The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #6 Lost In A Binge

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Nikki talks truth about fillers, wonders about Andrew's odd behavior around a pizza last night, they cover some sex stories in the news, "Finish Each Other's Sentences" and don't get into a fight in the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Here's Nikki. Yeah. Thank you, Noah. Hi, guys. It's Nikki Glaser. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ah, I hope you're doing well out there. And I mean that sincerely, not like Andrew before he gets to the news.

Noah, how are you today? I'm doing good um I don't like the angle that my laptop computer is facing because it accentuates my Adam's apple you don't have an Adam's apple yes I do women don't have an Adam's apple babe I I have one Adam's apple bottom jeans boots with the fur oh wait, no you don't. Look at it. It's like a little bump. Wait, dude, Google this. Women do not have Adam's apples or do we just have less accentuated ones? I don't know the difference. I know that Caitlyn Jenner had hers shaved down and that was the first sign that she was possibly transitioning. I remember that whisper and I couldn't think of anything more disturbing like viscerally than having your Adam's apple, like bone shaving, like keep me

out of that. I don't want to hear about shaved bones. I, uh, my makeup artist who, uh, Robin, who made fun of me for having a zit next to my lip that she announced was herpes for humor even though everyone doesn't know that she's someone who does that so everyone on set probably thinks i have herpes now not that there's anything wrong with that plan on getting it can't wait she also said one time that like my adam's apple was sticking out as like a joke. And by the way, I'm on the show with like, uh, surrounded by, um, men who I'm like, you know, are attractive men. And I'm just like, how about we not say that? And then I was like, cause my neck is very long and has lots of like, you can see almost like my vocal cords, which are now probably inflamed. Cause my neck is very long and has lots of like, you can see almost like my vocal cords,

which are now probably inflamed. Cause my voice is disgusting right now. And I apologize for it. If it's hard to listen to, because I did an Instagram story last night and I was like, yikes, I should stop talking, but I can't cause it's my job. Um, but she made an Adam's apple joke. Now it's like a running joke and I don't care for it. Well, on roast, people have compared me to men or looking like, uh, a, um, a transitioning man, you know, like, and I've made jokes that without makeup, I look like a yoga instructor named Jesper. It's like that has long hair, um, which is is not a bad like a lot of women have masculine

features and a lot of hot got a lot of hot women have masculine features and a lot of hot guys look very feminine and you're attracted to them because you're probably gay ladies um no but my point is i don't have an adam's apple i don't think women can get them did you google it do we have adam's apples i didn't google it i just don't want to know the answer to it but you don't have an Adam's apple. I don't think women can get them. Did you Google it? Do we have Adam's apples? I didn't Google it. I just don't want to know the answer to it. But you don't have one. I don't know what you're talking about. It's moving. It's just, oh wait. Okay. I do see a bump, but like, what's wrong with that? It's just like, wait, you do have one. What the fuck? Noah. Maybe it's cancer. Maybe I have a tumor in there. I mean, whatever it is, it's like, who cares? It's a bump in your neck. When I was just tumor in there. I mean, whatever it is, it's like, who cares?

It's a bump in your neck. When I was just with a bunch of ladies last night and we were all talking about the work we wanted to have done. And my one friend is like, oh, I'm getting a chin implant as soon as I get home. And I feel bad because I was like, yeah, you should. I have a friend who got one and she looks way hotter because of it and not that being I go you should get it if it's something that's bothered you your whole life and and you want to I mean like why is not getting a chin implant or facial uh you know, plastic surgeries frowned upon, but fake eyelashes and pounds of makeup and fake

hair dye and jewel piercings and just any other thing that you add to your hair extensions. Why are the, what's the difference between a bunch of fake fucking hair that by the way, I've been offered on my show a lot and I used to wear it in my show Nikki and Sarah live and once you get hair extensions you first of all I don't like to wear it on TV because I think when I'm on TV women can look at me and know oh she's wearing makeup that's why she looks good that's like that's probably a fake tan that's not a real color color of her skin because i put it out there that my skin is not like that but hair extensions i think are so convincing that many women look at women on tv and compare their own hair like me this is me talking and go why don't i why isn't my hair that thick there's something wrong with me and um so although the other girls

on the show this season of the show are wearing lots and lots of fake hair uh which there's nothing wrong with that literally i want to just tell every woman that's listening every woman is wearing hair extensions even women not on tv, including Miss Adam's apple producer, Noah. I mean, you have them too, but and there's nothing wrong with it. I just opted out because I'm so insecure about my hair being thin that I did not. And it's based on the fact that women are wearing hair extensions and I compare myself that I know now my hair is not thin. It was just, my perception is off because of my surroundings. And I don't want because of my surroundings and I don't want to promote that anymore I don't want to put that out there and I don't want it for myself because

once I have thought lots of hair on tv I'm never gonna not want it and I literally looked like a show pony when she put in a fake ponytail I was like this it's like Ariana Grande gigantic ponytail and I felt like a a beautiful horse that um I just felt like a rich person's horse with that thing in my hair and I was like get it out now and it's not like I'm being noble I don't want to be like oh I'm making the sacrifice to women see it's really for myself at the end of the day, which everything is. So last night I've told this girl, I'm like, yeah, you should get the chin thing. If you want to get it. And she, and she didn't take it. And I go, you don't need it. I assure you, you have a good chin, but if that it would look bad, I mean, it's not going to not look better, but I told all the girls, I go, please do not do filler. please please if you're listening at home please don't

do filler if you're under the age of 36 and I even and I'm about to be 37 and I don't think I'd get it again until it was like really necessary I did a lot of filler in 2018 after Dancing with the Stars and after I got called, um, what did they call me? Uh, they said I looked like Owen Wilson at that roast and I have just, my self esteem was in the gutter. And so, and I had a lot of money,

uh, from dancing with the stars and I hadn't spent a lot of money cause I was on dancing with the stars in a fucking dance bubble. So I was like, Oh, I'll get out of here and spend $30,000 I think at the fucking most overpriced place because Carl Al Forrester convinced me that I should go to the best of the best, which is the Kardashians doctor, which by the way is not their doctor. It's just the one that he pays to use their faces

as promo for his place. Not even gonna say who it is. So angry about it because I later went to another injection guy and he was like, you paid what? He was like, they literally overcharged you by 500%. And I was like, I, I had a feeling. Um, but I did get laughing gas for the laser that they gave me. And it was the first time I felt drunk in, you know, nine years. And it was a blast. God, I have so much more to say. All I want to say is don't get filler. I really regret it. I'm so glad it's out of my face right now. I would get it to get in my lips by the way. I really would. So I take it back. I would get filler in my lips again. Very subtle though. Although I haven't and I could, and I haven't again, so maybe I wouldn't. I like my thin lips.

