The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 070 - Louisville Horses And Sluggers.. Laughs & Tears With Viral Coach

Episode Date: May 7, 2019

Today's show is packed to the gills. Pat and the guys discuss the Kentucky Derby and it's unprecedented ending, as well as who they had money on, and the Gorms giving out "winners," to the whole office. Pat remembers the few times he's been to the Kentucky Derby and what the atmosphere is like in the infield, and imagines what that weekend is like being a guest of either Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers. The guys also chat about the 1st annual Pat McAfee Foundation golf outing and remember some of their favorite foursomes that helped make the day an incredible success. The guys also cover the NHL playoffs, the NBA playoffs, and chat a little bit about movies after the release of Zac Efron's Ted Bundy movie on Netflix, as well as Adam Sandler making a return to SNL to host, and of course recap the latest episode of Game of Thrones as we are nearing the home stretch for the series. Also joining the show, is a man who recently went viral for hilariously berating the players for his Little League team, Coach Scott Bergin. He chats about his initial idea to make the videos, whether he has received any blowback from any players' parents, or parents from other teams, what he has in store in the future, and he also tells the harrowing story about he and his wife being caught in the middle of the tragic shooting in Las Vegas from a couple years back in an incredible interview (1:25:14-1:46:46). It's a fun one, come and laugh with us. Cheers.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good for us, man. A lot of you guys listening out there. You're the greatest. Continue to tell your friends that they should listen to this show for no other reason other than we are the dumbest collection of human beings ever to

be assembled on microphones in the history of microphones. Amen. Today, we prove that once again. When you think we can't get any dumber, what do we do? We dig down deep inside of ourselves, and what do we do, Ty? We get dumber. The only thing we're not dumb about is who we choose to buy our tickets from.

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Now you get to work. GetRoman.com forward slash Pat. Well, well, well. That Kentucky Derby was a bunch of shit, wasn't it? Oh, my God. I watched for four hours there just because I enjoy it. I mean, I made my lady sit down there and watch with me. They had the Oaks run, then the one on the grass,

and then the other one, and then Von Miller interviewed Tom Brady for 45 seconds. And then, I'm a Von Miller fan on the football field. Some people know they shouldn't have microphones. Von Miller was one of those guys. They put him in a weird situation. He was judging people's

clothes at one point. I was like, this is not what Von Miller deserves. Put him down there with the horses. Put him down there talking about the fucking athletes and the whole thing. Because, by the way, the horses are the star of the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. I'm very anti-more animals at this casa.

We're coming to you live from the house, by the way. Very anti-more animals at this casa guy. I think people know that. Through and through. Made Sam sign a 15-year contract that she would not bring another animal in here. She's been pushing hard for the horses and the cows. I said a miniature buck and bull, maybe. Maybe a miniature buck and bull.

But after watching the derby and all this, those horses are awesome. Beautiful. Majestic creatures. They are majestic. Just one big thing, a muscle, just sprinting around there at a rapid rate. One horsepower, all of them, by the way.

The fucking worst. You know what really is crazy, though, is you're looking at that, and it's like, wow, this horse's life is worth more than mine. His sperm. Yeah, that horse's nut is worth more than your life. It's insane to think about. There's things in this room that's worth more than my life. Yeah, for sure

but i'm just saying like you know you don't you don't think you don't think of that and you know if you're like driving by the countryside and you see a horse you wouldn't necessarily think like oh well that thing's you know more important than i am for you know the little thing swimming around that thing's ball sack that's worth more than me exactly those things running around that thing down there worth more than all of us combined so is there heists for like the sperm i i think it's pretty hard to get i mean you got to work for it i think and you got to really go for it and i'd assume they keep them locked in those barns locked them up just stud them out maximum security though a lot of people tweeting me i put out a pretty clever tweet i mean i pandered very much so to

get retweets and we've been talking about this on the last show do likes matter on twitter i guess they do matter if you're showing appreciations for somebody's brain yes but if you're trying to grow a retweet special for not like i a lot of people started quote tweeting me telling me that the like doesn't matter so they're quote tweeting me specifically for that and i appreciate that you're starting to get involved in twitter a little bit starting to get involved you can still like my shit if you like you know what i mean just because i don't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. I mean, shit, I do a lot of things you shouldn't do.

For instance, I eat 45 ounces of meat at Texas Roadhouse. And it all came out of me just a couple minutes ago. You should not do what I just did there. But Maximum Security, I put out a tweet saying, Maximum Security doesn't even know that his nut just dropped in price dramatically. A lot of retweets, a lot of retweets by people that don't know the horse game. And then all of a sudden, I got these fucking rodeo clowns come flying in. Like, no, he was still the fastest horse out there, so his nut is worth just the amount.

And that makes me question, though. Maximum Security was by far the best horse out there. From gate to fucking gate, that thing won. How did they overturn that fucking thing? I don't know why they did it. Because cuzzy got scared and bounced out for i still haven't heard any like reasoning that makes any sense we were at a place we watched it so we didn't even get to fucking hear anything mike torico was handling it very well by the way the the black italian who was very smooth was handling it this was unprecedented yeah never happened before right precedence has

been set in this particular case. The three humans from Kentucky in a very tiny room watching very, very small monitors can completely decide millions and millions of dollars to not only nutsacks, but the owners and the future runnings of everything. The way he was running, he cut off two horses on the right side, then the left side. I was like, oh, that's so awesome. They should do that more often. I find out it's apparently totally illegal. Oh, Robin is racing, I thought. That's what I thought.

Maybe let old fucking Buckaroo go ahead and shave some hoofs out there. You know what I mean? Protect that lead. A lot of people told me it was jockey air. Oh, really? A lot of people told me it was jockey air. User air. Yeah, exactly, because he bounced out human air,

because he bounced out four things. I guess if go out like one or two it's okay he went over four though knocked a one cuzzy into one cuzzy that knocked into 20 great move somehow i thought so too like cut him off anytime i'm on a go-kart by the way if your motherfucking ass is coming out just know you're gonna banana peel by the way that is mario classic mario kart they said the young horse got scared though maximum security was a young horse. Heard the roar of the 150,000 soaking wet human beings. We'll talk about that in a minute. Soaking fucking wet out there.

I couldn't imagine being in a worse place. In my head, it was cold. It was rainy. I guess there was a lot of gambling and alcohol. Those mint juleps taste like asshole. I am sick of those being pushed all over everything. And I got a lot of tweets from the locals that were saying, like, that's how we know if somebody's from here or not.

We can charge them triple for something called a mint julep. I've been there, and they have charged me triple for it. And every single time I drink it, I go, they should not be promoting this shit. Here we are. They still are. But they said the horse got scared, bounced out. Fucking what?

14-minute discussion or something like that? 22-minute. 22-minute discussion overturn something like that? Yeah, 22-minute. 22-minute discussion overturned. I mean, that was insane. I think it was the way he clipped the foot or the... Pushed, yeah. Pushed the one up. Yeah.

I think it was actually the one horse. And you should tell those rodeo clowns, by logic, he cheated, so he wasn't the fastest one. Oh, so you're saying you're on the side of the other... You're on house security side. I'm just saying like he had to cheat to win. House security. A little mix of the two. No, simply saying

fuck, get that one. But if they're going to overturn it, right, that's biologic, like he had to cheat, so he wasn't the best, so his sperm can't be worth as much. He was still, they're saying he was still the fastest horse by far because he was off the jump all the way through. He was the fastest horse.

God, that sucks then. I don't know how you overturned that. Well, that's what the issue is. And this is just like with NFL and everything that involves replay. They should tell the commentators what they're thinking so that sets expectation of people listening. I know nothing about horse racing. Absolutely not.

I'll bet the shit out of some of these ponies. I know who's supposed to win, who's not supposed to win. They changed it to a sloppy track about three minutes before takeoff, by the way. I think that should have been known in advance when it was raining for 48 hours straight. They're like, well, they keep it sealed here. And I was like, how are they sealing it?

Oh, they just rake it? That doesn't sound like that's a sealed job at all. They're like, well, it's been moved from a fast to a sloppy track. It's like, well, anybody with a brain knows that. Go ahead and ask all the fucking blacked out kids in the infield. They've been sloppy for a long time. But they didn't do that until the end. So I don't know much about horse racing.

But you got Mike Tirico and all the people that are experts in there being like, this never happened before. Maximum security was the best horse, the fastest horse. There's no way they'll overturn this. So watching, the expectation now has been set that if they overturn this, this is a wild move, that maximum security does not deserve this, all this stuff. And then wham, out of nowhere, they don't even tell us.

We watch the reaction of the country house people flip out. And then Mike Tirico goes, oh, I guess it's been overturned. You guess. Can I not give a heads up to the guy that's fucking been sitting here for 22 minutes confused off his fucking ass I think that's just something they gotta start doing is start telling the commentators like maybe just drop it in their ear like hey this could

potentially get overturned so maybe let's soften the blow just a little bit other than that I enjoyed the hell out of it I mean it's just one day of the year you might as well just watch all the horses you can watch. It was some tough shit that they were cutting to, though. There's this guy named Rutt. I don't know his name.

Rutt Lidge. He was with Dale Earnhardt Jr. They cut to him for some Q&As. Riveting. Fucking riveting. Riveting. They're going to have like 20, 30 million people watching. Everybody and their mom's watching that thing.

Starts too late. East Coast time starts way too late. Well, they start the coverage really early too. Yeah, they do. Which they make you feel like it's going to start at like 5.30 or 6. Yes. It didn't start until fucking 7 o'clock. You're right.

I thought it was on at 6. So at 3.30, I tell Sam like, hey, 4 o'clock comes. We're going to go ahead and watch these two hours of pony talk. And then we're going to watch the ponies run for two minutes. We get to 6 o'clock mike trico's like a little less than an hour to go i'm like what the fuck you mean mike what are we gonna do then we learned a history behind the trumpet guy yep he's talented by the way oh yeah whenever he got the job in 1995 he showed up in jorts in a hoodie did he yeah I'm a big fan of that guy. He sucked on a microphone.

He did an interview with Dale Earnhardt Jr. It wasn't great, but you get him on that goddamn trumpet, he really blows, you know what I mean? I'm a big trumpet guy. Yeah, are you? Oh, yeah. That's kind of your thing?

Oh, yeah. Who's your favorite trumpet player? Just me, myself. I'm a big trumpet player myself. Oh, you play? Oh, yeah. So you wouldn't even get credit to like Sashmo or Timmy Trump

Yeah so fucking respect For Louis Armstrong I was about to say Louis If I was going to say one person CK First name basis That's Luis Hey he's Hispanic

He's Mexican Yeah We did not I did not know that Show some respect to that Louis CK is Mexican Yeah Louis

Really CK Yeah So I'm happy like white people Don't have to take credit For what he was doing Pretty excited to wait Because we get a bad rap He's half What's that He's half Okay CK. Yeah. So I'm happy white people don't have to take credit for what he was doing. Pretty excited.

Because we get a bad rap. He's half. What's that? He's half. Okay. I mean, I just learned that the other day. You've been to the Kentucky Derby, though, obviously? Oh, yeah.

