The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #57 Haute Couture Egg

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Between You and Nikki she is not at all bummed about forgetting her make up bag on her last flight. Andrew slept well after adding "girlfriend" to his vernacular. Nikki aims to make decisions based off what makes her feel good including buying flowers for herself. You Heard It Here First: Nikki could work at Medieval Times, nothing is really original and stars always go first. The Top1 Bottom1 has them talking about fashion trends. And in the Final Thought Nikki encourages besties to not do the obvious thing. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Here's Nikki. Hey guys, guess what this is the sound of? Ah, if you guessed a Celsius drink, you're right I'm out of my own sodas this morning And water, I'm just not into water right now Neither is the world, because we're running out of it But I asked Andrew If I could have one of his Celsius's If you don't know

If you haven't heard that past show I used to give Andrew shit About drinking these drinks Called Celsius It led to a pretty big argument Actually Because I'm just annoyed by them

Because I wondered I tried to guess why He was drinking them They're these little like They're like red You know They're like these diet drinks

That you find at gyms That they're always selling this one's called sparkling kiwi guava it's a beautiful can which marketing is everything you know like the packaging if something's pink i'll buy it um but the reason i hate these and i just i think that andrew thinks he's actually burnt fat that is why i was annoyed but he really got got them because Dustin Poirier drinks them and he was trying to get off coffee and they're made with like, they have caffeine like tea in them instead. But here's the thing that bothers me.

Oh yeah, it says essential energy. By the way, they all have this cross thing and an asterisk by these points. Essential energy just has an asterisk. Essential energy accelerates metabolism. No, it doesn't. There's no way. If there was a thing that accelerated metabolism,

everyone would do it. Can we all just realize that when things tell us, and then this is the one that bothers me, burns body fat. No, I told Andrew this morning, I i go can i have a celsius i know i'm eating my own words here um by asking for one of these but my zevias are out and he was like yeah you can i go i just want to burn some body fat this morning by just chugging a celsius it's like ever marketing is i get i get duped by it constantly I think I mentioned this before I wanted to do a

haul of my Sephora stuff that I I wanted to do a Sephora haul I ordered like like 700 worth of like stuff from Sephora and I that is not like a price brag that is a um I gotta say though I don't shop a lot for new stuff so it was like one big ass haul all of all my like you know what is a haul oh i heard you use that before but i'm not quite i've never a haul is a corridor that you use to walk down no a haul h-a-u-l is um it's like the slang for um when someone on youtube kind of uh it's when you buy a bunch of stuff from one place or maybe you go on a shopping spree. So it's like usually hauls are things that you do on YouTube where it's like, oh, I'm going through my Forever 21 haul. And it's like you just go through your bag and like show everything you got to your followers.

Like yesterday I was at the drugstore picking up some makeup because I, or at Target, actually. Oh my God. If you guys saw my Target spread yesterday, please go look at it now if it's still up. I doubt it is by the time this comes up. I'll try to post it on the story on our podcast page, Nikki Glazer Pod. I went nuts at Target yesterday what a haul I should share that one but I've already unpacked it all I realize when I'm going through getting new makeup which I had to get because I left all that you know all the makeup I got in my $700 haul from Sephora I left it on the goddamn plane uh coming back to to St. Louis from LA it's like you know underneath when you're getting off the plane everyone's just like so I take my time i'm never when people are like you can go i'm always seated

in the front of the plane because i get a low boarding group where i pay for one to the front desk i was c20 i was c37 on southwest and i go hell no and i told my assistant i go i'm just gonna i have a hundred dollar bill in my purse i'm just gonna pay a hundred dollars to someone to switch and give me a window seat which would be a funny thing to do um and someone make a hundred bucks but then it was only 40 bucks to upgrade to a15 so I did that and um when you're in the front of the plane people love to let you go out of the goodness of their heart when they don't know that my guitar is two rows behind me and I I don't I'm not in any urge to get off the plane the bags are gonna take 45 fucking minutes to unload.

Like, just let me take my time. But I didn't. I scrambled. I forgot my makeup. And for the best, right? Because I forgot my makeup on the plane, which I freaked out at first because I landed on Thursday from LA. My mom picked me up at the airport at 630. I landed.

My bags took an hour because it was just a clusterfuck there totally fine stayed calm i had a driver that was coming to pick me up because the bill marshall booked me ground transportation on both ends i forgot so my mom and the driver are there my mom's annoyed because you had a driver nick i could have just gone to your dad's show but okay we need to go straight to my dad's show he did a live show at joe's cafe thank you so much to the besties that came i didn't get to say hi to all of you because i know glaze in the moon kings doesn't have uh 20 something year old fans drinking hard seltzers uh and on their phones and so i knew the best I knew the besties I saw you besties up in the balcony um I met one bestie who wore a Taylor Swift um leather jacket that was adorned with like

uh different patches of Taylor Swift's I caught I caught it from across the room he was walking during intermission with a friend um and I was like oh my god that's got to be a bestie he's wearing Taylor Swift he's probably trying to get my attention or maybe not. Maybe that's just what he wears. And then he had a Taylor Swift shirt on underneath it, one that I also have. So I was like, I need to be friends with that guy. He found me afterwards and gave me,

I'm seriously still so touched by this. If besties, if you come out to show, or if you ever see me in public, I love handwritten notes. I love little gifts that have anything to do with Taylor Swift. As you know, he gave me a Taylor Swift reputation tour guitar pick that was used during the reputation tour by her guitar players. And he got it from an ex-girlfriend who worked backstage. And he was like, I have a bunch of them,

or else I wouldn't part ways with one of them. But I've never not lost a pick. And this is the only one I will keep forever. It was the greatest gift I've gotten from a fan. No offense to any of other fans that give me stuff. I also got signed Taylor Swift CDs from fans. So literally, if you just write a Taylor Swift quote on a

fucking piece of paper with a marker, you know your girl's going to like it. And you know what I'm into. It's not all just Taylor Swift, but it's mostly Taylor Swift. So I had to buy new makeup at Target, which I was grateful for because I spun it. I was thinking about all the things that were in that makeup bag. Oh oh my god I got this new IT cosmetics highlighting CC cream that I love okay well I'll get another one and actually the color I got wasn't right so this gives me an opportunity to get the right color I was going to be just wearing a beige kind of grayish color until that ran out now maybe I'll meet my husband because I don't have that great because what if I met a guy and he goes she looks sick

And then I don't meet that guy, but now i'm gonna get the right color Like all these things can spin into good. I know this is like a far-fetched thing, but I did go to target because I wanted to go to the grocery store yesterday and I go, you know what nikki you deserve to go to target like a normal Midwestern woman you never go shopping I went to target and I went buck wild I got new makeup, which brings me back to my first point. Makeup is so dumb and it's all packaging and it's all, I mean, I could have gone to Sephora or Ulta and spent, there's some products where I like, I know what I like. I like to spend

the big bucks, but guys, you could just get fucking ELF, you know, or um la girl i use all that stuff you know what noah i fucking love what i didn't know i watched an asmr tutorial didn't even mean for it to be makeup tutorial i was just watching this model have makeup applied to her skin while a woman talked to her like this and it was just so lovely and simple but I saw a thing I've struggled with with my brows I have brows that are like wiry pubes they are they are have a mind of their own every time I get my makeup done I they're always like can I trim them and I'm like I literally trimmed them this morning they grow so fast they are uh they're like old man's eyebrows like there's always like spindly blonde hairs that stick out in a different direction they're really long right which I'm grateful for because I've over plucked in some

areas so I can just kind of comb over parts of it so sometimes I leave it long so I can comb it down but the best thing that I didn't know about a new makeup invention which I'm always bitching about because I say that makeup is called makeup because they're making it up and we just feel like we need to buy these things but brow like glue it's not glue but it's like a paste that makes your eyebrow set on your skin flush so it like keeps it down because my eyebrows are always just poking back up and I can do whatever I want with a pencil but that's not keeping them down this is boring to any man but this is what we go through so anyway I picked up a bunch of new makeup I also at Target went buck wild in the toy section and I bought probably three hundred dollars worth of

uh really cheap toys up to seven dollars a piece to fill my trunk with so that I could bribe my nephew and niece Arlo and Poppy so that they uh become because I'm Santa I'm the real life Santa I told my sister again I told her about the Poppy thing on Friday you guys she wasn't thrilled it wasn't like she was mad my sister is cooler than anyone you she's so nice about me doing material about her and her kids and stuff she doesn't hurt at all I'm gonna get some things uh gotta get the sign off on some of these things if i do it on a special but for for the most part she's been so good she's a teacher and a mom and she let me make coin the word poppy at meaning dumb and i that's why i went out on instagram and i made a statement about poppy is not dumb she's like the opposite of Poppy she's so freaking smart

and she's probably smarter than I'm really actually like I said in the post I'm intimidated by her judgment of like she's just like kind of sees through me and like will see my bullshit she's like looking at me like I know Santa's not real and I even I can't even comprehend what Santa is yet she's two you know but I got them a bunch of gifts because I can't even comprehend what Santa is yet. She's two, you know? But I got them a bunch of gifts because I'm bribing them like Santa. I just don't think it's okay to tell kids around Christmas time,

Santa's watching, you better be good. And Arlo snaps too when you say that. He suddenly becomes so good. And it's like, well, that works, but it's also based on a lie. What if your Aunt Nikki was the real Santa and actually did bring a gift if you were good I'm I make a list and I check it twice so I went over there the other day and Arlo was a little

angel because I go Lauren have you been bribing him and reminding him that I bring a toy every time and she goes no I forgot I go no I'm not joking I am going to get a toy I'm gonna get hundreds of toys so every time I see your child which is like you know three times a year I am going to let him have a toy the funny part is though Arlo and I are very similar in that the anticipation of the toy is the toy right the toy itself when you get it you just go he'll throw it sometimes be like I don't and he'll cry because he didn't want it because he gets too excited and I understand it and she's like you thank her and I go you don't need to thank me you hate this toy be true to yourself he's so cute I wanted to say a couple more things before we bring Andrew in Conan's last show was on Friday I believe they usually do shows through Thursday but Conan's last week was last week if

you didn't notice on Instagram literally every celebrity in the world or any real any person in the world it almost became hack to make fun of the fact that you had done Conan and you just posted a picture where you're standing next to the TV with Conan on it because all these comedians that haven't been on Conan were getting a little bit annoyed with comedians being like this is me on Conan I'm celebrating Conan but it's really just like pictures of Conan laughing at me that was my post. And so all these comics that haven't been on Conan were like, here's me on Conan. And it's like them with their aunt who has red hair or something, you know? So it almost became hack as in like a tired joke premise to make fun of being on Conan when you're not. That's how many people were posting about Conan. And it was great because you know what?