And then also, I, oh, and I was thinking, and I've always said this about a nose job. Ladies, if you take down your nose, if you have a big nose, pointy nose, like I have a pretty prominent nose. If you take it down, the tent pole is, your face skin is a tent and you will flatten. It will lose some of its tent. Like the, the tent pole will fall. And so the skin will all fall. So think of your nose as a tent pole for your face and consider that before I want to build up to pull the tent totter.

Has anyone ever thought of that for uh lifting your skin build a bigger nose noah i i this is controversial nikki this is this has never been said before to hear women write into the show about their um feelings or men too please about plastic surgery and what you've had done, what you would recommend if you talk about it, if you're open about it. Cause I just went around Robin, we had a little party for my friend, Robin, a birthday party, birthday hang at my apartment or apartment, you know, hotel room last night. And I just went around Robin was like, you know, I went around Robin's body and I said, this is what you should have done. This is what you should have done. No, I, uh, I went around Robin with the

girls and I go, have you had work done? Have you like, I just flat out asked him, they can lie to me, but I think we should be open about these things. And, uh, for the first time I wanted to be open about, I mean, I think I've talked about this stuff all before, but I'm trying to think of anything else I've had done that I want to disclose. I'm trying to think of anything I want to get done. At this point, I feel like I have too much of a presence that if I did something, it would be very obvious. But at the same time, I would talk about it then. So who cares?

Noah, do you want to get anything done? Yeah, I want to get a couple of things. Subtle, I want to do a chemical peel. There's nose job using Botox, so it's non-invasive. Oh, yeah, it's not a 10. And I've gotten the hyaluronic gel in my lips. Yeah, and that's looked good. Yeah.

Yeah. I just got a bunch of shit in my cheeks and under my eyes and on my forehead. I mean, they just went. The thing is, girls, between you and me, when you go in and you get a consultation, you go, I just want to go subtle a little bit. The strongest woman cannot stay true to what she goes into one of these places. They know how to get you to do more than you want. And it's just, it's, it's a gamble. And like I've always said, I really think women who get stuff done on their face are braver than women who don't. Not that I appreciate women

who don't, and I respect you, but I don't think women who have face work done should be labeled as weak or insecure. I mean, it is an insecurity, but what a risk to take. And I think it's I really have always thought it's very brave. And I want to change the perception of that, that when you see a woman that has a fucked up face from a lot of surgery, go that woman took a risk and it didn't pay off. And that sucks for her. But at least surgery go that woman took a risk and it didn't pay off and that sucks for her but at least i mean that's a risk and it's you know she's like she went bungee jumping and the cord snapped you know like it was a risk that she wanted her life to be better and it didn't get better and she's trying to fix it no one wants to look like a shiny cat so when you see a woman whose face is all fucked up, can we all please agree right now to stop going,

what did she do to her face? Girls, when you say that about other women, and I've done it too, you are acting like that woman chose to look that way. Girls, have you ever chosen to look less attractive? Has anyone ever wanted that to be the goal? Maybe if you, maybe in some weird, but most of the time, all you, all we want is to be loved and we're doing this stuff so that people like us. So cut women some slack when they've gone too far. And men, you do this

too. Oh, her face. She fucked her face up. She was trying to look better because she knows that her value is based on looking better. No one's trying to look worse. So be gentle to these people that have gone too far. They're only trying to fix it. They're just trying to be better. Same goes for people who are overweight. Stop eating. Do you think they want to be obese? I mean, I think some people probably are happy being obese and they should be. Like, you should love who you are. But stop making people feel bad about what they are because no one wants to be ostracized

and in a way that makes them feel criticized by others. So this whole vibe of why would they do that? No one's trying to do it. And this is a nice reminder for myself because I yelled at Andrew this morning about the way he ate pizza last night. And we'll get to that for myself because I yelled at Andrew this morning about the way he ate pizza last night. And we'll get to that and we'll delve into that when he gets here. So sorry to get on my little soapbox here. But yeah, I just think that's it. All of these things are

for me, by the way, you guys. Important things for me to remember. Know what? Let's get Andrew in here. We'll be right back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance

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advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair.

And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

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I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my

journey through addiction and recovery, a story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Andrew Collin. Hey, Nikki Glaser. How are you? I'm good. Noah's here too.

Hey, Noah. How are you? Hi, Andrew noah's here too hey noah how are you hi andrew good morning good morning how did you sleep last night buddy i slept good i slept like 14 hours last night i know you did you you we had a little soiree over here for robin's birthday and um you went to the store with her to get booze and we ordered um three pizzas and some wings and then we had people come over and then um i would say about 40 minutes after people came over andrew went to bed at like 8 40 he just sauntered upstairs he just disappeared dude i did i knew it's i guess i I guess I Irish exited in my own apartment by going upstairs. Yeah. I just knew that the conversation, if I go, hey, I'm really tired. I just ate six pieces of pizza that I only wanted to eat four.

And I'm really tired and I just want to go to sleep. And I'm so sorry. I know this is a birthday party. I would get hit with, don't be a bitch. Stay down here. Which is nice because that means people want you at the party. You were really missed. I have to say, I wanted you there because you add so much fun to those things.

But I understood that you weren't in the mood to be the person that would have brought the fun and you were not feeling well. I would not have brought the fun. And so I was selfless, actually actually by taking it for the team yeah we didn't yeah your presence would have actually brought down the bash so thank you for taking that hit for us um it was also like uh a lot of girls we hang out with these same people all day too so it's not like we're getting a new influx of people which would make a party scene there were five or six women there that you don't hang out with all day and it was just me and robin and that was that was pretty much it who you do hang

out with all day so um that doesn't really uh i see those women all day no you don't yeah i do i don't know where which women which ones um uh jen here all day no you don't all day uh sean you don't even know who sean is okay keep okay there were women there that one you win anyways point being is i just like yeah i what do you how do you feel about Irish exiting? What are your thoughts? I think it's so shitty. I understand, though, when you say it was like we would have been like, Andrew, what? So it was okay in your own apartment because you're already home, you know? So I give that a pass.

