The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #74 Can't Quit You

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

Between you and Nikki this is the time to confront character defects. Andrew relieved his stress from shopping at Ikea by swinging some balls. Nikki had a life epiphany when she previewed HBO Max's FBoy Island for her girlfriends last night. You Heard it Here First, crock attack in Mexico, lonely sea turtles, reptiles in salads, unused gift cards and unlikely actors fulfilling their roles. In Nikki's Reddit Dump the consensus on tongues, stolen netflix hacks, rat emotions and a conversation about intuition takes them through the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hey, here I am. Day two of whatever week this is of the show. It's Tuesday. Day two of Tulum.

Yeah, three. I don't know. We got here on Sunday. It's Tuesday. If you heard the podcast yesterday, by the way, hello, besties. That's what I call people who listen to the show, if you didn't know, because I talk to you like my best friends and uh yeah so I'm in Tulum Mexico with um a bunch of girls from my um my past all the women from my past and um the resort was not what I thought it was going to be um I said I was going to lean into it it's more spiritual it's

more rustic um it uh yeah it's and I did the today i woke up in bed and i go all right well there's certain things about like i woke up kind of like you're in it like you don't fight this anymore i imagine i i hate to make this comparison but and i'm not going to but maybe some of you can go there before i went there that at some point you just stop fighting and you just take it uh and no I don't want to compare it to that horrible thing but what I will say is that I um yeah I just I resist at first for anything I get scared I get mad I get like before I left for this trip I was like in a weird zone with money of being like, I've been spending too much. Not enough's coming in. Suddenly, like in my mind, I'm poor and like just all these things that are based on no

information because I don't look at my money. I don't, I didn't Google this place. Like I like to keep myself ignorant because if I think I have a problem, I have a real problem looking at the future. Last night we were going to a place for dinner and Kirsten wanted to look at the menu beforehand. I was like, don't tell me because I don't if I don't like it, I don't want to start not liking it now. Or I don't want I just don't want to know the future ever. And I'd rather just wing it and then be able to be upset because I didn't know as opposed to I did know and this happened to me.

There must be something there of like I can't handle being upset when I sign on for something. So I'd rather not sign on for it and be ignorant so that when I get upset, I can be like it's because I was stupid. It's because I didn't look. You know, it's like the thing of like don't study for the test and then you get a bad grade and then you go oh it's because i didn't study as opposed to studying and then getting a bad grade and being like oh i'm just dumb i guess you know um but i feel good i am learning a lot about myself i am confronting um a lot of character defects that uh are just a part of who i am it's not because i'm a bad person but i am reverting back to i can be a bully as you guys know sometimes and like think i'm right

and want to predict it's funny i don't want to know the future but i constantly am mitigating for uh other other people's experience worrying about like oh she needs to order wait did you get your coffee wait a second do you understand this story because you do you know what like you know for instance my friend kirsten will uh be talking about we all know she's a trainer but she'll talk about something and she's like the other day at woodside i did this thing and like it'll be a thing that's not related to work she'll be like i heard this guy talking about and i'm like and I know that no one knows what Woodside is because they don't live in Kansas City and go to her and like aren't personal friends with her as close as

I am so I'll just go guys Woodside is uh where she works or I'll like fill little details in so that everyone's on board with the story and last night I was talking to Noah about this and because we had an incident yesterday not an incident but i was a bad friend to my friend carlisle who doesn't only knows noah out of this group really and kirsten a little bit but carlisle is like new to girls trips and uh i want to have her on the show she's so fucking funny carlisle forrester and is just you know she yesterday i snapped at her about something and it's about the same thing. Like I really get irritated and this, and I told her I was irritated because that's a thing that irritates me and I'm going to be kinder when that bubbles up because that's

something we were trying to figure out where it came from, but we couldn't really get there. So Noah, me and Carlisle had like a heart to heart last night after all the other girls decided to go to bed. Um, and it was so necessary because i had noticed carlisle was like quiet yesterday and sometimes and she's just not someone who's quiet she has such funny things to say she's like so i just and and i know everyone's personal like darkest deepest stories because they're all my like best friends but i don't know if they want to tell everyone else but i know that these stories will bring us all closer together and make each other understand each other so that we're all a unit but i don't want to set someone up to tell

a story that they might not want to tell other people so it's very tricky um so I was thinking you know what Carlisle's just being quiet because she's just that's how she is in round groups I guess I'm not around her with new people and then we got back and got alone with me Noah and Carlisle and we were talking and like just sharing and late night talks in our rustic uh hotel of Carlos hotel room and she was saying I mean I should have her in for the podcast to say this but she yesterday at the pool we went to this pool and she was talking about a comedian um and just referencing like oh this story I heard about this comedian and to me it's someone I know because I'm in the comedy world.

It's someone Carlisle, I know what it is now. Carlisle, I don't like Carlisle to put people on pedestals and think that they're like, because I do it. So it's all going to that. Okay, so she referenced this comedian

who is not a person that my friends would know my friends are savvy entertainment people but like this isn't a comedian if you're in the comedy world of course you know this person and maybe yeah but they would never know him and carlo said this person's name and then she goes you know the comedian blah blah blah and i go no one would ever know who he is. It just like, it made me mad because I'm like, why do you think that person's famous enough to know? Like, it made me mad because I think that she, when she idolizes me, I think if you're idolizing this person, then your idolization of me or you thinking I'm great or like impressive means nothing.

So it's selfish. It's like, i want you to know that that person's not fame it's just a petty thing and it also is an extension of like i've had you know in my family we often make fun of people it's been like a thing that brings me and my parents and my sister close together is making fun of people who do that you know this person who obnoxiously does it because they they want to alienate people. Carlyle wasn't doing that. She literally thought people knew this people. But when they go, oh my gosh, you know, Angie's taking the ITB next week. And we're really worried about the, whether she's going to pass the, you know, certificate program. And it's just like,

and you know, ZZ told her that she's one of the best and we're like no one knows what the ifc like your little world is not everyone's world how could you ever it just shows to me such a lack of empathy of someone else's experience that you think they know and comedians do it all the time too they do it to a fault my other pet peeve of comedians is like a guy will be on stage, you guys have all seen this in standup and you need to start paying attention to it and rolling your eyes and going to the bathroom when it starts to happen.

Someone will be like performing. This one doesn't happen as much. I'm trying to think of what, and a good example, but it used to happen in the early days of Tinder. They'd be like, they have a bit about Tinder and they go, so I'm on Tinder. You guys know what Tinder is, right? It's this app where where you go on it's like they tell everyone what the app is and you go

this is not everyone knows and if they don't know they need to know they need to feel stupid right now that they don't know this you don't need to describe this really it's just you're filling time in your act because you don't have funny things to say so you're talking or comedians also do the thing where they go um so they'll end a story they'll go and then we got there and the sign said dead end and everyone laughs and they go i'm gonna say that again the sign said a dead end and it's just like it's just a device to get more laughs out of nothing new and sometimes a repeated joke like that can muster like hilariousness but generally that is a tool that i hate people use we're on the flip side i just don't like when people assume i would love you guys to send in examples of when people assume you know what

they're talking about with some bullshit that is like only their life um sometimes comics do this you know we'll be talking and i'm always aware of everyone's experience because i don't want anyone to feel left out so like i'll always go like um a tag is a part of a joke that you add on the end uh after the punchline so like when someone said they wrote a tag um uh the other day when carlisle said she was at the store that's the comedy store that's not walgreens that like you know like this jargon we have and it's not that like a lack of empathy and Carlos part I that was I was triggered now I know I was triggered because she thought this person was famous enough for my friend Kirsten to know and she also was talking

to you I thought she was talking to Kirsten and you do know this person because you're in comedy Noah yeah so that was another issue of it was that I yeah I got mad at her not knowing the situation and then she did not stand up for herself which she is all like obviously that makes sense I'm paying for this trip for her she feels like she doesn't like she's maybe intimidated by me sometimes because I like there's a power dynamic in our relationship that I am aware of and I I can't abuse that because I know this girl is not going to like, I can bully her because she's not going to yell at me. But then last night she had like a list of things that I had done, not a list,

but like three things. I didn't get to the third, but that, and she shut down the rest of the day. She was quiet the rest of the day. And the thing is when that happened, when I go, no one knows who that is,

Carla, like I did that harsh voice. It's such a bitchy move. Cause I was probably hungry or worried about something else going on. I was stressed out and I just lashed out at Carlyle. She shut down and I knew that it upset her. Like I was not, I, she thought that I didn't know. I did know, but I didn't know her upset lasted longer than 30 seconds, but it did. She had to go back to her room after we were done at the pool. We walked back. It was like an hour later.

