The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #81 It's Been A While...

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Between you and Nikki, everyone has a dating history and it's ok to see it on social media. Nikki lets Andrew in on the chain she has going with her closest girlfriends and their latest inside joke. You Heard it Here First, Andrew crushes the headlines with his personal story that is out of this world. They cover their Top1 Bottom1 "touches" and in the Final Thought Nikki and Andrew share their last words. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape

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Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, you guys. I'm Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet.

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Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Yeah. Opening up my ZVR. Getting ready for the pod. It's Monday.

How's it going out there, everyone? Welcome to the Nikki Glaser podcast. Having a great day so far. I hope you are too. We are going to have such a good show for you today. I feel it in my bones. Welcome to the show. If it's the first time listening, welcome. There's lots of inside jokes you'll catch on soon. We love having you. We always invite new people to listen if you're a returning uh bestie that's what we call you uh welcome back to the show i thought about you guys a lot this weekend and i journaled about you and i just love i just love people that listen to this podcast it brings me immense immense joy. And I feel very close to you. So thank you for listening.

Noah is here today. Hello, Noah. Hi, Nikki. Noah is in Arizona. She's the producer of my show. I don't know why I wanted to like reset today and just bring anyone in who might be new because I feel like we've been kind of disregarding that. And I want to just keep it so like you're a professional table that always lets in new

people. Yes. In the cafeteria like we sometimes i can be a bitch and like be the bitchy girl that's like don't sit with us but like that is not today i want you to sit with us welcome in and as always you can drop in and out of the show this is like a morning radio show you you don't need to like listen to every single one but i love people that do noah starting off show today, we were talking a little bit before we got started and you were like, F-boy island.

You are now a fan of the show. You've let it in your heart. You wanna know things. I have a lot of people reaching out to me. I mean, I have had the same phone number for, I guess since high school. I'm not even joking you. And there are people that have got my number back in college since high school, I'm not even joking you. And there are people that have got my number back in college and high school, which has now been 20 years ago,

you know, for people from my past reaching out because of FBoy Island, like everyone has reached out to me. I'm getting random numbers, just like, what are your thoughts or just people, my lawyer sent me a huge thing about like all of his I mean my lawyer Lev Ginsberg who is not FBoy Island's probably like prime like target he's obsessed and he's got his family into it and he said that his his wife was mad because he let his kids watch it and his kids are young I I think his daughter is like 10 or something. I'm

like, she's too young for it. Her name is Shira. I love that name more than anything. But he was like, his wife was mad because they put it on and right out of the gate. There was probably a calm on your face joke. And then he said that the kids have started chanting F boy Island and they want more. And so she gave in, uh, it was really funny. So, um, what do you want to know? Noah? I I'm, I'm actually, I don't like when people reach out to me about it because it feels like I just can't tell you things. I actually do. I just heart it though. I just don't have time to get back to all of you. So all the DMS I'm getting from besties, I see them all. If I heart them, I like them. Sometimes I really want to reply, but I'm like, I can't. Um, so just know that I, um, I like them. Sometimes I really want to reply, but I'm like, I can't.

So just know that I probably read your thing unless it's a giant thing of text, in which case I sometimes don't have time to read it, but I do skim it. Okay, what do you want to know, Noah? All right, so when I was watching it last night or binging, I was wondering because I don't know how – What episode are you on? Oh, I'm up to date. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I'm not even up to date.

I only just took down four last night. how what episode are you on oh i'm i'm up to date are you kidding me i'm not even up to date i only just took down four last night i mean it's a lot for me to watch because i have so many insecurities about my own performance and then i forget that i'm even on the show and i get wrapped up in it and then i come back on and i go oh god but um okay so tell me okay i don't think i'll be giving away anything major in this but the girls get access to the guy's Instagram accounts. Yes. And they look through it. And I was wondering, if you were dating a guy and you went to his Instagram page and you saw photos from like a previous relationship, I want to know if

that would be a deal breaker. Okay. Are they together anymore? They're not together. I know we're talking about Garrett because Garrett, it's in question whether or not he is still with his girlfriend

that he claims was an ex. They broke up. It's all very shady and you've got to watch to understand. I'm up to four, so that's where I'm at at four, but I think it gets more resolved.

Episode four is my favorite episode so far of the season. It's the best it's so good. Okay what I love this question no you know what I think is weird is when I mean it's a good way to know if someone is in a relationship because all of a sudden there's like no history that a girl was ever in their life if you go through their instagram you know like if you're dating someone new you go back and there's just like nothing i don't have a problem with it if it's over if the relationship is over and they kept like memories where there's like pictures of them kiss maybe not kissing but like memories of them like at a wedding together like posing in a pretty setting like i don't i really don't have an issue with men having loved someone before,

maybe in a different way that they can love me maybe. And I'm just maybe not deeper. I don't want to say that. Like, I hope that the person I end up with loves me the most of anyone they've ever loved. That's the goal. But if it's a different kind of love, I can be okay with that. I can just, like, I can be okay with that. I don't understand why. I don't want someone to be in love with someone while I'm dating them. I don't want that emotional thing. As you guys know, like, I don't care if a guy I am dating were to be on a boy's trip and, like, hook up with a girl, like, foreign land like austin texas or vegas but i don't i don't want them to have an emotional connection yes there would be something about it

that makes me jealous but hearing about like a love before me but to completely eternal sunshine some your partner's life i know that I don't expect my partner to like hear everything about my past, but it is something for me that I'm realizing I don't like when men can't handle that I have a past. I can't, it's just much like, you know, I want to be okay with it because most men do not want to know Andrew's one of them he doesn't want to hear about your past boyfriends if he's dating you he doesn't want to know that you hooked up with anyone he wants to like in his mind create this kind of virginal person which he knows isn't true like obviously but um he doesn't want to know details and I feel like every man I've ever

dated doesn't want to know details of the past and i'm horny for details of the past because that girl's gone um because i had her killed did i just say that um i mean she died tragically in like a way that they still don't understand like she was just like taking a picture on a ledge and like oh strong wind shoved her off violently but um i a strong wind with blonde hair in a, wearing all black. But anyway, I, yeah, I don't care. Would you? I bet you would. It used to really bother me. I don't, like with Avi, I think it was maybe like eight months before I looked at his Instagram page. Whoa. I'd love for a guy to not have an Instagram page. Oh, I'm being completely honest. Like no Twitter, no Instagram, you know, unless that's part of their like profession.

I read on Reddit the other day, someone wrote girls who don't, it was in like an ask women subreddit. And it was like women who don't post their social lives on social media. Why? And all these women were just like, I don't know their social lives on social media. Why? And all these women were just like, I don't know. My private life is my private life and I just don't want to. And I was just like, that's cool. I mean, I'm going to do that eventually. I'm definitely going to Taylor Swift my next relationship. I'm not going to blab about it all the time and try to keep it like special.

I don't know if I'll be able to do it but um i do i do like i don't i don't know there's a part of me noah so badly that wants to not be famous and not be a person that people recognize like i think i would start an asmr channel if i was someone that could be anonymous i think i would i would definitely um start at like guitar, like a YouTube of like, you know, I'm learning guitar. Here are songs I'm putting out. But the fact that people know who I am and I could be recognizable on it prevents me from doing it. You're a celebrity and you can't get out of here. I get it.

I asked for this. And I could, yesterday I was practicing guitar. I just felt so lame, like, trying to be, like, singing like this. Like, trying to sound so, like, soulful. Like, it's so embarrassing. So I'm learning this flume song. Do you know that flume song that's, like, it's called Never Be Like You? Never be like you.

What would I do if I could change this fickle minded heart? It's like a beautiful song about like being someone who can't accept love and it's called, it's by Flume and it's Never Be Like You is the name of the song. And I love it. And my voice is too husky to sing it at the right key.