First of all, he deserves it. It made me sad though, because I felt like this guy is dead. Like this is the, what the outpouring will be when he's dead, which is, it's nice to see when he's still alive. So he gets to feel it, but I know Conan and he doesn't let it in. I, as someone who has told him how much he means to me countless times um he doesn't want to believe it and um and he he just never thinks it's enough and everything like that and that's why I love him but I just wanted to say because I went a little dull on my statement on my caption about him because I just feel like I talk about him too much and it's just too gushy and then I read all these celebrities writing like John Mayer

wrote a book about him for his caption I'm like if John Mayer can write a book I can say some things about Conan so he'll never hear this but and he knows what he means to me but if you don't know what Conan means to me he's legitimately the funniest person on the face of the earth I give this title to a couple people. Let me first say it's Conan. I say it to Kyle Dunn again, a lot, David Spade. Uh, I'll put Dana Carvey up there. Schumer, like people in person, like just that are just home runs all the time. Always funny. Never let you down. Those are like my uh you know mount rushmore when i discovered conan in 1998 i posted about this before so i'm trying to put in new things that

you haven't heard me write about because i did do an interview with vulture about him in which i literally almost start the guy was like i've never heard someone talk so lovingly about someone and then they posted it was just me rattling off like his favorite my favorite bits which I'm glad because he knows how much I love him but when I discovered him in eighth grade my dad my dad has introduced me to most of my favorite artists besides Taylor Swift Wilco Conan Seinfeld not friends but like the things I was obsessed with my dad really exposed me to and um Conan was that one where he uh there was this great bit he used to do called satellite channels where he was like it's really cool here at the late night at nbc we have this amazing satellite on rockefeller center that gets all these amazing weird channels

from around the world very specific channels and so he and andy would flip through the channels and be like what's this channel and the channel i'll never forget was the Alienated Pigeon channel. And they go, the alien, they would always talk about the title and go, what could that be? All right, let's check it out. And they turn it on. And it was just different pigeons looking sad

that they're not included with other flocks of pigeons. So the funniest shot that I'll never, so also let me just backtrack one second. We'll get back to Alienated Pigeon. I also wrote in the article, I shouted out Brianrian mccann and brian stack to uh character actors and writers that were on his show brian mccann actually i ended up hiring him after he left conan to uh be my head writer for nikki and sarah live on mtv it was a total dream but brian stack is this guy that would play

if you you need to google this if you're a fan of the show i swear to god it would be the funniest thing you've ever watched brian stack on on conan the interrupter just type in conan the interrupter okay that guy's amazing his character and then the the ghost the crooning ghost he plays these two characters they're the funniest fucking characters ever but brian stack read my vulture thing thing where I talked about the alienated pigeon channel and he wrote to me on Twitter. We've communicated before and I've lost my shit. He goes, I was going to write you to say how much I loved your interview on Andy's podcast. Oh, Andy Richter, which is a great interview, by the way, if you want to check that out.

Three questions, Andy Richter's podcast. And then I saw the incredibly sweet things that you said in that Conanan article in vulture i can't tell you how much it meant to me that you enjoyed our work so much i name dropped a minute and that it inspired someone as hilarious as you it especially warmed my heart to hear you mention the alienated pigeon channel which by the way there's no documentation of this anywhere on google that i've looked for he says which is one of the the little pieces i created that I'm most proud of, which to me, Brian Stack is, watch The Interrupter and The Crooning Ghost, two desk pieces that Conan does with Brian Stack as those characters. And you tell me that this is, he's not going to be on my Mount Rushmore as well. Anyways, thanks so much. And best again, I said, oh my God, Brian,

congrats on the celebration this week of everything you guys did together alienated pigeon needle was the bit that i could not believe existed when i saw it it blew my mind and continues to i think about the lonely pigeon rolling up the car window as he watches a flock feeding all the time so it was this great you know the gray coupon commercials with the black car and then there's like a lonely old man in the back it was that pigeon looking out a window and then slowly the window rolls up like he's like and he's looking at a flock feeding and he's not involved and then the car pulls off it is so freaking funny i said thanks for writing and congrats on being my favorite comedic mind

maybe ever he said hi again nikki he wrote back i can't tell you how much it means this is the first time i'm reading this the fact that you even remember the alienated pigeons blows my mind and makes me so happy I still remember shooting that in Central Park and trying to make the pigeon in the limo sit up the right way in the window it's so funny congrats on all your well-deserved success much love Brian so so nice I just wanted to say that um my lack of enthusiasm about Conan besides the pictures I posted is no measure of the love I have for that man and how much he means to me. He is my Taylor Swift of comedy. And even though I am the Taylor Swift of comedy, but he's my, like, that's how much I feel

for him. And if you're ever bored, you guys, pull up Conan Jordan Schlansky, Conan Assistant, like on YouTube. It's the funniest stuff you'll ever see. And that is coming from someone who has seen so many funny things. Let's get Andrew in here. And I'm going to chug this Celsius. Andrew! Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Andrew. Hey. Oh my gosh, welcome to the show. The Celsius is delish.

Thanks for letting me have one. Of course. How does it taste? Well, my fat's burning off. I can't even taste because my body's working so hard. It's taking every kind of sensory gland I have and burning all my fat off. Yeah, I can see it melting. I'm a size negative 13 because I drank half of this.

Look, it's no ephedrine. Remember ephedrine? Like everyone was dying. I just don't understand why people are still following for this will make you skinny. It's very easy. Have we not proven that nothing works? I don't know. You're falling.

Your skin's melting right now. It's true. I look like I should be in a biology class in a high school. I'd freaking dissect you. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like I'm a skeleton in the corner smiling like, Hey, kids.

I hope you get an A on this test. Skeletons are always smiling. That should be our merch. Skeletons are always smiling. Did you like dissecting frogs? I didn't. Hell no. I felt so terrible about it.

I was like Jesse spano or whoever wanted to protest it in uh say by the bell because it was mean to frogs oh my god it was so crazy when you had to pin them remember you had to pin them down the skin i don't want to oh god i don't i well hold on let me just finish my thought real sex sex sex in the city i swear to god i've been saying sex all i literally told my maid this morning i go i'll be down in one sex and then i type type sack i mean people would say it's a freudian sex i mean i i didn't say i want to fuck my dad uh your eyes do wait a second well if you take out that i know i was just trying to i to for you i was just trying to be as like but if you take out that i don't want to say it just said i want to fuck my dad i don't want to say i want

to fuck my dad but if you could really yeah doctor that um things that say burn fat i just i know i get on my little like soapbox about the shit but i just feel like the stuff i've found in my life dealing with no nutrition and having a mild to severe eating disorder for 18 years is that humble brag thanks um it's so not it's so pedestrian to have an eating disorder like just admit you have one everyone let's just get on board even though my mom took the test and she didn't have one and i was really i felt disconnected from her but um the thing is i was just listening to my ex-boyfriend's radio show this morning and there was an ad for like you know some kind of med spa that sucks out like liposuction or whatever

uh liposuction or what you mean the thing liposuction it was like some new thing i did a thing called m sculpt where they hook up paddles to your ass and i really do think that toned my ass it was i think i hate to money drop and i know that sometimes it sounds like i'm bragging that i'm rich but i just want you guys to know how much things cost and how dumb i am with money i spent like three thousand dollars for three it's a thousand dollars per treatment three times i went and it shocked your butt for a half hour and um and it feels really good on this though like where did you spot a place where you go to get filler and um and laser skin care i haven't had anything in so long i i had botox before i did uh f boy island but uh in terms of filler or any kind of laser facial i used to

get that shit every month and then the m sculpt my butt literally got bigger because of that so i do recommend that but this lipo stuff wait you do recommend it now that's what that one i do but it's the ones that suck your fat out it's not gonna suck your fat out your fat and by the way like no crunches are gonna make you have your six-pack is hidden underneath belly fat so when working out isn't i just want to say it's not the best way to lose fat. And I know that some people might be like, you're wrong, Nikki, because it'll help you adopt a healthier lifestyle.

