The NoSleep Podcast - NoSleep Podcast Halloween 2024 Hiatus 01
Episode Date: November 3, 2024With the Halloween season over for another year, the NoSleep Podcast team is taking a couple of weeks off. But remain fearful, we have tales from our Sleepless Sanctuary Premium episodes to keep the h...orror rolling into November."Box-o-Screams" written by Lisel Jones (Story starts around 00:03:35)Produced by: Jesse CornettCast: Ray - David Ault, Kim - Ash Millman, Mac - James Cleveland, Nadya - Penny Scott-Andrews"The One with the Haunted Friends Episodes" written by Chris Evangelista (Story starts around 00:45:45)Produced by: Phil MichalskiCast: Dr. Edgar Burmingham - Graham RowatThis episode is sponsored by:CBDistillery - No fluff, no fillers - just pure, effective CBD solutions designed to help support your health. Go to CBDistillery.com and use code NOSLEEP for 20% off!Quince - Get cozy in Quince's high-quality wardrobe essentials highlighted by quality, sustainability, and affordability. Go to Quince.com/nosleep to get free shipping and a 365-day return period.Click here to learn more about The NoSleep Podcast teamClick here to learn more about Lisel Jones Executive Producer & Host: David CummingsMusical score composed by: Brandon Boone"Halloween 2024 Hiatus" illustration courtesy of Alexandra CruzAudio program ©2024 - Creative Reason Media Inc. - All Rights Reserved - No reproduction or use of this content is permitted without the express written consent of Creative Reason Media Inc. The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors.
Transcript
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Brace yourself for the No Sleep Podcast.
Greetings, sleepless friends.
Has the Halloween month of October passed us by already?
Are your pumpkins rotting?
Is your ghoulish makeup worn out and faded?
Are those skeletons decaying in your yard?
I mean, hopefully just the plastic, decorative kind of skeletons?
Yes, the post-Halloween period can be a rough one for us horror fans.
Thoughts turn to the days of Thanksgiving and Christmas, leaving the creatures of Halloween to be forgotten until next October.
But fear not, or should I say, be fearful, because we do horror and Halloween year round in the No Sleep podcast universe.
And while the team and I are technically taking a bit of a hiatus after the busy Halloween season,
as we always do, there are sleepless tales ready and waiting for you.
your ears. For this week and next, we'll have stories from our season 21 premium episodes,
tales which until now only our sleepless sanctuary members have heard. So consider these tales
to be like full-sized candy bars being dropped into your trick-or-treat buckets. Now let's get the
show started. Are you ready? Then let's keep Halloween rolling deep into November. And for that,
you'd better brace yourself.
In our first tale, we ask,
Would you like to play a game?
No, no, none of those fancy new video games and apps.
Grab some friends and sit around bringing back fun memories
while playing an old dusty board game.
And in this tale, shared with us by author Lyssel Jones,
a group of friends recall a certain game with some bad memories,
ones that shouldn't be brought up.
again. Performing this tale are David Alt, Ash Millman, James Cleveland, and Penny Scott Andrews.
So stick to Monopoly or Scrabble. Anything is better than playing Box O Screams.
Nadia's death hit Mack the hardest. He was with her when it happened after all.
He was the one who watched her struggle in the mangled car seat.
the one who listened to her final pleas as the flames spread.
The one who couldn't pull her out in time.
I'm not sure I could live with something like that.
So it wasn't a surprise he wanted our company after the funeral.
Me and Kim agreed to go back to his place,
even though none of us were really close friends anymore.
Mack and Nadia had stuck around in our little hometown
whilst us two had left years ago to start our careers, no looking back.
But we still felt a sense of duty, I guess, a thin but abiding bond that stretched back to our school days.
As I pulled up to the rundown block that housed Mack's apartment, I spotted Kim waiting in her convertible.
She stepped out to greet me.
Thought it would be best if we went in together.
Don't mean to be mean, but I'd feel a bit uncomfortable being alone with him.
I gave her a reassuring grin.
Mack had always been the weird one in our group, and it looked like he had.
I hadn't completely outgrown that.
I pressed the buzzer and Mack answered immediately.
His apartment was on the ground floor,
but the dark overcrowded decor gave it a subterranean vibe.
Posters of the gloomy bands and movies Mac apparently still loved,
plastered the walls,
the smell of greasy food and an earthy vape mixed unappetizingly in the air.
Can I get you a drink?
Kim shook her head firmly.
I would do, but I'm driving.
Of course. Dr. Sensible.
Mack lifted his glass awkwardly with a bandaged hand.
Anyway, sit down. Make yourselves comfortable in my lovely little hovel.
Kim and I perched ourselves on his sagging couch.
So, how you doing?
Sorry, that's a stupid question. I guess we're all cut up.
Nadia was such a lovely person. I always regretted breaking up.
up with her, if I'm honest. You were lucky that you two were still close. Mac flopped down in a chair.
We weren't really that close. Only met up once, twice a year, tops. It was like she was keeping tabs on me,
you know, making sure that poor guy she knew from school was okay, like she felt sorry for me or something.
I exchanged an awkward glance with Kim.
I'm sure it wasn't like that.
Nadia genuinely cared about people.
I patted his shoulder.
Mack pulled away.
It made it so much worse.
We saw each other so rarely
and it had to happen when I was with her.
Kim leaned forwards.
It was just bad look, Mac.
Could have happened any time.
Don't put yourself down.
But I am responsible.
What?
What do you mean?
He planted his head in his hands.
I held back from reaching out again.
Nadia was driving her own car, wasn't she?
And you hadn't been drinking.
Just coffee.
There you go.
So what is it then?
Did you argue?
Or do you feel guilty that you weren't able to get her out?
Psychology isn't my specialism,
but I can tell you that's a perfectly normal response.
It's nothing like that.
Tell us then. It'll help.
I do need to tell you two about it.
That's why I asked you back here.
But it's not what you think.
Kim frowned.
Go on?
Mack reached for his ESIG and fumbled to flick it on.
You're going to think I'm nuts.
We've always thought that, dude, so don't worry about it.
