The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 061 - LIVE From The Brooklyn Bridge

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

On today's show, Pat and the Roadhawks come to you live from possibly the nicest hotel room on the planet overlooking the New York City skyline. They discuss the 2nd leg of their #RoadToWrestlemania trip from DC to Baltimore and from Baltimore to New York City, and chat about some of the things they've been doing so far in New York including Boston Connor not knowing how to act like an adult around other professionals when the crew went to the Bleacher Report offices, the #RoadToWrestlemania video that they put together for the WWE (available on their Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook), Zeet's many personalities coming to life throughout the trip, and the guys dive into Pat and Nick's experience going to a local barber shop in Brooklyn and the hilarity that ensued there. They also question if teams need an elite WR to win a Super Bowl when discussing whether or not the Chiefs are going to give Tyreek Hill big time money, and Pat breaks down how he was booked possibly the worst hotel room in New York City before moving to his new hotel, while Foxy got booked what is essentially the penthouse suite. Also included are some hilarious moments from The Lefkoe Show that Pat recorded with Bleacher Report's Adam Lefkoe from today (1:17:18-2:04:13). Also don't forget to check out the NXT preshow (Friday) and Wrestlemania preshow (Sunday) that are offered for free to new subscribers of the WWE Network. Today's episode is a fun one, come and laugh with us. Cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For streaming, creating, gaming, and more, power your passions for less during Dell's exceptional cyber savings event. Enjoy up to $400 off stunning laptops like the XPS, along with high-performance desktops and next-level Alienware systems, redefining what's possible with 10th Gen Intel Core processors. Shop special prices on top-brand electronics and. Plus, enjoy free shipping on everything. Don't forget to ask for Intel when you call 1-800-BUY-DELL. That's 1-800-BUY-DELL. Hello. It is Thursday, April 4th, and we have a good one for you.

A lot of stories from the road. You're going to enjoy it. A conversation with Adam Lefkoe of Bleacher Report fame. And I'm being serious when I say this. We're coming to you live from the nicest hotel room I've ever been in that isn't on a beach. We have a panoramic view of New York City here. In that panoramic view, you know what it did?

It inspired us to get creative and get hilarious. There's some stories told today that you're going to enjoy. We find a new couple of Zitos, and the boys dig deep into Connor, embarrassing us immensely at a very very very very wealthy place yeah it was a situation where you would think an adult human couldn't have got through life without understanding that what he did should not

be done in the place it was done but that's connor and you're gonna love us eviscerating him for it and also the rest of the trip uh today's a fun one and you want to live a fun life i know you do you're alive but are you living go live and experience something alive with your friends at c geek c geek have tickets to everything you name name it, they got it. If it's comedy, they got you. If it's a theater show, they got you. If it's a sporting event, they got you. And they got you at the best price than you could ever imagine because they scan all the other ticket buying platforms and make sure you're getting the most bang for your buck. The best ticket available for the best price available you can get from the best ticket app on planet earth and the moon. And that's seat

geek use promo code pat you get ten dollars off your first order use promo code mac if you get twenty dollars off your first order let's go ahead and save this money and let's live a little bit with your friends at seat geek also you're gonna learn a lot about this coming up wrestlemania 35 is this sunday in draft kings the leader one-day fantasy is putting you inside the squared circle with $5,000 up for grabs in their WrestleMania 35 Pick'Em promotion. It's the biggest wrestling event of the year, and the action outside the ring promises to be just as hot as it is inside the ring, thanks to DraftKings. To get in on the action, all you have to do is answer 12 questions like,

What will the first match be, huh? Wow, I wonder. How many times will an announcer table be broken? Oh. How many championships will change hands? Answer all 12 questions before 7 p.m. on Sunday, April 7th, and you'll be entered for free. Remember, you must make your predictions prior to the start of the show.

It's that simple. Then sit back and see how you stack up against the competition. You watch the pre-show that I'm going to be a part of in WrestleMania. I bet you'll get enough information to go ahead and put in some good answers for those 12 things. That's a smart move. And potentially win $5,000. Even if you're not a wrestling fan, you might be a gambling fan. Even if you're not a gambling fan, you like $5,000, you like money.

Here's the time to just go answer 12 simple questions and potentially win $5,000. Go to DraftKings.com or download the app now. Answer 12 simple questions and potentially win $5,000. Go to DraftKings.com or download the app now. Use code AMERICA to enter the WrestleMania 35 Pick'em promo for free and compete for your share of $5,000. That's code AMERICA only at DraftKings. The game inside the game. Eligibility restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com for details.

DraftKings.com or download the app now. Use code AM america and enter the wrestlemania 35 pick'em promo for free and compete for your share of five thousand dollars hey if there's a bet about baron corbin let's assume the mcafee bump let's assume also there's a lot of people that are in some matches that were a part of our Road to WrestleMania video, which you should check out now on all WWE platforms. Very hysterical, very funny.

We're on the road with superstars and people of fame, notoriety, and we're talking to them. Imagine it's going to be good. But let's not lay down the Roadhog bump here. Let's not lay that off whenever you're answering these DraftKings questions. Go win $5,000 and have a good time with it. Let's get to the show.

What? You don't want to be in the video with us? Easy on the plan, bro. You don't want to be in the video with us? It's the future. Why not? Do you want to make it back to Indianapolis? You better get the fuck off my back. I know. I've been

Team Nick lately, but since dinner, he hasn't been on my side. Hold on, hold on. We good? We'll get into it, okay? Oh, I thought we were getting into it. We are. All right, so what happened? Oh, no, I mean, we were just having some tacos.

You got me some peanut M&Ms, but, I mean, I guess tides have turned. He just said that you weren't going to make it back to Indianapolis in a very, very serious manner. I mean, you said that. It wasn't a joke. There wasn't like an inflection at the end there. It was like a, hey, like when Todd said he wanted to shoot Zito in the head. Right. Uncalled for.

I mean, warranted or not, in Todd's mind. Maybe it sounded like that. I wouldn't quite go that far. It wasn't that level. Thank you. He does a lot of little things. Oh, hats on the back. Hold on. How about today?

How about today? As soon as we walk into a lobby of Bleacher Report. By the way, shout out Adam Lefkoe. Had a great conversation with him. You're going to hear that in a little bit. A little crossover pod. Shout out to him. Hey, Bleacher Report, though, that place is incredible. Fucking awesome. We get into their lobby to go up. Everywhere in New York, you

check into a lobby they give you a pass you go to a uh a batch of elevators that is for your section of the building then you go up then there's another front office person you got to talk to to get somewhere everything is like uh it's just a process and we're not used to that because we don't have a lobby we don't have a lobby which has been problematic in the past problem people come they just yank on the door they assume they can get in they can't it's locked this ain't a lobby guys and they try and just break the door down this is the office this is there's no lobby there's no there's no safe space there there's no check-ins there's no security which is at every one of

these buildings with those turnstiles that you got to put the little buzzer thing over top of is just really futuristic you know that is going to stop from anything bad happening yeah if i've if i've seen any good documentary those turnstile things with those normally two gentlemen standing in suits to the side of them that'll stop anything that is potentially going to happen we Those things just sack tap you too. Yeah, they do. And all it is, is it's literally just a little lift of the hands and you're right over that thing. Oh yeah.

Right over that thing. That's the whole process. You've got to go here to get to there. Just let me hop over that thing and I'm in. But you can't do that. You've got to check in. Obviously, it's good procedure. Well, don't you remember when we went to gary v's office you can't even stand in the lobby there but we couldn't stand in the lobby they forced us into the corner they shoot us into the corner because we were waiting for somebody to take us to the right

security line somebody had to escort us to a security line to get a thing to go into the thing to go up to the thing it was he had a nice office i mean it was a very nice office but we got shooed to the corner. We weren't even allowed to stand in the middle of the thing. But anyways, so today we're at Bleacher Report's thing. We do the check-in thing. All of us get passes. We go through the thing.

We're waiting in our bay of elevators. It has marble around it. The Bleacher Report office is... Very nice. Gorgeous. ...spaired no expense. That building is... Time Warner, right?

Yeah, exactly. Turner. Turner. Same thing? Yeah. Is Turner Time Warner? Time Warner building. That building is- Time Warner, right? Yeah, exactly. Turner. Turner. Same thing? Yeah. Is Turner Time Warner? Time Warner Building. That's what it was.

Turner owns Bleacher Report. We're just sitting here in this beautiful marble bay of elevators. There's probably 10 of them or so. No, probably 12 of them. Six on each side. Yeah. And they were all red. None of them could take us up. So six on each side. It's like 12 elevators. All of them, six on each side. Yeah. And they were all red. None of them could take us up.

So six on each side, it's like 12 elevators. All of them were taken. So Connor decides to play a game with himself, okay? With himself. You were with yourself. There was one other gentleman waiting for an elevator with us. Other than that, pretty quiet lobby. Other than the two security at the little turnstile thing that nut taps you

and two security in the front security. Connor decides to play a game by himself. Hey, let's guess which one it's going to be. Stand in front of your door. Yeah, elevator roulette. Stand in front of your door. Loud, he says. So he's standing in front of, let's say, R3, like the right side of elevators.

Third elevator back is where he's standing. And that's where he's screaming to us. In less than a second, maybe two seconds after he screams that, the one he's standing directly in front of pops on the light. It's opening up. So he hit the one of the 12, right? Good pull. In the game that he was playing.

Good pull. In the game that he was playing with himself. Elevator roulette. Elevator roulette. Elevator roulette, which nobody else was playing. We were forced to hear about it, though. He won. So what do you do if you're a loud-ass motherfucker from Boston and you win a game that you just created that you're playing against nobody?

What do you do other than scream as loud as you fucking can in a marble bay of elevators? Very cacophonous in there. Oh, exactly. That is a great word if it means what I think it does. This thing, his voice pierced the eardrums of the security people at the front of the fucking building. The two security guys who were normally just in a boredom slump there

telling people to just go ahead and scan it. They fucking perked up and thought there was something bad happening. It was the loudest scream that ruined five people's lives. Well, including us. I'm 10 people's lives got ruined if we're counting the five people that were there that weren't us. It was a nightmare. It stopped all foot traffic on Broadway.

Everything stopped. All of New York stopped. It was the loudest, screechiest yell I've ever heard in my life because you won a game that you were playing against nobody. It was the perfect storm of situations, okay? I don't do well in lobbies. I don't do well in fancy buildings. I don't do well in New York City, and I haven't won a game of elevator roulette in eight years

or so. So, of course I went wild. How about that guy gets on the elevator with us? Because we don't know when the other 11 are going to show up there's a lot of fucking there i guess there's a lot of floors in this bay that guy gets on the elevator with us and just hangs his head in shame that he's even in the company of us i mean that guy was embarrassed and you just a little bit of self-awareness i mean we all just looked at you like you were a fucking kid and we're like

are you kidding me you i'm so sorry you start screaming in the elevator in the guy's ear that just got blown out yeah well he knows i was serious he knows i was genuine and then we had to move him to get off of the floor we were getting off on and it was just a whole scene it was the second floor we were getting we went up one floor that entire thing we went up one fucking floor before we we got there, Connor literally said, I love New York because I can yell at people and they don't think twice about it. Yeah. And that's obviously a lie. No, yeah, because you yelled at a guy today in that elevator bay,

and he was thinking a lot about it. It's the perfect storm. You can't blame me. I blame the city. Very much different approaches to this city. I was very excited we got here. We get to the Time Warner building early. There's a coffee shop next door.

I'm like, all right, let's go inside, get a coffee, hang out, sit down. We get people watching, people walking by, so on and so forth. Connor goes, oh, you guys want to go inside? Why can't we stand on the sidewalk? We could yell at people out here. He's a moron. He's a bumbling idiot. We talked about this on the RV yesterday while we were driving from Baltimore to New York.

Baltimore, by the way. What a dump. Why are you so mean to Baltimore? This is like Nick with Cleveland. There's nothing good about it. Oh, yeah. Speaking of which, Ty said it earlier. I'll quote him, if you will.

Cleveland is what? L.A. compared to Baltimore. Baltimore was just... We saw a license plate in Cleveland Street pretty bad. I mean, there were dead bodies all over the place in Baltimore. It was disgusting. It did seem a bit run down in spots. Like where the arena was.

Run down. Run down. And bombed out and depleted. I think the thing was the arena we were around was in a bad block. Exactly. We did a lot of driving with Corey Graves in the RV. By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, worth a watch. Yes.

Worth a watch. Probably a must watch, actually. Must. Yeah, I would say must. Yeah, go ahead and tag a must watch on there. I think I will. Tag a must watch. We are a bunch of fucking fools man this this video we made for

the wwe foxy was up till 4 a.m by the way which is why we all questioned the 22 hour bender before we came because this is this is how this whole thing works is we got to turn around videos quick fair foxy was up till about 4 a.m putting that thing together we released it today it is i mean i really enjoyed it. Yeah, it was awesome. Foxy, he crushed it. I mean, I don't know how loud we can be in here, but a round of... No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. Foxy deserves that, though. I don't want the round of applause because I still feel like a piece of shit for what I did this weekend. And it's just good content. It's just good content. It's hard to make it bad. Yeah. Foxy, I think this weekend. And it's just good content. It's just good content. It's hard to make it bad. Yeah.

Foxy, I think the bender to the hotel room. At the hotel. Oh, yeah. Oh, when you got off the elevator, too. You, I mean, sorry, Foxy, as I just gave you an applause. He wasn't calling you twice just to say you can have the room. No, yeah, yeah. It was a quick question.

No, I did. I actually did do that twice. No, because my room is right next to the elevator over there. So my room is literally right next to the elevator. So I was like, oh, man, I wasn't even thinking about it until seeing this room right next to an elevator. And then I was like, Foxy, are you still there? And you were gone. Foxy was gone.

No way. It was. What was it? Seven still there? And you were gone. Foxy was gone. No way. No way. It was. No. What was it? Seven steps. Let me tell you what. I took probably seven steps, and I was like, oh, man, it's right next to the fucking elevator. Foxy.

And Connor even stopped and did a fucking Bleacher Report lobby Foxy yell. Everybody on the floor woke up, and it was just like, you were gone. But by the way, by the way by the way whenever i walk into a place other than this one that we're in currently because his view is incredible yeah i go straight to i shut the blinds completely i mean i am the darker a room can be the better for me so my little hole tiny little hole next to the elevator that didn't even really have a window was perfect for me you know what i mean? Like the room that, I like a quiet room too. The air conditioner didn't really work

into my room. That's nice. Even better. So no sound at all. And it was one of those ones. Did the TV work? You know what? I got a chance

to really watch Mario Lopez in that one Access Hollywood. Oh yeah. The hotel TV. Everything else was kind of staticky though. But we got in late so it's not that big of a deal. So it was good.

The outlets didn't work, so I couldn't charge anything. That was awesome. Everything was great, but for me that's what I look for whenever I'm trying to get in a room. How was your room, Foxy? Foxy, what was your room like? Alright, let me explain the situation here. So Pat checks in, he leaves to go to the bathroom. I walk up, I check in,

lady looks at me and goes, hey, don't tell anyone, but you have one of the nicest views in the entire hotel. And I start laughing. I'm like, I should not be here right now. I do not deserve this. And I always get a better room than my boss. And my boss is the only reason I'm here.

That was very nice. Good liner. You can't tell him. You can't tell him. I go, I have to tell him. Because you don't understand understand but we work in a content business i have to tell and then she goes no no no and so then i tell and you walk up she goes are you with him are you with him and then she knows she turned on you because she said not to complete Complete reversal. Said that you took my room. And tells my boss, tells Pat, that I took his room.

You had to be up until 4 a.m. I'm happy you had the room. And I had this room coming to me today, which I knew was going to happen because Sam and I are over here. So I'm happy you got the room. You deserve a room. I don't think I did. But it is a very steady thing that I get just like with the Colts.

I got a room that was like a closet one time when we played Cincinnati. I had never been a part of something like it. Kobe Fleener literally walked in my room, reached out his hand and his leg, and touched wall to wall. It was unbelievable. It was the most unbelievable thing I've ever been a part of. Vinatieri had this fucking 13,000-square-foot plaza up on this other floor because it was like a really old hotel

in cincinnati and they had like i literally think i got a closet that got turned into a yeah it was unbelievable that's wild not like my rookie year either this is like year six seven almost and i knew it was on purpose what was like the best setup you had me yeah at a training camp uh training camp on the road because training camps we're on the road hotels i'm telling you i don't think i ever really got set up and i it was always the ogs that got like hooked up with like the suites and shit like which they deserve it by the way if you're in the league for fucking 15 years i i just always seem to have the shittiest room it felt as if i potentially had the shittiest room did they upgrade though or did you uh like me i don't think i could have upgraded those because like what if i would have

got just another room in the hotel like next to peyton's up there it was like it would be like bill paulian peyton up there probably an rsa family member me uh vinatieri up in the suites that would be fucking hysterical i thought about that with wwe stuff because i got this one room at this one thing it was a double and i was like i'm not i mean so i talked to foxy and foxy's like i like my roommate it was like a king size like little suite he had like a suite i'm like mini bar i was like all right i'm not i'm not saying anything because i'm happy to just have a room here all right we're good we're okay but i was gonna call down and be like do you guys have any like presidential suites opening i was just

thinking it was gonna be me and vince mcmahon in the top fucking what's up man yeah yeah you guys have me a double down there like second floor like i understand what the way this works but that's just not what i do and i would rather go broke than sleep in that shit i mean honestly i can't do it anymore but i don't i just have a good foxy deserves it you were literally up till 4 a.m doing that video so that's the way it goes ty schmick got to sleep a little bit because heartland radio 2.0 was edited back at home yeah how was that weird for you during a week good sleep uh yeah any even if even if i don't have to do something like my body is so conditioned to just go into bed at 4 or 4.30.

I don't get tired. I was pretty tired yesterday from being on the road, but I'm just not used to it. Hey, we did a kicking session. Yeah, that was awesome. Oh, yeah. I just remember you said on the road. I completely forgot we were even on the road there.

I was just thinking about the hotel. You had to get to that hotel. Did a kicking session in Target parking lot. A lot harder than people would think to find a place to kick whenever you're on the road to WrestleMania. It was hard.

We stopped. There's not just fields laying around for you to go venture off into. Especially level ones. Well, especially level ones, but everywhere we've been is basically cities. Yeah.

Like, when you're not in cities, football fields have the ability for you to get in but in cities they have them all like barricaded like we drove past a couple fields i was like oh it'd be nice to kick down there and then i looked around i was like i don't know if we can jump that fence like sometimes you got to jump a fence to go kick somewhere a lot of those fields i don't know if we would have been able to jump the fence so ingenuity is birthed by necessity. Bingo. Amen to that. What did we need?

We needed a couple balls. Oh, is there a Walmart around? Let's go to a Walmart. Yep. What do we need now? An upright. Okay. We got a couple guys

in an RV here. Shout out, Greyhawk. Shout out, Greyhawk. And then, hey, we can just have a couple guys stand on top there and put their arms upright.

Can't you guys just stand there? Yeah, I'll climb that ladder. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah, you can do that for sure. Okay, now we need a place to kick it from. Because I can't kick it on concrete because it might slip and fall. Because when you're trying to kick a football, you've got to attack your plant foot. So, I mean, you don't want to be doing it on concrete, CTE.

We understand CTE is a situation. So we drove around a little bit, Thought we were going to go to a park. Turns out, just a dog park. Couldn't do anything in there. It was kind of a tough spot. But then we found Target, and they had these little islands of grass. Parked that motherfucker right in the middle of a parking lot. Grabbed some grass.

Wasn't flat. It was kind of a little bit of a rocky terrain. But we made it happen. And boys, I appreciate you for your retrieval abilities. Retrieving abilities. It was incredible. Our pleasure. I think Ty might have threw out his arm. Yeah, I did. That was also a byproduct of how I was sitting in the RV.

Was it the match against Baron Corbin? Yeah, it might have been. It might have been. Ty was throwing them back. Connor and Nick were on top of the RV as uprights. You guys said it was getting a little sketchy up there. Nick, you said it was sketchy up there. It was throwing them back. Connor and Nick were on top of the RV as uprights. You guys said it was getting a little sketchy up there. Nick, you said it was sketchy up there.

It was a little windy. The RV was not the most stable on the roof. It wasn't flat. It was a little slippery. Really? Yeah, it had a little bit of a bump to it for sure. Nice little gradient there, yeah. I don't think I was respecting the grit that you guys were showing while standing up there. I thought it was a very simple thing to do. It turns out it was a little bit of a rocky terrain, too. Not at all. You must have missed my Odell Beckham I thought it was a very simple thing to do. It turns out it was a little bit of a rocky terrain, too.

Not at all. You must have missed my Odell Beckham Jr. catch when Ty threw it up to me, first one. I didn't even look, just threw it up, threw that left hand up there, got it, here you go. And the thing was, throwing the balls to you, I mean, you guys were about, what, 30, 35 yards, you and Foxy over there?

Yeah, I'd say so. I mean, the top of that RV roof, like Nick was just saying, it's a little slanted, so you got to get that wide base. Hey, you threw a couple good balls there. I mean, you had to get the wide base. You couldn't use much legs. So I was really giving it to Derek Keeter. The way one is I would kick, Ty would throw to Connor.

Connor would then throw back, or to Nick. Nick could catch it too. Connor would then try to huck it back to us. And it was a nice little system. And Foxy was filming from the camera. Hey, drone Zito came back. Oh yeah, drone Z. Drone Zito came back. That thing started

beeping like a motherfucker. It sounded like it was about to explode. I'm like, is this thing about to go down? Six more minutes. Die! Six more minutes. The funny thing about that though, I didn't do a home base for it so that thing would have flown back to Indy.

Oh, if that would have gotten lower? No. It would have bounced like 40 seconds, and that thing would have just flown straight south and never seen it again. South, huh? Right down to Florida. Yeah, right down.

Right down to Cuba. And we're diving west. All right. Every time to Cuba, and we're dying west. I'm sorry we interrupt this incredible conversation to tell you that we love that Dollar Shave Club has everything we need to look, feel, and smell our best. What we love even more is the fact that we never have to go to a store. That's because, one, DSC, Dollar Shave Club, delivers everything I need right to the door. And two, they keep us fully stocked on what we use so we don't run out. Here's how it works.

Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to get ready no matter what you're getting ready for. They have you covered from head to toe for your hair, your skin, your face, you name it, they got it. And they have this new program where they automatically keep you stocked up on the products you use. You determine what you want and when you want it, and it shows up right at your door. From once a month to once every six months. That's what I do for my toothpaste. I told you guys about this. Yeah, I remember that.

Sam and I use the Dollar Shave Club toothpaste. And it takes us about a month to go ahead and power through ours, tag teaming it together. And you know what they say? Dollar Shave Club is like, hey you probably forgot that you're gonna need this you guys might be busy or something ding dong who's there what's there oh fresh new toothpaste oh what for who whoa for me for who did i did me and dollar oh I did me and Dollar. Oh. Dollar Shave Club does that for you. It's a company that thinks for you and cares for you from head to toe.

You name it, they got it. So nice, though. Right now, they've got a bunch of starter sets you can try for just $5, like their oral care kit. After that, the restock box ships regular-sized products at regular price. So what are you waiting for? Get your starter set for just $5 right now at dollarshaveclub.com slash america that's dollarshaveclub.com slash america when you were kicking though were you judging them off by the wind uh like they were the wind flags who are swaying these guys yeah no i know it was a little breezy though it was a little breezy up there

but i mean it's afc north team afc north team baltimore speaking of you maybe you can uh settle this debate for us the reason i was upset with connor we got into an argument over dinner uh we mentioned tyree kill and he's oh yeah maybe allegedly has some issues going on right he was potentially going to get 100 $100 million contract, something like that, some insane amount of money for a wide receiver. And I said, you know, if this does turn out to be true and they have to let him go,

I think they're almost better off spending that money somewhere else, either on defense or getting a lesser receiver, because you don't need a stud elite wide receiver to win a Super Bowl. Connor, on the other hand, please go ahead. Yes, I, on the other hand, disagree, but we also have very different meaning of stud receiver. Right. So we talked about how good Mahomes is.

And Julian Edelman, too. I called Edelman a stud receiver. And Gronk, though. Gronk is stud wide receiver. For sure. So I said, if you lose Tyreek Hill, okay, you still have Kelsey. You still have a legitimate offense. Mahomes is going to get better.

And you can spend that money, maybe upgrade the defense, or you get another receiver who can play as number one. You're saying Tyreek Hill is not a necessity to the Chiefs? Yes. That's what you're saying, right? It's a luxury to me. Plus, to spend that much money. Well, Patrick Mahomes is a stud, though.

Yeah. Young quarterbacks have done well without Tyreek Hill. I mean, Jared Goff did. Then I said, you look at the past, what, 10, maybe 15 almost Super Bowl winners, there's not one real elite, top-tier wide receiver on any of those. Man, this is because you're a Steeler fan, and this is Antonio Brown. That's all this is. This is Antonio Brown.

This is the Antonio Brown hate creeping. Don't need him with the Super Bowl. Don't need him. Don't need him. Don't. 15 years. Look, you did the research. We did the research. Shit.

Went on to Google. There's no doubt that's part of it, but is it wrong? I think Gronkowski is a superstar wide receiver. So is Julian Edelman. So the Patriots have won a Super Bowl with a superstar wide receiver. You think Julian Edelman is a top five wide receiver in the NFL? No. Gronkowski definitely is, though.

I also think Jordy was when the Packers won the Super Bowl. Gronkowski's top five wide receiver in the game. Yeah, but I don't know if Kelsey's Kelsey's incredible. Kelsey's a very fun, good tight end. Gronk though is just a different specimen when Gronk is playing

and it might be because the system he's in too is taking care of him in a very good way. You got Julian Edelman helping him out a lot. But also they've got some super geniuses over there. Not that Andy Reid isn't. Not that Andy Reid isn't. But we can all assume the Belichick will go down as the greatest coach of all time. The way that they operate with Gronk is just another animal.

And Tom Brady being a veteran quarterback, think about whenever Tom Brady used to just send Gronk out for a one-on-one on the goal line. That wasn't a plate call. That wasn't anything that was just like, here you go. They're not doing that with Travis Kelsey, right? You could. I don't know why they're not. They're not doing it.

But that's the benefit that Gronk has is those types of situations being set up for him to be great. I don't think Travis Kelsey always has those situations. But Gronk is just a different fucking animal, dude. That guy. That's why I think. No, I agree. Also, you're not paying Edelman $100 million. You're not paying these.

Brady either, by the way. Brady isn't getting the max contract he could get because he's already wealthy and he takes a pay cut later, which is hysterical, by the way, every time they say, like, oh, this person's making more money than Tom Brady. It's like, in his entire career, he has? Or, like, just this year in particular? Brady's doing just fine. I don't mind, though, a quarterback taking a little bit of a pay cut

and not being super greedy, by the way, so you can build up the rest of the team. I thought Luck was potentially going to be that guy because Luck is very much a golly, G-shucks. He got beat up. So I thought they were going to be like, yeah, spend some money on the offensive line so I don't get killed. But I don't even think the NFLPA would let him. And that's the craziest part.

I don't think the NFLPA would even let him. I think even if some quarterback was just like, hey, that's what I want to do. I don't want to take the max contract. I want to let the team do that. The NFLPA will be like, you know that. Then you're setting the bar lower for guys behind you. You know what I mean?

And I think that conversation does. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm assuming that that conversation definitely would happen. Makes sense. Because everybody's about getting all the money you can get. Yes, speaking of Russell Wilson. He just said, April 15th, I want to restructure or I'm not coming back. After?

Yeah, he set a deadline. Yeah, but he said he's not going to miss any practices, right? I think so. So he's talking about after his contract is up? I'm not sure. It made it seem as though he wanted to be restructured by April 15th. Also, another guy who's won without an elite receiver yeah yeah but elite defense there but they had to pay them that was a rookie quarterback right that was the rookie that

was the very first time where i mean i've been pushing this narrative for a long time but whenever you watch people spend money on the team as opposed to the main four or five positions that they always spend on, but when you watch people spend money on the team team and watching them excel, and I'm not saying Russell Wilson is not a great quarterback, but that team is the reason why they were so fucking good, just like the Broncos were when Tim Tebow was there. That team, that defense was insane.

And then they had to pick and choose. Okay, we've got a quarterback that's already won, so does that mean we have to pay this guy because he's won and it's hard to find a quarterback and then everybody else doesn't get any money so then they all get pissed off and leave and now they're about to lose him too so they lost the legion of boom and they're also going to lose russell wilson if they don't restructure it it's like man these quarterbacks got these teams by the balls by the balls that was my overarching point was that if they can get away with replacing Tyreek Hill with a decent receiver, they can spend that money elsewhere to make that a legitimate team with a stud quarterback on a rookie contract.

Yeah, but I think Tyreek Hill is one of those guys now. By the way, if he did anything wrong, let's go ahead and punish him for sure. Let's let the world do what it's supposed to do. you're a bad guy what happens to bad people let's say it all comes to pass and it was a miss or something i don't know i don't know i haven't researched the thing let's say he's back in the league though he's going to be one of those guys now who's the old vet that travels around makes money not huge money because nobody's going to feel obligated to pay him huge money because he's got red flags. So they're just going to get him for a flyer,

just a little bit of this money, a little bit of that money, but he's going to be a wet, highly sought after guy. That's just going to get paid. Not as much as he should get paid. If this all comes to pass because of his, because of his fucking resume and his,

his entire life story. And it's crazy to think though, that the potentially the the the wide receiver that changes football tyrico most explosive wide receiver i've ever seen in my nobody like him nobody like him before ever faster than everybody yes smaller too which he uses to his advantage just like darren sproles yeah and he had a quarterback that could keep up with him and it went according to offensive coordinator that was just designing things for him to succeed and he had a quarterback that could keep up with him. And an offensive coordinator that was just designing things for him to succeed.