She had to go back to her room and do like a meditation to be like, it's not about me. Nikki was probably distressed. And it's like, I hate that I made someone have to like go talk to themselves about it. And it was really nice because I told her, and you know, you can't tell people how to feel or how to act in the future. But I, and I've given Andrew this too, because I, Carlisle and Andrew are But with those opportunities comes a sense of power that I have to admit that I do feel like they can't fight. They can't treat me like I treat them. And I don't intend to treat these people this way. It's just subconsciously happening

and I have to stay on it. And I told Carlisle, there's never been one time. She has a fear that people make fun of her behind her back because listen, we all do. And she hears me make fun of people behind their back to her about people. And I was able to tell her last night and like be, and really like I, before I said it, I was like, is this true? Do you not judge? She goes, I'm scared. My friends judge me. And I was like, listen, I do judge you because judging can be good or bad no I told you last night you're like the hottest person I've ever seen in my life and I was while Carla was like crying about her feelings I was kind of

staring at your ass the whole time being like I need I need to get my lips done because I want mine to look as luscious as Noah's and like I was thinking all these things as I was like Carla I love you and I was like staring at your fucking perfect butt. And, um, but yeah, I was judging you, but it was good judge, you know, like judging has a negative connotation. So I go, Carl, I do judge you. And by the way, you annoy the fuck out of me sometime. And guess what? I bet I annoy the fuck out of you. This is not a perfect relationship. And I know you don't feel like you can tell me when I annoy the fuck out of you as much. And I realized that I maybe am scary to confront. I hope you will. I hope you understand

that like when you have, I've always been able to see my side of it and apologize in a way that I think makes you feel okay. And as much as I don't like criticism and I might get defensive at first, given this talk to Andrew, please don't harbor these things if you can, although I know that that's not up to me and you can do whatever you want, but just know that I don't talk shit about you. If anything, anything I would say behind your back is because I'm like worried about you or something, but it's not like a judgment. And if it, and she could even hate that. Oh, I, I hate, that's my biggest pet peeve or like fear is that people when I was anorexic people

would talk about me behind my back about how they were worried about me yet would never say it to my face and it's like well that doesn't help anything you should talk to me about being worried about me and um and it felt awful to have anyone be concerned about me I was very impressed I have to say with how the the subject was brought up and how you responded to it, because there was no semblance of an argument or a fight. It was, you know, just so well received.

And when Carlisle brought it up, there was no like drama behind it or anything like that. I was like, so impressed by that. Cause I don't come from a home. Like I just come from a home where we just yell and fight and disperse and defend and defend, defend. Yeah. defend yeah and like like

i could have been like carlo why would you get upset about that but i like was and that would be what i would do two years ago you know because it's like and there's a part of me that wants to say that like i kind of kept doubling down of like i kept going you know why i did that because you shouldn't think anyone knows who that person is carlo whyle. Why? Like, and we would laugh about it. I was like, and I don't know. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Like, why did I care for her to know if Kirsten would think that person's famous?

But it's because Carlisle loves me so much and believes in me like as a star. Like she looks at me like, that's one of the reasons I love Carlisle. I like people around me who believe that I'm a good person and like lift me up and see things in me that sometimes I don't see myself. And so when Carlisle believes in me, I'm like, you believe in that guy too? You shouldn't.

He's terrible or whatever. So I think that's it. It's just it all comes back to me. And I just finally found it talking about it here. But thank you for saying that. It was hard for me to take that criticism because I because you know what it is I hate for I hate being something I'm scared of people talking about me behind my back like I'm scared that I'm everyone knows that about me Nikki always yells at people and corrects them it's just a thing that we put up with and

there she goes again and we're going to talk about it when she leaves and I can't control that and it's fine but I told Carlisle yesterday and I was so happy that I could say it because that's the person I want to be is like, I don't talk shit about the people I love. And I try not to talk shit about people I hate so that I could. And if I do, I like yesterday on the plane, two days ago on the plane, Kirsten was talking about some comedian that I do not care for. And I don't like the way the person treats people. Don't really like their act respect them for all they've done in terms of like their successes but like think they're bad for the world in terms of their messaging and think they're no from anecdotal uh you know stories

over the years that this person's not nice it makes people feel bad and is bad for the world based on all the pain that they've accrued in their life this person is not nice. It makes people feel bad and is bad for the world. Based on all the pain that they've accrued in their life, this person is only that way because they must have had a really hard childhood or their brain is a way that they can't help it. So I understand where it comes from. But I realized on the plane the other day, someone could have heard me and I was like,

and it would get back to this person. And I was like, I'm ready. I'm ready for that person to know how I feel. And I don't want to launch a campaign or anything because I need to gather more evidence and I need a personal account that with this person I don't want it to all be anecdotal because the people that have told me things probably wouldn't want to be named in the like my statement and there's not it's not the the abuse isn't egregious enough that it's like cancel time and I don't want people to be canceled by the way but I want

to talk shit in a way that I would talk to people's face and you guys know that so yesterday I told Carlisle like yeah you're annoying to me sometimes that one time when I told you I had to go and I didn't want to hear your story even though you're crying about like a really serious situation she's like yeah you like said like Carlisle you I can't deal with this right now. And I was like, Carlisle, that was at three in the morning. I had to be up at seven for a 12 hour day. I was just realizing how late it was. I was stressed out. We were in an Uber that had two trips. We were dropping you off. You started the conversation as the Uber was like waiting for you to get out of the car. And I just was stressed for him, for and I like was like can we do this later

and you like weren't you had had a couple drinks so you probably weren't understanding the situation and that's why you got hurt and also I could have done it a better way I could have handled it a better way and I didn't um but I did I did write her after that happened we had a really awkward interaction she got out of the car she was just like fine you know what I always try to talk to you and there's never a chance to get you alone to talk to you about like what i'm dealing with and like it's just like that's fine cool fine and she like got out and slammed the door and i was just like i just wrote her immediately like i know because i knew that she was got stood up to me because she was a little drunk and she's scared of doing that because i

might go don't talk to me like that i'm not friends with you anymore like that's i guess my fear i'm projecting but i think she had that fear. So immediately I was like, I wrote her a text. I go, we are fine. That was so justified. I was high. It was late. I had to wake up early.

I was just realized it was just the worst tornado in my head that you were trying to tell me a personal story. And I go, we're fine. I love you so much. And last night I just told her like, listen, I don't know if like I can't see a future where you do something to me knowing the person you are and I won't want to be friends with you I literally think I could put up with anything that you would do to me that

was is you know not like I can't promise forever we could always get divorced like you promise when you get married this is forever and there's always like take backs. But I was just like, please just walk around with the life vest, knowing that I know I'm fucking tough to be friends with. I'm going to slip up. I'm going to be mean to you sometimes against my better judgment. And I love you.

And I am ready to be accountable for when I'm like that. And please confront me if you can. And if you can't, I go, you know what, next time I say a snappy thing because I always know when I do it. It's not like I'm like blind to it, which thank God. I snap and then I'm still in it. And I'm like, I'm justified. And I feel her shut down. I feel her sad.

All I have to do is like when I cool down is like take her aside. Just put my hand on her arm and go hey I'm really sorry about that and like that make that will make it so that maybe she won't recover right away but at least she won't go back to her room and have to do like you know meditative exercises to process my anger for her so maybe that's a lesson for you and how to deal with your friendships and admit that you're wrong it's really freeing that you're not perfect and that we all have character defects that we get from our childhood

and the brains that we were born with that we didn't choose and they're not your fault. What is something that you can control even though there's no free will and there's really no control is copping to those and forgiving yourself for them

and allowing others to forgive you for them by being accountable. Let's get Andrew in here. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money.

We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. I was just looking at, hey, Andrew. How'd you sleep last night? I slept good. I went to Ikea and I bought a similar pad that I have at my place. So it felt like I was sleeping in my own shitty bed. Oh, that's nice. Did you throw a bunch of trash on the floor and yeah put some lacroix cans and celsius cans on the bedside table and you know i like a good ambiance piles of shit in corner uh no that's great so you went to ikea did you go alone um yeah i went alone it was about 50 minutes i went and picked up some stuff for Brenna.

