The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #515 Nikki's Unforgettable Weekend; The Oscars, High School Hall of Fame & Zero Sleep!

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Getting stuck at the airport isn't that bad when you’re running on zero sleep. Nikki's just trying to catch up after a crazy weekend. Sean actually loves the hustle and bustle of airports—kinda gives him that New York vibe. Nikki's low-key worried she’s gonna get hit by a zombie car in her neighborhood if she doesn’t get some sleep soon. But honestly, hearing Adam Sandler roll with Nikki’s joke during the Oscars was SO worth being up for 48 hours. Another highlight from this action packed weekend? Nikki got inducted into her high school’s Hall of Fame. And she got to be on Live with Kelly & Mark the morning after the Oscars. Iconic.  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram: @NikkiGlaserPod Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, what's up y'all? This is Eric Andre. Well, I made a podcast called Bombing about absolutely tanking on stage. I tell gnarly stories and I talk to friends about their worst moments of bombing in all sorts of ways. Bombing on stage, bombing in public, bombing in life. I want to know what's the worst way they ever bombed or have they ever performed way too drunk or high or was there ever a time where they thought they were going to crush and they stunk it up. Listen to Bombing with Eric Andre on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Bombing with Eric Andre. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi.

What's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to The Hook Up on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancelation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes.

But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like Bad Touch Football, Anti-Racism Spin Class and Mandatory Ayahuasca Ceremonies are designed to force the canceled to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all. Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Geniuses, is counting down

the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years. That's right, Mango. We're talking animals. In a paper called, quote, chickens prefer beautiful humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. I like this. They all discovered that, much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces.

Got it. We're talking medical miracles. He's an endocrinologist who found a way to stimulate insulin-producing cells using, wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster. There's no way to stimulate insulin-producing cells using, wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster. There's no way to make that not sound crazy. We even talked to some of the experts behind these breakthroughs.

It's a week full of fact-packed stories you won't want to miss. So listen to the part-time genius countdown of the 25 greatest science ideas of the past 25 years, starting Monday, March 3rd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here I am.

It's Nikki Glaser. I am in St. Louis. With us is Noah, Sean, and Brian. Hello, it's the Nicky Glazer podcast. Here I am. It's Nicky Glazer. I am in St. Louis. With us is Noah, Sean, and Brian. What's up, core team? Hola. Looking good in black, Nicky. Oh, looking good in black.

I don't know. The girls' chat is popping off about colors and what skin tone you should have and what colors are right. One more thing to add to the list, as being a woman that you need to worry about. I'm like, why am I inviting this into my life? I'm not doing it.

I keep fighting, everyone's like, we have to drape all these fabrics across us to find which yellow is right. And I'm like, how about, it's always changes based on your spray tan or if you're wearing makeup. And also I don't care. So what happens if I wear the right color?

I guess people are nicer to me. People like me more. I don't know what it gets you in life. You look prettier. I just saw a TikTok about how none of us are supposed to know what we look like because there were no mirrors invented until, you know, I don't even know when mirrors were invented.

You would only see your reflection. You would only see reflection in water. And we all know what that looks like. It's blurry, you can't see. You would never know what you look like and therefore you would never be able to compare your looks to anyone else's. So there was no even, there was nothing even to compare.

You didn't know what you were, so no one had like- They had iPhones. Yeah. No, but like when you would look into a pond, you like look into a pond and you're like, that's, I'm hideous. I'm rippled as hell, dude. That's a really good point. Everyone just thought they were disgusting.

Except for Narcissus, who was the ultimate look into the pond guy. He was the first guy to ever look into the pond. Well yeah, he was the first one and he couldn't stop. Yeah. Yeah. You think he's real? Yeah.

Narcissus, he's still alive. He's on Suits LA. I just don't understand. Yeah, like I just don't want another thing to worry about. I just don't understand. Yeah, like I just don't want another thing to worry about. I just can't. I can't handle it. But it's but yeah, it's I mean, between the war in Gaza and Trump and the yellow colors, it's like. And what colors should be a match your skin tone? I just like how much can we have on our plate right now?

And like worrying about this Oscars weekend and like everyone being like best dressed and this is the best and this one looked really bad on her and all these think pieces afterwards about what, who really brought it with fashion. Who fucking cares, y'all? Like I just. Tell me about it. I can't even, I know this is like, keh to be like fashion's dumb

and like it doesn't mean anything because I know it's art and I just, but like I just can't even believe we're still talking about Like I was really disappointed in what Timothy Chalamet wore, you know I can't even tell if it's a joke or not if he's trying to make a statement It's cool. But if he's just trying to challenge us not cool. It's like why do we care like yeah, who cares? You should only care when somebody's like really going for it Like, you know like with Bjork and the Swan or like the South Park guys wearing JLo's dress.

Like the fact that Jeremy Strong. Yeah, you should. We should make jokes about it. Like I like hearing that he looks like a stick of butter or that he looks like a highlighter pen or he looks like he's wearing the suit from Taylor Swift's music video. Well, Conan made fun of Chalamet, didn't he? What did he say? He said you're definitely not going to get hit on a bike on the way home. Yeah, that's great Don't talk to him. I don't want to walk I don't want to hear fashion people talking about like the choice he made and if it was right or not and it's like

That is not it taking fashion. Seriously, it's not really interesting to me But you know what? I'm I'm in one of those moods today where I think I am. Just like I didn't sleep. Your hater. I didn't sleep for 27 hours between landing in LA on Sunday. Because you had your arm caught between two rocks in Utah. Yeah. That's what it feels like doing Kelly and Mark. No, I'd love to get my arms stuck between those two.

But no, I, yeah, I went to, I'd love to get my own talk between those two. But no, I landed from Vancouver. We landed at like 11 in the morning, Sean. So I slept a little bit on the plane. And then that night after two shows in Vancouver, I think I had two and a half hours of sleep. Slept another three hours on the plane. So coming off of five hours of sleep. And then went into Oscars getting hair and makeup

and then doing a fitting because I had to do Kelly and Mark the next day, fitting for that, and then jumping right into my Oscars look, headed to the dinner, going to the three parties afterwards and then going into hair and makeup at three, or going to bed, watching White Lotus because I was still up when we got home from the parties and then we got home at probably midnight, watched White Lotus in bed by one.

And then I had to be up at three to get hair and makeup for Kelly and Mark. And then after Kelly and Mark, I didn't have time to like, I had like three hours between that ending and getting picked up for the airport. And I was just like, well, I don't really have time to take a nap. But like, so then I just went to the airport and then I had a fucking connecting flight. All I wanted, I was so excited to get on a direct flight. And I'm not joking you, when I saw that it was a connecting flight,

I started crying. I couldn't handle it. And one of the seats was an aisle, which I can't sleep in. So I was just like, oh my God. But at least I was, I had to lay over in Dallas where they have an American lounge. And so I just got to like sit and I just, I love, I love days traveling home when I'm

alone. It's the best day of my life. I love traveling alone. I love not having to talk to anyone. I love looking like disgusting, dressing disgusting, having kind of people like not really talk to you. Like I love that the airport code is like no one talks to each other. Like you know what I mean?

Unless you're at the bar. Yeah, which I would never be, you know? No, but you could also like, anytime someone tries to talk to you, you can just be cold. Like, and no one could get mad at you because like everyone's like, oh yes, people are dealing with their own shit at the airport

Well, yeah Yeah, and I'm unrecognizable. I feel so I just can get away with but no one even tries to talk to me I mean, maybe they do when I'm noise-canceling headphones, so I don't hear them, but I just oh I love it I love a day of like autonomy Like no one can get you I love a day of autonomy. No one can get you, no one's with you. I love people being with me and I do not always love being alone,

but it feels like when you're at an airport, you're not alone, alone. I hate being at my apartment alone. Fuck that. I literally landed and went right to my parents' house and spent the night there. I spent the night at my parents' last week too. I don't wanna be at my place alone at all.