Is it fun? Like, I'm watching. It looks fun. From my perspective, I want to go. I've never been. But everyone I've talked to has kind of been like, well, it's tough because it's Louisville. Yeah. Right.

So it's kind of a small city, but just like the Indianapolis motor speedway, whenever you get in there, it's a good time. Cause you're just amongst the wave of humans. You're all in, you're all got the same thing in your mind. We're all overdressed.

We all look ridiculous. It's very muddy. We're all getting very intoxicated and gambling on these horses. We know nothing about. Right. Right. So it's a team thing. It's like,

yeah, you're going for the one. I'm fucking, I'll go over to one too. Well, the one's a team thing. It's like, oh, you're going for the one. Fuck it. I'll go for the one, too. Well, the one's been scratched. Oh, fuck it. We'll go for the number two. Well, two's not in this race.

You got to go for the 14. Oh, fuck it. 14's been running good. I know the owner. I talked to the trainer earlier today. All that shit happens. You know what I mean? There's cigars.

There's the terrible, juleps being shoved down your face. There's shots everywhere. You're kind of in a wave but then as soon as it ends as soon as it ends you get a hundred thousand people filtering out of there and there's nowhere to go like because everything's shut down around there so you're you're walking a good five six miles afterwards so it's it's quite a sobering experience afterwards if you if you're not set up like especially if you lose all your money yeah which everybody was doing i guess this year but it's one of those things where it's awesome because

you're drunk in the party but at some point it ends and that is the moment that it really hits home and that's the indy 500 comparison exactly indy 500 is the same thing everybody in there is having a great time and then as soon as it's over it's like all right where do we got to go now oh you got to walk 40 miles due West. And then you'll possibly pick up an Uber if there's any left. And then when you get in that Uber, there's 45 road shutdown. So you're going to drive to Illinois first before you can get back to the house. Like that's exactly what it's like in Louisville.

I had a blast there. I've had a blast there numerous times. I have not done the Tom Brady, Aaron Rogers route where they where they're paying 10 000 a seat and i'm assuming that's a great time i'm assuming they're having an absolute blast up there they're covered you can bet right there you don't have to walk through a long line you don't have to piss and other people's piss and shit and other people's shit and all that stuff but i think one day we'll probably all go and do that so you've always been in the infield always yeah yeah i'm an infield we went two years ago we didn't actually go to the race.

We went to that party, though, and we met Guy Fieri, and he was a huge douche. That was Nick Moraldo. Statements from Nick Moraldo do not... Reflect? Reflect the opinions of everybody. I was trying to read a Twitter bio there. Like the newscasters.

They got like 1,400 followers at a checkmark. My opinions do not reflect that of my employer. It's like, thanks, Weatherman. We know you take shots at fucking sports. Why don't you relax a little bit? RTs do not equal endorsement. Yes. Some people have like the actual.

Yeah, like the equals with the slash through it. Yeah, relax. That is what retweets me. Just for future reference, that is what retweets me. Yeah, right. Just for future reference, that is what retweets me. Welcome to Twitter, weatherman. Did you see that $100,000 toss out of Amendola? I did.

I think it was close, too. It was very, very close. The night before is a good time. Yeah. 4th Street Live is a good time. It's like kind of their strip of bars there. It's all covered in. It gets lit.

There's a lot of parties down there, a lot of big money people spending money down there. The horse community is a big, big money community. So those parties are probably a good time. I've never been to one. I went to Howl at the Moon down there the night before and ended up passed out on a bench outside. Got woken up by the rain. Then I walked into the infield. That was a couple years before me getting woken up by the rain

and getting arrested for it, allegedly, of course. Very likely. But, yeah, there's a lot of stuff going down there. Tom Brady's hat was incredible. Absolutely incredible. I like what him and Aaron Rodgers do, though. You know, that's like the perfect guy strip. It's gambling.

There's drinking. There's horses. And here in Kentucky, there's not really much else to do. that's a good camaraderie building situation i like that a lot and by the way danny amandola hates that or hits that i'm excited for tom brady to potentially pull a hundred thousand dollars out of his back fucking heart easily you know what i mean absolutely just like here you go danny you've had a rough go on the internet anyways here's a hundred grand real quick danny amandola is yet to me on Instagram. I thought he and I were friends. We once partied in New Mexico, almost ended up in Old Mexico,

and I honestly thought we'd be friends. I followed him on Instagram. He wouldn't follow me back. He's got some stuff going on. He's on the lines now, so things are looking up. Now we're talking. Gets a move to Detroit. Yep.

Bet you he's jacked. I bet he's so happy. Julian Edelman follows me on Instagram. I found that out today because I was looking through the photo of Tom Brady and everybody, and I clicked on it and all the names on there. I'm friends with quite a few people that are in there. I'm like, I wonder if I'm going to maybe fall into this list someday. You know what I mean?

I'm friends with a lot of these people. Like Lonnie Paxton, okay, long snapper for a long time. Bomani Jones, went after him on ESPN because he was on the far left, and he was like oh this guy is a friend of a friend obviously it's like that guy won like three super long stopper but no he's like the head of gopro i mean that guy's a pretty important fucking guy over there bomani uh but i follow him so i clicked on his photo and i saw danny mandola i'm like oh good old danny me and. I click on it. It doesn't have the follow back thing on there.

Oh, my God. So we're friends, Danny. So I get out of there. And I click on Tom Brady. He doesn't follow me as well. Understandable. I mean, he and I really have never talked. I think he respects the game, though.

If I had to guess, I'd say Tom Brady has heard a story about me. And he goes, I respect that guy. Or complete opposite. Then I click on Julian Edelman, and it says follow back right there. And I'm like, Jules, my guy, follow you back. So look for Julian Edelman to make an appearance on this show. Let's go.

Super Bowl MVP. He is Super Bowl MVP. Probably the greatest catch in Super Bowl history. Won me a lot of money. That little titty grab. Yep. I'd say that. Little titty grab. Not a lot'd say that. Little titty grab.

Not a lot of people love the Julian. Yeah, Santonio Holmes' catch is better. Santonio's sitting in the bus with me, right in front of me. Good guy. I'd say he's a good guy. Right? Good guy. I actually said to him, greatest catch in Super Bowl history.

So I want to let you know, in his face, I said, greatest catch in Super Bowl history. He thinks you think that that's his greatest catch. In his mind, he thinks that I said that. On this show, I definitely, yes, absolutely. I'll gas anybody up right to their face for sure. Just whether or not they know if I'm fucking with them or not. I think that might be one of my best qualities. We interrupt this incredible conversation to let you know

that Pro Flowers is ready to make you look like the greatest son or daughter on planet earth let's go don't forget to thank the real pros this mother's day where would you be without your mom quick answer nowhere dead real answer from nick right there uh i love my mother obviously because she gave birth to me. Also, because she's my number one supporter. She's also the lady who decided that she was going to be the one that keeps me humble throughout my life, which normally means pointing out most of the things I did wrong throughout my entire life,

which made for some very intimate conversations between her and I. And she has now become my number one fan, number one supporter, and lady that I lean to whenever I need to ask a question about certain things in my life. I hope you have this similar relationship with your mother. I hope you and your mom get along very well. In this Mother's Day, what you should do is show her that you love her. Don't be a fucking asshole.

You looking at me? Yeah. I actually already got my mom some flowers for Mother's Day. Hey, maybe that's the rules of this Mother's Day. Don't be a fucking asshole. Yeah, there you go. Love it. This isn't in script, and we're probably going to get in trouble for it, but I'd like to

say this. Pro Flowers and Pat McAfee Show 2.0 say, don't be a fucking asshole this Mother's Day. Take care of the most important lady in your life, your mom. I got a chance to send a bouquet to my mother last year. She loved it because there's unique vases that suit every single mom's style. Then simply select a delivery date that you want, and voila, all work is done. You look like a hero. They're happy with the flowers.

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for $19.99. Be a hero. Be the greatest son or daughter on planet Earth and visit proflowers.com. Click the microphone in the upper right corner and enter code America. That's P-R-O-F-L-O-W-E-R-S.com. Click the microphone because that's what we do. Yep. We talk in a microphone.

And enter code America. Mother's Day is May 12th, so don't wait. Order like a pro and get this amazing rose deal to thank all the moms in your life. That's right. I got to get something for Sam too because we got 45 fucking animals here. And she's the mom, you know, because she didn't actually birth them. But she has mothers. She cares for them.

She nurtures them. I mean, I gave catnip the the other day so maybe i'm mom too anybody ever talk about that probably not now we do i probably shouldn't in public hope we don't ever talk about it again either whoa oh is that right now it's just it's a bit awkward it's uncomfortable now it's only awkward if you make it awkward i think that's rule number one of life i feel pretty comfy free right now. Free the nipple. I said something terrible about a guy because I thought the walls were a little thicker than they were. He could hear every word I said.

I had to go hang out with that guy for four hours. I was told right before I got in there that that guy heard everything I said. I was faced with a challenge. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Fuck it. I walked right in there and said hello to that guy told him how big of a fan i was of his he knew that i do and i knew that he knew

but for those four hours nobody knew nothing no one because it's only awkward if you make it awkward i gave my nipple to a cat it's not awkward you're making it extra awkward now you're doubling down on the awkward did you not just hear the rule that i literally just stated with research behind it it's only awkward if you make it awkward you're making it but you made it awkward who did you i think you brought it up again no zito tell him please yeah you're making it awkward because research says my research correct it's thin walls i don't know if i trust your research whoa no no i definitely I definitely heard what he said. And it was terrible. It was terrible.

It was true. It was all very true. But I wasn't supposed to know. Somebody told me something. I said, are you kidding me? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're like, he definitely just heard you. I said, how do you know?

And I heard like a knock on the wall. He's like, is that him? I'm like, yeah. Sounds like this is on the the contractor that built this wall and then we had to go into his room four hours it's only awkward if you make it awkward nick and you're choosing to make this awkward you ever give your cat a nipple don't have a cat seems like your problem do you have a. Pup cat. Say that's not most of the time, but yeah, we have them. You did not give an answer, though.

If you had a cat, would you give your cat a nipple if it needed it? No, I don't think so. Really? Not my nipple. What nipple would you give it? Probably bottle feed it. Okay, all those things I just said was just to see if you would give your cat a nipple, by the way. That whole thing I just did there.

Yeah. I didn't actually give my cat a nipple. There was no milk in there. I knew that. But you would bottle feed a cat? It's because you're a good guy. Look what I just did for you there. That thing with the kid, though, did happen.

And I did have to sit directly next to him for four hours. He never talked to me again after that day. Good for him, though, bottling his emotions for four hours. Never did talk to me again. I fucking high-fived him the whole thing. I was like, yeah, bottling his emotions for four hours. Never did talk to me again. I fucking high-fived him the whole thing. I was like, yeah, you're awesome, man. Just less than 30 seconds after streaming some terrible thing about him. He deserved it.

He's a bad guy. Or am I the bad guy? Nick would give a nipple to a cat, though. That's what we learned here today. Back to the conversation. I was ready to go to war today at the fucking gas station, wasn't I? Yeah, Pat was. Oh, I was excited.

