The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #84 Little Horse & The Shower Tooth Tiger

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

Between you and Nikki, going on IG live with besties was more fun than watching Mr. Corman. Andrew and Nikki discuss the reality of hooking up with a guy who has ED as opposed to how the show portrays it. You Heard it Here First: it's easy to spot a narcissist politician, kids and sleepovers and a coach who wants to make history in the NBA for her skills. Fanthrax takes an interesting turn and in the Final Thought Nikki and Andrew wrap the show with some ASMR. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He the adult entertainment industry i really wanted to be a player boy my dog he was like i'll take you to the top i'll make you a star to expose an

alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in it's honestly so much worse than i had anticipated we're an army in comparison to him from novel listen to the bunny trap on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hey, how's it going out there? Happy Thursday. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. I don't think I've talked yet today.

So that was, um, let me just clear my throat a little bit. I am a little horse today. That always makes me laugh. You're a little horse? Me! Me! Uh, that is always, that is never not funny to say I'm a little horse oh that's so cute I wish I were a little horse um uh I'm a pony today that's a new way of saying that you have a sore throat or like your voice sounds husky is to say I'm I'm I'm pony I'm a pony because it's a little horse I mean I technically it's probably not is a pony a horse do you? You're a horse girl. I think, yeah, it's like in the equine family. Yeah, but I'm wondering if like a, well, okay. Yeah, I mean, like we could look it up, but like honestly, I don't even like care.

Yeah, yeah. It's fine. Is a seahorse a horse? No one knows. Is an eggplant an egg? Last night, that was one of the things that Andrew rapped about, I want to say. We went live last night on our Instagram, Nikki Glazer Pod Instagram. I want to shout out to everyone who saw that shit show.

I did not know. So I was busy trying to book Tickets back from Canada And figure out how to get back to St. Louis It's gonna take me Like 14, 15 hours To get back to St. Louis From Edmonton Worth it I'm doing 20 minutes of comedy

I'm flying So that's tomorrow night on Friday I'm flying in Thursday To do 20 minutes of comedy on Friday night and then get back on a plane Saturday and fly back. It's wild. Sometimes I do, most of the time I do like an hour and 20. And even that seems ridiculous to work that much or little.

But anyway, I'm on on I'm like last night yesterday was the longest day of my life I never stopped and I didn't even have a phone with me the whole day so I don't even know how what my day would I probably would have had some sort of uh mental breakdown had my phone been working and texts had been coming through consistently. And, um, it's really nice to be off the grid for a day, but, um, actually it's stressful. That's a whole other thing. But, um, so finally got through a nine one one still on hold. No. Um, I was on my computer. This is like 10 o'clock at night. We tried to watch Mr. Corman, me and Andrew. It was Finally, my day was over. I got a new phone.

The last minute, right before the AT&T store closed, get home, and I'm like, oh, my God, my day is finally over. I feel good. I got a lot of emails when I got home. I got a really exciting call that I can't wait to talk about from 911. They said, thank you for calling. You're still on hold. No.

I'm sitting there. I'm eating. We got some Thai food. I got a double papaya salad. I'm really enjoying it. We put on Mr. Corman, which was suggested to us by several besties. You got to watch Mr. Corman. No, you don't I mean if you have any anxiety

this show this show is like almost like Requiem for a Dream or what I imagine Requiem for a Dream is like in terms of I know you've seen it no I've never seen it's always the movie on reddit that everyone talks about like what's the movie that you wish you wouldn't have seen but you're glad you did kind of thing, like hard to watch, which by the way, I was watching 30 Rock the other day, and Tracy Morgan gets a job offer for a movie. He's trying to EGOT, which is get an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony, and he's going for the O in his EGOT,

and he's trying to get an Oscar buzzy type movie where he plays like a disabled person or like a war movie, and they're like Tracy you gotta do this movie it's called hard to watch and it just describes so much of the stuff out there which FBoy Island you would think is HTW but it's not it's that for me is ET dubs but HT dubs there's so many shows that I don't understand why people watch them when we are living in a world of extreme anxiety. I mean, and this is what the show is about. Mr. Corman is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, JGL's new show that he directed, wrote, produced.

Maybe one of those things he should have given to someone else because I was overwhelmed by this production. Everyone's telling me to watch it. I got a bestie emphatically telling me that I would love it. And this was probably a DM I got from a bestie who we had had some history. Sometimes I look and I go, oh, me and this bestie have communicated a lot. I don't remember everyone. If you come up to me and say, I'm Spanglebush32, I'm not gonna remember our exact, I can't do that. There's maybe a couple names that I would remember

that I just talk to consistently that are friends, fans. But generally, I have to remind myself, oh, do I have history with this person? So this person was someone I trusted their opinion. You gotta watch Mr. Corman. I was like, got it. Noted person was someone I trusted their opinion. You got to watch Mr. Corman. I was like, got it. Noted it.

When it comes up, I will remember to watch that. Andrew last night was like, you want to watch Mr. Corman? Because we tried to watch The Greatest Showman, and I was like, he puts it on. He goes, you want to watch The Greatest Showman? I was like, he's like, it's really good. No, he didn't say that. He goes, let's watch it. I was like, all right, fine.

I'm just like eating my papaya salad looking at Air Canada flights it starts which I do love that song that's like this is the greatest show because I danced to it uh at the finale of Dancing with the Stars Bobby Bones like finale dance he invited me back to like dance in it and it was so much fun because I got to dance with like no pressure of being eliminated so it was just like fun and if you watch his finale dance on YouTube try to find me I I dare where's Waldo is easier to play than find Nikki Glaser in a on a show she was a cast member on Dancing with the Stars forgot about me by the way completely forgot about me um as soon as they voted me off you guys know my history with it still tied up like still have a lot of

resentments was on that show loved it obsessed with it got voted off oh everyone's so sad Nikki's leaving tears tears tears first voted off I didn't even like as I know I'm on a lot of tangents I'll get back to everything I promise you so my ADD meds are kicking in Garrett Power Garrett P from FBoy Island is was one of the first voted off on the show among a couple others and he read a poem to Nakia on the first episode uh and it was like this like really heartfelt poem and I remember thinking this would be good if you're you know fourth voted off fifth like and on and on first voted off no one cares no one remembers you sorry Garrett P it's just true actually on our show they do remember you because we keep you around for at the nice guy grotto or uh limbro but he didn't

know that at the time he's pulling out a poem and I remember thinking Garrett no you can't you just got to say goodbye and realize you're first voted off no one's going to remember you because when I was first voted off I did cry on Dancing with the Stars I cried when I was voted off last comic standing in the second time I did it because they asked me about calling my parents to tell them I didn't make it. And it made me cry because my parents were so sweet about it. And I was embarrassed that I cried, but it was real. And then I cried on Dancing with the Stars because it was so embarrassing, you know? And that's why I cried. But I didn't, I remember when I started crying, I was like, Nikki, don't do this. No one's emotional about you leaving.

No one's invested in you yet. You're first voted off. Just get out of the way. No one cares. And I swear to you, as soon as I left, you were there, Noah, weren't you? No one cared. It was like I walked out of that room and they forgot that I was on the show. It was like, pack up your knives and go.

Were you in the trailer with, I was blacked out in anger. Were you in the trailer with me? It was an, I hope you blacked that out too. I, it was not a pretty scene. I was like throwing my leotard around and just like half naked screaming in front of my dad. You pulled off your, your eyelashes as, that I'll never forget as you were talking about it. That's so funny.

