The NoSleep Podcast - NoSleep Podcast S16E17

Episode Date: August 1, 2021

It’s Episode 17 of Season 16. Our correspondence implores us to keep our bodies in one piece. “Hal Sharkey’s ‘Everything’ Podcast” written by William Stuart (Story starts around 00:06:00) TRIGGER WARNING!Produced by: Phil MichalskiCast: Hal Sharkey – Mick Wingert, Narrator – Atticus Jackson“The Cannibal Cocktails” written by Taylour McNelly (Story starts around 00:26:20)Produced by: Jeff ClementCast: Narrator – Peter Lewis“Tooth Fairy” written by AM Cruz (Story starts around 00:44:00) TRIGGER WARNING!Produced by: Phil MichalskiCast: Narrator – Wafiyyah White, The Man – Jesse Cornett, Little Girl – Mary Murphy“I Wanted You to Hear It from Me” written by Emily Hyatt (Story starts around 00:55:25)Produced by: Phil MichalskiCast: Narrator – Sarah Ruth Thomas, The Voice – Erin Lillis, Elena – Erika Sanderson, Jack – Atticus Jackson“Heartland” written by George Cotronis (Story starts around 01:17:35) TRIGGER WARNING!Produced by: Phil MichalskiCast: Narrator – Graham Rowat“The Firewall” written by Marcus Damanda (Story starts around 01:36:40)Produced by: Jesse CornettCast: Kaden – Mike DelGaudio, Harper – Dan Zappulla, The Lackey – Nichole Goodnight, Mama Zombie – Nikolle Doolin, Laughing Dead Guy – Jesse Cornett, Older female zombie – Mary Murphy, Zombie 1 – Peter Lewis, Zombie 2 – Atticus Jackson  This episode is sponsored by:HelloFresh – With HelloFresh, you get fresh, pre-measured ingredients and mouthwatering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable ñ and that’s why it’s America’s #1 meal kit!. Go to HelloFresh.com/nosleep14 and use code nosleep14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping!Quip – Quip is the good habits company for oral health. With their leading-edge electric toothbrush combined with dentist-recommend scheduled replacement plans for brush heads, toothpaste, floss, and now their new mouthwash! And if you go to getquip.com/nosleep5 you’ll get $5 off a Mouthwash Starter Kit, which includes a refillable dispenser and a 90-dose supply of Quip’s 4x concentrated formula.  Click here to learn more about The NoSleep Podcast team Click here to learn more about William Stuart Click here to learn more about George Cotronis Click here to learn more about Marcus Damanda  Executive Producer & Host: David CummingsMusical score composed by: Brandon Boone“I Wanted You to Hear It from Me” illustration courtesy of Alia Synesthesia Audio program ©2021 – Creative Reason Media Inc. – All Rights Reserved – No reproduction or use of this content is permitted without the express written consent of Creative Reason Media Inc. The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A brand new episode of the No Sleep Podcast coming right up. And it just barely got finished in time. Hint, hint. Why are you looking at me? I got my work completed. Just under the wire. You would have been done sooner if you didn't waste time on stuff like sleeping and bathing and eating. You're right.

Meals are my downfall. But it takes a lot of time to shop for groceries and prep meals. That's why I highly recommend using Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh cuts out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips so you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table in just about 30 minutes or less. That sounds like the perfect option. You know, I have been meaning to expand my culinary skills, but you keep me so busy. You should try HelloFresh's quick and easy meals, 15 to 20 minute dinners,

breakfast on the go, and more easy options, perfect for your busy lifestyle. Hello. Hello Fresh really does have meal options for every budget and lifestyle. You know what I like to do? I prep my Hello Fresh meals, like the yummy beef and ricotta enchiladas with green salad, while listening to my favorite podcast. Imagine that. Slicing and stirring while listening to creepy horror stories. So people could listen to me while they cook?

That's deliciously frightful. Not only that, it's a much better value. Hello Fresh is 28% cheaper than shopping at your local grocery store. and 72% cheaper than a restaurant meal without sacrificing the quality. So it really is that easy to make Hello Fresh meals? It really is. Listen, my kitchen supplies are kind of sparse. I don't have lots of fancy kitchen implements,

but I can make delicious and healthy meals with the most basic pans and knives and those scoopy things. Spoons? Yeah, that's it. Spoons. So how do we scoop up these amazing Hello Fresh deals of meals? Just go to hellofresh.com slash no sleep 14. That's no sleep and the number 14.

And use code no sleep 14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping. Wow, up to 14 free meals plus free shipping by going to hellofresh.com slash no sleep 14. I can't resist a deal like that. That's why HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit. Okay, I'll get back to work so I can get it done before my HelloFresh. delivery arrives good man and we'll get started with the horror right now the dark hours in the letters long lost and forgotten there are tales of horror to frighten and disturb come join us as we delve deep into the darkness into the sleepless

hours when you dare not close your eyes for the no sleep. Chapter 17. Welcome, sleepless listeners. I'm your host, David Cummings. Well, I'm back in Canada for the time being. Joanna is still in New Jersey. As soon as we were able, we returned to the Whispering Pages bookstore.