She went to Ikea for your girlfriend by herself? What was she doing? She was at work. She did her first day of work at a store down there in downtown Chicago. Ikea's hilarious because in order to pay, you have to go through the whole fucking building like a maze. So I just went to the first. I go, I know what I i want get me out of here get me to yeah get me to you just close your eyes and ask someone to lead you through so you wouldn't buy anything like a mouse like looking for cheese in a maze so hard not to like check

out all the stuff i didn't even look i didn't even give a shit good for you i know i just ran i literally like ran through the maze my biggest pet peeve when I used to go shopping with my mom as a kid, like she would pay at the register and then walking out of TJ Maxx or value city or wherever we, what bargain store we were at, she would stop and shop again. And it was like, you,

we mom, close your eyes after you pay and we'll lead you out. It was like, it was really a problem. It's just like, but they know what they're doing. You know, even old Navy now has created this like little mouse

trap you have to go through with all these little things that you can just pick up. TJ Maxx, you go, I do need a bag of nuts. Oh, some low-fat chips. Why am I buying chips and popcorn at TJ Maxx? Why am I buying one caramel? You're like, I need an eye mask, a sleep mask, a new eye serum,

a shirt I'll never wear that says hot baby on it and i didn't know that until i like got it home and turned it around it's bazzled with hot baby it's like why did you ruin the shirt with this i love that shirt and also some i thank you i am a hot baby hot yeah ikea ikea will get you uh when you're done with all your shopping they try to sell you meatballs because it's swedish yeah and then when you get out of there there's a food court that sells you swedish food just to get you a little bit just a little bit more for you a little bit more you got in you got it did you have you played golf oh yeah i've played twice and not only did i play golf i drove 50 minutes and i looked up a golf range out there

and i hit balls out by the ikea i just found a random i didn't even know what this golf course was no one i didn't i never been to it i just drove down a weird wooded road and it was a beautiful course and i hit some balls i felt great and my mental health was good i came back and i had a nice dinner your mental health was good oh because you had a good swing and so you weren't like sad yeah your fate is bad you know if i swing the golf club good, I don't swing on my girlfriend. So that's. Yeah. Well.

Well. Good. Well, who cares? How are you doing? That's exciting. How's Taloomz? I'm great. Well, you know what?

You asked me as soon as we went on the Zoom because I go, damn. And I'm just looking at I'm opening up an Us Weekly. Carlisle bought an Us Weekly when she was coming here at the airport and I'm in it she didn't even know it and she's flipping around and I'm in it but I was just like looking at it as I was sitting here and there's just like red carpet looks like

it's from the can film that says can do and it's just like all these women in these gorgeous gowns and they just look look great and I just was like And I just was like, wow. I just was impressed by women's beauty. I don't know what I was looking at.

But Us Weekly, I just go, who's buying this stuff anymore? Everything you can see in here is online, I would think. But now I'm realizing, how else are you going to know that Nikki Bella wore something better than Eliza Schlesinger by 2%? I know. It's always comparing women with their dresses. And why did Eliza not wear it as good? First of all,

51 and 49, I would gladly take those. I would take the 49. Eliza looks amazing. Nikki looks amazing. By the way, who's taking these polls? Is this the Celsius people? Literally, this is on... I used to participate in the polls on the Us Weekly app, but I no longer have the Us Weekly app.

You participated in this? Yeah, it would show up and it would go, hey, you want to vote? And I'd go, yeah, just a click of a button. It's so fun to vote on things. People love a poll, yeah. I am in here. Hold on, let me get to it. I just want to find it.

Oh, my God. Us Weekly actually is great. So Carlisle bought this because there's the Britney story on the cover. Britney's Revenge. And I go, everything is online. Or two days ago. Well, she's been showing them a lot. Like, you know, she just, like, takes pictures.

Okay, so I am on this, like, you know, TV's. It's called Us Musts. Us Musts. That's a terrible name. TV movies and more and this is all just like you know promotional stuff there's a a full page thing for paging dr death which is starring joshua jackson as uh dr death uh which is a podcast that's now a movie and then there's on the television part it says falling for f boy what happens when a former bachelor producer launches a new dating show you get f boy island

hbo max's reality series july 29th that's thursday you guys will follow three women's journeys um the difference the difference between this and other dating shows is that this is a comedy host nikki glazer tells us adding that while they're all able to make fun of the process that doesn't mean the love stories aren't real and emotional behind the curtain is the headline when glazer got the call to join the series, she jumped at the opportunity, even though she initially wanted to be on it. I still got to go through all the feelings

that the girls were, she says, but it wasn't happening to me. That's true. I did think that I was going to be one of the girls. It's a great little write-up. Can I just tell you? Last night, Andrew, the girls and I,

I've got screeners for Fuckboy Island, or for FBoy Island. Oh, my God. All the episodes? I have all the episodes because I'm an EP on the show. I love when I read that. I love when I read host and producer. I smile for you. Dude, the credits go like FBoy Island created by.

She's an executive producer. What did you say? She's an executive producer. Let's get it straight. It goes created by... It's like the credits and it goes created by... It's important, Andrew. Created by... And then it goes executive producers and it lists

the three people's names that aren't me. And then it's the next slide is executive producer. I get my own card. It says executive producer, Nikki Glazer. Then another thing and then it goes host get my own card. It says executive producer, Nikki Glaser. Then another thing. And then it goes host Nikki Glaser. It's just like, yes, bitch. And let me just say as a host, I am very proud of this show.

I will say that my funny moments have been cut down by like based on the first episode I saw. Ninety seven percent of the funny things I said do not make it. I would even go ninety nine percent because that's just what happens in TV. You lose your darlings. And the great news is I can take those scripts and those jokes we wrote and talk about the show on stage and inject it into my stand-up. And so it'll be fine. So how many episodes did you watch?

Always a silver lining. Just one. But let me tell you. And how did you feel? Honestly, unbiased. As a producer, as a producer, as a host, I was a little bit like okay we need to fix this you need to do this different okay da da da da da

as a producer watching a seven girls who have never seen this show who are not I mean they're obviously like invested in it because they know I'm an EP and they know I'm a host so they're gonna be nice but watching

girls forget I'm even in the room. I was in the back of the room with Robin, who also worked on the show. So she knows everything that happens. So every time they would make a comment about someone that we knew better, we would look at each other and go, mm-hmm. But they forgot we were in the room.

They were so invested. I recorded something for one of the other EPs. And I go, I am literally sitting with a focus group of our ideal audience of this mix of girls granted like most of them are white one is uh she doesn't even know what she is um apparently her mom was uh left on a doorstep instead of like actually like she doesn't i think she's pollen wait is she polynesian i don't know what she is that sucks yeah filipino um yeah i'm really proud i have such a diverse friend that i don't even know what her diversity is um that being said i felt like this was like a focus group of girls that are smart cool some of them love these kinds of shows some of them like noah have never watched

one of these kinds of shows avoid them we they they forgot we were in the room they became obsessed with everyone like they have their favorites they were laughing the entire time not even in the stuff I said like I didn't even get the best laughs every everything else got the best laughs they I watched I and I've watched friends watch the first episode of The Bachelor I've been a friend that watches the first episode of The Bachelor this was different and let me tell you it had nothing to do with me because they like kind of forgot to even like congratulate i mean everyone hugged me afterwards but they were like more wanting to just talk about it and like talk about who they liked and what and

i go i have all the answers if you want to like if you guys are like good with secrets like i but i'm not going to tell you but like aren't you interested that i know and they're like we don't even want to like oh my god. We just want to process. It was so funny to watch. And one more thing I'll say. The true sign that this show is a hit is we are in Tulum, Mexico, the most beautiful place, spiritual place on earth. Yeah, rustic.

Rustic, ocean side, gorgeous rainforest. And I go, they didn't know. They thought I had three episodes. I go, by the way, I have the whole season. We could watch it if we want at night or something. And they go, no didn't know. They thought I had three episodes. I go, by the way, I have the whole season, and we could watch it if we want at night or something, and they go, no, you know what? Wait, let's check the weather. I think it's supposed to rain on Wednesday,

and we check the weather, and it said 66% chance of rain, and they go, that's, oh, I hope it is. Like, we're hoping for rain in Tulum so that they can watch F Boy Island, and we are only, Wednesday is our last day here. And we are – they were all hoping. And I go – I said to my friend Bill Dixon, I go, my friends are fingers crossed, like, looking at the weather in Tulum, hoping for rain so that they can binge the rest of the show.

And by the way, I can't wait to see – the show is beautiful. It's funny. I'm not doing this to promote it. I just really want to hear what you guys think, and I gotta say, all the reviews are, I am so proud as a producer, because this is great television,

and it's not just because of my hosting, it is because of the, what went on, both pre-production, during production, post-production, post, which I had nothing to do with, pre, I had nothing to do with,

during, I had a lot to do with, just in terms of like you know i mean i don't need to go into details but like i had something i made something that should win awards for how fucking good and compelling it will be and the reviews everyone that sees the show all these like you know kind of like um review like journalists that review i mean time reluctantly time yeah time time isn't cool it's a masterpiece and and by the way it is it it's it's so well done and based i just i you know what i said every reality tv character um is a color is a it's like a painting right every reality tv person and character on the show is a color and they have to go and look at all this footage where they have so many hours of footage this isn't like a scripted show where it's like we got the scene

they don't even know what they're gonna make and they decide that in every person they choose a shade of their color we're gonna make them the shade like they show different shades and we're gonna and we're gonna make that shade match this shape like it is a and everyone's well represented on the show like truly what i saw from people is what i saw on the show nothing is manipulated where i'm like that looks different but they have to they have to make a painting and it's that i don't want anything to do with that process because it looked so. If you're listening. And you edited it.