I mean, it was like the perfect storm. And then this comes and it's just like massive distress. Sad. It's a sad situation for everybody. What's that? Starting with Kareem Hunt too. Oh, my God. Going to that to Tyree Kilmath.

It's crazy. It's a crazy world. Baltimore's trying to change football. I mean, we're in Baltimore. I think that town is going to love the ground and pound offense. I'm sure they will. Hey, there were some bad parts of Baltimore. There were some good. That Jimmy's Famous Seafood is incredible.

That place is awesome. That was the best. So good. Hey, owner of that place, his name's John. He's a Greek fella. Took over running that place when he was 20. His little brother was 16 because his dad passed away. Had been open since 76, I believe, or something like that.

Good guy. Great guy. He got into a battle with PETA on the internet. I'm not here to jump into any wars. I just want to let you know that I enjoyed the hell out of that crab cake. Yeah, yeah. Me too. Hey, that crab cake was incredible.

And you guys ate all the baked goods that they just brought out in front of us. Oh, my goodness. Holy shit. Like five different pieces of cheesecake, like some chocolate shit. It was incredible. As soon as it got put down in front of me, I looked at him and looked at John, the owner, and told him to go fuck himself. And I had to excuse myself from the room while you vultures came in.

And just literally, you guys had forks in hand and we're just tagging them all looking like you enjoyed them so much and i'm just waiting for fat monday and i don't know hey john if you're listening i would like some of those sent to the office for fat monday fat monday which is coming up actually it might be fat tuesday we'll do fat tuesday after wrestlemania because monday's gonna be a travel day so let's i want to really prepare and get a good night's sleep for fat tuesday it's coming after wrestlemania i's going to be a travel day. So I want to really prepare and get a good night's sleep for Fat Tuesday that's coming after WrestleMania.

I've been on quite a diet. I cracked the other night. I had a Reese's and a peanut M&M, but that was to reset the system. Yeah, recalibrate a little bit. Re-shock the system for this weekend

because we all know I'm looking for a jawline because I'm going to be on the WrestleMania pre-show. Potentially the first time Vince McMahon sees me on TV, that guy can do a lot of things for your life if he likes you or not.

So I'm trying to get attractive for that. Fat Tuesday coming up, though. If you're listening, I would like those same motherfucking baked goods that were shoved in my face the other day when I couldn't eat. Sent to the office, Fat Tuesday. He's a good guy, man. How hospitable were they to us?

Too hospitable, to be honest. Well, yeah, that cake. That was about enough for me. Full-on tour of the entire operation. It was awesome. The kitchen. We saw the kitchen. We saw the people that made the baked goods.

We did. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Bro, we did that in a goddamn Capitol Hill. Yeah. Have we talked about that yet? Yeah, we did. Yeah, Tim's team. Last episode. Hey, not even just in the goddamn Capitol Hill. Yeah. Have we talked about that yet?

Yeah, we did. Yeah, Tim's team. Last episode, yeah. Hey, not even just the cakes and the desserts. They tried to lure you in, too, with a shot. Tim, the campaign manager. There you go. What's that?

They put temptation right in front of you. I know. They do this. He knew what he was doing, too. He was like, if I just get one down. Did you read the post he put on Instagram? Mm-hmm. He said the first time he complimented me at Pat McAfee's show,

walked in here, he ordered 100 cherry bombs within 30 seconds of arriving. And that was for John Jones' victory party that was happening there after he fought in Baltimore. I was there with a crew of humans, man. Me and A.Q. Shipley were the only Caucasians in there. And I'll tell you what, we had a great time. The Jones family is very nice to us i mean they were all art jones went on to be a teammate of mine they were all very nice to us and jimmy's jimmy's famous seafood place at first there was a big question mark i think on me and aq being the only two white guys in there and i

order 100 cherry bombs as soon as we walk in like Like, literally, as soon as we walk in, right to the bar, oh, welcome to Jimmy's. Oh, hey, thank you for that. That means a lot. Thank you. My name's Peyton. What we're looking for is 100 shots. What type?

Whatever's easiest for you to make. The guy just knocked a guy out. So I think we're going to celebrate that here, and this would be nice to be liked at this party. You know what I mean? Okay, you got it. And then the bartender had to call over the owner to come help John, and he looked exactly like he looks now,

which is like he's a buff guy who dresses well, carries himself nicely. And he goes, who are you, man? I'm like, hey, who are you, man? And he said, I'm the owner of this place. I'm like, ah, I'm about to give you a lot of money, I think. He was like, you're the guy that ordered 100 shots. I'm like, that's right. He said, you're all right by me, bud.

I was like, okay. And ever since that day, that was like years ago now. That's like six years ago probably, seven years ago. I'll get a message from him every once in a while when I do something. I'll send him a message. Like very friendly from that entire evening. And then whenever he heard I was coming back, he was like, you better like you better because that was the first time you've been back since that night yeah that's why he he basically sent me a message i was like you better come back in here i'm like hey man you got it here we go

i get in there i got a goddamn tower of cold seafood all the oysters you can eat their oysters weren't worth a god damn i don't know if that's what good oysters taste like, but hey, I almost vomited right on sight. Yeah. But the crab legs, the lobster, the shrimp, the cocktail sauce, the crab cakes, and I'm assuming all the other food is really good. They had like a... So it's an older place, so it has a lot of history, but the chefs, I feel like, are talented chefs.

Oh, yeah. I feel like there's very talented chefs in there because those baked goods came straight off a TV show. Yeah, they did. You know what I mean? And that goddamn crab cake was something else, man. I don't even know. I don't know how many carbs were in there.

It was the same day I did the Reesey thing. I assume more. But hey, hey, Fat Tuesday, I like some of them crab cakes, too. Just charge me man just put it on the tab I'll come back he said he was sending you some too

yeah yeah he wants to get involved in a golf outing he heard I was doing a golf outing he was like oh we'll send you a bunch of crab cakes

it'll have cooking instructions in it no big deal you're the nicest dude he was a very good guy awesome his mother was awesome too oh big hug for the mother

and we even FaceTimed with his with the granddaughter oh yeah spoke some Greece Greek I'll tell you what I feel like people Big hug from the mother. And we even FaceTimed with the granddaughter. Oh, yeah. Spoke some Greek. I'll tell you what. I feel like people really open up to us. It's because we give them standing ovations every time.

And 100 cherry shots. I was laying in bed last night, and it was a smaller bed, kind of an uncomfortable bed. And there's potentially, Foxy, did you a fucking nightmare but um i was laying in bed just thinking about there were other congress uh people's offices to our left and right of anthony gonzalez's office set up like little hotel rooms in there yeah i didn't know i didn't know that their offices were like little hotel rooms where you walk in there's one somewhere better than others i would assume the i would assume like the longer you're there

the bigger your hole gets that you have in the wall they're in a tunnel downtown down under the ground it's kind of like how catfish operate by the way huh interesting noodling you know when i went yeah noodling and fisted fish. Mm-hmm. They know where the big holes are, so they know that there's going to be a big catfish there. So even if it's not the same catfish that was there a week ago, Might be a different one.

There's a big catfish in this hole because as you get older, you grow into bigger holes. Mm-hmm. So as long as you have like five, six good holes. Amen. Amen. A lot bigger holes when you as long as you have like five, six good holes, amen, amen. A lot bigger holes when you get older, Nick. A lot bigger holes. Every single time.

You should probably stop paying for it. Some holes in your hair, too, we talked about. We got a lot of optimism for Nick's hair, by the way. Here we go. Let's go. We'll talk about that in a sec. But I think that happens with the Congress people. Anthony's brand new there. It's three months for Gonzo and that damn thing. So his office kind of smells.

Let's assume there's other rookies around him. We were screaming and clapping in there. What do you think the Congress person next door, did they just figure out the health care bill? No. No, no, no. Just, uh, just the sleeveless hoodie guy and the sweat pant guy and the loud guy.

Uh, they just clap for the, because they won the campaign. Yes. Three months ago. Oh, we're the dumbest. The traveling has been awesome. This morning, I need a haircut bad from the road. You know, when you're living in a Nestle Roadhog, sometimes your feathers can be disheveled. Oh, yeah.

They get ruffled. They get ruffled. They do. There it is. They do. The feathers can get ruffled. So this morning, Nick and I went to a barbershop, and we literally, at the hotel we were in, our room was kind of a smaller room.

We FaceTimed it, and I had to do it from the hallway because the lighting was bad. Yeah, it looked small. Yeah, it did. Sometimes things can look bigger, you know. But that one, it looked small. It was small. Anyways, so we FaceTimed. I had to go out in the hallway because there wasn't enough light in my room.

And I FaceTimed Nick. And I was like, hey, man, you want to get your hair cut? And Nick said, yeah. I was like, me too. I'll meet you down. We agreed on 30 minutes. But then everything started happening with that video and i had a lot of questions so it ended up being like 45 50 minutes which i think nick expected come accustomed to standard pat time which is at least 20 minutes after if it's work if it's work related if it is like 100 work related i will be there probably

early or on like right on time yeah that's true but if it is anything else boy i'm very relaxed with that schedule yeah and i think you know why it is i underestimate how comfortable i can get in a particular you know what i mean like oh we can do that 30 minutes for sure right yeah and then i sit down and i look and there's like one question being asked from somebody and i like answer that question and then like i'll facetime or talk to sam for a couple minutes and then i'm just kind of like relaxing and by that point i'd already forgot that we're going to that bar and then i look at my thing and then i go back to like oh fuck i look back at what time i facTimed you. I'm like, that was 22 minutes ago. I was just ready.

Hey, man, I haven't even showered yet. So then I got to open my bag, which was tough because the room wasn't big enough for the bag. Right. Because I had to move the bed basically to open the bag. You know what I mean? So I opened the bag. I get ready. And by that point, it's already 40 minutes.

So it's 100% my fault, but it's never on purpose. I want to let you know. It's never on purpose. So we go to this. We type in barbershop in front of the hotel. We go down there. And there's a Tecmo. What was it called?

Mecto. There was something with that barbershop. And then there was a King's barbershop. Yeah. And we both agreed immediately we're going to get a Royal Mother of the King's. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we're going to get a royal mother yeah yeah there you go yeah we're going to kings so we walk down the street we turn left we turn right we turn left and we go to walk in where it is and it's up these steps and then um an indian lady who is in a very

floral dress with a bluetooth headphone on a bluetooth cell phone on she goes uh like haircut to us and we go yeah and she goes down here and like points down in this other office so we're like okay sounds good we walk down there it's a jamaican man right there seat one there's only one row of seats one row like five six um chairs five six chairs a little tiny little lobby and then a checkout area and uh as soon as we get down there's a jamaican man there he's cutting somebody's hair in uh another uh another very african man and um i go you guys take walk-ins they go yep we go cool we got next they're both cutting hair and we just go sit down i looked around and i was wondering to myself are we the first white people to ever go into that fucking barbershop you you think? Well, no, because there were pictures of white dudes' haircuts on the wall.

Yeah, but that was... They were the stock. No, but it was like the option for what fade you want. You know, like, do you want a medium taper? Do you want this? And it was kind of in the back corner. But when we walked in, that place stopped. I mean, that place, everybody stopped in there.

I mean, like, razors came off the heads. Eyes came lifted. Oh, okay. So those posters were more for if white people come in, that's what they should look like? Yes, it was very much like that. I'm glad you said that because we have not talked about this. Nick and I have not talked.

Nick and I have not talked. As soon as we walked in, I go, do you guys take walk-ins? He goes, like, yeah. I go, cool, we got next, right? Just, like, wide open, like, very confident. Then we sit down, I start looking looking around and i'm like oh man yeah we're definitely a little white motherfuckers and we're just sitting there in the there was two of them it was the jamaican man who had long dreads but they were up in like sway you know

sway has that hat yeah the sway hat he had like a sway hat and then uh the other guy he the guy with the hat seemed to be a lot more confident right so he was kind of rolling with it the other guy was very like meticulous like bob ross bald too bald man too bald man too so he gets finished up first and i go to nick i'm like nick you gotta go with that guy man i'm going with that guy in the back man i gotta be on tv i'm so sorry that you have to be the skinny pig he goes no problem he stands up and gets down in there, right? That guy starts. Company man.

Company guy. Hey, we were just talking about how you're a team guy, too. Team guy. Look at him. Hey, you're trying to get back on his good side here? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, earlier on the Uber ride here, Nick, taller than me, decides, you know what? This is an Uber XL.

I'll get in the back. Oh. He lets me sit up there. You know what's wrong about me, Pat? No, no, no. And everybody knows you're the best in the world at being humble. Best I know. Best ever. Yeah. You're the greatest of all time, Pat. No, no, no. And everybody knows you're the best in the world at being humble. Best I know. Best ever.

Yeah. You're the greatest of all time, really, of being humble. So he's getting his haircut. This is all going to come back around, by the way, going to the first one. So that guy finishes. Nick's getting a cut for like five minutes. I'm sitting by myself, and I am looking around, and I'm like, yep, definitely. I mean, we just – the people that are poking their head in, the people that are, there is not a single white person

even in the radius of the area. There's a woman sitting next to me getting her haircut that Pat definitely called a dude. Yep. Yeah. Okay. No, that was tough. I mean.

I could see how you made that mistake though because she had the hair, she had like a, it was like an OBJ cut without the dye. Yes. Very popular hairstyle now. Yes, it was. It was OBJ's haircut. That's exactly what it was. Without the yellow dye on the hair. Yes. Very popular hairstyle now. Yes, it was. It was OBJ's haircut. That's exactly what it was.

Just without the yellow dye on the top. And she wasn't looking at me at all. She was looking away the entire time getting her haircut. I could hear them talking about her going to junior college, though. I didn't know what sport it was. I thought it was a guy, by the way. So I thought it was like soccer. It was an English accent, too.

Yeah. Some guys have, like David Beckham, if you just close your eyes, it is a little bit high. The accent, I think, I don't know. It might just be me being wrong. No, you're right. You can raise a pitch. But also, hoodie and sweats, too, very much. I like it.

I mean, that is a masculine haircut. I mean, call it what it is. The OBJ haircut is more masculine. I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. After thinking about it. I think it plays both ways. She wasn't wearing makeup. It it's it's easy mistake to make i say good luck man

on her way out because she was talking about transferring to a juco uh for and then going d1 after that so like i'm up now this is already after i've realized that there's no way any other caucasians have been in here i sit down and uh the person that was just in there is getting up to leave, walks by, like daps him up, you know. And I'm like, hey, good luck, man. And the guy, my haircut guy is like, she is a basketball player. Yeah. I can stop. Yeah, she is a basketball player.

And she's thinking about transferring to a junior college. I was like, oh. Yeah, JUCO. JUCO is, I said JUCO. JUCO a junior college i was like oh yeah juco juco is i said juco juco means junior college that's just wow and then it just kind of stopped for like two three minutes and he was like what do you do i'm like it's a rough start it's a rough start i'm like what's your name and he's like devin and it says devin's barber shop on the thing that i'm wearing i'm like you own this place he's like yeah i heard it for like three years or so he's like everybody all the it's Devin's Barbershop on the thing that I'm wearing. I'm like, you own this place? He's like, yeah, I've heard it for like three years or so. He's like, everybody, it's basically he's the local barber there.

So it's like everybody that lives in that area comes to him. So he told us her whole story. She's going to Texas. She's from England. She's going to junior college, and she's going to Texas. She's a real baller, I guess. But I definitely made a mistake there. But we talked to him.

I started talking to him. I mean, we got along. We started getting moving. The guy's name that was cutting Nick's hair unique no yeah because my guy Devin goes his name's unique and I was like well what is it he was like it's unique I was like okay like I'm excited to hear it you know like I'm like okay and I'm like waiting for it and then it clicks i'm like is your name unique and he was like yeah that's what he just said i was like well you can hear how i yeah your name's unique i thought it was going to be something that's on me and i'm just sitting back getting my haircut at this time it's just such a weird it's such like i man don't mess don't make this awkward for these these two guys are trying their best right now you you know what I mean? And Nick, Unique, had a little bit of an issue with the right side of Nick's head.

On the back side, he spins Nick's chair and goes to Devin, he goes, what am I supposed to do with this? And Devin, my guy, goes, oh, he's got a dent in his head. Yeah, you've got to move it to a one and a half right there. And then Devin, my guy, takes his clippers around me over to him, fixes Nick's dent, and then Unique goes, I've never seen that before. And then sitting in my thing, I'm like, it's Unique, it's Unique.

Stop. I was like, oh. I couldn't see his face, but I knew he was enjoying himself behind me over there, just giggling. Who, me? Oh, he had both the barbers over there. It looked like he was getting double teamed by these guys. Unique was new.

He was in training. But thank God, Devin. That guy was good. Devin was good, man. This haircut he gave me, he said I could see what you were trying to do. So I just kind of went with it. I was like, yeah, man, he did a great job. This is an incredible haircut.

At one point, I offered to fly him to Indy like every other week. And Devin was like, I'd love that. He was really cool. He had some lines now. He had some lines. He was like, so what do you guys do? Or where are you from? He said Indianapolis.

He said, what do you do there? I was like, we just make stuff on the internet, man, podcasts, videos, stuff like that. And he was like, I bet to a lot of people it didn't make sense. And then it made a lot of dollars, and it made a lot of sense. And I was like, hey, I'm going to let you know. I'm going to write that one down. Seven, I'm going to write that one down. Seven, I'm going to write that one down.

And he laughed or whatever. He was a good dude, cool guy. And I feel like they appreciated us. Oh, yeah. They talked about people like Connor, for example, who come into your space, you know, don't give any room to breathe, soaking up all your essence. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Soak up all my essence, which is a great line. He said, like, somebody soaked up all his essence. I'm like, oh, I'm going to write that one down too, Devin. I'm going to let you know my essence, which is a great line. He said, like, somebody soaked up all his essence. I'm like, oh. I'm going to write that one down, too, Devin. I'm going to let you know that. I was like, these things I am going to use. I like Devin a lot.

So if you're in Brooklyn, I don't know if it's King's Barbershop or Devin's Barbershop, but I do know if you go to King's Barbershop, it's right below it, literally to the right below it. He took care of us. It was a good haircut, man. Good haircut. I enjoy how much our office likes haircuts. They're real. Our office is very picky, too. Someone comes out after a haircut, everyone's staring.

Everyone's eyeing them up and down. There's some times where it's like, oh, you got all fucked up up there. Hey, not bad. If you get a not bad, that means it's a really good haircut you get to a point too it's like we're on camera all the time every day i'm not going for convenience if some guy fucks up my hair like i'm gonna be pissed in three weeks i am gonna get roasted and i am gonna have to look at myself like that a lot like it's not just in the morning when

you brush your teeth and look in the mirror or when you go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Videos of us are out every day, all the time. It's like, man, if I just... You can get a... And I have a weird head. I have a unique head. I have a unique head. Yeah, Nick, we learned today. Did you know that?

No, I mean, I knew there were some bumps up there. I wouldn't have called it a dent. Devin, hey, Devin, Nick said, do you got any? Okay. I'll say it. So there was this can. It was a spray can, like hairspray spray or spray paint. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kay Banksy spray paint can. And it said black magic on it with a panther. Oh, I love that. And I go, oh, what's this black magic stuff? Can we spray that on his head to get a thicker hair or whatever? Because they were cutting Nick's hair. Just a shot. It was. I didn't know. I had to do it. I mean, I had to let them know

that this is all fun and games here. And he goes, no, I won't use that stuff. That'll make it sheer or something. Shiny. Shiny or something. And Nick was like, I don't want that. And he said, I got some other stuff though if we're trying to thicken that up a little bit. And then, obviously, probably me more than Nick was like,

yeah, I want to hear about this. You know, like, what do we got going on? And he went into this entire breakdown of Nick and told Nick what? I got two summers left of good flow. With this air. With this air. If I don't do anything. If he does nothing, he got two summers left.

And I think he didn't follow up with that second summer, though. I think it's going to be a goodbye. It's going to be like a Derek Jeter. It's going to be a cruel summer. Which I remember. You know, I get it. I'd be 35 at that time. It was a good run.

No, that's a good point. That's exactly what Nick. I think Nick, by the way, Nick calls himself a realist. Some people would describe it as pessimism. He became very optimistic and positive about that two-year prediction by Devin. And Devin seemed like a guy who would not lie to us. I mean, I've seen it coming for a while now. I know where my hairline used to be.

I know where it is now. I see it getting thin. Yeah, but that's all right. You know, because if you have a tough hair. Look at this guy still trying to get you back. This is making it worse. This is making it so much worse. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but if you do,

you know, you got hair troubles, you can wear a pub hat or a cuzzy hat. Oh. It's the word. There are alternatives. I mean,

did you see what my haircut looked like in September? It fucking changed my honor. You thought it wasn't coming back after that. So everything. I told you I had been trying to grow it out

and then I made that bet with myself, the internet, however you want to phrase it. The internet will say, oh, is that right bet with myself, the internet, however you want to phrase it. And I lost. The internet will say, oh, is that right? That's what the internet will actually say. Oh, is that right?

So I was discouraged. You'll do what? It was like, I want to grow it out for one last run. And then we had to cut it all off. And I was like, you know what? I don't look that terrible if I have to go that short. So I'm fine. No, yeah, it was a good look.

You got a good-shaped head. Very lucky. Wait, did you get any tips for the two summers? Yeah, what is it? Esteroil? Castor oil. Esteroil. Like for the cars?

I don't think you put castor oil in cars. Yeah, it's how my key runs. Yeah, it does. That thing barely motherfucking runs, but it runs, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. Castor oil? Yeah, is that car oil? No, are you thinking castro?

You're thinking gastro GTX. Yes, love that stuff. No free ads, though. Listen, that place might suspend this show for you saying you use that in a fucking Kia, to be honest. I don't know if that's a no free ad situation. I think that's a potential getting suspended from a platform for a company. Motor oil on your head might work, too. I don't know.

You know, I've never tried it. What is the castor oil? I don't know what it's specifically used for. I've heard of it for years. He said it's natural, and it's only sole purposes for you to keep your stuff. So we're going to give it a shot. You know, we'll try it out. That or McDonald's oil, I heard, works.

Are you just naming different oils? No, there was actually a story. Yes. There's a chemical in it that grows hair. It really just feels like you're just naming off oils right now. How about this Moroccan oil? Just go ahead and toss that sumbitch in there. Olive oil.

Think about that one. Whoa, that's crazy. It's like they're Italian. Easy, bro. Yeah, I was kind of shocked. I'm 0.09% Italian. Why don't you fucking take it easy, bro? I think I'm like 0.3.

We learned that Zito's part African. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Zito that Zito's part African. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Zito's father is basically Yasuo Puig. Looks just like him. Besides. Yasuo Puig.

The way you pronounce that, it sounded like you were saying something very different than a human's name. Yasuo Puig. Yeah. We learned that the other day, right? That was something that just popped out of nowhere. Yeah.

It was just one of those things that I never really talk about that side. Why? Whoa. Whoa. why is that that's what you call a trap trap i don't like this well you walked right in it's uh my mother's father uh he is uh straight from cuba and yeah he is uh part african or african cuban is that what you said i don't know that's a very are you an african cuban american i don't know. That's a very – Are you an African-Cuban American? I don't know. African maybe? Hey, is there right now an African Zeet Twitter account? Has that started up yet?

Oh, no. If it isn't, give it fucking 25 minutes and we'll get one. Heel Zito. Heel Zito is – Hey, by the way, Heel Zito very much – Evil. Dead. What do you mean?

He hasn't shown up at all. Has anybody seen Heel Zito is very much evil. Dead. What do you mean? He hasn't shown up at all. Has anybody seen Hill Zito? He's scared. I showed up with Kurt Angle earlier today. What happened? I was about to just pedigree Kurt Angle today. I thought that. He was walking, though.

I'm going to tell you right now. Kurt is in bad, bad shape. He's seen. Fucking Jesus. He's on his goodbye tour. He'll see. He'll see. Fucking Jesus. He's on his goodbye tour. He'll eat. He'll eat. You don't have your sunglasses on.

The only time he'll eat shows up is whenever he screams, back on, and then something happens. And then something happens. No, but we saw him getting food today, and he went to a private room. And I swear, Ty was there too. He was going to rip this door off because he couldn't get in. He put his key

card up to the thing like 45 times and it just wouldn't I was under the impression maybe he's just expecting someone to throw him through the glass. I thought he thought this was like a bit. Yeah, like he didn't know how to open it and he was just like waiting for someone to throw him through the glass. Like that was the only way

he could get through. You thought this was potentially being filmed maybe yeah he could not figure out how to open that fucking door it was it i mean that's like when a door dash person shows up at the office exactly yeah and they just come jamming on the door same thing so did you go why did you want a pedigree Kurt Angle you want an olympic gold medal with a broken freaking neck. For America. Pittsburgh legend. I can't control Hill Z when he gets in his mood. Yeah, but Hill Z's dead.

If Hill Z would have took out Kurt Angle, he'd be alive. I like Road Trip Z a lot. With the pipe. Yeah. The pipe Z is the best accessory Z. Road Trip Z is a very good one in my head. He comes out. In my head, too.

It's really good. Where'd you get that pipe? I actually don't know. It just came with the road. It's like a handcrafted pipe. It's like a real life, very nice pipe that popped out of nowhere, if I am not mistaken. That thing just showed up out of nowhere when we landed in harrisburg yeah it was already there yeah when i woke up and we were driving to i mean this has been on the rv forever but when i woke up and zito came down the stairs and it was it was in his mouth i have no idea where he got it yeah that's that's how he introduced it to people by the way is just

walking into a conversation with it already hanging out of his mouth as if we weren't even going to see it like it was a very normal thing to show up looking like motherfucking Popeye. Nobody has had a goddamn... What happened? Somebody recognized? Are you... I think you are. With pipe in mouth. That's Zito?

Yeah, some guy asked Zito that and that was his response. Hey, somebody recognized Zito. some guy had Zito That was his response Hey somebody recognize Hey Hey Zito I mean There's a good chance If you see the Zito in public The first thing you're gonna hear

From said specimen is Die Die I apologize to Justin For just yelling die on his face I was very confused Justin was a pretty vital character in our whole trip. Connor left the keys in the lobby of the hotel,

and this Justin guy picked it up and just so happened to know exactly who Zito was. Da. Like I said, I'm bad with lobbies. I'm bad with lobbies. I wasn't doing well on that one either. Checks out. Checks out.

Can we talk about how the RV might be halfway to China by now? Bro. What we have learned in this traveling, the nest isn't always welcome. No. Rarely is it welcome. But if you think about it, a bird's nest is not really a city thing anyways. Mostly because birds don't choose to flock here. You know what I mean?

There aren't birds that flockcking other than them street rats. Street rat pigeons. There's no real nest being built. I'm not sure pigeons live in nests, by the way. I think they're like the homeless of the birds. They kind of just live under bridges. They might come from sewers. I honestly believe. Pigeons, I mean, they're probably a very nice bird,

but they're the gritty bird. We all understand that. Absolutely. The nest that the road hawks bird but they're the gritty bird we all understand that the nest that the road hawks travel in is definitely a gritty nest but it takes up some space now we need some real estate and we've learned in Baltimore DC and now Brooklyn the nest is not always

welcome in a lot of places we got shooed out of a hotel what was that DC shooed out of a hotel barely could check in with the the rv in front of it basically told us that we couldn't even you could park it on the curb uh until 7 a.m that needs to leave maybe back up before i could even check into the hotel at like what 1 32 a.m so now we get to brooklyn and we knew it was going to be an issue because you know what we know the road codes oh yeah we

know the road hogs road hogs know the road codes and by the way road dog checked into the road hogs he did it was huge huge that's from the dog family of roads oh we're the hawk family the road hawks and the road dogs they very much get along which isn't always normal, but on the road, the road code says get along. It plays. Down the road. We got a long, long way to go. Scared to live, scared to die. We ain't perfect, but we try. Carry on.

We got a long, long way to go. We got a long, long way to go. Get along. Get along. Buy a boat. Drink a beer. Sing a song. Make a friend. Can we all get along? Yeah.

Kenny's the best. That's the road code. Oh, Kenny. Turns out those lyrics were probably written by somebody else, but Kenny sings them well. True. If Kenny would have wrote them, by the way, we probably would have wrote them by the way we probably remember them all but um when we got to new york we had a plan we planned ahead for this time yeah we did we planned ahead wwe people were like hey we'll

call around try to find a place for you guys to park it because we know it's been an issue we got accosted by police in baltimore no in dc we got accosted by police in dc No, in D.C. We got accosted by police in D.C. We got accosted by arena security in Baltimore. Some heavy names. Some big hitters over there. Some arena security was smoking their cigs outside, not happy with where the nest was parked. So in New York, we were playing to head. We even called and scheduled a space, right?

Yeah, we scheduled a space. Not even that. I called a half hour before we're supposed to be there and say hey we're gonna be a little late okay we're gonna show up a little late just so you know personal conversation with these people reservation made yeah a conversation was made you guys show up with the nest and what happens uh the guy looked as if he saw a ghost when we pulled the rv and no, not that thing. Yes.

He was like, no, let me get on the phone with some of my buddies, just start sending him around on a little witch hunt that me and Zeed had to do. So at like 1.32 a.m., you guys were just driving around New York City to different open plots of land, getting shooed away with an RV. Yes, yes, and they all are the same company, too. This isn't different parking lots. This is the same company. Oh, so they won't even say like,

you're probably not going to want it. They won't even say that. They're like, oh, I'll come check it out. Yeah, definitely don't want to. You can tell they hated the other people and they're like, just go over there. And we went over there and they'd be like. Oh, so this is like the Tuttle Senior,

Tuttle Junior thing. Oh, Orange County Choppers. The first guy's name was Malik. Of parking lots. Yes, God. Oh, Orange County Choppers. The first guy's name was Malik, right? Of parking lots. Yes, exactly. Oh, my. That's incredible. You had to find Mikey Lot.

Yeah. The Mikey Lot would have let you in, man. Fucking A. But you guys are now in New Jersey. Now the nest is parked in New Jersey. Yeah, so we did one last search. It was a truck stop, basically. He was a truck driver, and then he...