It really is about managing your overeating. And a lot of overeating happens because you're working out too much. So as always, if you want to know what I've done to get over my eating disorder and have a healthy relationship for now that I have to work on every day with food you can always dm me and I'll tell you my secrets um Andrew how have you been how was your weekend fantastic had a great time with my girlfriend I know he's calling he I was at the gym I was at the gym and this guy I was introducing Brenna and I go yeah this is my girlfriend Brenna and it's just like so much quicker to say than

this is the girl I'm dating. This is my friend and then you kind of tense up and yeah. And I could see her smile a little bit and I didn't want to bring attention to it but I know it made her really happy. It's so cute. You talked about it later with me and her there. I had such a good time with your girlfriend this weekend. My girlfriend. And now I had such a good time with your girlfriend this weekend.

And now, and now I feel, but I feel more comfortable that she's your girlfriend. It's just like it, I, this, this weekend. And it's so sad. She's leaving because the last week we kind of got to it,

but Andrew had got some bad, sad news that she was accepted a job in Chicago, which is great for her on all, by all means, except that, you know know she's leaving here where she has you but chicago is close and if it's meant to be it'll be but this weekend i got to talk to bretta a lot and hang out with her and she's just like i just love her i was like thinking like i was like oh my god i can be friends with andrew the rest of my life even if he gets married

and like this can work you know yeah sometimes you think like it might you might not be able to keep your best platonic uh male friend which is bullshit because i could be bi and let my husband would let me keep all my girlfriends that might want to eat like eat my box not that you want to eat my box but you know what i'm saying like yeah why do we allow that so this weekend i just felt like I was just like, I want Brenna around. I would want him to marry her and then we could all live together. Well, you said I remember like last week after I said the the uncle poem that everyone I'm sure has loved out there. You're like, you want kids, but we have a podcast.

And it made me like, think about that. Like, could I have kids as well as be your platonic friend and be there for you? No, you want kids? But we have a podcast. And it made me think about that. Could I have kids as well as be your platonic friend and be there for you? No. It would change. It would change, but I think... But everything has to change. But I could still definitely...

Can you imagine us living like this for the next 20 years? You and me just like... I mean, I kind of can. Honestly, my life is fantastic. Dude, our lives are so good right now. My life... I hate to brag. I hope out there everyone has all

the swells in their life my life is swell as fuck i mean there are things coming up that are scaring the shit out of me i gotta go on tour and i don't know what the fuck i'm gonna stay on stage but andrew you know me you've been touring with me for four years now have i ever known what the fuck i'm about to do on stage even when i'm about to step foot except for my special no but it dude you are another species. And I don't even think you understand how incredible your brain works. When Nikki will do a run through on Fallon and be like, Oh,

what was that line? Oh, that line. Oh, okay. And like, you'll like almost mess up word and then you'll go out. And if it was me,

I wouldn't be able to even go out there. I'll make changes to my Fallon thing it's fucking wild in the seconds before and you did it on she edits on the fly it's incredible I've seen it in action too

that's why it works for me because I'm really I'm grateful that that's how my brain works dude it's wild and you know what I'm grateful for listener

is that I'm not like this isn't some oh wow Nikki is more talented or my mind works in a different way than other people's that is true so does yours what I've what I've just done is that I have accepted that my method of working is different than anyone else's and different from the model that is often touted as like the best results like I maybe don't work as efficiently I don't

you know I don't do the Birbiglia method of like writing two hours a day. Even like my friend Jeff Dye, he wakes up and he goes and he writes every day and has this like routine and that works for him. And I've always felt, and I know you in your own life listening out there have felt like I need to do it that way. Like my way that is comfortable.

You know, sometimes you find another way that will yield more results. But what i've done is i've just accepted that i write in a different way it's not that i'm lazy i'm not i'm not not doing john mulaney's thing of you know going through notes whenever i would work with john mulaney he'd be backstage on his laptop looking at all these notes and i'm just like eating shoving like hummus and carrots in my mouth looking at up looking at my phone where there are two words written in a note and i'm like i hope this is now that's that works for me and

that's okay how did you get to the point to accept that because in my mind i would think oh but what if i wrote if i wrote would it because i tried because and you know what it is some when i do have to write a tonight show set and give them a transcript of my jokes written long form which is the only time i ever write my jokes long form only time i tend to think of so many tags so many different new things new ways of writing it i would be so much better that's what i'm saying because it doesn't bring me joy to work in that way i need to create a life in which you know this is the same thing for exercising. And I really want this to resonate with people listening is that I found, and I still have to work at this every day. When you make decisions in your life, healthy decisions where you're like, I got to get in

shape or I got to eat healthy. If you base it all off of what feels good and not depriving yourself, oh, I'm not allowed to have the thing i want or i'm i'm i'm i gotta work out and go do that spin class even though i hate spin class but like i know that burns a lot of calories find i hate when people say find an exercise that you like but honestly just keep trying shit until you do go towards what feels good because it might feel selfish because sometimes i do have to cut it and go okay you've been doing a lot of that feels good because it might feel selfish because sometimes i do have to cut it and go okay you've been doing a lot of that feels good to you and that's a good excuse to just do whatever you want all the time at the expense of others but guess what guess what feels good doing good for other

people and when you are in a happy place because you're doing things that are not depriving yourself because you're punishing yourself or going to a class because you're punishing yourself or having to clean that room because you're such a gross slob leave the room messy go do something nice for yourself and i bet you when you treat yourself kindly and don't admonish yourself you're gonna want to clean that room in a natural way and you i know you don't expect it to happen but it will it will happen that you want to clean that room and you won't be punishing yourself when you do it you'll just be like i deserve a clean room. I saw Mike Tyson on Rogan, and he was talking about, he's like,

you gotta do things you hate, and then love the thing you hate. I'm fucking up the quote, but essentially, go towards the thing you hate, and I'm not just trying to be contrarian to what you're saying, but what is that? No pain, no gain is like, it's all that stuff. Have you ever heard of George Carlin?

He goes, no pain, no pain. No pain, yeah. Well, that's what I was watching George Carlin last night. I just, I have always gone towards pain because I like pain because it means, oh, on the other side of this, I finally get to reward myself because I don't deserve to feel good

unless I've put in the work, right? That's how we always feel. But when I've switched in the work right that's how we always feel but when I've switched it to what feels good I am in such a better place to do the things that I would once avoid like for instance for me to have a good relationship with food and myself and to love myself I absolutely need to get out of myself which is like know, my show is called the Nikki Glaser podcast. I'm tweeting about myself all day. I'm reading tweets about myself. I'm getting Google alerts for my name. I have staff of people who are just invested in the brand of Nikki Glaser and we're

all going to make money and all have jobs and all have fun. It's me, me, me, me, me. I'm talking right now and not letting you get into words and edge and edgewise I am so self-centered and so when I am in my best state though I look to ways to help other people and I'm not patting myself on the back for this but for instance I had like three hours to kill the other day I had nothing going on which is rare for me and I just wrote my sister I go please let me do something for you that you is on your to-do list like going to get groceries you can pay me back I'm not like saying to pay for them but let me just do a thing for you that you don't owe me anything it's just because I I go because my sister goes you don't

have to do that and I go it's again it's selfish but when you love yourself and you treat yourself well things that feel good to you often are things that are good for other people because you just you feel complete so you want to make other you want to help other people yesterday i bought myself some flowers i was you know feeling i was at trader joe's you're very nice to me yesterday i was well you you got me groceries when you went to get grow you asked me and you and you switched my laundry which is just a little thing but i don't know it just hadn't made you thought about me yeah i don't know no i i i like to do it i like doing that i was like thinking about how i'll like to fold my

husband's i was like almost going to fold your laundry because i was like it's just like a nice loving thing to do for someone you care about and Just make sure you don't leave your underwear in my laundry. That was fucking insane. Did you talk about that already? No, but can I just finish my thought and we'll get to the underwear and then we are going to the news. Apparently. I got flowers for myself yesterday.

I bought a bunch of shit at Target Home Goods because I just wanted to spruce up my place and make it feel nicer. Spruce, spruce. Spruce, spruce up my place and make it feel nicer spruce spruce spruce spruce is coming to the uh st louis helium uh also you can see him uh june 28th through the first i don't know if that's true it's actually next week i think he's gonna be there bruce bruce uh but i was trying to spruce bruce and uh i saw flowers at trader joe's and they were you know 10 bucks but they were these beautiful roses and i i never know what flowers I like when guys get me flowers I'm always like would I want these you know would I have picked these out and I literally was like Nikki what

flowers if you were buying your flowers for you like to say to you you're not a flower person you haven't been in the past I am I love I love but they die you still always go they die in three days I would just rather someone spend money on a Starbucks gift card for me. But flowers romantically are something I really do like in a relationship. But what did you pick out for yourself? Because if you pick out for yourself, do you want it to be so like sexual or do you want it to be friendship self? You know what I mean?