Chris is out of town right now. So, um, yeah, I, but there's a key factor to the air, to the airport thing, which is also that you're not doing this yourself. Like if you chose to have like a retreat where no one could access you and you went to like, you know, oh yeah, it's being forced on me. I have to do it. Yeah. So when you're still talking about it. Yeah, so when you're on, there's no one to pressure you to do anything because you're forced to do this for work. So, sorry, I'm at the airport. And there's no sightseeing, there's no, like I don't have to do anything while I'm at the airport. There's no exhibits to go look at or like, activities to engage in.

Like it is just, you get to sit and go to Starbucks and walk to your gate. Okay. I was gonna ask. Yeah. I love nothing. I was gonna ask if you spoil yourself at the airport because whenever I travel, I'm always like, well, I can get any snack or any drink I want no matter the cost because I'm traveling. Cost? Yes. I don't think about cost at all. And I generally, and I, you know, even when I couldn't afford, you know, an $8 protein, and I, you know, even when I couldn't afford,

you know, an eight dollar protein bar, I still was like, well, there's nothing else to do. There's no they have a monopoly. So everything. What am I not going to eat it? So, yeah, I do treat myself, but not in terms of like, I'm going to be bad and have bad stuff because I'm sedentary all day. So I also feel bad about that.

And also you fly so much that if you got involved with some bad stuff, it would be every day you'd be eating bad stuff. Yeah, it's two days a week. I am eating, yeah, like shit. True, true. But I do, I always, I like being alone in an airport as well because I like, there's a hustle and bustle happening. It's why I enjoyed living in New York. Yes. Because I never felt alone, but I hate being in LA because it gets quiet and then I'm alone alone.

I love a hustle and a bustle around me because I can almost feed off of it and feel as if I am working on that Excel spreadsheet next to me. Or I am, yeah, like there's company, but it's not that you have to be active with. Like it's a mall vibe that you never get anymore because we don't go to malls.

No, it's a mall mixed with a coffee shop. You don't talk to anyone. You literally, no one makes eye contact. No one is mingling at the airport. It's awesome. No, that's what I kind of love about like when, yeah, New York and the airport is if someone murders you, there will be people to stop it. York. Yeah, New York and the airport is if someone murders you, there will be people to stop

it. Yeah. That's a really good point. Yeah, I think that's why I like it. I think it's like New York. It's the same vibe of like, you know, it's like why I go to Starbucks to get work done because I just need people around. I need to feel like it's, yeah, that if there's a murder, someone's there to witness it.

That's really it, because they're not gonna do anything, as we know from Bystander Effect, but. At least they'll watch it. I've said this before, but LA, if you're walking around late at night in LA, it's very frequent that there will be just one guy who looks kinda creepy or whatever. The murderer, yeah. And it's just him, and it's just you and him and it really is.

A, he only has one choice of victim. It's you. And B, there's no one to save you. God, every time I go outside at night and I'm like on an edible, I am freaking out. I'm like, someone is going to murder me. I just, that's just how I'm living my life. Yeah. Am I getting anything out of this weed?

No, I'm not. No, no. I'm just viewing myself as a future victim, even though no one who looks like me ever gets murdered. Oh, I it's not even people, it's cars too, because I live in a part of the city where there's like, you know, just there are so many cars where you can see the engine exposed,

like just the front is missing of the car. It literally is like a zombie kind of apocalypse for cars in my neighborhood where they will be missing the entire front where you see all of the metal, like all of the engine work beneath or the whole bump. The rear bumper is completely stripped off and you could see like the axle. So there's a lot of like zombie cars driving around and going like, like you can hear them.

Like there's some kind of like noise coming up. And then they're stopped at stoplight. I'm walking my dog and I'm like, they I'm going to about to get murdered. And I kind of run through it and I go like, where do I hope they shoot me? And then I picture my dog like, what's she going to do? Like, I hope that I fall onto the leash and so she can't run away. I hope that if I die, I collapse upon the leash and then it creates a paperweight for the leash

and then she's just kind of next to me because I think she would just run and then get hit by a car. So I worry about that stuff a lot. And sometimes I wish they would because I just don't wanna do the whatever I have to do later that day. And I'm like, that'd be kind of cool to get,

in the hospitals nearby, just be a hero, survive it, be a hero. Definitely don't want that to happen, but there is a part of my sick brain that kind of goes through, like, oh, it would be like a forced vacation. I hate this, because it's something that I feel like my mom would say, but I'm like, the idea of like, somebody attempting to murder you and like you survive and like

just getting out of everything, but everyone is also like, telling you how they feel and it's all positive. I want that. I want, I want to be munchausend. I was kind of jealous of the people in the plane crash that flipped over who weren't harmed because you are getting out of stuff for weeks of like, it was really traumatic. And $30,000. Wow. Oh yeah. Yeah. They got 30, 40 thousand dollars.

30k for almost dying. No, that's 30,000 miles they got. Oh yeah. Towards another flight. Points. It was points. Yeah, points. Which is 5,000 miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, you're so, like I was thinking about that flight and like I was kind of like, man, I wish our flight would kind of like flip over. I probably wouldn't. I'd get out of work for at least a week. Like no one could be like, Nikki, we really need you to reply to this email about approving these pictures that might go up

for this new date we're announcing. No one would be like, we need you to follow up on that. I'd be like, well, sorry my plane flipped over. That would be pretty good. So I just want something like that to happen, but I don't really. And shout out to people who survived that. I know that's traumatic. In January, people's houses burned down and they got at least that out of it.

I was on calls with them weeks late, like a week later I was like on, you know, calls with agents whose house is burned down and it was so, I felt so bad for them to have to care about the mundane, you know, aspects of my career and being like, well, there's this script that came in and I'm like, your house is gone. And they shouldn't have said that, but no, they were actually really nice,

because I said, I'm so sorry you even have to read a script that I might, you know, and they go, no, this is a good distraction, and that's a nice thing to say, but I was just like, man, if your house burned down, I would try to get out of work for a lot longer. But people are passionate about work, and they do love work, and they throw themselves into it,

as someone who's like that as well. I get it. One of my friends' house burned down, he lives in the East Side and he bought a house in Alta Dena and he closed the house the week before the fires. And then it burned down the week after he closed on it. So it was good and bad because he didn't have any

of his stuff in the house, so he just lost the house. But also, if it was one week earlier, he wouldn't have closed on it and it wouldn't have been his. That's like when I got that apartment right before COVID that I never lived in. Oh yeah. I discussed $8,000 a month for 12 months that I never lived in. I think I discussed $8,000 a month for 12 months that I never lived in it, but not the same at all.

But also like, what's going on with insurance with those houses? Like I haven't heard any follow-up. I've heard that it was gonna be impossible and it will tank the economy for those payouts to happen. But like how do they not? Yeah, it's something like $6 billion in damage. It's going to tank the insurance industry in the region for sure.

But right now, the big thing is there's going to be civil lawsuits. There's already several different law groups that have jumped on the opportunity, have already done the research to find culpability on our airing ads to say, is your house burned down in the Altadena fire? Well, we have already discovered culpability and we can get money for you or whatever so that's that's all gonna happen and there's gonna be lawsuits I guarantee you something like the electric company is gonna get sued or something like that for like a spark that started the fire on a line that's the Altadena one and

then the Palisades is somebody was setting off fireworks on New Year's and like the ember was lingering. Oh my God, are you serious? That guy must be so humiliated right now. No, because anyone who would do that is incapable of feeling humility. Totally.

And he was doing it five days later, or six days later. You know, like that spark didn't happen on New Year's. No, I... five days later or six days later. You know, like that spark didn't happen on New Year's. So it was like just. The firework culture in LA is repulsive and it should be outlawed. I cannot believe how many freaks launch fireworks on these holidays.

