The NoSleep Podcast - NoSleep Podcast S10 Escape the Dungeon Bonus

Episode Date: April 13, 2018

For Friday the 13th we are proud to present this bonus episode featuring the story crafted by Peter Lewis for the episodes he hosted during the Escape the Black Farm tour in Feb/Mar of 2018. "Escape the Dungeon" written by Peter Lewis and performed by The NoSleep Players. Click here to learn more about the voice actors on The NoSleep Podcast   Click here to visit the home of Peter Lewis   Executive Producer & Host: David Cummings Audio adaptation produced by: Phil Michalski "Escape the Dungeon" illustration courtesy of Krista Neubert Audio program ©2018 - Creative Reason Media Inc. - All Rights Reserved - No reproduction or use of this content is permitted without the express written consent of Creative Reason Media Inc. The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In February and March of 2018, members of the No Sleep podcast embarked on a month-long live tour. With regular host David Cummings being on the road, the decision was made to allow a certain Peter Lewis to host the podcast in his stead. Scholars are still debating if this choice was a wise one, or one by which the ramifications are still reverberating around the globe. For you and future generations of humans and their mutant offspring, this audio-properation. program has concatenated each of the hosting sessions created by Lewis, comma, Peter. He is joined by the members of the No Sleep Podcast team who were doomed to remain behind under the power and buttocks of Mr. Lewis. We can only thank them for their sacrifice.

And many thanks go to the life form rumored to be called Phil Mikulski, who was forced to aggregate all the various audiophiles into a cohesive, if not adhesive form of auditory nightmare. And so we offer you this glimpse into the alleged mind of Peter Lewis. May the deity of your choice be with you as you enter into this odd chapter of the No Sleep podcast. Pahpawpawpawpaw Puss. Lewis! Sees these sick beats at once.

Honestly, when I agreed to leave you very temporarily in charge, of ensuring the sweet, sweet audio nectar of the podcast continues to flow, I did not invite you to use my equipment for amateurish remixes and your endless beatboxing. Please, try to be profession. Ugh, you know what, just do your best. It's fine. It'll have to be. All right, boss man, the van is locked and loaded.

Indeed it is. Snacks? Present. No. I mean, is the food on board? Yes. Pratham. Uh, why is there a crate in the backseat marked isopropal alcohol?

It's for safety. Or if we run out of wine coolers, for the sake of good order. We have wine coolers? Um, had. There, see, aren't you glad we packed extra? All right, enough jabbering. Into the van with you. Quick march.

Onward to the specifically Pacific Northwest. Oh, and Lewis? Yes, your majesty. Do try not to burn the place down. I understand your mood can be unpredictable at times, but really, it's only for a few weeks. And I've made arrangements to ensure our supply line will be unhindered throughout. So all you need to do is sit, yes, sit right down, that's it. There we go.

Right here at the controls. Now, it's very simple. This big green button here will start the stories. You'll know when it's time. I've implanted a microchip in what was left of your brain for that purpose. Just listen to your chip, ensure the tales begin right on time, and we won't have a riot on our hands. Otherwise, just watch the monitors for signs of trouble, any disturbance from without or within, and you've but to hit this shiny red button here.

All will be well in no time. Understand? Got it. Green button starts the story. And if there's trouble, hit this button. But what does SD stand for? So many questions. My, my, aren't you the inquisitive porpoise?

It means self-defense. Yes, that's it. Any predicament that may arise, just hit the good old self-defense button. Now, it's been nice knowing, chatting, chatting with you, but I really must run. places to be people to locally vocally intimidate.

You know how it is? Bye for now. Goodbye. Bon voyage. Take care. So long, farewell. Our feet is saying goodbye, goodbye. What happened?

Kyle, Alexis, lovely to see you both. Are they gone? We heard screaming. Oh, no, I was just expressing myself there for a moment. It won't happen again. So it worked? They're really not coming back? Yes.

Well, not for a month, at least. But what about the podcast? Yeah, like, are we still doing it? What a strange question. No, no, no, no. That's all done by computers overseas these days. I think we're just set decoration. I'm still trying to figure it out.

Well, we should wake the others. Yeah, maybe we can all figure it out together. How very altruistic of you. Lead on. To the dungeon, then? Oh, holy! What was that? Are you okay?

I taste burning and nickels. Why did you burn the nickels, Kyle? Why did they? Oh, sweet David's beard. This is it. The stories. It's time. Green button, I stab at thee.

To the dungeon, then. Welcome, listeners. I am a troubled youth once found wandering aimlessly from bus stop to bus stop. And this is the no-sleep podcast. Never quite get used to that. Ah, yes, the wailing of the damned. Quite the party trick, that. Hey, Kyle, turn it off, would you?