I got a Venus flytrap. No, I got an old cactus um that i could sit on because i love pain so no pain getting raped by a cactus would be the worst just want to put that out there so um i got roses i looked at all the flowers and i go what would i want a boy to get me like what would i be like i feel so seen and it was this beautiful bouquet of pink flat pink roses with some yellow in there too like it almost reminded me of the lover uh theme colors from taylor swift's lover which is still my favorite album um and i'm still obsessed with that theme whatever so uh i got the flowers i get in my car and i'm leaving this like shopping center i see a

woman on the corner with her two young girls and she's holding a sign that says please help you know and they're in a like west county like people buying stuff at home goods and target and pet smart one of those like shopping areas and these two little girls are probably humiliated that their mom has to beg I mean they're they're probably in second grade fifth grade and I just felt I felt for those girls and thought, oh, someday I'm going to read these girls books. My mom had to stand up in the corner. And you know what? Maybe that, my mom would say,

maybe that woman is making hundreds of dollars a day standing there. Guess what? Worth it. That's an embarrassing thing to do. And if you're able to stand at a corner and ask for money and you make so much more money, then we think, good, you deserve deserve it i have weird negative thoughts like she's using her

daughters to get more money but no i know that's a horrible thought her not being with her her daughters should agree they should be running around but this is what i did i go i i call the woman over and i reach in my bag and i just whatever cash i had i gave to i didn't even care what bills it were because i was like god you know my idea of God just it I don't care if it was like a thousand dollar bill in there I would have given it to her and because I can't afford it let me just say that this ever not everyone could do this I gave her a big wad of cash which she's very grateful for and then I saw the two little girls and I waved at them and I go hi guys how you doing you know just to acknowledge like nothing about this is embarrassing I love you you look so cute i was just like you never said i'm nikki glazer no no i'm kidding i said

to the girls i go this is not embarrassing for you no i didn't say that um i said uh i looked and i mean i the girls smiled at me in a way that it felt like they felt what i wanted to communicate was nothing about this is embarrassing you're adorable and and I love you. And I felt like they, they went from being shy and kind of like, Oh, this woman's giving my mom money too. Oh, that woman's nice.

And then I go, actually I pulled up, I was pulling away and I go, I go actually come back. I go, would you like some flowers? I would love to give you flowers. And the woman came over and I go,

these are for all of you. You each, you each get some flowers. I was like, cause you're beautiful women. And I go go I go and happy belated mothers I maybe I didn't say that because it was father's day but I go you're a great mother and I gave her the flowers and they were so touched and it was I felt like a fucking hero leaving there even though and I really was patting myself on the back like on Seinfeld when Jerry saves uh he's eating at a restaurant where no one goes in he goes i'm really a good person he's chewing his food so self-assured so my point is these i really

wanted those flowers for myself i was excited to bring them home and be like nicky you got flowers for yourself and then in the end it was for someone else so it was like kind of what i'm saying is like when you treat yourself well you're able to treat others well for sure and it just happens naturally like that and so give give cash to homeless people try to reason that they it's embarrassing what they're doing even if you're like oh they're scamming everyone and they make thousands of dollars listen you wouldn't do that to make thousands of dollars they don't it's just i mean maybe the naked cowboy standing on the street yeah asking for money no one so just always remember that and and give as much as you can real quick with the underwear story andrew had a pair of my underwear in his

laundry so i i hook up with brenna she sleeps over she's leaving to go to work it's 7 a.m and she goes what is nothing i go what she goes no it's not a big deal whatever and i go what she goes there's just a girl's underwear on your floor and i go what i go first of all like all the girls i fuck don't wear underwear you know i mean we all know that no but i was just like i got really worried because i was like like because i know i'm not doing anything wrong so i almost feel even worse yeah and thank by the guy like first of all these underwear this is the most i said that this should be a atlantis more set ironic lyric they look like old skin for some reason this is the definition of irony okay so they were it was a it was a beige thong that my my um stylist in the cayman islands

for f boy island julie she uh she gave me these underwear and i pick them up though he picks them up and i see thank you god what is the only way that bretta would know they are not some other girls and that they are actually nickies it has your name on it yes thank you god they're the only pair of underwear i own with my name in it how ironic i wrote them in you gotta write it in all my underwear i'm gonna start with my name in it how ironic i wrote them in you gotta write it in all my underwear i'm gonna start writing my name in your underwear if you're cheating just find your best girlfriend that your girlfriend trusts you with and write her name in that underwear helga so she knows that it's just some woman at the laundromat that got it you know like some nasty name yeah

no one's just someone that you would think is real dumpy. No, I mean, the irony that the only pair, like she would have been suspicious, even though like he's trustworthy and she does trust him. That's why she didn't even want to bring it up. You know, the irony that those would be the only pair that would end up in his laundry and they happen to have my name in it. It's like when your girlfriend finds some underwear

in your laundry and you claim it's your roommate, but she doesn't believe you. And then her name's written inside. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? Don't you sex? Let's get to the news. Yeah, I really do think. We should get to the news.

On a radio show. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. I mean, can I call it like this might be one of my favorite podcasts? It's so good because we're also in our new podcast studio and people don't know how we're sitting. I know, you guys.

We're going to show you it soon. It's so good. It's so professional. I know. I love it. I'm so entranced by your mike's decision i i will talk about it it wouldn't it would the the we'll talk about it later yeah okay i hope you're having all the swells out there there we go sorry i ruined all the momentum and you're having a great time yeah

i take back everything i said this show is going into in the gutter real quick gutter time oh man but i hope you had a great weekend i hope some of you guys might have uh had some of this this weekend these are some of the best positions for mind blowing oral sex okay what are some of your favorite and we'll see if they're on the okay so my favorite one and this is a move i i i bust so i developed this With an ex-boyfriend What's this Research and development Yeah R&D

So we did some R&D In my relationship Yeah I like deep throating I like I hate how the penis Just crumples in the back Of your neck

I did a whole bit on this In my special banging It's like Your penis When you push it too far in And it doesn't take a big penis Please do not even think that It's like It just hits the back of your throat like there's a wall there it doesn't go

down like a drain snake you know this is all the bit i did so to extend me yeah exactly thank you so it does slow motion there's like a family of four um you gave flowers too there's a cross in the back of my uh on the side of my tongue. Randy Travis is playing. The penis that perished by hitting the wall in the back of my, so, I mean,

we went a lot of places on that analogy, but, okay, so my favorite position, and this is wild because I did R&D with my ex-boyfriend. We would always do this, and then I busted it out with a new person,

and afterwards, because of that position and maybe a couple other things afterwards this dude was like i feel like i just like you're like a porn star because of this one move and you guys what is the move i'm telling you okay so to make your neck to make the and i talked about this in my special as well so you might be familiar to make it so you don't have a wall in the back of your throat so it's a right angle you know if you're you lay on the bed with on your back you put your head off the bed just your neck like you tilt your neck off the bed there's a name for this it is called the kelvin the giraffe of the giraffe so the giraffe is you lay off you lay on your back you put your head off the bed and then it makes your throat your whole throat and your mouth one tube and

then you can get deep throated pretty easily and they can like kind of choke you with their dick and you can go and they like that sound and and then you spit all over them and it's fucking hot the guy that i did it with the newer guy was like not i don't think he liked deep throat but he was just like what are you doing and i go just trust me on this one why does he like deep throat because he i don't know he just liked it he felt like he didn't want to choke me he wasn't into like that kind of play where every i'm kind of into it like when i'm like i don't want you to suck my dick but i do own this sword that'd be cool oh yeah you can put a sword down your oh that's so funny that's

exactly thank you andrew that is so funny and i didn't get where you're going i could sword swallow i really could how do they do it how do they do they move their stomach they literally no they do the same thing that i'm doing they make it all one long thing and they open up their throat in a way um and if you yawn, I've been learning how to sing better. If you, when you yawn, just do a fake yawn right now.

Your throat opens in a way that it wouldn't open normally. And that's what you're supposed to sing with is your throat that open all the time. So you're supposed to like feel that. Oh my God, my vocal cords are fucking fried. So fucking hot in medieval times, like not medieval,

like during medieval times, you at medieval like during medieval times you'd be like sitting there eating a turkey an impossible turkey leg and fucking but and then you just take down a sword a fucking the knights would lose their shit i mean i was bulimic for so long and this is not a joke i just my gag reflex it there it's it should be very into because for when you're bulimic your body just knows everything's gonna come up so it starts i can puke like on command pretty much if i bend over a toilet it will just come up i know i'm just lucky like that there are a lot of girls in eating disorder things that i talk to that are like i could never be bulimic because i just couldn't get it just wouldn't work yeah or they have a throw-up scare but I um I got to the point where I would just

when I was really badly bulimic and doing it a lot I would almost I would throw up in my mouth sometimes and be like oh my god it just almost came I remember one time I was boarding a plane and I almost vomited everywhere just because I was my body was like get this up like we know it's coming up but because of that i i think in a way i've learned how to control it yeah and so i cannot puke on a guy's dick and if i do puke it's their fault for choking me that with it you know and then it's kind of hot because it's like you puke all over like i just don't care sex is so dirty anyway sex is so i had a guy stick his finger up my butt this weekend yes i did hook up you guys didn't have sex oh wait we didn't talk about this up top no and he stuck his finger up my butt and i um i was like no no no no no don't

do that like it's not good even though i wanted it so bad and i go i don't know what you're gonna find back there and he was like i don't fucking care and i was like that's the hottest like he just gave me permission to shit all over his hand he was bulimic at one point so he didn't throw up dude i uh the giraffe i just i never knew that was a i remember you saying that was a move brenna did it once and we were hooking up have you ever had this happen she ended up under the bed she was under told me about except for her head was sticking out from under the bed and then i was just scared dog the abused dog it's hides under the bed the booby man wait okay so show me these other oral sex oh yeah okay so you got this is the news by the way oh yeah so you got the 69 okay yeah 69 classic classic you like being on top i assume um you don't like 69 because it's too

much to focus on i do like um the guy on top is a crime i just don't like my pussy being eaten that much okay all right i just gotta say that i i just it's good for a little bit but it's not enough pressure for me the suction isn't the right speed i need i need penetration and suck it's just like it's not my favorite but if a guy is so into it of course i'll love it but by no means do you need to do that for me if we're in a relationship she was sitting on my face the other day but not completely on my face like half on the face like leaning and then i was able to penetrate her with my fingers oh that's good wow she was leaning like a 90 degree forward he told me a story the other morning because sometimes i'll tell him my sex stories and then he'll just bust one out and i