Yeah, it was a very nice Greek man from Greece. Not a Greek man. Yeah, big fan of Greeks now. We called him around, I don't know, 132. And for some reason, this champion of men was still working. So we drove her up there about a half hour away, 45 away. And yeah, we planted it in the middle of a warehouse, and it's for sure gone. It's next to water, and there were shipping containers.

And I was like, oh, they just threw that rv on a ship would we think that it being sent away would be a blessing or a curse um someone else's problem though that's what i'm thinking i think it would be that and a sign it'd be like hey you guys test this out now you know what it's like to have a lady hawk and you know what why don't you guys go out grab a champagne bottle get yourself your own you know yeah i think it is time i think i think if this is going to continue this type of thing we have to we have to get we have to get a nice one we have to find a home because because we have found the flaws we have found the flaws yep in the bad one very thankful for this particular oh yeah great yeah great but i mean we're gonna need something

that goes above 60 miles an hour without the engine almost exploding it's a juice we're gonna need something that has maybe a little bit more juice in that generator so we don't have to kind of guess if we're going to potentially not be able to make it yeah yeah almost couldn't leave because the extendos didn't have no power i almost couldn't leave a hotel it was a little bit of it probably our fault if we had a guest, but we would like something that is our fault proof, human error proof. Yes. And I think it's been a fun trip thus far.

Tomorrow night, NXT TakeOver, I'm on the pre-show. Let's go. Come on. It's indoor at the Barclays Center. Nice. That's good. Then I'm going to have a good time on that pre-show. I really enjoy those NXT TakeOver shows too.

The athleticism that is displayed is next level. It's a show. then I'm going to have a good time on that pre-show. I really enjoy the Zonix-D takeover shows too. The athleticism that is displayed is next level. It's a show. What you're watching is a show. There's insane shit happening all the time. I can't wait for it. And I've been writing some stuff. I've got some gems ready to come out.

I've been preparing a little bit. And that one's a little bit loose. Michael Cole literally tells me to do whatever the hell I want to do. So he did. He just kind of turned me loose. Here's something you have to talk about. We have to get through this stuff. We'll have the other hosts kind of drive us through stuff. You just do whatever the fuck I want to do. So he did. He's kind of turn me loose. Here's something you have to talk about. We have to get through this stuff. We'll have the other host kind of drive us through stuff. You just do whatever the fuck you want.

Thank you, Mr. Cole. That's a good time. Then we all know what's coming on Sunday. It's at MetLife Stadium, a place that I've played at. I've won there. I've had a good time there. A place that will be packed with sports entertainment fans

from all over the world to the tune of, I'm assuming north of 80,000 people. Oh, yes. That is absurd. From all over the world, chanting, screaming. And I will be wearing a tuxedo before the show begins to kick off the show a part of the kickoff show on the stage the entrance stage that everybody comes out of basically one of the first things that people

people are going to be taking pictures of that thing whenever they walk in you're like here's the um here's the entrance and for some reason i'm gonna be standing on it i think i don't know i'm gonna be talking though much at all but i know that's where I'm going to be parked at. And that's a wild scene. And I had to buy a tux for it. I had to buy a tux for it. We all know I went to Macy's, bought a tux for it. It's supposed to be cold.

Is the decision that I made going to be a regretful one with the tux? Possibly. I do run hot. And those lights, too. I mean, the lights will be on. Hey. I might be hotter than I thought I was going to be. You might want to take will be on. Hey, I might be hotter than I thought

it was going to be. You might want to take a layer off. It's all in the mind now. I think about it. And then the watch along happens.

We're doing a watch along during the entire show. Sponsored by Natural Light, by the way. Let's go. Hey, shout out

Natural Light getting in the game. Natterdays. Hey, hey, my college was a Natterday. Watch along is about to be a Natterday. Natter days. Hey, hey, my college was a natter day. A natter day. Watch Along is about to be a natter day.

A natter watch. It's going to be a natter watch. It's going to be a natter watch. Because it's going to be probably like maybe four or five hours long. It's going to be a good time, though. And you guys, I think, are going to be in the room this time. That would be awesome. Which is good.

Probably shoot into a corner as if it was the lobby of Gary Vee's. Hey, that's fine. Yeah, but we'll still be able to have a good time. That's fine. My lady Samantha's here. She's going to her first WrestleMania. She'll be in the crowd. She's real excited for that,

to go with one of her friends. Sam, you back there? Are you excited for WrestleMania? Yeah. I'm really enthusiastic. That hill zeke interviewing my fiance i didn't know uh yeah sam's i mean it's just an awesome this is going to be a good time it's a great week everything just seems to be humming in a positive direction and i'm thankful for everybody that listens to this show you guys are the best uh the only reason why we can do any of this is because you choose to listen to the show.

So I hope you know that. And I'm very thankful for it. At the end of this thing, we're going to have my conversation with Adam Lefkoe from Bleach Report. I think it was an enjoyable one. Oh, yeah. And aside from that, hashtag end gang,

hashtag end game. Go ahead and send us. Favorite screenshot from that WWE.we oh there it is screenshot from the road to wrestlemania with pat mcafee and friends uh it's on wwe's youtube it's on wwe's twitter uh i don't know where else it's's on their website. Nick? Can I offer an alternative? Sure. Pictures of what they think your hotel room looks like. You can add that one in there as well. Either one. If you would like. Either one.

We got a view. We are literally directly under a bridge that everybody and their mom has said is for sale. You know what I mean? Like, yo, I got a bridge in Brooklyn. I can sell you. That's what they always say. We are right underneath it, basically. Not this one.

Not the nice hotel room. The first hotel room. Oh, my hotel room. The one that Foxy stole from me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay.

I like that. Yeah. The dungeon. If you guys could send a picture of my hotel room that was potentially Foxy's. Yes. That he potentially hijacked from me because he used his incredible good looks on the front desk. She was. She was.

Yeah. She was. Which, hey, by the way, listen, you do whatever you need to do, Foxy, man. Hey, I shut the windows anyways, man. I didn't need the refuel. I didn't want to need. So if you guys could just – I just –

That's not a bad idea, too. Hashtag endgame, hashtag endgame. That, the photo. Good idea, Nick. Hashtag endgame, hashtag endgame. That, the photo. Good idea, Nick. Hey, Nick. Also, send us pictures of what you think Nick's hairline is going to look like before it disappears. Or the dent on his back of his head. The dent.

There it is. Maybe send us a reaction you thought Unique's reaction whenever he encountered that Unique was his barber. Send us what you thought Unique's reaction whenever he encountered that Unique was his barber. Send us what you thought. Unique's reaction was when he discovered that Nick had an actual dent on his head and didn't know what to do. That is good. And also your favorite screenshot from the Road to WrestleMania with Pat McAfee and friends on WZ.

You hit that trifecta, and it's a good one. We'll give away some really good stuff. Can't wait to gift the bracket winner something awesome, which is still happening. Michigan State, I think, is the team I'm pulling for. Me too, man. You know what I said with Dan Dockage? Big Ten hasn't won it since 2000.

Something's got to give him, all right? That team seems to be a humming. And no Zion Williams, and nobody's going to watch. Can I also send a gift to the last, last place? Like, completely last place? Yeah, absolutely. We can give a Zito prize for dead last. Can't wait. We'll call it

6,999th runner-up. Yes. Zito's 6999th runner-up award oh it's not me choosing them find out who it is yep yeah maybe it's in the bottom five and you pick your favorite of the bottom five with their name from the names i like there it is congratulations out of the worst five. With their names. From the names. I like that. There it is. Congratulations. Out of the worst five, you had the best name. From Zito. From judging Zito.

Judgment. Judge Z. Judge Z. Judge Z. With the white hat. The head. Yeah. Judge Z. There's another Twitter account.

Oh, I got to buy a gavel now. I'm sure you already have one. Check your suitcase. Your briefcase when you get back. Zito,. Check your suitcase when you're, your briefcase when you get back. You know, yeah, it probably isn't

his high school briefcase. He has, I got it for a fucking project. I was a, I was a, Thomas Jefferson. Dummies eat,

man. I will say, this trip has been very, very fun. It has been. It's been really, really fun.

Unbelievable. It's out of, I can't explain how fun it is. We've been, like, we've been getting a lot fun. It has been. It's been really, really fun. It's been unbelievable. I can't explain how fun it is. We've been getting a lot of shit done, too. That's been the interesting part of it. We've got five days left, too. Five days left. Not even halfway done. Don't want to be the realist in this situation, says Ty.

We've still got some time. I've got to get up this morning, by the way. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. If you're listening to this early in the situation, says Ty. We still got some time. I got to get up this morning, by the way. Here we go. If you're listening to this early in the morning, go ahead and turn on ESPN. I'll be on there with Greeny talking about football stuff. I'm excited for that. That'll be a good time.

Alright, other than that, this conversation with Lefkoe is also a blast. Send him a tweet, too, if you'd like. Oh, what do you have to say about Connor vandalizing? Yeah, Connor vandalized the studio Bleacher Report. Allegedly. No, he caught you. Did you see his?

He put an IG story up. Oh, did he? Oh, I didn't see it. Let me show it. Oh, I didn't see it. Oh, no, he caught you. That's so awesome The show with Pat McAfee Oh, the fro is nice

And I had the boys in the studio And look what they left me Clever I'm leaving it up I'm leaving it up Yes, he's leaving it up Let's go Let's go, great guy

Great guy Lefkoe was a good dude man connor's like banksy with these goddamn fucking uh stickers dude yeah i'm everywhere next level we we showed up at bleacher report and he just flashed out of his pocket the three stickers he had and i was like oh fucking banksy connor's here let's go's go. It's a hysterical thing. We got a sticker set by the way at store.pattmagafyshow.com Connor finds a lot of pride. It takes a lot of pride in putting things in there

and not getting caught. It's a beautiful thing. Shout out to Lefkoe. Here's my conversation with him. I think you're going to enjoy it. Aside from that, cheers man. Heartland Radio 2.0 is manana. You're going to enjoy it. NXT TakeOver, pre-show,

WrestleMania pre-show, then watch along. It's a lot of me on a microphone, but I promise I'm going to deliver. I think I will. And if not,

hey, a lot of options for other shit to watch. It's Adam Lefkoe. This conversation with Lefkoe is a Lef... No, can't put electric in there with Lefkoe. I was going to say electric and add the Lefkoe is a left... No, can't put electric in there with Lefkoe.

I was going to say electric and add the Lefkoe name in there, but you caught my brain catching myself slipping right there. Wow, don't catch me slipping up. This is America. This is America. And what's coming toica very soon is legalization of sports gambling everywhere sports gambling has been something that millions of people have been doing for a long long time and now there is more information that you can

access than ever in the history of sports gambling. Sports gambling is something that you do on the side that's fun, that can make you some extra cash. And the way you can win by doing this, instead of losing and being a dummy and feeling bad about yourself, the way you can win at gambling is by getting more information, more intel, feeling good about your bets, confident with your bets. And there's one place that accrues all the information you could possibly need to make a decision on who you're going to bet with. Are these points going to go over or are they going to go under?

Is this player going to get hot? Is this team potentially going to get cold? How about on the road in Canada? You want to know where all the big money's going? Hey, these people that have been gambling for years and years and years successfully, the sharp money, you want to know where that money's going? There's one place for it, and that's the Action Network. The Action Network tracks all the information you need to become a better investor in yourself in sports gambling.

Nick, you love reading about it over there with the hockey bets. Do it all the time. I need to know where that sharp money's going. How is the NHL? Is it doing good? The NHL is beautiful right now. Playoffs are about to start. We're about three, four days away.

Let's go, baby. Playoff's about to start. We're about three, four days away. Let's go, baby. And that's Hockey Talk. They got all the information for Hockey Talk. They get all the information for college basketball. Maybe how Tom Izzo is going to do. Maybe in these situations, how has his team responded. Action Network just has article after article with information after information with trends and trends so that whenever you're investing your hard-earned money in a team to perform, you know why you're doing so, and you win a little bit more.

Action Network is the greatest app for all sports gamblers and all degenerates. And I tell you what, guys in the office use it, I use it, and you can track our bets and see how we're doing. So you can maybe be like, hey, Nick, pretty good at them hockey bets. I didn't get a chance to listen to that Talkie Talk, a new podcast with Nick, AQ, Jeff Gorman, but I can go on the Action Network and just see how he did. I can just see what Nick bet on. Bang. You can match them, or you can mock them.

Say he does bad, you can mock them. The Action Network tracks everything, and it gives you all the great information right now if you download the get action app with forward slash pat you get all the information you could possibly need see our records for today last seven days 30 days all time and by any sport digs is on there fox is on there connor's on there nick's on there i'm on there track our bets and let's have a good time with it. Get information, have a blast and join our team. Getaction.app forward slash pat. And remember that the slash that is leaning forward, it looks like it's leaning forward, is the forward slash. And if the slash appears as if it's leaning back, like Fat Joe, that's a backslash. This is a forward slash. Get action.app forward slash pat all right so i have six things for you that i find fun i don't like to lead the show

when someone cools on i just want you to tell us where we're going so mr right go so i got one two three four five and six they're all different topics and different things don't try and look through just how many are we doing? There's literally six there. Oh, just we'll start with one then. Okay. Number one. I'll let you read it.

I don't remember what I put in there. Yes. Tom Dempsey's foot. Okay. I have been amazed about Tom Dempsey for my entire life. All right. For people that do not know, Tom Dempsey was a kicker that had, for a long time, the longest kick in the history of the NFL, 63 yards.

It was later passed by Matt Prater, tied a few times, David Akers, Jason Elam, I think, had it. He was born with no fingers on one hand and no toes on the other. And I have always been amazed at this swinging club and i just want to know from your perspective like why is this not talked about more like this thing is crazy well it's because he's a kicker a punter man that's just the way it goes i mean you big wigs at these big networks just quarterbacks only that's it i mean sims is just sims goes wherever he wants and he what, a fourth string quarterback for a while.

I mean, that's because he was a quarterback. I mean, it's... Tom Dempsey is an OG for the brand, you know? Super for the brand. It's one of those things where you see those videos on the internet where a kid's got one arm or something, but he's a pitcher in baseball because his entire life he was told that he can't do it. Yeah. I'm assuming Tom Dempsey was told, like, okay, here's the deal.

You can't do anything with your feet. Have you looked at pictures of it? Oh, yeah, with the boot. He had the boot, too. They made him a special boot that some people would argue that there was potentially a little home cooking in front of it. Tom Dempsey replied when people said it was unfair. Unfair, eh?

How about you try, and I guess he's Canadian, how about you try kicking a 63-yard field goal to win it with two seconds left and you're wearing a square shoe, oh yeah, and you don't have toes. That's what he responded to. Now, sports science looked into it and found that the shoe had no advantage, that it actually might be a disadvantage because it's just a flat surface. Oh, yeah, that sports science guy is always spot on. Jan Brinkus, sports science.

He compared Dwight Freeney's spin move to that of a figure skater, an Olympic figure skater. surface oh yeah that's sports science guys always spot on jen brink is sports science he's he compared dwight freeney spin move to that of a figure skater an olympic figure skater and dwight freeney's guy you don't like make fun of a lot you know but we're all looking forward to dwight freeney's sports science right yeah it was the night it came out on a saturday night so sunday morning was like breakfast before a game and every we were all like yo freeney's sports science coming out tonight coming out tonight it's gonna be a freaky spin move and then the next morning like the way that guy described the dominance of dwight fritty was just like some of the most ridiculous metaphors of all time and fritty the next morning gallivanting around the field

like a olympic figure skater or something like that ballerinas and figure skaters so the next morning like we all walked in. And I was a little bit too young, so I could have really just started talking. But all Frady was like, don't even want to talk about it. Don't even want to talk about it. Like, let's just, guys, let's just move on from the sports science thing. So I'm not the biggest fan of that guy. But, yeah, to kick a ball 63 yards, you have to have some real explosion.

Like, that's real work. Not everybody can do that. and i didn't know this in 77 they started the tom dempsey rule that if you have something wrong with your foot it still has to be shaped like a foot so you can't we can't even do the boot anymore what if they would have put a plow right like a plow right there on the front like it's in the front of a truck instead of vinitary picking up the snow he's just plowing out the fucking snow i'm a i'm a dempsey fan i was gonna i'm just curious from like the kicking you know the physics not having toes seems crazy to me i'm not sure how much the toes help i you they tell you to point your toe so i guess that is a massive part of it but the

the opposable thumb right is pretty massive for the human so i assume that the big toe also does some work in the kicking world. Shout out Tom Dempsey, though, overcoming some adversity to become a G. All the time. Which number are we going with next? Four. Vinatieri, all-time leading scorer. You love that man so much.

I mean, I held his balls a long time. He's a good dude. He's Italian, so that's kind of against him. Did you guys ever have a fight? We got into it one time. He compared me to Vanderjack, to a special teams coach and uh it was like in warm-ups he was like he's got a little vanderjack in him right in front of me i looked at him i was like don't you ever don't you a don't you ever do that again what is wrong with vanderjack he's the idiot kicker from peyton manning i don't know he

was at west virginia though oh i didn't know that he was at West Virginia, though, before me. I didn't know that. He was at West Virginia before me. He was at the Colts before me. And I know that it ended bad with the Colts, but even at West Virginia, I've never heard a positive story about it. I mean, for Peyton to go on national TV and go, he's an idiot kicker that got liquored up. Yeah. Like, Peyton never puts that shit out there like that.

No, and it was tough because I got a public intoxication. So obviously because I went to West Virginia and I was a person that kicked balls. Are you secretly Vanderjack? Are you the titty boy turned into two chags? Are you Vanderjack with a new name? Vanderjack did a lot of good things with footballs. But from what I've heard, his teammates never liked him. And that was a huge part for me.

It was a huge thing for me. I would imagine people like you. Teammates, coaches. Or pretend to. Well, yeah. I don't care how they like me. I don't know. I keep wanting to open this.

You open it. Okay. Plan Jim Irsay's 60th birthday party. Let's make it to there, Jim. June 13th is his 60th birthday. You know this man well. If he said, and you could do it in his voice, Pat, I want you to plan my birthday, what are we doing?

Brother, this is what we need. We need some good music. Maybe you call Mellencamp up from Bloomington, have him do a set. I'll bring my guitar. I'm like, all right, Jim, I like that. We'll get Mellencamp up there. He's just, you know, born and raised in a small town or whatever he was. I like Mellencamp.

What else would you like jim well we gotta do something big 60s a long time six decades bro that's great rock and roll bro maybe we get mccartney to play with guitar right-handed right who would have thought i'd made it to 60. who would have thought paul would play right here have you ever heard the conspiracy theory that paul mccartney isn't Paul McCartney? It's another guy because Paul McCartney died like 30 years ago. I haven't heard that, Jim. Well, you should think about it.

That would be a good party. Then let's bring the horseshoe out there and the little motorcycle trike thing that comes out before the game. I love that guy. You got it, Jim. Anything else? Maybe a couple golfers. I love golf. Let's golf, maybe. Let's do it, Jim. Let's have a happy birthday. You want us to sing happy birthday or blow your candles out for you? Blow the candles out. I don't want a fire. Maybe we

just jump in the cake or jump out of the cake. Maybe we have Peyton Manning jump out of the cake. That's what we'll do. Yeah, we'd build him a statue. That's the least he could fucking do, brother, is jump out of a cake. Anything else? No, that would be good. Just a run on. Oh.

That was good. You spent a lot of time with this man. Not really. Not really? Not really? I don't think a lot of people have spent a lot of time with Jim Irsay. Really? To be honest.

Did you party with Jim Irsay? No, I'm past Jim Irsay's party time. I time i wasn't sure though if he still parties but doesn't get down so he doesn't i know he he doesn't drink like a lot of people of course a lot of people anytime he does anything anything at all like the internet obviously is a woke society filled with savages so anytime jim ursing does anything i owe a lot to Jim Irsay. Everything almost. I actually do owe everything to Jim Irsay's bank. But he's got a heart of gold, man. But his brain, once it gets going, and he's about to have 60 years worth of incredible stories.

He needs a Jim Irsay podcast where it's one story every podcast. I do. He does those press things every once in a while. There'll be four media people come into his office. It's one question. He's like, Andrew Luck, man,

you went over to Europe, got that thing stretched out. When he called Quentin Nelson, he's like, hey, Quentin, what's up, man? And then the next three minutes are, Quentin, I saw Anthony Munoz, and I gotta tell you about Munoz. And I asked Quinton, what's up, man? And then the next three minutes are, Quinton, I saw Anthony Munoz, and I got to tell you about Munoz.

And I asked Quinton, he's like, I'm on the other phone, I'm just listening. Did Quinton talk to you? That's crazy. Yeah, Quinton's my guy. I think Quinton threatened to fight me, basically. Well, the thing you can't do with Quinton Nelson is give him all the credit.

He's a fucking offensive lineman. They do not want the credit. Because they don't want to walk in there and look at costanzo and go hey man yeah but costanzo i'm friends with costanzo well i guess we get along because he went to boston college yeah like a brainiac so as much as anthony costanzo and i can be friends i feel like we get along pretty well right quentin nelson has helped anthony costanzo out a lot too so i don't think there's any but i think quentin doesn't want anyone to go to him and go, you're the reason the offensive line's better.

Because he's an offensive lineman. He's like, we're a team. I respect that. That's why I love Quinton. I respect it a lot. Yeah, he's the ultimate wingman. He's an incredible football player too. Incredible football player.

Party with one kicker. Yes, and there's three names on there. Seabass, Matt Prater, Jeff Reed. Okay. Seabass, I feel like, is the mystery guy in all the NFL. I feel like everybody wants to know Seabass stories. Matt Prater, I've heard, gets lit. He does it.

Lit. I've heard the same stories, probably. Jeff Reed, I've only seen the pictures of him with Pittsburgh with just Google Jeffrey and his blonde-ass hair with no shirt on at a party. He had the Pauly D blowout way before Pauly D. Oh, you're right. Yeah, he did. Jim Tan Reed.

Yeah. Have you partied with any of those guys already? I've partied with Jeff Reed. I was in college. Was he in the same college as you? No, he was Pittsburgh Steel. I'm from Pittsburgh. Wow. He talked shit on me, actually. He didn't know i was in the group he talked shit on me like

one of my friends was like oh what do you think about mcafee this is wow we were like probably 10 beers deep at this point he's like oh he's he's too much of a wild card i don't think he'll make it i was like sitting right next to him so i was like chugging a beer with him like yeah you got it i mean we had become friends after that. Yeah. But my initial time partying with Jeffrey, he literally talked shit on me. Yeah. He also beat up a paper towel dispenser near my hometown whenever he was in the league. He got a public intoxication for beating up a towel dispenser at a gas station. I mean, he won hard.

Jeffrey won hard. He was hard. Always been nice to me, too, except for that first time. Except for that one time. When he didn't know I was there. So I don't have any qualms with him. It wouldn't be Jeff Reed. Matt Prater has some legendary stories,

and he gifted me with that moment on that Packers-Lions game where he threw a touchdown, which I absolutely love. And then you got to go on an epic rant where the brain was just spitting shit. The words were falling out. Fox executives are like, I've never cared about this before in my life. This is incredible. Foxy, you would think they would do that. I would have got a job opportunity maybe after that but i didn't the um yeah and then we went we trended number one on twitter for like three hours it was a big deal 32 just took over all the nfl action with a meaningless week 17 32 nothing game aaron rogers

was hurt on literally the second play where i had aarongers, by the way, I had Aaron Rodgers lines in commentary ready to roll. You were so ready to go. Oh, man. We were discount double checking all over that goddamn thing. And then second play of the game, he gets hurt. So I love Matt Prater. What are the best Matt Prater stories you've heard that are not going to get him in trouble? I mean, I think we just all know this story.

There's no reason for me to tell any of those. But I appreciate Matt Prater. I wouldn't want to ruin that moment we had by having a party moment. I'm going with Sebastian Janikowski. Strictly because the Polish canon, I've heard legendary tales. There's people out in Hollywood. I haven't heard any good ones. You go out to TMZ.

Like, TMZ, there's been numerous actresses and actors who've been asked, like, who's the person that's been most wild in your entire life? And they've partied with, like, Motley Crue crew and all these people and they're like sebastian janikowski is a lunatic of what yeah well i was back before uh twitter or anything so him and shane leckler were roommates your guy shane leckler congrats to the goat by the way he should go in the hall of fame if he doesn't the people that are voting for it don't understand football but he um i've heard legendary stories of them having parties and just having like it looking like the beaches of normandy like the day after where they have to

like get to practice where they're walking over humans they've never met before that's awesome just having a good time sleeping on their couch wearing like an outfit just like a flamingo in oakland too like just like insane he's really good so it's like anybody that can do that and do that i like my moment that i realized i was a genikowski fan was after i was arrested and i was in the substance of abuse policy uh program which means you get tested eight times a month and i got tested eight times a month for 27 months okay holy crap yeah the nfl substance of no daddy's program wow none i had to go completely clean if they saw a picture of me drinking it it was an automatic $15,000 fine.

I mean, they came down on me hard. Mostly because I called the head doctor of that. Like, I questioned his doctorship whenever he told me I had to do it for 24 months after a three-month trial. So it was 27 months altogether. Wow. He was like, we've decided to move you to phase two. I was like, I didn't do anything wrong in phase one, though. Why am I moving to phase two?

He was like, well, just reading your report, I believed 24 more months of this will be good. And I was like, what type of doctor are you anyways? And he was like, I'm a psychologist. I was like, is that even a real doctor? And then I got punished for 27 months or 24 months. It's like yelling back at a judge. Yeah, exactly. Two life sentences.

Oh, yeah. Great hammer. You get a week. Boom. Three life sentences. That's exactly what happened. That's unbelievable. NFL, I feel like they want you to get in the program.

Well, once you get in, they never want you to get get out they make it very difficult to get out i got out by the way i succeeded hey look at me man look at me graduate i'm a graduate of escape the rock i smoked some spice there for a couple months early and that was a bad time but i mean i got through it and you're yeah proud of you uh so we played the oakland raiders in oakland when janikowski was there and leckler was there in warm-ups and this was after i got in trouble so i was in the program you know so janikowski comes up and he goes what's good man you know because he's got like an accent I'm like hey man you're a legend he's like I love you you took heat off me you know everybody thinks I'm drunk kicker or whatever I'm like oh yeah I was

like this program is a nightmare dude I gotta every time I leave Indiana I gotta call give them an address I'm gonna be at two phone numbers to reach me. It was like you have a PO so that they could test me or whatever. He's like, oh, go on cruise. What they do, land on boat? I was like, oh, my God. He's like, yeah, I did it two years too. Go on cruise.

I see you there. I'm like, you are a hero here. He's like, I got you. Shakes my hand, walks away. And I'm like, Janikowski just got me out of the worst time of my life. Wow. Did you do a cruise? Yeah, a couple of them. I went over to Morocco. All of a sudden you loved cruising. Oh my God, I was cruising all over the place. I was in Morocco

at one point. That's the way to beat the system. Yeah, he's like, what are they going to do, land on a boat? You should do the Pat McAfee NFL booze cruise. Only applicable to guys that are on the program. There's a lot of guys in that program too. Is that why Gronk had a cruise? He only rented half the boat, too.

I think if we hindsight 50-50, like Cam Newton says, for that Gronk cruise, we'd probably get the entire boat, not just half the boat. I heard that was an electric time, though. I don't think Gronk's ever failed any tests. I only got in because I got arrested for a drug or alcohol-related charge. But Janikowski's definitely the guy. Legend, dude.

Go on cruise. What'd they do do land on boat to be as big as he was last year and to still be doing it like what is it like from someone that had to like you know dedicate to the craft and you see this guy no it's just natural my weight my weight fluctuation was pretty crazy too yeah but it wasn't to the point where like the entire internet was like take this picture and make jokes about it wasn't to the point where the entire internet was like, take this picture and make jokes about it. Well, I mean, it's not like 4K cameras have done anybody any favors.

You know what I mean? We used to wear all-white Spanx, basically, at the Colts. That was basically our... Oh, yeah. It was all-white. You didn't hide anything. No. So I used to just have to go on these ridiculous crash diets. Like, give me all of the meth or whatever you guys have that I can get this out of me.

It was... What was that stuff that was killing people it was a supplement that used um i forget the name of anthrax that definitely was killing people i don't think it was a supplement though workout supplement there was some supplement i would take oh like hydroxy there it was it was a hydroxy got the og and my hands started shaking yeah i was like and i gotta get off this the og hydroxyxy cut I used to go on a 14-day date with before every single training camp because I would have to lose 15, 20 pounds. God, you must have been insufferable.

I would go into my own little cave because I'm like, you guys know the deal. I got to lose 15, 20 pounds. I used to think that the more weight you had, the further the ball would go. You don't see any home run hitters that small. Eating that burp for me. Yeah, it was a hiccup situation I just had. I had a tee from downstairs. It was an interesting situation.

Howard Schultz put it together. Two or three. Which one are we going with? Let's go with three. Three. I think you literally saved my favorite one for last. Completely incidental. I knew it was coming.

So what's three? Welcome to Monday Night Football. Ooh, this was actually my favorite one. You just said two was the favorite one. Yeah, I didn't know which one. I just, I wrote numbers on them. I didn't look. Vitamins.

All right, so I believe that we have something special in this room right now. And what it is, so Nick, I'm going to need the music, is a possible Monday Night Football crew. You and I. Let's go. And I'm ready to go at any time. Me and I. Let's go. And I'm ready to go at any time. Me too. Here's the scene. Monday Night Football, we're going to be in Green Bay. It's going to be Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rogers, Kansas City, Green

Bay. Both are 15-0. Oh, let's go. Because if we're going to send our tape for Monday Night Football, let's show them that we can handle the big moment. Yeah, it's all go for the perfect record. Big moments is all we handle. You let me bring us in, and then I'll toss it to you, and let's just do the fucking show.

You got it. Hey. Okay. Hey, welcome to the big time, bub. Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, the snow won't stop falling at Lambeau. Two MVPs, two undefeated teams, one perfect record on the line. All tonight, game of the year, only on Monday Night Football. Welcome inside.

As always, I'm Adam Lefkoe, joined by my perfect partner, Pat McAfee. Pat, it's a special, special night at hand. What do we have to look forward to? Well, Patty Mahomes got a huge arm and an explosive offense. Andy Reid's looking to blast through the wall like the Kool-Aid man here at Green Bay. Lambeau is a place with legendary moments. You think back to Steve Sable

and NFL films and the Frozen Tundra and nothing could be as exclusive and as elite as Monday Night Football has tonight. Aaron Rodgers looks to put a cap on his legacy and take down the young gun Patrick Mahomes and have an undefeated season. Nothing since the 72

Dolphins. Are the Packers going to make a run? We'll find out right here in Lambeau, Green Bay, Wisconsin. It's going to be an amazing game tonight, Chiefs. Packers, let's go down to our sideline reporter Ed Helms, who's going to check in with the coaching staff.

That a boy, Ed. Perfect. How'd it feel? It felt good, man. It felt good. Isn't this job fucking nuts? The internet or commentating on football? All of it.

All of it. Everything's stupid. I like that you turn into like a 1940s reporter when you do your TV voice. Yeah, man. It's a little bit Howard Cosell, but it's also like, man, see, the reporters are out for the dog, bet the man. I love it. And I just got to bring some juice.

Now, obviously, the people making those- I don't know why Ed Helms was our sideline reporter. I couldn't think of an actual sideline reporter. I don't know who Ed is, but I know he's going to crush it. He's the guy from The Office. Oh. What do tigers dream of- Exactly.

When they take a little tiger. That's our sideline reporter. That would crush. So we'll pitch this to Monday Night Football. You, me, Ed Helms on sideline. I mean, it'll be a little juice. The dummy's making a decision. I haven't pulled the trigger.

I mean, I sent out two tweets to my people. We trended for 10 hours about it. Haven't gotten a call. I know. I tried to get Nate Burleson on there. He said he'd be down. So if it was you, me, and Nate, I think that would be a pretty fucking tight group. I'm a big fan of toe-drag swag, Nate Burleson on there. He said he'd be down. So if it was you, me, and Nate, I think that'd be a pretty fucking tight group. I'm a big fan

of toe-drag swag, Nate Burleson. I think he's... He brings the heat, man. He busts his ass. I respect anybody that I go, oh, he's working, working. Yeah.

You know what I mean? A lot of people just get handed stuff. A lot of people just get handed stuff. But... That ain't us. No, not us, dude.

That ain't us? Nope. Hey, we're ready to get our ass out there and find that fucking dog. I think what we should do is just set up booths outside of where the Monday Night Football game is. And if you want to watch a live game with us, we'll just mute it. We'll do the ceremonial muting of the game. And we'll just do a live event of us calling the game.

But I would like the ability to get the day before interviews. Because a lot of my stuff came from the day what was that experience like for you i because to be in there and it's usually like this stuffy room with producers and you sit there and they go what's been the issue on third down chuck so as soon as soon as we went to we did green bay first and as soon as aaron rogers opened the door and saw me sitting in there, he looked at me and just started laughing. Stop. That's fucking great.

Joe Philbin and I got a massage in the same room together in London whenever he was coaching for the Colts, and he's a big fan. So he was interim head coach. So when he came in, he just saw me and started laughing, you know, and he sat down. That's amazing that people have that reaction. Well, Matt Patricia, same thing. So Matt Patricia, Matthew Stafford.

By the way, T's and P's up for Kelly kelly stafford matt stafford yes wife uh she's about to go through some stuff stafford was very nice to me everybody just started laughing as soon as i walked in there i've as soon as they walked in there i feel like the mood was heightened because i was in there i feel like it was i don't want to say your questions i just wanted to were they real or like oh when i interview i go i want to learn some stuff i'm pretty intrigued by people I just wanted to... Were they real? When I interview, I go. I want to learn some stuff. I'm pretty intrigued by people. Let's go back.

This goes back to the daddy cigars. I like to know why the greats are great. So that's something I very much enjoy. I like documentaries. So I ask some real questions. I got some real intel out of it. But also some other stuff. Is it hard not saying all of the intel?

Because you're supposed to keep it private. And I talk too much shit. Well, we went from green bay over to detroit and then i got a bunch of stuff here right and like in my head yeah green bay is like we really want to attack we think they're really weak in the middle of their d-line and then the detroit's like we think they're going to attack the edge and you're like oh my god. Hey, Aaron, just a heads up. A little bit different scheme coming at you than you thought. No, it was, I tried to, for me, it was so cool because I was back in an NFL building, you know. Like, we went to the walkthrough, which Green Bay runs an entire practice the day before a game, which I've never seen before.

It was kind of interesting. Get to see the field again. And I had a lot of friends that were on the Packers, so was nice to be back in there but i respected the profession i had no idea though that those meetings really happened to the extent that they happened because i was never interviewed so it wasn't like i didn't know how those were they didn't need punter intel yeah well they should have maybe they learned a little bit more about the game but like the um i didn't know how those meetings were supposed to go so it was just like all right i'm gonna run with this here let's see could you tell it was weird between Aaron and McCarthy?

Did that come up? McCarthy wasn't there. Remember Phil? Yeah, but I just wasn't sure if there was a residue. It did come up. Oh, it did come up. Because I know Ty Dunn has an article that's coming out today that really dives into, and so check it out on Bleacher Report, how bad it got.

And I don't think either party's clean. Well, McCarthy is on a pr run right now right he was doing interviews this morning he was saying a lot of things but i think anytime you got two people together for 10 years i mean that's a relationship that's still a human relationship oh yeah and you're talking about egos and a lot of success and a lot of money and a lot of attention there's obviously a chance it's going to go bad but just like belichick and Brady, you just have to be in bewilderment of how much success they were able to bring to Green Bay.

I think that's what I would like to remember. Why the fuck did you say bewilderment like that? Because it's an SAT word, bro. Oh, gosh. It's an Andrew Luck word. Hey, man. That was an Andrew Luck word, wasn't it? It was.

Maybe I should go to Stanford. Hey, maybe I'm a cardinal, a tree. But I think it's actually very ignorant of people where wasn't it it was i mean maybe i should go to stanford hey maybe i'm a cardinal a tree but i i think it's i think it's actually very ignorant of people to see that situation go they're together for 10 years why would they start fighting no have you ever like if you're with someone for 10 years man that's a long hey forever's a long time bro both of our brains like call back let's do it all right last one number two he still doesn't have aim. Missed the trash game. I'll tell you what. That's why you're a punter, not a kicker.

Hey, I've been kicking footballs again, by the way. I saw. Feel good? I do. Good to get the pistons firing again? I feel really good. Before you open that, do you believe that if you kicked a man square in the junk that you could kill him? I don't know. I don't know

the physics or the science behind i just feel like you running up full speed locked and loaded might kill him i'm very confident that at one point i had the strongest leg in the world oh that what year was that what fine line 2000 it's probably like my third or fourth maybe fifth year in the league third through fifth i had the strongest leg in the world i think now. Now, I've always seen that, like, really, Jack guys, they walk into any room and they size people up. Were you just, like, walking in looking at hamstrings, quads? No, they knew.

Those people knew. They knew. I mean, I kicked the soccer ball 124 miles an hour at one point, just sitting still, like, from a standstill. I felt very good. Yeah, it's on the internet. What do you think about Saquon's legs? I think Saquon's legs are next level.

Next level. If he really tried to be a kicker, are those legs that could be super powerful? Is that an 80-yard field goal? I don't know how his leg speed is. I mean, obviously with those quads it would be good, but leg speed is a big deal. Ah, fluid hips. Knees. Knees?

Hips, the whole thing, yeah. You've got to really be able to move, man. It's an explosive exercise. When I try and kick a field goal, I toe the fuck out of it. Yeah. By the way, you should. Thank you. If you don't know how to kick soccer, don't even fuck around because you're going to miss.

The toe thing is a high- Yes, and just pray that it goes straight. Well, it's a higher consistency for sure for people, laymans that don't know how to kick in a soccer style. Yeah. Yeah. That's smart. Somebody came- I always, I used to try and come up and put my foot down. But you're probably pulling it. Yeah, who the fuck knows? Yeah, because you don't know how to do in a soccer style yeah yeah that's smart like somebody came i always like i used to try and like come up and like put my foot down i was like pulling who the fuck knows yeah

because you don't know how to do it no you should go toe the people that don't know how to kick in a soccer ball or a soccer style like never done it before if they're in for like a ten thousand dollar field goal kick or something like that toe it toe that thing yeah and just try to go straight up through it just go straight up through it smart. Like half an inch below halfway through the ball. Right? Like a half inch below. Yeah. And just follow straight through

to the center of the upright and it should go. And there's $10,000 from Dr. Pepper coming your way. Or you can just chest pass that thing into a hole in a football game.

Ugh, the worst. Alright, last one. It's a bad game. Move it back. Have them throw it. Make them do something. Like they should also be like under a pass rush.

And what do they got the dumb ref there for? Why are you standing there, ref? I don't know. I don't know why I like watching people do the, what's it called? The basket pop a shot. I like watching people being really good at that. Hey, that, um. That dude that got, like, 60 in a minute.

That Asian fella? Yo, the one with the double hands? Carson Edwards from Purdue. Oh, yeah. I love that guy. Unbelievable. Number two, final one. Yeah.

Who wins an NFL Royal Rumble? Over the top rope are the rules of NFL Royal Rumble. Obviously, everybody knows that. WrestleMania's this weekend. Check it out. Yeah, and how can we watch you during WrestleMania? This worked out that the plug, it was nice. It's almost like I saw through your piece of paper and knew what was coming.

Fuck you. Okay, so what are you doing? How can we watch you? Are you going to be doing live? I'm on a pre-show. I'm on a pre-show. So if I pay for the pay-per-view, I get to see you. Yeah, but you just get the network for free for new subscribers.

So it's free for new subscribers. I'll be on there. You get it for 30 days. So you get WrestleMania for free, which is normally like 70 for people before we get into this nfl royal rumble yeah um how crazy is it to be a part of the wwe it's absolutely insane they're the only people that have really shown any type of hope in me you know what i mean michael cole has called me and been like yeah i'm big fan of yours dude i like what you do we yeah we'd like you to start doing and then the relationship started from just a pre-show to now i make

internet content was there a meeting ever where you're sitting across from vince mcmahon no vince mcmahon and i shook hands one time it was a hello and then he walked away so were you ever across from like triple h yeah triple h and i text what not on a regular basis like once every other week there'll be like a text message i gave my little brother so many pedigrees back in the day. Absolutely. Suck it. Let's not even talk about suck it. I got so many in-school suspensions because of fucking DX.

Hey, and those teachers, whenever they suspend you, what do you do? No, I would go, I've got enough. And then I'd, if you smell. So it's got to be cool to work with them. Yeah, Triple H is that guy. And Michael Cole is awesome, too. Was that your era of wrestling too?

yeah yeah baditude era absolutely I kinda drifted away from it for a while of course but to get back into it and they let me do

whatever I want really it's really nice of them Michael Cole's just like just don't swear we just want you to do whatever you need to do how good are the athletes? incredible

it's like Cirque du Soleil but they're on they're on the road 270 to 300 days a year so they're putting on these Cirque du Soleil, but they're on the road 270 to 300 days a year. So they're putting on these Cirque du Soleil shows while driving for three hours in the middle of the night with no sleep. It's just once you see behind the curtain and you watch what these athletes are doing, the women are incredible. It's next level, and I just get to talk shit the entire time. I went to an NXT event.

This is like a year or two ago. Let's go. And it was in Madison Square Garden, like the theater. And I walk in and I was like, I don't know who any of these motherfuckers are. I'm with Matt Camp, who's like really big into wrestling. And I was like, I'm going to figure out my favorite up and coming NXT wrestler tonight. And I'm going to be all about him. Can I guess?

Yeah. Ricochet. No. This is like two years ago so we're watching and like rude comes out and like everyone's singing the song and everyone's getting excited and i was like hey he's okay my number one guy was the fucking drifter and this is this is before i'm telling you this before because i'm watching from an nfl perspective yeah and he's standing there and just hopped up on the top turnbuckle

and I go he's more explosive than all these motherfuckers you just hate him because he's fucking corny and he's singing these songs so I'm in the bathroom and I'm waiting in line at Madison Square Garden and I'm sitting there and I go I don't know man I think the Drifter is my favorite fucking wrestler in NXT and then as that's

happening a producer at Bleach Report sees me goes Adam and comes up and for some reason hugs me in the bathroom. Why, you're peeing? Not peeing. I'm like in the line of pee. Hey, road code. Road code. No hugs in the bathroom. Yeah, no physical contact in the urinals. Come on. Come on. And this guy turns around and goes, the fucking drifter guy's giving hugs in the bathroom.

What the fuck are you doing here? And I was like, alright, I'm gonna go. Yeah, because at that time, saying Elijah was good. Elias. My bad. Saying Elias was good. People were like, he's corny as fuck.

I was like, I don't know. I see something, man. You want to hear something crazy that's really going to blow your mind? Elias went to my high school. Stop. Yeah, like best friends with one of the guys that's in that green room right now. Really? All through high school, yeah. Yeah, Elias and I have known each other a long time.

And now it's like it's hitting. Yeah, he's the guy. Corey Graves, who's the commentator for both shows, went to the school right next to mine. What the hell is going on in your neighborhood? Hey, man, we got good water over there. Bad teachers, bad teachers, but we got good water over there. But yeah, Elias literally graduated high school. I've known him since.

He's an athlete. Was he balling in high school too? He was a tiny little stick wow he was a tiny little stick and he made this decision i go back to i was at west virginia and i would go back to pittsburgh where my family's from to party sometimes you know and i walked into this house party and i had i had a good time in college and i was in the kitchen as soon as I walked in and it was exactly like you would think like as soon as I walk in somebody has a beer bong ready for me they're like hey you ready to go I'm like absolutely so I welcome home well yeah it's great to be here you

know like hey great to see everybody I bonged this beer I put it down I hand it back I'm like all right let's get to and I turn to my right and Elias who wasn't named Elias at the time was holding like a gallon of water like like a jug of water, right? And he had like these little pre-made meals that he had to eat like every two hours through the night. Before meal prepping was a thing. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? What are we doing here?

And he's like, oh, man, I'm trying to become a professional wrestler. I've got to build my body up or whatever. I'm like, okay, let's go. And we got into like a good probably 40 remember this is i just did a beer bong right in front of his face he probably hasn't seen me in like a year since i went to west virginia and we had a 45 minute conversation he was like yeah i'm gonna give it a go i'm really focused and doubted i'm like it pairs if you're doing that i'm gonna try to get to the nfl but with that being said i'm gonna go grab that beer bong again see if we can really

do some stuff but he uh elias unbelievable unbelievable. Elias went to my high school. That was completely random. I did not research that. Alright, I have names of people in the NFL that I find to be the biggest, strongest, so I feel like I'm going to say a name and in Royal Rumble fashion the next one that comes in, you just

tell me who gets thrown out and who's still alive. First guy's going to be Aaron Donald. Let's go! He's the first dude that runs into the ring, yeah, yeah. First guy's going to be Aaron Donald. Let's go. He's the first dude that runs into the ring. I don't know what his entrance song is. Aaron Donald is in the ring. He trains with knives. Fake knives.

It's bullshit. Is it really? Yeah, it was fake. You didn't know that? He went to the school right next to mine as well. Dude, Pittsburgh. Dan Marino, Terry Bradshaw. My dad graduated high school with Dan Marino. Darrell Rivas.

They weren't friends, but graduated high school together. Next comes in is Fletcher Cox. Who's still in the ring? Aaron Donald's still in the ring. He got a 10-pack. He posted that photo the other day. It's outrageous. He's a little bit tired.

Defensive tackle from the Ravens, Brandon Williams comes in. You're not going to know all these guys. It's okay. He's a nose tackle? Yeah. He's going to be tough to get out there, but I think Aaron Donald trained so hard with real knives, he kicks him out almost as soon as he gets in there.

San Francisco 49er defensive lineman DeForest Buckner at 6'8". Never heard of him. Like his name, he's tall, which means leverage of Aaron Donald, which is what Aaron Donald's good at, gets him out. Number one seed is still in. So Aaron Donald has now gone through Fletcher Cox, Brandon Williams, DeForest Buckner. His abs are pulsating. His pecs are bouncing.

Boom, boom, boom. He's going, who's next? He's doing the Goldberg. Yeah. Greatest Jewish athlete of all time. Khalil Mack runs into the ring. Khalil Mack is now facing off with a tired Aaron Donald. Yeah.

That's why I put Aaron Donald at one. Where's John Gruden at? John Gruden is sitting in the booth with Mark Davis getting a fresh bowl cut. Okay. So they're both getting haircuts. 90 million guaranteed is a lot of money, man. That's what John Gruden said shortly after signing a $100 million guarantee. I think this is where Khalil Mack could potentially...

It's a great battle. Does someone else enter the ring while they're fighting? I think it lasts long enough that another person comes in. Washington defensive lineman, great wrestling name, Deron Payne. Love that name. Deron Payne. Deron. He's a 6'5", 300, 320 guy.

Khalil Mack, Aaron Donald. They're battling, battling, battling. They hear old Payne because he come in. They stop. Bring in the Payne. That's what they say before he runs in. Yeah. Anything else?

No, that's it. It's kind of a dead moment. They need a little cheap pop. Fireworks. Oh, hey. Yeah. Anything else? No, that's it. It's kind of a dead moment. They need a little cheat pop. Fireworks. Oh, hey. Yeah. Burns myself. Khalil Mack and Aaron Donald, though, realize what they're doing.

They stop. They turn to the pain. Alliance. And they toss pain out. Flipped him over. He's gone. You're going to snark at this, but I'm going to give you the next one. Next one is Bengals defensive lineman Andrew Billings,

known because he broke Mark Henry's lifting record, that Mark Henry, when he was in high school. So this is a short, stocky, 5'11", 6'3", 300-pound power lifter that beat the strongest man in the world, Mark Henry. He runs it. He beat him when he was in high school. That was world's strongest boy, Mark Henry, at that point. Yeah, not world's strongest man. Let world, Mark Henry. He runs it. He beat him when he was in high school. That was world's strongest boy, Mark Henry, at that point. Oh, gotcha.

Yeah, not world's strongest man. Let's take it easy. As you can tell, I like Andrew Billings. So he runs it. He's got good leverage, though. He's a tiny little guy. He's under six foot. Tiny little fire plug.

He's like Kyler Murray size. Are Mack and Donald now teammates? No, I think Aaron Donald and Billings, because they got the low leverage thing, they turn on Khalil Mack, tired Khalil Mack. Tired Khalil Mack. Yes. Aaron Donald decides he's won enough in life. Eliminates himself.

Old Cousy Billings is now hanging out by himself. The little spark plug of a man who beat world's strongest boy, Mark Henry. In runs Miles Garrett from the Cleveland Browns. Oh, let's go dog pound.

Miles Garrett tosses that little spark plug out of the ring. Yeah, one hand. Like a hip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then comes Quentin Nelson. Just like an 80s rock

song, wearing a bandana. Walking like the Bushwhackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holding like a two by four. Yeah. Yeah. Quentin Nelson wins that thing. He picks that guy up probably. Ooh. Isn't happy about anything that guy said or looked at him. Just from personal experience, that's what I would say.

And he tossed his old 300-pound spark plug kuzzy over the top rope. Ladies and gentlemen. It's not over. There's four more people. Margus Hunt of the Indianapolis Colts, who you know is fucking enormous. He's a massive man. He's like 6'9", 340, and it's Quentin Nelson's teammate. Yeah, he sees Quentin Nelson.

He gets in. He jumps out. He also eliminates himself. Wow. There's two competitors who have eliminated themselves, but still got the paycheck, which you have to respect the business sense. Calais Campbell of the Jacksonville Jaguars and Chris Jones, defensive lineman of the Chiefs, running at the same time.

Well, that's cheating, so we're going to have to question their moral code. I've partied with Calais a couple times. Good guy. Hey, Pat. How are couple times good guy got a very interesting voice he may have been the prototype for an avatar that guy's a freak athlete very tall I think Quentin Nelson handles that situation double chokes because he's pissed off about them attempting to cheat ah so he takes on the double team like a real gentleman Quentin Nelson ends up your winner, Mr. Earl Grey himself. But then, dung. Oh, The Undertaker.

Dung. Taylor LeJuan comes in. Oh, my. With Undertaker's music. Top hat, dressed like Boss Hogg. Dun, dun. Steam's coming up. Yeah.

Stings in the rafters, not going to come down, just going to watch. Thinking about it. He just wants to see the show. Thinking about it. Taylor LeJuan comes in. Taylor LeJuan and Quentin Nelson just had a viral video where they were imitating. Yeah, the party being offset. Thank you.

Yeah, I got you. Almost a takeoff. But so they're friends. Yeah. But they have to fight each other for the Royal Rumble. And I would say that Taylor's already rich. Like he's much more wealthy than Quentin. Right.

Although Quentin's going to be much more wealthy than him in a couple years. I think so. In my mind, I would be like, well, Rich Taylor is just going to be like, yo, I don't want to go against a friend here. I'll also eliminate myself. But he's an offensive lineman, so that would be quite a question to his. Right, these other guys that have self-eliminated are D linemen. Yeah, and they've already done enough.

All the guys that eliminate themselves, they've already done enough. Margus Hunt did it strictly because he doesn't want to face off against Quentin Nelson again because he's a good teammate, good locker room guy. Taylor LeJuan, though, I don't know because he's fresh.

Taylor LeJuan's fresh. He's got an attitude. But Quentin Nelson doesn't seem to have many feelings. You know, he doesn't have much feelings. He doesn't even realize that he and Taylor are friends when he gets in there.

I think Taylor has a personality. He's like, hey, man, we just did the Mexico thing and the pool thing. Come on, take it easy. And then I think before he even gets his hat off, that incredibly nice hat that he wears, before that thing even gets off, I think Quentin Nelson's already ended it. And Taylor LeJuan walks out of there with bags of cash in a situation where a friend of his that he thought turned his back on him. And that friend is now the NFL Royal Rumble champble champ so you got to respect it a little bit he probably claps goes off back to mike frable's town and has a good time congratulations to quentin nelson for

winning the nfl royal rumble hey good for quentin nelson super happy for friend of your show i can't believe that you didn't have a good time with him. Next time you want to interview him, I'll call in and I'll be like, Quinton, it's okay. It was bad. He had no idea who I was, I don't think. Who would win a Royal Rumble of only quarterbacks? Cam Newton. The names that I came up with that were in the final four were Cam,

Josh Allen, Mahomes, and I feel like Big Ben would be like. Scrappy. Like all of a sudden like a chair flies in yeah yeah he's grabbing it by the way yes big ben roethlisberger is grabbing that chair hitting somebody with it yeah and then he's throwing the person who threw the chair in under the bus 100 but he's going to put up elite numbers so who wins of those four josh allen cam newton mahomes and big ben let's let's remember. This is like still Royal Rumble rules, but they're all four in the ring. It's a four-man Royal Rumble.

Let's go with, let's remember the grit factor here. Cam has not climaxed this month. Cam is doing the no sex, no personal, yeah, that whole thing. A lot of pent-up frustration, so we've got to think about that. He also crashed his truck pretty nasty and survived. And survived. And played. Yeah, and got out of it.

Ben Roethlisberger, though, crashed a Hayabusa in the middle of downtown Pittsburgh. What? Yeah. I don't remember this. God is like, they thought it was big deal. Like, this was before, I think this was before Twitter, like in his first couple years.

Wow. Ben Roethlisberger also has a lot of history with WWE. He's been in a ring before, so that might help him out. So the gritty old Big Ben might help him out here because he is, I mean, we've all seen him try to avoid pass rushers. It's nonexistent. He just takes that thing and throws a rock. Josh Allen, he's a little bit too young and happy.

I think he's just excited to be there in the moment. You've got to get the old grizzled bits. Well, Holmes is like a Bret the Hitman heart. He's like an athlete. You know? I don't know if those guys were. I didn't have anything else. I really thought you were going somewhere there. I was excited to hear it. I think Mahomes gets eliminated.

Mahomes is like the rock. He's going to try to do something fancy. He's going to try to go up to the top rope because he is an athlete. And Roethlisberger is probably just going to stumble and just knock him off. He's eliminated. Josh Allen is going to be so bright on the bushy team. I love the idea that Big Ben accidentally knocks everybody else out. Yeah, I think that's what's going to happen, though.

If we really start looking at the film here in our brains, watch the video, I think Roethlisberger probably wins it just by stumbling, fumbling, bumbling his way into the championship. Cam Newton's tough to bet against. I feel like if it was all quarterbacks, Eli would be the first one to eliminate it. I feel like Baker would actually be the more Shawn Michaels.

Andrew Luck would hop over the rope as soon as it started. I don't like conflict. Hey, guys. Good luck out there. Nick Foles would be coming to Val Venus' music. Hello, ladies. Why is that?

Because of the old BDN? Yeah. And I feel like Kurt Cousins is Kurt Angle, but like with muscles. I don't think Kurt Angle deserved that. Oh, feel like Kurt Cousins is Kurt Angle, but with muscles. I don't think Kurt Angle deserved that. Oh, you thought it was an insult to Kurt Angle. I think so, man. Kurt Angle rises up in the biggest moments.

He won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck, bro. Remember that. I like Kurt Cousins' business sense. He's more like a business man. I think he's a business man. And then who would win a kicker punter Royal Rumble? I'd feel very good if I was in there. I'm not, though.

I'm retired. Yep. You're going to kick for the XFL? No. If the XFL called, Pat, and said, we need big name pop. Hold on. You're a WWE employee. Yeah, potential microphone usage there.

Potential. I don't know. I haven't been told anything. But you would think. The AAFL offered me a job to commentate. The day after I signed with the WWE. Big paycheck, too. Wow.

They offered me a big paycheck to do it. Turns out, would have never got paid. No, no, no. Would have never got paid. Oh, so you'll be doing XFL stuff. Maybe. Let's not rule out Monday Night Football. That's the show.

Okay, well, just, you know, we have a tape. We can repurpose this. Yeah, we can. For XFL. Welcome to XFL. well just you know we have a tape we can we can repurpose this yeah we can for xfl welcome to xfl sonny jurgensen's grandson taking on jack nicholas's nephew next on xfl i think the xfl will succeed because they got good business sense in there oliver luck running the show the afl is going to be a wild story that's going to unfold i've heard i've got some dms from a lot of old teammates that were in there they said it was a complete shit show.

Everything was a shit show, like a joke, like fire festival type stuff. They didn't get a payroll for the first couple weeks. The meal is like Kraft cheese and ham and the cheese is still in the wrapper. I think this documentary that's going to come out about it, obviously, at some point.

Someone's going to make something. Did they not have any money for the first week? Like, what happened? How do you not make payroll first week? Like, what is that even? Oh, Billy McFarlane's in there, bro. Damn. Fucking stirring the pot.

I met somebody that went to Fyre Festival. I was very jealous, actually. I wanted the experience. A guy that's part of my crew, his name's Diggs. Yeah. He's an Italian, Anthony DiGiglio. He was all about that type of thing,

like being influenced by influencers. I love that shit. And he heard about it, saw the orange galeo he was all about that type of thing like being influenced by influencers i love that and he heard about it saw the orange picture and he was like i want to go we almost expensed it like almost sent him in hindsight i wish we would have done it amazing incredible i appreciate you coming in can i read one thing that i got from a fan that i didn't expect to get uh so i got this package uh from stew resnick out in Phoenix, Arizona. All right, Stu. Appreciate you, Stu. And he ends up that he's a grandpa that listens to the show a lot. Let's go.

And he wrote me this awesome message where he talked about that when he heard me at the end of the podcast where I was talking about I'm an Eagles fan, they won the Super Bowl, and I started getting emotional thinking about my family. He's like, it fucking hit me. And he wrote me this awesome letter and i'm not going to read the whole thing but him and his 11 year old grandson playing catch and he listened to the show and he said that we rekindled a long lost appreciation of football for him and that he thanks us for that uh this and he had a license plate it was a personalized license plate he traveled with him for the last year he doubted that anyone took notice of the numbers that's exactly exactly how he wanted it, but I know for sure that I knew what it means, and I opened it

up, and I knew within 20 seconds. This is an Eagles thing. I'm just going to show it, and it made me realize, one, how football fans can all be connected to each other over some craziness. all be connected to each other over some craziness. The numbers are 6-2-3-0-8-8-9. I was just trying to do the T9 text there. Oh, and I turned it upside down? I was like, is that a T9 text? Yeah, it's not.

Jason Kelsey snapped the ball to Corey Clement, who tossed the ball to Trey Burton, who threw it to Nick Foles for Philly Philly. So to you, Stu, I'm going to put this in the studio. If you're still listening, it's officially in there from here on out. I appreciate you sending that to me. And the awesome note, mention all the great old Eagles like Tommy McDonald. Thank you, dude.

You're the fucking man. I don't know if you curse in your household, but now we do. Shout out Vince Papali too. Oh. Honestly. Awesome. Bartender. I went on quite a Mark Wahlberg run the other day.

Just watching shit? Yeah. Just like Invincible, and then there was another one he did where he shot some people. It was great. There's another one where he did some people. I appreciate you coming on. Thanks for having me. Did you have fun? I did.

I had a great time. You have really cool fans, though. Dude, they're the shit. They're the homies. Hey, you deserve it, man. Thank you, man. I'm happy for you, dude. So the homies, as I like to call them, the 33%.

Pat gave his 33%. Check out everything. Twitter is at Pat McAfee. Doesn't matter. You know his shit's everywhere. No, no. Too much of me is too much of me. My mom's already given up.

She unfollowed me a week ago. Appreciate you, dude. Thank you. You're the man. WrestleMania Sunday. Check it out. Will do.