Okay, okay.
Do you remember that point?
party around Halloween when we were 17.
Kim grinned.
You need to be more specific.
Things tended to get hazy.
How about that Boxer Screams we messed with?
You always bought weird shit to show us what an edge lord you were.
Band indie shooter games,
obscure jump scare and gore videos.
Guilty is charged,
but Boxer Screams was different,
made Ouija boards look like toys,
which technically they are.
I remember the toy coffin that made us yell into it?
It really wasn't a toy.
I realised that too late.
Kim rolled her eyes.
You're losing me.
You must remember it.
It had a creepy skeleton inside that you held up to your mouth.
You turned a handle and it gave you an electric shock to make you scream.
A tide of disgust washed over her face.
Ugh, got it. That's one memory I'd have been happier keeping repressed forever.
Mack blew out a mouthful of vapour.
That was only part of it. The point was that if you screamed, the box would play your last words.
The last thing you'll say before you'd die.
Seriously? So what's that got to do with Nadia? You're not going to tell us some stupid speaking box predicted what was going to happen to her.
I've never forgotten the things it said, just like I'll never forget what Nadia said before she burned.
Exactly the same words.
Kim, moved to stand up, but I touched her arm and mouthed.
Please.
Something told me Mack needed more help than we thought.
Get me out of this thing.
That's right.
You remember, don't you?
Mack leaned towards me.
That's what Nadia said in the car.
And that's what the box predicted she'd say.
Get me out of this thing.
Yeah, I remember my own supposed last words too.
They've kind of haunted me for years.
How about you, Kim?
She shrugged.
I guess I can now we're talking about it.
It was something like, I want this to stop,
or I want this to end, that kind of thing.
Weird how it had an impact on us after all this time.
Kim frowned.
Okay, even if we accept that Nadia might have said something similar at the accident scene,
then so what?
There were pretty generic lines.
Mine weren't.
I shuddered as a faint memory trickle down my backbone.
But like I said, what does it matter?
Just put it down as weird coincidence.
Mack took another draw.
That's what I thought.
But it kept bugging me and I did some research.
Kim sighed.
You need to see it.
He pulled out a laptop from under the couch and set it on a battered chest in front of us.
Natch is not the only one who had this type of coincidence after playing with a boxer screams.
There's other weird things too.
Mack opened several bookmarked sites on his browser.
He tapped a finger on a childhood toy nostalgia forum on the screen,
a thread titled,
Eye of Kabbalah, Voice of the Mummy, and other creepy vintage rarities.
It goes back decades.
This guy says one of his friends had one in the 80s.
My mate, Jim Robson, owned a boxer,
screams. Never tried it myself because his parents took it away, because it gave him nightmares.
He couldn't stop thinking about what it told him his last words would be. I can't hold on,
Marty. We didn't know anyone called that, and Jim kept away from guys with a similar name.
We took the piss out of him about it at school, but it helped him go over his Marty phobia.
We lost contact, but here's the weird thing. Jim died young, only 24.
He was a builder and tripped over a cable high up on some scaffolding.
He apparently clung on for a while, but his fingers slipped.
The last person he spoke to was his foreman who ran over to try to help.
His name was Martin Howell.
Kim Scowled.
Sounds like bullshit to me.
You're not the only one who thought that.
So the guy posted a link to a newspaper report of Jim's death.
Look, all the details match up.
Kim scanned the article.
Okay, but what's to say the poster didn't make the whole thing up after reading the report?
Or twisted his story to match the facts?
He could have.
But there are people all over the world with similar stories,
all on different forums, different social media,
ranging from the 1970s to the 2010s,
some with undeniably...
specific phrases and circumstances. I found almost 30 of them, completely unconnected,
apart from the fact that they knew one or more people who died young, saying the same words
that came out of the boxer screams. I'm not convinced. Could be mythology building to promote an
ARG or something. She's got a point. And okay, it is odd and something could be going on,
but at the end of the day, so what? What does it matter if some
obscure toy predicted what could be our last words.
Mack stood up.
I wouldn't feel so relaxed about it if yours were as terrifying as mine.
You just need to try to get it out of your mind.
What the...
Kim had been browsing the sites Mac had left open.
Her face was pale.
What is it?
You'd better not be messing with us, Mac.
Some of these people, they're talking about what their friends were like before they died.
You mean the future blanking effect.
She nodded.
The what?
There are some detailed reports that say at some point, before the person died,
they stopped being able to visualize the future.
Like, they'd go blank if they tried to make plans that fell after what turned out to be their death day.
Someone able to picture themselves coming on vacation that summer.
Others couldn't even imagine what they'd be doing next week.
It was like black emptiness filled their heads when they wanted to think about it.
And that's...
That's exactly what I've been experiencing.
Shit.
It gets worse.
I didn't want to bring us down even more after Nadia, so I wasn't going to mention it,
but a few weeks ago I started getting these skull-crushing headaches.
Fainted a few times too.
I waited to see if it was a little bit of.
It had passed, but it got worse, and I went to see a doctor.
I've got an appointment for a brain scan next Thursday.
I'm sorry to hear that, but it could be any number of things that aren't serious.
Yeah, I know.
But it could be something horrible, too.
Couldn't it, Dr. Ray?
I'd suggest you just wait to find...
Yeah, yeah.
I'd been trying to look at the bright side, too,
but now I find this future blanking shit is a thing that happens when people are about to die.
Fuck!
Only last night, Sandy asked me if I was going to Mom's birthday party.
I couldn't answer her.
It was like this thick black curtain had fallen in front of my face.
The birthday is only two months away.
Two fucking months.
Is that all I've got?
She started sobbing.
My last words, I just want this to stop.
Sounds like agony to me and there's nothing anyone can do.
I put my arm around her and grasped for something soothing
my medical training should have taught me.
Maybe there is something we can do.
We looked at him.
Okay.
There aren't much details about the boxer screams out there.
But what there is suggests there's more to it than I thought.
I just found mine at Oxfam and the label that faded,
but I've seen photos online of ones with instructions.
It turns out it's a kind of game, not just a toy.