So we go to a sketchy gas station right by the office. We won't call it what it's called. No. The guy who owns it has the last name. It's a marathon. It's a marathon gas station. Very sketchy. Our office is not in the greatest part of town.

Blocked north of the library. If you want some books, head to our area. Want some meth? Also head to our area. But we lock it in. We have a good time. There's a gas station, though, that's a three-minute walk away that has everything in it. Just most hood gas stations, by the way, are a pharmacy.

They're a grocery store. They're everything you need. That's just the way it is. So we head over there on a regular basis. Today we head over there, and a guy has sweatpants on. And you can clearly see in his sweatpants a gun being underneath his sweats, like in the front there. So I see it as we're walking in.

A heater. Yeah, yeah. He's got a Glock. He's got like a Glock tucked in there. Can clearly see it through his sweatpants. It's like I'm trying to make sure he doesn't see me look at his penis and at his gun. Like both guns there.

The one that kills people and the one that impregnates people. Right there, right next to each other. So like as he's walking in, I'm like, oh, okay, I'm a pretty observant guy. I'm like, okay, this guy has a gun in his pants. Great. So we walk in. Standard, by the way, for this guest. He did not stop me from going in. I was like, yeah, yeah, this is how it goes. I get it, man. You do what you gotta do. I'm gonna come in. Standard, by the way, for this guest. He did not stop me from going in. I was like, yeah, yeah, this is operate.

This is how it goes. I get it, man. You do what you got to do. I'm going to come in. Actually, I think I held the door for him almost. I was like, after you, sir, go ahead. So he goes in. He goes to the side of the register where the bathroom is.

But also, he was looking at our guy that owns the place. So I head to the back to get my water. And I got my eye on this guy. And I go to the tie. I go, guy's got a gun. And he goes, who? And I go, the back to get my water and I got my eye on this guy and I go to the guy I go guys got a gun and he goes who and I go the guy right back there and I I'm getting excited at this point I'm like here we go this is

coming I'm gonna go spear a fucking guy who's holding up a gas station I cannot wait everybody's gonna see it it's gonna be on 720 HD or whatever the fuck those cameras on you're just gonna see a guy come flying in wearing a Saturday's hat i was gonna tell natural light they owe me because i was gonna come in god just went to the bathroom just went to

the bathroom had my eyes on him the whole time and he just walked i think he even said goodbye to everybody in there like see you guys like see you man and he just walked out i'm like fuck son of a bitch nervous though like he knew that you're watching me he was like i can't do it i don't know that's something to think about. I mean, I had my sleeve of sodium on, so he saw my arms. I did arms this morning. You really have been waiting for that moment, though. Oh, yeah, forever.

Like, 100%. Yeah, I'm excited for it. Just like in this house. Like, I'm just waiting for somebody to walk in. Just wait for it. Like, if they shoot me, eh, whatever. I mean, what happens? Oh, he walked in.

He said, I got one gun. This guy's got two. Oh, because I was wearing sleeveless. I hear what you said. Big arm day this morning. Big arm day this morning. Big arm day this morning. Had a lot of carbs this weekend, too. So there was a little vascularity there on the left bicep.

I wasn't playing no fucking games. I was so pumped for it, though. I told Ty while we were getting water. Ty goes, oh, great. The guy's going to shoot me in the fucking head. That's what Ty said. Ty and I had two very different outlooks on it. Well, I thought I'd be the one who takes a bullet in the head

and then Pat immediately avenges my death. So I was okay with that, too. And for the story, I'm mourning my friend while being a hero. You know what I mean? That's a beautiful tragedy, though. I would have asked Singh, the guy that owns the place, to blur out my hat, though, if they would have given me money. Yeah, well, yeah, you have to.

Yeah. Like, we love natural light we love natter days but i mean that that's probably gonna go if i fucking yeah i'd say so if i fucking goldberg a guy who's holding up gas station speaking of violent murders did you watch the zach efron netflix movie so i know a lot about ted bundy i listen to the tapes i feel like i know a lot about him so we didn't learn anything really new about it kind of slow but i did think it was interesting how that girl was her life was ruined by him yeah without us ever knowing that whole story that whole side of it and then how about i don't want to do any spoilers but he admitted to 30 murders uh mostly

because of a girl he fell in love with whenever he was young and i think i think it's worth the watch i think zach aferon did a great job i think yeah a lot of cool girl he fell in love with whenever he was young. And I think it's worth the watch. I think Zac Efron did a great job. I think he was good. A lot of cool little character elements in there that were really cool to see. Yeah, I think he did a great job. I knew nothing about Ted Bundy, so I loved it. I thought it was absolutely insane.

Did you watch The Doc on Netflix before? No, no, no. That was like my first Ted Bundy thing. Go back and watch that. I loved it. Go back and watch that because they show a lot more interviews of him. It kind of freaks me out how much I know about all these fucking terrible human beings. Well, it. Go back and watch that because they show a lot more interviews of him. Okay. It kind of freaks me out

how much I know about all these fucking terrible human beings. Well, it's interesting. It is. How does a human act that way? I don't know. It's crazy.

And he was even a whole other level because he was so normal. Super charismatic. Charming, they would say. Smart. Smart. And then all of a sudden

you just flip a trigger and all of a sudden he's got a hacksaw out. See you later. See you fucking later. Without spoiling at the end, do you think that was real? That scene, you think? No, it was quite Hollywood. I felt so confident it was real.

But I do think she was part of the whole process of getting him to do that whole thing. You know what I mean? It was crazy, though. I didn't know that happened. I thought he was kind of like this lone wolf out there. I was very curious to see what happened to his child. That's what I was going to.

And I started Googling it and trying to go down a wormhole. She changed the fuck out of her name. Yeah, you can't find any information. How about him creating a daughter, though? Like, he's probably the biggest terrorist. There has to be a lot of eyes on that daughter, right? No, but what I'm saying is he's like the worst guy in the history to women. Yeah.

I think documented. I think a good karma from whichever god you believe in whether it's austin cawley the jesus one austin cawley mormon you get it tom cruise the whole thing him getting a daughter is incredible yeah the rumor too that uh the person who executed him actually was a woman yeah under the hood one under a hood though well that's that's what executioners do i didn't know that oh yeah hide their face just in case just in case the person survives yeah or they just see your face was that called the um the one with the guy from uh ps i love you uh law-abiding citizens there it

is the um gerard butler that's his name. Good pull. That is his name. I feel good about that. I watched PS I Love You one time at a hotel night before a game. Got a bit emotional. That's because that would really get you going. It might have been the day of the game, actually, because we had a night game. So we were sitting in that hotel all day, and there was nothing else on, so I watched it. I'm just fucking getting emotional.

He's a romantic guy. Four hours from kickoff, and I'm just like, oh. It's a sad movie. Oh, my God. It's a sad movie. Is it fucked up, it fucked up though that he kept saying letters yeah he was kind of holding her hostage that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying huh just like that bunny was doing to this lady p.s i killed him fuck you but um the daughter that one the guy doesn't die and that one the guy doesn't die because they put too much water in the thing. Right?

When they're doing the lethal injection? Yeah, law-abiding citizen, the guy doesn't die because they put too much water in the thing. Because there's like a science behind it, I guess. So I guess that wouldn't be a time you wouldn't show your face because you could potentially live. But I don't know. I feel like the person should want to be known. Like, yeah, it was me, motherfucker. I killed you. Like, I think one of the victims should be able to be able to you should build a bid like an auction that's

what i think i've always said this about pedophiles where there's if there's beyond reasonable doubt like if there is so much sentences passed no more appeals like if we know yeah oh because he did it like let's at least raise some money for foundations here. You know what I mean? Like I've said this. Jerry Sandusky should be paraded around city to city. Everybody who had to hear about it, you pay $20, you get to punch him in the face. Like, I don't understand.

You done for a good stoning? You want to stone him? Yeah, that's what I would say. Well, I don't want to throw. Public execution. $20, what did you miss? No, no, no. You're getting handfuls of rocks for $20. I don't know if you're paying $20, what did you miss? No, no, no. You're getting handfuls of rocks for $20.

I don't know if I'd be up there with $20. But we don't want him to die, right? Because we want other people to be up there. We want to take him to another city. You know what I mean? Like that type of thing. Like with Ted Bundy, I mean, he should have had to go from Washington to Colorado to Utah to Florida and let people, you know, like do their thing to him. That's what I think.

Oh great, I'm probably going to get attacked for not caring about his rights enough. But, I mean, he was a bad guy. I think you forfeit those rights when you kill 30 people. Bad guy? At least 30. Yeah, right. At least 30. Exactly, that they know of. At least 30 people. That's insane. I watched Dateline on Friday night too.

It was another insane one. It was a crazy one. These two guys. These two guys. They were doing it. They were bank robbers. They were fucking doing it. They had masks, just like we've been talking about. Because with these cameras, they're all so bad.

The 720p we just talked about for the spearing of the guy with the guns. They're all so bad. If you put on a fake tattoo, you just leave these investigators on a fucking goose chase. That's a good point. These two guys did that. They had masks on with fake tattoos on their necks investigators on a fucking goose chase that's a good point these two guys did that they had masks on with fake tattoos on the next like a big sunburst tattoo and they would come in and they would hold up uh they'd walk into people's houses like ceos of credit unions hold them hostage and say you're gonna go in and take uh a million dollars from your own credit union in the morning strap strap a fake bomb to them, send them in there.

They get their own money. They come out. They give them the money. They would take off, leave, vanish, see you later. Who are we looking for? We're looking for a black guy who has a sunburst tattoo here on his neck. One was a woman. They had a mask on with a ladies thing.

They had an altered voice. They kept them blindfolded and put headphones on them and talked into like an auto-tune thing. So every- It was T-Pain. It was. Everybody thought- But every cop thought the CEO was in on it

because the story was so outlandish. So it was like, oh, the guy came into my house. He put a blindfold on me, put headphones on, and then it was like a disheveled voice. And then the bomb was a fake bomb. So the cops would take it off. It was like a disheveled voice and then the bomb was a fake bomb so the cops would like take it off it's like this isn't a real bomb this person you

said did what they never hurt you they never did anything to you and they wanted you to take 200 000 from your own thing then they would dig into these people's lives like oh you like to gamble don't you are you in debt right now blah blah blah these guys are just living in terror they're like oh i think this guy's gonna come kill us went on this eight-month run where they got like $10 million. No, that's way too much. Maybe a couple million. But he just got greedy. I don't know why you would continue to do it.

They got arrested, blah, blah, blah. Taxes. But these criminals are next-level intelligent. It never made sense to me. I don't know why they don't. Back in the day, I feel like it was so easy to be a criminal, right? You just walk in with a gun. You get the money. You're out. Nowadays, I feel like there why they don't. Back in the day, I feel like it was so easy to be a criminal, right? You just walk in with a gun. You get the money.

You're out. Nowadays, I feel like there's so much work. There's so much work you have to put in to be a good criminal. Do you think that's why the guy didn't do it today? Probably. Because there was like eight of us in there. Well, it was a Monday. He probably didn't feel like putting in a lot of effort on a Monday.