Bill, Ilan, Ben, Sam, Vanessa, Michael. Was that a thank you speech? Is this your. Did you just win an award? No, all post production and people that I don't even know from post. You fucking nailed it. And I'm a reality TV connoisseur and if I wasn't on the show,

I would feel like I want to work with those people that made that show. I love that. And just seeing my friends love it, Andrew. I was nervous going to see it. It's like seeing your baby at a dance recital and everyone's like, that's the best girl that's doing the ballerina.

It made me, didn't I say last night, it made me, oh, I know. We were talking about having kids. The first day we were here, none of these girls here have children. And some of them want children, are sure of it. Some of them are trying for them. Some of them are on the fence. I'm like more of a, I will see. And I realized that I don't have whatever it is that, you know, someone like Noah, can I say that you would like children someday?

Yeah, you would like children someday. I was asking Noah really like in a similar way of this hotel. I go, why would someone pay this much to stay in a rustic place? I just want to understand that brain. Like why? What's the why? Because it makes me mad that I don't understand it. And with kids, too, I'm like, if you don't have kids and you've babysat before and you've been around kids and you see how, like, what, why do you want them?

Like, why? And one of the reasons was seeing the world through your child's eyes, like, like being able to experience new things. Kirsten said that she was like, I don't know. When I go to Costco, I always take the, the grocery cart and I ride it from the door to my car, even by myself. It's what I've done. And when I was doing that the other day, I just was thinking how fun it would have be to have my baby or toddler or whatever and show them how fun this is and like introduce them to this. And I was like, that's beautiful. I get that. I actually don't get that, but that, that makes sense to me that someone would enjoy that. And then I was watching F boy Island through the eyes, a thing that I'm jaded about. Let's say that

F boy Island is a life. If we're doing the baby analogy like the hardships of life like what life is like or like the behind the scenes is what life is f boy island is the the um like i got to watch my friends live this thing that i already lived through their eyes and it made it so much more beautiful and fun. And I was like, and then at dinner I go, guys, I know I just said this yesterday that I didn't understand that, but like that felt so good seeing a thing that I thought I know,

I know everything about that. I'm a little jaded about, to be honest, because it's like it happened, whatever. And now I'm like psyched again in a way that I see parents at the zoo being like, look at that frog.

And you're like, oh, why are they? They're not faking that. They're able to be as excited because they're seeing that. So everyone watch FBoy Island and be my child and let me see the enthusiasm through your eyes. It would be great. Let's get to the news. Apparently. What?

Apparently you always say that with the news. Yeah. The news. Because it kind of is in the same.'t the same he says because it's kind of the same voice no the kid says the new apparently the news apparently the news okay yes it checks out 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year it's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities i'm joel oh and i am matt and we're the hosts of how to money We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little

overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions.

Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories,

and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people, what's up?

It's Questo. Quest love. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Quest Love Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical upper. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture.

This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend, Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow. Sonata, Matreya, Kathleen,

Hannah, and the RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right. Listen to quest love Supreme on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part

of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Oh boy, I hope you're having a great time out there. Can't wait for you guys to watch F.O.I. Island and be all of Nikki's kids and have all the swells.

Also, Cooking with Paris also announced, I gotta make an announcement, August 4th, I swells. Also, Cooking with Paris also announced, I got to make an announcement, August 4th, I am on an episode of Cooking with Paris where I make food with Paris Hilton alone with her in her house and then we serve it to our friends later that night. And Carlisle also might be on that episode.

Tune in. All right. An 18-year-old on vacation had to fight off a 12-foot crocodile and was dragged under twice during a night swim at a hotel beachfront in Mexico. During? Oh, in Mexico? Wait.

Yep. Where in Mexico? Tulum. No. It was outside your window last night. You didn't see a girl get eaten? That's why I want to watch F-Boy. I'm like, there's crocs out there.

We got to tell all the girls this story so that they want to stay want to watch F-Boy. I'm like, there's crocs out there. We got to tell all the girls this story so that they want to stay in and watch F-Boy instead of crocking it up. Well, she was taking a night swim. Crocodile came after her. There was a... Can we say where in Mexico this was? Is it near us? Are there crocodiles in Tulum? I believe it was like kind of Cabo area. Okay. All I know is

it was at a Marriott, so not here at the nest. But like a place that people go, she wasn't off the beaten trail. No. Like she was at the beachfront at the Marriott, so not here at the nest. But a place that people go, she wasn't off the beach and trailed. She was at the beachfront at the Marriott. Yes. Like the ocean? A crocodile's in the ocean. Yeah, crocodiles.

They're saltwater crocodiles. Oh, yeah, alligators. Yes, that's right. Okay, okay, okay. But I'd never seen a crocodile in the ocean with dolphins. Oh, I have. Do you know what I'm saying? I have in Costa Rica.

That's what's scary when you're surfing. You're like, there's 14 of the biggest crocodiles. These things are not from this earth. They are gigantic. They're so scary. They do the death roll. They get you and then they death roll. On Reddit, I saw a little baby crocodile practicing the death roll.

It was very cute with a leaf. It was so cute. It was spinning, but that's how they drown you. Yeah, they drown you and then eat you later. So the girl survived. The girl survived somehow. I have no idea how. Her friend was watching the attack.

But here's the thing, and this is what I find interesting. So they're mad at the hotel because the hotel, they had a sign that said, there are crocodile. You got to watch out, but it's a small sign

and it's not lit up at night. Now, granted, they're not expecting so many people to do night swimming, especially with. Oh, she's in Puerto Vallarta. Yeah, Puerto Vallarta. Do you think the hotel should have a bigger sign, especially the next day? Should they have a big thing saying crocodile attack? Because obviously it's bad for the hotel if someone gets attacked by a crocodile that's not good marketing how much should the hotel be accountable for something like this um what do you think i i mean you just with climate change

animals are going into places that are new now. I know, even a Marriott. What if the sign wasn't in Chinese and there's a Chinese person swimming? Is it their responsibility to get out their thing? Maybe it was a picture of a crocodile, so maybe the Chinese symbol for crocodile is not that. The crocodile symbol in Chinese is like, go swimming freely. Everything's safe. i don't know um you know every this is again going back to what i said in the opening about just not being accountable and also wanting to blame someone else for the your things that you did like when marion got attacked by that dog i did not everyone, what dog? What's happened with that dog that attacked her?

What's going on? And I just go, I don't know or care because it doesn't change the fact of what happened. How could it have, they should have done this differently. Yes, I understand like being accountable if negligence led to it, but it still happened and that doesn't change what happened. Marion could die and being mad at this dog or blaming and the truth is maybe you had a part to play in a dog attacking your dog even if the dog was a rabid dog that got off leash maybe i don't know you should be aware that a dog next door could get off as big. You should be aware that a crocodile

like how much of it is like maybe you shouldn't swim at night in the ocean. There's things in the ocean that could bite you. Like how much of that is on you? You could drown at the ocean. Like is it their fault if someone goes in? Like you should be this good of a swimmer to swim. Are you going to have a sign up for that if someone drowns because they're a bad swimmer?

Same with the vaccine. When people don't have the vaccine and they die, if people have chosen not to get the vaccine, I'm talking about people that have chosen not to get the vaccine and they die from COVID, I just go like, and they choose to not get it because they just don't want it. I go, okay, you took the risk. You weren't wearing a seatbelt.

That's fine. Like, I'm not going to be like, you're an idiot because that was their choice, but it doesn't, I don't need, they don they don't you're swim at your own risk swim at your own risk yeah everyone should put up that sign and then you have no yeah do you remember the first night we were here um we saw that like huge um like turtle in the water animals are gonna exist in water especially at nighttime you can't see it it was her risk to take i think the hotel

had a sign. I mean, I guess they wanted a specific sign that said no swimming at night. But you can't expect to not share the ocean with other creatures. They should have a sign in the bathroom that says don't slice open your wrist with the razor blade that you brought. But how do I know that? Don't jump off the balcony.