Yeah. I ripped off those eyelashes. I've never seen anyone just peel eyelashes off like that. I know I'm so rough anyway. And especially when I'm just like heartbroken and, and have to go home and I'm not even packed. Um, but I just knew that being first voted off,

it like didn't matter and so I was embarrassed that I was so you know the most embarrassing thing about getting voted off first was that people had to act like they cared I my most uncomfortable thing I think is burdening anyone with caring about my feelings I have a really hard time crying in front of people because I feel like people feel like they have to stop everything and crying in front of people because I feel like people feel like they have to stop everything and comfort me. And that it's, I talked about it with my therapist. Like I have a real hard time. Like I have to pay people to listen to me cry because I just feel like, even though I have a podcast where all I do is like talk and people just have

to listen for whatever reason, me crying, like I feel like people have to like hug me and touch me and they don't want to. And my therapist was like like do you not want to when people cry and I'm like maybe and it's not because I don't want to sometimes when people start crying I go okay I gotta cancel the rest of my plans today like there's a part of me that goes this is priority everything else has to go away and I get kind of stressed out about that that I have to be I have to stay with this person and take care of them. Probably stems from my childhood, even though no one in my childhood cried. Maybe that's why. But I just, I hate when people pity me and it's not deserved, especially when you're verse voted off. So that's just like a whole other

issue. Let's get back to Mr. Corman. Don't even know how I got from that to that. But I will say that Mr. Corman was disappointing and really stressful. And it's a show about a guy who has anxiety and is dealing with panic disorder. I am so tired of shows where women are presented as batshit, normal women, women who, you know, by all accounts, their characters are being presented as like, this is a woman, this guy would date. And then the woman turns out to be just so insane and so irrational, naggy, just a bitch. And if you've watched the pilot episode of Mr. Corman,

you know who I'm talking about. He like goes to this bar. He's Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's a teacher, fifth grade teacher, lives in Los Angeles, broke teacher, lives with a roommate, approaching 40, single. Don't really know what this show is about still. I saw an episode and a half, maybe two episodes. Yeah, I saw two. And it's just about his kind of descent into anxiety. The whole second episode has this bell chiming every, I would say, minute. So as soon as you forget that there's this weird clanging bell, it comes again. And I was honestly, I was like, Andrew, turn this off. I can't. It's causing me so much anxiety. And he goes, well, I think that's what this is about. It's like trying to give you the anxiety that this guy feels.

And I was like, okay, I guess in that way, it's a cool piece of art because it's causing you to feel anxious and understand what a panic disorder is like. And like chronic anxiety is like. Does anyone need to know what that is, by the way? Is like and like chronic anxiety is like does anyone need to know what that is by the way is anyone confused about what anxiety is you know at one point in the show he opens up his phone and it says global climate crisis worse than we thought you know like there's some headline which I thought was a lovely moment because that is the headline that always sends me into a panic it like just expedites whatever panic I'm feeling is when I read a climate change news. And there's no good climate change news,

by the way. There's never once been an article with here's a thing about the climate that's it's going well. Wait, what's that noise? Is that nature sounds? Am I going crazy? Wait, there are nature sounds coming from something. Oh, it's my alarm on my phone. Oh my God. I had to download an alarm clock on my computer because I didn't have a phone yesterday. So I picked nature sounds to wake me up instead of like a... Like I think what we wake up to, if you're waking up to a really annoying alarm clock sound, and I know you're like, well, I won't wake up any other way. Try something else. Even try the absence of noise. Like I have a white noise machine. And sometimes if I get a call,

it shuts off and it'll wake me up. Just the silence will wake me up. Anyway, it was nature sounds coming out of nowhere, but it was calming. It was almost like, and that's so funny. I was just talking about the climate crisis. And then all of a sudden there was like tree frogs and like a rainforest sound and it was like bulldozing you know the I always say the rainforest cafe there was one time I saw it in a mall it was one of the funniest pictures I've ever taken it was like a rainforest cafe was uh completely gutted and like under construction and like there was just like rubble in this place. And I was like, that is the most authentic

Rainforest Cafe I've ever seen. Let's make all the Rainforest Cafes updated to have no trees and just loggers running through, just decimating species that we haven't even studied yet or know exist. let's destroy them before we know they exist so let me wrap this up mr corman is not my type of show it is the the female character that is brought in what was the show i was watching the other day that i was just like i am so tired of female characters being written by men and I know that's a thing that gets said a lot of like the male gaze

uh there was a there's a really great video if you watch the male gaze versus the female gaze exploring movies and how a director writer producer through the lens of a like the women presented through the male gaze are always either sexual objects or like the worst people ever because they're, they like hate their wives or whatever. And so they have to take it out in their scripts and their, the way they shoot things. But there's a really interesting video that explores birds of prey versus, um,

suicide squad, which is, uh, you know, studying what's her name? Uh, Margot Robbie's character. Um, the one with the pigtails, we all know.

Harley Quinn. Yes, Harley Quinn. This girl does a whole, like, so Suicide Squad was done by a man, of course, and then Birds of Prey was directed by a woman, and it shows the difference of, like, the shots, the wardrobe, how she's sexualized in one, and Birds of Prey is, I i guess i haven't seen either of them

but undeniably better than um than suicide squad although some would say birds of prey wouldn't even exist if suicide squad wasn't decent enough but it's a really interesting i always kind of roll my eyes at those things of like the male gaze like it's just almost like god men are gonna hate us because all we do is talk about how they suck but it's really interesting to see how I mean you can't you can't deny that men perceive women differently than than women do and it's just interesting to see it through cinema but I gotta say Joseph Gordon-Levitt I know he is a an artist and someone who I would probably never say this to his face and deny that I ever said it, but the way that he wrote this female character, and pretty much actually he's across the board every single

character in the show. Please watch it. Please everyone watch the pilot episode of this or the first episode and tell me what you think because everyone on this show behaves like a character in Curb Your Enthusiasm. And by that, I mean, Curb Your Enthusiasm sometimes can be HT dubs just because every character, no one would say that, you know, like Larry David will be crossing the street and someone go, are you going to pick up that trash, man? And he's like, well, I didn't throw down that trash. And they're like, pick it up. And you're like, no one talks like no one confronts people as much as ever. Larry David gets confronted, you know? But you know, that's for comedic effect.

This show is supposed to be like realism. Tell me one line in that show that anyone would ever say in real life. And I know it's a show, but no one talks like that. And the female character that he hooks up with is one of the worst people I have ever seen and guess what I think it's on you I know Joseph Gordon Love is supposed to be the victim in that scenario this girl is so mean to him well why are you attracted to her why'd you go home with her why would you sign up for this abusive person when

really I think it's this is a way for men to watch TV and further bolster their hatred of women because this girl is presented as like a cool, attractive girl that you would take home from a bar. And then she turns out to be a total asshole. No one would ever talk this way. He can't get an erection. She's a 40 year old woman going, what does this happen all the time to you? Is it me? It's like, no 40-year-old woman would ever yell at a guy that loses his erection on a first date and make it about them. I just don't see that happening anymore. Maybe yours at home screaming at your phone saying, yes, it would happen. So this all leads to the fact that me and Andrew went live last night. We're

going to get to it in a second. I want to talk more about Mr. Corman. I promise you we won't talk about The Bachelorette because it's over. Andrew! 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, how to money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature

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And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was OK. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh, Dad, all you were doing was talking about your thing in class.