So I've modified it to like be low. And I was like really impressing myself with how I could be like what would I do if I could change like I was being like like growly and like really sounding like jazzy Jeff no no I was really sounding like very Etta James like like jazz club and I was like oh my god I gotta create a character because if I'm able to do a character I can do anything um so what were we talking about oh yeah would I get jealous oh god I have so much to say on that I was really talking about it a lot this weekend with Emil and Emil Joaquim who uh is going to be a part of my tour now my stand-up tour because he did a guest set over

the weekend in Atlantic City and was just so fun to have with us. We wrote so many jokes together with me, Andrew and Emil. We were just like, this is great. But we were at dinner talking about all of this. And, and then my Uber driver on the way home from St. Louis was talking about it because she was, she had heard of FBoy Island. We got in the car in St. Louis and she was like, how was your trip guys? And I'm just kind of like, good. We're just so tired. We got in from Atlantic City. I woke and she was like, how was your trip, guys? And I'm just kind of like, good. We're just so tired. We got in from Atlantic City. I woke up, you know, we flew into Atlantic City, got to, drove an hour from Philadelphia, got to the casino.

Two hours later, we're doing the show, did the show, hung out, went to bed, woke up three hours later, got in the limo again, took a flight. Like it was just a fucking whirlwind. I got in the Uber. I just didn't want to talk just a fucking whirlwind i got in the uber i just didn't want to talk but this girl was like really chatty and so nice and the first thing she said was did you guys uh were you on a reality show and i was like what and she was i go we both andrew and i looked at each other like um not this time we kind of laughed and she was like yeah i just picked up someone yesterday that was on a reality show um they were all filming some discovery channel show and i was

like i'm actually the host of a reality show that i think you should watch called f boy island and then we got talking about it and about um like why you go for f boys who uh like because i i go for f boys i'm attracted to f boys i'm attracted to men who can't love me it's not about i like i like them necessarily i just sense that they can't fully love me because i don't and that's why i like that flume song it's like what would i do if i could to take away this fear of being loved allegiance to the pain now i up and i'm missing you i'll never be like you so obviously this girl like cheated on her boyfriend or like did something to push him away because she's

scared of being loved and I like really relate to that and I don't know why I'm afraid of being loved because it's seemingly all I want anyway we were talking about it with this woman and I was we were just getting on this the thing about cheating and monogamy and if it's natural. And I just, I just been talking about it with Emil and Andrew. I just don't understand why women and men too have to be in denial about the fact that the person they choose to be with is still going to be sexually attracted to other people. It's just you cannot deny it and if you do you deny that they're a human being like an animal with like

you you can be in denial of it but it's not going to serve you to be in denial like you should see your partner for what they are and it's like a human being that can't help the way they are wired which is to things things or be fucked by things, people, men, women. And when you get married, that doesn't go away. You don't get your brain operated on and have that part of your brain frozen. If you could, surely women would have men go through these treatments. And men would probably go through those treatments so that they didn't have to be with them and like support them and save them during a crisis and like be their partner.

There's freedom there. And if your partner has a crush on someone else at work or like develops feelings for someone else while you're together, if you have an open dialogue about the fact that we're both going to still be attracted to people and it's going to happen in the course of our relationship, because especially when we go through periods where we don't like each other, we're resenting each other because we're, you know, one of us is distracted with work or one of us is distracted with a mental illness or an addiction and then the other person feels neglected, they're going

to develop a crush on someone. Now, if you are in a place in your relationship where you cannot be open and communicate and act like you are human with thoughts and desires, possibly for other people, it's going to lead to you cheating. Whereas instead, I know it's very hard to do. Think of how hard it is to tell someone you cheated on them, which is what you're going to have to do eventually.

They're going to find out, or you're just going to live a lie the rest of your life, which is like the worst thing. Either you wait for that down the road, or you get ahead of it the second you have a crush and you tell your partner, which is very hard to do. I have a crush on someone. I'm feeling sexual desires and emotional desires for someone. I don't want this to ruin us. What do we do? And as hard as that would be, and as much as you might think the person you're with would reject you, if they do reject you before you've done anything with that, and they reject you because

you had a feeling you couldn't help that you didn't act on, then you shouldn't be with them. They should be understanding enough that they know it's going to hurt their feelings. They should be able to handle that and appreciate that you came to them with that. But when we live in this world of denial, where we get married and we just act like our husbands aren't going to want to fuck other things, and we're not going to want to get fucked by other things, we're living a lie. And I think that lies and dishonesty are, I know for me, everything is related to me lying. Everything. I had to lie recently for some stuff and

it has been terrible. It's why I went into a depression last week. It's why I felt, literally, it's why I felt fat last week. Listen to me when I say that. I felt fat and stained. Remember when I said I was stained? I'm a stained person. I'm ugly. I mean, I was having all the thoughts that you have when you are sick in the mind, but you actually are like, no, I'm seeing things clearly. I'm old. My skin is pasty. My hair's dry and breaking. It's falling out. I'm fat, blah, blah, blah. All these thoughts directly related to the fact that I had to lie last week. And I had to do a lot of work to get there.

But I realized that if I stay honest about everything, not everything, you don't need to be rude to people and tell them, you know,, when I lie, I end up feeling ugly. It's such an interesting thing to be able to trace a line directly. I feel like Charlie Day in that one meme from Always Sunny with all the lines on the board, lie to me feeling like I'm ugly or or fat or in just being which is a symptom of depression and what makes me feel depressed is being dishonest with myself and with others and oh my God I gotta get to the stained thing I'm gonna do it so I'm gonna bring Andrew in because there's a whole thing I want to go into if you didn't listen to the podcast last week I was in a funk I would just skip it but I did do an episode in which I was talking about feeling like a stained person like I just feel like every all my

clothes are gross like even if I have new nice things I wear it once and it will just be soiled in some way that it may be not even like actually like I'll spill something on it. It'll be clean, but it'll still smell weird or just the fabric will change because I touched it, you know. And these are all I don't feel that way today. In fact, I'm sitting next to my Bissell carpet cleaner, which I just used to get up the coffee stain. Look at the coffee color. Oh, my God. It's spilling shit.

Listen, I even spill the Bissell cleaner. That's how much I spill things. But I'm not a sane person. And we'll get to that in a second and elaborate with Andrew. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending,

or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox,

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We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, Thank you. your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people. What's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements,

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He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Andrew. Hello. Hello, Nikki. Hello.

You just said that Noah looks European. Yeah, I mean, any time a person's wearing a soccer jersey, I just assume they're from, like, Spain or France. Yeah, I mean, is that a soccer jersey? I'm just wearing an Adidas shirt with three stripes on the shoulders that Nikki gave me, like, two years ago. Yeah, it's like a ringer tee, white, with black stripes on the top, and it's so freaking cute

god why did i give give that to you i want it back next time we're hanging out you have to give that back to me i have a stain on it and i can send it back to you if you want does it really have a stain on it yeah is it for me no no it's for me it's an oil stain for me oh good okay good well look at your stain too andrew i just i didn't get to talk to them about the stain stuff that i shared with you this morning okay like do you ever feel like a sane person yeah all the time i'm like that's like one of the things i'm known for by a lot of my friends it's just always having i always have brenna says i always have one stain and we miss

her so much God I miss her she yeah you always you always have one stain I if I I like white t-shirts they last 35 minutes before I look like a pig you do laundry so infrequently that you I think and you even admitted for a while you were so depressed in your life at some point that you would just buy new clothes you wouldn't um wash them yeah i'd buy new clothes i'd flip the mattress if uh or i would maybe flip the sheets you know anything to keep me as lazy as possible yes um but yeah i i always have a stain it's always usually tomato sauce based, coffee based. I can't get it out, which is, it's always, you know, people say, oh, you just got to take oil and vinegar or whatever to get it out. Rubbing alcohol, dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, no, you're right.