Seems the aims to turn the handle to its end point without giving in and screaming.
If you can manage that, then maybe it doesn't play your last words.
I'm not sure, but maybe if we can beat it, then maybe it'll change what happens to us.
That's a lot of maybes.
Yeah, but maybe it's worth a try.
So have you still got the box?
He shook his head.
My folks threw it out after they threw me out.
Kim sobbed.
Maybe not.
The theory is that all boxer screams are connected.
It's the same spirit or whatever inhabiting all of them.
Spirit?
Look, I've done a lot of research.
You can dismiss it as a...
cult BS if you want, but it's all we've got.
Go on?
The people who claim to be in the know
say this type of thing goes back to the original
talking boards in the 19th century.
Weird games aimed at kids that corrupt them.
It's a powerful phenomenon, apparently.
They think it was unintentional in the early days,
but later occultists with bad intentions
realized a potential and created stuff.
like box of screams.
Nobody's sure who it was,
probably just a small private production run,
likely sold them through small ads in old horror comics
or donated them to junk shops.
Some would fall into curious hands
and give them the results they wanted.
And those results are...
Again, nobody's sure.
To collect souls, destroy lives?
All that evil cliche shit's apparently way more real than most of us want to believe.
Kim sat up.
All right. I'll go along. Got to be worth a try.
So where can we get one?
Max smiled.
I'm ahead of you for once.
He moved his laptop off the chest, opened it and pulled out an object wrapped in a black cloth.
There was one available on eBay.
a seller called SC Cheap Imports,
although it was anything but cheap.
Mac closed the chest and pulled off the cloth.
A weird deja vu sensation raked the back of my neck as the object was revealed.
A black coffin-shaped box about a foot long with boxer screams printed on its lid in jagged orange text.
A pair of curled skeletal hands protruded out the sides,
and its surfaces were decorated with moon and star shapes and the phrase,
Hear your last words.
Kim shuddered.
Oh, that thing still gives me the creeps.
Mack turned it upside down to show the silver label underneath and read out the instructions.
Can you beat the box of screams, seek and turn the hand further than it seems?
If you cry and it catches your breath, it'll own the last words you speak before death.
Gonna show us it in action?
No point me doing it again.
Must have tried and failed at least ten times.
That's why I need you.
You've both always been more determined, more hard-headed than me.
I wouldn't say that?
Really.
It's always been pretty clear to everyone that you two would go on to big things
whilst I'd end up bumming around here.
I changed the subject.
So the boss?
still works okay?
Yeah, but it's worse than I remember.
Can't stop myself screaming.
Still get the same last words too,
exactly the same after all these years.
How could that happen if it wasn't supernatural?
He placed the box on the chest.
The area next to its left hand was marked with three words,
sleep, seek and speak.
With a shaky finger,
Mac clicked the hand from the sleep position to speak.
There was a moment's pause before words started looping out of the box,
crackly and distant like an old turntable.
Mac winced and shifted the plastic hand back to sleep.
Kim shivered.
Creepy as.
How does it do that? Does it need batteries?
Mack shook his head.
Could be a dynamo or something powering it when he took it?
the handle? Maybe there's a mini cassette in there like an old answer phone. No idea how something
that age could generate different phrases, though. I'm a software girl, not an engineer. Sorry.
So, you or me first. Remember how we decided who got the last beer in the old days?
I nodded and we leaned back on the sofa. Three, two, one. We launched ourselves towards the box,
but Kim was faster and whooped as she grabbed it.
Woo!
Yes!
Mack looked away as she twisted the skeletal hand to the seek position.
The coffin clicked and its lid creaked open.
A miniature skeleton with an oversized head lay inside,
arms outstretched with its hands outside.
The jaw of its enlarged skull was fitted with thick lips made from greyish foam.
It reminded me of a sensory homunculus we'd laughed at in a basestine.
biology class.
Gross.
Kim rubbed her fingertip over the mouth.
Okay, there goes.
She pushed her face towards the skull and fumbled for its right hand.
She found it and began to turn.
Kim's face blinked and twitched as she clutched the box,
nails digging into its surface.
Her eyes closed and guttural noises rumbled in her throat.
She wrenched and the mumbling became frantic, louder.
She stamped her foot on the floor, desperately trying not to give in.
The room lights blinked and the posters on the wall fluttered and rippled as if something shadowy was circling, closing in.
Blood started to drip from Kim's right hand as she strained to turn the handle.
She couldn't take anymore.
With a muffled shriek, she hurled the box to the floor.
The lights stopped.
The thing!
She glared at the boxer screams as I put my arm around her.
You okay?
How hell is that, Mac? How does it do those things?
Let me get something for your hand.
Mack turned to a drawer.
What the?
Kim looked down at her sliced fingers and thumb.
She sucked her hand before looking back at Mac.
You knew this would happen, didn't you?
He silently handed her a tube of antiseptic and a dressing.
What did it do?
She looked away.
It was disgusting.
What's going on, Mac?
I remember the box gave electric shocks, but it looks like there's more to it now.
I'm sorry.
I wanted to warn you, but I was worried that you wouldn't try it if I did.
I'm getting pretty desperate here.
You should have said something.
I applied the dressing.
Kim's fingers were torn with jagged cuts.
Looked like she'd need stitches, but it should be okay for a while.
I don't know.
Why it's different?
Maybe because it's a different box?
Maybe because times passed?
I gestured at his bandaged hand.
So it cut you too?
He nodded and slowly pulled down his dressing.
Shit.
His hand was greyish, almost black.
The deep, ragged cuts in his fingers were raw red and pulsed luminously.
I'd never seen anything like it.
You need to get that looked at right away.
How long has it been like that?
He shrugged.
A few days.
I'm hoping it'll clear up if one of you beats the box.
Oh great. So my hand's going to be wrecked too.
I need it for work, you know, Mac.
We've got a major project coming up.
We need to finish by...
She stopped and stared into space.
Kim?
She blinked and rocked her head.
I can't see it.
I've gone blank.
It's only a few weeks away.
What's this fucking thing done to me?