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It's so early. I'm about to get on a flight to Canada. Hey, I was just talking about Mr. Corman. And I'm listening. And by talking, I mean I was like furiously going off on how i don't know it's shot really beautifully i really like the way he directs it's kind of like shot like 500 days of summer cool angles like he's cinematically like has a really good eye um even though uh the writing though especially for that female character and pretty much every character we realized sucks

on that show. This is a guy. We don't know why we're rooting for this guy. He's an asshole. There's nothing. Noah just looked it up while we were waiting for you to come in and she read that it's a comedy drama. Do you think it's funny? Did you laugh ever?

Because we throw that around loosely. I guess it's quirky. Ne'er once did I laugh. I do feel like it's setting it up. Like I think it's slow playing it. No. I think by the fourth episode. I don't need four episodes before I get a goddamn laugh.

That is bullshit. That is four hours of the show. That's too. No, you find a laugh within four minutes or I'm out, and that is even too long. You do not call yourself a comedy just because you once did a project with Zooey Deschanel. You know what I. I'm sorry.

I also, like, realized when I was watching it that there was too much, and I never really think about editing, because I don't really, like, see things that way, but when you're watching this show, a lot of it is the other characters in the scene like it's not like a point of view shot so i was noticing it's not a point of view shot i'm just like there was not like a lot of over the shoulder oh so it's just like almost just like one continued shot you know what i mean almost felt like it felt like you were on drugs and i think that's why it was it was it felt like an anxiety attack the way it was shot. But I think that was cool the way it was shot.

But what were you saying about it? So I was noticing the faces. So if I was talking and you have to be active listening, I was focusing on the other person's face. And it was just too much for me where I wasn't getting. Interesting. Does that make sense no but uh it's okay because it's really hard to describe what you're trying to describe but i i i think i i kind of whatever you're saying good actor yeah even when they're not talking it's like paying attention in a way or like i don't know there's something about a

good action yeah it just it just didn't feel real it felt like we were watching a way or like I don't know there's something about a good actor it just didn't feel real. It felt like we were watching a play I told you that while we were watching it I was like this feels too actor-y the thing is Joseph Gordon-Levitt is obviously a good actor but I just I love Don Juan we were talking about that

it was the guy with the porn addiction with Scarlett Johansson he was great in that that was written by him directed so I love his work I did The Roast of Rob Lowe the guy with the porn addiction with Scarlett Johansson. He was great in that. That was written by him, directed. So I love his work. I did the roast of Rob Lowe. I think he emceed that. He was the... Oh, no, no, no.

I forget. I just told him, I remember on one roast, he was the host, the emcee. And I said, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you're so adorable. I bet you eat pussy, but only with the crust cut off yeah that was a joke written by uh connor mcspadden um although actually i think i wrote it i'm just kidding no i didn't write that joke fashion egg fashion egg um back but i just like that show really infuriated me because of that female character which one the

one with the sex when he didn't get hard i mean pretty much everyone in the show is terrible like not a bad actor but like just a terrible person people terrible yes but not in this way it was so egregiously bad no do you know any woman who would behave that way in her late 30s there's only one good line that I, because I wasn't really paying attention, so if JGL, you're listening, I have no right to trash your show like this. I was like half eating,

like I was in my phone looking up flights on my computer. I was distracted, so like, and there was a, I was already anxious. There was this gong bell going off, but the thing is that there was one great line in it. He hooks up with this girl. He meets her at a bar. He trying to like figure out what do what do people in their late 30s do like his life kind of sucks his roommates always just want to stay and play video games he's like the only alternative is going to a bar like isn't there something in between so he ends up at a bar

by himself he meets this girl she's like smoking a cigarette and like why aren't you drinking and like why aren't you smoking like just like kind of giving him shit she's like a bitch and then they go home together and they're hooking up on the couch and he can't he can't he loses his erection and she immediately gets upset with him which i don't think it's happened to me no no no has anyone gotten upset with you no no no i'm saying that's what she said yeah this is That's what she said. This has never happened to me. Does this happen to you a lot? That's what she said to him. There's been women that

I haven't been able to get hard or calm. Do they confront you with it? They don't confront, but they will blame themselves. Sure. But they won't confront. But they won't blame themselves in front of you. You assume they're blaming themselves because they won't blame themselves in front of you they'll just quite you assume they're blaming themselves because they're a little bit quieter and like no i've had a girl

what'd she say i'm trying to remember the exact and this isn't a girlfriend this is a hookup a one-time hookup uh one-time hookup if i would never happen well i've been hammered drunk right okay but let me just say the one great line so she's like no you'll like this she's like this like kind of she's like approaching 40 she's probably my age and that's why i loved this line and she's a total cunt and i guess this line kind of like really cemented that she's supposed to be a cunt and he's actually a cunt too because they're both single in their 40s why aren't they married and she's just like you know they're they're about to part ways she's like you have a fucking limp dick and your breath smells and he's like my breath smells because i smoked one of your cigarettes i would have never gone home with you if like i was having to like i was gagging

kissing you they're being so mean to each other and then you think that there's gonna be this like detente of like they kind of agree that they're both shitty and then they'll make out you know like there's this moment and and the only problem with having subtitles on are closed caption which i have all the time because you can never hear anything i'm like losing my um hearing probably because uh i'm so freaking loud even i'm annoyed with my own voice today it's kind of hoarse because we were singing last night which i'll get to but she goes this joke the was ruined. Sometimes closed captions ruin the joke because so many jokes are because you don't see

them coming. That's what a joke is. It's a surprise. Oh, I didn't expect that. That surprises me. Ha ha. And then you laugh because laughing is a response to surprise because surprise is fear because it's off the usual. So this is like evolutionary.

And if I'm wrong, please someone correct me that knows better. But I think, you know, scientists or anthropologists have kind of determined that laughing is a response to surprise. Surprise is fear.

If you're scared of something like a saber-toothed tiger back when we were cavemen, baring your teeth would scare the predator away better than not. So like going like this, laughter is a way for you to,

is an involuntary response to surprise so that you bury your teeth and maybe survive because, and you scare the animal that you have canines. Does that make sense?

Unless you're you. Yeah, I'm scared now. I mean, you got to show that you're molars to someone and the people really get scared. They go, is this guy taking care of himself? He's probably got a shower toothbrush. A shower tooth tiger?

Shower tooth tiger. So this girl says, so they're at this moment and he just looks at her and he goes, do you know at what at what point and you think they're gonna he's gonna say something sweet because they've been yelling and they kind of have this moment of like calm and they're both looking at each other and it's a close-up on her face and she just it's not even on her face yet as he's saying it goes to her face

and it's just a shot of her where the lighting's bad she kind of you can see her skins a little bit you can see how old she is, which is a great shot and she's beautiful and I'm not saying that it's bad how old she is, but it just fits with this line and I would give this show an Emmy just for this scene.

Do you remember this part? I know what he says. Yeah, what does he say? So he looks at her and he says, do you know at what point in your life you knew, like when you were little,

he goes, think back to when you were, he goes, when you were young, when you were a little he goes think back to when you were he goes when you were young when you were a young girl and he goes not like a a child but like a younger woman yeah do you remember at what point in your life you knew that you were gonna die alone and it was just so it's so but i saw it coming because the caption was up but if i wouldn't have i think i made might have loved this show because it would have really that that line was so that was a good line and the girl's face it while he says that the girl's face it's the right kind of bags under her eyes she

kind of has a smoker's pallor like they really nailed the makeup on this girl i know this girl i know this girl that keeps partying throughout her 30s or even and it could be a guy too has a chip on her shoulder she's mad because one guy broke her heart and gave her herpes and now she takes it out on the rest of everyone but maybe not herpes but you know what i mean like a guy deal but yeah a guy has treated her shitty she was very beautiful in college she probably over partied in college she probably got got addicted. And now she has a, a, an addiction to alcohol and she can't stop partying and her friends have fallen off and smoking cigarettes.

