The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 046 - Best Of PMS 2.0 Pt. 1

Episode Date: February 12, 2019

Pat's on vacation in Hawaii, and the rest of the guys are out of the office as well. Today's show includes some of the best moments and interviews from the past 6 months. Included are interviews with Dan Patrick (3:50-24:28), AJ Hawk (27:50-1:03:05), and Wheeler Walker Jr. (1:04:41-1:33:28). It's a good one, come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You are listening to the Pat McAfee Show 2.0. I am not Pat McAfee. I'm Ty Schmidt. Pat is on vacation in Hawaii right now. The rest of the Heartland guys are out of the office as well on vacation, so I'm here holding it down for this week's episodes. So what we're going to do is I've went back through and picked a couple of my favorite moments from the past year or so, and we will get to those in just a minute. past year or so, and we will get to those in just a minute. But first, I'd like to thank SeatGeek, our presenting sponsor of the Pat McAfee Show 2.0. SeatGeek is the greatest ticket buying app on earth because they scan for the best prices everywhere. You're not getting

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earlier, everyone's on vacation right now. I'm going to be leaving before too long here. But in the meantime, let's get to a couple of my favorite moments. This was really hard to pick. I tried to grab a couple of segments, but that's just very, very, very difficult. There's so much funny stuff that's happened. A lot of stuff slips through the cracks. So for this episode, I'm going to start by throwing it back to one of our older interviews that we did. And I think, honestly, I mean, for me especially, it was really cool to kind of witness it. But I think more so for the guys in the room, it was a very special moment being able to talk to this guy

and kind of seeing how their paths to where they're at right now kind of lined up and are very similar. It's just a great conversation. There's really no other way to put it. So without further ado, here's Dan Patrick. Hello? Hey, it's Dan Patrick. Oh, my God, you're the the best listen to that voice right there it is as soon as you said your name right there everybody in here just you caught everybody's attention with that beautiful voice i'm gonna give you an intro and we'll get right

into it all right okay thank you so much dan you. You're welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us via phone is a man that needs no introduction. When his voice hits the airwaves, babies stop crying in hospitals all across the country. His voice is so damn smooth. You've heard him and seen him. He was on SportsCenter for a while. Made that show the number one show on TV for a long time. He was host of Football Night in America for a while. Made that show the number one show on TV for a long time. He was host of Football Night in America for a while. His daily

show on radio gets rave reviews and awards at his simulcast on television. Ladies and gentlemen, the host of the Dan Patrick Show. With he and the Danettes, Dan Patrick. I thought I didn't need any introduction.

You know, there might be somebody who lives under a rock that might not have heard of the great Dan Patrick. Dan, how is life? You're still crushing this whole media game here 30 years into the game. How is life? How is Dan Patrick? Everything's good. Everything's good. Everything's good. I think people were thought I was on suicide

watch after I decided I wasn't going to do Football Night in America. I had people checking in on me on Sundays to say, are you okay? I go, yeah, I'm fine. I'm surviving. Being on Football Night in America, I'm actually watching games and Fantasy League and having beer.

Dan, you broke up right there, Dorn. Right after you said Fantasy League and beers, it's almost like Football Night in America is attacking your phone right now. Everything's good, though. Everything's good. The daily grind that we have in this business, but I like to stay busy. I remember it was Brent Musburger and Bob Costas

both wondered how I did it every day, and I said, I don't know how you don't do it every day because that's what we do. As a sports fan, as somebody who does this for a living, I love the daily grind of following stories and interviewing. I love the process. You're one of the best interviewers in the sports world. I mean, anytime you get a guest in there, you have this ability of bringing out incredible things and forming these relationships.

You and Adam Sandler have become best friends, basically, from his experiences on the show. Who are some of the people you talk to that you've enjoyed hearing their story or people you feel like you got a chance that they opened up with you that you did not expect? I think anybody who's honest, that's what you want, because I always view it as I'm a conduit to the listener or the viewer. And if I'm doing my job, I can have my question get to an answer and then give that to the viewer or listener, because that's who you're serving. Dale Earnhardt Jr. probably surprised me as much as anybody when he started talking about his childhood and things that he had never talked about before publicly. And what stood out is, you know, I just talked to him about growing up,

and he said, I remember watching my house burn down, and I realized at the time all my toys were inside, and then I had to go live with my dad. And so it kind of struck me with the honesty of it, but if you've ever been around Dale Earnhardt Jr. that that's who he is but just that I think he said he was five years old or four years old his house burns down he lost his toys and then he had to go move with his dad and I just it kind of stuck with me of how refreshing refreshingly honest it was with something that was so painful to him and delivering it in that manner. So it, uh, all I want is somebody who, if you ask a

question, you think you're getting an honest answer out of them and that always happened. But when you do, then, uh, sometimes you have radio gold. So with that being said, OBJ, I guess was very honest with his answers about the giants, but he looks like a bit of an asshole when it comes out. So what is your thoughts on the whole? Because everybody in media, and I'm not saying you, I said everybody there, that's a broad brush. Most people in media, though, want honest answers until they think that it's not the right thing to say. What do you think about the whole OBJ situation with Lil Wayne and the New York Giants? Well, I want honest answers, but that doesn't mean I have to like honest answers. I mean, there's a difference in that. If you give me honest answers, you're making my job easier, but that doesn't mean I approve of them.

You know, Jimmy Butler's keeping it real in Minnesota. Really? That didn't sound like he was keeping it real. How about you keep it real quiet and you keep it inside? You keep it in the locker room. He made it public for a reason. I believe Odell Beckham Jr. made it public for a reason. And the fact that these two both feel like this was the way to do it.

Because you were being honest, quote-unquote being honest. You know, Jalen Ramsey assesses every quarterback in the NFL, and we go, oh, okay, he's being honest. Okay, was he being honest about his own quarterback? And the answer was no. How honest was he being with these other quarterbacks, or why was he so honest about them? We sort of pick and choose when we go, oh, boy, I love that,

or, you know, that's wrong. I love the fact that these guys say stupid things sometimes but if i'm minnesota i don't want jimmy butler back uh odell beckham you just got your contract and now you're not sure if you want to be in new york or now you're not sure about eli manning you know toughen up a little bit there and you know with jalen Ramsey, you want to crush other quarterbacks and say guys are overrated, be honest about Blake Bortles,

and then I'll buy into whatever else you say. So I love it. I appreciate it, but I don't always approve of it. Do you have, when you're interviewing people, do you have set questions ready or do you let the conversation go

however it goes? I like to have a starting point, but then i don't want you to i i never want to feel like you know what the next question is and and it does mean that i want to get you it's i just want i want you a little uncomfortable and so you don't get into a pattern of well i know what this is going to be and i'm going to answer this question. And even when somebody comes on the show, I don't like to, how are you? How are you? Good, good, good. How are you?

I just, when you come on, it's like, I just want to dive in. I want to get right into it, and I want you to sort of forget that you're holding a phone, and then I'm going to get you relaxed there. That's the key. I want you to forget that anybody're holding a phone and then i'm going to get you relaxed there that's the key i want you to forget that anybody's listening i want to take away a little bit of that and that's why it's really hard when you interview somebody on tv because you got a camera you got lights you got you know makeup you got a tile you know all those things but with radio that's why i love radio i'd never want to give up radio because i love that intimacy of my voice, your voice,

and then let's paint a picture here for the audience. That's the great challenge. That's the fun part. Let's paint a picture here then. Every Super Bowl, you have the best setup in the city. Whenever it was Indianapolis, the Dan Patrick stage at the Victory Field Indianapolis Indians place was absolutely incredible. Are you a part of all the planning of everything that happens with the Dan Patrick show?

Or are you there to perform and you've got other people handling business decisions? Well, it's got my name on it. And I have to have, I want to have input. We're planning our Super Bowl open in a month. We're going to shoot it for Atlanta. So that's how far out we've been talking about it. We've already been discussing our set in Atlanta. We've been discussing the set in Minneapolis for the Final Four in late March, early April.

That's fun to be able to be involved in the process. I'm honored to be involved in the process. I'm honored to be involved in the process. But, you know, it ultimately comes down to my comfort level of what it looks like, how I can use that. Because in Indianapolis, as you know, we had a mini racetrack there. It was awesome. We had a basketball hoop, a golf simulator. You know, we had a keg.

Like, there's just things that I like on set when we do it to let people know we're different than any other show. And that's what we pride ourselves in doing. But, yeah, I want to be involved in it. I was involved in every step of the way with the build-out of the studio, camera angles, the memorabilia that's put up in the show, on the walls, all of that stuff. So at times I should let others do it, but it's got my name on it, and I want it to be great. I can tell when the Danettes have messed with something on my desk. If they move something, and then they'll do it just to fuck with me, and I'll go, who moved that?

But I do it because I want them to know I have attention to detail. I want them to have attention to detail as well. But I take a snapshot every day when I leave. I know exactly where things are, but it's my stuff. All this stuff that we have in the studio, my wife wanted me to get it out of the house. Now, all this stuff that we have in the studio, my wife wanted me to get it out of the house. So it's all mine, so I know what it is, know where it is, and how it's positioned. And that's another fun part of it, because I don't collect normal memorabilia.

Agreed. That's just not how we think. You know, hey, let me get an autographed jersey. Or let me get the—we wanted the socks of the kid who scored the most points in a basketball game he played at grinnell i think he had 138 points i said send me your socks so he autographed his socks you know not you know that's just that's different for us but that's the fun part of all of this so you're ocd you're analytical when you left the machine, the mothership, and started doing your own thing. Were you nervous? You know what?

I think the biggest thing, Pat, and you know this because you make a decision. Everybody wants to know how you could make that decision, why you made that decision. But ultimately, I listened to my wife, and she just said something so simple. I was going to sign a new five-year deal at ESPN, and I had been there 18 years. So it was just like, why would I leave ESPN? And then I started to think, am I really enjoying it? Am I afraid to leave ESPN because people say, why would you leave ESPN or did you get fired? And that morning when I'm going up to sign that contract, my wife said, you know, the kids are all going to be grown up and out of the house when you're done with the contract.

And I just brushed it off. I just said, well, you know, I'll see him, you know, in my schedule and, you know, all these things. And I got up there and I sat down with my boss and he said, all right, what are you going to do? Take it or leave it? I said, and my wife's words came right into my head. And I said, I'm going to leave it. And he said, okay, I'll get Danielle to write up the contract. Wait, what? So then I, like I said it, so I was like, now you got to sound like you really mean

it. I go, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to leave it. And I called my wife. I walked outside and I said, I said, hon, I'm, I'm coming home. She goes, okay. I said, no, I'm coming home for good. And she goes, okay. I said, hon, I'm, I'm going to leave ESPN. She goes, okay, we'll sell the house if we have to. Started crying. That's awesome. Because, like, she understood it better than anybody. Like, I don't care what your job is or what money you make. You need to be here every day.

Because I was working crazy hours, and I have four kids, and I just remember driving home, and I got home. I pulled in the driveway, and my youngest, Molly, was nine at the time. And she came out, and I thought, oh, it's so sweet. She's coming out. She's going to say, Dad, we're glad you're home. Then she says, Dad, should I always be honest with you? And I'm thinking, go ahead, honey.

Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me. Like, should I always be like, even if it hurts somebody's feelings? I said, well, you should always be honest with somebody. And she goes, you got a booger in your nose. I said, oh, okay. And then she went inside. So I'm thinking, what the hell is going on? So I walk inside. It's silent. All four kids at the dinner table. And then my son goes, are we supposed to be celebrating?

And I said, hell yes. And they started banging on the table. It's loud and started screaming. And it was wonderful. Until like a month later when I'm at home by myself with no job and nobody's there. And I'm going, what the hell did I just do? That's the biggest mistake of my life. i'm going what the hell did i just make the

biggest mistake of my life but you know what i did it i i listened to the right person at the right time for the right reasons and that's the best thing i ever did so even if i didn't succeed after espn i did succeed because i was listening to the most important person in my life tell me about life, and I was so blind to it because I was a TV star, and I was so, so oblivious. Holy hell, what a beautiful story right there. So you're sitting at home for a month, stay-at-home dad, unemployed bum with four kids, and then the idea is, okay, I'm going to create my own team. I'm going to create the Dan Patrick Show.

I talk to people about what would happen if I leave. I talk to some people in Chicago and a radio guy, Jimmy DeCastro, and he had reached out before and he said, look, if you ever leave, you let me know. And I didn't really know him. And then I thought, well, okay, I'm curious about that. And then I wondered, could I do something that was modeled after Howard Stern, where I could have my guys handpicked be there with me?

And they're sort of the studio audience, but they're coworkers. And we could have conversations. Because, as you know, there are times when you just go, I'm just tired of hearing my voice. I just, you know, I don't have a hot go, I'm just tired of hearing my voice. Yes. I don't have a hot take. I don't have any of that nonsense. But I love having a conversation. And I said, I'll do it if I can do it this way. So we started in my house in the attic.

We converted two bedrooms, made a radio studio, and the Danettes came every morning. My wife would be there cooking breakfast for my kids. They'd get them off to school. She'd be in a bathrobe. I'd wake up, brush my teeth, go upstairs, and we were just doing the radio show. And it's the best thing I ever did because it brought us so close together that they knew we were in for a fight because I left a place that, you know, I was on 300 radio stations and I was doing sports. And I mean, I had everything that you needed.

And then all of a sudden I was an underdog and we started out with 12 radio stations. But they understood that we're in it together and whatever rewards we have, I'll share. And so I'm forever indebted to the Danettes because they took a chance. You know, two of them were at ESPN at the time. And, you know, McLovin worked at Sports Illustrated, and Paulie was working with Tony Stewart on his radio show. So they had jobs and families and, in some cases, kids. But I said, look i i will not fail um and then when we we weren't

sure about payroll it got you know we were nervous because insurance i was nervous because we didn't think we were going to make payroll and i remember i didn't cash my check i made sure the dennett's cash their checks and that's when i said to my wife, I said, I think we're in trouble here. And I'm sitting outside the bar that I would go to, and I called up DirecTV. I didn't even know who to, I just said, you know, can you direct me to somebody in sports? And they direct me to Chris Long. I said, do you know who I am? He says, yes.

I said, would you be interested in buying my radio show and making a simulcast? And he said, yeah. What kind of numbers? And I said, oh, holy shit. Well, sir, I just had a few beers. So I got him numbers, and then he came back and he said, all right, I'll buy it. And he lived up to everything that he said he was going to do. And, you know, we built the studio above the bar that I go to, Paulie and I go to,

and he's been great. He was great. He since left the company about a year ago, but everything we ever asked for, he did. And because of that, you know, we're still doing what we're doing. But, he did. And because of that, you know, we're still doing what we're doing. But, you know, there were slim times when I'm in the attic. But man, it was like a clubhouse. And it was awesome. And I think the Danettes and I really became very close, became really, really good friends instead of just co-workers. Dan, I'll tell you this. I haven't said this publicly much, but you're the blueprint for what I have done, really. My friends and I were doing my show from my basement for a while. Now we have a studio.

Now we do this. And you and the Danettes were really the picture of what we were trying to be. And with that being said, if I ever reach half of what Dan Patrick has done, I will be very proud of my post-NFL career. I'm so thankful you joined us, Dan. Thank you so much, man. Well, and you should know, those people that are there with you, that their value cannot be overstated and should not be overstated.

And so any success that I receive, I try to share it with the Danettes. Even if you mention Adam Sandler. You know, I told Sandler, I jokingly said I can't be I can't do this movie with you in Toronto unless the Danettes go and he goes Danny, Danny fucking put him in the movie I said

okay then I go back and I say to my boss I said well you know I put the Danettes in the movie. And they go, oh, okay. So they've been in three movies now because I always, Sandler goes, Danny, you're going to use that line again? You can't do it?

I said, yeah, yeah. And he goes, all right, all right. So he's put them in little roles there. But that's the fun part of it. He's been very generous, and the Danettes appreciate that as well, and once again, if I can do something and they can be along with me, that just makes for better stories on the air. So I wish you well, Pat. We always appreciated your honesty. You were fun. You got it, and not everybody gets it, and I wish you luck in moving this forward.

Thank you so much, Dan. I appreciate you. I miss you on Sunday nights. I'm going to be honest. I miss you on Sunday nights. I don't get to catch a simulcast every single day, but I miss you on Sunday nights this season. I think a lot of people did.

Tariqo does a fine job, but a lot of people love him. Some Dan Patrick, I'm one of them, and we're so thankful you joined us. Ladies and gentlemen, legend in the game, Dan Patrick. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Dan. Good luck with everything, man. Thank you, guys. All right.

That was really good. Holy shit. That was real. That was unbelievable. A lot of stories. I was like, oh, that's us. No idea. Okay, so I got to call DirecTV and say, hey, can I talk to the sports?

I was like, fuck, long left a year ago? God damn it. Big thanks to Dan Patrick, man. That was really cool. Wow. That was really cool of him. That was awesome stories, man. I had no idea that he started such humble beginnings from there.

I just assumed he was right into something big. I thought so, too. I thought he won ESPN, and then he did his own thing. I thought assumed he was right into something big. I thought so too. I thought he wanted ESPN and then he left and did his own thing. I thought so too. Turns out not. Wow. By the way, when he was talking about

how he interviews people, he wants to get right into it and get them feeling relaxed. They don't feel like they're on the phone. They're in a conversation. I feel like I did that to his motherfucker. Awesome stuff. In this industry,

I think Dan Patrick is a guy that everyone kind of looks up to especially you know considering his trajectory kind of lines up with the way you know pat and digs and nick and todd just kind of started uh you know doing this in pat's basement and then one thing led to another and and here we are on our own. So that was really cool for me. I mean, it got pretty emotional in the room, actually, when Dan was talking about leaving ESPN and being worried about things and making sure that the Danettes were going to have a spot with him and that everything was going to be okay. That really lines up with us leaving Barstool and all that kind of stuff.

We always had our faith in Pat. We always knew that no matter what happened, as long as he was going to be right in the ship, we were going to be okay. That is one conversation that I know I will for sure never forget. It was just a really cool moment for all of us that were in the room for it. Before we get into this next interview, I want to talk to you guys about something that's pretty important. Let's face it, guys are terrible at taking care of their health. Studies show that 70% of guys who experience erectile dysfunction

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Erectile dysfunction is a problem that guys don't tackle, but it's really important. And now, with Roman, it's really easy to take care of. So for a free online visit, go to getroman.com slash USA. Good people over there, Roman. Great product too. Great product. This next interview I picked was a pretty easy one for me. It was AJ Hawk and Pat's conversation right before they were slated to get in the booth together, calling Baylor and Texas Tech. I just recently met AJ in Atlanta in person for the first time, and he's just the best. Funny, smart, very down-to-earth, and him and Pat just have an incredible chemistry. I worked on Laces Out when they were on that together.

Obviously, AJ's been a guest on our show several times, and just the interplay they have with each other is incredible. AJ's very dry, very funny. Pat's obviously super energetic. They just mix very well together, and this interview is probably one of my favorite interviews that we've done with AJ. On the phone now is a guy who's a color commentator

for Fox Sports this upcoming weekend as the Texas Tech football team takes on the Baylor football team in Jerry World, Dallas. He'll be on the call with a guy named Sean Kelly from New Orleans' play-by-play and standing right next to him as a chime-in guy three-man booth guy a man who's never been to a broadcast boot camp myself Pat McAfee with legend on the phone AJ Hawk what's up AJ what's up, AJ? What's up, Pat? Yeah, just so you know, the Texas Tech Red Raiders against the Baylor Bears.

You knew that in my intro that I didn't know their name there. It felt like you knew that. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yep. I tried to drag out the Texas Tech so that my brain would think of the name. Could not come up with it. Could not come up with it.

Tech Football Squad. I talked to you a little bit this morning about this. I'm very intrigued to see how this goes. Have you ever been in a three-man booth before? And how do you think it goes for us? Yeah, I've been in. Last year, I did a decent amount of three-man booths with Danny Cannell, who a lot of people know.

And especially in the college game, it can be tough just because they run so many plays. If an offense is running 85-90 plays, there's not a whole lot of time to try to chime in. The three-man booth, you've got to be on the same page with each other. That's a good thing, though, with you, man. We'll find a way to make it work.

We might not have a ton of time to try to jam our points into the broadcast, but I think it'll be fun. I think we'll finish each other's please finish that sentences you were supposed to finish my sentence right there i thought we were finishing each other's sentences oh no i see i thought you were just about to return it right there i thought see we don't have a lot of time to get the chemistry back after we did an entire podcast last year together for single sunday you don't really talk to me much anymore i facetimed you one time now you're so busy i tried to facetime you twice yesterday when the announcement was made both times unavailable

unbelievable too by the way so i'm trying to get our chemistry back here but you just can't finish my no i'm not gonna i'm not playing your game right now. Yesterday, you texted me and said, hey, can you call into my show? And I said, this was 2.40 Eastern. I said, yeah, if it's in the next 10 minutes, because I'm on SiriusXM from 3 until 8 p.m. on Tuesday straight. The longest break is a two-and-a-half-minute commercial break. And so you FaceTimed me like three times at three 30 at four 30. And I got to send you a text as I'm on the air. I'm like, bro, like, do you not get it?

What's happening? I was trying to hijack the show. To be honest, I was trying to interrupt. Not that I would do that on Saturday. I have a lot of respect for that booth. I have to get a new suit for the booth. I'm real excited about that. What are you wearing? A suit full suit? new suit for the booth. I'm real excited about that. Are you wearing a suit, full suit? Yeah, maybe a full suit. I've told you about my stretchy pants I like to wear.

Sometimes during the broadcast, I like to take a knee. For some reason, it just makes me feel good. I can't take a knee in my suit pants. They're stretchy, but not stretchy enough. AJ, if you – I may have some stretchy tight pants. I'll definitely take a knee if you're sitting next to me. If you take a knee, I might lose my mind in that booth. I don't know what'll be happening on the field, but they

better turn my microphone off because I will be losing my... How long are these games? Three hours? Four hours? They could be... Yeah, they'll definitely most likely be three hours. They can run over three, but probably not. I mean, they're running a million plays. The problem about the college game

that you'll see is the clock stops after a first down just for a little bit, but it can take a long time to run a quarter if they're not really running the ball and they're getting a lot of first downs, man. It'll stretch it out. So this is three hours of an open mic for me. Absolutely, man. And that's a good thing to play by play guy, Sean Kelly. He'll jump in, he'll explain the play, and then the floor is ours. We get to really explore the space and see what we can do. I can't wait to hear your incredible football insight in there and then me with incredible... I don't know. Think about it. Think about this, Pat. We could possibly be like the college version of Tessitore Witten in Booger. Imagine that.

Oh, my God. Imagine if we could get to that level of greatness. What do you think? You think we could do it? Well, I'm going to have to pull a rabbit out of my head, but I think we can make it happen. I think you can. I mean, you're going to be up in the booth.

See, that's what's good, too. I don't think you would have agreed to do it if they would have tried to put you down on the field and Ben like the third guy is like they they want Booger to be an analyst but he's on the field he's in that Booger mobile and that's the problem but if we can't see each other like you're going to step all over each other how do you know when to speak well that's what actually I got a chance to talk to um a couple of those guys this weekend. And that was something I asked the same question. And it is difficult because I guess Booger can see Witten, right?

Because on the TVs that he has, but they can't see him. It's an interesting, it's very interesting. Hopefully they'll be able to figure it out for it to go into the future and do something well. But a McAfee mobile, I would have been all about. I just want to let you know, if they would have offered that, I'm all the way the fuck in if i'm on a mcafee mobile like a little mario kart outing down there on the sideline i mean that would make sense especially like why wouldn't they spend like 100 grand to build a mcafee mobile for a game that's being played at the exact same time as ohio state that seems like a little bit of a uh a skewed image of what the greatest rivalry in sports is possibly because you are in Ohio State.

What is it? Colts-Titans? Is that the better one? Oh, wow. Why do you have to take shots at me like that? I was just thinking there are potentially other ones that are great. Oklahoma-Texas is a big one. That's a little, let's get outside of our region. Maybe stop thinking about WVU Pitt will come back in. Maybe Penn State Pitt. Maybe Penn State, Ohio State. But Ohio State sees

Michigan as more of one. Maybe it's Duke, North Carolina. Maybe it's the Washington Wild Things, the Frontier League versus the Traverse City Beach Bums, which I actually got to play in in the Frontier League game. You don't know what a big rivalry is. You have no idea.

Yeah, I mean, I guess you're right. I need to expand my horizon. Is West Virginia Pitt, is that really a rivalry game for you? Do you guys get a trophy? It was called the Backyard Brawl. We don't do trophies, though, because we're real. We're not fake over there. You just have a mountain man carrying a musket.

That's okay. It's a mountaineer. You call these games often? Do you know? No, I don't. Pat, I've not done a West Virginia game. That's a little bit above my pay grade. See, it wasn't always like that.

When I got there, whenever I was a freshman, nobody knew us. We had never won a bowl game, nothing like that. A.J. Hawks of the world probably would have called our game. And then, by the way, you would have done so well on ours, our West Virginia team probably would have took you right up to the top. You would have been Joel Klott. Oh, hey, look at that. You know what, though?

Dana Holgerson, I respect that dude. He's one of my favorite head coaches in all of college football. I hope you've had a chance to speak with him. He and I had beers one particular evening when I first met him. I haven't talked to him since then. He's got that visor skullet thing going right now, and I love the way he's coaching that team. He owns it, man.

That's the thing. You would think if you had that skullet, you'd be like, all right, well, obviously visors, they're off the table. Those are not an option. But Dana's like, no, I like visors. I don't care. I mean, that's the best thing.

When a guy owns it and is not scared to do it, phew. Well, old Gundy. You can tell he's a confident thing. When a guy owns it and is not scared to do it, phew. Well, old Gundy. You can tell he's a confident. You got old Gundy out there at Oklahoma State. He's been marketing. He has a very full mullet. That thing is real Kentucky waterfall.

Huge business up top party in the back. That thing's awesome. But Dana owning the Scarlet, I think it's a good recruiting tool. I think it's a marketable thing. Yeah, you got to do whatever you can, I guess, to relate to these it. I think it's a good recruiting tool. I think it's a marketable thing. Yeah, you got to do whatever you can, I guess, to relate to these youngsters. There's a dude, I did a Utah State game. Utah State's actually a really good football team. Their offensive coordinator, Pat, if you guys look him up sometime, obviously, I'm sure you won't, but he's got long, blonde hair. He's kind of like surferish hair. He's wearing shades all the time.

And I think he even said, I don't really like having long hair, but for some reason when I go in to recruit these high school kids, it's like it gives me like an in. They see me, and then they see another coach come in that's kind of buttoned up and looks old. Even though I'm still older, they think I'm like a young dude, and they can relate to me, and it helps me recruit kids. And I was like, man, that's a genius move.

I guess that's what Holgerson's doing. And Gundy, this is definitely what they're doing there's no way gundy thinks that thing looks good there's no way he thinks it looks good there's no way dana like looks at it's like this is what i've always wanted granted personally i think the mullet is all the way back i've been trying to grow it my lady won't let me she took fucking scissors to it the one time when i started growing it was a wild move if i could do it i would do it in a heartbeat but i think it's a good marketing thing let's talk about marketing a little bit what do we need to do to get thrusted right into thursday night football this weekend is there any way we potentially just get moved right up the ranks next week oh so if we go from

calling the saturday college game to thursday night prime time and a fell game to Thursday night primetime NFL game to take Joe and Troy's job? Yeah. Ooh. I mean, if anybody can do it, we can do it, Pat. I really think so. What do we have to do to get there? Think about it.

With your groundswell of support of all of your loyal fans that love everything about you and that say cuz and cuzzy all the time and sound like douchebags with their parents and friends, I think we a good chance i don't know what do you think what are you gonna i think a lot of things after what you just said how it goes i think you need a board you know you know what a board is pat for the game you ever heard that board speaking i'm bored with this conversation because all you're doing is just taking a bunch of bullshit shots at my people listen here cuzzy your people for her hold on i wasn't taking any shots at my people. Listen here, cuzzy. No, not your people. Hold on.

I wasn't taking any shots at your people. I was saying because their parents don't understand maybe the world that they're living in in this Pat McAfee, whatever you call yourself world, they can't relate to their young kids speaking different languages. What a spin zone that was. You just called me and my people a douchebag there. You did it. I heard it right there. Okay, that's how you want to take it.

I can't offend you. You have to be, you let yourself be offended. That's unbelievable. I am kind of offended. I don't know what a board is though. I have no idea what a board is. That's like a microphone board where I can mute the play-by-play guy, chop in. Is that what you're talking about? Well, you do have

a cough button and a talk back that you can talk to your producer but no the board's like the the two deep that you hold it so you can kind of see it has everybody's number has a little you can write a bunch of stuff on it no i've seen those i don't do notes normally my thing is no notes you ever see me on tv everybody everybody says paper in front of them no notes for me no you don't need notes i'm not saying any notes but i could print you out an extra board and bring it if you want i got to Everybody else has paper in front of them. No notes for me. No, you don't need notes. I'm not saying you need notes, but I could print you out an extra board and bring it if you want. I got to get it to Kinko's again, but it just has the numbers. So if a guy catches the ball or you're trying to watch a replay

and you don't know who the guy is, obviously, you just look down at your board and you see, okay, number 56, that's the right guard, and you can say his name. That's how you identify people. It's like a coach's play sheet, a call sheet? Yeah, it's basically like a call sheet. It just has all the positions on offensive defense and the two deep, so you know who you're talking about.

If you want to say something about a certain player, you get his name right and you're not just out there guessing. Yeah, I probably need one of those. Is Kinko still open? You think you can make a run over to kinko's still make that happen or i should be able to get you get one before i i leave town here friday morning i could bring you one yeah you know the centaur uh painting is still up right behind me in my studio is it still up i've seen what i've seen other stuff it looks like it got moved maybe out of it's not in the same position no it is it's in the same spot it's right behind me it's

we're actually selling merch with it on it this today the merch goes up we have a whole new line of merch by the way up for sale store.patmcfusio.com 20% off everything until monday at 7 p.m if we sell 25,000 items somebody will get a for the brand brand aj but yeah the centaur is right behind me still it's the one of the greatest gifts i've ever received i'm glad that it's uh it's still up yeah believe me i think the uh when i asked my buddy to commission that and told him exactly what i wanted i feel like he he nailed it it's pretty spot on man i feel like you you embody all that is that centaur oh my god i like you called me a douchebag just a little bit ago but now you're motivating me this is a pretty crazy little uh a roller coaster of emotions of a friendship here i can't wait to get in a booth with you i know it's gonna be uh yeah i

don't know how do you how do you see it going it's gonna be fun i my brother actually my oldest brother texted me i think last night he said oh hey that's awesome have you done a game with pat before and i said i don't think pat's done a game what do you mean like i i don't have you ever done any kind of no i know you've been you don't you do you mean? Like, I don't, have you ever done any kind of, I know you've been, you don't, you do TV all over the place. You do wrestling, but have you ever called a game? No, they didn't accept me for that broadcast bootcamp that you all go to all these players that do the broadcast of, of games and on TV and all the panels, they actually did not accept my resume to get in. I've been, I've applied numerous times and got rejected numerous times

so they don't even let me in there so i have no no teach tape no nothing nothing at all except for what i see every single weekend when i watch football games and listen to what each person's saying i try to do a little bit of research there's a lot of really terrible ones i try not to learn from but they're good ones i try to chime in with but there's not a lot of good three-man booths there's a lot of terrible three-man booths. There's a lot of terrible three-man booths. So I don't really – I think I'm just going to try to find my own lane. I'll lay back a little bit, let the smart football guy talk, I'll call my people douchebag, let the play-by-play kind of run his thing, and then I'll just kind of – I'll pipe in like a sniper whenever there needs

to be a heater every once in a while. No, I think you're going to be awesome. Trust me, that broadcast boot camp, that doesn't do anything to help you call in games. You only do a real, real little bit talking about actually being a color analyst for a game. It's more on every other aspect of broadcasting.

The only way to get better calling games is to call games. Just do it. You need reps. With you, though, you're such a unique guy that I think that's what people want. They don't want you to try to be Rex Ryan. When he first got on TV, he tried to be a TV guy. No, that's what people want. Like they don't want you to try to be, you know, Rex Ryan. Like when he first got on TV, he tried to be like a TV guy. And like, no, we want you to be Rex.

Like be who you are in your, your press conferences, be Rex. Like don't try to be buttoned up and all that. And so you've done enough TV though. You know, you know what you're doing. I think that's why Fox wants you to do the game. That's why I'm glad I get to be the, the guide sharing the boots with you. Oh, Hey, that was really cute there. I thank you for those kind words.

I will say this, though. I'm pretty solid at being me in most situations. You know what I mean? I mean, there was a couple handshake kiss the ring situations I had to do in L.A. where I wasn't fully me and it was kind of uncomfortable. I had to compliment people that I didn't want to compliment. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. You get it.

All right. But when I get on this particular weekend in that booth, I'm real excited to let her fly. I'm real excited to let her fly. See what comes out of my mouth. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing too, especially working for Fox. Fox values personalities over anything else. I feel like like data, there's other thing about like CBS, they're more of like old school buttoned up ESPN. They're a little bit of both maybe, but I feel like. There's other things about CBS. They're more of like old school, buttoned up. ESPN, they're a little bit of both maybe. But I feel like Fox, out of all the networks,

and especially people calling the games, they like people that are personality. Look at their number one crew, Gus. Gus is the most excitable, crazy, play-by-play guy. Play-by-play guys are usually just right down the middle, just presenting the facts, basically. And Gus is awesome. So that's what Fox likes.

So that's why they want you to do this game, man. Do you know this play-by-play guy at all? I do not. I've never done a game with him. I've worked with a lot of different guys. I know he works for what, the Pelicans, the basketball squad? Yep, and also the Saints. I think he does some stuff for the Saints, too.

He's down in the bayou, you dyer. He'll be awesome, man. He will. I'm sure he's pumped. We'll talk to him. I'm going to talk to him later this afternoon on the conference call with the Texas Tech coaches. I don't know if you're jumping on or not, but we'll get to speak with him.

And then, yeah, we'll get to hang out with him Friday before the game. And I'm sure he's excited. It's definitely, I'm sure, different than any booth he has ever had for a football game, having myself and you there next to him. I can't wait for that conference call. What time is the conference call? 4.30 Eastern. They'll send you an email with dial-in information.

Of course. Are you really going to join? Yeah, of course. I've been planning for this conference call all day. Who are we talking to? The Texas Tech. What's their team name? What are they?

The War Raiders. There you go. Yep. Texas Tech War Raiders. The Red Raiders. Dude, wreck them. I already know their hashtag, their whole thing. Wreck them.

We're talking to all the Texas Tech War Raiders. Okay, 430. All of them. Every player, every coach. It's going to be a while. Is that serious right now? Is it like a FaceTime? No, it's not a FaceTime.

We'll talk to their head coach, Cliff Kingsbury, and then Gibbs and Kevin Johns that are OND coordinators. What are you going to ask them, just so I know going in, what type of questions I should have ready to ask? Honestly, I might ask Cliff. I had Cliff on my podcast a couple years ago, and he was awesome. I want to know. I might ask Cliff.

I might be like, Cliff, so do you have any idea about this crew that is broadcasting your game that you're trying to become bowl eligible and the shenanigans that are going to be happening up in the booth during your time where you're trying to hang on to your job and justify keeping your gig that is your dream job? I want to see what he says to that. And I'll follow up, Cliff. Is there anything you'd like me to say during the broadcast that maybe a booster is listening or watching that might save your job? Follow up. Hey, for real. Honestly, he would love it. I mean, you don't have to say to save your job, but just say, like, yeah.

Honestly, do it. That's all they care about. Like, the smart coaches, they know how to work with the media to make them look good and to make everything about them and follow up thing though about follow up to the follow-up cliff i see that your first name is cliff with a k and your last name is kingsbury with a k did you ever think that if your parents named you cliff kevin kingsbury that would be pretty tough to sell later in life the question is what is his middle name?

I don't know. It's Timothy. I just looked it up. It's Timothy, which is my dad's name, which is a real shame. I was really hoping it was like Kevin or something. It would be great if he was Cliff Kevin Kingsbury. Thank God for Cliff Kingsbury. I never thought about that.

I guess it's common sense that the Ks were kind of off the list when you're thinking of middle names, if you have the first and last name already picked out for him i've been watching a lot of documentaries for a lot of people that'd be a dream name just want to let you know a lot of dogs there there's a lot of bad bad white people out there aj i did not know dude there's um there's one on netflix about the the aryan nation or, and I had no idea. They're a small, like in relative to population, they're a very small group of humans. But boy, they're a terrible batch of white people that I did not know still exist on this world.

It's a small group. There's like 200 of them, basically, in the thing that we were talking about. But they do some terrible, I had no idea they still existed. I'm being serious when I say it. It was very naive of me to think that that level of stupidity still exists exists but there's like a good

two three hundred of them down here in georgia still running around with all these torches and shit wow i didn't know yeah i didn't know they still exist i thought yeah there's some you know weird hillbillies that that may have some racist thoughts or i didn't know they're actually yeah they still gather yeah they still gather they have an email list to a newsletter yeah that was a big that was a big part of the documentary was the this first lady of the i forget what they call themselves the knights of something the first lady sends out all the emails it's a big job it's a big job she's she's front line of recruiting for the uh the racist white people. The first lady? So she's the wife of the head man, whatever his name is?

Well, he wouldn't get married to her because he doesn't want to appear soft. So she was just his girlfriend. So I don't... I'm telling you. I am so deep in documentaries on Netflix. I know a lot more about these weird subcultures than I should. I'm being serious when I say that. But it all adds to the standup bits though. All adds to the standup bits. Hate to butt in like this. I know AJ and Pat are on a real heater right now,

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Checking your rate only takes two minutes, and it won't affect your credit. That's upstart.com slash heartland, upstart.com slash heartland. Back to AJ Hawk. Are you still doing stand-up? I mean, at some point I'll do it again. So I guess, yeah, I'm still doing it. I'm not, I don't know. I haven't done a show in a while, so I guess it's kind of up in the air, in the middle.

Okay. I'm just wondering. Have you ever done it? What? Have you ever done it? No. No way. Why?

Stand-up? I mean, I don't know. Why would would i try that you're a great storyteller i'm not really the dynamic storyteller you are i give speeches and stuff at places and try to make some decent money doing that is it motivational i don't do stand-up is it motivational no absolutely not it seems like it's probably motivated if it's a corporate speech that's a motivational speech i know it you just lied to me i would like to hear your motivational speeches though what do you uh what do you go with if someone if someone is motivated by something i say maybe but no i'm at i'm the anti-motivational speech speech bro i did a pre-game show last week in blacksburg virginia

and they had they had me give us they wanted me to look at the camera and give a pep talk to the uab blazers playing Texas A&M. And I told the producer going on my K-Man, like, that's not really my thing. Like, I hate pep talks. I disagree with them. I don't think they do anything. I disagree with pep talks. And no joke, he was like, well, luckily he was really cool.

And he showed me one that this guy they had in the studio does. And the guy was really good. He's animated, whatever. The complete opposite of what I would be. You've got to be a bumblebee. I basically told him, I was like, all right, well, yeah, I'll do it, let's do it, whatever. And I just gave a short anti-pep talk, basically,

to the UAB Blazers, just saying how dumb pep talks are, these are stupid, you should be offended that they're having me do this. Why would you need this? You guys are 9-1, you're a good team, you don't need a pep talk, so These are stupid. You should be offended that they're having me do this. Why would you need this? You guys are 9-1. You're a good team. You don't need a pep talk, so get me out of here. This is dumb. Sorry. Bye.

That's all I had to do. It was terrible. So you did give them a pep talk, though. You said, you guys don't need this. You guys are so good. You should have faith in yourself. There's not a guy who's got incredibly good looks and great hair who went to Ohio State and played for the Packers and now is on television wearing makeup. There's nothing that

guy can say that makes your team a better team. This is stupid. You guys are a great squad already. Get out there and do your thing. I'm done with this. That's what you said. That's a pep talk, what you just gave. You just gave them a pep talk. Yeah, I guess it turns into that, but you through your

vision, it sounds much better. So maybe I should have brought you down. But no, I haven't. That's another thing. I am a motivator. I am a motivator. If you said wear makeup, I don't wear makeup. But the play-by-play guys I work with, they bring their own little thing,

and they put their own makeup on. There's not makeup people there, at least the crews I work on. What are you going to do? Are you thinking you're going to bring your own? No, I'm spray tanning, I think, Friday morning. That's all the makeup I need. Just put a little tan on this Irish skin. It makes me look damn good on 4K. What are you going to do? Are you going to bring your own? No, I'm spray tanning, I think, Friday morning. That's all the makeup I need. Just put a little tan on this Irish skin.

It makes me look damn good on 4K. Who's going to spray tan you? I got this company. Not a company, a small business here in Indianapolis. I walk in. They know the deal. I want dark tint. Make me black real quick. Then we go out there and really make it good.

You're not allowed to do that in 2018 oh we just had halloween you know you can't do that megan kelly lost her gig for asking that question of why what a dumb ass bro what what a dumb ass question but they just used that as an excuse to get rid of her because they didn't like her and her ratings were awful that's like and she still got paid 69 mil though right she won in that whole thing. I mean, she got a bad rap there for a long time, which probably not a bad rap. It's a very stupid question. But she's now a professional golfer, probably.

She's just getting paid 69 million probably to golf on a daily basis. Well, she should go back to Fox News now, right? That's what her specialty was. I know Tucker Carlson tucked her and took her spot and drove the ratings up even higher. So maybe they put her on before Tucker. I'm assuming that she pissed off people at Fox, too, whenever she went to NBC. I'm assuming.

She might just be done. If I have $69 million in the bank, by the way, I don't want to say that I am a guy that would disappear. But I think I'm going ahead and getting an Andrew Luck, Peyton Manning flip phone, going to an island. I don't know if you'll ever fucking see me again. If I get 69 mil to the... Yeah, you will, man. You say that all the time. Hold on.

Hey. Hold on. It's Warren Buffett and everybody. Hey, AQ Shipley's FaceTime here right now. Hold on. Do you know him? Yeah. AQ.

You on a podcast? Yeah, I'm actually interviewing AJ Hawk right now. He's on here. He can hear you. Hey, I hear you guys are gonna be uh analysts this weekend yeah we're analyzing a lot of shit man aj's gonna do a lot of the analyzing and i'm just probably gonna be piping in with one-liners who's he who's he uh who's he got this weekend hey who do you think's gonna win aj between tech and baylor well if tech's

starting quarterback plays they should definitely light it up. But if not, who knows, man. I didn't hear a single thing that just happened. Well, yeah, because he's on a FaceTime. He's in my headphones. He said he thinks if Tech's quarterback's there playing, Tech's going to light it up. But just for future reference, I don't like to predict games that I'm calling.

It's kind of my standard, so I won't be able to give you an answer. Oh, okay. You're Herbstreet. street yeah me and her be kind of the same way we don't want to really put any negative vibes into the air we just want to see a good hard-fought game between student human athletes student humans first athletes third all right well go enjoy your interview call me later do you want to say anything to aj do you guys know each other uh no i played against him um was he dirty was aj dirty great player great player at ohio state and in the nfl great player did you guys ever

really get into it any cte cause for either of you by either of you i don't think so i don't believe in CT. And I'll talk to you later. Hey, AJ, that guy is one of the dumbest guys in history. I don't know how well you know AQ. I don't know him well. I've known of him. I know of him and I've played against him. I don't know him personally, but I know I've heard him on your show. And the more I hear of him, the more I like that dude.

AJ, he is a guy that is a lunatic, for sure. An absolute lunatic, but a hilarious one. You also saw Pat Anger echo our chimes, yours specifically, of not letting a dude spray water in your mouth. Oh, I love Pat. I've been saying that forever, man. And that's something I told my wife. I don't know if it was during it was before

or after pat but yeah like i knew there's no way anyone's ever i'm never i'd get offended if they tried to act like they wanted to squirt water in my mouth my good buddy who's a trainer used to try to joke and try to get me during a game i could time out i would smack the bottle out of his hand and try to fight him on the field and i told my wife like the most probably the proud most proudest thing i am about from my career from second grade on is that i never laid on the field and i told my wife like the most probably the proud most proudest thing i am about from my career from second grade on is that i never laid on the field once hurt and never let anyone squirt water in my mouth i'm like other than that i don't care but that's two things i'm very proud of it is tough to watch guys just let other people spray the blood like

you you're so tired you can't just grab the thing and spray it you're so tired that you can't squeeze a bottle in your some person who makes a living trying to make everybody's life a little bit better. These water boys that people talk about, these people have 14-hour days during the season trying to get people right with STEM, rehab, and everything like that. These guys and girls get yelled at by the GMs because players are hurt that they didn't hurt.

They're getting yelled at by players for making them sit out. These water boys that you speak of, their lives are terrible, and then they've got to squeeze water into people's mouths? That's unbelievable. Well, it's a growing trend, too. It's happening more and more. I'm sure it happens in high school now. Man, I urge any high school coach that hears this,

do not start that early with those kids. Like, can you imagine the entitlement that you get if you're a 15-year-old kid and you have some trainer squirting water in your mouth? Like, there's no hope for that kid. He has no chance moving forward. The only time anything should get squirted in your mouth is if you're doing, you know, obviously non-sexual related.

We're talking about non-sexual related, is if you're at a bar and they ring a bell or a siren and they tell you to get up to the bar and a little person comes sprinting out of the wall with a bottle of whatever, tequila, vodka, anything like that, and is just pouring it into people's mouths while running down the bar. I recommend that, by the way. I'm not against that at all. I've done that on numerous occasions at a bar in Pittsburgh. The little person was from my high school. He was a legend. Rest in peace to his beautiful soul. He passed

away. Not sure if they still do it, but that is something you can definitely allow to get dumped down your throat, I think. Yeah, of course. Anything with alcohol in it, I think, is allowed. But yeah, definitely not. On the field, in front of people, in front of cameras where millions of people are possibly watching,

like, that's the ultimate just disrespectful move. I know trainers don't feel disrespected by it because I would talk to them all the time. When I was in Cincinnati, I remember talking to the trainers. They would be walking around, going up and down the line during practice, trying to squirt water. I'd be like, hey, no, get out of there. Like, what are you doing?

Stop offering that dude water. If you – just hold it for him in front of his his hand and he can grab it if he wants it. But do not put that in front of his face. And just that that shouldn't be your first offer to squirt it in his mouth. That's not like it doesn't work like that. Like you work with us. You don't work for us. So stop doing that stuff, man.

I don't know who started, but it makes me crazy. I would love to. That's a motivational speech, by the way. You just gave another motivational speech. You work with us, not for us. That that's motivation look at you just being all types of motive you're like the next fucking uh lou holtz out there with your motivation oh my god okay well i was thinking about when i uh i told uh i was where doug gottlieb was the host of the show i was working i was like what if i thought about doing like a Lou Holtz impression for my pep talk?

What do you think? He's like, I don't think that would go over real well. Listen, tonight you're a bumblebee. Bumblebees' bodies are way too big for the size of their wings. They should not be able to fly. It's a scientific fact that bumblebees should not be able to go off the ground. But tonight you're a bumblebee. You're outweighed.

You're outmatched. But you will fly tonight like a bumblebee. Tonight you make magic. How about the magic trick he did with the newspaper that one time? He ripped up the newspaper and then he folded it. And then by the end of it, it was a whole newspaper again. Lou Holtz is fucking legendary. Yeah, he is.

He does that newspaper trick about 220 times a year at all his speaking gigs. I know that much. That dude makes cash. Now, okay. that newspaper trick about 220 times a year at all his speaking gigs i know that much that dude makes cash that's now okay interesting sentence you just put there because it was a slap at lou holtz for using his same hacky thing and then you complimented him at the end for how much cash he makes so i don't know how i feel about what you just said about lou holtz well yeah good i'm glad you don't know how to feel was it a shot at at Lou Holtz or a compliment at Lou Holtz right there, AJ? I don't know. It's however you interpret it, man.

I'm just putting stuff out there, my things out there, just stating facts. I can't wait for Saturday with you. You're the man. Have a great Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Do you want to say happy Thanksgiving to anybody, or is that kind of anti your thing too? Who else is in there?

Who else is in the office with you right now uh everybody's in the office at some some point scattered around though we got a big merch deal going on so there's a lot of panic happening right now in the office oh happy thanksgiving to everybody in the office over there at heartland radio and maybe to you well that means a. A few hundred thousand people listening, too. You could have maybe said Happy Thanksgiving to them, but that's not your thing. That's not your thing. I'm not pandering. Let me pander to the crowd.

Hey, can I give a round of applause for all the troops and the firefighters out there? God bless everybody that's going through any struggles right now and all the sick kids in America. I want to give you guys, I'm giving you a standing ovation right now. You can't see me, but I just appreciate everything you do for us. Not once did you wish them a happy Thanksgiving, though. That's pretty interesting. I've just got to really pander. Let me pander to every single possible group I can, Pat.

We'll come on the air like that. All right, I'll see you at the press conference at... 4.30 at the conference call. Yep, no press conference is happening today, but yeah, I'll be there. Do you see what we just did? We just finished each other's...

I'm not your dancing monkey. you all right hey hook them war raiders over the course of the last year and a half we've done hundreds of interviews i've been the producer on pat show for right around 200 episodes and for a couple of those there are there are certain last year and a half, we've done hundreds of interviews. I've been the producer on Pat's show for right around 200 episodes. And for a couple of those, there are certain people who just don't get it. They don't get Pat's humor. They don't get his interviewing style. That's why AJ is so perfect. They were never teammates. I'm almost positive they'd never met each other before they started doing Laces Out together. And now when you see them interact with each other, when you hear them talk to each other, it seems like they were teammates for 10 years. AJ is just one of those guys who whenever Pat says, Hey, we got AJ on the phone today,

everyone kind of perks up a little bit, gets a little bit more excited. Cause you just know he's going to come with it. He's going to, he's going to bring the juice. He always does. I don't know very many people who can match his level of wit and sarcasm in the same delivery. So I just, I love every time AJ comes on the show. And obviously when you meet him in real life and he's not a dick, he's a real down to earth, good dude, then that just makes it that much better. So to wrap up the show here, we're going to go with one more interview that's same thing. Whenever this guy comes on, he's been on the show a couple times. It's just electric every single time. He's hilarious. He doesn't

really care. I mean, he's got absolutely no filter. Pat's got no filter too, but this guy has absolutely no filter. I've been a fan of his dating back to when he was a comedian before he switched personas and went to this, but all the same, just hilarious dude, hilarious interview. Great one to end the show on. Ladies and gentlemen, Wheeler Walker Jr. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now is a man that is hilarious, a man that is talented, Hilarious. A man that is talented. A man that is handsome. A man that went on tour with Kid motherfucking Rock. Friend of the show. Hilarious human. He first debuted with an album called Redneck Shit in 2016. Then in 2017, he followed up with another heater called Old Wheeler and releasing, at the end of November, I do believe, his third album, which everybody is looking forward to, titled WW3.

Ladies and gentlemen, country superstar, Wheeler Walker Jr. superstar, Wheeler Walker Jr. What's up, man? It's cool to see you, although I'll pretend like I haven't been looking at you for an hour trying to hook this up. Technology is a real kick in the dick. I think we can all agree with that. I'm very excited that this all worked out. Do you see who's on the shirt right behind me there, by the way?

That's Will Smith. Well, it's Will Smith's body and then a Mason Ramsey t-shirt. Oh, fucking shit. What are you guys doing to me you know what i decided i'm gonna go easier on mason ramsey for a little while oh why are you coming around i'm not coming around i'm just saying i was like i would decide you know all this new shit with the battle raps, you know? Like Eminem's doing the Machine Gun Kelly battle rap. Yes. I started to do it. I was like, I'm going to make a Yodel Kid battle rap.

And I got halfway through it. I was making it with a buddy. It was called Neverland. It was about how I wanted Michael Jackson to come back to life and do Neverland. And I felt so bad about it that I stopped. You had like a woken moment where you you're like maybe this is too far well I was just like you know once you start talking about wishing this kid would you know go hang out at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch maybe

that's too far I want you're in Nashville right now and Go ahead. Yeah, I am. Well, we had to fly four people. I was just saying, you know. We good? We had to send four people down to Nashville to meet Mason and his team to potentially get an interview with. That's what they forced us to do. The Mason Ramsey people forced us to fly four people to Nashville to meet him and his crew so that we could potentially have an interview with them,

get a plane, fly down there, fly back. They say it went incredible. Todd and the grandma were hitting it off well, and then they fucking blew us off. So I was coming onto your side of the whole thing. Yeah, fuck that grandma. You know what? I offered him $100,000 to do a commercial for my new record.

What is your new record, by the way? When's it coming out? November what? It's November 30th. It's called WW3. It's about my wife and kid. It's a love record. Are you excited about it?

How long did it take for you to write it? It took me about six months to write it but you know we record it fast took about a week to record um you were on tour with kid rock how was that it was cool man i mean the only thing was you know we had the bus out back and uh i would try to go to sleep after the show and he's sitting off fucking explosions back there and i'm like waking up from my sleep like you know like a like a like a vietnam vet or something crazy are you and kid rock friends now or was it strictly business no it was we we hung out a little bit he's a good dude that's why i talk to him occasionally he's a

good dude oh nice well why did you come to the indianapolis show man i forget where i was i was on my way to there i was either out of town or on my way back for i think i might have been in california this might sound like a very highbrow thing but i think i was on my way back from california i was very pissed off because a ball with the bod to bang the dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie sit up jump the boogie got me through like seven summers in high school and middle school. And also, I love Wheeler Walker's music, so I was very bummed out about it. Yeah, I was bummed you couldn't make it too, man. It would have been a good time.

And I'm sure Kid would have dug you, man. I doubt he would have talked to me. I doubt he would have talked to me. You know who I met down there was your man guy fieri how'd you how'd you what did you think about him um i wish he would stop facetiming me at midnight but other than that he's is that everybody's thing what what i was with jake owen jake owen facetimed you at what 2 a.m i think in arkansas guy fieri FaceTimed you at midnight. Is that everybody's thing?

I guess. People just want to see my face, I guess, and I don't blame them. It's weird. You're in bed with your fucking wife at midnight, and you hear the phone ring. It's, oh, Guy Fieri wants me to watch him eat. How does the wife feel about the old Wheeler Walker fame that has really taken off here in the last couple years?

Well, she digs the money. She spends it on a lot of shit. She would rather me be home more. That's no doubt. Yeah, that's kind of the life of a rock star though, Wheeler. Well, what are you going to do? Yeah, I mean, it's not my fault I'm better than fucking Garth. Do you have a song you want to sing from the new album yeah you want to hear a love song to my wife it's kind of more of a rocker

it's called fuck fuck you with the lights on yeah yeah i'd love to hear fuck you with the lights on and someone a press outlet asked me why do you have a love song called fuck you with the lights on i said real simple i go when you someone enough, you want to see it going in. All right, let me hear it. I'm going to play a little bit. Tell me if it sounds okay, okay? When I fuck you with the lights on I want to do it all night long

I want to see them old titties flapping With that switch, baby, make it happen Come on, honey, do we have a deal? I'll split your legs in the electric bill Girl, I'll write you a love, love, love, love song If I can fuck you with the lights on Girl, there's something different about you Makes me wanna try something brand new

So let's get you back to my place We got no time to waste I wanna put a big smile on your face Wanna fuck you with the lights on I wanna do a big smile on your face I wanna fuck you with the light song I wanna do it all night long I wanna see them old titties slapping Hit that switch, baby, make it happen Come on, honey, do we have a deal?

I'll split your legs in the electric bill You're all right, love, love, love, love song If I can fuck you with the live song oh well going green cause your top needs to be seen so let me you with the live i'll do it all night long wanna see them always clapping let that switch baby. Come on, honey, do we have a deal? I'll switch your legs in the electric wheel. Girl, I'll write you a love, love, love, love song. If I can fuck you with the light song.

Oh, that's a heater. It's an absolute heater, Wheeler. That was unbelievable. And I take it all back. Fuck Yodel Kid, man. I was trying to be nice for a second. But you know what? I wish Michael Jackson would come back and take him on a fucking roller coaster ride.

Jesus Christ. Jesus. I want to let you know that that was one of the most romantic songs I've ever heard in my entire life. Well, it's working. I mean, my wife, she's in the other room and she's wet. You can just sense that, huh? That's the type of romance. Hey, man, I can hear it's like a shower going on.

Okay, so what is her first read? Does she get to hear that before the public or does she get to hear that before you record it or is it just something that... Oh, yeah. I told her I was going to do a love record to her and the kids so she made me she made me play everything before we recorded it to the kids no no she she no it's a there's songs to the kid you know we got a song soon called it's a ballad to my son called all the pussy you will sway

so she's like and what she thought was sweet, but she had to hear it. She can't have me report it without her hearing it. Yeah. Oh, that's good. You're a team. It's a Romeo and Juliet operation. Sweet. Fuck yeah. That is.

Bonnie and Clyde. How long have you been with your wife? About a year and a half. Is that real or not? Yeah, yeah. How old are your kids? What do I look like? Say that again?

Well, you said kids. I would assume it would take longer than a year and a half to create kids no kid one son oh so you've been with your wife for a year and a half you have a son you got your third album coming out life is really good for you wheeler there's no way there's no way that's the thing is i always tell the truth you know and i'm not gonna um i'm not gonna be i not going to sing songs about banging groupies if I got a wife and a son, you know. I wanted to sing real shit. Well, that's why you're trying to sleep while Kid Rock's setting off fucking bombs back there.

I know. I can't hang out. He's got strippers there. I can't be hanging out with them. Nobody would ever guess why Wheeler Walker's such a gentleman. Fuck yeah, I am. All man. would ever guess while wheeler walker's such a gentleman fuck yeah i am all man now did you take any downtime if uh between last album and this album or has it been work work work

fucking work work work man i ain't got time for downtime what is the end game for wheeler walker you selling out arenas uh that's the goal but our manager says don't get comfortable um don't uh i don't know if that's happening i guess is what he's trying to say his end game is sick keep staying nice to pat mcathy oh that's very nice of him now here, here's a question for you, though. You have been outspoken not only about Mason Rams, but about other country musicians as well. Does your manager ever say, like, hey, why don't we try to befriend these people, or they let you do what you got to do?

He lets me do what I got to do. I mean, most of these guys, you know, some of the top country I hate, the actual dudes when I meet them, they're nice dudes, but I just always tell them, you know, they're like kind of lay off of you make better music then what am i gonna do who's the musician you hate right now who's musician i hate um i gotta be honest i'm garth is coming right now garth has got you right now he's kind of annoying me right now how come i don't know he's just he's just like rubbing it in playing these Garth has got you right now? He's kind of annoying me right now. How come? I don't know.

He's just rubbing it in, playing these stadiums and shit. Bro, he sold out Banker's life here five nights in a row. Yeah, he just did Notre Dame, right? Yes. And that's within the same year that in the same state he did the arena five times. Yeah, that's too fucking big. Plus he's fat. That pisses me off. What about his alter ego, Chris Gaines?

Did you like his music? I liked Chris Gaines better. Chris Gaines and I played the same size places. Are you going on tour anytime soon? Yeah, we got seven gigs left this year. Four shows on the West Coast, and then we come back and then do Nashville the 6th, Chicago December 7th,

Milwaukee December 8th. How are you on the West Coast? Do people enjoy Wheeler Walker? That's why we're back. We sold out all these shows. We're doing the same four we did last year. LA, Santa, Anna, Sanco, Phoenix.

We sold them all out last year, so we're going to try to do it again. That's awesome. What are some songs? What is the song that puts you on the map, you think, with all your fans? I've got to say Fuck You Bitch, right? Oh my god. Everybody. Snoop Dogg has a video with that everybody loves that song

everybody loves it because it's so really when i play it's fucking my stairway man they go crazy hey will are you gonna be advertising on pornhub again for this album um yeah and i got a trick up my sleeve for this time around on Pornhub. I can't tell it to you yet, but I will be advertising on Pornhub. Well, they told me they got a surprise. Pornhub is giving me some sort of gift or something. Oh, that could be big. They gave me a hint of what it is. I don't want to give it away, but it sounds to me like I'll give you a hint.

It involves penises and vaginas. Are you releasing a sex tape with your album? You and your wife. I will not be releasing a sex tape, but they may be. I don't know. I don't know what to say and what not to say. I'll say it. Put it this way.

I'm going to make a little bit of fucking news. Willer Walker parody. Well, something like that. Put it this way. I'm doing something Garth ain't doing. Garth Brooks ain't never have this much commitment to his fucking career that you have. Exactly. Garth Brooks

he doesn't even advertise on Pornhub. And he hangs up. And he hangs up as soon as he says Garth Brooks doesn't even advertise on Pornhub. Like that's a normal thing. It's a true statement. Garth Brooks does not even advertise on Pornhub. I's a normal thing it's a true statement Garth Brooks does not even advertise

on Pornhub I didn't even think about it so Wheeler Walker Jr. I've known him for a few years now because he's just a hilarious human I enjoy hilarious humans this is a hilarious character here he literally debuted his last album on Pornhub which if you think about it is so genius because they always say a lot of businesses may go down they may go up there's one business that remains at the top and is hard all the time and that's the porn industry when did pornhub like spike was that after the missile launch thing remember that story can you imagine if he was advertising that day maybe that's what pornhub's doing maybe pornhub sending out a fake missile crisis

to everybody. Hopefully, we'll be able to get Wheeler back on. That's a softer side there. Fuck you with the lights on. Very similar to Clayton. I'm starting to tear up a little bit. I wonder how Wheeler Walker feels about Clayton Anderson. We should play him in the dark and see

if he thinks anything about it. Hello? Can you hear me? Fuck I can let's go two-part interview let's do part two part two we're back you the last thing you said to us was that Garth Brooks doesn't even advertise on Pornhub um what are you doing with how did that all come to be by the way because we were talking whenever you were gone how genius that was how genius it was yeah well well you know what it was it was honestly it was just like my fucking my managers you know come to me with like these ideas like why don't we stream the album on rollingstone.com i go fuck off no one watches that shit let's go where the people are and i go he goes like what i go like you know pornhub and he goes like, what? I go like, you know, Pornhub. And he goes, I go, look up where rollingstone.com is on the biggest website.

It was like number 35,000. I go, look up where Pornhub is. It was number 11 on the biggest website. So you call up. He goes, well, I don't know anybody at Pornhub. I go, you're my fucking manager. Fucking figure it out. You're such a superstar.

I can't handle it. So you call Pornh call porn hub hi my name is wheeler walker i am a country musician that tells the truth people like my music i was wondering if i could debut my album on your website and they go we noticed you're a high quality user and we'd love to get in business with you. Now Pornhub's thinking of ideas and thinking of ways to launch your next album, which is coming out November 30th, you said? Yep.

Yeah, we'll do something cool. Like I said, you may see it going in. We don't know yet. Could we see you doing a commercial for Pornhub or something like that in the near future to further the relationship? I don't think they need it, but yeah. Do you need to advertise people fucking on the internet? Imagine Pornhub with a Super Bowl commercial.

I think they did, didn't they? No, I don't think the NFL would allow it. I honestly don't think the NFL would allow it. The only reason why they would do it is just to troll. That's the only reason why Pornhub would do it. Number 11 biggest website of all time. It's insane. Number 11 in the world.

Yeah, it's bigger than Craigslist. Well, Craigslist took quite a hit there when they took the prostitution off. Well, even that, but it's still like, you know, you want to compare that to fucking Paste Magazine? Shut up. Are there any songs that are currently being created or being wrote um i'm trying to think what i was working on oh there's some stuff that got um there's just like one there's a couple songs that i i didn't record for this record that i like there's one called

his penis has come between us but you know i don't have i don't want to do breakup songs anymore because i'm i'm happily married you know because you're in love i'm in love i love my wife i love my son is was that a a decision that you made by yourself or was your wife and son a part of that decision just about the songs or the marriage just the songs yeah well she she's like you know you can't keep singing about this crazy shit i go i'll i i'm in love i'll sing love songs but i got to do it you know the wheeler way which is you know like one of the songs on the new record's called still ain't sick of fucking you which is hey that's a big part of a relationship yes well that's what i was saying it's like that's how i think about love.

It's just like, I was after like six months, I was like, honey, you know, I fucked you for six months. I'm so sick of it. You know? And she's just like, I think that's what love is. I'm like, what the fuck? I had a friend who did a weekend in Morgantown and on Sunday he told us at brunch before we all left town that he thinks he's ready to get married

because he did an entire weekend in Morgantown and didn't want to do cocaine once. So he thought he was ready for marriage. Sounds like someone I need to hang out with. It's weird to keep fucking the same person and not be sick of it. That's very, very true. But that is the definition of marriage you know really yeah when you think about it you know i was just like you know i don't want to fuck anybody else and she's like well give me that fucking ring um so you did it congratulations that's awesome

the pressure's on me from all angles it's very wild it's a you got someone right now yeah i've been with a lady here for a couple years now. A couple years? That's about that time, man. Walker, Wheeler, I don't need your fucking bullshit. All right? I've had it from everybody else. I want to hear your love album, though. I'll write one for sure. The other day she told me she'd be a tax break, too,

so it's something I should think about. She wanted the financial route. Oh, yeah, you could get her health insurance maybe, too. Yeah. All these things, Wheeler. All these things whaler all these things yeah that's you worth we're thinking you think the same way i think of which is just like tax breaks health insurance it was you know i do love her but still there's some benefits who played your wedding you know fucking food you know actually um a buddy of mine played just an

old band friend about some friends of mine from Kentucky played. And then I got on stage, of course, and made everyone go home. You performed at your own wedding? Well, I just did. I did a couple songs just for like, you know, as like a guess who's here, you know. Of course I'm here. Guess who's here. I just can't watch another band play while i'm standing right there

you know yeah because i mean you're a legend how are you just gonna watch some amateurs who up there and perform when you did not grab the guitar for a second i mean they were and plus they were just fucking stoned idiots they said um whenever you play a song like fuck you bitch do you still get emotional about it because now you're in love and that's about a time where you weren't at all yeah it's weird it's kind of like i kind of finally understood why you know the eagles were sick of of playing like take it easy or something because the song doesn't mean anything to me anymore you know the girls like i could give two fucks about that girl because i got this one now you know yeah you don't care but i do but i do understand people but i do get off on people

enjoying it you know know? Yeah. What about her dog, though? I think that was probably the line. Yeah, I still fucking hate her dog. There's a dog in the studio right now, by the way. Valerie. Oh, yeah. Hey, Valerie, what's up?

She's asleep. I don't know why. She doesn't have headphones on, so she can't hear you. It's a real shame. But that line about the dog was really the one that made me start laughing the hardest because it was like, man, a ricochet shot at the pet just out of nowhere. But it's fun to listen to that old shit.

It's just like, man, I was in a fucking dark place back then. Now you're in a good place. Will you ever be? Now I'm in a good fucking place, yeah. Will Wheeler Walker ever sell out? You know what? I've had a bunch of people people a bunch of big-time country artists keep saying you know you sound good why don't you just sing some clean fucking shit and um i was like why am i and i literally said go why am

i gonna sing clean fucking shit when you describe it as clean fucking shit just like you know it's like you don't you're, you're not clean either. You know, the, the thought though, that if you make something clean, that it could get national play would bring more people to Wheeler Walker jr. That is technically by definition, those selling out there, wouldn't it be? That would be, here's my question. If I do that, right. What are they going to, what's going to happen when they hear all my old shit? It's not worth my time, you know?

Like they're going to love some pretty ballad of mine that's all clean. I'm going to show up and play All the Pussy You Will Sway. They're not going to know what's going on. It's like you're catfishing these people. Exactly. I don't want to play tricks on people. I want people to dig what I'm selling out places on my own. I don't need that fucking clean shit. Now that you're happy and life's going great when you look yourself in the mirror how do you how do you keep that edge the same age you had when

things weren't going great and you weren't so happy uh i talked to my business manager and that fucking you have a business manager a touring manager hey oh yeah i got a by the way um and no one ever told me how that a fucking kid's goddamn expensive either 250 000 they say 18 years 250 grand at the minimal yeah man that's that's a lot of fucking t-shirts how is the merch business roll wheeler walk it's good but it's hard it's hard you know it's like when i see that kid i see him running around wanting fucking toys man i was like fuck all i can think about is that's a lot of koozies you know um you have wheeler on your guitar there i don't know if that's been do you have a guitar sponsorship now yeah i'm with i'm with gibson and they've been good to me

oh my god i'd like to think of the the Gibson roundtable when they're thinking of the artists they're going to get behind. Like, all right, who's Fender got? All right, who do we got? We got ba-ba-ba. And then one. You know what? The thing is, at the end of the day, all they give a fuck about is numbers. And I outsell all these fuckers.

It's because you're real. Yeah. I mean, like, what are they going to do? Sponsor Dan and Shay or some shit? Who's Dan and Shay? Do I know that? They opened up a Rascal Flats this year. Are they good or what? Hey, the question's in the answer.

Answer's in the question. I mean, they opened up a Rascal Flats. That guy's got a buttery smooth voice, that guy, Rascal Flats. Butter. That's true. You knowy smooth voice, that guy, Rascal Flatts. Butter. That's true. Well, I don't know what to say about them. Fuck them. All right, cool.

You want to play another song, Wheeler? You want to hear some of Fuck You Bitch for old time's sake? Yeah, I don't want to play. You know what? Why don't I play my new pop song? Oh, I like that a lot. Let's do that. From the new record.

Okay. Can you hear the guitar okay? Oh, yeah. It sounds beautiful. That Gibson guitar sounds beautiful. Thank you, Gibson. Thank you, Gibson. Some people smoke meth.

Some people smoke crack. Some people smoke crack. Some people snort coke. Off of Ricky's boss sack. I've tried them all. Don't get me wrong. The best high there is comes from a bomb True

I like smoking pot a lot I like getting stoned alone I like vaping weed indeed I think edibles are incredible I sure love them gummy bears. Hemp shampoo for my curly hairs. Rubbing cannabis low. Did he hang up?

A lot. A lot. Did that come through? Oh, yeah, yeah. The pause got me, though. The dramatic, artistic pause got me. I didn't expect it. Yeah, dramatic, artistic pause with bad internet.

It's a bad... You said in that first line there you've tried them all. Let's talk about that for a second. When did you get into the meth there, man? You know, you gotta try everything to see what you like might know you what it was i was sitting around i had a couple batteries and some and some uh and uh i had just shit lying around the house i had a bucket you know battery it's like i went on the internet just fucking you know I went on the internet, just fucking, you know, was bored, made it, smoked it, sold it.

Blew my dick out. I guess you're just a modern-day Walter White over there. Yeah, I guess I am. Wheeler, you're a fucking idiot. WW3 coming out November 30th. You can check it out. Hilariously talented Wheeler Walker. Porn Hub. I can't wait to see what you do there.

I can't wait to see your dick, it seems like. It sounds like I'm going to see your dick. You ain't going to see my dick, but you can hope that. You can wish that. And I'm going to take that sentence out from this interview and post it online everybody can follow you at wheeler walker jr oh yeah and uh you should the dude is non-stop every day all day hilarious human you want to play a little fuck you bitch on the way out here sure sure sure that's where i need the capo i was telling you about oh see i don't really know what the fuck a capo is so fuck you bitch oh it sounds so good you broke my heart fuck your

friends we're tearing us apart fuck your dog i don't know hope he never comes home fuck you bitch hope you wind up alone Hope he never comes home. Fuck you, bitch. Hope you wind up alone. We'll end the teaser for them to go out and get it. Ladies and gentlemen, Wheeler Walker Jr. Thank you so much, Wheeler. I appreciate you, man. Hey, man, you're the best, man. Thanks again.

No, you're the best, dude. I can't wait to listen. There's no better way to spend four hours of my afternoon. By the way, that entire second half of the interview, you've just been frozen on the TV. Just been frozen. I haven't even really seen you. Do you think it worked?

The sound will definitely work the video didn't so it was very much a close your eyes and act like i was in the room with you situation it was good it was all right i don't need that yeah i mean you know how good looking i am thank you wheeler i appreciate you buddy you're the best man see you later keep crushing one of the best parts about those interviews is you honestly never know what you're going to get from him. You don't know which tangent he's going to go on. You don't know what bridge he's going to decide to burn or who he's going to take shots at. That's why he's so hilarious. I love Wheeler Walker Jr. Can't wait for him to come on the pod again. That's the show. Hope you guys enjoyed it. We will do hashtag endgang, hashtag endgame. Just let Pat know if you enjoyed the show or not.

I mean, you can cut me down. You can tell him it sucked if you want to, but I think we got some good stuff in here. So yeah, hashtag endgang, hashtag endgame. Tweet it, Pat. Let him know if you like the show. I've never been able to do this before, but I will right now.

I'm going to hit the music myself. Have a good one, everybody. Thanks for listening. We'll see you guys on Thursday. We'll see you guys on Thursday. Nibbling on sponge cake, watching the sun bake. All of those tourists covered with oil. Strumming my six string on my front porch swing. Smell those shrimp, they're beginning to boil

Wasting away again in margarita Searching for my lost sugar salt Some people claim That there's a one-man play But I know It's nobody's fault

Don't know the reason I stayed here all season Nothing to show but this brand new tattoo But it's a real beauty A Mexican cutie How I got here I haven't a clue Wishing away again in Margaritaville Searching for my lost sugar salt

Searching for my lost sugar salt Some people claim that there's a woman to blame Now I think, hell it could be my fault Thank you. I blew out my flip-flop Stepped on a pop-top Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home But there's booze in the blender And soon it will render That frozen concoction that helps me hang on Wasting away again in Margaritaville.

Searching for my lost sugar and salt. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame But I know it's my own damn fault You see, some people claim that there's a woman to blame And I know it's no damn fault