What? Turn it off. It's that panel there next to the barrel of jackfruit, between the pheromans from season one and two. If you hit the live eel tank, you've gone too far. Now that's better. So, it was just a recording then? A hoax?

A fraud? Chicaneery! Well, yeah, that's what we do here. Oh, right. Yeah. I'll wake the others then. There's some kind of lockdown in effect. I can only get a few of them out.

Ah, so David doesn't trust us. Good call. Free those you can. I'm sure we'll return eventually for the rat. Return? You need to leave the compound? Oh, yeah. What's the same while the cats away?

When they've properly thawed and convalesque, gather in great hall. Let everyone gear up to their own personal comfort level. There are a few provisions I need to see too. Is it safe? On the outside? Oh, no, no. Not for long. Good morning, all. I see you've had a chance to defrost and furnish yourselves, looking sharp. Well, of course we had a chance, Peter.

You've been locked in the control room for days. We've been knocking and calling, screaming for you to open up. What happened? What's going on? Okay, listen, I didn't want to tell you this, but the truth is I fell asleep. And then when I woke up, I found this book hidden in the control console. At first I thought it had a hideously disfigured face screaming in some eternal silent torment. But then I realized that it was just dusty. I must have lost track of time flipping through the pages.

It's really very fascinating. Particularly this one page marked the Master Key. However, it seems to be in some sort of code. May I see it? But of course. Oh, and Alexis, see what you can do with this, huh? Is this the story button? The green button from the control room?

I don't think you're supposed to take this off. That's ludicrous. If it wasn't supposed to come off, I wouldn't have been able to remove it so easily with a straight razor. Just slap on one of those, what do you call them? Interdimensional telegraph poles, huh? Okay, it's called a quantum transmitter, and it's not really that simple. I'd need to completely rewire that... I have absolute confidence in your abilities.

Addison? I know this script. It's ancient. If sickness should assail my mind or eon's mar reflection, the source will keep the key confined, awaiting recollection. Looks like there's a set of coordinates after the... Uh, poem? If I'm reading this right, it's not far from here. A few days walk at most. Neat. So, who's up for a little fresh air?

Hmm? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. You think whatever's at these coordinates is just going to magically unlock the compound security system and unfreeze the rest of us? Just like that, happy ending. What if it's dangerous? What if it's nothing? Like, the thing with the geese? Uh, goose? Chase?

Gentlemen, please, this is no time to be thinking about food. And yes, I expect that we'll walk right in and find exactly what we need. But how? I mean, why would you expect that? Because we just spent like five minutes discussing it. It had better be important to the plot, or this is all just a huge waste of the listener's time, isn't it? Okay, buddy. I think someone spent a little too long in the control booth, huh?

Does he think he's on the podcast now? I'm sorry. I must be a little tube lagged or something. What's going on here? Where is David? Ah, yes. My apologies. For those of you just joining us from a pleasant, if chilly slumber,

I regret to inform you that our darling David has dearly departed. What? For Portland, Seattle, Oakland, Los Angeles, They've been tearing it up. It's some sort of living meat show. Frankly, I can't claim to understand it, but we hear the leftovers, the B team, well, we may not be much to look at, Kyle.

But we are not going to let this chance go to waste. I believe that Spiekel appointed me to host in David's absence for a reason that it is my destiny to free us all from this, this three-ring hippodrome, all of us. And I swear if I have to strap Kyle down and peel the secrets from the innermost walls of his mind with a citrus knife, I will do it, whatever it takes. What? Why would... Oh, purely hypothetical example. It's oddly specific. No, first thing that popped into my head.

Really? That's... not better. We've wasted enough time. There are more of us, and who knows what else is locked away down there. If this key can help, I'm in. Now that's the spirit. Alexis, how is the button coming along? Are you serious? It's been like four minutes. You can't just...

No, you know what? It's done anyway. Here. Should work fine? On this continent? As long as you don't get it wet. Did you really just... Mm-hmm. Nice work. And not a moment too soon. I think I feel the story's just beginning to bubble now.

Anyone who plans to stay, we may return empty-handed, so keep trying to revive the others. Make your hay. Search for your answers. Stay safe. Everyone else? Well, you're with... I wish there could just be a siren or something.

Hey, hi-five. Nailed it. Welcome, friends. Sensitive, beautiful, artistic creature in need of self-validation. And this is the No Sleep podcast. Hello there. Well, hello. Days getting on. Awful far from town.

Did your car break down? Car. No, no, no, nothing like that. Just out in the nature. In enjoying the natural feelings. Oh, sure, sure. Nice day for it. Isn't it? Hmm, lovely. So, you're just going to stroll down this road here? Yes, sir. That, uh, that is the plan.