just and it's not a two-way street like i can be disgusting be like i almost shit on a guy's hand last night and he'll be like oh cool uh brenna and i'm like little brenna i i had a talk with her about her sister yesterday i don't want to hear about her having he goes she had we watched golf or we watched the basketball game basketball but basketball game and she had a dildo in her the whole time and i go you don't know what a dildo is a dildo is a giant dick she had a tiny slight vibrator in her yes yes dildo sounds bigger what's the difference between a dildo and a vibrator andrew uh really try to answer i know i'm thinking a vibrator vibrates. A dildo is more like a like a dick and possibly could have veins on it. Can a dildo vibrate? No. Good. Okay Noah do you know

the difference between a dildo and a vibrator? I mean a dildo is like I guess meant to be penetrating you. Yeah. And it could be like you could add a vibrator to a dildo. Yes, but a dildo when you just say dildo to me that does not connotate vibrations or like a little rabbit thing. It's like a very dick shaped object thing that you shove in there. What she had was about four inches and

like maybe like made a little thing on the G spot. Yeah, okay, so that's a vibrator. That's a vibrator. Okay, so she had a vibrator. Dildo just sounded so she had a vibrant dildo just sounded funnier maybe at the time i just don't want to picture brenna with a dildo unless she's i mean it was double-ended dildos for me are like porn seeing tiny she's such a tiny girl that i pictured a big old dildo and i was like it turned me on to be honest because she's so tiny and like i love tiny girls like taking big things that's like a porn thing that i like but not not my car not my best

friend brenna yeah your best friend brenna i love it next story i love that we're friends with uh possible whatever well you don't want to know anymore okay on your stomach yeah all the other are there any ones that you were surprised by that you want to share with me because i you know i'm i'm hooking up again and so i am well the sit kneel, like a lot of times people just lay down and get oral sex. I love sitting up and getting a blowjob. You told me about that. You were like, you, you sit on the bed and then she gets on her knees. I actually did that.

On off the bed. Because you recommended it. This is great. That's so fun. I actually did that because I had never done that before where you look like you're, I actually have a joke about praying and how my mom caught me praying and it looked like and i told her it was i was blowing a ghost because i was kneeling next to the bed much like you yeah well you had a bible out that's true i always i was the only way you could get higher you didn't have to put it under your knees but okay hey yo

that yeah that's a good one okay let's get to the next story all right oh man this one kind of annoyed me i i'd love to hear your take on this honestly corny love accuses olivia rodrigo of copying her whole album cover from 1994 who cares this it was rude of her and geffen not to ask myself or ellen van unworth who's probably a photographer it happened my whole career so I don't care um yeah okay so let me just tell you on the whole album uh live through this it's Courtney Love accepting is that Courtney Love it doesn't even look like her okay so it's a prom queen accepting roses and she has smeared mascara it's a very close-up picture and then on Olivia Rodrigo's uh uh picture she is also holding flowers it's more of a um portrait

while as the whole album cover looks more like of a candid shot but her makeup is also running i can see yes they are similar things holding flat like having a moment where you're the prom queen and also crying is not original no it's from carrie yeah and i was thinking that the whole time i was reading the article and not to pat myself on the back but then the photographer reading literally yeah just for putting words together i the photographer admitted like a year ago that like corny love talked to her for an hour about how we should do something like copying carrie so okay i mean corny love and now she's denying that it's carrie and it's irrelevant again i get it like i hate someone recently told me that he took up uh he

was like you know who's ripping you off and just wants to be you so bad and um and i was like who and he's like there's a comedian that like everything she does it's just like you want to be nikki glazer so bad and i was like I am so flattered already by this person then he told me who it was and I go I love that girl and the fact that she wants to be you think that she I don't see myself in her at all there's sometimes people tell me oh this person sounds like you and and I certainly sounded like people when I started out I did Sarah Silverman forever you guys know that and uh so the fact that this girl sounds like me i just i i told him he goes i'm so he was like it fucking pissed me off like be your own person i go listen you knocked off someone in the beginning i knocked everyone

needs to knock he goes she's been doing it too long though it to be that i go i am still flattered she is beautiful uh which is she's funny she's like i she's great and i said you know what don't pick my battle for me i go i appreciate it but it's i don't mind being ripped off it is the ultimate form of flattery and olivia rodrigo would not be with us today. We would not have good for you. Like if it wasn't for Taylor Swift, we wouldn't have Taylor Swift. If it wasn't for Joni Mitchell, we wouldn't have Joni Mitchell.

If it wasn't for Joni Mitchell's parents fucking like it's everyone's influenced by someone. Stop it. Stop. Stop going. This is a rip off. So what? Then don't consume it.

I know people think I get it. Courtney, I get it. Um, what you're called yet. So Rodrigo, don't consume it. I know people think. But I get it, Courtney. I get it. What do you want to call it? Yeah, so. Rodrigo. Rodrigo did reply.

Rodrigo did reply. Love you and live through you so much. So she took the higher road. Like higher than I think. Teens. I recently read on Reddit that teens are by far in the customer service industry nicer than boomers or millennials. Like a Gen Z is the nicest and they're the

most like empathetic yeah because they have woker parents but it is the same thing and i'll admit that i had a little bit of a courtney love thing when you make a joke that i've already made i don't think you stole it but i need you to know i came first bitch and i get that i get that i get that courtney yes and you want acknowledgement for like, I did it first. But really, I steal all my jokes from Carrie, Stephen King's Carrie. But here's the thing. Do you do it first or do you just do it? I get what you're saying.

No, I just want to say. If I was aware of it. I don't ever think you're aware of it. No, no. No, I know. I know. I know. I know.

I just want to be like, listen, I had this thought too. To have the prom queen with the crying makeup, I've thought of it before. Sure. And here's my stamp to show that I did. it that's no no i know i know i know i know i just want to be like listen i had this thought too to have the prom queen with the crying makeup i've thought of it before and here's my stamp to show that the other thing it's parallel thought you thought of it on your own but i did it too but we were talking about this the other day that the rodrigo covering uh or copying paramore wait let me so there's a tiktok of them doing it side by side i can do it can i do it side by side really quick yeah because people were doing it on youtube and going and just like playing them each but i never saw someone layer it and i don't want to hear the one that already did it because i want to do it okay here we go

so this is paramore misery business is the name of the song okay here we go okay ready say good for, you look happy and healthy Not me, if you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doing great out there without me Baby, God, I wish that I could do that I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Crying on the floor of my bathroom You're so unaffected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you Right? The same. I mean... affected i really don't get it but i guess good for you right the same i mean i mean it's way too high for me so don't judge my voice no but it is the same it's the same i don't i don't mind i don't care i like it you know what it makes me like the song right away because i've already heard it before in a different way i'll take it i'll take it too it goes back i think she should give writing credit to paramore i think she she should give writing credit to Paramore. I think she should give a writing credit to Paramore just like Taylor Swift did to George Michael prematurely before anyone could accuse her of I'm too sexy for me. When she goes, the song that she did was, look what you made me do.

Look what you made me do. Look what. So everyone would have gone she stole that but she just put it in anyway so you get ahead of it you get ahead of it but here's the thing this one is too egregious not to get ahead of you literally showed me and we can you we should post it on the thing nikki showed me this thing about country songs there's so good eight eight different country songs exactly the same beat exactly the same guitar and they're layered over each other so it's like what are we doing here rap songs literally take dude there's rap songs

where new rappers will take lines and verses from straight from biggie smalls like whole verses and then they'll take you know whatever sampling so it's like why do we pick and choose who's copying and who's not someone recently uh sent me a uh a tweet of like can you believe your friend copied this tweet and i'm like i don't need the fuck i don't give a fuck like stop it's flattery but you know what you do want to kind of know like i got there first let me just no no no didn't copy my tweet copied like another whatever anyhow but like i just want to show you something i discovered literally every song has been done before taylor swift i've learned 20 different songs on the guitar five of them follow the same chord progression you can sit sorry i burped you can sing in in and out of

them but this olivia rodrigo song i learned the same chord progression uh So it's like So it literally Hold on I'm just gonna put this Sorry Noah This is so annoying But this is Something I discovered That I'm really proud of

So it's like Good for you You look happy And healthy Not me If you ever cared To ask Good for you

You're doing great Out there without me Baby God I wish that I could do that Right And then it goes You You You're doing great out there without me, baby God, I wish that I could do that, right? And then it goes, you, you, you Do you know what song that is?

It literally is. So I'm working on a medley that goes, so it's like, I've spent my, oh wait. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom. You're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you. You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But we are never, ever, ever getting back together.

And you can combine the two. Noah, you're a guitar player. Do you find often that you can combine two songs? Yes. Why doesn't everyone do it all the time? You know what it is? You know what it is? It's so fun.

You know what it is about the Paramore thing I just realized? Wait, let Noah finish. Oh, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off, Noah. I know. Even though I'm the one that does that most of the I just realized though? Wait, let Noah finish. Oh, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off, Noah. I know. Even though I'm the one that does that most of the time. Let me do that. Let me finish.