But I got to say, like, Irish exiting is okay if everyone at the party is drunk and it's just going to be such a mess to, like, say goodbye to everyone. But it really irritates me. And I've had this happen to me a few times here where people go, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom or I got to go do this thing. And then they just never come back and or never follow up with like, hey, I went back and I honestly like I went to go take a shit and I'm just like wanting to get in bed. I'm sorry, I'm not going to return.

Something like that. And it's, it's happened to me over and over here with different guys that have like, I've been friends with. And I guess it's just the way people conduct themselves. I think it's rude. I don't think it's rude to just duck out. But if you duck out without saying goodbye, follow up with the people that you, that are going to wonder where you are and maybe depend on you so that you don't have to talk to

drunk people and get pulled into conversations you don't want to get pulled into because you were depending on those people coming back from the bathroom or wherever they scampered off to andrew well especially if there was still a bill to be paid that's a whole nother irish that's a i don't know what kind of that's an asshole exit yeah we went to be paid. That's a whole nother Irish. That's a, I don't know what kind of X that's an asshole X. Yeah. We went to dinner the other night and a couple, three guys from the dinner that I was already planning on paying for left before the bill came.

And I did get the bill, even though I was intending to get it. So it wasn't a big deal, but three of the people that ate never came back after they went to the bathroom or whatever they were going to do and so i was already going to get the bill but then i was annoyed that that was just assumed that it would be taken care it was like really irritating and that's my fault for not calling those people out and i'm doing it now hoping that they'll hear this and then they're going to

instantly pick up their phone once they hear this and text me an apology for that. Did they send you a thank you note or anything after? Or did they just disappear? No. No, they just disappeared. That's just the way that people do things, though. In LA, I think that LA or in this business especially, I'm working in TV

and show business. People are not that great in show business. Not that they're not great, but they're not... People in show businesses, including myself that great in show business like not that they're not great but they're not think people in show businesses including myself are the bot they're looking out for themselves and so not as considerate and that's just and these people are nice people like everyone i invited to this dinner and was there at that table are all men who i feel like are actually empathetic and like listen and are good friends of mine and it was just like why has this happened now a couple times with these people where they just like disappear just and i don't mind if you

disappear and go i'm so sorry and i don't even care about the bill thing honestly i was planning on getting it it was just the fact of like i'll be right back uh and then you know bill doesn't come back yeah bill doesn't come back for the bill doesn't come back god damn um no it was just like i i i understand an irish exit if everyone is wasted and and your exit will not even be remembered even if you were to say goodbye but um not okay let's just stop doing that you guys just be do unto others right i agree i think coming from living in new york city for 10 years it's it's probably the most accepted place to have an irish exit where you're out because no one cares because there's

other shit to do like no one's relying on you or needing you right to bring it because they could turn to their left and exiting from a dinner yes that's a different kind of irish it's so it's weird especially when it's half the table and yeah we yeah it was three two three of the gentlemen that i was at this dinner with left me you came back eventually but it was after a very long time and by that time i and i had i think i had stated that i didn't want to be left alone at this and and actually I was so sulky about it afterwards because I was like three people I wanted to like hang out with and talk have now gone And there's a couple left over but they're talking to other people I said fuck it. You know what?

I am not gonna let this ruin my night and be like upset about this That they did not mean to hurt my feelings. This isn't a personal attack. Nikki, let it go. And I really do realize that. That's not about me. I'm not thinking like, God, they didn't like me. I let it go. And I fucking danced my face off. And you know what? I was so excited to dance because I felt like the people that... Because those guys that I probably would be a little bit insecure dancing in front of because they're new friends that I would have to see the next day. I was able to go dance on the dance floor too I learned the cha-cha slide which I've never felt empowered to learn now y'all um even though it's very simple I just like always thought I couldn't do it I did um the it started out with the electric slide it moved

into the cha-cha slide and then I learned this other one that's like the wobble And then we did the margarita, which was the worst of the four and it was so much fun I sang wop I sang the boy is mine and karaoke and these were all things I wouldn't have done if those guys would have stuck around so I had the best time dancing and I felt so like sexy and free like I I didn't care if I really danced like no one was watching It was so fun. And I was with all these girls that like taught me how to dance and, uh, and we're like supportive of me and like,

girl, get it. Yes, you've got it. Like, and I'm so insecure about my dancing and it was just, it was the best. It turned into the best night.

So that's how I slept. Yeah. When you do the electric, it's hard to be upset while doing the electric slide it's so true it's like the daniel tosh joke about being on a jet ski like you can't not smile like try to look pissed off on a jet ski and you're like it's like that one video where the girl's dancing with her girlfriends or like a tiktok video where someone's crying like and they're doing a dance yeah sarah and i yeah there's that girl though

she's dancing with her friend and you see her like one tears coming out but she wants to keep she wants to keep partying yes she can't and her emotions the electric slide was a big it's like on a cruise ship like there's only certain places you really break it out but ah it really brings everyone together dancing and i want to dance more that i'm like it is so much fun to dance it gets me just in the best mood and i was learning that cardi b dance to um uh when it's up cardi b's dance up in the music video and um i've learned the first part and it's so sexual i just like love i love cardi b i love wop i love cardi i love any i just love how sexual and how dirty and funny those lyrics are like if you had a twin i'd let him run a train if he had a

twin i'd let him run a train it's like oh god girl even if the twin wasn't identical if you have but he's got to be identical he can't be fraternal when it's up in they both have to be six three with beautiful i slept like a champion no i slept i had a fitting today which i fucking hate fittings more than anything and i know that's like you know uh first world problem not even first world like one percent% problems of like, I had to go try on a bunch of clothes that were tailored to my body, but I'm pale, my spray tan is gross, my hair is disgusting, my

face is gross, like everything, I haven't been getting enough sleep, so my skin is just like dry, and I'm getting blemishes, not herpes, and it's okay, and so I was like, and I was late to it this morning, so I was in a bad mood and i hadn't had coffee yet and or eaten i was just like a kind of a bitch and i i had to shoot an apology to my

i wasn't a bitch but i was just like can we be done really soon like i hate this um and i slept okay i was up till like four and then i slept till 10 What is, how many hours is that? 6.50. Six and change. Okay, that's pretty decent. I'm going to be taking an afternoon. I feel like you should get a great night's sleep tonight. I probably won't.

As your friend. I'm having too much fun hanging out. You're pushing it. I know I'm pushing it. My voice is showing that's tiredness. Someone that slept 17 hours last night. Will you get me some? Huh? Will you get me some of those?

