The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 067 - Incredible Insight From An NFL War Room On Draft Day With Chris Ballard

Episode Date: April 25, 2019

On today’s show, Pat and the guys are joined by friend of the show, and General Manager of the Indianapolis Colts, Chris Ballard. They chat about his draft day strategy in terms of what types of players the Colts plan to go after, whether or not they will be trading the 3rd round pick that Pat is supposed to announce, what he makes of the Gruden situation with clearing scouts out of the war room, and answers whether or not he’s a top need or best available guy in an incredible interview into the NFL draft process (4:!6-24:31). The guys also discuss the night that was OCW: Straight to Hell and all the madness behind it, how the guys put it together, and they relive some of their favorite moments, and look ahead to next week’s installment. The guys also discuss Ben Roethlisberger’s new massive contract and how Yinzers are presumably feeling about it, Pat talks a little about being cursed after the Vegas Golden Knights blew a 3-0 lead to the San Jose Sharks, and Pat decides to place a few locks on some other NHL teams as the Stanley Cup playoffs keep rolling on. Be sure to tune in to either ESPN or the NFL Network on Friday night to watch Pat announce the Indianapolis Colts’ 3rd round selection live from Nashville, it should be memorable. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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slash p a t thirty dollars off let's get to this conversation with a general manager of the National Football League. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now from a cell phone somewhere in Indianapolis is a man with a southern draw, a handsome face, and a brain that cannot be matched. He's going into his second draft as general manager of an NFL team. Last year, he was being touted as a genius as his picks went on to be all pros after all pros. We'll dive deep into his draft strategy, maybe his pre-draft rituals. And ladies and gentlemen, the man that's been tasked by Jim Irsay

to rebuild the Indianapolis Colts into by Jim Irsay to rebuild the Indianapolis Colts into a dynasty, general manager of the Indianapolis Colts, handsome Chris Ballard. Thanks. Every time I need to feel good about myself, I need to come on this show. Hey, I agree completely. You can come on this show anytime you would like, Chris. Let's get right into it. We're recording. Hey, and look, and you want to know what a special privilege is? This is only like the third time I've ever used my office phone. Oh, hey. We got the hard wire.

I like that. Let's take a trip back to 1990 real quick. Chris? Where are y'all at? Are y'all in Nashville? No, not yet. I'm traveling down there on Friday. Let's get right to it.

I am delivering the third round draft pick for your Indianapolis Colts. If you trade it, I will fucking hate you forever. We will not keep you in suspense, and we will make sure that you get to make a good pick. Okay. That means a lot. That means a lot. That means a lot. Let's dive into this draft strategy. Do you want me to tell you who it is?

Yes. I was just about to say to you, everybody's lying to everybody about everything that happens around the draft. So with that being said, if you were to tell us a few players that you are very high on, nobody would believe you anyways. What is your draft strategy and process going into this weekend's draft? We're going to draft Marlon Mack in the third.

You can tweet it out. There was some asinine stat that got out that said you and your crew watched like 17,000 hours of film or something like that. That sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. How's that even possible? So the, so it's always funny how things get misconstrued. We said seven, I said, since we moved into building, we've watched 1700 hours of tape. Um, that's how long, uh, we've been in that draft room in terms of watching tape. Um, and that's since last August.

So if you add it up, it's spread out. It's not since January, it's since August. But, no, we've watched a lot of tape. I mean, you think of the whole month of February, the whole month of March, and then every day but Easter, we've been in that film room working. And, you know, we just keep re-watching guys. I mean, our process is, I mean, I learned this from John in Kansas City. I mean, we just keep combing through every player. And it's funny because when you watch a player

and you really dialed in on a certain group of players, and if you watch, I can watch the same tape three different times and see three different things. You just keep seeing the little things that you need to see. And by the time we get to now, we got a pretty good feel of what we're drafting. I did that with the movie Semi-Pro. You're too young to know the movie Semi-Pro. No, no, no. Jackie Moon is obviously a legend.

What about North Dallas 40? Have you ever seen North Dallas 40? No, I have no idea. Is that the one where they're taking steroids right in the locker room? Is that the- No, it's- No. Nick Nolte was in it?

No, I don't know. Nick Nolte. You've never seen North Dallas 40? It's a good one. I've never watched a Disney movie. That's un-American if you've never seen North Dallas 40. That's one of the great all-time football movies. I'll put it in tonight just in preparation of the NFL draft.

Speaking of, we are one night before the first round of your second NFL draft kicks off. Do you have any pre-draft rituals? This is your Super Bowl. This is your scouting department's time to shine. Has all those hours of film been worth it or not? We will find out in August and September, I guess, maybe a couple years down the road. But what are some pre-draft rituals the night before?

What are you doing here? Well, we just got out of about a three-hour meeting. We go around the room one more time with our scouts and give them a chance. I said, okay, rounds one through three, I'll go, you know, each person around the room, give me the one guy you want on our team that's going to make an impact and do everything the way we want it done. And I give them a chance to, you know, kind of give their last talk on the player

that they're pushing for. And we do it rounds one through three, and then rounds four through seven. And then we talk through scenarios in the first round. You know, what can happen? What if, what if, you know, disaster happens? Who are we taking? Every player that we had targeted, which can happen. I mean, you've got to be ready for every scenario. So worst case scenarios, disaster happens, who are we taking? Who's going to be the best player for our team and for our locker room? I always love hearing the story of Reggie Wayne when Bill picked Reggie Wayne. I mean, I think they had other players targeted and they all went and Reggie Wayne was

the best player on the board. They really didn't have a need at wide out at the time and they took Reggie Wayne and the rest is history. So I think you got to stay consistent to how you have them stacked. We've worked a lot of hours doing it and we'll give our scouts their last say today. Then I'll get in there with Mr. Ursae and Frank here this afternoon and walk through kind of what we're thinking, and then we'll get out of here. It's a night to get rest, and, you know, as soon as I'm done with Mr. Ursae and Frank, we get out of here by, you know, 4 or 5 o'clock and go spend some time with the family and relax. Brother, I just bought that piano. Did you fucking see that?

relax brother i just bought the piano did you fucking see um how vital are those local and regional scouts because obviously i don't want you to comment about any other team situation but the whole world knows about what the oakland raiders have done with their local and regional scouts so that no leaks get out. They've shipped them out of the building and basically locking them out. How vital is that team of yours? And also, do you have the utmost trust in anybody you let in that room not to let anything out? Because the snakes are snakes in the high grass. You can't see them all the time.

No, you can't. And that's a big look. I mean, I think one of the things we're really proud of here is, and I learned this from Coach Reed in Kansas City and John, I mean, if you're in this building, we trust you. And we have this talk with everybody in the building, you know, especially in football, from day one. If you're in this building, you are trusted, and information does not get out of this building. And if it does, you're not going to be here. And it's pretty black and white in our world.

And I have a lot of trust with all of our scouts. To me, how do you get to the truth? How do you get to be the best you can be without everybody's input and them challenging you? I mean, that was one of the last things, you know, I told our scouts today is how much, one, I appreciated their work. I appreciate their honesty and I appreciate their willingness to challenge when they don't agree and challenge me, challenge Frank, challenge each other. I don't have all the answers. I don't. And you never know when the one guy in the room

is going to give you something that sparks something in your mind that makes you think a little bit differently. So they know they're trusted. They know that information can't, the information is the key to the draft. I mean, it just, it is whoever at the end of the day, whoever has the best information, um, and, and is right on that information usually does well in the draft. So we keep it all close to the vest and we keep it internally, but I have a strong trust in them, and their work is vital. Our scouts are the eyes and ears of this organization.

I've always believed that. I was a scout for 11 years on the road, and my old boss, Jerry Angelo, always preached that. And he put a lot of trust in us. And I put a lot of trust in our scouts to do that. And we could not have a successful team without the work they do, the work that they put in during the fall and the information they gather. That is our information.

And it is critical that they're right. We are not able to move forward and have successful drafts and have successful teams without their work. That's incredible leadership by you. I mean, it's obviously that a good environment is built there. Whenever you trust somebody, by the way, they're more likely to not fuck up because they feel as if they would let you down if that's the case. I think you can kind of build a tumultuous culture if you don't trust people.

I think that's incredible. If there ever comes a time where you need to find a leak, you can do what Kim Kardashian did where she would leak fake baby names to different friends and write them down and then see which ones got out and then boom, eliminated. That's something to think about. Kim Kardashian's a lawyer.

We all know she's smart. In the war room tomorrow, you'll have, you'll be surrounded and flanked by the entire team. Jim Mercer will be in there. His squad will be in there. His friends, his millionaire friends will be around there.

Will you go in there like eating? Will you go in there nervous? Or is it like game day, completely focused and relaxed? Like what is your take on the war room and draft day um well i mean we have fun i mean i watch kevin costner it's a pretty loose uh it it's it's loose but it's also focused and dialed in on what needs to get done um you know are there butterflies it's no different than on game day uh Uh, you know, you get 16 weeks to play and then the playoffs, when you get in, um, it's no different than those game days. We've, we practiced, we've done all the work. I mean, to me, you're, you're nervous

when you're not prepared. Um, we're prepared. Um, so do we have butterflies and more of anticipation, but not nervousness a nervous feeling that we're not prepared no we're we're prepared we have fun it's loose um there's music playing um we have a good time i mean it's one of the things i mean why why do what we do it's too hard um if you're not going to enjoy each other and have fun during the process. Doesn't mean we don't work. No, we work and we're focused, but we're going to enjoy ourselves during this time. We joke, we have fun, we make fun of each other. We bust balls and you better be able to handle it and they bust mine as hard as I bust theirs. So draft day's fun. It is.

Do you, is there, I just thought of Jim Irsay with a guitar. I just thought of him playing like a $2 million guitar. Hey there, Chris. Don't fuck up this pit. Will there be a time where a team will draft somebody that you put a red flag on or a black flag on and they draft them and you're like uh suckers like that's uh like we we like you unearth some fact about that player that somebody else did that you get like some real gratification uh out of or something like that well i mean always like it when they go in front of us and drop a player to

us i mean that's always a good feeling um but saying that i got a lot of good friends in the league and and uh do we share information no um but i want good for them too so do some teams that now there's certain teams when they take one i just you know you give a little smile okay good we're okay playing against that guy um that's exactly what I thought. I'll tell you this. They do it. It goes both ways now. I just remember last year everybody criticizing, you know,

a lot of the picks we took and where we took them at. I mean, at the end of the day, you've got to play. They've got to play. They've got to prove it. So I ignore the noise. And when guys are taken and I don't really, at the end of the day, I really don't care what people think about our draft at the time we drafted them. I care more into the season when they're playing. That's when the real proof comes out.

