. Think of other people. And these guys, we literally told them people are nervous on the flight and they wouldn't give us it and they just like I didn't like their cavalier attitude about the whole thing and And kind of just like they're like well we could make it a little bumpy and it's like don't you even fucking dare joke about? You're literally flying over Mount Rainier like We saw it like we were at the same level of as that mountain, like there was like something going through my head where I'm like, if we crash,

who am I going to eat first? It was going to be Tommy. No, the guy like if the guys are the guys are going to probably hear this podcast and be like, oh, she's such a bitch. You got you guys know what you were doing. I liked that. I almost liked their cavalier attitude because it made me realize they just look at this

driving down the road to go to 7-Eleven to pick up some cigarettes. They do not think, that's what I was trying to tell Sean, but they were a little cuh about it. And if you don't know what cuh is, guys listening, we know you are used to this, but we aren't right. So, and also I'm paying so much fucking money and maybe you're not seeing enough of that money.

And that's a problem with like the way the company works for you to give me the experience that is a little bit less than like, where are you walking? The doors on the other side, like making fun of us for not knowing where the door is or Or like, I don't know. I don't know. It was just like, it was just not a luxury experience, but maybe I didn't pay for one. Maybe I thought the price that I paid was a luxury experience, but maybe it wasn't.

No, I think that is. Do I fear complaining? Yes, because will I do I fear they're just going to like someone will crash next time because they're like, she's a bitch and entitled. I'm usually so grateful and I am grateful. Like they it was a safe ride. They did land smoothly. They did. I would have liked to know when we were changing altitude because all of a sudden it just drops and you're like, oh, the engines are failing. Like it is a abrupt like ready to descend. Like a little warning of that would have been fine. Um, not leaving us on the tarmac freezing cold for 20 minutes would have been cool.

In complete darkness. In complete darkness. Okay, so we get to the- This sounds not normal. So it's the same, we have the same pilots to fly there. So we fly into Yakima on Friday. Which if you've never been- Yeah, where is Yakima?

If you've never been, you're exactly like everyone else in the state of Washington. No one in Tacoma, which was three hours away, had ever even heard of Yakima. So we fly into Yakima in Washington. Yakima is a huge apple city. A lot of apples come from Yakima. Okay. A lot of hops go to. It's a big hoppy town. And so we fly to Yakima and it takes as long as driving would have.

And it's way more stressful and all that stuff. But that's fine. And then we land. Then we're going to have the same pilots hours later. We go do the show and then we come back. We drive 40 minutes to the show. We do the show. We come back.

It is dark. When we come back... Also, the show is incredible do the show. We come back. It is dark when we come back. I also the show is incredible. Like go to top and ish is outside of Yakima. Amazing people. Amazing show. So much fun. This was a casino. Yes, I don't remember the name of the casino.

Sean. It's like if I say if I try to recall it. Whispering spirit. Spirit falls. Something like that. Yeah, it was like Flying Eagle or like Spirit Fall. It's gonna sound racist when I take a guess. Yeah, but the people that really cared, the lighting guy, like went the extra mile. It was a great show and the audience was like really down. It was so fun. So then we go back to,

so on our way back, both Erica and my tour manager and Emily are texting with the company, the flight company being like, our ETA is this. So we get back, they're expecting us. Our luggage is still on the plane, right? We get back, we get out of the car. The car pulls onto the tarmac. We get out of the car and they're loading our bags onto the plane. But the door for the plane is not open. We're all just kind of like barren and the terminal is shut down. It's like a small

terminal and they're not open because it's late at night. So we're just kind of waiting there. And then I eventually was like, can we go inside? You know, or like what's going on? What they should have said was, will you guys stay in the car? Cause we're not ready for you. But what they did do was open up the hatch and let us into the plane where we got in the plane and sat there for 20 to 30 minutes. I would say maybe even longer. They put the luggage, they stowed it, and then they left us on the tarmac in the cold in a pitch dark airplane with not even the ignition turned on. Nothing turned on. No safety lights.

No safety lights. And it's 14 degrees. It's 14 degrees at 1030 PM. Like literally nothing. Like we and we're like, where did they go? What's going on? We have no commute. And everything and that like back hatches was still open. I think like maybe they're still loading things, but you can tell that they were just like, fuck these people were not ready for them. Let him on the plane and just make him sit there when they could have

just said, stay in the SUV. You guys got out too soon. We assumed the plane would be ready for us because why wouldn't it be? Right? Like you've been at the airport the whole time. You knew we were coming. We gave you a 40 minute heads up.