There's always a bunch of, I was talking about this last week, remedies or like things, but then you have to go buy those things and do them and do like an arts and crafts project and i just don't want to do it i'd rather just why don't we make something with all that stuff in it like a three for one pens are amazing i have to say if you could carry one of those on you but tide pens are actually great um so i was talking last week about feeling stained and we have a chain going with all the girls that went to tulum which is my best friends from high school kirsten taylor sarah lena my one of my best friends from new york um noah of course carl alforster comedian and um robin my makeup and uh hair person on uh f boy island which by the way

she killed it like i've never looked, anytime you, you look at FBoy Island, anytime I've watched it and gone, what the fuck? Look at my makeup. It's because I did it myself when she was out of the room and she was just like, Nikki, your brows are, there's a shot of me where my brows, I look like a drag queen. It is so insane. It's the still image for the fourth episode. If you to f hbo max you guys my brows are so awful please do not like send me a picture or anything i know you don't need to write me and go i know they're really bad i know just go look at it um but she she really killed it and i'm excited to have her in my life if she sucked at makeup and hair it would suck to like try to like have to tell her i don't want her to do stuff but she's she's my go-to

um now even though she lives in the caymans anyway so we are on a whatsapp uh group message thing which i love whatsapp compared to texting because it lets you know how many unread messages you have it keeps everything it's just i know i'm late to the game on whatsapp but i also love that it's a separate app that is just for that conversation. So my texts are mainly for work and other people. And then WhatsApp is just for this really fun chain of connection and vulnerability. And we're all just so kind to each other and make each other laugh. Honestly, Kirsten is the funniest person I think I'll ever know.

And I just told her today that I'm so glad you don't want to be famous because you could be and it would like and everyone would realize that you I steal I steal my your essence and that's I'm just well it's not I've become other people since I've mixed a bunch of people's essences to make my own and now i'm kind of finding my own but kirsten is so funny so carlisle started this off by hearing the podcast on um sorry one second when uh carlisle heard the podcast the other day where i was talking about feeling stained and she wrote to all of us um or she did a voice memo to all of us and i just want to play it because it made me laugh so hard and it led to so many funny things that i just want to share with these people

okay so this is carlisle um i'm gonna do it at two times or 1.5 times the speed that's the other thing i love about whatsapp is the voice memos you can speed them up here we go i'm so glad you don't feel like an imposter anymore i was listening to the podcast the other day and you were talking about being a stained person And I think this is something this group would enjoy Does anybody remember the 90s band Stained? Okay, I'm gonna refresh your memory They sang this song that was like

It's been a while since I could see you There was a dick dead Or something like that Does anybody remember this? It's stained I kept thinking about when you were saying you're a stained person Like you're a real stained person Okay, so she's calling me a stained head

Because like when I was a stained person she was thinking that i was like a fan of stained and if you don't know the bed in the stained it is that band that sings and everything i can't remember it was on the radio all the time around like 2008 2009. noah are you a stained fan i'm not a i never got into stained but i know, but I know the band and stuff. He was very sweaty, very passionate. Aaron Lewis is his name. What is his name?

You know his name? Yeah, Aaron Lewis. Whoa, that is not what you would think the name. He's also Uncle Cracker, which not many people know. No. Yep, same guy, yeah. No, that's not true. But I bet you someone would have believed

it if we just kept it that is so funny or or like Sean Mullins remember though I grew up with the rodeo and the Boulevard the guy that's like and everyone was there it was buddy Holly and Sonny and Cher and it was like everything's gonna be all right these one-hit wonders from like the late 90s early 2000s nashville with the tan yes yes yeah yeah yeah that's what we always say we always reference sean mullins where's he at he's killing it at a cracker barrel so then kirsten goes into singing stained lyric like now we've taken the stained it's been a while format and now we are going to make it an inside joke and i want i want to bring the besties in on this because it's so fun to just do it's been a while and that's what we're gonna so here's kirsten sending voice memos yeah you'll

want to after we get through this okay so this is kirsten okay so this is kirsten's i'm gonna play it at 1.5 the speed last time i played carlos at two point times the speed here we go it's been a while since i've gone up just like i've always done it's been a while in my head that sounds exactly like sing am i right um it does sound exactly like it i want to play it again at the right speed because she actually nails the impression. It's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I've always done. Okay. It's so good. Now I'm going to beef up the speed because then she gets into making jokes about it.

It's been a while. In my head, that sounds exactly like Saint. Am I right? But everything disappears when I'm with you I'm walking down the street my neighborhood can you imagine like seeing like a housewife singing it's been a while okay next story about the guy oh wait hold on okay so now Carlisle is going to get back in on the party yes that is the one and I think this needs to be the song that

we like seeing anytime anybody feels like an imposter to make yourself laugh and you can just be like it's been a while since i spilled a whole coffee on my carpet it's been a while since i cleaned my house now curse it since i put on mascara I'm looking like a man It's been a while Since I cooked a proper meal It's take out in my hand It's been a while Since I cooked a proper meal

It's take out in my hand I am dying It's been a while It's so fun to do that. And everyone can hit that note. Yeah, it's just a strain. It's not too difficult. How does that song start?

I feel like it starts like really like, I don't know. I know how it ends. It ends mysteriously. At the very end, it goes, since I first saw you. And then it's like, Z-107 bringing all the hits on a summer hot day. We got Kayo coming up with Kiss Me Through the Phone. It reminds me so much of those summer DJs. I just want to hear how it starts.

How did it start? Wait, so now let me just say that Taylor gets on the chain. And she is showing us a tour of her house. And she is talking about how she is one of Taylor's hobbies. She's a very interesting person, is collecting bugs. Okay, are you getting it ready? I'm listening. I'm listening.

Oh. I guess it just starts right. It's been a while. That's not just before. Wait, let's see. It's been a while that's not just wait let's see it's been a while hold my head up high oh it's coming back to my brow ring I love this song okay okay so great song then on chain. It's been a while since I did laundry. Separating the colors and whites. It's been a while since I addressed one of the piles in the four corners of my room.

And it's been a while since I brushed my teeth or went to the dentist. And it's been a while. I just got a shower caddy. You did get a shower caddy. It hasn't been a while since my toothbrush been on the floor of my shower. It hasn't been a while since the longest pube you've ever seen touched the back of the brush. Dude, I filmed his shower the other day that was vulnerable vulnerable i mean everything about that was vulnerable you were really vulnerable in that video we showed your room which was a nightmare and i just talked about cleaning it

two days yeah you were really you were really cocky but what happened there what happened between you being like i'm i'm doing it i'm going to clean? Because, listen, we all relate to having a plan. It was like after you clean up all the rubble of war, and then they're like, we got one more bomb for you. So I cleaned up a good amount, and then somehow within two days, another bomb went off. I don't even know how it happens. Yeah.

But anyway. I'm the same way. Yeah, so for those of you who might not have seen our Instagram story, which you can't miss stuff that we post on Instagram because when we do, it's so vulnerable and funny. Nikki Glazer pod, just you got to request access because it's private because we do put stuff out there that's vulnerable. And so the other day, Andrew, what was I going in there to film in the first place? Oh, I know.

Because you had gotten a shower caddy so that your toothbrush wouldn't be on the floor of Flower Shore. Yeah, Flower Shore. And you got a caddy. In the picture on Amazon, the caddy had been filled with things. There's shampoo. There's conditioner. There is a cup that has like a thing in it, but not even a toothbrush on the thing. But he thought all of those things would come in the caddy.

Instead, it just was the caddy. Yes. Yes. It was false advertising. No, it wasn't. I got bamboozled. No one thinks. I got bamboozled, I tell you.

When you buy a shirt, do you think the man is coming? Yes. The man is wearing the shirt? I'm always mad when he's not in the package. Okay. the man is coming yes wearing the shirt i'm always mad when he's not in the package okay well it was hilarious because then i realized i had bought you weeks ago when the the the toothbrush thing came up i had bought you two toothbrush holders and tons of toothbrushes to fill to so they'd be everywhere i didn't know this this was so nice of you well not because i wanted you i want you to have better oral hygiene because i want you to have, like, it's really important for your health to take care of your teeth.