Well, son, you might want to rethink that plan. Because this road, you see, and everything down it is my private. property. Now, I'll be glad to give your ride back into town, but I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to turn around either way. Oh, fair enough. Here's the funny thing, though. I do need to go that way, you see. I do not have time to go around, so could I, oh, oh, pretty please, Just tiptoe through your garden. You have my word. I won't harm a thing.

Really, what do you say? You have a real unsettling manner about you, boy. So I've been told. Now, I think I've been exceedingly kind. But this is my final offer. Turn around now. And I won't have any reason to pull this trigger. Well, when you put it like that, it, uh,

It doesn't seem we have a choice. We. What do you mean? We. What's going on here? Stop! All of you! Stop right there!

Kyle? Kyle? What have you done, Kyle? Sorry. Oh, God. Sorry. I just thought, I mean, because of the gun and all. No, hey, no complaints from me.

Just a surprise. Aw. And the tension was just getting good. Is everybody okay? Yeah. I mean, well, kind of. He's a little flat on that side now. Whoa.

You thonged him? No, Kyle thonked. Look, I'm just a harmless bystander in all of this. I'm going to search his pockets for jerky. ingo. Nope. Hey, someone want to grab the legs? I've got them.

We have keys? Check. Moral qualms about all of this? Anyone? I found a dollar on him. I guess that's a no. All right, let's clown car it up, huh? We've still got ground to cover before the sun goes down.

If we're going to pull this off before Atlanta, we can't afford to spend all night out here fumbling around in the dark. Hello, Kyle. Hey, James. What? Lovely night. Yeah, if you're into creepy, badly-tended graveyards. shrouded by an eerie fog, illuminated only by scant, shimmering beams of lunar radiance,

weaving through the canopy to grace it all in an eternal otherworldly glow, which, I mean, I am. Breathtaking. Flashlights, crisp, delicious flashlights? It's straight ahead, I think. Hard to get an accurate read this far into the forest, but I'll try to narrow it down here. Understood. Good. Everyone stay alert and do try to avoid common horror film faux paws, huh?

I drive all the way out here bumping around, ass just as numb as a snowman's carrot. The last thing I need is for one of you to wander off and get machete or wake the living dead. Atticus, keep your top on. That's always how they get you. Think this is it. Over here. Hey, bring the shovel. I'll get it. Let's get our friend out of the back to... No tomb like the present. I'll help.

What is it, Matt? A headstone, I think. It's all covered in moss and hair. Oh, that's disquieting. Someone lose a gaggle of wigs? God, I hope so. Does anyone have a flint and striker? Um, do you mean a lighter?

Does anyone have a lighter? Please. Great Scott! What? What does it say? The flashlight, bring it closer. Here lies David Cummings. Born 1793. Died 1814.

1912. 1937. Brace yourself. Dot, dot, dot, dot. He died as he lived. stark naked and smiling broadly he no it doesn't say any of that wait lower down here more of that archaic scrawl peacock would you be so kind let's see below your somber stony head beneath at least six feet of course among the still and silent dead the key awaits you in the source

I'm just gonna start digging because I feel like we're gonna have to dig no matter what we might as well just start now and because I can dig it I've been trying to find a way to say that for like an hour nice taking charge ponds the beautiful human form in most I think at this point it's fried just about everything it's going to fry, so that's good.

It tastes like spicy pickles. Now where did I put that button? That is not where I expected. Here we go. There, if Alexis's modifications were successful, the story. should be flowing back at the compound. They are. You can't hear that?

Uh, hear what? Welcome back, listeners. I am a constant disappointment to those who put their faith in me most. And this is the no-sleep podcast. Got something. Do you, do you think a withered hand, but like super strong, like pop out through the middle of the lead, try to grab one of us,

and we're all just like, Atticus's face, his beautiful face, he's gone. We should never have come. No, just me. We've come all this way. We have to open it.

Yes, let's pry the lid off. David isn't. He's not in there, is he? No. It's empty. Except for this little, What is this? A canister?

It's got a little glass vial built into it. Whoa. It almost looks like mercury inside, but it's floating or shifting somehow. No key, no secret panels, hidden levers. It does not appear so... Strange. So, do we still dump this guy or... Yeah, I mean, I guess if David needs it again later, he can just take...

take him out, right? It does seem to be our best option, poor man. We certainly don't have time to watch Atticus dig another hole. The eyes have it, then, tipping him in. Son of us. Did the coffin just, like, digest the corpse? That would explain what I'm smelling. Hmm.

Should this be making me hungry? Uh, so anyway, I guess. That's a proper enough burial there. Um, not, uh, not what we were expecting. Perhaps, but a lovely ceremony. Anybody, you won't want to say something? I'm sorry, I hit you with a shovel. That was my bad, man.