They just ruin nature, they set our town on fire, they scare dogs. It's a repulsive habit that needs to end. And I don't agree. Thank you. Preach. I got yelled at once on Twitter after like, I think the Lakers won the like NBA championship

and I was complaining about the fireworks. And somebody was saying that this is why you're a gentrifier. This is why we look at you as a gentrifier. And like, it's like, this is part of our culture. And it's like, what are you talking about? Like my dog is just shaking and it's annoying because we have a baby who's trying to sleep and you're setting off fireworks because you guys know your dog

is shaking because it's really disturbed by your racism. That is true. Is it racism? Yeah, it's fireworks. A racist is I think it's popular in certain Is fireworks a racist? I think it's popular in certain communities. Okay, well, let's go to end. White people love fireworks too though, I'm sorry. Oh, they do.

Have you ever been to Indiana? White people aren't celebrating things though, because it's like they're always winning. So they don't need to like be loud about it when it happens specifically. That's just a theory. And I don't think they always be winning because please don't mince my words. Minced my words.

Christopher mince please my words. People were setting off fireworks when Enora won on Sunday. Oh my God. Yeah, let's talk about the Oscars when we get back right after this. This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled.

In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like Bad Touch Football, Anti-Racism Spin Class and Mandatory Ayahuasca Ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Kieran, where have you brought us? Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science I can't keep track of it all. Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Genius, is counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years. That's right, Mango. We're talking animals. In a paper called, quote, chickens prefer beautiful humans. Right. This was actually the title of the paper. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces.

Got it. We're talking medical miracles. He's an endocrinologist who found a way to stimulate insulin producing cells using, wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster. There's no way to make that not sound crazy. We even talked to some of the experts behind these breakthroughs. It's a week full of fact-packed stories you won't want to miss. So listen to the part-time genius countdown of the 25 greatest science ideas of the past

25 years, starting Monday, March 3rd on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst

as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. And Santi was gone. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi. And what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Hmm, pillow talk. The most unwelcome window into the human psyche. Follow our out of his element hero as he engages in a series of ill-conceived investigative hookups.

Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. And as I was about to learn, no amount of showering can wash your hands of a bad hookup. Now, take a big whiff, my brah. Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Canole.

The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. Leave the Gun, Take the Canole is based on my co-host Mark's bestselling book of the same title. And on this show, we call upon his years of research to help unpack the story behind the godfather's birth from start to finish. This is really the first interview I've done in bed. Ha ha ha ha!

We sift through innumerable accounts. I see 35 pages in the real world. Many of them conflicting. That's nonsense. There were 60 pages. And try to get to the truth of what really happened. And they said, we're finished. This is over. They're only going to stop going to work really happened. And they said, we're finished, this is over.

They know this is not going to work. You gotta get rid of those guys. This is a disaster. Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Kahn, Talia Shire, and many others. I guess that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so it was the Oscars on Sunday. It was a, I watched it from, I went to the, I got invited to the Vanity Fair watch party, which is like, was so many famous people, probably like 150 people all at like 12 tables. And in this room where it's that's where the Vanity Fair party is. After the show, that's where all the Oscar winners or you know, people that were at the Oscar show go to after the Oscars, but we were already there. So we get in, we walk the red carpet,

we go to this dinner and it's on the big screen. And it was really fun. I was at a table with Seth Rogen and his wife and then Olivia Wilde who I'd never met before, but it's just so pretty. It's like hard to look at her almost. It's not hard to look at her, but it's like, you wanna look at her, but you feel like you might,

you might get caught gawking. And also she's so pretty, she's just her, she's pretty, she's so remarkably gorgeous. You don't even wanna say she looks good tonight because it's like, it's, I don't even know if there's anything I've heard in my life as much as she's probably heard, you're so beautiful. It's probably like people have told me, calm down or what's

wrong with you or here's your, here's your venti latte. Like I don't even know what I could hear that much in my life that she has heard that so, but she looked stunning and she was so nice and so chill. Chris and I were just like so enamored by how lovely and funny and cool she was and just really, really loved her, loved her vibe. And I was nervous to meet her because she just has been someone I wanted to be like, I did say like, I've been watching you from afar for so long. Like, I love you.

And she was like, she was really nice to me. And then who else is at our table? An actress named Megalyn, and I'm forgetting her last name. It is very long and has a lot of consonants in it, so I didn't memorize it, but she was so nice. She was- Is she from Eastern Europe?

I don't, maybe ethnically, but she's American. She's like a larger Lynn. Yeah, Megalyn. Don't, maybe like ethnically, but she's American. She's like a larger Lin. Megalyn, she's actually a very tiny person, but she was so nice and so cool. Like such a fun person. Megalyn Echa Koon Woke. Thank you. I don't know how to pronounce it either.

Yes, exactly. But she was, she sat right next to me. She was amazing. Then there was a guy named Lee, Lee Eisner, I believe. Maybe his last name or his first name isn't Lee, but it was definitely Eisner. He's not related to Michael. Is it Michael Eisner?

Yeah. And what he, this guy Lee, I think his name was Lee. He, he had seen me, he was like, he didn't know who I was. I introduced myself at the table. He was very nice, older man, probably 70. And he was like, oh didn't know who I was. I introduced myself at the table. He was very nice, older man, probably 70. And he was like, oh, I know you. I saw you at Largo on Judd Apatow Show. And that was like a set I really thought

I did not do well on. And I remember being like, oh God, that was uncomfortable. But I'm just not gonna even like, I'm not gonna let it in. It's fine. Judd doesn't care. No one cares. It's fine. I just didn't have the best set. But he was like, I'm not gonna let it in, it's fine, Judd doesn't care, no one cares, it's fine, I just didn't have the best set, but he was like, I've been talking about your set

ever since to so many people. And I was like, oh, okay, my perception is off then, or at least he got it. And I even addressed, I think during it, during the set, I know that I knew I did bad because I have this part of, I have this joke where I talk about having suicidal thoughts and I'm like, my life is great, I do this,

I talk about what's going on in my life and I'm like, I still wanna kill myself and in that list I go, I'm successful in something I love, all my friends and family are happy and healthy. I go, I usually do really well at the Largo and they laugh really hard at that. So I knew that they were like, does she know she's not doing well? But anyway, he was really nice, but he worked with David Geffen.

He was a lawyer for David Geffen or for maybe Warner Brothers. I forget, Warner Music. He discovered Prince. Prince sent in his tape, which was a reel-to-reel tape that he brought home and listened to because he was obsessive about not missing out on all the, like maybe the one tape he didn't listen to was gonna be the biggest musician in the world.

Was gonna be Prince, and so he took this home and listened to it, and he also, he was dating Woody Guthrie's daughter and was staying at Woody Guthrie's house when Bob Dylan showed up on his doorstep in the 60s looking for Woody Guthrie, a kid from Minnesota, like in a complete unknown. And I'm sitting at this table with this guy.

So he's like 70 or something? Yeah, he's probably 70, but he's a good looking guy. Is his name Lee Eisner? Did you find that name, anyone? Will you look it up? And he's the son of a famous. I just type in Eisner Geffen. No, he's not.

He might be a son of someone famous, but I don't think it's related to the. Eric. Eric. Eric Eisner. Okay, yes. And he was so nice and had so many great stories. And we just had a great time.

And then we're watching the Oscars. And who else was it? It was Lauren? And then, yeah, I think that's it. That was the whole table. And Chris. And then we watched the Oscars and we're just it? It was Lauren and then, yeah, I think that's it. That was the whole table and Chris. And then we watched the Oscars and we're just like laughing and commenting on it. Like, you know, it's like, I'm with like,

Seth Rogen is saying the funniest shit ever, you know, under his breath kind of things. And we're all like cracking up and we're just like having, it was really fun. It was, it's really fun to watch the Oscars with a bunch of famous people who are like, and kind of like trying to read the room of like when you should be excited or like, Oh, and Alex Edelman was there as well at our table.