Do you give a single damn about Mel Kiper, McShay, or anybody else on TV that has any of those picks. Do you have any care or worry at all about the information that they're leaking, knowing that they could potentially have an inside source at another team? Do you even think, you know what, this guy doesn't suck as bad as this guy with his sources. He might have a little piece of information that we can utilize in this big poker game, this chess match that is the draft. I'll say this about both of them because they both are really good at their jobs and they work really hard at it. Do I listen to it? No. Do I pay attention though? So the one thing I said this other day in a press conference, that the scouting world has gotten really flat.

And what I mean by that is there's so many eyes on players from outside of the building that it's harder to find the sleeper player than it was 10 years ago. So these top 100 lists that comes out, they're pretty accurate. It doesn't tell you where a guy's going to go, but it's going to tell you who the top 100 players are in the draft. And there's a, I think most of them, you know, you'll get some 70, 75%, but the really good ones are going to get up 80 85 and some up to 89 so you're talking they're getting 89 of the top 100 players um you know going into draft it does that can help you maneuver a little bit but at the end of the day we do our work if we like a guy we're going to i

mean we did it with brayden and we did it with Braden and we did it with Leonard last year. You know, no one else had him ranked as high. We just took him. There are guys, and if we're not going to be cute and if we're in a spot where I don't think we can move back or we're really driven from the player, we're just going to take him and make him Colts and watch him play. Are you best available or need?

make them Colts and watch them play. Are you best available or need? I think it depends on if the talent is that much better. So if we're looking at a player that is ranked on that board a lot higher than the need, we're always going to take the better player. then the need, we're always going to take the better player. And if they're even, then we'll take the need. If they're even and one guy has exemplary character, we'll take the character. So I think there's a couple different scenarios there where you've got to look at it. But I was taught a long time, don't ever pass up a great.

If you think the guy's a great player and he fits your culture, don't pass him up. And I don't care if you have a guy at the position. Take him. You just take him and you figure out a way to work. It's Reggie Wayne all over. You know, just take him. Take Reggie Wayne.

Why wouldn't you? Yeah. Hindsight. I think that's probably a smart move. I think that worked out pretty good. I mean, I've never talked to him, but he was a great football player um all right i can't wait to watch you work chris ballard is there a moment of celebration for the regional scout or local scout who did his used car salesman pitch to you today about a player and you draft that person is there like

a celebration is that him hitting a home run, uh, basically in the long run of the whole thing? It's, um, they, there's a definite, so sitting in their chair as long as I did. Um, I mean, you think about it, you're, you're scouting, you know, each guy's anywhere from two 50 to 400 players, depending on their area. And with a chance to get one of nine guys drafted. We have nine picks right now. Hopefully, who knows, we might end up with eight. We might end up with 12. If I'm a betting man, I'd say we end up with 12.

Okay, let's keep that third-round pick. Let's keep that third-round pick. What if we get three third-round picks? Do you get to make every? I think so. Hey, hey, let's just go ahead and see if that fucking happens or not.

But there's a great deal of satisfaction in getting one of your guys drafted. Like I tell our guys, you just got to be right. I said, when we draft your guy, we got to be right.

We can't be wrong. Chris, you talked about being prepared as far as watching film and then the doomsday scenario if your targets go off the board. Do you prepare with mock GM calls from other teams as far as trade offers and stuff like that of things that you think may happen in the draft situation? Yeah, we do.

Yeah, absolutely. We talk about guys we'd move up for if they get in a certain range, one where we'd have to give up the third-round pick. We've talked about that a bunch. Come on! Answer the question. But, no, we do. And then we talk about, all right, let's say, you know,

who is this team just looking? Our pro scouts do an unbelievable job putting needs together for other teams. And then we'll look, all right, who needs what? If we move back, how does that affect the guy we want? And then if somebody in front of us needs the same type of player, do we need to move up? And if we're both targeting the same player, getting up and getting in front of that team. So yeah, we've worked through that ad nauseum here the last week. I've been told a couple times that Bill Pullian actually traded up in the seventh round of the Philadelphia Eagle with the Philadelphia Eagles

because the Steelers were going to pick me up to kick, actually, field goals. So I bet you. There you go. Yeah, so there's actually been conversations that were like, oh, these people might take him to do this. Let's trade up in front of them. And that's a magical moment. Final question, and this is a really important one,

so I would like you to think it through. If one of your top prospects had a birthday party and none of his teammates went, would you still draft him? Being a good teammate, fitting in, having a good teammate, fitting in, having a growth mindset, willing to grow, those are all very important qualities to us.

I'd have to know the complete circumstances of why teammates didn't go. That'd be something we would dig heavily into before we made the decision. Kevin Costner chose not to draft a guy. Strictly because. Quarterback. Quarterback. Then he traded all of his picks and got them

all back within the span of about 30 minutes. Why don't you have that type of draft tomorrow? Ladies and gentlemen, the draft begins tonight on NFL Network. I can't wait to watch

all the GMs go to work. No matter what team you're pulling for, a lot of hope can be brought to your city tonight. Chris Ballard's going to make magic happen yet again. Congrats to him in advance.

And so thankful you came on. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Ballard. Thank you, man. Appreciate you guys. Thank y'all. Hey, thank you, dude. All right, man. Appreciate you guys. Thank you all. Hey, thank you, dude. All right, brother.

I'll talk to you here Friday. Hey, listen, if you have to trade that pick, you trade that pick. You just text me beforehand and be like, hey, man. Okay. I'm going to wait and let you go up to the stage. All right, cheers, man. All right, what? When it's time to make a hire for your small business,

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That's linkedin.com slash McAfee and get $50 off your first job post. That's linkedin.com slash McAfee. Terms and conditions apply. Imagine if NFL players had a LinkedIn. They do. It's called the combine. Oh, I didn't get invited

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LinkedIn.com Slash McAfee Get get 50 off your first job post he's so good really really good every time i tell you and obviously the the colts hold a very near and dear place in my heart jim ursay has transformed my and my family's life and all of your lives in turn. I like the Colts a lot. I'm a big fan of them. I got a lot of friends that work in the building, all that stuff. But the GM, that guy is an impressive individual. Every time we talk to him, I get so much more impressed.

He opened up to us there without giving anything away, right, without spoiling our relationship and ruining anything. He gave us a lot of information there and you heard him you heard him he said he's going to keep that third round draft pick and also it almost sounded like he alluded to a potential trade out of the first round maybe he had some third round picks yeah yeah maybe two or three times well because that's what he said he said i would lean more on the 12 picks rather than the eight picks or whatever he said so So maybe Chris is just waiting to get out of the first round, maybe the second round. I don't know.

All we know is he needs to be in that motherfucking third round. And for the first year ever, it's going to be on ABC as well this year. ABC, ESPN, NFL Network. Except for I don't think I want to watch the ABC one because I saw a commercial for it the other night. And it seems very – what's the music show? What are you, The Judge? American Idol. American Idol.

It seems very American Idol-ish. They're going to do a lot of touchy-feely backstories. Everything does that now. Shark Tank's even doing that. Oh, yeah. I think I'm going to stay away from that one. I understand that probably draws more people in, but Shark Tank, I think that's just a ruthless thing, man. come on like we just want to hear about the business but they're doing

the backstories now it's like i used to love american idol american idol obviously it became that and then america's got talent same thing america's got talent because those tryouts whenever they completely fail i want to be able to laugh at them i want to be able to say you suck without being like oh you know what i I wish they would have done better. You know what I mean? Like, that's a whole part of the whole thing. You know what I'm saying? I think he's still going to laugh at himself.

You're a terrible person. I know. I think, I'm not sure, obviously not sure 100%, but that's how, like, the music and how they lined it up for the ABC commercial was. I don't think I like it. Well, let's assume that on Friday night they're not going to put me on ABC. I'm probably going to be on the ESPN and NFL Network.

Probably the NFL Network. So you're going to have to find me, but it's going to be a good time. That is a good point, though. Everything's becoming that back story, sad story, sob story. Just because people are suckers for it. Look for the saddest thing. Well, it's because those videos probably do well on the internet. Oh, yeah, sure.

They're touching, which, by the way, I didn't watch a single Disney movie growing up. Some people would say that's why I don't have many feelings. But those videos do get me every time. They get me every single time. Oh, you got feelings. Yes, exactly. Look at you.

It's weird. You got feelings. I'll start feeling. I'm like, oh. I'm like, look at that, man. Little squirrel didn't need to. Just a D-O-G. I'm like, look at that, man. Little squirrel didn't need to... Just a deer. I'm sorry.

I was laughing earlier about Zito. In my head, I had Zito going on Shark Tank trying to sell something. It just hit me. I would love to see it. Okay, so I got a couple of challenges here I would like. Okay. I'd like Todd to solve a murder mystery.

There you go. Okay, I would like that to happen within the next 365 days. Okay. I would like Diggs happen within the next 365 days. I would like Diggs to trend in sorority Twitter within the next week. The next week. Yeah, so if you see very interesting tweets coming from Diggs, just know it's for one reason.

No judgment, right? Yeah, no judgment. No judgies. No judgies. No, because we talked about Diggs went viral in sorority Twitter like three times last year, and it became like his niche. We're just on the same page. We saw him trying to get into it a couple of times, and then he kind of quit on his dreams.

And I just want you to know, no judgment here. If you get viral in sorority Twitter again, we'll give you something of some sort. No judgment here. It had been a little bit, so a couple weeks ago, I tried going in there again with a conditioner tweet. It didn't.

I think I'm off my game. If the first four or five fall flat, just know there's one in there. Listen, you got a week. You got one week. No judges, okay? And if you would like to help Diggs do this, please send him any concepts

Or thoughts or ideas Old Diggs trending in sorority twitter Is one of my favorite Diggs's Just because he comes in peacocking So fucking hard He walks into this office Like he just literally cured cancer It is a beautiful thing

And I'm pulling for you Good pull on the conditioner You know when you're in there because the numbers start ticking up a little bit, but that's not even the thing. You'll see who's like, and it's all fucking like blonde pictures coming up there and I'm like, I'm in it. I'm in it. Here we go. Let's watch this thing

go. And then every once in a while you'll get a couple haters and everybody will bury the haters and you're like, well, what a wild ride this has been. I'm excited for you to get back in there. It's the best. Wait until you see what I fire off this week. Are we starting from today until next Thursday? Yeah, until next Thursday. So I got the weekend.

We'll make the announcement next Thursday. I wasn't going to drink this weekend, but now I have to, because then that's when the sorority brain really starts kicking in. I had a couple woo-woos last night. And Zito, I think you should try to think of a business concept to get on Shark Tank. Oh, I'd love it. I'll go in with you, but you're the lead speaker.