Yeah, exactly. Common sense. And by the way, even if they do know, like, and maybe, like, I'm talking not knowing all the details, so maybe they were actually,

didn't put up a sign because they, it doesn't really happen that much and like sometimes they cover up these things and then, yes, they need to be accountable if they know the risk

and they choose not to warn people. But freak accidents happen and I really am annoyed when people get litigious after this kind of stuff. This Marriott did not want this girl to die. Yeah, if the building collapsed because of the elevator of that place that I was

staying plummeted because they hadn't gotten it expected, I'm going to be mad at them. But if it had been inspected and... What if the crocodile bites the wires? And it was just a freak... Yeah, crocodile bit the wires. I'm not going to blame the hotel for that. Or like... But

also, I'm not broke. So maybe if I was broke, that seems like a cash fall and I want... I just think that a lot of times people want to blame people for things that are just no one's fault. No one's fault. And you want... But because when it's no one's fault. No one's fault. And you want, but because when it's no one's fault,

you take on the blame yourself. I do feel like. And that's too shameful. I do feel like if a girl got bit the next day and the hotel, again, didn't really make an effort to tell everyone that there's a crocodile in the water, then it's on the hotel. But the first girl, there was a sign. Read the TripAdvisor reviews. I think they might mention croc attack. there's a crocodile in the water then it's on the hotel but the first girl there was a trip

advisor reviews i think they might mention croc attack that might be the first one okay let's get to the next story apparently okay uh a seattle woman says she was eating a salad she bought from evergreen salad when she discovered a dead lizard halfway through eating okay well this is definitely going to happen with climate change. New animals are going into different regions. Definitely pests. We eat so many bugs and different

animals that you don't even freaking know about. First of all, we eat animals. Newsflash to everyone. If you found a chicken in your salad, would you be like, what? That's so funny to me when people are eating fried chicken. They're like, there's a chicken foot. It's like, yeah, there's also chicken leg and muscle.

Like, there's a beak in here. The rest of the chicken's there, too. So you shouldn't be alarmed that a chicken beak is in a chicken sandwich. So a lizard in your salad is not ideal. That's so funny. It's so funny Thanks that's like literally one of the most Vegan points about things Whenever I'm on subreddit vegan

There's always some report of like A woman found a beak in her fried chicken And she's just like what the hell And it's like you're eating animals So I would Think I was lucky if I found a lizard in my salad And Andrew you're scared of lizards. We know that.

Was it a dead lizard? It was a dead lizard. I would just hate if my fork went through it and pierced its little lizard belly. I'd feel so sad. The restaurant was like... It's so funny when a restaurant takes blame for something like this and then they add the word alleged. You know what I mean?

They go, oh, alleged. this and then they add the word alleged you know what i mean they go oh yeah allegedly like we're very sorry for the lizard being allegedly in the south like they it's like such a passive apology kathy griffin named one of her specials allegedly because she tells celebrity stories and it's just she has to say that for every single one to protect herself and it's just such a like, fuck you. You're right. Well, based on his account, this is what it is. Or just you could trust me, bitch. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess people do put lizards in things

and try to- Have you guys found disgusting things? Have I? I told you yesterday how I found the, there was some kind of- Oh, the hair. No, there was a maggot of some sort in my Taco Bell, and I just took it out of my teeth,

threw it on the thing, and I just kept eating. Yeah, like your... And it was delicious. People are getting grossed out right now, and I want to just say, you're right. That is disgusting,

and that is... I would judge that. What? A hair, I would just take it out. A maggot, that means that there's more maggots, dude. It wasn't a maggot. There's never a maggot that's on a spiritual journey by itself.

I'm just going to go out and be on my own. Although, I will say that we watched that turtle the other night that came up on the shore. We were all watching this turtle in the dark because we learned that you're not supposed to... By the way, I just want to say this. If you ever see a sea turtle at night

coming up to the shore, don't shine lights on it because it will scare them back into the sea and then they won't feel safe and they might die or get eaten by a shark because they are scared to go on land because of your dumb light. We didn't know that. Some passersby told us. We were like, cool. We sat in the dark. Eventually the turtle came back up and came on.

It was so beautiful. We were all quiet watching this like gigantic turtle come up we could see its silhouette we were like you know probably 25 feet away from it probably more and um and i just was thinking like oh my god isn't it interesting that there's some animals that are completely loners you know they don't they're not in a pod or they're not they don't have the herd they don't even have a name for a group because they don't have there's not like a murder there's a murder of crows but there's like a nothing of turtles because they're just like they don't hang out together and trying to understand what is the point of life as a turtle then if it's not for like because as a human so much of our happiness

and the point of living is being based on social activity socializing and it was just like wow what would it be like to have your whole life all you do is just you're by yourself i was like lonely for the turtle but that turtle doesn't know that it's lonely it's like that's the way the turtle is and i also it reminds me of when i was watching some documentary about sea world or like not blackfish but it was some other thing about dolphins that are in captivity or whales and um they said on this thing it makes me like cry even thinking about it that a dolphin in captivity by itself even with like one other dolphin you know it's dolphins don't just get along because here's another dolphin it's like putting two people together like they might hate each other um but dolphin alone this woman said this dolphin everything that makes this dolphin's

life happy is taken from it it like it needs socialization it needs a space it needs to hunt its food like anything that it would live for this this is a definitely a depressed animal and like wants to kill itself like when you see an animal in captivity, zoos, stuff like that, I know there are good people doing these things and some of these animals are like rehabilitated, but generally you're taking everything that makes that animal's life worth living from it. But we look at Cajun, we go, oh, he's got a tire. I would like that tire. Oh, he's got friends.

I would like those friends. This is a nice life. It's like, but you're not, you don't know what makes this kind of animal happy. Think about not from a human perspective, but from it. Yeah, I love a turtle. A turtle in the zoo is like, really? You put me by four other motherfuckers. I want to be by myself in an ocean without anyone around so I can do whatever the fuck I want.

I'm a turtle. I don't need nobody. It's working on its memoir. It wants to be alone. It probably goes to Tulum I'm a turtle. I don't need nobody. It's working on its memoir. It wants to be alone. It probably goes to Tulum to write a book. The nest in Tulum. Next story. Same joke.

Same time. Best friends. Yeah. We did it. Best friends. Apparently. Here we go. There's about.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yes. Yes. There's about 15 billion in gift cards, vouchers, and store credits that have not been used. More than half of adults have unused gift cards. Oh, this is a great headline.

Thank you for this one. My dad always says that. He's like, it's the biggest waste of money. It's your just, these people are making hand over fist. I don't even know what that means. Like, they're making so much money. It's true. I mean, how much money do you, do you have a gift card right now that's burning a hole in your wallet and that place might even, like, go out of business?

I don't, but I definitely can see how this can happen. I do think now with online shopping, it would probably be less. I think the idea of having to go to the store is probably the most annoying part for people. Also, it just doesn't seem like real money. It seems like, you know, phony money. Like, oh, this really works at the store? Right. I always was a big component. also it just doesn't seem like real money it seems like you know phony money like oh this really works at the at the store right i always was a big component just give me cash and then i'll figure it out um but yeah cash has now turned into gift cards but yeah um but yeah i agree like

i think that i have a ray-ban gift certificate gift card that's been in my wallet forever and every time i think i lose my wallet I don't think about the cash or my driver's license. They go, why didn't I spend that goddamn rate? But where's a rate? I guess I could type in the code online. Probably like $150, something enough for some good ones. Yeah, go online. And I've just never used it. And my Starbucks

cards, like every time I get a new gift card, it opens on my app as a new account and I can't merge them all. So literally, I have probably $100 spread out over like 25 cents on a hundred different you know 400 different cards uh and they're never gonna get used like i don't know there's no way to consolidate that unless i go to the store and go can you add this 25 so they're just making all that i love that like your gift cards for starbucks it's like a mutual fund. But like you can invest in a mutual fund of Starbucks where it would all be merged for you. Like you're your own individual investor and you can't.

You like a nice group of gift cards. Yes. I mean, Starbucks gift cards are my favorite present. Who got you the Ray-Ban gift card? Because I want to know. That came in a gift bag or something. Some event I went to, they were sponsored by Ray-Ban, and they gave every celebrity a gift card.

So you could just probably go online and use it. The other thing is. I'm going to do it. This is going to get me to do it. And I think everyone listening, if you have a gift card burning a hole in your wallet, just go online and type that little code in and see what happens. I guess my fear is it's expired and then I'm going to be mad at myself. So I'd rather just not find out.

Well, here's the thing. You can go to these websites. And obviously this wasn't just to promote these. But cardcash.com or raise.com. And you could get cash, 85% of the value. So if you don't want anything from the store, you're like, oh, just give me 85 bucks or whatever. Listen to that. Okay, guys.

