The NoSleep Podcast - Important Announcement!

Starting point is 00:00:06 Hey, folks, this is Mike Delgadoio. I'm one of the voice actors on, how, you know who I am. Anyway, I need to make this quick because there are some serious stuff going on with the No Sleep podcast, and everyone needs to know about it. The other day, there was a mix-up with the files that David Cummings, he's the producer of, you know who he is, right? Anyway, we're getting ready for season seven, and there's a mix-up with the files that he sends to us voice actors. Instead of sending me a script, he sent me an audio file of a story he's planning on releasing in season seven.

Starting point is 00:00:42 I mean, that's weird, but accidents happen, you know, not a big deal, right? Well, naturally, I'm a curious little minx, so I took a listen to the file. And what I heard made me fear for the future of the podcast and the direction David seems to be wanting to take it in. I mean, he can't be doing it. He doesn't even... The podcast shouldn't try. Try to...

Starting point is 00:01:07 Screw it. Just listen for yourself. Doors. By Kit Duncan. All this happened over the summer of 1992, back when I was still 12. That makes me sound old. Anyway, my dad had just gotten laid off because Bill Clinton was sending all our jobs overseas. As a result, I was sent to live with my uncle in rural Pennsylvania until my parents could afford to have a son again.

Starting point is 00:01:56 It was the loneliest summer of my life. My uncle worked all day and spent his nights at the bar, leaving me with no one but his dumpy old dog to keep me company. To make matters worse, my loneliness coincided with the confusion. that comes with early adolescence. My voice was dropping, my armpit hair was beginning to sprout, and both of my testicles were growing in. The worst part was I had no one to talk to about this, not even the dog, because she was a girl.

Starting point is 00:02:36 Nevertheless, I managed to make the best of the situation, filling my days by watching soap operas and eating sandwiches with wide, I held abandon. Hell, before long, I got used to my solitude and even came to enjoy it. But on my second night there, things began to take a terrifying turn. It started when I was awoken by the sound of my bedroom door creaking open at three in the morning. I got up to shut it, and I even locked it for good measure. But a few minutes later, it creaked open again. Well, you can bet your sorry ass that I slept with the lights on for the rest of that night.

Starting point is 00:03:29 The next day, when I was in the bathroom, and no, I wasn't sitting on the toilet, I was merely getting out of the shower. I was jolted by what sounded like a pair of angry fists pounding on the door as I watched the doorknob twist back and forth. This went on for nearly five seconds, which in the moment felt like an eternity, although in retrospect it wasn't. After that, things soon escalated to the point where it became commonplace for doors to slam shut behind me. Or even worse, open, just as I was reaching for the doorknob. I'm no scientist, but it seemed to me that every type of door in the house was possessed. When I walked into the kitchen, the refrigerator would casually pop open, and the cabinet doors violently fluttered as if grating me with sarcastic wooden applause. At that point, I was terrified.

Starting point is 00:04:38 But suddenly I remembered that for all my uncle's faults, he was still a card-carrying member of the NRA. I summoned enough courage to haul my ass upstairs and open his gun case, which he always kept unlocked in case of emergencies. And then I began the simple task of sending the door's evil spirit straight back to hell. From the basement to the attic, I exercised my constitutional right to put a bullet through anything that could possibly be considered a door. I tore the cabinets a new one. I showed no mercy on the fridge. I took out the washer and dryer. And I even blew a hole through my uncle's vintage collection of Doors albums.

Starting point is 00:05:32 When my uncle finally came home that night, he took one good look at the damage done to his place and nearly shit his sweatpants. What the fuck did you do to my? doors. Them were good doors. But the thing was, they weren't good doors. And once I'd explained what I'd been through over the past three days, he immediately changed his tune. Well, shit, you may have ruined my home, but you also had the balls to stand your ground. I'm proud of you, boy. And at that, My uncle swept me up in his arms and held me against his warm bosom as we laughed and cried for hours without shame.

Starting point is 00:06:28 Did you hear that? Cummings is going to go all political on us. I think the U.S. general election is really messing with his head. He's not even American. God only knows what this election is doing to others. Oh, and here's something else I found out. The author of that story he read, Kit Duncan? It turns out that's a pseudonym for a guy named Ken M. Apparently, he's well known on the internet for his radical ideas. Some even call him a troll.

Starting point is 00:07:24 I even heard he was recently mentioned in Time magazine's 30 most influential people on the internet. This thing, it goes all the way to the top. It turns out that Ken M is a big fan of the podcast and practically begged Cummings to do one of his stories. If Cummings starts featuring stories by people whose only goal is to trick people and get them to overreact, what will that mean for the podcast? I wanted to get this message out to everyone, especially today. The start of April, it's April 1st for God's sake. And now is the time to get the No Sleep podcast back on the right track, back to the good old horror stories we know and love. I look, I gotta go. Who knows who's listening? Who knows how deep this goes? I'd suggest everybody check back in on April 10th when season 7 starts. Only then will we know for sure if things will return to normal. Or if we're all just through the looking glass, swallowing the red pill, staying in Wonderland.

The NoSleep Podcast - Important Announcement!

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