Can we have Nick make a new friend? Like one new friend. Nick has to make a new friend or something. I'm all set. And I think you have to bring new friend into office, and you have to hang out with new friends. No, because then you guys are going to yell at me. Hey, Nick, where's your friend going? What's he doing out here?

Well, if he's a friend of yours, I would assume that you trust him. We just talked to Chris Bauer about that. If he's a friend, you trust him. I don't trust anyone. Well, that's what we're talking about, though. A new friend. I'm trying to change you in that way. You need one person you can trust.

Hey, Nick, I'll be your friend. I trust myself. There it is. That a boy. That's it. Hey, me too, by the way. He ignored your friend request. He just fucking declined.

Didn't even acknowledge it. That's when you just let sit in the queue so he doesn't know. He just fucking declined. That's when you just let sit in the queue so he doesn't know. I'm in at least 50 people's bullpens when it comes to friend requests. I'm not worried about that. Here's a guy I'd like to be friends with. Ben Roethlisberger just signed a fucking deal, bro. Justin Tucker, by the way, congrats on getting the bag, cuz. Very happy for him.

Young stud can kick the hell out of a football. Just got broken off for the brand. Very, very happy for Justin Tucker. He's a guy that deserves every dollar you're going to give him. And everybody might be mocking it on the internet that isn't Ravens fans, but Ravens fans know why he's making what he's making right there. I'm excited to see what he buys with it. That's all I'm interested by is whenever people get this shit, what they buy.

Because I've got a list of things. I've got a list. As soon as I've got a little bit of cash, before I even got the cash, I bought the Escalade just immediately. I'm like, yep, here we go. I'm assuming there's a list of things. I'm excited to see what he does with it. Good for Justin Tucker. But let's get back to Ben Roethlisberger.

He's getting, what, $62 million guaranteed or something? $31.5 a year. So $63 million he's guaranteed he's getting, and then $30 million in injury guarantee. So if he gets hurt right now, he's getting $30 million? Correct. So Ben Roethlisberger can do whatever the fuck he wants right now, and he's getting $30 million. No Lloyds of London contract.

No Antonio Brown. Oh, sorry about that. Well, I mean, I think this is kind of what they had to do, by the way. Whenever they decided to get rid of everybody that was having issues with Ben Roethlisberger, just like Russell Wilson in Seattle, right? They got rid of everybody on the defense that hated Russell Wilson. So you make your bed. Now you're going to sleep in it.

Ben Roethlisberger, a little bit of an older gentleman here. They did the same thing. They got rid of anybody that had problems with Roethlisberger, paid him massively. And how do the Yenzers feel about it? He'll be the third highest quarterback in the league. Okay. Which I guess he deserves because he's been underpaid throughout his career. If you look at his numbers, like he was making like 20 last year when other people were making in the 30s. I would have liked since it's definitely his last career

or his last contract in Pittsburgh, he's going to play this season and then two more, I would have loved to have seen him take in the mid-20s or something like that, maybe to say, you know, this is your last contract, this is your last chance to get another Super Bowl, maybe take $6 million less per year. That's two really good players, by the way. Yes, which is not going to hurt. He's made enough over his career that that's not going to drastically affect his life.

But I wish he would have done something like that. But I understand why the team had to pay him, why they did that, if that's what he wanted. Because without Ben Roethlisberger, they're four or five weeks. Maybe he did. Maybe they were going to give him $37 million a year. And he said, I'll keep six. Maybe they were going to give him $37 million a year. And he said, I'll keep six.

We don't know. We don't know what was happening behind closed doors. That is very, very true. So I would have liked for him to take less, but I understand why it happened and how it happened and it needed to happen. So it is what it is. Ben Roethlisberger, elite quarterback on the football field. Yes, hate him off. As a Pittsburgh person, I've said it for years and years and years,

I hate him off the field. But on the field, he's number seven, and I fucking love him there. Do you think there was a clause like, hey, man, we're going to pay you now. You can't be doing your little local radio shows where you just dump everybody else on the team. I would hope he would have learned a little bit after this offseason. Yeah, but he's in year, like, 45. Isn't it time to learn that like 10 years ago?

And he also has every single person blocked on Twitter, including me for some reason. You probably liked the tweet that said something about him. That's why I used to do that, by the way. People would tweet me something bad, and then I would block that person. And then whoever liked it, you agree with them, huh? All right, you're blocked too.

How about that? I'm with you. Yeah, that's a good move. Now you can just mute these people, though, Gorman. No, no, no, no people though no no no no bring out the sickle baby pat here's a question for you um having played in the league for as long as you did um those that elite number of quarterbacks who can always manage to win you seven or eight games by themselves are they worth paying whatever it takes to keep them yeah absolutely because you don't know who's going to do what. I mean, Baker Mayfield, obviously incredible. But Rosen didn't do what Baker Mayfield could do for a team.

I'm not saying Rosen is a bad quarterback. I'm just saying he didn't get on the game, on the field, and it just become an electric factory and win games for them. Baker Mayfield literally did that, though. So it's hard to find that type of guy. Yeah, they're unique animals. And whenever you're the guy pulling the trigger up there the general manager not the owner but the general manager your whole entire livelihood lives and dies on whether or not your team wins and if there's a

quarterback like Colbert by the way oh I have a quarterback here that is going to win for us helps me keep my job yeah helps everybody in here keep their Tomlin's going to keep his job because Ben's going to do things all the coaches are going to keep their jobs because Ben, that's just an easy thing for them to do. Like, yeah, let's just pay this fucking guy instead of rolling the dice on somebody new because you really never know what's going to happen. Ben is an elite quarterback on the football field.

I've only had issues with the way he treats his teammates. That's the only thing I've ever, and I, because I take a lot of pride in the locker room and how you should act in there. That's a huge thing for me. So I've always had big question marks around that. But I think on the field, he was never treated with the amount of respect

that he deserves by media, by other teams. By the way, I said in team meetings, whenever they went through the entire how we're going to stop the team we're about to beat, like, okay, this is how we're going to stop the Pittsburgh Steelers. That running back is insane. We're going to stop Lev Bell, and then we're going to win the game. And then i would i would just look at vinitaria and be like do you think what i'm thinking that fucking quarterback

can really throw the football in place and what would he do he'd go throw for 500 yards against us literally 500 yards he would throw against us he doesn't get much of the respect because he doesn't carry himself he doesn't he's not big into fitness he really gives no fucks he doesn't carry himself. He's not big into fitness. He really gives no fucks. He doesn't give a damn about much. But on the field, he is incredible. And I think he's worth every dollar. Yeah, and I think because Colbert definitely realizes that the window is closing with Ben and to win a championship. And then Le'Veon's money that they offered him to pay $15 million a year

for the next four or five years or whatever is off the books. They had that planned out. And then A.B.'s money coming up, not this season because they have to pay for him still, but the season after is off the books. So you that planned out. And then A.B.'s money coming up, not this season because they have to pay for him still, but the season after is off the books. So you might as well pay Ben, keep him, and then move forward in the future and see what happens. Now, Granny, you're going to have to pay Juju.

Correct. You're going to have to pay James Conner. You're going to have to pay some people on the defense. Those two are like two, three years away when Ben's going to be done. That entire draft, him, Watt, DJ Watt. All three of those are going to be paid when Ben's done. Because what Chris Ballard said

that whenever you have all that money you're going to have to take care of your own people at some time. You better start preparing for that. I'm really excited for the draft here. It's an exciting time. I'm excited to get there on Friday night and do a little chit chat. I'm excited to see what team gets better. What team shakes it up a little

bit too? Kyler Murray has arrived in Nashville. Mike Florio said on tuesday that cliff kingsbury and kyler murray have the same agent so if kyler murray goes to the draft he's going to be the number one pick because his agent would tell him like hey you're going to be the number one pick you should go to the draft if he didn't go mike florio said be alarmed that they're going to go somewhere else he has arrived in nashville although he missed some event he has arrived in nashville so let's that they're going to go somewhere else. He has arrived in Nashville, although he missed some event. He has arrived in Nashville, so let's assume he's going to be the number one pick, which is good for Kyler Murray, good for Oklahoma,

and good for the Arizona Cardinals. Not great for Josh Rosen. As a player, how do you feel about the owner of the team deciding that he's going to take over all first-round decisions and put the GM in the backseat? That's what's going on in Washington. Last time he did that, he traded away 14 picks to get RG3. RG3 did win Rookie Offensive Player of the Year.

Great year. Same year that Luck broke all of Peyton Manning's records. The same year that Luck was doing a pro-style offense and breaking down defenses with an offense that was mixed-matched and everybody was learning a brand new offense and breaking down defenses with an offense that was kind of mix matched and everybody was learning a brand new offense and a young team and andrew led us to i think we went to the afc

championship game that year with andrew luck as our quarterback uh we had a we had a coach that left week four to battle leukemia, and RG3 Bob Griffin. Triple sticks. Who, by all accounts, big fan of the show, so I like him a lot. He won Offensive Rookie of the Year over Andrew Luck that year. So maybe Snyder made the right decision that year. You know what I mean?

Maybe he made the right decision. He got Offensive Rookie of the Year over a guy that led his team to the AFC Championship and beat all of Peyton Manning's records and all that stuff. So maybe Maybe he made the right decision. He got Offense Rookie of the Year over a guy that led his team to the AFC Championship and beat all of Peyton Manning's records and all that stuff. So maybe Snyder made the right decision. I'll be excited to see what he does. What Snyder will do, by the way, is fantasy football mentality in there. We already know that.

He will go in there and shake some shit up, and I'm excited for that. I wish Ursae would start pulling the trigger on first rounds. You don't want that. Yeah, I don't. You don't want that. I'll give you two guitars. You give me a goddamn Washington Drive running back and pick you two. Tell you what, I've never heard a guy,

I've never heard a former employee say a bad thing about Ursae. Never. I really haven't. Never. Honestly, in a lot of years. But with Dan Snyder, I've known three people that work for him, burying him. Yeah.

Just burying him, saying bad guy, bad. I've never heard a good word. Right, but just horrible to work for. Ursa, good dude. I think genuinely good dude. And I think Snyder could potentially be. I've never met him. I've never met the guy.

I met his kids with Chris Cooley down at the Super Bowl. Chris Cooley was playing babysitter for his kids. His kids are very nice, great handshake. I've never met Dan Snyder, but I've never heard anything good about him. I don't think there's much good from this guy. You know why? Because people say that work for Irsay. He says, I hired you.

Go do your job. I'll do mine. You do yours. Not like Snyder's going into the draft room now, has a decision on the number one pick. What about Jerry Jones? Irsay, well, he's also the GM out there, too. Keep that in mind. That's what I'm saying, though. I think I'm on the team. I think Jim's smart. I'm saying he's a smart owner by saying, dude, he's also the GM out there, too. Keep that in mind. That's what I'm saying, though. I think I'm on the team. But I think Jim's smart.