Wait a couple hours? I'll get you a couple hours. Alright, let's get to this. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. It always makes me happy. It's so fun. Oh, then the stories are on, folks.

Boy, do I hope you're having fun out there um this is a fun headline a ship carrying sex toys among hundreds of blocked vessels in the suez canal may soon be free are you even trying anymore i mean honestly like that everyone go back and press your little 15 second back button on your podcast listening app and just hear his delivery. And I know you're like, you're so mean to him that you want to just try to deliver that with like to make it understandable. And I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but I'm reading what someone else wrote. I understand that. Can I read it?

Like, I don't think it made sense to begin with, to be honest. Let me read it how I would read it. I am open to the fact that this is unreadable. Right? Okay. A ship carrying sex toys among hundreds of blocked vessels in the Suez Canal may soon

be free. So listen, it's a clunker of a sentence. There's ways to intonate and to maybe add the word a at the beginning which is like a an edit you can make on the fly or you could just look at this before we get to uh recording and and change it i've read all the stories i understand that but the headline if it's not good why wouldn't you just reword it uh because i don't okay let's get to it so a ship carrying sex toys among hundreds of blocked vessels among the suez canal may soon be free wait why do you keep saying suez huh sweaty ass

suez ship carrying sex okay i'll do it for real this is me being the most real i can be ship carrying sex toys no a ship like just add a to it a ship carrying sex toys. No, a ship. Like, just add a to it. A ship carrying sex toys among hundreds of blocked vessels in Suez Canal may soon be free. In the Suez Canal. Okay. Not in Suez. So a ship got stuck in the Suez Canal causing millions of other ships or thousands of other ships to be able not to go through, causing people to lose $10 billion in losses. Where is the Suez Canal? Honestly, I have no idea. And by the way, I am so out of

the news being on this show and working on this. I don't know where the Suez Canal is. I'm admitting that right now. I thought it was like, I just pictured it in Panama even though that already has a canal of its own. That's where they all are, I think. All the canals are in the same Panama City.

And I used to go there for spring break panorama panorama city panorama it's in egypt okay that's that's that's actually what i did think if i would have thought harder i mean so this boat got stuck because of strong winds uh that's what the driver's saying i think he had a couple uh and he's texting or texting yeah he had a couple. He's texting. Yeah, texting, getting a little hammered. Ship bearing about 20 containers of dildos, vibrators, and male masturbators may finally continue

its voyage and get the adult toys into the eager hands of frustrated customers. Yeah, so I guess the biggest supplier of sex toys in... the Dutch. Yeah. Denmark. In Denmark.

Okay. And those are some horny people. Danish. The Danish in Denmark. Is that? Yeah. There. Do you know?

Would you call them? Then what would you call them? What's that? Never mind. No, no, no. The Dutch I thought is in Amsterdam. Denmark. But what are people who are from Denmark called?

Danish, right? Danish. Yes. Okay. But that is a little confusing, right? Because I almost want to say Denmarkians. But okay. Wait, where's Amsterdam?

Is Amsterdam a country? I've been there. No, it's a city. If where? Denmark. Is it in Denmark? I think so. Noah? but okay wait where's am is amsterdam a country i've been there it was a city if where denmark it's in denmark i think so no i don't know if we're going to include international news in this segment anymore i know this is really no no no this is good hold on this is not international this is sex news okay by the way i i picked this story out of the lineup because sex toys are so important i'm in we're in the Grand Caymans right now where

they don't sell sex toys and they're prohibited on the island. The amount of dildos you brought here, you would have been in jail for a good 150 years. I had no idea that my friend on the set she said that she didn't bring any sex toys because she knew that they didn't sell them on the island. I didn't know that and she thought she would be smuggling

them. Thank God I didn't know that but I would have been very worried. I probably would have put one in my vagina and snuck it in and put one in my ass too and just smuggled it in the way you do. They would know you're up to something by how you're smiling. I mean, can I tell you something? You got one in right now? No, but I did a workout probably four weeks ago and I just stuck a vibrator in myself for the whole workout and like planked and did a whole workout with it.

What did that do? I just wanted to like feel something. I wanted to like have something to I wanted to like be horny during it. I don't know why. Does it give you energy you think? Yeah. I mean like I like it's almost like watching listening to a podcast when you're running or listening, like something to distract you from the fact that you're working out.

Yeah, yeah. So it was kind of fun. It makes sense. But it wouldn't stay in because it was one of those ones with a handle that has the rabbit part on it. So it was kind of annoying and got in the way. Were you masturbating and then you're like, I need to work out? Or were you working out?

No, I was horny and was like, I also want to work out. Let's just combine two. So anyway, last night I gave the girl. This might be a class. This could be a new. I know, right? The girl that came here without a vibrator, she mentioned that the first time I met her,

just like, because that's how we talk here. And I go, I have extras. Do you want one? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, I'll clean it really well. And so I gave her my vibrator last night. You down pretty quick how did you clean this thing with soap and water it's pretty quick and now you're dealing by the way oh my god i am holy shit we might not even be able to put this out like it's one thing she didn't buy it i am like uh i'm like a methadone

i'm like helping people that are trying to get off it but i'm not hurting anyone yeah um i gave her my vibrator and it was funny because it was one that has the clit sucking part on it and i took it out of its thing and there were two guys here and one of them was like i we were talking about um like asking guys about about women's things and wondering if they knew different. We're talking about a bit that we might do on the show and asking men about women's products and being like, what is this object? And it's like one of the things, attachments you put on a hairdryer, you know, to make it more like a diffuser and be like, what is this? And like ask guys. And I go, this would be a fun one to ask guys, like, what is this part of the vibrator? Like the little clit sucking part. And one of the guys goes, what is this? And like ask guys. And I would go, this would be a fun one to ask guys, like, what is this part of the vibrator? Like the little clit sucking part. And one of the guys

goes, what is that? What is that? Is how his voice is. And I go, it's, you put it over your clit and it sucks your clit. And, uh, he like, and this guy's a very sexual person, I think, and has a lot of experience and he didn't even recognize what that was. And all the girls at the, I taught the girls how to use it the best ways or like the girl that i gave it to and i think she had a blast last night i was so excited for her and i left all the toys i left um for myself i picked the one that i didn't need anymore you would think you'd give her the one you've used the least and it is the no it's the one that was easiest to clean and it was my newest one, but I definitely haven't used it the least. It's just the

cutest one and the most compact and it's just the best one for her. I don't really need the clit thing right now because I just haven't been masturbating that much recently. It kind of looks like a little elephant trunk. It's fun. It's cute.