And I actually am, like, legitimately worried about you, but not in a way that I'm like, I just want you to, because I know that when you brush. This really makes me sound like a dirty man. I do brush my teeth. But only when you shower, you said. Yeah, but I shower twice a day. Sometimes you don't, though. If you skip a day, then you skip a day of brushing. So I just wanted brushes to be everywhere in your life i even have those floss things now

that's good i think people think my mouth is a goddamn dumpster fire and it kind of is but it's not always on fire how long has it been since you've been to the dentist they're still around i mean the i'm guessing the one that you have gone to before died. Yeah, he died. From, you know, how hard he worked that day. He died of exhaustion. Well, I told this story. I've never told it on the pod, but I went in to the dentist, and the guy goes, so how long have you been a smoker? And I go, because how many years have you smoked?

I go, I've never smoked a cigarette. He goes, and he just looks at my mouth. He goes, interesting. Whoa, dude. Oh, my God. He's like, how long have you been eating dog shit? And I'm like, never. Never.

Never assume. I mean, that's like the pregnancy of mouth. Yeah. Like, when are you due? Yeah. So, real quick, I just want to finish the same thing. Talk about my teeth. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. No, your teeth look fine, actually. It's just like they can look fine, but I know that there's stuff. There's gum stuff. Yeah, and I come from a family where teeth get lost out of the mouth. Yeah, my grandpa Henry. Yeah, my grandpa Henry had all fakes on the bottom.

Yeah, you might just get veneers i don't know why you wouldn't do that if i got veneers i'd get even worse veneers than i got and then i go haha but i got better teeth underneath you would buy veneers thinking that the the i'm trying to think of like the shower caddy thing but again there's nothing really that comes with veneers that i'm trying to think of well they could show maybe stains on them and i'll be like oh they come with this thing no they don't show stains veneers look really good now though like they look you don't really know when people have them a lot of times unless you go too big shaved down but then you just get smaller ones put in it's like a complete bald guy getting a wig too late i don't mind it just get a bald get just get a wig okay just I think that's

okay when people you know people think that you have to like slowly get your hair to come back like or or have face work done in a slow way just say I had face work done just say I'm wearing a toupee like if people ask and and if you're honest it it sets you free. So let me just say this one thing. So Taylor starts to share about her life. And Taylor is very interesting. She's into like anthropology and collecting bugs and her OCD and her like whatever. She's like a very smart person that likes to like make maps. Like she actually likes to do cartography.

So she is mapping out a reservoir that no maps have any, she lives in Woodstock, New York, and there's no maps of this reservoir that she lives near. And so she's mapping it out and she went to the library and went through microfiche and found all these printouts. She wrote down all these people's numbers to call them about like the history of this reservoir. Very interesting person. And, um, showing us all of her hobbies around her house she collects old bottles like she's always looking for artifacts she's just so interesting so um then we so kirsten makes a it's been a while about taylor's interests here we go since i even knew what the reservoir really is i'm gonna look it up on w Wikipedia. I think it's a body of water

or something like that. Your whole video, Taylor, just made me feel like such a basic bitch. I'm sitting here reading a novel from Reese's Witherspoon Book Club, yeah. Yeah!

And it's true. It made us feel like such basic bitches. and then i was laughing so hard at all of this i was at whole foods cracking up about um it's been a while and um so then i sent this one let me see It's been a while since I have laughed in public that fucking hard. It's been a while, but I was in line at Whole Foods. And everyone was looking at me. They were mad I was having fun. I am so impressed by your house, Taylor,

that you do things that I think are boring for fun. Darn, darn, darn, you're so cute. It's so fun to do. It's been a while so i i just want to encourage everyone to do it carlisle then made a photoshop of me wearing a stained shirt that i'm going to post on the instagram today um but let's get to the hobby like that like i love a hot i would never have a hobby like thank god people have hobbies like that or this world would not be we We wouldn't have found. Yeah. Amerigo Vespucci found America. It's looking. Well, I'm always interested in old school maps when they had to put down a nail or something

and then walk with a string like two miles and then figure out the topography without being able to see it from above. It's fucking wild. It's wild. Thank God people are still interested in that stuff even though we have TikTok. Let's get to the news. And Google Maps. Yeah. You heard it here first. You heard it's wild. Thank God people are still interested in that stuff. Even though we have tick tock, let's get to the news and Google maps. Yeah. I'm sure it is. She has a flip phone.

Taylor has a flip phone. She's one of these people that wants to be off the grid, even though she likes to grid charts and wants to write on grids. Oh man. The news is here, everybody. And we had a great weekend. you did too i hope you had all the swells and i'm talking all of them i'm sorry that you're asking your ssdj right now

acting like a bbd but hey let's oh not a bbd a ddb a dumb dumb bitch yeah a lot of people didn't know what that one was on the instagram yeah yeah someone made a thing of all of our inside jokes ddb is a dumb dumb and that can be a guy or a girl it's not um misogynistic or misogynist and then uh ssdj is soul sucking desk job okay let's what's the first story okay i'm sorry but right now it's not coming up the email is this my sent email okay here it is maybe we keep this because it's kind of funny okay all right first headline it's been a while since we started the news segment it's been a while we might not get to it because our wi-fi is delayed here we go so um a woman was found swimming inside a 70 foot

tall water tank filled with 350 000 gallons of water she was found swimming so she climbed this water tank oh this is like Hotel Cecil yeah like the Cecil Hotel yeah but this girl was alive she was found they saw her client a cop saw her climbing up this 70 foot tank she just tried to take a little swimmy because the the latch was open i don't know how she knew the latch was open someone was painting it so is this like a tank that's next to a reservoir like it's like for water stuff yes it's for it's a water water in alabama yeah okay and she wanted to go swimming i'm guessing this woman was on something like a raft or something she bring a pool floating she was

just she was swimming in there she was just doing laps she wanted to the why was closed i kind of get it what what first of all you don't know inside that tank it's going to be clean water do tanks have that say like this isn't poop on them no i would just figure any tank could have feces dude one time i was at camp at band camp it's been a while since i've been at camp and uh we picked up a rock and a guy fell into the sewer and he was neck up and poop oh god it was the most wild thing i've ever seen and then he came out and he was in such shock he just started running around the camp with poop all over him so that's so sad that um i'm guessing he's dead now yeah he died i mean that is so i mean swimming in poop but you get that why this

woman would want to go swimming in this tank there's something refreshing about it especially if you're homeless and you haven't taken a shower in a while a dark tank that you flip the lid on or was it like open air was it like an above ground pool that's 70 feet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a massive above ground pool. But there's something about swimming in water that's very deep that is like scary yet also refreshing. Yeah. What do you mean refreshing?

I don't know. There's something about buoyancy and like not knowing where the bottom is. I don't know. Have you ever swam in an ocean that's very deep? I think that's everyone's biggest fear is that you can't see the bottom and what lurks beneath i mean i got scared of the lines on the pool as a kid i'm not gonna like when i can't see anything on the bottom yeah but you've swam with whales in the open ocean i do like swimming with whales and i don't mind if i see sharks and i can jump i'll i went swimming with sharks i jumped in because the people on this yacht that

are like ran this yacht, these like crew were like, oh yeah, you can swim with those. They're fine. And I just jumped in without any, like any other kind of like Googling the type of shark, making sure I just jumped in because I could see them and I was told they were okay. And you trusted these people. But I don't want to, I'm scared, more scared of riptides. Okay.

So you're more afraid of a riptide than getting your skin ripped by a shark yeah now why okay i get drowning is a little that's scary right just being sucked out to sea and not being able to yeah drowning freaks me out but i don't really think about the drowning part i just i mean obviously that's the end of it but it's more the unknown like riptides you just like can't see them they just come out of nowhere and i know that you're I mean, obviously, that's the end of it, but it's more the unknown. Like, reptiles, you just, like, can't see them. They just come out of nowhere, and I know that you're supposed to swim parallel with the shore, but I just don't know in that moment I'll remember that tactic.

