The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #99 I Guess You Needed It w/ Lisa Lampanelli

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Between you and Nikki, you have seven times more in you than you might think and it is a good thing to be uncomfortable. Andrew is lowering his mirror time as a means of being less critical of himself. Lisa Lampanelli legend/host of the podcast Losers With A Dream joins and the conversation gets even more elevated. They discuss positive framing like, "I got to", noticing your moods and feelings and ensuring that you spend your time doing things that are fun. Lisa shares her wisdom and gets Nikki to have an epiphany and Andrew to get a little testy. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hey, guys. Welcome to the Nikki Glaser Podcast, Wednesday edition. We got a special guest on the show today. Lisa Lampanelli is going to be here with us. My policy on the show regarding Gus is like only the best, right? Like, you know, I love Lisa so much. She is someone who, ironically enough, after my, it just perfectly timed because after I shared on the show, I think it was yesterday that I was thinking about getting into more like self-help talks, public speaking, like away from just the cynicism

and the escapism and the kind of, what's it, the insincerity of stand-up comedy that is so much of what attracted me to it initially because you can cut everything that's painful with a joke and then you don't have to like go to the pain and now that I've like been more into going to those places like it makes sense that comedy for stand-up comedy for me was the perfect outlet to tell the truth that was in my heart, but also not really go to the painful places because what is comedy? I mean, it helps us cope with pain by like not actually addressing it, if you're being honest with yourselves. Like, yes, it's very therapeutic, clowns in hospitals, like kids need to laugh, like laughing is good for your stress and your um just everything your health but I think that a lot of times it's a defense mechanism and I found that that's one of my biggest pet peeves

of hanging out with comics is that you can't get a real conversation off the ground because there's always someone that's gonna throw a joke in everyone laughs and then everything resets and so you can't go back into that uncomfortableness that was just there. You know, like, life is so uncomfortable that, you know, we, I, and I hate to reference Louis here, but I mean, Louis CK actually did give me so many things in life that I refer back to. He also taught taught me to that i was very lucky to not have penises pulled out in front of me but because of all the guys i hung with out with after shows and went up to their hotel rooms to like smoke pot or just hang out and write jokes like i just got lucky

that no one did that to me um but there's like pieces of wisdom i reading something about, like he was just talking about phone screens. Maybe it was in his bit about like his kids on phones and him being just an amazing dad, which is always the, if you've ever noticed with certain comedians, like the world around them is crazy, but they're a good person. And when they do reveal bad things, they do, they're never, they're always, it's, well, I actually, for him, he, Louis did actually admit to some things that I'm like, wow, that's, it's great to hear you say that you're a bad person, but the extent of it, I don't think was, we ever really reached. That aside, did he owe that to us? I don't know. My point is he he once I was reading an article about how he

would run five miles every day and that to me I'm not into that but what he said was like there would be a point in it that he would want to quit like there's when you're running five miles no matter how like it's especially someone with his build like he's always he knows that that is the amount of miles where there's always going to be a point where he's like fuck this everything my body's telling me to quit the uncomfortableness where it's like you can you know you have it in you to get through it because you've done it before but you've got to persevere past that and that that doing that every day would teach him that he you know when there was a time on set where he would want to throw in the towel after a long shoot day or there's like you know sometimes I'm I reference that all the time

it just taught him he can persevere like I know that seals I remember there was something about like the seal team or something they always say that when you want to quit like when you're working out and you're in like a spin class let's say one of those insane classes that I refuse to take that it just makes you want to pass out and like vomit because you're so exhausted you have seven times that amount in you before you really your body will really quit they say it's just so much it's mental fatigue and I always reference this but I love this there was a radio lab about an endurance runner, this woman who would run, you know, these 120, 200 mile races. And she was a runner before that, but never competed at that level. She was in a car accident or something happened to her brain where a part of her brain

was injured that had to do with short term memory. So she was regenerating. She'd forget where she was constantly. She had long termating. She'd forget where she was constantly. She had long-term memory, but her short-term memory was constantly restarting. And so she all of a sudden was able to do endurance runs out of nowhere. Like she went from being like maybe a half marathon runner to like these 200 milers and she could just go. And the thing that they discovered was that so much of our exhaustion when we're working out is because we know how long we've been doing it. So when you think it's the beginning constantly, you have this energy of it's the beginning. And when you don't know where you are in something, you know, a road trip.

Say you're on the last hour and you're just like, oh, or you have two hours left. The two hours are always the worst because it's not an hour. Hour you get like a surge because you're like, it's almost the end. But let's say it's like halfway through and it's maybe a 10 hour road trip. Sometimes when I'm on a run or a road trip like that or a long trip or an exhausting day, I think about what's the energy I can bring to this that I had when I first started. That's more for runs. I did it the other day. I was at the last mile of my run and I was really trying to clock in at a speed I wanted to do. I wanted to beat the speed and I don't look at my time. I'm just kind of like, wait till it's over. And I go, did I do it? And this last mile, I was

like, so tired. I was like, just give up and just know that it's going to be slower. And I was like, wait a second, let me just pretend like I just started running. And I swear to God, I looked at my map later on where it shows how fast you were that moment because I remember where it was the tree I was looking at when I go just pretend it's the first one. Remember that radio lab episode where that girl had a short short term memory and she could do infinite amount of miles. And I was able to like conjure some speed that I didn't know I had. And that brings me back to the Louis thing of like the uncomfortable like we just don't want to be uncomfortable ever.

And that's what's so helpful about our screens. It offers us like immediate distraction from whatever feelings bubbling up inside when I reach for that like handful of food that I'm just going to mindlessly eat when I'm watching. Like the things we do, we're checking out because we don't want to feel because feelings are scary and like they're the worst. And we don't know what's going to happen on the other side of them. Sometimes I'm like if I start crying, I'll never stop crying and then I'll drown in my tears, which doesn't happen. You don't die from feelings. No one's ever died from feelings. Although maybe there's some research behind that. But I just feel like I'm really excited to talk to Lisa today because she's someone who was – you guys, I'm not kidding you when I say her and Louis C.K. are the two people I went to go see live when I was in Kansas City going to school in Lawrence, Kansas, a comic at the Stanford and Sons Comedy Club.

As an emcee there, I would get to go to shows for free. And Lisa Lampanelli was one of the first comics I emceed for. But before that, she came through the club, and I went to go see her with Kirsten, my friend who you know. And I remember just how rapid fire this woman was in a way that it wasn't me being naive and like, wow, I could tell the difference between good and bad comedy back then. I really could. And she was just someone that was, had a

line for everything. And, you know, she probably had most of the room convinced that she was coming up with this stuff on the fly, including me. But even looking back thinking, how did she have a line for that guy and that guy and that guy's shirt and that guy's hair and that girl's top and like just non-stop jokes and it was because I mean she had written those jokes and used them and crafted over time but there was no one I could say that killed harder than her that I've witnessed there's been very few it was Louie and her that I witnessed there that like blew the roof off the place in my my I was gasping for air there's few comedians that make me gasp and she's been one of them and she also would say the most offensive things I mean very much cancelable for the stuff that she used to say the slurs she used

like she used to really go there and and then you know the, she's a predecessor of mine that was someone I watched when I would prepare for the roast and say, if I could only get to that level. And then someone else who took a lot of shit on the roast. It's one thing to be a woman on these roasts. It's one thing to be an older woman who is like the one that's going to be the brunt of all fat jokes because she's a size bigger than the other girl on stage. So one girl has to be fat. You've got to have a fat woman on the dais because that's just such a goldmine. So she took a lot of abuse.

She gave it back. She obviously was in a lot of pain. And then I did the roast of Ronnie the limo driver with her on Stern and this was the first time I had really come in contact with her since I worked with her in Kansas City and I avoided her when I worked with her because I was not one of these comedians that was like well you watch my act can I have advice I was just like I suck I'm gonna stay out of the way and just learn what I can and um I met her at Stern I I was so nervous. I was doing the roast of Ronnie the Limo Driver. It was my, I think, first appearance on the show itself,

and it was Jim Brewer, me, and Lisa backstage, and Lisa was so nice. She had, like, a short haircut. She dyed her hair green or blue or something, and she was like, this is my last roast. This is my last time I'm quitting stand-up. And I'm announcing it on the show. I was like, what are you talking about?