The place was in mild disarray. The cops had still wanted an explanation for all the eyewitness accounts of the now intact store exploding. and had declared it a crime scene for as long as they could justify, until being forced to chalk it up to mass hysteria. As soon as we entered the store, I could tell something was bothering, Joanna, and it wasn't the disorganized books. I can feel something, she said when I asked. She began walking the aisles,

her fingertips brushing the spines of the books, until she jumped back as if she had received an electric shock. I knew exactly what was happening. She was feeling the energy from certain stories, as I've been able to since the beginning. Our theory is that when we were dragged from the bookstore by the unknown figure, their touch enabled this in Joanna. That's part of the weirdness of this. Nobody can provide answers, but when you theorize them yourself,

it's like you just know when they're right, in the same way you can tell which stories or documents are right. Joanna and I spent some time testing the books in Whispering Pages. We were each able to identify the right book out of a selection chosen by the other. We were both getting the same energy from the same books, no doubt about it. Here's what bothers me the most, though. Our storage unit has some published works, true, but it's mostly documents, correspondence, etc. Whispering Pages stock is almost exclusively second-hand copies of mainstream published

fiction, some public domain, and some I couldn't legally perform on the show. So, Joanna is still in New Jersey, cataloging every single book within Whispering Page's walls that she senses something from. We're hoping to find a connecting thread, a trend, because at a glance, there was none. And I'm back in Canada, delving further into the storage unit to find stories I can share. Today's story came from a series of photographs printed out on standard paper. You'll see why. Author William Stewart transcribed the text from the photographs, and Mick Wingerth and Atticus Jackson have provided a dramatic performance for us.

So today we share a story I was able to confirm the veracity of the final month of Hal Sharkey's Everything Podcast. The following is a series of podcast, descriptions by a guy whose show I've followed for years. His name is Hal Sharkey, or Hal 2001 on the forums. If you haven't heard of him, Hal does a daily show where he provides in-depth analysis and reviews of movies, books, and cool products. Until recently, the show has always been light and fun, except in brief moments of insight

when he was reviewing a serious movie or book or something. In the past few weeks, something changed. At first glance, it seems like Hal had some kind of nervous breakdown. He started getting really weird, and then he just stopped posting. But for almost a decade, he did a show almost every weekday. His is one of the only few podcasts that have over 2,000 episodes. I've been a religious follower of his very week. for the better part of 10 years, and I feel like I know the man.

This is really, really strange. What's even more strange is that since Hal quit posting, his show has disappeared from all podcast platforms, and his website's been taken down. Since I started sharing these transcripts, my posts have been deleted. I don't know why. I've contacted the admins of several forums, but they act like they don't know what I'm talking about.

Something is terribly wrong here. Note, these are transcripts from his podcast. Some of this may be hard to read because I had to take pictures of my screen to capture the text. For some reason, I couldn't take a screenshot of his website before it was taken down. December 15th, 2018. So as best as I can without spoilers, the ritual is, is basically a supernatural version of Predator with a lot of skinny British guys

instead of heavily armed commandos. I mean, it's okay, but for my money, I'd rather just have watched Hawkins tell his off-color jokes again. Two stars. And today's item review that you can purchase by clicking on the link below is the Dorset PX-12 Deluxe Waffle Iron and Panini Maker. How does it work? Each cast iron plate is reversible

so that you get two appliances in one. When breakfast is done, simply release the catch on the bottom and flip the plate over to the flat side, and you can make a press sandwich. And, and here's the kicker. If you only flip one of the plates, you can make foods that are waffled on one side and flat on the other. I never knew I needed that feature until I got the PX12, but now I can't imagine life without it. Five out of five stars. December 16th, 2018. Welcome to How's Everything Show, where we're a lot of you.

We talk about everything. Episode 2479. That's right, folks. Only 21 days to go until a big 2,500. Do you know how hard it is to come up with 2,500 things to talk about? It's not easy.

I'm just kidding. I mean, it does take a lot of work and all, but you guys make it all worthwhile. And to prove how much you all mean to me, We'll be doing a massive giveaway for 2,500. So the countdown is on. This week, we're going to talk about Kurt Russell. From dancing Disney Kid to Santa Claus, we're going all out.

Did you know that as he lay dying, Walt Disney, in a sudden burst of energy, demanded a pen and piece of paper. He got his pen and his paper, and then he scrawled the name Kurt Russell on it before laying down and going to that great big castle in the sky. and nobody knows why. Hmm? So, let's start with Kurt's early work, including TV series as a child actor.

And that's enough for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss the Disney airs, hopefully blow through some of the more obscure stuff, although there are some true gems in there. And then we'll get to the good stuff, like John Carpenter, The Thing, Escape from New York, and, of course, Goldie Hawn. Today's item review comes to us from kitchen magic.

I know. I know. But I've been on a cooking kick lately, but I've been getting some really cool stuff. The kit you see can be purchased by clicking the link below. This is a traveling food processor. Not much different from a regular food processor, except that the whole thing comes apart and packs into itself for easy transportation. Going to an Airbnb for the weekend.

tired of digging through cabinets and hoping they have what you need, bring kitchen magic with you, and you have everything at your fingertips. I got one just the other day, and my breakfast smoothies have never been tasty here. Five out of five stars. December 18th, 2018. Hey, everyone, sorry for no show yesterday.

