The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 039 - Football Talk With A Hawk... Also.. Potential World Tour

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

On today’s show, Pat welcomes former Packer great, Super Bowl Champion, partner in the booth, and friend of the show, AJ Hawk, for the debut of a new segment. They cover Pat’s NFL broadcasting debut and what AJ heard from some of his friends still playing on the Packers. They also discuss the two playoff matchups this weekend, and chat about what AJ has been doing recently, what he wants his endgame to be professionally, and why he isn't a fan of debate shows on TV (2:07-37:26). Later, Pat and the guys discuss some things that are going on in the world including a potential new comedy tour, a few things that they didn’t know about Zito, they chat about dogs and some of the other creatures that are roaming around the McAfee estate, and do a quick check-in on the weight loss challenge. Plus Pat tells a few more stories about Chuck Pagano when they first met each other. It’s a good one, come and laugh with us. Cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For streaming, creating, gaming, and more, power your passions for less during Dell's exceptional cyber savings event. Enjoy up to $400 off stunning laptops like the XPS, along with high-performance desktops and next-level Alienware systems, redefining what's possible with 10th Gen Intel Core processors. Shop special prices on top-brand electronics and. Plus, enjoy free shipping on everything. Don't forget to ask for Intel when you call 1-800-BUY-DELL. That's 1-800-BUY-DELL. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Thursday, January 17th, and we have a heater for you. We do a little football talk with the Hawk, Mr. A.J. Hawk.

New segment alert. New segment alert. Plus, a full conversation about a lot of things we get we dive into a lot of things happening in the world so sit back relax and enjoy the next two hours or so i think it's going to be an enjoyable one tweet us tell us what's up and also tell us how you are planning on using our presenting sponsor of seat geek seat geek is the greatest ticket buying app on planet Earth. And that means worldwide. Wide. Wide.

Tickets to everything. We got comedy shows. We got theaters. We got games. We got sports. We got this. We got that. And guess what? We got it for the best price on the damn block. What SeatGeek does is they scan all the other ticket buying websites. Apps too. You get it. Hey. You get it.

Hey, you get it. And make sure that you get the most bang for your buck for every single ticket. So whenever you shop for tickets, shop with confidence. Because what you buy and what you see is what you get. You're alive, but are you living? Go live and see it live. There ain't nothing like going to a game with a family member or a friend. There ain't nothing like going to a game with a family member or a friend. There ain't nothing like going to a show because all it does is create memories, good times,

and things that you can talk about for the rest of your entire life. SeatGeek, promo code Pat, get $10 off your first SeatGeek purchase. Promo code Mac, if you get $20 off your SeatGeek purchase. Hello. Use that one probably. Unless you're rich. If you're rich, use the Pat one and only get $10 off. If you're on your way to becoming rich, you use McAfee, get $20 off. A little self-awareness here. Let's be friendly in this community that we have built here.

Let's not overuse the McAfee one so they shut it off. If we have enough money to only take the $10 off our first purchase, let's do that one. But if we're going to come up and you're about to get up, get up, get down someday, use McAfee $20 off your first purchase. Shout out to SeatGeek. Let's get in this conversation

with the Hawk. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for your favorite segment of all time. Football talk with the Hawk. A.J. Hawk, what's going on? What's up, Pat? Okay, A.J., I thank you so much for calling into the show. A last-minute call-in from the bullpen while you're currently watching

six children all by yourself. Is that correct? No, I only have four kids. But, yeah, they're currently under my care while I'm doing this call. What is happening over there? So you're playing a full zone defense with these four goddamn little things,

and your wife is out of town, and it's no nanny, no babysitter, just former Super Bowl champion A.J. Hawk and his four kids' dad-of-the-year shit. No, well, I mean, if I had something scheduled, like I did a bunch of radio yesterday, I'm serious, so I have to have my mother-in-law or someone come help out but tonight i didn't have anything scheduled so i got a facetime call from patrick mcAfee so i decided to uh yeah i'm not gonna call and get someone over here to watch him so i got my eight-year-old

daughter kind of overseeing the other three so she kind of has the power and she can let him know and she can penalize him i gave her all the power while i'm doing this call hey the art of delegation is something you have to teach young i am i'm impressed by that mr aj hawk yeah did chuck did a pagano do that i don't know what that even means i have no idea what that meant or what who you were trying to take a shot at right there i don't just trying to, it was a shameless plug for you to do your Chuck Pagano. Oh, listen, listen. There is nothing wrong with a little delegation.

Sometimes you got to know what you don't know. You know, sometimes you have to know what you don't know. Ignorance isn't a problem. It's an opportunity. Okay, listen. That's what it is.

All right, Mr. A.J. Hawk. Sometimes you got to run in circles to get back to where you started That's a fucking lie That doesn't make any sense But yeah he just got a job right He did yeah And I have an interview with him coming up next week

He was actually gonna come on today's show But he realized about five minutes before the show That he hadn't done the Chicago press conference yet That he's been announced as the D coordinator And said I can't do that So he's going to come on next week I get a chance to talk to him are you excited about that wait wait let's not even talk about the Chicago Bears let's talk about you being excited about the Green Bay Packers hire you came up out of nowhere nobody knows who this guy is you came out swinging in this guy's corner why is that you're a big fan

of the hire well I mean I think it obviously goes in the uh the trend of these young hot shot offensive creative dudes anyone that's been touched by mcveigh figuratively literally but i uh i just think i was so i was a member of the other falcons for about four weeks the year that they got beaten the super bowl and the qb coach at the time was one Matt LaFleur. For some reason, I talked to him a lot when I was there. I just went back and forth, and I didn't really know who he was. I didn't know much about him. I knew he seemed good.

I was impressed by him, and I know he jumped around after that. I don't know where the fuck he went, because I can't hear a word you're saying. I mean, it sounds as if you are literally taking your phone, throwing it down the hallway, talking, catching up to it, picking it back up and talking again. How about now? What's going on? You tell me. I feel like the eight-year-old doesn't have anything under control. It sounds like all madness is broken out over there.

Every fourth word is just going completely blank. Oh, is it still messing up? I can't tell. It doesn't show up to me, man. You literally sounded like Witten there. You know how when Witten's talking on Monday Night Folk? Oh, low blow. Low blow.

I think the connection, you just were breaking up. I don't know if you were walking around. He has a mansion of a house, by the way. I FaceTimed him today. I thought he was in a hotel. I thought he was in a fucking hotel. It was his house. And then I saw all his little kids. He has a beautiful place over there.

He deserves it. So you got a chance to befriend him whenever you were at the Atlanta Falcons. Aaron Rodgers also gave him the sign-off, too. They said Aaron called him, and he was hired 10 minutes later. I think the Green Bay Packers should be excited about it. And I loved calling that game and lambo i wish you were there with me yeah i know i was i was gonna ask you how did how did that go how was it much different like how did it feel compared to the texas tech game that we did

well aj you and i we know each other pretty well so i feel like I knew going into that experience in Jerry world with the Texas Farm Bureau Insurance Texas shootout, Baylor and Texas Tech. I knew that if all else failed, I could just ask you a question and then hopefully berate you for your answer. I knew that that was something that I could do with Robert Smith. I had no idea who he was. He hadn't called an NFL game in eight years. I don't think he's called a game in eight years. And Justin Kutcher there, I don't think he's called a game in a long time either. So we were going in there with just a mixed bag of people.

And to be honest, we hung out before the show, before the game a little bit. We had a dinner thing and all that. But it's hard to build up a rapport like you and I had. So I was a little bit hesitant going into the thing, and then I took a little vitamin rip right before the game started and said, fuck it, let's let her fly. And that's exactly what happened. But I missed you in there.

You were good, though, man. So Kutcher, I've done a few games with Justin Kutcher as a play-by-play, and then Robert Smith, he's an Ohio State guy. I don't know if you know that or not but um yeah I was wondering how it was gonna go anytime it's a three-man booth and you don't know each other real well it's kind of hard enough to step on each other but I saw that Detroit ran that fake field goal for a touchdown to really just put it I mean it was almost like that was set up just perfectly for you like they knew you were in the booth. Everybody knows that every time I make any type of religious statement, I count all of the religions in.

I shout out the Mormons. I shout out the Christians, the Jewish. Keep going. Keep going. The Tom Cruises, the Allahs, the Buddhas. I shout them all out. And I think, to be honest, they all did a little tag team up there and came through for me with that Prater touchdown.

And also, I do believe there's a chance because the guy that was running the Lions special teams was from the Colts, was a ball boy basically for me and Vinny there for a little bit. He was running the special teams because the head special teams guy got fired. He just wasn't named head special teams guy. Sam Martin and I, pretty good friends. Matt Prater, pretty good friends. I think there's a chance that they heard that i was in that game fuck it we got nothing to lose here let's go ahead and put this in because they could have checked out of that and for that i'll forever be thankful i honestly

they they gave me a a gift from all of the gods all of them i think i hit them all too aj is good aj is good he and i have what we like to call in the biz the good rapport oh yeah i also have a good rapport with this new app that i've been using every single day in my life and it's mostly because i am possibly a degenerate at this point and it's not gambling anymore it is investing because I use the app, the Action Network. The Action Network is a place that gives you all the information you need to know to become the best sports gambler on earth. You want to see the trends? They got the trends.

You want to hear write-ups from the experts? They got the write-ups from the experts right there on the app. Also, you can track all of your bets in there. So when you place a bet track it in there green dot city is a place that you will go because the action network is supplying you with all the information you need to know to win the dough the action network app the only place with the action network app the only place you can track all of your bets and connect it to sports sites like MyBookie and FiveOthers.

That's all it says. MyBookie and FiveOthers. We only use MyBookie. Right. Here we do. But if you use the others in said others, you can connect that right to the Action Network app. As soon as you place the bet, it'll go right into the app. Then all you have to do

to follow along, whether you're winning or losing, the percentage of you winning, the percentage of you losing, they give you updates and notifications to the games that you're betting right there in one place. It's incredible. Action Network's a place to go from gambling to investing. Invest in you. Invest in the Action Network app.

The app. The Action Network app. Back to the show well you know what honestly i was curious how the production meetings were gonna go and i i talked to aaron and he said he's like honestly pat had some really good questions and i could tell he was actually really well like prepared he goes it was great he was really good in the production meeting aaron rogers said that yeah because i was curious. I was like, is he going to show up in his wife beater and his weird Jordans that no one's ever heard of before and his cut-off jean shorts that are skin tight into the Lambo in the little meeting room there and just throw terrible questions?

But I knew you wouldn't do that. And Aaron said you were good, man. Sure sounded like you thought I was going to do that, because that was a pretty descriptive little run you went on right there,. Hawk but I hypothetically yeah people were saying you thought people were saying you heard other people saying that and I I heard those uh whispers as well I heard those all around but going into that thing whenever you and I did it Sean Kelly the play-by-play guy he kind of led the conversation with them and we just kind of of piggybacked on the backside of it. I asked the dumb questions, you asked the real questions.

Going into this one, Kutcher was like, hey, you guys drive it, and then I'll ask questions going in. And Robert Smith didn't seem like he was much of an interviewer, so to be honest, it was just like a fucking podcast interview. I just had a full podcast conversation with Aaron Rodgers, and it was kind of cool to see the behind the scenes of that type of stuff because i assume that that happens with every nfl game i've never been in one of those it's very interesting to see both sides like the lions and

see the packers and there's like so much worries of like hey don't tell them we told you this you saw this you can't even mention that because i'm a guy that isn't much of a filter like i learned to be like to aaron rogers like yeah but matt patricia has openly said that he's gonna how are you gonna beat that it's like oh fuck can't say that got to keep that inside voices in there but it was fun yeah well you know sean kelly was doing a lot of production meetings he he did have a ton of questions and those are usually always like the analyst that runs it like that he's asking all the questions the play playwright play may have a couple at the end but uh yeah i could see i bet it was awesome i know that's why aaron had said it was like a nice change up for him you got to deal with real questions from you and not just probably the normal run-of-the-mill stuff that everyone else

has been throwing at him for 15 16 weeks i'll tell you what it meant a lot him and joe philbin both they opened the door into the meeting room and they just start laughing as soon as they saw me just oh yeah you were there right yeah i was with joe and i are very tight very very tight uh massage for 90 minutes in the same room together tight joe philbin and i is that in the facility or somewhere like outside off campus it was in another country actually it was in uh london oh okay all right well yeah joe's the man i was with joe for a long time i love that dude he's the most sarcastic dry humor dude in the world he's awesome yeah i'm sure i you said it took a little while to understand his humor didn't it yeah for me it literally it took until that london game which i think was damn near i don't know what it was middle of the season i didn't even know he talked i had no idea i just seen him on hard knocks and i told him right to

his face that uh this was one of my questions during that media thing right there to Joe Philbin. You probably the most drastic change in how I thought of you as an original human from seeing you on Hard Knocks, how terrible you were to coming around and really liking you. Probably the most drastic change I've ever experienced in my life have you seen that have you seen that agree mate he just started laughing he started laughing he said yeah i'm starting to be myself more he let into like a real answer to so it's kind of it was pretty cool i had a good time there i missed you there it's a roundabout compliment you gave him yeah well you know like joe you know he has no time for any garbage like millennial social media. He doesn't care less. He's not going to show his personality on that. He doesn't care about it.

But one-on-one and around the court, that's where I think he thrives. He really gets a kick out of it if you don't see him outwardly laughing. Yeah, that was the big thing. I just thought this was the most bland offensive line coach in history. And then we're in that. I've told this story a couple times. We're in that we're i've told the story a couple times we're in a massage room though in london in the hotel me venetarian joe philbin we were the only ones that didn't travel into the city on the friday night so we had the entire

place to ourself basically we're like oh let's get a massage because the tvs was shit it was uh we couldn't really do anything and we didn't even know joe philbin was in there i was just questioning these english people that were massaging us about everything. I mean, I had a lot of questions, a lot, a lot of questions. And Vinatieri and I were kind of just tag teaming the conversation there. And then I got on a hot run. I mean, I'm going to be honest. I don't think I've ever been that hot with the tongue.

I was in there. I was just dropping, bing, bang, boom, boom. International jokes, too. I mean, they were flying. And all of a sudden in the corner, I hear a laugh. I hear laugh and it's joe philbin standing up to get dressed to leave i had no idea he was even in there i was like holy shit we didn't even know you're in there sorry about that and his exact words were i've never gotten a massage with another person before but i hope i never get a massage without you again and i was like thanks joe we gave like a fist bump and he

walked out and it was from that moment forward, we started talking on a pretty regular basis at practice. Pretty regular basis. Good for you, man. Comes full circle. And then you call his last game as the interim head coach of the Packers. They scored zero points.

It was tough. It was very tough. But let's talk about you for a second. Please. What's up? Sure. You call college football games sometimes on a knee. You take a knee in the fucking booth.

You wear incredibly nice suits. You got great hair, good face. You're always working out. What is the end game for A.J. Hawk? You're already ridiculously rich. Everything in Columbus is free for you because you're an Ohio State legend. What is the end game for old A.J. what do you want to do the end game as in what like professionally as how many kids i want to have as what we know you want a whole fucking navy seal

unit of children we know that we understand that you have an issue just like phil rivers with pulling out and not just going for it every single time and i appreciate that because people with your genes need to procreate just in case there is another war we need more aj hawks out there just in case there is another war i respect that i'm talking professionally though when does aj hawk kind of do what is the goal professionally do you want to get like monday night football sunday night football do you want to get in that game do you like doing your shows? You have like a hundred different shows.

What is AJ Hawks life? Oh, that's a great question. I think I don't, I don't have like a vision board that I've read all my stuff. I don't have these goals. I write down a where I want to be. Like I'm super lucky right now. I watch football and I watch fighting. I talk about both of them for a living.

Like I do a show on Sirius XM a couple nights a week on an MMA channel. It's strictly MMA, no football, whatever. And then I bounce around doing football things everywhere. I'm serious. I have my own podcast. I call college games. I did a whole Adidas high school game system this year, getting a ton of reps doing games.

But also, I want to always call games. I want to be an analyst at the game. That's my number one thing i always want to do and always want to get bigger and get better and do better games but honestly other than that i don't have like a goal i go i want to be i want collins were to spot or i want to be where witness like i don't have a goal like that i don't i don't know what it is like i want to keep doing what i'm doing because like i said i'm lucky man like i get to talk about what I like. Stuff that I don't like, I don't talk about.

I can't fake it. I've had offers to do radio and different shows on things like fantasy football. I was like, bro, I wish I could fake it, but I have no passion for it, and I don't understand it, so no. Things like that, I don't have to say yes to. Like I said, I'm in a fortunate spot. I don have any main like couple goals out there like that i'm chasing the guy i wanted to get better calling games and everything i do i do a bunch of stuff i'm serious and it's fun man i do it all from my house so that's the best part about it i don't have to go anywhere that's my favorite

part yeah and you fucking plow through like seven cigars a day too it's unbelievable absolutely keeps me focused man probably a little bit like your little vitamin vape pen you have respect you saw me pull that thing out in jerry world what a move by me what a move that's the best part about like man i know i'm like a midwest dude like yeah and he talks these you see like 15 yearyear-olds in California, and they look at you like you're 100 years old if you didn't grow up eating edibles in third grade. And you just have that thing so casual wherever you are, like it's no big deal. I'm like, yeah, cool.

I was never going to question you. I feel like you carry yourself with that kind of swagger where it's like,'s going to question me just act as if then i honestly whenever i you should see in lambo is a whole nother animal because it was i mean we were standing there and it was the place was filled unlike jerry world which i got yelled at for saying but the the place was there was we were surrounded by people the booth right next to us in lambo is filled with people then they're less than a foot and a half away from me inside of glass though warm and then on the other side same thing and people in front of me and it was like right before the game was about to start i was like i'm probably not gonna be able to get one here for a little

while so i just pulled it out as if it was just like i was supposed to be doing it and i just put it back in my pocket. And everybody just didn't even know. Everybody just didn't even think twice about it. I was like, ah, I think we got away with that. Wait, was this right in the booth? Yeah. Not even in like the bathroom in the booth? Nah.

Good for you. Well, yeah, I mean, people walk around smoking tobacco vape pens all day. So that's all you have. Well, that's what it was. It was vitamins. I assume that's what yours was, yeah. Yeah, it was vitamins. Of course. I mean, people walk around smoking tobacco vape pens all day, so that's all you have. Well, that's what it was. It was vitamins. I assume that's what yours was, yeah. Yeah, it was vitamins. Of course.

I mean, come on. Honestly. I mean, it makes everything better. It tastes better. It's the vitamins. It's just the vitamins one. It's good. But yeah, I mean, that helps me out a lot.

There's a lot of different platforms now. You did some work with DAZN. The D-A-Z-N. You were in Green Bay. You're going to do a little bit more of that. You have the HawkCast. Are you a small business? Is the Hawk a small business over there?

No, I'm not like the Pat McAfee, Inc., small business owner, which you call it a small business. You can't call it a small business when you have an 80,000-square-foot warehouse where you guys just flirt around and shoot three-pointers and tip golf balls during the day and film it and create all this great content. That's not a small business. No, I am me. I just hang out, man.

I get to, I don't know, I get to talk about what I like. The thing is, you know how a lot of people, Pat, they want to get on, I don't know how you feel, but a lot of guys that I've worked with at different times or come across, they want to get on the first take type shows where they get on a panel and they're there five days a week and they just argue over whatever the topics are. And they have these hot takes that we all know about.

And I've done that every once in a while in studio shows. And I just don't care. There's so many things that I just don't have an opinion on. And I just don't care. There's so many things that I just don't have an opinion on. I think that Patrick Mahomes is better than Deshaun Watson. It was really hard for me not to be like, okay, man, well, that's your opinion. I was on that show.

It was really hard for me to be like. Isn't it terrible, man? It's tough. My brother-in-law, Brady Quinn, he loves doing that stuff. And he'll sit there and try to tell me. He'll ask me questions. And we do radio together. We'll host four-hour shows on the NFL channel.

I'm serious. And there'll be times when he brings up a certain topic or something, and I'm like, Brady, I don't care at all. I don't have an opinion one way or the other on this. Just move on. Let's get past it. And he loves to debate, and I think a lot of people do like to debate. I don't even like to debate stuff I'm passionate about. So when I don't care and someone's trying to make me take a side,

there's no chance I'm doing it. I talked to Orlovsky. It might be a quarterback thing. It might be a quarterback thing. I talked to Orlovsky. I was like, all right, Orlovsky. And this was a couple months ago, so this might have changed he was calling games and he was going on tv he was doing uh breakdowns of film and shit with the touch screen but then he was getting into a lot of debates i

mean i've seen his ass every fucking morning debating somebody so i was like yo do you like do you like calling games or you like waking up and just arguing with people and that was exactly what i said and he said i enjoy the debates like he said to me and then he broke down why he says because it makes him feel good whenever they win whenever it's like a winning point it makes him he feels like there's no winners there's no winners there pat the list the viewers the viewers are the winners the view no i mean i i get it dan's a smart dude he's all over the place it's really good but you're right maybe it's a quarterback thing.

I don't know. I just don't have an opinion on a lot of things. It's tough, man. It's tough to give a fuck. Do you, Pat? If they give you a rundown of eight things, we're going to talk about this. One thing I'm not arguing, I promise you that.

I'm very vocal about it when I do radio is when people try to dispute the GOAT's the greatest of all time all these in different sports i'd rather blow my head off like i'm not doing it there's no objective there's no answer so that i just i guess that's i should i i don't rule anything out but i doubt that i would be doing like a studio consistent studio show in the future hey we're about to get into who's the GOAT debate season here after football ends and there's nothing else to do. It's just that is the news cycle, the sports news cycle.

It's just, well, who has the best shoes? Well, if you look at these shoes, they've got a good high top, and they say, yeah, but when I put these shoes on, they make me taller. It's all the worst. But the hard thing is that people will watch it.

They'll be like, oh, man, these guys are such idiots. And they'll debate their buddies about what they were debating on TV. Did you see what the fuck Orlovsky was saying? It's unbelievable. It's a great business. I enjoyed it. It's just not my cup of tea. Who's going to?

No, it's smart. I would do it if I was one of the execs. I'd put it on there. People watch. I don't... Some of the shows. Some of the shows, I think. We'll probably have to edit that out, to be honest,

because I'm in fucking negotiations with every single one of them. AJ, who's going to win this weekend on this episode of Football Talk with Hawk? Who's going to win this weekend? Man, so, okay. Let's do it. Ram Saints. weekend on this episode of football talk with hawk who's gonna win this weekend man so okay let's ram saints oh boy that game is in new orleans so how many times have you played in the dome there pat i've played down there one time we lost by 45 yeah i think i've played there 12 times and lost 12 times like we we got blasted every time I was there. It's a tough place to play. It is because it's not the nicest dome.

It's not the nicest dome. But boy, whenever that who that nation starts who datting and yelling and just rolling in off of bourbon, I mean, it is a rompous atmosphere in there. And once that buzzsaw gets going, the Drew Brees buzzsaw, it is a It is a rompous atmosphere in there And once that buzzsaw gets a-going The Drew Brees buzzsaw It's tough to stop I don't know how the Rams beat the Saints Honestly, especially after

Rolling $200,000 in with the Lombardi Trophy Saying win three fucking games If you want that by Sean Payton You like that move? Yeah, sure, man Whatever motivates your guy Nothing motivates you athlete like money. I know that much.

And the only problem is he rolls in $200,000 in cash. And so I'm like, hey, coach, hey, take about $120,000 away for taxes, please. Like, someone should have done that at that moment. But guys don't want to worry about that. But you know what? If I had to pick, like if this was a hot cake show, I don't know why. Maybe I'm one of the people that's in awe of what McVay is doing. But I like the Rams.

I think if anyone could do it, the Rams could go in there and they could find a way to get a win. Just don't let the Saints get up on you. I've been there when we've been down like 10-0, 14-0 early. Once they get the momentum rolling, like you said, the crowd is crazy. It's just tough to get it back. So if the Rams have a decent start, I think the Rams can find a way to win. Yeah, and you're completely wrong because Sean Payton and the boys down in New Orleans,

they've been just working their tails off, really, ever since that fake punt. I feel like they have the scheme, the strategy, and the right players to go ahead and break through the walls of that Los Angeles Rams team headed up by Kid Genius. So everything you just said was stupid. Oh, yeah, we're debating. Is someone in the studio giving points to one of us right now? It was so hard to do that. I was trying to piece together that sentence there

to tell you you were stupid. It was getting difficult. I'm going to be honest. I'm not great at it. Normally a pretty good talker can't do that. Let's go to the AFC. Tom Brady's Tom Brady. Still Tom Brady.

Is that what we're saying? Man, look at you. Like, segue. You're like a legit host, Pat. Like, alright, on to the AFC now. You're really driving the ship. AJ. No shit. AJ. Jesus. This is episode, like, 6,000 for you, and you do things all over

the place, but yeah, I can't. Man, the Chiefs, it's going to be, people love to talk about the weather in Kansas City. What's it going to be like? Well, I feel like if it's cold, that helps the Patriots out even more. They're used to playing like that in Gillette Stadium. And the Patriots can run the ball now, too, man. So, like, they can beat you multiple different ways.

I mean, the Chiefs, obviously, their offense is great. But I think that I just have a hard time picking against the Patriots. It's like going to the national title game. I was like, man, I look at Alabama like I look at the Patriots. I just have a hard time picking against the Patriots. It's like going to the national title game. I was like, man, I look at Alabama like I look at the Poochers. I just have a hard time picking against them. There's just something about them. And they got smoked by Clemson. But I'm going to have to take the Patriots.

Did you see Tom Brady and his turtleneck after the game say to that very, the shorter lady, he said, everybody thinks we suck it'll be fun we'll see he said and with like a thing and then the many men song the day afterwards it feels like treadmill yeah it feels like they have so yeah on the treadmill looking at getting after it the day after by the way just fucking tom brady no days off hashtag but it feels like they have somehow convinced themselves that they're the underdogs in this whole thing. And they're the best dynasty in the history of the NFL.

It's incredible. Yeah, it is. I mean, Hey, whatever it takes. I know they say Tom Brady, all the great ones on the shoulder throughout the whole time when he was

drafted late, whatever, but they actually are legit with their, their three point underdogs. I think in this game. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean, they're probably nutspoint underdogs, I think, in this game. Yeah, it's unbelievable. That's nuts.

It's nuts. Who cares if it's on the road? Who gives a single fuck? Tom Brady has won more playoff games than any other quarterback has appeared in. I hate it. I hate it. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Because it's just they're so dumb. And the Patriots, anyone that watched last week, it looked like – it doesn't mean they're going to duplicate it next week in this game, but they looked like the Patriots of old almost, like Gronk Edelman's back. Gronk looked good. He's knocking people all over the place.

Tom looked amazing. They could run the ball. Their defense looks good. The Patriots, they know. When you're in a great team, the regular season is cool. Yeah, they're trying to win, but they don't freak out. Like, they understand, like, hey, all this stuff, it means nothing. Only our season starts in January.

Like, after the regular season's over. And the Patriots know that better than anybody. So that's why I love what they're doing. But Pat Mahomes, pretty good. Throws the ball from multiple different arm angles, Pat, in case you haven't heard when you watch the broadcast. Yeah, that's what everybody has been telling me is that Pat Mahomes is the second coming

of Rich Gannon. He's a guy that can really throw at any angle, but Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and that old guy up in the booth that's doing the stuff with the stuff, I think they're going to be pretty tough to beat. AJ, I appreciate you so much, man, for joining us. Thanks, man. Good to be with you. beat. AJ. I appreciate you so much, man, for joining us.

Thanks, man. Good to be with you. Did you hear what I sounded like there? Yeah, what were you doing? That's what you sounded like for like the last four minutes of that interview. I didn't know what you were doing. My bad. How do I?

I can't tell with my phone just doing that. I know. And you were on a roll. And it's not like I can interrupt you because you're on a set. It's just one of those. It's a technology problem. My bad. No, it's not your bad. You're on an incredible run And it's not like I can interrupt you because you're on a set. It's just one of those. It's a technology problem. No, it's not your bad. You're on an incredible run. This is not your fault.

We blame Tim Cook. Well, yeah, they haven't innovated anything. Nothing. Since old buddy died. Fucking nothing. They've done nothing since old buddy has died. Except for the AirPods. I'm a big fan of the AirPods.

I had them in today. Oh, no. Yeah? yeah yeah i wear them well yeah i got weird ears they don't fit they don't stay in okay can you put any headphones inside of your ear yeah i don't know is this is this on the show well now you keep taking a phone away from your mouth and we can't hear it anymore. I can't put... Hello, my phone has been stuck to my mouth this whole time. Hello. What? Honestly, if you're playing with me

and doing the delay on purpose, you're dead. Like, are you serious? What was that? All right. I mean, now I'm going to assume it's been on purpose while you're throwing the fake delay at me. So I don't even know if I can speak, but I assume we're still on the show. We are still on the show.

I think it's over now, man. I think we had a good run there. What do you think? Yeah, would you ask? You asked something, though, before you did the dumb fake delay to derail the whole combo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the AirPods are the only ones that go into my ear that can stay in my ear because I have weird-shaped ears. So any of the other ones that you're supposed to shove in there, I can't do.

I got to do the outer ear headphones until the AirPods are the only ones that have been able to, because I think they hook there down my face, down my jaw, whenever it comes out. It hooks onto my face, and I think that's why I like it, because it's the only headphone that I've been able to wear that doesn't have to be the full kit and caboodle. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, you got that nice, big, square, strong jaw so they i guess they know them just for you i've been dieting have you seen you've been checking out my jawline have you seen it on the internet it's been pretty good huh yeah that's what's all the that's the craze that's

what they talk about i've heard that and also have you have you tweeted out have you tweeted or instagrammed a picture of the the kind of cute might delete later situation? What? No. The whole meme's going around. I'm a thermostat, not a thermometer. Okay? I set the temperature on there. I don't tell it. You hear me? I don't know why I even asked you that.

I thought I might have seen you put a little weird, cheeky picture out. I did a 10-year challenge thing, so everything I just said in that statement is a complete lie because everybody else is doing it so i lied to you there what is the cute kind of cute may delete later what is that kind of cute might delete later it's like the whole memes going around i'm sure guys in there know it i'm sure foxy knows it foxy what is it yeah it's like a millennial thing. So girls will post a selfie, like kind of cute.

Might delete later. Oh, so it's like I want to put a picture up. Yes. That is what I would normally get roasted for. Exactly. But I might delete it. It's a good idea, by the way. Good PR move by whoever started that to kind of get the trend going. And like, I want to post a selfie of me without getting roasted by humans or judged.

So that's what it is. Have you posted one, Mr. Hawk? No, I have not. I'm trying to think of a good one. I figured, of course, you'd be on it, but it makes sense. Like you said, you're setting the tone. You're not following what everybody else is doing. I might do the ice bucket challenge here another week or two.

All right. Well, see you later man sounds good man sounds good i'll talk to you hey good luck with those kids i hope that eight-year-old did well through this whole time we talked for a little bit here i'm assuming i'm assuming everything's good the house isn't on fire yet so we're all good thank you would be wild you walk downstairs to an entire like crime scene basically where like maybe they just completely destroyed the kitchen uh just completely took everything out of the pantry maybe opened some bags i don't know if they are allowed to eat chips over there with how healthy you are but if they're allowed to eat chips they dump those what if there's just an entire like it what if an explosion has happened while this interview has happened is that on me or

is that on you no that's not on you pat but i mean honestly that happens probably three times a week or that kind of thing happens where you think you could trust them hey guys i'm just gonna i'm gonna go take a leak quick out back can i trust you can i trust you to give me all right yeah yeah dad we're good yeah you come back and they got lighters in their hand and everything is out of the cabinets and yeah of course they course, they eat chips, they eat brownies. They'll find Oreos they hid under their pillows. Yeah, things like that happen all the time. Dad of the year, bro.

Your dad of the year. Obviously not. Well, I mean, I think you survived this year. You did a full interview here all by yourself in a hotel with four children. I think that's a master's class. you know you do all you do is try just try pat whenever you have kids give them a hug tell them you love them that's all you gotta do keep them alive they'll be good when you talk to your kids don't give them the ipad that's easy just give them the ipad and then what they sit there for six hours what did they do smash the monkey what is it called what did they do they catch the pokemon did they learn

anything no what did you do you napped don't give him an ipad give him a hug chuck pagano pregame speech pregame speech night before like in the hotel he had a he was rolling Chuck Pagano is one of the most hilarious coaches I've ever heard speak and I mean that it's like a stand-up bit every time he got up in there and we talk about a little bit here on the show later but he was rolling rolling rolling and then something distracted him to a kid somehow he thought of somebody's kid and then his head just couldn't, he went into full like how to be a dad mode and it was like a seven minute detour.

Give him a hug, don't give him an iPad. And then all of a sudden we're back into tomorrow. It was a fucking, it was one of the most magical moments I've ever seen in a team meeting. I think I died laughing. I honestly think, I think he's gonna do well honestly think. I think he's going to do well in Chicago. I think he is. And I think the boys

are going to be flying around for him up there. Yeah, he's got enough talent on that defense man. I think they're going to be good. They're going to be good for a little while. It's going to be fun to watch. We'll see if they're better than your guy, Matt LaFleur. I'm excited to see if that works out. A.J. Hawk, Dad of the Year. That's Football Talk with the Hawk. Thanks, A.J.

Thank you. Hey, by the way not a bad segment there for you if you would like to take that to your small business and run with it football talk with the hawk he hung up huge shout out to aj hawk what a good conversation with old cuzzy there. He's the best. He really is. Every time he comes on here, I look forward to it. Because he has a dry sense of humor. He's a smart ass.

And he has a resume that lets him do whatever he wants. Right. He can say whatever he wants about football, and nobody can tell him any differently because his resume is one that can be stacked up against anybody. Yeah, that's what I told you. I wasn't that happy with the Packers hire. I saw AJ tweet that he was actually excited for it. I was like, huh, maybe I should reconsider because I respect AJ's opinion.

He was friends with the guy. Didn't even know him, he said. Had no idea he was a quarterback coach. I was just talking to this guy, good guy, head coach of the Packers. That's what he basically said. That's what AJ Hawks said. Shout out to him. And by the way, if you're going to play daddy duty to 400 kids like what he does

over there, you're going to be exhausted. Oh yeah. Especially after a 40 minute hard interview with me. I don't let people get out of here easy. No. I make them go through mental gymkhana if they want to get through a conversation with me. Be exhausted. You can be tired.

Maybe a little sleepy. A little dozy. A little nappy nap you're looking for i recommend that he gets the best mattress on planet earth so that when he wakes up he's recharged reset and recovered and re 80 ready to go i really thought was going to make it work there. In my brain, I saw the RE and I just went for it there. You know? Recover, recharge, reset, and then my brain just saw ready,

but we were in the re. You know what I mean? So that's tough. But you get it. Lisa's sleep is the only mattress that you need. And you don't have to go to the stupid mattress stores anymore. You know those mattress stores?'re stupid i agree what do you do you roll around and somebody else's sweat is this bed comfortable you have no idea you got like 45 people staring at you is this how it's going to be in your house maybe do you think state of mind could potentially be on whether

or not you're comfortable and now what you're rolling around in old Tommy's fucking sweat from two days ago that's in the same bed? No way. No way. Lisa did everything that they could to make sure that you never have to experience that disgustingness again. Lisa delivers the mattress right to your doorstep. That's all they do. And with this new program to make the world a better place, for every 10 that they they sell they give away one bed to somebody that doesn't have one they donate a mattress one in 10 program they've donated more than 31 000 mattresses and counting foxy yes sir just about a week ago maybe five days ago you got a chance

to showcase a math part of your brain yep that whole world doubted. It doesn't really exist. But you hit it right on the head. Yes, I did. One in 10 program. They've donated 31,000 mattresses, which means they've sold roughly 310,000 mattresses. I was still hoping that he would get that one. No, no, no. Yeah. I was hoping that there was a chance. I memorized that one. Oh, you memorized that? Yeah. So you didn't do the equation again, simply because you've already figured it out. You memorize the answer. That a boy.

That's how you do math. It's like when you cheat on something, you just memorize it. Absolutely. It's a test. Yeah, it is. And guess what?

You passed. Thank you. You know why you passed that test? Because. You're well rested. Because you sleep on a Lisa's sleep mattress. Lisa strives to leave the world better than they found it. And it doesn't stop with the mattress donations, the one in 10.

Together with the Arbor Day Foundation, huge holiday, Arbor Day. The Arbor Day Foundation, Lisa plants one tree for every mattress they sell. 310,000 trees, at least in counting. This is when they wrote the script. Who knows when it is? 310,000 trees added to this earth of ours. Hello, oxygen. You're welcome.

Is anybody thanking Lisa for the oxygen that we're breathing? Not that I know of. Wow. Wow. Arbor Day Foundation. Shout out. Start 2019 well-rested. Get $160 off a Lisa mattress at lisa.com slash McAfee.

And by the way, it is a forward slash it is a forward slash so what i learned on the internet after we had this very reasonable discussion that 90 of america would have on this particular thing if it looks as if the line is leaning forward, it's a forward slash. If it looks like the line is leaning backwards, it's a backwards slash. That makes sense. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. But I would think that if it was leaning forward, that's going from forward to back.

I agree. And then back to front is the other way. So that's not right, though. By the way everything if you're confused right now remember that little thing that little dash there is a little homie if he's leaning forward that's a forward slash little homies got a cholo lean back that's a motherfucking backslash all right forward slashes with the question mark shares shares the spot on the keyboard with the question mark okay there's next level right there.

There is next level. You get it. L-E-E-S-A dot com forward slash homies tipping the edge. Nope. Because he's leaning like one of them jumping skiers. This one right here. That's a good way to put it. That's exactly what he is.

He's the jumping skier that's in the air. Like, yes, just flying like a squirrel. Forward slash McAfee. he is he's the jumping skier that's in the air like yes just flying like a squirrel forward slash mcafee mcafee 160 american dollars off your mattress that shows up at your goddamn doorstep and a tree gets planted and you add to the one in ten program and your reset recharge recovered in re 80 with lisa lisa.com forward slash mcafee the nfl man that's right out of a movie that's always what chuck said chuck would always go like this is the nfl that was always always when we got on that tiny little fucking plane and we flew to buffalo it was the first game of the year it was our first plane so it was our first time traveling that year it was the first year that there was a new uh sheriff in the

building running things we get on this tiny little fucking plane tiny planes one of the it was it was one of those planes that have like three on one side three on the other and then he got an aisle down the middle and it was short and when a team travels it's all the front office it's all the sponsors there's some sponsors in there and then it's the entire team and the coaches and there's some vips in there if they pay so this plane was jam-packed costanzo sitting right behind me and costanzo is like six seven i think 300 and probably 40 pounds and he's on this in the aisle seat right behind me his right knee is just digging right into my back and then his left knee is like what i'm putting my arm on right like his left knee is right there and i turn around

and i'm like castanzo he's like i'm always uncomfortable like just trying to be like i'm like i'm like sort of looking around i'm like this is hey this is quite a downgrade from what we used to fly and we used to whenever we were winning we were flying in some bigger planes so as soon as we land as soon as we land chuck gets off the bus first and gregson gets off the bus first, and then I'm on bus three normally. It's me and Vinatieri in the front, and then the defense is right behind us, and we get off the bus first, and we go into the lobby of the hotel,

and I go to Chuck. He's got his sunglasses on and his headphones on, and I'm like, pull your fucking headphones out. He's like, we are not flying on that plane ever the fuck again. He was like, what? I was like, we are not flying on that plane ever the again he was like what i was we are not flying on that plane every this is the national football league man you got anthony costanzo wedged in a goddamn like a trident piece of gum with the same amount of space as the huntington bank people he's got to go to battle tomorrow and you got him just crammed in here why are we doing this he goes

oh you think i'm picking the plane then he puts his headphones back in and goes up to his room and vinatieri is like uh what do you say what do you say he just asked me if i thought he was picking the plane so then later that night and i thought maybe chuck like might have been pissed off at me for this, right? Because it was right in front of everybody. It was right in front of everybody that I did this. And everybody was on the same page as me, by the way. This is another situation where I just so happened to be the deliverer of the news.