Do you feel like now that you're breaking the law that you're a bad girl and it turns you on more? Ooh, I didn't even think about that. I do think that's kind of hotter now. Yeah, every time I use a pocket pussy, I'm like, ooh, I put my collar up. I mean, you did get sent. I got sent a ton of toys from Balessa. By the way, the one that I gave this girl is on Balessa. And it's red.

It looks like it's in a little poly pocket case it charges in a case that literally looks like poly pocket it's red it has the clit sucking thing and it's I think it's like a buzz feed like it's made by buzz feed I know that sounds weird but go to Bolesa B-E-L-L-E-S-A dot com which by

the way they also have the Netflix of porn there that I talked about earlier but they also it's B boutique actually B as in the letter b boutique.com and you can get this thing it's red and gold and it's in a little m&m case it looks like polypocket case and that's my that's the one i gave this girl and it's amazing what i love about this story is that you have known this girl for three days like no when i offered her the thing I knew her for 30 seconds. For 30 seconds. That is incredible. Because, you know, guys, imagine if I met a guy and be like, yo, dude.

This isn't a woman thing. This is a me thing, Andrew. Women don't do this. Okay, besides the point. Okay, me doing that, which I think I would probably offer. I would offer. I just don't think any guy would take anything that I thought. And you guys have lots of cum coming out

like women have less and these things are so perfect and easy to wash because they're just made of like this really whatever next story I think it's awesome thank you I can't wait to borrow one I think women should share toys they shouldn't be these things that if they're easy to clean there's nothing wrong with

reusing it guys you go to hotel rooms where everything has been jizzed on and you reuse towels that have been jizzed on that have been just washed. You bathe in tubs in hotels that have had so much jizz and probably shit in them. And they've just been washed with soap and water. So why not wash your dildos and give them to your friends? And by the way, we will get an update from her to see how it works out. Yes. Well, she's our neighbor.

So I got an update last night when she was howling through the walls. No, I didn't hear it. Next story. Researchers find that BDSM and meditation have a lot in common. A lot of sex stories on the pod today. Sorry about that. But not sorry. BDSM and meditation.

Yeah, BDSM research is finding similarities between BDSM and mindfulness and other forms of meditation, especially in the context of heightened awareness and relaxing altered states of mind. That's why I love it. I love it so much. I like to, I like, yeah,

I need that kind of stuff in my sex life because for me, orgasms are not achievable unless I'm very just aware of my body, my breathing, and very present. If I'm worried about what the other person is thinking

and what I'm thinking and how I look, it's not going to be achievable. And so, yeah, when I'm thinking and how I look, it's not going to be achievable. And so, yeah, when I'm put in a situation of where the control is taken from me or the control is given to me or it's clear that someone else is driving it and telling me what to do or putting me in a state that I can't control

any of my body parts so that I can't control any of my body parts so that I can just really focus on my brain or just focus on my presence, then yeah. I mean, I totally see how they're connected. And it's being able to... So it says here, mindful sex specifically can help you shift your attention away from negative thoughts and painful stimuli through accepting it without reacting to it. So you can then refocus on pleasure instead. Yes. Because what meditation does is they, it teaches you that your thoughts are like waves.

If you're trying to get out in the ocean and get out to where it's calmer and get through the waves, you dive under the wave. You don't just let it hit you and try to fight it. It'll take so much longer to get out. If you dive under it, you can dodge your thoughts much like waves. And that's during sex

I mean how many times have you been having sex and the thoughts are just like oh my tits look weird or my Her tits look that she might have a thing that I don't know like all these thoughts Keep you from actually concentrating on your genitals or your heart or your breathing where like Where all the arousal is taking place and they block that so No wonder so many people have trouble coming or getting hard or staying aroused it's or if you're like connecting too much that's like a thing like if i'm like looking in her eyes and it's like it could be an overload where like i'm like oh no this is this is like too heavy and so then you kind of block your brain from being like where i'm in the moment

connecting with this person so much that like it could be overwhelming so then i disconnect so much that i can't even enjoy her body or enjoy the feeling connection between your souls through eye contact is too strong yeah it could be too strong so then i think i i deflect that and then i completely disassociate i don't think of other shit i just i'm not in the moment i really recommend people when you're having sex the next time you're intimate challenge yourselves because i just read about this to not worry about the other person at all and just focus on your own pleasure and by doing that you will bring more pleasure to them only stay in your own body.

Focus on your, don't worry yourself about, are they happy? Leave that to them because that's their thing and leave your own, like focus on your own, how you're feeling. It's really hard to do. It's really hard to do because so much of sex is like, am I doing this right? Do I look good enough for him do i but just like try to stay in yourself and even like almost forget they're there and i bet it will lead to more connectedness i mean it makes sense because when we masturbate we're only thinking about our own genitals i'm always thinking about the porn and when i focus back

on myself i'm able to experience something totally different i just started doing it and it's it's i'm just at the precipice of understanding what that means but it's there's something there word uh yeah the bdsm though i feel like also you just hear anything that has like initials to it you're like that's like weird and in a dungeon and like weird people do you know what i mean and then like we we feel like we're dirty or if we even like think that we might enjoy it it's like how would society view us if we like to be in leather or whatever getting whipped or getting and uh yeah i love it and i'm trying to normalize it i love being tied up i love being i would like a ball gag in my mouth i would like and this is not

every time i would like to be i wouldn't mind if someone whipped me with i'm not like crazy about that i have a ball gag in your mouth during this podcast i know right it's a couple people wish that as well um all right don't irish exit this podcast yet yeah next story um do you own a ball gang no but i would get i would want i would want a guy to buy one for me like that's not something i want like the the nature of that is like a guy being like you can't fucking talk bitch i'm gonna fuck you so good and you're not gonna be able to even make a noise like not bitch but like in a loving bitch way it's kind of like headgear but naughty like braces yeah you're just drooling all over it's not a good look but it's so there's kind of like headgear but naughty like braces yeah you're just drooling all over it's