Let Nikki finish. Noah, why don't musicians always do that? Well, in certain styles of music, you have these common chord progressions, right? And then that's what happens in pop music a lot. I think in country music and all of that you can find you know just like the basic chord how you can write a song like i could just take that thing that i learned so to play we are never getting back together which i learned first it's c g hold on d for two beats then quickly to e minor then back to d that's like a weird kind of progression i mean i don't know

anything about music but i've never learned that one before and then i'm playing olivia roger goes i go it's the same exact one so what you can really do to write a song is just learn a song take that chord progression and then put different stuff on top of it yes and it's a new song the only time it doesn't work and i guess this is a a nod to paramore it's also a nod to david bowie when vanilla ice copied them if it's so original and it's an ear like it's so different you can't copy it because it's it's almost singular and so people will go well that's the only i mean look if you took that paramore song i'm sure you can find a song that they somehow copied off of it might be harder to find but i'm just saying like everything's derivative remember and then vanilla ice was mine was i mean that was insane those songs are you cannot tell

them apart when they start i go what are we gonna get here yeah are we getting um the the david bowie one or the the i never heard the bowie one growing up and then i heard i was like oh my god this that was the first one i ever heard oh really yeah um let I'm the brush shot. Yeah. Let's get to Why Do We Care. Push it down on me. Why do I care? Oh, man. She sounds thrilled. What a great week.

Okay. Ed Sheeran divulges that he and Taylor Swift have already re-recorded their hit, Everything Has Changed. Oh, I know. And it's ready for Swift's re-recording of Red. He was asked when he was going to re-record it and he's like i already have i love a guy who can't lie yes uh the edge this is an interesting thing because i didn't know this until i listened to all the podcasts about taylor swiss albums the

uh every taylor album it's on the ringer podcast on spotify but um i didn't the girl that on the podcast she's a huge taylor swiss fan she was like i don't like that On the podcast She's a huge Taylor Swift fan She was like I don't like that Every time Taylor Has a male Person on Her records

She gives them The first lyric And I don't think She gave him The first one On that one But before that

All the men Got the first Which When you're having Something on your album Don't give them The We want to hear you

And so But Ed Sheeran I actually saw ed sheeran open for taylor swift on the red tour that was the first time i'd ever seen him i think i had heard like the a team before or first verse like literally your first word verse it's just weird because rap you give the weaker or the less known person the first and then you you go last oh i would always want to be first when you want to go last save the best for last because it's on the radio people are gonna hear you first and if they don't like the song if your

buddy who's weak on the track like they'll turn it off before they get to yours maybe true um true but i'm very excited about this red re-release as you guys know there's going to be 10 new songs um including a 10 minute version of all too well which one of our besties wrote to me and said, you should make t-shirts Taylor for Taylor Swift fans and besties all the swells. And so yesterday I started writing a song that was, I started a podcast. It was March. I called up my roommate, Andrew Colin. I don a podcast. It was March. I called up my roommate, Andrew Collin. I don't know.

I was just working on it. I was like, all too sweat. Wait. All too sweat. Wait. Fuck. All too sweat. Wait.

All too sweat. Yeah. Yeah, but I want to know if besties would like me to do a complete 10-minute version of all the swells that is talking about inside jokes on our show. Which, can we just go through the inside jokes? Because sometimes I feel like we make them and then we don't follow up. And I want to keep them in, you know, perpetuity. Yeah. Okay, so let's start off. We have kuh.

Everyone knows kuh. We're gonna keep I think we should end the podcast with saying don't be kuh. So that we give it a little context you know. So don't be kuh

all the swells. All the swells of course is just a way of saying like we love you and we want you to be happy. We have poppy which means stupid. It's based on my niece poppy

who is not stupid but she's a baby and babies are stupid so therefore pop which means stupid. It's based on my niece Poppy, who is not stupid, but she's a baby, and babies are stupid. So, therefore, Poppy equals stupid. And, again, let me say that my niece Poppy is the least Poppy baby I've ever met. Going on record, in case Poppy hears this. We also have the Schlappies, which is the feeling. You know how you get the heebie-jeebies when you're scared? If you get anxiety and you're getting those little nerves, you get the Schlabie-jeebies when you're scared if you get anxiety and you're

getting those little nerves you get the schloppies that's what we called it it was based on Marnie schloppy which is the name of a realtor that I my family rented a house from in Vail in like 1994 and we thought that name was hilarious and Marnie was the one I think that sent in that question about naming anxiety so schloppies is what we call it. We also have fashion eggs, which is something based on Taylor Swift's Easter eggs, which are little hints that she gives. Easter eggs is not coined by Taylor Swift, but when there are Easter eggs and things,

they're little hints that give you maybe, if you put them all together, you get a broader sense of things. The other day on, we call them fashion eggs though, because Andrew once said the wrong thing and called them a fashion egg. You know how guys just like sometimes just, like my grandma used to call Blockbuster gangbusters. My mom once called a gang rape a rape-a-thon.

You were going to say she called a gang rape Blockrape or Blockrape. My mom literally said, and you do hear about that awful rape-a-thon. And I was like, it's So funny to me so Did they win a car yeah they were Raising money it was During a toyota-thon So There was a big red bow on the girl

Sorry sorry to anyone So fashion Eggs by the way someone on our My subreddit Nikki Glaserzer on reddit i do read that and a lot of times it's very insulting and a lot of times it's very sweet but someone listening to the podcast goes i'm looking at does anyone getting anything from these fashion eggs and let me tell you i've got no plan for them i'll just say that we say fashion egg when we're we're talking about something that we can't talk about openly yet and that later when i get i usually

tell you guys everything eventually about my personal life but sometimes it's happening in the moment and i don't want to reveal anything so when i say fashion egg that's just something to be revealed or maybe it's something that you could figure out but i have no plan and i'm sorry if they're very confusing and it could just be an egg in a dress it could could be a very haute couture egg. And of course, egg meaning one that hasn't been pried from an animal that has been suffering. We also have balcony. Balcony is a term that was coined.

You can say, I'm going to go balcony. I got a balcony. That is when I had a one-bedroom apartment. Andrew would come over, and if I had to take a shit, I would say balcony because he would go out to the balcony so he couldn't hear and or smell. And so now we say balcony when we have to shit. There's also shittens, which is something that we'll tell later on, but that'll be something if you if you can think of any other words that we've coined that we maybe missed, please

remind us because we want to create a glossary and we want to keep people up to date. I know we have some new listeners today. Shout out to Melanie and Brittany from the World Ch world chess hall of fame who i met this morning when i was taking a picture of luigi the woman um melanie was setting up the chess board the life size chess board that you can play right by our apartment in the central west end giant chess piece the world chess hall of fame is legit have you been in there before no dude best bathrooms in st louis i'm not joking you i even told her i go i went in the gift shop to buy arlo a bribe World Chess Hall of Fame is legit. Have you been in there before? No. Dude, best bathrooms in St. Louis. I'm not joking you.

I even told her, I go, I went in the gift shop to buy Arlo a bribe the other day. And it was all chess stuff, but I found something. And I really had to go balcony. And so, oh my God, look, it's already paying off. And I was like, I don't want to go stink up there like one bathroom, but it was like an urgent period balcony situation. Girls, you know what I'm talking about,

where it just like strikes and you're like, I don't know if I'm going to shit a tampon or what so i went in there and i go i guess i'm just gonna fuck this up and i'll be very quick and clean about it but um i went in the bathroom and it was there were so many different stalls like a vanity great lighting and so this morning when i ran into this girl i go she's setting up the chessboard and i go i gotta tell you your bathrooms are just amazing and she was like oh my god we have the best bathrooms in st louis we were like rated i was like that's so again ironic that i said that um i bet these girls i legit became best friends with them i pulled out my dating apps because i was

talking about being in st louis and i needing friends and dating apps they helped me match with a person on raya who i already started talking to this morning because i was just trying to impress them like clicking through guys i got a connection a connection. I was like, thanks to the guy, you just impressed me in front of Brittany and Melanie. They're our two best friends. I already invited them over sometime. I told them that they love you. They both recognized me before I said who I was,

but they were nervous to say anything. Again, anyone in St. Louis, if you recognize me, especially if you're a fan, please say, hey, I want to be friends with you. And to anyone who came to my dad's show on Thursday night, thank you so much for going.

There was a guy, there was a couple fans that said hi. There was one guy with Lincoln, I think was your name. You were so sweet. Please follow up with me in my DMs. I would love to hang out with you, especially the guy that gave me the guitar pick. I just need Swifties. I would love to hang out with you, especially the guy that gave me the guitar pick. I just need Swifties. I need people to

sync up with. Maybe we'll hang out, maybe we won't, but I do need friends, and Besties are a great place to start. Thank you, thank you, thank you for going to my dad's show. Also, thank you to Andrew for going to my dad's show. That was a great night. Yeah, it was really, really fun. I've played, performed twice now on guitar, solo, and

it's my new passion, and thank you for putting up with me and doing that everyone who came to that show and my dad was fucking great he's so talented dude it was awesome that whole i mean if you've never been to joe's cafe and you live in st louis you can't even go it's like private oh yeah oh i didn't know that well look into joe's cafe if you because i mean or try to see a show there because of the experience. We might do a Bestie meetup there, to be honest with you. We should do a stand-up. We got to get to top one, bottom one, though.

This is our segment every Monday. Top one, bottom one. Our favorite thing and least favorite thing of a certain category. Today, Noah, what is our category? Our category is things in fashion. Things in fashion. Okay, so, oh, speaking of fashion egg this is just like i i came up with this one this morning fashion trends let's say your favorite fashion trend your least

favorite fashion trend now this can be a trend from a bygone era or a new trend but let's go through and it doesn't have to be you know i thought it had to be new it doesn't have to be new but if you picked new okay a lot of times these are vague, but let's just go through. Noah, do you have a bottom fashion trend that you hate the most? Oh, yeah, I do. I knew you would. I was like dying to hear yours. I have a couple, but I think the one I'll definitely go with are harem pants.