That's what I love about Vinny. He's like, hey, what are you saying? What are you saying? Exactly. Vinny Terry's in the league for like 16 years at this point, 17 years. And he's like, what he said so then we go up to our rooms you get like two hours before we have a team meeting or whatever uh special teams meeting and then a team meeting and then all that shit so we go up to the room

i pass out i come back downstairs and me and vinnie are sitting at like uh one of our dinner tables which is normally connected to where the team meeting is. And me and Vinny are just sitting there, and Chuck comes and sits down next to me, and he's in like his athletic shorts, you know. And I was like, you preparing for that big speech tonight or what? It was the first week, you know. And he was like, oh, yeah, I've been waiting for this one.

You know, I'm ready to go. And I was like, did you do any writing on the plane, or were you too fucking uncomfortable on the plane? And he just goes, Jesus, is that never going to stop? No, Chuck stop no chuck this is me every day by the way just want to let you know that and he was like this is the nfl pat it was awesome he and i had a really good relationship until we didn't and then we got back he was a lot of fun at your comedy show. Yeah, dude. In Annapolis, man. I was like, this guy is the real deal as a human, you know? He's a stand-up comedian.

That's a football coach. I'm excited to tell you. You guys just got to. So for those that are listening, Chuck Pagano is going to be on this show next week, which is huge, by the way. That's a pretty gigantic get there right before. He's the new D coordinator for the Chicago Bears.

That's the reason why he can't come on the show today, by the way, is because he hasn't officially announced that he is the D coordinator for the Chicago Bears with the local press. And I 100% understand that he's got to talk to the local press first, so he's going to come on next week. And there was like a little 10 minute conversation I had with him. I hadn't talked to him in a while. And it was literally just like

it was just like we're right back in the locker room. And he's I'm excited for Chicago to get to know him. What is it? Chicagoans? Chicagoans, yeah. Sounds right. It's like You don't know? Yeah, Chicagoans. Somebody wrote Coloridians to me? Yeah, that's a real thing.

Just like Floridians. Yeah. But I'm reading it. I thought I was a fucking idiot. I was reading it. I was like, God. Colorid. What is that guy even saying right there?

And then he said, come. I started using context clues. He was like, come to. I thought that could have been like a store. I didn't know if it was a store. I had no idea. Because he didn't capitalize the C. So it was lowercase. Oh, I mean that could have been like a store. I didn't know if it was a store. I had no idea. Because he didn't capitalize the C. So it was lowercase.

Oh, I mean, yeah. That's on him. Yeah. I was questioning me, though, for a long time, but we got there. Colorado. Nailed it. Coloradians? Riddians, I think.

That's where Chuck's from, though, by the way. Boulder. Boulder, Colorado. What an awesome town. Go Buffs. I don't know if he played. Is that who he played for? He played. Boulder. Boulder, Colorado. What an awesome town. Go Buffs. I don't know if he played. Is that who he played for? He played for Wyoming. I thought he played for Wyoming, but he lives

now in, I think he has a house in Boise because he coached there. I went through his goddamn thing. That's a long list, his career. Yeah. Southern California, he started out as a GA. Then he went to University of Miami in Florida. By the way, anytime I mention Miami, to University of Miami in Florida uh by the way anytime I mention Miami it's the one in Florida Miami to GA then he goes to Boise ECU UNLV back

to ECU back to Miami to Cleveland you haven't really coached in the NFL until you get fired from Cleveland he did that goes to Oakland then he becomes North Carolina's D coordinator for one year becomes a Baltimore Ravens secondary coach then the Ravens D coordinator for one year, becomes a Baltimore Ravens secondary coach, then the Ravens D coordinator for a year, then Colts head coach, then he was working for the NFL, and now he's the Bears D coordinator. Jeez.

What a journey. Him and Tina just travel around. Yeah, been around. A lot of those fucking coaches. If you look at their Wikipedias, they've all had like fucking 20 jobs. And they stay so committed because once you get to that upper echelon,

there's a lot of fucking money there. Oh, yeah. A lot of money. And a lot of these dudes know nothing outside of football. No. It's like getting out of jail. Honestly.

Tom McMan, I'm going to ask him. That's why Bruce went back to coaching. He didn't know what the fuck to do. He was red. Red was here. That's what Bruce was about to do. Yes. Working in a grocery store

next to goddamn Trent Green and the other guy goes into his hotel room after the game and tries to hang himself. He didn't. I don't think anyone really thought he did. He probably felt pretty out of place there. There's some people that are listening to our show for the first time on a very regular basis

now for this show. Each show seems to be like that that i get some hilarious tweets from people and they first go through for us man the zito gets a good reaction from people what do you mean well they question if you're a real human they ask if you're a character you know like donnie baker or something like that they ask if you're a character and i don don't respond, but in my head I'm like, I don't think so. No, that's actually him. I often ask myself the same thing every time we come in here. I still think he is a character.

You think he's just playing somebody? Yeah, I mean, he lets Real Zito out every once in a while. And it's nothing like characters. I don't think I've ever seen him. Maybe whenever he's... You've got to spend a lot of time with him. Well, that's the thing is, I'm kind of always off doing something,

and then I see him and spurts and and I'm out, and I'm back. He's gimmicked 24-7. He's a really nice guy. Real Z is a really nice guy. Oh, my God. How about the brain, intelligent-wise? He's just a normal guy. Just a standard, basic-ass brain?

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, there are basic-level equivalencies that I don't think he meets. I don't know, man. You sit with him. There's a lot of, it'll surprise you. No, it's unique. There's some smart things that come out.

Yeah. I think. In its own way. I honestly think that he looks up the dumb things that he says. Like, I think he preps. I think he preps for the dumb things. People preps to be smart. I think preps to be dumb.

I will say, I did get a 23 on my ACT. Huh? I got a 23 on my ACT. That's not bad. That's pretty good. They told me to take another one, and I was like, no. Did you take on my ACT. Huh? I got a 23 on my ACT. That's not bad. That's pretty good. They told me to take another one, and I was like, no. Did you take the ACT? No, no, no.

I just know that it's pretty good. I don't know anything about it. We took the 1600 SAT. Yeah, the OGs. Back in our day. We took the 1600 SAT. That's the East Coast thing, though, right? I think I did really fucking good on it, by the way.

I think I did. Because we had a teacher that gave us, we had a calculator. Mrs. Rocket. Roquette. Roquette. by the way i think i did because we had a teacher that gave us um we had a calculator mrs rocket uh rockette everybody hated this lady everybody hated her but she was just a she was a looney tune that's what she was she was old as fuck she was old as shit lost her mind but she give you a ti texas instrument and she gets you to go ahead and just cheat code that entire sat if you paid attention to in her class at all, she gave you all the cheat codes. Yeah, it was nice.

I had her. She prepped our course the entire year to get ready to take the SATs. We told her all year, lady, we already took them. We took them to start the year. I don't know what to tell you. There might be one or two people in here retaking them,

but we're all set. Hilarious. Zito, what was your profession before you came here? My actual degree is Parks and Recreation. But what did you do? You had a regular job. I engineered light poles. Yeah, but you always, every time I called you, when you were working in the last profession,

you were always shirtless and in your room. Yeah, because I worked from home. I told them that I had a sick uncle out here, and they let me work from home. He does always finesse. Always finesses somebody. It's next level. Sick uncle.

Yeah, yeah, sure, go ahead. Engineering telephone poles, by the way. I don't even know if you have to engineer them at this point, right? 2019, those things are all figuring the fuck out. Do you plan where they go? Yeah, so you plan where they go, and then you put the attachments on there, so like the power box and all that stuff, the wires. One of my first times ever getting on a private plane,

it was a small one, a tiny little one. It was my original agent set up this flight for me from Nashville to Morgantown after a Thursday night football game in Tennessee. Thursday night football happens we win i go out with a bunch of people from nashville that i guess i knew at the time i don't really talk to them i don't know how i got linked up with them i have no clue and we guy wrote american honey the song american honey i don't know how i don't remember how i met him to be honest i think it was a um what's that sex is on fire group kings of leon yeah yeah yeah kings of leon kings of leon so i

went to a kings of leon concert played ping pong backstage smoked everybody met this guy he was writing he was either opening for kings of leon or doing something with them we kept in touch via somehow thursday night game happens i'm like hey i'm gonna stay the night in nashville i've never been in nashville was just gonna go kind of do it myself and we linked up and he had like a limo for me like we oh wow we went connected we went and did nashville that was the private uh there's like private clubs in nashville that it's only members only to get in because i assume there's so many country musicians. I couldn't remember what they look like,

but I was in there and I was having a night. I guess he ended up, he dropped me off back at the hotel. It was like 4 or 5 a.m. I had this flight at, I think it was like 8 or 9. And the only previous private plane time I'd had was with Peyton. And it was a good plane.

So I show up at where I'm supposed to show up at, which my old agent set up this flight with these two Italian guys from Pittsburgh who were going to drop me off in Morgantown on their way home. It's their plane. We get to the private plane place. I am terribly hungover. I think I ate a pretty large edible as well to kind of beat the hangover. And I walk out onto the private plane thing. I'm like, which one's ours, boys? I start walking towards like a regular-sized plane.

And it was a plane. It was over here to the left. Oh, man. And I was like, I looked at it, and I was like, I don't even know these guys. They're Italian, though. Gay, from Pittsburgh. Good guy, son. They're Italian though. Okay. From Pittsburgh. Good guys then. That's really up for debate. Nine out of ten.

Nine out of ten. True. Very true. I would say our Italian community in Pittsburgh are all good people, except for the ones that aren't. Yeah. Except for the ones that aren't. Except for the ones that aren't.

The 1%. Can't judge a whole community by a few guys. No. Too often we judge a community by their worst examples as opposed to the sum of the majority. Well said. I think George Bush said that, actually. I think he did.

Well, somebody wrote it. He said it, though. You know what I mean? This plane ain't designed for comfort. Usually the passengers don't actually make it to where we're going. Yeah. So there it is. So we get on.

So I have to turn left to this plane. At this moment, I just met these guys. My agent who set it up, he took a regular plane home. So it's me just meeting these random guys walking onto this tiny plane. And I had a pretty large edible. And I started having a moment with myself. I was like, no, no, this ain't how it ends, bro. So right before we get on a plane, they asked me how much I weigh and stuff like that. It's the first time I'd ever been on a

plane that asked me how much I weigh and how much my bag weighs. And I'm like, I'm not getting on this fucking plane. So I look on my phone. If there's any flights from like the commercial from Nashville to Morgantown or Nashville to Pittsburgh. No flights out of that Nashville area. I mean, there's next to no flights. So I had a moment there where I had to get on this plane. So I get on this plane and I'm sitting up there and I see the guy. I mean, I'm sitting basically behind the driver, you know, mean I'm sitting basically behind the driver You know and then Somebody's sitting shotgun on the plane and then somebody's sitting

Backseat there's two of us backseat Headphones on so I can hear everybody Talking it's a Situation you guys know you did this to meet Mason And we get up there And the one guy the Italian guy The one Italian guy looks Me and goes

Oh you see that path there i made that path and i was like real and i looked down and it was just out in the middle of the woods it was a bunch of telephone poles with wires through like the forest he was like yeah i i basically shred all these trees and chop up trees and make them all disappear and kind of just made it happen so in my head in my head okay okay, I'm like, this guy, this guy definitely takes bodies and throws them. Puts them in the wood chip.

That doesn't make him a bad guy, though. No, no. Well, it depends on who you're asking. If you're the guy going into the wood chip, you say that guy's a bad guy. They deserved it. So now my mind, in the plane, every single wind gust that's happening over said forest that has been cleaned out by the wood chippers

going up and down. So now I'm either dying from a plane crash or from a wood chipper. Right. And I am full on in the middle of an edible trip. And we finally get to where Morgantown is. I see it on the little thing. They like a little dot on their little screen and they're like oh it can't land right now and i was like this is it this is it i'm i'm completely dead and i we land i kiss the ground kiss the

ground like the fucking pope yeah uh. I think Reed picked me up. One of my college roommates picked me up and he saw me like kissing the ground and I get into his car and I'm like, I thought it was over, man. I thought it was fucking over. He was like, what are you talking about? I was like, I thought I was going to have been a fucking wood chipper or a goddamn down. And he was like, tell me about it. Stud. So I started telling him about it and he was like that guy definitely

said that just to fuck with you and i was like uh what do you mean he was like well if i had a guy that was just tripping balls like you are right now you can't even open your fucking eyes i would definitely tell him that i'd potentially murder people and i was like ah good for that guy and i never talked to that guy again but i would like to give him a compliment for fucking me i think it's i think that was real i think it's really what he does. Yeah. He seemed confident. He knew exactly what it was.

He was like, whenever it's this type of tree, it's a little, someone's got to do it. Yeah. You don't know if he, he probably not killing them. He's just getting rid of the body.

He was, he was a nice guy too. They were a real nice guy. I don't think I ever properly thanked them. I got out of the plane and I get down on my knees and just start kissing it, and I'm like, yeah, great flight, guys. Just the fact that he had to make his own runway

was a little suspect. Why don't you use the asphalt? No, no, it was the telephone pole. No, it was Hayes. It was Hayes. There was a big, the telephone pole led me to this story. That's the difference between this show and any other show. Cito Engineer's telephone pole is in my head.

I immediately thought at the time I was in a plane with two Italians thinking I was dead because he clears wires for telephone poles. He clears trees. He clears the path. Oh, so they can run the line. Like railroad tracks, you have to clear out all the trees. Makes sense. He does that for the telephone poles and shit. He's a good guy.

I honestly don't know if I've ever thanked him. You just did, and they're listening. I completely forgot that it happened until just then. Because I thought of you fucking building one of those telephone poles. And I was like, look at little Zito down there. And if I would have seen that while looking out the plane, I probably would have had a moment of happiness. Instead of pure fear.

You put the transformers on there, too? No, no. Yeah, it's like through the CAD program. I would put all this stuff, and then we'd give it to our actual people. So you drew it. have happened you've said a pure fear you put the transformers on there too no no so yeah so like through the cad program i would put all the stuff and then we give it to like our actual like the people yeah so you drew it so they know where to place it exactly you just did drawings all can you imagine like my balls though they're like 80 like right i was gonna ask that i was 80 you're giving yourself 75 you get it yeah you got it. So you're just screenshotting other telephone poles? No, it gets really deep into it,

but every street has its own clearance, and you've got to put the pole in a certain spot, and how deep the pole goes. How the fuck do you get into this? I actually don't know. I think I just showed up one time. For what? I could probably put a few sticks in the ground right here on my computer.

I hated running softball leagues. It got too boring, and I was just in a desk the whole time. Well, that's his Parks and Rec degree. It led him to that, and then he went to Nicklaus. It was an incredible segue. I hated running softball leagues, so I started. Where did that come from? Yeah, well, everybody knows that there's indicator reads for things.

Okay? If you're rolling dice and a five comes, a nine's probably coming next. If you quit making softball leagues, you go build tokens. They're just indicators. You know what I mean? If this, then this. If this, then this. Correct.

That's exactly how it was. It's true. It's true. It's absolutely. Pretty huge football games coming in this week. Correct. I think we're talking to a football player later. Okay. I don't know which one.

I'm going to try to get A.J. Hawk on the line. There you go. I haven't talked to A.J. in a while. It's been too long. I need a dose of A.J. Hawk in my life. I guess DAZN was thinking about doing something with us Super Bowl week. You and A.J.? Yeah, I don't know if it's me and A.J.

I don't know what it's going to be. He's done work with DAZN. I know DAZN has reached out to me to do some stuff. So that's kind of me just assuming that they're going to put us together. But I don't know. Why not? If you're listening. Yeah, if you're listening, it seems like me and A.J. do okay.

I don't know if I've agreed to that deal, by the way. That's happened on the show a couple times where I've said somebody has made me an offer. Correct. And then it goes viral that I signed the deal. And then a publicly traded company is calling me, yelling at me while I'm in the only hotel in Lambeau. In Green Bay, Wisconsin.

It's a lot to keep track of. What do you want me to do? Hey, listen. I'm just telling my life here. It was literally a throwaway line in the podcast. Me too. I was trying to get to the Green Bay game. By the way, they offered me a deal.

That's awesome. Dream come true. Anyways, this weekend, it was a throwaway line for me. That just shows how honest you are with the listeners. Yeah. Well, that's what a podcast is, I think. Yeah. That's the purpose of a podcast.

Yeah, you're just living life and reporting it. We've never lied. We do. That's what I'm saying. I've never lied. You said you've never lied. We do. That's what I'm saying. I have never lied. You said you've never lied? There was a time where you on the show were known as like false facts dicks. Yeah, but that wasn't a lie.

I thought they were true. You think that still happens? Yeah. I feel like the village idiot thing is kind of about tossed over a room. The torch has moved on. All hail the king. All hail the king. All hail the king. Hey, Throners coming back, huh?

Game of Thrones. Two-hour episodes. They're trying to fucking ruin it, aren't they? No. Oh, they have to. Last season. They're going to fit a lot of... There's a lot of story left.

There's literally a movie every fucking weekend. Well, that's... I guess the actors and actresses are like, yeah, we were miserable by the end of that thing. Long shoots. They're getting paid a fine. What's that, you? Very long shoots. I should put my headphones on. Said they were taking certain episodes, just

scenes of certain episodes took upwards of 50 to 60 days to film. Oh, that's awesome. They got a perfectionist in there running out there? Oh, a little OCD guy running the thrones. Why it's so good. And then all those actors get launched in the multi-million dollar acting careers.

All of them are getting movies out of it. Rob Stark was just in Bodyguard. Game of Thrones is the biggest thing out there for you guys. It really is. Whenever Game of Thrones comes on, people change. It's a whole different thing. People become Throners. It's legit.

It's something everyone talks about for two months. It's tough. I'm going about for two months it's tough i'm gonna be honest it's tough and somebody that hasn't watched and i will i can't catch up did you try last time try my best it was the first episode because you guys were all jacked up everybody was jacked up about a game of thrones game of thrones game of thrones what is it season 11 7 8 you guys big time throners it's 8 it's 8 it's season 8 right now it's going to be season 8 so So the last one, season seven? Yeah. I did it just like I did the Infinity Games. Yeah, I did it just like I did the Infinity Games.

You get it. No, you actually combined the new movie with each other. That's amazing. Who? The new movie's called Endgame. The one where the cuzzy does this at the end. Infinity Wars, yeah. And then Samuel L. Jackson shows up?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's in every one. You wouldn't know that, though, because you jumped in. So I did that with Game of Thrones. I tried my best there for a little bit. And then when that goddamn dragon hopped out and it flew, I was like, what the fuck are we doing?

Yeah. You might have liked the early ones, because it's like a political drama in a different setting. Now, it's like towards the end, they had to get more fantastical and ramp it up. It's just like Entourage, right? Entourage started out as something you could see happening, and then they were like, well, now we're in fucking season four, and we never thought we were going to get here. So we just have to make everything up.

That's what happened with Game of Thrones. They started adding on, adding on, adding on. Well, did they follow the books? Pretty much. They loosely followed a series of books, but they passed them. So now it's to the point where they're kind of just making it up on their own. Have you read the Game of Thrones books? I have, yeah.

Jesus Christ. They're like 4,000 pages. Ty, you have? Mm-hmm. Good stuff. Oh, my God, dude. Chris D'Elia, I just saw him do something on his podcast. Chris Long reposted it.

Chris D'Elia said, if somebody ever sends you a text that says, tell me when you have a moment for a call, it's too long to text, let them know that there are books out there that are thousands of pages long. It is not too long to text. It is not. It was hilarious hilarious did you go see him no it was too expensive i love him but i'm not paying 120 to go see him i i i would be interested to see the business side behind that because it's worth thinking about going on a tour and by we i mean i'm starting to put it in motion here uh the boys will be with me obviously started putting in motion kind of keep it moving and i put out a post on the instagram it was like hey comment below with a city that you would like to see us come

through dallas showed the fuck up i saw a fuck ton of dallas yeah hey i love that dallas showed up there i had no idea got a couple couple Canadian cousins that wanted in up there. Fairfax or something like that. But Dallas was the most mind-blowing to me. I'm like, Dallas. There was a lot of Dallas's. I saw them all through there. Let's go.

Cool-ass city. It is. I've never been. We used to get a lot of people from Texas calling in for the radio show. That kind of makes sense. It does make sense. So that'll be a good time down there. But the business behind going on tour is an interesting one.

It is a very, very, very, very, very interesting one. And I mean that as somebody who is just, all I do is rent the theater and sell the tickets myself. So it's literally me trying to figure out the best pricing so that we don't, we want everybody to be like, yeah, that was worth it. That was the right pricing for it. So the goal for those listening the people that are going to be paying the most probably don't

listen to the show anyways they're just buying tickets to my show so they can flex with their girls or whoever they're with on the instagram we upped the price of the vip people now granted they get like a fucking three-hour meet and greet because i don't shut up normally i talk to everybody and they get a picture. But we up the price of the VIP tickets so that we can keep the price of the rest of the room down. So basically we add an extra $25 onto the VIP tickets so that we can keep the rest of the room down $10

than what we have to so that it's a profitable trip for everybody. And that is a way to get a crowd in there that you want. I did a show where somebody else priced it and i was just like making an appearance basically and they had a price so high and the crowd was just not the crowd that i i want a crowd that's like hey we're here to have this is going to be a house party basically and i'm just going to be telling you stories my friends are going to be telling you stories we're going to be drinking some beers

here i want a group that is not interactive because if I'm telling a story, just chill the fuck out. You'll feel it out when you should be talking. Feel it out when you should be talking. And also with Todd too. I mean, there are some times where people were chirping

in the middle of Todd's stories at that last show where I was like, ah, Todd's about to hit the punchline. You know, fucking C27F, the row F just fucked all completely over. But the business side is very interesting. Whenever you get into that where you're like, all right, we still got to keep a good atmosphere in there, but we also need to make enough money so we could pay everybody and everything.

So it's a fine balance. And Chris D'Elia was just like, no, fuck it. We're going to have $150 and $65 tickets. It was insane. Yeah. But if you're selling 2 000 of those tickets and chris lee is a funny fucking guy i'd assume he's like i don't care who's in here if they're paying that amount of money they're gonna have a good fucking show other ones that i saw a lot of

minnesota charlotte philly and the dmv so charlotte's a big west virginia grad city okay so you go to west virginia then somehow you end up at surprise me a little bit so i don't know how i honestly have no it may be a bunch of alumni from wvu have started businesses in charlotte they hire i don't know how that works because i think there's a lot of schools that have cities that normally the alumni very nice charlotte i'm a big fan of charlotte been down there numerous times i'm a big fan of charlotte but i think that's a wvu pipeline almost that's a hell of a drive it's a big uh it's a big pittsburgh pipeline too a lot of people from pittsburgh move down to charlotte it's the weather it's a hell of a drive if we were to do a tour oh we're driving oh i want to i want to do the burt kreischer's on a tour right now he's got

a bus and a good looking bus isn't he good, man. Yeah, absolutely. Bert's been grinding, grinding, grinding. He shows too much of himself. He's always shirtless. Always. No, no, I don't mind that. It's like when he gets on his IG story and he gets comfortable and he's getting bored and he just starts showing his ass and like,

he gets in his pool naked. Hey, I'm like Bert. I'm here to laugh, man. I don't want to see your fucking shit, bro. I think his tour's name is Body Shots.

World Tour, yeah. I would like to know why it's World. Like, is he doing one show in Europe? I love Burt. Anywhere in Canada. Burt's show is probably pretty similar to ours, I'd assume. His podcast? No, no, the stand-up show.

Now, granted, he's the machine, obviously, and he is shirtless up there. Yeah, he used to do those shows that were like, he called them something like, play hooky from work or take the day off work. And it would be like a Friday show at noon. And he would just go on stage, drink beers, take his shirt off. I'm like, who's going to this?

And tell stories. Or skip at work. The guy can drink an incredible amount of vodka. I mean, mason jars. Yeah, I mean, he's got that fucking story. He partied with the Russian mafia. He what? He robbed his own fucking class with the russian mafia while slamming vodka the real van wilder i love but i assume his shows are much like a party like hey let's have a good time very much

yeah in that way it's very similar because he is one who appreciates the fact people came so he will party afterward and hang out. And that is the thing. It's like if somebody's going to pay for a ticket, I want them to feel good about the price that they're paying. I want you to feel good about the price that you're paying so that there isn't a... I'm trying to fight the battle of after the...

I'm trying to set expectations. So I'm not going to make this a $500. You're not going to see a fucking violinist up here, okay? This is not a classically trained pianist up here going to work where they've been slaving their entire lives on the fucking, what are those called? Ivory? Yeah.

Yeah, they've been slaving on the ivory their entire life since their children getting whipped in there. It's like we're going to, 25 bucks, 20 bucks for the crowd, and then we get the VIPs for like the 200 bucks because they're going to, we're 25 bucks, 20 bucks for the crowd. And then we get the VIPs for like the 200 bucks. Cause they're going to pay it anyways. And they don't even know, but they're doing a service to the entire city. When you buy that VIP ticket,

you were doing a service to everybody else in the room because you're eating up any of the prices that we have to raise for the back. Correct. And I think it's smart, by the way. I think it's smart. I like it. I think it's smart business wise. You still tossing around the, uh, eat and greet idea. I think so. That, by the way. I think it's smart business-wise.

You still tossing around the eat and greet idea? I think so. That's the best idea of all time. Zac Brown Band nailed it. They nailed it. They absolutely nailed it. You do these meet and greets, and they're always terribly uncomfortable. Sure.

They're always terribly awkward because it's a small talk conversation. I want you to feel as if we're having a long conversation, but then there's always a time limit. And then we got, there's always a time limit and I got a whole line of people. So I feel bad. I'm like, how you paid so much fucking money for this.

I am so sorry, but there's like a line of 39 people, right? But literally 39, we did the math. Yeah. I actually picked how many people you have 40 here. There's 39 people behind you. So we got to do this.

So it's tough. The eat and greet thing you get a chance to meet everybody conversation has to move because the food has to keep going and you get more people in there yeah genius in my head though you're gonna hate it because if people are chewing and you know they're just getting their food oh and then you see zito did this to us one night when we were out uh we were enjoying a nice dinner, had a few drinks. We were kind of intoxicated late in the night. These people came up and Zito invited them over

to sit at the table with us and hang out and eat with us. He even took food off of our plate and gave it to them. We ordered some appetizers for them. They were a bunch of barn animals too, the way they were chewing. Oh, yeah. It was a meet and greet. It was an eat and greet.

For Zito. Two of the way they were chewing. Oh, yeah. It was a meet and greet. It was an eat and greet. It was an eat and greet. For Zito. Oh, God. That was a bad night. Zito, what would you serve? What would you serve in a buffet? Let's say it's a buffet style where the boys each have a piece of meat or a piece of food. Yeah.

And it's in your dish. You can spoon it, fork it, however you want to do it. People are coming in a line. Probably paper plates, I'd assume. Paper plates. Double stack, though, because that's civilized. Anybody that forces you to use just one paper plate, probably a terrorist.

Once you get a nice strong one, they're out there. They are out there, but still, if you're doing anything with any juices, you've got a chance to really, really ruin your day. Yeah, I agree. Your pants, your hand, your table. Double it up. In my head, I'm going to do a taco bar and I'm going to be the guacamole guy.

A taco bar. You yourself are going to do a taco bar. But you're only doing the guacamole. Other people are doing their stuff. What are you dipping into? So you just decided that our buffet is going to be a taco bar. You completely missed the question. I would love a taco bar. You just completely missed the question. No, no. We'll put Zito's taco bar. You completely missed the question. I would love a taco bar. Just completely missed the question.

No, no. We'll put Zito's taco bar. You can have your own little taco bar. But you have to run all of them. You have to run everything. No, no, no. We'll make Nick go over there with him. Nick will have to be a part of the taco bar.

I'll sling some ground beef. I was thinking like literally everyone likes the wok guy. You know what I'm saying? Like they always like the person who puts more wok on their plate. So I'm going to be like. Is it like whip cream? Is that what wok is? I thought you were talking about stir fry, like wok.

Yeah, I did wok. No, no, he's talking about guac. Yeah. Oh, am I saying it wrong? Yeah, absolutely you are. Guac. You looked this up, didn't you? See, this is what I'm talking about.

Yeah, this is for sure. He looked this up. He heard guacamole, but in his head he was like, ooh, that's easily guacamole. And he locks it in, and he's like, I'm busting that out. How do I get there? And he's like, ooh, taco stand. Yeah oh that's easily guacamole and he locks it in and he's like I'm busting that out how do I get there and he's like

oh taco stand yeah that's how I get there taco bar and that's what you did maybe you open a restaurant and it's called guacamole oh with a couple avocados

dancing on the side and then a guacamole machine yeah you gotta hit the little mole when he pops out oh you get a discount get it yeah for sure

you just walk down the station if you want it you hit the mole with he pops out. Oh, you get a discount to get it? Yeah, for sure. You just walk down the station. If you want it, you hit the mole with a hammer. If you don't, you just pass it by. Yeah, I like that. We should dump that. By the way, I have a huge rat underneath my deck. Ginormous. What?

It might as well be a beaver. Okay, so we learned the other... The mole thing. By the way, beavers, incredible engineers. Incredible. Maybe get them to work on that deck. If you want to build it up a little bit sturdy, maybe make it bigger. We talked the other day.

This is domesticated digs, right? Domesticated digs has fully moved into a house with his lady. She forced him to shovel his driveway, which is gravel. Half grass, half gravel. Seven inches of snow the other day. He's just, okay, we got snow. We got ice. All right, there's our driveway.

The gravel is now in the front yard. When you ask me to cut the grass in the spring, this is going to come back and fucking get us. There's something to think. Because you're literally picking up rocks there and throwing them into the... Luckily, they've been pounded down by so many years. What was the exact conversation like?

Was it cobblestone? When she asked you to shovel the driveway. You know the driveways where the tire the tire marks are gravel and then in between is like grass it's like one of those yeah yeah okay so it is like a like a trail almost it was basically like she's like are you gonna show so she's like well you shovel when you get home by the way she'll probably listen to this yeah it's fine no she doesn't listen at all probably smart she's like she's like well you shovel when you get home. And I'm like, yeah. She's like, I bought salt.

I was like, yeah, no problem. So I get home, and I was expecting to shovel the sidewalk. That would make sense. And I get home, and her car's parked on the street into the driveway. And she's on the front porch. And I'm like, you want me to shovel the driveway? Oh, no. She's like, yeah, what do you think I meant?

I was like, the front porch. And she's like, what, are you going to walk through the snow to our cars? I'm like, yeah, what do you think I meant? I was like, the front porch. She's like, what, are we going to walk through the snow to our cars? Yeah. Exactly what we're going to do. Exactly what we're going to do. Instead, I had to be very delicate with this shovel. I was performing surgery for 30 feet to just leave half an inch there. So it's all trampled down snow, but we're not getting it on our pants and shit.

Domesticated digs might be my favorite digs. I'm buying 10 bags of salt for this weekend's 12 inches, and I'm going to throw salt down every hour. Hey, I love that you're the snow guy, by the way, because of this situation. Yeah, yeah. The group text lights up last night. Diggs with a friendly heads up. Hey, this is Weatherman Diggs letting you know potential foot of snow

coming on Saturday. Get the fucking shovels ready. I'm also a big weather guy. I'm also a big snowstorm guy. You are. I love snowstorms, love weather. I do too, man. I was thinking about that this morning

while I was getting in my truck. I was walking through snow a little bit. I was like, I know you're probably, I get sick of it like everybody else does. But man, I enjoy the first snow. I really do enjoy the first snow. I love seeing just how much it is and it's also the best excuse to literally do nothing all weekend.

There's nothing better than canceling plans. That snow is canceled plans for you, so it's not even on you. By the way, top five thing to do is cancel plans. Yeah, it really is. My new thing is just saying no immediately. Instead of canceling plans. I think that's the most mature thing that I've done in my life.

It is. Yeah, it is more mature, but I don't know if it's as fun. Well, my entire life. It can be. I have had to cancel plans or show up later, things like that, strictly because A, I'm either somewhere else, B, I don't want to go. Now I've got to the point where I'm like, I'm out. Not going to do it.

No one's been canceled on more than Nick by me. Probably. I don't mind it though. I understand it because I learned early on too. If I don't want to do something, I'm not going to force myself to go do it for your benefit. I'm just not going to go. And I'm going to tell you no right up front. There comes a time. That's nice that you have that. It took me a long time to get to that.

By the way, I was always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it would get to the time. It's much easier to text than do it in person to their face i do the oh yeah chances are i'm not gonna be able to make it because i'm sure there's something i'm not thinking of let me go through my emails i'm sure there's something going on there because in my head i think we have something that weekend but and then yeah see and then that became a pet peeve of mine because i think i'm the way i am where i'm just like no i don't want to do that so yeah and i'm not gonna tell you i am and i'm not right it's tough for me to back out of anything though and i think that's why i started saying no

because i couldn't cancel plans anymore got to the point where i couldn't cancel plans anymore because if i canceled the plans i was probably gonna ruin somebody's fucking night so i was like well i can't do that anymore oh uh pat you you still stopping by insert name uh place here um remember uh four riley children's hospital kids are here uh waiting for you to say hello i'm like let me get out of this fucking bed that's a little slightly different the things you get invited to are also a little bit of a different perspective. That was years ago, though. That was years ago. Now, when people ask me, I'm like,

I have no idea what I'm going to be doing with my life on that day. If I can make it, text me. The day of, if I can make it, I will. If not, I'm out. That's my new thing. Because it's true. Yeah, it's true.

Stuff comes up literally hours before it happens. I mean, chuck was supposed to be interviewed today and then what two minutes before we go live he's like can't do it but but that's a real thing so that's my new one and it's true and i think a lot of people think i'm just foolish it's like a new phone who this type thing but it's real it's like i have no idea what i'm gonna be doing somebody asked me to do something in september i laughed i fucking sent a laughing emoji back are you kidding me what do you want me to commit to something in september right now what is it it's february not even it's not even february no middle of january there's no chance there's no way i have a single fucking clue what's going on in september your schedule

changes a week before like that's literally like your days. In the amount of things that are potentially being... I'm drowning in opportunity over here. It's Mark Cuban's line. It's a good line by Mark Cuban. But there's all these different potential paths for me to go on.

I go to bed and I have no fucking idea what's going to happen in three weeks. And somebody's like, hey, how about September 21st? Can we lock you down for four hours to do this? And I'm like, no, bro. I have no fucking idea what's going to happen next week. What do you mean? I have no fucking idea what's going to happen.

I think I'm going to the Super Bowl. I might be doing a fucking coin toss at the Super Bowl. When we would travel, Pat sometimes would text us at like 10 p.m. the night before and be like, hey, airport tomorrow, 8 a.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time. All the time. You know what?

Now you know how sales is like. It's literally fucking 10 people telling you maybe you might have this, you might have this, and then one fucking thing comes in. Yeah, well, that's kind of what it – I mean, that conversation we were having at that one company, that they basically forced us to put our our company our business on hold for them yeah everything everything went on hold for this company which by the way was a completely different trajectory of our company yeah like we had to do a lot of strategy we're like oh this is

a different plan and then all of a sudden it's like oh well this is what and i sent a laughing emoji to them too that's been my new it's been my new thing is just like the fuck out of you you literally fucking did the demo gave a proposal and then they just said no at the end no they said yes that would be like in the sales thing being like yeah we're gonna pay for uh 1 20th of the product we think you give that to us and then 10 other things as well your responses are the best too because you'll read them out loud to all of us make sure we know too and they're fucking awesome well i just assume that all my answers at some point are going to get screenshot and put on the internet if they do i

want people to be like yo dude's a fucking sack that's all i want them to do that's what i want that's what i want because i i did that with i was with an agency whenever i was in the nfl and i uh fired them yeah because it was i was so low on their totem pole of importance because a punter salary is nowhere near what any everybody else everybody else's salary could be so i sent them a firing letter that I had to send the NFLPA and them. And I made it this sitcom, basically, about us breaking up. Basically, like, it's not you, it's me.

And then I explained our entire relationship and how they started to treat me and how I felt. And then I dropped a PS. I'll keep the goddamn dog. I sent it to the NFLPA and I just thought of like the lawyer at the NFLPA that was reading that that was like is this serious?

Did somebody call McAfee to see if he just fired Rosenhaus like that? See if that is how he fired Drew Rosenhaus? He probably made that guy's day though. He probably reads all those letters all the time and plays it plain and boring. Well, I just assumed that it would get screenshotted at some point. At some point, everything.

Nick wrote about this whenever the fucking hockey players got in trouble in their Uber for talking shit in public. I have had the mindset that everything I say and do and type is going to get screenshotted and sent to the public for years now and obviously it might have come off as if i was um what's that called uh arrogant or no no no not arrogant it's paranoid paranoid there it is that's the word as if i was paranoid a lot of people thought as if i was potentially paranoid because people would say things around me and i'd be like oh like i don't want to be associated with that conversation don't even come back hey excuse me around me and I'd be like, ooh, ooh. I don't even want to be associated with that conversation. Don't even. That's going to come back to bite somebody. Hey, excuse me. Excuse me.

And if there was a situation that happened, if I thought there was going to be a potential book written about it, I would always say things and then tell people like, hey, if this becomes a book, I would like it to be known that I said we should go look for this guy. That was one of my favorite things. One of my favorite things. Yeah, I thought you meant like if I do it this way, it's going to come off as arrogant,

so I got to possibly go the other direction in case somebody else sees it. No, no, I was paranoid that everything was just, everything that I, because it got to the point here in Indy where everything I was doing, people were taking pictures of me peeing. When somebody recorded me peeing and then posted it,

and this was whenever I had like maybe 5,400 followers on Twitter, that was an entire moment that changed for me. I was like, well, here we go. We're going to do this. We're going to do this. I just have a Derek Rose. He was using the public bathroom and someone just like filmed him.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's so fucking weird, man. It's so weird. It's very weird. Hey, you, me, Peyton Manning, Kanye West, we all poop the same. We all poop the goddamn same. Kanye, his shit doesn't stink. Everybody else's does.

Did you say Kim had to come out and protect him? Because he was protecting R. Kelly or Sting? Oh, yeah. It's about time Kris Jenner's telling Kim to get out of there, right? She's pregnant with her fourth kid, too. Is she having this one or is it a fucking surrogate again? I don't even know what that means. Well, their last kid, she didn't have it.

That's an interesting little thing. If you make money off of your body being in shape, pregnancy is probably your number one enemy, right? Very tough. But when you make money off of offspring, that's kind of a tough, that's an interesting

situation to be in. Well, it's still technically their DNA because it's her egg and sperm. They just put it inside another human. Yep. People make a full business out of carrying babies for people. You're just a host. If I was a

successful woman. And hang out for nine months? Dream job. Ah, Diggs, I feel like you're going to catch some shit for that. Dream job giving birth. You're like an Airbnb for some famous person's baby. Besides that last 24 hours. Need a nine-month rental right there in your ovary. Yeah, I'll get something for that.

What do you pay that person? Thousands of dollars. Yeah, I think it's very expensive. I'm sure she paid hundreds of dollars. Well, that's her whole year's salary there because they can't drink. They're giving up everything. They can't work. They got to eat right.

They live in their house probably. No, they probably have their own place, I would assume. I'm sure in their mansion, they probably had their own wing. I'd say it's a $100,000 job though, I assume. Something like that probably. Sign me up. Sounds fair. I don't think you can.

thousand dollar job though i assume something like that probably up sounds fair i don't think you can't i bet it's even more in that case because of all the extra steps you have to go through and confidentiality and all that stuff that's probably a few hundred thousand dollars and then is that just um do they give birth the way julius caesar was uh i believe so it is i believe so okay what does that mean what does that What does that mean? I have no idea. Julius Caesar? Fox? Nope. I have no idea.

Caesarian? Oh! What a baby! Yeah! Wow. I'm surprised at how little the surrogate got. What do you mean? $45,000.

What? We're just growing into a trailer park? What? Who's got a goddamn fucking belly? Would pay their surrogate $45,000 and 10 payments of $4,500 each. And they paid the agency that found the surrogate,

Jesus Christ, $70,000. The agency just pimping out these stomachs. That makes so much sense. That's barely entry-level money. I don't, I just, $45,000, let's not get crazy. If you're doing absolutely nothing, that is a great salary to

have to do absolutely nothing with your life except for eat right and then necessarily you're still out to give birth i mean that sucks i think your life sucks for sure i don't think it's worth it but i thought i would think a lot more because your baby like if i'm that baby is a lot of money yes especially in the chris jenner run world yes you would think that you would want to park your car that's potentially going to be worth millions in a garage that was kept. That's like one Instagram post. That is less than one Instagram. Absolutely. For the least popular person in that family, it's probably one Instagram post and one swipe up.

That's Rob. family. It's probably one Instagram post and one swipe up. That's Rob. Like getting a new deck or an addition on the house, though. You take the lowest bid. Maybe people are fighting for that job. I was just reading an article, and apparently that's just the going rate for all surrogates. You don't get more money if it's a celebrity surrogate.

All of these agencies are pimping these surrogates. Do you tip after the baby's out? Fuck. You gotta probably tip. She'll probably write a book, too. I carried Kim and Kanye's kid. Well, like Blue Ivy, right? Everybody talked about that potentially being a surrogate because Beyonce

like two weeks after pregnancy was Beyonce again. I don't know. I don't know the truth behind that. She took those pictures. Took the maternity pictures. Yeah, yeah. And I was an old man in front of 70 000 but let's say they did but okay let's go with somebody else um yeah but let's say that was a surrogate that mom carried blue ivy if blue ivy goes on to become the next fucking rihanna or

beyonce or anything like that that probably is a story worth telling. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. How I created Blue Ivy. I'd want a percentage of their career earnings. No me, no you. Exactly. Something to think about. But that agency's getting it, for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure.

That agency's getting it. They're killing it. Babies. It's a scary thing. Val's in a bad spot. What happened, man? She went out running in the snow you know we took a bunch of pictures out there first day got out there and she was just so

jacked up because she loves it every dog seems to love snow yeah it's weird just like a cold soft i feel like she thought it was like foam almost she was just running around recklessly she was fucking reckless i've never seen val this reckless val is my dog half sharpay half pitbull came into the house with samantha as the only pet valerie was the only pet this is the first dog that ever loved me and that i loved this dog and i have a great relationship sam has since then brought in four cats as well val still the only dog we've tried out a couple other dogs they're all lunatics we got a farm but val was running around reckless and then we get inside she had a scarf on

had a good time uh we wrestled in the snow a little bit she was sprinting around the whole house though i got some hills there she was just losing her mind we get inside she dries off and then she just lays down and then she puts her ears back which like means like she's sorry so whenever she does something wrong she lays there and puts her ears straight back and it's like an i'm sorry situation or something is wrong right so we just had a great time i was trying to give her a treat i think it was like a piece of bacon i'm like come here come here and she just lays there with her thing i'm like what the fuck did you do did you normally she'll go into the garbage and she'll pull like the buffalo wild wings box out of the

trash open the box and eat the chicken and then just leave it next to the box like right there she'll get she'll go into the bag grab the box open it and eat the chicken wow and she this is her thing she's a dumpster dog that's what is a dumpster dog. We have to keep the trash. If it has any food in it, we have to keep it locked in behind metal or she'll get in there. So I thought she did that. I was like, what did you get?

So I walk around the house. I'm like, look. And I'm like, you didn't do shit. What are you so sorry for? And then I went to rub her, and she gave like a yelp. And I was like, oh, no. It was like a father whenever she was like,

whoo. And I was like, oh oh my baby's hurt here so we go and lay i go and lay on the couch sam's laying on the couch and she still has her ears back she just yelped i'm like i don't know if i just touched i don't know what happened there and sam's like what you do i'm like i don't know i didn't do anything i don't think and val was just like following me around i go lay on the couch Normally she'll just jump up on the couch and take her spot. And she was just looking up on the couch like she couldn't jump. And I was like, I don't know what happened.

So I lift her up on there and she just passes out and doesn't move for the rest of the night. Never happens. Normally if Sam gets up, she'll follow Sam. If I get up, she'll follow me. She didn't move. She takes her. She threw, she blew her back. It's like threw her back out.

She threw her back. How old is she? Six, seven. She's going to live I think until like 12. I've been doing research and I hope by the way. I hope this thing lives for a long, long time. The muscles in her back, so it wasn't the bones, it was the muscles in her back somehow

and I think she might have hit a corner of a hill and rolled or something. We didn't see her. It doesn't even have to be that, man. Yeah, our great Dane did that. Oh, you throw your back out? Yeah. Did she sneeze?

It happened to me last week. It doesn't have to be that. But I was real worried about her, man. I was like, so last, we've had to carry her. Like I've had to lift her up out of bed and into bed because she can't jump up into bed. The vet was like, do not let her jump off the bed. So have to like like 3 a.m last night sam had to pick her up and put her into her bed and then she gets up and comes over to my side because i was still awake at that point

and she starts like hitting her nose off the bed and she's like let's go give me the fuck back up there no no you got to go to bed you got a bad back and sam's like will you keep it the fuck down i'm like listen our daughter here doesn't understand that she's fucking hurt. And you're just sleeping on it. It's been a wild scene. Do they give her meds and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. She's on like these muscle relaxers.

Oh, boy. She might as well be Jell-O, bro. Did you try any? Nope. I thought about it. Thought about it. I always thought those were fake medicine, like when they give animals. Val, I can understand that you would think that because the animals can't speak, right?

You know why? Because the animals can't be like, oh, this ain't working. Yeah, exactly. And I do think vets are quite a hustle. Yes. I would like that to be known now that I have five animals in my life and we go to the same vet. And they're always giving these diagnoses that I am not always sold on but hey if we can buy this other pill it'll solve the problem of course it will vet no they do they do a great

job they take care of the animals very well they hold all that shit but i going into it i thought vets were all hustlers because of what you just said yeah the this medicine is definitely working because she's just becoming jello she And I guess it just resets her. They said, like, today I guess she should be reset and be good to go. Last night she was getting a little spunky, though. She hadn't been like that since the back blowout. But I thought about my kid. Vets are flourishing now, by the way,

because now all the World War II vets and Vietnam vets are fading out. They had a different mentality on spending money on animals. They're like, $2,000? All right. Kiss them goodbye. You know what I mean? That was the mentality. Wait, what vets are we talking about?

He's not wrong. No, no. He's saying- No, dog owners. They're animals to vets. And it's a real thing. I know a couple of vets, and they're like, these generations now, you're more personally attached to your animals.

This is the weird way to put it with the World War II saying. It's a very strange way to put it. Yeah, because I thought you were tying. Honestly, I thought there was a potential joke coming out of you tying the greatest generation and potentially veterinarians. I thought there was some way to. By the way, something right down. But the term greatest generation wasn't in that context.

Not for the dogs. It was, we're not afraid to fight shit. The veterinarians are probably making more money than fucking doctors' doctors these days with the way insurance is paid. And the way things happen. I bet you veterinarians... Get yourself animal insurance.

I've paid a lot more to the fucking vet than I've paid to a doctor. Now granted, I got surgery from the Colts. They paid for it. But since retiring, I've dumped more money into that fucking vet than any doctor on earth, I think. They're making a good little living over there from the McAfee household. Our zoo. I got animal insurance.

Really? It's only like $10 a month. Wow. Does it work? Did a veterinarian sell that? Huh? A veterinarian sell that? Huh? Does a veterinarian sell that? She gets it through her work, like through her medical plan, actually.

It's like part of it. And it's just like human insurance where you just got to co-pay and all that shit? Yeah. Really? So look into that. So if they have to have fucking surgery, instead of paying like $8,000, it's whatever the fuck it is. And then what do you got to do? You got to find vets that accept your-

I assume so. I'm not versed in it. It's not my insurance, but I know we have it. Probably get a list of ones that are in the plan and all that stuff. I got this vet that is... I think it's a driver away from my house. Like, if you were to tee off in Jay's front yard,

in my front yard, Jay's front yard that is in my front yard. If you get a driver and tee off from there, I think you could hit the vet that's from there. Very nice people. I need to know if they take any animal insurance because I'm about sick of it. I'm fucking sick of it.

Old Teddy will get like an ingrown thumbnail and we got to worry about Garfield fucking pissed off at the rest of the cats. You got Scootsie with three fucking legs. Scootsie's back hips, I know are going to be a problem. I know we're going to have to fucking pay for that. I've been trying to get her a goddamn wheel, but she can't jump.

She's a freak athlete. She's like that slingshot car. Yep. You know those cars? The one back wheel? Yeah, like Rob Daredick had that one time in the video, and they tried to give it to us for the month of February. Very nice of them.

It's going from AJ to us. Yeah, AJ Hawk got it all summer and fall, and then we got it in February. It was very nice of them to do's going from AJ to us. Yeah. AJ Hawk got it all summer and spring and fall. And then we got it in February. It was very nice of them to do that. We're okay. Thanks. Here's a free ad for you for that. Fuck up.

But she's like a slingshot right now, but she's like seven months old, I think. So she's still young and spry. But when she gets going, she's literally running like three legged. It's like sideways. The back end is sideways.

And she's like one. She's running. The back end is sideways, and she's like one leg. She's running. The back leg is facing straight ahead somehow, and her two fronts are like, they're like a, she's running a triangle offense while sprinting, and she is fast, like fast, fast. I think she's the fastest cat probably in the whole thing. In her front arms, just like the guy in Family Guy

who's in a wheelchair. Oh, Joe. Very, very strong. She climbs up this cat pole with just her front arms, just like the guy in Family Guy who's in a wheelchair. Oh, Joe. Very, very strong. She climbs up this cat pole with just her front arms and just goes all the way to the top, and then she'll bat like the other ones off the fucking top. She's become like a little thug in there. Nice.

But I know her hips are going to be fucked. I mean, you can't run like that and not be fucked. We're going to have to probably pay for an entire surgery for that. She's going to have to get new hips. It's going to be a whole new thing. They might have to take the other back leg. Then you get your wheels, though. Test out her sea legs.

She's a good cat. I got good animals in there. Yeah. But I don't know. Animals are fun. The human baby, I just don't know. Todd, you did it. I brought you hell.

Boy, I tell you what. Kind of. Kind of wrecks your first couple years because you're just paranoid the whole time. Think about how you worry about your animals. Then you get this little baby. Everything you do is potentially life altering. Everything you do is

potentially life altering. Everything in the world is dangerous to a baby, by the way. Everything you look at is dangerous to a baby. Hey, hey, hey. That's not a bicky. That's a vape. And I say vitamins, they are not. Yeah, every socket.

Oh, yeah. I remember Bailey one time. Oh, I can't wait. Sliced up the, he loved pickles, man. He loved pickles when he was a kid. He's probably a year and a half old or whatever. And he was eating these little chunks, these little slices of pickles, man. He just inhaled one without chewing it all and there was no sound

coming out of him he's turning red to purple and i'm like what the fuck so i just grabbed i'd had you know i was a new trooper i had first day training so i laid him you know across my forearm belly down his head sticking out past, and I smacked his back with a heel strike to his back. Boom. And that pickle just shot out. Hit the wall. Baby Heimlich.

He's like, boom. I'm like, oh, my God. It was the scariest moment ever. Did you hold that over his head forever? Oh, yeah. I'm like, saved your life, bro. Don't forget I saved your life in that pickle. You might not have made it past 18 fucking months You hear me? Gator

That's awesome But I don't think Everything about it Everything about it is scary to me But I've been thinking about it a lot Because me and Val are so tight And she's like a little human baby I can talk to her

I have conversations with Val I'm like oh what's going on she'll like lift her head i'll be like uh you won't go outside and she like shakes her head yes and i'm like well let's go and she's like now i'm like yeah get the fuck up and she'll like stand up and then she'll like take the blankets off of me like she'll take her nose and like take the blankets off of me and then walk to the front door. It's like, she's walking me through this. This dog is walking me through it. And we have this laser where she chases the laser, the best, the best. It's so much fun. I don't have to move. I don't have to fucking move. And I'm just wearing her out, but she knows where

that laser is. And if I walk even in that area, she'll just like get out of tension. And then she looks at me and then she looks at the ground and then she looks at me and then she looks at the ground and then she looks at my hands like both of them like very like slyly like looking at both hands and then she'll look at the ground and i have to go like hands up to her like no i got nothing i got fucking i'm just i just took a shit i just took a shit what happens when my baby walks up to me i can't just go hands up and i just took a shit. What happens when my baby walks up to me? I catch my hands up and I just took a shit. Follow the fucking laser. Do you change your own fucking diaper too?

I'm about sick of it. They're so smart, dogs. I was out in the garage with Carter a couple weeks ago before it got cold. And the garage door was up. And this lady comes walking around with a dog. And Carter's the one dog, German Shepherd Boxer Mix. He's the oldest one of the bunch. He's the only one I let out front because I usually can trust him not to take off.

And that dog comes around, and you see him perk up, the hair comes up. He's kind of pointing in that direction with his whole body. And just out of instinct, I'm like, all right, knock it off, buddy. Just go ahead and sit your ass down. And he just sat down, and I'm like, that was the buddy just go ahead and sit your ass down and he just sat down and i'm like that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen because when you connect to another creature you really feel like you're an avatar like you said i talked to it like i would a person yeah and you have a full moment and you could see them in their eyes processing what you're saying

yeah that's cool we shouldn't gender assign who they're friends with, by the way. Person's best friend. Yes, humans. Persons, humans. That's what I meant to say. I like that. You didn't. I don't know why. Person sounded better in my head.

But now I say it sounds bad. It shouldn't. Person's best friend. Yeah, that's it. Just don't say the word. Just say it fast and run it together. That'll work. I honestly think he prepares for this oh yeah i think it's impossible a lot of work goes into it i think i think it is hard being dumb publicly it is like whenever digs was

first getting into the microphone game and he was coming out of the sales world and we would make fun of him for the false facts i told him a straight face like hey it is not easy being the village idiot i'd like you to know it is not easy being the village idiot is it is a lot harder than people would think and zito somehow you've mastered it like it's your it's become your full-time giving the thing that worries me is like after i would say something i would smirk after it i'd be really proud of it zito just keeps his blank face. Like, what do you mean? I think Zito, I think he might be a billionaire somehow.

Like, honestly, I think Zito might be a billionaire somehow. I'm like undercover the whole time? That's what I'm saying. I think you are. Like, I think you're potentially... Oh, that's where all the Zito money comes from. Exactly. He buys everything. He buys everything and it always ends up here. He always is like, oh yeah, I know what to do. Yeah, I've done this. Like, he's a well-traveled. He buys everything and it always ends up here. He always is like, oh yeah, I know what to do. Yeah, I've done

this. He's a well-traveled. He says he works on a cruise line. Maybe his parents owned a cruise line. That could be. I don't fully know. Have we ever met anybody from the Zito clan? No. Maybe he's Dick Portillo's son. That's what I'm saying. And then all these goddamn free ads for his dad. It's not

free ads. I honestly, I think Zito is one of the most dad. It's not a free ad. I honestly think Zito is one of the most intriguing. It's a fake nickname he gave to himself. Jose Perez, we didn't do any background checks. It's basically Joe Smith. It's very common. It very much is.

Todd was following Jose Perez on the Sports Action app the other day and he's like, Zito, man, these bets you've been putting in are pretty good. And Zito's like, Zito, man, these bets you've been putting in are pretty good. And I'm like, that's not me. I assume there's quite a few. I used to always, like, every time you go to the gym, you go, you free your card, you go, my name's Jose Perez.

And they'd be like, ah, there's eight pages. And then I'd be like, address, or like town, and they'd be like, ah, there's four pages now. That could be a real problem, by the way, for the no-fly list. That's what was happening. Oh, I get patted down every time. Not even talking about TSA. What word did you say?

Pat it down. Okay. Pat it down. That is not because of the no-fly list. But that was happening. These no-fly lists were happening. People were getting put on the no-fly list. And a guy named John Smith would end up on a no-fly list.

And then some John Smith in Montana would try to go fly. Yeah, you can't buy a ticket. Why? John Smith, you murder a guy in New York. The Jose Perez probably a pretty... That stopped, obviously, I believe. Actually, I have no idea. It is better now, but you're right,

because I used to have to work. For extra money, I would work weekends. It was called the Knicks office. It's where if you buy a gun in the state of Indiana, they run the little background. They always make a phone call and then you have to wait for approval. I was the guy that would sit there and run your shit to see, make sure you didn't have protective orders or anything.

That's back in the day. But you'd get a name like Jose Perez in there and like 1200 alarms would go off. Yeah. Detain them immediately stuff and i'm like you're gonna have to wait about two months for this to get rectified could have been you yeah or it's not you maybe it's not even your real name we have no idea you're gonna win the weight loss challenge though i'm pretty confident of that at this point i don't know because todd took the weekend off to kind of recharge himself and he said he's

gonna get into destructive manner that's the only way kind of recharge himself, and he said he's going to get into destructive manner. That's the only way he can lose weight. And he's been spitting over there a pretty hefty amount, which is the wrestler's trick to lose weight. I have not eaten today. And yesterday I literally had probably about eight raw almonds, or eight individual raw almonds, and two little pieces of beef jerky. And that was all I ate yesterday.

I love that. So in two days, that's what I've had. Eight raw almonds. How did you land on that number? I'm guessing, but I picked them out and I put enough in there where I had enough. I go, well, there's some substance in my mouth. Chewed them up, swallowed them. Did that twice.

That's probably about eight or ten. Was it a trail mix where you had to pick through or was it the raw almonds? Listen, Todd knows how many nuts to put in his mouth, chewed them up, swallowed them. Did that twice. That's probably about eight or ten times. Was it a trail mix where you had to pick through, or was it the raw almonds? Listen, Todd knows how many nuts to put in his mouth, all right? Hi-oh. It's not second guessing. But I've been pounding the coffee. I was going to ask you, because you've been through dieting before. Cutting weight.

You're a professional athlete. You can say cutting weight. Is the coffee, because I've read somewhere it says the caffeine is good because it keeps you from retaining water. And it makes you pee. And it's an appetite suppressant and makes you pee. And metabolism.

But is that okay to do for like a week straight, just pound coffee? Yeah. No. Obviously, nothing is. But for weight, just shedding weight?

Yeah. Okay. I used to. Yeah, go ahead. Me and, what was that shit that was starting to kill people? Oh, I took it too. Yeah. I almost had a Yeah, go ahead. Me and, what was that shit that was starting to kill people? Oh, I took it too.

I was in a heart attack. Yeah. What? I was very, very high, and I was also a little drunk, and I also had hydroxycut, and then we went to go see, oh, fuck, what's the movie with the monsters? Why are you taking it? Space Jam?

Hydroxycut. This was in college. Well, you drink it and smoke it. It was first-person view, and they've made three since. John Goodman was in the last one underneath. Fuck! Cloverfield. Thank you.

I had to leave the theater because I was having a heart attack. That shit was real. Hydroxycut made me lose shit real quick, but that was just mostly caffeine and some other shit that kills you in there. So I think caffeine is a good shit. Makes your heart go 100 miles an hour. I think that was my first anxiety attack. That was when we found out about the dig shot? I think so.

Can we get a digs bomb? I stopped taking a hydroxy cut after that. You stopped taking a hydroxy cut and then that guy beat up you and three of your friends. Yep. True story. Today's show was brought to you by our friends at my bookie.ag yes it was a great conversation from top to bottom beginning to end thank you for saying that we saw you say it you thought it and be to be honest if you got this far into the show you're a really fucking

committed person and i appreciate you the most. So I'd like to give away something. I do this on a regular basis. Evan Fox will give you a $100 gift card. I mean, it couldn't be more repetitive and boring than still a good gift. Wow. How about this? I take that back.

You had a chance to be a real hero there for the people i'm going to take that back and i'm honestly i'm going to downgrade it but this is your fault not my fault i will hand select okay and i will tweet it tomorrow someone is getting a membership to the pub oh a shirt yep you're getting a membership to the pub that's right it's not just a shirt pat that's right it's not just a shirt it's a membership to the pub. That's right. It's not just a shirt Pat. That's right. It's not just a shirt It's a membership to something much worse than yourself bigger than yourself It's very nice of Foxy to do that. By the way, he's it's real champion of the people there potentially giving away 100 bucks

He says no. No we give away 2499 So Foxy will give you a membership to the pub and $100 gift card. Yeah, here we go. yeah here we go you're a good guy thanks all you need to do is send us something that makes us laugh or send us a bunch of winners from my bookie.ag tweet them to us uh at pat mcfee show adam foxy at ty schmidt at tom mccomis at nick maroto at digs with a z at Add Viva Lozito. Add Hey Gorman. Add Boston Conner. Any of us, really. And send us your picks, five of them. And then if they do well, resend them on Monday.

Say, hey, I did good. If you get four or more, say, hey, I did good. You could potentially win the $100 gift card and the $25 pub membership fee and shirt. And if you send us something that makes us all laugh pretty hard, good chance you're going to win. Usually helps. You're going to win. These things get looked at by the office, by us during the day.

Sometimes we go, weak attempts. Weak attempts. And then sometimes we go, this is funny. This is clever. Maybe you make fun of Zito. We learn a lot about Zito today. Maybe you send us something about Zito. Maybe you sent us, like, oh, what Diggs probably looks like

whenever he's fucking... Shoveling a gravel fucking driveway. That's outlandish. Poor guy. If you're listening from a warm climate and you've never been around snow, like, shoveling gravel is a nightmare. That is a fucking nightmare.

Because the gravel's normally halfway frozen. Yep. So, and it sticks up. So with shoveling of snow, you're literally just trying to shove the thing and you're just trying to push it and the gravel just has to stick up and just stop.

It has to be like when you're running with like a hockey stick. Boom, boom, boom. That's why he said he had to keep like a little bit on top so he could do the... Yeah, you'll break both your wrists. Bang!

Diggs has got no shot. And he's doing his weight loss competition. Diggs is going to battle out there. We got another foot coming. That text from him saying, hey, boys, we got another foot coming. That was him just thinking, fuck, here I go again. Just shoveling gravel. Just fucking shoveling gravel.

Nothing he could do, though. He moved in the house. Yeah, you have no choice. It's just something. Nothing he could do though. He moved in the house. Yeah, you have no choice. It's just something you gotta deal with. You better be smiling the entire goddamn time you're doing it. Yeah, you're fucking right. Because you get to do that. That's right. That's another Chuck Magano. You get to. You don't have to. You get to.

Which is a good line. It is. Good line. Like, we gotta go to this? You get to. You get to go. You line. Like, we got to go to this. You get to go. You don't have to go. You get to go. What the fuck does that mean? Your mind shit.

Change your mind shit. Do you have to go? Yes, I have to go. You get to go. He's coming on next week. He's hilarious. I think we got Vinatieri too next week hilarious you know i think we got vinatieri too next week nice i think we got vinatieri as well potentially on tuesday should be good he said

for tuesday show a lot to talk about with him man he's pretty um uh relevant conversation right now oh yeah absolutely greatest of all time potentially hanging them up or coming back we'll see if we can get a little inside scoop there without ruining a friendship it's quite a fine balance have a great weekend ty schmidt heartland radio 2.0 is minyana by the way next saturday nxt takeover i am on the pre-show trying to make it the show excited for that we'll see how it works out but uh ty sch, hit the music. Music. A pretty little thing approaching me She said, I've never seen a man who looks so all alone Could you use a little company? If you pay the right price, your evening will be nice And you can go and send me on my way

I said, you're such a sweet young thing, why you do this to yourself? She looked at me and this is what she said Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked Money don't grow on trees. I got bills to pay, I got miles to feed. There ain't nothing in this world for free. I know I can't slow down, I can't hold back. Though you know I wish I could.

I know there ain't no rest for the wicked. Until we close our eyes for good Not even 15 minutes later I'm still walking on the street When I saw the shadow of a man creep out of sight And then he swept up from behind He put a gun up to my head He made it clear he wasn't looking for a fight

He said, give me all you got I want your money, not your life But you try to make a move, I won't think twice I told him, you can have my cash But first you know I gotta ask, what made you wanna live this kind of life, he said there ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees, I got bills to pay, I got amounts to fee, there ain't nothing in this world for free free I know I can't slow down I can't hold back Though you know I wish I could I know there ain't no rest for the wicked

Until we close our eyes for good You know You know You know You know You know You know You know Well now a couple hours passed and I was sitting at my house The day was winding down and coming to an end

And so I turned to the TV and flipped it over to the news And what I saw I almost couldn't comprehend I saw a preacher man in cuffs, he'd taken money from the church He'd stuck his bank account with righteous dollar bills But even still I can't say much because I know we're all the same Oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thrills You know there ain't no rest for the wicked Money don't grow on trees

We got bills to pay, we got miles to feed There ain't nothing in this world for free I know we can't slow down, we can't hold back Though you love, we wish we could I know there ain't no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good