I'm saying I think he's a smart owner by saying, dude, I can't do this. Yeah, because back in the day, Ursae was the GM. Ursae was doing that. He was a 22-year-old. He was trying to SMU. His dad didn't want to pay the regular GM, so he said, get up in the big office. Go do this thing. All right, I'll do it.

And he's just fresh out of college saying, all right, we're going to give this a run. It's basically like, yeah, he played at SMU. He played at SMU. I mean, I'm not being funny. It's literally like, hey, Connor, you're the GM. Okay. You know what I mean? It's kind of like that, you know?

Anybody could have picked him. Was he a great GM? No, but he learned a lot. Pulled some trays. Dickerson's all Ursae. Wow, okay. That was a good move. Dickerson was Ursae.

Pretty big move. But I would say that Ursae learned from that experience and know how much time you have to invest to be good at your job. And I would assume that's why he's like... I'm out of here. Too many hours. I love Jim Ursae. Good guy. Don't know Dan Snyder I love Jim Mercer. Good guy.

Don't know Dan Snyder. Everybody says he's a bad guy. We'll find out if he's a fucking good GM. Can't wait to see what the Raiders do. There's a lot of buzz around this. They're saying they're going to pick up a fourth first-round draft pick. How do you get four first-round draft picks? Great question.

What do you have? One-eighth of the first-round picks is for one fucking team? Trade Derek Carr? Trade Derek Carr. I mean, they moved Derek Carr. Derek Carr to Arizona. He gets his quarterback. They get that pick.

Yeah, they get Arizona's pick. Oh, shit. Derek Carr in a first-round pick. So Kyler Murray is going because he knows he's the number one pick. Will it be to Arizona? Oh, shit. Because he knows he's the number one pick. Will it be to Arizona? Oh! Shit! And three?

Nobody. Two? You'll hear about that later. You're going to crunch that HDMI cord. It's right under the wheel of your chair. No, that's where I last plugged in. You're destroying it. But if you crush it, it won't work in the future. Why is it here, Zito?

Why is it rolled up in the back? That's hockey talk, actually. No, that's your podcast. Well, it's true. We didn't even use a camera today. AQ didn't call in. Then why is it out? That was outside.

I don't know. You tell me. That was actually used out there. Where was AQ? Where was AQ Shipley? Minicamp. I don't know. You told me. That was actually used out there. Where was A.Q. Shipley? Minicamp. Oh, man. 6 a.m.

That's a lie. My football job is so important. He had 6 a.m. Minicamp? What the fuck is Cliff King doing over there? Is that real? Getting him out by 9. Waking up early.

I mean, that sounds all good and all, but that's a 4.30 fucking wake-up call, especially if guys need to warm up. Like, the older guys need to warm up. Like the older guys need to warm up. Larry Fitzgerald probably needs to be here at 3 a.m. What is that East Coast time? 9. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, but the thing about it is whenever it's 6 a.m.,

you're living at the 6 a.m. You're not living in the 9 a.m. I never do that. I always stay at the same time zone. Because you get jet-lagged. It's like 3 p.m. in England, too, so that's not bad. Oh, yeah. Hey, think about this. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. in England, too, so that's not... Oh, yeah, you're good.

Hey, think about this. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Hey, man, maybe just grab a drink. It's always tomorrow in Australia. People forget that. Well, what I was thinking about is today is just tomorrow's yesterday. Yes. Oh, yeah.

I was thinking about dropping that in the draft speech as well. That'd be a good one. Yeah. Is that Celine Dion? I don't know. I thought about it at 4 a.m. this morning whenever I was... If it's not not somebody write that song Today is tomorrow's yesterday

Boom Hit It is a banger It's a good lyric Yesterday is tomorrow's today Michael Caine It doesn't have to make sense Today's a present because it's a gift

No today would be yesterday's tomorrow And today would be tomorrow's yesterday Oh fucking And tomorrow is never It's a good start to a hit And tomorrow is never guaranteed tomorrow and today would be tomorrow's yesterday. Oh, fucking. It's a good start to a hit. And tomorrow is never guaranteed. Then you just say, then you talk about dominating the right now. Yes. That's what the whole song's about.

There's many different ways to describe right now. Yes. It's technically yesterday's tomorrow or tomorrow's yesterday but it's really today. You did. Hours, too. See what we just did there? Next week's week before.

What did you just say? The last hour's the best hour? What was that? I don't know. I was trying to match it up, but I couldn't figure it out. It's weird. It's not like you. I don't think anybody would have just assumed that zito couldn't figure it out we interrupt this conversation for a reading by zito thank you very much pat oh now it's time to move on to our all-time favorite underdog success story

mvmt movement launches yeah. Good inflection there. Thank you very much. Found in the belief that style shouldn't break the bank, they've sold almost 2 million watches worldwide by bringing quality designs at fair prices. Have you heard about the new

styles and features? No. Let me tell you about them. It's almost like you're in his Okay. Well, it's almost like you're in his brain. Whoa. It's kind of weird. He's reading the paper.

They just dropped their first ever automatic watch, the Arc Automatic. Wow. That's very cool. Connor might be reading the paper, but not as good as you. Thank you very much.

I can't see it. I can't get enough of the 1960s American muscle car inspired black top collection. Now we're talking. Give me a little muscle car. What time is it? I will say, though, I did buy my father one of these watches the other day, and it was

called the Classic Gritty Glow. Nice. Oh. That's nice. Gritty. Very nice. It's gritty, and he loved it. And It's nice. Gritty. Very nice. It's gritty and he loved it. It's classic. Movement watches are all

about looking good while keeping it simple. They don't tell you how many steps you've taken or blow your wrist up with text messages like saying, you up? You lost. They're not overly intrusive on

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Did you know that they're a crowdfunded startup? No. No, I do now. Yeah that they're a crowdfunded startup? No. No, I do not. Yeah, they were a small business at one point. Oh. Look at them. Look at them, yeah. Yeah.

They were started by college dropouts. Oh. Almost 2 million watches sold in over 160 countries. Wow. Yeah, not a big deal. They can't all be lying. No, they can't. No, that's too many.

Movement watches start at just $95. You're looking at $400 for the same quality from a traditional brand. Did you just just $95 You're looking at $400 For the same quality from a traditional brand Did you just say $95? Yes, $95 And something similar would cost what? Like $400 Wow

That's crazy Movement has sold almost 2 million watches I already said that A lot of watches still Still Let's hammer that one home Let's hammer that one home Get Let's hammer that one out. This is still a shit ton.

Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash front slash. Ooh. Or Ford. Or Ford. Actually, there is no Ford or back. Just a slash. So, Jesus. You got this.

They really set me up for failure. You got this, bro. I think it's assumed that's a Ford slash. Get this. You got it. Get 15 set me up for failure. You got this, bro. I think it's assumed that's a forward slash. You'll get this. You got it. Get 50% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash McAfee. MVMT launches new styles on their site all the time. Check out their latest at MVMT.com.

Go to MVMT.com slash McAfee. Join the movement. You moved right through that ad read in a beautiful fashion. You're like a baby discovering something for the first time whenever you nail a big word. Did you hear me say intrusive? But I didn't even

only hear it, I saw it. Your eyes light up. You're like, how did I say that word? I think I said that word right. I'm good with long I words. Not long C words. Intelligent. You can get out. Zito is preparing for the wedding where he will be reading during the ceremony.

I am proud of him. I will probably be wearing a movement watch or movement sunglasses during that. Not certain yet how the sun's going to be. Their sunglasses don't get enough credit. The movement. They're legit. They are very nice. MVMT.com slash McAfee.

McAfee. 15% off. Go ahead and check them out now. Shout out to Zito for fucking nailing that. Hey. Crushed it. Good job. He said intrusive.

He did. The punctuation was a little off. Let's get back to this. Let's talk about what Zito did figure out though. A Zito production for OCW. If you haven't seen it, it debuted yesterday at noon on our YouTube, on my Twitter, and last night on the IGTV, which is very difficult, by the way.

Zuckerberg makes it very difficult to do that IGTV. I don't know how people are uploading seven, eight IGTVs a day. What are they doing? How do they do it? No idea. I think they hire someone specifically for IGTV. Can you schedule it? You think Gary Vee's got an IGTV?

Oh, sure. He might have two or three of them. You're GV's IGTV. Can you schedule it? You think Gary Vee's got an IGTV? He might have two or three of them. You're GV's IGTV guy. And they have to pay Gary Vee to be on that team. He makes a million dollars from those three people that work there. Well, you gotta remember, the closer to the sun, the more you have to pay.

Correct. It's true. People should be paying to work for, by the way. GV? If I had... What? I can't afford it. Gary V once said, which I kind of agree with him. I mean, I think the number was a bit excessive, but he said that the people that work for him

should be paying him $250,000 so that they get the experiences that they're getting because you want to work closer to the sun, and he is calling himself the sun, which makes sense, by the way. Gary Vee has like 75 million followers. He now has foreign language accounts, which I think – By the way, what have I been talking about moving into? India.

Getting big in China. And India. There's a billion – over a billion people in both. Two billion. I have thought about and I've talked about publicly in this office. I'm maybe not on the show. Getting somebody that speaks the Hindi, coming in here, having him shadow me for about a week so he picks up all my mannerisms. And then we print out each podcast episode and he just reads it as if he's me.

Bang, now we got a podcast in India. Wow. That is- We're doing this is... 400 million downloads per episode. And Mandarin. No problem. They would all be using SeatGeek over there. You called the Pat McAfee Bollywood show? Yeah, think about pitching that to Ian, by the way,

at SeatGeek, just being like, hey man, that's what I'm thinking. All right, so I got this guy who's been following me around. He's India Pat. GaryVee's doing it though. So if he's on to it, I think we should think about it. There's actually a celebrity

cricket tournament coming up in August. You want in? It's in New Delhi. It's baseball golf. Are you gambling cricket? No, but you have lines and odds and favors. So you follow along with the cricket? No. No, but you have lines and odds and favors. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you follow along with the cricket? Me personally?

Those games are what, like six days long? Yeah, yeah. It takes a while. You've got to pack a lunch. All those old games, at least, and a teepee possibly. Not the same. Yeah, different. No, no, no.

But I did purchase a teepee yesterday. Really? Well, this morning. It was 4 a.m., yeah. Toilet paper. Really? it was on wayfair.com that pop up in my that is my kryptonite I've learned what my kryptonite is

it's at wayfair.com Instagram ads and Facebook ads I believe and they're on everything and you can scroll through them and it's just the most wild assortment of things I've ever seen in my entire life. You're going to find this hard to believe, but the town I'm from, Shelbyville, Indiana, there was a man who lived

in a teepee. I bought an eight-person teepee. Eight years. What? I bought an eight-person teepee. It's really awesome. Yeah, because Sam has done this big kick about wanting to take me camping because I've never done the camping thing. I like electricity a lot. Run a cabin. They're great. Luxurious. That's okay with me. I'll go right in. Run a cabin. They're great. Luxurious.

That's okay with me. I'll go right in a motherfucking cabin. That's great. Cable. Beautiful. Yeah. Shower. Fire.

Very nice. Guaranteed fire. Kitchen. Don't have to earn the fire. Insulation. Listen, if I was around in caveman years, we've already talked about this, I'm a fucking dead man. Okay?

You would have adapted. I doubt it. I honestly doubt it. There's some things I just hate doing, and most of it involves all that stuff. But camping, not really my thing. My dad, big outdoorsman, used to put the hunting outfit in a garbage bag filled with leaves like weeks before hunting season. Oh, get the stank off.

Yeah, so he could be one with the animals. He forced me and Jay to go. Didn't force us. We chose to go. We got out of school for it. We went into woods. We walked around, that whole thing. Just wasn't for me. You know, it Didn't force us. We chose to go. We got out of school for it. We went into woods. We walked around that whole thing. Just wasn't for me. You know, it wasn't for me. But Sam is

on his big camping kick. And there was this one on Wayfair. It was an elevated tent. Oh yeah, must have. Gotta have those notes. That's what I said. So the coyotes can't get you. Well, and the ground's wet. I guess it's elevated. Get off the ground. Get off. All around better. Snakes. Exactly. She came after me. Why? Well, I guess it's elevated. Get off the ground. Get off. All around better. Snakes, all that stuff. Exactly.

She came after me. What? Why? Well, it was a twin size. So it was a little bit of a smaller elevated tent. But she said that it won't be good because you have to have a perfectly flat surface, which is probably an accurate assessment.

We live in Indiana, though. I don't think we're camping just in my backyard. It's going to be as... I don't want to're camping just in my backyard. It's going to be as... I don't want to argue with her logic, but it's going to be relatively as level as the ground that it's on top of. Hey, I'm on your side here. Well, no, you tied it to trees, right? The ones I saw, you tied it to trees.

Oh, really? Yeah. I think she really wants me to rough it. You know what I mean? Why do it? Why? What, sleep on the ground? Sleep in bags?

In the dirt? I echo all of your sentences. Are you guys thinking tree lines or forest? What. What? Sleep on the ground? Sleeping bags? In the dirt? I echo all of your sentences. No thanks. Like some poor, Are you guys thinking tree lines or like forest? What? What? Are you guys thinking about

camping in a tree line or just like a big forest? Like in the woods? Yeah, yeah. Or in a forest? Yeah. I'm not certain if we're in a tree line

or if we're in a forest. I am not 100%. It's way different, right? They're way different. No one knows what you're saying. Nobody knows what you're saying. Well, a forest, I guess, is a bunch of tree lines stacked up on top of each other. How many tree lines are we talking?

I think we're probably going to be a couple hundred tree lines deep. Oh, yeah. I think it's going to be great. Front level. Bring a buck knife. Oh, yeah. I'll bring a sword, too, out there. It really ties to trees?

It's suspended by... Some do. Yeah, the ones I've seen. No, it's on a hammock. No, it's... In the ground. Like stakes in the ground. Okay, so you've got stakes that it's on. It's suspended by trees. Some of the ones I've seen. No, it's on a hammock. No, it's... In the ground. Like stakes in the ground. Okay, so you've got stakes.

It's on a hammer. It's on a platform. That makes way more sense to me. It's on a platform. It's on a platform. That's why I asked about the tree lines. What? That's why I asked about the tree line.

Oh, because the hammock thing? Yeah, I thought it was a hammock. There are ones, though. They look like... There are trees. Here's for future reference. If we have a hammock, there will be trees. I would like that to be noted

just to make sure you clear it all up tree line or forest there's going to be a lot of tree lines that's good but I saw this I saw the elevated thing

and it's one of those things where you like press down it's like you know what I mean it has like X it's like little metal and it just had

a little thing on top of it I said this is what I'm going to get actually I sent it to her I sent it to her and DM on Instagram like hey this is what I would like and she's like it. I said, this is what I'm going to get. Actually, I sent it to her. I sent it to her DM on Instagram. Like, hey, this is what I would like.

And she's like, it's twin size. And I was like, cool. We need to get two. One for you, one for me then. I'll be right next door. She's like, that's not what I'm talking about when everybody's talking camping. So I sent her the fucking eight-person teepee. I was like, is this good enough?

And this thing is large. I mean, it is a large teepee. I am taking over said tree line that we got into. I don't know how hard it's going to be to put up, but I assume somebody else is going to have to do it. It's going to be very difficult. Eight people. Yeah, but now you're sleeping on the dirt, right?

No, you can get caught. It has a floor. I'm going to put a hammock in there. I'm going to hang. See, now we got a tree line inside the teepee. Take the bear rug. Now we're doing it. That's what I was saying.

They make tents, though, that are basically hammocks. You tie them to trees, and it's got a full tent on top of it. And you just hang out in there. So what do we... I see those on the side of the cliffs whenever they climb those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are less dangerous ones. Free solo, folks.

There you go. Chalk, by the way. Very important in that. Oh, yes. They're just wedging their fingers in between those fucking... We're not doing that. That's not just a standard camping. No, no, no.

That'd be just a standard camping. Standard camping is getting a cabin. I don't think that's... Or going to a camp site where I can pull in a fucking lady hawk. Like a KLA. With a roof. Yeah, that one. I'm still... She wants to put the shit

on the thing with the thing. What about the bugs? Yeah, I guess we'll have to do the bug spray thing. We'll have to do the bug spray thing. She wants to build a fire like we're in Boy Scouts. A fire is fun to build. Girl Scout, whatever. After you build your teepee, the best way to get a fire started is you build

the logs like a teepee as well. That's the best fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was an Eagle Scout. I learned that when I was a kid. I can start a fire right now. I was one of them, what's that called? Somebody loves fire there for a little bit? Pyro. We all.

Jason McAfee and I went through a big pyro phase in the house. Jay, I'm sure. Jay still might be. You still with it? Yeah. I almost burnt down my house using one of those. Hairspray? No, no, no.

The grill lighters to kill a spider on the ceiling. You still do that though like you didn't learn your lesson there you still as an adult brand new house still spray fire they're the worst

and that's why I won't sleep on the grill you're not the only person that does that by the way that popped up on the internet it was a meme somebody was like you gotta burn this thing down

the guy actually did burn it down killing spiders with the aerosol can and lighter though that's aggressive it's even more dangerous I don't do that. When I see a spider,

it's kind of like how Nick acts with bees. I just kind of give it a thumbs up and go, like, you do what you got to do, man. There you go. You know what I mean? You do what you got to do. But when you're in that evil stage of little boy, like growing up,

you're like, you just want to kill everything. I'm going to be honest with you. That's the most creative way possible. Just maniac. I did not go through that. Oh, really? What was your pyrophase? What did you do?

My mom used to lock in her hair as a helmet. My mom used to be known as a helmet. Sure. Helmet head? She used to utilize hairspray in a rapid rate. It always looked good. She looked like Princess Di there for a while. Her hair was a Princess Di hair.

And I thank her for the 70 degree days in November. Exactly, because it was probably her hairspray that yeah yes good point people are going after uh suvs and trucks they need to be talking to sally mcafee fluorocarbons uh but we would just take one of her hairspray things because it would be on deck you know yeah we would just take uh somebody's lighter and it was just like a whatever we could get you know what I mean? It was so much fun. It felt like such a badass, too. Oh, yeah. Smoking leaves. Smoking shit out of leaves.

And then I started selling cigarettes, and everything changed. Then I became the fucking godfather of the operation. I'm very proud of Zito, though. This is how we started this conversation. I forgot about that. The Zito production of OCW was very impressive. Wait, just the leaves itself you smoked?

Yeah, you'd roll them up. You're a dude's a kid, man. And then like a roach clip? Oh yeah, yeah. I would grab a roach clip from fucking Tim McAfee. And then Sally McAvee and Nick is threatening to jump off a cliff that is not currently in the area. It's a metaphorical cliff.

Yeah, after what Zito just said there. He is supporting the pub, though, with that allegedly RV shirt. Free Zito still available for the shirts that are just lies. We only sold four, I believe. Yeah, there was not a lot of shirts sold.

The pub's support kind of seemed to dwindle. Or the pub members finally found a fucking soul and said, yeah, this is on Zito. Do not disrespect the pub members like that. They disrespected you. No, no, no. According to CFO Phil Maynes, a lot of people enjoyed the allegedly shirt and a lot of people enjoyed the pub cat shirt. Oh, he lied.

Pub wall shirt. Not as good. That's big time inside baseball. Well, plus, either way, a lot of the pub members, you know, they get paid every two weeks, and they get paid on Friday. And probably make less than the other people that listen to this show. Whoa, whoa,

whoa. That was unnecessary slander from you, Todd. No judgment. Okay, fine. I'm going to say they're younger, man. Just know this Friday, I'm sure there'll be a big push from the pub family members. What did you say? What was the word you said? Younger.

Or dumber. I thought I heard that. Somebody came into the OCW taping last night supporting the pub, and I almost kicked him out immediately. He's a good man. He was a good guy. He actually just left his business cards. Is that who it was?

Yeah, all around the office. At Cavemen Media. Shout out to you, bro. I hope you do well. Clearly a smart man. 45 business cards. There's two in the shitter. He left one in the shitter.

Yeah, he left them everywhere. We've been sweeping up this kid's cards around the office. I thank him for coming to the OCW. The crowd that came to the OCW taping. Electric. Incredible human beings. Nick found them on the internet, brought them into the office. I thank him for coming to the OCW. The crowd that came to the OCW taping. Electric. Incredible human beings. Nick found them on the internet, brought them into the office. We don't do that often. We don't open up the doors to this office

much. So there was a little bit of hesitancy to do the whole thing. That's why we didn't announce it until day of. But the people that came into this office were incredible. They're family. They really are. It was awesome. The kid who supported the pub, though, with the allegedly shirt, I almost kicked him out immediately. Then I learned that he was the one that scattered his business cards

all over the office, which makes complete sense. That's what the pub attracts. They're smart. I mean, they're just genuinely intriguing people who know what they're doing. Are you going to follow him? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's coming over for a beer later. Oh, so you just invited at Caveman Media to the pub? Is that happening tonight, Thursday'm pretty sure he's coming over for a beer later. Oh, so you just invited at Cavemen Media to the pub?

Is that happening tonight, Thursday? Yeah, he's coming over. We're talking. He's coming for the draft. He's coming over to watch the draft at the pub. Foxy and Zeke don't seem sold. At Cavemen Media, if you're listening, which you should be, I assume you are, you are formally invited to come over to the pub and maybe sleep over?

We'll see if we have any rooms booked, but it'll be interesting for one of these quote-unquote members to actually step foot inside. Family members? We've said it a billion times, okay? The pub is not a location. The pub is a state

of mind. So you take back your invite to the pub member that you just invited to the pub well here's the thing i mean they're members well yeah absolutely if we were gonna be there tomorrow it's not real figuratively is it what's the other one literally literally the pub actually is now gonna be on call foxy just got a text uh we're probably gonna be watching the draft elsewhere due to renovations. Oh, so you're backing out

on pub family members now? No, no, our exterminator for our mice problem continues to grow. He thinks he's coming by tomorrow night to take care of that. Just for future reference,

the exterminator, it's not just like, hey, I'll stop by whenever I can. What exterminator comes at night? The pub exterminator. Yeah, the mosque

brought his cousins. Yeah, oh, it's terrible. They're pooping all over the place. The mosque brought its cousins. It's terrible. They're pooping all over the place. Big turds too. Dropping dumps everywhere. The pub is the worst. It's the fucking worst place ever. Should we just buy a bunch of snakes?

You guys are a bunch of fucking snakes. Figuratively or literally? Good old Ty Schmidt put on a goddamn show at OCW. The entire office didn't get to hear good old Ty Schmidt for most of the matches. I don't think you did either. I couldn't hear a single thing either, but when I did, I lost it. Good old Ty Schmidt, is he here currently? Yeah, he can step in. Good old Ty Schmidt back is he here currently? Yeah, he can step in.

Good old Ty Schmidt back there. What did you think of OCW as a whole? Well, Pat, it was a rousing success. We had bloodshed. We had ice cold natural light. We did. We had the devil going straight back to hell. That's a factual statement.

And we had a couple more matches that the people are going to be able to enjoy over the next couple weeks. That's right. Good old Ty Schmidt. You did lie to the audience on numerous occasions, which I think is something. Is that just a part of the character or did you genuinely not know? Well, you know, I mean, when you're watching that high level of wrestling, I think you're just assuming blood's going to be shed. You know, bones are being broken, ligaments exploding, et cetera, et cetera. It was outrageous. The way Ty was talking throughout that entire OCW,

every once in a while I'd get to hear him because the crowd was so loud. Right next to us. We were in the crowd, which, by the way, most of it went off without a hitch. Yeah. Placing me and Ty directly in the middle of the crowd, potentially a bad decision. Great shot, though. It looked good.

It looked good, but we couldn't hear a single word. Well, it's because of your headphones. And then every once in a while, I would hear fucking good old Ty Schmidt, and I would just lose it. I couldn't take it serious. The commitment to the character of good old Ty Schmidt. Incredible.

We were talking for two hours. It was two hours straight of sweating. My voice feels fine, too. I still have a headache just from yelling the entire night, but I thought I would lose my voice. It's doing okay. So I lost my voice going into the last taping, and we had to find it deep in there.

But honestly, I think it made it sound as if it was a little bit more of a... We were going through the ringer as well. Yeah. I think the crowd was incredible. Their energy for two hours straight. We said we only need them for an hour, which was a lie. Which we should have known, by the way. Should have known.

We knew. I don't think they might. I did not know. In my head, we were knocking that thing out. Well, initially, you said 10-minute matches. Yes, exactly. Like in and out. This was the funniest part that I laughed at over here by myself. that thing out because well initially you said 10 minute matches yes exactly in and out this was

this was the funniest part was that i laughed at over here by myself was you said it was starting at 7 30 and they would be here from 7 30 to 8 30 correct nick told them to get here at 7 30 so yeah i knew that it wasn't going to start until probably oh the audience wrangler i mean we can he did his job great by reaching out on the internet and getting them here. I was given no parameters, no specifics. I just hear, just make sure they're here at seven 30.

So that's what I do. Every other part of the job about audience wrangling though, kind of disappeared, kind of fell asleep at the wheel, but Tim Hockney, Samantha Lutie stepped up and made it happen. And the crowd acted incredible. So Nick is going to take credit for all the crowd acting.

I can't be in two places at once. Todd's yelling at me. Cause I brought in four people at a time, and the crowd acted incredible. So Nick is going to take credit for all the crowd acting, I assume. I can't be in two places at once. Todd's yelling at me because I brought in four people at a time, had them fill out the waivers in an orderly fashion. Then I showed them where the seats were. I walked away from them once they were in their seats to get the next four people. And all of a sudden, Todd starts flipping out.

I think they disagree. I mean, that's exactly what happened. I think we saw you walk them through the barrier that was created to keep them from going that way. They just never told me about the barrier. And then around the corner, he was just sitting around chatting where the audience members were going to sit. Not me. I should have been at the extra security desk.

And people were just wondering about willy-nilly. No, I took the audience members to their seat. I said, this is where you guys are going to sit. You can stand up here. You can sit down here. Please be careful. I'm going to go get the next guy. That was the first group.

You did that to the first group. I agree. And then Todd yelled at me. So then I said, OK, Todd, you can help then. And then he decided to take over. Well, Gorman, we'll talk about Gorman. But Diggs tucked in his security shirt. I think he looked the most professional out of all of our security.

I was actually. That's great that he looked good. What did he do? No, I didn't do anything. Good crowd shots. Good crowd shots. Yeah. Good crowd shots. We used one of them.

Yeah, we did, didn't we? Oh, yeah. You used the security one. We actually said, cut to one of Diggs' shots here. Like, while in the production, we're like, cut to Diggs here. There's a lot more good ones in there

that I saw you not look at, Foxy. But... Wow. Wow. That's how good Zito did on the switcher, though. I went into the bathroom after i had tucked my security shirt in and i had my hat on and my beard is not very well kept right now and it was alarmingly uh good how looked at how proper how well i should have been fitting into that security

you're a full yellow shirt mode it looked like i belonged maybe is that should be my job and i scheduled a hair appointment for tomorrow, exactly right after that. Yellow shirts are known to be very professional individuals. Is that not accurate, Ty Schmitt? Yeah, a thousand percent. You fucking take a thing off the top, and he'll just tell you,

well, that thing's leaking a good deal of coolant. Go ahead and throw that thing down a fucking hill and be done with it. That's exactly how Diggs looked. That was exactly how Diggs looked., cool it. Go ahead and throw that thing down a fucking hill and be done with it. That's exactly how Diggs looked. That was exactly how Diggs looked. And I hated it. Gorman moments before the crowd was to arrive comes up to me, lets me know. Because I had a lot going on, obviously.

A lot going on. Ty Schmidt and I were very, I mean, everybody was busy throughout the day, but I had to literally be in 45 different places throughout the entire day for a span of about six hours straight, which is my fault because I thought of the idea. So it was kind of my fault. I mean, the way we throw things together last minute, whenever it comes time to do things, there's a lot of things to do. There's a lot of things to do that have to happen. So we're all over the place gorman stops you for a minute while i'm going to take a piss i think and he goes hey man just

want to let you know i'll help out with the audience wrangling and uh anything else you need you got it anything else i'm like oh no that's very nice of you thank you i appreciate i'm gonna go take a piss he goes you got it bud let's have a good night i'm like thank you so then whenever the audience thing's happening when nick was just kind of moseying around and the audience members were just fucking strolling around the office. Gorman was hiding in a corner. Did you see him sitting in a seat? He sat on the stairs in the corner where there's

no lights. I've never seen anybody sit there before. Not during the event. That was after the event. No, that was whenever they were coming in. That was when the audience was coming in because I had to I actually had to tell the people where to sit. The audience people where to sit. I mean, I had nothing else going on, so it was good that I had to do that as well. But I walked over, and I'm like,

okay, I'm going to go take a shit, which is, by the way, anybody that knows me, when I say I'm going to go take a shit, that is 100% just my way of getting out of something. Oh, yeah. All right, I got to go take a shit. Good laugh, and then everybody knows how it feels to have to take a shit,

so they don't feel bad about me leaving. It's just my way of getting out of things. I go, all right, I'm going to go take a shit. I was going to go into my my office change my shirt or whatever and i see gorman hiding in the corner while the fucking audience members are just strolling around the office i'm like it was no less than 20 minutes ago he said he would help that and i see nick fucking chatter chatting over here i'm like oh this is great this is great i hope that's i'm known to do that you know i'm known to chatter around. He did though, wasn't he? He was so pumped about the OTW.

He was hanging on the ring at one point. I mean, the fucking caveman media guy might as well have been dancing up on the mezzanine. I can lead these people to water. I can't make them drink. I show them where they're supposed to sit. I can't make them sit there and babysit the whole time. I got to get the other people the door.

I will say this. You picked a great group of people. I would have let them just mosey around the entire office anyway those people are very aside from the business cards they're left everywhere uh those people were very fucking nice i we got very lucky i think by the people that you carefully scouted nick you carefully scouted just like chris ballard you carefully scouted these people and we got the right crew in there so what i loved about them too is they had no idea what they were walking into, which I didn't even think about.

That could have been anything. They were like, we were told to bring a couple different outfit changes, and that's it. It could have been anything. They had no idea that it was going to be a wrestling show. No idea. And actually, whenever I put the word out on Twitter, I put quotations around audience. Like, we need an audience. What could that even mean?

Right. Yep, I'm in. How the fuck? What do you need from me? Are we watching a fucking donkey show? And then they walk in there. There's a full setup. Zito's sitting behind a fucking control panel.

I mean, it was just an awesome night, man. It was. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. Hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time. Long time. Well, even like watching it last night over and over like you think it would get like tiring but it was literally funny every time no then we watched it when it came out at noon today and just laughed well yeah we're watching it live while everybody else is watching it as it launches commenting in

there during it laughing our asses off sporadically around the room because everybody's catching it at different times it's i don't know if we'll ever end up doing it again i would hope so i would assume we would but man this is the first one in a long time where i'm like man i really enjoyed that i really really enjoyed it brother brother juice the devil brought electricity into this place here's the best part uh the other The other episodes, just as good, if not better. Well, we haven't seen them yet,

but Ty and I got done with the devil match and we thought it was our worst match of the night. And it turns out that it was very entertaining. Pretty damn good. I cannot wait

for the other two that we have coming out. Next Wednesday, we have one coming out at noon. The interview that Jeffrey Gorman does for next week's episode is one that I think we should for next week's episode is one

that I think we should be... Who's that? The one guy? The weird guy or the other weird guy? Well... Which one? The other one. The professional wrestlers are all very professional. They're good. The one next week...

We're saving Cinco de Mayo. Maybe. Maybe. Who knows? We don't know. Dylan Bostic is fighting to save Cinco de Mayo in this office against somebody that does not love Mexican celebrations. It's a great holiday.

Great holiday. Love it. Great holiday. I love it. My birthday was May 2nd, so Cinco de Mayo just kind of rolled into that. I mean, I have celebrated Cinco de Mayo for a long time. Hard. And there's somebody that isn't happy that I've spoke highly of Cinco de Mayo.

Gay fap. And it's going to be a good time. Gorman. Gorman interviewing these fucking people, though. Just in the Gorman collection, so properly dressed. These humans are in underwear, basically. Just yelling at Jeffrey Gorman, this professional broadcaster. I was uncomfortable during the one.

I mean, I was uncomfortable. And I don't get uncomfortable. I was rattled. I was shaken by the one guy with the thing and the two eyes, you know, with the deal. But you handled it fairly. That guy. That'll come out in two weeks. Gorman handled it in the only way that Gorman can,

and that is a professional, professional manner. Let's talk about Zito's director, Zit, here. Oh. DZ. Yeah, yeah. I think this is probably my favorite, Zit. Thank you. Mostly because it's an efficient one.

Yeah. It's a functioning one. He takes things very serious. It's an efficient one. It's a functioning one. It's a serious one. It's a successful one. There's no like, yeah, you get it. Drops his character. It was very incredible. You had to cut cameras. We had numerous different cameras going for

this live show. He had to cut cameras. He had to move people around. I mean, Zito, you were really in your element there. Yeah, I kind of wish I had a radio. I'd look a little more professional. But other than that, though, yeah. Just for the looks or for actual functionality? I think the looks, but either one.

I can tell when Zito has a little bit of anxiety, like there's pressure. Oh, yeah. Because he gets very quiet. There's no Zito-isms coming out. No random weird voices. No. Hey, by the way, he starts asking me questions.

He starts asking me questions in terrible times. Well, he knows it's important. Yeah, you see real Zito come out. No such thing as a dumb question, they say. No, I disagree though. That is a bold-faced lie. You told me that yesterday. Well, I'm just saying for you,

whenever that type of thing, there's a lot of shit going on and we have a lot invested in it. Like, yes, there's no such thing as a dumb question. But in general, a lot of dumb motherfucking questions out there. A lot of dumb motherfucking questions. I see it now. But Jose Perez comes out whenever it's. It's a good way to put it.

Joe Perez. Joe, if you will. Joe Perez comes out whenever there's like real pressure on old Z. JoJo. And it's enjoyable. And then whenever it's over, Zito comes back quicker than anything i've ever fucking seen as soon as it's and it's a build-up like it just starts spilling out the real zito popped up out of that casket real quick yeah this looks like a twin bed by the way

he's been waiting for this casket. Some people are saying that this entire thing was strictly just to get a casket in the office so that Zito could make his own Undertaker gift. I've heard that. So Zito got the casket with Todd. They went to a fucking funeral home. A real funeral home. This casket had been used.

With bodies in the cooler. funeral home. A real funeral home. This casket had been used. This casket has been used the day of pickup it was used. Zito finessed it into being a free casket somehow. They're like, yeah, just fucking take it. It's ours now. Yeah, just take the casket. That thing's got enough dead bodies in it.

Zito gets it back. Can't wait to shoot the fucking Undertaker gif. And he shoots it in a manner where it doesn't even look like he's in a casket. He might as well just be laying on a fucking twin bed. It didn't even matter. Almost no smoke either. There's no smoke. You can't even see that you're in a casket.

You shot it so high, you can't even see the casket. I didn't open it. That was on me. I should have opened it. I have a question. Did you have your shoes and socks off when you were inside the casket? No, but I had no core strength, so I had to use my legs to get up. It was bad.

Hey, if you find Joe Perez, tell him he did a good job. Thank you, that's all. Yeah, tell him he did a great job. Because, I mean, you had to be on the trigger finger there. Yeah. You were literally on the trigger finger there. And doing smoke. And I kept handing things away.

I was going to give Jay the smoke machine at one point. Jason McAfee? He refused it, by the way. He did. Thank God. Jay was not around for any of the meetings. You're just going to toss Jay into the fucking... No one's ever used a smoke machine either besides you.

Yeah, and then I gave Nick the bell. So I was like, I kept handing things away. By the way, a lot of controversy on that bell on the internet today. Because there was no bell. I hit that thing. Crowd was going so crazy. It's tough to hear. Nick had to juggle both crowd reactions and the bell and intro music and outro music.

So there was a lot going on. You only got two hands, Nick. Thanks. But a lot of controversy on the lack of the bell sound at the end of, which, by the way, saved our souls. Yeah, that's true. I was very excited on that one. I rang it like six times. A lot of MVPs, but I may be in the minority here,

but I think the public knows. The real MVP last night, standing on a ladder for what seemed like seven hours with a great shot, by the way. A clean Griff shot. The man could not feel his legs from the knee down. Yeah, I think Todd McComb is... I don't know why you call it carpal tunnel when it's in your ankles, but I think I have it.

Yeah, because you were up there for the entire rehearsal as well, which we were up there for like two and a half, three hours. Yeah, it's surprising. He would come over sometimes, like there'd be, you know, just a break in the action. He'd come down and, fuck, I can't feel my legs. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm dead fucking serious. I can't feel my legs up there.

What was it? It was about a 15-foot ladder. Is that what it was? Yeah. About a 15-foot ladder. Todd was climbed up to the top of it. But he's leaning up against it, so he's keeping, you know what I mean? And that's cutting off oxygen on the front side.

There was two moments. One, I almost fell backward on my own. That would have been hilarious. Just because my legs were just gone, and I just all of a sudden just got, for no reason, it was almost like a ghost just pushed me. My hips just went, and I'm holding the camera with two hands. I got, you know, the bottom of it's rested on a rung of a ladder off the monopod, and then I have the crank.

It's real thin up there. It's on top of those legs. Imagine if you had to hold that camera the whole time, though. Without the monopod? Without the monopod? Imagine all your arms. That would have been awesome if you had fallen off that. That's what I said.

It was so close. Imagine me and you. Imagine me. Through the front window. Because it was alarming how long it took my brain to process to let one hand go of the camera to touch the ladder what do i do yeah i almost went all the way back you know cory graves said that in like the third hour he gets a little slap happy it's like a third hour cory graves or whatever he told us that i could see

how he gets that because he got to a point very early where me and ty were literally just i was literally i know ty was just trying to make me laugh the entire time. That's all he was trying to do. And there was times where I had to fucking take the microphone away from my mouth. Crying, laughing. And when Jesus Christ almost got knocked off of that ring, Ty and I

both almost fell off the table because we were crying, laughing. And Jesus got waved off by one of the wrestlers, too. Do you remember? And that thing, I think it was Dylan's like, come on, you got to move, Jesus. Jesus is not here. When he came up against the ropes.

Jesus is not here. He's always here. He's always present. Jesus is not here. The Holy Spirit's always here. The Holy Spirit is always here. Who do you think was Jesus? Who do you think was the Easter Bunny?

Tweet us that. I would like you to tweet that. Who do you think was the Easter Bunny? And who do you think was Jesus? Who do you think was the Easter Bunny? Tweet us that. I would like you to tweet that. Who do you think was the Easter Bunny and who do you think was Jesus? I'll be excited to hear who your answers are. Evan Foxy. Yeah. I'll tell you what, for being a country club kid, you got an incredible

work ethic. Yeah, a lot of grit. A lot of grit. Foxy was the roaming camera and he was in the action a lot of the time. Oh, yeah. Like balls deep in the action with a wire wrapped around like his neck and his back, just sprinting around, and then we had to edit the whole thing. I think you did an incredible job, buddy.

That was really nice, but honestly, Zito made it super easy. I swear, Zito's cuts were perfect. Thank you. I mean- They weren't perfect because we had to fix them, so they were close. They were close. Let's not get content, Zito. Let were perfect I mean They weren't perfect Because we had to fix them So they were close They were close Let's not get Let's not get content Z Let's

I was just gonna say too Like The Super Bowl Zito crushed that production too And then we have this Yeah I mean we're two for two Z Directors

A Zito production Is a real thing I will say though It is funny how like Some of these big companies Need like 5,000 people. We got Todd climbed up on top of the ladder. We got Foxy roaming around with a thing around his neck.

We got Diggs with a shirt tucked in and a cell phone. Billy in a scissor lift. Billy in a scissor lift. And fucking Zito just punching butts. That is a joke. The DAZN people were mind blown at Super Bowl about how we run our things.

They were asking me questions like how it works. I was like, I have no idea. And I think down at that Super Bowl, I think we only got like maybe, maybe like 12 million

more views than they did. Around there, right? Only, I think only roughly. I don't know what a key grip is, but I can tell you this, you don't need them. I don't know why I key grip is, but I can tell you this. You don't need them. I don't know why I see so many in the credits every movie.

I will say, though, when we do this kind of shit, these productions, these long days, these are the ones we always look back on. Oh, it's the best. It's so much fun. It's a real team thing. It really is a team thing. I got a favorite part of last night we haven't talked about. Go on. The crowd comes in. All right? favorite part of last night we haven't talked about. Go on.

The crowd comes in. All right? So I'm trying to be within earshot. What are we doing with the crowd? Waivers are signed. Where are we going to put them? Seems like you weren't, though. All right.

Thank you. Where are we going to put the crowd? He was hiding in the corner. Oh, stop. Where are we going to put the crowd? You were sitting in a dark corner that I didn't even know people would sit in. To my defense, dude, first off, the wrestlers' entourage came in. I thought they were the crowd.

So I was like, okay, they're here early, and they're walking in the dressing room. Okay. So I was like, it's a free-for-all. But here's my favorite part. We're going to put them on the table next to the announcers, and I'm thinking to myself, and you don't be, Pat. I'm the first one to go, hey, let me talk to you a minute. Let me just play devil's advocate for you real quick. True true so i'm seeing these people fucking load up on these tables

and all i can think is snap crackle and pop yep and then i'm like hey what are we doing with the tables i forget who told me and somebody goes oh no problem dude we got uh beer cases under there and blocks of wood we're fine yeah where were you at we talked about this days ago we're fine we're good we stacked up all our cases of Metro White under the table. I would like it to be known that we troubleshooted that problem days ago. They also signed waivers. Days ago. We troubleshooted that days ago strictly because the conversation,

I think it was like maybe a three-minute conversation. Where are we going to put the audience? Over there. Where are they going to sit? Can we get bleachers? No, we can't get bleachers. Can we get we get bleachers? No, we can't get bleachers. Can we get the railing things? No, can't get those.