So you would rather know the boogeyman's under the bed and see the boogeyman and see how scary the boogeyman is and then be cool with the boogeyman than not knowing at all that the boogeyman is there. No, I mean, what you don't know is scarier than what you do know. is and then be cool with the boogeyman then not knowing at all that the boogeyman is there no i mean i mean what what you don't know is scarier than what you do know i think yeah i don't i don't feel that way when i'm surfing i don't want to know what's underneath the water i just assume there's nothing really there brings us back to what we were talking about before when you are in a relationship you don't want to ever hear about uh ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriends yeah you want to go swimming without knowing the thing you know that there's been exes but you're in denial of it you

you're it's called denial and living in denial is bad for you I believe not I I think there's probably a again like a nice balance of of knowing about their exes and knowing about their past relationships where you don't need to know everything but not being in complete denial about it i don't think you should want to be like so what exactly did his dick look like or what exactly did you know he do that made you laugh like i don't prefer to never know about it if you could you only say i would i'll know about it because you just you don't I had a dream last night that Brenna cheated and I was like really upset yeah it really hurt my feelings but she didn't like hook it was weird we were at a party with new people and she just like went off without me I was like looking

for her and then she wasn't answering my text and I saw her Instagram story and she was with a guy that like seemed really cool oh no but they weren't jealous but you weren't hanging out with him yeah you love a cool guy yeah dude he was jacked and looked real hot real vain looks like you he could help you with your swing yeah um yeah that's that's something have you ever dreamed of about someone cheating on you and how does that make you feel no i don't think i've dreamed of that i've just dreamed of people um being mad at me or um just being really cruel to me that's what i have a dream about a lot is like my family and my um friends or like people that i think love me doing something that i can never i guess cheating on me emotionally in terms of like i thought i trusted you to not talk to me like that or treat me like that,

but not cheating. No, I don't have that fear. Yeah. I usually don't have that fear and I really don't have the fear consciously with Brenna. Like I don't, I really do think she'd be loyal or whatever.

I'll psychoanalyze this off Mike, but I think what we're dealing with is something else than what dreams often present, not literally what you're scared of, but something else. Next story. All right. A lot of people have dreams of their teeth falling out. Do you ever have that?

Do you have dreams of your teeth staying in? I have dreams of moving on. Of my back teeth coming back and being and never hurting oh andrew go to the dentist you go i i will i mean i've been in you gotta go to the vagina doctor i know well i've been to one of those in the past year and a half it's just been a year and a half any teeth in there dude i know a girl that had a tooth in her stomach yeah it can happen wild yeah all right after recovering from a heart attack that's how you get a tooth in your stomach well she probably slept in my bed

she thought it was a piece of popcorn okay go on do you get a tooth fairy when your adult teeth fall out come on i'll give you some money how much if i lose a tooth or go to the dead i've got some cam and coins that i can some shekels i can throw under your your stained pillow if you pay me 100 grand a tooth your boy will be gummy yes okay after recovering from a heart attack on set bob odenkirk uh tweets i am doing great i've had my very own it's a wonderful life week of people insisting i make the world slightly better oh thank you i love everyone right now but let's keep expectations reasonable yeah he he got that out pouring that you get when you almost when you die you know trevor more comedian trevor more from whitest kids you know um died over the

weekend in an accident no details yet even though i'm morbidly curious of what happened not gonna ask the people that i know probably know but i didn't know him um he's a father and a husband and just beloved by anyone who knew him and i was watching all his clips this week and he was hilarious and i was just thinking like god i wish he could see what people are saying on reddit like people i i was watching as people his fans were finding out on reddit and like the comments coming in and it was making me cry just how much he had moved all these strangers and i was thinking about oh my god when i die i'm so sad that i'm not gonna be around to see what people will say because people get so nice when you die and it's just maybe it's nice bob owen kirk was able to see you know that it's a

wonder that's what he means by the it's a wonderful life thing yeah i mean that happened to me when i went in the coma remember i told you that story where oh yeah your friends thought you died yeah and i didn't really get so it wasn't so wonderful will you tell our listeners i i was in college i was a sophomore in college noah's going what yeah this is wild all right so i hooked up with a girl uh i just made out with her i didn't even like fuck her nothing like that serious and i didn't even know she was into me we didn't really even talk that much and then she wanted to come visit me in new orleans i was at college at two lane she was living in stewart florida and she told her dad she asked her dad for a plane ticket wait did you make out with her in florida yeah okay over the summer and then i went back to school and uh she asked her dad for like to buy a plane ticket for her and he's like no and so she went back she made up this story that i'm in a coma

that i got in a car wreck and now can he pay for the plane ticket because i'm in this coma and she needs to be there this woman is your soul mate because that seems like a thing you would have done she was probably swimming in a water tank that's probably who this woman is now yeah so so the guy she tells her dad who's a doctor my dad's a doctor he tells my dad because i live to your dad that he this guy's that that i'm in a coma and it gets your dad and your dad says what uh he's like uh call me back i can't talk about no no no he i just got lunch i'm should we talk at 30 this sandwich is good yeah no so i i don't know exactly what happened in how the game of telephone went on to get to my friends because

my i had a cell phone but it was off so for three days i wasn't able to be contacted it kind of shows that i didn't care about needing anyone's attention or whatever but which was kind of nice but anyways for three days my phone was off and all these people it got around that i didn't care about needing anyone's attention or whatever but which was kind of nice but anyways for three days my phone was off and all these people it got around that i was in a coma and all my friends thought i was in a coma all your florida friends all my florida that you were in a coma in new orleans yes and no one and so get in touch with me how many days did your friends think three days they thought you were i don't know if it was three days i feel like it was around there maybe like it maybe maybe two days because three days they probably would have like so rusty rusty

and my buddy kelly were driving to new orleans to come see me in my coma so finally i fucking turned my phone on and i have you would think 50 messages i had a i had a decent amount i thought some girls would be like no i always wanted to you didn't get that yeah it was more like we're coming there for spring break and you're dead come on bro oh my god yeah so um did what did were they talking to you like you were dead and then like in a coma were they just like man i heard about what happened like yeah yeah that was kind of a vibe like i remember rusty leaving a message like hey we're driving to new orleans we really hope that you recover you know maybe we'll stop by after bourbon street your funeral if it's yeah popping off by then yeah we'll play flip cup off your grave oh my god yeah

so anyways uh but yeah so i just kind of found out kind of how people would be talking and a lot of people were really sad like a lot of the girls how people would be talking and a lot of people were really sad like a lot of the girls in my high school were sad a lot of the guys were but it wasn't like insane but i kind of do know that like i'd have about 45 people no now people would be sad but you are well known enough yeah you would have a good you would have a i think you'd be very happy with the response of if you died but the it's the weirdest thing that that's when it happens is after you're gone. Like when you can't even appreciate it. It's just I wish there were some way to adequately celebrate someone and think about them in the way that you do when they're gone.