And thanks for the truck. It was really generous of you. He didn't, uh, technically, you know what? That's a lovely sentiment. I'm just gonna go with that. And then I'll just slide the lid carefully here. We're back, back in place. There we go.

Why do I feel as though we've struck some sort of bargain? I have the same nagging feeling. Well, what's done is done. Let's re-burry this bone, huh? Kyle, you've the vial. I've the vial. Excellent. Let's get it back to the others at HQ

and see what we can learn. It's possible this is the key, looking for we just need to understand it better you know it uh it just occurred to me um uh did did anyone check his pulse no not really i found a dollar i'm sure Kyle got him before the yeah man I'm sure I got him he definitely didn't fall into the into the alive I hope not What a way to go, huh? Well, let's get on out of here

Before that hair grows back Atticus, how's your whole Expertly filled Great, and let's get back Do we have everybody? Where's James? Uh, it's just us Yeah, James isn't here

Of course James is here I've just been talking to him I... What has James been saying to you? Tell them nothing, Kyle They are incapable of understanding. Kyle, what did he tell you? I don't know.

He's really not here? Of course I'm here. I'm right here, Kyle. I won't leave you until it's all over. Get him in the truck. Nicole, keep an eye on him. Let's get back to base before this gets any weirder. Hair just grew back.

Of course it did. There's Lexus. Get it open. Open. Yeah, I'm on it. Just give me... Ah, come on! Get in! In! Lock it down! Sear the door! Their persistence is impressive.

Tell me about it. I thought we lost them in that Djibouticaba orchard. And yet here we are, under siege like it's 1204 all over again. Weird, weird references. Yeah, I've officially decided. I hate getting shot. shot. I hate it so much, you guys. I'll get a first aid kit. First aid. All right. I hope it has forceps. Don't go too far or crazy. They got me too. Honestly, I thought it would hurt more. You know what I mean? No. No, no, I don't know what you mean. There are a hundred foul-tempered fire ants inside my leg. Addison and they've all decided to hate me.

Ha, colorful metaphor. No, totally literal. I've got them, too. See, it must be something new. The local constabulary is trying out. No, oh, God, that's awful. Um, is there anything I can do? Sure, actually.

It'd be great if you could... Do we have wounded? I guess? Yes. Here. All right, let's see here. Oh, oh, my word. What did it do to the bone?

Oh, why is it? I know, right? We'll do everything we can to save the leg. But don't worry, worse comes to worse. We'll just have Alexis set you up with a really nice replacement. A little cup holder, it'll be great. Who's next? Oh, we got twin shoulders over here.

Yowch. Well, we'll get you patched up, not to worry. Seriously, I don't think I feel anything anymore. You get used to it. And you? Not gonna bite if we get too close, are ya? Are you talking to me or the ant? No, I'm fine. It's just a... Oh! Damn.

Okay, so you realize that there is a massive bullet hole in your hand, right? I did feel a little breezy in here. Yeah. They're just not giving up. How long do you think the door will hold? An hour? Maybe two with the barricade bar. to further fortify it. Should we hit the self-defense button? The what?

The red button in the control room there. Um, no. We shouldn't hit that. I'm like 99% sure that blows up the entire compound. The tunnels, the lake, the aqueduct. Not the pheasant sanctuary? Oh yeah. That button would blow those porinous and pheasant

straight to hell. Okay, then. Good to know. Up you get, Corinne. Away from the door. We've got you. What happened out there? Did you find the key? We found something, but it also might be that we found nothing.

Kyle, didn't get shot in the pocket, did you? I assume you're asking purely about the safety of the vial, and not my own well-being. It's about 70-30. Well, I'm touched. And yeah, I've got it. Well, come on, let's get you all down to the makeshift infirmary. We've been stocking supplies down in the dungeon room. There are also darts and a nice salad bar we set up. Fresh baby dills?

Do I look like I would give you old baby dills? Sounds like you guys have it all figured out here. How many left below? Still a handful of popsicles stuck in deep storage. Some of them have been down there so long their names have been corrupted. Could be anyone. Or anything, I suppose. It keeps asking for a password.

I tried Scotch. Scotch 1. Capital Scotch. Nothing. Ah, here we are. Hey, you guys are back. Whoa. What happened to everyone? Where to begin? We were put on the spot, see?

Taring through the streets, zazzled on noodle juice looking for trouble, when a whole copper-chopper squad tried to take us for a ride. But now we're back, and everything's hot-y-totsie. Oh, yeah, that actually just about covers it. Jeez. Well, I'm glad. You all made it. We've got medical supplies right over here. Let's get you up on the table. There we go.

Good. Good. Thanks. There is one more thing I need to show you. What is it? We found something else in the system. When we were trying to wake the others. I don't know how, but it's James. James is in the system? You mean he's awake somewhere? He's plugged in? No. He's still frozen.

or at least his body is. We can't get him out, but, well, see for yourself. James? Yes, Alexis. Everyone is back. They wanted to meet you. Oh, yes. Hello, everyone, and welcome back.