She's by herself in a bar. She lives alone. She doesn't have roommates. She's just listening to our podcast. Yeah. And you, you might be that girl, but you,

you probably, if you're listening to this podcast, you are not a bitch like that. But just that line really, I loved it because I felt it so hard because there have been times where i'm like i've had that realization that like i am of an age where most women my age are like married at at with with my level of success my i'm not i'm not bragging but like i'm a good looking lady yeah i i stay in, I'm social. I meet a lot of people.

Most, there's something going on with me that I don't have a partner. If I, if I do want one and I do want one. So there's something, if someone said that to me,

I would feel so seen and I think that's why I loved it. I want to get to really quick though. I felt like that for a very long time. Yeah. Until you met, oh, Brenna.

Brenna, we miss you so much, baby. I love you. I'm going to see you. i'm running to you baby tomorrow baby i i love her give her give her a hug around that tiny little waist for me oh god why is her waist so fucking tiny she sent me a photo yesterday like i hate this photo that like i don't it's a new hot that has emerged it's a new like I don't think girls had bodies like this

in the, when I was growing up. Like it is a type of body, the tiny waist, the perfect butt. Sorry to sexualize you, Brenna, but like,

tell your body like to stop being so hot. But she's just got like a tiny waist. It almost looks, it's the kind of body that like, I think a lot of girls

have like lipos a lot of skinny women out there have liposuction i didn't know that um everyone listening that when you see i always thought liposuction was for like already kind of bigger women to just make them a little less bigger no judgment there that's what i thought it was i didn't know skinny women like i could get liposuction and look like way like i could kind of turn into an instagram thought if i sucked out i could suck out my waist put it in my ass brenna looks like someone who's had that stuff done but that's like her natural body and i don't know where it comes like it's a new type of hot that has emerged and i don't know where it came from when she puts athletic clothes on, I'm like, why are you fucking me?

What is going on with the world? I ask myself that every other minute. No, we love you so much and we miss you, Brenna. We miss you. And I say that with sarcasm, but I actually do miss you and love you. And I'm so excited for all the good news in your life if you're listening. Really quick, we got to get to the news. But right before, I just want to give a shout out to everyone who was on our Instagram live

last night we had Noah we had 200 people which for we have like 14 point I think 2,000 followers on our Instagram which is insane and it really speaks volumes for how popular our show is because I know podcasts and how many followers they have when they

don't have a private account we have a private account so people have to request access and like want it right and that means we have pressed except 14 000 times which is kind of crazy too between the three of us but i'm not doing it mostly i think it's noah and um so you've pressed your phone 14 000 times and andrew it's you okay it's it's really a lot as andrew does a lot and i take it all as they're following me. I take all the wins. Yeah. Well, you should. You wrote the jokes.

And so last night, I just want to say that we did an Instagram live. I didn't know that Andrew had gone live on Nikki Glaser pod. I thought he went live on his. So I'm on my computer just in the background kind of being a bitch. Not a bitch, but like grumpy. You know, our normal self. Like not on, you know. And then I realized how important the besties are to me because as soon as I saw that it was Nikki Glaser Pod, I did a double take.

And I go, is that Nikki Glaser Pod? I go, Andrew, why didn't you tell me? I would have been so much nicer. Like I love our fans so much. I would have never been. I would have been fake. I wouldn't have been fake. I was just like,

it's not my, when Andrew goes live on his, it's not my, I am a, a bowl in the background. I'm a part of the set. I am not like a focal point. That's my name's on that. And I want to,

and I, and if they're watching, I never want to make a bestie feel like they're not seen because I appreciate you guys listening so much. And you know, as someone with low self-esteem, some days I'm like, why are they I gotta be honest like there's some days that I just go like they like me they really like me like Sally Field accepting an Oscar so I

appreciate you um but we went crazy last night it was so fun I I really Andrew I just want to thank you so much for um uh being down to to go first of, I never am someone who's like, let's go live. Andrew does it. And I'm always like, I guess I'll go, but I'm dying to go live. I will go live anytime. Even if it's on his account,

I love being in the background. I always never want to start it because I feel like it's so like, look at me. But I'll let Andrew do that because he's a man. He doesn't have a problem with asking for attention. I have it inside my bones that I don't deserve it even though I demand you guys listen to me an hour and a half every day um so none of this is really checking out Nikki

uh but anyway Andrew I just want to thank you for uh like that was so fun last night and um one of the besties requested the guitar and i was sitting there quietly like dying for someone to request that i play guitar because i like need to perform but i don't want to make anyone watch me i want someone to ask to watch me because i'm never gonna ask someone to watch me it's too embarrassing and you were talking about it uh probably five or six times where you're like i want to do a concert on zoom for like five or six people or anyone that's like into taylor swift and maybe i want to see it yeah like 20 30 people whatever and so i kind of was thinking about that in a way where i was like this could be this is a fun moment where

she can show her talents where it's where the stakes are lower and i'm right by you i'm having fun we had these microphones that are like oh yeah amplified that are unbelievable i don't know who makes these karaoke mics that got sent to me by cosmo magazine i did this video for them that's going to come up pretty soon where they sent me a bunch of stuff that's one is an inexpensive version and one's the expensive version and i was supposed to do a blind like uh appraisal of each of these like where i didn't know which was which but i forgot to give you the box to organize for me

so to make it blind. They were like, is someone there so they can take all the things out of the box so you don't know which is which? So I went through the box. I already knew

kind of some of the stuff, but one was these karaoke mics, and they're so cool. You guys got to get one. They're called like Bonnaroo or Bonnamike or something, but they're amazing, and the amplification of them, it's like they're called like bonnaroo or bonham mic or something but um they're amazing and the amplification of them it's like they're such a fun device well you'll see them a lot on our

instagram live because we'll be using it again but we were we were singing on them and then andrew went live and he started rapping about eggplants whether it's an egg or a plant great question and then i guess baby eggplants look like eggs that's why they got their name that way that's what someone said in our comments and then someone asked to play guitar i instantly picked up the guitar you you know i got up like an amp in the fucking room i picked up i had my own mic he had his little karaoke mic and we i got to sing all these taylor swift songs i pulled up the lyrics so he could sing with me some of them were terrible some of them were better than others i didn't read any comments because i was so scared someone was going to be like what am i

watching were positive thank you so much about me it was so freaking fun and that's why i'm a pony today a pony yeah a little horse oh oh i call it a pony oh i thought a pony like you're saying i was just bringing you in on a joke i already made, an inside joke that I had with the fans that you weren't in yet. I thought you're a pony because you're happy. I see a pony prancing like, I'm having a good time over here. I'm a pony in that way, and I'm also a little hoarse because I was screaming, I'm off the deep end. I mean, you sounded great.

Oh, thank you, Andrew. Let's get to the news. The news, apparently. Here we come. Oh, man. It's Thursday, but you know what that means. You're probably listening on Friday morning. However, I hope we have all the swell.

You have a great weekend out there. Be safe. Mask up. No condom. Okay, let's have fun. All right. First story. It's a big news story it's a doozy this one is actually a doozy um andrew como doesn't think he crossed the line as he resigns

he says he's italian i heard this i mean i mean it is wild the italian defense. I saw a license plate frame the other day on my run, and it said, I'm Italian on it. And I go, we know. It was a Vespa. You know some people just lean into being Italian so much, where they're like, I love family and food. I'm Italian. It's like, oh, yeah, you're real original.