And then we- You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of like when you get a limo for prom and it's supposed to come pick you up, but like it just like leaves you in the cold. The guy like forgets about you because he's at the gas station. Yes. Yes. It felt we were out of control. I was just along along to the ride.

Just because something's expensive doesn't mean it's going to be good. I think private plan companies are just like any other company where there's good ones and there's bad ones. Yeah. Yeah. And you got a bad one. This does not sound normal to me. That sucks. Yeah. It sounds like I'm complaining about something that was really nice, but it was like, it was really hilarious.

And I'm the only recognizable one of all of us. So I can't be the one complaining because then it, no one can complain because then everyone goes, she's a bitch. And then it gets around the pilot community, which this is already going to, I'm sure, a private, this is gonna make its way through and be like, she doesn't know the rules.

They weren't supposed to board the plane. The truth is, they shouldn't let us on the plane now. They did. You are going to get a message from somebody who owns a private plane company saying, come to us, I'll treat you right. That's what's gonna happen. I would love that.

But I don't think we're ever gonna fly private again if I can help. It's not worth it. Because it was so fucking stressful for our nervous systems. Like I think I'm still recovering from it. Just thinking I'm going to die. And I even wrote a card to my mom saying I loved her and that we're probably going to die on this jet because they had a station

for Valentine's Day cards in the airport, the little terminal. I'm so glad you didn't tell me that's what you wrote. Yeah, I wrote, but I didn't send it. I just kept it in my bag, because I was like, oh, if we find it in my, I'll put it in my leather purse, which will probably won't burn up in the crash. And I tucked it away in there.

I felt, I was so anxious, but I couldn't show my anxiety because I felt like you were more anxious and there's nothing worse than like the person who's usually not anxious, me, being anxious. That would have thrown you off the fucking- Like seeing dad cry. Yes, dad can't cry.

So instead I was just making jokes and pushing down my fear. And then I like, I think that's maybe why I'm like depressed this week. I'm like recovering from that like anxiety or that I pushed down. And then also, what was I gonna say? Oh, then so we're on the plane and Emily's like,

not worried at all. She is not freaking at all. And Sean's kind of like interviewing her about it. He's like, so you're not scared at all right now? Like nothing. She's like, no, not really. You know what you need? You need a chill pill.

We're like, what? She's like, you should try chill pill. And we're like, what are you? Yeah, the cool phrase's like, you need you should try chill pill. And we're like, what are you? Yeah. The cool, cool phrase like which remind me of my mom's friend back in the 90s, who would say, take a chill pill to her daughter. But it's a real thing that Emily has. She was like, you know, the thing that shocks your hand.

And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. She's like, Nikki. Oh, my God, I've showed you. And I was like, I would remember that. Don't make me feel like I am a senile person. Like, I, I, I, I forget showed you." And I was like, I would remember that. Don't make me feel like I am a senile person. Like I, I, I, I forget a lot of things. I forget people's names. I forget, I do not forget a little device that you hold onto and it shocks your hands so that you don't have anxiety. So it's called a chill pill. She learned about it from Rosie O'Donnell on the Tik Tok. She assumed she had showed me, she had never showed me this thing. She bought

one. It is a little, it's shaped like a grenade. You hold it and it shocks your hand and it buzzes and shocks your hand. And it goes for 20 minutes and you hold it. And when you're having anxiety, it distracts you. You're not able to think because it's such a, it's an amount of pain that's just enough pain to be distracting, but not enough to actually like hurt. And it actually calms your mind. And I am addicted to it. She gave me hers. We bought them all. I bought one for everyone on our tour because I'm like, I just think everyone needs this because we were all like, wait, can I hold it? I want to try it. And then we were like,

wait, can I try it again? Like we were all getting such soothing feelings from this thing. Didn't it work, Sean? Oh, it's incredible. Like I straight up went on stage with a panic attack on Sunday and just like push through it. And then after I just used the chill pill and I felt incredible. Yes. Like, I feel like I'm never going to have a panic attack again. Well, Emily said she used to have really bad anxiety and she doesn't anymore because of the chill pill. She was like, you can just have mine. I don't even need it anymore. I used to need it all the time. I used to hold it to go to bed with.