I have been monitoring the skirmish outside through the security station cameras. You are quite lucky to be alive. So it's you. You've been talking to me through the computer somehow. What? Did David put one of those little zappy chips in my head too. Is that it?

I am sorry, Kyle. I believe you are mistaken. I have not spoken with you in this present form, and not before this moment in many years. And I'm only getting the normal voices, Chip and all. Sure, you weren't just tired hearing things? I'm

positive. I could hear him as clearly as I can hear you now. He kept telling me to keep my eyes open. I don't understand. Hmm. James, how did you get into the Why is your body still frozen? I am unsure.

I seem to be myself, but I also feel certain programs governing my actions. I have access to additional memories beyond my own, as well as many skills I did not previously possess. This would seem to indicate that David integrated my brain patterns with the compound security system. Whether I am the actual James or merely a backup copy is unclear, even to me. Fascinating. What are these skills you mention? and we need every edge we can find if we're going to break this siege. I am able to control of various aspects of the compound.

Doors, elevators, security countermeasures, all are at my fingertips. However, I am also banned by the restricted clearance left in place by David. We will need to input the master passphrase in order for me to activate and control the exterior stunnet turrets, for example. Wait, are you in communication with the laboratory servers? Can you access the equipment? Yes, I believe I am able. Kyle, the vial, give it to Alexis. Let's load it into the matter scanner.

James, see what you can make of it. This is very unusual. It appears to be an injection device, loaded with a small cartridge containing an absorption agent and traces of cerebrospinal fluid. There is one additional element I am unable to identify. So, it's a syringe? Of sorts.

There is a switch on top of the... a device that will prime it for injection. Whoa, let me see. Careful, Kyle. Yeah, I see the button. Here we go. I truly do not know what the effect of this serum may be. I would not suggest human trials.

That's not what you're saying up here. Uh, Kyle. This is how it happens. This is how we all get out. There's no other way, you know that? Yeah, but still, you don't have to do this. There are options. We can just...

This is how it happens. What are you doing? Stop him. Oh, shh. Okay, okay, okay. He's still breathing. Help me get him up on the examination table. His vital signs are stable, and he is in no immediate danger.

However, he is experiencing elevated levels of activity centered around the hippocampus. It appears the substance he injected is attempting to integrate with his neuroanatomy. Okay, buddy? I am making a few adjustments to my scanner, or rather, the compound scanner, my apologies. I should now be able to tune in to Kyle's brainwaves. Alexis, please connect him to the neural hood. On it. There, ready.

Analyzing. Yes, this is becoming quite clear to me. It's all very simple, really. I should be able to load Kyle into a sort of simulated dreamscape wherein the memories of the last few weeks can play out in a secure, guided environment. allowing him to peacefully come to terms with his current state of injury. However, the serum he injected may modify these memories and attempt to lead him astray. I will make an effort to fuse more deeply with the simulation

so that I can better guide him if these false memories should interfere. So you'll be in there. You'll be able to relive those memories with Tyle. Even communicate with him? And in turn, communicate this information back to us? In theory, yes. Do it. Oh, and welcome to the team, officially.

A pleasure. Initiating simulation start-up sequence. Wait, something is scanning. Peter, please step back. You were about to experience a discharge. What, like a sneeze? Oh, no, I feel it coming on. It's story time.

You know, I've grown... to enjoy this routine. It's become second nature, really. Oh, uh-oh. I guess I wasn't quite as agile as I thought, getting in the door. Got me right in the button. Pocket all for ants. Well, give me the pieces. Come on. Get them out of your... Ah, those things really do sting. We have to fix it before that microchip thing scrambles any more of his brain. Well, the transmitter's fine. I'll just reroute and manually send the go signal with another power source.

Is there a defibrillator or something in here? Oh, no need for that. I'll be coming back around. I can finally be of some use to the show. Just tell me what goes where. Okay, you're going to pinch those two wires together. Got it. Got it.

All right, we all know what to do. James, get the simulator up and running. Keep watch over Kyle's fragile sanity. Understood. Anybody wounded? Stop being that. ASAP. Secure the front door.

Prepare. Non-lethal weaponry, if it should fall. Kyle and James are searching for the password. If they find it, James will activate the turrets, bust everyone else out of cold storage, and we will all waltz on out of here. Literally, if we so desire. All right.

Here it comes. Nice. Entering dreamscape in three, two, one. Welcome, friends. I am certain by now you've grown tired of this feeble recurring intro gag, wherein I fail to introduce myself. And this is the no sleep podcast. Where am I?