Everybody hates Mondays. We should go back tomorrow. I think he's going to go in. He might. It'd be a rainy day, too. Probably wake up in a bad mood. See, I wonder if guys like that think, too, like, okay, well, I'm already going to rob this place. If it comes to it, I don't want to have to add four or five murders to it.

Yeah, exactly. Murder? You think we'd die in there? At least attempted. Well, we weren't the only ones in there. I mean, there was that old lady. There's only one thing dead, and that's the window he was standing right in front of when I speared him.

I am leaving my feet going. And it is weird that I have these dreams of doing this. Yeah. I just, I honestly do. That's why you'll hear me later whenever we talk to Scott Burgin, the baseball coach that went viral this weekend for his hilarious quips. You're going to find out he was a part of the fucking Vegas massacre shooting.

He was there, and I asked him about, like, how did you react? Because people always say, you don't know how you'll react in this situation. I've honestly just been waiting for one of these situations to happen to see how I'll react, mostly, just to see how I'll react. I'm happy it's never happened. Oh, boy, today I thought was it, Ty. Yeah, I mean, well, if we see that guy again, we'll know. Well, if I see his dick and a gun, I mean, I know that there's definitely a problem. I know there's definitely a problem.

The NHL is still happening? Yep. It's awesome. Bruins just won. It's going to be Bruins and Carolina Hurricanes. Stanley Cup? Stanley Cup conference finals. Nope.

We've got to figure out who's playing right now with San Jose and Colorado. And whoever wins that, if San Jose closes that out, they will play in the Western Conference Final. Against who? The winner of Dallas and St. Louis, which will be Game 7 tonight to win the Sayers. Okay.

So hockey's still happening. Still happening. Is Boston going to win it all? I think a lot of people think Carolina might win it all, the way they've been playing. Hey, that guy lost his mind about Carolina not being professional. He was dressed like an asshole, calling them jerks. Who is this guy?

Don Cherry. He's like, I'm trying to think of what you can compare him to in American. He's like Dick Vitale, kind of. Kind of, yeah. But a little more outrageous and a little more senile. These kids are making no money.

I don't know who you can compare him to in football in the NFL. Grigson? That's what he sounded like when I was listening. Well, Jerry actually coached, and he was a decent coach back in the day. What happened? Why was he so angry?

It's still about the celebration thing? Take it easy, bub. You're literally dressed like a jackass. He called them frontrunners because they weren't supposed to be very good coming into the season. They haven't been good for the past couple years, and now they're good, and they're selling out the arena. They're a bunch of frontrunning jerks down here in Carolina.

Well, that's just not how the word front-runners works, though. That's not. They only show up when the team's good. You know, it's the fair weather type thing. That's what he's trying to say. Oh, the fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fans.

Okay, because front-runners usually involves players. You know, like these guys only perform whenever they're in the lead. They're front-runners. Anytime there's a sense of struggle, they kind of disappear. But that would make no sense if they are winning, and they are that. Like, no, they're just winning at this point you can only call them front runners once there's a little bit of adversity and they all decide to disappear some people would argue that odell beckham jr in new york was a front runner some would argue that i would say he was a great dressed

man just like he was last night wearing a fucking skirt and a cutoff at that metlife gala you were not a fan of that huh you were not a fan of that. Huh? You were not a fan of that look, huh? A lot of dudes wearing dresses these days. Is that the new thing? Are we wearing a kilt? I almost got kicked off of a show for wearing tuxedo shorts.

And now we just got a bunch of dudes wearing dresses everywhere. Is that the new thing? Well, the Met Gala encourages you to dress like the biggest asshole possible. What is the Met Gala? I'm not sure. I honestly am not sure. I know they all take pictures outside, but what the fuck happens once you get in there?

It's like the most exclusive event in New York. The lady who runs it is like a big time fashion designer, I think, and you have to be invited by her to get in there. But what happens once you get in there? I see all the photos, but what happens inside of there? I think there's like a fashion show, and then I'm sure there's like

some sort of like charity fundraiser type thing. I don know it's just right that's i always thought it was illuminati gathering and then i saw some no-name motherfuckers they're dressed ridiculous i was like that guy didn't get an illuminati no way there's one guy half his face was uh uh a woman's makeup and then half his face was a beard and then he wore a tux on one half and a dress on the other half. I thought it was so creative. I really did. I thought it was very incredible.

But I looked at it and I was like, I have no idea who that guy is. I used to think this was the Illuminati but there ain't no way Jay-Z's letting that motherfucker in. And that's why I said no. It's just a spectacle at this point, right? That's what it is. You think I'll ever get invited to that?

Billy McFarlane could probably get you in. What was that? He was selling tickets. Oh, yeah, he was. Frank. What was the name? John. Frank.

From New York or something like that. New York tickets from Frank. He's cooking something. Sounds credible, yeah. Yeah, he's writing an autobiography right now. No, Frank? No, no, no. I wrote that one. The Frank guy. I don't think Frank is.

Speaking of Frank, it leads me to Adam Sandler for this is Frank's shirt. Is that Billy Madison? He did Saturday Night Live. They led off with a family feud that was very interesting. Whenever you have Adam Sandler there, that's interesting to me.

Yeah. Ooh. Whee. Him and Chris Rock led off the monologue with a song about being fired from NBC. And then Adam Sandler had a great joke about going on for his movies to make $2 billion or something like that. I'm like, you're fucking right. I've seen the one that probably made you the most money.

It was called... What was it called, Nick? The Cobbler? Nope. No. Sandy. You'd probably rather watch The Cobbler than Sandy. People are crazy. I don't think that's a good movie, though. Sandy Wexler was a great movie. You think everything's a good movie. I just think you're uneducated if you don't think that's a good movie. Z Sandy Wexler was a great movie. That's what I'm saying. You think everything's a good movie.

I just think you're uneducated if you don't think that's a good movie. Zito's never seen a bad movie in his life. Zito just for arguments Oh no what was the one movie?

We saw it the other day. Yeah. It was a bad movie. The Matt Damon. Downsizing. Downsizing. Oh you're right you're right. Bad movie.

Only one. Zito tell him it's a bad movie. It's a horrible movie Nick. Zito has the ability to hate movies. He only likes good movies like Sandy. Yep. Two billion movie, Nick. Zito has the ability to hate movies. He only likes good movies, like Sandy. Yep. Two billion at the box.

Zito liked the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer. The trailer that was so bad. No, I said I liked the Coolio song in the background. The internet bullied it. Gangster's Paradise. Amazing. The internet bullied the studio into taking it back and reworking all the goddamn CGI in the movie

because it was so bad. I heard they made that thing a transgender Sonic the Hedgehog. It did not look good. It's a transgender hedgehog. He's like 6'5". Watch the way you're saying it. I'm just saying he's super tall. You keep saying he.

Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. He, she, it. Yeah, Sonic technically isn't it. Yeah. But it is like 6'5". I want to let you know the tweet announcing that Sonic the Hedgehog was transgender used the pronoun he in the tweet.

Oh, someone really tweeted that? Yes. And I was like, oh, no, they don't even know what they just got into. They opened the door and then slammed it in the face of transgenders. So Sonic the Hedgehog was a very ugly hedgehog, though. I mean, it's a fucking hedgehog though it's hard to fuck up is it you look at the video game and you say okay let's make that but here and they went fucking out here instead oh makes no sense classic you know i bet you'll be

a bad movie unlike sandy good movie so adam sandler and chris rock talk about being fired from nbc and then they take a couple of jabs i didn't watch the rest of the show i passed out because i was tired from the horse horses being so heartbroken for maximum security and excited for uh folgers house country house i was so excited for country house 65 to 1. Jacob Tamme, old teammate of mine. I think he's a part of the ownership. Oh, wow. Nice. I think he is. I don't know.

He was either a guest of theirs or part owner. He was way good for him. He was in the fucking winner's circle with them. I was like, good for Jacob Tamme. Yeah, I won $500. I was happy about it. I like that. I had them both.

I had Maximum Security and Country House. Oh, yeah. You did that Alonzo morning gift. It was a good gift, by the way. I had them both. I had Maximum Security and Country House. Oh, yeah. You did that Alonzo morning gift. It was a good gift, by the way. Yeah, thank you. It's one of my favorites. I mean, things are okay. That's kind of what that gift is.

It's like, oh, no. Oh, no. Well, things aren't that bad. That's exactly what it is. You tweeted that out because you bet them both. You hedged your bets there. See, me and Foxy, we were told by our horse guy in the office, here's a gift from me to you, is what he said.

Here's a gift from me to you. Improbable is a lock, Gorman says. Me to you. Pony's been running good. Gift. Improbable. Like birthday presents. Me to you.

He does this chest pat To like my chest Like As if he's like Really Mean So much confidence I think it was even on my birthday

It was It was on my birthday As a gift from Meteor Because he didn't give me a birthday gift Right So he gave me that as a birthday gift So I hammered home Improbable

Me too So much confidence I didn't have a horse I didn't know who I was going to pick He tells me this Here we go I don't know horses i was learning about all these other horses there's a japanese horse they had a 57 to 1 in america 20 to 1 in japan that thing got crushed 10 million dollars they said they made off of that horse from gambling gamblers in japan jeez yeah they were like um what's that place called down there the uh the derby area

they call it something the whole thing the kentucky derby happens at churchill downs nice terrico's like the downs will make 10 million dollars off of this horse um if it doesn't win by the way in gambling and everybody was basically like uh the only reason why this horse is allowed in here is so that the entire country of japan will gamble on it and churchill downs can just fucking rake cash they love horse racing over there in japan by the way they showed videos as soon as they open the gates they sprint in there to get the closest to the thing closest to the bedding they love it like i think we should almost start sending fucking maximum house over there to

japan and just kind of clean house out you know i mean maybe country house named clean house fucking wipe it out they absolutely love it but i hammer improbable yep me too hammer because gorman our horse guy studies horses says he speaks to horses called himself a horse whisperer at one point only guy i know that cares anything about the fucking ponies. He has a magazine he reads about these fucking horses when you're like a little young two-year-old in the Phillies and this and all the other horse shit.

Literally, he reads it all. And he goes from me to you, and the problem was a lock. Then I turned on the Diplo remix of Old Town Road. Guess what's on there? Fucking chestnut horse, which means orange horse. Because they had anut horse, which means orange horse. Because they had a black horse, which was Lil Nas X. Yeah, yeah.

White horse was Billy Ray Cyrus. And then Diplo gets in there like, orange horse. Add him to the song's cover art. Ginger horse. Yeah, it's a ginger horse. Improbable is a ginger horse. So between the lock from our horse guy, Gorman, to Diplo's new remix, it's an average remix, by the way. I think we could have made the remix.

Can you remix it and add another horse on there? Yourself? I think so. You want a Cuban horse on there? Yes, please. With a cigar in his mouth? I think a gold horse. Take it easy.

Pull a Mustangs? Maybe. Purple? A couple of golden ponies? I think it was the golden ponies. Maybe we put a Cuban horse on there. I don't know how we do that, but was the golden ponies. Maybe we put a Cuban horse on her. I don't know how we do that, but we'll figure it out. We'll put a Cuban horse on her and make a remix.