And he was at every table. But he was at our table too. That was fun. And but then the whole, I mean, it was like, it was a star studded room. Mick Jagger was he was at our party and then he went to the Oscars. All of a sudden he was presenting. We were like, wasn't he just here? It's like a cross town, by the way, it's 30 minutes away at least. And then he comes back

to the party. He didn't want to be in the table right next to me. It's crazy. That's wild. But it does make sense because when he appeared on the Oscars, he was in constant movement. So he obviously sped walk across town. Didn't want to break his stride. He looked great. He was cool. But it was cool.

And before the show, there was a lounge kind of area, or before the dinner, a lounge area. And then they were like, it's time to go in for dinner. So we were all like, after the red carpet, we're just kind of all hanging out, watching the show. There's a big screen. And Kevin Bacon and his wife, Kira Sedgwick, came and were like, sat next to me and were like,

we wanna sit with you. You killed it on the glow. They were so, so nice. What a group from Kevin Bacon, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, and I'm right there. They were so, so nice. What a group from Kevin Bacon, yeah. Oh my God, and I'm right there. Kevin Bacon introduced himself to Chris as Kev. And we loved that.

And they're gonna come see me at my New York show at The Beacon. So we met at this initial party, and then like three parties later, we were leaving the party to go home, and we saw Kevin coming back in to the party. And I go, bye Kevin. And he was like, okay, see you at the Beacon.

He goes, well, you won't see me, but we'll be there. And I just like, I like that acknowledgement. He's like, well, we're gonna be in the audience, so you won't see us. But I was like, well, please come backstage. But they were so freaking nice. Wow, what a cool down to earth guy. So down to earth, they were telling us about how they met

and they've been together for like 40 years or something like that. She was so nice. Patricia Clarkson is a giant fan of mine. I didn't obviously know who she is, but she came up to me. I'm sorry this is like a brag sesh, but I was just talking to Anya about it. Anya sent me a video today of Patricia Clarkson talking about Harvey Weinstein. I hadn't even told Anya of Patricia Clarkson talking about Harvey Weinstein. And I hadn't even told Anya that Patricia Clarkson is this woman that came up to me during the party and settled these nice things. So I got this message. So I was just talking about her.

That's why it came to mind. But she came up to me and was like, you need to understand. She was like, I'm Patricia Clarkson. She was like, I'm no Meryl Streep, but I'm right behind her. And she was like, I am obsessed with you. I talk about you to everyone I know. All of my girlfriends know about you. You should be running this goddamn town.

Like she was so, so great, so emphatic. Like I don't think I've ever met anyone that is that big of a fan of me. I really don't. I was like, you just made my night. She was so cool. She was, I just loved her. And then Bill Maher was there. It was like, you just made my night. She was so cool. I just loved her.

And then Bill Maher was there. It was nice to see him. Oh, and then I went up to the guy from the White Lotus, Patrick Schwarzenegger, who plays Saxon. That's from last time when you were kind of like, I'm not gonna go up to people. Now you're going up to smoozing. Chris told me I had to.

So we were about to leave the Vanity Fair party to go to the Chapel Rowan performance at the Elton John party. Because she was going on at 9.45 and it was like 9.30. And I'm like, we gotta go. And he's like, I wanna challenge you. You need to go up to one, like go to one person and say you love them.

And I was like, I just don't know. The Jeremy Strong was right there. I was gonna go up to him, but he doesn't seem like someone who was even like, I just feel like that would be an awkward interaction for him. I just don't think people care. I don't, especially people that are that famous and like, it's like the Olivia wild pretty thing.

Jeremy strong knows he's the best actor I don't need. He doesn't care if he glazed. I mean, I have a feeling he, it depends. I think I have a feeling Jeremy strong would lap that up. I think he would like it, especially after he lost. I mean, I think someone coming up to him saying, you're my favorite actor, you're such an amazing actor. That's what I was gonna say.

I just wanna say, yeah, that's good for him. I think it's why he does it, to be honest. Really? Yeah. He seems like Anya, he doesn't do it for the attention, he does it to get a message across. Why did he wear the Dr. Seuss outfit at the Globes then? He wanted so much.

In every single one of those huge biographical articles that people always do on Jeremy Strong, that's what he did growing up. He approached Al Pacino and was like, you're my hero. And then he was like, can I study under you? We can't do one to others. So I think he wants that a little bit. Well, you did note that Sean noted that when, uh, uh,

Kieran Culkin complimented Jeremy strong after winning and he lost, uh, Jeremy did not respond with a smile, essentially. Yeah. Uh, I just want to say say on that that I can't, but yeah, I maybe wouldn't have either. I might have been complimenting that performance of his as well if I went up to him. I like someone who it's not going to give someone what they want just because, you know, like that's also the Jeremy Strong I fear is like the one that's just honest with his reaction. Like, he's not gonna pretend to be flattered if he's not.

And so, like, I don't want him to kind of see me annoyed by me. Because he felt like it was maybe like perfunctory. I like him too much. Yeah, and I also like, that's what this, like he's getting it a thousand times at night. He was a nominee, like, what's one more girl being like, by the way, you're times a night. He was a nominee. What's one more girl being like, by the way, you're my favorite actor?

And I don't even think he probably knows who I am. It just doesn't even, I'm not trying to devalue myself by being like, it doesn't matter what I think, but it really doesn't. Even if I was super duper famous, I just don't think one more person, even though I do enjoy that, I don't know why I think that other people wouldn't. I don't know, I just don't think one more person, even though I do enjoy that, I don't know why I think that other people wouldn't.

I don't know what it is, but I will say that I did see Patrick Schwarzenegger as we were walking out and I go, okay, this is my one, because he was just entering, so I could tell like, I don't think he was at the Oscar, so I'm like, oh, he just got to this party. He hasn't been inundated with people telling him how great he is yet.

He kind of just broke on the scene with White Lotus. He hasn't been around forever, hearing how great he is for over and over. Here's my chance. He's young too so he probably knows who I am a little bit more than a Jeremy Strong would. And I was like, you. He's 31 years old. I love you. And my enthusiasm for White Lotus right now is like, I haven't, I didn't see Jeremy Strong's performance in The Apprentice. If I I had I think I would have felt justified in going up to Him to like talk about the thing he's nominated for but me being like Kendall Roy, you know, like it just is like kind of

And that's really all I remember him from and from you know, the what's the one the the money movie with? not Matt Damon, but The picture yeah, right in the big short his performances know. And I feel like that's not enough. The big shorts. So good. And his GQ, his 10 favorite things. That's one of my favorite videos. I love every article about Jeremy Strong. Me too. I almost have a Google alert for Jeremy Strong.

I should. I think he's so interesting. He really is. And yes, I don't feel like, the weird thing is I was like, I really feel like I could be friends with Kieran Culkin. I feel like there's a similar vibe. We're very annoying. Everyone dislikes us.

We love our wives. No, everyone loves Kieran. He's, no, you totally, you are very Kieran. But Kieran also, I just keep sending you you Sean Jesse Eisenberg interviews about Kieran, because I can't tell if he hates him or not. Oh my God. It's so fascinating to hear Jesse talk about casting Kieran

after not ever even meeting him. And then Jesse said that he's worked so hard for months and months with everyone on set, the crew, the cast, trying to get to know them, trying to like endear himself to these people he's going to be directing. And like, you know, he wrote the piece that he's going to be acting with. And then Kieran showed up one day on set and his better friends with every single person on this, on the set.

And like that he ever did with all the months of work he put in. And some people are just like that. They're just like, that's kind of what the movie is about. Yeah, that is a good point. It's so it's so interesting. I love every single one of these interviews because it does feel like he broke Jesse Eisenberg. I love Jesse Eisenberg. He is so funny and I really like the way he talks.