Well, I think we get those desks up there. Bring them down on the fucking scissor lift, and then we'll just stand on them. 20, 25 people should hold. We're good. Put the beer cases up underneath. Well, so then we got on top of them to test it out because we would never want anybody else

to do things that we don't do. I think that is something that we are like, hey, if we're going to have anybody else to do things that we don't do right i think that is something that we are like hey if we're gonna have somebody else to do it we'll do it i was even threatening to jump off that scissor lift uh because it just in case it was to happen in k-fabe in the show uh so we got up on those tables that we had already brought down on the scissor lift and we realized quickly that if you were just a little bit off center, those things were going down. You were on a teeter-totter. So then we look around. How do we fix this problem?

Put 90 beers underneath. Each one, 90 beers. And then we got the blocks still. Put the blocks underneath the other side. Is the wood good? The wood's good. Just they can't back up past this one part right here. Can we stand up here sure you

signed a waiver come on up don't worry about it the beers and the blocks got you everything is okay it all it hey by the way everything worked a lot of comments about osha i still don't exactly know what that is they basically regulate work sites to make sure they're safe yeah it wasn't a work site though yeah nope no office it was not. No. Office. Not like, it doesn't have to be like a construction work site. It's. No, no, no. It was an entertainment.

It was an entertainment. It was a studio. A show. Mm-hmm. We might as well have been at the Staples Center last night. We rented two lights for $300. That turned out we probably didn't even need. Hey, listen.

You got to be on your guard when you step in the OCW arena. Yeah, you're goddamn right. I mean, that scissor lift, eight stories high? Yeah. 80 feet, somebody jumped off from the heavens. Thank God no one got hurt. It's incredible. Yeah, but he needed to do it, because if not, what, we lose our souls to the devil?

We wouldn't be here. I don't want to go to hell. Probably become really good guitar players. I mean, if he didn't have the power of Jesus, he would have died for sure. Jesus came and saved our souls. Yes. And I'm not talking about in the way that the Bible thumpers are done. I'm talking about in real life, the devil was going to take us all the way down to hell.

And the Easter Bunny somehow got involved on the devil's side, which I had always had an inkling that the devil and the Easter Bunny were working together to take Easter away from Jesus. We found out at the OCW arena, OCW straight to hell match, that everything we thought about the Easter Bunny is accurate. He is working for the devil. The Easter eggs are all bullshit. He turned on Dylan Bostic, and Dylan had no shot until guess who showed up again? Out of the cave, out of the

fucking entrance music, bang, Jesus Christ shows up and saves the day. The power of Jesus compelled Dylan Bostic to save our souls. We should have connected those dots earlier, because I mean, if you're the devil and you're going to go recruiting, where do you start recruiting? With the children. Uses the Easter money.

Get the kids hooked. Just like how pedophiles recruit them. Free candy Uses the Easter money. Fucking God. Get the kids hooked. Just like how pedophiles recruit them. Free candy. Yes. Easter money's handed out candy every year. My God. There we go. It's terrifying, really.

Because you ask all these little fuckers now, like, hey, what is Easter? They're like, Reese's eggs. Yes. That's what it is. You know what I mean? It's not Jesus. No, you remember when Jesus died and he came back to life? What?

I don't know what you're talking about, dude. What? I'm about Peeps and chocolate-covered peanut butter. Nobody likes Peeps. Nobody likes Peeps. Right? Nobody likes Peeps. Out on Peeps.

It's the worst. I'll fuck with Peeps. Whatever. If they're sitting around, I'll eat them. What do you mean microwave? When I was a kid, Peeps were my shit. They blow up? Yeah.

They get like four times, eight times as big as... Well, and then also, if you make them smaller, don't they look like Kim Jong-un? Yeah. Well, that's Jesus right there. You make that little Pe they look like Kim Jong-un? Yeah. That's Jesus right there. You make that little peep into one that'll feed a whole family? That is Easter. Fuckin' A. Easter miracles.

I'm proud of our storytelling last night. Yeah. Yes. I like how everyone just referred to the devil as, hey, we're up for the devil. Anybody seen the devil? No, but I'll say this. I'm not talking out of turn, but we were doing an interview with the devil. An interview with the devil No but I'll say this I'm not talking on a turn But we were doing An interview

With the devil An interview with the devil Going With the devil Doing an interview With the devil And we're like Alright we're done

And we're like How was it And he's like Yeah we're gonna do it again Hey devil You need to red up The back of your head Cause I'm seeing

A lot of white Off the back Did you guys Did you guys notice The bathroom too He like took a shit Obviously And there's like Paint all over the wall Yeah yeah yeah I'm seeing a lot of white off the back. Did you guys notice the bathroom, too? He took a shit, obviously, and there's paint all over the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a hard time in there.

Hey, devil ain't from hell, bud. Devil's from Detroit. True story. He really was. Trouble from Detroit. Hey, we need a devil. Oh, we got a devil. Yeah, where's he from?

Detroit. He dashes in Detroit. What, we need a devil. Oh, we got a devil. Yeah, where's he from? Detroit. Detroit. He dashes in Detroit. Ah, what a fucking night. It's everywhere. It's so funny. I think the devil's been in here. It's like on the toilet paper and stuff. There is.

There's a little trail. You can tell everything he touched. Fucking steaks, too. That thing smelled, too, for a couple hours. They brought their... The wrestlers brought their friends. Yeah. Everything he touched. Fucking steaks, too. That thing smelled, too, for a couple hours. The wrestlers brought their friends. Yeah. And they just showed up out of nowhere.

They were good crowd members, though. Great crowd members, but I'll tell you what. They were the only ones I really looked at. I was like, should these motherfuckers be here? And everybody was very nice. I could not have expected it. It was incredible. Want another piece of chicken?

Help yourself. That's all I was doing back there. Stay out of that area, but eat the chicken. Hey, thanks for wrangling the fucking talent. You were a talent wrangler. I was a talent wrangler. I didn't want to steal anything. Absolutely.

Dylan Bostic is currently the office championship wrestling champion. Savior. Pres presented by Natural Light he saved our souls and won the strap he will be battling next week to save Cinco de Mayo in this office it'll be worth a watch I promise you Gorman puts on a performance

early in next week's episode that will make you I think you'll leak from your eyeballs. I think you'll cry. Journalists getting the right story, man. That's it. If you listen closely, by the way, to next week, you can hear me across the room crying, laughing in the background,

mostly because the way Gorman starts his fucking interviews is always the same exact way. Ty, please. In three, two, one. And when he hits one, he's not started. That is just to clear the room. He does the three, two, one to clear the room. Ready up

is usually the call. Ready up? What's the bite in between numbers? Now, now, now. Just for that? Oh, I don't know. He does all the Anchorman stuff. It worked. Because that interview you got, I was

crying, man. In three, two, we're not ready? Well, get ready. In three, not yet. Three, no? You're making up a shot clock. That means absolutely nothing. Just trying to set the control parameters of the interview.

Putting pressure on every human around you. Foxy didn't even have the camera out. He's like in three and Foxy's like, I don't have a camera. Ready up. Such a joke. This company's a joke. But we appreciate you listening. Check out OCW.

We'll be back next Wednesday at noon. Heartland Radio 2.0 coming out manana. Friday bangers, I believe, from Nick, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that's the whole thing. He's back. That's something you sign up for and do? Yeah.

Wow. One more thing. That'd be nice. Friday night. Yep. I know you don't watch the draft a lot. Oh, let's go. If it's the third round, fourth round, fifth round, you better watch the Colts third round

pick. Who doesn't watch the draft? Hey, Ballard said earlier he's not going to get rid of it. Right. And if he does, it'll be while I'm walking up to the stage. You will get your time. It will be entertaining however it goes. I got a pretty good little promo I'm ready to cut.

Yep. I think it'll do well. I think it'll do well. I think it'll do good. Hopefully it's a good draft pick too. Maybe it'll go down like when a guy makes the Hall of Fame. Because they always do the NFL films like it started You know what I mean?

A lot of you induct him. They might have me induct everybody after this. Live from Nashville, Tennessee, this is the Pat McAfee Show. And the NFL Draft. Friday night. It's going to be on in every single bar in the country, too.

You look good. I need to get a haircut real quick. Well, we got things to do. All right. Appreciate you all so much for listening. Check out OCW. Hashtag OCW. Yeah, that's about it.

Ty Schmidt. Hit the music. Talkin' bout, runnin' your mouth, like you know me You gon' fuck around with your body, sure, make it call to show me Why 101, you can't hold me, if your last name was Haynes Only way you can work me out is to stitch my name on your pants No resident of France, but you swear I'm from Paris 106 carats, total gnaw, that's purr-ris Tryna get purr-vis, my chain's the O'Jane I'm like Sprinter, Motorola, no service, out of your range

You're out of your brains, thinkin' I'ma shout out your name You gotta come up with better ways and actions to get your aim All that pressure you were blind, it's time to ease off Before I hit you from the blinds, I'm taking your sleeves off As much as we's lost, still hard to please, boss Don't be lying, bitch, in the grind, suck it up as a loss Cause your acts is right, your whole label is right Matter of fact, I, I, I, I, I hold that

I am number one No matter if you like it or take it, sit down and write it I am number one Now let me ask you man What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers What does it take to be number one? Do you like it when I shake it for you? Daddy, move it all around Let you get a beep before it touches the ground Hell yeah, ma Never good as willing to learn

Willing to get in the driver's seat And willing to turn and not discern About that b-say, she say, did he say What I think he said, squash that Probably got that on eBay or something Internet access, some website chat line Mags like I mind, oh, don't wind up on a flat line Oh, my uncle could see me now

If he could see how many rappers wanna be me now Straight emulating my style, right to the down-down Can't leave out the store now, gotta wait till they calm down I got hella shawty, come and askin' you where to party Oh lordy, will I continue to act naughty? Mixin' Chris and Riccardi, got me thangin' for sure I'm not a man of many words But it's one thing I know, pimp

I am number one No matter if you like it or take it, sit down and write it I am number one And tell me now, what does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner, and three nobody remembers Tell me, what does it take to be number one? Ay, ay, ay, ay, yo Ayo, I'm tired of people judging what's real hip-hop

Half the time, it be them niggas who fuckin' album flop You know, done sank and it ain't left to die Mad cause I'm high, mad cause he not You ain't gotta give me my props, just give me the yachts Give me my rocks and keep my fans comin' and flocks Till you top the Super Bowl, keep your mouth on lock I'm awake I'm cocky on the mic, but I'm humble in real life

Taking nothing for granted, blessing everything on my life Trying to see a new life at the top of the roof Ain't not single, but I speak the truth I hit the roof, nearly acting so uncool Top down, shirt off in the coupe, spreading the loot With my family and friends And my closest of kin And I'll do it again if it means I'm a win

Dirty I am number one No matter if you like it Then take it, sit down and write it I, I, I, I, number one Cause two is not a winner And three nobody remembers Number one Cause two is not a winner

And three nobody remembers