Harem pants. Those are the pants that have the very baggy um front section it makes you look like you took a balcony in your pants yes it leaves you a lot of room for balcony and it um yes you know what annoys me about those pants is like they're mc hammer pants right like these models they're so gorgeous they could literally put on dog shit all over their bodies and everyone's like it'll look great on them but you can't put shit pants on an average looking person yeah yeah yeah it'll just be yeah they are so comfortable though and yes sometimes there's these you know justin bieber wears those sometimes where there's this baggy crotch in the middle that is just inexplicable and

no i gotta say i mean i that's probably mine too but i'm gonna come up with a different one but harem pants are terrible um and they never look good even on gg hadid even on gg no no gg gg no look good so what's the gg gg gg gg gg what's your least favorite fashion trend andrew and this can be on a guy or a girl. Well, I guess it's a fashion trend. And a lot of it is just personal for me. There's a big trend right now. Male people painting their nails. Men painting their nails.

I have no problem. Paint your nails all you want. For me, as a nail biter and little stubby hands. So this is one you cannot pull off. I could never pull. If I painted my nails. I would love to paint your nails we will for when i mean i'll do it today okay how about this the first live youtube show from our new

podcast studio i'll have my nails painted okay that's like that's a deal that's that's set in stone but yeah a lot of these a lot of the fashion trends i don't like is because personally they just would not i could never pull them off and i would never have the balls to pull them off. So I get angry and I deflect and project or whatever. Any Jack, what about you? I didn't really give a lot of thought to this before I started the podcast. So I'm coming up with one on the fly, but I feel really good about it. And guess what? Everything you come up with it is on the fly.

People always go, no, I need to prepare for this thing. And I go, but when you think of it, it When you're preparing It still comes out of nowhere And it's still on the fly You know what I mean Yes I could have come up With more And then picked the best one But to me

The worst fashion thing And this one's wild Because I never thought I would feel this way But this is how much Fashion can change I just got rid of All of my skinny jeans

And that means Cigarette pants All the way to the ankle I am disgusted by them now And I don't They went from being rid of all of my skinny jeans and that means cigarette pants all the way to the ankle i am disgusted by them now and i don't they they went from being my favorite kinds of pants to wear to now my least favorite and it's all because fashion has changed and i am a slave to the trends and i pay attention what is skinny do like what's the wrong with skinny jeans because for a while i was confused even the high-waisted ones? No, I love high-waisted everything.

But if it's a cigarette pant with the ankle being tight at the bottom, right? Tapered, yeah. Tapered, not good. I like a boot cut. I like a straight leg. Anything. But I never, ever take away my mom jeans and my high-waisted. High-waisted, forever.

Low-waisted, I'll go back to it. I've got a pretty flat stomach. I'm someone who looks good with a low waisted. I don't have a lot of muffin top that's not where my body stores fat. So I'm lucky in that way. But it is not a good look for 99% of the population. And guess what? I'm aging.

It's about to not be. I don't want low waist to come back. It's not good. But I love a high waisted. I will never stop a high waistedisted it will never go out of style for me but I was completely shocked that as soon as I was because for a while Noah I was very confused Gen Z came out with a thing where they admonished us for the the side part and the skinny jeans I thought skinny jeans meant just like ones that weren't like bell bottoms like I was thinking

like any and I was confused as like try to get rid of all my jeans no it's just the ones that weren't like bell bottoms like i was thinking like any and i was confused as like try to get rid of all my jeans no it's just the ones that like like hold your ankles interesting they don't make you look skinny they actually i have skinny legs and they always make my legs look bigger because i got some big ass uh chunky uh calves my calves are chunkier than andrews it's weird and i've always had boy calves um and i'm so glad to say goodbye to them and i loaded them all in a suitcase i'm getting rid of a ton of clothes i cleaned out my closets and i'm so glad to actually reach a level where i'm getting rid of something not because gen z told me it wasn't cool but because i actually don't like it so now gen z has permeated my own thinking oh i mean put skinny in front of anything though An old cell I feel like Skinny margarita

I mean that's why you got Celsius Skinny drink These jeans burn body fat I literally am only trying to make Kirsten laugh right now I know Kirsten laughs anytime I go It burns all your body fat Kirsten and I used to make fun of those Neutrogena commercials Where there's two girls that are friends

That are like You gotta be a 90s kid to remember this. But they'd be like, we got this new Neutrogena. They go like, it has these little beads in it, like little micro scrubbers. And the girls would always joke like, they're little micro scrubbers. And we used to make fun of any kind of marketing lingo. So that one was for Kirsten and for anyone else who enjoyed it. I'm just envisioning a girl splashing her face in those commercials.

They always are splashing. Jennifer Garner. It's all I use. And with your Capital One credit card. Isn't there skinny margarita too? That's another thing. Yeah. But like adding skinny.

Skinny latte. It just makes skinny pop. That popcorn is bought more than any other popcorn because it has the word skinny in it why are we not doing this with a pro we're gonna start selling something well this is the skinny nikki glazer podcast of course you know that right i can't wait for this you get skinnier actually you probably will get skinnier if you listen to this because i'll teach you that getting skinny is not about exercising and uh eating less um noah what is your number one fashion trend that you do love and you hope never leaves us is it fat ass shorts oh you're actually close uh it's in style now biker shorts oh i love

i love that they're in style because one uh they're really comfortable they're high-waisted and they keep my thighs from like thrusting into each other dude and irritating them i love them i love them too girls and leggings too leggings are fine even though they resemble a skinny jean um love this one can i say though i got some lululemon sent to me from a very generous fan sent me a ton of lululemon um i can't even i like oh i i have to go down on her at some point i think because it was just so nice i got so much and i don't deserve it this is it's absurd when you're a celebrity because you get things when you can afford to buy things for the first time in your life people give you stuff for free it really doesn't make sense but i'm

really really grateful i got i said i was a size four at Lululemon. Bitch, please. I am not. I am definitely a six, which is still very tiny. This shit is tiny. The size four bicycle short, which is so cute,

and I got a matching bra. I mean, I was a matching bitch this weekend. You could bring it in, too. What? You could trade it in. I know I could trade it in, but I just wanted to wear this. Literally, we live next door to Lululemon,

and I'm too lazy. I was like, I'm just gonna wear something that's too small. You know what? in. I know I could trade it in, but I just wanted to wear this. Literally, we live next door to Lululemon, and I'm too lazy. I was like, I'm just going to wear something that's too small. You know what? Yesterday, I went to Target, and I am looking in the mirror at some shoes that I put on, and I see from behind what these bike shorts are doing to my leg. It's like the Pillsbury. The Pillsbury. There is an indent where they're hugging my thigh.

My thighs are pretty lean. I don't have really fat thighs. And I don't really have that much. I'm just, it sounds like I'm doing a brag fest, but I'm just, I'm not trying to. I don't tend to have a lot of cellulite. I don't know why. But yesterday, holy, I caught a glimpse.

And I just want to tell the listener right now. I, usually if I saw that that what i saw on my thigh yesterday which was like you see that from the behind and you've never seen it and my legs were pale um not spray tanned they were being pulled in a way by these tights that are too tight that it was cutting off the circulation like a rub and then it was like pillsbury dough boying my mid-thigh there was a lot of cellulite varicose veins every like a leg of i go that's a mom's leg like that's i remember my mom's like and i didn't judge my mom for having that leg but that was my mom's fucking leg right i was in a bad mood for two aisles and i couldn't really put my finger on it because i'm

so not in tune with that stuff anymore like my body and my looks do not get me down anymore and they used to only get me down anymore. And they used to only get me down. Like if I was in a bad mood, it's because I felt ugly that day, right? And now when I feel ugly, I just go, well, you ate a lot of salt yesterday and you didn't sleep well. Of course you're going to look haggard.

It's fine. Like I laugh about it now, but this, I didn't have that moment in the mirror. I just went, ugh. And I didn't take the time to go, Nikki, this is funny. Look at yourself. It's funny that you thought these shorts fit.

You're walking around. This is hilarious. You're still a good person. Your leg looks a little fat. You don't need to go punish yourself by starving. You don't need to go get a spray tan. You're just a woman with some tight bicycle shorts on at Target. And it was two, there were two aisles.

And I was literally in the fucking worst mood. And I didn't even know it was that because it was so detached and then i remembered what i go why did i all of a sudden go from being in the best mood to the worst mood and i realized oh my god it is because i saw my leg and i and i it made me sad and i in that moment go i said the same thought i just go nikki you are 37 if your leg didn't look like a mom's leg something's up you need to have cellulite on your leg i'm so glad you do have it um and your leg is pale because you didn't get a spree tan any guy who will anyone who loves you in your life would never love you less because your leg looked like that let it go and then i fucking bought a million

things to deal with my anxiety no i like no i literally bought a lava lamp which looked like that let it go and then i fucking bought a million things to deal with my anxiety no i like no i literally bought a lava lamp which looked like your leg i got i didn't get a lava lamp i got a lava lamp that didn't work i have to return it what i know it sucks it didn't lava um but uh i just want to say that like i really feel like i have figured out something that most women and men could really benefit from if you can somehow get there to laugh to like just laugh and be like look at you you look like shit today it's so funny yeah if you not be mad at yourself about it but just laugh because laughing is even like kind of being mad at yourself it's just a gentler way and i swear swear it works.