We could do more to the remix than Diplo did, by the way. He put a couple of ringtones underneath. Smart by him, though. Smart. Get in there. He'll do the festival. He'll play it. This is my remix.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is. So I was like, it's a lock. I go ahead and hammer Improbable. I want to be a part of the action. I sit through two hours of nonsense telling me Improbable is going to be good. Mike Tirico talking about it. And then all of a sudden, Maximum Security wire to wire.

And all of a sudden, this country house sneaks in. And then in the fucking group text, you start getting people bragging about hammering country house. Fucking Gorman's like, I told you, boys. I fucking told you. I'm like, who'd you tell? Wait a second. Who did you? I facetimed him no answer i facetimed him again no answer facetimed him a third time no answer all i'm doing is in a group text i'm reading gorman go i knew it i knew it i hammered it i told you guys me and fox you're like no you did not unbelievable no you did not

and then fucking frank sticks his nose in there. I felt bad about that. Yeah, well, do you? I did. I did. Because I was there. I heard him tell you to take Country House, but I didn't hear the other conversation about the gift and the lock of Improbable.

Did you sense the actual, when I said, fuck you, Nick? Oh, yeah, I felt it. I was like, oh, that's some vitriol. There's some anger behind that one. What happened? Yeah, because you sucked your nose into something that had nothing to do with it. They were like, no, no, Gorman's told him.

I was like, oh. No, no, but you stuck with it. You came back for another round. Well, because I heard it. I almost FaceTimed you, and I was like, hey, Frank, you need to shut the fuck up in this group text right now. I'm about to burn this whole thing down. Because I was like, I heard Gorman say country house.

I was like, am I the only one that heard that? I was standing around. I heard, oh, they're just throwing out horse info. I'm going to burn this whole thing down. Because I was like, I heard Gorman say country house. I was like, am I the only one that heard that? I was standing around. I heard, oh, they're just throwing out horse info. I'm going to take it. Well, I mean, there was fucking 45 horses in that race. Gorman said they're all going to win. Yeah, 38 of them. He said they're all going to win.

If it makes you feel any better, I took improbable, too, because of your tweet. But maybe that's also why he lost. And he only picked improbable because of our fucking horse guy. Because of our horse guy. So once I saw the Diplo thing and I heard the horse guy, I'm like, I was just looking for reasons for our horse guy to be right. Then I see the Diplo thing. I'm like, boom, here's the reason.

The world is coming together. The stars are aligning around this fucking ginger horse. Horse guy does his research. Not sure what else he does. Reads horse things. He's only going to tell me the truth, and then all of a sudden he's flexing in the group text.

Told you guys. Told you. So when stuff goes down in the group text, are you guys okay that I'm the gift guy in there? No, I like, you can add a little good stuff in there. Okay, I was making sure.

Tim McAfee's in that group text. I know. Can you imagine his phone just blowing up? I didn't have his number. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know how. I didn't have his number. Whoa. Yeah. Block Dad? I don't know how.

I didn't have it, though. The disrespect. Block Dad put together an incredible golf tournament. He really did. He did the best. Let me tell you about this golf tournament. First one we ever put on, I hate golf tournaments. I've talked very openly about I hate them.

I hate the amount it takes to set them up. You've got to look out for this. You've got to look out for that. You've got to do this. You've got to get okays this. You've these hands you gotta kiss these babies you gotta do this these sponsors because you're just gonna want some regular outing no way you're gonna have some awesome stuff lined up oh if you're gonna travel which people traveled from yeah tennessee north carolina ohio illinois people traveled all over the place. Michigan. Pennsylvania, I think.

There was an incredible collection. And Tim McAfee, Samantha Lutey, and you guys, everybody worked. It was put together in an incredible fashion. And the humans that came to the golf outing were top-notch, ready to have a good time. People were there to party. It rained a little bit. It was a little chilly early.

The sky broke, though. God recognized something good was. People were there to party. It rained a little bit. It was a little chilly early. The sky broke, though. God recognized something good was happening. The helicopter drop happened. I mean, it was just an immaculate day. I got to shout out a couple groups, though. This group from Michigan looked like a bunch of slappies. Some of the best golfers I've ever seen. They were incredible.

They were very good. They hustled the entire operation. One of them showed up with a ridiculous hat and a crazy flow. This other guy had baggy pants. They just very good. They hustled the entire operation. One of them showed up with a ridiculous hat and a crazy flow. This other guy had baggy pants. They just looked bad. They shot 22 and a half under. And they were having a good time while doing it. Partying very hard with a lot of music.

They were some of the most, a lot of other teams that we knew were like, oh, those guys were cheating. I was like, no, Foxy and I played a couple holes with them. They were throwing actual darts at the hole. Bombing drives, too. 220 out, just landing it within 10 feet. Not just one in the group, too. Three, four of them surrounding the hole at all times.

Incredible golfing. I have never seen it. Then these boys from Tennessee came on. Oh, my boys. Wearing Hawaiian t-shirts. Great guys. These dudes, big-time fans of the show. By the way, everybody that came, I feel like fans of the show. We're so thankful for all of you. Very appreciative.

There's a couple people that stuck out doing ridiculous shit. These Hawaiian shirt guys showed up. Standing off by themselves a little bit. This is a very nice golf course. Broadmoor Country Club. If you ever get a chance to play it in Indiana, play it. Place is beautiful. Very nice.

People let us in there. I don't know if they'll let us ever again, but, I mean, we brought that shit down a couple notches. Speaking of, these Tennessee guys show up. Khaki shorts, Hawaiian shirts. They show up at the beginning. Ty Schmidt looks at them, very straight face, and goes, well, those guys ain't shooting anything less than a.250.

Right? Yeah. Nothing less than a two 50. Right. Yeah. Nothing less than a two 50. Yep. There was 80 people that, um, competed in a putting contest for $5,000 came down to one person for a 50 foot putt for $5,000.

And one of the fucking Hawaiian shirt kids buried at home for five, buried at home for five grand so that's how the golf outing started was this kid burying it the everybody was cheering for him too that's how we knew it was a good crowd place was going crazy interrupted and the guy said he's never seen that in his life the five thousand dollar putt yeah the guy at the golf course that was hosting the the five thousand dollar putting contest normally it's just a waste of money everybody just dumps their money in because a 50 foot putt is a scratch off i mean no matter how good one in a hundred yeah it's a scratch off this dude fucking knocks it home wearing hawaiian shirt already four or five beers deep each one of them

basically everybody at the outing was a shout out anheuser-busch for free beer for the entire thing everybody was just hammering beers already they knock it home celebration kicks off everybody's happy then we start seeing the groups kind of kind of mosey out onto the course and i'll tell you what that was a shit show out there we ran through the 35 donated cases of beer within the first two and a half hours we only had 24 teams you start the math, that's about a case of team pretty quickly, plus another 11 on top of that. Everybody was just pounding alcohol and playing golf, and we can't thank them. There was this little

tiny guy on the Hawaiian shirt team. He was the worst golfer I've ever seen in my life. Kid did not deserve to ever hold a golf club. No. But he was quite, he was the director of morale for us. Yeah, the smart plug. He was awesome. He was the smart plug of the team, brought him around.

We had a putt because Foxy and I traveled around and played a hole basically with every team. We kind of just bounced around, hit a couple shots at everybody when we were playing with the Hawaiian shirts. It was awesome. We watched a little guy hit the ball backwards in the middle of the fairway. It defied science. I don't know how he did it we get up to the green though and there's a putt i'm like all right somebody makes this probably got a chug of beer little guy who is blacked out

drunk at this point he's tiny little guy he's obviously just been slamming beers i 100 bet i'll make that i 100 bet i'll make it I 100% bet I make that putt. I'm like, all right, I 100% bet that I take that bet with you. I 100% it. He's like, I 100% bet I make that putt. He walks up there. He putts the fucker off the green. I mean, he putts the fucker off of the green.

I mean, I thought I was going to be like, oh, this guy's here for putting. He just hit one backwards in the middle of the fairway. He's definitely here for the thing. I 100% bet I'll make that putt. I'll 100% bet it. Yeah, bet it. Puts it off the fucking green. It was one of the most magical moments and basically summarized

the entire day. It was just a bunch of false confidence out there. People having a great time. And I can't thank everybody enough for raising a lot of money for the foundation. And shout out to Tim McAfee pulling it off. Honestly. He played that thing for a couple months and then about 48 hours beforehand we changed just about everything and like six new things to it i mean he really laid the foundation you just kind of put a couple finishing touches on some of the stuff at the

top and that sound that foundation was not made in sand. That was in brick. That was in marble, some would say. We interrupt your previously scheduled program to let you know that Charlotte's Web is offering a unique offer to listeners of this show. Go to charlottesweb.com and enter code PAT at checkout to get 10% off your order. Don't forget to enter code PAT at checkout to get 10% off. Some exclusions apply. See website for details.

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What's going on in there? The Bucks beat the Celtics tonight. Well, last night, sorry. So they're up 3-1. So the Celtics are pretty much dead, which means Kyrie Irving probably gone after this season. I was told he's going to the Knicks. Kyrie Irving's going to the Knicks with Kevin Durant, who's already moved his business to New York. Yep, that is correct. Kevin Durant is going to the New York Knicks with Kyrie Irving, and they could potentially get the lottery, right?

Exactly. And get the Zion. Exactly. So then it's Zion, Kevin Durant, and Kyrie Irving in New York, and that asshole owner gets a chance to be relevant. Oh, fuck that guy. Literally, I think that's what everybody says.

But it's good for the Knicks. It's good for the NBA. Good for the NBA. The Knicks haven't been good in so long. Have the Nets been good? Has anybody in New York been good in so long. Have the Nets been good? Has anybody in New York been good? No. Well, the Nets made the playoffs this year.

They did. They did, finally. But no one, I mean, it's the Knicks are busted in New York. Yep, yep. Madison Square Garden, also a hellhole, I guess. So, I mean, let's make sure that a good team's playing in there. It's old, yeah. It is, but it's the Mecca.

Got to have a little respect with that. Exactly. So, the NBA's still happening. NHL's still happening. Kentucky Derby is a sham. The maximum security, the best horse in all the racing said it won't be going to the Preakness because Triple Crown isn't an option anymore. Not going to win Triple Crown.

What the fuck are we running for? I respect that. Do you? Yeah. I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, maybe not because it's a horse and that's kind of what he's meant to do. He's is like running three races a year but hey you know you can't be the uh can that horse run again next year i think so it was young horse they said i i don't know are they are they gonna start it now because that makes more sense to me but what if he goes and wins the fucking derby next year then he technically if he can still run it yeah i'd do that and can you stud in the meantime?

What does that mean? I mean, there's... Fuck. That means... What are you talking about? Stud? Stud means fuck? Do you know anything

about horses? Get this guy out of here. This is horse talk, bro. I don't know anything about horses. Come on, man. Did you not watch Kentucky Derby?