There's a place to get rid of your cards if you like get a, I've always wanted to buy someone like, you know what the best gift certificate is or a gift card is to a place, a store,

is just a buy something from that store. It's a tangible thing that they have to then return to go to the store and then they have to shop there but it's like,

whenever I buy my mom a sweater for Christmas, I go, that's just a gift card to that place. Just turn it in and if you like it, great, but if you don't, just go, that's just a gift card to that place. Just turn it in. And if you like it, great. But if you don't, just use the money there.

And then you have to spend it there. And I know people are like, just give me cash so I can spend it anywhere. It's nice. The paralysis of choice sometimes leads me to go, okay, this $100 cash, I should save it for food and toilet paper and point chip. It's kind of nice to go, you have to spend this at the Apple Music Store. You have to spend this at Kohl's. You know what I try not to be, though? Kohl's gift card is the new Kohl in your stocking.

Okay, what? Okay. I want to not be the person, and I know this person's out there, and I think I have a little bit of this, is if I gave you a gift card to, let's say, you know, wherever, to Kohl's, whatever, a week later I would check in and be like, hey, what did you get from Kohl's? You know, and then another week later I'd be like, hey, what did you get from Kohl's? And then another week later, I'd be like,

hey, what did... Being like... Yeah, like being like... It's kind of a pat on my own back of buying the thing for you. Oh, you think? When you got me a birthday present, you came home the day before my birthday

and were like, can I give it to you? You're swinging the bag in my face. I said, I don't want to be this person. I'm saying I am, and now you're yelling at me for being in person. I want to know how much credit you wanted from Brenna for going to Ikea. Did she give you enough credit for it? Did you go, wasn't I a good boyfriend?

Did you do all that stuff? I was very. I want to get Brenna on the podcast, actually, to answer this question. Is she there? I just had her on an episode of my podcast. Of Puddles. Brenna, are you here? She might have left.

Brenna? Oh, damn. branna uh she's gone oh i hope forever how dare you um she you move her there that she no i go i go i got her a free gym membership for life here because i know someone that owns a gym here in chicago like a bunch of does she have to post no Instagram for the rest of her life too? No, nothing. Do nothing. A gym membership for life? Well, I mean until – You really want this girl to stay there and away from you.

Well, he wrote me. He goes, if she dumps you, I'll cancel the membership. I go, if she dumps me, there will be a new girl on the elliptical by noon. That's such a cool gift. Yeah. But I was just like, I don't – I've brought up the gym like four times since I gave her the gift. And I just, I got to stop.

I just want to stop. I don't want to be there. What do you want? Can we talk about what you want? I don't even want anything. It's just like, I don't know what it is. I'm just like. Yes, you do.

It's okay to want something. You want someone to go, thank you so much. I can't believe you did that. It means so much to me. You want credit. I guess. Mom, look, I got an A. Like like we all want that that makes sense when i give a gift and the person like robin is bad at saying thank you my friend robin she she admits it like to us even andrew from and cayman islands robin she uh she's like i just don't like i'm i'm bad at saying thank you

and it's not because i'm not grateful it's because I hate when I feel like they want it so bad. I just don't want to give it to them. I want to say thank you. And I'm the same way when I see Andrew empty the dishwasher, and he's kind of like, I know he's waiting for me to acknowledge it. I'm not. No, no, no. But that's not what I'm doing.

Well, I project that you are. Yes, you project that I am. Even though I would literally bet my life savings that you want me to say something. I'll kill you. So I get it. Yeah savings that you want me to say something. I'll kill you. So I get it. Yeah, you just want credit. You want to know, like, I'm a good boy. I did something mommy luck.

You know what it is? You know what it is? I go, hey, I can get you gym membership. And she's like, yeah, okay. Like, I don't know if it was, like, completely believed that I can get this for her. And then I got it done. And then once you did, what did she say? I mean, she's so thankful.

And Brenna's the best. So why bring it up again? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to be that person. I just don't want to be that person. I'm not going to be that person anymore. You don't know.

You are that person. That's okay. You just need to actually. I mean, you do things like that sometimes. You'll be like, who got that for you? Who did that for you? You say that to me all the time. I go, why do you think you guys had anal sex?

It was because I talked about it and said how great it was. Why did you go to therapy? Why did you do that? Why did you quit drinking? It's me. I want credit. Tell me. But why do we want credit? I get it.

Why do we want it? Because it's our ego. Ego, yeah. And it means that we are important and that you depend on us and you won't leave me. Because look at how I changed your life. Keep me around. I'm going to keep doing that. Don't abandon me.

And so the second I stop looking for praise from you, you'll know that it's time to go. Why do I care? It's not that we've gotten better as friends. No, you need to move on. Why do I care? Well, keep asking. All right.

All right. In response to The Wrap tweeting about 10 actors who were way too old to play teens, Trevor Donovan responds, age is just a number. Get over it. Some people look younger and age slower than others. Stop promoting ageism. Okay. I'm about to do the thing that I just talked about at the top of the show where someone says something

and you assume everyone knows what you're talking about. You read the word The Wrap. I'm guessing W-R-A-P and The Wrap is a publication or a magazine. I know that because I'm savvy and I go online. I know that The Wrap is something I've seen before. No one that doesn't know entertainment news, some people might get to the place where they're like, oh yeah, he must be talking about a thing. You need to

edit that and go, The Wrap, W-R-A-P, it's a publication, reports that. Are you yelling at me or Noah? You. Okay. Well, I think it's a group, me and Noah. Can I talk to Noah? You're the one presenting it. Because we do this together. This is without

you. Noah, I do not... Noah Noah you didn't even read the full article yesterday About dopamine And so we know that you're not doing all your homework Yes I did Oh you did He just didn't report it I didn't report it because we started talking about something else It wasn't on me

This is taking away my dopamine I'll tell you that Listen we didn't talk about you Like you fucked up. I was just like, Noah even said the other side. She goes, I don't know if Andrew read the whole thing, but I wanted to tell you this one thing. And she wasn't mad at you.

She said, I don't know if he read it. I did read it. I leapt to that you did it. I've learned a lesson. I wish that Andrew would have gotten to the story, but you guys went off on a different story because there was the part about the setting mini goals that trigger dopamine throughout the day that's that's a point that I really wanted you to make that I'm sorry that was me being mean to you Andrew and I want

to just say that this is my character defect is I get mad when people assume other people will know what they're talking about like the rap I wanted because at first i go the rap and i'm like i was thinking he was gonna say the he meant to say the rapper like the rapper jay-z or the rap artist blah blah and then i got confused and then i didn't even know what you're saying i probably shouldn't even mention the rap at all not even yeah maybe that's a good idea let's let's try it again okay all right um and feel free to fuck it up This is a learning experience This actor from 90210 Trevor Donovan Responded to An article that said Way too old of people to play teens

He says age is just a number Get over it That wasn't great That wasn't great He responded to an article that was about People who actors who are way too old To have played the teenagers that they were cast as. And he responded, this guy that is, how old is he? Is it relevant how old he is?

He's 14? I think he's 40. He's 40 now, but he was 29. Oh, 29. Got it. So he's being defensive because he was 29 and got this teen role. I mean, this is the same thing of like, you know, when Scarlett Johansson's playing an Asian person or Mickey Rooney is like, it's almost like a.

It's probably easier to get actors to fuck on camera when they're 28 than 17, because there's probably like loopholes or like there's probably some. Remember how read his response, though though because I think that's important is it about dopamine? well he goes age is just a number get over it some people look younger and age slower than others stop promoting ageism he thinks it's ageism

okay I agree with this and I agree that also sometimes adult actors are more capable of doing a better job than child actors because they have more experience right and that they're going to be more professional on set you don't have to hire tutors you don't have to deal with parents and that might be a reason to get upset is because like oh because i need a tutor and all this extra money you're not going to hire me that could be a whole thing but

i mean if but yeah but the problem is you know I've heard a lot from gay actors that they hate when straight people are cast as a gay character, like give that to us. And part of me goes, yeah, you should like and then but that should straight actors not be played by gay actors. But I do believe that like I I would prefer gay people play gay people on screen so it doesn't take me out of it. And also some of the gay romance movies, obviously the Brokeback Mountain and then the one with Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet. What's it called? I always forget. Fuck the Plum. The apricot one.