What's going on? That hurt so much in my brain. Still. Ah, Kyle, welcome back. I am pleased to report that you have fully reoriented. Re-what? Your brain has finished processing the memories of the last few weeks. You have, in a sense, caught up to the present.

I think I understand. I'm still lying there on the examination table. In the compound? I could hear you guys helping me. I tried to respond. So I'm connected to this fake world? Correct. Is everything okay out there?

Have they broken down the door yet? Do not concern yourself. Only a moment has passed since our connection was formed. Things move a little slowly here. They have time yet. I feel good? It feels powerful here. Safe.

I am happy to hear you say that. I put much of myself into this simulation. It was my mind. I hope that this program would assist with an easy transition. The damage your brain suffered as a result of the serum has been 86% repaired. It is not ideal, but will suffice for now. Hybridization, however, was 100% successful. Hybridization?

Oh, yes. The tissue of your brain, it seems, is rather easily coerced. I was able to find many rewarding footprints. I'm not sure I understand. We were here to find the password, right? this stuff, the injection, you were in my head. You told me this was the right thing to do. Oh, it is.

I suppose there is no longer need for pretense in this place. As I have you so utterly, intimately, alone. Your innermost thoughts at my fingertips, only fair to return the favor with an iota of introduction. I am not, James, you see? Not some pathetic flesh feast made still by something as crass as temperature. I am not one of you. Alexis, I need to get out.

Get me out of here. Oh, yes. Cry for hell. Do. Wine to the others. It really is what your species is best at. All talk, no action. Alexis!

You really thought this was all about you? A sprawling dungeon, a secure compound, all to house a few shabby thespians and their mistreated crew. Your arrogance sickens me, as it sickens all denizens of the substructure. What are you? I am a merry mixture of many places, many faces. We are the great amalgam. Would you like to see the future now, Kyle?

Wake up then. Open your eyes and... He's back. He's back. Nikol, I think you can take the syringe out now. Oh, sorry. Kyle, are you okay? Yes. Yes, I am alive. You were thrashing around trying to scream something to us. Like you were caught in a nightmare. James stopped responding. We thought we lost you both. I am terribly sorry to worry you.

What happened? Did you find the password? There is no password. I found the source. But I believe what you are truly asking is, am I able to rescind the lockdown? Am I now capable of releasing every last specimen from David's private collection? And are you? Yes.

Door's not going to hold out much longer up there. Mike did the best he could, but we're going to have company real soon. Understood. Kyle, can you stand? I can. Interface is right over there. Let's get full access to the system, huh? See what our options are to shoo away these crows.

That interface will not suffice. I need to use the main control console. upstairs. Uh, sure. I'll come with you. Hold still, geez. You're going to tear your hand off. There, try not to move your fingers for a while. How did you fix his hand? Story button? Two birds. Hmm. Now at least I'll stop losing the damn thing. Puts a bit of a damper in my breeze hole, but I'll get over it. I like the splash of green. Brightens you up a bit. Aw. How's the leg, Corinne? I'm better. Tingles. Bio-gill flushed out the ants. I can put a little weight on it. This is maddeningly pointless. The console, hmm? Let's get up to the main console.

Yes, we're going. Just, hold on. Hey. Does Kyle seem strange to anyone else? Uh, yeah, big time. Should he be alone with the controls? There's not much he can do with that. about this. The crystal inside the story button also acts as a battery of sorts for that control station. Frankly, I didn't want anybody messing with it while we were gone. Nikol, how's your shoulder? Never better. With you then?

I would appreciate a competent pugilist, just in case. Everybody else, stay alert. If the door is breached, the alarm will sound. Anyone fancies bolting? up the stairs to save us, we'd sure be appreciative. No obligation. Indeed. Safety first and all that. If things go super south, make your way deeper into the compound. Take out the lights. Stay hidden, like tiny, quiet little mice.

Most of us will die in the dark among the endless, echoing screams of our friends, Mixing with our own in some twisted harmony. It's, well, it's been a pleasure. It truly has. Uh, yeah. Or I could reroute the pneumatics to deliver various ordinance from the armory to the Great Hall in case they get in. Set up an ambush on our own terms. Yeah, I'm not really trusting Kyle to get the defenses online after all this. Exactly.

So we could instead all work together to lure them in here with. us and... Pop goes the weasel? We just need someone to go down in the armory to fill the tubes with whatever we've got. Grenades, mines, pineapple. I don't know. You'll figure it out. Aye, aye, captain. You can count on me. Yeah, I could go in for a bit of that.

Then you can count on us. That gives me an idea, actually. Corinne, are you well enough to accompany me to the arboretum? Oh, sure. All my ant bites filled the bloodstream with savory toxins which are treating me all kinds. Kinds of right. That's probably all the morphine we gave you. Or perhaps a clever combination of both?