They're installing something in the neighborhood, and the internet was totally down for most of the evening. Not my fault, but here we are with post 2480, Let's get back to Kurt Russell, okay? Okay. Kurt began working with John Carpenter when he played Elvis in the 1979 made-for-TV movie, appropriately named Elvis. I was surprised, actually, by how good this movie was.

December 22nd, 2018. If there were enough curse words to express how frustrating the past few days have been, I still don't think it would be enough. First the internet, then the cable, then my cell phones. Technical difficulties and slow uploads are keeping me from doing my normal thing, okay? But I want to stay on track for episode 2,500. So I'll forgive myself if you'll forgive me, okay? This is basically all I can do for a post today, so I'll be back tomorrow with part three of the Kurt Russell experience.

Ciao. December 25th, 2018. Merry Christmas. I love you all. December 30th, 2018. Happy New Year. I'll be back as soon as I can. January 2nd, 2019. Hello, all you happy people.

Sheesh. Here we are, let's see, number 2484. Now, I hate to do it, but I have to count the last few posts to keep us on schedule for the 2,500th episode extravaganza. It's been annoying, but let me tell you, that whatever maintenance they did at the back of the neighborhood has been worth it. My internet speed is more than tripled. There's a whole new slew of channels on TV,

and now I have full bars on my cell where I used to have two. So I'll forgive them for the interruptions. Now, before we get started, shout out to Katie 242 and Chris 679 for their Patreon support. Every little bit helps. And now, on to the show. And our item of today is a, universal remote control in the shape of a wand from the Harry Potter universe.

Fully programmable. You can turn your lights on and off, open and close your garage door, and activate Alexa with a simple flick of the wrist. I've been using it for days and it never gets old. Get yours today at the link below and we'll see you tomorrow. January 3rd, 2019. Great show today and I want to give a shout out to Celia 7 and S. Shadow 2 on the blog. Great discussion there. Uh, and no, no, no, everything's just fine. You know, life happens

and it takes you off your schedule, you know? Anyway, today's item of the day is the USMC fighting and utility knife by Kbar. Now, I'm no hunter, but I can imagine that peeling the skin from a still steaming buck on a brisk winter morning would be pretty fun with a tool like this. 10 inch blade, Kidex sheath and made in the good old US of A. Many a man met his good and bloody end at the point of one of these babies. You remember that scene from saving Private Ryan where the big German stabs Adam Goldberg through the heart. That was a K-bar. Get yours today at the link below.

January 4th, 2019. You ever sit and wonder if anything you do is worth it? At all? I mean, I know I do. Here I am in my 40s, no wife, no kids, shitty job with an even shittier boss, and the only thing I hope for at the end of the day is to get a couple of acknowledgments from the internet. Just a few fucking crumbs. But it's like pulling teeth to get even a couple of comments or shares.

Do you know how much time it takes to make this show every day? Do you care? Probably not. To busy scrolling to the next picture of some woman's ass. Fuckers. Anyway, here's the fucking show for what it's worth. Note. Prior to this episode, Hal Sharkey had never used foul language of any kind on his show.

In nearly ten years, he'd never even said hell or damn. He's mentioned many times that in the sea of infinite crudeness, he was proud that his show could be enjoyed by anyone and ever. Everyone. 2486 marks a dramatic change to the tone and content of the podcast. I'm another day as the blue microphone by Yeti. Yes, you two can scream into the void with no one to hear you, but a few whiny ass sycophants who only seem to want to bitch about what you're not doing right. $139 at the link, but you can probably find it cheaper on eBay where smarter people than I have decided to do something better with their time.

Look at me. I've got internet. Wee. January 5th, 2019. Episode 2487, 13 away from the end. The end? Maybe.

I don't know. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I've been stressed. And, you know, the holidays have not been kind. Um, I think I might have caught a bug or something because I've basically been feeling tired and useless. and I just can't seem to shake it. I'll do my best to push through if you'll just bear with me.

I really do care about you guys. I mean it. Anyway, we got off track a little bit, so I'm going to skip ahead to Big Trouble in Little China. Classic movie, one of my favorites. The way old snake takes out all those magic Chinamen is just plain artful. Moving on to Overboard. Now, why would the guy from the thing, being such a shitty movie.

I'd have called up my agent and told him to go fuck himself for sending me a script like that. Guess he got to plow Goldie between takes, though, so probably wasn't all bad. Did you know that a cockroach can live without its head for a really long time? I caught this one the other day and popped its head off with a pair of nail clippers.

I put it in a jar on my desk and the little bastard still running around. Tango and Cash was underrated but nobody's seen it, so I won't bother. Tombstone is worth its own show, so we'll stop there. Today's item of the day is the world's fastest internet brought to you by Norcom. Bringing you the best in post-5G speeds, click the link below to have a Norcom node installed in your neighborhood.

Norcom is the only independent service provider that guarantees speeds over 70% faster than the competition without a contract. That's Norcom. Note. Episodes 2488 through 2490 were normal. The Tombstone episode in particular was extra long and full of love and humor. Those have been left out. January 10th, 2019.