But there's no way to do that. I guess like a wedding. Yeah. Is like that. Because the person's dying to all your friends are like he's dead to us now i mean we're not gonna see this guy until he gets divorced yeah it's pretty much a best man's speech and then we'll all be married and not really be able to hang out with them yeah but but yeah i guess that's kind of those moments you know birthdays sometimes on

instagram people post mother's day like you can get celebrated but not in the same way i guess when you get sick and maybe if people like if you get sick and you get to the point where you're like i'm saying goodbye like there can be that but it you truly won't ever know but there's another thing of him going through that and like that feeling of having it's like when i got stabbed or like if you you know when you were maybe sick with your the eating disorder and stuff yeah like where you get close to death which makes you feel more alive I wish every person some people go through life and don't feel like they're gonna die until they die at like 85 and they don't have that like rebirth feeling I didn't really get it when I got I didn't get it I didn't either I didn't get get that like i don't know i appreciate life i know

i was like oh god i have to find some other way to kill myself because i like food now i know i feel like if i had a massive heart attack three days later i'd be like eating like shitty again and being like oh man that was weird no they did a study my friend recently told me they did a study with 10 people and or you know like they found out like 90 of people if you are told that you're going to die unless you stop doing this one thing yeah uh you'll be dead within a year yeah these people and it's legitimate things that these people like if you don't stop this habit you're gonna die in a year everyone goes oh i'm done i'm done and by the end of that year only 10 of those people actually are able to stick it out even though those other 90 percent know that this is going to make them die they still do it because

you just convince yourself it's like i'm i'm kind of getting to the point where i'm that's interesting i wanna i wanna change some of my habits because i realize i'm getting older and it's like, I'm, I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm, I want to, I want to change some of my habits because I realized I'm getting older and it's like, you just can't do this shit to your body forever without consequences. Like it does catch up to you the way you eat and the way you drink, smoke, whatever it is. Um, and it's just, but there, but that's what people know that cigarettes cause cancer yet. They still keep smoking and they'll be coughing up black stuff and they still smoke it's like it doesn't make you stop it takes more than that it's interesting because like the time frame of it like if i go hey if you you can't you know eat a protein bar if you don't if you don't stop eating protein bars you're gonna die

in a week right as opposed to you're gonna die in 20 years 20 years you're like it doesn't really you don't really feel that you don't really fear that you always have the example of the person that kept smoking until they were 90. there's a keith richards out there who like only people go dark stanhope drinks you know every day and it's like arty lang like these people that like abuse their bodies and are examples of of everlasting people but they wake up and they feel like shit though you know like it's there's they're not avoiding hangovers and all those things like and and and then there's healthy people i well i know someone that you know kathy griffin has lung cancer just had a half her lung removed she's never smoked a day in her life so there's people people like that, that you go, well, I'm going to get it anyway.

Let's just, but it's all coming back to the word denial, not being honest with yourself, not actually looking at how often you smoke, how often you drink. Oh, it's a, I drink socially. Well, what does that mean? Does that mean every day or does that mean every weekend? And if it means every weekend, that's, you're getting hammered 52 times a year. That's a lot. If you actually look at the, if you look at it all, it's a lot. And that's why like, I did not see what my eating disorder was and still until I started being accountable for it and taking pictures of

my food before I ate and sending it to someone. And then I started looking at it and I was like, what the fuck is this? Like I would go through, I would, I would see our text chain and it was just me sending pictures of like the weirdest shit. And I'm just like, God, when you see it all like this, it really speaks volumes. I wasn't able, even though I knew what I was putting in my body, I wasn't able to see it until I like was actually taking pictures of it. It really helped me. It's like with Ted Lasso, when they say they don't say the word the yips oh yeah and the psychiatrist is like or psychologist is like why don't you say it yeah because well you just don't mention the yips and the yips is in sports when you whatever like you you can't because of a mental block you can't

perform well yeah so you don't talk about it you're in denial about it it's like alcoholism in a family like how many listeners out there do you have some kind of drug or someone in your family has a drug or anger problem or alcohol problem and they get wasted and they say all this shit and then the next day everything no one talks about it it's denial and it's like it runs so deep and you go no i know that they said it they don't know and so it'll never get brought up molestation people and then the fact that you know you can't be because a molestation makes everyone so fucking uncomfortable because everyone's been molested no one talks about it when you don't talk about it people have shame

because it seems like something no one else has but when you start talking about it you realize everyone's been and it we need each other you need a community to get over any kind of struggle you can't do it alone that's what i found and i do like the idea of like if you if you get ahead of it like let's say someone has some tendencies to be an alcoholic early on and you just have conversations open conversations it's not going to lead to like an intervention and rehab. Like that's the last resort. That's when people bring it up when it's so bad that you have to like, let's try to about cheating. Let's try to bring it up. Let's bring it up before it's so bad. Okay. So if Brenna had developed a crush on someone she worked with, okay. I know she works with a bunch of women, but like if she met a guy and she has a crush on him and she said to you listen i have a crush on this person and nothing's happened nothing i don't want anything to happen i want to be with you

do you would you rather that or would you rather just keep it to herself god that's tough i don't know i really don't know i it depends how nice are his teeth they're nice. Oh, fuck. No, no. He took the retainer out. Like a permanent retainer.

This guy is like really responsible and like his room is clean. Like all the things that you aren't, he is. Yeah. And, uh, he, uh,

he just broke 70. Oh my God, dude. Fuck that. I don't want to know. No, but in all seriousness. I want to tell you because I love you and I don't want to cheat on you and I haven't yet. What would you say?

What do you want to know or not? What? Honestly, like I would want to know even more. Like if I did find out more, I'd want to know why do you have a crush on him? Is it a physical attraction? Is it an emotional attraction? It's all of those things. The way that I felt about you when I liked you, like that early stage of a crush, you know that feeling. Andrew, what if she added a very important factor, Nikki, which we talked about previously? What if she says, yeah, I'm attracted to him,

but I have integrity and I love our relationship and I would never cheat? It's not that i would never cheat i don't want to don't want and i'm starting to feel and think about this person in a way that makes me scared that i might jump off this ledge yeah um and i wanted to tell you about it oh it'd be tough man it'd be one thing if like she wasn't like with him all the time you know what i mean and obviously i'm not there so part of me would be like should i let her go and be with this guy because i'm long distance like i would think about that as well you're not hearing me she's saying i don't want to cheat on you i know i am hearing you but i'm saying even if she said that i would i would still feel i would

still it would still with my brain to the point where i wouldn't want to deal with that yeah okay well the alternative is definitely she's gonna cheat on you because if you can't talk about it and the person that you're dealing with doesn't get brought in and like it will lead that's how cheating happens it always starts with a crush of like oh i shouldn't do this but i'll it's just a flirtation i'm not gonna do anything then it goes to the next thing then it's then yeah and you guys get in a fight and it makes her which you have no idea this guy even fucking this is a pretend scenario but it happens all the fucking time and it doesn't mean that brenna's gonna do this but if it happened it's it's very normal uh then you have a fight and then all of a sudden it's like this guy wants to go out i'll go out with him because i'm not it's not a date we're just co-workers then you have a couple drinks and it's like you're not texting her back and you're being a little pissy bitch about something because you're

dealing with your shit and then it just and then in her mind it could possibly i'm not saying this for brennan but this happens all the time i'm just saying that i think her bringing a crush to you would be the best way to get ahead of it. And I think that. Well, how many times do you talk about this crush? Because I don't want to have a million conversations about the guy. Well, if it's still coming up and she's still feeling. Then I don't want.

I'd rather her cheat and just break up. Well, then you're going to live in denial. Because a person you are with is going to have crushes on other people. I know. But that doesn't mean you have to have conversations. My husband doesn't. I don that doesn't mean you have to have conversations my husband does it I don't yes you have yes you have you're gonna have feelings for other people and whether I get what you're saying I get what you're saying I'm just saying you need to step up is I think what it means she's not feeling emotionally and physically

supported enough and this is a hypothetical obviously now I feel like you're gonna be mad at Brenna after this conversation but like Brennana who she's dating someone else she's dating her manager jose or something hot andreas i don't know i just think that i i i hope that i can handle that if a guy i just think it would be an annoying conversation to talk about another crush more than more than like if it came up like once a week i'm like i don't want to be in this relationship i don't want to i don't think it needs to come i'm just saying like that depends well it might get to that point where you go if you're still having a crush on this person i'm obviously not the person for you and then you would break up but i do think that there's

something to someone being able to say that and going well can i just can you send me a picture of this person so i can make fun of them for you? And we can team up on this guy. That could be something. And now, and help you. What could I do to make you feel like you? Because women generally, I don't want to speak for us all, if we're feeling emotionally and physically loved, we don't really feel attracted to other people. Men is different because you guys just want to get your dicks wet. And you have a different biology. And that's not all men either by the way some men

are more like feminine in this way and some women are more masculine in the way that they just want to fuck around but i generally feel that it's just a symptom of the relationship not being the not being good enough but don't women cheat just as much as i feel like that's a statistic i just saw that women cheat just as much as men? I feel like that's a statistic I just saw, that women cheat just as much as men in marriages. I wouldn't be surprised because... Women ask for divorce more than men. Yeah, because they don't feel emotionally and physically supported. And men also...