Have you been to Italy? No. And I'm not trying to brag. But if you go to Italy, they're all, like, metrosexual men who wear, like, tight... Like, the idea of, like, the Italian men. I'm an Italian. I'm a poker. I'm a man. Sopranos.

Yeah, there's, like, Jersey Italian, and then there's, like, Italy Italian. Yeah, yeah. They would hate Italy Italians. Even though they wear jewelry and slick back their hair, and they're metrosexual in their own way. Yes. But while being manly. Yes. But it's just so funny to me.

And they like kiss and they hold hands down the street and stuff. Did you see those two Olympians that were nearly making out because they were on the same team, track and field team? And they start kissing each other and like hugging each other. They're two really hot guys that are just so excited they won gold and one's being interviewed and the other comes up and it's just like jumping on. I don't know if they're Italian, but they were some kind of European where like,

it's okay for men to show affection and kiss each other. It was so hot. It's on a subreddit called suddenly gay that I follow where like things start out like not gay. And then suddenly it gets really gay and it's really, it's a great i thought it meant like you suddenly become gay from what you're watching oh that could be too but no it's usually like what's happening becomes kind of gay i mean this idea that you know whatever you know

times have changed back in my day i could you know finger a girl's asshole and that's just being italian and 60 you know i know i i argument, though, with some stuff of like, oh, I used to say that word. Yes, that's true. Because back then that word wasn't taboo, and I didn't know it was wrong. You know, the N-word just became bad. I'm just kidding.

But he kept groping them today. So you can't. You need to change with it, yes. He could say back in 1970, I might have kissed a girl's neck. He's like, it's in my blood. It's in my, it's, check my 23andMe. It's just a guy grabbing a girl's tits.

Yeah. I'm up 85% grabbing tits over here. 23andMe is the name of the lawsuit filed by the 23, 24 women who have, you know, had to deal with greeting him in a private hallway. Yeah, I'm sure that Italian-Americans are rolling their eyes at this and their cannolis. Do you roll a cannoli? A corolli? A gnocchi?

But there was a time during COVID, covet do you remember for like two months where he was god you know it's just so funny when these politicians like these girls plenty of women that i knew were like i want to fuck andrew como oh yeah there was a saying i forget what it was there's something about like a cuomo sexual yeah i'm a homosexual oh yeah see that's a thing we used to be able to say and and now we can't anymore. No, that is really interesting. He was like, you know, he was heralded as this hero, and he was going.

He got an Emmy. He got an Emmy. What did he get an Emmy for? Didn't he put out a book before he cured COVID? He put out a book, yeah, during COVID, saying how wonderfully he handled it, which he didn't. I'm sorry, This is a narcissist. These are all the signs of a narcissist who, when these people come out and get me too'd,

I mean, literally every single man who has been me too'd has, I would say maybe not Matt Lauer. That was one that I really was shocked by because he just, he never like came off to me like a uh like an asshole yeah uh before that like i'm sure people that if i knew anyone who worked with him they would have been like oh he's an asshole and then and they wouldn't have even shared a me too story just like he's not fun to work with share me one example of someone who is disgusting with women

and feels entitled to women who work beneath him or are on the same level a lot of times or above him just feels entitled to women and show me that man who is also nice to men I think that there's one case in particular that I remember this all opened wide for me was a personal friend of mine who worked on a show with one of these dudes that have been me too'd said that um he was triggered by all the stories coming out about this man doing gross things to women because he was a man who worked for this guy on a show and and the stories that of this man making women uncomfortable and degrading them and he said we're so similar in nature to how he felt just um not sexually being uh obviously preyed upon but just humiliated in the office

bullied um powerless all of those feelings men that generally do the gross things to women are doing gross things to everyone and if you want to know who's doing gross things to women are doing gross things to everyone. And if you want to know who's doing gross things to men or to women, look who's just being an asshole. Look who you work with who is just a despicable asshole who thinks he's above everyone else. And that's someone who probably does disgusting things to men or women based on their sexual preference. Yeah. does disgusting things to men or women based on their sexual preference yeah i mean i there was i forget who wrote the tweet but do you think that an adult an adult can be groomed right there's no age on on like we can all be power driven but at what point do you think an adult has agency over

their own like decisions where it's like, well, you could have made it, you could have not done that. You know what I mean? When you don't work for them, your money, your financial stability and your job doesn't depend on them. They're not in a position of power over you dictated by how much they make

or the corporate ladder. And I mean, yeah you got to have some kind of that's why I like got mad at Joseph Gordon-Levitt for his character seemed to be the victim of this woman's aggression when it's really like well why'd you go home with this girl who was nothing but mean to you before that and I'm not saying he deserved that because he like asked for it but yeah I mean when I've been doing press about f boy and everyone's like how do you know the difference between f boy and i'm like i if i'm attracted to them they're probably an f boy and that's because i need to work on myself to be attracted to something that's not

like i have some agency in the fact that i've been manipulated and heartbroken by men so both could be true i guess i guess you could say i, I should have had a little bit more agency. Also, they had power over me, so I couldn't do it. You know what I mean? And these women shouldn't have been wearing the highest Italian fashions. I mean, if you're going to wear a Valentino, you're going to get your boob agrabbo. I was really grasping for that. But no, I mean, I never, like in a position of power with someone like Cuomo, who just like thinks he's above everything.

He's got to be so annoying. Just look for the people who think they're better than everyone. Doesn't he always look sweaty? Yes. He just looks like he's always sweaty and he probably has a wife beater on underneath. And if that man tried to hug me or molest me,

I would be frozen in fear and allow it because he has this intimidating give him what he wants vibe and that and honestly he looks sweaty and deranged like he could hurt you that's the thing people always go why didn't look like with the louis thing of did he block the door he was masturbating in the in front of the women he didn't block the door when a guy is jerking off in front of you out of nowhere even if it's not out of nowhere, even when he goes, I'm about to take out my dick. Is that cool? And it's just,

even that statement is out of nowhere. As a woman, you just don't know what else they're capable of. I know. And then you show your teeth. And then you show your teeth and then he goes, nevermind, I'm putting my dick away.

Let's get to the next story. Too much teeth. Okay, this one, I don't know if it's a doozy. I think the second story always has to be a doozy no matter what. Okay, many parents are saying no to sleepovers because of anxieties like sexual abuse, but child development experts say sleepovers can be an important developmental step for children, helping them navigate independence, practice flexibility, and gain exposure. Yeah. Different family cultures, like Italians.

I would be reluctant to allow my daughter or son, who was of an age. But you remember sleepover. I mean, sleepover, when I was a kid, it was so cool to sleep. At what age did you guys start sleepovers? Well, my parents literally sent us to sleepover camp for two months. They sent my little brother to sleepaway camp when he was six. I mean. For two months.

Six years old. Is that the most wild thing you've ever heard? That is. And it wasn't even our camp that we were at. It was a camp like a couple miles down the road. But he was six. I mean. For two months.

It is. It was wild. That breaks my heart for the road, but he was six for two months. It is. It was wild. That breaks my heart for your brother. I mean, I was like, I think I was eight or nine when I got sent to sleep away. But anyways, sleepovers. If you wanted to go, that's different. I would just be worried about any men that live at the house, any fathers, brothers, if I had a daughter or a son.

And if I think at about the age of like 13, I would be like, we, and I'm not a parent and I have no idea what I would actually do. So just please listen to this with a grain of salt as someone who's not a parent. So I don't understand what it's actually like. But I would think that I would be a little bit cautious under the age of 13 if i had a child that was i would i would need to prepare them that if anything ever happened

i would probably give the same dog my mom gave which is never be alone with a man in a room if if he looks like someone that could hold you down and like you couldn't get away don't be alone because and if and if you are like i I don't know, hold your phone. So it does that emergency thing. I don't, I would be just like cautious of the adult men at a sleepover as more so than the bullying that might happen from the children. But don't you like, I remember sleepovers. I, I don't, I mean, I know obviously this happens, but I just don't remember the parents

ever really being, it would be like me and Jeff are going to go play Sega for six hours and then sleep. And, you know, yeah, I just don't remember hanging out with the parents at all. And I'm not saying that that I just wonder, like, how close do you have to be with the other parents to feel comfortable sending your kid that? Like, could it just be another kid on the team and you don't really even ever met the father or like how how well should the parents know i would want to just like know what kind of house they're going to i would want to i would just want to meet the parents because i feel like i could not that you can always get a vibe of who's going to molest your child or not certainly that's not the case these people are great at grooming and convincing everyone in child's life that they're in good hands um but no i would i would be uh i would just make sure my child knows that uh they or i would do my best because you can never know for sure to

make sure that my child is comfortable telling me anything weird that happens and it's okay to make a huge scene if you feel uncomfortable at all and that you will never be i will never be mad at you for um like being scared of something that isn't actually there or something you know what i mean and yeah and i also think though like there is in the article it talks about how like you should give your kid the ability to have freedom to then make choices even if they are uncomfortable not like molestation but like something you, you know, just going somewhere else. If you shelter them too much, essentially, they're not going to become good adults. Yeah.

So there is a line there. Do you remember any like sleepovers for yourself like that were weird or not like sexually weird, but like that were funny or anything? Would you have a lot of sleepovers? You know, yeah. I mean, that's all my friends and I did was sleep over at each other's houses and it was like the most fun thing i would never deny my children that experience because it was just it it created such one of my first ever sleepovers i call i had to leave because i was crying in the middle of night because uh because i i was thinking of freddy krueger. They sent me to a boot camp.

Oh, you were crying about Freddy Krueger. Yeah, I was like eight or something. I was like crying, and my mom had to come get me at like two in the morning. I couldn't sleep through the night. She had to drunk drive over there. Well, yeah. I picked me up on her bike, a bicycle,

and dragged me home on pegs but yeah one time I got I was at a sleepover did you face consequences for that at school did people make fun of you

do you remember anyone making fun of you for that I don't think the kid went to my school I think he was on my like team and no I never faced

not that I know of I'm sure they probably talked to me your parents probably changed schools for you they were like we don't want you to have to deal with the fallout from this.

We're going to switch schools, send you away to a different place. I remember one time we were pillow fighting, me and my friends, and I fell back. I hit my head on the corner of the fire, like a fire pit or like whatever. What is it called? A fireplace. Fireplace. And I cracked my head open. I'm gushing blood.

And I'm just running around with blood coming down and going, you did it now. You did it now. Oh, you did it now. That's a hilarious thing to be saying. I don't even know what it means. It sounds like something your mom would say. It sounds like something you got from a mom. Yeah, you did it.

Oh, well, you did it now. You know how kids kind of pick up things that their parents say? Like, there's that one little girl that goes, well, if the monster shows up, I'm going to be like, what are you doing here, asshole? Like, there's a little girl that's like, get out of my room, you asshole. And it's like, oh, you know that girl? Here's her dad. No, I wet the bed. Oh.

I just pretended. Like, I blacked it out because it was so traumatic. I wet the bed. And I was just pretended. I blacked it out because it was so traumatic. I wet the bed. I was a bed wetter until fourth grade. But third grade, I wet the bed at Molly Collier's house. And what happened? And Ellie Vuga and Molly were there. And Monday morning at school, there was show and tell.

And Molly didn't have anything to show. So she raised her hand and told the whole i'm not joking you raised her hand and this was at a point in my life where i would go to the nurse every day because i was just so scared of i was like a dork and no one liked me and so i'd go to the nurse every day and just be sick so i could go home and i thought about running away from school multiple times like i just like hated be I hate I was just like had no friends and like was such a dork and like yeah I just hated it and Molly was like my first friend and then Ellie became her friend and Ellie was like a supreme bully and uh and I wet the bed

and either Molly or Ellie shared with the class that Nikki Glazer, Nikki wet the bed at, yeah, I think it was Ellie. She was like, Nikki wet the bed at Molly's house on Friday night. And I'm not joking. We had a substitute teacher that day. I went over to his desk and said, I have to go. I was like, after show and tell, I think she got yelled at for sharing it. Everyone like, I think I blacked out because I don't remember the response because it must have been terrible.

And I walked over to the desk and I remember saying, you know, I waited long enough that it didn't seem connected. But I was like, I don't feel good. Can I go to the nurse? And I remember the substitute teacher was like a boy. He was probably in his 20s and he just goes he I remember him knowing that he knew I was lying but that he was like yeah get out of here kid and like was just like I I know what you're running from right now and I remember being so embarrassed that he knew and like almost literally had almost written it already for me and was like I was just waiting

for you to come up here get out of here and I and i went to the nurse and just like you know cried and and then my mom got a call from the counselor in fourth grade um i had suffered with like the embarrassment of that all through third grade into fourth grade at molly and ellie i had no friends i'm also gonna cry because it was like the worst time my that's when i met kirsten was fourth grade thank god because i had no friends but i remember mrs pole was our uh counselor at our school she would always come in with like a puppet dragon to talk about about the dangers of smoking or whatever i don't know like that's probably too young for that you probably grow a puppet on your hand what i just feel like that might be a thing from what keep going this is i mean i don't even know what...

I just wonder what you were doing just then. Who wrote that for you? So... So then... Divish. So she walked in. I don't even know what you said, Divish. I'm not getting your train of thought at all.

So she walked in. I remember my fourth grade class. This is months and months. I mean, it's a whole school year after that incident. She walks into my class. And all i want is to be invisible i don't ever want anyone to single me out i definitely you know being in trouble or being singled out is like the worst um thing i could imagine or being on the show singled out and so um she walked in my class like disrupted mrs heatherington's lesson. You know, she popped in.

And you know when the door opens, everyone in the class turns and is like, someone's at the door. And Mrs. Hetherington's like, yes, Mrs. Pohl. And she was like, hey, can I see Nikki Glaser? And I remember just being like, what the fuck could this be? I've never been like singled out. She was like, can I see Nikki Glaser? Mrs. Pohl only grabbed kids that were like come from divorced families.

And those kids got to like come and go to this like special class. She called me to her office. And she was like, is anything going on in your life that you want to talk about? And I was just like, no. And she was like, are you sure? I was just like, no. And I was just freaked out. I felt like I was in, I don't know what I did.

And she was like, maybe something that happened at Mollylly's house and i was just like what a year before this was a year later like the next school year and i was just like no and she was like did maybe you wet the bed and i was just like how does this woman know this woman i i mean at the time i think she was cold i thought she was cold calling parents trying to drudge up business being like does your kid have any developmental issues that I could maybe talk to them about? But what I now think is that I was just so fucked up. And obviously something was happening with me that Mrs. Hetherington had told Mrs. Pohl, like, call Nikki's mom and figure out what's going on. And my mom ratted me out and said, Nikki wet the bed at Molly Collier's

and is being bullied for it. And so my mom, I remember never trusting my mom again because she had told Mrs. Pult my secret that she wouldn't have known. And it was humiliating and became this whole issue. It was just awful. So every day, like when you have to go into class though, like you would think about what they're gonna though like you were you would think you would think

about what they're gonna say what they're thinking about you i remember wedding i was i it was the first time i thought i have to kill my i don't want to cry it was like the like to be in fourth grade and think you want to kill yourself um i did not expect to cry just now because i just realized like that was like that's so sad for like an 8 year old to like think that they're gonna have like I just remember being like I'm gonna have to kill myself one day because if

anyone ever like if anyone else if this keeps following me or like I just actually I just knew that I would have to like that that it was I'm so glad more people didn't find out because I would have like i was that you probably would have wet the casket too but i just remember for some reason i remember the moment i realized i was gonna have to kill myself when i was in fourth grade was like i was

staring at a blinking vcr for some reason i was probably despondently staring at a blinking i just remember a blinking 12 o'clock you know when it's like reset. It was like late at night at my cousin's house. And I was like, I can't believe I have to kill myself. Like, I don't, I want to like keep living, but I can't. If this, and it was like, I think I was like scared it was going to get out a little bit more or something. Like there was something that was happening like on Monday, I'm going to find out if everyone knows or no one knows and it was like and and then it it just became so beautifully ironic that like now i make my living off of saying like the most embarrassing things like i remember thinking like if anyone finds out i'll die i will i didn't really know how i was gonna do it but i just remember being like i don't want to die but i

like have to and that just like made me cry because i just realized how fucking sad like if if i ever had an eight-year year old who wanted to kill themselves, like how awful, like for a child to feel that way. Like I don't think until this moment, I realized that that thought had crossed my mind at such a young age. And it just makes me very sad for like my young self. So I'm sorry.

I'm crying. No, let's get to why do I care? Oh, we're going to go to break. We're taking a pee break real quick. I'm just going to do it in the chair. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How To Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here.

If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all you were doing was talking about your thing in class.

I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And Slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. Like I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect podcast network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapaport. And my gift to you is a free subscription to the i am

rapaport stereo podcast where i discuss entertainment sports politics and anything and everything that catches my attention i am here to call it as i see it and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history ever. Fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice and the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice, Roy Cohen, real character, obviously, both are real characters.

It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report stereo podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard

to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture.

This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow

Sonata Matreya Kathleen Hanna and the RZA these are conversations you won't hear anywhere else so make sure you go back

and you check those episodes out alright listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. All right, pee-pee pants, you ready?

It's pee-pee bad. I didn't have pants on. What? At a sleepover with i probably had her italian dad there i probably had a little like uh you know nightie nightgown oh nightie sounds sexual okay we have we have to go come on okay becky hammond who will be entering the eighth season as an assistant coach in the nba is considered to be one of the top coaching candidates and she doesn't want an NBA team to check a box in hiring her as a head coach.

So she might be up or she is up for a head coaching role. First woman head coach ever in the NBA. Yeah. And she just made a big statement about like, I don't want to be fucking hired because I'm a woman. And I don't want it to be that be the headline for the rest of my life. I just want to be a person that gets a job because I'm qualified for it which is so annoying that she even has to make a statement like that but I mean I think it's important to make a statement like

that but I uh I uh I really care about this because I I relate to this as like someone who constantly gets the question of being a female in comedy being in a male-dominated profession what's it like to be a woman there's a your next comedian's a lady you know yeah I don't get any more because I'm famous enough that I have a name for myself but so often you your whole identity is being a woman in stand-up and um I just never thought of myself as a woman and I just didn't think I was different than the guys I compared myself to men um so I kind of get that of being like wait why do I so I'm I'm like held to a less a small like the bar isn't as high for me and like if I'm even as good as men people are like whoa she's really good like I want to be as good as Chappelle, not like whatever. But the thing is, there's not really like any women Chappelle's.

Yeah. All the best, all the men who are the kings of standup and the ones that we go are like the legends. Joan Rivers is the only female standup that like even gets close to that. I mean, you could say Ellen, but she's more of a talk show host now. And no one's really like, they don't put her up there with Carlin, Pryor, Chappelle, Rock, Seinfeld. I mean, the list goes on and on for male standups. There's not we will give credit to female standups for sure.

And there's some that, you know, have big names, but not like that. Yeah. I mean, I think like she is in a sport too. I think there's certain sports like if a head coach was in the NFL was a woman, it would be even more surprising because most women, you know, don't actually play football. Women play basketball. Women understand basketball. Could the man, men, man game, the men game be a little different because,

you know, they dunk more and shit like that. But she has a great understanding of it. And there's plenty of male coaches in the NBA that never played in the NBA that probably didn't even play as much as her. Okay, let me just... This is the end of discussion. It's just reiterating your point.

I used to watch female gymnastics in 1996, and I used to think, Bella Caroli, what the fuck is this old fat Russian man screaming at this little girl about how she didn't land it right you couldn't walk a straight line if your life depended on it you old booze bag how dare you tell a woman

how to flip and admonish her for not he couldn't did he ever flip though that's my only question as a kid like he wasn't a gymnast that would be my argument is that at one he wasn't a gymnast i i that would be my argument is that at one point he was a gym my point is is like at one point she you know these people never even played football but i see what you're saying i see what you're saying yeah did

this woman play basketball um yes yes i don't know her like history but i'm almost a thousand percent sure she played a shit ton of basketball coaching does not require you to be a man but for some reason we think it does yeah when you think coach I mean unless it's of a female league you would never hear

coach and think woman and how are these big men listening to a little girl like that's like god I would never be able to listen to her. I mean, it just, misogyny runs so fucking deep. And I know it's not most men. And I don't, like, and they can't help it. They can't fucking help it.

It's just the way it is. Well, I hope she gets the job and shows that even a woman can be last in. Yes. Wouldn't that be so funny? She ends up becoming coach. Let's get to print fan tracks. Fan tracks. Mega.

All right. Fan tracks. Let's do it. This is, uh, the listener mail messages, voice mail from, uh,

from our besties. Uh, what, who are we starting with?ah let's go with emily all right emily voice memo hi no jerky i'm emily from sacramento i'm a long time listener and fan of you guys um so i just finished listening to the podcast called a kangaroo stampede of emotions i've been traveling for the last couple of weeks, so I wasn't able to listen to the podcast very much. And I'm so glad I tuned back in for this one.

I laughed a lot and then I cried and it was really beautiful. Like you, Nikki, I struggle with perfection and feeling like I'm not good enough. So I just appreciate you and the message you shared on the pod. I can't wait to see you guys in San Francisco in December. I promise you could never disappoint me. Also, quick story I wanted to share. My boyfriend was picking something on his back yesterday and asked me to take a look at it. It was a wart, and the first thing I said when I saw it was, you know who would love to pick at that?

Nikki Glaser. All right, all the swells, guys. Love you guys so much. Bye. Love you so much. Thank you so much. What a nice, concise, beautiful message. You know, you can tell she wrote out the first part and was reading it.

I appreciate the effort that goes into being like, I don't want to ramble. Her perfection. Yeah, perfectionism. That's what she just talked about. It's so sweet, that little cutie. I wonder what she wrote it on, like her notes and her phone or if she wrote it by hand. That is so nice.

Thank you for relating to that perfectionism and that episode in which I had a lot of emotions. And today you heard them too. They're coming out in little like fits. I told you yesterday I feel like a clenched fist. I feel so much anxiety. Not anxiety

but just like I just am so pent up and I think it's just getting sometimes it just sneaks out and I can't help it. It's like pee when you're sleeping in third grade or when you're like an older woman and you laugh and you pee and you have to start wearing diapers.

I think maybe it's not a woman thing, but I just know that most of the people I talk to are women that start leaking pee when they laugh. I don't know. That's how i feel about crying now it's just like god why it's like a out of nowhere like it's the sun is shining and like you're like is it raining and then it's bird shit uh so thank you that was a that was a lovely note and it really made me feel great when you said there's no way you could be disappointed me that

like really puts the pressure off thank you jack hey besties jack from kansas city here hey jack i just listened to the episode that came out today it's like the fourth of august or something uh where we got into the little spiraling reddit post situation um and just felt compelled to leave this voice memo. Just wanted to say that I feel like for every person that has like those thoughts or makes those posts, there's even more people who just find it relatable, myself included. Sometimes I find myself questioning myself. That didn't sound right.

Why I relate to this podcast so much being a 23 year old white straight man i don't really know why all of that makes a difference but either way i find it very relatable and enjoyable um and i loved what you said a couple i don't know if it was weeks or episodes ago about how this is what you want to do forever so buckle up for the long haul just love that excited for that and then i also figured while i'm here i would give you probably my worst mispronunciation of all time uh in college i got invited to a scholarship banquet and i was reading out the agenda to a group of friends and the first thing on the agenda was at whatever time I said that they were starting with whores divorce

which was which was just hors d'oeuvres why is it spelled like that whores do divorce you know because they're just whores and they can't stop fucking and they can't keep a relationship that's whores divorce is so funny every fucking. And they can't keep a relationship.

My white trash. Whores divorce is so funny. Every time I think of hors d'oeuvres, I just think of those eggs with the mayonnaise. Deviled eggs? Yeah. No, those aren't white trash. I feel like they could be a white trash hors d'oeuvre, but they're also at really nice functions. Yeah, that is true. Or maybe I'm white trash and I think that makes a function classy you know when it's classy they put a little that red pepper on there

i think or paprika that might be i love how you describe things and you get you're like oh yes this like that's funnier to say it's like red red colored dust or whatever you said um thank you so much jack that is uh first of all you should have written it down first before yeah that's what i was thinking too i mean a little i'm just kidding no i i loved it i i don't require any jack please do not think that you have to i i like i like both versions whatever works for you. Jack, thank you so much for relating to the show and for also saying that, yeah, I guess I don't know. You know, like you read one bad comment and you forget all the good things.

And yeah, and I assume that people, I like when the people that I enjoy watching show me their flaws and show me their the worst sides of their character because I think that so much of me growing up and looking at people like that I would idolize Jennifer Aniston's and Jennifer Love Hewitt's and like you know just like anyone all the Jennifer's Jennifer Coolidge, Jennifer Gray, everyone. You know, celebrities didn't have flaws until the past couple of years. Like it just became kind of in to show your flaws.

And like that's like a really admirable thing. When I grew up, like they all seemed perfect. There was never anything wrong with any of these people and so i just i'm just doing i'm showing those sides of myself because i it makes me feel free and it also i know that um someone out there that might like put me on a pedestal it's nice to knock me off it so you just know that like the stars are just like yeah yeah just like but but yeah i uh that's why tabloids were so big back in the day it's like jennifer aniston eats a donut you know it's like that's why that shit was so big back then the worst beach bodies i fucking loved looking at people's cell like celebrity cellulite yeah yeah

yeah i would buy a a magazine called celebrity cellulite back in the, like, I would have bought that, like, just to see their flaws. I was so hungry for these people to show me that they were like me or that I could be them or, you know, it's just so nice when you hear people have flaws. A lot of actors, they say, oh, we don't show our flaws or our personal life because you can't then separate that from the, uh, when you're watching a show or whatever. It's like,

I can know Jennifer Aniston, uh, has cellulite and still think she's great in the morning show. Like, or I could know that she, you know, fucking takes shits on Wednesdays on top of, you know,

a dresser, whatever it is, something weird. It wouldn't like, I couldn't not separate it we want them to be perfect even though they're playing roles like we know they're being fake like they're doing they're not themselves in the role they're playing so why do we need to think that they're it's yeah it is interesting but there are some times though that

you see a celebrity that you have put on a pedestal and they are they do have like a human moment like when taylor swift does something that like quote-unquote disappoints me where i'm like oh i wish she was cooler about that it like i get mad because it like i want her to be perfect i want more i expect more perfectionism from her than i would expect for myself and it's just yeah even though i love her because she writes songs about not being perfect and having complex feelings. So I get caught in both sides of it still to this day. Do we have any, do we have one more to take us into our final thought?

This one's from Nicole. Yeah, good name. Hey, Nikki, Andrew, and Noah. I know that you asked for more. Oh, my God. Can we just pause it for one second? This is the hottest voice I think we ever got. It's not hot.

It's ASMR, dude. It's soothing as shit. Wait, let's start it again. Everyone just get cozy with a cup of tea. Yeah, sit by a dog by a fire. Put a sleep mask on. Don't hit your head on the back of the fireplace and scream oh what you did it now you did it now um but yeah just get cozy next to a fireplace and let's take in nicole's uh

soothing soft-spoken voice hey nikki andrew and noah i know that you asked for more hey babe moments so here is mine um a couple years ago when i was at the hairdresser one time i had to answer a phone call for some reason and after i hung up my hairdresser goes you know you would have a great phone sex voice and i never went to him again. Thanks. Oh, my God. Well, she's done listening to this podcast. I am so sorry, Nicole. We did not know.

We had no idea. We didn't know, Nicole. And by the way, I want to say, if you replay the tape, I did not say sexy. I said that. To me, there was nothing sexy about it. I said that. About ASMR voice.

Yeah, you could make so much money I did not say sexy I said to me there was nothing sexy I said that about ASMR voice yeah ASMR voice yeah you could make so much money if you did phone sex no ASMR you really could

I mean girl look into it I would what about ASMR porn I mean they do it yeah it definitely has been done

and some people think ASMR is sexual and it's not I guess for some people it is but yeah no that's a really inappropriate comment for your favorite podcast co-host or a hairdresser to make about your voice when you're just trying to answer your phone or be a good fan and leave a voice memo.

That was unbelievable. That was so funny. Nicole, I hope you laughed at that. And I love that there's only two people in the world listening to this, Noah and Nicole, who knew how ironic it was that we said that about her voice. But, Nicole, I mean, that voice is so good. It's so good. How do you walk around with a voice like that? I mean, like, I would be putting myself to sleep all the time.

Like, it's beautiful. Yeah. I mean, I really got tingles in the back of my head in a way that I needed that after I cried before. Like I that just felt so soothing, like a hug from my mom that not the mom that I have, because that feels weird. That would feel out of character for her to give me a comforting hug. Not because she doesn't love me, but because it's just not in her nature but that felt really good that felt so hey Nikki Andrew hey Nikki wait I want to like

even try to be wait hey new Dricky hey I can't even do it it's like I don't have the capabilities to be that soothing we have to go I have to go catch up. Oh, wait. Let's do it again.

Hey, Nikki, Andrew, and Noah. I know that you asked for more hey, babe moments. Oh, my God, Nicole. Okay, I am horny now. You know what? You take it back? I take it back. I actually am on board i think um i want to go to your hairstylist because he is uh he's he's got a good ear yeah hey nicky let's end

it with asmr ready let i'll i'll go first and then you end it and i'll go you guys thank you so much for listening this weekend. You have all the swells. Oh. Bye, guys. Thank you for listening. That was me crumpling up a note from one of our besties that I was going to read, but I forgot to. So shout out to Will Jones. He said, give me a shout out on the pod.

I read your note, and thank you so much for sending it to me and writing it on the back of a random piece of paper. And I love you and thank you so much. We'll see you on Monday. Have a great weekend. Don't be care and share. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well,

you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment

to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.

With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower.

You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network

every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast

every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcast.