The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 065 - "Deflategate Was The Worst, D'Qwell Jackson, Live From A Batcave"
Episode Date: April 18, 2019On today's show, Pat and the guys record the show live from his backyard in what feels like an Indiana summer night. They discuss the NFL schedule release and highlight a couple of different games tha...t they are looking forward to, including Packers vs. Bears to open the season on Thursday night, Steelers vs. Patriots on the first Sunday night, and a couple of the Thursday night and Monday night games that look to be good matchups. They squeeze in a little hockey talk as Pat has to respond to the city of Pittsburgh after the Pens got swept by the Islanders. They also discuss Russell Wilson's new contract, and whether or not any of his teammates in the locker room actually like him. They also discuss movie biopics, and how Pat see's the movie about his life unfolding. Also joining the show is 11 year NFL veteran, Pro Bowler, and the man who started the entire Deflategate situation by intercepting a Tom Brady pass, D'Qwell Jackson. He and Pat talk about their relationship as teammates, his video for The Uninterrupted about how all he wants is his playoff interception from the Deflategate game to be returned to him, and what he's been doing to enjoy his retirement thus far. (4:15-18:44) To close out the show, Zito makes a triumphant return trying to read and ad, and the guys each give their favorite summer banger to give you something to chew on heading into the weekend. It's a fun show, come and laugh with us. Cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
For streaming, creating, gaming, and more, power your passions for less during Dell's exceptional cyber savings event.
Enjoy up to $400 off stunning laptops like the XPS, along with high-performance desktops and next-level Alienware systems,
redefining what's possible with 10th Gen Intel Core processors.
Shop special prices on top-brand electronics and. Plus, enjoy free shipping on everything.
Don't forget to ask for Intel when you call 1-800-BUY-DELL.
That's 1-800-BUY-DELL.
Hey, this is Lou Holtz.
It's Thursday.
It's April the 18th up here sometime.
And you're listening to Pat McAfee's show, 2.0.
And I'll tell you what, if you want to enjoy this,
three things that you need to find to enjoy a podcast.
Number one, put your feet up and find yourself a comfortable place.
Number two is get yourself a beverage of your choice.
I don't care if that thing is an adult one or a Kool-Aid.
And third, most important thing to enjoy this podcast,
if you can find a defensive tackle that can get after the quarterback,
draft him because your life becomes easier.
I've been to the United States if it is.
I never found out if it is.
But Costco is always a good place to shop.
Today's show is a great one.
DeQuell Jackson stops by for a conversation that you're going to want to hear.
He wrote a letter to Tom Brady asking for his football back.
It is electric.
We're broadcasting live from my backyard, so a lot of random shit is about to pop up.
Today's show is a must-listen, and today's show is brought to you by our friends at SeatGeek.
SeatGeek is the greatest ticket-buying platform on planet Earth and the moon.
We've done the tests, we've done the research, and it holds true.
If you're going to buy a ticket on the moon, you use SeatGeek.
If you're going to buy a ticket here on the moon, you use SeatGeek. If you're going to buy a ticket
here on planet Earth, you use SeatGeek.
Let me tell you why. Because SeatGeek scans all the
other ticket buying platforms to make sure you're getting the most
bang for your buck. Is it best bang for your buck?
Yeah. Most bang for your buck.
Most bang for your buck. Well, you want the best too.
You're getting the best tickets at the best prices
from the best humans for the
biggest bang. You get it.
SeatGeek is doing that. All the groundwork that you need to be done to make sure you're not getting screwed over,
SeatGeek's already doing that.
And it's very simple to buy from SeatGeek.
All it takes is two taps.
Two taps.
Wow.
That was probably four because Connor hit it twice and I said it, but it's just two taps.
You download the SeatGeek app, you use promo code PAT, you get $10 off your first ticket
purchase.
Wow. That's incredible. Or you use McAf, you get $10 off your first ticket purchase. Wow.
That's incredible.
Or you use McAfee and get $20 off your first ticket purchase.
It's even more incredible.
Shout out to SeatGeek for being an electric sponsor of ours and an incredible ticket buying platform.
You're alive, but are you living?
Go live and experience something live today.
There's a lot happening.
Comedy, theater, sports, you name it, SeatGeek has the best tickets for you.
And they're also our main sponsor.
So if you can utilize them, that'd be great.
So they keep sticking around with us and allow us to live this very stupid life,
which involves a big Zito moment here at the end of the show that you're going to want to listen to.
Also, Bespoke Post is the greatest thing that I've signed up for in a long time.
It's basically Christmas once a month to me, from me, from the fine folks at Bespoke Post.
Let me tell you what happens.
Bespoke Post searches the entire world for trendy, up-and-coming, awesome items,
and they put it in a box which they deem the box of awesome,
which I've never heard something more accurately described.
When it shows up at the office, it's a nice gift for
me that just shows up out of nowhere.
The boys also have signed up. Ty Schmidt
just got in on this thing.
There's different types of box of awesomes that you
can get. When it shows up, Ty, what is it?
It's a surprising moment for you. Yeah, every single
time. I love it. Us as adults,
there's not many things that
just pop up out of nowhere and surprise us.
Nope. and help us
Box of Awesome has done that
and you can get in on the action as well
BoxofAwesome.com is what place
you gotta go. Bespoke Post sends
guys only the best stuff every single month
they test everything in the Box of Awesome
themselves from style and grooming goods
to barware, cooking tools and
outdoor gear. Every product gets put
through the ringer before it gets put inside a monthly Box of Awesome.
To get started, take the quiz at boxofawesome.com.
Your answers will help them pick the right Box of Awesome for you.
They release new boxes every month across a ton of different categories.
It's free to sign up, and you can skip a month or cancel any single time.
Wow.
Each box costs only $45 but has over $70 worth of gear inside.
You're already getting $25 just like that.
Yeah.
Boom.
Look at you.
Boom.
Bang.
Bing.
That's a loud bang for your buck.
Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter the code HEARTLAND at checkout.
That's boxofawesome.com, code HEARTLAND for 20% off your first box.
Ladies and gentlemen gentlemen you're
gonna love this conversation dear tom brady first and foremost congratulations on a sixth
championship well deserved my friend do you remember that game we played four years ago
in the afc championship you may not remember but you sent grunt on a seam route down the middle
and i picked it off boy did that feel so good i mean you never throw them anyways i gave the football to the colts equipment guys
they wrote my name and my initial on that football i had already started visualizing where i was
going to place that football on my mantle here's the fucked up part i never got my ball back the
nfl said it was deflated then bill belichick and bill nye the science guy had a pissing contest
over psi levels the best way i can describe it it's like meeting someone and it's love at first sight and after
meeting once you never have a chance to ever speak again roger goodell probably has my fucking
football on his damn mantle look tom you beat our ass fair and square i've accepted it and i've
moved on but now i'm asking you man to man and father to father please help me get my football
back or do i feel inflated
cecilia yours your friend the quail jack ladies and gentlemen joining me now is a man who is the
epicenter of conversation in the nfl for quite some time he's a pro bowler he was an incredible
veteran in the indianapolis colts locker room he was a legend for the cleveland browns he had an
old school helmet guaranteed to have concussion protocol a few times he was a legend for the Cleveland Browns. He had an old school helmet. Guaranteed to have concussion
protocol a few times.
He was a locker mate of mine.
Good dude. And the man who
intercepted the ball that went on to start
the Deflategate conversation,
DeQuell Jackson.
Yeah!
What's going on, fellas?
How you doing, brother? DeQuell, life is good.
Not as good as yours.
I've been watching you on Instagram.
You and your lady have been traveling the world.
How has retirement been?
Retirement has been great.
You know, I've added a couple pounds.
I'm sitting in my gym right now, so just a constant reminder I need to get back in the gym.
But life has been good.
We've been traveling like crazy, man.
Wife has been on maternity leave for quite some time.
We had to get it in. You know brought we brought our little son with us everywhere we uh we traveled so that was good he's good on planes so uh yeah life is good man i have
no complaints where did you go where's the sweet place you want to that i should travel we just got
we just got back from have you ever been to anguilla don't even know what that is. Anquilla, St. Barts,
you know, it was great food,
sky blue beaches,
just a great time. Did the
boating thing, did the
snorkeling thing.
It was just a great time.
We've been there. We just got back from there
probably about a week ago.
Hey, Taquale, I want to say
this. You deserve everything that you go and enjoy
because whenever you came to the Colts,
not only were you a hard-nosed man,
but you worked your ass off.
First guy in the locker room, last guy out,
and you were a leader in there.
So go enjoy those sky-blue beaches all you need to do, bro.
Hey, I appreciate it.
Hey, you know what?
You made my life a living hell the first couple weeks.
Because I had no idea.
I always tell you this.
Anytime we get together, I always tell you this.
You know, I come in early.
But somehow, you always had so much energy like it was the middle of the freaking day.
You know, I got used to it.
It was great.
Do you remember when I turned to you?
I was like, dude, this is what
I have to look forward to every morning?
And you was like, oh yeah.
From that point, I was like,
I love this guy, man. I get it.
I get it, man. It's awesome.
I understand that your job
was a much more miserable one
than mine, so I felt like bringing the juice was something that I had to do.
And I appreciated it, man.
It made the days go by a lot quicker, I can tell you that.
Hey, man, I need to know.
Is this going to be like this every day?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I think that was like 6.45 a.m. too.
Yeah, it was early in the morning and I had nothing.
I couldn't respond.
I was like, I just dropped my head in my head.
By the way, I want to let you know that at that moment, I knew I had you cracked.
You know, I knew I had you.
I was like, all right, I got this.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you got me.
All right.
Taquell, let's talk about the video that you released onto the Internet yesterday
that was absolutely magical.
I mean, it was an incredible thing.
It revolved around you writing a letter to Tom Brady basically saying,
Hey, Tom, I know that a lot of things happened with the whole deflate ball situation.
I know that my interception led to that entire investigation,
but I had nothing to do with that.
And all I want is my goddamn ball back is basically what he said.
Pretty much.
Pretty much.
You know, the woman who helps me kind of navigate through this new retirement world,
she brought it to my attention.
She was like, you know what?
I have some connections at Uninterrupted.
You know, let's get together.
Let's come up with something around the Flake Gate.
And a guy named Lee Altman, I want to say.
I'm sorry if I'm butchering his last name.
But he came up with the idea.
I kind of gave him some, you know, some of my weird humor, sort of say.
But he came up with something.
It was like when he brought it to my attention the first thing that came to mind was jimmy fallon you know if you ever
seen jimmy fallon he has these like uh thank you notes or something like that oh yeah and i thought
it was a brilliant way to kind of you know connect the dots between you know making light of a
situation that a lot of boston fans really don't of Boston fans really don't like me.
They really don't like me,
and all I wanted was my fucking football,
and I wanted to be here for that.
It wasn't me.
I wasn't a whistleblower.
That was above my pay grade.
I was just doing my job.
I wanted my freaking football,
and if anyone could get it back,
it would be Tom Brady. So we had fun with it.
It was great.
Hopefully, I don't know if he'll respond.
Probably not. But I've had a lot of fun with just, you know, talking to fans on Instagram
and Twitter, just kind of, you know, chalking it up a little bit. But it was a great time.
It was a lot of fun.
I thought it was absolutely genius. I want to let you know. And I never really thought
to ask you about the entire situation situation because the last thing you're thinking
about especially as a guy who doesn't touch the football often as a middle linebacker right right
for instance i touch the ball a lot right so if the ball if the ball has a little bit less in it
or a little bit more in it i know immediately because i i touch the ball a lot you are not a
guy that's around the football that's why you play middle linebacker you catch the ball a lot. You are not a guy that's around the football. That's why you play middle linebacker. You catch the ball.
Easy, easy.
Yeah, you can't catch the ball often, but that one time it got stuck.
It stuck in your hand somehow.
I think they should have checked the gloves possibly.
But you catch the ball.
You toss it to an equipment manager, and you just go, hey, man,
I'll get this back.
I just picked off Tom Brady in a fucking playoff game.
I would like to call back.
That ball disappears forever.
I never even thought about your heartbreak here.
Oh, listen.
This has been a sore topic of mine for a very long time.
When you talk about, I don't mind talking about what happened,
but when you talk about do I have my souvenir, it's very touchy for a moment.
My wife used to work in D.C. on the Hill in government.
I had her pulling all the strings.
I'm like, call everyone you know.
I need to get this freaking football back.
Do we need to hire an attorney?
I wanted my football.
I really did.
I don't have anything of Tom Brady in my little ā here, let me show you something.
Yeah.
We're taking a tour of his workout room in his office, I believe, now.
So, can you see all this?
We've got helmets, we've got jerseys, we've got autographed pictures,
we've got a lot of memorabilia.
And I don't have a Pat McAfee jersey, by the way, or a Cleatshaw,
just letting you know.
Not yet, not yet, not yet.
We'll get that out.
Not yet.
It's on its way.
But, yeah, that was, you know, all I wanted, you know,
I was kind of trying to save myself because everyone blamed me for everything.
And like you mentioned, I never touched a football.
I had no ideas.
My hands were numb.
I was surprised that I even caught the first place, you know.
And I can show you exactly.
If we have some time, I can show you exactly where I want to put this football.
I have a special place for it.
And we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
I hardly doubt it, but I'll do for an autographed football by the GOAT himself.
That'll win me over. I think that's the most impressive part about all this,
is the players that were in the actual game, right?
All of us in the locker room.
We would like to not talk about that game because how big of a fucking blowout it was.
I mean, it was a great season.
It was a great season, and it ended in a very negative manner there.
Remember the storm that kicked off right before the game started?
I mean, it was just a nightmare of a situation.
Oh, it was a nightmare from, I tell you what,
the minute I heard the ball bounce off of Josh Cribb's helmet,
I knew we were in trouble.
We were in trouble.
I think the defense, we stormed out.
I think we got a three and out.
We're punting.
We're feeling good about ourselves.
You know, E-Wall, everyone, we're looking at each other like, yeah, you know,
like, you know, we may have a game here.
Then all of a sudden you hear this loud thump, and it's Josh Cribs,
and Tom Brady and that offense has the ball back on like the 15-yard line.
It just snowballed out of control from that point.
We had no shot in the hill.
And then obviously that game lingered for years because of the deflating.
And every single time it got brought up, everybody on our team was asked about it.
Like, so do you think he was deflating the football?
I don't give a shit.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
We got our ass kicked.
I swear, football didn't change the outcome of that game.
I can tell you that.
You said it, and I've said it numerous times.
Tom Brady's the greatest quarterback of all time.
That's not even close.
You deserve to get your ball back.
You know what's funny?
Out of my 11, you know, long, hard, you know, going through surgeries,
what have you, I played this game for a very long time.
People bring up my name.
Unfortunately, it's got to be associated with the Flay game.
So I got to have fun with it.
I got to have fun with it.
Well, I think you're addressing it head on, by the way.
In the midst of a PR crisis, you've got to dive right in front of it,
take it head on, and then it will get past it.
I think the video you put out was absolutely beautiful,
and I think you handled it in an incredible way.
By the way, just like you handle everything else,
you handle things in a very gracious manner,
and I think that's what made you such a well-beloved player in the locker room.
Hey, Pat, that means a lot coming from you, man.
That really does, man.
Well, hey, I don't know if you're being serious there or not,
but it's every fucking day.
Hey, so I saw you kicking footballs recently.
Do we have some freaking news here?
What's the deal with that?
Well, I mean, I am.
Am I allowed to ask some questions right now?
Oh, you are, yeah.
DeQual, you're allowed to do whatever you want.
I mean, you were the guy that started Deflategate.
I mean.
Oh, you are, yeah.
Taquale, you're allowed to do whatever you want.
I mean, you were the guy that started the Flakegate. I mean...
I know this.
Whatever you get your hands on is going to turn into gold, man,
because you're an incredibly talented individual.
I take that.
And you're not afraid to do what you feel right in your heart.
So I appreciate that, man.
I really do.
Hey, Taquale, I'm being serious when I say
we're having a moment here.
I thank you for that.
We are.
That means I've been kicking footballs, though,
at night for like the last three, four weeks.
Field goals, though, DeQual, field goals.
Field goals.
So we'll see how the leg holds up.
We'll see if any situations arise.
It's going to hold up.
It's going to hold up.
It's a boomstick. Come on, man. Are you kidding me? DeQual, I'm kicking the fuck out of the ball holds up. We'll see if any situations arise. It's going to hold up. It's going to hold up. Boom. Come on, man.
Are you kidding me? DeQuel, I'm kicking the fuck out of
the ball, man. I'm kicking the shit
out. I thought I lost. I've witnessed
it. I've witnessed you kick
60-something-odd-yard field goals in
practice, and everyone's looking around
like, what are we doing here?
We can score with Pat.
Well, there was Vinatieri
there for a long time. I got very... Yeah, yeah. He's a go. He's a go. I got very Well, there was Vinatieri there for a long time.
Yeah, yeah, he's a GOAT.
I got very lucky to learn from Vinatieri for a long time.
Yes, yes.
But I get a little bit antsy when I don't have a big goal, right?
So I need a big goal.
I need something.
Okay.
We run our business.
We run our business day to day.
Yes, yes. Very lucky to be successful.
But at the end of the day, I need something big to happen.
I got it.
And there hasn't been many big things happening.
So once I started kicking the football and started kicking field goals again,
I was like, wait a minute.
It's still there.
Wait a minute.
That's your place of peace.
Yeah, that's your place of peace.
You get to calm down and relax when you're kicking football.
Man, I get it.
I get it.
Oh, DeQuell.
I don't know what to do.
I honestly don't know what to do right now. I am very. Hey, you're doing it. You're doing it right now. You I get it. I get it. Oh, DeQuell. I don't know what to do. I honestly don't know what to do right now.
You're doing it. You're doing it right now.
You're doing it.
Take it day to day, man.
We're in no rush.
You're Pat McAfee. Go do some stand-up. You can go do stand-up.
You can go do whatever the hell you want to do.
Speaking of, we have a tour announcement
coming out on Monday. I'm doing a
six-city tour.
That's breaking news.
But there's a lot of
things happening. And let's get you your ball back.
Yes.
I don't know if you have a drink, but cheers to that.
I have some nice wine.
Hey, cheers to you, man. I got a pitcher
here. We're a little short on the drinks.
What is that? Water? It's water, man.
Somebody here was supposed to bring drinks and they
chose not to. And it's actually a little bit of a sore subject right now.
Wait a minute.
So how many of you are out in your backyard right now?
Seven.
Seven.
And no one brought a drink?
Well, somebody was supposed to bring drinks, and they chose not to do it.
It was actually a veryā
Don't want to get that ass kicked right now.
Yeah, well, hey, it almost happened.
DeCole, it almost happened.
It almost happened, man.
Hey, I appreciate you, man.
Tell your beautiful wife and your baby we said hello, will you?
Oh, and congratulations to you, by the way.
Forever's a long time, man.
Hey, listen, listen.
Hey, the way you, your proposal, I'm glad I was done with my situation.
Oh, I couldn't even show my wife.
Like, uh, nah, I'm not going to show my wife.
Yeah, right.
You got married in like some Italian villa.
Yeah, but it's all about the steps, man, the journey.
That was freaking player.
That was the boss move, man.
Hey, cheers.
Cheers to you, man.
Hey, DeGuo, I appreciate the hell out of you, man.
Good luck with everything. You're the best. Hey, same to you. Hey, keep in touch, man. Hey, goodQual, I appreciate the hell out of you, man. Good luck with everything.
You're the best.
Hey, same to you.
Hey, keep in touch, man.
Hey, good luck, fellas.
And bring some drinks the next time.
That's what I'm saying.
Damn right.
I got it for sure.
Cheers, DeQual.
You're the best, dude.
All right, take care.
Yep.
He's the man.
Yeah.
Hey, he's a good dude.
Cool dude.
Started to flake it, but cool dude.
Yeah, see, I honestly, I didn't even think about him getting thrown under the bus for that whole thing
until I think I talked to him like a month afterwards.
No, it was at the Pro Bowl the week afterwards.
He was there.
It was in Arizona out in the middle of the desert.
And DeQuell was there smoking a cigar, I think, out on the back patio.
And he was like, man, I just keep getting hit up about this.
The flake it thing.
I'm like, oh, I didn't even think about you.
You're pretty much in the middle of this whole thing.
I forgot to ask him right there, and I think he told us before.
I want to know if he ever got interviewed for the whole thing,
and I don't think he ever even got talked to.
I don't even think they even asked him about anything.
You asked him that when we were in Minnesota.
Yeah, at the Super Bowl.
He said he didn't.
He said nobody even reached out to him, right?
Al Dacquo was like, he was just a football player.
That Minnesota interview was one of the most awkward points of my life.
I was sitting right in the middle of DeQual Jackson,
who started the whole deflating, not by his own fault, obviously,
and then Dave Portnoy on my right.
It's just grilling each other.
I think Portnoy and DeQual handled it.
I was very cordial, but it could have been our little powder keg situation.
I was in between Dave Portnoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, boy.
That was awesome.
I'll tell you what.
I will tell you what.
I don't think I've ever had a more hilarious morning than when I was sitting next to Bill Nye.
I asked him about marijuana immediately, and then the entire room just changed.
I was like, they're like, Pat, do you have any questions for Bill Nye?
I'm like, absolutely.
I'd like to ask him about marijuana.
They're like, okay, do you have any questions for Bill Nye? I'm like, absolutely. I'd like to ask him about marijuana. They're like, okay, you can do that. After you do that,
Dave's going to read the blog that he
it was a hit piece, basically.
I was like, okay, so I'll just ask my
question and get out of the way. They're like, yeah. I'm like, alright.
Here we go. So I asked the question and then Dave,
to Dave's credit, Dave
read the entire blog that he
wrote about Bill Nye that was in a negative fashion
and Bill Nye sat there, took it
right on the chin, fought back.
They had a nice, cordial conversation, and it was a beautiful moment,
just like the DeQual Dave.
I think, by the way, Dave gets judged for a lot of things.
I'd say Dave is stern but fair.
Yep.
I think Dave is stern but fair.
I think he's stern but fair.
Just like with DeQual, Bill Nye, he did not back off on that.
I think it was good.
Shout-out to DeQuell for coming on.
Incredible conversation.
Shout out to the boys here.
We're about to dive into a great conversation from my backyard.
I think you're going to enjoy that.
Ty Schmidt's going to be up until 4 a.m.
Send him some tweets saying you love him.
I think you're going to enjoy this conversation.
We're about to have bats get involved.
Gorman almost falls in a pool.
Connor gets yelled at.
You're going to hear the whole story that we just talked about there about the drinks with DeQuell.
You're going to love that.
Nick almost killed Boston Connor.
This conversation you're about to enjoy.
Shout out to DeQuell.
We appreciate you so much.
Yeah, have a great day.
We're coming to you live from my backyard.
The birds are chirping.
The birds are flying overhead.
There's coyotes. There's deer.
There's dogs. There's cats. There's
mice. And there's a slew of gentlemen
that have traveled up here joining me in my backyard
at Hey Gorman. How are you,
buddy? I'm good. I'm about to go poolside and I
don't want to go in. Well, yeah, your
seat is definitely in the pool
currently.
We are sitting around the pool that I've
never been allowed to get into due to the hole in my
eardrum this upcoming summer.
It's going to be a completely different animal.
Later in the show, I'll be asking the
boys their top three
spring-summer songs because it
does feel as if the weather is about to
change a little bit. I'm very excited
for it. Also, at Viva Lozito
has brought his incredible intelligence
to my backyard. Zito,
how are you feeling? I totally thought a pelican
was a crane earlier. Yeah, you said they were actually
the same thing. And then you said a turkey
and a pelican were the same thing. And then we got to the
bottom of eggs. Turkey lay
eggs. Yes. Turns out birds do
lay eggs. That is a fucking
insane thing. I've never had a turkey
scrambled egg. Well, you should think about it sometime.