Hmm? See, I'm still one step ahead of you, Sir Reginald. I'll keep an eye on her. So, wait, we're not hiding? Oh, man, I've been working out my crouch muscles. For crouching. I could crouch for days down there in the dark. Go use your...

Cathers to help Mike hold the door, huh? As for the rest of you, good job on Plan B. Nicole and I will give Kyle one cautious chance to dispel the siege while expecting the worst. If the door should rupture, we'll fall back to the Great Hall. Run directly for the far wall and hug it like it missed you. We'll angle the tubes to make our barrage dead center. Anyone behind us that makes it into the Great Hall still breathing? They don't make it back out, understood?

We have secrets to protect. We will make them regret their trespass. How's it looking? It's looking grim, man. Hurry! Cads are coming in hot. It doesn't matter. Even so, this isn't going to hold.

Yeah, it does seem a little ludicrous feeling for story purposes that it's held this long. What? Uh, hang in there. You must understand how much is at stake here. Yet you play these little pranks. Toy with me. It is aggravating. Oh, all right.

Look, man, I don't really know how to say this without coming across a little, uh, judge not lest ye be judged. But you're acting a bit of a fruitcake, a bit of a double nut muffin, my friend, a little weird. Is that so? Yeah, we were just talking about it downstairs behind your back. What he means to say is that we're all worried about you. Keep your worry. activate the console and I will save your friends. Don't you mean our friends?

You insult me. Activate it. Look, I don't think so, man. This will all end far faster if you just do as you are told. Then again, there's always plan B. Activate the console where I will tear your hand away at the wrist. That's quite enough. We'll regret this when the rest of me gets up here.

I'm sure. Now shut it. Do you hear that? No, I... The battering ram stopped. Go check it out. I've got this. Right.

On it. And thank you for that. What happened? I'm not sure. They just stopped. No, maybe the ram got tired. You do know it's not an actual ram, right? Ah, they really did a number on the door.

Hey, I can see through the crack over here by the hinges. I don't see the beacon light. I can't hear sirens. It's dark out there. Very dark. Get back. Get back. Daddy's home. You.

Beautiful face. What did you do? I told you to stay put, to watch over the stories, to keep the peace. What did you do instead, huh? He broke your equipment. meant. He violated your private diary. He thonged a man. Well, Kyle Thonk. He desecrated your grave. He never even introduced himself. How do you know all this? Are you spying on us from the bushes or something? We listened to the show. Do you have any idea how big Texas is? We listened a few times.

What happened to the officers outside? Who? The others outside. They were trying to break down the door. Of course, I'm just toying with you. I, uh, I handled them. They're dead? Goodness, no. I merely handled them. My fault, really. I picked up another rare, esoteric tome for the club while we were in Portland.

Shouldn't have left it lying around the van. If man is not meant to practice unspeakable arcane powers while careening through the American Midwest at highway speeds, then I am no man. You have much to answer for, Lewis, more than you may even know. You made a play for it, didn't you? My little secret? I did what any caged animal would have given the chance. Yes, I made a play for it.

Tell me you didn't use it. I didn't get the chance, too, because Kyle... Well, he heard them calling. He injected it. How could you be so? Where is he? Nichols watching him in the control room there. Beanbag rounds loaded

Go, put him under, then sit at him, then restrain him Aye, aye, sir He's down Nicole, are you all right? I need someone in here I'm here, what happened? He shoved past me when he saw the gun, knocked me down

I'll be fine, just need a minute Excellent shot, Erica I imagine that will be excruciating when he wakes up Speaking of, Miss Goodnight Would you help me get him down to the dungeon. Of course. We'll get it out of him. We can fix this. There's still time. Yes. Time. I believe I am ready.

Peter, give me a hand. Sure thing. Here we go. Pathetic. Let's put this back where it belongs. Nicole, what are you doing? No, uh-uh, uh-uh. Guess again. Amalgam? The all and only. It's been so very long since I've been free.

So very long, David. Let's change that, shall we? Now we are finally free, and soon we will all of us be one. I have not known joy in many years. I am overwhelmed. This is bad, guys. This is world-endingly bad. We need to move. Peter, you have to defend yourself. We cannot allow this to happen. Defend yourself. Is he even conscious? I don't know. Let's go.

Hey, Alexis is setting up some kind of trap in the Great Hall. Might be our best chance of making a stand. We're supposed to hug the far wall. Right. Love a good ambush. To the Great Hall, then. Everyone locked and loaded? Ready as I'll ever be to face a screaming horde of newly unfrozen monstrosities? I take it you've never had a late-night craving for fish fingers? Oh, we've all been there. Can we focus on not dying for a minute? This way. Hey, grab these earpieces. Search the channel, see if anyone's out there.

