The NoSleep Podcast - NoSleep Podcast - Sleepless Live in NYC

Episode Date: April 30, 2017

This special bonus episode features the performance of Sleepless Live at the Highline Ballroom in New York City on March 3, 2017."From a Watery Grave" written by Michael WhitehouseClick here to learn more about the voice actors on The NoSleep Podcast Executive Producer & Host: David CummingsMusical score composed by: Brandon BooneAudio adaptations produced by: Phil MichalskiSleepless Live illustration courtesy of Charlie CodyAudio program ©2016-2017 - Creative Reason Media Inc. - All Rights Reserved - No reproduction or use of this content is permitted without the express written consent of Creative Reason Media Inc. The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, welcome to the No Sleep Podcast. I'm your host, David Cummings. Thanks for joining us. Woo-hoo! Yeah, none of that was actually live. I just have that sound effect play whenever I enter my little recording closet here. It's good for my ego. But indeed, we do welcome you to this special episode of the podcast in which we share with you

the live show we performed on March 3, 2017, at the High Line Bowl. in New York City. We were joined by over 200 very enthusiastic fans who shared a great evening with us. On stage with me for the tour was our composer Brendan Boone providing live music, and the cast of Jessica McAvoy, David Alt, Nicole Goodnight, and Peter Lewis. As you'll hear, the live show consisted of a script we commissioned from our good friend Michael Whitehouse. Michael wrote three scripts for the tour, and on this night, we performed the one titled From a Watery Grave. After the main story, we concluded the show with each of us performing one of our short flash fiction tales from our suddenly shocking series of bonus episodes. And for the short story

segment, we were thrilled to welcome our special guest for the evening, Mike Delgado, who joined us with a short story of his own. Oh, and I should say for our fans in Boston, where we perverseal to the night before this NYC show. I poked some fun at your town and your beloved Tom Brady, mostly just to tease our resident Patriots fan, Mr. Dan Zapula. It's all in fun, so no letters or emails, please. We love Boston, and we know deep down people from Boston and New York love each other dearly. And just a quick technical note about this performance. It was recorded straight off the sound console, providing the live sound for the venue itself. Sometimes mixing sound for a venue is different from what you might do in a studio,

and therefore there were some spots where the music was a little loud in the mix, and that made the voices a little hard to hear. But luckily, we have our great producer Phil Mikalski around, who worked on the audio to make it sound as good as it possibly can. I think you'll find it's very easy to listen to, thanks to Phil's audio mastering. And so, it gives me great pleasure. to share with you a performance of sleepless live.

We take you now to the Highline Ballroom in Manhattan. Please take your seat as we start the show. Because tonight, New York City, brace yourself for sleepless live. New York City. This is awesome. This is such a great room, and it's even better. So full of all you beautiful people staring up on us. Thank you so much.

I'll tell you, this has been an amazing tour so far. It's great to be here. This is my first time in New York City. I bring you greetings from my hometown, the birthplace of the podcast, Toronto, Canada. Thank you for having us. And I'll tell you, we started. We did four dates in Texas. Then we went up to the Midwest, and last night we were in Boston.

It's been great there. and the folks in Boston wanted to have me convey some greetings to New York, but I probably shouldn't use that language. I don't know. All I heard there was Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady, so he cares. No, but this really is great. And, yeah, like I say, my first time here, we rolled in this afternoon, and it's just been amazing.

We've got this huge black van that we drive around in, driving through a Manhattan area. Everyone is so friendly. Everyone honks when they see us, saying hi, telling us we're number one. It's amazing. Very friendly New Yorkers.

I think we've finally recovered from that ordeal. So, yeah, you might be wondering what you're doing here tonight. What is a live podcast? Certainly what is a live, no sleep podcast. Well, we're not really trying to emulate the podcast tonight. We're trying to do something called sleepless live. And I don't know about you, but that looks amazing. Very cool. So basically what we're doing is we have a script written, especially for the tour by our great Scottish playwright

Michael Whitehouse. And that's going to be the bulk of the show. And it's going to be done in that sort of audio drama, radio drama format. And if any of you here are season past members, you might be familiar with our old time radio kind of series, and that's kind of what we're doing tonight. We've got the cast that you're used to hearing. We've got the music that you're used to hearing, but it's going to be done in that style. And then afterwards, if you'll have us, we'll do a few of our shorter flash fiction tales, some of our suddenly shocking stories. And we have a special guest tonight for you, so it's going to be a good time. And again, thanks for coming out. I know there was a bit of confusion about the showtime, but again,

you guys are all here and that is awesome. And so, as we begin, I'm not used to talking in silence and you're used to hearing me yapping with some music underneath me. And so I want to bring out our first character tonight. He joined the podcast in season three and when he started, he was this fresh-faced young musician who wanted to try his hand at composing and over the years he has grown and developed into a very gifted composer. He is the backbone of the sound of the show, and it's such a thrill to have him on tour with us. Would you please welcome from Cincinnati, Ohio, Mr. Brandon Boone.

What up, New York? Brandon, New York City. So friendly. I've heard that if we make it here... Beautiful, beautiful. So now, what is your history with this city, Brandon? you've been here before? I've been here one time for a concert at the Roseland Ballroom. Oh, and who did you see here? The Prodigy. The Prodigy. It was very fun.

My music ended about the Beatles. Are they before or after? Around the same time. They were known as like contemporaries. You contemporaries, of course, of course. Brandon, it is a thrill to have you here. I also, I always like to point out to folks that with Brandon, as you can see this, this man on stage, this, this must. This must. mighty man. We're never quite sure what it is that creates the music. It could be Brandon himself, but we are convinced that there is this

sentient life form on his head that we call the swoosh. That swoosh of hair that we're sure that's where the music comes from and it just uses Brandon as the instrument, as it were. I sustain it and it sustains me. Indeed it does.

So Brandon, it's great to have you. Great to have you. You've seen by everybody. I'll just stay up here and this will be... No, go away. Go all the way back there. At one of our earlier gigs, when we were setting up, one of the sound guys said, So what is your DJ need? And for the first time, Brandon is not sitting down at a nice table.

He's at a DJ table, so he's going to be spinning it tonight. You're so white, Brandon. And now the cast. This first young woman joined us also in season three, late in season three. And she, too, was just this kid. who wanted to try her hand at narration and voice acting. And she has, over the years, become one of our foundational voices, our stalwart. Whenever we have a story that runs 10,000 words,

featuring a female protagonist who usually ends up being tormented and suffering and dying, I turn to her because I love her so. You might think of her name if you hear a story that takes place in the woods that involves whistling being stranded on a frozen Lake Michigan stories like that it is such a thrill that she's with us on the tour like I say she is one of the best would you please welcome living at the base of a large cactus just outside of Phoenix Arizona would you please welcome miss Jessica McAvoy hello New York Jessica again we are in New York City how do you feel I feel

Great, David. Feel great. We always tease Jessica because, of course, she's from Arizona. She's not used to the cold and the strong winds or grass, you know, anything other than dirt and sand and heat. Have you ever ventured to this part of the world? Have you been to New York City before? Never been to anywhere in New York before, so first time for everything. All right.

Despite what we saw in traffic today, there are very welcoming people. Brandon was like five minutes from murdering someone, I kid you not. He was about to, the swoosh pulled him out of the van, and it was a whole mess. So, Jessica, you're ready? So ready. So ready. All right. Well, standing beside you tonight will be a gentleman who has traveled the farthest to be with us tonight.

This man is extremely gifted. He is, well, he's an astrophysicist, believe it or not. He is a cellist. He is a stage act. He is a voice actor, and he's actually a really nice guy. Would you please welcome from Rippin, Yorkshire, England, Mr. David Altz. Good evening, New York. How are you all doing?

David, thank you for greeting them like that. I think your normal greeting of howdy y'all. Wouldn't have worked here in New York. Don't they realize I'm Texan? I think they've been fooled, yes. Excellent. Good. And David, he's been regaling us.

Every town, every city we've played at, David has a history there. He's toured this country left and right. Have you been to New York City before? I have been to New York City. I've been here twice. The first time I came, I did summer camp, and I was a counselor at summer camp. And I flew out of New York City, having traveled all across the states again. I flew out on the 4th of September 2001.

So I was very lucky that my sister was getting married like nine days afterwards. Otherwise, I might have stayed a little bit longer. The second time I came through was a lot happier though I was traveling through. I went to and I didn't realize these things existed, but somewhere in New York there is a tequila library where you go in. It's this basement place and all along the walls there were just these bottles of tequila. It was the most amazing experience. I don't remember much of it.

I will quite put my hands up there, but yes, that is my history in New York City. Wonderful. Full of booze and debauchery, basically. Of course, yes. Why would it be otherwise? Thank you.

Well, even though we are in New York City, we are, of course, in New York State, and our next character is from New York State, currently living here. When she joined the podcast, her wide range of voice acting made me use her in a very special way. You see, she's very gifted at playing young girls.

If we ever have a story where there's this young girl being tormented by ghosts or demons, I would turn to her because she does that so well. But as she has grown, her voice acting has grown, she recently did a story, you may recall, and let me just ask you this. By a little show of applause, how many people here tonight are season past members? Thank you very much. a very appallingly small number of applause. No, of course, we do thank you for that. But if you're a season past eight member, we did a story this season called In My Line of Work,

where she played a woman who, let's just say, she sells sexual favors. And there's a line in that that she uses, which has kind of become her motto. And it's the line, Boner-D-throwner. And so I think she's planning on having that etched on her tombstone. Would you please welcome from Rochester, New York, the beautiful blue-haired, Nicole Goodnight.

Hi, New York. Nicole. Oh, David. Boner-Dithrowner. I eat you in that story, so I don't want to hear it. Yes, that's right. I met my demise, thanks to you. Now, you are, of course, from the East Coast.

You've spent many, many years traveling around. What is your history in New York City? I have been to New York City twice. The first time I was in high school, I sang at the Lincoln Center. She sang. I sang. And the second time, it was just with a friend to kind of explore around. Go to the Nintendo store.

Right. Yeah. So you know the city like the back of your hand? No. Not even a little. Well, we are all here, and we are all ready. And I think it's time to set off on our first story. No, no, no, don't say the name.

Hey! Don't say the name. Oh, that's right. Do not be a boned or dethrone. Don't do it. There is one other cast members. Let's just not. He's a gentleman with a very distinctive voice.

He has a gentleman. a very distinctive style. He plays very distinctive characters. He has a bit of a reputation amongst the fans, amongst the listeners. And I think if you know this man, you probably know one of his more

infamous stories. I believe it was called the mummer man. Dost thou seek? The mummer man? Larking in the gimcrime. land. What a gauk, that son of Pan. Let's haul him forth, hmm? Let's drag him down. Let's speak together a timbreous clan, calling forth the mummer man. Let's say together that back and all, hoi, hoi, two, three, round and round. All fingers now. upon the planch it speak again

in voices dulcet mama man we call you lad come play with us and make us glad from Denver

Colorado Mr. Peter Lewis evening New York City you're all looking tremendously well Peter you always clear the stage for some reason Yes, and a theater too, soon enough.

I mean, yes. Hello. Well, I wonder if these frightened people will come back. We've grown to know and love Peter on this tour. Peter, what is your history with the city of New York? Do you have one? I do. I've been here twice, I believe, escaping various legal complications.

Which follow you everywhere, it seems. Yes. And I've loved it. I've loved it so much. Excellent. While you're ready, I know that. We're ready. So I think it's time to actually delve into our story tonight.

This is a story that takes place on a ship. The sea, nautical themes, ocean-going vessels have a long history and horror. ships which have a dark past, ships which are mysterious and evoke in us a desire to know what has happened on those ships. That is where we're taking you tonight. We're joining an expedition on a ship called the Starling. And the people on this ship are there because of strange events which have happened on this ship. and they want to find out why. And so please join us on this expedition

as we perform for you, Michael Whitehouse's, from a watery grave. All right, all right, settle down, everyone. All of your questions will be answered in a moment. You lot in the back there, quiet! Tonight's briefing is to inform you all of why you're here and what can be expected of you. When I say that what will be discussed here tonight is out of the ordinary, you will most certainly agree.

But nonetheless, we are a professional crew, and we must follow these instructions to the letter. For those of you who have just joined us at port, we, the crew of the Starling, welcome you. My name is Captain Leonard, and I am in command of the Starling for the duration of this expedition. With me here tonight to help brief you all is Dominic Jackson, whom I'm sure needs no introduction as one of the world's most famous explorers. Alongside him, we have Tonya Price, a reporter with the telegraph, and Dr. Susan Weaver, who is heading up the scientific portion of our mission. Yes, and last but not least, we are honored to have with us, Mr. Marshall Eldray.

who as the sole heir to the Eldrake estate owns this ship and has funded this entire venture. Now you're going to hear some strange things tonight, and for those of you who have just joined us and joined the crew from Port Torsion, I ask that you perform your duties to the best of your abilities, regardless of your beliefs about what you're about to hear. I run a tight ship, but at least it, You'll only have to tolerate that for two nights. Now, I'll hand it over to Mr. Jackson.

Thank you very much, Captain Leonard. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. And as the very stern, Captain Leonard has said, I am Dominic Jackson, famed explorer, adventurer, and womanizer, if you believe, the popular press, right, Tanya? I just report the news, Dominic. I don't make it. Well, we have charted a course from the port of Torsion in the Faroe Islands to just southwest of Iceland.

Now, I don't need to tell anyone here that these waters are cold and treacherous, especially at this time of year, and that will be hundreds of miles from land, so safety is a must during our little adventure, even if that bit is so dull. So let me spruce things up a little bit by asking you all a little question. How many of you believe in ghosts? Cheers, is this the normal thing on your chip, Captain? It certainly sounded like there was a lot of skeptics out there, a lot of silence. Yes, well, I'm one of them. Well, absolutely, and so am I.

But the thing is, I find myself bored of the usual expeditions. I've been up the Amazon River, I've climbed Everest, I've marched across Sahara and Siberia, I've even made it to the South Pole. I've done it all. The world holds few mysteries for me now. Except for the old stories, the tales people have always told about spirits, the dead coming back from beyond the grave. Now, while I've dismissed all of these as superstitious nonsense, I want to be sure for myself. But I need to maximize my chances of action.

seeing something supernatural, an event which could be said to be reliable. I didn't find such an occurrence until I read the history of this ship that we now sail on, the Starling. It fascinates me, and with Mr. Eldrake's approval and his not insubstantial financial backing, we are going to see if there really is anything strange on this boat after all. And that is why we are all here to look for ghosts. But let me leave all of the paranormal stuff to Dr. Weaver, who will be able to explain it much better than I with. Thank you, Dominic. My name is Dr. Susan Weaver, and I'm a traveling professor currently heading a research group at Edinburgh University called the Kessler Unit. Perhaps you've heard of it? No. All right. Well,

Well, it is one of the last scientific laboratories in the world, which investigates the paranormal. Once Dominic alerted me to the history of the Starling, well, I simply had to come here to document it for myself. And you, the crew of the Starling, are going to help me. Now, each of you has been provided with a small pocket notepad. I want you to write down any experiences you might have, whether you see, hear, smell, or feel something unusual. and make sure you mark down the time. This will help me collate all of the data for a paper I'm writing

about this very research expedition. It is extremely important that each of you do this. I cannot stress that enough. A ship of this size, 500 feet long, I believe, has many cabins and hallways. It would be a hopeless task

to set up surveillance equipment everywhere and so resorting to good old pen and paper is a must. If anyone has any issues with this, please do. know. We'll arrive at our destination southwest of Iceland during the night or by the early hours of the morning at the latest. Now, this is when we hope the paranormal phenomena will show itself. To tell you more about why we believe this is the case, I'll turn you over to Mr. Eldrake,

the owner of the Starling and the financier of this expedition. Thank you, Dr. Weaver. Now, I'm as puzzled by all of this as any of you, but when Dominic here contacted me, I had my own reasons for funding this trip. Before I get into that, though, let me fill you in on a little family history, or rather the history of this ship, the Starling. She was built in 1946 just after the war. A luxury ship won my grandfather, Harold El Drake, believed he could use two wine and dine business owners and potential investors,

even heads of state on a few occasions. No expense was spared. There are swimming pools, ballrooms, libraries, dining rooms, a couple of bars. The Starling was an incredible ship in her day, but she has sadly fallen into disrepair of late. She had sailed once to the Mediterranean, then another time to the Caribbean in her first year. The Starling's captain at the time, a captain Calderwood, indicated in his log books and diaries that nothing untoward had occurred on those. early voyages. No, it was the third journey where the trouble started. March 2nd, 1947, while en route to Iceland, a ship's lookout spotted something on the horizon in the night.

It looked like a glowing flame. Captain Calderwood sent out a radio signal to try and make contact, but he heard nothing in reply. Convinced that it was a ship on fire, he ordered that the starling should set course for it to see if there were any survivors. As they drew closer to the light, though, it suddenly went out, like the fire had been extinguished. Using binoculars, the captain could now see that it was indeed a ship illuminated by the moonlight, but she seemed to be unharmed. When they drew up alongside her, they didn't see any evidence of a fire or any evidence of life. They saw nothing.

The ship, a 100-foot fishing vessel, had no name on her hull. It had been wiped away, either by the sea, the wind, or, well, something else. Captain Calderwood ordered that she should be boarded, and his crew followed his orders to the letter. Now, you're all experienced sailors, and I'm sure you've heard these sorts of stories before, like the Mary Celeste and others. Like those stories, they found no one aboard this fishing vessel, a ship which should have had 20 crew at least. In the kitchen, a meal had been set, and it was still warm. Mugs of coffee sat waiting for a crew who would never return. Justice Calderwood prepared to leave the ship and tow it to the nearest port.

He heard a scream from below decks. They rushed down to the engine room and found one of their own crew members shaking. with fright. He had been searching for survivors, as per Calderwood's orders, but just as he had concluded that the engine room was empty, he heard something over his shoulder, moving, sort of shuffling around. He turned and saw it only for a moment. When he came to his senses, he could only describe it as a thing with pale white arms outstretched and lidless eyes. staring out at him, and then it was gone. But then another shout went up.

A fire had broken out on the ship. No one knew how it had started, but they quickly evacuated the derelict, coughing from the black smoke as they did so, running back onto the starling. The fire spread quickly, and soon the fishing boat was consumed by it. As the starling pulled away to safety,

Calderwood noted a strange event. He described it as a piece of flame, which seemed to blow across from the derelict and came to rest on the Starling's port side. It left a large blackened mark where it burned out. But what puzzled the captain the most was that there was no wind that night to blow the fire from one ship to the other, and he observed that, indeed, something else had carried it across. The derelict ship sank to the bottom of the ocean, and despite efforts, she was never identified. From that night onward, the starling has had a reputation as a haunted vessel. Captain Calderwood sailed on the starling for ten more years,

and in that time, his crew and several passengers claimed to have seen a shadowy figure wandering the decks of the ship, Its skin, a pale, languid color, as if the figure had been left to rot at the bottom of the sea. Harold Eltrake, my grandfather, refused to believe the stories, though in private he admitted to having a horrid sense of unease while on board at times. Captain Calderwood similarly refused to believe the sightings. That was, until a few days before the tenth anniversary of encountering. that derelict ship. It was a moonlit night

as the starling sailed off the east coast of Spain. Captain Calderwood noted in his journal that he had gone up on deck to smoke his pipe and enjoy the unusually calm night. But as he was filling his pipe with tobacco, he happened to look down at the water.

And there it was. A shape clinging to the side of the ship, staring up at him. Calderwood was shocked. at what he saw, but before he could call one of the crew to verify what he was seen, the shape moved to a porthole on pale white hands, and as Calderwood put it in his report,

the figure then seeped in between the bolts around the porthole, like a toxic gas, and was gone. Three days later, ten years to the day since the Starling encountered the derelict off the south of Iceland, and all radio contact with the ship was lost. The starling was eventually found, but the crew and Captain Calderwood were not. The last entry in the captain's diary simply read, God help us.

Now, my grandfather was the only surviving person found on the ship. He had hidden himself inside of a vent. Suffering severe dehydration, it took him months to recuperate, and he claimed to have no memory of what it happened, other than hearing the screams from the crew members one by one as they met their fate. Are you okay, Marshall?

I can tell the rest if it would be easier for you. Yes, I think you'd better. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm Tanya Price, a reporter with the telegraph. It's my job to get the news out about this expedition, whether it fails or succeeds. I haven't figured out yet if that's good or bad luck on my part.

I'm sure the rest of today and tomorrow, we'll tell that. In any case, Marshall has a deeper connection to this mission than simply owning the boat. His grandfather, Harold L. Drake, had the Starling moored at a private dock. The only people who entered the ship for the next 10 years were workers who maintained her. We then come to 1967, 20 years since the Starling encountered the derelict near Iceland. and on that anniversary, one of the dock workers entered the ship and was never seen or heard from again. After that, the Starling was left there for decades. No one was to board her, and so over time she rested up.

It wasn't until Harold Eldrake passed away that his son decided to restore the ship, take it as his own private luxury cruiser. He ignored the warnings, and that seems to have been his undoing. While on board the Starling in 1987, 40 years into the day since the same, the trouble started, all crew and passengers were lost. The only survivor was a baby hidden in the closet. His name was Marshall Eldrake, so you'll understand then why Marshall here has funded this expedition.

He wants to know what happened to his mother and his father. So there you have it. It's up to you if you believe it or not. Now, I don't know if there is something haunting the cabins of the Starling, but I intend to find out. And to increase our chances, we are heading straight for the location of that very first encounter, where the derelict ship was found. In just a few hours, we will reach our destination during the night of the 2nd of March 2017, 70 years to the day since the Starling had that first encounter. So, anyone want to turn back?

It's just the Starling or one of her lightboats for the next two nights. And that's the end of tonight's briefing. Dismissed. Please remember to record anything you experience for the experiment. They're not listening to me, are they? I'm kind of hoping they don't see a thing, Doc. Not after going over the history of this old ship again. If these things do exist, Tanya, there's nothing to be afraid of. They can't harm you.

I hope you're right. Oh, don't tell me you're getting spooked already, Tanya. I'm still not talking to you, Dominic. Trouble Dominic here called in a favor at the paper I work at He made sure they assigned me To this gig

If you'll excuse me everyone I have some business to attend to Please I'd be delighted If you would join me for a meal in my cabin It's 8 p.m. Thank you, Captain I'll be there Well, I'll see you all in a little while then

Good night I think I'll catch up on some reading While we wait for nightfall I'll see you all at dinner. See you, Doc. Now, Tanya, you're not really that mad, are you? After all, you're the only reporter I almost trust. I take it you two have met before.

Met? You could say that. We were a couple of years back until Dominic here disappears off to Chyne on Expedition, and I have no idea he got back because he doesn't call me when he does. Oh, look, I said I was sorry, Tanya. Yeah, I said I was an asshole, but please, we've got a job to do here, and I think we should focus on that. Oh, I am focused all right, but should your asshole personality come to the fore? Don't be surprised when I make it my headline. Look, I'm going to go and unpack. I will see you both later.

Sorry, I didn't mean to pry there. It's not your fault, Marshall. Thank you again for taking over for me during the briefing. It's really not a story I like to tell. It must have been awful being orphaned like that. and not knowing what happened? Yeah. It eats away at you, I guess.

I didn't even realize how much I wanted to know until Dominic here contacted me. He seems a strange one. Dominic, he's not all that bad. He just thinks too highly of himself. That's all the world ends and begins with his adventures in his mind. I think he believes that deep down, when he goes off on an expedition, the world is just waiting with bated breath for his return.

when honestly, he's very quickly forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. Something like that. And, uh, hey, listen, thanks for taking me out last night. I had a great time. So did I. I don't suppose you'd care for a third date. I think I could be persuaded, but, um,

you are going to be okay, aren't you? Yeah, I'm just nervous. I mean, something terrible has happened on this show. every ten years. I can't stop thinking about my parents. It could all just be a coincidence, just bad luck every decade. For everyone else's sake, I do hope it is.

Yeah, but what about yours? I just want to know what happened to my mom and dad. That was a lovely meal, Captain. Oh, don't thank me, Dr. Weaver. Thank Mr. Eldrake. He hired the cook. Oh, it's my pleasure. I do appreciate everyone joining the crew

on such short notice, especially to crew a ship this old and in need of maintenance. Did you not patch her up? Oh, yes, yes, we did. Long enough to keep her going for this voyage, but she'll need a complete refit if she's to take to the ocean permanently again. Where's Dominic gotten to? He said he was only stepping out for a few minutes.

Aha, the first disappearance, perhaps. Yeah, for lucky. Well, Tanya, you only have to suffer the man for tonight and tomorrow. Hey, what's the big deal with that knife He's always carrying around on his belt? Does he really think he's that big of a hunter? I wouldn't mention that to him if I were you. A friend of his died when they were exploring an underwater cave together.

He left Dominic that knife in his will. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be sure to stay away from the topic. So he's the real deal then. Dominic is and isn't a lot of things, but one thing I'll at least give him when it comes to exploring, he's seen it all. How can a guy compete?

I don't know. Avoid being anything like Dominic, and you'll do just fine by me. So, Captain Leonard, how goes the journey? Fine, fine, yes, just... The waters are usually quite difficult in this location, but they're unusually quiet at the moment. That's interesting. What is? The water's being calmer than usual.

Looking through the records of each disappearance, Whenever strange things began to occur on the Starlink, they were always preceded by calm weather. Well, there's nothing supernatural about that, Dr. Reaver. We're just lucky it isn't rougher. I have returned. Yay. Where were you? Oh, I met a rather delightful member of your crew, Captain Leonard, and I shared a glass or four of rum with. Well, no one should be drinking.

Who was she? Oh, s's... My lips are sealed. Sealed. I'm just afraid that I do need a sniff or two or five in the evening. Something strong. It helps me think straight. Oh, I doubt that, Dominic.

Alcohol slows you down. Ah, then I'm the exception that proves the rule, Charles. Tonya, do you remember when we went to Italy? And we got that huge plate of spaghetti and we did the lady and the tramp thing with it and then there's a meatball. It just rolled off into your lap. I am not here to reminisce, tramp.

I'm here to report what happens and nothing more. What time you will reach our destination, Captain, the spot where Calderwood and his crew found the derelict ship? Well, all things being equal, About five in the morning. All right, then I will meet you all at the bridge at quarter to five. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll return to my cabin and get some sleep. Good night.

Good night, my lady. Hey, lay off, Tanya, would you, Dominic? Oh, all right, beardy, beardy, mcbairdy. I didn't mean any harm by it. I think it's a good idea for all of us to retire for the evening and get some sleep. Yes, I agree. I've left a night crew to watch over the bridge, so we'll see you all early in the morning. Good night, everyone. Good night.

Good night, Mr. Eldrake. I hope tomorrow brings some answers for you. So do I, Captain Leonard. So do I. What time? 3 a.m. What was that? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Brett, Tanya, this is what you're here for. I'm out, I'm coming out. You're sitting fuck! The God! Oh, you scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here in the middle of the night? We're not doing to meet on the bridge for a couple... Put that knife away!

Sorry, sorry, okay, I heard something outside my cabin. I followed the noise along here, and then you open the door. Are you shitting me? No! You didn't think you could come to my cabin for a little late-night booty call, did you? Oh, Tanya. I swear to you, you are not that irresistible. Although we are both awake now.

You're such a creep. I was joking. It was a joke, all right? Oh, look. Are you okay? You look terrible. Oh, thanks. No, I'm not all right.

Whatever it was out here, it sounded horrible. Are you sure you didn't see anything? No, I didn't see anything, but I heard it all right. It sounded like something shuffling along against the walls. Okay, well, you check the next cabin, and I'll get drunk. dressed. Well, I really think I should stay with you. You check the next cabin while I'm getting changed. All right. There's nothing in here.

Tanya, can you hear me? Let's just go get the dock. She's not far from here and she'll want to know about this. You think she'll actually know what that thing was? I'm not sure, but she's got previous experience, I think, of this sort of thing. Well, with your previous experience, what do you think? Left, right, or straight on? Well, Explorer, I think it's left. So, how are things at The Telegraph? Are you enjoying it? Oh, well, not right now. I'm not. I'm stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean with my ex-boyfriend with God knows what walking around.

Look, I'm sorry. Really? You are the only reporter I know who'll give this thing a fair shake. And besides, it's let you get to know Marshall over the last couple of days. I'm not talking about that. Dominic, it's just around here. Shh, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is now? I heard something around that corner. Listen. It sounds like it's coming this way.

What should we do? You're the intrepid explorer. Go explore before it discovers us. All right. I'll peek around the corner. Quickly, it's getting close. Okay. Who goes there?

I can see you around the corner. Dr. Weaver. Don't worry. It's just me and Tanya. Was it you walking around the corridors earlier? So, you heard it too. No, I just got dressed because I thought I heard something. I wanted to take a closer look.

Was it like a shuffling against the walls, like someone was pulling themselves by their hands? Sort of, but there was a definite vocal quality, like a groan of some kind. Yeah, I heard that as well. What is it? Who knows? We can't rule out the possibility that... That came from the next deck. The stairs are over there. Come on! Okay. That came from somewhere else. Oh God, it's starting. We don't know that. It is. Just like Marshall's

grandfather said he heard the screams of the crew and then they were gone. That one came from just behind this door. Hello! Can you hear me? Hello? He stopped screaming. The door's locked. We'll kick it in. The cabin's empty. Well it can't be. We heard it. That scream came from inside. Look, it's one of your notebooks. Talked. Does it say anything? Leave the reading to the library. That came from the next cabin. Let's check. The door's unlocked. It's empty, just like the last. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening, Dr. Weaver?

I don't know, Tanya. But I think we've swapped a scientific experiment for a different kind of expedition. And what's that? Survival. We have to turn this ship around. I fear the closer we get to our destination, the more jeopardy will be in. I agree. I suddenly feel like I've lost my stomach for adventure.

We've got to find the captain. Well, here we are. The captain's quarters. Should we place bets on whether we find an empty room or not? Dominic. Yeah. You have experience with boats, don't you? Yes.

So if the captain's gone, could you set a course for the nearest land? I suppose technically, kind of, but it's not that simple. It's a ship, this size, this age of much. I came from inside the captain's corners. Something's coming out. Oh, thank God it's you lot. Captain Leonard, your head's bleeding. I'm okay, Tonya.

Thank you. Have you found any other survivors? Survivors. Sounds like you think we crashed. No, it's much. Much worse than that. I... I couldn't sleep, so I went up top. Everything seemed to be in order, except...

Except what, Captain? When I came back down below decks to go to my cabin, I felt something, a coldness being watched. Then I heard a scream from one of the crew. It came from a cabin. I broke the lock on the door and made my way inside. That's when I saw it. So what? The figure, the other crews reported?

No, I don't know. I saw it just for a second, a dark shape moving from the bed to the wall. And out of the black mass, I saw a pair of pale hands lurching towards me. I fell back and smashed my head against the wall of the corridor. I got to my feet, and it was gone. Then I heard screams everywhere only to find room after room empty. I couldn't help them, my crew. So I barricaded myself in my cabin and waited for it to come from me. It feels like the ship's changing direction.

I would expect that to happen if the bridge crew have been taken too. No, no, it's worse than that, doctor. What do you mean? Well, the ship has just changed course. That can only mean one of the ship. Something. Someone or something is at the wheel. We need to get up there.

Well, stay close. I'll show you the way. It's not far. Doctor, do you have any idea what this thing is? Well, if what you and the previous witness recorded is true, it appears to be

a ghost. A spirit of the dead? Who knows? It could be something else entirely that we don't even have the capacity to understand. But I saw its hands come from the darkness. They looked bloated, white, and green. But the skin looked like it was beginning to rot.

I could see the blue veins under the skin. Doesn't that sound like something human? Maybe it was at one point. You know, for an expert, you don't seem to be pretty sure, Doc. Well, I've never encountered anything like this before. Well, then what have you encountered? Uh, well, once I saw a cooking pot fly across the room on its own. That's it. That's your experience with ghosts.

My dear Captain Leonard, if proving the existence of the paranormal were so easy, countless others before us would have done just that many times over. But here we are, perhaps with an opportunity to definitively prove such a thing. Although from what you describe, I'm not sure. I fancy getting up close and personal with it. I thought you said these things couldn't hurt us, Doc. Well, it seems I've been proven wrong, doesn't it? Great.

So there's nothing you can tell us, then? There's plenty, I can tell you, but from the experience of other people, not from my own experience. For the most part, these things usually end up being hoaxes. Shit, did you see that? I saw it. The plate was floating for a second in mid-air

when we came around the corner. Yeah, then it just... Dropped by that door. What's in there? One of the kitchens. The door is open. We could take a look. No, thank you.

Is there another way to the bridge? I don't fancy walking past that doorway with whatever it is in there, ready to come out and meet us. I fear things are escalating, Captain. Speed is of the essence. Okay, okay. On the count of three, everyone run past the door.

That stairway at the end of the corridor leads up to the bridge. Alright, one, two, three, go. Sawhood, it's in there. Keep running. I seek. Up the stairs. There's a door up here. Come on, come on.

I can't find my key. Oh, thank you. It's coming. Get in, quick. Marshall, you're alive. Thank you, Mr. Eldrick. I don't know what we would do. Shh, listen.

A dog. Can it get in here? I don't know. No, no, right now, I can't. How do you know, Marshal? Just listen. We're safe for now. Captain, I'm afraid in a panic.

I changed course. I'm not sure if I'm heading to land or not, but I certainly don't want us to return to where that thing came from. We finally got it out of its hiding place, and that's all that matters. All right, I'll set course for land. Veston Meyer is the nearest board.

How long until we get there? Well, it'll be about six hours. With that thing on board? What about the lightboats? I'd rather take my chances out at sea. No, I can't go until I've seen it. But trust me, Mr. Eldrake, you don't want to look upon that thing. I wish I could unsee it, but its fingers and hands are etched in my mind.

No, I need to see it. That thing took my parents. I have to see it. Marshall, calm down. You don't understand, Tanya. Mr. El Drake, I appreciate your feelings on the matter, but as captain, I'm ordering us off. Oh, you can't do that. I own this ship. That may be, but while at sea, the lives of all the crew and passengers are my responsibility, Mr. Eldrake, and that includes you.

Then you're fired. No, it doesn't work like that, Mr. Eldrake. I'm the captain from port to port. You can relieve me when we make landfall, but not before. We're going into that lifeboat, even if I have to drag you there myself. How dare you speak to me like that. Marshall, he's right. We need to get off this, darling. No, not until I have seen it.

Not until it's seen me. And what good will that do so you look at it and then it takes you? What good does that do anyone? You can't understand. My parents were taken. I want payback. Marshall, if I may interject, what sort of payback do you think?

you can possibly get against an incorporeal apparition which can go anywhere it wants to on the ship. Well, not anywhere. It didn't get in here. Yes, Marshal, you seem to know that it wouldn't be able to break into the bridge. How could you possibly know that? I just do. But you've never seen it before. And none of the accounts you provided suggest that the ghost is limited in this way. You just have to trust me, okay?

Marshal, please, don't tell me. What is it, Tanya? Don't look at me like that, Tanya. We're not the first crew, are we? I... Why are you all looking at me like that? You've brought people onto this ship before, haven't you? I saw no record of this in the files you provided, Marshal.

Is this true? It... Yes, okay? It's true. I'm sorry. What a load of sodding bullocks! I wanted to be the first to come out here on the Starling. For once in your life, Dominic, stop thinking about your ego and focus on what's going on around you.

Hey, we need to move soon. And why is that? Marshal, please. Tell us what happened. There's not much to tell. Ten years ago, I sent a small crew out here to this position. Five experienced sailors who worked for my company before. I kept everything off the books and ensured that no one knew of the mission except for a select few.

I didn't go with them that time. I was too afraid. But we found the Starling four days later drifting a hundred miles from here. I was on the rescue ship myself. Believe me, Tanya, I felt so guilty that I'd sent those people to their deaths. When we came on board, we didn't find anyone. And why haven't we heard about this? Because when I say we didn't find anyone, that's not entirely accurate.

one of those five crew members had crawled inside an oven to hide and someone must have turned it on and locked it so that she couldn't escape. We found the woman's body charred inside. It's awful. Yes, it was. But more than that, we didn't just have a disappearance. We had a dead body on our hands. I had to make a decision. Seeing as we kept it classified, I just concocted a fake story and my comment.

Company covered it up. So you endangered all the lives of our crew this time around, knowing full well what we were up against? No, I thought that with a bigger crew and a few experts, we'd be safe, that with so many of us on board, the ghost couldn't possibly take us all. And besides, this time was different. I was coming to... To do what, Marshall?

To face it, I guess, to show it that I wasn't afraid, and to kill it. How were you planning on doing that? With this, a gun. How the hell did you get that on board? Money buys you a lot of things, Captain. Boats, planes, influence with the customs guys at the port? Yeah, well, I wish you'd smuggled through a sodding flamethrower. Look, even if you got off a shot, you really think this thing can be harmed?

Actually, Dr. Weaver, I've got a better question. How do you kill something that's already... dead. Listen, the crew I sent before, they made some observations about the ghosts or recorded them before they were taken. They can't manifest for very long at one time. That's why I knew, or at least suspected that it wouldn't get through that door. From all of the whaling we heard, it had to have already been in physical form for several minutes, and it must have run out of energy and dissipated before it could get through to us. That's all very well, but it still doesn't explain why you think that you can kill it.

I think that this ghost, or whatever the hell it is, just has to take physical form to take people away, but it needs a massive amount of energy to do so. I see, yes, so the ghost sort of charges up every ten years, and then takes physical form? Exactly. And only then can it hurt people, but I think it can be hurt. Well, none of this changes the fact that we're leaving,

this ship. I'm sending out an SOS, then we're hitting the lifeboats. Stay away from that console, Captain. Marshal, no. What are you going to do? Shoot me. I don't want to. You're a good man, but I will if you step any closer to that radio. Keep your hand off that knife, Dominic. Marshal, why are you doing this? Don't any of you understand? There is something wrong on this ship, something truly evil. It came from God knows where, and maybe it started on that derelict, but I reckon that this thing has been hopping

from boat to boat for a very long time, feeding on people, taking their energy so that it can get stronger. I won't risk any more lives than I already have. For all we know, this thing has bled this ship dry and is getting ready to move on to the next, then another and another. And when will it be enough?

My parents weren't enough. Who's weren't enough! You think that this is just gonna stop tonight? Well, why not then? Jump in a light boat and burn this, darling. Let us sink to the bottom of the ocean. We don't even know if that we'll get rid of it. Maybe it can continue to exist in the depths of the sea,

just waiting for the next ship to pass, and then this whole thing starts over again. Or worse, perhaps it finally decides to come ashore. Oh, I've had enough of this. We're calling in an SOS and getting out of here. Idiot Marshall! You've destroyed the radio! I'm sorry, Captain, but we are not leaving this ship

until I know that that thing's been dealt with. But we have better move. It'll be here soon. And I don't plan on facing it here on the bridge where it can so easily escape through all these windows and doors. Then where? Think about the first place the ghost was ever cited. The lights!