I did. Homeward Bond won. That's just not accurate. Who won? Country House. Oh, that's what I did. Homeward Bound won. That's just not accurate. Who won? Country House. Oh, that's what I meant. Oh, okay. Homeward Bound, by the way. That's a good movie. Great movie. You and I are on the same page. What was a bad movie?

Downsizing. What was another great movie? Sandy. Fucking right, Nick. Take a hike. Two billion in the box office. Adam Sand... Who? This guy. What do you mean? Was not planned. Here's a puppet. You watch this video and listen to this video on the internet,

you're going to laugh at it. We got a chance to talk to a guy that broke the internet on Sunday. Oh, how was Game of Thrones? I loved it. I thought it was great. So did I. I thought it was a great bounce back for a lot of people that didn't like the last episode. You know, a lot of people very critical of it.

I understand that. Big episode for Starbucks. Yeah, that was wild. Yeah, how'd the cup end up in there? They just missed it editing. Who gives a shit? I don't think the producers do give a shit. I think this last season they're just trying to get it done.

I agree. They're so ready for it. You know, and it's just a cool thing now for everyone to like bitch and moan about it on Twitter. I agree.

Like that's just what's in, you know, like that. They're becoming a wrestling crowd. Yeah, kind of. Exactly.

It's become way too popular. You can't please everyone, right? Yeah. So there's always going to be a vocal minority or majority pissed off. sign 100 autographs,

but somehow your pen breaks for the one person, 101, and you got to leave. That one person, 101, and you've got to leave. That one person is going to be louder than those 100 people. Sounds like Game of Thrones is running into a loud, loud, loud, pissed-off person problem on Twitter. People are just morons. There's two episodes left.

The next one is going to be fucking insane. All-out war battle. That's what I've been saying this whole time. Exactly. This next one is going to be the one. You knew that episode five. I actually marked it on my calendar because you've been saying that. Well, what's his face?

Those two guys that wrote this thing that said they want to go and do other things? David Benioff and D.B. White. They said, hey, Pat, when you see a Starbucks cup, know what's coming after that. It's an indicator. Fucking madness. There you go. I said, you got it. I said, who's going to be involved there?

Cersei? Cersei? Cersei, yeah. Cersei's going to be involved, right? Yeah, you got it. You okay there? Huh? Cersei, yeah, you okay? Cersei? Cersei, yeah. Cersei's going to be involved, right? Yeah, you got it. You okay there? Huh? Cersei, yeah, you okay?

Your throat? To be honest, I didn't know if it was Cersei or Cersei. Cersei, you got it. The author actually pronounces it the way that you did the first time. Look at you. Well, I read the book. Yeah. It's impressive.

I haven't been able to watch all the movies, but I read all the books. Yeah. And I don't think I get enough credit for that from our listeners, who one person told me he almost vomited listening to me talk about Game of Thrones. Sorry, I've read every page of the book and of the scripts. Go fist yourself. You know, when I see and hear other people vomiting up as much information as you did, it makes me want to vomit, too.

That's what I'm saying. When you know this much about Thrones and you're this hard-on of a throner, sometimes people can't handle it. You think you've spent your life watching thrones. Try reading every book and script, and then get a heads-up from old Cousy when Starbucks comes, when the latte comes. Venti?

Not a medium. Venti? Madness awaits, my friend. Right there in Westerloose westeros westeros speaking of so this show has been on for what 10 years now it feels like only a couple though because time flies when you're having fun exactly but imagine waiting and investing 10 years of your life into this show and with two episodes left uh you go read the spoilers on the internet like Zito did. Tell me what's about to happen. Anything good?

Should I watch this? I can't say it. I'm against spoiler-eticacy. I will fucking cut your head off with one of those Game of Thrones swords you have in the office if you spoil anything for me. Oh, Ted Bundy, executive producer. Pat McAfee Show 2.0.

When I start seeing things and I start reading, I just got to keep reading. That's what they say about you. Avid reader. Yeah. Avid reader. I just can't stop. Yeah.

Your advanced reader score is through the... You got so many fucking... It's actually negative, but yeah. ...box tops. Remember, you went to fucking... Great America. Six Flags.

Oh, yeah. A lot of box tops. Good times. I can't wait for fucking Arya to go Go ape shit She probably will All I'm gonna say is You got two episodes left Just fucking enjoy it

Cause there will never be anything like this on TV again Ever Ever No show with this big of a budget No way As Planned out battle scenes We'll never see it again.

Ever. By the way, I also heard her name's not Aria. Yeah, it's Aria. Aria. It's Aria. Aria! Eh, I mean, come on. I'm just telling you what people tweet me. Yeah? How do you even pronounce that in a tweet? Right.

They spell it out, yeah. Just like Okariki was spelled out on the draft card. Zito, big phonetic guy. Big, yeah. I want all my ad reads to be phonetic from now on if you could send it out. Zito has a top five worst read job of all time at the end of the show. If that won't make you stick around, I don't know what will. This guy went viral this weekend.

We got him on the horn and got a chance to talk to him. And boy, once you start peeling back the layers of the onion, shit gets real serious. Yeah, it does. Real serious. I was at Texas Roadhouse. I had 45 ounces of steak.

What'd you get? I had the two bunions, the ribeyes, and then a rack of ribs. Two? 45 ounces? That's so much. Oh, you can't have rolls, though, can you?

No. Yeah, so you kind of have to go big on the meat. Yeah, my butthole's just been leaking. I bet. I can imagine. Tonight's going to be a long one. Let's go ahead and mail it in tonight on sleep. And let's just go ahead and plan on spending it all at the toilet.

That's what's going to happen. I'm going to be attacking that toilet with the vigor of a man who's never been on the toilet before. That toilet is going to remember the fucking name, Pat McAfee, after tonight. Do you stretch between shits? How does that work? Because my feet start to get the little pokey thingy. Fall asleep?

Yeah. You just got to shake it off. The pokey thingy? Yeah, it feels like pins and needles that might be the diabetes no i saw your gift today your video you're just dancing away from all that stuff yeah i'm dodging it how much are you up since the weight loss uh north of 60. i believe it by the way snickerdoodle cookies 9 a.m i can see how they look bad now.

A small child. I have to institute. Yeah, it's like a 13-year-old. I have to institute another weight loss challenge strictly to save Zito's life. And his wardrobe. He's going to have to buy a whole new set of clothes again. And it's next level, dude. It's a $300 jacket at the golf course.

With no brand on it. With no sleeves. No sleeves and no brand. And then he gave the receipt to Phil and wanted reimbursed for it because he was working the fucking outing for the foundation. You can see how that could be used for reimbursement. He bought a $300 rain jacket with no sleeves. Bro, he crumpled it up and threw it at Phil and said,

I'd like reimbursed for that. And Phil goes, for what? And then he opens it and Phil sees the price and goes, what is this? So he was like, my rain jacket. I got a member discount, though. It's like a rain vest with no brand name on it. It's just a blue. It's a garbage bag. You bought a blue garbage with no brand name on it it's just a blue it's a garbage bag you bought a blue garbage bag

with a zipper on it $189 $189.99 is what it was after the fucking members discount it would have reimbursed on his next paycheck

unbelievable I can see how that looks bad I should have told the guy about this. He already had to say to you. You're going to enjoy this character. Hashtag end game. Hashtag end game.

Just need some positive thoughts through the morning. Because I'm probably not going to sleep much. Tonight it's going to be me in that toilet. Probably be texting Ty throughout the evening. Ask him how it's going with the editing because I'll be up with him. Appreciate that. But just send me and Ty some motivational thoughts to get through our Tuesday. It's going to be a long one.

I was supposed to fly to fucking L.A. with Evan Fox about a potential test shoot of a new game show. It involves a human taking on a grizzly bear. I was potentially going to be running play-by-play for that. I love the tender meat. Hey, sometimes you get the bear. I was potentially going to be running play by play for that. I love the tender meat. Hey, sometimes you get the bear. You get the horns. Nope, that's a bull. But sometimes the bear gets you.

Oh, yeah. Happens to you all the time. Bear gets you every fucking time. It just depends on what bear it is. Is it the reading bear? Yep, it's going to fucking get Zito. The food bear. The food bear gets you all the time.

Cookie bear. Winnie the Zito. The food bear. The food bear gets you all the time. Cookie bear. Winnie the food bear. The cookie bear. Yeah, but I was supposed to potentially go that. They wouldn't have flied me coach. Middle seat. So we're off on a bad start here. I thought about it, though.

I said, I need to know the chances of me getting this gig. Because I've flown around the country before to shake hands. Right. In all of those, we have fallen completely flat on our face. Yeah. I'm talking about racking up thousands of miles to shake hands with people to potentially get a gig that could possibly be two minutes on TV. And they've all gone to nothing.

So this one kind of intrigued me a little bit. A grizzly bear and a human competing? I'm here right yeah of course bear don hey precious you will not get a refund your refund will be escaping this death trap with your lives everybody panic that's what I was excited for. What was his safe word? Spumoni. I'm so excited.

The amount of things I could have said about a bear and a man. I could really went with. I was excited about it. I was told there's less than a 15% chance. And then that was my agent speaking. So that means probably less than a 5% chance. They tacked on another 10. My agents told me that when they mentioned my name for the gig,

they said, that's quite an inspired recommendation. I said, what does that mean? Like, they're inspired to hire me? They're like, no, no, no. That means like a very off-the-wall choice for us to even offer you up. This is going to be very interesting then to see who gets it. Oh, don't worry about it. We'll probably never, this thing will never see the light of day.

I bet it'll be very just electric. Not going to make it past pilot season. Oh my God. That man just ran an obstacle course. I'll be honest. If for somehow, some way I was offered the hostage, I don't know if I would have

sat in the middle class seat to fly there. What if there was a less than 5% chance of you getting the job, though, on a Tuesday, midweek, you run a company, you get a chance to sit in an E seat on the way to LA, just a quick four and a half, five hour flight to potentially sit in a room and read about a guy taking on a bear. Would you do it? Hey, weather's really nice out there right now.

Hey, I heard that. I heard that the weather's nice. I bet you I would have crushed it though, guys. We could have turned that 5% right into a 10%. Yeah, right. I was never getting that gig. I think my agent's just telling me that they're going to fly me coach middle seat just

hey we got this big your grammys huh maybe potentially talking to grammys oh they're gonna fly you middle seat the coach oh you're out right yeah every one of those meetings too we'll walk out after and be like that went really well and then i'll kind of just look at you and you'll be like, yeah, nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. Absolutely nothing's happening. It's been 15, 20 meetings like it. Yeah, 100%.

Just walk in. Here we go. Good conversation. Fluff, fluff, fluff. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, you guys are so smart. That's great. That'd be a lot of fun.

Yeah, we'd love that. That'd be a blast. I think we'd probably do a lot of things with that if you let's have the opportunity okay cool cool yeah you could back to us of course you will i saw us on a fucking casting couch we make maybe five thousand dollars a day that's awesome you'll call us cool we'll get out of here well let's hop on a plane and fly to the other side of the fucking country so we can do that again I'm happy they saved us that flight. Yeah. But that ManBearPig show is going to be good. Probably. I hope it makes it on TV to see who gets the job.