I've been falling asleep with it. I woke up with this this morning because I was depressed. I was like, I was going to hold this for a little bit. Um, I really think it will like help with my depression and anxiety. Like I wanted to bring it on stage one night cause I was just feeling a little bit down. Um, but I don't think it's good for performing. I was holding it all weekend long. I just started over, every 20 minutes I started over.

I can't stop. It was the same thing I was doing with Ari. Ari had bought me those little pads that shock your muscles. Oh, the TENS machine. Yes, that's why I was addicted to TENS. Because it was causing enough pain that was distracting from my mental anguish.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like cutting, but it doesn't leave a scar. So if this is interesting to anyone, look up the Chill Pill on Amazon, they're 60 bucks. There's Sean's. All right. And you hold it in your hand and it looks like a little key fob.

And it's battery powered? Yeah, why you just plug it in, yeah and it looks like a little key fob. And it's battery powered? Yeah, why you just plug it in. Yeah, you just charge it with a charger. Yeah, and it's I'm I'm I can't wait to for people to get these because I I cannot believe it took me so long to find this kind of thing. So I really wanted to talk about that today and I'm glad we did. Okay, we have to go to break. We'll be back after this. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

How? Goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since.

The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup? You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to-

Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation. I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buck wild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chao. Titanic.

Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Sarah Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you so I can't wait Listen and subscribe to greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts I'm Mark Seale and I'm Nathan King. This is leave the gun. Take the cannoli

The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. Leave the Gun, Take the Canoli is based on my co-host Mark's best-selling book of the same title. And on this show, we call upon his years of research to help unpack the story behind the godfather's birth from start to finish. This is really the first interview I've done in bed. We sift through innumerable accounts. I see 35 pages in the real world. many of them conflicting, That's nonsense. There were 60 pages.

and try to get to the truth of what really happened. And they said, we're finished, this is over. The gun only stopped gonna work. You gotta get rid of those guys, this is a disaster. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Kahn, Talia Shire, and many others.

Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilburger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Each week, we'll sit down with inspiring figures like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen,

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter, and their plus one, their ride or die, as they share stories never heard before about their remarkable journey. Listen to My Legacy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. This is My Legacy. So then we go to Portland after Yakima and Portland is amazing.

We had amazing brunches twice in a row at the Jam. Emily got us in there. It was totally booked up, but she called and she worked her ways and she alluded to like, oh, it sucks that you guys are busy today. We're only in town for two days. And that led to the woman going, what are you in town for? Oh, I work for Nikki Glase.

And then the woman's like, well, we can make some room. So the jam got us in, jammed us in. Nice. Both days, Saturday and Sunday in Portland. Oh, nice. It's so good on Hawthorne. It was delicious. We had such a good brunch, two days in a row.

And then on Saturday night after the shows were incredible, the crowds were great. The theater was amazing, huge, so many people, so fun. Yeah, crowds up there just like get it. I just, I don't know why. They go along with everything. It's like, there's not even- I don't know if it's going on up there.

They're not repressed at all. They're just kind of like, let an artist work. Yeah, they're not like, ew. You can extend it all the way down to NorCal and San Francisco. I think San Francisco up, I think it's all the same. San Francisco gets a little woke where they'll be like, are you making fun?

Are you marginalizing anyone? I guess it could get a little woke. Which I'm all for, I'm woke as fuck, but they can get a little woke. Which I'm all for. I'm woke as fuck, but I, you know, they can get a little sensitive on behalf of people, I feel. Whereas, and it will go, it does go all the way up to Vancouver as far as I know. Yeah.

The whole West Coast. Go to Alaska. Yeah, it might. No, it's Antarctica. I'm willing to say it. I feel like this is the wokeest comedy tour in America right now. And so we, but Portland was, Portland is cool. Like it's a great cool city. We went and did karaoke on Saturday night

at this place called the Hallway. And you just. Which is Shining themed for no real reason. Yes. And it's very funny because it's... Like the Stanley Kubrick movie? Yeah. Which took place in Colorado. It took place in Colorado, but it was filmed two hours away from Portland, as the owner

of the bar told me. And everything is just like pictures of the Shining. And then for some reason, there's just a framed knife. It's not the knife from the movie. Yeah, I think everything in Portland is themed though. I think every strip club, every restaurant, like has to like, it's, they're a second grade classroom around Halloween or something.

You know, like it's everything has to have a theme. And that was theirs. And there was a dog that was playing fetch the entire time. Oh, that's cool. It was cool though, it wasn't, there weren't that many people there and you just like put in your song and it would come up pretty quickly.