I think he's so intelligent and he really uses great words, but he doesn't seem pretentious about it. I've become such a, I was already a fan of his acting, but I think I'm such a fan from watching him in interviews. I really, ever since, I just don't like the whole acceptance speech where he's, Kieran, where he keeps telling his wife to have babies, or if I'm gonna win this, then we're gonna have more babies.

And it's like, I know she's down for it. I know like it's between them, it's not weird, but like I just don't like this whole thing of like women, men work and earn and women just make more of the man. I just don't like, I just, and I know that's not where it's coming from. I think I would, I love Kieran. I'm, I don't mean to do all these caveats.

To me, it just is like, I just hate looking at a wife being like, yes. Oh, I'm so proud of you. I'll keep having your babies and putting my body through this and like, like, it's so easy or something. Or it's like or it's like a gift to her. Like if I win, you get to do have another baby for me. It's like, why is that an equal payoff? Like, I mean, I think that is like it is insane to share that at the Oscars,

especially when that was like a plot, like a subplot on 30 Rock. That's why Tracy was trying to EGOT was because his wife said she would give him a daughter. And it's like it's so silly to even do that. And to bring that up in a real scenario, I was just like, I don't. I just see his acceptance speech this time. Was it did he mentioned it right? Because I know he did it at the last year or something at the Globes.

Yeah. And it was, it was all, she was like, oh, well, we could have another kid if you win the Oscar and then he brought it up again. And it was just, I just feel like that's a private thing. I know it's being silly and being so free. I don't think that they don private thing. I know it's being silly and being so free They don't deserve my judgment for that but I think for me because I'm just like so like over like you have to women just have kids and that's all you do and Also, I'm I think it just hit me the wrong way

But but he's an open book and that's why people like it insert singing at the end of his acceptance speech. That was At least he didn't start singing at the end of his acceptance speech. That was so bad. Oh, yeah. That was... Can we go back to you guys watching? Because I want to know, what was your reaction when you saw Adam Sandler? Oh, so that was on the red carpet. So we got there a little bit late. And so when I got there, Chris and I arrive, I'm doing interviews with ET and Extra and all these, yeah, the alien. It was really one sided conversation. He didn't have a lot to say.

Wearing who? I talked into his finger. And so, I was doing all like interviews and then the monologue started and that was like the most important thing for us to see. We love Conan. Chris is producing the Mark Twain Prize for Conan O'Brien. Like we wanted to see Conan's monologue and it's starting. And so in between interviews, Chris is like,

it's Conan starting. And I'm like, I got, I'm sorry, I gotta do like more. I'm sorry, because you go down the line and these people go like, Nikki, please, like, and they're longing faces. And I kind of know some of these people at this point and I felt bad. So I was like, and he goes, I'm just gonna pull it up on my phone. So Chris is watching the live stream of the, the thing behind, like while we're

on the red carpet, kind of like in the wings of the carpet. And then I finished this interview and now it's time to go to the part of the carpet where you get your picture taken. But there's kind of like a gap between the two areas of the interviews and then the picture. And Chris is like, before to go to the part of the carpet where you get your picture taken. But there's kind of like a gap between the two areas of the interviews and then the picture. And Chris is like, before we go do the picture, why don't we just like finish watching Conan's monologue? Cause it had just kind of started a minute before. So then we are just looking at his phone.

I wish someone would have been recording us so badly when it got to the part with Adam Sandler. Cause we were kind of like, huh, this is like kind of a similar, like they're talking to Adam Sandler. We were both kind of like, what's this is like kind of a similar, like they're talking to Adam Sandler. We were both kind of like, what's, is this, I almost felt bad, like, wait, did we do something that they had planned to do?

Like, was it, was it us? I don't know, I was just starting to feel like, oh no, like, what's this gonna be? And then when I just had a feeling, when he started running up right before he said goodbye, I was like, is this about to happen? Like that would be so insane. And then when he just grabbed him and said,

uh, shadow me. Chris and I just, jaws on the floor, like both like just frozen, like Edward Munch scream painting, like both of us looking at each other like open. And then a guy from like the crew at one of the ET shows or whatever was like, yeah, that just happened, Nikki, that just happened.

And we were like, oh my God. And then we started Chris's phone just started, you know, like all the text messages started coming. I was getting text messages. Bring, bring, bring, bring. It was crazy. And we were just, we were happier than, I mean, we just got a house

and we were literally like a day before, we were happier than, I mean, we just got a house and we were literally like a day before. We were happier about this by four than buying a house. What? Yeah, we bought a house. Congrats. You're just gonna throw that in there in the middle of this story? I don't wanna talk about it

because I'm kind of stressed out by the whole thing. Not because I don't want the house, not because I don't like the house. Oh, it's very stressful. It's a serious process. People keep going like, what are you gonna do with this room? And what are you gonna do with this? How would you do this room? And like, what are you gonna do with this room? And what are you gonna do with this?

How would you do this room? And like, where are you gonna put this thing? And I'm just like, I don't, my sister, we just were at the house and my sister goes, so would you maybe like paint this? And I was like, Lauren, I don't care. And she just left and she goes, oh, I forgot. I was like, I don't, and I'm not trying to be like,

I don't care because I'm cool and like paint colors don't matter to me. I literally don't even understand how you could care. I just, it's already painted a good color. Like unless it was like a neon green brat, then I would just keep it. But no, if it was like, unless it was some gaudy color, I would, it would never occur to me

to change a room from taupe to an olive green. That would never cross my goddamn mind. And I am so embarrassed it doesn't, because it's so important to other people. And everyone else seems more invested in my house than I am, and I'm starting to feel really insecure about it. So I don't really want to talk about it, because I just don't. My dad's like, so you're going to have to furnish this big house? Going to have to furnish it? And I go, dad, I'm not talking about it. He's like, so you're gonna have to furnish this big house, gonna have to furnish it.

And I go, dad, I'm not talking about it. He's like, why are you even wanna talk about it? I'm like, cause I don't, I don't care. Like I don't know what furniture to put in. I'm burdened by if I get new stuff or if I get new stuff. And if I get new stuff, then I have to like take it with me the rest of my life. And then I have to take good care of it.

And I don't know, I don't know what kind to get. And then you have to make it match different things because there's color matching now that I'm aware of, and it has to match my undertow, some of my skin, and I just don't, I just can't. I can't be bothered with it. I am so, I'm like, I just wrote Chris today, I'm like, I don't think I'm meant to own a house.

Like, I can't handle this because I don't like the conversations around it. And I'm- Well, what if you didn't have any conversations around it, and it was just like Chris's purview to take care of the house? Because then there would be pictures of like hunting dogs up.

You know, like paintings of like, all paintings from his family, which I do want in our house, but like he has a different aesthetic than me. I had that painting up in my apartment for five years. He has a different aesthetic than me. And I do like his aesthetic. I like it mixed, but like,

there are some, like, it's the classic thing of like, I get mad after the fact when I've not put in any, I've let someone just do the work and then I go, I hate this. And they go, well, we asked you if you wanted to contribute. And it's just me doing more of that. So I know that I will have to contribute to, and he said he's gonna make it very easy for me that everything will happen on the weekends. I won't have to deal with, I don't wanna have to deal with plumbers. I don't want to deal with electricians.

And I will forget to offer them water. I will feel so rude in retrospect. Yeah, I just, it's a lot. It's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. But in the end, you have control over the situation, which is nice. Like, at no point is a landlord gonna tell you,

I've gotta come into your apartment at 5 a.m. on this Saturday to fix the wall. No one's ever done that to me. No one's ever done that to me in this apartment. It's never happened to me in the history of my life at apartments where a landlord has come in and like made my life hell. It's like, to me in the history of my life at apartments where a landlord has come in and made my life hell. It's like, I like renting.