At Boston Connor, also here.
He arrived
in the middle of
chaos, to be honest. He, in the group
text, said he would bring drinks.
He chose not to do so.
Nick Moraldo, not very happy with him.
How do you... Discrepancies? There's no
discrepancies. Well, I mean, drinks. We brought
four Propels. I believe that
qualifies as drinks.
There's seven people here.
Seven people.
You minus the three from the pub.
We brought drinks for 100% of the people at this party.
Boston Conner is the greatest deflector of blame I've ever met in my entire life.
It's almost a real talent at this point.
How good he is at just blaming others for things that he fucks up.
Speaking of a person who blamed him for something, at Nick Moraldo.
Also, I would like to blame
Nick Moraldo for the Penguins loss.
Let me tell you why.
I took
a lot of heat
on the internet the last two days.
A lot of heat. From almost
the entire city.
Evan Fox.
Evan Fox just decided crack in the screen.
Evan Fox just decided to let the cell phone,
which is recording for YouTube,
just sit all by itself.
And it just got blown over here in the backyard while he was going to go hit another fucking pitching wedge.
Nothing to do here, he said.
My job.
My job is done.
This thing's on the...
The cell phone is sitting on a little thing,
on a gimbal,
that the bottom of it is about as round as a fucking quarter.
And he put it on a table that is not sturdy.
It's been in the backyard for the entire winter.
That thing has seen winter coming.
And just decided to go hit some golf balls in the back.
You see that Game of Thrones? Yeah, I mean, you beat him one time, and then all of a sudden,
he just forgets his job, picks up the golf club,
and he's heading over there to try and get a leg up all of a sudden.
Well, let's not forget that every video that Foxy records, he decides to send into my cell
phone.
So I had a 158-minute video that Foxy recorded with his fucking ass the other evening just
show up in my phone at 3 a.m.
It made zero sense.
Foxy, I don't want to say Foxy has changed with success.
I will say that Foxy has matured with success,
and with the maturity comes forgetting things.
Like, for instance, Gorman, a little bit of an older gentleman.
Microphone's down there.
It's in your pocket.
I'm trying to give my summer bangers
to you.
Your summer spring bangers. Perfect.
But as you get older and you mature,
you forget things. Foxy's just forgetting
his job on most parts.
Connor's forgetting drinks.
We remember drinks, but of course.
Anyways, we're back.
I've been taking a lot of heat from the
entire city of Pittsburgh for the last two days
because I've sent out some tweets saying that the Penguins were a lock.
Yeah.
Which they were.
I've watched this Penguins team every single shift, every single line change,
every single, the whole season, all 96 games.
Yep.
There it is. Yeah. I watched the 14 preseason games. Yep, there it is.
I watched the 14 preseason games, too, whenever they were skating down there at South Point,
which is where they practice in Pittsburgh.
I watched them do some.
Yeah, they moved.
Well, back in this facility, it's incredible.
The little Mu Complex, it's great.
Okay, I watched them practice.
I've watched this team.
I didn't think there was any shot that they would lose in the barn over there at New York Islanders.
Then whenever I saw them lose the first game, I was like, you know what? That's what the Pens do.
They're gentlemen. They're classy. We're an organization that revolves around doing the
right thing at the right time. First home game since 1984 or something like that for the New
York Islanders. You get it. In the 80s. And I just assumed the Pens were going to be there.
I locked up the second one. I said, boys, this is a lock. The Pens are no longer the gentlemen.
They're going to win this one and kind of just establish their dominance
on this New York Islanders team that hasn't had a home ice situation
in a playoff since 88.
Ever.
It's a year after I was born.
30 years ago.
Dude, a long time.
Three decades, some would say.
Almost half a century.
So then they lose game two.
Well, at that point, if I know Sid like I think I do, Sid's going to get in there with his little Canadian accent,
number 87 with his stick and the ear guards that he wears on his fucking helmet,
and he's going to talk to Gino, and they're going to go, listen, Putin's going to be pissed.
Let's do this thing.
We're not going to go down 3-0.
So I say this is a lock.
Actually, I didn't even put it out.
No.
I didn't put out that it was a lock, even though in my heart I knew it was.
Oh, yeah.
They lose without me putting out the tweet that it's a lock.
Obviously, the curse gets
reversed there because I didn't say it was a lock and they still
lost. So,
game four, the Pittsburgh Penguins
tweet out, do or die.
And I go, go ahead and lock this motherfucker
up for the Pittsburgh Penguins. They're tweeting out
that they know this is a do or die situation.
The locker room has caught wind that I have told them,
hey, let's go, boys.
And what do they do?
They get run off the fucking ice.
And that's my fault?
I get blamed because I sent out some tweets.
And, Nick, you just sit there and let me take bombs over Baghdad
on the internet, not even tell me, like, hey, Pat,
the Pens are going to lose this series.
I feel like I should have been told.
I told you not to tweet out those locks.
I said it. I feel like I should have been told. I told you not to tweet out those locks. I said it.
I said it on the podcast.
I'm on record as advising you not to tweet out the locks.
You did it anyways.
But because you're so selfless and you're such a hockey guy,
you took the blame for the team as a mature veteran leader.
That way the players don't have to feel it on their shoulders.
It's on you.
Congratulations, Jake Gensel.
Congratulations, Matt Murray. Congratulations, Jake Gensel. Congratulations,
Matt Murray. Congrats,
Sid. Congrats, Gino.
Congrats, Schultz.
Congrats, Rusty. Congrats, that entire locker room. I am
the one to blame for those tweets, for
your loss. Get to work this offseason.
Let's come back and win another cup, boys.
Hey, here we go. Look at me doing that, by the way.
That's my official statement on the entire thing.
Also, follow-up to official statement.
How the fuck did we just get swept like that?
We're supposed to be the best team in hockey.
What did ā I have not watched a single game.
The best team in hockey got swept this year, too.
It's in Bay Lightning.
Historically, like past 20 years, one of the greatest seasons ever in the league,
especially the past 20 years, and they just got dog-walked by Columbus.
Dog-walked, by the way.
Cardi B, respect.
Great line.
Yeah, she drugs dudes and then rapes them.
Well, I guess.
And then she robs them.
What did you think of the Tampa Bay?
No, no, she said she did it.
I mean, this wasn't even a court case.
Concrete proof.
Yeah, she was like wide open.
I was just like, yeah, this is what I would do.
Nice of her to admit it.
Very nice of her to take it.
By the way, rappers, since the beginning of time,
have been admitting to doing terrible things to people.
Exactly.
What's your body count?
Mine's double digits.
That's not like dancing with.
I believe that is a murder.
Big J used to rap about Slippin' Girls and Mickey.
Poppin' on some of their drink.
Rick Ross did too too, one time.
She didn't even know it.
I took her home, and I enjoyed it.
She didn't even know it.
He got dropped by Reebok the next day, as soon as that song came out.
So I respect that.
He didn't even know.
Yeah, he didn't even know.
He's probably on a plane somewhere.
But rappers have been talking about doing terrible things for a long time to up their street cred.
So Cardi B just flipping it on its head.
I understand the uproar because it's something very terrible,
but I feel like that's what rappers do.
If you get shot, it ups your rap game.
I think it's just something you do.
Tampa Bay Lightning, Gorman, how'd that happen?
I just think Cardi B in that whole thing.
Okay, here we go.
All right, just let me say this on Cardi B.
We don't know if she did it or not.
She said she did it.
So now you're saying she's a liar.
Hold on, I'm just saying,
you said about street cred and stuff like this.
You tag a story to an artist
do the math.
I don't know.
I don't know.
She want that to be her association.
Because, remember Rick Ross
almost died because he was having a threesome with two strippers.
Correct. These types of stories
do come out where it kind of ups their street cred. Anyways, that's in the
past. Dog walk was a great line.
Tampa Bay Lightning. Why did they lose and why did
the Penguins lose? The captains of the Tampa Bay
Lightning and I'm going to throw in John
Cooper there, the head coach, should be embarrassed.
Whoa. If you're listening right now,
they should be embarrassed. They are not listening.
These damn co's. I'm just saying. You got your
face just dragged across
the mud, embarrassing. I mean, records being... Anyway, that's in a nutshell, I'm just saying. You got your face just dragged across the mud, embarrassing.
I mean, records being ā anyway, that's in a nutshell.
It's just embarrassing.
He was coaching.
I'm going after the captains first because that's your locker room
and you boys didn't show up, and I know you're watching.
Are you bringing the fourth wall?
Yeah, he is.
He's talking to the YouTube thing.
No, I want him to hear me is what I'm saying.
Oh, okay.
I want him to hear me.
What was it, Nick, 117 points or 111 points?
Yeah, I can't remember the exact number, but they were mentally weak.
I'm happy the NHL season's over, though.
I'm happy it's over.
Good season.
I don't have anything to worry about anymore.
Your season is over.
We still got some games to play.
For instance, my season's just beginning.
The Knights are rolling.
The Vegas Golden Knights?
Duds.
Marc-Andre Fleury's in a sack.
I mean, I'm kind of a fan of that guy.
I hope they do well.
Are they still doing shows?
Yeah, is there like an entire night operation before there where they're slaying the king and the beast?
I think they've toned it down a little bit.
They have toned it down.
We do have a new wagon out front.
Well, you can get on the bandwagon now.
And I think I might, by the way.
Now that my team's out.
Plenty of room for it.
No better time than now. So just like I was a Pirates fan growing up, but for think I might, by the way. Hey. Now that my team's out. Plenty of room for it. No better time than now.
So just like I was a Pirates fan growing up, but for 20 years they were fucking dog shit.
Okay?
So I had a regular season team was the Pirates.
Playoff team was the Yankees.
So I was a Yankees fan in the playoffs.
I'm not a hockey fan during a regular season.
During the playoffs, I'm a diehard Pittsburgh Penguins fan.
Oh, yeah.
It only lasted four games this year.
I'm kind of upset that my hockey season did not last that long.
You got shorted.
I did get shorted.
You did.
I should be more upset with the Penguins than I am, I think.
I think you should.
Especially for taking all this blame.
No, no, I'm a good fan.
My fanhood's strong.
Vegas Golden Knights probably going to win the Stanley Cup.
Go ahead and lock that up.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I love the confidence.
I love the confidence.
Another league decided to release their schedule. At Ty Schmidt here, by the way. At Evan Fox, he's playing golf in the confidence. I love the confidence. Another league decided to release their schedule.
At Ty Schmidt here, by the way.
At Evan Fox, he's playing golf in the back.
I hit one.
Was that a whip?
No, that was Fox's shot he just missed.
Yeah, that's very nice of him.
Another league decided to steal the headlines last night and release the schedule.
Now, that's how you know that a league feels themselves.
Oh, yeah.
The schedule release was being marketed for like a week and a half. Like, hey, we got
the schedule coming out. Go ahead and shut down everything you got happening on Wednesday
the 17th. We're going to release who's going to play who, where, and when. And it's real
though. It's just like the draft and next week it's going to dominate. It's just the same exact thing.
What are some notable games that have got announced
that we should all be excited about?
I mean, right off the bat, let's just get to it.
The Patriots might end Ben Roethlisberger's career
and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Pittsburgh Steelers, we very well might be seeing that end
of the Big Ben ever.
Yeah, but you've got to remember,
and this is what I'm learning as a member of the
critics, which is
what I am. Patriots start out like
dog shit. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
This is a good thing for the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are going to
be a young, up-and-coming team. Juju
likes a spotlight, too, so look for him to go off
early. They've got something to prove, too.
After all the drama and all the
stuff that went down with A.B. and Lovebell, can you still
get it done? I don't know.
Probably not.
Here we go.
Yeah, Gronk's not coming out of retirement in week one.
He's not coming out of retirement in week one.
He'll probably be at the game, by the way,
because he graduated from Western Pennsylvania High School.
So his game in New England?
It is in New England, yes.
Yeah, they were Super Bowl champs, obviously.
He's probably waving the flag.
Yeah, he's probably ā what do you guys have?
Do you guys have like a ā
We actually have a bunch of Musketeers.
Yeah, a bunch of Minutemen.
So will Gronk get a gun?
He should get the gun. God, I hate those guys
with a passion. Why?
What, the guys that fought for the country? The
Patriots?
That fought the Redcoats? Goodness, Corbin.
Jerry and Ben, the guys that are
in the thing.
Jerry and Ben. Or whatever.
Marvin Axe, Steel,
Laser and Blade.
Watching the game, going to the sideline.
Hey, I'm going to the other side.
I'm going back upstairs.
Boom.
Score.
Watching it.
Holy shit.
You've got to be kidding me.
Fuck.
Rock away.
Boom.
And these guys are right here pointing them this high over my head.
This is our house.
We gave up a lot of points to them whenever I was playing. I wrote a lot of elevators to that song, trust me.
Yeah, there's a lot of score in there for the Patriots for a long time.
To quote Jackson, all he wants is the football back.
Give him the ball.
Give him the ball.
Give him the ball.
At least get him a new one.
Who has the ball?
Who's the dude that did all the studies?
We'll talk to him.
Goodell.
We'll talk to him about it.
I don't think Goodell did any studying of anything.
He was just, just like most cases, Roger Goodell is the guy who talks about everything.
He's the designated speaker about every situation.
I've seen him, and I think I talked about this before.
Whenever we were about to go into the lockout, Roger Goodell visited every single team.
And it was Jeff Saturday told us, boys, get your questions ready.
Roger Goodell is going to be in training camp tomorrow in our room.
We're going to have a players-only meeting with Roger Goodell tomorrow
to talk about the lockout and everything like that.
Whatever question you have for Roger Goodell,
you go ahead and you fire away, boys.
This is open season.
Oh, yeah, from the hip.
So I'm too young to even talk then.
So I'm just excited about the operation.
First question comes from clint session oh yeah
who says when we fuck up you find us the owner's gonna lock us out ain't that them fucking up
shouldn't you find them oh and then by the way the whole room was like hey hey
okay he took jeff saturday's words to heart last night,
sat down in the dorm room, went to work, was like, you know what?
I only get this opportunity one time.
What am I going to ask?
That was what he asked.
I thought it was a brilliant question.
Roger Goodell said, well, we're not sure exactly what's going to happen.
And I watched him finesse this entire little Q&A session with the players
in the most beautiful fashion.
I was like, this motherfucker is so talented at saying nothing but speaking for 35 minutes and then it was it was the perfect
depiction of why the guy is the is the commissioner it was a perfect it was like oh this guy literally
said nothing that would make anybody look bad he answered zero questions got nothing happened but
in the end everybody was like okay and jeff, I had to call off the dogs, by the way.
Oh, really?
The boys started lobbing grenades from the back, like,
as he was answering a question, yeah, but,
and then there was another, yeah, but that don't,
boom, bang, bang, and Jeff started, he was like,
alright, boys, I think we've had enough
today, and Roger Godot was like, oh, it was an honor, boys,
and everybody in the room was like, this guy's
good, this guy, this guy's
good at talking. This sounds like every single meeting that you have with Suits after.
You walk out like, oh, you know what?
I had a couple questions, but it went overall pretty well.
Yeah, pretty good, but nothing really happened.
You think about it on the plane, and you land in India, and you're like, wait, we didn't talk about it.
Foxy and I have sat in no less than 35 meetings with Suits around the country,
and every single time it's always a very positive thing.
And then we get out of it, it's like, man, nothing fucking happened in that meeting.
It's always like when we're on the way out, too.
It's like a big handshake situation.
Like, oh, awesome, man.
And then once we start walking outside, I'll ask Foxy a question about something that was said.
And Foxy will go, you know, I was wondering the same thing.
And then I don't know what it's called.
Hyperanalyze?
Is that something?
No.
Overanalyze?
Overanalyze maybe.
I start overanalyzing like every situation because when I'm by myself, there's nothing but me and thoughts.
And on these airplanes, no Wi-Fi.
And I don't have a lot of games on my phone.
So it's literally just me and my thoughts.
So I just start thinking about every conversation.
I'm like, that motherfucker. I mean, he didn't even say
a single thing there. I was like, the way he
delivered it, though, made me feel so good. That has
happened no less than 35 times with me and Foxy
in the last couple months. You're right. That's why they have their
positions. You put a suit on, you talk
good, you're going to be rich. And Roger
Goodell's doing that. I think the Patriots-Steelers is a good way
to kick it off, though. A lot of hype,
two historical franchises, obviously,
and I'm excited to see who does what there. Tom Brady's already training. Last year, he was not. Remember, last year, it off though a lot of hype two historical franchises obviously and i'm excited to see who does what there tom brady's already training last year he was not remember last year it was like a
big thing he was on the camels vacation he was thrown on yachts he was kind of playing hard to
get with everybody now he's like training in the backyard the tb12 thing's a real thing i'm assuming
he's going to come out a lot harder than he has that's the uh sunday night game though right
packers bears thursday night to open the seat right let's go, right? That's the Sunday night game. Packers-Bears is Thursday night to open the season.
Right.
Let's go.
Where's Don?
It's at Chicago.
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Well, you said Packers-Chicago?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was at Lambeau last year, right?
I think it's at Soldier Field.
Yeah, so it's probably at Soldier Field.
It might be at Soldier Field.
So Thursday night, kicking off the NFL season?
Kicking off the season.
Yeah, yeah.
In Chicago.
In Chicago, yeah.
Wait a minute.
That's a wild scene, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Against old Aaron Rodgers and a new LaFleur? Mm-hmm. Yep Chicago. In Chicago. Wait a minute. That's a wild scene, isn't it?
Against old Aaron Rodgers and a new LaFleur.
I'll be excited to see what
that offense has. Didn't Jordy
Nelson say, hey, if Aaron Rodgers was to ask me to come
back, I'd come back? Has Aaron Rodgers
asked him to come back? Not that I know of.
Jordy Nelson learned a lot about his friendship with Aaron Rodgers
after he put that out in the universe.
I think the GM came out right away
and said, yeah, we're not doing that.
So I think, if anything, I could see them, like,
re-signing him to, like, a one-day contract so he can retire a Packer.
How about Aaron Rodgers sending a text to the GM, like,
hey, man, is there any way you can get me out of this fucking thing with Jordy?
He wants me to basically just ask him to come back.
We all know I don't really want that.
Well, I don't know what the deal is either because they just said
that they don't see receiver as one of their priorities. So I don't know if they're going to draft back. We all know I don't really want that. Well, I don't know what the deal is either because they just said that they don't see receiver
as one of their priorities.
So I don't know if they're going to draft a guy either.
Like, their receiving core outside of Devontae Adams isn't great.
So hold on.
There's no way what happened last year, Packers-Bears,
happens again this year.
I mean, that Aaron Rodgers coming out of halftime Easter,
the NFL schedule makers are like, you know what?
Maybe Khalil Mack hurts Aaron Rodgers early again.
Maybe he comes back at halftime and we have a huge game.
Another rescue in Lambeau, but this time Soldier Field.
That was an electric game last year.
They were dominating.
I'm excited to see that happen again.
What's wrong, Zito?
I don't want Aaron Rodgers to go down.
I just hope he just bends over and just says forget about it.
Just doesn't play.
I don't want Aaron Rodgers to go down.
I just want him to bend over.
Yeah, we keep the bats here mostly because we've got a mosquito problem.
Yeah, kill mosquitoes.
We brought in the bats, by the way.
Sam tried to adopt this one fucking bat.
We had a bat house at one point.
What did you name him?
I don't.
Honestly, Christian Bale, I think.
But we had a bat house that was up on the side of the house.
It just popped up one day, and I was like, what is this?
And Sam was like, oh, it's a bat house.
There's a little baby bat.
We got to give him a house.
I'm like, bats have survived no less than 40,000 years without a wooden house that humans have made and paid for.
And we had the bat house for, I think, a few months.
And I assume the little fella made it.
Are they paying rent?
Oh, well, I don't know, but they very much fly around.
They're cute little things, by the way.
Oh, the bloodsuckers.
Are you kidding me?
They are not bloodsuckers.
Loaded with rabies.
No, they are not.
That's Hollywood making you think that.
Yeah, dude.
Don't be so easy to...
Like fruit.
Don't believe everything you see in the movies.
You should be more afraid of the mosquitoes.
I've had...
I do like the yellow fever.
Well, anytime you get bitten by a mosquito, you're just rolling the dice that none of
your neighbors that the mosquito has landed on before has any terrible disease.
So as soon as I get bit by a mosquito, I'm just like, all right, let me look around real
quick.
Imagine being next to Magic Johnson.
Oh, Jesus.
Mosquitoes in that neighborhood are eating good.
Mr. Johnson, crazy.
The way you retired from your
position with the lakers obviously insane but hilarious i respect it i hurt i don't think you
got enough power you should have more power i mean that's neither here nor there quick question
though did you just get bit by a mosquito less than three minutes ago because i just did and
i see that we're in the same and i was wondering about the possible okay i'll get out of here
i'm cured i guess imagine that situation i would assume that i'd assume that that is not how it and I was wondering about the possible. Okay, I'll get out of here.
I'm cured, I guess.
Imagine that situation.
I would assume that that is not how it works.
I would hope.
I hope not, yeah.
Did you guys ever hear the urban myth about bats?
If they land in your hair, they can't get out,
and you've got to shave your head to get out. I have heard that.
Have you heard that before?
Just pick it up.
That's why I wear hats.
How about that?
Solve that problem.
That's good urban legend right there.
See you tomorrow night, bats.
You can also throw rocks up in the air, and then the bats use the echolocation, the sonar.
They think it's a bug, and then they dive at it.
Let's see it.
No, no, no.
Let's be nice to my bats.
We had a bad mosquito problem until these bats showed up.
Honestly, they showed up out of nowhere one day, and it was a lifesaver.
Did you put the bat signal up?
You just got buzzed, dude.
Sorry.
Yeah, they know, bro.
These bats are good people.
I did.
You're right.
I did shoot up the thing.
I shot up the thing.
What's that dude's name?
Oh, Batman.
Commissioner Gordon.
Commissioner Gordon.
Also, this backyard here turns into a little bit of a swamp, so you could say it's mosquito
haven.
And there's a full moon tonight, Pat.
Look at it.
Those are werewolves.
Those are werewolves.
These guys.
Yeah, but we have vampires, so we're good.
Sam did see
it was either a big coyote back there
or a wolf.
I would think it was a big coyote, but it was just
sleeping in the middle of the field. There were no less
than 10 bats flying around. No kidding.
It's a little ominous. I know you love them, but if
one lands on you, you've got
to get 15 shots in your stomach
for the rabies.
It's not going to land. These bats and I get along very well.
They take out the mosquitoes.
We live very much in conjunction.
I'm just saying, if one happens to, urgent care, man.
High tail.
We climb the ladder.
We're at the top of this food chain, okay?
We don't have to worry about these bats.
All right, let's get back to the NFL schedule.
I got all primetime games ready to roll if you want to hear it.
All right, Chicago Bears, Packers kicking off.
Sunday night you got Steelers, Patriots.
What else?
On that opening weekend, we'll go to Monday night doubleheader.
Usually it is.
Denver-Oakland's a late one.
Is the Rex Ryan going to work in that game?
Isn't that the Rex Ryan game, right?
It's on ESPN, yeah.
And the first one at 8 or 7-10 is Houston at Drew Brees. Okay, hold on one second. Rex Ryan told us, friend of the show, Rex Ryan game, right? Typically, yeah. It's on ESPN, yeah. And the first one at 8 or 7-10 is Houston at Drew Brees.