And then we got to sing and we had a really great time singing and just hanging out after the show. And, but there was this one thing that like, there kept being performers that would get up and their name would be like Joe, and they would say AKA, and then it would say some like phrase.

And I, and at first I was like, that's like a weird nickname to have, that one of them was like, clean my tank. And someone was like, why is that person's nickname clean my tank. And someone was like, why is that person's nickname clean my tank? I think Tommy said it or, or, um, Emily. And I was like, I don't mean to like make this about me, but I have a joke where that's the punchline and I feel like someone's trying to like get my attention

with this, like it wasn't like Nikki glazers here, like it didn't feel like anyone really even knew or it was, and I don't think that way ever when I go places, but I felt really dumb saying that as soon as I said it, cause I'm like, I'm going to go get some whiskey glazers here. Like it didn't feel like anyone really even knew or it was, and I don't think that way ever when I go places, but I felt really dumb saying that as soon as I said it, because I'm like, oh my God, ew, everyone thinks that you think this is about you and it's not. And then the next one was, you know, Dion, AKA, um, Zac Efron.

And I was like, I think I have a joke about Zac Efron too from an old special. And then the next one was Dudley, aka Extra Long Twin Bed. And I'm like, no one's nickname is Extra Long Twin Bed. It doesn't even make sense. And I definitely have a joke about that. And then I was confirmed because then the owner finally sheepishly came over and was like, have you noticed anything? And I was like, yes, I have noticed something. My friends thought I was a narcissist. I swear that. So these poor

people that kept getting up to sing and then they had some disgusting phrase like cum slut as their like nickname. It was crazy. One was, one was you need to floss. And it was like a joke about like me saying that someone needed to floss but a guy's name was Joe aka needs to floss And I'm like show I'd be deeply offended because Joe was not in charge of the nickname It was the guy running the karaoke machine And you wonder why people like become narcissists when they are super celebrities. It's like you were just confirmed You're like, oh no, I'm not, I don't wanna be a narcissist. I don't wanna think this is all about me.

And then if it is about you, how many times does that have to happen before you just start to assume that everything is about you? Oh yeah, I was so embarrassed after I said it the first time because I was like, clean my tank. I bet that's just like a thing maybe people say, but I was like, I don't know.

I just felt like it was, and I felt so, because Tommy, I just, you know, Tommy just started working with us and I don't want Tommy to think I'm like, I don't know. I just felt like it was, and I felt so, because Tommy, I just, you know, Tommy just started working with us and I don't want Tommy to think I'm like someone that's like, I think this is me. And so it was, I was already planning on like apologizing to him later the next day being like, I'm sorry I made that about me.

I don't know why I thought it was. And then I was so happy when it ended up being about me, even though it was kind of annoying. But the people there were really nice and the guy that runs the place is really fun. So that was a good place. And then final thought, and then on Sunday night, we were like, we're gonna go get a karaoke room,

like a private one, because that place wasn't open again. And then we realized Lisa Trager was in town. My currently favorite comedian, Lisa Trager, because Lisa Trager was in town. My currently favorite comedian, Lisa Trager, right off her Netflix special Night Owl, which I'm obsessed with, she was in town working at Helium, the comedy club, and so we texted her Sunday morning being like,

oh my God, we're here too. And then she was like, oh my God, after the show tonight, we're doing strip club karaoke. And I was like, okay, I guess we're canceling our room. Everyone in this town is doing karaoke. So we went to a strip club called the Devil's Point. Devil's Point. Nice.

They trademarked, trademarked. They're the only club allowed to have stripper karaoke. Yeah, stripper-oke, as it's called. You get on stage and you sing, and then a stripper strips on stage while you're singing, but there is like, there's, you know, the classic bar that they swing around on. Then there's like pull-up bars

that they're doing all kinds of gymnastics on. These women are so talented, so acrobatic, so hot. We, it was a spectacle. I did not sing because the list was really long and I didn't wanna be the center of attention. And I honestly, I don't like being touched by strippers, male or female. So I just didn't wanna do it.