And I know, I don't know what's wrong with me. I just wish I was a different girl sometimes than I cared about cabinets. And our kitchen is so big. It's so offensive. I should run, I should truly give the the space to like a company to come in and make food for homeless people or something like I feel like it is a literally waste. Are there any of you guys into cooking? I know you don't really cook right?

Chris could be but like I just don't he's like I'll cook for us. I'll use that kitchen. I'm like but then you're going to be cooking all day and then you won't wanna hang out and then we can't watch TV as easily because the kitchen doesn't have like a TV. I like when the kitchen and the TV room are like combined. Sure, you got a little. So you can eat and constantly get snacks. You got a counter and you can see through, it's an open floor plan.

Yes, so if he was cooking while I'm watching TV, then that makes like, then we can like talk and like, but we'll figure it out. It's gonna be great. I am under-slept and overly critical right now. Nothing seems good right now because sleep is so fucking important. It's the number one thing.

My body was aching so bad yesterday. I was losing everything. I would put the things in the weirdest places. I forgot my, I was literally wasted, it was, I was wait, literally wasted yesterday. It was like someone was walking around wasted all day long because I was so tired. People say that love is the number one thing and they make the heart and that's not true. It's sleep. Sleep is the number one thing. We should be doing this. Yeah, we should be

doing that. You can't love if you're tired. No, you can't. I mean, like when you're tired, it is just, you're the, no, you can't I mean like when you're tired it is just you're the worst person the worst version of yourself Hungry and tired and stupid things. Yeah and stupid and I was so dumb, but people are people love not to sleep though I feel like most people in my life don't sleep like everyone. I think I get more sleep than almost everyone I know You need to just get the amount of sleep that you are used to getting, and then you'll be functioning the way you are. Yeah. Can we go back to Jesse Eisenberg real quick?

Cause I just want to shout out Jesse. So Jesse Eisenberg, do you know where he lives? He lives in, he used to live in Bloomington, right? Yeah. He doesn't anymore. Well, he moved to Bloomington, Indiana, cause his wife's from there, and he lived there during COVID.

And then during a real pain, he's repping an Indiana University hat, almost the entire movie. It's like the most, it's the most, whatever. What's it called? It's the most- Representation? Representation.

Yeah. I use like Evergarden, except for the movie Hoosiers. But what about the movie? Yeah, I was gonna say the movie. That was about high school. What about the bicycle movie? Breaking Away, yeah, maybe Breaking Away. I used like ever gotten except for the movie. Yeah, I was gonna say the High school about the bicycle bicycle movie breaking away. Yeah, maybe breaking away. Yeah And listen all the Jared Fogle articles mentioned Bloomington. That's true Jesse Eisenberg from East Brunswick, New Jersey, which is like 20 minutes away from me.

His sister's Pepsi Eisenberg from the Pepsi commercials. Do you remember the little girl, the Pepsi girl with the curly hair? Wait, the little girl with the curly hair? Yeah, that's Jesse Eisenberg's little sister. Oh my God. Dimply little adorable curly haired girl with Jesse Eisenberg eyes. Jesse Eisenberg eyes. It is her.

I think calling her Pepsi Eisenberg forever and no one knows what I'm talking about. Pepsi Eisenberg is so funny. Wow. That's a really good little trivia. I had no idea. I'm guessing she still doesn't act. She doesn't. Because why would we not know who she is?

She's just proud of her big brother. That is so cute. Okay, that's really good to know. Do we have to go to break? His cousin is Jamie Eisenberg, who is a CBS sports fantasy analyst for football. No way, really? Yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah, it just keeps going. The Eisenberg family runs deep. Okay, well let's go to break and unpack more of this when we get back. Just kidding. This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future we will all be

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Cancellation Island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days? Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science,

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This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio Can we talk about your high school? Oh yeah. I was inducted into the Kirkwood High School Hall of Fame on Saturday, I think. Yeah, Saturday my parents went and they accepted my award on behalf of Mwah. And because I was in Vancouver with Sean and we were landing in Vancouver and there was a coyote on the runway, by the way, that really happened.

We were about to get down. I was sitting next to Sean. I was right. Truly, truly horrendous from Feet from touching down. We were this close to the ground and then we just went back up. Oh my gosh. And we went back up and that makes me nervous not because we went back up. It makes me nervous because a plane going back up means things aren't, that's not the

plan and so whenever you have a plane doing something that's not the plan, you just hope everyone's communicating in the right way that that's not the plan, you just hope everyone's communicating in the right way, that there's not gonna be any collisions, you know? If your plane goes by plan, like our plane landed on time, I'm not worried about a collision, things are on time. But when things are just starting to, that's when I was like, oh no, now we were talking.

We were talking about how after the DC crash, a new fear has been unlocked in flying a plane, when you're on a plane. I don't care at all about crashes anymore of a malfunction and then the plane just going, rawr, I am literally only scared of collisions now. That's all there is. Didn't even know I was supposed to be scared of that.

And I'm not even, I'm always scared on the runway now. The runway isn't safe even when you're on the tarmac, on the ground, not safe. It's just, but us picking back up, and then they told us five minutes later, there was a you're on the tarmac, like on the ground, not safe. Like it's just, and then, but that us picking back up. And then they told us five minutes later, uh, there was a coyote on the runway. And I go like, hi, yo, and it was, he said coyote, like he was an old ranch hand. Like using true grit. Sean was like, like John Wayne is our foot.

You want to be your pilot. Wasn't he? You want to be your pilot? A coyote. I want all my pilots to say coyote. If my pilot says coyote, I'm like, you don't know how to fly this thing. Yeah, that is a pilot way to talk. But Sean made the hilarious observation that they were doing the trolley experiment on our plane.

You know what the trolley thing is? If you pull the lever, you kill three people instead of four or whatever. And so it's like, does it count? That you like, he did that with like, either you kill a coyote or a plane of people. And he like chose to sacrifice a plane of people for a coyote, even though I would argue that if we hit the coyote, that would be bad for us.

But he was an animal lover. Yeah, and I don't stand by that. You know, there is a bar and the, I would sacrifice a coyote for a plate of people, but. It's not a dog, it's not a cat, it's not like a baby squirrel. It's a fucking coyote. I think it's a combo of a dog and a cat

and a baby squirrel. They're crazy. I felt bad for that coyote. Like that instantly was my thought of like this poor thing that's just like looking around at this barren tarmac trying to find any fucking food probably just gonna get shot eventually so sad but um yeah so anyway we were in Vancouver when I got inducted into the thing and so did your parents like did they prepare a speech for that for it were they like really they read

my statement oh I see yeah and and I, and I think that's the way they wanted it. Because I had forgotten to thank, I made a video too and I forgot to thank someone really important in the video. And so I was like, fuck, I was gonna have to like make a new video and have it cut into the video and be like, I forgot this one guy. And so my parents were able to read that part. But it was, yeah, it was like sweet.

And they were really proud. And they said that everyone else, like a bunch of people were being inducted. And they said everyone's speeches like referenced, you know, oh, I thought I was special until I realized Nikki Glazer's on this one. So I'm nothing. But then I did get a lot, like they said,

there was a lot of mentions of me being dirty and how like oh If you can you know don't watch her act with your own grandma like there's a lot of that going on grandma Am I or like don't get the kids get the kids out of the room or whatever and like how? Ironic it is that this is like a high school is gonna have a plaque of like this Disgusting comedian who's going to hell? I don't think they like especially said, but then my parents said that two people in their speeches said fuck,

and how it was kind of really not the tone of it. And I'm like, yeah, I'm the one that gets told that I'm constantly inappropriate, even though I think fuck is a fine thing to put in a speech no matter where you are. How many people got inducted into this class? I think it was probably like 10 or so. So like every year, 10 people get inducted?

Yeah, something like that. Maybe seven or eight. Yeah. Yeah, I forget exactly. Oh, I was supposed to give a shout out to someone who listens to the podcast, Rory. And then who's the other one? Robin listens to the podcast. She's a local in St. Louis.