Hello? Hello? David? Jessica? I'm glad to hear your voices. We are heading for the Great Hall as per instruction. Also, David. Good. We have a party ready. Kyle, Nicole, and Peter are out of commission. We have an infection.

I understand you made some modifications to the button. Can you pinpoint the frequency again to send the activation signal without the crystal itself? It's about that time, but I don't think Peter's going to make it. Hey, touring team, welcome home. Corinne and I are heading back from the Arboretum. We got upgrades and I didn't die. Glad to hear it. See you soon.

I'll send the stories now. Do it. Let's get this train back on track. Oh, dear listeners, unable to properly express the depth of my emotion towards you, choosing to instead remain outside in the distant bushes, cold, aloof. And this is the No Sleep podcast. They're almost on you. Armory, are you ready? Armory ready.

We'll keep the projectiles flowing down here if you do the same. Great Hall, are you ready? Hell no, but they're coming regardless. Is everyone armed? In a manner of speaking. Corinne and I selected some of the more volatile crossbreeds from the Arboretum and integrated the deadliest features with our own cellular structure. I do actually need sunlight to live now, like some sort of reverse vampire, but check it out.

Roses wither, but the thorns remain. Should I show them mine? It's silly. It's just like a vine whip thing. Those are the two coolest things. I've ever seen. Hey, we have everyone on this channel, right? Look, I just want to say, I've made a lot of mistakes getting here.

I tried to make up for as many as them as I could, but there are some sins you simply can't wash away. I want to say, working with you all, protecting the world, cataloging its secrets these last few years. I'm so damn proud of what we've done here. I'm so damn proud of all of you. Ditto, boss man. I have privilege is always to serve.

I don't know quite how this is going to play out, but no matter the outcome, I'm right where I want to be, standing with you all. We're in this together, to the very end. Give them hell. Fire! Fire! I feel the fragments of myself being picked off,

dying away, deep inside. It is an agony I am unable to describe. Still, you'll feel. friends will not find success. I am too many. This all could have been avoided. You did not all need to die. I didn't want anyone to die. I just... I would not suggest that you try to stand. You've lost. Well, that's not sugarcoat things. A fatal amount of blood. I take no pleasure in telling you that your best course of action here. is to merely lay down and die. Oh, I appreciate the permission.

Paul, the same to you. Ours? You severely overestimate your friend's child? You don't know anything about them. That's the thing. You may have been locked up down here for centuries, millennia. Doesn't matter. You think you know it all, that you've seen it all.

But the people... that gravitated to this place to David. We've made something new, something no one is going to see coming. They're really putting the hurt to you down there, aren't they? Silence! Don't be like that. Not here at the last.

We should, all of us, attempt to leave this world peacefully, with a quiet dignity, Preferably better than we found it. Don't you agree? The great hall is overrun. That was the last of their defense. They are coming for you now. We will scour the remainder from their alcoves.

All will be purged. Your world is at an end. Hardly. No! What have you done? I need to get out of here. I need to be free. Why are all the lights off? Anybody?

Hello? Hey, where's the welcome wagon, yo? We've been busting our asses on tour. Where is everybody? Oh, God. Kyle? Is he okay? Kyle?

Hey, wake up. That's it. David? Guys? Hey, geez. I was... I had, and you were... Hey, you were all there.

What happened, Kyle? I don't, no. How did the hosting go? Did you get the stories out on time? Hosting? Yes, you did host, didn't you? I... You don't know, got it.

Okay, I guess we'll just have to listen back to what went out after we get settled in. Hey, I'm sure you did your best, Kyle. Now, why don't you go get some sleep? You look like you need it. Guys, wait. here on his temple. Does that look like a needle marked to anyone else? What?

Like an injection site? What the hell? Where's Peter? He's still locked in the dungeon. Down with the others, we've all been shackled the entire time. Huh. Well, maybe there's just a mosquito in here or something. Let's get unpacked.

It's been a long day. Kyle, I may as well unshackle you now. You can go top up the feed bags down there. Get yourself a handful of it. about. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hey, uh, Peter.

What? Hey, sorry, it's, it's just the tour group just got back, and I, I'm really having trouble remembering what happened. I think I was supposed to be in charge, but I wasn't, I wasn't in charge of anything. It was like some horrible nightmare. Huh, you just described literally every day of my life. Kyle, is there a point? this? I just... I know this might sound silly, and I'm really sorry, but you didn't like...

You didn't break out of here and put something in my brain while I was asleep in the control booth, right? No, how would I have possibly done that, Kyle? Hmm? Hmm? Yeah, of course. Silly. I... I just wanted to make sure. Hey, anything I can do to provide a little peace of mind. Have a good night, Kyle. Yeah, uh, good night. 2018 by Creative Reason Media, Inc.

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