And I never would have believed it before when people used to be like, love your body. I'm like, yeah, right. I'm disgusting. And I'm there and it's freedom. And you can, by aisle 12, you can feel good. If you're doing lunges. What's the best fashion accessory

or a trend for you, number one? Well, it's funny that you went off on like tapered stuff but i love a man's uh the abc jogger from lulu lemon yeah it's a good pant it's just like i don't know what it makes me feel sporty it could go with anything uh back in the day like the idea of a guy having like a tapered like um like uh on the bottom of his leg it would be too girly but it's just like in the in between where i feel very comfortable while i think i look athletic still even my 41 year old body like i don't know it makes me feel confident and it's just so fucking comfortable and i'm glad that it's in style and i don't know it's great can I say that nail polish is maybe my favorite male trend, if you want it?

Because I'm not going to give it my top one, but those Lulu pants, by the way, are 100%. I got them from my dad. Every guy looks good in them, and they're super versatile, and they're a great gift for a man in your life. At Lululemon, we're not promoting them in any way. But keep giving us free clothes um i will say that nail polish on a man is to me means he's possibly bisexual to me which is fine but let me just say like i assume a lot about your boy mgk rocks now machine gun kelly i could see machine gun kelly being open to making out with

a dude like and like that being hot to me not saying that it's a bi thing but a man with nails it's such a great way to express yourself. And I am just now on board with doing really like interesting nails and getting into nail art because I always looked at nails as like, oh God, now it's just like a new form of expression. And I love nails on men.

And I also, for my one, I'm going to go with sunglasses. Sunglasses of any kind. And there's some really cheap ones at ASOS that I got from my stylist that I lost last week, but I have never gotten so many compliments in my life. They instantly made me feel fashion forward. I'm going to try to find them today and I'll post them on our story if you guys want to get them too.

Because everyone was like, those are designer frames. I'm like, they're ASOS. So they might be, I don't know how much ASOS is, but I tend to think of it as cheap. too um because everyone was like those are designer frames i'm like they're asos um so they might be i don't know how much asos is but i tend to think of it as cheap uh those glasses when i put on sunglasses i feel safe i feel like i'm in my own little it's almost like when i have my airpods in like i feel protected from the outside world not in like a famous way but you also look cooler um and i just think sunglasses, the, the coolest accessory and that's kind of a lame fashion trend.

It's not, but like having your sunglasses make a statement. It is funny though. Like our fashion trends, like there's like probably people that are actually really into fashion and there's probably like, there's a lot of language probably out there and like different kinds of fashion that's out right now. Can I do one? You know what I mean though? That like, Oh yeah.

Like we don't know fashion, like pleats and different kinds of like styles of things let me just say another fashion i love is bigger girls every every size girl with a midriff with a crop top and like you know what i love is women wearing outfits that are usually reserved for skinny girls and like bigger girls fucking wearing them and the whole idea that you know big girls can have cute clothes too is so tired because of course they can and there's so many let me just say unique vintage one of our sponsors has so many cute plus size outfits where and i love that they have plus size models too because there's sometimes i i i want something and it's like a girl that's much bigger than me and i go god it looks so fucking it's so nice to

be inspired by a bigger model to be like i want to look like that and and i and truly believe it and i just i love when i see a girl who is not scared to show her body i love uh i love a fat girl in swimsuit let me just say that i love a fat girl in a swimsuit i don't want women to miss out on enjoying the pool or enjoying water anymore because they have to get in a swimsuit women miss out and so do men right with t-shirts well there's those shorts called chubbies or whatever that make me feel comfortable. Because it's like a bunch of like thick men wearing short, colorful shorts and just rocking their thick little bodies.

What is this? Chubbies, I think it's called. Final thought. I hope that this summer, if you're a girl or a guy out there, and it's easy for me to say because I'm a fucking skinny bitch or whatever if you are ashamed of your body in any way this summer and you're gonna miss out on something fun maybe you don't want to wear a tank top because your arm skin is sagging which is going to happen to all of us right ladies or you don't want to go on a fun um vacation because

your friend is skinny and she's going to wear a swimsuit and look so great in front of you. And your husband is going to see her and he's going to think you're fat. It's not, you know, it's not about that, right? There are so many swimsuits that fit everybody. And if you can't, it's easier said than done. And I hate to like, I just want us all i hate seeing women it's mostly women miss out on fun because they're scared of what their body will look like in front of other people and if you're someone who's another person who is ever commenting on someone

else's body or whispering or making someone feel different because they're wearing something maybe you think they shouldn't can i just tell you you're so obvious literally everyone always as someone who was anorexic and walked around like a skeleton and had people talk about me behind my back constantly um and as someone who has also been friends with famous people who see people talking about them around me you're not fooling anyone you are so obvious that you're talking about someone and you're looking. I am so good. I used to do this thing.

I did it two years ago. Because when I was still struggling with my eating disorder two years ago, I would wait till night to eat. And I would go meet with my friends who all knew I had a fucking eating disorder, so they didn't care. But I would just get the salad bar at this place

and I would get a gigantic massive salad I just loved it so much I'd pile it it looked like you know Kilimanjaro on this fucking plate and anytime I would walk to my pose or climbed up a bit by a rattlesnake on on my salad uh I would get back to my table and this I went through this so many times on my uh campus at the dorms when I would eat and I was a skeleton at the time and I would have people whisper at me and tables look over and talk about how much like vegetables I was eating oh that's the anorexic girl she'd look at her plate of vegetables with no dressing and like judge my food and hate me for it because I'm doing this to myself clearly or

you know let me just say you're so fucking obvious when you're talking about other people when you whisper and then they both turn around it's so obvious so this is what i would do no i had a pile of like salad on my plate and i knew these bitches at the next table were looking at me i had no question it was like girls and guys like all on this like birthday party dinner i knew they were like i saw one of them look at me and then i saw her kind of at a periphery this is me walking back to my table from the software I saw the girl see me as all proof I didn't even watch them then I see the girl tilt to her side to tell a friend then I see that friend look my way and then I see that front

and then by the time I get over to my table I know that the entire table is going to be looking at me because I'm not even facing them anymore so they feel safe to all look at me and then what did I do I literally in a moment a second I just whipped around and looked at them and they all freaked out so much because I knew they were gonna be staring at me they had no idea so I turn around in my chair do a fucking you know uh exorcist 180 with my head spin and I go what and I just looked at him I go what and they just they they can't handle it because they got busted i go i really i'm i love salad is that what do we just want to openly mock me like and i've said this before on the show i've looked in i know a lot of people who are fat and i've heard their stories and i've read lindy west's book it's called oh what is her book called

noah look it up because it's so good and it gives you such a great detailed experience of the of the fat experience also hunger by um roxanne gay it's amazing but it just lets you know how much fat people and people who look different get made fun of and get get all the time and by people who are good people who are just trying to share uh you know when you're awkward with someone it's it's easier to make fun of someone and oh now we have a commonality we can both make fun of that weird homeless man walking by i literally you can be like the most crazy looking like you know walking in a weird way with balloons attached to your wheelchair and all these things i will never look at you walking in a weird way with balloons attached to your wheelchair and all these things. I will never look at you.

Walking in a weird way with balloons attached to your wheelchair. You know when there's someone really egregiously walking on the sidewalk and you're maybe eating lunch and you just kind of see it and you know, or maybe a little person. A little people constantly have people whispering about them constantly. All I'm saying is that you're not, be different. Be the person at the table who literally does not say anything about that person that everyone is going to talk about i have to go but a final thing that i want to say is that uh lindy's book is called shrill by the way right

shrill yes it's so good ad bryant was in the the tv show about it lastly i just want to say don't do the obvious thing don't be be your second grade fifth grade person who is going to snicker about someone else because even though you think you're not getting caught they feel it people feel it when they are getting made fun of constantly okay i have been there before and i'm not even haven't been in the worst part of it here's another thing i learned is that sometimes when you see an obese person that's like you know limping down the sidewalk or a disabled person or a little person or someone that looks like you know has a facial disfigurement or something that's like stands out you tend to

want to not look at them right like i just said ignore them that's not good either because sometimes they feel completely ignored because people don't want to look at them because oh if i look at them they'll think i'm making fun of them just say hi just literally when you're walking by someone that maybe has an acid attack on their face or has a crazy birthmark that looks weird or is now bino or you know something that you go oh my god that's different just smile and just go hey that's all you have to do it's not making fun of them it's acknowledging they exist which is is what they want. But just be, if you can go out there this week and when someone is at your table or your friends want to make fun of someone,

you don't have to admonish them. Just drop it. And then change the subject. Treat them like Olivia Rodrigo treated Courtney Love. With just acknowledging it? Acknowledging it and saying, thank you.

And if you're a fat person or someone with a disfigurement or disabled and maybe have anything to say to this to add to it, or maybe I'm totally misrepresenting you. But as someone who looked repulsive to the human eye for many years of my life and made everyone talk about me, I get a sense of what it's like. And I would love to hear your experience to share more on it. We got to go. Thank you so much for listening today. Don't be care. Get all the balconies, all the swells. Don't be care out there.

And all the swells. And hey, if you ain't fashion egg and what are you doing out there? Is that a fashion egg? Could be. We don't know. We'll find out tomorrow. All right. See you tomorrow, guys.

This is going to be a good week. We love you best. See you soon catch john stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.