It seemed like a nightmare to sing. Like truly upon walking in, I was like, there's no chance I would ever do karaoke this way You are they're like rubbing on you the whole time Yeah and you're beholden like in front of like it was packed and you have to stand at this circle and they do their moves and then they like like Kind of play with you. Yeah play with you and then Sean famously said when we said we're doing to strip club karaoke

He goes, oh good. I can be awkward in two different ways. Cause it was like, and so we just watched, but luckily it was, it made karaoke watchable because these women are gorgeous and so talented and fully, fully nude. I saw assholes. I saw a, I saw literal women's assholes. This was also Emily's first time in a strip club? Yes. Yes it was. I think it was maybe Tommy's first time too maybe. Maybe not. Yeah and so it was like it's but it's

the best strip club experience because everyone there is happy doing what they're doing. They are really like exceptional at it. It's not something that they're doing because something else didn't work out or because there it's there wasn't a sadness to it. There was like a joy in the air among other things. It was heartwarming. It felt like it was like it felt like we were in like a workplace comedy and these these like coworkers love each other. Yeah. And like they love the DJ who also it was like a like a gross dude who stripped. I mean, it was there.

I it was the one time in my life that I've really felt like I was in a movie. I was like this. We could shoot this. This is this is what they made Coyote ugly. Look like, you know what I mean? Like the most fun bar in town where everyone is having the best time of their lives, everyone is gorgeous, everyone is talented, and everyone's having a genuinely happy time. No one's too wasted, nothing smells bad, like everything looks clean, everyone's in a good mood. It felt like how this kind of place would be portrayed in a movie

in a sensationalized way that you go, there's no way it's going to be like that. That's truly what this place was. It was awesome. I cannot wait to go back. I do want to sing there at some point because it looked really fun, but it was just everyone that came out to me and there were a lot of people there that knew me and were so nice and came out to me. One guy said he had quit drinking,

but he was because of, he heard me on Joe Rogan. He was clearly drunk, so that was confusing. But then he clarified that he had quit drinking for a year. And then- No, not now. But that was cool. No, of course not now. Drunk last year.

My life is more where I am. They heard Auri Shafir on Joe Rogan and started drinking again. Yeah, exactly. But it was really fun and it felt good to go out and do things after the show. I mean, sometimes we have two shows and it's just impossible to go out because none of us drink. None of us are drugging or drinking. And so it's like, we're not the type to really go out on the town.

But this, I felt really, I felt proud of myself for doing something. Yeah, experiencing the road. That's part of how people say they stay sane on the road. It's like, you gotta go experience the city. Yeah, yeah. I've heard Mark Norman say that or something. Yeah, yeah.

That's who I think of too. I feel like he goes out and does things. But it was really, it was really a fun weekend. I look forward to this weekend in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday and then we're doing Boston. I'm doing six shows at the Wang Theater, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And we are doing things during the day too. We have, we have been invited to many different things in town because people know we're coming. And so that's very exciting. And I think my depression has lifted, to be honest with you.

I'm feeling a little bit more clear headed. Thank you for this therapy session. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you buzzing yourself right now? Are you holding on to that? No, I am. You got yours. Oh, my God. I need to go get mine. I'm going to I got to charge it again. It's so good.

Yeah, so check out the Chill Pill, if that, if that, any of that resonates with you. Amazon? Yeah, Amazon, 60 bucks. Totally worth it, you guys. I know that's maybe a price point that's like a little much, but it's like, if you have anxiety or you have moments

where you're like, your mind is racing with thoughts and you need to like, you just have nothing else to do and you, you wanna meditate, but you're not there yet. Like this is just something, it's almost like meditation that it makes you focus on something that isn't your thoughts Meditation makes you focus on breath This makes you focus on a weird numbing like almost like your hand fell asleep kind of pain in your hand Is don't you think that's the same pain Sean is like when you like your hand starts tingling because it fell asleep

Yes, it definitely pins and needles And I kind of always love that. Yes. All right. So check it out. Thank you for listening. We'll see you again tomorrow. Don't be good. Bye.

The Nicky Glaser podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast. Created and hosted by me, Nicky Glaser, co-hosted by Brian Frangy, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Sonny, and Noah Avior. Edited and engineered by Lean and Loaf. Video production, Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nikki Glaser podcast on YouTube. Follow at Nikki Glaser pod and subscribe to our channel.

Hey man, what are you into? I have the hookup. The hookup? The hookup for what? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Poppers? Why are there so many poppers? All roads lead to... The hookup? You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to- Yeah, that's a word for it.

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli. The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. This podcast is based on my co-host Mark Seale's bestselling book of the same title. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Cobola,

Robert Evans, James Kahn, Talia Shire, and many others. Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Canoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa. A medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast,

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