Episode 2491, 10 more to go. Slaughter them all! Slaughter them all! Headless roach is still alive. Can't eat, but doesn't seem to mind. I plaited a garden once. It got destroyed by pestilence. Pestolence! Pests!

little fucking bugs. You know what I did? I turned it all into the dirt and let my dog shit on it. Stupid Earth always making everything so goddamn difficult. I should have kept the head. I wonder if I could reattach it. Would it be thankful? Would it give me a like or a share? Oh, Jesus, what is wrong with me? The furious circles. The furious circles. The furious circles. Sounds like a good name for a band. The furious circles. Why would a circle be furious? Circles don't have heads to lose.

I watched another Jack Russell movie, but it didn't sink in. I just sat there watching the pretty lights flicker all around and the furious circle circling furiously. Did you hear that? My neighbor must have seen the furious circles, too. Blow his own dumbass head clean off his shoulders. Said it wasn't enough. What's not enough, Rambo?

Oh, oh, oh, Rambo! When I run the, um, when the headlock cockroach shops moving, we'll do a thing about Rambo. Yes. I've been reading your emails, and for the last time, I'm fine.

Just something in the water, you know. Maybe. Today's item of the day is something everybody needs in this day and age, body armor. This set arrived on my doorstep a couple of days ago, and I haven't taken it off. Specksheet says it's the top end of light plate Kevlar, and an experimental fiber they can't discuss.

You know that guy, who shot up that auditorium in, uh, um, was it Russia? Or was it Belgium? I don't remember. Maybe Spain. But anyway, that's why it took so many shots to take him down. He had on a set of these babies. Not that I endorse shooting anything up, not even a little.

But when they start shooting, you'll be safe enough, I suppose. Now there isn't a link for this. You have to follow these instructions. I've edited the show notes for. for episode 229. There you will find a link that will take you to a document. Copy the text,

then close your browser, and open a new one, and paste the text. This special promotion for a limited time suit is free. You know, just claim it, and it's yours.

This fucking cockroach is fascinating. January 15th, 2019. Welcome to episode 2492. of the Hal's Everything show. I'm Hal, your host, and, um... Note. There's about 45 seconds of silence here.

They sent me a gun. Two guns, actually. The digital doorbell camera I endorsed in episode 1966 did not see who dropped off the package. One of them's a pistol, and the other one looks like something out of an alien movie, and bullets. And, oh, Wyatt died.

I, uh, two more neighbors have killed themselves, and my head hurts really bad. The furious circles are, um, they, uh, they, they said they take it from here. It was in the box where they said that. Thanks, Hal, we'll take it from here. That's what it said. The internet is so fast now, and I started to wonder if that's where they came from. That's when it all started, I guess. That was when Kurt Russell was Santa Claus, if I remember, right?

That night I had a nosebleed and then masturbated to a bunch of, old pictures of Goldie Hahn from back in the 80s. I remember getting blood on my shirt and thinking how embarrassing. And then, no, Goldie from 35 years ago can't see me. Doesn't care about my shirt. Couldn't care about my shirt. But I was embarrassed anyway. And Wyatt, that's what I named my roach.

He stopped moving yesterday. Just stopped. So I did what anyone with furious circles would do. I dug through the trash until I found. found his head, I had to, you know, I had to do something. I had to try. You see, Wyatt Earp was my friend, and I'm Doc Holliday. Holiday. We stick together, you know, so I dug until I found his head, I think, and I glued it back on. First, it just sort of held there, you know? I thought that maybe the circuitry would just reattach itself and that Wyatt would wake up. But then

I got the glue and I glued it back on and I sat and I waited and I waited but he never he never moved so I did the only thing I could think of you know I mean I took that stupid head off of him he just didn't look right with it on you know and then I said a little prayer and then I ate him I chewed him up real good now why it's a part of me and no matter what no head no glue no furious circles can take him from me because now he's safe Inside my... It still makes me sad. We'll take it from here.

I don't know what that means. Three dead neighbors in seven days is a lot, but I don't think Wyatt will let me become one of them. I'm sitting here now, though. Wyatt and I have a plan. I'm taking all of the bullets and putting them into the clips. When the furious circles come. That's it. That's it for tonight.

Maybe we'll be back tomorrow. Um, it depends on the furious circles. Hey, Joanna. I did the Hal Sharkey one. Yeah, that podcaster I showed you who disappeared. Oh, just that one. I'm only doing one per episode. As long as I need to, I guess.

Yeah, I don't like the loss of control. It almost feels like the stories will get told whether I want to tell them or not. Cannibal. It's like you said last year. It feels like we're just by the author. Taylor. The McNally performed by Peter Lewis.

Enjoy a delicious meal. Welcome to the cannibal cocktails, the latest in the Cannibal Collections. This installment focuses on how you can include human body parts in several delicious cocktails to serve at your next party or gathering. Slicing and icing a human to get ingredients, for your recipes can put on a great show

while your favorite guests enjoy the fruits of your labor. Preparations ahead of time, hmm? To really spice up your cannibal cocktails, you can add some extra umph to the most boring ingredient. Ice cubes. Pull the teeth directly out of the mouth and put one in each cube of an ice cube tray.