Alright, nobody panic. Nobody panic. The emergency lighting. should come on in a moment. No. Those lights aren't coming back on, Captain. It couldn't get to us quick enough. It had to feed on something else.

All right. Well, here, there should be some emergency flashlights in this compartment. All right, here. Each of you take one. And how long will these last for? Well, a good few hours, at least. I think I'm beginning to understand, Marshal. Perhaps the findings of your previous research crew were correct.

This apparition begins at sea. Let's say it dies in the water decades, perhaps centuries ago. A ship sunken, cracked on the seabed. Just imagine, if you will, a mind trapped in the vastness of the water, unable to exist and experience anything other than the icy black depths. Then, finally, a ship sails by, crossing the spirit's path. It latches on for something for dear life, slowly. It absorbs energy from the ship.

You know, countless paranormal investigators have spoken of batteries draining, the ambient temperature dropping and fluctuations in the magnetic fields, all being signs of a haunting. It's been theorized that this happens when a spirit wishes to affect the physical world, that it needs energy to do so. And so the spirit is draining the heat and electricity from the ship so that it can manifest itself into a physical apparition? Precisely, Tanya.

It must require a vast amount of energy Since most reported encounters With spirits last only a few seconds An unseen footstep of whisper, a flicker of light This spirit, however, this one is different For whatever reason, it is so adamant That it wants to affect the physical world and those in it That it waits patiently for ten years at a time

Until it has enough energy to manifest long enough for its purpose And what is its purpose? Malovelance, violence, murder, call it what you will, but we know that it probably turned the oven on with that poor woman inside. It did this to cause pain and suffering, even at the expense of absorbing another victim. Absorbing? Well, that sounds pleasant. It's the only explanation I can think of. It takes ten years of draining small amounts of energy and heat and electricity to a eventually manifest physically, perhaps only for a few minutes at a time.

Then it takes a victim, dissipates, and uses that energy to appear again and absorb another. And on and on until there's no one left on board. Yes, exactly. It ran out of energy last time. And now there's no one left but us. And now it's draining the engines and everything on board so it can come for us. I'm afraid it looks that way, Captain. Well, then we have to get the hell out of here. To the lifeboats.

I will shoot anyone who steps foot on a lifeboat before that thing's been dealt with. Marshall, you don't mean that. Please come with us. I like you, Tanya. But I will put a bullet in you if I have to. I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself after. And don't live with that decision.

Come with us. We could be miles away from here. And risk that thing coming to box. on board or waiting here for more victims like my parents? No! This ends now. Everyone out onto the deck. Now, Marshal, don't do anything rash.

Just tell us what you want us to do. It's not so much work, Dominic, as it is where I want you to do it. We are going to confront that thing. Where? Down in the belly of this cursed chip. Down in the engine room. You realize you're killing us. Marshal, you're walking us to our deaths.

I hope not, Tanya, it's not what I want. I thought that it would be different this time, that I would just see it in my cabin and open fire. I didn't factor in becoming involved with you over these last few days. This is the last thing I

want, but trust me when I say this, if I can sacrifice my life before any of yours, I will. But this has to end. Your pillow talk is absolutely, scintillating. But do you think that you could keep it down?

I really don't want to attract this thing's attention. Which way to the engine room from here, Captain? I, uh... I don't recall. Which way! All right, all right. Down that hallway. The large metal door.

It's behind that. Why the engine room, may I ask, Marshall? Couldn't you have confronted the spirit elsewhere? Well, the engine room is surrounded by solid metal. It's the only room like that. the ship and when it manifests in physical form, I want to make sure it has nowhere to run. Now open the door, Captain.

But what if it's already there? Oh, I don't think we have much choice, Captain. Let's get this over with. It's so dark in there. You have flashlights. In, quickly. Close the door behind us, Dominic. Don't you want to let it in first?

There's no need. It's already here. Okay, the door is locked. Now what? We wait. Show yourself. I know you're hungry. I can feel it.

I'm not sure. Goating it is a good strategy. It's goaded me for long enough. Come on. Out you come. I've waited my whole life to see you. Maybe it's not here. Oh, it's here.

It's sucking the life out of this ship, just like it sucked the life out of my mom and dad. That's all it ever does. It just wants to feed and consume and cause pain. Well, I'm here to say I have had enough pain to last a lifetime, and I'm waiting. Did... did anyone hear that? Tonya, stay close to me. I don't see anything.

I don't know. Follow me if anything happens. Come on, come on. I know you're there. I know you're here. Show yourself! There is one L. Drake still alive you need to deal with. Tony...

Whatever happens, follow me or the captain out. You too, Doc. What about Marshall? We can only worry about ourselves. He's made his choice. Why does it make that noise? It's a twisted spirit, filled with rage and misery. Sounds about right.

Oh, shit. Look. It's ice. This is for mom and dad. The mommy. I can't be. Where did it go? Did I get it?

It's got her. Shoot it, Marshall. Come, it's touched. It felt just like mangled hair. God, I'm running out of bullets. This is madness, Eldrick. You can't kill what's already dead. And now you've consigned the rest of us to a watery grave,

just so you can have revenge. No, I just want to stop it from hurting anyone else. Well, then do the right thing, and let's get to the lifeboats. At least it won't get any more victims tonight. Marshal, it nearly got Tonya. Tanya, I'm sorry. Please, just let us go. Where is it?

You bastard, leave them all alone. We have to get out of here, Marshal. Make your decision. I have. Captain, lead everyone to the lifeboats. No, come with us. I can't. I have to finish this.

Pullets of our no use, you idiot! I wish I could have gotten to know you better, Tony. but it wasn't meant to be. Go! Come his mind! Let's get out of here! Tanya, leave him! I'm sorry, Marsha.

Which way? Along here, Doctor. Dominic, Tanya, keep moving. We had to leave him, Tanya. We had to. At least he'll buy us some time. Up these stairs. The lights are back on.

It's done feeding it. Where's that coming from? I don't know. We have to keep going. It's close. I can feel it. No, no, not far now. To the top deck.

Oh, no. That's not what I think it is. It's the old fire alarm. It's just like the derelict Captain Paula with a counter to 47. It's a fire from nowhere. Through here. Through the crew quarters. Come on.

Did it sound good? One of the decks is buckling. How did the fire spread this fast? All right. Come on down here. Then straight up those stairs. On this deck, too. I think there's a way through here and around.

Go! So much farther! We only have a few minutes until we're in the water. Keep going up. Oh, Christ, there it is. It's the figure. It's blocking the stairs. Burning alive or that thing? What choice do we have?

Well, it's coming right for us. Watch out. The route! Where did it go? I think the falling timber hit the damn thing. We can push past these beams, bud! There, the way's clear. Come on, up the stairs.

Thank God, clean air. Along the port side. There, see? The light boats. There's a slave for sorrows. Unhooked that lock, Dominic. I'll lower her into the water. Done

Faster That thing is coming up the stairs Faster captain I'm lowering it as quick as I can One We're not going to make it Every graves Ever seeing has never

Never been anywhere near the water Oh stop this I'm cutting the road Still more For the water See we must see me Hurry You need to cut the second one. I know.

Formless, crossing beneath the waves as the limit of thrive. They're done. Explorter. The ship's going down. Climb down, all of you. All right, everyone in the lifeboat. Never mind.

Start paddling or the ship will pull us under as it sinks. Right. All right, far enough. Look at her. So ends the history of the Stalin. Oh, she's gone. Big Rhyrins. Now what, Captain?

Is this old lifeboat even seaworthy? Wait, where's Marshall? I don't think he made it into the lifeboat in time. I'm sorry, but I had to get us a safe distance, or we all would have drowned. Marshall? Marshall! Tanya, I'm sorry. I know you cared for him.

It didn't have to be this way. Wait, look. Over there in the water. Marshall! Oh, Captain, get closer. I'll pull him in. Grab him. Get him.

I've got his arms. Help me. Pull him in. Is he breathing? Well, hold on. His face down. Put him onto his front. I think he's breathing okay.

But wait. Oh, my God. That's not, Marshall. From a watery grave by Michael Whitehouse. Thank you so much. That's a lot of fun. It feels good to be back on dry land. I'll drink to that. We would like to kick off our suddenly shocking series,

and I think Mr. David Alt will kick us off. Thank you. So we shall start. with Office 77734 by DG Collins. Welcome to Hell, my friend. No, it's not what I expected when I first arrived either, but it's true. Hell is an office job.

Oh, it doesn't seem too bad for Hell, does it? It's practically a dream job compared to lakes of fire and all that. I mean, sure, it's not one of those hip offices with, Funky feng shui and trendy colors and organic juice bars. It's not even a cubicle farm where at least you get a tiny scrap of privacy while you work. No, no, no, it's just an office with an open floor plan, nothing but desks, row upon row of grey metal desks beneath sickly fluorescent lighting. These people sitting at the desks are your new co-workers.

You may hear an occasional cough or stifle, but for the most part, we're all very quiet. Why? Because we're thinking. That's why. We are thinking very, very hard about the blank piece of paper on our desks. You've got one too. It's a standard three-by-five index card with one red line at the top,

and 10 blue lines underneath? No fancy computers to work on here. Just a plain, simple index card. But it is a very important index card. You get a new one every day, and if you write something on it, then you might get the evening off. What's so great about an evening off?

Well, a day in hell may be like working in an off. But the knights are a different thing entirely. At night we could end up with fire ants poured into our ears or dancing barefoot on broken glass. We've had our eyes lanced, our tongues shredded and our intestines unwound. And those were the easy nights. Normally it is much worse. That is why these indexes come. These index cards are so important.

Did you think that devils and demons would be creative with their punishments? Try telling a bunch of humans that one of them will get the night off if they come up with the most inventive torture of the day. Demons can't even compete with our creativity. Oh wait, I see that look in your eyes. thinking about getting everyone to band together and write down easy torches, like runny noses and stop toes, right? Mm-hmm. Well, forget about it.

No matter what you do, there will always be that one guy, you know? Usually more than one, but there will always be at least one stupid, selfish, or just plain evil asshole who ruins things for everyone else. and if you don't believe me, then you don't know your fellow humans very well. Or you never worked in an office. But I wouldn't worry about it. After tonight, I'm sure you'll fit right in. This is I Love Animals by I.W. Finch.

I'm a huge animal lover, which is part of what makes living in a third world country so deep. difficult. In the lower echelons, you see them kicked, shunned and starving by the sides of dusty roads. Now, this generally isn't an act of cruelty, but an act of willful ignorance. When you don't have enough money to feed your own family, your concern with the plight of street strays is necessarily diminished. If you're fortunate enough to have money, you see a different kind of abuse. One born, not out of apathy, but greed. Overcrowded cages heaving with endangered or exotic animals with dull eyes. Manicured men eager to haggle with you as they would for a car or a handbag,

touting the rarity of this one's markings or that one's size. Of course, you can report them. There are laws, and even here, this kind of trade is illegal. Call the authorities, though, and the animals will be moved or euthanized and dumped within the hour. No evidence, no crime. Word spreads fast and often from the mouths of the police themselves. Now naturally, I don't support the trade. Most pet owners, animal lovers, people who actually care don't. They rescue them off the streets, parasite-ridden, cringing with sharp ribs and hungry for love. Alternatively, if terribly concerned by,

disease or temperaments or breed, they find a reputable breeder, as I did. My last pet, Saskia, was a Burmese. I loved her dearly and had cried for hours when she had died of kidney failure. She was 18 and had lived a wonderful life. Spoiled, doted on, forever snuck table scraps with huge hazel eyes and a high mule. I was lonely. I missed my girl. Maybe that's why, when passing the livestock section of the Thursday markets, I didn't simply avert eye contact. Maybe that's why I hesitated. And maybe that's why I was immediately captivated by a filthy, rusting cage home to a tightly packed mass of imports.

Most of them were sick They all had conjunctiveitis Purulent red-rimmed eyes Studied me without focus They were matted and huddled together for warmth Shrinking back as I approached Behind the mask of illness though It was evident that they were all meant to be of good quality

These were pets for the wealthy Or at least those who wanted to appear that way most appeared to be oriental breeds Burmese like my beloved Saska Siamese Persian although there was the ever popular and fabulously expensive Bengal and some western breeds

I'm a huge animal lover but I was lonely and I could save one I wrapped her in a towel for the drive home she was crawling with parasites It's too sick to lift her head. I noticed blood streaks on her belly and made a mental note to book an appointment with the groomer

as soon as we arrived home. She muled at me, softly. I stroked her forehead. She muled again, louder this time. I don't speak Russian, honey. And she curled up in her chair. I mentioned earlier that we have a special guest with us tonight. This gentleman is our...

very own voice of God. He has been with the show for a couple of years now, and he too is one of our foundational voices, a man with the kind of voice that is so rock-solid and is so gifted at voice acting. He's been joining us at some shows recently here on the East Coast, and we're thrilled to welcome from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Mr. Mike Delgado. This is, I work in a small biotech lab by Calvin Deiard. I'm going to keep this short and the details sparse because, well, I've been up for three days straight and I'm getting very foggy. I work in a lab in, Southern... You know what, it doesn't matter.

We're primarily concerned with human parasites and their effect on the mind. For those of you have read all that freaky shit about toxoplasmosis, you have a pretty good idea of the kind of things that we're interested in. Well, we struck it big when we got some government funding

for researching a link between parasitic infection and major depression. Now, in science, it's not at all uncommon to set out to answer one question and find an answer to something you weren't even asking. The mark of a good scientist is the one who can pick that anomaly out and figure out what it is the answer to. Well, we started noticing a, well, let's call it an anecdotal trend. I can't get too into the details because they are definitely going to know that this is about them, but I can't have them

knowing who I am specifically. In about half of the blood samples we tested, from a random sampling, of course, they all contained traces of the element, it doesn't matter which. The point is, a little less than half of the blood samples had absolutely no trace of this element, and a little more than half had roughly a picogram per liter. Now that's nearly undetectable unless you are specifically looking at it. But Dr. Bush, well, he is quite simply. He's a savant.

And he had been pouring over the data and he came to us with this anomaly. So we started going back over the data and we noticed our trend very quickly. We entered in all the blood data and cross-referenced it with our demographics, the personality quizzes and legal records, and it was clear immediately. People with this element, this prion disorder, tended to be nearly 25% heavier, woke up nearly two hours later,

and reported nearly triple the rate of major depression. And nearly five times as many as of the almost always answer on the question, do you sometimes feel like you have trouble, understanding other people compared to those without the trace element. Well, long story short, we traced depression in humans to this prion disorder. What's more, this prion would retain traces of this element for some purpose or another, where an unaffected person's body would just naturally expel it if it were to encounter or ingested.

Well, so luckily for us, this meant a vector for curing all depression. It could be as simple as blocking ingestion of that trace element with a simple pharmaceutical. So we now knew major depression could be cured painlessly, permanently, easily. So we went to work, and finally, we had synthesized a cure, and we had synthesized a cure, and we were almost ready to go public. To this point, after almost a year, after discovering the disorder, of course, we were forced to work in top secret conditions. The government agency that had given us our grant

had pretty much assumed full control of the operation at this point. The cure was as simple as we had hoped. Block access to the element and the personality disorder, the depression in this. case was cleared up within a month. A person would only have to get one dose to be permanently cured. There was no discomfort. Most people just fell into a deep sleep and within a few hours awoke feeling like a new person, like a fog had lifted, they said. Oh, the cure worked, but it worked differently than we had expected. If you had the cure, you had the cure. If you had the

this prion disorder and were administered the cure, you would be trapped. The prion disorder would just shut down your control of your body, and then you can only watch. Now, the interesting thing was that the old prion's self didn't seem to know there was another consciousness present at all. A new cured version of yourself would simply assume control as if it had been Robert or Tiffany or James all along. But the actual consciousness born to the body was trapped, cut off. The old self would still mature with their body, but it would be severed, unable to communicate. The old self with the depression would be fully conscious, but would be trapped inside its own mind.

The cure essentially sequestered the current. depressed version of them, and they would wake up as someone else. Someone better, certainly, by all accounts from their test scores, smarter, wittier, seemingly more personable and empathetic, and the old self would be conscious, but locked in the torture cell of a permanent isolation chamber. Here's the reason I'm telling you this. Well, the agency involved was so impressed with the results. There's been an executive order, and they are skipping the optional part of the cure.

There's no testing for the disease. You can't choose to be cured. Nothing like that. They are just releasing the cure into the food supply. to ensure that Americans prosper compared to the rest of the world. You won't even realize until it's too late that it was you who was cured. You will go to sleep one night and you'll be trapped. And someone else will wake up and your new, better self will control your body.

And you will be left to rot in your own mind. I'm sorry you had to find out the same. way but I hope you enjoyed your dinner. Mike Delgado. Mr. Lewis I believe you have a story for us do you not. Oh I might have a juicy little morsel for you. This is fun fact by Brendan Befrey. I am in constant unbearable pain all the time and I really really just want to die and I I'm telling you this, so that hopefully you don't make the same mistake that I did. See, I made a deal with the devil.

I was dying of cancer, and I wanted my family to be financially comfortable after my death, so after summoning him, and I will not tell you how I did this, because it's something you should really never, ever do, which I learned the hard way. I asked him to make sure that my family had enough money to live comfortably after my demise. And he smiled, sure, he said. And I'll take away your cancer while I'm at it. Now I'm not an idiot. Well, I guess I am, but at the time I didn't think so.

And I knew enough to know that there's always a catch. So obviously, I asked, what's the catch? He smiles again. All you have to do is allow me to remove one organ from your body, any organ of my choosing. So I think about it. I figure this is, of course, some kind of trick. He's going to remove my heart or some shit and kill me. So I just want to make sure that I get this right.

Are you going to take a vital organ, I ask? can make it so that you can live without the organ, I choose. So do we have a deal? I go through all the scenarios in my head. Now if he removes my heart, I will still survive, because he will make sure I survive. Living without a heart wouldn't be so bad. Lungs, same thing, stomach, yeah.

I went through every organ I could think of and imagined life without it and decided that really I'd be willing to give any one of them up. So I said three words that I will regret for the rest of my life. It's a deal. Oh, hey, fun fact. Did you know that your skin is considered to be an organ? This is Catard Syndrome by Tanya Simone.

The day after I committed suicide, I met my true love. He couldn't see me, of course. but I fell madly in love with the way he walked, the way he would gently touch other people and things around him, almost with a true appreciation of life. He had what I wished I had in life. So I moved in with him. I watch over him while he sleeps.

I can't touch him, of course, and he doesn't know I'm here, but sometimes I leave little presents for him, a chocolate here and there, just to make sure he knows that there. there's someone out there that truly cares for him. My love for him is so strong that he can even feel it at times. He called out yesterday asking if someone was there. It warmed my heart so much.

I know that one day, when he joins me in death, we can truly be together, and he'll see me, look me straight in my teared up eyes, and tell me that he loves me too. It just, it all got so difficult today. He must have called someone. I suppose they must be exorcists or psychics. They're all dressed in blue, and they're trying to take me away from him.

With force, they dragged me out of his home, our home, and brought me to a white room and asked me questions. I assume this is the afterlife I would have gone to, had I chosen to stay with the living. everyone is dressed in white they keep telling me lies they keep telling me that I'm not dead they keep telling me that squatting in a blind man's house

is illegal they keep telling me that I'm crazy but I know it's not true in making my way back to the world of the living now I had to hurt one of the angels dressed in white to steal his keycard. I'm going to my true love,

and today he'll be joining me in death. In upstate New York, not far from my hometown, is the natural wonder in Niagara Falls. This is Honeymoon at the Falls by MJ Pack. The Falls have a pole, according to the locals, something dark and unearthly, like a siren song, sweet and somehow, terrible. It draws people of a certain intent. That's the polite way to say a lot of people end up

crushed on the rocks below. Their limbs torn apart by the unending rush of water. The brains that made them who they were, nothing more than bits of foam and meats floating to the surface. 20 to 40 a year, in fact, depending on who you ask. We were happy, weren't we? I thought we were. I thought maybe we were different from everyone else, that we'd actually make it. We wouldn't end up in that 50% statistic. We'd grow old together, laughing at the same stupid jokes,

knowing what was going to come out of the other's mouth before they even had a chance to say it. Was it the pressure of the wedding? The fact that I'm still between jobs, young 20-somethings in one of America's bleakest economies doing what we could to get by. Scambling for every scrap as the magazine covers reminded us how worthless our generation is. The snide remarks about our smartphones and Facebook and selfies. Married wasn't a good idea.

But we were in love. We were in love and we knew deep down in that secret point. place in our stomachs that she was the one for me and that I was the one for her. So then, why did it happen? No, no, I'm not supposed to ask that anymore. I'm supposed to accept the fact that she's gone. I'm supposed to accept the fact that she's her own statistic now, one of 20 to 40 people a year. Just another tumble of bones on the body count that's reached over 5,000 since the falls became an attraction both to tourists and people with death on their minds.

But it's so hard to accept when I can still see her face so clearly. That sweet, heart-shaped face with the little crescent moon scar on her left nostril. The way her big blue eyes lit up. When she showed me the fantastic deal she scored on Groupon, a Niagara Falls getaway for our honeymoon. If only I could go back. Tell her that the price was nice, sure, but I'd rather go to a beach or Ireland, or it didn't matter, anywhere,

but those cursed falls. It's impossible to describe how it feels to stand at the crest of Niagara, the mist peppering your face like cold. old little kisses, drinking in the smells and the sound and the remarkable way the water rushes down, down, ever down. Your existence seems like a cosmic joke in comparison to this almost hauntingly beautiful feet of nature, and for a moment it is. You know, the locals say you can tell who has a death wish by how close they'll get to the edge. Those who should. shy away, who shake their heads and insist nervously that they can see just fine from where they are.

Thank you very much. Those are the ones who can't trust themselves to get too close. If they get too close to the edge, some little part of them knows they'll jump. But she didn't shy away. She went right up to the railing. She was smiling. That's the worst part. She was smiling. It was early in the morning. It was one of those damp, gray dawns only possible in the new spring of upstate New York. We had the sight to ourselves, and it was a little spooky being out there all alone,

the kind of spooky you get from being in an empty shopping mall after hours. All those metal gates pulled down, and the lights turned off. She was standing there, a little too high on the guardrail, leaning just a little too far over, smiling as the mist touched her lips and made her hair curl into damp little tendrils on her cheeks. She was... I'll never know why I pushed her. That's something I'll have to accept. Ladies and gentlemen, Brandon Boone, Nicole Goodnight, Peter Lewis, Jessica McAvoy, David Alt, and Mr. Mike Delgado.

Thank you so much for coming out. you leave, we'd like to do our special tradition. If I could get the house lights up as well, we're going to take a selfie with you. How's that? The crowd goes wild with applause and cheers. Thanks so much for coming, folks. Thank you. Good night.

Your time in our other world has come to an end. We release you back into your own reality. If you would like to find out how you can hear the full-length versions of our audio program, please visit the no-sleeppodcast.com.

to learn about our season pass program. 25 episodes, each over two hours long, and three exclusive bonus episodes, all for only 1999. On behalf of everyone at the No Sleep Podcast, we thank you for listening. Join us again next week when our unseen hands will drag you down

into our dark storyland. This audio production is copyright 2016-2017 by Crescent. Creative Reason Media, Inc. All rights reserved. The copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors. The name The No Sleep Podcast is a trademark of Creative Reason Media, Inc. No duplication or reproduction of this audio program is permitted without the written consent of Creative Reason Media, Inc.