not a good look but it's so there's something so like i just like this i like being defenseless a little bit during sex not all the time oh my god next story uh i hope you're still having fun um little nods breaks the internet with montero call me by your name uh video and limited i'm sorry uh montero video and limited edition sneakers that have been inked made with human blood so he came out with this video he you know he did old town road then he came out of the closet afterwards so he made this video essentially being like uh he has sex with satan at the end of it and so people are losing their fucking mind like loving it or hating it hating it i mean well no like the christian right or just freaking out people were people had there's been mega churches with like his shoe being like

the air max 97 has made there's been changes to it oh no like oh they're all fucking going nuts about the devil because old town road apparently was a song that a lot of kids like and now like so they're connecting that but that song he wrote about he's like yeah i talked about lean and committing adultery in that song it just sounded fun yeah you know my baby like yeah there's lyrics in that that are not christian yet they're probably christians they're like we love that song and now it's a gay man is having sex with the devil and he sets a bad example now my kids are going to gonna want to be gay and have sex with the devil and bleed on their shoes yeah and and and what's crazy is like they tell this you know his whole thing i think is that

when he was coming up and he was afraid to come out as gay because everyone said you'll go to hell like yeah so they're told their whole life to hate themselves because they'll go to hell so he's just going hey i'm going to hell and not only am i going to hell i'm gonna have a pretty good time down there this is where you wanted me i'm down where you want and and i think it's the people can't handle and i'll speak honestly like when i see like um you know a gay man on top of another man or satan and he's like grinding like a stripper my first like thought as like a straight dude as a straight dude is like oh you know yeah and then i watch it again i'm like no this is fucking badass i'm not like turned on by it but i'm just like this is fucking badass and like that initial thought has been trained in my head yeah to be disgusted but then you'll

fucking watch some stripper in a movie uh you know dance on a guy and you'll be like a guy that is probably worse than satan like the disgusting guy that's at a strip club like yeah thinking he's hot shit and it's the same exact dance moves but yeah we're trying yeah so anyways but yeah i i i totally agree with that like i remember being reluctant to watch brokeback mountain back when that came out because i'm like i it's you know i love romantic movies because i can put myself in them and that one i just didn't see where i fit, you know? And then I watched it and was like, oh my God, this is the hottest thing I've ever seen. And it makes me feel just the same ways that heterosexual romantic comedies are. And then I watched Call Me By Your Name a couple weeks ago.

It's one of my favorite movies, top five favorite movies. It was so sexy and the the fact that it was a gay love story had no impact upon my enjoyment of it and a ability to empathize with those characters i this it's such a nice lesson to have how conditioned we are to just expect heterosexual relationships to be the norm and that we can't like yeah that's fine for them but i don't i i don't need to it's i can't relate to it so i'm not gonna expose myself to it but it's absolutely relatable and and i can't wait for more of them billy eichner's gonna be in a rom-com the first like uh gay rom-com and i'm very excited for that yeah call me by your name was incredible oh god

and there's a scene where timothy chalamet jumps up on you know the army hammer who's now not doing great but it's a character he's a character yeah he jumps up on him and he's like he plays like the woman in the role or like not the woman but like like the feminine energy and the relationship and like at first i watch it i'm like i can't and then like i watch it. I'm like, I can't. And then I watch it again. I'm like, oh, this is beautiful. This brain of ours that is trained to see this as a negative is fucking bullshit. I read something on Reddit last night that the devil, the creation of the idea of hell

and the devil was used to control people so that they fear. It's a made-up thing, obviously. I mean, I know some people believe it's just a, it's a made up thing, obviously. I mean, I know some people believe it's real, but it's a made up thing to make you scared so that you stay in the right lane. It's the same as telling kids Santa's watching like Santa,

or you're going to get coal for Christmas. It's the same. You, if you believe in hell and are scared of going to hell, you are just, you are the same as a child who believes santa is not going to bring you gifts and give you coal in your stocking it is tell me why that's not the same it is a hundred percent the same and are you uh so hellboy is a movie that came out i do believe in

god by the way so don't get at me of being like you're a godless whore i'm not i do believe in but it's my own version of it but hell boy hell boy uh there's been video games with satan there's been there's been millions of things so is it satan or is it the gay guy like you know what i mean which one are they upset about yeah are you upset about oh no you bring it up someone like having sex with satan and like enjoying it and like he's being he's trolling the shit out of it's it's beautiful will nas x we love you last headline why do we why do i care why do i care i don't know you tell me sharon stone says that uh i'm sorry my says that she was my phone is like has a virus i mean it's cracked a thousand times on the screen and on the back of it it's

falling apart so i understand she was tricked oh my god it keeps going down dude it was tricked into taking off her underwear for the infancy and uh do you want to just start over kind of okay sharon stone what says she was tricked in the infamous scene in basic instinct where she uncrosses her legs and she's wearing no underwear i've never seen that scene do you really see her vagina in it you see something you see something you see like a little bit of hair like it was so big back then because there were not that the internet wasn't huge yet yeah you could just see a vagina so easily i mean it was the most talked about thing for young guys still very the other night for the show my hair was done in a way of like i said oh

my god this is sharon stone's hair in that scene and basically it's like the movie i haven't seen but that scene i know it was iconic and i didn't wear underwear the other night either because it was showing on my seam on my dress and we were like oh my god that's so weird you said you look like sharon stone and then later you had to take off your underwear and the whole show i didn't wear underwear the other night either because it was showing on my seam on my dress and we were like my god that's so weird you said you look like sharon stone and then later you had to take off your underwear and the whole show i didn't have underwear on and i couldn't sit down because i was so sweaty i was scared it was gonna sweat through the back and people are gonna be able to see like up you know a back pussy imprint on my dress um but she said that she was in her new book she has a new book that has a lot of revelations but I think this is very important to know

she was told much like I was by people who meant well but she was not told by people who meant well that you can see your underwear in this shot so take them off and we won't be able to see it and then they use that against her in the movie that is so fucked up

and now that's what she's known for and it's almost like she's it's almost like her character like we don't know that her character did that we say Sharon Stone did that yeah we don't even separate it I couldn't even tell you what her character's name is yeah I mean that is so manipulative and

disgusting and the first time she saw it was like with agents and lawyers. She was also molested by her grandfather. I mean, this girl has had a history of sexual abuse. She's like, leave it in though because she thought it did go with the character.