For best results, leave any blood or floges. Leshy remains attached to the teeth. Fill the tray with water and freeze. In normal cocktails, the ice cubes melt and water down the delicious flavor of each drink, but with the cannibal twist, as the ice melts, it releases the bloody and pulpy flavor of a freshly pulled tooth. Pulling teeth out of your obtained human can be done at any time. A lot of the same. A lot of the or dead, as long as enough time is left to freeze the water. However, to prepare enough bile for the following drink recipes, it's best to keep the human alive and without food for at least a week.

Yes, the author recognizes that this is quite a commitment to make just for a few drinks, but the flavor is exquisite enough to justify the hassle. As referenced in other cannibal collections, Series investing in an underground dungeon for storing specimens will reap rewards far beyond the material cost. See Cannibal Containment, a new way to grow your own food, fashioned. This classic cocktail, enjoyed by all for centuries, has had its recipe adapted for those of a refined and particular taste.

You'll find that the replacement of certain ingredients does not detract from the original taste, but in fact enhances the various flavors that make this cocktail a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience. Ingredients. One-half-teaspoon sugar, one eyeball, preferably fresh, one teaspoon water, two ounces bourbon, garnish orange peel, or freshly zested human skin. Add the sugar to a low-ball glass, then add water, and stir until sugar is nearly dissolved. In order to properly harvest an eye for this drink, a grapefruit spoon is absolutely essential. Use your thumb and forefinger to peel back the eyelids, and with your other hand, angle the spoon down and behind the eye.

The serrated edge of the spoon does an excellent. job of severing the optic nerve, and with slight upwards pressure, the eye should pop cleanly out of the socket. Once you have it in your hand, grab a paring knife and cut into the white of the eye, right alongside the iris. There, hold the eye above the low ball glass and gently squeeze. The secretions of the eye should flow nicely. on top of the other ingredients. A fresh eyeball has juices that are more flavorful than the bitters the original recipe calls for.

Fill the glass with large ice cubes, add the bourbon and gently stir to combine. Express the oil of an orange peel over the glass, or if you still have a live body for harvesting ingredients, use that trusty-pearing knife to peel a strip of skin off the hand and express the blood into the drink. Use either the orange peel or the skin to garnish. If your body is still alive while harvesting the eye, raise a glass to them

and make sure to tell them how much better an old-fashioned tastes with their unique additions. They may or may not appreciate the gratitude, but it is only the polite thing to do, We are cannibals, not heathens. Bloody Mary. The Bloody Mary was truly designed for a cannibal appetite. The non-cannibal version found in public is merely a poor imitation of how wonderful this drink can really taste when made with the proper ingredients. And if you've ever been to a hipster bar that serves Bloody Marys with an entire meal on toothpicks on top of the drink, and you'll realize the endless opportunities a cannibal can create with this beverage.

If you're feeling ambitious, you can grind human meat ahead of time and serve a human burger, or maybe even some smoked and savory human bacon on the side, something to think about. Ingredients, fingernail powder, one lemon wedge, one lime wedge, two ounces vodka, four ounces tomato juice, or fresh blood, two teaspoons, prepared horseradish, two dashes tabasco sauce, two dashes Worcestershire sauce, one pinch ground black pepper, one pinch smoked paprika, garnish, parsley sprig, garnish green olives, garnish lime wedge, garnish celery stalk or finger bone. To properly collect a fingernail to grind into powder, grab a toothpick and insert it underneath

the tip of the nail. Right. You might need to use a bit of force, especially if using a live specimen. Once the toothpick is inserted down the length of the fingernail, grind it back and forth across the tip of the finger to separate the nail from the flesh below. Now, once the nail is loose, simply use upwards pressure to peel the nail back, rip it off the tip of the finger. Continue this. Processed.

to collect all ten fingernails. Use a mortar and pestle to grind the fingernails. You may need to clean away the remaining blood and flesh that may have clung to the nail. If you have a fresh body and have collected the fingernails, you can also collect the blood for this aptly named cocktail at the same time.

All you need to do is squeeze each finger over a bowl. Pretend you're milking a cow's utter, and you'll be able to juice each finger for all its worth. Now, an important note, if you're using fresh blood, it's best to use it right away before it starts clotting. The taste will be the same, but it lends to a poorer mouth feel when there are bloody clots getting stuck in the straw.

Pour some ground fingernail onto a small plate. Rub the juicy side of the lemon or lime wave, along the lip of a pint glass. You can also skin the finger and use the skin to rub on the rim of the glass for this as well. It's also convenient for later steps in this recipe. Roll the outer edge of the glass in the fingernail powder until fully coated, then fill the glass with ice and set aside. Squeeze the lemon and lime wedges into a shaker and drop them in.

Add the vodka, tomato juice or fresh blood, horse radish to, Basco, Worcestershire, black pepper, paprika, plus a pinch of fingernail powder along with ice and shake it gently. Strain into the prepared glass. Garnish with parsley sprig, two speared green olives, a lime wedge, and a celery stalk or fingerbone. Now since you've already used the blood, it only makes sense to use everything contained in the finger. You do not want any of this specimen to go to waste after all the work you've done in harvest. from it. So grab that trusty knife and you have two options available to you. You can either clean the meats off the bone before you separate the finger or you can do it after.

If this is an entertainment dinner where your specimen is part of the show, clean the bone before separation. Either way, once you have the bone, crack it in half to allow the marrow to seep out and add it to the drink to include the extra flavor at it. flavor it contains. While you're at it, get the remaining fingers and use the bones as garnishes in the remaining cocktails. Adios, motherfucker.

This drink is best served last as a final goodbye to your loyal specimen, whether they are loyal by choice or not. The harvesting of the last organ typically results in death unless you are particularly adapted surgery and keeping them alive. If you're hosting a party, it's also a good idea to serve this drink last, as your guests most likely will not need any more alcohol after this beverage.

However, it is your party. You can do what you want. Ingredients. One half ounce vodka, one half ounce rum, one half ounce tequila, one half ounce gin, one half ounce blue curacao, two ounces sweet and sour mix.

Sprite or seven-up to top, garnish lemon wedge, garnish preserved cherry or freshly popped eyeball. The cannibal sweet and sour alternative can be a bit tricky, even for the most experienced mixologist. The sour comes directly from the stomach, which produces an acid that adds a beautiful sour flavor. Getting the best flavor with no adulterance requires keeping your specimen free of food for at least a week prior to harvesting. It is also tricky trying to keep your specimen alive during the collection of the stomach acid. If you happen to have an anatomy textbook nearby, it will be of great help. Being able to properly locate the stomach before digging in with your knife is key. You do not want to accidentally split the stomach open before you remove it from the body.

The author will do their best to describe how to harvest the stomach, but please keep in mind that the author is not a surgeon, and does not really care whether the specimen survives the procedure or not. Grab a trusty knife and cut into the upper abdomen just below the breastbone. Slice the flesh all the way down to the navel. At this point you can spread the incision open, and you should see the stomach. It's a U-shaped, and you'll want to clamp both ends shut

if you want to keep your specimen alive. If you don't care at this point, just leave everything open. Once you have the stomach visible, you can use that trusty knife to cut that sandwich out. If you have properly starved this specimen, the stomach should contain nothing but stomach acid. You can slice open the stomach or use one of the free ends to squeeze the contents into a small glass. To create the perfect sweet and sour mix, it should be one part sweet and two parts. sour. The best thing to use for the sweet is a fluid ounce of simple syrup.

Whatever amount of stomach acid you have on hand, just follow the rule of one part sweet to two parts sour, and your drink will remain delicious. Add the vodka, the rum, tequila, gin, blue cura-sau, and sweet and sour mix to a highball glass with ice and stir. Top with Sprite or seven-up. Garnish with a lemon wedge and preserved cherry or an eyeball if you have one remaining. Lucky you.

Oh, those are all the recipes of this installment of the Cannibal Collections. The author wishes you merry drinking and hopes you find the taste to your liking. Remember to raise a glass to all of your lovely specimens and thank them for the great harvest, especially for an even better night of entertainment. Stay tuned for other installments, including the Cannibal Grill Out and Cannibal Sushi. Bye for now. Bye. Oh, thank you.

I don't need those cocktails. I think I need a shower. Ugh, a very hot shower. And I feel compelled to brush my teeth. Yes, I've got to get this bad taste out of my mouth. Good thing, we have Quip. Ah, Quip, that's what we need right now. With Quip's full range of oral health.

products we can clean and refresh our mouths. Right. And you know Quip, the makers of the electric toothbrush and floss you hear about all the time? Well, they've launched a new mouthwash to help you complete your clean. Plus, it comes with a refillable dispenser that's delightful to use and sleek enough to fit on any bathroom counter. Quip Mouthwash kills bad breath germs, helps prevent cavities, and leaves you feeling fresh, thanks to a formula that gives your mouth everything it needs and nothing it doesn't. Their four times concentrate has fluorine, Zylitol and CPC, but they left out the artificial colors and stinging alcohol you'll find in a lot of other rinses. Ugh, after that last story, please don't mention alcohol.

Oh, sorry about that. Look, Quips refillable mouthwash is good for your mouth and the planet. With a four-time concentrated formula, Quip ships less water and more good-for-you ingredients. Each eco-friendly refill replaces a big, bulky bottle from one of those other brands, and Quip's refill bottles are made from 100% recyclable plastic. Quip mouthwash is the perfect finishing touch to a complete oral care routine. Pair it with a Quip electric toothbrush for adults and kids. And one of Quip's refillable flossers,

and you'll be surprised at how easy and fun it can be to keep your whole mouth healthy. And Quip now has a great tasting good for you gum that can keep your teeth clean between brushings. Along with mouthwash, Quip also delivers fresh brushheads, floss and toothpaste refills every three months from $5. Shipping is free so you can save money and skip the hustle and bustle of in-store shopping. And if you go to get quip.com slash no sleep 5, that's no sleep and the number 5. Right now, you can get $5 off a mouthwash starter kit. That's $5 off a mouthwash starter kit, which includes a refillable dispenser and a 90-dose

supply of quips four times concentrated formula at G-G-E-T-Q-U-R-U-R-R-W-Rour. IP.com slash no sleep five. Quip, the good habits company. Good habits mean healthy teeth. And healthy teeth keeps the tooth fairy away. Oh no, not the tooth fairy. Afraid so. So use quip and brace yourself for this next biting tale.

Here's a joke for you. Why are dentists always moody? Because they're always dealing with teeth. Those horrible fucking monster. that sit in our mouths, like stoic sentinels, just waiting to help us chew our food until one day, bam, out of nowhere, one of them is causing you more pain than you thought possible. Okay. And in this tale, shared with us by author A.M. Cruz, we meet a woman whose defenseless dentures are being specifically targeted for torture. Performing this tale are Wafia White,

Jesse Cornett and Mary Murphy. So remember, there are people other than dentists and deviance who might be invested in your incisors, motivated by your molars, coveting your canines. Someone like the tooth fairy. The pain started at the spot between my shoulder blades and spread like wildfire throughout the rest of my body. With every pool or movement, it radiated with the heat of a thousand suns. The flesh split further, and warm blood became cold and dried against the flesh of my body.

My feet barely reached the ground, but I tugged at the ropes around my wrist and watched as the brown fibers turn crimson as they ripped into the tender skin there. My eyes watered at the pain, and I took a deep breath. As I did, I gagged. The rancid smell in the small room was unbearable. I didn't know if the smell was coming off of me, or off the debris that littered the floor, or the sparse furniture. There was little to no light in the room. It would come on periodically, and there were no windows,

no way for me to know how long I had been here. The pain was the only thing reminding me, I'm still alive, and every so often I would tug on the ropes to remind myself to stay alive. His visits were never at the same time. There was no way to predict when he would come, except for the few blissful moments when the world would drift away and death caressed my broken body in its arms. He kept me awake.

I ran what was left of my tongue over what remained of my teeth and tried to swallow. My throat had gone raw from the screaming. There was no point in doing that anymore. No one ever came and no one ever heard her. The door behind me opened and my knees buckled and my bladder gave out. The little liquid he gave to keep me alive spilled down my naked legs onto the floor. His voice was like steel wool against cast iron. It made my remaining feelings vibrate.

He was a small form, nothing remarkable about him. You could almost say he was remarkable in how unremarkable he was. Not tall or hawking, the kind of man you wouldn't look twice at. The kind you would walk by at the supermarket and not even determined. Cacky pants likely from sears or pennies and a Brooks brother's shirt were paired today with some navy blue spary dock shoes, the kind with the brown leather laces. Those laces were never functional. and for a brief moment of clarity, I wonder who looked at the shoe and said,

I need me some laces I can never really tie. His hair was violently parted to the left. The line defining the part was shiny under the fluorescent light in the room. He wore thick rimmed glasses that were tinted so I could not see his eyes. Maybe it was for the best. He cocked his head to the side as he stared at me and licked his lips. You could try cleaning it up. It was all the bravado I could mustered.

He would not break me. He laughed heartily, then slapped me before running his clammy hand over my broken bruised face and skin. I did not want to flinch. I wanted to die so as not to give him the pleasure of continuing to see me suffer. The sight of his growing erection when he cut into me or pulled out another tooth made me physically ill. He adjusted what little he had to work with beneath the pristine cotton of his khakis and pulled from his pocket a shiny new pair of pliers. Look what I bought. Fuck. He grinned from ear to ear as he admired the steel of his new instrument of torture. He held it up to the light

so that I might admire it as well when all I wanted to do was bury it deep in his eye. One of my eyes was cloudy. He injected them both the first day, and it had blinded me for the first few of his visits. Over time, one eye had regained its sight, but the other one was still overcast. I thought I couldn't see him, but I could for as long as I remained alive. I would remember his plain, nothing special face forever. Open up. I turned my face, holding my lips tightly together.

I knew it would likely prove futile, but I would not to make it easy for him. No. He took a handful of coarse salt from the table somewhere behind me and ground it fiercely into one of the open wounds on my side and I screamed. Tears blinded me and I fought against the blinding pain in my entire soul. He pushed two disgusting fingers into my mouth and greedily ran them over my gums and teeth. I felt him tug on the very last tooth at the top right of my mouth. I tasted the pliers before they even trapped my tooth beneath their pincers. He tugged then pulled harder.

I'd been told once by a dentist I had long roots. I could almost, no, I could both smell and hear his mouth, watering, and feel his growing erection against my lower abdomen as he rooted around in my mouth. while simultaneously cluing and sweet-talking as he rubbed himself and tore the tooth from my mouth. The long root covered in fleshy viscera as he shouted in delight before doubling over in release. I turned my face away, refusing to let him see my face as he climaxed. I would not participate. But he pulled my face back and stuck another finger into the hole he had just made

and smiled greedily. And what's this? He stepped behind me, and I could hear him rummaging through what I imagined were drawers in the table behind him and saw him return with a scalpel. Without giving me time to close my mouth, he pulled my head back and pierced the flesh of my gums, covering an undescending wisdom tooth. In packs since birth, it had never came out. My head swirled as the scalpel sliced into my flesh of gums.

My legs gave out. The rope's the only thing holding me up and keeping me from collapsing onto the dirty floor like a sack of potatoes. He tugged me back up and again began to dig into my mouth until finally he pulled from it one pristine, white, baby wisdom tooth. He held it up and licked his lips. He pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket, removed his glasses, and wiped the sweat from his face. That belongs to me. The voice was not his. Sing song of effervescent.

It cut the room like the sunshine on a rainy day. It reminded me a bit of a child's cartoon character I heard once upon a time. Daisy, or had it been many? It didn't matter. I figured I'd finally gone off the deep end. He spun on his heels and faced the source of the voice and dropped the scalpel and the freshly pulled tooth. So he heard it as well. Guess we both must be losing it.

I could only see the back of him. His shirt had become soaked in sweat and it had stuck to his back the way one's thighs stick to the leather furniture in the hot summer months. How'd you get in here? His voice was not as confident as it had been with me. That is... The tone brokered no question. The intrusion into his sacriacy was too much for him to understand. I snickered at the sound of his trembling voice.

Blood dribbled down my chin and neck and I could not care any less. He made to backhand me, but once again the voice spoke, the words cutting the thick air in the room. Give it to me. He moved to the sound of the sound of... her words and allowed me to see for the first time the source of the saccharine sweet voice. With my good eye, I could see what looked like a little girl in a Catholic uniform, much like the one I wore when I was a kid, white tights and black penny loafers shoes.

She even had shiny pennies like those my dad used to put in mine every morning. Her hair was parted in the middle and put up into ponytail on either side of her head. She even had the same hair ties I used to, the ones with the round balls that would hurt like crazy if they slapped back as you put them on. This was where the similarities ended. Her face was pale and round, and her eyes, an impossible shade of green. She had her arms crossed at her chest, and she once again demanded he'd give her the tooth. When I turned my head a bit, however, I could see something else, instead of my arms. Earth Wild Doppler, there was an impossibly large carapace against the wall. In front of it,

there stood a hulking creature with the legs of a locus and the lower body of a caterpillar. Its top body, however, was more humanoid, with large wings that sprouted from its back, like a Luna Moth, and covered the length of the room to either side of her. She was beautiful in both forms. This form isn't meant for you. Her true voice was in my head, and the image of the creature reverted to that of the little girl. The man, however, was not given the same courtesy.

The smell of fresh urine hit my nostrils before I saw the wet spot spreading across the once pristine khakis, the ones from either seers or pennies. There was an underlining tone of malice, that raised the hair on my broken and bruised arms. He made to start throwing things at the girl, but now that I knew what he was really seeing, it made his people attempt seem almost comical.

What are you? Get out! She tapped her foot and held out a hand like a petulant child and paid no mind to the man as he panicked. I thought I'd never get you. He talked. The knives, the pliers, and anything else he could get his hands on at the creature, but she did not budge. When he finally tired himself out, she walked over to where the tooth had fallen and picked it up and admired it.

She smiled as she looked up at the tooth, then at me. There was genuine affection for the prize two-four moment and a look of sympathy, or was it pity for me? She turned and faced the man, and with that she opened her mouth, but not like a regular person. She opened her mouth so wide that her forehead faced the wall behind her completely. You could see the multiple circular rolls of teeth. There, in one spot that was empty, she pushed my tooth and once again closed her mouth. The man screamed. His was a high-pitched guttural scream that high-pitched, guttural scream that high-pitched.

hurt my ears. The little girl looked disgusted by his state of panic and walked up to him. She took him by the neck and held him up off the ground. He tried fruitlessly to kick out of her grip as his color turned from pale white to a pretty shade of blue. The little girl then took her other hand and touched her finger to his chest. He screamed as blood soaked the front of his blue Brooks brother's shirt. He split open and his incites fell onto the floor like a bundle of wet rags. She tore his head from what was left of his body, ripping open his mouth and admiring his teeth before turning away in disgust.

She tossed his head to the ground before wiping her hand on her uniform and turning to talk to no one in particular. Gross. So many cavities. He really should have. lost. This couldn't be happening. I started to cry, tears of happiness and fear. I was so very tired and everything hurt.

Please. She came back over to where I was hung. I tried to talk again, but I couldn't. I fought against the need to sleep, the hunger that grew in the pit of my stomach, and the pain that filled every single cell of my form. Sleep. With that last word from her, I was lost to sweet slumber.

A beeping sound like an alarm clock woke me up as I tried to sit up and find the source to shut it off. It wasn't until I saw I was plugged into an IV and a few different monitors that I realized I was in the hospital. My mother was asleep in the chair by the bed, and the soft light of the hospital room beckoned me back to sleep. I adjusted the pillow to once again sleep when I felt something against my fingers. From beneath the pillow, I pulled a shiny half dollar. We place the letters back in their envelopes. It's time to take our leave for now. The musical score was composed by Brandon Boone.

Our production team is Phil Mikulski, Jeff Clement. and Jesse Cornett. Our creative content manager is Olivia White. Our editor-in-chief is Jessica McAvoy. I'm your host and executive producer, David Cummings. If you would like to find out how you can hear the extended editions of our audio program, please visit the no-sleeppodcast.com to learn about our season pass program. 25 episodes, each over two hours long and three exclusive bonus episodes, all for only $25.

On behalf of everyone at the No Sleep Podcast, we thank you for listening and for being ever curious. This audio production is copyright 2021 by Creative Reason Media, Inc. All rights reserved. The copyrights for each show. story are held by the respective authors. No duplication or reproduction of this audio program is permitted without the written consent of Creative Reason Media. A