You're quitting stand-up. She's like, you'll hear all about it. And then she goes up there. She slays on the roast and then announces on Howard Stern while I'm sitting there that she's quitting stand-up and getting into self-help. She has a new podcast coming out called, what is it called something losers it's out it's called losers with a dream losers with a dream I'm so excited um about this podcast but she's doing it with two no correct me if I'm wrong she's doing it with two up-and-coming stand-up comedians yep and losers with a dream first of all her use of the word loser she's a loser like she used to say that all the time in

her act of like she was brutal man no one scared me more with how she could talk now this this podcast is about her kind of discovering her coming at stand-up comedy and and and kind of talking to them through the lens of like like, I've been through it. And maybe tempering some of their enthusiasm or giving them lessons for what is coming. And probably having a little bit of, like, oh, God, I kind of miss it. What's it like out there? And maybe I want to ask her about that too because as much as i worry about stepping away from stand-up comedy ever in my future because i've known nothing else there's part of

me that goes i can always go back lisa can always go back these farewell we can all have shares first farewell tour you know what i'm saying um so uh losers with a dream. Is that it? Yeah. Losers with a dream. Guys, subscribe to this, uh, right away. Like right now, stop everything you're doing. Subscribe to losers with a dream. We're going to ask Lisa how this came about, what the show is, because I think it's right. If you're listening to my podcast, Lisa's doing what I'm kind of like headed towards. And whatever you think about Lisa Lampanelli, put it aside for a little bit. And maybe you already know her through my You Up podcast, through You Up on Sirius. But put it aside. And maybe go familiarize yourself with her a little

bit and watch some of her roasts and see how much this woman has changed. And I just, I don't know I'm this is all I hate I don't believe in I do believe in signs and I believe in God and a higher power and that to me means like no free will more than more than like a guy in the sky but I take my life like I things have been happening to me that are that are sending me in the direction that I'm meant to go in. And guess what it all came from? It all came from a bunch of hate I got on the worst night of my life. And it all, everything that has precipitated that worst night of my life, which was a week and less than two weeks ago, has been all of these signs that I'm going to be doing, I'm going towards what is good. And if you don't want to come with me,

that's fine. And I am excited to get advice from Lisa about this. Don't worry, besties. I'm not going anywhere. Um, this is the most gratifying thing that I do. And, uh, that is not taking away from my live performances, which you should all get a ticket to. Cause who knows if this is my farewell tour, who the hell knows, but I'll tell you one thing I'm free as hell on stage. I'm excited. And, um, Andrew knows none of that. Well, he knows a little bit of this. We talked tour who the hell knows but i'll tell you one thing i'm free as hell on stage i'm excited and um andrew knows none of that well he knows a little bit of this we talked about it last night andrew and i had a great night last night with our besties let's bring in andrew andrew john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

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I'm like, oh my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. Hey, Andrew. Good morning, Nikki. app apple podcast or wherever you go to find your podcast hey andrew good morning nikki oh my god the color scheme over there is popping off dude i like colors the green hat the purple shirt you got a lava lamp in the foreground of the i look like a human lava lamp you kind of do i have the

body of a lava that's so funny the girls in cosmo, you read about what kind of shape you are, and it's like apple, pear, lava lamp. Is lava lamp really? No, no. But it should be. I do feel like my body, depending on the amount of soy sauce I have or the amount of water I drink, and I know a lot of it could be in my mind looking in the mirror, but I feel so much softer within minutes of treating my body like shit like it's like instant for my body it's weird why do we do it then because it

tastes so good i know you know my body also goes through like softer phases but it's always associated with yeah it's because i've been eating more or it's because i've been eating um i can't know what i crave sometimes you just crave soy sauce or like something salty and you know what if it makes your body puff up as long as you're not like doing it and it's painful as you're doing it i think that a lot of or the pain on the other side becomes is like if if you can handle being a little puffy then fucking eat your soy sauce you know like if it's causing you so much immense pain on the other side that then you might need to take away that pleasure that you get from the soy sauce right but like i got a question when you used to drink if i had i swear to god if i had

two beers and one shot you know like something not crazy i would wake up in the morning and look like i got ran over by a marching band that was on top of a train. It was. There we go. There's a classic. I saw your face. It made me want to. I was like, Andrew, come on.

You got to nail this. You got to stick this, babe. I could feel it. No, you did. When you said marching band, I was like, he's already got it. He's going to do it. It was almost like watching a gymnast. Like, you know how sometimes the commentators

when gymnastics know they're going to stick it before they even stick it? It was a crate. The crate. I knew you were going to stick it because I have, I'm an expert. But I saw your eyes like, come on. Like you're a Russian coach.

Like, come on. I was the coach. I was Katie Ledecky's parent. You know, where they go in the stands. Have you ever seen that footage? No. I think it's her parents they would be like but dude there's some there's some people that can drink like 50 beers in the next morning they're like they look like a million bucks i'm i'm puff daddy today my face like i it's just i was on a take that take that take that i was on a facetime earlier with a

friend and i was like it was hard to look at my face. It was causing me to have all of these kind of like, you know, everyone watching at home or listening at home, you know when your face isn't what you want your face to look like. It's that hungover kind of face, too much salt, like didn't get enough sleep, maybe got too much sleep face. And I'll tell you, man i just i just laugh at it now like the the the acceptance over it leads to so much less because you know what this is my

fucking face there's literally nothing i can do about it right now today yes i can drink more water today but nothing in the immediate moment is going to change my face and i just gotta laugh because instead of going like oh i look disgusting because I'll tell you that was my first instinct this morning you know I wasn't in the best mood I had to get on this call I didn't want to be on then I see my fucking pale face that's puffy

and I look like all the things that I see myself turning into that I'm scared of it was on that camera and I just didn't let myself go down there because i go i got a podcast to do i got an interview to do i'm gonna maybe try to go rollerblading with a friend this whole day will be fucking ruined if i let myself go to a place where i go you are disgusting and i let that in instead listen i did look disgusting i know but rollerblading but to be to go rollerblading

you gotta be in a good mood. No, no, you do. That's going to lead to a lot of consternation. I like the idea of, like, I got a puffy face. I can't rollerblade today. Like, I can't. But, you know, that's so funny. I agree.

I see what you're saying, though. I do. I used to, in high school, my friends, I remember the first time my friends, this was, I mean, now I think this is probably a regular occurrence for girls, but I remember my friends did not have body image issues like I did. I was the first one to get them. And I remember there was a pair of jeans that just, for the first time, they weren't fitting. And I was putting them on to go to the mall or go do something with my friends. And I threw myself on my bed and I was sobbing because these jeans were so tight.

They just felt uncomfortable. And I just felt. Were your rollerblades on when you were trying them on? Yeah, and that might have been the problem, honestly, is I was trying to get those wheels past the knee. Oh, it's tough with the brake. And this was in the age of like, you know, wide leg. No, they were just, I remember they were Express brand jeans

and they had a stretch in them already. And they were so tight. And it was just, I was in 11th grade, actually. Did they fit like a month before that yeah i mean maybe a day before it was just you know i was probably ovulating my body was puffing up whatever it was and i remember hurling myself on the bed sobbing and my friends i could hear i get this a lot i hear the silence from people who are trying to comfort me of like this is out of our realm of we need to

call in a specialist because this is I mean I've heard it from you before you've heard this the sobbing the like wild hatred yeah and it always stems from my looks like you've witnessed it and that was the first time I remember going I can't go to the mall because my jeans are too tight and it wasn't because they didn't fit or that there weren't other jeans I could put on. It was those jeans. And it wasn't like I needed to wear those jeans. It was just, I knew I was fat and it was uncomfortable with my body. And I said, I can't go to the mall.

And I remember how dumb that is because my body, it moves. I have clothes to wear. That doesn't make sense to not be able to go rollerblading because I feel ugly today. But I would say most everyone understands that feeling of like like I'm so fat and ugly whatever that means for you it could be too skinny like there are days when I feel like I'm too skinny or I'm too old looking to go out like my mom I know feels that way sometimes of like I can't go to this

party because I look too old and it's like well you're 65 so you're you're old but it is a college part it's a frat house been in a kegger but you know she's a fun lady and she's a fun lady blur your eyes she has the you know the the stature of and the kind of body movements of a freshman yeah yeah that you can take advantage of because listen um how do you think i was conceived? Yeah. You know what I've done recently is I stopped with the mirror. Like I'm not – I feel like Instagram, like if you could lower – we should look at our usage of mirror time. Interesting. Because I think if you can lower your percentages of mirror time of like looking at yourself and dissecting yourself or whatever that is, it's not healthy. There weren't mirrors back in the day.

They would have to look at like a shadow. There were mirrors back in the day. They would have to look at a shadow. Or your reflection in the pond. That's Narcissus. He saw his reflection in the water. And it was like that was the only mirror. And he became obsessed and wouldn't eat. And he got really cut and super hot. And then he couldn't stop looking at how his jawline popped out.

Even the fish were like, what? Then he got so many disciples. So many fucking disciples. super hot and then he couldn't stop looking at how fucking his jawline popped out uh even the fish were like and he got so many disciples so many fucking disciples and uh i was trying to think of something likes in that were uh trained marching band uh ham drip ham drip and um but it's so interesting because i just was saying before you got in here how I am really tired of how comedy just takes the sincerity out of everything. I love comedy because it's helped me deal with so much pain. And you're great at it. But just like my, and because I'm good at it, but like I'm good at, I was also good

at binging because that got rid of the pain. Like I was good at that too. And it, and it served me. Like I'm grateful that I was able to have anorexia and my binge eating disorder because I don't look at that as like, or the fact that I would abuse pot and alcohol. Thank God for those things because the other side,

if I wouldn't have had those things, I had no way of coping with it or like I would have reached for something more dangerous. Those were always the lesser things because I was trying not to die. But I think those were I reach for those instead of a gun or instead of a bridge. Oh so you're saying comedy

soothed when you were really in pain Yeah like comedy was the first thing people are in pain and I'm tired of it. Yeah I'm not in as much pain I want to sit in that uncomfortableness I want to get through the pain. I don't want to need to cut it with a punchline. I want to be able to present things to an audience and have them sit in it and that's the thing. I can sit in it but I want to get through the pain. I don't want to need to cut it with a punchline. I want to be able to present things to an audience and have them sit in it.

And that's the thing. I can sit in it, but I want to protect other people from being in pain. So that's why I always have to go, JK. But I'm tired of doing that, and I kind of want to force people to be more uncomfortable. However, I'm not ready to do that yet. But what I was just saying was interesting because you said get rid of mirrors. To me, that's locking up the food and preventing yourself from doing the thing you want to do. Whereas opposed to, or that is-

As opposed to looking right in the mirror, right at yourself and being like, this is who I am. And laughing. I laugh. Yeah, I get that. I just want to give this tool to someone because I thought it would never work for me. And you definitely use this a lot

because you use humor with your body. Like you used to pull up your shirt and show your tummy when it wouldn't be like an attractive stance. You'd have your gut out. You would try. And it was like you were leaning into the joke of your body, which, you know, you don't want to go too hard into that because then you're just always a joke. But, you know, on days when you just have a puffy face or a puffy body and you know that those days are going to come and they're also, they can go away. It's not like you're just, I don't want you to accept it

or for myself to accept it. Like this is the way you are forever. That's not it. But I just go, dude, you look like a man today. Like I'll look in the mirror and go like, you're looking like a dude today. And it's funny. It can be funny that like my face looks puffy.

It doesn't need to be a tragedy that like i'm a burn victim that has to like come to grips with the fact that this is my new face and even if i were a burn victim i think at first i would have a little bit of humor about it but i just think that the next time i'm just talking to busties now the next time you look in the mirror and you want to say ugh or and and pull at your skin, do all of that. Pull up your shirt. See the problem areas. Literally grab your fat.

You don't need to do that, but let's take it back a second. Pull it over your dick. Pull your scrotum over your penis, guys. But I just, try this for me today, and i know it feels stupid but if if you're my friends i just wanted you to do this because when i started doing it it just i never thought it would work and i just want to say i'm skeptical about any of the self-help like easy tricks this one's a good one the next time you look in the mirror and you like are going like uh or like i hate this part just go well that's just well that looks hilarious just like make fun of yourself go like

well today's not my best day but we're living like laugh about it like just you know just give yourself a little ease with it but that's the thing we would write jokes about it i know and that's why i'm saying it's so funny that i just said i want to get away from that but i'm telling people now with myself to lean into it but i swear there is laughter i'm so so grateful for jokes and that ability why have i not employed it when i'm alone with myself in the mirror before i always use it for other people before they can make fun of me i make fun of myself why don't i use it before i can badger and beat up myself and hate myself why don't i use it to to lessen the blow and there is a big difference between making a joke about yourself and really like owning it and like making it making yourself

feel better as opposed to just making a joke and still being sad about it like there's oh i think it's i don't think it's different no no no i'm not saying it's i'm saying that those two things are different like uh comedians are like oh they're so open and vulnerable they could joke about themselves. They must be fine with themselves. Right. But there's a difference between making a joke about yourself and not really feeling the release from it. Yeah. As opposed to really feeling the release from really like finding the real humor in it.

I'm not even saying you have to feel the release from really like finding the real humor in it. I'm not even saying you have to feel the release. I want to be very clear about that because that's something that held me up. I was like, look in the mirror and love yourself and tell yourself you're great. And just like, you know, I would have heard this podcast and gone, Nikki, it's, I'm going to laugh at myself, but I'm still going to hate my arms and think they're fat. You're allowed to. You're allowed to still walk away from the mirror and just fucking hit your arms. All I'm asking is that you try to make one look you just you just tease yourself very lovingly

for just one and it doesn't even need to work but i swear over over time it will work and you're right there is a difference because sometimes i go on stage and i talk about what a slut i am uh that i have like i i insult myself and then someone will say it to me off stage and i'm like no no no no like no, no, no. Like you don't get to talk. It's almost about like when you bad mouth your family and then your friends do it and you're like, wait, what? And they're like, I was just repeating what you said.

And you're like, I can do that, you can't. So everyone today, if you hate something about your body, you look down and just go, well, I picked a wart on my leg and now I have a really bad scar and I bought some maderma earlier at Walgreens and let's talk to Lisa Lampanelli about it Lisa oh my god hi hi babe we're gonna get right into it Lisa Lampanelli thank you so much for being here I am so excited to talk to you you can't even imagine the podcast you're coming into and the subject matter we're talking about.

Andrew Collin is here, who you've met before and had a great back and forth with. You kind of roasted him last time we were on. Was it you up? Yeah, it was you up. I fell down, but it was great after talking to her. Well, you know, as a retired comedian and retired roaster, just to get little shots in on a podcast is my only fix for pleasure right now in life. So I'll try to resist. Well, let it fly because I've been backing off recently because it's become too much for me to do it every day with him.

And sometimes because we live together, it has a lot more. It's not so funny as real and like has resentment underneath it and that's just that's not good for anyone and so i'm gonna rely on you to just like you know uh just come in and say what i can't i'll text you what i did there's been some issues recently it's really really interesting because if i had to live with someone I would kill them than myself I don't understand how anyone lives with anyone I think it's it's just disgusting and I feel like you lived with someone before oh god yeah I was married twice oh wait yeah and I would say to them I'd go why the fuck are you always here and they'd be like because I live here and I'm like but I pay all the bills so get the fuck out like I can't right okay Lisa

yes I'm just gonna right now I want to just quickly go over some some things that people need to know sure well I already set this up in the top of the show and I want you to know that um you were one of you're one of the funniest people that's ever lived one of the best comedians the sharpest the the fastest the quickest the just the wittiest just elite level olympic level like simone biles and and you know what like simone biles you go this isn't working for my mental health i'm out and um i and i talked about how i got to know you closely i was kind of overly intimidated by you you come off you know a lot of people have a lot of preconceived notions about you being mean and like you know

just someone that you don't want to cross paths with because you might be in the line of fire and I kind of felt that way about you even though I had seen you and know as a comedian that you're not the same on stage whatever and I had worked with you at Sanford and Sons years before and you were nothing but nice to me even though I avoided you because i just knew as an mc you don't want to be like will you watch my set lisa like i was not that kind of comic and if you're a comic listening don't be that comic never um but lisa i said i met you at stern you were so nice to me and then you told me backstage as we were about to go on i'm announcing my retirement and i was like it was news to me so you announced on the show you're retiring from stand-up I know you've

covered this a lot before what led to that decision oh my god Nikki I can't even tell you I've been talking about this and I love it because it really helps me figure out why and I retired before cancel culture was a thing so thank god I kind of got out before I was canceled. You would be so gone, girl. Oh, God. Yeah, it's literally I canceled myself before they could get me. But the reason really was, Nikki, I think this is really important. And because I went pretty deep with this.

I just started to notice my life. Like we get on autopilot from age, whatever, whatever age somebody gets achievement oriented or Hey, like me, like me, Hey, mommy noticed me. And we get on that, find something that works, feeds that hole inside. And we just stick with it. And at about age 50 ish, I think, which is like 10 years ago, I said, Oh, I noticed I kind of get bummed out every Thursday when I have to pack and go away. Oh, I notice I don't love doing this kind of humor anymore. Oh, I notice I want to talk deeper with people. I want to connect and I'm only using comedy to connect and not connecting in my real life. So I was like, oh, I called my business manager. I was like, oh, I don't like this

anymore. When can I get out? When will I have enough money? And because I'm smart, I don't want to be poor. So I just said, you know, we made a plan. And luckily, I was very blessed with parents who were depression era, taught us how to save. And I was like, dude, 57, I'm out. And I was stoked because everyone, thank God for Stern, took it very seriously. And I've been allowed to just kind of do what I want. So you put this plan into place at 50 and then seven, you knew that in seven years you could have the amount of money that you needed to say goodbye and pursue something else that might bring you also a lot of money. But who knows?

You're going to try something new. Right. Well, I really thought that I would want to do like coaching and storytelling events and things like that. And the hardest part of retiring, I just read a book on this because it's so hard to find support about retiring. If you already have. It's not about planning financially. It's about what's the emotional impact of retiring. It's like, oh, you do it wrong three times before you get it right. So it's been three years of experimenting. What do I want to do? Or do I want to do anything? Dude, yesterday, I literally ran six hours of errands, and it was the best day of my life. So I'm like, Oh, my God, Lisa, it's a balance. It's a huge balance. Because he said

ran six, six hours. And I was like, Lisa, I don't think that's what you should be doing with your life. Don't worry, I physically hate to move. So I just I just said, Well, but if I did that for a week straight, I'd feel purposeless. And I think what I figured out in retirement is and it's taken me a lot of tries three whole years of trying and failing is do everything with a small purposeful feeling and you don't have to have purpose with a capital P. So basically, if I live without a goal with a capital G and purpose without a capital P, then I get to just enjoy everything in my life with purpose. So if I'm doing a podcast or if I'm coaching some comics with writing or I'm playing with my dogs or gardening or whatever, it all has purpose, but it doesn't

look like a huge life purpose, which is exactly how we should all live. It doesn't look like you're going to EGOT with that. There's no Emmys, Grammys, there's no Mark Twain prize or red carpets with coaching comics. And I know what you're saying, we hear a lot of these things in self-help speak of like the capital P and it's like, well, what does that really mean? Like, and what you're saying is these things that these tangible medals and honors and likes and followers and all the things that obviously we got into comedy to get in the first place was, I mean, I don't know about you.

I wanted to be popular in high school. I want people to like me. And it's so ironic, though, to be someone that all I want is for people to like me. And so much of my act and my persona is that people don't really know me, not listeners of this podcast, but people think I like to offend people. And you too, as a roaster that was never the goal is to alienate or offend it was

like me well it was the exact opposite because it was the exact opposite it was going how can i connect oh my god look i just insulted them and they liked me more because we have a gift to do that not all comics can do that. So if you have that innate likability, they go with it. But here's the problem. You do not ever get enough achievement, accomplishment, Grammy nominations, whatever it is that I got, nothing filled the hole. And the fact is, when you take it all away, you have a huge loss

because even with a positive you have a huge loss. Because even with a positive change like retiring, comes loss. So any change is loss. And you work through loss. So I had a huge thing in the last three years, not knowing who I was, lack of identity. Wow, I'm walking around going, what do I do? Do I have enough purpose? And it's like, oh, wait, I don't need any. I get to

actually live and not prove myself. So these next 30 years, if I have that, I'm like, oh my God, can you imagine if I walked around every day and I didn't have anything to prove to anyone, except like, I'm like a nice person. Those are the best. You ever noticed those are the best people to be around. And when people start talking about achievement, you just want to like cut them off and go, it doesn't fill the soul. Like I have a lot of young friends. Yeah. And I'm always like, I'm friends with a lot of millennials because I really think they get it and they understand how to change the world way better. My generation blows. So I was just like, okay, you know, I'm going to be friends with the millennials. I'm the world's oldest millennial. So I hear them talking about, cause they're all theater gays

and they're like oh my god we want a grammy and a tony and like inside i'm going yeah you'll still hate yourself so i think it's but i feel like they can i just stop real quick can we go get the charger for the computer because we're i forgot to charge the computer it's about to die and i just i want to hold this thought will you hold the thought that you were just about to ask okay um well i just want to say lisa i that's interesting to me that I thought you only entered retirement with the plan of knowing exactly like I'm ready to fulfill this purpose. So you you you quit before you even knew what was going to fill that hole because you would you you're you're you led your you quit because you realized you weren't happy anymore. Like that's what that was the first thing you're packing. You realize I don't want to do this. This isn't happy anymore. That was the first thing.

You're packing. You realize, I don't want to do this. This isn't bringing me the happiness it's supposed to. Yes. Sorry, I want to repeat that. So you're packing. You realize, this isn't bringing me the happiness it's supposed to. Then you come up with a plan.

You call your business manager. Seven years later, you get the money. You get secure enough to be able to quit then it's another three years or so before you even find the thing that you feel actually fills the hole that you weren't even really filling anyway with stand-up or any of these achievements and that is but i'm wondering someone like you you prepared with a safety net financially sure to enter it did you not did you not foresee the, the emptiness you might feel of, did you think the only problem was that it wasn't making you happy anymore? And if you just stopped, then you would be happy. Was that? No, no. I thought I, I, when I was on Stern,

I think you might remember, um, I had thought the things I, I thought I wanted to coach people, life coach. And I thought I was on give workshops, food and body image workshops. And I did some of that. And then I was like, Oh, wait, I'm just trying to get achievement from that. I'm just trying to be like working at all these high end yoga places and be like Little Miss food and, you know, you know, food and body image consultant and all this crap. And then I'm like, Oh, I'm just doing the same thing, insert different career. And I go, you got to stop all of that. And thank God for the pandemic in a way for me, because it was like, oh, all that stops and you got to see what comes in because what comes in is the connecting to the right things and noticing what does give you a little bit of joy.

And again, your life isn't happy all the time, but it's like, oh, today, for instance, okay, this is my day today. Okay. I got to, I mean, it's, it's so like ingrained in me to say, to say, I got to, instead I had to, it just gets ingrained when you work on yourself. I was trying to paint. It becomes common knowledge. Yeah. Like the thing that is hard to change those things that people go, don't say you have to, say you

got to. You go, okay, yeah, I'll never actually just say that on my own. You just finally go, oh my god, I don't say I have to anymore. It's really, yeah. It works because you do it and you finally clear out enough of the trauma that was holding you

back and kept you a victim and you felt put upon. So like today, for instance, my day is, Oh, I get to, I'm like painting this door in my house very badly. There is no way I don't have to call a professional painter after this shit that I did today, but it was fun. And I go, Oh, that's always cute. But also Nikki, I was shocked. Grief came up because I was like, Oh, I bought my parents' house and I live in my childhood home and I love shocked. Grief came up because I was like, oh, I bought my parents' house and I live in my

childhood home and I love it. And I'm like, oh, could dad have painted that better? Like, I felt like I was letting my father down. So the grief comes up. Oh my God, I got to feel my feelings. That was cool. Then I got to talk to you despite Andrew being there. What do you do with that grief though? Let's go back to that grief. You literally, yes. Okay, but did you just sit there and paint and cry or did you take a breather and sit down?

Did you call someone? Did you journal? Like, I want to know when that pain comes up, what do you do with it? Like, how do you release it? Okay, I literally, I'll tell you step by step. It just happened like two hours ago. Okay, so I paint the door because I read all about how to paint a door, which is a metal door. So I got this cool lime green paint. I'm like, Yes, girl. So I got

my painting clothes and my freaking mask and big lesbian look. And I was like, Okay, here, I'm doing it. And I looked at I was like, I got to call a painter. So I called my friend, Cindy had called me about something. She's really spiritual and cool. And, um, I go to her, dude, I think I have to retire the idea of me being an outdoor painter. And she started cracking up and she's like, why? And I just started crying. It just came up because I'm very, ever since the last three years, I mean, I've just been working with trauma therapists and getting so much access. The feeling is just, so I just go, dude, I, I I'm terrible at it. The door's ruined. I'm she was, well, what's coming up? I said, I, that the thought that my dad would be able to do a better, I'm sad. He's not here. He'd probably be not disappointed in me, but like my father would always be like,

oh, why are you even bothering doing that? You have money, pay somebody to do it. So the fact is, it just came up. I cried a little. I was like, wow, that was very cool. And just the understanding of it doesn't mean it'll never happen again. But it helps you just pass through it because you as we know, you can't go around it. You got to go through it. So then I was able to call you. I was like, this is fantastic. So your day kind of does always look good. If you just feel the feelings. I do cry a lot. I cried every episode of Ted Lasso, even the happy ones. I mean, I was watching it last night and you're, that's what I was going to just get to about Ted Lasso. Thanks for bringing that up. Is that why, why, you know, you found yourself going into

self-help. You want to get all in the best yoga self-help studios and you were looking to achieve these, um, the Grammys of the self-help world, let's say in the Oscars. Right. So why can't it be both? Why can't you help people through those classes and coach people through that while also making the big bucks operating at this like elite level of that um why can't i understand that it's kind of like a gross thing to and superficial to to be motivated by those things more than the helping but clearly you were still helping people in those seminars that you were giving so what was it that made you abandon that entirely and go i want to shift into something that's maybe not as lucrative or as esteemed? Well, I think it took me 20, I was in comedy 31 years. So it took me about 21 to figure out that

it wasn't fulfilling anymore. It, I found it unfulfilling to do the other stuff. I was good at it, but I was like, oh, I noticed a lot quicker. So now I noticed quicker what doesn't work. So I was like, oh, that was fun. All those women gave me great feedback on that. It helped them that weekend, that, that weekend retreat I gave or whatever. But then I was like, oh, you know what? It's not right for me right now. And it's cool. Cause you get to examine, like, look, I discovered within an hour that i can't paint and i don't like it i did so you just get better this isn't you didn't take on the whole house and decide to paint it and and and start taping everything and go oh now you're realizing you get one side of a door done you go this ain't for me yeah and you can you can find but if you painted for 20 years you'd become

a hell of a painter that's exactly and i also was a hell of a comic yeah but what you want to know what's interesting if you ask me what i accomplished in my life that meant something to me and i again i think i i didn't tell you this i don't think but a girl was doing her master's thesis one year when i was very famous she did a paper on me and my style of comedy and she asked me my 10 biggest achievements and i'm just naming them and she goes do you realize all 10 things you said were about family and friends that had nothing to do with career? So that's part of noticing going, Oh my God, I'm not even naming the big stuff. So it's not that it was meaningless. I still get letters from, especially like gay guys and interracial couples and all saying it really helped them to laugh at themselves. And thanks for calling me out and this and that.

But so I get it. I was really good. I was a badass when it came to roasting. I cracked up because I had a game night for labor day and I print on the back of old roasts and things like that because I don't want to waste paper. I'm so woke now. So I had people keeping score and they go, what is on the back?

And they're reading like, thank God for the Jews. And I'm like, Oh, that's like, so I recognize how freaking bad-ass I was. Like I'm an, I really had embrace whether anyone knows it or not.

I literally think I'm a retired legend. Like I literally, you're an Olympian. I think so too. And what you know is fine. You're allowed to retire. Just because you're good at something and could still do it

doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. Like you've already proven yourself. I was thinking that with Simone Biles. Like she already has, at what point do we go, that's enough golds or Oscars? I remember when I had a conversation with jennifer lawrence once and after she won an oscar she was like i was really having this moment of like

what next job do i accept do i chase the oscar the one that's going to win me an oscar i already have one is it going to am i going to double the feeling that i got that night no and by the way the feeling that night isn't that that great? It's not like, let me tell you the best part. Let me tell you the best part of being nominated for Grammys. I, okay. The first time I fucking hated it because I made a big thing out of it and had to get the big dress and bring the whole family. The second time I got nominated for Grammy, I said, I'm not even going to go. It's so stupid. It's never fun. And then I go, wait a minute. My dad had just passed about six months before. I said, I'm going to bring my little niece and nephew. We're going to get some of my dad's suits tailored to look

like for the red carpet. And we all wore like my dad's clothes, all like judged up from a tailor. And we all lied and said we were nominated for best Swedish folk band because they're so blonde and at the time so was I and so what a great night so in other words people listening all you have to remember is I don't like platitudes but you have to sometimes just say them we are enough We are born perfect. We don't have to prove one more thing. If I never was a comic, I earned a life. And yes, I was. I never will shit on comedy has given me a great career. And thank God, financially, at least I'm stable.