Oh, she had them leave it in? Isn't that an interesting way to perceive something that you thought you knew the story of of like that was written in the script it was probably written into like uncrosses her legs and then you see how many sex scenes in movies did like they're probably like oh you won't see your tits completely and then they see the cut and it's like them completely naked i'm sure it's happened well you know what, I do have a good story about that happening to me

that I'll save for our final thought at the end of the show. We got to get to our next segment. And I also want to get back to something I teased in the beginning with you to explain. So let's move on to a segment we will do often on the show. First time hearing it. This is the first time we're doing this segment, but it's one that you will hear very often. It's called finish my sentence

Noah gives us a sentence and Andrew and I try to predict how the other person would complete the sentence and this is just an example of how well we know each other and how well we think we know each other and just trying to you know get in someone else's head

and then we will confirm whether or not we got it right we think we know each other and just trying to you know get in someone else's head and then we will confirm whether or not we got it right but we've done this a couple times in practice and we did a pretty good job. Because you do this to me constantly when we're off air. I know I have a problem with that I tell people what they're thinking and I'm often times I would say

I'm about 70% accuracy. Yeah I think that's right. Okay are you ready for the prompt? 70% of the time. Yes, what sentence will we be finishing for each other? Oh, boy. Okay, my deepest insecurity is... Jesus. Oh, dude.

Okay, okay. Can I... You go first. Okay. Hi, my name is Andrew Collin, and my deepest insecurity... Oh, shit. Here's what...

Hold on. Can I just talk through my process of what I'm going through to get to this? For my approach, and I think you should also approach it this way for me, if I was telling you how to think and how to act, is that you try to think about what I criticize about other people the most. Because if you look at what you are paying attention to and you hate in other people the most, it's probably what you hate about in yourself the most. And it's probably your deepest fear about yourself. So for me, being your friend,

I hear you mostly criticize people for using their sob stories to get attention you always think that people are trying to like get likes and like using stuff for like oh he just posted about his brother dying so that he could get likes as opposed to like oh maybe he just wants to talk about his brother and like maybe he wants attention for it and is asking for you know support from his friends um or he's bringing awareness to suicide because his brother whatever but you're like no he did for the likes it's like oh man you make me sound horrendous you do do that a lot but it's okay because i think my name is andrew collin and my deepest insecurity is that people don't is that uh people think i'm successful based on things that are not inherently

that people think I'm successful not for my talent but because of things I've gotten from other people or because of sheer luck or because of something that's not in my control and not because I'm actually talented and worthy of success. That's good. And a group of really attractive younger college-age men seeing my puffy nipples. I mean, the second one, really. You really nailed me.

All right, do mine. Oh man, it's interesting because I was kind of thinking the same thing first i thought your bunions and then i was like no i am so into my bunions right now i'm fucking can i finish you may finish oh wait that just like turned me on that's all i want to hear is a guy being like you can you could finish okay go on. No, my deepest insecurity is that you're going to interrupt me when I'm trying to have a thought. No, my deepest insecurity, honestly, or okay.

This is my show. A reminder to everyone who might be writing and being like, you're mean to Andrea. You don't know what I'm talking about. It's my show. My deepest insecurity is that, well well now that brought up a different one I told you that I really do look at this as our show I guess

we never even get to it because I don't let you do it because I'm so insecure I don't even want to talk about my insecurities potentially I'm really interested in what you think my deepest insecurity is I think there is something I think like you're very competitive but I don't know exactly how I'd put that as your deepest insecurity,

not winning. Yeah. But I think your deepest insecurity that I've heard you say the most is that I'm Nikki Glaser. And my deepest insecurity is that I will come on that. I'm really a fraud and that I'm not as talented or smart as people may perceive me. And they're going to find out who

I really am, which you've said a lot. Okay. Yeah. Now, you want to address mine? Can I address that first? Sure. Okay. That used to be one of my insecurities, but I, at this point, am very confident in my talent and how far it goes and how far it doesn't go. And I'm okay that I'm not as good at the things I'm good at or that I want to be better at. And I do think that I actually am deserving of the things I get now. And it wasn't so long ago that I felt like a fraud. But if I work hard enough, I am not a fraud and I'm capable of great things, but it's, it's more an insecurity of not working hard enough and people being like, you, you could have done better.

And, and, and knowing myself, like, yeah, you're right. I could have done better, but that was pretty spot on.

And can I, can I defend mine? Of course. Um, I feel like that. I have said that about the likes and like, but I, I feel that I have, I i have i i've seen people

say this tragic thing happened to me where i wouldn't feel that way it's a certain person or a certain uh you know it's usually a guy that you think is a like a fuck boy type guy yeah a fuck boy type person that like bases their life like you could i just see i think i see through things but a lot of it is probably i just see myself yeah in that person and i could admit that but i can also see it when i i'll be honest when i what is your deepest insecurity i mean that's up there i think i think you nailed it with the that people it's the same thing with like talent and like wondering you know why i'm in a certain situation did i just get lucky or did i just fall into it because i was you know a dog

walker or whatever like am i actually talented yeah i'm sure that's one of the things or that's a big one and my nipples i guess but um yeah i think so I think that's probably up there. All right, let's get to the final thought. Moving into our departure on today's episode, I wanted to get back to a couple of things, but that was very enlightening, everything that we just talked about. And I think it's going to lead to an intense discussion later on where we usually have a heart-to-heart about once a month

where we get all of our frustrations out and we usually come to an understanding of you know uh that our friendship is and i think it's on steroids in this current situation yeah like we we literally are with each other 24 pressure cooker or uh emotions yes absolutely and and, I think you said it before, you want to repeat what you were saying about like, it's mind boggling that we would get into an argument based on... Oh yeah, it's crazy that we would end up getting into any kind of argument considering we just broke down each other's deepest insecurities.

How weird. Yeah, how weird that that would bring up some stuff for us that we both are talking telling each other what we should be insecure about yeah and then and then and then and then breaking it apart yeah you know what you want to do find your best friend at home out there and just tell each other your deep tell each other what you think yeah the other person is most insecure about so final thought though um i teased in the beginning will you tell people what about the pizza incident last night what did i had six pieces no about you talk about deconstructing i deconstruct okay i'm not a cheese okay my perfect pizza is five times the sauce uh and and very little amount of cheese and i know that drives people wild a lot of people are cheese heads out there i'm not one are you trying to avoid calories or it's like

if cheese had no calories would that still be the same? Okay, I'm going to go a little deeper here. I think I don't love a ton of cheese because your boy was afraid of choking for a little while in his life. And a lot of cheese is tough to swallow at times. So I avoid it. And it has a little bit of fear of choking on the cheese as well as I just don't love a ton of cheese. I avoid it. And it has a little bit of fear of choking on the cheese as well as I just don't love a ton of cheese. I love sauce.

So let me just say what I witnessed last night. First of all, we were having a party. Before everyone got there, Andrew made a dinner for himself and for Robin. And a full dinner, like all the food groups were hit. It was like a stir fry with everything in it. You do these meals a lot, very filling. And then I ordered pizza for the people

that would be coming to the party. And the pizza gets here and no one's eating it. And then I think Andrew got a little anxious and I saw him going to the pizza. And this wasn't directly after his meal. So he had time to get full from his meal. And then I think he was feeling left out of conversations or something was happening it was before you decided to leave anxiously but i saw you go into this like zone of like eating

a little bit compulsively but i only notice it because i do that and i saw him take a piece of pizza this was maybe his sixth piece and i could see me even going for it like he was on autopilot like he wasn't thinking about it anymore and he he you know that time when you when you decide to start binging and you've turned off the part of your brain that feels bad about what you're doing and you're just letting yourself do it i think that was that was the zone food like the third piece, you feel bad. And then the fourth, fifth, and sixth, you're just like, it's already done. Let's just do this. So you were in the sixth.

I saw you take the piece of pizza, peel the entire piece of cheese off. Like the whole cheese came off in a coagulated, like in a triangle slice. And we're not alone here. There's people. There's six people around us. Many of these are attractive young girls

that probably Andrew as an adult male might want to look desirable around. Yeah, you don't want to look ugly in front of women or men. So at this point, he is literally two feet. He's surrounded by these girls and none of us, I think,

are eating at this point. And I watch him out of the corner of my eye in his own world, like totally, like not even paying attention to anyone else. Take the piece of cheese off the pizza, hold it in his own world, like totally like not even paying attention to anyone else. Take the piece of cheese off the pizza, hold it in his hand, take one bite of the pizza without the cheese on it.

And then eat, shove the whole thing of cheese in his mouth that he has just put on the pizza. It was like, like it was either all or at least three quarters of it. And then look at it and kind of go, do I want this this go back to the uncheeseless pizza uncheesed pizza eat finish that then eat the rest of the cheese and this isn't like so i i'm just i so later this morning i go i have to ask you what was i wasn't going to call

it out in person because i didn't want to embarrass you but i needed but i wanted to do it on our podcast where many more people were listening for For sure. So what was that? If you don't like cheese, why wouldn't you take the cheese off and put it in the trash or put it on a plate? Why would you take it off and immediately eat it? Dude, sometimes, like you said, I got lost in a binge. It's a blur to me. I black out a little bit, I guess, when I eat like that.

I was a little anxious. I think i was just overly tired last night um haven't had much sleep i just lost myself in the pizza i think a lot of people uh i also had a beer and i haven't drank in two years but it was a non-alcoholic beer and that might have sparked something because every time i would drink back in the day your boy was eating everything i would wake up with a roast beef like 18 foot sandwich that i probably fucked with mayonnaise all over my face or something else went down because you fucked it huh the mayonnaise might have been something else because you fucked

the sandwich first and then you ate it come whatever it was your boy was eating it i didn't care what it was and so i think it might like i had this Heineken zero and I think it might've sparked this feeling in me of like, Ooh, that loose, let my hair down. That's receding. And let's get after this.

Fucking. Did you go work out today? Thinking about the six pieces of pizza? 100%. Yeah. But I didn't, I didn't go extra hard. That's good.

Because of it. I, I did in the middle of the night, think about the pizza I ate and how many slices I had. I'm not going to lie. But I bet you weren't shirtless last night. I started off. No, I went shirtless halfway through.

I think after the pizza dissolved. Yeah, it totally evaporated. And then with one minute left in the show, I wanted to follow up on the Sharon Stone story. That happened to me where something that was edited in a way to make me look more whorish than I ever intended to be. I was shooting a sketch and it was a scene where I had to flash my tits and I was wearing a bra, a strapless nude bra. And I thought it was going to be shot. And what did I think it was going to, I thought it was going to, Oh, I was wearing a regular bra, And what did I think it was going to be? I thought it was going to, oh, I was wearing a regular bra, sorry.

And I thought it was just going to be me flashing my bra in the film. Okay. In the short thing we did. But instead they blurred it so it looked like my loose tits were out. Like I had actually exposed my breasts and they made it almost like pixelated

to look like my boobs were out. And I was so fucking furious, even though it was pixelated that that this dumb sketch i wasn't even getting paid for and was i was already so mad i was doing was then made me out to show that i would do i would do nudity in front of a whole crew uh for that role and i would and i was furious and i felt really violated by it because i was under the impression i was the character was flashing her bra which is hilarious to flash your bra but instead it looked like i flashed my tits to the crew and to be deceived in a in a short that was yeah like not being paid for it was like some internet thing that i didn't even want to do

and i felt like it was so it was a mix of all those things but that's a very small level of deception that happens I mean there's so many stories would you show your tits in a movie though that was as big hell yes I would I can't wait to get these things out there they're fantastic they got a couple more years left in like doggy style in there but I want them to be like I'd have to I we'd have to shoot around when i'm ovulate or like when i'm about to start my period because they're like bigger and taught like i can literally have like a cup size bigger and they just sit better um so you're gonna hold set until right now like i they're not as great as they could be and i i they're about a week away from being just fantastic when you masturbate do you ever feel your own tits and go wow these tits are great? No, but I

should. I should. All right. And with that, we're going to wrap up today's show. Thank you so much for listening, you guys. We are going to name our listeners tomorrow, so make sure you are there for that. Thank you for all your submissions you sent so far. You can always write to the show at the Nikki Glaser

podcast at gmail.com or you can follow us on instagram at nikki glazer pod on instagram and that's where we're going to put exclusive content that is more um you know fitted for fans of this show because we just feel more connected to you than we do with our fans maybe on our own accounts at least for me that's that's how i feel so make sure you um follow us over there and and keep subscribing and rating and reviewing on the podcast. It really means a lot.

Thank you for everyone who's done it so far. And thank you for all your feedback for the show and the DMs. It's meant so much to me. Love you guys. Yeah, it's been very nice and overwhelming. And yeah, it feels awesome. And I just want to thank everyone individually out there. Thanks, Noah.

We'll see you tomorrow, too. Cool, bro. Bye. John, I really enjoy you. Uh-huh. And we're done. Sarah, you were... Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.

If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on

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The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-r-t-e-e on the iHeartRadio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts