The NoSleep Podcast - S17 Ep25: NoSleep Podcast S17E25
Episode Date: May 22, 2022It’s the Season 17 finale! Come learn of the dark mystery of Goldmeadow.“Goldmeadow 2017”Produced by: Phil MichalskiStarring:Jessica McEvoy as MagdaleneGraham Rowat as GarciaAtticus Jackson as ...KentJeff Clement as RickKristen DiMercurio as AshMick Wingert as VictorWafiyyah White as CleoDavid Cummings as MercerKyle Akers as PhilLinsay Rousseau as JennyPenny Scott-Andrews as PennyPeter Lewis as GoatErika Sanderson as WitchJesse Cornett as Deputy Director Robert MillerDavid Ault as Mr. Janus KowalskiNichole Goodnight as GloriaDan Zappulla as JayBrandon Boone as Violent BobThis episode is sponsored by:Truebill – Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you don’t need, want, or simply forgot about. Start cancelling today at Truebill.com/nosleep. It could save you THOUSANDS a year.Click here to learn more about The NoSleep Podcast teamExecutive Producer & Host: David CummingsMusical score composed by: Brandon BooneAdditional music and songs courtesy of “Aqua Tofana” – used with permission“Goldmeadow 2017” illustration courtesy of Hasani WalkerAudio program ©2022 – Creative Reason Media Inc. – All Rights Reserved – No reproduction or use of this content is permitted without the express written consent of Creative Reason Media Inc. The Goldmeadow copyright is held in trust by Creative Reason Media Inc. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Ah, Mags, it's so good to be working with my goddaughter.
It's been a long time since I,
Classically trained actor Forsythe Mercer,
has lent his voice to a sponsored advertisement.
I'm so thankful for your help, Uncle Mercy.
The money we'll get from this ad will help fund a documentary I'm working on.
Well, of course I'm happy to help.
I'm just not sure I understand the gist of this company.
True Bill, is it?
That's right.
True Bill.
It's the new app that helps you identify
and stop paying for subscriptions you don't need, want, or simply forgot about.
I used to have a subscription to the thrice yearly newsletter called Bored Treaders, put out by the British
Actors Equity Association. Ah, but that was years ago.
Yeah, these days' subscriptions are quite different, and they're practically everywhere.
You see, most people have monthly subscriptions to digital or online services.
They're easy to sign up for, but not so easy to cancel.
That's how True Bill helps.
They help you keep a check on your finances by making sure you're only paying for the subscriptions you want.
Now that you mention it, I do have one of those digital subscriptions to an audio program titled The No Sleep Podcast.
Very entertaining.
I would never want to cancel that, though.
Oh, of course not.
That's an amazing podcast.
But people have many free trial subscriptions which end up costing them hundreds, if not thousands of dollars,
long after forgetting to cancel.
That's why we want people to fight back
against scammy subscriptions with True Bell.
I see.
And you say True Bill can help save a significant amount of money?
On average, people save up to $720 a year with True Bill.
Goodness, I never knew how difficult it could be
to terminate subscriptions from online companies.
Consider how companies make subscriptions hard to cancel.
That's why True Bill makes it incredibly simple.
Just link your accounts, and True Bill will cancel.
cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap.
Ah, I see.
And looking at the script,
I can see that your True Bill concierge is there when you need them
to cancel unwanted subscriptions, so you don't have to.
Exactly.
And get this.
True Bill has over 2 million users
and helped save them over $100 million.
Well, allow me to tell people
how they can get True Bill working to save their money.
Let's see, I'm to say,
Don't fall for subscription scams.
Start canceling today at truebill.com slash no sleep.
And then you say, go right now.
Truebill.com slash no sleep.
It could save you thousands a year.
Truebill.com slash no sleep.
Ah, this will be an easy promotion to perform.
It's going to be a big help for the documentary.
Tell me, what's this documentary about?
Well, there's this town called Gold.
Afternoon, gentlemen, I'll get right down to it. Thank you for coming, Deputy Director Miller.
You know why we are all here. You know why I'm behind bulletproof glass. Know why you can hear me
and I can't hear you. I believe you're already familiar with my colleague, Mr. Kowalski,
and I'm sure you can see the speakers on the wall. And the envelope on the desk? Ignore the
Listen to the audio.
I hope you enjoy what you're about to listen to.
In the year of 1967, the town of Goldmeadow, Ohio suffered a tragedy.
What caused the tragedy, nobody knows.
Indeed, nobody is aware of exactly what the tragedy comprised of, even.
But one thing is certain.
On one fatal day in May, the entire population of Gold Meadow disappeared without a trace.
Their whereabouts have not been determined.
After the disappearance, the site of Gold Meadow was quarantined by the U.S. government.
A perimeter fence was hastily set up miles outside of town, around the impossible mountain range that circled the once quaint rustic village.
For 50 years, the perimeter has been guarded by a private military company of unknown identity.
The solitary mountain pass to reach the village has been permanently under armed guard.
Naturally, rumors abound.
Investigations into the to the disappearances were conducted and immediately classified.
Due to the lay of the land, satellite imagery shows more.
Satellite imagery shows little more than a patch of ground obscured by the shadows of the mountain range that circles it.
An aggressive no-fly zone prevents amateur drone enthusiasts or private pilots from capturing footage above Gold Meadow.
Compounding the mystery is the reputation that Gold Meadow had back in the 60s.
The town was fiercely protected by its mayor, Thomas Cromby, and his father, before,
for him, and his father and his father and so on.
What few visitors did enter the gates spoke of a town steeped in quaint tradition and
esoteric, yet harmless, rituals and regalia, like something out of time.
But folklorists were intrigued.
The reports, vague as they were, sounded like no one specific culture they were aware of.
Indeed, many came across as amalgams of various different beliefs and inspirations.
One folklorist famously...
One folklorist...
Folklorist...
One folklorist famously claimed that the town's culture sounded like a masquerade.
What he meant by that, nobody was able to determine.
He was invited by Mayor Thomas Cromby to spend six months in Goldmeadow in
early
1967.
He disappeared along with the rest of them.
Given Gold Meadows strange history
and ultimately unknown fate,
it's no surprise that in recent years
internet sleuths and budding detectives
have long to solve the mystery.
But any attempts at entering the site,
legal or otherwise,
have been met with the staunchest of brick walls.
That was, until now.
The year is 2017.
Five years later, pictures, has been invited to be the first visitors to the Gold Meadow site in 50 years.
Our team is comprised of Oscar-nominated director, Andre Garcia, BAFTA Award-winning actor Forsyth Mercer,
Gonzo filmmaker, Rick Breen, and many talented others.
And then, of course, there's me, your host,
Magdalene de Silva.
I have...
Fuck, what was the line?
I have...
A great ass?
Thanks, Kent, babe.
That was definitely the line.
Yep, I'm a hero.
As if.
You're the true villain of this documentary.
Take two, guys?
Thursday, May 25th, 9.38 a.m.
The following recording is...
taken from Kent Clarkson's body cam.
Geez, that's hardly appropriate firearm safety.
Shh, he's doing us a favor.
A favor?
He's doing his job.
Sch.
Phil!
Hey friend.
He knows the gate guard?
Max.
Garcia knows everyone.
Remember?
Yo, Dre, my good bud!
All right, we ain't got long.
Remember what I said, yeah?
No loud music?
No loud anything.
Hell, no quiet music.
No sound at all, fuckers.
In and out in two days,
or the government said I can shoot you.
Yeah, sure thing, Phil.
I've heard your aim's so bad you miss at point-blank range.
Oh, yeah, hell, I'm just fucking with you.
You're on the back, you don't got to be afraid of Phil.
I'm a teddy bear.
Anyway, all y'all get on through now.
Well, drive on through, buddy.
The gate is closed.
You need to open the gate.
Oh, hell yeah.
Duh. Go on and get.
Oblaged.
How the hell did you know that guy, Garcia?
Like soup said, I know everyone, remember?
Thursday, May 25th, 1013 a.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
Hey, hey, listen up, people.
We're officially in Gold Meadow now,
which means the project has officially started.
There's no...
No time to hang around and get set up.
Everyone get those cameras on.
You remember the rules.
Record everything, always.
You all have three sets of body cams.
One live, one spare, one charging.
Make sure you keep this cycle up every day.
Batteries will last 12 hours filming.
We have spares in van, too, if necessary.
Right, yeah.
Obviously, there are exceptions.
Not many.
There are exceptions, like using the bathroom.
room or anything too intimate or revealing.
Use your personal comfort levels and discretion.
But just be constantly mindful, even during those times, that anything could happen here,
and you might need to start filming at any moment.
What? Are we expecting paranormal activity?
Well, you never know.
The last time this place was occupied, 77 people disappeared without a trace.
We can't rule anything out.
Speaking of, Roll Call, this will make a great scene for the movie.
Good idea, Kent.
So I guess we'll all confirm we're present and correct,
then go on to do our equipment checks together.
Some of you know each other, some of you don't,
so this will be a good getting-to-know-you exercise, if nothing else.
I'm Magdalinda Silva,
child actress turned documentarian,
co-owner of five years later pictures with...
Andre Garcia, director O'Tour, cruelly robbed of an Oscar this year by fucking La La Land.
You know the story.
Speaking of directors, I'm Rick Breen, a Rickory Breen Jr.
My father directed a lot of movies, more than Dre.
Yeah, so he did, what have they done with the Crystal Cat's Head?
Dance, Dance, Naked Blade, 1 and 2, a Wampogue family dinner, the Happy Slap chap,
And recently, I've co-directed a movie using footage.
We were covered after his death.
It was, well, a Wampoke family breakfast.
And I'm currently working on much, much more in the Wampoke franchise,
including the animated web series, A Wampoke Family Vlog.
Yes, Ricky Breen, Sr. and his catalog of hits.
Very, is there a word for a...
The movie, B-movie?
They developed a cult following eventually.
A very lucrative cult following.
What Rick's trying to say is that he's disgustingly rich
and usually has no idea what to do with his money.
But I have to hand it to him.
He has a good eye for good movies as well,
which is why he funds mine
and serves as the third partner in five years later pictures.
Curse the bond of being college roommates.
You can never break free.
You're stuck with me, pal.
And next we have soup over here.
Kent Clarkson.
Yes, that is my real name.
I'm the lead camera guy.
Met mags in a bar.
Became friends.
Became friends with benefits.
Became an official couple.
Then on day two of knowing each other, became business partners.
And speaking of whirlwinds, I'm Ash.
officially I'm an assistant camera
but we all know why I really call the shots
literally I'm the one who most of you don't know though
I think so just consider me a tall dark mysterious stranger
which is funny because you know I'm short
and you know well yeah
absolutely not socially awkward
not at all intimidated in larger groups
and everyone loves me
trust me you'll stop finding me
hella annoying and start finding me
hella adorable by like tomorrow morning at the latest
I promise
Well, it's nice to formally meet, you, Ash.
Next up, we have our long-suffering assistants.
Jenny Beaumont, assistant to Magdalene De Silva.
Penny Porter.
Assistant to Andre Garcia.
Typically, if you need them, you come through us.
Typically.
But, of course, we're on-site in Gold Meadow, roughing it,
so I think we can drop the usual formalities that would occur on a set.
Speaking of roughing it, where are we actually sleeping?
We're not camping in this parking lot, right?
Nope. I'll get to that in a moment.
But we're not quite done with the intros yet.
Victor.
Victor Spinoza, sound guy.
Well, short and sweet.
And speaking of sweet, I can see you over there dying to introduce yourself, Cleo.
Now, honestly, this is who most of the introductions were for, because...
I think you're forgetting someone.
I thought you fell back to sleep in the van, you old goat.
Such disrespect.
I was resting my eyes.
Long drive, wasn't it?
I am a classically trained actor of stage and screen, I'll have you know.
I think everyone knows, Uncle Mercy.
Anyway, a man who I'm sure needs no introduction,
it's famed actor of stage and screen-turned voice actor,
and my beloved godfather, Forsyth Mercer.
And let me bloody tell you,
I'd be recording this post-filming in the comfort of a warm studio
if it wasn't for the personal connection to Magdalene
and her insistence on capturing this entire experience
within the magical mystery realm of Gold Meadow.
Foulishness.
Oh, you can't fail to love him.
Which brings me back to Clea.
Some of you may have seen her face before.
She has a pretty popular YouTube channel doing all kinds of things.
But I'm honored to have her joining us on this expedition as our intern,
so she can learn about the art of on-site filming and documentary making.
Hey guys, I'm so psyched to be here.
Record scratch. Freeze frame.
Yep, that's me.
You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
Being alive, I mean.
After all, it's pretty well known.
Ten bodies were recovered from gold medal in 2017.
Whatever happened there, there were no survivors.
Evidence and information can be so easily manipulated, though, can it?
We're in the era of fake news and misdirection, after all.
And, well, the years following 2017 have been tumercheless, to say.
the least. So who's been looking too closely at who died where or who survived what? I wasn't part of
this back then. I didn't choose this life. I'm doing this because if I don't, then one day you
would have found me. One day you wouldn't have finished what you started in 2017. You thought
you've gotten away with it. You thought you buried the events in gold medal.
Both eras. I'm just glad this isn't all resting on my shoulders.
Thankfully, I'm not the only one who made it out that night.
Five years ago, I died.
In the eyes of the media, the public, the law, even my family.
Now, in 2022, I want to help share our story because I don't like being dead.
I especially don't like being murdered.
We set out to make a cute documentary
that paid tribute to a group of missing people
and showed off a wonderful hidden piece of land.
This is not that documentary.
Instead, this is a story of betrayal and death,
of murder and tradition,
one of fear, fury, and farming rye.
After the ten times,
Ten of us arrived in Gold Meadow.
Garcia and Rick led us to a large single-story building just to the left of the center square,
the Lambent Square, in fact.
When it was inhabited, Gold Meadow was separated into five locations of importance.
Each site was, still is, actually, marked with a beautiful sculpted obelisk.
The Lambent Square.
The resplendent village.
The gilded fields.
the flaxen orchard, and the burnished caves.
All the buildings in Gold Meadow, besides a few exceptions, were all single story.
According to an unofficial Gold Guide 65, the book which has become sort of a Bible for Gold Meadow
officinados, this was one of the many esoteric elements of their amalgamated folklore.
For us, we thought it meant we didn't have to worry about any 50-year-old staircases.
collapsing on us.
This turned out to be true,
but for extremely different reasons
than we expected.
In preparation for our arrival,
the powers that be had instructed
members of the gate guard
to make an excursion into Goldmeadow
to convert the meeting lodge into dormitories.
I'm sure those soldiers loved us for that.
They did a pretty great job, though, honestly.
Got the number of rooms, right?
Even put name cards on our doors,
so everyone knew who was where.
So let's return to five years later pictures
from five years ago.
Thursday, May 25th, 1121 a.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
So, this is our room?
Nice view.
I had no idea there was so much forest.
Can you see the village?
Not from here.
I thought we'd be.
able to. None of these woods to the west are on the map. But I guess a lot of trees can grow in half a century.
What about Lake Aurelia? You should be able to see that, right?
Just the stream. The lake itself is past the eastern forest and the titular gold meadows.
Damn. I don't want to see the lake today. There's a church in it.
Got some sins to confess? I mean, yeah.
Plenty. You've even been complicit in some of them.
I sure have. Remember the first time we joined the Mile High Club?
Sure do. And the second? And the third.
Oh, Lord, we're not going to be a third wheel to you guys having a dirty weekend, are we?
Yes, Magdalena, honey. Remember, this is a documentary, not a sex tape.
Indeed.
Although I seem to remember a certain Magdalene de Silver upskirt snap at the Force Awakens premiere proved quite lucrative for us.
Great publicity.
For sure.
Such bad luck that I happened to be wearing my Hyde Richardson as a sexual predator panties that night.
And my limo happened to pull up just while he was live streaming his red carpet commando ho segment.
Next time on Magdalene de Silva, a former partner leaks a sex tape that inadvertently outs him as a serial killer.
Oh, man, I could not deal with that.
Having a sex tape leaked, I mean.
But you'd be fine with sleeping with a serial killer as long as the sex was good, right?
Wait, what?
Don't worry about it, babe.
Garcia was just being his usual grim, dark self.
Ha, gotta love grim, dark trait.
The only thing worse than being stranded in the middle of nowhere with Garcia
is being stranded in the middle of nowhere with Grimdark Garcia.
Kent, honey, we're not stranded.
We can leave whenever we want.
Now you've cursed us.
Geez, I'd hate to be stranded, though.
Vic was telling me about when he got stranded on a shoot in Kinchinjunga,
absolutely freaking chilling.
Shit, man.
Vic's stories are always wild.
Victor talks, and Ash stops talking long enough to listen?
Only me surprised on two counts.
Vic, man, I had no idea you had such cool stories to tell.
You'll have to share some over the week.
Jase.
Okay, then?
Cool.
It's a date.
If you twist my arm, I may share some of my famous Forsyth Mercer horror story.
is with you young whippersnappers.
No, no, don't groan.
I've gained some new ones since I last did the talk show circuit.
Nobody's groaning, Uncle Mercy.
Your stories are legendary.
Ah, Uncle Mercy, I've missed you, young Mags.
And for the rest of you, while I do normally insist on full formality at all times,
I'm a classically trained actor, after all.
You may call me by my nickname of Mercy, or even Uncle Mercy as Mags does, if you like.
Uncle Mercy, I love it.
Uncle Mercy it is, then.
Does Garcia seem like he's actually in a good mood for once?
Loosening up a bit?
It's rare, but it happens.
He's only an insufferable artiste 90% of the time.
Oh, come on.
It's at least 95%.
Okay, granted.
Also, Christ, remind me to scrub the footage so he doesn't hear this.
Don't want him hearing you call him inseparable?
Don't want him hearing me saying that sometimes he's not.
Thursday, May 25th, 1237 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
Oh, man, I needed that.
Haven't eaten since the diner last night.
Jenny and Penny make the best Sam.
Thank you. Thank you. Pistrami and pickles, literally the combination of the gods.
We all seem to get the best luck with food. Well, aside from Uncle Mercy when he's back in the UK.
Oh, I swear to God, my countrymen have never heard of seasoning.
Victor has some pretty great food stories, don't you, Vic? He used to do sound for one of those
extreme food shows, tried everything, even things the presenter wouldn't touch. Really, Victor?
Jace.
Anyway, Megs, I believe there's a plan you'd like to discuss?
Correct.
We'll be breaking into groups Alpha and Omega.
Very diplomatic.
Not A and B.
We'll be breaking into groups Alpha and Omega
and exploring various areas of the Gold Meadow site.
Mostly, the purpose of these three days is to capture plenty of on-site footage,
and for Forsyth and myself to record some pre-written hosting segments.
But...
We can also do some investigating.
The packs we've prepared for you
contain a bunch of safety information
on the various areas of gold medal will be visiting.
And you each have a map.
As everyone's noticed by now,
cell phones don't work here.
No calls, no data.
The mountains block it all.
But we do have extremely spotty Bluetooth and local Wi-Fi,
but I wouldn't count on it working.
This said, all the body cams have active,
Bluetooth connections to the server cluster we set up in the Lodge's entrance hall.
I imagine you've all seen it by now.
It's the collection of second-hand laptops covered in vinyl stickers and hooked up with
Ethernet cables that look like they've survived one too many Quake 2 land parties from 1999.
Cleo, I see you frowning.
Don't worry, you're too young to understand the reference.
I think that's a compliment.
So in theory, all the body cams will automatically connect to the server cluster upon boot.
and the software Mags wrote is designed to pull any complete files from the body cam's
SD cards at three-hour intervals to create an automatic backup on the cloud.
This all sounds impressive, but it probably isn't going to work.
It's not just the surrounding mountains that lead to signal fuckery in Goldmadow.
Both Phil and our government contact mention that it can be a crapshoot
whether any kind of wireless communication works in Goldmadow.
Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.
So we're using our cloud backup system because it's already the,
But it's super mega important that every single one of you remembers to manually back up your SD cards to both of your designated servers indicated in each of your packs.
Get into the habit of doing this as your first task when you return to camp at the agreed rendezvous time.
If you happen to return to camp before then, for any reason, try to remember to make an unofficial backup on servers B1, B2, or B3.
These are just cheap and cheerful precautionary backups, so just throw the files on any of them.
Remember, do not overwrite your SD cards, ever.
We've brought over 502-terabyte cards.
You should be carrying five blank cards in your field packs at any given time,
alongside the card in your camera.
Archiving all cards you've used is your secondary mandatory daily task upon rendezvous after manual backup.
As previously discussed, all SD cards are to be archived by providing them directly to Penny or Jenny at the server cluster.
They will then be placed into the same.
This may all seem excessive to some of you, but it's better that we're overly cautious
than find ourselves back home with a key piece of footage missing never to be recovered.
Finally, we have our walkies for contacting each other, and fill too, if necessary.
You've all been provided with the list of channels to use.
Then we have the satellite phone, which essentially functions as a smartphone.
However, due to the unknown nature of Goldmeadow's signal blocking,
we've had to bring a device which is beyond military grade.
To give a sense of scope, we were only able to rent this device for seven days,
despite at least one of us closing in on being a billionaire.
As you can imagine, the cost of calls and data is fitting for a device of this magnitude.
Yeah, I really don't want to go bankrupt because someone just couldn't wait a few more days to send nudes.
So yeah, no offense, but it's only for the most emergency of emergencies, okay?
and only me and Garcia know the password.
Ha. Okay, Boomer.
Wait, what? Why?
Clearly, you don't appreciate how sin nudes can be a groundbreaking emergency for the Melina Z crowds.
Thankfully, this is outside my personal wheelhouse, but yes, I can confirm.
On the whole, millennials and Gen Zers are disgustingly horny.
I mean, Snapchat was literally invented for the purpose of being the optimal way to quickly and efficiently send urgent nudes.
Yo, Ash, you should come on my podcast someday when we're back home.
I think you'd make a great guess.
I broadcast it live on YouTube, audio and video.
Then release the audio on iTunes and Spotify in places later.
That'd be sick. I've always wanted to be on a podcast, and I'm kind of a fan of yours.
Isn't this heartwarming? Everyone's becoming best pals.
But hey, just real quick before you completely forget that I'm your employer and trying to
Referee, as well as the portable generators we brought, it seems like our friendly neighborhood
government has provided a couple as well.
And there are functioning shower cubicles and porta-potties behind the lodge.
Remember when I told you we'd have to bathe in the lake and do our business in the woods,
and you were all, ewe.
Well, I listened.
And see, don't I take care of you all?
Bravo, fearless leader.
Sorry, boss.
That's genuinely really cool of you.
Really sorry for derailing Mr. Garcia.
Won't happen again.
It's fine.
Don't worry about it, Chloe.
Cleo.
Not Chloe.
Right, Cleo.
Yes.
So, anyway, joining me in Group Alpha will be Mercer, Chloe, and Breen.
It's...
Never mind.
So, Ash, Vixter, Kent.
I'm afraid you're with me.
We won't be splitting up too far today.
Let's get to lay the land and the feel of things for now.
Yes, soup, that means diving down to the church is going to have.
have to wait. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Sick. It's like fully ass underwater, right? Totally under the lake.
Victor was telling me about the submerged village he visited sounds legit. The church is indeed
fully ass underwater. And I am excited to get my full ass down there to see what it's like
to attend a service in bikini bottom. A sponge bob joke. You absolute nerd.
We split into two groups. Garcia and his lot went west.
with a plan to capture footage of the exterior of Gold Meadow Village
and get some on-site recordings with Mercer.
Penny and Jenny stayed behind to prep for the following week.
These two were intended to stay at base camp each day,
which was absolutely fine by them.
Neither of them are, were, truck through the forest kind of gals.
And me and my group?
Well, we decided to head northeast,
to the outskirts where the fields became the outer forest, which became the mountains.
We wanted to see what we assumed would be the sad, pitiful remains of what were once the gilded
fields on the town's famous orchards.
They weren't easy to reach.
There was a pass through a hilly wooded area, and only following the map in an unofficial Gold Guide 65,
were we able to find the location of the fields in which the villagers used to farm rye and grow fruit tree.
Thursday, May 25th, 1.18 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene de Silva's body cam.
Holy crap,ola. Do you guys see that? Tell me I'm not the only one seeing that.
You are not the only one seeing that.
Wow. That's stunning.
What are they? Are they really poppies?
Jace.
You're not wrong, bud. I've never seen poppies that.
They're dark purple and vibrant white like this before.
Opium puppies.
Wait.
Yeah, they do look like opium poppies.
But the colors are way stronger.
Oh, shit.
Shit, get down.
Kent.
What?
Oh.
Well, I thought if we've stumbled into a drug farm,
then we were about to get shot at.
No, the farm.
Tropies not maintained.
He's right.
Look, there are years of rotting seed pods on the ground.
This is wild, untamed nature.
Opium poppies growing wild in Ohio, though?
Hell, even in the U.S.?
Aren't they only native to somewhere else?
Turkey?
And why do you two know so much about opium poppies?
We filmed the documentary series for VICE.
We looked at a bunch of stuff, modern opium farming, devil's breath, curare, all sorts.
Oh, snap, you guys worked on those?
Hell yeah.
Great times. Hey, so according to the map, this is just the first rye field.
How about we head on to the orchard, and I'll tell you about how we met?
Sounds good.
So it was funny. Do you remember back in 2015, a very popular website, this, etc.?
And most of it got cut, which was a bummer.
So, funny story, in, oh yeah, September of that same year, I'm out in Scottsdale, of all places,
celebrating a friend's birthday. We're at this bar, and it's like the most country-ass country bar.
you could ever imagine. Like, everything is country. The drinks, the decor, the music, the live
music. Places for real called the Rusty Spur. Look it up. And I freaking love it. Okay? I love it.
So I may be a little more hyped up than I normally would be. So at the corner of my eye,
I see the doors swing open. And I mean that. This bar's got actual, like, saloon double doors.
They swing open and it's like, it's still light out. So I squint and see this big, tall dude walking in.
And I recognize him. I totally recognize him. He's the guy who stood there holding
the boom mic when I was getting interviewed about my deviant lifestyle. So I say to my friends,
hey, I'm going to go give this dude a piece of my mind. And they have absolutely no freaking clue
why I'm going to give this big guy a piece of my mind, just that I am. And they know I can be
fiery when I want to be. So I guess they're all, uh-oh, this fella could flatten them without
breaking a sweat. But I don't care, you know? So I storm over to the guy and, okay, I'm sure you're
realized by now, it's Vic. And he's clearly there working because there's a guy with a camera and
some chick and a tight t-shirt holding a mic and another woman.
I don't recognize any of these, though, just Vic.
So I storm up to him, and I square up to this six-foot-four dude who could bench-press
my whole family, all five-foot-two of me, and I jab him in the chest, and I say,
hey, buddy, what's the deal with my interview getting cut?
Now, let me clarify something here.
I wasn't mad.
I was kind of drunk, and I meant this to be a joke, a way to say hi to this guy I recognized,
like an icebreaker.
I didn't think through any of the logistics, but not like least of all that it
had been months. I was wearing a cowboy hat, and we were in a dimly-lit bar, as if he'd have
any freaking idea who I was, right? But no, so right then, there's a lull in the music,
and Vic looks down at me and says, it was a shame. They would not listen to me. Your story was
interesting. And my eyes just widened because it struck me that there was no freaking way this
dude would remember me or know who I was, but he did. So that was like super wholesome and
shit. But then before I could even take it in or say anything back, the freaking dickbag
cameraman, he's got this shoulder-mounted camera held by his side, and he goes, freaking, I don't know,
it was something like, hey, Vic, you want to keep quiet about knowing any hot pieces of ass in Arizona?
And my face just fell.
This is the good bar.
Man, that sucks.
Yeah, but, guess what happened next? Without even pausing, Vic turns to the guy and just
gently takes the camera from his hand, just like real gentle-like. Then he hands it to me, says,
You look after this.
So I hold it, and Vic puts his arm around the cameraman and just leads him outside.
Me and the other women follow them out, curious.
I'm holding this heaviest balls camera, and Vic leads the guy into the middle of the main street
and lets his arm drop from his shoulder and just says, tell him, Vic, tell him what you said.
I say, now we need a new camera person.
Fuck off, buddy.
And the cameraman he ran away.
Ah, good times.
Maybe I should do the line delivery next time,
but honestly, it was way funnier than it sounds.
Nah, it's pretty great.
So, what happened then?
We needed a new camera person,
and Ash was holding the camera, so new camera person.
Now we are always together.
Yep, I was holding the camera, so the job was mine.
Also graduated from NYFA with a 4.0.
I forgot to mention that part,
although you probably know that, don't you?
Or do you?
I don't know how the FYL pictures hierarchy works.
Does Penny do the hiring for you?
Or is Jenny your assistant?
God damn, I get those two mixed up.
I'm awful.
But yeah, are you all like hands-on with that kind of stuff?
Or am I totally misunderstanding the structure of the company?
Geez, we've been employed with you for like a month and I don't know this stuff.
I'm awful.
Please don't fire me, especially not in the middle of nowhere.
Hush, you're doing the thing.
Right.
Yes.
Talking a lot when I'm apprehensive.
Yeah, I'm hands-on with the hiring.
and I actually majority own the company.
Kent, Garcia, Uncle Mercy, and Rick are partners,
and Rick's also our primary investor.
It's complicated, but essentially, I'm the big boss.
Why are you apprehensive?
Let me just catch my breath.
Okay, it's this place.
Do you guys not feel it?
It's like buzzing.
Like there's an energy in the air,
almost, but not a good one.
And, wait, no, it's not in the air.
It's like it's under our feet, like it's humming in the earth.
They call this the gilded fields and the flaxen orchard, right?
Like, there's definitely something about the earth here.
Touch it.
Hmm.
I feel the warm grounds, but...
Huh, I think I feel.
I do feel it.
It's something.
Almost like a throbbing, a heartbeat.
Throbbing.
Hey, don't look at me like that, Mags.
Ash, can you explain it a little more to me?
Ash?
Where you get to?
You guys have to come see this.
Thursday, May 25th, time unknown.
The following recording is taken from Spare One Body Care.
Which, which, pull it up, heart beating, and see, it is the goat.
Thursday, May 25th, 141 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
I think it's a horse.
You're both right.
It's a goat and a horse.
And a symbol of death.
Huh?
That's one more to add to the didn't read and unofficial gold guide 65 list.
I totally did, well, some of it.
Well, the intro.
Victor read it.
I read it.
Blindmare.
Yeah.
So this is the blind mare.
Here, the book says it best.
The blind mare is a piece of iconography, which seems to be completely unique to gold meadow culture.
While clearly sharing similarities with the world,
Welsh, Marie Lloyd, and other similar hobby horse traditions, the blind mare differs in that it's
not wholly equine.
Equine means horse family, right?
So like horses, zebra.
And asses.
You!
Yeah, baby.
Wow.
That is literally the most frat boy thing you've ever done.
Don't hear any complaining from your quarter, though.
No complaints here.
In fact, maybe.
Uh, so y'all don't want to be rude, but I was like really hyped to hear about the blind mare.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Uh, sorry.
Um, uh, the blind mare differs in that only its name is equine.
Indeed, anyone who lays eyes upon this mischievous prancing beast will see that its head is distinctly caprine,
with the familiar shape of a goat's horizontal pupils
floating eerily in the eye sockets of the otherwise skeletal visage.
The blind mare takes center stage during the town's Reven Festival.
One designated member of the community wears the blind mare outfit
from 10 a.m. until 10 p.m., engaging in various frivolities
that mostly center around the blind mare being shued away.
One such ritual involves the blind mare being chased in a circle around the Reven pole
by the children, as part of the Reven Festival's opening day custom.
After 17 cycles of the pole, the blind mare will flee into the forest, much to the shrieking
delight of the children. Later, at 10 p.m., after the sun has set, the first blindmare actor
will hand the costume over to a second performer. While during daylight hours, the villagers
chase the blind mare away, at night the ghastly goat serves as an aggressor, stalking the forest
and outskirts of the village, chasing any who are brave, or foolhardy, enough to venture into its
territory.
In couples, young men and women of the village challenge themselves to evade capture by the blind mare
for an hour, and should they do so, it is a sign that the following year is the year they
should marry.
Should they both be caught, however, the legend tells that their relationship is surely doomed.
Wow.
Imagine getting cock blocked by a pantominy.
I'm goat.
The absolute literal worst thing to have to admit to.
I don't even do the deed, and I can still feel the pain.
So what's the story behind the beastly billy itself?
Alas, this is one of the many entries into Gold Meadows' extensive, unique,
crypto-zoological bestiary, for which we have no confirmed backstory.
Given its nocturnal role, one could assume it has a connection to fertility, although the daylight rituals don't correlate.
As we know, the dance around the Revenpole symbolizes the wrapping of a gift to present to the ghosts of long-dead gods.
To observe the Blindmare costume, its flowing black full-body cloak clearly brings to mind a grim reaper,
and since Gold Meadows other festival costumes all represent creatures that serve as emissaries to
these long-dead gods, it would be unusual if the blind mare was an exception. So the significance of
the creature being chased away from the Reven pole during the daylight hours is unclear. Perhaps whichever
god the blind mare serves is at odds with the others. Perhaps the laughter-filled shooing away of the
blind mare is childlike fun that the creature itself is in on. Or perhaps, like the majority of
Gold Meadows' esoteric rituals and iconography, the explanation and meaning has,
has long since been lost to time.
Regardless, after we were kindly invited to attend
and take part in Gold Meadows' 1966 Reven Festival,
a seven-day experience filled with nothing but joy and love,
we can only hope the Blindmare costume is donned by the chosen actors
for many, many years to come.
That's surprisingly wholesome and heartwarming for a wiki entry
on a terrifying goat reaper, right?
Honestly, that's the case for so much about Gold Meadow.
I think you'll really dig the book when you read it.
There's a lot of wild, creepy imagery in their beliefs, but so much of it is ultimately really positive.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just spring drunk, but I feel real uplifted and hopeful about all this.
Spiritual, even.
I feel you, sweets.
It's a goddamn tragedy what happened to this place.
So much culture.
So many stories.
Just fully lost.
Were there really no survivors?
Well, we have no idea.
Maybe all of them survived.
Everyone in town in 67 disappeared without a trace.
75 of the townsfolk and two visitors.
Literally, only two people who lived here were out of town at the time.
Aquatifana.
Wait, what?
As in the 70s band, my paw freaking loved them.
Oh, snap, you didn't know?
Okay, tonight, history lesson.
Man, I feel bad.
Everything was so sudden.
I really didn't brief you guys well enough.
Hey, nothing like on-site learning.
So hang on, this, uh, blind mare costume,
it's on a willow mannequin.
And this pole in the center of the clearing,
this is the, the Reven pole then?
Look, it's wrapped up tight and old burlap or something.
Hang on, this has got to mean...
Uh, so the costume is...
There's something...
Hmm.
A timeline.
Yeah.
Yeah, buddy.
There's a timeline on display here, but...
Okay, so...
The Revan pole.
They dance around it.
And the horse...
Fuck.
The goat.
That dances, too.
And they chase it away or...
Something.
Right?
And...
Uh...
Fuck.
Let me get the book out again.
I know this stuff, God damn it.
I should know it all.
It's really hot and stuff.
Duffy in here.
Maybe we should crack a window.
Help you think straight.
We are in a forest.
Outdoors.
Huh.
So we are.
It is humid, though, bro.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Ba-ha-ba-a-da-it.
Ba-a-tit.
Bit.
Tit.
Tit.
Tit.
Tit.
Tit.
Tit.
Would you get a dance, ma'am?
Whoa, don't tear.
It can't.
Kent, stop it.
Leave the poor skeleton goat alone.
I remembered it what I was trying to think or say.
The Revan poles are wrapped up tight,
which happens on day one of the Reven Festival.
Then on day two, they removed the pole from the ground
to saw it up for the next phase.
So, I remember, I remember, I read this,
the costume handover takes place publicly.
each day. I think on one of the days it happens in the festival hall. On the final day it happens at
the lakeshore and, yeah, on day one, the handover occurs in the Reven Grove, which is where the
pole is also, which is here. So hang on, this means something, right? What does this mean?
Well, rumor has it that the investigators looking into the disappearance believe that at least some of the
villagers had dropped what they were doing, quite literally, just before they disappeared.
You get rumors like this around every disappearance, though. Cups of coffee half drank, meals,
half eaten, and the government handled it all, so, you know, everything's all a conspiracy theory
all of the time when it comes to Gold Meadow.
But if the costume is here, then we can pinpoint, we can pinpoint that the disappearances
occurred after the first blind mare actor removed the costume.
And before the second one put it on.
Yes.
And the Revan pole is wrapped.
So that means it's extremely likely that everyone disappeared in the evening of day one of the Reven festival, sometime around 10 p.m.
Holy shit, this is a breakthrough.
Maybe.
It seems right to me.
Don't you think, Ash?
It definitely seems possible, but...
Fuck!
Mags, you've done it. You've completely solved the gold medal mystery.
Not fully. We've narrowed things down slightly.
But with this, we'll probably solve everything by tomorrow.
Maybe the next day, if we get distracted.
Distracted by what?
Oh, I don't know. Each other.
Hey, y'all, there are children present? Well, there used to be in the 60s.
But me and Victor are present, and we're children of nature.
What I'm trying to say is, as respectfully as possible, given that y'all are my bosses, and I hope after this time we've spent together, my friends, what I'm trying to say is, can y'all get a room before you start stripping each other off in the forest or just like another clearing out of eye and earshot?
Oh, shit, I seriously, honestly forgot you two were here.
I'm so sorry, genuinely.
Like, really, really, sorry.
Do you hate me now, Anne?
Victor, do you hate me?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, I'm just, I'm not a big fan of seeing real intent PDAs out of nowhere.
Just, it's my problem. I shouldn't.
No, it's okay, Ash.
You are not to worry.
Yeah, what the big sexy guy said.
Don't worry about it, Ash.
Don't you worry a goddamn mother-loving thing about it.
Me and Mags, we're just gonna...
Go for a little walk through these lovely old trees.
Ow!
And you, all these trees have little mushrooms.
And they bleated on me.
I'm sure they didn't.
It's just sap.
You're just sap.
The mushrooms totes bled on me.
And the tree smells like death.
The tree does not smell like death, honey.
It so dies.
Like a decomposing,
Corpse has been rotten around for three days.
The whole forest smells like it.
Maybe it's a premonition.
Coming soon.
Murder in Gold Meadow.
Coming soon.
Hey, y'all, don't forget to turn your cameras off.
So, that was weird, right?
Weird and out of character?
I know we've only been with them a month, but...
No.
You are right.
It is sweet.
Weird.
But then, I feel weird too, don't you?
They're hot.
I definitely feel weird.
Like, all my senses are going off at once, but like I can smell, sound, and sea taste.
This I am afraid.
I do not understand.
Me either, but I think we need to be extra vigilant and extra safe.
And...
Holy shit, look at the size of that goddamn puffball.
I am absolutely going to eat that.
Hi.
Me again.
I feel like, for the posthumous reputation of everyone involved, I must interject here and say that, no, you're not imagining it when it seems like the four of us were behaving increasingly erratically and unrealistically. Although, I imagine you have a horrible suspicion you already know what caused it, don't you? And I bet I know exactly what made you sit up and start paying attention. Almost like something.
and grabbed you by the throat and started to crush.
I hope you enjoyed our little intermission.
Had a chance to get up, stretch your legs,
maybe vomit in the bathroom
as the enormity of the situation begins to dawn on you.
But keep listening.
It might seem bad right now,
but I promise it gets way,
way worse than you suspect.
I sympathize with you.
I do.
This wasn't your fault.
You didn't start all of this.
We all know this started long ago, but you are complicit.
And more importantly, you're the one with the goddamn bad luck to be at ground zero
when this time bomb finally went pop.
And trust me, it was always going to burst.
No matter how much you and yours had convinced.
You convinced yourself, it was disarmed.
So I feel bad for you.
I do.
But you can't say you didn't have it coming.
And I want to remind you of something else also.
I was there.
I lived through this.
Sure, I didn't have it as bad as Mags or Ash or some of the others.
But I was there.
I suffered.
I have the scars to prove it.
Look!
Look!
Kind of rude to visibly wince at someone's appearance.
Don't worry.
I'm just kidding.
I was hoping for the shock and awe reaction.
I just wanted to remind you that when you play with fire, you get burned.
Although this was more of a shotgun-to-the-face type of situation, of course.
Anyway, let's continue our afternoon maddenay, shall we?
Thursday, May 25th, 9.03 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Forsyth Mercer's Body Cam.
God damn, this is nice.
This is real nice.
You're telling me, young lady,
I don't think I've had a cookout at a campfire since I was a young man.
You're still a young man, Uncle Mercy.
It's really okay if I call you that, right?
Oh, if you keep referring to me as a young man,
you can call me whatever you'd like.
Within reason, of course,
I am a classically...
Oh, you know the joke.
Mm-hmm.
It's a good one, though.
So, today was fun, but kind of sad, huh?
The realization of what had happened,
I just hope that whatever happened to the folks here,
that they were together when it went down,
just so they didn't have to die alone.
Yes, that's all any of us could wish for at the end, isn't it?
I take it, that's not on the table for you right now, then?
I like you.
You're unapologetic in your curiosity,
and not pretentious like many of the new breed of e-celebs and influences I meet.
Thanks.
Honestly, I can't stand most of them.
Never quote me on that, though.
Collabs are lifeblood for YouTubers.
I got big on Vine,
and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces from that app shutting down,
a few months ago.
I heard about that.
Oh, it seemed to shame.
Maybe a replacement will come along one day.
Maybe.
I gotta think about now, though.
Hence the shift to YouTube.
And now the internship with Mags.
But hey, I see what you're doing, Mr.
Dodging the question.
Ha, ha, ha.
Investigative journalism is definitely in your future.
Ah, you're right.
I had someone once.
But, oh, well, the first time we had our shots, we were young, and we both screwed everything up.
And I thank God that we did every day.
Why is that?
Because if we'd stayed together, then someone who is incredibly dear to me wouldn't exist.
I see.
So then, many years later, we were in a situation where we could have rekindled our love.
Oh, we had rekindled our love even.
But then I got caught.
old feet, and I was certain I was making the right decision, and he told me I changed my mind,
and, oh, God damn it, I'm too stubborn and too proud to tell him that he was right.
I'm a foolish, foolish, old man.
And if you breathe a word of this to Magdalene, I'll ensure you never work in this town again.
Ha!
We're talking about Oliver de Silva, aren't we?
if you'd gotten together back when Magdalene would have never been conceived.
And I remember, he and Magdalene's mother divorced about a decade ago, right?
Oh, my.
Sometimes I forget that Hollywood types live their entire lives in the public eye.
You're a Hollywood type, and you managed to keep your privacy well enough.
Was, that's the key.
I chose irrelevancy at just the right time, before the digital age.
meant that anyone with a phone and a Twitter account could function as a paparazzo.
Pshu!
You're not irrelevant.
Your nature documentaries are timeless.
That, my dear, is thanks to the combination of the miracle of nature and the miracle of fantastic cinematography.
You know what?
It was the damnedest thing, actually.
Olivier and I, we're still great friends, of course.
I'm Magdalene's godfather, after all.
But just a fortnight ago, he sent me an email saying I shouldn't come here,
said he'd had a dream where he saw me standing with a group of people
that he somehow knew to be the missing Goldmeadow villagers.
Olivier has always been a drama queen,
but I was surprised that he'd allow a simple dream to jeopardize Magdalene's project.
I've been wondering whether I should mention it to her.
Maybe he warned her not to come either.
But then what if he didn't?
What if it was just me?
I might cause some furor between them.
Mm, that's a tough one, because...
Ah, no, no, don't worry about it.
Ignore me.
But anyway, I'm serious.
Please don't mention anything to Magdalene about any of this,
especially not how I still feel about Olivier.
At best, she'd worry that I'm unhavoured.
happy, and I'm really not most of the time. And at worst, she'd get some fool notion in her
head to try to patch things up between Olivier and myself. Oh, we're both far too old for a third
shot at romance. Hey, you're never too old for that. At least, that's what I choose to believe.
But speaking of Magdalene, it's past nine. Shouldn't her group be back by now? I'm a little concerned.
spoke to her just now on the Waukees. They should be back anytime now. Oh, holy crap, Jenny. Where did
you sneak up from? And when is what I'd like to know? Don't worry, Mr. Mercer. I'm a PA in Hollywood.
It's part of my job description to be very good at not overhearing things. It's also part of your
job description to report to Mags. True, true, but she's never instructed me to spy on her colleagues.
And speaking of not spying on people, I'm going to visit you. I'm going to visit.
it the little boy's room?
So, Cleo, how are you doing?
Are you enjoying working with five years later so far?
Oh, yeah, Miss Belmont.
It's been wonderful.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity.
Please, call me Jenny.
Oh, okay.
Please don't be offended, but I keep forgetting which of you is Jenny and which of you is
Penny, hence the formality.
Thursday, May 25th, 9.09 p.m. The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
How are you doing? Are you enjoying working with five years later so far?
Oh, yeah, Miss Belmont. It's been wonderful. I'm so grateful for the opportunity.
Please, call me Jenny.
Oh, okay. Please don't be offended, but I keep.
Forgeting which of you is Jenny and which of you is Penny, hence the formality.
This is far from the first time I've heard this.
Yeah, everyone mixes them up.
Magdalena, welcome back. You seem to be missing the rest of your group.
I could say the same for you.
Hey, Cleo.
Where's Uncle Mercy?
Garcia, Green, Penny, Ash, Victor.
Ash and Victor were with you, weren't they?
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they were.
They went off to...
Somewhere.
At some point.
Ash was carrying...
Oh, my gosh.
Zee was carrying a piglet.
It was so funny.
Say what now?
A piglet?
No, of course not.
It was a mushroom.
But it looked like a piglet.
It was so funny.
And then it popped.
Piglet go pop.
Magdalena, are you okay?
Am I okay?
I think so.
And Kent went to go get changed.
His pants got all dirty.
He said a tree tried to have sex with him, I forget.
That's the last we'll ever see of him.
Is she drunk?
I wouldn't have thought so.
She doesn't drink.
I can hear you both, you know.
I'm not drunk.
Just high on the beauty of Gold Meadow Forest.
And the heartbeat in the ground.
We found so much wonder and whimsy there.
A witch showed us.
And now I...
Now I have a headache.
I think I...
I think I need to sit down.
Whoops!
There we go.
Where's your backpack?
Um, um, I don't remember.
I think I left it in the woods when Kent and I...
Oh, God.
I left it in the woods, yeah.
Your water bottle was in your bag.
When did you last drink something?
You look dehydrated.
Here, take small, slow sips of this.
I need a good.
that. I had no idea how much I needed that. Slow down. Don't make yourself puke. Yeah, you're dehydrated.
Let me see your eyes. No, hang on. Where is everyone? I remember, we saw something in the woods,
something important. The blind mare in the pole? You radioed in about that quite a few hours ago.
No, not that. This was after. Me and Kent went off too.
to, well, we turned our cameras off and we were, we were being personal, you know?
And there was something in the woods.
I'm sure we saw something in the woods.
Something I had to tell you guys about.
Why do I keep thinking of a gingerbread house?
Where's Kent?
Maybe he remembers.
Where's Garcia?
Where's Uncle Mercy?
The following recording is taken from Forsyth Mercer's Bodycam.
Oh, my, look at me, pissing up against a tree like some dog.
I'm a classically trained actor.
As if most Hollywood actors don't make mutts look utterly civilized by comparison.
Oh, Forsyth, Mercer, you're an old fool.
And you should not have been subbing at that.
whiskey all evening.
Who?
What was that?
Anybody out there?
Show yourself.
Hello.
I can hear you out there.
No point in pretending now.
Oh, stop this.
It's not funny, and it's certainly not scary.
I've faced down a furious Dame Judy and lived to tell the tale.
A jump scare in the woods won't get me.
Good Lord.
Breen, this is you, isn't it?
You're the only one childish enough to do something like this.
Good, that's right.
You run, Breen.
You run far away.
I'm not Breen.
I'm not watching this footage.
Know that this old fool was the first of you to die.
But it won't be the last.
Mercy was one thing I did not show your beloved old uncle.
Nor shall I.
I show it to any of you.
Look into my eyes.
You know I speak.
The truth.
The goat has returned to Gold Meadow.
All the golden secrets will be unearthed.
Get ready for your last rights.
If you can hear me, if anyone can hear me,
tell him,
I'm sorry. Tell him. I love him. Tell him he was right. I never should have gone to gold, Meadow.
Tell him not to look at the goats in the high. There's not but evil reflected there.
That night, I think every one of us had weird dreams.
A number of times I awoke to different unidentified members of the team yelling out in their sleep.
It should have been an omen, a sign to get the hell out.
But, as should be very clear by now, none of us were thinking straight.
Well, most of us weren't.
The next day was even hotter and sunnier than day one.
I awoke early, as usual, and went for a run alone.
Being able to clear my head with brisk exercise has always been a great help to me.
I was gone for maybe three hours.
Then, when I returned, most everyone else had arisen.
Friday, May 26th, 1029 a.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
Morning, Jenny, Penny, Ash, Victor, Rick.
Morning, Magdalene.
Morning, morning, everybody.
No, hey, Cleo.
Didn't see you over by the vans.
Hey-ya.
God damn, I did not sleep well.
Those camping beds are worse than prison cots.
Trust me, I know.
And Kent wouldn't stop tossing and turning.
Oof.
My bones feel like I'm 60.
Oh, man, don't let Uncle Mercy hear me saying that.
Where's he got to?
I don't know.
Haven't seen him this morning.
morning. I believe he's still sleeping. He was hitting the whiskey pretty hard last night. Typical.
We had a good chat, though. He's a great guy. Hey, you and I haven't really talked, have we?
Nope. But I'm, um, familiar with your dad's movies. Oh, Lord, don't get him started. Familiar. That means
you hate them, right? Actually, I'm a huge fan. They're my guilty pleasure, but not actually.
guilty. I unironically love them.
Yeah, sure, sure. Rick Troll, the Rickmeister as usual.
Don't worry, I can take it.
Wait, you're not messing with me, are you?
Lull, Rick Troll.
No, dude. Rickory Breens. Like, hella popular with my generation.
Surely you know this.
Aren't you like sole owner of his estate?
I mean, his work makes a baffling amount of money.
Now, yeah.
But I thought that was just because a couple of people buy the DVDs to clown on them, you know?
Oh, Lameo DVDs, you really are a boomer, my Buddington, my Palo, my BFF.
I am not a boomer.
I was born in 88.
I don't know what that makes me, but I'm pretty sure it's.
It's not a boomer.
Hmm.
I'm not sure.
Let me just check on my phone.
Oh, God damn.
Connection slow this morning.
Oh, here we go.
Well, how damn?
Google says that makes you a boomer for sure.
Hmm.
It's odd.
I thought phones, they do not work.
Oh, my dude.
You blew my joke.
But Rick, yeah, for real.
I'm a first year, Gen Zier.
100 specific target audience.
Ash is just as young enough to hit the demographic, too.
Hey, with the Just.
I'm a little kid with a big attitude.
But yeah, man, we're part of team Breen across the board.
Neil Breen is our Tommy Wysow, but Rickery Breen is our Michael Bay.
Yeah.
And hey, Rick, you should come on my podcast someday when we're back home.
I think you'd make a great guess.
I record it all.
video and audio.
Then I released the audio on Spotify and iTunes on Thursday.
And on Friday nights, I release the whole thing on YouTube.
Wow.
I've never been invited onto a podcast before.
That'd be great.
Wait, what?
You're like legit famous for turning down interview requests.
Oh, look, it's goof on Rick Day again.
I never get interview requests.
Do I, Dre?
No.
Boo. So, hey, before we all get two carried away with the Rickory Breen Cinematic Universe,
let's get our behinds in gear for today.
Sups, I see you lurking over there, come grab some coffee to wake yourself up.
Oh, man, look at him fully stumbling and staggering over.
Isn't he so cute and adorable?
That's me.
Cute and so plurable.
Surprised he hasn't got his underwear on outside his pants.
One day, I'm going to go full spandex, just for you, Garcia.
Oh, hey, thanks for the coffee, Penny.
I needed that.
So, like, you've cosplayed a Superman before, right?
For Halloween or something, you must have, right?
Nope, believe it or not, I've never dressed up in costume.
Can confirm.
Not even in a bedroom situation.
So there we go.
The truth is out.
He's too vanilla to have us.
secret identity.
Ha ha ha ha.
Or maybe that's just what I want you to think.
Maybe I hide it from you because your feeble human mind couldn't take it.
Or maybe I already know.
Because I'm your Lex Luthor and I'm secretly working against you for nefarious purposes.
Because your total vanillaness drove me insane.
This is my villain origin story.
You haven't gotten anything close to the incredible experimental technology to pull off an evil master
plan. Oh, yeah? Well, what if I'm secretly backed by the most secretive and deadly of covert
ops departments of the U.S. government? What if I've got access to things that make MK. Ultra
look like MLP? Maybe I've got the keys to areas 51, 52, and 53. Garcia, there's absolutely
no way you own a single piece of futuristic technology. You won't even use a wireless mouse and
keyboard. Okay, I'm totally with him on that, though.
same, you.
See?
And bra, I own a Tesla.
But you'll be eating your words later, soup, my man.
Oh, way do you see what today has in store?
Absolute sci-fi scenes.
And speaking of, I got to go make a few satellite calls.
Check everything's in order.
Mags, you know the schedule.
Site A1, 90 minutes time.
Don't tell Kent what awaits him there,
no matter how much he begs.
Sure won't.
Peace, guys.
Lake Oralea was an hour's walk.
from the village square, and what we were doing there that day required a bunch of equipment.
So instead of walking, we piled into van one. Neither van had official off-road capabilities,
but with a wing and a prayer, we thought we'd hold across the relatively level terrain.
Phil the soldier had provided us with a map showing a feasible route to the lake.
Things got a bit dicey and overgrown in places, but we managed to make our way through with minimal
stops to clear the path. At one point, Kent, Rick, and Victor had to lift a large log off the path,
although it mostly involved Victor lifting it, and the other two acting like they were helping.
Penny and Jenny had stayed behind again, as had Mercer, or so we believed. Of course, really, he was
stone dead, but most of us didn't know that yet. Eventually, we arrived at Lake Arellia and myself,
Kent, Ash, Victor, Rick, and Cleo piled out of the van to meet Garcia, who waited on the lake shore with a familiar face, an M-1161 growler, and a 10-foot-tall crate sitting on a trailer. Oh, and a pontoon boat floating lazily on the surface of the water. Friday, May 26th, 1136 a.m. The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
Holy actual wow.
I did not expect to see modern technology out here.
Told you I had a surprise for you, huh?
Damn, this is incredible.
This is like a proper boat.
Yep.
God damn government themselves sending in for y'all special like.
But only because Daddy Phil pulled some strings.
Putting a good word, know what I'm saying?
Well, we appreciate it, Phil.
Whoa, Mama.
This is all military hardware?
Ex-military?
Officially.
We're a private security company, don't you know?
Definitely a private firm.
You are a private security company.
Definitely private. Got it.
Yep.
Y'all should listen to, sir.
If you're even entertaining any idea that we might just have a case of MPD,
then y'all need to put that notion to rest, you understand?
Multiple personality disorder.
Zee-hmm.
sure is a hoot. Now, military with plausible deniability. It's what they call groups that the
government obviously runs, but present all like they're a private military contractor.
Like us, but not like us. Wink, wank. Ah, so you're saying you're literally the government,
but you have to pretend not to be? Whoa, I ain't saying no such thing. I'm
I'm saying you definitely should not believe that's what...
Hang on, let me check my name, Batsy.
You were going to be called again.
It's okay, buddy.
I think they get it.
I mean, I get it, but I don't get it.
What's the purpose of this?
It's public knowledge that this is government land, right?
And that they hired you guys.
So why would it be a problem if people knew you were just soldiers or cops or whatever
you called it.
Because we ain't soldiers, or cops, or whatever you'd call it.
See, the government don't want to waste a goddamn Captain America, or John Wick,
or Dominic Torretto, standing guard at a site that mostly only a handful of online nerds
or folklore hippies try and get into each year.
Most of them, they take one look at my darling cherry and shit their goddamn britches.
Cherry?
This dirty little whore.
My baby.
My cherry popper.
One shot from my girl right to the noggin,
their cherries more and done pop.
Get it?
Well, sorry, I asked.
And you should be careful where you're aiming that.
Oh, what's the matter?
Is it a whittal YouTuber for a big bag gun?
Nope.
Just unsafe assholes carrying them.
You're rude.
That's what I mean, we ain't soldiers.
We're the kind of folk that fail basic training,
know what I'm saying?
Don't mind admitting it.
I'm not all okay up in the old noggin.
But someone tries busting in here.
I'm a fire once, and I ain't going to miss.
That's all they need.
But anyone get wind that foie like me are knowing and getting high by the government
instead of slipping through the cracks by way of PMC.
Then shit's going to hit the van reel where you're hard, you get me.
Like pop, pop, pop.
Phil, I swear to God, if you point that thing at me again.
You mean like this?
Pop.
No.
Fuck me.
You stop.
Wow, absolutely fuck you, man.
Holy piss potatoes.
Whoa, yeah, seriously, dude.
Not cool.
It's okay.
It's fine.
Some guys need to find a way to shoot their loon.
I like this Chloe chick.
Can we keep her mags?
Cleo.
God damn.
But, yeah, she just faced down the bow.
barrel of a gun for us. That's some impressive work for an intern.
Get all scared of my little cherry popper. Oh no, she's the best little girl.
Can you keep a handle on full metal crackhead over there, please?
That was a good one, even for you, Magdalene.
Thanks. I thought of it in the car.
But yes, you're right. I'll go have words. I don't want anything to ruin my exciting reveal.
I've got a feeling that things are really going to care.
off today.
Holy fucking shit.
And thanks, Phil.
There goes my exciting reveal.
Where on earth has Rick disappeared off to?
He should have stopped him.
Is that man good for not but digitally restoring vaguely exploitative B-movies?
Bit harsh.
For one thing, I imagine he bankrolled that wonderful specimen my boyfriend looks like he's about to make out with.
Probably the boat, too.
Speaking of, what is it? A space suit?
Better than that.
Come on over and I'll introduce you to the exosuit ADS.
It looks absolutely sick.
Gotta admit, you have absolutely outdone yourself here, Andrei Garcia.
Just wait till you see it up close. And the boat.
I'm honestly kind of jealous.
Kent's going to hog this thing all week.
I want to go.
Me too.
So will Rick.
So will Chloe.
or whatever.
So will Ash.
So will Ash.
Maybe Victor.
Hell, maybe Mercer.
Maybe Penny and Jenny.
Ah, well, even having one exosuit is cool.
Ah, one exosuit isn't cool.
You know what's cool?
You?
A billion dollars?
Two exosuits.
We just couldn't transport both into the valley at once.
You drove the pass.
No way a big truck or trailer's getting through there.
Best we got is what's on the back of the growler right now.
Phil and Rick are going to bring the other around later.
There's a big equipment shed outside the perimeter that the PMC use.
Our shit got delivered there.
Holy shit. How did you persuade Rick to buy two exosuits?
Ha, he didn't.
We persuaded the manufacturer to loan us the other for some sweet, sweet product placement.
So, if Goldmeadow has any secrets underwater, we're uncovering them.
Anyway, come on.
Hey, I'll catch up to you, okay?
Gotta go relieve myself.
And my bro Victor's going to keep watch just in case any blind mares come peaking.
Then we're going to grab a bit more forest footage.
Peace, friend.
See in a bit.
Don't get lost.
You too.
Friday, May 26th.
Time unknown.
The following recording is taken from spare one body cam.
Goat.
Goat.
Goat?
Goat?
Goat?
Goat?
Oh, jeez.
Raven.
Goat.
Wait, stop.
Did you hear something?
Is someone there?
No, God.
Witch.
Getting jumpy, I guess.
Must have been the wind.
Friday, May 26th.
12.12 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
Hello, L.D., you're a goof.
Why did you bring the boom mic?
Where I go?
It goes.
Oh, yeah?
It's your dirty little whore?
Your baby?
Your cherry popper?
No.
Pops are bad.
Very bad.
You know this, Ashton?
I'll pop a cap in your ass in a minute, Dr. Doom.
I tell you once and once more.
I do not understand this Dr. Doom name.
As soon as you join the modern world and learn to Google, then I'll...
Wait.
Stop, did you hear something?
Is someone there?
No answer.
Sure I heard someone.
Fake out time?
Fake out time.
Just getting jumpy, I guess.
That's the Reven pole clearing up ahead.
I'm certain of it.
The blind mirror should be there.
Oh, God.
It better not have come to life.
I am sure it's just a costume, Ashton.
You're no fun.
Anyway, jump in on three.
Ja.
One.
Two.
Fuck it, just jump in and yell and surprise them.
Got you, cheap creeper!
Popped his bummed, you cherry doctor!
Kind of actual blistering, cursed cluster fuckery are we looking at?
It is like the Superman said.
These trees, they are bleeding mushrooms.
And I smell like death.
The recording you are about to experience next
is the first of two recordings pieced together from files
that were extracted from an external hard drive belonging to Magdalene De Silva.
When viewed on a network, the drive has the device name of
Weird underscore Ass underscore Feed underscore backups.
It contains over 2 terabytes of raw footage from multiple sources,
shot in multiple locations, spanning multiple projects across five years later pictures lifespan.
The purpose of this hard drive was to serve as a real-time duplication server
to back up any footage captured using third-party equipment or live-stream methods.
In this instance, the hard drive was used to archive the live feed from a camera that had been
built into the exosuit atmospheric diving system, allowing those of us in the pontoon to see
whatever the diver saw. For this footage, the suits operator was Kent Clarkson, one of only three of us
that had the necessary training to operate an atmospheric diving system, and by far,
the most experienced diver present.
The hard drive also contained an archive of the audio live feed between Kent Clarkson,
Magdalene De Silva, and André Garcia.
Similar to the video, the source of the audio is a communication system that had been built
into the exosuit.
We apologize to the vast majority of people who will be experiencing this scene as audio only.
Should a situation arise in which it becomes necessary for us to,
To release the video, this scene is a particularly lurid and revealing piece of cinema.
We can but dream.
Heck on an avocado.
I'm down here less than ten seconds, and I can already tell this as one of those before and after moments.
Over?
Oh, that's sweet, Garcia.
And I somehow mean that.
But yeah, don't worry.
You know, safety's my number one person.
priority. It's usually me hassling you about this. Over.
No worries, pal. I just have a feeling you in a church that's an underwater...
Yep. Just enjoying you two arguing like an old married couple.
Sometimes I actually wonder if you'd go well together.
Alas, our darling Magdalene is not my type. Which of course we must keep secret at all costs.
On pain of death do us part. Yeah, yeah, we know.
How you feeling down there, Kent?
Like we're going over, Kill.
This thing's a powerhouse.
I've got two days of oxygen, and my hands are pneumatic claws.
But God damn, is this fun?
Can you see Gold Meadow?
Huh?
I mean, I can't see the church, if that's what you're asking.
But that's almost all the way across in the bayou near the river falls, right?
Visibility isn't that good.
You guys can see what I see through the feed anyway, right?
Equipment check?
Yes, it's all dead.
Sure, but...
Sure, but...
No, sorry, there's no lost gold medal obelis covered with...
...mettoe obelisk over there.
This absolutely is a gold medal obelisk.
And there's something on it.
How much time do we have left?
None officially tests up, but...
This thing has a rear cam, right?
There's uh...
There's nothing behind me, right?
You're not being stopped.
Okay.
I'm, uh, at the monument.
It's covered in lake weed.
Kind of hard to get off with these claws.
Hang on.
Whoa.
It says,
There is splendid village.
This is one of the five pillars.
Let me give it a shove.
Don't worry.
This thing's in tight.
This is definitely where it's been for decades.
I can see it's been cemented into the ground even.
Surface, so we can discuss this.
Wait, hang on.
I've got the lights on the lowest visibility.
No wonder we can't see much.
Hold.
I think I can improve the quality a lot more.
There's...
You're both seeing this, right?
Meadows down here.
The village of Gold Meadow is down here.
Friday, May 26th, 123 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
The trees really do look like they're bleeding now.
Holy shit.
It's basically all of them.
And holy shit, this whole fucking clearing stinks.
And holy shit.
How did so many puff balls pop up overnight?
Nature.
She is red in tooth and claw.
Huh.
Looking at the puff balls, more like a pinkish purple.
Whoa, let's maybe keep away from them.
Guess I should radio back, huh?
No.
I do not think we should go to S-site Mark A-1 on the maps.
No, jet.
I think we need a base first.
Base we can guard.
Just us in case.
Like when we were on Poveglia one year ago.
Wait, you think we've got a Poveglia situation on our hands?
Maybe.
I believe it would be very possible.
Why?
Give me one single reason why you suspect we're in the middle of a dangerous setup.
The burrow?
The donkey.
The donkey.
Okay.
There literally is not a donkey anywhere even remotely nearby.
I forget the word.
A sightless horse.
Oh, the blind mare?
Oh, crap.
Yeah, where is it?
That is what I would want to know.
Oh, shit, you're right.
And there's the mannequin just tossed on the ground.
So someone's taken the blind mirror costume?
In the first place.
What?
Some dude from the 60s is still lurking around?
Oh.
Someone put the sightless horse suit here yesterday.
The before, maybe.
Huh?
What?
No, no, no.
This place has been untouched for 50 years.
It was...
You are all losing minds, maybe.
Like you are on the drugs
That costume
Not sat in forest for 50 years
Not even a week
Even fabric was new I think
You see
Dangerous setup
That Povellia
That holy shit that's super obvious now
Literally how didn't anyone see that yesterday
How didn't I see it?
I saw
But I wanted to be
Why I wanted to return
It is gone
further this is not all.
Much footage is missing.
Maybe never filmed.
Some equipment.
Okay, I'm with you so far, but why are you certain that things are going to get dangerous?
They did tell us up front that the chances of this really being an investigative docker slim.
Like, yeah, this area got closed down, but they've got to have investigated what happened pretty thoroughly.
Mysteries like this didn't just get left unsolved in the 1960s.
I'm sure the government's got some good idea of what happened.
Hell, they've probably even got proof.
I mean, okay, snap, get this right?
They've probably planted it for us to find.
It's probably like the villagers
committed mass suicide, Jones Town style,
or they got trapped in a cave-in,
so it's going to be something tragic,
that's tear-jurking,
and it's going to be way more powerful
if it gets discovered by a film crew.
Hmm.
Cinesism is good, Jess.
All of this, I thought so too,
before.
Oh, snap, so get this.
Look at who we have on the team.
We've got Forsyth Mercer,
who literally everyone in the entire goddamn
world loves, because how can you dislike a guy who spent 30 years teaching us about animals and nature,
while also promoting conservation efforts? It'd be like hating Mr. Rogers. It's impossible.
I understand it.
Then we've got Andre Garcia, the mysterious and attractive director, who stays off social media
and has a perfectly cultivated image to tick all the boxes for the youth of today.
And everyone freaking loved she often eats artichokes. And for real, rioted when he didn't win
best director.
Yes, but...
And then there's Magdalene De Silva, beloved actress as a child.
beloved actress as a teen, and now beloved presenter as an adult.
Plus, Cleo, she's usually popular with kids and teens on YouTube, and Rick Breen.
Okay, nobody really knows crap about him as a person,
but his movies are undergoing the biggest resurgence I've ever seen in cult horror cinema.
Fuck, all these people are an obviously sensible team,
but they're also perfectly chosen so that whatever they find here
is going to be regarded by the widest possible audience.
And then the government are going to flip or redevelop the land.
God damn it!
We've signed up for a marketing puff piece.
Perfect timing.
All of this, it does make sense.
And maybe this is how we did start.
But there is something else now.
Something very malo.
Something very bad.
Huh?
What?
You're starting to sound like some of those targeted individual people we interviewed.
I am serious.
Last night, I do not sleep.
I watch.
I see people back and forth in the forest.
Dude, how did you stay up? I slept so deep. I don't even remember dreaming.
I think most did. Magdalena, she slept by the bonfire. Could not wake her. Can't return later.
Help me carry her inside. Does not remember it today.
This is wild. So what? Did you just like sit outside the whole night, awake and alert?
Most of the time, Cleopatra, she did a walking sleep in bedroom robe.
Outside, 3 a.m.
First, she is talking to no one about injection.
I speak to her, ask if she's okay.
She's looking up at the night.
She says she is fine, or scared of disappointing a director.
I say, Cleopatra, you are young, and we'll make some mistakes.
All will understand and none will be disappointed.
And she says more.
After all, she's not replying to me, but talking to the sky.
Sounds like she is begging.
As the director not to come out from behind the stars.
Turns around.
Looks at me.
Sees me, but also does not see me.
I know this.
Very strange.
Unsettling goes back inside.
How do you know she saw you but didn't see you?
This woman.
She's very shy all of the time.
She hides in bathrooms when you share in motels before this week, huh?
Do you tell me that it is same as teenage Ashton?
Do you recollect, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
She'd duck into our shared bathroom for everything, even just to change a shirt over a vest.
Garcia visited our room.
I think the Airbnb and soda, though.
And she was only wearing her robe and pajamas and was chill with that.
So I think she's only underwear shy?
She probably did see you and was just dopey or tired.
Maybe.
Ashton, you are doing this thing that you do again.
Being pointlessly contrarian simply so I don't have to admit that something creepy or bad is going on.
Yes, that is the thing.
Because you see, Cleopatra looks at me and her face responds and she does a standard smile.
But her robe is open.
Do you understand?
Okay, but that...
It is just a robe that is open.
I feel very bad.
Immediately, I shield us.
She does not react.
And today she is making eye contact without concern.
Oh, shit, shit.
Yeah, okay, this is hella weird.
Hey, good on you for not staring at a naked sleepwalking chick.
You're pretty much the only straight guy I know who I'd actually believe when he said that.
Thank you.
I do not wish to linger further upon it.
So I am worried for her where she might go.
So I go inside.
But see, she's moved to her.
her room closes the door.
So I walk down corridor to check.
I see these women, the clipboards, they are asleep wearing clothes in one room, hanging off
bed sideways.
Door open.
I watch that they breathe.
Then one flinches, punches the air, whimpers, mother says she might help a boy in a creek.
Then she cries.
I closed door.
Next, English uncle.
Closed.
No sons at all.
No snores.
Sleep like dead.
Then,
pale red hair man,
he is whimpering as he sleep.
He is afraid of a bean,
Dad.
Wait, what the crap is a bean, dad?
Hmm.
Maybe you understand if it is
a papa.
Daddy.
Yeah, daddy.
A Hickory Bean Daddy.
Yes, that is all of what I hear.
I do not want to spy to understand, you see.
Oh, Rikori Breen, his dad.
I guess Ricker has nightmares about him.
By all accounts, his old man was a freaking weird guy, so that tracks.
Perhaps.
So you understand, Ashton, yes?
Everyone is sleeping so deathly, so deep, but nightmares persist.
One is so nambulous.
Even you. You are having nightmares. You call out. Say things I know. Some things, both of our nightmares. You know, I even tried to call you. Stop them.
You tried to wake me? Holy shit. How did I sleep through that? I'm like the lightest sleeper since that one princess with a pee up her ass.
I did not think you watch this kind of videos.
You asshole. But I get what you're saying. Yeah, everyone was weirdly knocked out. So what? Were we?
on the drugs, in the water bottles maybe?
Which we've been drinking all day today, too.
Great.
Mm, yes.
Drug, I think.
Not in the water.
I think perhaps it was from...
Wait!
The goddamn opium field!
We walked through a goddamn opium field, Vic!
That...
That...
That...
It doesn't explain anything.
Yeah.
Doesn't work like that.
I remember when we filmed at one dock,
we'd have had to stay in the field.
dealed for a while, right?
Yep.
And we weren't there for long, and we just walked around the outside.
We'd need to, like, frolic through the poppies, really, I think.
And, and, and, and it sounded like everyone was having nightmares, right?
Yeah, we were all dealing with night terrors.
Bean Dad, men behind the stairs, what have you.
Opium dreams are usually chill.
I mean, any dream can be scary, but everyone having nightmares, that's more ketamine or fentanyl,
or...
Mass hysteria or psychosis or something.
Which drug can you give a whole group of people to ensure they all have nightmares?
What kind of sick I would even want to do that?
And why?
Perhaps this is not a situation of give to people.
What if Ashdan?
There is an infection.
Frick me!
Did you see anything?
I think.
Was it?
The spaceman diver.
Yeah.
The diving suit they were taking underwater,
but in the middle of the goddamn forest,
walking around.
I think it is up to us to follow in.
Fuck, damn it, fine.
But if we get our asses kicked by,
a spaceman? I'm blaming you.
Friday, May 26th, time unknown.
The following recording is taken from Spare 2 BodyCam.
Those words, shut actually up.
I have a...
Oh, fucking headache.
This happens when I fall asleep in a time when it's day.
I fell asleep.
Anyway, I think.
Oh, what did you do, Jennifer, Jenny?
Jennifer Jenny, assistant Magdalene and the Silver?
Where are she?
Last thing I remember, we were together,
and Jenny was in cards off the doors.
I didn't remember which room belongs to which of you assholes now.
Jenny?
You in here?
Hello?
Hello?
Where are they?
Mercer?
Hello?
Hi there.
Probably run away.
But I have to head off.
That you?
You awake?
Thought I heard a ruckus in there.
Yes, tis I.
I'm coming out.
Okay.
Christ, after we got that call from Mags, I was rush
so much that I slammed one of the camping stoves against the side of the van.
Stoves fine, but the van's dened.
Look, do you think Magdalena's going to scream at me?
God damn, I wish you'd done it.
Then it'd be Andre who deals with it, and he never gets mad.
I don't want him to think I'm a klutz either.
Still think I've got a chance with him.
So, can you pretend you did it?
I will absolutely tell Garcia that I did it.
Wait, who's it?
It's only fair that I take responsibility, and I've definitely made the dent much worse.
Well, no point crying over spilled milkshakes.
I'm sure we can afford another van.
But hey, Jenny, Penny, Mercer, we'd better get our asses in gear.
They're expecting us at the lake.
Everyone pile into the van.
No.
I guess it's on me to get everyone aboard again.
Friday, May 26th, 202 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
Dix on a fucking biscuit.
Why isn't a single person responding?
Did we even test these walkies?
Do they actually even work?
Yeah, we tested them.
Max, it's okay.
You seem very on average.
edge today.
And you seem unreasonably calm.
Chipper, almost.
You're usually the one walking around, acting like your Lars von Trier.
Wow.
I know I can be a bit much at times, but come on, I never behaved like Lars von Trier.
Don't even make movies that are close to being like his.
Well, maybe you should.
Maybe we should do it now.
I'll unretire from acting.
We'll make a cult classic.
Fuck, if Rickory Breen can make one where he played almost
every single character himself, then we can make one while we're on a boat waiting for the rest of
our goddamn team to bother to pay attention to us. Come on, Andre, get the camera out. Let's make this
kind of art house movie. Uh, so do you want to go for the five-hour running time thing, or the
graphic genital mutilation, on-screen simulated sex, or...
Man, I've never even seen a Lars Montreier film. No idea what they're like. I'm just
fucking angry, dude.
Like, angrier than I've ever been.
I can tell.
But why?
We've just found a massive clue.
Once we get down there and explore,
I thought we'll find all the answers we're looking for.
Honestly?
I don't know.
Yesterday, it was like my brain was being massaged by God.
And today, it's like it's being scratched by the devil.
I hate the rest of them for leaving us.
The van's still here.
Where did they even go?
Ash and Victor, no idea.
Penny, Jenny, and Mercer, they're probably not hearing their radios.
They all seem pretty wasted last night.
Okay, but Cleo?
Rick?
Your creepy soldier boy?
And Kent?
Where's Kent?
I want my Kent.
Do you really not remember?
If I remembered, then I would say so, wouldn't I?
Phil and Rick went off to get the other exosuit.
They're giving Kent a ride to go check on the others.
Cleo went for a walk.
Whatever.
And I'm mad at you, too.
But I can't remember why.
Okay, something's definitely wrong.
You're behaving like a lunatic.
Fair.
I guess I'm just scared of the diving suit.
Huh? Why?
I mean, look at it.
Just standing there, staring at us with its cold, dead eyes.
It's lying in the trailer.
It's not hurting you or a little.
anyone. Oh my God. Stop gaslighting me. You always gaslight me. Not that one. I obviously don't mean that one.
I mean the one over there, on the other side of the lake. The one that's waving to us?
What the hell are you... Oh my God. Rick! You asshole! That's the loner. He and Phil must have retrieved it,
and Rick decided to wear the goddamn thing.
If they go in the water with it, I swear to God.
Sounds more like something Phil would do.
No, Phil's sensible.
Anyway, it's still waving.
It can obviously see...
Wait, is that Victor behind it?
My eyesight isn't great, but...
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
Yep, and there's ash.
Oh, God.
Look!
Is that the goddamn blind mare on the other side?
Why has someone moved the costume here?
I don't think that's just the costume, Max.
What do you mean?
It's, ow, it's shining something at us.
Fuck.
Mags, get down now.
Why?
What's...
Damn it!
Friday, May 26th, 149 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Rick Breen's body cam.
Been a while since I got to let loose like this.
We got a whole dune bucket Grand Prix.
going on a mission in the battle last year.
Oh, that sounds awesome.
This is awesome.
Why don't I do things like this more often?
I don't know, bro.
Could civilians get a growler?
You don't need to be U.S. military to get pussy, bro.
But it helps.
Huh?
I...
Oh, I get it.
Growler, yeah.
You're serious, though?
Nah, you civvies can't get these.
Officially.
Not yet, anyway.
Maybe in a couple years, huh?
But, you know, unofficially, military shit goes missing all the time.
How do you think we got our hands on this little sweetheart?
Sure, but you guys are technically military, right?
It's easier to pass it on to you.
Oh, uh, sure, yeah.
But there ain't going to be a paper trail, remember?
Slip it to a PMC, slip into a white ginger kid with more money than sense.
What's the difference, you know what I'm saying?
Sure.
I guess mine wouldn't come with the mounted M240, though.
Bit harder to justify selling a machine gun to a white ginger kid, huh?
But man, she's a beauty, huh?
Yeah, yeah, bro. Nice, nice.
Garcia said you was a man of Tase.
Oh, sure.
So, man, that was wild at the village yesterday.
Well, the lake.
At first I thought it was a setup.
Figured at least Drey would have known, but nope.
No way. His reaction was genuine.
You one of them fellas are real good of reading people then, huh?
What's it? A psycho-anelsis?
Only anal-sys I like is taking my girlfriend's sister from behind.
Gotta be your sister, though.
Any chick dirty enough to be into that, it ain't wife and material.
I wouldn't say I'm especially good at seeing people's hidden sides in general, no.
Not unless they're really bad at hiding them anyway.
But me and Dre, we've been as close as brothers since the first day we were assigned a room together at college.
That man can't keep anything from me, even if he might think he has.
I feel you, I feel you.
I think I'm starting to get a sense for what you're saying.
I think I'm starting to get a sense for what you're saying, too.
Glad we're on the same page, brother.
So if Dre didn't know about the flooded village, then I take it you didn't either?
Nope.
Honest truth.
I never ventured down to the village itself.
Well, where I thought it was.
Place always had me spooked out.
Just the thought of the empty buildings.
First time I even went inside the lodge was to help out making sure you Hollywood pussies had a clean place to sleep.
And that was only because she bullied me into it.
She?
Joni.
She's the only one real brave enough to come down here alone.
Joni?
My partner.
Like, uh, work partner.
I mean. Only person sharp enough to beat me at chess and target shooting came down here a bunch.
Says she liked the solitude.
Wonder why Joni never mentioned the missing village.
Hell, maybe she did.
Johnny was always on conspiracy shit.
Hey, maybe that's why we decided to flood the village, because the only map out there already said the lake was on that side.
Maybe they were going to fill the real lake and it was going to build a whole fake-ass village
so folklore fuckers and conspiracy cuns could shoot.
their loads over messages from beyond that they get from the migratory patterns of all
goddamn songbirds in this valley.
Augers, that shit.
Or maybe some CBW shit like they used to do.
All the birds around here, they're bluebirds, aren't they?
I thought these fuckers were, was on the decline in Ohio.
Joni, she's from here and she did all this conservation bullshit.
Always saying, Phil, just do me a solid.
You ever meet the right guy, ask him about bluebirds?
Ask him what a bluebird's favorite vegetable is.
If he knows, then you can trust him.
A bluebird's favorite vegetable?
What the...
Wait.
Wait, artichoke.
It's an artichoke.
Oh, snap.
Okay.
God damn Garcia.
Never get a straight answer out of that boy.
You and I, we should talk more when we're out of here.
But yeah, man.
Joni's a mystery.
She should have been with y'all this whole weekend
But she always got her own thing going on
Didn't even radio between Monday and today
Probably high or some
Some shit
Shame
Think she'd get on well with y'all
Ash and Victor especially
And you actually
Well we haven't seen her
You've never mentioned her before now
Until bringing me out into the middle of nowhere
And you know what
You know, you sure do remember all our names pretty well for one of the most over-the-top hick jarheads in existence.
Oh, wait, you seem to have forgotten about that part, though.
But you are, or at least were, lifted straight out of full metal jacket.
Funny, that.
And yet, didn't I hear you using Ashes' preferred pronouns earlier?
Z, Zer, without a single quip or sneer.
Oh, and without anyone ever once telling you Ash's preferred pronouns.
Hey, bud, I, I fuck it.
Listen, I think...
God damn!
What the fuck is that?
Is that the goddamn exosuit?
We left it in the crate!
Oh, it ain't nothing.
I took it out of the cranes.
and moved it when you was off pissing, bro.
Chill, it's...
Oh, fuck.
Joni, for goodness sake, why are you waving to me, man?
That woman is on another planet.
Listen, I'm sorry.
I really am.
It's just...
Why are you waving back?
Who are you talking about?
Is that really where Garcia asked us to deliver the exosuit?
What's going on?
Okay, listen.
It's Joni.
She promised to have it back in a few hours.
She needed it to handle something.
Trust me.
Please.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure your mysterious colleague is going to handle things, all right.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for your bat-shit performance, too.
I mean, yeah?
Yeah, there is.
I was surprised you didn't know.
But, man, I think we can work together.
Just scrub all this footage, pretend it never happened.
You seem pretty clued in on things, and you know Garcia real well.
I can tell he genuinely trusts you.
I'm willing to clue you in, and then we'll handle Garcia together.
I'll take responsibility.
I had no idea you didn't know what was going on.
Oh, I know exactly what's going on.
Whoa.
Rick, now, come on, you don't want to do that.
You really don't!
Friday, May 26, 2.19 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
Heck on a hot dog.
Spaceman.
shootings, huge purple mushrooms, what's next?
Kunji pits and poisoned arp, rabid wolves, aliens?
Maybe all.
I'm pretty sure our radios are screwed.
I just cannot get through.
This is fine with me.
I understand.
Building ahead, though, do you see?
Crap, what is it?
Oh, God damn it.
It looks like the hut from Blair Witch.
Oh, hell no.
Blair witches are not real, Ashton.
But aliens are?
I believe.
Well, screw you, buddy.
Witches are real.
They might not be evil, but they exist.
They're just good women who offend society.
Ever heard of the Salem Witch Trials?
The finishing blow of my goddamn master's degree
was a goddamn documentary about the witch trials, Buddington.
You are doing the thing where sometimes with Jew is impossible to win.
You said Blair Witches, evil.
True, but then, divers in exosuits usually aren't scary either.
But then I guess that diver didn't really do anything to us.
It was just walking around the forest and then waving...
Fuck it.
Let's get off the floor and check out the guy.
goddamn witch's house. Be careful, though. And be quiet. Don't just go blundering in like usual.
Hello? Hey, anyone home?
God damn, it is a witch's hut. But with test tubes and chemicals and stuff, instead of herbs and talismans and chickens feed and skulls and...
Oh, nope, wait, there's a skull. Thankfully, it's just a deer.
Even better, there are porch seats.
Oh, hell, I don't care if we're in mortal danger. I'm taking a seat.
It's a good vantage point
But nobody can sneak up on us
I don't suppose there's any chance he brought
Thelma Dean or Jason is there
I know the rule said no
You must not bring any weapons
The only weapon reallowed on site is the approved and licensed
FLYP kit stored in van number one
Oh sweet Thelma the revolver
And Dean the shotgun ride again
Did you get a look at the licensed kit
Yes
Two hunting knives to machetes
One pistol one shotgun one rifle
Most of this was still in packaging, untested, unjust, juiceless.
The Superman, he is amateur with the weapons.
Hey, why is it Kent's fault?
I overhear.
On Sunday, when we did leave Arizona, himself and Magdalena, she talks about the armory
as his responsibility and that it is feeble.
Then teases Kent, it is a bit of it.
flirting, I think. So I approach as to see machetes or O'C factory handles. So I showed Jason to Kent.
Explain Paracord handle wrap. Then Rick Breen, he appears, says I am needed by the boss,
takes Jason, puts him in van, says he will help Kent fix handles. Something like that, he's been
developing much knowledge and skill with knives and swords during the time Kent and Magdalena were having intercourse.
It was very strange exchange.
I cannot believe Rick Green stole my machete and that I had to think about M. F.R. at all right now.
Oh, well, it's either him, spacemen, goats, or witches, I guess.
To me, it is Las Brujas, the witches we should think of.
Usually, they are merely victims of a patriarchal society or bread.
Victims of bread?
Hang on.
Hang the hot pocket on.
I know what this is.
Ergo poisoning from the infected bread, right?
This was the major theory as to what really caused the bewitchment that the folks of Salem were terrified of.
And they wouldn't have had a clue back then.
So hear me out.
My mind's firing on all cylinders right now.
Gold Meadow had those magic fields and the orchard.
Yeah, we saw it all, the wild poppies.
But the other two fields were hard and dried up.
And what does the unofficial gold guide 65 say?
They grew rye there.
Man who gives a crap about rye, but you know what one of the risks of growing rye is?
Fungal infection, specifically the ergo fungus.
Purple mushroom, purple mushroom, like the goddamn puffballs, just, you know, tiny and not massive.
All of this I cannot argue with.
All of this I have suspected.
No, you have not.
Come on. How?
Because.
Why would this town be wasting the space of their magic fields for rye
when all their other crops and food are grown elsewhere?
Why rye?
Rye is no special.
What if the rye was not a thing to benefit from their potent soil?
What if it was Ergot they were farming?
And why would they farm Ergot, Victor?
Tell this to me now, Mr. Mann.
Tell it to me.
and then an excited voice before I can tell it to you, you would say...
They were farming infected rye to extract magically potent ergo-like alkaloids to study and synthesize into extremely opi-licergic acid.
Ha!
Still beat you, but yeah, it's the only thing that makes sense.
No good reason to farm ergo itself.
It's okay.
Already I was exhausted.
But yes, that is what I think.
The crombie mayor was dealing with super-powered LSD.
Yep, but holy shit that sounds awful.
We've both dropped acid.
We know that shit can hit hard.
Like, yeah, it can be cool, but...
Why would you want a tab that was guaranteed to fuck you up beyond all possible comprehension?
There is no way that could be enjoyable.
It'd be like intentionally giving yourself paranoid schizophrenia.
And sure, Gold Meadow was private and secretive, but they weren't dated.
People came and went.
I think we'd know if the whole town was off their head on an unbelievably dangerous psychoactive substance.
Jess, I do not.
I do not think it was for them?
Man, this is a mystery.
I mean, I know it was the 60s, and everyone was getting high as crap,
but who would possibly want a steady supply of LSD that would legitimately decimate your brain?
Why would anyone...
It is dawning on you, perhaps?
Yeah, it's freaking dawning on me, all right, and if it is what I think it is.
And now I think of it, there are a lot of clues pointing to this,
and one major plot hole with a majorly terrifying answer.
Well, let's just say, I feel a lot better.
armed. And there's pretty much no chance of the spaceman or anyone else getting the drop on us,
unless they somehow sneak up behind us from this tiny hut with zero hiding spots.
Honestly, I'm not even mad. I pretty much just dared the universe to make me look like an idiot,
and the universe replied with a challenge accepted. Friday, May 26th, 3.48 p.m. The following recording
is taken from Magdalene de Silva's body cam. I was in the boat, and...
Then underwater.
Oh, God.
My head feels so fuzzy.
What time is it?
Hey, hey, you're awake.
Kent, I...
What happened?
Someone freaking shot your boat and sank it?
Yeah, shouldn't we be extremely worried about an active sniper?
You've been out in the open for two hours, unconscious.
Nothing's happened since then.
Honestly, my guess is it was that fill jackass trying to show off to Rick and scare you.
And his aim's so shitty that he shot the boat.
Then I guess he's either ashamed, embarrassed, or mortified, so he's been laying low.
When they left, Rick was begging the guy to show off some of the weapons he had in the growler.
I guess...
I guess that makes sense?
Sure.
What happened after we sank?
I guess you've managed to swim to shore and pass out?
Christ, I feel more like I've been drugged.
Shit, where's Garcia?
No, he's fine.
He's over there napping.
Thank God I'm mostly dried out.
I feel like garbage.
Sorry, babe.
And hey, I know it's not the time, but did Garcia say anything about the village being underwater?
He must have known something was up.
His group went to the supposed side of the village yesterday.
It's pretty obvious we're in danger.
I'm trying to work out how everything connects.
He didn't say anything, no.
But he must have known.
And Rick, Mercer and Cleo.
So, wait.
Mags, come on.
You knew as well?
Why?
Kent, honey, I'm sorry.
All of us found out yesterday, after Garcia and the rest went to the site.
Fit Lake Oralia's description perfectly.
So this morning he got up early for one of his usual runs
and thought he'd check out to confirm that the village was here instead.
It wasn't, so the most likely solution was flooding.
He told me about it, and it was my idea not to tell you.
I thought you'd find it goofy and cool.
I didn't know if things were going to start getting fucked up.
So, yeah, we all knew.
But you were the one who was going to be down there, right?
The one who could pilot the ADS.
And honey, you're not an actor.
Why do I need to be?
This is a historical documentary, not the next movie in the MCU.
I mean, sure, but we all talked about this.
We knew it was going to be a tear-jurker puff piece to remind people of the tragedy and drum up interest in the site.
Like Garcia said, the state government likely wanted develop housing on the land or turn it into a historical site, or Christ, I don't know, sell it to Disney.
Place has been quarantined for 50 years, and they obviously don't want to say why.
Based on the era the folk disappeared in and the wild opium field with seeds that had to come from somewhere,
I can make a pretty good guess as to what was going on back then.
This documentary needs to sell the site to people,
a balance of mystery and tragedy.
Okay.
So I'm following.
I guess I can't be mad.
My reaction was priceless.
But what does it actually mean?
How was the village on the opposite side?
I can handle this one.
After scouting this side, I've worked out the only answer that makes sense.
Now look, the prodigal director awakes.
Yes.
Well, listen, the only map of gold medal that amateur anthropologists and folklore detectives have had as a resource
from the Bible, that is an unofficial gold guide, 65, is horizontally flipped.
The whole site is mirrored.
We've been visualizing it all wrong for 50 years, thanks to an over-eager hippies Xeroxing error.
Yep, he showed me the math, and I agree.
Hang on, let me grab the book from the van real quick.
Nah, doesn't matter right now.
I'll believe you.
The only thing I still don't understand is why.
Why did the village get flooded?
Honestly, it probably happened naturally during the 50 years of quarantine.
That's what I think.
Look at the shape of this new lake.
The whole town disappeared, though.
Maybe it was the villagers themselves who flooded it.
Maybe.
Or maybe it was the government.
They quarantined it after all.
Hell, maybe they did kill the villagers.
Maybe they're all down there, and the government covered it up.
Maybe we actually are going to pull off an expose.
Yeah, but if the government actually did bad shit here,
why would they hand us the keys to the kingdom?
Maybe.
It got covered up years ago,
so nobody in the government these days even knows.
I mean, a whole bunch of CIA experiments were exposed
in the 60s and 70s.
There has to be plenty more we never found about,
because they scrubbed all the records of them.
You're starting to sound like Rick,
with his Mario Kart conspiracy shit or whatever it's called.
I suppose.
There's definitely something suss about those blue shells.
Friday, May 26th, 304 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Victor Spinoza's body cam.
This has blown my mind.
I feel like I'm living in the X-Files.
You kind of are, I guess, but my mind's blown too.
And only partly because I've been inhaling puffball fumes for three days straight.
You pair of work displays out quicker than I did,
and I have a degree in freaking biochemistry and botany.
Sure.
Yeah, sometimes my mind wanders in the best ways.
I stop taking things seriously when I'm nervous.
I also start hyper-focusing.
Oh, and talking obsessively about my favorite sense.
subjects. Oh, and making totally obscure references and jokes that only someone with my exact
brain will understand. You know what? In senior year, this one kid, Jimmy Sol, he had a crush on
me and I turned him down, but I can't decide if this was meant to be an insult or compliment, because
I found a compliment. Anyway, so Jimmy Sol said to me, Ash, if you were a character in a movie,
you would have to be the writer's self-insert because there's no possible way that someone like you
would be intentionally created to fill a role in a story. You're far too inexplicable and
irrational and incoherent and pointless. You can't even play the role of a manic pixie dream girl because
you're not BTF.
Wow. Wow. I haven't thought about this in years, but now that I've said that back in its entirety, that's verbatim, by the way, it's super massively obvious that it was intended as an insult, huh?
Dude was salty as fuck that I wouldn't let him put his thing in me, I bet.
Ash, you are doing the thing again. You are doing all of the things. You are doing the things worse than you ever have done them, ever.
I know, I know. It's because I'm more scared than I've ever been.
Ash.
Hey, hey, it's okay. You're doing great. I'm sorry I haven't been able to help you more.
Well, I'm glad I didn't shoot you, Joanne.
Please. Call me Joanie. At least Joanne is better than spaceman diver, I guess.
Yeah, so, uh, why were you wearing a spaceman diver suit and lurking down a trapdoor?
Okay, so this is going to be a lot to take in. I already told you that you were correct about the ergot fungus.
and explained that over the years, various crombie mares at Goldmeadow have been supplying this,
along with supermodified stricine, carari, opium, brucine, scopolamine, all sorts.
The soil here is really different like they claim.
Far better than people know even.
The why comes later.
Following so far?
I call the Clevekeps Papuria throat crushers,
because if they're most dangerous, they can cause your throat to close up.
Um, we've been inhaling them, kind of all day.
should we be worried?
No.
You see, I'm saving the world.
Impressive?
Yeah, let me explain.
I synthesized a compound that mimics nitroglycerin and sodium nitropresside,
tailored on a molecular level to attack and nullify the throat crushions
to the best of my ability with what I've got to work with.
That means they screw with your head, but don't make you dead.
I've been able to feed this into the fungi's very essence,
using its own ability for aggressive contamination against it.
In short, I've infected the infection.
You're right. I absolutely don't understand advanced biochemistry, but that sounds awesome. Well done.
Thank you, thank you.
The thing is, at the moment, I'm still working on the compound, so it's not complete.
It's a temporary solution that requires re-application.
And trying to do this covertly, there's no way I can handle the whole site.
Thankfully, the real bad shit is deep in the cave system.
I can deal with the boys' top side, so I wanted to make sure that I get a good thing.
in the area another third dose of the compound for when you guys arrived.
Unfortunately, I was still going when you showed up.
I guess I'd been spending too much time around the puffballs again.
Makes me go a little crazy.
Hence, you know, the disheveled look, tattered rags, speaking and grunts.
Usually I've got equipment, but someone on your team must have stolen it.
I didn't want to risk you guys dying just for trying to help us save the world for reals,
so I pushed on, also trying to look for my other.
missing shit. Today, the replacement equipment Phil ordered showed up, and I could synthesize a
dose of my extremely untested shroom-begone meds. Basically, glucose and caffeine and some stuff the FDA
really wouldn't let me put in my body officially. But works for me. Phil also told me about this
exosuit y'all had. I persuaded him to loan it to me because this thing would let me safely go deeper
into the cave systems than I've ever been, way past the heart. Then I could try applying compound down
there. Of course, none of this would be an issue once the land gets turned over to our employers,
thanks to you guys, but I couldn't pass up on the chance to try. I can tell you to totally relate
to this kind of thing. Yep, I get it. I see him. Unfortunately, things didn't go to plan. I knew one of
you was up to something when my shit got stolen. Then I saw someone running around in that creepy-ass
goat costume, and then... Then your colleague, he was murdered by our...
colleague. Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it. Phil was more than a colleague, and he was the best
kind of guy. He got so excited about play acting as a soldier when he found out we were infiltrating
a PMC. I teased him that it was awful, the worst acting I'd ever heard. Christ, he was even
trying to copy these crude jokes from movies we watched, but got shy about saying words like
vagina. It was amazing. But he was insistent. Garcia said they could
improve things in the editing studio.
Phil kept trying, but I bet you weren't fooled, huh?
You know, he did a good job, actually.
He was totally convincing.
Absolutely.
Thank you for lying.
It means a lot.
You care about him a great deal, huh?
I do.
And if I ever get the chance,
I'm going to make that fucking Breen character pay for what he did.
No idea how or why the feds flipped him, but...
Okay, so we're not actually working with the U.S. government at all, right?
Just going to get that straight here, because, you know, that's what we were told, that the government invited us here.
Well, damn.
I assumed everyone at your company knew the score.
Yeah, we're just the hired help.
Brought on for this project, maybe they thought we'd say no if we knew it was technically, you know, terrorism.
But I guess they don't know us all that well.
Main ones are Mags, Garcia, then Rick Bean, Forsyth Mercer, and Kent Clarkson.
Like, that's actually his real name.
I've seen the birth certificate to prove it.
Then there's Jenny someone and Penny someone else, the assistants, I guess.
and this YouTuber, Cleo, she's dope as heck, but she's just the intern.
People, should we not warn the others of Rick?
Oh, fuck. Yeah.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Already done when I was hiding in the cave.
Use my satellite phone to call yours.
And it got through, for certain?
Yeah, I couldn't tell who I spoke to because, you know, I was in an exosuit in a cave.
But it definitely wasn't Breen.
One of the guys with a deeper voice.
They're probably handling it right now.
Probably got Brin under citizens' arrest.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay, so assuming we're safe for the moment,
and since we're still technically at work,
what the hell is the heart of the gold meadow in the caves?
Does this have something to do with the soil?
Oh, man, you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
As long as you trust me and you're willing to go down there with basic hazmat gear,
it'd be better if I showed you.
I thought you'd never ask.
May 26th, 354 p.m. The following recording is taken from Andre Garcia's body cam.
Garcia, it makes sense, though, right? They'd be able to get away with covering up something in gold medal, even internally.
So much wild shit was going on with this country around that time. Good and bad. It was extreme cultural whiplash.
The shadow of Nome had been looming over us for around a decade.
and war would continue to rage on for another decade still.
The Manson family murders shocked the country in August of 69.
Then five days later, the nation hosted the Woodstock Festival.
One of the most poignant examples of peace, love, and pacifism this country has ever seen.
Then, just four months after that, Altamont Speedway bore witness to an event that ended up becoming known as
rock and roll's all-time worst day.
And then, in 1972, the damn really burst.
Watergate.
Oh, hey, nice wordplay.
Pretty slick.
But Kent, come here.
Listen, I can't bite my tongue anymore.
And you all have every right to be mad at me.
We've been shot at.
We may still be in danger.
I need to explain why.
We weren't exactly invited here by the government.
I was contacted by people who want to restore the land,
the conservationist group essentially.
They asked me if I'd be willing to check it out for them and report back,
share the footage,
and they said it wouldn't hurt if we were able to find some kind of evidence
about what went down in 67,
just in case the government didn't accept their land use proposal.
Wait, so hold on.
We've become glorified surveyors for tree-huggers now?
I mean, you could put it like that.
But these people, they want to protect this land.
Make it better.
There's some bad shit you're just growing wild.
Which you have now exposed us to by keeping us in the dark.
No, no, I promise.
It's nowhere near anywhere we've been.
But...
Why not just fill us in from the beginning?
Because you would have said no.
Just like you all would have.
to our last three award-winning projects if I told you the truth up front.
None of those were life or death activities.
Yet? You gotta go bigger every time.
So who else knows about this?
Nobody. Literally nobody. At least not for me.
I mean, shit, maybe we have a government spy or something, but...
Well, at least I'm not the only one this time.
Oh, I just don't get it.
I saw the actual government documents. I sat in on calls,
with government officials.
Would you know what a real government document for this kind of thing would look like?
And yeah, you sat in on a call with someone in a suit who said the right things.
But it isn't like we had a conference call with the president, right?
Just a woman who knew a lot about botany, anthropology, and gold meadow.
Like, for instance, the kind of person who might belong to a certain group of well-funded conservationists,
who might be capable of infiltrating a PMC alongside.
another equally talented individual.
Which equally talented individual?
Our only inside man is...
Oh, you are fucking shitting me.
Phil the Gate Guard?
So we're working for eco-terrorists
to try and blackmail the U.S. government
into turning over some bullshit abandoned piece of land.
Kent, I promise you, it makes sense.
We're on the side of the good guys here,
but I think the government may have found out.
I'm worried they may have an operative,
gold medal right now.
We haven't simply been arrested, so there must be a reason for that.
I think that shot at us was a warning to get out, or there'll be consequences.
So that's what we'll do.
Simple.
Nobody gets heard.
Y'all, did you notice this massive dent in the van door?
No?
Well, I did.
So I tried to open it, but it's jammed.
But that's when I realized.
This isn't the equipment van we drove up here in.
This is the other van that Penny, Jenny, and Uncle Mercy were driving across.
I checked the license plate.
It's just parked in the spot the other van used to be at.
Huh.
So where's our van?
I have absolutely no idea.
More importantly, though, where are Penny, Jenny, and Uncle Mercy?
And why's the door smashed up?
I'm getting a bad feeling.
One of you come help me force this open.
Sure.
Hold on.
Okay, babe. Really put your back into it.
Heave.
Guys, seriously, be careful. Maybe...
Hey! Hey, Garcia!
I went for a walk, and I found something you really need to see.
Cleo, thank God. Just hang on.
What are they doing?
Trying to get this goddamn thing open.
Feel free to come out.
An extra pair of hands might be good.
Sure.
It's open a crack.
Christ, what's that smell?
How he's.
Cleo, stop.
Be careful.
Oh!
And now you know how I got these scars.
As you already know, there were no warning shots.
No chance to simply leave.
Someone was out to silence us permanently.
He called himself the goat.
He was the one who placed the blind mirror costume in the clearing for us to find that first day.
And Victor was correct.
Of course it wasn't a festival costume from the 1960s.
Instead of simply picking us off,
the goat decided to go for a campaign of shock and awe.
The type of slasher killer sadism you expect to see only in horror movies.
It's not what you expect from the usual government assassin, right?
But given the likely identity of the killer,
It makes a sick kind of sense.
The following scene illustrates exactly the kind of sick individual you sent after us.
It is extremely hard to listen to.
But please remember this.
However difficult you find it to listen to,
I was the one who took the shotgun blast to the side of the face.
Friday, May 26th, 403 p.m.
The following recording is to talk.
taken from Andre Garcia's body cam.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Mags, come away.
No, no, no, no.
Ow!
Why?
She needs first aid.
No.
Please, someone help us.
Garcia, look.
Half her face is gone.
Have her fucking face is torn apart.
No.
Please, no.
Please no.
Why?
Why let someone take this?
We need bandages now!
Garcia!
Mercer Pini and Jenny are dead!
What?
How?
Why are they hacked into pieces?
And mushrooms!
Gotta pull myself together.
Gotta pull myself together.
Max?
Careful?
No.
Cleo needs me most right now.
Garcia, where's the first?
stayed kit.
In the van.
In...
I don't think there's anything left in here besides body parts and toadstools or...
No, not in that one.
Van One.
Another one at the lodge and one in my car, but Van One was here.
This is van too, though.
Someone's driven it here from the lodge.
I guess they killed the others, then drove them here for...
For us to find.
So where the hell is Van One?
Last I saw it, it was parked right here where this one is.
I don't know!
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, maybe...
Wait, is that it?
Out where the lake curves out of sight?
Where we saw the exosuit waving before?
I can just about make out shiny silver in the sunset.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it is.
It's been driven over there.
We've got to get over there.
It must be...
Well, there goes the van!
What the actual fuck?
The water strained away.
The village of Goldmeadow and its secrets
finally see the light of day once again.
It took some time for the chaos to subside.
We wrapped Cleo's face as best we could
using only the clothes on our backs.
Kent somehow managed to stomach the act of searching Van 2
for anything that might help.
To this day,
whichever member of the team hit
their stash of illegal prescription drugs behind a panel in the van is a goddamn hero.
As poor Cleo drifted off into an oxyated sleep,
Garcia quite rightly noted that if we had any chance of surviving this and living to fight
another day, we needed evidence of what was going on.
We needed exactly what we'd set out to acquire for our partners.
Proof of what happened in Goldmeadow in 1967.
Sorry, this will be my final pause.
As you already know, we didn't find everything.
But we found enough.
Enough that if we leaked it, the online sleuths and conspiracy theory fans would not stop digging until they uncovered more and more and more.
And giving what it all connected to, this would get bigger than gold medal, wouldn't it?
You look so stoic, but I bet that eternally you're tugging at your collar.
So here's what I'm going to say.
Project Bluebird.
Project Arta Chip, M.K. Chiquit.
M.K. Often.
M.K. Search.
M.K. Ultra.
And sure, I know what you're thinking.
None of these are secrets.
But how about if I throw in Project?
Kiloom, M.K. Echo. Project Witch Finder. M.K. Anthony. Thomas Crombie. He wasn't a foolish man.
Before you did, whatever the hell you did to gold medal, he kept records of all these projects.
Thanks to the draining of the lake, Kent and Garcia found it in his office. Just a small, unassuming black boxing,
bricked up into the wall, you wouldn't even know it was there.
If the years of being underwater hadn't caused the plaster to crumble a little,
they easily busted loose.
Yeah, so you're understanding it all now, right?
Why we've made this?
Why we've made it the way we had?
Why is it audio only?
Oh, there's a very good reason for that.
But here's the main one.
We do have all the video, but we wanted to hold it back just for now.
If you take a look at the tablet, my colleague in the room with you is showing you, though,
you'll see clear evidence that we've got everything all on tape.
But we've decided we'd only release the audio publicly first.
Yes, of course, people will assume it's a fake when it's audio only.
That's the point.
You seem to be misunderstanding here.
We're not giving you an ultimatum, where you sign the land over to our partners, or we make plans to release this audio documentary.
It's been ready to send live since our meeting started.
I triggered it 35 minutes ago.
Sorry, sorry.
It was over an hour ago, really.
I just wanted to quote the famous line exactly.
So here's the deal.
This is already out there.
People are listening to this right now.
We've proven that we're not bluffing.
But right now, it's framed as a piece of entertainment, audio fiction.
What we're threatening to do is release the video and the gold medal documents we have proving that it's factual.
Imagine the effect.
Think about the national and global political landscape right now.
Think about the impact it would have if people were to learn what you've been doing under our noses
from back in the late 19th century to as recently as 2017.
This wouldn't shake people's faith in the standard government.
It wouldn't harm our two major parties.
All of this was done behind the backs of most of the administration.
We all know this.
No, this is much worse.
It would shake the country's faith in itself.
It would cause every single member of every single previous presidential administration
to wonder how much control they really had.
It would make every future presidential candidate question whether they were a Republican or Democrat candidate.
Or if they were really a Manchurian one.
You CIA fellas have always been the smartest guys in the room.
You've always revealed just enough information to make sure people know
you've previously done terrible things to the citizens of this country,
and you're really sorry for it.
The perfect reveals the perfect apologies.
Calculate it just so in order to ensure nobody thinks,
to look for more.
Why would there be any drug programs we didn't know about?
When you're already admitting to performing non-con experiments on civilians and soldiers alike,
dosing them with everything from lysurgic acid to diomorphine,
scopolamine to psiocybin, how could you have anything worse to hide
when you revealed that you engage in attempts at mind control cohorst assassination,
What deeper depths of depravity exists than the likes of Operation Midnight Climax?
How could you knowingly be playing host to darker minds than one more nefarious than that of Sydney Godleaps?
Et fucking cetera.
You get my point.
Knowing what you had at gold medal site, it makes me wonder how many other inconceivable horrors.
you have ownership of.
But if I start worrying about that,
I'll never sleep again.
This is somewhere I can try and make a difference.
Because I do believe, genuinely,
that if people found out what's festering in gold medal,
the country would not just turn on itself,
but the entire world would consider us
the single bigger threat to life on this planet.
And we both know that if the thing that's festering under gold medal escapes its boundaries,
they be proven right.
I can tell from the look on your face that you agree.
And I don't want this.
I love this country.
Clearly, so do you.
The decorations on your uniform aren't just for sure.
So I fully believe that if we work together, we can make a better world.
without myself or my partner whistleblowing and risking the social destruction of our great country.
And all we are asking, which I know is within your personal capacity to make happen,
is to sign the land rights for gold medal over to my partners.
The envelope that's been sitting on the table in front of you contains all the details.
If you wish, you may retrieve it now.
Then you may leave.
Stop listening here.
Now, and walk at that door.
My colleague, in there with you, will escort you to another room where arrangements can be made.
Then you can go on with your life.
I'm told that it's your grandson's birthday today.
And your daughter and her husband are hosting a birthday barbecue that's
starts in an hour. I believe it's a roughly 30-minute drive to their house from here. If you leave
this room now and the negotiations are simple, then you should be able to make it with time to spare.
That would be nice. Don't you agree? Looks like he agreed. And I didn't even have to mention
Goldenheart. Friday, May 26th, 3.33 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Spare One BodyCam.
Thanks for letting me keep the GoPro.
I think I just kind of stole it when I was off my head on puffball scores.
Then I kept it with me just in case.
Hey, it's all good with us, right, Dick?
Not like we paid for any of this crap.
Who does bankroll you guys?
I know our employer reluctantly offered to set us up some complicated offshore shit.
But Garcia said it wasn't necessary.
It's Rick, actually.
Man, does that seem weird to you?
He could have shut the project down outright by pulling funding.
Maybe they flipped him after.
Maybe he wasn't sure.
People are weird.
It is true.
It did seem like he looks up to Garcia, like, way a lot.
Who the hell knows, man?
It is, as they say, no folk are queer.
That's not quite how the phrase goes, my good buddy, but yes to the sentiment.
You two make an awesome team.
Honestly, once this is done, you should set up your own production company.
I think people will pay a whole bunch to watch the adventures of Ashton and Victor.
That'd be sick, for real. Don't you think, Vic?
Vic?
Hello, I am looking at this wall.
Ah, yeah, it's been sealed up, right?
I think that must have been back from in the 60s.
One of the many things we'll explore when this is our land, I guess.
I'd love to explore and map out this whole place.
Once you get way deeper down where the real bad mushrooms are,
there's some wild shit.
Infected bats, birds.
Hell, I swear I even swore deer once.
Underground?
Yeah.
I think the fungus and the wildlife have co-developed over the last 50 years.
Created a bunch of subterranean mutations.
Wait, wait, wait, hang on.
Are you telling me there might be literal monsters living deep underground?
Yep.
But, I mean, there are literal monsters living deep underground all over the place, right?
There are?
Oh, yeah.
I guess you don't have access to some of the resources I do.
Yeah, there is evidence of some absolutely wild shit out there that you would not believe.
See, this is why you two should make more dogs.
Ash and Vic, monster hunters.
I could see it.
So, uh, if there are possibly creepy infected animals surviving down here,
is it even a good idea to develop the site?
It's better than leaving them alone, I figure.
Where will he be in another 25 years?
50?
Things are safe now, but what happens when they're not?
When the throat crushers and God knows what else somehow break free of the Goldheart's perimeter.
I understand the logic, just, you know.
I get your concerns, but I've been with my employer for long enough to have faith in them.
They do really good work to benefit the world.
We're here.
Around that corner is the Goldheart Cave.
I just need to warn you in advance that what you're about to see is going to be hard on your brains.
You'll understand what I mean.
It is okay.
Many things are hard on the brain.
As you and I, we handle all.
Okay, here it goes.
In the name of Chris's Evans, Hemsworth and Track, is that?
This is the heart of Goldmeadow.
Whatever it is, it feeds some kind of minerals into the soil,
just in those exact legendary fields and the orchard.
Anything grown there is, well, for one of a better word,
magic. And it extends underground, too. But to what degree, we don't know. Nobody's been able to
conduct tests, obviously, and they wouldn't have had the technology to explore underground back in
the times before the disappearance. So here's something I don't understand. How have the puff
balls spread beyond the fields and orchard? This is the risk, I guess, the government overlooked.
When something like the ergot fungus evolves the way it has, it'll mutate. Over a small amount of time,
it requires gold meadow soil for its potency.
But over decades, the enhanced versions become the default.
It's why the compound is so important.
If they started to grow within the perimeter of the gold heart,
then eventually we'll have throat pressures
that will also give in the massive boost in potency
that the minerals provide.
And then over decades, they would become the default, et cetera, et cetera.
It's why the ones deep underground are potentially monstrous.
We have no idea how they've mutated.
Same with the animals.
And if any of this got into the wrong hands,
enemies of our nation, for example,
then we could be looking at biological terror
on an unprecedented scale.
Phil, he asked me,
why can't we just tell the government
instead of deceiving them
and pulling off this elaborate blackmail scheme?
But would you want any government
having an unmarketed access to this kind of thing?
They could say the same thing about you guys, though, in fairness.
Sure.
Except we have a proven track record.
And we're going to be cleaning the site up, eradicating corruption, and making it public.
The world won't know what we're saving it from, but they will know that this is a safe, clean sight.
Okay, I'm with you.
So now I'm going to turn my attention back to this.
Hey, Vic, buddy, you okay?
You've been staring at it for minutes.
I am.
I see inside it.
Everything.
Yeah.
It can be like that.
Holy.
I'm...
It's like it's real, but my brain can't accept it.
The way the light refracts off the surfaces,
the way the shards like twist and twinkle.
It is like looking at time.
I feel like I'm standing above our own universe,
staring down at it.
There's life in here.
I can feel it.
I can feel it drumming through the ground.
Through me.
This.
I wonder if...
Oh my God, don't touch it!
Uh, did I just break Goldmeadow's heart?
Oh my God, I can't believe you touched it.
I've never touched it.
I don't know what happens if you touch it.
There are...
May I see?
There are two pieces.
Take one.
Here.
Well, the heart looks normal.
Nothing bad's happened, so...
Oh, fuck.
What was that?
I've no idea what's going on, but it doesn't sound good.
What?
What's happening?
Something is coming.
Something bad.
Fuck!
We need to get topside.
If things are blowing up, then they're probably going to need our help.
But the heart, it's so beautiful.
Us!
We must go.
No!
Christ, I don't know about that.
The tunnel's collapsing.
Everyone take cover.
Now!
Friday, May 26th.
1119.
P.m. The following recording is taken from Magdalene De Silva's body cam.
She's awake. Garcia, she's awake. I saw, I saw a goat upon a tree. I saw a village floating.
A girl cut in half. A heart breaking deep underground.
Hey, Cleo, sweetie. Try and lay back. Garcia, I need more.
Meds.
Here.
Are you okay injecting?
Sure.
Can't any luck getting hold of the others?
Nope.
No response from anyone.
Man, I cannot believe that goat-faced fucker trash so much of our shit.
The satellite phone, my laptop, everything.
And the cars?
Let's not forget about the cars.
Since, you know, we have no mode of transport to leave.
Thank God he couldn't get into the SD card lockbox.
Wait, shit, who's that now?
Guys, everything is absolutely fucked.
Whoa, Rick, buddy, calm down. Where's Phil?
Phil's, uh...
Rick? What the hell is this?
Why have you got this in the vehicle?
Their costume?
Yep. Wasn't whoever shot your boat wearing this?
Yep.
No, no, guys, you don't understand.
I don't know where that came from.
I didn't...
Give me that.
Who is this?
In Victor, I don't know how we survived.
We saw the heart.
We looked into the heart.
And there was this woman with us, the cave wall, and flood.
Ash, oh my God.
Slow down.
Is Victor there?
Can you make it to us on foot?
We're at site A1.
We've had our own casualties.
Although Rick just got back with the growler.
Yeah?
Something else, but there's...
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, listen.
I didn't.
I...
It's not what it looks like.
I...
Saturday, May 27th, 12.04 p.m.
The following recording is taken from Ash Cotton's body cam.
I can't believe we both kept hold of our stones in those caves.
I mean, man.
Damn, I can't believe we even survived.
I really hope Joni got out somehow.
But...
Man, I can't even think about it.
Not now.
We don't even know of the other...
Oh.
Hey, I think we're here.
Mags?
Garcia, Jenny.
Anyone?
Kent?
Victor, you got a flashlight?
I can't see a thing.
Why is there no moon tonight?
Sure.
I have light.
One more man.
What happened here?
Yes.
Is that you?
My eyes are con?
I can't see.
I...
Kent?
Oh, my God.
What happened to you?
Everything.
Mags? Where are you? Oh God, Cleo?
She's gone.
Everyone's gone.
Rick? Where are you?
Hush. Look.
Is the blind mare?
Fuck. It, uh, the costume. Jesus.
I'm a fan of body parts here.
And one, two bodies on the ground and fuck a single leg.
Jesus Christ. One of them has their head crushed in.
Who?
I don't know.
I can't tell without the head.
I think it might be Garcia.
Fuck.
Max.
Cleo escaped.
Garcia.
Rick, did you do this?
Where are you?
Not me.
It was the devil.
The devil did this.
Look into his eyes.
He is the devil.
Goat.
The devil made you do this?
Is that it, Rick?
It wasn't me.
We know, buddy.
It was the mushrooms.
Just come out.
It'll be okay.
We'll help you.
No.
Can't come out.
It isn't.
Rick?
Rick?
Rick, Brin.
Speak to us.
The light!
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Victor, where are you?
you.
Ash!
Follow my voice.
I'm coming, Victor.
I'm coming.
Reach out for me if you can.
I feel you.
I feel your hand.
I feel...
Ash!
Ash!
Let there be light.
I just wanted to make sure you saw this, Victor.
I've been looking forward to this one.
No, no.
No!
No!
No!
No!
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
You will.
Oh, you want to go toe to toe, do you?
Well, sometimes you've just got to go for the old methods.
You know, two in the head, one in the chest.
Peace out, A.V. Club.
You know, that's clever.
That should have been their brand name.
Thank you for listening to A Nightmare in Goldmeadow,
the first podcast movie from five years later pictures.
While it is indeed true that men,
of our founding colleagues lost their lives in Goldmeadow during that fateful week in 2017.
This was a dramatic recreation built around a semi-fictional narrative that we know our dear friends
would have enjoyed and endorsed.
This disclaimer acknowledges that Rick Breen's guilt is unable to be proven in a court of law.
It is entirely plausible that another unknown party committed the vile murders of André
Garcia, Forsythe Mercer, Jenny Belmont, Penny Porter, Cleopatra,
Quaker, Ash Cotton, Victor Spinoza, and Kent Clarkson. So too may it be the case that the
cavern which flooded the underground tunnels of the valley was simply a terrible accident,
which thankfully led to the discovery and eventual reconstruction of the lost village of Goldmeadow.
While the tragedies of both 2017 and 1967 may never fully be understood,
we at the rebuilt five years later pictures, along with the Goldmeadow Heritage Society,
wish for the future of this beautiful site to serve as a tasteful and heartfelt tribute to departed
loved ones of Gold Meadow, Young and Old. This is why we are pleased to announce that the Goldmeadow
resort and adventure experience will be opening to the public on July 1st of 2022, after a trial
period of VIP guests. Come pay tribute to Gold Meadow's tragic history, but be a part of its vibrant
and positive future. Help shine a light on the show.
shadows that have long dimmed this wonderful place.
Standard packages available through online booking.
For interactive Gold Meadow Ghost and Murder Tours,
please contact us via the form on our website.
Five years later pictures, the estate of Rickory Breen,
Parasoletech and its subsidiaries,
the Gold Meadow Heritage Society and Gold Meadow Resort and Adventure Experience
are owned in whole or in part by Winterstone Industries Incorporated.
All brand names are copyright, Winterstone Industries Incorporated,
all rights reserved.
Hope it's okay.
for me to just come on in.
Sure thing, Chloe.
I'm in the den.
Come on through.
Jeez, you're getting addicted to that thing.
I can quit anytime I want, actually.
Please, take a seat.
Something to drink?
Wine?
No, I'll pass tonight.
I can't stay.
I'm absolutely exhausted after today.
I just wanted to drop by on my way home.
You're the only other person I
actually can talk to about this.
There are a few things I want to clear up.
I understand.
Although it's nearly been five years,
there can't be much more to talk about.
God damn, can you turn that thing off?
It's actually legit unsettling me.
There. Better?
Much.
So, we haven't talked privately, just us and forever.
There's always some parasoling.
scientist hanging about or my handler or a lawyer or worst of all, one of the creepy gold metal
heritage society whack jobs. And it's fine. It's all good. But after today, I need to talk
face to face just us. I understand. So I got a vague idea or two for my future. But what are you
going to do about Magdalene? After today, people are going to expect her to make a grand public
return. And, well, she's dead. You know, I think this will work just fine. The great Magdalene de Silva
rises from the dead, drops this incredible fictionalized documentary, then vanishes from the public eye again.
I'll revive her every now and then when the Gold Medal Resort needs a new marketing boost.
I know it's ghoulish, but this whole thing is. Mags would agree. Well, you know her far better than I do.
What are your plans? I'll come back to that later.
I've got a question first.
When I listened to the story today, there were a couple of things that leapt out at me.
I never heard the whole thing from start to finish before.
I always been sent snippets out of order.
Okay.
So what's up?
Well, are you sure that Rick was the goat?
Ha!
The evidence was all right there.
And let's not forget...
This little beauty.
It's an extremely clever device.
You upload various files containing one person's voice, and it constructs a voice-changing profile
using that person's vocal biometrics. I had no idea such things were even around in 2017.
They found it on Rick's corpse when they went back after you and I escaped and managed to identify
the voice print he'd been using in Gold Meadow. It belonged to an actor who appeared in Dance, Dance,
Naked Blade. The audio files loaded onto the vice were all clips from that. But,
All of the guy's scenes were cut.
The only person who'd have access to those files was Rick.
Plus, you know, the part where Vincent and Ashley saw him directly kill a man.
Victor and Ashton.
But yes, I suppose that's true.
You know, I will have that drink after all.
Thank you.
It's wild, honestly.
Rick was constantly going on about government assassins and conspiracies.
He'd watch documentaries on that type of thing.
have nightmares. He's the last person I'd have expected the government to flip.
It was kind of wow how perfectly his dialogue in the final scene made it look like Max and I had
escaped, huh? When you know what happened, when you were there, you can see what he's saying,
but yeah. I mean, not that we were there at that point. We'd already fled in the growler.
Yeah, that's the one part that drives me mad, that we saw.
Somehow got no footage of his brief rampage.
I was loading you in.
Kent and Mags had him covered,
and the next thing I know,
Mags is dead and Kent's down,
yelling for me to get you to safety.
I wish I had that on tape.
The one goddamn concrete piece of evidence
that nobody was recording for.
Don't meet yourself up, man.
I was just asking,
because throughout the story,
there's one person on the team
whose role doesn't quite add up.
Just a few,
inconsistencies, plot holes. Our story just makes Rick seem obvious. If I was a listener,
I try and work out who it seemingly couldn't be, excluding because they previously died,
because hello, screen three, that's just cheap. And then I'd find the evidence for why it
actually could. So listening to the whole thing back today, I did a bit of speculating.
And there's definitely a clear suspect for me if it somehow was fiction.
If you say it's me, I'm going to cry.
Huh.
No.
I don't think anything in there which could suggest you killed anyone.
Yep.
So, who's your suspect?
I know it was Rick, but it's always been fun to read the speculation.
If only we could gather the whole team together in the room for the who-done-it reveal.
Alas, I'm sure they're here in spirit.
And I'm sure it's just the way I cut the footage together being to blame for this new culprit, but tell me, tell me.
Okay, Mr. Garcia, the real man behind the Blind Mayor Mass is Kent Clarkson.
What?
How did you come to that conclusion?
Probably just because it's correct, man.
Oh, yeah. That would make sense.
I knew it.
I would ask what gave it away, but I imagine I already.
already know. You were there. You heard the narrative. Although I'm surprised you were so quick
to declare my innocence. It had to be Kent. But the only way it all really adds up as if I was in on
it with him. Thankfully, we're both dead. I do think we put on quite a believable show for our
final performance, though, don't you? I sure do. I think it was my best role to date.
Oh, you misunderstood me. I said there's nothing in the narrative which could suggest
you killed anyone. Because Kent was the one behind the mask. He was the one getting his hands dirty.
Frankly, I admired it. The black male material had to be as watertight as possible.
Gold medal needs to be in the right hands, whatever the cost. There. See what I tell you, soup.
I knew she'd be on board. I guess I'm just surprised that you never told me sooner, that you didn't
trust me enough. I was with you guys from the start. I knew about the truth behind our employers.
The plan to pin the role of government assassin on Phil? A nerd who was so excited to pretend to be
a Chad that he didn't stop to ask why. You tell me that much, but stop short. Oh, we won't
actually let any of the team die. And all the while, Kent's there hacking. Hacking
up beloved British celebs on day fucking one.
What?
Did you think I just wouldn't notice when people were dying for real?
Or believe that Phil conveniently really was a government assassin?
I don't get it.
Or did you just intend to kill me off like the others?
And if so, why not go through with it?
You had me alone and unconscious.
You could have offed me.
Any time.
So here's the thing.
I think you can tell from the recording that I was genuinely very upset that you got hurt.
Kent intended for you to come over out of harm's way and for Magdalene to take the shotgun blast.
Yeah.
Oops.
My bad.
Honestly, at that point, I was just sick to death of Mags and jump the gun, so to speak.
Kind of still a little high on those puffball sports, too.
I should have been more careful.
but instead, well, you got fucked up.
Basically what he's saying is he feels bad.
We were trying to keep you out of this.
Honestly, you guys are fucking bad shit.
Both of you, derains,
murderous lunatics who are working with a mysterious megacorp to save the world?
I don't understand it.
I don't understand any of it.
But you can sure.
as shit bet that I'm still along for the ride.
You know what? I'm down. Why not? We've been through a lot together. What's a little
murder among friends?
Back again, bro. I for sure thought she'd been retired for good last February. Just over a year
later and I guess she's still the hottest sci-off they got, man. You subbed to her only fans?
Dude.
Nah.
Bro, you're missing out.
This toad's worth the money.
Makes my bell ring hard if you get me.
Gross.
Yo, hang on, shouldn't I get an employee discount?
How?
Oh, hold up.
Boomer alert.
Who are you calling a boomer, kid?
You, grandpa?
I bet you don't even know this diner's got a sick arcade machine, huh?
I sure do.
What's the game?
Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3.
I'm here to play.
Retake my position on the high scoreboard.
And who do you play as?
Jacks.
Of course.
Morning, Deputy Director Miller, sir.
Go right on in.
He's waiting at the usual booth.
Thanks, kid.
The pair of you do great work.
Appreciated.
Bob, thanks so much for coming.
Jan, wouldn't miss it.
Friday, May 20th, 10.10 a.m.
The following recording is taken from Deep State Surveillance Nanobots
injected into Mr. Janusz Kowalski.
Ha, ha. Don't you even dare.
Missed you, though, old friend.
It's been, what, four months since G-Day?
Oh, hey Deputy Director Miller, sir, it's been a while.
It sure has, darling.
So, what can I get you two fine gentlemen?
Oh, we'll have the usual, Gloria, dear.
You got it.
Bacon, mushrooms, hash browns, and pancakes coming right up.
Oh, hold the mushrooms for me, please.
Sure, thanks, sugar.
Hold the mushrooms.
You big baby.
Listen here, Kowalski.
I remember Des Moines in 84.
You couldn't eat meat for a year after that.
You knocked me into a silo of body parts.
It was rather grim.
I think I can be excused.
Not intentionally.
And you were responsible for those body parts, in fairness.
Ah, back in our wild youth.
Just a pair of young geniuses working for the agency.
How are they?
treating you over there. You really drew the short straw being stuck there. You know, same as it ever was.
All for the greater good, though. The younger guys think I'm a dinosaur, a has been, and treat me as such.
Just how it should be. G-Day went well. If it was enough to scare folk at the agency who used to do the
scaring, then it was enough to scare the government into letting me sign off on it without them risking complicity.
just by knowing whatever it is.
They learned their lesson after Dickie.
Never pick a candidate who even wants to have a hand in the real dark stuff.
And even Nixon was only allowed to dip his toe in the surface of the murky, polluted pool that is our precursor's legacy.
A legacy that I have thankfully made a lot of progress in cleaning up.
Thank the Lord above.
Or the ones below.
Who knows?
these days. Speaking of below, you ever managed to capture footage in those caves?
Nope. Not once in the four years we've been renovating. You cannot capture the golden heart
using any method of imaging we currently have available. It makes me wonder what it really looks
like. One's brain has to be filling in the blanks that our eyes can't comprehend. One can look at it,
but one can't really see it. I've seen the thing a few times. It's like nothing.
else. I can't even give it words, but, hey, for now, I guess its purpose of fertilizing
extremely tasty avocados for extremely rich guests is just grand. Indeed, indeed. You know,
the whole G-day may just be my favorite op we've pulled. It had everything you and I specialize in,
overly convoluted narratives, a strong cast of characters, a flare of open defiance.
Here you go, boys.
So, here, Mr. Kowalski, it's about time you spilled on this one.
You've been smug about it all year, and I didn't even get to be a part of it.
You promised me I could hear about it direct from the horse's mouths next time you and Mr. Bob met up.
So I did, Gloria, pull over a seat.
So, you know, we've been working cleanup on the Gold Meadow site since 2018.
We sent that film crew there in 2017 for,
a multi-layered field exercise.
So, I never wonder why
the podcast movie didn't end
with a grand unmasking of the killer,
outlining their master plan.
For real, so did half the audience?
The other half held it as a bold and defiant move
that cements a nightmare in Gold Meadow
as the most effective elevated horror podcast movie to date.
So, Magdalene was supposed to reveal herself
to be the killer.
What? Why would she do that unless...
you know, she was the killer.
Ha, people seem to believe that just because the CIA admitted to things like mind control
and mental conditioning programs within MK Ultra, nobody has ever continued that work.
But even then, consider about the hotbed of chaos and spores and murders and mental weakness
at the Gold Meadow site that weekend.
It wouldn't have been difficult to arrange from Magdalenda Silver to say the right words at the right time.
and it would have been the most scandalous, dramatic ending.
But then two unexpected things happened.
One, Rick Breen killed Phil, God's rest his soul.
That man was one of our own.
For sure.
Deserves a medal, that fella.
And secondly, before he drove out of there with Cleo,
that raging idiot André Garcia killed Magdalene.
Everything was all set up, and then Garcia just ups and kills him.
No idea why. Never did say.
According to Clarkson, the boy just went utterly Hogwild,
smashed Magdalene's skull in with a rock so thoroughly that there wasn't even a head left.
So then we're left without a big killer reveal.
And to this day, André Garcile will not explain himself to me.
On the plus side, we have Rick Breen as good as confessing,
and then five years later were able to revive beloved actress Magdalene de Silva from
the dead. Honestly, think it worked out better that way. Especially now them folk at Cordiagram
are a teasing that improved hologram deep fake witchcraft. Oh, I've seen some of that when me,
Mr. Koalski, and the boys drop by for a visit. It's impressive, all right? Indeed. So Garcia
hands Cleo and the safe over to our Exville team at the entrance, then insists on accompanying us back to the
sight. I tell you, no matter what you've heard on that tape, the sign of that place was,
ugh, honestly, I was damn glad that darkness fucked with the visuals on their body cams.
The footage you got post-slaughter was bad enough.
Hot damn, Jealously wasn't around for this, but from what I heard around the water cooler,
you pulled up a bunch of successful coercion and persuasion studies, constructed layers of blackmail
material in the form of a popular entertainment release that also served as effective marketing for
the new resort, and conducted field tests and sample studies of the fungi all in the space of a few
days? Yep, that sure sounds like another Kowalski and Miller special, aren't?
I suppose. We played our parts to perfection for sure, and now Winterstone owns the land
legally as well as all but.
Oh yeah, so why the five-year gap? I know our boy's been working Goldmeadow for a few years now.
Why the wait to go public?
We needed to see how viable the Gold Meadow site was and for what.
I was sure you and I had discussed this.
Nope.
So I guess you were deciding whether to keep using it for bio-weapons or not?
The undetectable instant strickening sure does sound appealing.
Pretty much.
And whether it actually made sense to legally sign ownership over to Winterstone.
A lot of thought.
A lot of moving piece.
parts. I understand. Well, I don't, but I do. I imagine that much like everything you pair are
involved in, there are layers upon layers, upon layers, upon layers, like how Project Witchfinder
fits in. Oh, let's not talk about that one. Sure thing. So all in all, a rousing success then?
We'll see you when the resort opens tomorrow, I guess. Once the preliminary round of testing begins,
we'll see if all the effort was worth it.
Can't wait.
So what about the Lusanne's?
Cleo, Kent, Garcia?
They've been taken care of, right?
No.
All of them are protected.
Orders from above.
Above you two?
How?
That is high.
It's the most frustrating thing.
I've scoured everywhere
and I haven't been able to find any connection
between Andre Garcia and, well, anyone.
Sometimes I'm sure I see a family.
resemblance, but no, it's impossible, totally watertight. But someone close to the old man
not only wants Garcia protected, but to the point I have to let his friends run wild too.
But it's not the old man himself either. I did some digging around, and I cannot pinpoint where
these orders are coming from. But those three could blow everything. Kent Clarkson, maybe I could
work with him. He went a bit too nutty in the field, but I could blame it on the mushroom.
and he's a good asset.
Cleo Quaker, though, she's a social media influencer, for God's sakes.
She's talking about returning to the public eye.
And Garcia himself, well, the guy is a freaking mystery.
He seemed to know more about the Gold Meadow site than we did.
It would never surprise me if it was somehow him who tipped us off
to what was going down there in the first place,
even though, again, this all seems to be internal.
Wow, Kowalski.
This sure is a bug bear for you, huh?
It ain't like you to get like this.
It was driving me insane because this op has otherwise been the most ruthlessly no-loose ends op we've done in years.
You and I sat in that room listening to their documentary, recording Cleo Quaker dishing out her blackmail,
both believing that everyone involved would be disappeared harder than the village of Goldmeadow itself.
She saw your face, Bob.
She's been in our protective custody for nearly five years, and I've never been given the opportunity to
probe her mind. This was fine, I thought, because as soon as this is done with, none of them
will be a problem anymore. I don't like not knowing what's going on with my own operations.
It spanned over 50 years and involved an entire village being disappeared so hard that even
we can't find what happened to them. Why this fuss over protecting three people who the world
believes are dead anyway? I'm sure there's a good reason. It ain't ever good to start defying the
group.
I hoped you'd see differently, Bob.
It was why I wanted to meet today on the eve of the Gold Meadow Resort opening.
You, of all people, must understand.
You risked your reputation, your life even for this facade.
What we pulled off was spectacular.
Now, best yet, there shouldn't be people higher up issuing orders to us.
I need you with me on this, Bob, like the old days.
We need to defy orders here.
and no one will explain to me why.
You know it's the right thing to do.
When there are loose ends, renegades, or people with ideas above their station,
then they should be dealt with.
I totally agree.
Sadly, I totally agree.
Real shame, that.
Real shame.
He was a good boss.
He was a good friend, best I ever had.
But this is bigger than that.
bigger than any of us.
He knows that.
Or I thought he did.
I guess when he said he couldn't see the golden heart,
he didn't know how true that was.
You want me to call Mr. Garcia?
Let him know it's done.
Nah, darling.
I'll give him a call.
You and the boys outside gonna have your hands full,
making this place look like dumbass robbers in it.
And I got to clear out my desk at the agency.
I heard there's an opening.
in the private sector.
Shame it came to this.
It'll be nice working for you, Deputy Director Miller.
God damn.
I won't miss having to take out the staff of a random diner
every time Mr. K wants a meeting.
At least he lets me just knock him out on the way to work.
Harry used to have my predecessor go full killer,
but maybe these are just rumors.
Don't let me think otherwise, Mr. Kowalski.
He wasn't a good,
man, but...
He was amen.
All of us
have eschewed
the right to believe we're
good people. But I want
to believe we're still looking for
the greater good.
Bigger than anyone life,
God, or government.
That's what I tell myself
to let me sleep at night
anyway. And how well
does it work, sir?
Gloria.
I haven't slept a wink in five years.
Kent, Jeff Clement as Rick, Kristen DiMecurio as Ash, Mick Wingert as Victor, Woffia White as Cleo,
David Cummings as Mercer, Kyle Akers as Phil, Lindsay Russo as Jenny, Penny Scott Andrews as Penny,
Peter Lewis as the goat, Erica Sanderson as the witch, Jesse Cornett as Deputy Dore.
Director Robert Miller, David Alt as Janush Kowalski, Nicole Goodnight as Gloria, Dan Zapula as Jay, and Brandon Boone as Violent Bob.
This concludes season 17 of the No Sleep Podcast.
This audio production is copyright 2022 by Creative Reason Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.
The Gold Meadow copyright is held in trust by Creative Reason Media, Inc.
No duplication or reproduction of this audio program is permitted without the written consent of Creative Reason Media, Inc.