What have you done to us?
She snatched the box of screams off the floor
and drew her arm back, taking aim at Mac.
Kim, wait, let's try to...
No! I just want this to stop!
I reached over, but she was too fast again.
The box flew towards Mac's face.
He sidestepped.
It sliced past him and hit a shelf.
The box bounced back towards Kim
and struck her forehead with a sick.
thickening cracks.
Her mouth slackened, and she slumped to the floor.
Kim!
I rushed over and brushed her dyed hair away from the blooming gash on her head.
Shit, no!
I followed procedure, but knew it was too late.
Is she gone?
Mack's eyes were watering.
I nodded.
What did we do?
Why do you always expect me to know everything?
He edged closer to tears.
I'm sorry. I'm as stressed out as you.
We'll attend to formalities later, but right now I need to find out...
I picked up the box of screams and pushed its left hand from Seek to speak.
A distorted voice crackled out of the speaker.
I shut it off and looked at Mac.
So it's real.
I've been trying to tell you.
Sorry.
I inhaled and pushed the hand.
to seek. The lid slowly opened. Let's see what you got. I snarled at the skeleton. I moved my face
closer to its skull and started rotating the hand. A weak suction sealed my mouth against the cracked
foam lips, a vile sensation still familiar from years ago. As I cranked, something wafer-like
slipped out and touched the tip of my tongue. An electrical pulse shot down the back of my throat.
I recoiled but kept turning.
Another shock, stronger than another and another, each more painful than the last.
I closed my watering eyes and kept going.
Rumbling, shifting noises filled my head, shutting off my surroundings.
It felt like I was trapped in a small dark space.
I pushed on and spun the handle, its sharp fingertips digging into mine as if they were gripping me back.
I recoiled as something slimy slid out of the skull.
It was impossible.
How could a cheap-looking old toy produce this effect?
A cold, wet shape, uncoiled in my mouth,
pressing against my teeth in the roof of my oral cavity.
I fought the urge to cry out and drop the box.
Something emerged in the blackness behind my eyelids.
It crept towards me, moist, thick lips smacking,
bony fingers clicking and snapping as it pulled its skinless fray closer.
I pressed my fingers into the handbook to disperse the vision.
Then a different sensation began to pour from the skull, an earthy, gritty substance.
It filled my mouth, but somehow didn't choke me, leaving open the option to scream.
Rotten-tasting stuff, twisted and scratched, pulsed and roiled in my mouth, almost unbearable.
I wanted nothing more than to rip that fucking box off my face.
What kept me going was remembering what the box of screams had told me years ago my last words would be.
I was too late.
Regret and anger fueled by determination.
Guilt at losing to Kim, so she ended up using the box first.
Guilt about being too slow to stop her throwing it.
I kept turning that handle, forced it on and on against the shit, spewing into my mouth as blood cascaded over my hand.
The boxer's scream somehow sensed my resolve.
The stream of squirming slush stopped.
What it was replaced by was a sense.
sense of utter despair. Pure negativity, total hopelessness somehow flowed out of that box and flooded
my mind. My grip loosened, the seed of a scream formed in my throat. A sharp pale finger
scratched the base of my neck, a damp, repugnant mouth murmured against my ear. I saw a vision
of Kim's blood-streaked face. I so wanted to apologize. I saw Mack and Nadia too, their faces
Cornful, terrified, desperate.
My confusion grew as they faded, replaced by the tip of a glinting blade, a scalpel held by a quivering hand.
My own hand.
Guilt and the urge to apologize overwhelmed me again.
Was I foreseeing my own death?
My predicted last words echoed as the scalpel edged closer to my jugular vein.
I was too late.
The strength in my hands faded, the budding cry in my throat strained to erupt.
I so wanted to let go, but I didn't.
With my last tatters of willpower, I swallowed the stillborn scream.
I wasn't too late.
I twisted the handle.
It clicked and locked.
My mouth emptied, the foul taste evaporated.
Anguish.
Lifted.
Panting, I tested the handle to make sure I'd succeeded.
Didn't move.
I tentatively opened my eyes and saw Mack cowering against a wall.
Ray?
He clambered to his feet.
You back? You're okay?
I pulled the box of screams from my face.
I think so.
I put down the box and reached for the dressing to wrap my bleeding hand.
So you've done it?
You didn't scream.
I nudged the skeleton's right hand to show Mac.
it couldn't turn any further.
Oh, God, thank you.
Do you think we're okay now?
There's something we can do to check.
He pointed at the skeleton's left hand.
Probably best if you do it.
I picked up the box.
Its lid was jammed open,
so I stood it upright on the chest
and moved the hand from seek to speak.
The skeleton's oversized jaw dropped open.
The noise it spouted was deafening, agonizing, like all the screams ever screamed were blasting from that little box, shattering and splintering as they hit the walls.
We covered our ears and closed our eyes as the shrieks bombarded us, jarred our bones.
Eventually the cries stopped.
Their echoes drained from the room, and I opened my eyes.
The coffin had collapsed, leaving behind a pile of what looked like soil, a sprinkling of tiny boneshushed.
Chards gave the impression of a fat-lipped skull, grinning on its surface.
I ran my fingers over the remains.
There's nothing else inside it, Mac.
No wires, no mechanical parts?
I knew it.
A moan rose behind us.
Kim?
I span around.
Kim was pushing herself up off the floor.
Wait, wait, don't move.
I crouched beside her.
If it wasn't for the night's events, I'd have called it miraculous.
The wound on her head had vanished.
Her frontal bone felt like it had never been broke.
I don't get it.
I was sure you were gone.
Yes, I didn't just want it to stop after all.
She grinned.
Is that drink still on offer, Mac?
We ended up crashing at Mack's place, mainly reminiscing rather than trying to work out what the hell had happened.
Next day, we decided we'd all go to.
to pay our respects to Nadia before going our separate ways.
It was a bright morning, and other than some construction work, interrupting the bird song,
it was pretty pleasant for a graveyard.
The grass glistened with dew as we walked to Nadia's freshly filled grey.
Wish you were still here, girl.
Miss you.
Me too, more than I realised.
We should all make more effort to keep in touch, you know.
How about the last weekend this month?
There's this great local band.
Shit!
What is it?
Kim wrapped the side of her head.
I can't see a head!
I'm still going blank!
Oh God, no, I thought we'd...
I stopped.
A break in the construction noise uncovered a faint thudding sound
and a muffled, panicked voice nearby.
Mack tilted his head towards the ground.
Sounds like it's coming from...
there.
Nadia?
Kim threw herself down and began to scrape away the earth.
She winced and shook her wounded hand before restarting.
Mack dropped down and began digging too.
What's happening, Mac?
I fell to my knees and joined them.
I don't know.
I don't know, but if Kim came back, then maybe shit.
He drew back his bleeding hand.
Clawing the soil was agony for the three of us.
Our wounds teared and stretched as Nadia's cries and strikes got fainter and sparser.
This is hopeless. We're too slow.
I'll go to the construction site and see if I can get some help or tools.
Mac, you call 999.
And tell them what?
For once in your life, fucking try, Mac.
Kim ran towards the site.
Mack despondently pulled out his phone and I restarted digging.
My hand was the least hurt and I should have realized sooner, should have worked.
out what was going on. Nadia must have spent all night screaming inside that box whilst we
partied. How could I let that happen? I kept pushing through the pain, kept scratching and scooping
the dirt, telling myself it wasn't too late, it wasn't too late. But then I heard something that told me
it was. Nadia's crumbling voice drifted up through the last few inches of earth that covered the
head of her coffin. That day was the last time I saw Mack. The cops eventually turned up,
but there was nothing to investigate as far as they were concerned. A dead body in a coffin,
not exactly unusual. They didn't think anything of the little mound of dirt and bones inside
that looked like a skeletal grin. Told us we were lucky they weren't going to arrest us for
disturbing a grave. It wasn't the last time Kim saw Mack, though. She confessed. She confessed.
all to me in her hospital bed, how she blamed him for everything, how she broke into his apartment,
what she did with a can of patrol. Apparently the boxer screams was right about his final words.
Please know, I don't want to burn. I wasn't with Kim when she died, but I've no doubt her last
words were exactly as predicted too. The pain from her condition, the distress caused by losing her
health, her friends, her career, seeing everything she thought she knew about the world,
to reveal cruel, chaotic, mystifying shit.
I know how she felt.
I just want this to stop, too.
But I'm not going to give up.
I'm going to keep fighting, overcome my guilt.
Would it have been any different if we'd left the boxer screams alone?
Are we doomed to die, saying its words one way or another, whatever we do?
I can't shake the feeling that something's getting closer,
some small, gaunt mumbling thing creeping behind me wherever I go, whatever I do.
I used to joke that I was the responsible one in our group, the grown-up one, the wannabe
doctor who cared too much.
But my only chance is to change that, to keep telling myself I'm not sorry, I wasn't too late.
It's still not too late.
Please don't let it be.
Our final tale.
We meet a man who's been sent a series of bootleg VH.
chess tapes from an old TV show. These days we have streaming services which have full episodes
of popular old shows. But in this tale, shared with us by author Chris Evangelista, we learn that the
man is a paranormal investigator, and the tapes he's been sent are anything but friendly.
Performing this tale is Graham Rowett. So the theme song might tell us, I'll be there for you,
but she'll ask yourself,
could these tapes be any more bizarre?
You know, the one with the haunted friends episodes.
The tapes took the kids to her mother's house in Vermont,
and that's for the best.
Our bickering has gotten out of hand,
and some time apart will do us good.
I haven't been sleeping,
and if I'm being honest, my moods have grown erratic.
The other night I actually saw fear in her eyes.
after one of my outbursts, and it made me feel lower than low.
It's not who I am.
I know who I am, what I'm capable of.
Plus, this temporary separation gives me more time to examine the tapes.
Don't know how much more there is to examine.
I've re-watched all of them dozens of times at this point,
and my headaches are getting worse, and the nightmares.
Just the other night I turned...
Background on the tapes.
The tapes came my way courtesy of Mr. Gourg,
who discovered them while cleaning out the basement of his late mother's home in upstate New York.
The VHS tapes, three in all, were stacked neatly in a small water-damaged cardboard box
tucked off in a far corner of the unfinished basement.
Each tape had one white label announcing a number,
one, two, three, in red marker.
And while Mr. Gleck considered simply tossing them into the trash,
he eventually popped the tape labeled one into his mother's ancient video cassette player.
He immediately recognized that he was watching Friends,
the hit American sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kaufman,
which ran for 10 seasons on NBC from 1994 to 2004.
Mr. Gads admitted to me that he wasn't exactly well-versed on the show.
More of a cheers fan, he confided,
so it took him more than a moment to realize something,
was very wrong. He left the tape running in the background while he continued to clean out his
dead mother's home. However, when he turned his attention back to the screen at one point, he was
horrified at what he was watching. His wife, Mrs. Gawr, stopped by the house later that day to help.
Unlike Mr. Gwre's, Mrs. Gads, was very much a fan of friends, having watched every single episode
when it aired, and then binge-watched them all again several times on Netflix. When shown
random clips on the tape, Mrs. Goulds immediately recognized that the footage was not from any
episode of Friends that had ever aired. At first blush, Mrs. Goulds thought they had stumbled on some
sort of media gold mine, lost episodes of a wildly popular show. However, as they continued to watch,
they became more disturbed at what they were seeing. Mr. Gle's reported that eventually he had to
shut the TV off, at which point he and his wife became violent.
ill. They never made it past the first tape, probably for the best. After browsing the internet,
Mr. and Mrs. Gould stumbled upon my personal website and contacted me about the tapes. I agreed to pay
for the couple to ship the tapes to me, which they promptly did. I've tried several times since
to contact them, but with no luck. The phone number they called me from has been disconnected,
and the email address Mr. Gats used is no longer active. Any email I attempted to send. Any email I
attempted to send, bounced back undelivered. The tapes themselves are unremarkable.
Their standard black super VHS, SVHS, tapes, which gained popularity for consumer-level video
recording usage. After purchasing a battered and well-used VHS player off of eBay, I began to
pour over the footage. I try not to make assumptions when I begin an investigation, but I confess
that my initial thought was that this was some sort of elaborate.
hoax. If not concocted by Mr. and Mrs. Goulds, then by someone else. Mr. Gertmother, perhaps?
I no longer feel that way. Friends. Some background on Friends. Friends is an extremely popular
American sitcom about six friends in their late 20s and early 30s who live in New York. The show is
divorced from reality. The New York City, the friends inhabit, looks nothing like the real thing.
and several of the friends dwell in apartments the size of grand ballrooms, despite working low-paying jobs.
While not the most nuanced show, it has its charms.
The friends consist of Rachel Green, Jennifer Aniston, Monica Geller, Courtney Cox, Phoebe Bufet, Lisa Kudrow, Joey Tribiani, Matt LeBlanc, Chandler Bing, Matthew Perry, and Ross Geller, David Schwimmer.
Fans of the show all have their own individual favorite friend.
but one thing seemingly everyone agrees on is that Ross is the worst of the bunch.
For ten seasons and 236 episodes, the friends fall in and out of love with each other and others
and navigate their daily lives in comical situations.
I'll confess that I never watched the show when it aired, but my wife was a fan,
and so I showed her some of the footage.
I know that this was a mistake.
What she saw made her incredibly uneasy.
and she ordered the tapes removed from our home.
I told her I took them to my office at Western University,
but I confess here that that was a lie.
They're still in my home office, locked in my filing cabinet.
There are ten episodes of what appears to be friends
stretched throughout the tapes Mr. Gound,
and through my research, I have indeed confirmed they never aired.
I tracked down several cast and crew members of the show,
including David Schwimmer.
While I took care never to mention the existence of the tapes themselves,
I was able to confirm through several interviews
that their content is unknown to anyone directly involved with the series.
Before each episode on the tape starts,
a title card of plain white letters appears announcing the name of the episode about to play,
along with a time code and a proclamation that the footage is a work-in-progress and not final.
This itself isn't abnormal.
Raw footage that's sent around internally to a TV show's production often has these sorts of markings.
It's the footage that follows that's disconcerting.
Below, I have done my best to offer a brief recap of the episodes in the order they appear on the tapes.
The one where Joey gets lost.
The first episode is the most normal of the bunch, following out-of-work actor Joey as he gets lost in an IKEA store.
The name of the store is never actually mentioned, but the layout and furniture within looks distinctly like IKEA.
Joey and Phoebe head to IKEA to buy a new couch, but at some point during their excursion,
the two get separated and Joey wanders the sprawling furniture store calling out Phoebe's name with no luck.
The laugh track on the episode is slightly off, with the audience laughter arriving a few seconds too long after the joke.
This is a possible editing glitch, and sometimes it's barely perceptible.
The episode ends with Joey still trapped in IKEA after the store has shut down for the night.
Here the footage cuts back to the apartment shared by Rachel and Monica.
Phoebe is there, too, sitting on the couch and strumming her guitar.
Chandler storms into the apartment and asks if anyone has seen Joey today.
He seems both furious and genuinely concerned.
All three women say no, even though Phoebe was clearly with Joey earlier in the episode.
Good riddance, Chandler suddenly says, at which point the laugh track explodes.
The sound of laughter is so loud that the audio becomes fuzzy and continues over the end credits.
While there's no doubt a surreal quality to the footage of this episode, it's not altogether abnormal.
The same can't be said for the episodes that follow.
follow.
The one with special guest star Ted Bundy.
In addition to the title card, this episode also flashes the words special guest star Ted Bundy
as himself at the beginning in thick white text.
This is, of course, impossible.
Bundy, a notorious serial killer, was executed in the electric chair in 1989 at Florida
State Prison, Bradford County, Florida.
Whereas the first episode of Friends didn't premiere until 1994.
However, the person meant to be Ted Bundy looks identical to the real man.
Is it an actor covered in heavy makeup?
Or an actor who just genuinely looks like Bundy?
He sounds like Bundy, too.
I took snippets of the footage, completely out of context and edited to remove any hint of the show Friends,
to several experts in voice and facial recognition,
and all told me they were 99.9% certain this was the real Ted Bundy.
which again is impossible.
As the episode begins, Rachel has just clocked out of Central Perk,
the coffee shop in New York City's Greenwich Village where she works as a waitress.
While walking home, she spots a man with a plaster cast on his arm
trying to load a box into the back of his yellow 1968 Volkswagen Beetle.
Rachel asks if the man needs help, to which he replies, yes,
with a big, warm grin on his face.
It's from this angle we see that the man is Ted Bundy,
appearing as he did in the late 1970s.
When Rachel moves to help Bundy with the box,
he produces a crowbar, seemingly from thin air,
and bashes her on the back of her head with it until she's unconscious.
It's worth noting this scene is unfolding on what's supposed to be a New York street,
although obviously a set on some back lot, in broad daylight.
Several extras playing New Yorkers walk by
the scene of the attack, but none of them acknowledge what's going on.
Nor does anyone intervene when Bundy produces a pair of handcuffs from his pocket,
cuffs Rachel's hands behind her back and loads her into his car.
A low, barely audible laugh track accompanies this sequence.
Bundy drives Rachel to a wooded area somewhere in upstate New York where he proceeds to
strangle her to death.
From here, the episode turns into a series of montages, with Bundy returning to the secluded
spot where Rachel's body lies.
Rachel shows signs of decomposition every time Bundy returns,
although her famous haircut, dubbed the Rachel by the media, remains pristine.
The episode ends with hikers finding Rachel's skeleton.
The skeleton still has the Rachel haircut.
The one with the empty apartment.
For 23 minutes, the camera remains in a fixed position in the interior.
of Rachel and Monica's apartment.
The apartment is empty of people,
and none of the characters appear
during the 23 minutes of runtime.
In the background,
through the apartment's huge window,
New York City can be seen
engulfed in towering flames.
There's no laugh track,
but soft, unsettling sobbing
can be heard somewhere off camera.
The sobbing lasts the full 23 minutes.
The one where Ross has no eyes,
Curiously, this episode is exactly the same as the second episode of season three, titled
The One Where No One's Ready.
The original episode is what is referred to in TV parlance as a bottle episode,
in which all the action takes place primarily in one location,
the location in this case being the living room of Monica and Rachel's apartment.
The episode on the tape unfolds identically to the episode that aired with one distinct exception.
The character of Ross has no eyes.
Instead, it appears as if his eyes were recently scooped out of his head,
leaving a pair of empty sockets that proceed to leak blood throughout the entire episode.
None of the characters, including Ross, acknowledge this.
The one where Monica has to clean up.
Monica is excited to throw a dinner party at the apartment she shares with Rachel.
She busies herself cleaning the apartment and pouring over a cookbook
to make sure the meal she's making is just right.
None of the other friends are around for the first five minutes of the episode,
which consists only of Monica moving about her tasks in the apartment.
Monica is interrupted by a knock on the door.
The visitor is Richard, her ex-boyfriend, played by Tom Selleck.
Note, I reached out to Selleck's agent multiple times
and never received a return call or email.
Richard begs Monica to take him back, but she refuses.
The scene escalates into a physical altercation, with Richard growing furious, snarling and snapping his teeth at Monica.
Just when it appears Richard has the upper hand, Monica grabs a frying pan off the stove and smashes it hard into the man's skull.
She does this repeatedly until Richard's skull caves in on the left side at an impossible angle.
Alarmed at the mess she's made, Monica rushes to clean up, fastidiously scrubbing the blood from the walls
and floor of the kitchen with vigor.
A montage unfolds with Monica dismembering Richard's body
with an electric carving knife.
When done, she tosses the bloody remains off the balcony.
Although, in her frantic hurry,
she kicks Richard's head under the couch
and does not realize it's not included
with the rest of the body parts she has just thrown away.
At this point, the rest of the friends arrive,
causing the studio audience to roar with applause.
I'm starving!
Joey bellows as everyone sits down to eat.
The friends begin chewing their food loudly
to the point where the show's soundtrack is nothing but chomping teeth, gnawing at food.
It is a feral animal sound,
and at one point Chandler even growls while chewing,
as if he were a wolf tearing apart a fresh kill.
Meat juice dribbles down his chin and stains his shirt.
While all this happens, Richard's dented, blood-drenched, severed head
rolls out from under the couch on its own accord.
While the friends continue to chew loudly,
Richard's bloody head begins to chant,
Now we'll see some teeth, now we'll see some teeth,
now we'll see some teeth!
The chanting grows louder and louder,
but not loud enough to drown out the sound of all that chewing.
As the chewing continues, the teeth in the friend's mouths
begin to fall out and clatter onto the porcelain plates.
They don't seem to notice and continue.
to eat, biting down on meat and vegetables with bloody gums.
Now we'll see some teeth!
Richard's head continues to chant before the episode fades to black.
The One with the Broken Bones
In their shared apartment, Chandler and Joey are having an argument about how dirty the
refrigerator has become.
Chandler is angrily chastising Joey for letting the situation get out of hand,
while Joey is comically trying to downplay it.
In the midst of this argument,
some sort of unseen force starts breaking Chandler's bones.
First, his right arm pops out of its socket
and bends the wrong way at the elbow,
all of which is accompanied by a wet, crunching sound.
Next, the fingers on his right hand
begin bending back one by one,
and then are twisted into corkscrew angles.
The velocity of the action is so severe
that we can see the fingernails on the hand fall off.
While all of this is happening, the argument about the refrigerator continues,
and Chandler doesn't even seem to notice what's happening.
Meanwhile, his left arm snaps backwards with a sudden jolt of force.
The action causes a compound fracture,
with Chandler's radial bone tearing through the flesh of his forearm
and glistening beneath the setlights burning overhead.
Like Chandler, Joey also seems to ignore, or not
notice what's happening, and still the crunch and pop and smashing of bones continues.
Some of Chandler's ribs begin puncturing through his shirt. Both of his femur bones crack,
causing the man to fall to the floor. And still, the argument continues. But whatever Chandler
and Joey are saying to each other is now drowned out by the sound of all those breaking bones.
Note. At this point I had to stop the tape and run to the bathroom to vomit.
I'm not squeamish by nature, but the sounds alone made me feel extremely queasy.
It was almost akin to a feeling of seasickness.
On the floor, more and more of Chandler's bones are shattered and blasted apart within the suit of his flesh.
His body has become this malformed, misshapen thing, a bag of loose, bloody skin that continues to rise.
even as more broken bones
keep stabbing their way out into the light.
The floor beneath Chandler is soaked with blood
and other bodily fluids.
Can I possibly have any more broken bones?
Chandler suddenly asks with dry sarcasm.
At this point, his jawbone cracks in half
and pops completely out of his mouth.
It clatters against the tile floor
and then suddenly begins to move of its own accord.
Several of Chandler's teeth
fall out of the broken jawbone.
Immediately after, small bisected legs,
like the legs of a spider or a crab,
slither out of the holes where the teeth once were,
resulting in the jaw, scuttling across the floor
and up the wall like some sort of bony insect.
Chandler is still trying to talk,
but as he has no jaw now,
all his words are garbled and choked with blood.
Joey inexplicably can still understand
what Chandler is saying,
though, and continues the argument.
The one where the void is growing, and it still calls to you.
In Rachel and Monica's apartment, Phoebe sits on the couch hugging herself, squeezing
her body tight and whispering, you know what you did, you know what you did, you know what you did.
Note, the whispering is so low that I had to turn the volume up on my TV to its highest point.
Rachel and Ross enter the apartment, at which point Rachel
says, hey, Feebs, what's up?
You know what you did.
Phoebe continues to whisper.
Rachel and Ross either don't hear her or refuse to acknowledge her.
The apartment door bangs open and Joey comes in, grinning.
How you doing?
He asks.
Then adds, I have something I want to show you guys.
Here he walks over to Rachel and Monica's TV and turns it on.
There's static on the screen at first, but then the image becomes clear.
The footage on the TV is the same footage the episode began with,
with Phoebe rocking on the couch and whispering,
You know what you did, you know what you did, you know what you did.
Ross and Rachel watch, transfixed.
A single tear trickles down Rachel's cheek.
Phoebe, still on the couch, remains oblivious to her own visage on the TV screen.
While Phoebe on the couch continues to chat to herself,
the Phoebe on the TV screen looks up
and appears to be able to see the friends watching her.
The void is growing, TV Phoebe says.
And it still calls to you.
Turn it off, Rachel suddenly shrieks,
clawing at her own face with her fingernails,
tearing her flesh, drawing blood.
Turn it off.
Wait, this is my big break, Joey insists,
even though at no point does he appear on the TV screen he's watching.
The void is growing, and it still calls to you.
TV, Phoebe, says again.
The room grows dark, as if the lights have been turned down via a dimmer switch.
Soon, the only light is from the TV screen, which is now pulsating and bulging,
as if it were made of soft material.
Flesh, meat, rather than glass.
Note.
While nothing else happens in this particular episode, this was the point where I had to take a break
from my research upon my first run-through of the tapes.
My head was throbbing, and I felt chills all over my body, as if I were coming down with a fever.
I crawled into bed and slept for 17 hours, at which point my wife finally woke me up, concerned.
You were talking in your sleep, she told me.
What did I say, I asked, groggy and confused, and a little annoyed at having been roused from slumber.
The void is growing, she recited, and it still calls to you.
The One with the Flies
Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey
have filled Rachel and Monica's apartment with raw meat.
There's raw meat everywhere,
carelessly strewn on the floor, nailed to the wall,
covering tables and chairs.
The red of the meat is bright to the extreme.
It hurts my eyes.
The six friends stand directly in the middle of the room
and look straight into the camera,
saying nothing.
They never blink, they never move.
They don't even seem to breathe.
After a long, silent beat, the raw meat begins to quiver and split apart,
at which point hordes of buzzing flies come exploding out,
filling the room, creating a thick black, pulsating cloud.
The friends do not react to the flies,
even as the insects begin to swarm about their bodies, covering them,
making it appear as if the friends are wearing suits made of flies.
The first time I watched this episode, I started weeping uncontrollably, and I can't say why.
I couldn't control myself.
I doubled over with something akin to grief or heartbreak.
I fell onto the floor, sobbing and biting my fist to keep the sounds of my sobs away from my wife and children.
They heard them anyway.
They came into my office.
They asked what was wrong.
I started screaming at them.
screaming that they should get the fuck out of my office.
Don't ever come in here while I'm working.
I screamed from the floor.
My wife ushered the children out.
I continued to sob.
I sobbed so hard I vomited all over myself.
The flies on the TV buzzed and buzzed and buzzed.
I could not stop crying.
I'm crying as I type this.
I can't seem to stop.
The one where I cook my family.
This episode is different.
No. This wasn't here before. I swear it wasn't. I swear. The footage doesn't feature Rachel and Monica's
apartment. Nor Joey and Chandler's, nor Central Perk, nor Ross's office, nor any location glimpsed
throughout the entire run of friends. Footages of my house. My kitchen. It's my kitchen plain as day.
There's the self-cleaning wall oven, which I can see is on. There's the stainless,
steel range hood. There's the large oval window that casts circular beams of bright light in the
afternoon. The rolling kitchen cart, overloaded with spices and cookbooks we never really use.
The pot rack chandelier with the copper William Sonoma cookware dangling from it like mutated
metal fruit. And there, simmering on the stovetop, is the large artichoke-colored enameled steel stockpot.
The camera slowly zooms in and we can see.
I can see.
There's a human head floating in the pot,
surrounded by cut-up carrots and celery.
The flesh on the head has been boiled away to bone,
but the hair is still attached at the scalp,
strands of it spilling over the side of the pot.
The hair is the pale red of my wife's hair.
The camera pans to the oven door,
and while it's foggy and smeared with blood,
I can see the dismembered bodies of my children beyond that stained glass.
I can see their little legs with scabby knees, their chubby little fingers, their faces locked in silent screams.
I can somehow feel the heat of the oven radiating off the TV screen.
Somewhere off camera I can hear someone laughing, then weeping and screaming and talking softly to himself.
I'd know that voice anywhere.
It's my voice.
So no one told you
life was going to be this way.
I whisper,
this isn't real.
This can't be real.
This is impossible.
It's as impossible as everything else on the tapes.
My wife and children are fine.
They've gone to my mother-in-law's house.
They are there safe.
I called my mother-in-law just now,
and even though she claimed they weren't there
and that she hadn't heard from them in days,
I know she's lying.
I know what's real.
I know who I am, what I'm capable of.
The stockpot starts to bubble over.
The meaty, bloody water within
running down the sides and hitting the flames,
causing a sizzling sound.
The one where something is at your door.
One last tape.
Its location is familiar.
Your home.
And there you are.
At the center of the screen,
listening to this.
And there's something at the door.
It's pounding, shaking the door in its frame.
There's mad, gibbering laughter on the other side of that door.
It's a sound that does not emanate from human vocal cords.
Suddenly it starts to sing,
I'll be there for you.
It wants to get in.
It's hungry.
The void is growing.
And it still calls to you.
As the train pulls into the terminal, we ask that you gather what's left of your sanity and depart the train.
Thank you for traveling with us on the sleepless Express.
The No Sleep podcast is presented by Creative Reason Media.
The musical score was composed by Brandon Boone.
Our production team is Phil Mikulski, Jeff Clement, and Jesse Cornett.
Our editorial team is Jessica McAvoy and Ashley McAnally.
To discover how you can get even more sleepless horror stories from us, just visit sleepless.com to learn about the sleepless sanctuary.
Add free extended episodes each week and lots of bonus content for the dark hours, all for only one low monthly price.
on behalf of everyone at the No Sleep podcast, we thank you for traveling the rails with us for our 21st season.