I think it's called. Yeah, Fuck the Apricot that movie i was so moved by the gay love story that it and it you know it's hard sometimes to understand as a hetero person you you understand that gay love is the same but you don't you go you know i remember watching broke by a mountain and thinking i'm not gonna love this like i would love a straight story because i can't relate to it right like there was a part of me that was not that i was like this is gross or something it was just like it's just i can't relate to it, right? Like, there was a part of me that was, not that I was like, this is gross or something. It was just like, I don't want to see too, I don't watch porn of gay guys. It's like,

not going to do it for me. Not that this is porn at all. So I had all these preconceived notions and then I watch it and I'm like, this is better than You've Got Mail in terms of love story. I do not think about these two guys being guys. Yeah. Oh my God. You know what, Andrew? I can't quit you quit you and so i was and i felt the same

way about the apricot come apricot i was like that movie did not it didn't matter that but i would have maybe preferred those actors to portray that even more accurately as if they were actually there's something to my brain that thinks, here's two straight men playing, like there's a beauty behind straight men being so comfortable with themselves that they can play gay actors that it somehow shows as a straight man that it's okay to, like, it makes me almost-

To get paid billions of dollars. Well, yeah, yeah, $20 million to do one kiss. Oscar bait. Yes, to feel one dick in jeans and Wranglers. No, no, it makes you go, like, listen, you can indulge in, you can, that's okay. You can still be a hot guy who's literally had gay sex, or like simulated gay sex on camera, and everyone saw it, even though you're playing a character, and it's fine. Yeah, I agree.

I will say, though, that it reminds me of this one time I took an acting class and I was really young just 22 I was just out of college moved to LA to this acting class I was playing a hot baby because that's what my shirt said and I went to this class

and there was a probably a 40 something year old guy in the class and I'm 22 and all the girls in the class are just super hot, cute girls. Not myself. I like felt out of place and they're all like gorgeous model Lee girls. And,

uh, this guy was in the class and there were some cute guys in the class too, but there was a scene that we all had to practice where you have to kiss, not make out, just like a kiss. And I just did not want to kiss this old man. Like I didn't want to and i like how old was and i and we would practice separately before the class in his 40s but he was

just like not a guy would want to kiss whether he was old or not but we would all practice together as groups and then we would go to the class and then combine with the other people to make the scene and as groups it would all be us girls practicing. And I remember being like, guys, class on Sunday, I am not going to kiss this guy. I refuse to do it. And they were like, we don't want to either. And I go, I'll stand up for us.

Like, I'm going to say we don't want to do kissing. And so I stood up in class and was like, before we start the scene, I just want to say, like, I don't want to kiss anyone. Like, I'm just not comfortable kissing anyone. And the person was like, well, what if you get a part in a movie where you have to kiss Mark here? And I go, then I'll do it.

But I'm paying for this and I don't want to kiss him. They're like, well, that's not professional. You're learning how to audition. This is part of the audition. I go, no, I don't want to. And they're not going to either. And then all the girls were like, we'll do it. And I was like, what happened to my whole rally?

And so I was the only one that said I wouldn't. You were like cut from that what do you mean yeah oh yeah i was a little turtle here didn't want to kiss anyone so what happened with the class um i was like uh he didn't like me that that teacher really hated me after that and said i'm not professional and the truth is i'm not i didn't want to be an actress and I didn't want to kiss him and if I got cast in something where I had to kiss someone that was gross, I would just deal with it but I know that that can be very

uncomfortable even for very professional actresses sometimes where they have to kiss someone that they're repulsed by that is a me too person or is getting horny during it. I've heard of that before and vice versa. Let's get to Reddit dump. This is the weekly segment where I go through my Reddit account

and I share with you the same things. I'm just picturing you taking a nasty fucking balcony reading Reddit. You know that I take the shortest shit ever so it would be like a TikTok dump is what I would be doing. Oh, I'm holding it up. Okay, so my saved. Let me share with you what we would be doing. Oh, I'm holding it up. Okay, so am I saved?

Let me share with you what we got going today. Oh, there was a video of Tom Brady's accuracy, but then I realized it was a doctored video by reading the comments. I was going to share it with you. I saved it until I read the comments. Okay. Oh, I liked this one.

Consensus on tongue inside vagina during oral sex. Oh, interesting. This was in sex sex people wanted to know just what the title says I've thought about actually putting my tongue inside my partner's vagina during oral not just licking around her vulva and clit but have been made wary of this because I saw someone on a different

subreddit say they hated it how do y'all feel any tips tricks of the trade if you do enjoy it please save the just ask her I will please save any just ask her I will so save any just ask her i will um so what what do we think about it noah i think it's hot i i definitely like tongue better than fingers i'll be honest about you like tongues inside your vagina better than how many times when they're going down on you or just like fingers at all ever both whoa i'm not a finger you're not a fingering gal i i don't mind

it but i i get too preoccupied with how much dirt is under the nails and what's going in there got it that makes sense totally checks out um i will say that the tongue inside it doesn't feel like good or it's like not enough pressure to be something for me at least that's good or bad it's just I like it because they it's just means they really like it and my biggest fear about getting my pussy eaten is left over from just all the stuff you heard about in my banging special about men talking bad about vaginas, they're gross. They smell roast beef. So for a guy to like want to stick his tongue up my vagina, I'm like,

he must love this so much. And then it makes me love it. It's not really the physical feeling as much as the psychological feeling really turns me on that. They're just like, wow, you're filthy. You want to like mute your tongue as a tampon. I don't know why I picture it not as a dick.

I take a picture. It like, just like you're going up, licking the canal. It's weird it's like if i it's like if i ate lasagna and there was leftover sauce on the plate so i lick you know i lick the plate and like that's what makes me really must have liked it putting my tongue in a pussy like i was really into the lasagna yeah yeah trying to get back in. Okay, so that's one. That's interesting, I thought. But the problem is it doesn't reach the G spot. It's just short enough where it doesn't really hit anything. And it's not hard enough.

Right. Yeah, so. It's just like a security blanket, like one of those warm blankets that make you feel comfortable. Yeah, it's a move that I just think it's so unnecessary that this guy must be doing it for himself and then i like that because he just he's down there because he likes it not because sometimes i don't really like getting my pussy eaten there's not enough pressure it's just like i want you up here talking to me like communicating with me holding my face kissing me

and so i kind of just miss you but if a guy's like just so into it that he just suddenly is like trying to like lick my ovary and like sticking tongue up, it's just something hot about that. Okay, this one is from ShittyLifeProTips, the subreddit ShittyLifeProTips. This is how to steal a Netflix account. And this is a tweet that someone stole. He said, my brother's ex had been stealing our Netflix for the past two months now by disguising her account as Settings. And honestly, I ain't even mad. I'm just really disappointed in myself for actually believing that an account named settings would legitimately be Netflix settings. So you know, on it goes like

Nikki, Andrew, and there's a little box you press of who she did a she did a thing that looked like almost like a thing loading, you know, when something's loading, a circle goes around and around. This is the settings thing she made. I love that. So smart. And it called it settings. And so no one thought anything of it, but that bitch.

To save nine bucks a month, she like. That's a good life pro tip. Shitty life pro tip. Oh, this is interesting. Today I learned. This is in Today I Learned. Today I learned that rats left unaided in water will drown in a few

minutes because they feel hopeless but if they know there is hope of being rescued they will last for days whoa and then someone commented today i learned that you can measure the hope of a drowning rat and by the way this is just scientists in another room watching rats drown like this is so like why do we what is a rat will there be watching rats drown. I mean, what is a rat? Will there be like a mini Coast Guard boat? Like how did a rat know? You know what I mean? Like what is there, a helicopter in the area?

Well, a person standing there or like something. Rats are so smart, you know. There's one in Ask Women that said, when you had a strong intuition about someone, when, they said this wrong. This is written by Andrew's brain. When you had a strong intuition about someone that turned out to be true, what was it?

Okay, here we go. And that's interesting. When did your intuition, like, pay off? Where you go, I don't like that person. That gives me the creeps. Oh. Dude, I had something absurd happen today, which was honestly all intuition you know

when like we were talking about this kind of yesterday it wasn't through my phone but a crazy person was walking towards me and brenna without his shirt on and he was yelling and we didn't know what he was yelling but he seemed very like very scary like and but for some reason we could walk to the other side of street but then you don't want to whatever but you don't want to make him think that you're running away from him because he's screaming crazy which is a normal so i had brenna get on my left side so i was in between him and her yeah and the closer we got he got right by us and i was like i was i seriously was ready for him to attack and he just started saying the most racist things ever and i I look at Brenna and I go, we're okay.