I think she was inducted in, maybe she was someone that was, I don't know what it was. I'm so sorry, Robin. My parents just said that they met you, that you're a huge fan. And then your son Rory was like, she listens all the time. And then my parents were like, we're gonna tell Mickey, Rory said hi, and he thought that was cool.

And I was like, okay, I'll give Rory a shout out. So shout out Rory, what up? Skippity toilet. No cap. I heard you have Riz, whatever, you know, you get it. Go get a Beastable and fucking celebrate that someone said your name on a podcast. Hell yeah, dude. So now, do they have your picture up

like in the hallway of this high school? Is there like a special area for this? There's a special area that has my name, but I believe the picture is not put up. I think it was like on a poster that they had like, you know, lining the halls. But there were so many teachers at it. And I, and I, during my speech, I just listed every teacher that I liked at all. That was nice to me and like, was like a joy to be around because I was just like on the

off chance that they hear this, that would be cool. And one of the teachers that I included, who was a physics teacher, that really made me understand physics, and I don't think I would have any grasp of it. And I have some grasp. Like I literally don't even know, like I remember taking the subject and being intimidated by it,

and Mr. Barton like really made it accessible. He made me feel. Yeah, you mentioned him before. He was awesome. And so I put him in the speech thinking, he is long gone. Like he was a young guy at the time. I'm like, he's changed school districts. He's probably got out of the business. They wrote me and were like, Mr. Barton's still there. And we're so excited to like show him this video.

And that to me was so cool because like, he's not going to remember me as a student. But hopefully that will validate give him some kind of validation for the like, I think it's just important that no matter what subject you teach, whether or not your students are interested or even good at the subject, you can have the most profound effect on a student because all my favorite teachers were not my favorite subjects. They were actually subjects I was quite bad at, and they still made an impact on me about who the person I wanted to be and all that stuff. That was really fun to give those shout outs and then to find out they were still around to hear it.

My favorite teacher of all time, Madam Calphus, she wrote me and said, I was at the ceremony and thank you so much for, you know, saying those nice things about me. And she said that like, sadly, we lost Mr. Platt so young. And I'm like, no, I found out Mr. Platt died. That was kind of sad. But, but they were apparently, apparently, yeah, it was like a really great ceremony. My parents were so cute and proud to be there. I love them so much. It was so nice that they were like, it's just nice that they're so psyched to celebrate all these things. And they write, I was on Kelly and Regis, or Kelly and Mark yesterday, and they just wrote me the nicest text about, you're so good on these shows. Oh my God. You know, like they're just so celebratory

and Noah, you wrote me the nicest thing about that too. Like it, that, you know, when I do it, Kelly and Mark, like not a lot of people see it. I don't get a lot of feedback from fans cause it's like a different, you know, it's a different demo. You are so good on daytime TV. Yeah. So nice. So nice.

I watched it on YouTube yesterday and you were really great. And I was shocked that it was just, they did it at the place the Oscars were. Yeah, that was crazy. Wasn't it? It's so wild. So wait, when was this? Final thought. This was literally Kelly and Mark tapes.

They take over the stage at midnight and they bring in all their people and they redo the stage to bring in Kelly and Mark. And they've done it for like three years in a row right after the Oscars and So it was very confusing of what I was to wear because you you dress a certain way for daytime TV when it's in a studio But not when it's in like the Oscars Dolby theater stage, right? And so it was crazy to walk out and see a whole room of fans at literally 6 in the morning I got there at 4 had to wake up at 3 Who six in the morning. I got there at four, had to wake up at three. Who was in the audience?

Fans of Kelly and Mark. And I go, this is a paid audience, right? Like you can't, I don't, I know, I understand the show has fans, but not six in the morning on a Monday in LA for a huge theater. They filled it up. They filled it up. It was full. You're probably so excited because if you get there early enough, you could kind of be sitting in the same seat that like Timothy Chalamet was sitting in like eight hours before.

Oh my God, that's such a good point. That would have been so good to point out. I wish I would have thought of that. That's so funny to be like, do you know that Timothy Chalamet was sitting right where you were? Kendall was right, or Kylie was right there for some of it. I think she got up during when his ex-girlfriend came out to present. It was just so crazy to watch because like, I saw you do Kelly and Mark in New York and it's like,

you know, a TV studio. So it's tight and small. And this is a cavern. Huge. I didn't know where to play because I was on a stage where it's kind of similar to the performances I'm doing now in these big theaters. So I kept, I was talking to Kelly and Mark, but then I would do it to the audience. So I was like, I like kept like, I was talking to Kelly and Mark, but then I would like do it to the audience. So I was like, I don't know, am I supposed to do the camera, the audience? Like I didn't, I, it probably looks, I don't want to watch it cause it probably looks insane.

Cause I didn't know where to talk and it was- It's perfect. Perfect. Thank you, thank you. You were supposed to play to the audience. Oh, I went big to the audience, but sometimes when you do TV, you're not supposed to play the audience.

Like it's like a waste too, because they're just there for sound of laughter and if you want to look good on TV, you're supposed to not do it. So sometimes I have to ignore the audience even though I always want to play to them. But as a stand up, you always want to play to an audience. So it's kind of confusing. But yeah, so I didn't sleep. I went right from the Oscars parties, which were, I seen Chapel, Ronan, Elton John was incredible. So glad I went to that, even though it was like a different

group of people. Like you go to that and it was like, I went from like the most exclusive cool party with the most famous people in the world to like a different, like I thought it was also going to be that exclusive, but it was a different crowd. That was the party that I should have been at, to be honest with you. It was more my speed of people. A lot of people that like, I got to say, can everyone just like, if you see, I'm not even that famous, but people when they, I was pretty famous for this party. Let me just say, I was probably one of the more famous people at this party. And that is not bragging. I'm not thinking I'm cool. But I could just tell when I walked in, people were like, whoa, you just get that sense.

And I am just trying to get, everyone's trying to get close to the stage to just be close to the stage, but they're not even singing along. And if you know Chappellrone at all, she doesn't want you just standing there. If you're not going to do the hot to go dance, get hot to go home. Hot to go home is what I should've said. Pokemon go to the polls. Exactly, oh my gosh. So I was just trying to get close

and a second people would see me next to them. It wasn't everyone, but I guess they were a little drunk too. They would be aware of me and keep looking behind to watch me enjoying it. And then I feel like me having a really good time and singing along, it becomes like I'm being watched. So then I feel like I'm performing, but I'm also like, wait, no, I'm just having a good time. But do people think that I'm performing? I don't want anyone to think that I was singing along and dancing because I think I'm cool or something.

So I just, and these people are not cool about it all. I know what it's like to be, like to see someone that you might be like, oh my God, this person's right next to me. Be cool, sneak a picture all you want, but dim your screen first. Don't keep turning back to see if they're having a good time and looking. I was so uncomfortable by this one man who would not stop looking at me and

every second was just like, did she laugh at that? Is she laughing at that? Is she looking at that? It was so weird. I just, it gave me a sense of like what actually famous people deal with. And it is people are just, just be a little bit more discreet. I just don't understand people just gawking. There's the same thing that happened when I was first around someone famous, Amy Schumer, when she blew up that summer, we are checking into a hotel and the girl next to us was whispering to her boyfriend, that's Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer was right next to us, but really loud whispers and I go, she can hear you. I like was so annoyed.

I go, do you think she can't hear you? I go, we're not in a zoo. There's, I go, she's not on TV. She literally can hear you. And she was like, Nick, Jesus. And I was like, I'm just, cause I was witnessing it so much that weekend that I was like, what is wrong with people? Because I am those people.

I get excited by celebrities, but just you can text your friend next to you. You can write, get the app that is called Big, and you can write text on that and then show it to them and go, Amy Schumer's next to us, dim your screen when you take a picture, turn off your flash. There are ways to capture and exploit celebrities

just as much as I would want to that aren't obvious. God, wake up. People just like, have you ever looked in a mirror? You exist, you're a person that other people can see. It's just so, it was confoundingounding to me and it made me uncomfortable. And I wanted to get the fuck out of there. Well, I don't know. Are we supposed to look in mirrors or not? Yeah. No, but I was just doing a callback, but it was it was rough.

No, I I will say as somebody, I've only really ever done this once where like it blew my mind that a celebrity like I was at like a dive bar in LA and Kirsten Dunst was there. Yeah, I literally couldn't stop talking about it. I like broke my brain. You weren't saying it with an ear shot of her and it's audible. I was whispering. I was trying to be funny. I was being really loud. So like, here's the stuff to be like, who is this magnetic man? That doesn't bother me at all. We would all do that.

I wanna be very clear. I love when people ask for photos. I love when people point at me and are like whispering to their friends, like that really doesn't bother me. It's like when you are close to me and you're not even talking to me, you're acting like I'm an object.

So if you were to talk to me and go, I love you, it's so good to meet you, like that's fine, but like acting like that celebrities are, and this is obviously like, who cares celebrities? Oh, it's, we're life is so hard. Like even I'm reading all of these articles about like Demi Moore deserved that and poor Demi. I'm just like, she's fine. You guys, she's going to be okay. I know it does suck. And it would have been very cool to see an older woman who was in this movie about being an aging woman in Hollywood and how it sucks. And like she kind of, Marguer Qualley kind of.

Who did win, Zoe Saldana? No, Mikey Madison. Oh, Mikey Madison. Who I think absolutely deserved it as well. Like it kind of is ironic that she did a movie about being replaced by a younger version of herself. And Mikey Madison is arguably kind of a, you know, she's like the next big enginu.

And she's always, and Demi Moore's always been called a popcorn actress, which I didn't hear about until Demi Moore told us all that she was called that. Like, what does that mean? I think it just means that your movies make money and that like, but you're not like a serious act. Yeah, it's so much better. I thought it was like they get paid in popcorn.

No, no, that's Lauren Michael. Am I thinking of elephants? That's me on my rider. Yeah. Can I just say quickly for Enora, shout out to my friend Sebastian Cannelli, who was in Enora. And now he's what? He was the the tow truck truck driver. Cool. He was the tow truck driver in Enora

at the end of the movie. Um, so now he's in a movie that won best picture, an Oscar for best picture. Oh my God. Wow. That's so cool. Mikey Madison, by the way, I really like her vibe.

She just seems like a really nice person. And I am able to clock this. I think I'm better than most people at seeing which celebrities are real good people and which aren't. And I heard a story this weekend about one that is not a good person and I was really bummed out about it, I can't remember who it was. I don't even think I'd tell you if I could remember,

but I was like, man, I actually thought that person was cool and they're not. But Mikey Madison just seems like a, just a, she really loves acting. She's a great, she's gracious, she's grateful, she's humble. I just, I like her vibe. Her speech wasn't like Adrian Brody,

nine minutes long, self-indulgent, throwing his gum at his wife who used to be married to Harvey Weinstein. Like, hasn't she been through enough? Like, like, I just, I, you know, shout out to Adrian Brody because he laughed at my joke at the Golden Globes and I loved it. And he was had a good sense of humor about himself. But that speech was too long. Self-adulgent. Someone pointed out on Twitter that Adrian Brody is like the Eli Manning, where he's won two big he's won two big games and then everything else is just interceptions and it really is The truth but it's your body great actor

Listen to when they start playing you off like they're doing that not just to hurt your guys Tax crack me upwards on I was one of you who was like, wow I didn't even know you could do that, but why did we think we couldn't? You know? Like, why did we all, we all thought he was gonna get shot or something if he didn't get off stage,

but you can just tell the orchestra stop and they'll all quiet down. Like, that was literally insane. And then him throwing the gum at his wife, like everyone was disgusted by that. I really wasn't actually disgusted by it. I thought it was kind of cute. They don't care about germs.

And she's like, yeah. And it's like this Oscar winner throwing his gum. It kind of brings it back down to earth. But I do have to say, when actors, certain actors, there were a couple that won awards that night. I thought Mikey Madison was just herself. She was just a normal person, grateful grateful to win in shock and all those things. Some of them, the other ones, I'm like, is this a monologue? Is this an audition

for the next thing you're doing? Like, I don't trust Adrian Brody being emotional because he's an actor. Like it just seemed like acting to me. And maybe that's just because I don't, I'm not aware of his acting style and maybe it's not at all like it. And maybe he's allowed to get really profound and emotional during that. And of course you would. But there was some people, there was one other speech that I was just like, come on, this is like, I'm watching an audition.

I just, it seems scripted and it seems way too emotional and let's all just be more real. But I don't think they can. I don't think they can be real because if they're real, they have no control and they need a script in order to be good. In order to be a really excellent actor, you kind of have to have no identity. I think, that's my theory.

And you have to just be like, oh yeah, so like when you are allowed to speak, you have to have some kind of plan to play a character of sorts. Yeah, exactly. I think there's some actor who talked about that, that like a good actor who said, like, I am retiring from acting or maybe it was Daniel Day-Lewis who said, I need to figure out,

maybe it wasn't, I don't want to put this on him. What I am. Yeah, like I have been a different person for my entire life and it takes from you. Every time, because that person, like maybe even Leonardo Caprio said this after The Revenant, it's like every time you play that character, the character doesn't leave you. It takes a part of you and then gets absorbed into your being. And the more you do that, the less and less

your core being becomes and the more you become these other people. And so at a certain point you have to be like, wait a second, who am I even? If you're good. That's how good actors feel. I don't wanna sleep inside of a bear carcass anymore. Do you think Tim Allen felt that way

after doing the Santa Claus? I think so. OK, we'll talk more about Oscars. I want to talk about how well Conan did and stuff like that tomorrow on the show. We didn't cover it all, but we covered a lot. Thank you, guys, for being here. Thanks for listening to the show.

We will see you tomorrow. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Brian. Thank you, Noah. Don't be cut. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, what's up, y'all? This is Eric Andre. We will see you tomorrow. Thank you Sean. Thank you Brian. Thank you Noah. Don't be cut. Bye

Hey, what's up y'all this is Eric Andre. Well, they made a podcast called bombing about absolutely tanking on stage I tell gnarly stories and I talked to friends about their worst moments of bombing in all sorts of ways bombing on stage bombing in public Bombing in life. I want to know what's the worst way they ever bombed or have they ever performed way too drunk or high or was there ever a time where they thought they were going to crush and they stunk it up. Listen to Bombing with Eric Andre on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Bombing, Bombing, Bombing with Eric Andre. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi. And what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously.

Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is John Cameron Mitchell, and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation Island, stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes. But don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like Bad Touch Football, Anti-Racism Spin

Class and Mandatory Ayahuasca Ceremonies are designed to force the cancel to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing. Karen, where have you brought us? Cancelation Island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancelation Island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Will, do you ever get overwhelmed by how much science happens these days?

Constantly. I'm like, ah, there's so much science, I can't keep track of it all. Then it's a good thing our podcast, Part-Time Geniuses, counting down the 25 greatest science ideas from the past 25 years. That's right, Mango. We're talking animals. In a paper called, quote, chickens prefer beautiful humans.

Right. This was actually the title of the paper. I like this. They all discovered that much like humans, chickens are attracted to symmetrical faces. Got it. We're talking medical miracles. He's an endocrinologist who found a way to stimulate insulin-producing cells using,

wait for it, the saliva of a Gila monster. There's no way to make that not sound crazy. We even talked to some of the experts behind these breakthroughs. It's a week full of fact-packed stories you won't want to miss. So listen to the part-time genius countdown of the 25 greatest science ideas of the past 25 years, starting Monday, March 3rd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.