Okay, hold on one second.
Rex Ryan told us,
friend of the show Rex Ryan,
he said specifically
he was not good at commentating games.
Right.
He had self-awareness
and said they shouldn't do that to him.
I wonder who they'll put on
that second Monday Night Football game.
I hope it's not Trent Dilfer,
but I have a feeling it might be.
Yeah, it really might.
What if I don't even make
the second string Monday Night Football team?
We can't talk about that, or you're going to need way more than a new pool in this place.
Yeah, I know, right?
Going to implode the place.
Going to explode.
Ripping apart these chairs, probably break a bush or two, maybe a window.
Just an update on the Monday Night Football stance.
I've heard zero words.
Hey, a lot of good conversations and meetings, though.
A lot of good conversations and meetings. A lot of handshakes. A lot of good conversations and meetings, though. A lot of good conversations and meetings. A lot of nothing.
Those good conversations, I think, have
ceased. I think those
have stopped. I don't think they're even happening.
So let's go ahead and rule
out hashtag Monday Night McAfee.
Let's rule it out. I wouldn't.
Have you heard no?
I've heard no words
about it.
Hey, chip in the chair, man. You're in the running.
If it's dead, we had a hell of a run.
We did, didn't we?
We trended.
We trended for 10 hours.
Number one trend in the United States.
Close enough.
We're number two.
Hey, that guy's still breathing.
Whoever died that day, then we're number one.
Yeah, two months from now.
True.
That guy doesn't die.
By the way, rest in peace to him.
Yeah, for sure.
Luke Perry.
Who was he?
Luke Perry.
Rest in peace to Luke Perry. I just wish maybe one more day. Yeah, for sure. Luke Perry. Who was he? Luke Perry. Rest in peace to Luke Perry.
I just wish maybe one more day.
Yeah, he dies the next day. We're in a good spot.
By the way, the next day another death happened that we would have been
we wouldn't have been dogfights.
Rest in peace to them.
But we're out.
Alright, who else we got? Drew Brees, Houston?
Yeah, that's the second one. We're going to
week two, the Thursday Night Yawner.
Buccaneers, Panthers. Not a yawner, but you know, it's the second one. We're going to week two, the Thursday night yawner, Buccaneers, Panthers.
Not a yawner, but, you know, it's a Thursday night game.
Okay, so each year we kind of figure out whether or not Thursday night football is going to be worth a damn early, right?
Because the NFL schedule makers have to appease different contracts that they're either trying to re-up or they have already had.
For instance, the Amazon deal came and Thursday night was loaded with great
games. Then that deal kind of went
away. Thursday night, they kind of died
off. Sunday night football
was always the cream of the crop
until something else had to happen.
I think we can learn here early
in the schedule whether or not
the rest of the year is going to be.
Buccaneers, Panthers.
The second Thursday night game.
It's not a yawner.
That's a division game.
I think they just view it like,
hey, it's Thursday.
You'll watch whatever football we want to give you.
Here you go.
Let's throw a bone to the Bucs and give them prime time.
But let's not act like there isn't a business behind it.
Oh, no doubt.
No doubt.
Sure.
Let's not act like there isn't a business,
a handshake that happens that's like,
hey, we're going to give you $70 million.
We were like, can you play on Thursday?
We don't want Bengals Dolphins every Thursday.
Which, by the way, we don't know.
We don't know if that's happening.
We don't know if that's happening.
All right, what do we got next?
We got Philadelphia.
We got the Philly special at Atlanta on the Sunday night game week two at Atlanta.
That was last year.
I feel like that was the same thing as last year, wasn't it?
I feel like Atlanta was in Philadelphia for the opening, the opener,
Sunday Night Football.
Because remember Julio Jones didn't get the ball or whatever the whole time.
The Eagles fans were booing the Eagles second half right after they do the banner drop.
I remember that as a lot of repeat games it feels like.
Yeah, so far.
It does.
Mail it in.
They're not even trying anymore, just like the Super Bowl logos.
Well, it doesn't matter, though, by the way, because the NFL is so ā
they own everything.
Schedule release, own the internet.
What else?
Well, this is a beauty here.
I mean, a lot of new faces.
I look so forward to seeing the new faces on the Cleveland Browns team
at the New York Jets week two.
Monday night football.
Monday night football.
Odell back in New York.
New faces.
We need to see them.
Yeah.
Cleveland Browns, New York Jets, Monday Night Football.
That's going to be an electric factory.
That is going to be an absolute electric factory.
Lev Bell running wild.
Oh, I completely forgot about Lev Bell over there.
Sam Darnold also.
I think he just turned 21.
He got another year under his belt.
Crazy eyes.
Yep.
You said it. At MetLife too.
At MetLife. A lot of damage
done this over the offseason.
If you haven't seen it yet, please go
watch the MetLife mishap, which was
going to be the MetLife massacre
until YouTube wouldn't let us upload
it. So we had to change the name of it
on all platforms to the MetLife mishap.
Probably smarter.
Although massacre is much more of an accurate description of what happened there at MetLife.
You'll have a moment of silence before the first game.
I've been getting so many tweets of people just taking pictures of trucks taking the fucking roof off all around the country.
You've seen them?
Oh, I've seen them, yeah.
Yeah, I've literally seen them.
Hey, if you're going to that game, why don't you send us a picture of yourself in front of the clubhouse awning there.
In the awning, yeah. Hey, that's not a bad idea game, why don't you send us a picture of yourself in front of the clubhouse awning there?
That's not a bad idea. Rest in peace to Lady Hawk. Rest in peace.
Roof right there. Maybe we should build
one of them candle vigils
that they have on the side of the road.
Put it on the roof of the clubhouse.
Right above the L where the L was almost
getting ripped off. Put it right above the
L. It'd be beautiful.
It'd be a beautiful memorial.
A bouquet of flowers. Maybe it right above the L. Big ribbon. It'd be beautiful. It'd be a beautiful memorial. Then a candle falls and burns down.
Maybe the back of a ladder.
How do we not take advantage of you almost ripping
an L off while taking an L?
I would have stole that L.
Took it to the pub. You destroyed it.
Well, that's all the pub is. It's a bunch of fucking L's
anyways. I don't know about that. Four propels.
Four propels.
Four. Seven people.
Nick is still frustrated, by the way.
Nick is still frustrated.
I mean, it's common courtesy.
You sent out a group text.
You said, hey, guys, everyone come over.
Awesome.
Thanks, Pat.
That's great.
That's so nice of you.
Hey, can the pub guys bring a couple drinks?
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
Connor is now pouring a water into a solo cup out of a pitcher that Sam brought down
because Nick was so pissed off about not having something to drink.
Very nice of my fiancƩ, obviously, to do that.
Foxy's now handing out the extra three Propels that they brought.
I'm good. Make sure Gorms gets something. He looks thirsty. Maybe he wants one.
All right, after the Monday night Browns and Jets,
what do we got on Thursday night?
Thursday night, week three. I'm watching.
Nobody yawn because in years
past we did this. Tennessee Titans
at Jacksonville.
So they don't give a fuck about Thursday night.
False. It's going to be interesting.
I agree. Very good
teams, but we cannot say that that
is a draw. A big-time draw.
I'm excited to watch the Tennessee Titans play football this year.
Mike Vrabel had that team turned around, ready to go.
Taylor Luan, friend of the show, pro bowler, did the video,
Cardi B video, by the way.
Awesome.
Street cred.
I like them a lot.
Nick Foles, Big Dick Nick is down now
in Jacksonville, that could potentially be
an incredible game
but I wouldn't
I don't know if Titans Jacksonville
early in the season
after Buccaneers Panthers
is a good sign for Thursday Night Football
the rest of the year, I'm excited to hear about it
The Tennessee Titans are a staple of Thursday Night Football
I feel like they play
every single week on Thursday night.
Their color rush jerseys are incredible, by the way.
Speaking of, shout out to the Los Angeles
Chargers going with the powder blue.
I think that's a good decision.
Good face mask, too. I don't love
that
NFL teams
are so set in their way with their uniforms.
I know. I don't think they should all change to the Jets
because obviously that was rough to watch, look at.
Those Jets uniforms are tough.
But I don't love just the being stuck, absolutely stuck in your ways,
and this is what our uniform looks like.
I don't mind a little bit of an adjustment.
The throwback powder blue, let's bring it back in the game
for old Phil Rivers in his 45th year.
I'm excited for that. That's going to look
good. Also, the Titans' color
rush is also going to look beautiful. It's Jacksonville. We're all
black, probably. Yeah. It's tough.
They'll probably wear all black versus the powder blue
out there. That'll be good.
I'm excited for that game all of a sudden, though.
Newsflash. Phillip Rivers just had
his 11th child. Good for
him. Are you serious? No, I'm not
serious. He's got an offense.
But he can really spit out those kids.
Well, it's his wife.
They flow from that river. Well, both of them. Well, congrats to us.
The union, yeah. Well, I mean,
Phil, what did you say?
They flow from that river.
That's like
a triple entendre.
Entendre. Entendre?
Entendre? Can you spell Entendre. Entendre.
Can you spell Entendre?
E-N.
Okay.
T-O.
Nope.
Oh, T-H-N?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, double Entendre.
Watch this Sunday night, boys.
Los Angeles Rams, we all know who they are.
We know McVay.
I'm interested to find out the new faces and how these guys do on this team.
They're going to the dog pound to take on the Cleveland Browns.
Cleveland Browns go Monday night football to Sunday night football?
Yes, sir.
When was the last time that happened?
I don't know, six games apart or six days apart.
That might not be great for them, actually.
But it's early in the season.
They're young.
They should bounce back.
But it's obvious, and I appreciate the fact that the NFL is thanking the dog pond
in the Cleveland Browns for beefing up that team and maybe making a big run here.
I'm a big fan of that.
I think the Chiefs had a Sunday night, Monday night run a couple years ago, I think.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think that's the case.
Normally, any teams that they think are going to be hot,
they seem to have prime time early. Good for the Browns, though. Good for the dog pond,'s the case. Normally any teams that they think are going to be hot, they seem to have prime time early.
Good for the brown zone.
Good for the dog pond, by the way.
L.A. Rams are coming to Cleveland.
It's a long flight.
It's a long flight coming into Cleveland.
And we were in Cleveland, what, just a couple weeks ago?
City's beautiful.
Gorgeous.
Isn't it, Nick?
It smelled like asshole.
Whoa.
Best team in the division you're talking about.
Why is Nick so ā
I haven't even played a game yet. Let's save all the best team in the division talk for talking about I haven't even played a game yet
Let's save all the best team in the division
Talk for when we actually play some football
Chris Ballard said you don't win games
In April
But Cleveland Browns made a lot of fucking plays in the offseason
They did
We'll see
If he plays
He's only going to play 11 games
11 games, 12 games, 10 games in that area First three But when he's only going to play 11 games. 11 games, 12 games, 10 games in that area.
Yeah, first three.
But when he's playing, look at!
Entendres all over the place.
All over the place.
All over the place.
What do we got next?
Next we go Chicago at Washington.
Monday night, September 2-3.
Locked.
Snooze fest.
Oh, my God.
I'll be asleep at 8 o'clock.
Chicago, too.
Primetime games early there, too.
Good team.
Mitchell Trubisky and that
Chuck Pagano defense ready to
take primetime by the balls.
Yeah. Chuck Pagano's going to be pulling
their strings on that defense. Khalil Mack's going to get loose in there.
Good for Chicago Bears. Good for
the Cleveland Browns, by the way. Cleveland Browns
and Chicago Bears. Primetime games
early in the season. Who would have thought?
You got nothing on Washington?
What's that? You got nothing on Washington? What's that?
You got nothing on Washington?
Jake Rudin's still the coach?
Yep.
Let's go.
They're going to be okay.
All right.
Dan Jones, we'll see.
All right.
Dan Daniel Jones.
Who's that?
Friend of the show.
He came by from Duke. Duke quarterback.
He's won the golf club a couple times.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is he on the Reds?
He's projected.
I've seen a couple mock drafts where he's going to the Skins at 13.
Are you kidding me?
It's unbelievable.
Dan Jones, we're talking about the Skins.
Dan Jones.
You know Dan Jones.
David, by the way.
Huh?
It's David.
No, it's Daniel Jones.
Daniel Jones?
It's Daniel, yeah.
The Dan threw me.
All right, now let's go to week six.
We've got 11 more.
This is going to be a long one.
I mean, I think we're good there.
I think we're good there.
We'll revisit this.
But mock drafts, I don't think I can find anything dumber than mock drafts.
I mean, granted, you have to fill time.
You have to fill clicks.
You have to fill space.
You have to fill TV time.
But what if a GM just wants to trade out out of nowhere?
Out of nowhere.
Well, and every once in a while, you'll see a guy who's predicting trades midway through, too.
It's like, there's no way that's going to fucking happen.
You're right on that.
I mean, picking players, they get them.
They do.
They do pretty good.
20 out of 32 sometimes they hit on.
No way.
With the trades, no chance. To look at those
though, you're more so looking at what a team
needs and who would be the best fit for that
team. It's not about actually predicting
the whole first round. Why has everybody gotten
so cold on Kyler Murray going one?
Everybody said Kyler Murray was one, was a lock just
a few weeks ago. Now it's like...
Now it's if Arizona doesn't take
him, he's going in the second.
Really? He's going back to baseball.
No way.
I saw them talking about the Raiders moving up.
Smoke screens, boys.
Smoke screens.
Yeah, everybody lies.
There's no way he's not going in the first round.
Kyler Murray?
Yeah.
First five picks.
That pro day, he was delivering the rock.
I mean, that ball, those were some beautiful balls.
Not everybody, and i'm not a scout
by any means i feel like i've watched a lot of great players do a lot of great things in practice
on a very regular basis in one-on-ones and in drills in their techniques i've got a chance to
watch really good players do a lot of things but boy some of those guys in their workouts really
look terrible yeah and it's like i just don't know if that guy's gonna cut it and and those people
that choose to sit out of the combine i don't't like it because I love the Deion Sanders mindset.
Like, I wanted to work out so everybody could see that I was exactly what they heard I was.
I love that mindset.
But if you're somebody that's, like, kind of in the middle, all you need is, what, to throw three shitty passes and somebody be like, well, that guy's going to suck.
But that Kyler Murray workout, I don't know if that was an anomaly
or if that's how he always is.
He was delivering the rock.
And the size doesn't seem to matter.
Baker Mayfield last year was electric.
He's the same size as Russell Wilson.
Oh, let's talk about that guy.
$65 million guaranteed.
I don't care how awkward you look in a selfie video at midnight in Seattle with Future's ex-wife in the bed with you. I don't care how awkward you look in a selfie video at midnight in Seattle
with Future's ex-wife in the bed with you.
I don't care how awkward you look.
You get a $65 million signing bonus.
You can wear seven chains to bed if you want.
I don't care what you look.
$65 million signing bonus is one of the most outrageous things
I've ever heard in my entire life.
Shout-out to him.
Shout-out to Matt Stafford, who I think got the same exact thing
whenever he got drafted.
Him and Bradford got about that
same amount of money. Hey, Russell Wilson played
everybody
an incredible fiddle there.
They were like, listen, we want
this done by this date,
and if not, we're fucking
going to the New York Giants.
Probably for the Yankees if they want us to.
You're going to pay us more than anybody else has ever been paid
by a long shot, and that's just the way it is.
And the Seahawks, Pete Carroll's just sitting there.
He's got nothing else he can do except for pay him.
Has to.
Quarterbacks are living.
He proved himself, though, right?
Who?
Russell?
Well, Dan Orlovsky said, friend of the show just the other day,
ESPN mouthpiece.
He said he is.
That's what he is.
He gets on ESPN and does good things with his mouth.
Honestly, when I watch Daniel Orlovsky on ESPN
I'm like, this guy's got a good brain.
He enjoys debating people it seems like.
He's perfect for the ESPN role. And he comes on
our show and drops dimes.
Russell Wilson, worst O-line
Orlovsky said, worst O-line
in the last eight years.
More undrafted receivers
catching balls than any other quarterback.
No disrespect to Dougie Baldwin, which he did
say. Did he say that?
Exactly.
I think Russell, he's won a Super Bowl.
Legion of Boom helped.
But man, I'm
happy for Russell Wilson. That video was
tough. It was a tough...
Go Hawks! So how much does Mahomes get
when his's tough?
Oh, my.
200?
Well, we can say, though, that Russell Wilson has a Super Bowl.
Yeah.
So that puts him in another stratosphere.
Went to two.
Just like Joe Flacco, right?
Joe Flacco won a Super Bowl, and he got broken off.
If you're a Super Bowl-winning quarterback in the modern era,
let's not go back to, like, Trent Dilfer.
Yeah, right.
But in the modern era, if you're a Super Bowl-winning quarterback, you're going to get broken off that's just the way it is and the
chiefs obviously have a potential team to do it so i'll be excited to see foals is a perfect example
that he's 37 and he got broken off 34 whatever 34 backup quarterback in another place won a super
bowl though hey every gm thinks we need a guy that can be get us there can win us there and
that's a guy that's already done it.
So you can look around in a room of other people that are making decisions
in suits probably for a team, and you can all be like,
yeah, that guy's won a Super Bowl.
We can pay him.
That guy's won a Super Bowl.
We can pay him.
If somebody hasn't won a Super Bowl, it's kind of hard to sell yourself on it.
Russell Wilson played everybody like a fiddle.
You almost have to, though, right, because of the way the PA works,
the player. Yeah, you can't take less. You almost have to, though, right, because of the way the PA works, the player.
Yeah, you can't take less.
You have to take more.
Luck, right?
Luck never won a Super Bowl, but he got broken off.
True.
Luck never won a Super Bowl.
He got broken off.
I thought Luck was potentially going to be the guy, too,
that asked for less money to help build up the team
just because Luck is such a humble dude.
You know, he's kind of like a ā
Yeah, but he's got a team around him.
They talk some sense into these kids.
Well, sense. I mean, $ into these kids. Sense, though.
I mean, $65 million guaranteed.
You can live very well.
Your family can live very well for the rest of that.
$150 million, I mean, that's generational wealth, obviously.
$50 million is generational wealth.
$75 million is generational wealth.
The numbers that quarterbacks get are outrageous.
I love it.
Go get as much as you can get.
But I thought there was going to come a time where a young quarterback
was going to be like, you know what?
I don't mind having
a better line than the worst line
of all time. Take maybe
$20 million off of what I take.
Go ahead and let's build up the big boys
in front of me so that I can enjoy this
money a little bit more and we can
win. But the NFLPA won't let them do it.
The NFLPA is like, well, if you take less money,
then the next person has to take less money.
You set a bad precedent.
It just becomes something where get it, get it, get it,
get it while you can.
I respect it.
I respect it a lot.
I'm thinking Brady myself.
He's kind of done that, but obviously he has the other income
off the field.
He's already made fucking $400 million or whatever, though.
Yeah, but he never got like the
the super monstrous league leading deal he never took one of those he doesn't get enough credit
for that either i don't think no he definitely i don't think tom brady gets enough credit for that
six round pick so he's obviously not going to get broken off uh immediately like our first round pick
is going to and he's also now granted he takes the pay cut in a signing bonus instead uh and then he
does take a pay cut.
But Tom Brady doesn't get enough credit for being that guy
because he's so attractive.
He wins so much.
The way he talks probably irritates some people.
Keep going.
When you're at the top of the mountain, though,
people are going to hate you regardless.
He's throwing footballs off of yachts.
He reps for Rolex.
He sells weird chocolate, the TB12, all that stuff.
So there's a lot of things that people are like, oh, this selfish guy.
It's avocado ice cream.
But instead, he doesn't get enough credit for taking less money,
building up the team around him, taking care of his teammates,
and being what it seems like a cool guy.
Vinatieri said that he was a very cool guy with his teammates,
which I respect the hell out of.
James Harrison even said he started to hate Tom Brady
because of how good of a teammate he was.
I mean, James Harrison is not just a regular guy.
You've got to win him over somehow.
James Harrison doesn't like a lot of people, though.
Exactly.
Debo's been around a couple teams, though.
He's at the Bengals, the Steelers, and New England.
So I'm sure.
And Debo doesn't seem like a guy who's scared to say this guy sucks.
Yes, exactly.
And he said he liked Tom Brady.
He said he liked Tom.
Good for Tom, man.
It's nice to be a good guy.
World-class teammate.
Does anybody come out with Russell Wilson and say they like him?
No.
I haven't heard anything.
Hey, it kind of scares you.
It's like draft day.
Kevin Costner.
Nobody was at his birthday party.
Yeah.
If he wasn't spending so much time in pinstripes, then maybe his teammates would come and hang out with him.
I'm not saying that Russell Wilson is not liked by his teammates, but you don't hear a lot of people come out and say that they like him.
No.
Who cares?
Nine or ten wins a year in a Super Bowl in your back pocket.
Who gives a fuck?
I mean, really.
That's the difference between being a suitor for a team and interlocking.
I'm just saying, if you're Russell Wilson and you do have a nice life off the field
and a great thing and you know you're going to get a boatload of money,
I mean, who gives a flip if they say?
By the way, I think every time Russell Wilson gets on a microphone,
he says everything right.
And I think that's why Ty hates him.
Yeah, pretty much. Listen, I've never said Russell Wilson gets on a microphone, he says everything right, and I think that's why Ty hates him. Yeah, pretty much.
Listen, I've never said a bad thing about how he plays.
I think he's incredible.
I can't fucking stand him off the field.
He's just so disingenuous.
There's never any crack or anything like that.
It's always just the by-the-book bullshit,
and that just gets old after a while.
See, I think a guy, though, that does all that
might live up to the expectations of being like Tim Tebow, for instance.
A lot of people probably said the same thing about Tim Tebow.
And then whenever we met Tim Tebow, he's legitimately like that.
And that was a mind-blowing experience.
I wonder if people say that about Russell.
I'll be excited to see.
I'm sure people will tweet us examples.
I'm excited to find out, though, if that is the case,
if his teammates are like, yeah, Russell Wilson is everything that you hear about him.
He's a nice guy, never says anything wrong, works harder than everybody,
and he's an incredible quarterback.
I'm cool with that.
But he just got broken the motherfucker off.
The brink struck that we thought could potentially make a stop at our office.
Didn't.
Blew right by us.
Went all the way to Seattle.
Found the dancing video
of him in Sierra. Got the
GPS location thing.
Backed the motherfucker up and just left the
truck there and left. They didn't dump it.
They just left the truck. Fly back.
See you later. Through the keys. We'll walk.
Show park this bitch. Show park
this Brinks truck for Russell Wilson.
Congratulations to him getting his whole family rich forever.
That's awesome.
And the Giants, four-year deal, by the way.
He still has football after these four years where he can go play for the Giants.
Don't worry.
When Michael Bennett gets back from Hawaii, finds himself,
finds his locker in New England, the Mikes are going to go in front of him
and say, hey, Russell Wilson got paid.
What was it like playing with the kid for the last year?
Oh, my.
And Michael Bennett.
The Bennett brothers are savages.
Savages.
They don't care.
They do not care.
Nope.
They are savages.
Especially Michael.
Didn't he fucking, like, body some lady in a wheelchair?
Oh, yeah.
And he got off.
Hey, by the way, that was all a misunderstanding.
Those charges were dropped.
We did all with the Bennett brothers on the bad side of this show.
Now that you mention it about the Michael Bennett thing, it got me thinking, and
I do remember there was some talk back
a while ago when the Legion of Boom
was there in full force, and being like a real
offensive and defensive split
in Seattle in terms of the
power struggle and the locker room there.
Now, I will say that that
is a normal thing. Not a normal
thing, but some teams have
had success with that. The Bears, right?
The 85 Bears or whatever?
It is a story about how much the offense hated the defense
and how the coaches even hated it.
Who is it?
Robert?
Buddy Ryan.
Buddy Ryan.
Dicka.
Dicka.
Hated each other.
So as long as you can get on the field and play well.
Because they are two different teams.
I mean, they're two different teams.
The offense practices with the offense defense practices with the
defense uh meets with the defense eats with the defense eats with the off the offense eats with
the offense the only time many of them come together is for special teams that's why i felt
like i was pretty good little piece of her locker hey boys hey boys hey what just happened out there
man you just fought old buddy over here.
Hey, you lost that fight for sure, but are we going to actually talk about this or what?
I felt like that was a big role that I had to have in the locker room.
So you were a counselor?
No, not a counselor.
I was just a guy that I felt like I got along with people on both sides,
strictly because special teams is the only time where offense and defense is together on a very regular basis.
And, I mean, I was a pretty vocal human. A good moderator.
Not bad. You've got to bring light to those
types of situations. Or you get people showing
up with guns in a locker room because they're
down a $10,000 bet or $80,000
bet. Who was that? Gilbert?
Yeah, Gilbert Arenas.
By the way, he's in the Big Three now.
Good for him. Still a league.
Good for them. A lot of people would have thought
that would have failed immediately, like the AFL.
No, no.
Ice Cube is a business genius.
That guy really is a mogul.
That's what he's doing.
He does.
I mean, he also cashed out in Straight Outta Compton, I believe, as well.
I like that he wrote in Straight Outta Compton in the movie about him writing other movies in Straight Outta Compton.
I like that he was like, these motherfuckers better recognize, too.
You got knocked the fuck out.
Yeah, I wrote that, too.
And by the way, my son's playing me.
Who looks exactly like me.
He does.
I like that Straight Outta Compton movie a lot.
It's good.
Made me feel good.
They're making a Tupac one, right?
I assume every year. They already did. All eyes on me a lot. It was good. Made me feel good. They're making a Tupac one, right? I assume every...
They already did.
All eyes on me.
It wasn't as good.
Okay.
So, Bohemian Rhapsody is getting credit for this.
Straight Outta Compton should probably get credit for the music movie boom, right?
I mean, they've always done it.
It's been around for years.
It's just like some of them aren't very good and some of them end up being like not box
office movies.
So, you're probably right in the sense that it deserves a little more credit than it's getting yeah because everybody's like oh
bohemian rhapsody now and john's doing it i think the beatles they'll do one eventually
they're netflix one molly crew yeah yeah the dirt thing yep i forget who i talked to somebody said
it was their favorite movie somebody said straight face right to my face said it was better than
bohemian rhapsody would you watch a beatles movie anyone i mean it. Straight face right to my face said it was better than Bohemian Rhapsody. Would you watch a Beatles movie, anyone?
It depends.
Depends how they did it.
If they had four actors,
playing John, playing Ringo.
That one guy died, Paul McCartney.
Switcheroo.
There's an old John one coming too.
That looks like shit.
What about Paul McCartney?
The actual Paul McCartney's dead.
I've heard those rumors about Abbey Road and all that stuff.
Well, it's not a rumor.
What do you mean he's dead?
He just played a concert in Dubai.
No, no, no. That's the other one.
That's the new one.
Paul McCartney, too.
Well, he's doing a hell of a job because he sounds like a lot like him.
Yeah, he's got pipes, I mean, for sure.
He's the real Paul, man.
Rest in peace?
No, I mean, who's ever played the...
Who's ever Paul McCartney?
Props to you, dude. You're still doing it.
You're almost 80 years old. Should pour some of that Pro-Pal
out for him. And he's a lefty.
He's a lefty. Okay, so here's a question. If you're
a musician and you're making a movie, do you want to do it the way
Eminem and 50 Cent did it with 8 Mile?
Oh, I forgot about 8 Mile!
Or do you want to do it like how Bohemian Rhapsody
did it, where it's like a more true,
not totally true, creative liberty with some things.
But which would you prefer?
I don't know.
I'm going to assume that my life is going to be a movie at some point.
Honestly.
I assume my life is going to be a movie at some point.
Netflix?
Straight to video?
What kind?
What are you talking about?
Straight to fucking DVD.
Straight to DVD.
I've been there, man.
You butt-ass. trade the dvd dark waters oh man that's awesome i just thought about that i assume my movie or my life will be
a movie at some point just because how ridiculous it is you. My family, just everything about it is very much a great story.
And I haven't really thought about how it should go.
And that's the only way I can look at it.
If a story of our company was going to be told,
I think I would want to get the background on each person
because I think that's a big deal.
So you've got to show them as kids and then kind of show one time frame, which is kind of
what Bohemian Rhapsody, they show just one
time frame as opposed to the entire
revolution. I think that's probably the way
to do it. So more pivotal events
you talk about during this time,
like a big event. I don't know, that's interesting.
It's 20 years down the road.
I'm not going to make it. No, 20 years
down the road and then boom, cast your kid
to play you.
Coming out of WVU with the boomstick.
My kid?
My kid... Your kid O'Shea.
My kid's going to suck.
O'Shea McAfee.
My kid is going to suck.
He's going to be a nightmare.
Unless you name him Atlas.
Matt Matron came in the office today, and he told me a story about how he had to deal with his 13-year-old son.
And how it was a wild situation, how he had to deal with his 13-year-old son and how it was a wild situation how he had to deal with his son.
His son, like, tried him basically for the first time.
Matt Matrone, one of the toughest people.
I would say one of the toughest people walking this earth.
He's in the top half percent of humans walking.
It's probably even higher than that.
Top tenth of a percent of toughest humans walking this earth.
Did you show him fight film?
And you got your son walking up to you, like trying you,
and he said he was standing with his fists like he was about to fight me.
And he said, I was trying so hard not to laugh in his face.
He said he had to use it as a teaching moment.
He was like, you lied to me.
I called you out on lying to me.
Now you want to fight me.
That's not how real men talk. If you want to be. I called you out on lying to me. Now you want to fight me. Like, that's not how real men talk.
Like, if you want to be a real man,
like, you got to accept the responsibilities
of being a real man.
You lied to me.
You're getting grounded.
So that's how it works.
You're not going to fight me.
What are you going to do?
You're going to fight me?
And I guess the kid was like, yeah.
Like, he was like squaring up with me, you know?
And I was like, so did you just bring out your phone
and like show you kicking a Russian guy to dick or what?
He was like, uh. Does he know what you do for a living? He was like, no. He just bring out your phone and show you kicking that Russian guy to dick? He was like, no, he had a real conversation with him.
And Matt Matreon, whose nickname is The Meathead, talked about how he had to speak to his kid.
And it was like, for me, I was like, man, that's so much pressure.
Because you have to learn this little bag of bones how to be an actual adult.
I'm scared shitless for that.
I am honestly scared shitless for that.
Still, to this day, I'm about to be 32 here on May 2nd.
I'm very scared of that whole thing, so I don't think I'm going to have one, Gorms.
Hey, you know what, at least-
What a reaction!
What a reaction!
Yeah, you got plenty of time.
Maybe I have a test tube, baby, you know what I mean?
Test tube, baby.
A test tube, baby.
No more! A test tube, baby. A test tube baby, you know what I mean? Test tube baby. A test tube baby. No, mom.
A test tube baby.
A test tube baby.
No, dad.
Yikes.
You want me to run in and ask Sam?
You know, she's not the biggest fan of kids either.
So, like, if a group of kids, a slew of children walk into a restaurant we're in,
we're not scared to get that shit to go and get out of there, right? Like, I think
kids ruin things more. I mean, I had a tweet
that went pretty viral about kids being on
an airplane I was on. Like, how come these things are allowed
to travel? I'm not the biggest fan
of children. Kids seem to like me
though. It's a nightmare situation.
I think they can sense that I hate them and they just come
flocking to me like
hey, hey man! I talk to
them like they're adults though. Like, I talk to them like they're adults though. I talk to them like they're adults.
Get away from me. And they laugh.
And I'm like, stop touching me.
Seriously. You're going to give me
sickness. I don't want to.
That's exactly what it is.
Like Phil's kids, for instance.
They're beautiful children. Happy first birthday, by the way,
to Phil's youngest.
Congratulations on a year around the sun.
That's awesome.
Phil is an incredible father.
His kids scare the shit out of me.
And I think they like me a lot.
I don't think they should, though.
Because the way I talk to them is as if they're adults.
And I tell them to leave me alone.
And that's what I'll do with my kid.
And he'll probably end up being a fucking Jeffrey Dahmer.
And I'm scared of that.
I'm very scared of that situation.
Well, you just bring over Mitrione and, you know,
have him teach him a lesson. Bro, imagine
when Mitrione was thinking
when that kid just squared up.
Well, you lift your fucking hands up at least
and cover your face. I mean, at least do that.
I mean, this is going to hurt.
See, I think that's in parenting, though. And I don't think you're going to
be a pushover. Like, I fucking treated
my dad like he was Mitrione. Like, I was never fucking doing anything. You know what I mean't think you're going to be a pushover. Like, I fucking treated my dad like he was Mitri O.
Like, I was never fucking doing anything.
True.
You know what I mean?
True.
Just like Tim McAfee.
Exactly.
Hey, if I get out of line, this guy's going to knock my fucking teeth out.
It's about as simple as that.
Fair and square layer.
But I don't know if you're allowed to these days.
Well, if you're in the comfort of your own home.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because he broke in, right?
Yep.
And that's how you open the movie, too.
You said it.
Tim McAfee driving that truck and then throwing soccer balls at you against the fence.
Taping me to the fence.
That's how you opened it up.
Sam, we were going through Netflix, and there was a movie from back in the day.
It had JT Taylor, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Chevy Chase in it.
Okay.
Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. I can't think of the name, but where they go. Taylor, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Chevy Chase in it. Okay.
Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.
I can't think of the name, but where they go.
It's like a Boy Scout movie.
They go camping.
Yes.
Yeah, great movie.
Yeah, it is.
So it was on either Netflix or movies section.
We were scanning through it, and it popped up, and Sam said the name of the movie.
And I was like, oh, I've seen that.
And Sam was like, really?
I was like, yeah, I've seen that. She was like like, really? I was like, yeah, I've seen that.
She was like, that's incredible.
That would have been something I would have guaranteed that you've never seen before.
And I was like, why is that?
And she's like, well, because you spent your childhood being taped to a fence. And this is kind of what Nick always alludes to.
I didn't do a lot of the kids stuff.
I just don't know how.
I mean, it worked out for you, though.
Now I got bats flying around everywhere.
Yeah, something's moving on the far fence over there, too.
I'm sorry.
I got an eye.
I'm not saying it's a hawkeye, but if something's moving and it's not a tree swaying against the white picket fence, I'm looking.
Could be a coyote.
Could be a deer.
A lot of deer.
We got a nice family of deer here.
Well, that's it.
My backyard became a little bit of a dark paradise out here.
It's gorgeous.
Absolutely a pleasure.
We thought the sun was going to stay out a little bit longer.
It disappeared.
The bats came to play, and we had a blast here.
And there's something crawling in the back by the white picket fence.
I'm telling you I'm seeing something move in your back there.
We're in the woods.
I don't want to talk too much.
There's some acreage here. There's some acreage here at the house. I got a big field talk too much. There's some acreage here.
There's some acreage here at the house.
I got a big field in the back.
Sam's trying to load it up with cows, horses, you name it.
I would like a miniature bucking bull.
Fern and dad.
Say it again.
Fern and dad.
Just flip the first N and the first D.
Dad Fern.
He did. Dan Fernand. He did.
He did.
He flipped it.
You asked.
He did it.
Yeah.
If you drop dead
gun to head right now,
what is the name
of the John Cena movie
where he plays
a full-size bull
in not a miniature
bucking bull?
Fernand dead.
All right.
Are you mentally disabled?
Yes. As he is, but he's a special individual. Fernadad. All right. Are you mentally disabled? Yes.
As he is, but he's a special individual, Zito.
We appreciate you.
If I was to get a miniature bucking bull,
we would name it Fernadad.
Not Ferdinand, obviously.
We would name it Fernadad.
Silent D.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
Silent.
Silent D.
That's not how silent Ds work.
It's like comb.
If we are to get any animals in the back, it would be a miniature bucking bull.
We would name it Fernadad.
Also, another huge announcement.
Sam and I have come to an agreement.
We've come to terms.
Oh, nice.
Here we go.
Okay.
Zito is allowed to read at the wedding.
Let's go.
Congrats, Z.
All right.
So send us two pictures.
What did that cost you? I don't know.
Everything?
You know what? We're not allowed to... A pig?
I feel like we're going to have to get a miniature
bucking bull.
So, send us a picture of what you think the miniature
bucking bull will look like and
on the flip side, what you think
Zito will look like while reading
in front of a pretty large crowd at my wedding.
And you put two pictures of those there.
And it makes us laugh.
Makes Ty Schmidt laugh after he wakes up probably 1, 2 p.m. tomorrow.
You will get some free merch from our store.
We can't thank you enough for foxing with us.
You're the absolute best.
Hashtag endgang.
Hashtag endgame.
Now has a little thing on it.
That's so cool.
Shout out to the inventors doing that.
We'll take them. We'll take them for sure.
And if it trends, taking credit for that as well.
Send us pictures of
Zito reading and also
a miniature bucking bull named Fernadad.
And
aside from that, we can't thank you enough
for listening to this show. Zito's going to
close this thing out with an ad read to practice for the wedding.
And then Ty Schmidt's going to play some music.
And we're so thankful you choose to listen to us.
We're very, very lucky human beings.
I have no clue what the future holds for me, for us.
But I know us as a team, with you on our side, there is no mountain that we can't climb.
There is no struggle that we can't climb. There is no struggle that we can't
overcome. There is
no adversity that we can't crush
because together, as
a team, we are
in
de
vince
vince
ball. de vince vince bull.
Tell you what, didn't know what word was coming out there
when I started the first word there.
Sounded good though. Yeah, but it came together.
We are indivisible. Nope, that's not a word.
That is not a word.
We are... Invincible.
There it is. Take out the the. We are invincible.
That's silent T.
You get it.
Fuck it.
Zito, please.
We have to make some money here with this ad rate.
You got it.
Have you heard about the revolution in online furniture shopping and Joybird?
The company behind it all?
No.
Oh, my gosh.
Joybird believes that you should never settle when it comes to you and your home furnishing.
Okay.
And that you should always have the freedom to be boldly original.
Yeah.
I like that.
From idea to reality, they empower you to create the space and furniture that brings you joy.
That's awesome.
How is it on your home?
Oh, my home is amazing.
The pub has so much Joybird.
Yeah.
I love Joybird, too.
Loads of Joybird. I love Joybird too. Loads of Joybird.
I love Joybird.
It's so joyous around the house
you'd think birds
are chirping everywhere.
With Joybird,
you get one-of-a-kind furniture
made to your unique taste.
Turn your ideas into reality
with hundreds of styles
and options.
Oh, jeez.
From mid-century,
modern to contemporary,
classics,
customizable
in an amazing array of fabric
choices.
From rich, buttery leather and plush leather to every color imaginable.
Wide range of kid and pet friendly upholstery options available.
Oh, yeah.
Free personal design consultants to help nail down your perfect design. Yeah, we used that for the pub. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. Free personal design consultants to help nail down your perfect design.
Yeah, we used that for the pub.
It was awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Nail it down.
Each Joybird piece is made by hand with care and precision,
using high-quality hardwood and responsibly sourced materials
to fit your exact specifications.
Nice.
Limited lifetime. I know. Nice. Limited lifetime.
I know.
Very good word there.
Limited lifetime warranty included.
Wow.
Let me tell you one more thing about this.
Okay.
365 days home trial.
Skip the furniture store and bring the showroom home.
Joybird.
Let's go.
Sit on it, sleep on it, and break it in.
If you don't love your Joybird, return it for a full refund.
It's hassle-free, and in home delivery, they'll even remove all the packaging materials.
That's always actually a big thing for me.
Yeah.
We still have it in our backyards.
Us too, yeah.
Us too, yeah.
Free returns within two weeks delivery.
See how Joybird is revolutionizing online furniture shopping.
Create the furniture that brings you joy
today at joybird.com
backslash McAfee.
Are you sure it's backslash?
Backslash.
I don't know.
Backslash.
It's leaning back.
Is it leaning back?
It's leaning back.
Atta boy, Z.
Atta boy, Z.
Guys, go to joybird.com McAfee
and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code McAfee.
And that is at joybird.com backslash M-C-A-F-E-E.
Let's go!
Let's go, Z.
I just want to let everyone know it's actually forward slash.
Connor, you were cosigning.
As soon as you cosigned, I knew that was wrong.
Shout out to Zito for the good read there.
Some words just kind of all run together there, but that's no big deal.
You get it.
The wedding will love it.
You get it.
Joybird, by the way, shout out to them.
Incredible way to furnish your house.
25% off with a 365-day trial.
You're not going to find that anywhere else.
No.
Joybird.com forward slash McAfee.
Shout out to them. Also,
Ty Schmidt. Yes. Hey, Zito,
you did great. Thank you. Nice job.
For those listening,
Ty Schmidt had to edit out five
attempts there.
Keep our
advertiser there. We love Joybird.
We do love Joybird. We love it.
Joybird's not going to love that.
Either is Sam. Either is Sam. Let out for you guys. Joybird's not going to love that. So if you're buying.
Either is Sam.
Either is Sam.
Let's hope Sam has already bailed out already.
So if you are thinking about buying furniture for the good of the wedding and for Zito.
Thank you.
Please go to joybird.com forward slash McAfee.
25% off.
365 day trial.
Shout out to them.
And shout out to you for listening to this show.
It's been outrageous.
From Gorham's tie, Foxy, Nick.
No drink heaven, motherfucking Connor. That's me. And Zito. It's been outrageous. From Gorms, Ty, Foxy, Nick, no drink having
motherfucking Connor. That's me.
Let's have an incredible weekend. Heartland Radio 2.0
is tomorrow.
Office Championship Wrestling
coming on
next Wednesday at noon.
When I say
the think tank
doesn't always come up with great ideas,
I'd say that's an accurate statement.
Some things get thrown out
that aren't great ideas. Most of mine.
Ladders, you do throw out
a lot of things that we kind of bounce around, but
they lead to bigger and better ideas, so
keep shooting. 15%.
Jumping off a ladder onto a trampoline in front of the Hardy Boys,
aggressive decision.
One of our best ideas, I'd say.
A lot of things could have went wrong there.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Office Championship Wrestling coming on Wednesday.
Just know that we have the devil wrestling against somebody to save Eastern.
What?
OCW.
OCW.
OCW.
OCW.
It's going to be terrible.
But it'll be fun.
Just like Heartland Radio 2.0 tomorrow.
Go around the room.
Real quick.
One spring or summer banger to close this thing out.
We'll pick as a group the best.
Jeffrey Gorman, please.
Could You Be Love, Bob Marley.
Could you be love?
It's screaming summer to me.
And in love.
Yeah.
That is a heater right there.
That's a good one.
I'll tell you what, it's going to be tough to top that.
Foxy, are you anywhere near a microphone?
Best day ever, Mac Miller. Best day ever, Mac Miller. Also a good right there. That's a good one. I'll tell you what, it's going to be tough to top that. Foxy, are you anywhere near a microphone? Best day ever,
Mac Miller.
Best day ever,
Mac Miller.
Also a good song.
Yeah.
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Yep.
Gonna be the best day
ever.
It's a good one.
Ty?
New Kids on the Block,
Summertime.
Oh, okay.
What is that?
I think about you
in the summertime
And all the good times
that we had, baby Been a few years and I can about you in the summertime. And all the good times we had, baby.
Been a few years and I can't deny.
The thought of you still makes me crazy.
I think about you in the summertime.
I'm sitting here in the summertime.
Summertime.
Got to be new kids on the block.
That's a good song.
Nick?
Hooch by Everything.
Who got the hooch?
Who got the hooch?
That's that one, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good song.
That's a good one.
Good call there.
Connor, do you want to hear this?
I was listening to Summertime by Kenny Chesney earlier.
I took a bum-wong.
Very nice.
I took a bum-wong. That is a heater right there. Sum took a bon-won. Very nice. I took a bon-won.
That is a heater right there.
Summertime is finally here.
Boner.
Yeah.
Boner.
I don't think he says that.
It don't park no cars.
It's not down there.
That old ballpark man is back in gear.
There it is.
That's what I was talking about.
Ballpark.
It's about to be Kenny Chesney season.
Oh, yeah.
Spring and summer comes.
It's country.
Kenny Chesney season.
Hey, no shirt, no shoes, no problem.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I've been saying this whole goddamn time.
Save it for a rainy day.
Zito?
I have In the Summertime by Mungo Jerry.
In the summertime.
When the weather is hot.
In the summertime.
In the summertime.
We got winter.
We got winter.
I don't mind.
Yep.
That's a good one.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
I got my toes in the water. Ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand, life is good today.
That's what I got.
I'm a Zach Brown guy.
Yeah.
So I think that Zach Brown bit, Eat and Greet's a genius idea.
That Eat and Greet by them is a genius idea.
Zach Brown, Kenny Chesney, country season is upon us.
Ty Schmidt has to decide which one of those he
ends the show with. Tweet us
and let us know if he did good. Also, send us
pictures of Fernadad and Zito reading
at the wedding. Cheers.
Heartland Radio 2.0 is tomorrow.
Office Championship Wrestling coming Wednesday.
Have an incredible weekend. Happy Easter.
He
will risen.
Because he hasn't yet. He will risen. Yes.
Because he hasn't yet.
Correct.
But he will.
He will on Sunday.
He will rise.
I hope so, man.
A lot of people have been waiting a long time.
I have.
A long, long time.
Gorman, you're a very religious guy, aren't you?
Not really.
Shit will hit the fan if he comes back.
I'm good where I'm at right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today, life is good today
Well the plane touched down just about three o'clock
And the city's still on my mind
Bikinis and palm trees danced in my head
I was still in the baggage line
Concrete cars, they own prison bars like this life I'm living in
But the plane brought me farther, I'm surrounded by water and I'm not going back again
I got my toes in the water
Ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world
A cold beer in my hand
Life is good today
Life is good today
Adios en Valle, Cornelius
Yeah, I'm leaving G.A.
And if it weren't for tequila and pretty seƱoritas
I'd have no reason to stay
Adios en Valle, con Dios
Yeah, I'm leaving G.A.
Gonna lay in the hot sun and roll a big fat one
And grab my guitar and play
The four days flew by like a drunk Friday night
As the summer drew to an end
They can't believe that I just couldn't leave
And I bid adieu to my friends
Cause my bartender, she's from the islands
Her body's been kissed by the sun
And coconut replaces the smell of the
bar, and I don't know if it's her or the rum, I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand,
not a worry in a world of cold beer in my hand, life is good today, life is good today. Adios and via con Dios. A long way from G.A. Yes, and all the
muchachos, they call me Big Papa when I throw pesos their way. Adios and via con Dios. A way adios envioconils a long way from GA
someone do me a favor and pour me some Jager and I'll grab my guitar and play Adios and bye, conmigo
Going home now to stay
The seƱoritas don't care when there's no dinero
I got no money to stay
Adios and bye, con Dios
Going home now to stay
Just gonna prop up by the lake
And put my ass in a lawn chair, toes in the clay
Not a worry in the world, a PBR on the way
Life is good today
Life is good today