Fucking Tim Tebow hosting it. I'll love it. Has that thing been canceled yet? Don't you ever. I mean, I haven't seen it on TV. What was it called? Million Dollar Mile, I think. Oh, yeah, it's good. What was it called? Million Dollar Mile, I think. Oh, yeah, it's good.

What was that? It's good. Like good as in canceled? No, I haven't seen it, but it seems good. Exactly. In theory? Yeah. Like in theory it sounds good?

I'll never run a mile, but it seems pretty cool to run a million. Have you watched anybody attempt to run a mile with Tim Tebow hosting it in that show? No. I did one time. Did you? Yeah, I think a lot with Tim Tebow hosting it in that show? No. I did one time. Did you? Yeah, I think a lot of people did. Yeah, I watched one. Haven't checked in since?

Haven't seen it since. Haven't seen an ad for it since. That's what I'm saying. I think it got yanked. Well, LeBron didn't make the playoffs, so the show got pulled. That's a good point. Unless Bear Grylls is hosting a Man Bears Bear Show over you, I'm disgusted. Or Mike Ditka.

That's the only choice. If Mike Ditka Bear Show over you, I'm disgusted. Or Mike Ditka. That's the only choice. If Mike Ditka is hosting because Bears, I'm all in. Yeah, me too. If Bear Grylls is hosting. By the way, they told us the name of the show, and then said we'll get back to you. And then in our office, we cooked up what the show was in our heads. Oh, my God. You and Bear Grylls are going to be doing what?

I was like, I don't know. I'm excited for you. Remember what he did with Marshawn Lynch? I can't wait. I think it's going to be a lot like that. All right. We get the call back and it's completely different. I think I even asked, I think I even asked, is Bear Grylls going to be here? I'll fly middle seat if Bear Grylls is here.

They're like, no, actual Bear's back. I was like, oh, okay. That must have been us just talking. That must have been us. Bear Grylls didn't sleep in hotels while he's pretending to sleep out in the wilderness for me to fly in the middle seat. Whoa. I don't know. Don't get me wrong. I love that. Kayfabe, bro.

I love what he did. I'm Team Bear. I'm not Team Survivorman. We've been through this before. I don't mind Survivorman either. He plays on that fucking harmonica. He really gets it going. He's boring. Out there just showing his ass to the camera. Is that song good? Everybody was like, Conor McGregor could really sing. You see that video? You think he sang

good? I didn't really want to watch it. I've had just about enough of Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon? Is why you stopped? Because he was on a microphone in the video? Yeah, I just saw him standing right there doing his thing with people in the crowd and I was like, God, I'm out. I don't want to hear it. I don't give a shit.

Jimmy Fallon did not deserve that. No, I know. Hey, listen. No one was a bigger Jimmy Fallon guy than me. Do you have a Jimmy Fallon impression? Oh, my God. So great. It's so great.

It's hilarious. He just does that on repeat for an hour and a half every single night. Ask for two shots of whiskey because that's what he did in that video. Can I get two shots of whiskey? It'd be great. did in that video. Two shots of whiskey would be great. We got one for Conor. He's hilarious. He's hilarious. So funny.

That is what it sounded like a little bit. Yeah, exactly. And then he was impressed by Conor singing, which the internet was as well. I thought he sounded pretty good. I wouldn't know. Jimmy Fallon taller than Conor McGregor. Really?

It looked like in that video. I saw Conor McGregor in person. i saw conor mcgregor in person tiny guy where'd you see him in person miami oh yeah you saw right after that was when oh foxy pf post fox you changed after you saw fucking conor come on i shouldn't have brought it up well you did though I almost went up to him. And then I decided it's Conor McGregor I shouldn't go up to him. Cool story, man.

I was trying to pivot somewhere. Wait, isn't Jimmy Fallon like 6'4"? Like 6'6"? No way, dude. I thought he was like a gigantic... All those people... Oh, Conan.

He's built at 6'1". That's on me. Hey, if I ever get in WWE, by the way, they better build me at 6'2", 6'3". Oh, yeah, 6'3". 6'3"? Fucking, I'm 6'6". 6'7". Give me some of them boots, guys.

They used to bill the big show when he first came into WCW. It was like 7'9", 6'60". I remember watching that. I was like, this guy's fucking huge. Gap that in Santa? Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was wild. Hey, there's another great movie. I was like, this guy's fucking huge. Captain Insano? Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was wild. Hey, there's another great movie by Adam Sandler.

There's another great Adam Sandler movie. Two billion at the box office. Fucking Lorne Michaels. Fucking firing that guy. Oh, that Chris Farley tribute. Oh, yeah. We've seen that before. I've seen that Chris Farley tribute before.

Yeah, he did that at his last stand-up, right? Yeah, I'm a big fan of it. He's coming to Indianapolis. I'm going to go check him out. Sandler is? Yeah. When? I'm not exactly sure, but he is coming to Indianapolis.

I'm going to go check it out. I'm all in. We've got all the fucking luminaries coming here this summer. Tim Allen's coming in June. What? Yeah. Yeah, he's coming in June. He's going to be great.

Todd says his stand-up's hilarious. I wouldn't know, but I assume it is. You're telling me Todd likes Tim Allen's stand-up? Yeah, I know. It's water wet. I don't know. I'm excited to see it. I got tickets.

He's going to crush. I assume so. You don't make seven sitcoms that are successful and not be funny. People try all the time. Look at fucking Raymond. Everybody loved him at one point. Now he's dead. I'd be okay if the price of admission was just him doing a table read for an episode of Home Improvement.

That'd be fucking awesome. Jill. I'd love it. I'm going to go fix my car in a garage. Tell JTT not to do anything stupid. I loved Home Improvement. I grew up on that show. It was the best.

Detroit. Who? Detroit. Is it really based on Detroit? Yeah, that's where he's from. up on that show. It was the best. Detroit. Who? Detroit. Yep. Is it really based on Detroit? Yeah, that's where he's from. In the opening credits, he got the Detroit Lion XXL shirt or whatever.

Yeah. Team property. Love that show. Oh, I've seen My Marriage with Kids. That's not the name of that either. What's it called?

Married with Children. Oh, same thing. Love and marriage goes together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you, brother. You can't have one without the other. Tone deaf Z-tone. Tone deaf Z-tone.

That's a good show. I love that show. Paul Bundy? Al Bundy? Let's get to our fucking guy. This video went viral. We'll lead off with it, and then the conversation that follows is well worth a listen. Once again, please send Ty and I your prayers.

We're going to go battle. And I know this is my fault, so I don't expect you to feel bad. Every ounce that I was shoving down my gullet, I knew was coming out of my butthole soon. And that's on me, 100%. But you can help me out through this because we're a team. I wrote a song, by the way, another song. I think it's going to be a heater.

Especially with Jim Kong popping back off. That he is. the sea of japan but they called it the ec do you see this yeah in all the headlines they've called it the ec it's the sea of japan oh i know but now they're calling it the ec i wonder if it's because we caught so much shit for calling it the sea of japan right that the locals said no no that's the ec it's not the sea of japan anymore back in the day they used to call it sea japan though on cnn on everything they used to call sea japan now it's the ec so we're gonna make a new song it's kind of a shame it's all right rp and peace to the sea to the east sea. RIP in peace to the fishy East Sea. RIP in peace to the East Sea fishies.

Yeah, it works. Put Diplo on the remix? He'll just have a ringtone behind it. That's all you need. I saw Timmy Trumpet stand on his little fucking dashboard thing with his card. Yeah, he just presses play, right? Well, I saw a drop happen.

He was in Guatemala. It looked like 100,000 people drop happen he was in guatemala it looked like a hundred thousand people and he was just spraying champagne on him and then he took a big swig and then he spit it on him and then he dropped and he was dancing i'm like they're the new rock stars that's the life right there that's the life these djs are the new rock stars you think of the like the hair metal band in the 80s and motley crew and that big movie they had made about them all that's those djs are living that life now. You got to respect it, though. There's raking in cash.

It was just like when we saw Waka Flocka jumping around yelling, and then he got behind the turntables, ones and twos for a photo, and then he got back out, started yelling. Waka! Waka! Waka! Waka! Waka! He's his own hype man.

And then he got on a plane and flew to Boston, did the same thing. Two shows, one night, walk, flock, flame. Raking in the cash. I think I'd be a good DJ. You? I have good single-hand moves. But what we've realized, though, is that you don't have rhythm. Well, no, they just press play.

Yeah, but I think with the single-hand moves, you have to be on beat because you're kind of like the little conductor guy in the front of the crowd. Like, that's really your only job is to conduct the crowd. I think I could do it. See, but I think as somebody who's watched you try to do it before i don't think i don't think at this point maybe you can learn how to do if you continue to be cigar zeet yeah but i think at this particular case you are not able to do it i don't know dj zeet would pop out though i i would overcome all adversity what happened to world series of poker zeet that popped off today for like 25 minutes?

You had a bomber's eat? You had a hoodie on? I lost the glasses and someone said you'd be an idiot for wearing reflective glasses playing poker. It made sense. I would never look at my hand if I had reflective glasses. That a boy, because you don't know if you're bluffing or not. Exactly. Hey, you think you can get...

I don't even know what I got. That's not a bad way to play. Just play blind poker. Just play blind the whole time. All in blind every fucking got. That's not a bad way to play. Just play blind poker. Just play blind the whole time. All in blind every fucking hand. Who's got it? Who doesn't? I'd go with you.

First hand probably. Oh, thank you. I would have pocket rockets. Yeah, you would. What does pocket rockets mean? Double aces, baby. What does ducks mean? Ah, shit.

I actually don't know what ducks are. Like ducks in a pond in baseball. First and third. That's just anybody on base, but first and third works, though. Speaking of baseball. You've had four transitions and you can't get there. I'm trying. You've had four transitions and you can't get there. I'm trying.

Did I seem wasted during tryouts? Because I can't figure out how you made it on this team. Clearly practice does not appear to be working. This is why everyone talks about you as soon as you leave the dugout. I knew you couldn't do it. Did you take your Adderall this morning? Because you're acting kind of freaky out here. You don't, you don't suck. It's just, it's like you have bad luck every time you step on the field.

Dude, you are destroying the backstop. Leak's probably going to make us pay for a new one. You do see the trend out here right? Every time you're on the hill we get murdered. Martinez to Lanzarra Welgus. Coach I speak English. Dude you're lucky your mom is hot. Dude if I end up back in rehab this season, it's all your fault. Over 1.3 million Little League players in the United States, and I got stuck with you. Someone needs to put me out of my misery. I heard you were the worst player on your last team as well.

Dude, it is okay to suck every once in a while, but don't you think you're overdoing it? You do know you're supposed to be throwing strikes out here, right? Have you been tested for dyslexia? No. Okay. No. What's your name again? Been sitting over there in the dugout, holding my breath, just trying to pass out.