What about financially supported? I think that's a big thing. I really do. Yeah, of course. It means support. It's support. If a woman enters into a marriage saying, I'm not going to work and I want this because you are going to provide for me,

you're my husband, and suddenly he has a gambling problem or gets fired and can't uh work and that was part of the plan there's there's a deficiency now on the agreement that you locked into before you got married you have to address that he's gonna fuck your boss i fired you possibly if he has all his teeth any damn it and shots of 68 shoots yeah 63. um all right let's get to why do i care 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year it's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities i'm joel oh and i am matt and we're the hosts of how to money we want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How To Money will help you to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers,

but we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA.

These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests.

People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner, Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique.

Listen to many questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions. Limitless answers. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why do I care? Oh, man, why do you care? Dwayne Johnson says he's the opposite of not washing themselves celeb. He, like, made this whole list on Twitter about how much he showers, how cleanly he is, because Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are saying... They don't shower their kids.

And then, yeah, Ryan Gosling, or not Ryan Gosling. What's his name? Was it Ryan Gosling? Some other guy said he doesn't clean himself. Dax Shepard. Dax Shepard, yeah, and Kristen Bell said the same thing about the kids. And then Jake Gyllenhaal said he doesn't shower that often, and people say he might be stinky.

And this is Dwayne. I don't like The Rock. i'm not a huge fan either i think thy doth protest too much and that anyone that works out that much or talks about how clean they are and like how good they are cleaning themselves is hiding something hiding in plain sight i just i don't know i just i it's not like i don't like i don't know the rock i don't think i'll ever be easy to me i just i've never understood the obsession with him i don't i guess i haven't seen his movies i really haven't i've never seen a rock movie he laughs at all his videos he goes i'm in the gym hey oh i just worked out hard 5 a.m are you up yet i am i i drink my energy i feel bad saying i don't like the rock i really feel bad saying that because

if i were the rock and heard this or like knew knew the rock and i heard this i'd be like you don't know fucking rock shut up nikki um so i just want to say that i am you're backtracking on the rock yeah i'm saying that i don't like the rock because i uh feel i'm probably jealous of him in some way or uh insecure things i'm mad at him about i'm insecure about so a comedian so comedian that's in new york uh jean i forget his name i'm sorry but but i'm not trying to like be like cool about it but i i he said something like i think this is weirder than the dirty people, essentially. So he just went through his regimen of how he washes himself. Yeah, he takes a shower three times a day.

Okay, this guy's hiding something. I'm sorry. I'm going to take back what I said. It's not about insecurity. If you shower three times a day, you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, which, you know, no judgment there um i just heard things about the rock let me just say that i've heard things about the rock that i don't care

to disclose but i'm just not a fan not a fan let's get to top one bottom one no one knows what i could have heard it could have been that he was rude to someone no you heard he has a stinky asshole and you know what like it doesn't matter what i heard because it was just a rumor but him writing back to this comedian like he wrote back to the comedian yeah that was the whole thing oh no oh he comes at comedians okay let's take that out i i love the rock uh i love san andreas it's made me it really inspired me trying to find a husband because I was like, I got to find someone like The Rock in case there's a huge earthquake to save me because the only people that survive in that movie are The Rock fans.

He's not going to survive. He's not going to be able to shower. Oh, that's so true. He's going to be in a water tank trying to wash off. That's the only way he can make a bath. He's so huge. I mean, showering three times a day how does he get the hard to reach places because he is so jacked i'm sure he has a team top one bottom

one all right for that wash oh my god that's so funny top one bottom one back one uh front one uh all right so top one bottom one today's category is a kind of touch okay so your least favorite touch and your favorite touch let's start with bottoms least favorite touch andrew first yes yes you may go I go first? Yes, you may go first. Yeah, go first because I'm still kind of debating. So this was inspired by a post on Instagram that Andrew and Anya made. It was a very beautiful, heartwarming post where he's holding you and Anya on stage from over the weekend. Yes. And then I zoom in to where his hands were. Yeah.

And that, I cringe just thinking about it oh my god they're supposed to be that was part of the dance no wait no no no it's so for me the worst place that you could touch me is behind the knee in that ligament that like stretches out and i can't even look at it oh my god i see what you're talking about that That ligament that stretches out. Why, Noah? Because it's like your Achilles, it's snap. He could somehow snap it. Just imagining a finger on it, it just really grosses me out. I don't know why.

Does anyone else have that? Please write in if you know what she's talking about. I mean, I see it in this picture. You're touching the back of Anya's leg. That doesn't bother me. What about the way he's grabbing my leg? He's wrapped around mine. Does that bother you, or does it just have to be the touch touching the back of Anya's leg. That doesn't bother me. What about the way he's grabbing my leg? He's like wrapped around mine. Does that bother you?

Or does it just have to be like the touch of the back? Okay, so it's not exactly the back of the knee. That's fine. It's that ligament. Above it. Yeah. Here, but on the other side. Oh, oh, below.

Oh, okay. This. Hold on. Wow. Okay, yes. That little tendon. Do you not like your ligament or are you ticklish? I just don't like the way it feels when it's touched. It grosses me out.

Yes. It sends shivers down my spine. Interesting. I will go with my least favorite touch being my lower ass, like my ass in any way um not by a loved one but like i mean i guess no one wants their ass touched by a stranger but for me i get panicky when people touch my butt because i feel i have insecurities about my butt so it makes me go oh my god i'm sorry i like i'm sorry that this isn't what you wanted and i feel like i've been sexually harassed before and honestly felt like I should apologize to the man who grabbed my butt because it was so not a good butt. It's insane, but I really felt that way. What about when you're hooking up and you're like naked in bed? Oh, no, I love it.

Okay. No, I love it. I'm okay with it now, but I would say, and also let me just say any touch from a man to get by in a, and I do quotes around this, crowded room or bar when men touch your waist. It's just a way for them to touch you, even though to be like, oh, move, sweetie. Do you do that to men? Excuse me. Do you do that to men when you need to get by? Do you touch them on the waist or the lower back? No, you don't. You say, excuse me, because men know how to fucking move. You don't need to touch us to move us out of the way you can say excuse me and we can get out of the way we know how to do that too i prefer for a guy to

stick his fingers up me and then plant me where he wants me to be and direct me with his whole hand inside me would be best so you want inside rather than outside yes that's my that's my least favorite touch is a man touching you pretending like he needs to get by uh when he really wouldn't do that to a man so my two would be uh bottom my two bottoms no it's just one bottom i gave two because i'm the host okay so my three because i always get my three bottoms uh well i i was just gonna say one is just i hate when a girl she'll put her hand by your armpit but not tickle it yet but kind of tickle it where it's like a half tickle that's a tickle man i know a tickle is the the light touch a hard touch not doesn't feel like a tickle a tickle no but i'm saying like a hard tickle like a hard tickle could like a hard tickle could be with a light touch,

but she's not going fully in, but they're in just enough where you almost anticipate the tickle. Yes. It's like either tickle me and let's get this over with, or don't do like a half tickle. So armpits are your tickle, like most ticklish. Yeah. I don't love armpits and I don't like being the little spoon and they are their hands on my stomach.