But Jesus Christ, enough. Nothing feels like connection do you feel like though without chasing those goals of a grammy or being a legend you know you you got fulfilled in so many other ways because of chasing these even if they don't fulfill you at the end like if you're telling a young comic like hey don't chase this then maybe they won't be as motivated to be a great comic and and and you know no no no i i i get that totally and what i say to the the guys i coach because i i'll plug shamelessly plug my podcast um i do i've already done it but yeah like i talked about the top but i want to get into your i can't wait to talk about this podcast this This is what's important. Exactly what Andrew said.

I'm so thankful Andrew's proving himself useful once. Man, that door really affected me and it came out on my head. No, I love you, man. You know, I love you. I love you. I know it's the best. No, the way, the way I bring it up, the pot, I brought the podcast up because the way it developed was I coached these two guys and they are, I would say, two, three years into it. So they're funny and I know they're funny or else I couldn't coach them in comedy.

Well, the way I look at it is I never tell them chase a high. Thankfully, one of them is in recovery. So he already gets that chasing the highest bullshit. So I go chase connecting with that audience. Chase the fun, the fun, the fun. I said, if we don't have three listeners to that podcast, I don't give a shit because Nikki, I have loved two things in my life

as far as loved every minute of dot, dot, dot. When people say that, I loved every minute of planning my wedding because I didn't have a budget and I was fucking rich and I didn't care. And it was so much fun to plan that wedding. And I love every minute of recording this podcast because it's deep, because it's funny. And it's a lot of depth with two friends. And here's what I think. Instead of telling them to chase listeners and likes and downloads, I go, don't even look at how many listeners. It doesn't matter if we make one penny. I'm already rich. I'm having a good time with you guys. So I discourage having big goals. I encourage the small goal of connecting with that audience

and having somebody go, oh my God, I learned a little about myself. Oh, you helped lighten my day. It feels really good. So that's why what happened was, so to segue in, I had met these two comics. My niece had asked me to go see them. Now I do anything for my nieces and nephews. So I said, okay, even though, you know, when a niece or nephew says, come see my friend, who's a comic, you know, you're going to want to kill yourself because they're going to suck. But I go to see these guys and they're actually pretty good. I start coaching them, but then I overhear their conversations and they're two straight millennial guys. And I'm thinking, I've never heard deep conversations like this from straight men. It is ridiculous. So I go, that's a podcast. And I walk away. That's

all I said. And then I start thinking, I go, that go that's a podcast and i want to go on and read them the riot act and coach them after they talk about deep but if they won't talk about deep i don't want to freaking participate so they committed to talking about a huge issue every week like acceptance um vulnerability fear of success like all the stuff we really need to unearth within ourselves and i go if you can't go deep, then we're not doing it. And dude, every second I have such a blast. And again, of course, like with Andrew, you know, the roasting comes out a little when I, you got to temper it with jokes, but I mean, it really is the reason I like it.

And by the way, it is once again, called losers with a dream available everywhere. And that's by the way, a roast line. If you remember, I used to, I was going by the way, a roast line, if you remember. I used to. I was going to say, you use the word loser so artistically. Yes. Like when I read that title, I heard you going loser. It almost hurt my soul to hear it because it's such, the way you would brandish that word was lethal. Well, you know, it was from an actual, we were sitting down trying to figure out

what to call the podcast. I'm like, well, you know, like, cause you're both a couple of losers in every way. I said, I'm a loser too, because I don't know what I want to do with my life. If anything, maybe I just want to sit on my ass and paint the fucking door. I said, you know what?

In the comedy roast, Nick, you'll remember, you make fun of the whole deus first, everybody on the stage then get the roast uh subject so i would go but enough about these losers with a dream how about william shatner yes yes so i said you can take my title because i just think that's such a funny phrase so that's what we it's great It's great. It's a great title. I just picture Martin Luther King saying the same thing. Losers with a dream. Like it's a different speech.

It's a different, I'm still motivated. It's something. Everything about your podcast is what we do here on this show. And that's what this was all built around was I just wanted to create a podcast that had no agenda of like having to be comedy. It could be it days. There's days it is not that funny. That's why I have Andrew here, because he is he's less comfortable in the moments going really deep.

So he'll cut it with humor in a way that relieves everyone listening. And sometimes I forget that person listening needs just something to to make to levitate the moment from this depth of like sadness because sometimes i get on here and i like will cry and get really sad and and it doesn't like that's my problem with like therapy and self-help is that it just has to be all or nothing and it can't be both and and when you do inject too much comedy it comedy for me i look i was just saying lisa I because I look at my eating disorder which I've been in recovery from for a year and a half now I thank you I um I look at that I never look back and go god that sucks that you lost all those years with it like I now

look at my addictions as like thank god I had them and I look at comedy like that too like I'm if when I I'm I'm veering towards retiring from stand-up as well and I'm just starting to like wrap my head around that because when you first told me about that I thought there's no way I'll ever do that I would never want to do that I'm too competitive I can't let these young people who are right in my like right behind me do better than me but you know what they've people have always been funnier than me people have always been achieving more than me it's gonna keep happening and honestly i don't the pandemic made me not care anymore like i mute the people that trigger me and i forget they exist and the ones and then when i do remember they exist i go oh my god i'm not really jealous of

that person anymore i like wish her a lot of success actually and that's just doing the work well it is the internal work it's all an inside job and we're you've seen early on by the way you referring to someone as a young comedian makes me laugh because you're the young comedian 18 years now no but what i mean is you know you're you're sure no, you're young. She looks older and personally. You're so, I love you so much right now. I'm going to replace you with a Roomba. Yeah, they'd be funnier. That damn young Roomba.

Yeah, I mean, I think what's great is you are, I said to you last year on the podcast, you and me did one during the heat of COVID. Oh, I was so depressed. And I was in a lot of, I was going through deep trauma therapy at the time. So that's kind of helped me a lot because when you have to go really deep about like what your real issues are. And I think me and you really talked deeply about, I said to you, I said, Nikki, please do a better job than I did at setting up your life for a better outcome when you're done with this, because I hadn't been as close to people as I want should have been. I didn't the only rewards I think I reaped from comedy for sure were a good living. But I had to miss these birthday parties of the kids. I had to miss this. I had to miss that. And I'm like, man, from age 50 on is when I actually started, you know, being present in the lives of other

people and showing up and working on the big, big issues that are buried down there. So I think it's great that you're thinking of the next step. I also, I'm grateful for you to pave the way. It's so funny to always have you referenced you as someone who paved the way for me in stand up and for you to pave the way as like a Simone Biles like I was really moved by Simone Biles being like this is too much I already have like I don't need to do this event or like I'm gonna just drop out

and it's like the Olympics you can't drop Nikki you couldn't drop out of stand up comedy when you are getting you know given specials and TV shows and it's like i yes i can yes i can well if i don't like it well no of course not and the great thing is you will have again it's not going to be it's not going to be an easy transition but what i know about you is you can't hide anything and i I like this. And I'll

tell you why I'm bringing this up. When we were in that documentary, Hysterical. Oh, yeah. What a great documentary. Jesus Christ, you were great in that. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Well, I had many friends call me and say, Nikki was so fucking cool. When right after you said your retirement, they cut to something of you saying, oh my God, she escaped. She got out, something like that. And being like, like I was a prisoner. So meaning that you feel that way too. And I'm like, all I wish for her, because I send you such love all the time, just in my mind. And I'm like, oh my God, like I hope she knows she doesn't have to do anything

she doesn't want to do. And the fact is money's great, but does it ever do anything for you other than pay for seven days a week therapy if you need? Not really. Like, you know. It just makes it so if my parents get cancer, they won't get worse cancer worrying about bills.

That to me is what money gets me. It's like my mom, when she eventually gets something that's going to take her down because everyone does. Sure. That I know stress when you're physically sick makes your sickness worse. And so whenever we get a diagnosis in the family for someone, the fact that I can maybe bail them out financially will make them live longer. And that's why I accept gigs. Like, that is it. Like, and I just need that seven-year plan with my business manager.

Can I ask a question? Well, let me say really quickly. I'm sorry. I apologize. I just want to say about that whole money thing. First of all, I had the same goal of you as you did. I remember when my dad got sick, he had like, oh my God, seven months that they didn't have the money to pay for 24 hour nurses. So I paid for that.

And of course my father insists to pay me back out of the will or whatever, who gives a shit. So I, you and I are motivated from the same, in a similar way. We want to take care of the people who we love. And see that. I'm just kidding. I have no, I wear a fanny pack. I know you're not like that at all.

But what's funny is people can't understand. Well, you need a place to put the ashes. Yes, true. People don't understand how, how I, how the people don't understand how I sold all the purses and shoes and furniture, like all the stuff that was that bought out of lack, you know? And I listened to the minimalists a lot, this podcast that I love. And this is so true. They go, you don't have a better life by adding things. You have a better life by subtracting

things. And I'm like, wait a minute. If I think back to the things I've subtracted, Husband, three houses out of four, a career, bad friends, impulsive social media bullshit. I'm like, wow. Oh, my God. My life's better by taking things out. And taking out the purses and the shoes. And then you can do something with that money that helps your dad or your mom. And you just go, man, how the hell is my life this happy? So it's through

struggle of working on yourself. That stuff doesn't come easy. Those lessons are hard one, but you're already on the track at your young age. I always picture you. I imagine you're about 30. Are you about 30? I'm 37. Okay. So you are so ahead of the game. I am so happy for you to even be having this in your consciousness at all right now, because 37, I wasn't even, I hadn't even made it yet. So I'm really, I feel I lost some years, but damn it, I'm making up for it now just by sitting around and trying to paint a fucking door. That's my life. Yeah, I mean, it just proves that I don't think there's nothing, you know before you retired there was a little bit of me being like well see if she likes this and if she's

really i mean she's making a move here but is it is it because she is not as famous as she was anymore now she wants to get out because it's like right you know and i didn't even think those things but people could have said those things about your choice at that moment to get out like you know your star was huge and like everyone in the business that's another fear of mine is this this being built up and there's always gonna be the roller coaster has to go back down you know like the pendulum always swings the other way so when i get things and people go second season of f boy island oh my god nikki you are killing it you're on tour selling out theaters i'm just'm just like, it's going to go away.

And I'm not saying that to be a pessimist. I'm just saying I can't get too excited because when it goes away, if I'm, if my worth is based on that or my looks, which are also going to go away, what do I have? So I just like to keep it like, just like,

yeah, I'm happy about F boy Island season two, but that show will be canceled come Sunday. Cause it's called FBoy fucking Island. You know, that's not going to be Survivor or, you know, Seinfeld where we walk away graciously. That will be taken from us from our cold dead hands. Well, it'll be warmer on an island.

Andrew, before we go to break, I want you to get in your question and then we won't answer it and go to break. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, just stop me before and we can go to break before i'm done even asking um so i was gonna do that yeah you just ruined my joke but ask your question let's go to break we'll be right back john stewart is back at the daily show and he's

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It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical effort. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who are making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations.

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I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him

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I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place,

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in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Andrew, welcome back. Andrew, let's hear your question for Lisa that you've been trying to get out for the past hour. No.

So, you know, you guys talk about like all or nothing. You don't like the fact that it's all or nothing. We have a profession, right? Like if you wanted to do stand up, let's say once every three months or once every two months and just get that feel of selling out a show fucking crushing granted you might not be as good because you're not writing as much you're not performing as much so you won't feel as great about your own you know your own jokes maybe but maybe you write some new bits and you just get that feeling of like that high again, right? Like why do we have to say I'm retired, it's over, done?

When we're in a profession that like – because like my dad was a doctor, right? My dad's an oncologist. He retired. He ended up getting cancer actually. He's fine now. He had breast cancer. He had big tits and had to cut one off. But whatever.

He has it in his fanny pack.'t worry he carries it around now andrew well it's beef jerky now so so but my point is is like he he couldn't then go hey i'm gonna go into the hospital every three months and just get that feel of like connecting with his patients again we have a a job. Can I? Yes. Okay. You like a long question, which I respect. Well, it was more of a soliloquy. No, I do. I like it. I like it. Your monologue was terrific.

You don't get the part. If you cut me, do I not bleed? No, I apologize. Okay, here's my feeling. Why is somebody allowed to do anything? Because they want to or don't want to. So I could tomorrow, my manager says to me, she goes, you know, you're hilarious because I told her only accept gigs where I can talk about myself constantly.

So I do a lot of podcasts. I don't want to go on stage anymore. Yes, maybe I can't even imagine wanting to do it again. But if I did, I could be like, let's do it. But you don't do it for the high. I think that's where you and I are making a disconnect here. I don't want to do anything for a high. I want the high. I want, wait, wait, wait, let me finish. I want peace, contentment. Does that come from chasing anything? No. I read a quote that was so beautiful. I cut it out. I was like, Oh my God, how beautiful it is to not be chasing anything or working,

working for acceptance at anything. And yeah, I do a killer job on that podcast. Believe me, we prepare, we fucking have meetings every week. I'm like, you guys are going to get deep. So I have a great time with it, but I'm like, the high is just being like, you guys are going to get deep. So I have a great time with it. But I'm like, the high is just being like, oh man, that was really fun. So I've never been a risky person. I've never done anything physically risky. All my risks were on stage. All those risks are kind of bullshitty because it's like, what was I trying to prove? What's the difference though? Because I think this is what Andrew's getting at. what's the difference between having fun on a podcast and feeling that that joy that you get from having a deep conversation with your friends hold on one second hold on you're fine you're fine

okay go ahead is that what is that your other co-host what's the difference between having fun on a podcast and Andrew, you know, Andrew's someone who goes on stage and he really, I don't, I'm numb to the audience loving me or the applause or the massive crowd. It's not that I'm, I don't want people coming to see me thinking like, she doesn't even appreciate us. I appreciate it so much that I feel like I don't deserve it. You know, like that's kind of how I numb myself because I just feel like an imposter right it's not because I resent the audience or think that whatever um I just don't want the audience to hear that and be like why would I buy a ticket to her show if she doesn't feel it I just can't let it in because it's too much and I feel like I don't deserve it Andrew will get off stage and he'll kill for 10 minutes and get off stage and

be in a really good mood all night because he had fun and because they liked you. I mean, like, whether your fun is based on if they like you. Let's be honest. Yeah, sure. It's not. You can't. Rarely do people bomb and have fun still. Yeah, and I'm not a truth teller.

I'm not like, oh, I got out what I needed to say. But what's the difference between what he's doing and the joy he feels after that and something that's an unhealthy pursuit of uh is that a healthy pursuit is that he's getting a high and a joy from no no no no i think i think i think the only unhealthy thing andrew's done here today is to think that i said no to think that i am saying everyone should retire so he he's taking it personally, which is one of the four agreements. You're not supposed to take anything personally. I'm not taking it personally.

You are. His defensiveness? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, not you. No, no. In other words, I'm saying I am happier this way. I'm not prescribing this for you, but you are very angry. That's what I am.

I'm very upset. As if I'm saying, oh, Andrew, get out now. But I don't have enough money yet, Lisa. I don't have enough money yet. He has been conditioned. He's Pavlov dogs by me because I have a lot of the same kind of things. A lot of the things you're saying, my listeners have heard me say in less articulate ways, more clunkily ways but i don't

have what you just described so much of is which this is what works for me i i often come from a you should perspective and he hears that all day so i think that's what that is why he's interpreting it that way i've conditioned him to be that way and i gotta take responsibility for my part in that but you're right like but i also took that that way too when i heard that lisa retired i was like boy that looks nice and i even remember doing the interview for hysterical and saying she got out knowing that i would never get out because it's not i was not in a place ever that i realized anything in life could bring me as much joy as working myself to the bone and being the best and and and honestly never feeling like the best no no special no review no no um comedian who I was super like like no Gary Goldman

telling me that I was a great comic no other great comics who I put on a pedestal complimenting me none of it ever landed I'm not kidding you none of it never did i actually think like you know because people would say it was funny and i could always go well they're not a comedian they don't really know they're like yeah i've tricked the masses but when a comedian like gary goldman or like you know you or anyone would say it was funny i would still think that i tricked you you you haven't seen me enough you just like because i was nice to you in a green room and so you're gonna say i'm funny like i never let it in even the Netflix specials the people at Netflix I tricked them they saw one good set where I followed someone who kind of set me up to kill

like it was always an excuse and whether or not that's true which by the way it can be true those things could have been true they're probably not because that would be insane coincidences that everyone that's like me has been tricked. But it could be true. Let's just say that. Even given that, I think that I've realized, and this is so interesting, and the point you made about me being pretty young to discover these things. My friend Emil Joaquim, he's 23 years old. He is just such a great comedic mind, diligent just one of my best one of our closest friends young comic that I just was like oh this guy's gonna if he sticks at it he's gonna be famous

no matter what he recently got a commercial and uh JFL and all these things and he said to me I saw him recently and he goes can you just talk to me about like what it's like to get things for you and like how it made you feel to like start getting things when you start getting things. And I was like, honestly, it just I know this is such a platitude, so trite, but it doesn't it doesn't make you happy. And I truly know that now. And that's why I started to talk to him about like, I want to get away from it. It's not doing it for me. And he goes, I got to be honest. I feel that way. Like, yeah, I don't want to burst. I don't want to say something that he wasn't, I'll check with him to make sure it's okay to say this.

But he said to me, I was just like blown away that a 23 year old had this kind of perspective. He goes, when I got JFL, when I got this commercial, I felt like an imposter. I felt the stress of having to live up to the expectations. My life is so much more worse now like my stress levels and my discomfort and my sleeplessness and my anxiety are so much worse because of these things that i thought i always wanted and he goes this is not a harbinger of good of good news for

my future of my goals and and that and i was like yes you see it you see it. You've acknowledged it. Right. But that's only part of the work because you don't need to quit something. He doesn't need to now quit. You just need to acknowledge it. You need to get it and go to figure out why you have imposter syndrome and why you, Nikki, have imposter syndrome still after all that stuff. Because none of that, I mean, we all have imposter syndrome, definitely.

If you don't, then you're just some self-centered sociopath. Yeah, so the fact is we're all enough as we are. That to me, Lisa, enough as we are. I got to stop you because I hear that all the time in my recovery. And I hear that in every book I read. Whether or not you believe in God a lot of it is the way you were born is the way you're supposed to be you're perfect the way you are right now let me I have I have I have arrived there I don't know how it's

been through a lot of step work a lot of you know me different things I've it's just it's gotten in you know yeah um but for someone for the for someone who doesn't do that work or maybe doesn't have an addiction where they find themselves in a room that they can get that kind of work done how do you get to a place where you even can grasp the concept that how you came out is the way you're supposed to be what if you came out a pedophile well you know what I did and I worked on it and i no longer molest children so honestly though what if you come out you didn't have to fully retire though what if you come out a bad person i love that andrew's gonna give me career advice no no i'm saying every three months you can molest

a kid okay well i will tell your manager you're open to auditioning young children but honestly what what does that mean for someone who let's not say let's say pedophile let's say um someone who i used to feel ugly let's say someone is ugly and like they just are because some people are ugly what if you feel ugly and you go i used to say to my mom how could you have sex with dad knowing that somewhere your your lineage could mix and make a child as ugly as me why would you inflict that on a human and my mom used to be like that is the weirdest thing and i go i'm so ugly why did you make me how could you have done this when and and you you you aced it with lauren your dna mat mixed together my sister got it i was i felt so ugly and there are times

though and i talked about this earlier with my body image that I you feel like and I think a lot of people who are you know trans or who just have like a body that they don't feel comfortable in which that's why I've always related to the trans community is because I truly feel like I wasn't supposed to be born in this body I was supposed to be a supermodel and I know that sounds nothing like trans people are going to be like, yeah, right. I just want to be who I am. I truly felt like I deserved to be Giselle, like have her body. And I felt so angry at God, my parents, whatever it was that I had to be put into this earth, not that. How can I, or how can someone who's born without legs say I'm perfect as I am when truly I am?

I don't think it's perfect. I think that's what people get mixed up. I think what it is, is I had a shrink in my 20s. And again, I just turned 60. We all had to shrink in our 20s. Oh, you had a shrink. Okay. I thought you were like, I had to shrink in my 20s.

It's like, wow. Yeah. We all felt that pressure. I've had a shrink for like 40 years like different ones and the first one had said to me and it finally got in there somehow when I was about 50 um she said you're never going to be the best you're never going to be worst you're never going to be the prettiest you're never going to be the ugliest but you're enough and finally after 30 more years of trying to do it with achievement and

everything, I literally always kind of just think I'm enough. And I'm always, sometimes I'm too much. Like I know I'm too loud and I'll notice myself at a party going, Oh, why do I need attention? Like, gosh, let the other people talk or, Oh, why am I introverting myself and not speaking at all? So it's adjusting every day and just noticing how you act. And it's okay if you're, if you kid yourself enough. Nikki, you're never, I hate to tell you this. You're never going to be the prettiest. You're never going to be the ugliest.

You sound like my therapist, Donna. She used to go, you're not a beauty. You're never going to be a model. You're average looking and that's fine. And I used to go, how could you say that to me? Wait, but I think, I don't think she was right because I don't think there are, it's subjective.

This is not math, but you just said there's a best and the worst. Let's be honest. Like you just said, you're never going to be the best or the worst because it's an artificial. No, there's an artificial construct. It's not no one.

You could, you could name who to you is the best looking and i could disagree and he could disagree and it would be totally someone different and the ugliest i know couples who trump we all agree yes i mean like i think that one actually we're all right on that yeah i just think we're in other words all she was trying to say was to try to think of yourself as because we go from I'm the worst human being, the ugliest, most disgusting piece of shit to I'm the best, I'm the funniest. I know. Sometimes I'm the funniest and no one can touch me and I'm the best.

All you can do is when you notice yourself thinking, notice. If anybody does nothing from this podcast other than notice and go, huh, I notice I'm having that thought that I'm like, I'm the fucking best. Go, you know what? You know what? Yeah, you're really good. And that's what I said earlier, Lisa. I've been doing this thing for my body image where when I see my leg and it's bigger than I want or paler or something or my face is puffier. I told our listeners, I said, this new thing I've been doing, I've been doing it a while.

And now it's become like you said, changing the I have this new thing I've been doing I've been doing it a while and now it's become like you said changing the I've got to to I have to and now you just say I get to and now it's just you don't have to try it anymore for a while I was forcing myself every time I would have a negative thought in the mirror to just go

well you kind of look like a man today and that is hilarious and you know what? It's not always going to be. Just to like have a sense, to just go, oh, buddy, look at you looking like a man. To not deny it and go, no, you're beautiful. Ew, ew, ew. You love yourself.

Yes, yes. I'm so tired of that shit. Of like, love your body. You got to be like Lizzo. Like, I can't overnight just love my body. And I'm not going gonna lie to women and create because I feel threatened when I see a woman who is like you know someone that I would assume has body image issues and they're like I love every part of myself and I go do you because

you were on a juice cleanse two weeks ago and that right so right you're lying to me be honest that some days you don't love your body but like be light about it is that well well i think i think i think humor noticing and then if humor helps you that's a great tool because you know i always joke on myself about what a big lesbo i look like i don't care i'm never gonna win a beauty contest but sometimes i look in the mirror because i dress you know cool i'm like freaking nailing it. So you just go, yeah, but I'm not nailing it like for everybody else out there. I'm nailing it for me. So if I'm walking around at 60 years old thinking I'm okay, because really it's just like,

I'm okay. I'm fine. And the humor does help. But I think the stuff about affirmations, I love myself. You can't go from, I hate my body to I love my body. You have to go lying to yourself. You're not only that, but also it's another thing not to live up to you in another false expectation. So it's looking in the mirror going, I'm okay today. I'm fine as I am today. And again, eventually maybe when I'm 80, I'll look in the mirror and go oh I love every part of me not today and that's all right so I think it's taking all that pressure the platitudes off you the positive vibes only all that shit that doesn't work and going oh I'm not great I'm not terrible but I'm fine and I'll talk to me yes go ahead about that about about aging, about abandoning the pursuit of being sexy, sexually desirable, fuckable.

Because, Lisa, you have been fuckable before. Oh, I don't know. Yes, you have. I don't think so. Well, I always had boyfriends boy you at least were like you would you would embrace that feminine side of you yeah yes i always had boyfriends and husbands so i always said there's nothing better than the dead husband because it's proof you had you were hot enough to get somebody and then you have to live with the fucking asshole

so i'm at the dead husband place right now because i'm like i freaking have proof that i fucked before but i don't have to like wait they're not dead though your your ex-husband they're dead in your mind no no no no no okay i know one that speaks so highly of you and just has so much love in his heart for you and um yeah so that's so let me let me ask you about that what about what about that real quick the aging part is so funny because I always said, you know, I'll never have surgery above the neck or Botox or anything because I'm like,

I can accept the face. Like I think women have an easier time accepting their face because there's, it's a very weird process to have to go through a lot of stuff up here. So we're stuck with the same face the rest of our lives. So I just had the weight loss surgery from the neck down. I said, that's the only surgery

I'll ever have. So I, I think cause I have a young attitude. Sorry. Can I just never. So what was the weight loss surgery? Remember I had weight loss surgery 11 years ago. I lost 107 pounds. Was it the lap band or was it like, no, it was called the sleeve where they remove. And then did you have like surgery for the skin or anything like that okay so to me that's not like cosmetic surgery but i guess it was trying to achieve a cosmetic thing and health too i mean i didn't want to get diabetes but mostly health yeah yeah so what happened was i accept aging so easily because i think i just was like what's gonna happen like i'm not to try to be something I'm not.

So I think I don't shit on people who get surgery. It just, to me, seems like a sad pursuit that's never going to end well. It'd be like if I pursued being a violinist right now. That's a sad pursuit that's not going to end well. My neighbors would hate me. I wouldn't be good at it. And why the fuck am i doing

it that's to me facial surgery in the i just started pursuing guitar at a ripe old age and i love it so much it's honestly what i want to do i want to transition to be a singer songwriter but i hear what you're saying in terms of like you're you you're never what what you're looking to get from violin or from fixing your face which is love and acceptance. If you're just fixing your face because you want to look like a shiny cat, like that's your goal, then yes, do that. But if you're doing it to be more fuckable, that's going to have diminishing returns. And this is the thing I talk about on stage a little bit, and it's actually giving me hope about stand-up right now. Because the things we've talked about, I'm like, okay, you know what? I can talk about these things that I want to talk about it and still be funny about them and

ease into more serious stuff but one of the points I make to because I remember being in my 20s and just thinking looking at older women or women in their 30s 40s and so on not really beyond that because that's just like so I'll kill myself before that because I was always just so depressed but um seeing women and just going I I'm just not going to do that. Like, almost like you have a choice of, like, I'm not going to age. And I know that people in their 20s think they can opt out somehow. And with Bezos and his new, like, experiments he's doing, that potentially might be the case that there's no more aging. But it will – it is inevitable.

And unless you die – I want to go into our final thought uh this will take us out the thing that i really struggle with with aging is that there's always something you can do that isn't the surgery but it's something like it's a a laser facial that's let's not say you're going under the knife but i'm just gonna say just there's makeup makeup is great because why why is makeup okay for me it is because it's not invasive i'm not hurting myself got it i don't i would feel i'd be hurting myself physically because i'm as i told you i'm adverse to physical risk i think it had hurt too much like i have to get a colonoscopy next week and i don't even want to go i will but, but I know it's for health. A lot of lube. So yeah, I can't wait. But I feel like here's the thing. It's everybody's own choice. I have to say that cause I'm woke, but I will say

all people have to do is question why, if you're doing it only for you and being brutally honest and really say, I'm doing it for me. If a guy on a desert island wants plastic surgery, cause he, and just for him, cause he, and he doesn't see anyone you go, Oh, he's telling the truth. If I get it, I would be maybe thinking, what are other people thinking of me? So I have to look at my calendar every day. I have to, the why is more important than the how. So if I'm looking at my calendar every day and I'm going, why am I doing Nikki's podcast? I'll be a hundred percent honest to you.

I'll give you in order why. Let's go. I love Nikki. I feel like we're kind of aunt and niece in a way because. I go older sister, younger sister for me. That's cute. I just, for me, I just see, I want it to be that because i want to be at your level

i want to be like in your ballpark okay no well i just feel like i'm some old cunt you like no not to me so i feel like okay first it was nikki the second reason i do the podcast is it's fun the third thing is i'm trying to help these two comics with the podcast we're doing, Shameless Plug, Losers with a Dream, available everywhere. So those are fucking three great reasons to do this. And also, I love talking about myself and my journey, because I think it might help someone. Plus, I'm incredibly self-centered. Where am I on this list?

I'm just wondering. You're fifth. You're fifth. I get to staring. I thought I was going to be 25th to be on we're gonna let you keep going yeah i thought i really wanted you to keep going to see if i ever even got in the top 50 i forgot that you were on the show until she logged on today no i was happy i i get to stare at your sassy legs because men sometimes have terrible legs and yours no he has

great legs they're enviable. Lisa, I love that. Everything has intention. None of that was outer focused in a negative way. So yes, you might say, well, you're trying to help those guys on the podcast. Isn't that focused on them? I guess, but it makes me feel good to help. So I guess there's a zero sum game. It's going to help people. I listened to some Sam Harris podcast long ago about what your purpose is with your work. And if you can't look and see how it's helping others and making the world a better place,

like what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? And I really, and we can always argue that like comedy, people go, oh my God, you got me through the pandemic, your roast clips. And I'm just like,

listen to my, like when people, that's the thing. I want to just be clear when people compliment me about my stand-up it doesn't get in because i just feel like it is a magic act um and i have a harder time accepting those compliments when i get compliments about this podcast it is it fills my soul in a way that i've never had it filled and that is why i this podcast has changed everything for me because it was conceived of the same reasons

that you just listed. I want it to be fun. I want to do it with my friends. That's why I do it every day. They didn't even ask me to do it every day. I could have gotten paid the same to do it once a week for an hour. And I do an hour and 20 plus minutes,

four times a week because it fills my soul. And I didn't even know that it was going to turn into something where we had a fan it was always my like dream to have a fan base of people that and that's why i'm so glad to have you on the show because your podcast is exactly what my listeners are into so i implore you all right now just give it a subscribe like lisa and and i when we quit stand up we could always go back to it you You could subscribe to this, and you can always unsubscribe if you don't like it. Just give it a subscribe. Yeah, and if you don't, I blame you.

Because not you, Nikki, your listeners. Yeah. Because you should like to go deep and laugh at the same time. And I think that's what the future of comedy really is. So, yeah, it's called Lose It With A Dream. I'm going to give it a subscribe. I like it. And if you have time in your podcast life, give it a subscribe.

Listen to it and see if you like it. And if you have time in your podcast life, give it a subscribe. Listen to it and see if you like it. Because honestly, I'm so glad to have you on because this is, you were, I realized when you mentioned that hysterical documentary, which by the way, if you've not seen that, it's an FX documentary. It's on Hulu. It is so good. I'm so proud to be in it. And there's a lot of documentaries I'm in that I can't say the same thing about. Me too, me too. You know, we get asked to do a lot of these things so this one is truly done so well and um is so beautiful and i even i watched

my own scenes in that and i cried because i was like this poor girl like i got to see myself in third person but what i want to say is like you i'm realizing it now you were the first one that planted the seed in my head that i could do something else and and not have it come from a place of like oh I'm just not this isn't giving me what I want career-wise anymore it's about it's not giving me what my soul needs and what my soul needs is not love and like acceptance from others it's that I I know from recovery that giving back and being of service to others and trying to make people feel good about themselves and feel as good as I feel is the only way I feel good. Like I can't feel good unless I give it back. And it took me so long to figure that out.

But this podcast has allowed me to do that. And that's why I'm so freaking grateful for the listeners and that they get that. And we have some that don't and i'll lose them but you know i'm gonna lose fans you probably have fans that are like what the fuck are you doing what did you abandoned us what how do you deal with that oh i crack up because i'm like well i'm a secretary's allowed to retire a businessman's allowed to retire like why wasn't i and i go there are plenty of comics out there who are really funny. I hope you enjoy some of them because it's like, I can't control what people think.

And the old days with my comedy, I always liked that it was love me or hate me. I wasn't ever, I like her. It was like, I love her or I hate her. So I always liked that. So it's polarizing. Now it's just like, oh, I don't have to be polarizing. I could just be like, oh, that's fine if you don't like me. It's really, and it comes with age. That's really hard to get to. I think it comes with age because, you know, I'll see a comment. I rarely look at social media other than Instagram because it's fun. And if I'll see a bad comment, I'm like, oh, okay, that's okay. They don't like me and I just delete it or whatever. So I think it's very interesting. It's, it's working on yourself so much that you inarguably can like yourself a majority of the day. It's never going to be a hundred percent. And the mood, by the way,

liking every mood that comes in, I could be happy one minute, you know, over painting the door, then sad the next time. Cause I feel I let my dad down. So you embrace all the feelings, you have all the feelings and they, and they all pass eventually. So I think that's the stuff I like to talk about now and why I like having a little platform for it. And I'm glad you do that on here and don't just have some surfacy funny podcast because. I've done it before.

It served me. And I'm so grateful. I had comedy to like cut through and not feel the pain because the pain would have killed me if I felt it back in the day. I can handle it now. You know what they say, people can't be at their best when they're in survival mode and you were in survival mode. So you weren't at your best, meaning you've defined best for you as soul filling. It's not always funny, funny, funny. I was in survival mode up on that stage and on the TV appearances. I mean, I did the tonight show 13, 14 times panel just on the couch,

just bang, bang, bang, like, Oh yeah. You know, rickles, rickles, rickles. And I was like, that's survival mode. So of course I wasn't at my best. And then I wasn't at my best off stage, but now I feel like, Oh, probably at least 60 60 of the time i could be at my best in my life yeah and i'm like wow that feels pretty good hopefully when i'm 80 it'll be 80 who knows you know you're right it's like i think that so much of self-help people get discouraged because they're like i i i had a bad mood i i yelled at my spouse i i hated my body that day i ate too much and it's like you're gonna have slips and it's about just being like, oh, well, that happened. And being gentle, being nice.

You wouldn't, you know, I always go back to if you overeat, which is my, you know, coping mechanism du jour. Now, instead of going, you mother, you dumb fat piece of shit. You like now you feel sick. Instead of that, I just go, oh, babe, that was, you had some feelings just now and this helped you and that is, that's what you needed. And maybe don't do that next time.

But if you do, it's okay. Why don't you just go, right? Why don't you sing a song or listen to one song? And if you want to go back to the food, you can, but just listen to one song, three minutes. And it's just, it's being gentle because it's just- People, put it this way.

It's practice. No one ever made permanent change by yelling at themselves or being yelled at. You make permanent change by being gentle, but parents, the right parents understand that. So when we're looking, I overeat at least once a day. I eat the small meals because of my stomach size. I have to eat like six, seven times a day, very, very tiny

amount. At least one of those times out of six, it'll be two, three bites too much. And I'll be like, Jesus Christ. And then I go, Hmm, I guess you needed it. it. And you know what? One meal at a time. And you know what? I missed my smoothie yesterday. Oh no. Am I going to die? No. I'll have one today. So it's noticing.

I guess you needed to miss it. I get like that. That I guess you needed it is the perfect thing. Like I guess you needed to just yell at yourself in the mirror. Like be gentle with even the abusive things we do. I guess you needed that to smoke that weed. I guess you needed to slam that door or honk that horn or yell fuck you to that guy. Like I guess you needed that to smoke that weed. I guess you needed to slam that door or honk that horn

or yell fuck you to that guy. Like, I guess I needed it. Forgive yourself and then it will lead to less behavior like that. We've learned so much.

Thank you, Lisa Lampanelli. Please, please go subscribe to her podcast, Losers With a Dream. I can't wait to give it a listen myself.

Lisa, thank you so much for being here today. You just echo everything that I believe in and are just going to make me go paint all the doors in my apartment and cry while I do it. And feel so good about it. Nikki, I knew when I met you at Stern,

actually I met you in Stanford and Sons, I didn't know because you were shy. But when I met you at Stern, I said, she's somebody I'm going to have deep connection with. And I always am so grateful because there's so few comics that you can really talk about this stuff with. And I'm not friends with a lot of comics. So when I saw you on Bill Maher, I reached out to you. I was like, oh, my God, that was so great.

And I'm just thrilled for every step you're taking. I'm so fucking proud of your emotional growth and your stick-to-itiveness with that. And also just, man, if you could just be easy on yourself, it's fine. Andrew, I even love you because Nikki loved you. See that there? That almost means a lot to me. I love it. Thank you, Lisa.

Thank you for listening. We'll see you tomorrow on the show. Don't be cut. Jack acceptance. Jack, Jack, Jack. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment

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