Like, I felt really bad for being relieved that this guy's hate wasn't towards me. I mean, Brenna is mixed in some way, right? She's mixed in some way, but like not in a way where this guy would have been. Yes. But it was just, I felt very bad. So my intuition was wrong. I was. When you saw a screaming crazy man that looked homeless. This person responded to this and said, my intuition is almost

never wrong, but I was too nice of a person and gave people chances. For instance, when I first met my ex, I didn't feel comfortable at all, and my spidey senses were on high alert. In fact, I was even physically attracted to him. I wasn't even physically attracted to him. I was talking to another guy before he showed up, but I kept thinking, just give him a chance. He hasn't done anything to you. That was a huge mistake. before he showed up, but I kept thinking, just give him a chance. He hasn't done anything to you.

That was a huge mistake. And he ended up being a manipulative, abusive piece of shit. Never again. So now whenever I get that uncomfortable feeling, I leave and I don't look back. Final thought, the book Gift of Fear by Gavin something or other. No, yeah. I don't want to be on the side of the street as that screaming man i'm gonna change lanes

um the yeah it's just about like when you have that sense just act on like just do but the thing is and i've talked about this before there are so many women that have probably been raped and murdered because they were they didn't want to cause a scene they didn't want to uh cross the street and make this person feel bad and and everyone i was talking to this the other day and they go you think so many rapes have happened and murders because of that i go yeah i do because there is something and it's not because the woman's dumb it's because we are conditioned to be polite and forgiving and we don't want to offend anyone and we don't want to stand up for ourselves because we might be wrong i mean well drink the story takes away your intuition i mean but yeah go ahead sorry go ahead do your story but i never

told this on this podcast but i went to go see a house or i went to go see an apartment in new york when i was looking for a place to live and my agent usually my real estate agent would usually go to these with me he couldn't go to this one he said just go there show up there's going to be a guy there waiting for you his name is jason i go to the building the doorman lets me in the elevator you have to like do a special key thing i get in the elevator the doorman turns his back and like goes to get a package or something do his work and while he's turning back the elevator doors are shutting and a guy comes in and just slips in the doors doesn't isn't seen by the doorman i can't alert the doorman in time it almost feels like i don't

even want to because that would be weird what What if this guy just lives here? Like sometimes I sneak in places and I'm just like, you know, I live here, right? You know? And so I let him in. We're going up in the elevator. I go, what floor? And he goes, oh, I'm going where you're going. And I was like, oh, all right. And I go, I'm looking at apartment. What are you doing? He was like, me too. And I go, oh. And he was like, are you here to see Jason he was like I don't I know I think it's like a different guy but um yeah and I was just like I go as soon as this elevator opens I am not going to go where I'm just going to stay in the hallway until this guy goes into a different building or different door and then I can go into the apartment the elevator opens up onto the apartment there is no hallway the elevator is the door to the apartment.

So I walk in, me and both this guy who's behind me in the elevator giving me the creeps. The real estate agent is in the apartment. And I go, hi, hi, are you Jason? And I'm like, I'm Nikki. I don't know who this is. And I'm mouthing to him like, I don't know who this is. And I go, who are you looking for? Said to the elevator guy, I go, who are you looking for?

And he goes, he's kind of, and I go, I go, well, that that's not him so i think you need to go and he goes okay okay well this is a nice place kind of looking around being weird i he presses the button for the down button the elevator comes up it goes ding it opens and then i see him go bye guys and i see him turn to leave that time then i i let my guard down and i turn back around to the real estate agent to go like that guy's fucking weird and then i hear i see him walking towards the elevator to get back on to say goodbye he said goodbye to us I turn my back because I'm like okay I guess I was alarmed for no reason he's leaving then I hear a door open and shut well why is there a door opening and shutting right behind me next to the elevator when this guy's getting on the elevator I turn back around

there is a door right next to the elevator that looks like a closet to me and I go oh my god in my mind this guy and then I go he's not in the elevator I see the elevator doors are closing still and there's no one in there that guy's in the closet he's hiding in the closet because we weren't both looking and he's gonna murder us because he now thinks that we think he's gone and so I go to the elevator to see if he's in there I realize he's not in the elevator I'm confirmed he's in the closet I jump into the elevator to see if he's in there. I realize he's not in the elevator. I'm confirmed he's in the closet. I jump into the elevator right before it closes,

literally right before and I yell to the real estate agent who is weirded out that I'm now running into an elevator when I just got there and he had no idea this guy was a creep. He just thought this guy had the wrong place.

And I go, I'm sorry. I think there's, I go, I'm sorry. I'm just really scared. I don't want to be murdered. I'm sorry. I think I think there's I go, I'm sorry. I'm just really scared. I don't want to be murdered. I'm sorry.

And it shuts. I have acted crazy because I think I'm about to be murdered. And everything in me is like, even if this isn't what I think it is, I still stand by this because I am not going to be one of these women who goes, I don't want to be an alarmist. I don't want to cause a scene because I don't want to get murdered because I was scared to cause a scene or be loud or be stupid or be foolish. And boy, was I ever, because the elevator went down to the lobby. I walk out of the building to call my realtor, to call that other guy and tell him what just happened to save him. And then I see the guy from the elevator walk onto the street.

He went out a exit. He didn't want to take the elevator, I guess. And he went in the door next elevator that was a exit to the street. And he went down the street and now he sees me seconds later after he left me in the building that i wanted to see and he goes why are you down here and i was just like and i just ran back in went up in the elevator the door opened to the real estate agent who was red-faced and like looked at me like what was that and i go dude i'm so sorry i thought i was going to be murdered he goes you left him here with me and i go i didn't know i heard the door slam i looked at the door i thought that was a closet he goes that's a means of egress and i go what he goes that's a means of egress and i go i don't know what that means he goes

it's a means of egress i go i understand what you're saying it doesn't make any sense we're yelling at each other and he goes it means an exit and i go no one knows that he goes yes they do and i go you know that because you're a real estate agent but i don't speak your jargon don't act don't like make me feel so then we started fighting about that because i was mad that he assumed i knew what means of egress was and then he kept showing me other means of egresses and i was walking around and i go dude i know you're gonna tell all your friends about this i'm such an idiot he knew who i was i was like tell everyone because i'm going to like i thought i was going to be murdered i just watched jeffrey dahmer i saw how he would get his victims

to like they would be scared and then they would kind of give in because they're like i just want to be nice to this guy i know this is weird but like he actually needs his help he's probably not a murderer and then they get murdered so i was like i go i'm not even apologizing for my behavior i thought i was going to be murdered i'm. And I really thought that he would murder you because I think he wanted, Oh, like I, I feel like it was going to be a rape murder and you would have been a casualty, but alone, he probably would have done anything to you. Like you would have been fine.

How did the guy get in the elevator to begin or the building? Was there no doorman? He snuck in when I, the doorman let me in and the doorman turned around to go get a package in the other room. And this guy slid in before the doors had shut and slid in just before and goes i'm going where you're going and so i definitely thought he was a murderer and then we're seeing the apartment the apartment is great good price great neighborhood and i go i can't live here because i genuinely thought i

was going to be murdered and i can't i have the bsd and then we um yeah and then i left and and that was but that for you though seriously of like. Good for you, though. Seriously. Honestly. Like, yeah, you could be called a crazy, but you're a live crazy person. Like. And there are women that have, so many women, we will never know the true story because they get murdered, and we don't hear the truth.

But they just, they probably didn't feel safe, and they were scared to make a scene. And that's not their fault. Society conditions us to be that way. But please, when you feel fear, cross the street. Don oh they're gonna think i'm racist if you feel insane even black people aren't the only people that are gonna hurt you it is profiling away but if you see a black guy that is like scaring you because of the way he's screaming or walking or shirts off and his hair's white you know like erratic and cussing. You can cross the street. That's not a racist decision. You are just feeling whatever

it is. It's a behavioral decision. Yeah, and it's whether white or black, that guy, you would cross the street. Because he's black, you're going to stand on the same side because you don't want him to think you're racist. I mean, that happens sometimes. Look at Noah writing down rap. I thought she was calling back to the name of the... Oh my god, she wrote down the... Yeah, so Noah's writing down rap

and I don't know what that is. It's I guess a publication. She wants us to get back to that story. We're too old for this podcast apparently. Feel free to write me and tell me I'm wrong about the racial profiling thing

but I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. By the way, I'm not an expert at any of this. I'm just trying to be a good person and protect people and I love you all. Thank you for listening.

We'll see you tomorrow on the podcast. We got to go. Bye Andrew. Noah's here. I'm not going to say goodbye to her. Thank you for listening. We'll see you tomorrow on the podcast. We got to go. Bye, Andrew. Noah's here. I'm not going to say goodbye to her. Thank you for listening. Bye, guys.

Have fun out there. And don't be cute. Jack Free Time. He's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and

Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts,

me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated.

We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rappaport, or wherever you get your podcasts. as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.