My hair, my hair. Don't touch that. I'm changing mine. My their hands on my stomach my hair my hair don't touch that i'm changing mine my hair don't touch my hair it's it's a struggle for me to go get my hair done i always have to like i dread it because i just people don't handle it as as delicately as i would like it to be handled so my hair what's your favorite touch noah ah favorite touch would have to be like in the inside of um my thigh and it has to be a firm grab not a light one wait so your favorite touch and your worst touch are within centimeters of each other yeah it's god it is a fine line it's a fine tendon inside of your thigh i wouldn't i think most women would hate that because that's like you know that's our, you know, that's

our insecure region of like our thighs are fat or whatever. Like you like the inside of your thigh. Inside of my thigh with a firm grab. Okay. I like that. From a loved one, not from a stranger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite touch is definitely like delicately on my face by a lover like a a gentle touch of like holding my

face i i feel like is so loving and something that you only let someone who like only someone who would love you would even want to do it and hold your face and oh my god i'm gonna like tear up just thinking about like the one time it happened to me that i didn't have to like beg for it um it made me cry on the spot someone like held my face and just like said uh you know said a nice thing to me but it was the the face holding it's just such a tender loving thing that um has only happened to me like kind of organically once in my life it's okay it'll happen again um i i think my top one would be um i like when when a girl or brenna for that instance when i'm laying in bed and she just scratches the back of my head yeah like like it's kind of like when you get a really good shampoo massage you know what i mean

but just like the back of the head just you, you know, hard enough where it doesn't, it's not, you know, where you get in there, but not too hard where it actually hurts. We should do ones, our favorite places to touch people or like, Oh,

where we like to touch. Yeah. That's interesting because yeah, I do like doing that to the back of guy's head is like playing with their hair. And I, I hope that the person that I do it to likes it, but I,

I feel like sometimes, you know love language is much like some sometimes love languages are touch it is a love language but some people don't like touch at all you know like that but it really it sucks because if you like being touched and someone doesn't like being touched like it's not their love language they don't understand how to really give it. I mean, it is interesting. I like the back of my... To be touched, you need to touch someone.

So if your love language isn't touched and you are with someone who likes to be touched, you have to touch them, which is in turn being touched by their head. Put on some OJ gloves. Oh, that's a good point. Okay. I like the back of my head

and usually I don't like when girls play with the top of my head because it's receding and I get insecure. Yeah, your hairs are sensitive. But with her, I feel very like, go ahead. Get in there. Get into the receding alleys. I trust you.

I love you. Get in there. Get in the back. I was touching a guy's hair recently, and he, I know, has concerns about being receding. And I was just like, oh, I wonder if he's insecure about this. But I just don't care. It's just like I'll be. and as someone who worries about losing hair, I'm very delicate.

But also I was just like the idea that I would love you, like that I would like you or the way I feel about you, I would feel less if you were bald is truly insane to me. And I know that I could be attracted to men with hair and not attracted to bald guys, but if I know you and love you, if you lose your hair, I will still love you the same. That would be insane for me to love you less. Because then you can't cheat. No one else is going to love you, so I'll love you more, essentially.

So now I don't have to worry about anything. The guy in the scenario also has a full head of hair. It's thick. It's long. Oh, okay. Wow. And, again, in the scenario, also has a full head of hair. It's thick. It's long. Oh, okay. Wow. And, again, suits a 63. Well, final thought.

I mean, let's move into it. Do we want to even go back to that? No. No, we're good. No. Yeah. What do you want to talk about? Final thought?

What's your day like today? Golf. Yeah. I have a lesson at two sweet i gotta buy you a coconut water my bad on that yeah i got a video for cosmopolitan where i'm comparing like cheap things with the expensive version and andrew drank my cheap version of coconut water he just like i opened this box with all this random shit and then i was going through the recycling today of course and i see an empty

coconut water and i go is this go in my cosmo box that they i have to shoot this god damn video you were complaining about this box when we were right before we left she's like this because i didn't know what it was i thought it was a fan sent me a bunch of random shanthrax i realized it was uh cosmo i'm doing this video so yeah and i've never seen you drink coconut water ever. No, I didn't get mad at you. I didn't care at all. But this was the best part.

You had your AirPods in. So you go, did you buy this? That's how loud it was. And I was like, I just woke up. So I know when Nikki's very motivated. Some mornings you wake up and you're super motivated to clean the house and stuff. And I get scared in bed because I'm like, she so motivated out there and i'm just rolling out and so i get up and she's like did you buy this i'm like oh my god i just want to go back no i didn't care at all i just

was like the airpods were in so it sounded like you were yelling airpods are dangerous these new ones with the noise cancellation i can't hear anything anything when i am wearing them like it is it truly is dangerous people talk to me and think i'm rude or the girl at the um donetta downstairs whenever i don't have them in i talk to her and i go hey donetta but if i have them in i'm listening to music it's too much to take them out and be like how are you like i still so she must think i'm so rude sometimes because i just go hot yeah like it's it's so um if you're out there and you have those airpods you know what i'm talking about noise cancellation is is truly makes you anti-social and if you can't people can't see them in your ears they think you're

just being rude also you get hit by a car very easily oh yeah for sure you need to hear things around you for sure how many times did you walk across the street in new york and almost die and you go and a huge truck yeah and you're like i didn't look i know i didn't look i could have been hit or it's like two ways or it's one way the other way dude dude i've had so many times yeah with add like it's a scary city oh it's it's it really is it crossing the street there i anya was always really good about only going at the time like when it would be the crosswalk and say walk which in new york no one follows that but she just didn't trust and it's smart of her even though the time

i did get hit by a car i i had the countdown the walking countdown i got hit by the car i got up from rolling on the hood rolling onto the pavement in 10th Avenue traffic stopping I got up from the pavement after getting hit by car and it was still seven seconds to go for me to cross the street it was still counting down and I remember gesturing to it and going I like knowing for sure that I didn't fuck up. I was so. Your last words are something. And then I just dropped it. Were you wearing air? Were you not air?

No, I wasn't. Were you wearing headphones? No, I saw it coming to, I saw the car coming. I heard it. I turned,

I saw it turning onto 10th Avenue going right, trying to make a yellow light or I guess red. It was running a red light. Yeah. And, and I just, and, and um and i just and and my last words i remember as it was turning i thought i was gonna die because it was at such a crazy speed it was definitely gonna hit me oh my god and i just go no no no no no no and i remember

as i said it i'm not joking you it's so weird if people have had uh near-death experiences you know that time slows down and you have all of these thoughts. Like it really – I don't know if life flashes before your eyes, but you can have whole thoughts. And my whole thought was, first of all, I'm about to die, and my last words are no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I really thought that's the last thing I'm going to say on earth. And it wasn't, unfortunately. I don't know what the last thing I'm going to say on earth. And it wasn't, unfortunately. I don't know what the last thing I'm going to say is. And you took that lesson from that accident and you...

My last words are probably going to be, what the fuck is my Boingo password? Because I'll be on a plane that's about to crash or something and I'll be trying to log onto the Wi-Fi so that I can say goodbye to my family. And instead, I can't get on it because I don't remember what can say goodbye to my family. And instead I can't get on it because I don't remember what password I used to get access. My last words is I think I'm having a

heart attack and then hearing you go, it's just stress. And then I'll be the, how I die. Oh, that's the last thing you hear. It's all in your head. And then I'm dead. Yeah. And then I'll wake up again and go, it wasn't, it wasn't stress. And and then and then i wake up and then i call your dad and tell him and he's like again i'm it's i'm on my lunch break i'll get to it in a second all right guys thank you so much for listening today we will be here all week long it's been a while uh and it won't be a while till you hear us tomorrow on the Nikki Glaser podcast. Don't be cute out there as always. And follow us on our Instagram. Post about listening to the show.

And we love you so much. And did you say have all the swells before? Yes, I did. Okay. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable

stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events. Tune into my new podcast, Throttle Therapy, with Catherine Legg, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The Happiness Labs how-to season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.