Look at it this way. You're not the worst Little League pitcher on the planet. You just better hope that the kid that is Doesn't quit I take it back, you're the worst Have time Lou Okay, hand me the El Baloo And go to right field

And don't ever come back What you just heard there was a series of interactions between a coach and his Little League pitchers. Just rattled them off there, one liner after one liner after one liner. And the man doing that, who I am so fortunate to have on the phone, his video went viral this weekend. There's plenty more where that came from if you check the internet. From Texas, some are saying the meanest Little League baseball coach in history,

Scott Berger, ladies and gentlemen. Hello. Thank you for having me. Scott, first things first. Does your team normally suck or are they good? Well, let's just say that we have a lot of potential. We have our – we've had a rough season this year, but we've had our – we've had some moments where we've had some success,

but we've had a rough season this year. That video was actually in the fall with a different team, and we did pretty good. We did pretty good. We hung in there. We had our ups and downs. All right. I we did pretty good. We did pretty good. We hung in there. We got our ups and downs. All right.

I have a lot of questions here. Obviously, as the world does, I feel the responsibility of the entire internet is weighing on my shoulders here. How do the kids react to said things that you're saying to them? Do they know what's coming when you're coming out there? Like, hey, there's going to be a hilarious comment coming to you whenever it's time to pull you off the mound so when it started the answer was definitely

no because i wanted to capture i wanted to capture their kind of their reaction or their innocence it actually when i started i i have a like a little cheap action cam that I clipped to the neck of my shirt. I actually thought I was going to get their face right as I was saying it. I was going to capture their facial expression. But it didn't work out because it was kind of bouncing around and stuff. So, no, I did not tell them a thing. I just went out there and started saying stuff. And the very first guy, the very first guy the very first guy

i did it to i thought i mean he was kind of a big kid i thought he was just gonna kill me right there on the mound because i walked out there and i was like hey we're we actually redid this one later but i went out and i was like hey we're getting killed out here and it's pretty much all your fault and he just looked away like he was trying to contain himself and he wanted to kill me. Because these things, like, a lot of them are in the heat of the moment. Like, it's – they're real games. They're real – a lot of them are real situations.

I will say a bit, you know, that there's been times I'm like, I got to get a few – I want to knock a few more of these mountain vistas out so i'd call time kind of unnecessarily just to do that go out there say something stupid and then uh and then they just kind of look at me and walk away but over time um the like over time the kids kind of grew to know that I was going to say some sort of stupid crap out there. So if you notice in some of the scenes, they'll put their glove over their face because if they laugh, it ruins it. So I told them, if you feel like you're going to be laughing, cover your face with your mouth, your mouth, your gloves. You don't screw it up. Hey, we don't need you laughing and ruining this viral video.

I got likes and views i need bro okay with you saying that i'm assuming there are some people who don't respond in the same manner that we have i even saw it whenever i posted the video some people tagging me in tweets saying that i should not be promoting this type of thing have any kids parents on your team come up to you and say, like, hey, please don't be saying those things to my kid? Or do people tell you, like, hey, you're what's wrong with coaching, anything like that? Obviously, we find it very entertaining. I grew up in an era where our coaches were all like that.

Like, that is exactly how everybody is, but we live in a different world now. Have you run into any problems like that? On my teams, no. I have been nervous a little bit because, again, I, like, so some of the teams I've, you know, I've given them a heads up like, hey, we've got a few fun new videos we'd like to do. We might be doing something, you know, again. But I like some of the, like, I've done pregame speeches before and stuff.

Some of the best parts are when you capture their legitimate raw reactions and some of the crap they'll say in response or whatever happens. So I try not to give anyone too, too much of a heads up that it's going to happen. But as time has gone on, there's been parents who are like, oh, sweet, my kid's on that team. I hope. And they're like, oh, please do my kid. Please do my kid.

I mean, they're like, when we were doing some of the speeches, we had a series of pregame speeches. And by the end, there would be this little mini crowd. And all the parents would have their phones out and trying to film them and be like, like, there would be, like, this little mini crowd, and all the parents would have their phones out and trying to film them and be like, oh, please say something bad about my kid. And it was kind of funny. So as far as the parents go, no. Like, I will say I have been nervous about, like,

the one that is going crazy right now. That was a fall Little League team. I didn't even really know half the parents on there. I just went for it. And I was kind of sweating it. Like the one kid, the one I was nervous about was that you might not be the, the worst little league player in the world,

but you better hope the other, the kid that is doesn't quit that kid. I was kind of nervous. Cause I didn't know his mom very well. And I thought, Oh shit. Like, is he gonna be like man why are you calling me the word and then the part where i went out and said i never mind i take it back you're the worst i was really struggling with that when i was like thinking do i put this in or not but i just went for it and the mom ended up loving it she's like he's on our you know our little select team that we've got going now.

So the parents love it. I get hate mail by the minute otherwise. What do people say to you? What do they say to you? What does the hate mail say to you? Every, like, I wish I could curb some of this coach's face. He's what's wrong with him. Like a lot of people in Europe and stuff are like,

that's what's wrong with America. This guy is great. I'll tell you, my wife and I actually got caught up in that whole Vegas shooting thing. And right afterwards, I even had guys saying, that's the guy that's raising school shooters and all that. I'm like, oh my God, it's just a joke. Get a freaking sense of humor. Holy crap. Hold on.

Let's go. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We're not just going to bypass that. You were out of Vegas at that country festival? Yeah. Holy shit.

That's insane. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. My wife was in the crowd, and I was at the, we had kind of dropped them off and i was at the casino right next to the my buddies and i were at the casino right next to it and well yeah she got out of it um long story short i ended up in some bushes thinking i was freaking gonna be a goner i was like literally out hiding in some bushes alone outside this casino

because they were i thought there was it was chaos it's hard to describe but it was chaos erupted in every single casino all around the area and we were running through our lives through the mgm i think eventually the mgm and um out this door and into some bushes and i was pulling lights up they had landscape lights and i'm yanking the cords out trying to hide myself. Okay. So, so you're a man with a personality, a good personality, obviously. You're having the time of your life out there in Vegas. I always wondered how I would react in those situations. Would my personality still persist with the people around me in the moments directly

afterward whenever we realize that we're not no longer in the line of shot for what we say you find your wife were you were you the person that was talking about it or how was the recovery like were you joking around afterwards or was it a couple of days there where you guys really struggled with holy shit what just happened uh the first week or two probably two weeks after was pure misery honestly it was like i don't know how to describe it but it was like every second of every day was sad i don't know how it was it was awful um during the moment it like uh i remember because i was hiding in these bushes and I was sitting there. It's just weird.

But you sit there and I thought, I better text some family. You know, like I better, I guess if this is going to be happening on the news, I better text some family and let them know. Like, hey, because at the time I knew my wife was okay. They had like had to bust into an airport hangar, and they were in an airport hangar, and then the police came. I'm like, okay, sweet, she's good. And then all of a sudden chaos erupted where I was at, and everyone's running for their lives,

and I was the only dumbass that ran outside. Everybody else went to this one area of the casino, it ran outside. Everybody else went to this one area of the casino and I flew out these stairs and out these doors, jumped over a wall and then hit into bushes. And I sat there and was like, what the hell? What? No one, like nobody followed me. I was the only one. And I had my back to the door and I was like, oh my God, I had this wall between me and the door that I flew out of. And every once in a while this door would open and I could still hear it kind of picture the sound in my head right now. But when that door would the threat, the bottom of the door would scrape on the concrete. I was like, oh, shit, please, please, please don't be somebody coming out here to, you know.

Oh, my God. To waste me or something. I'm sitting there. And and so but in the moment there, like, I texted some family. And I did say, like, to my mom. I remember telling her, I'm like, well, when I get out of here, I bet the tables will be pretty cheap. They'll probably be, like, $2 tables. So, you know, because I'm trying to make a joke out of it. And my son, well, actually, my son was the best because I texted him him and I just said, hey, man, he's the son.

I said, hey, at least you're lucky your mom is hot. So I texted him and I said, hey, dude, we're OK. And when he realized what was going on, he said, he goes, run, run in a serpentine pattern. He's like, run in a serpentine pattern or pattern like he's like running the serpentine pattern whatever it's from that land of the lost movie whatever it's hilarious but so yeah there was a few jokes in there immediately afterwards it was yeah there was no it sucked hey we're happy you're okay obviously what a crazy situation because you don't make it out of there obviously more of these videos don't come to the Internet. Let's get back to that.

Let's get back to the hilarity that you bring to people. I mean, I watched that video no less than 45 times yesterday. I watched it no less than 45 times. It was like each line I just kept laughing harder and harder at. Is there anything that like you workshop that you write down I assume you you plan these lines and you're like oh I can't use that uh there's some things that you can't use on kids yeah um okay in all honesty most of them I've just gone for it like I was like I just I gotta do this and you never know how it's going to turn out. But most of them have gone forward.

There's one I've played around with that I'm like, you probably shouldn't say this one. It's something along the lines of every time I've noticed, like every time you're on the hill on the way home from the game, I have this sudden urge to find a giant live oak tree and ram my truck straight into it. have this sudden urge to find a giant live oak tree and ran my truck straight into it. I don't know. I don't know what that's costing the land.

That's fine. I've kind of played around with it. I thought, oh, I don't know, but I think I'm going to do it. There's like two versions of it. It's either you walk out there and you go you go do you hear that you know and you kind of pause and the kid will go no and you say it's something along the lines of like even your grandma in heaven is booing you right now or like if you go out there and say is your grandma still alive when they answer no and i say well if she was she would even she would be booing you right now i don't know something along

those lines i've kind of gone back and forth but it'll probably make it in there the one of the questions the issues has not been whether to say it or not it's been the timing of them at times because like i said some of the times i'm like it is the heat of the moment and they don't want to hear from me it's like they're i don't know how to describe it but they're when they're competing they're really competing and they're pissed i mean they're you go out there if you're going out there for the real reason they're pissed off because they can't freaking throw strikes or they're getting the crap pounding out of them or whatever and then you go out there and say like some you freaking throw strikes or they're getting the crap pounding out of them or whatever.

And then you go out there and say, like, you know, something horrible. And they're like, God dang it. You know, so, like, my son, my youngest son, Jack, he's the one that I said, well, at least your mom still loves you. And that's from an earlier video. And he was pissed. He was like, he plopped the ball in my hand, and he just, it was like he wanted to throw punch me, but he didn't.

He just plopped it in my hand and just walked off the mound. I was like, ooh, that didn't go over very well. You're beating the hell out of the backstop. The league's probably going to fine us for that. It's an incredible. Yeah, that was my son. That was my oldest son, Wesley, as well. That was him.

Just saw him down your kids. So, you know, going back to the, I forgot about this, because there have been, at the league, we started these videos with that your dad's a loser speech, and that was done like four years ago. It was meant to be a joke, and it kind of came. I mean, obviously it looks pretty serious, but I thought, I better lighten this up a little bit, so I put the word gooder in at the end. Let's go gooder on three.

I don't know if you guys have seen it, but at the end I say, get the team together and say, let's go. That team's pretty good, but we're gooder. So let's go gooder on three. And we break it out on gooder. And thinking like the whole world will go, oh, okay, this is a joke, right? Well, half the people are like, this guy's a total douche, and he doesn't even know that Gooder's not a word.

Oh, yeah. They're hammering me. So, but it was fun. You know, like that video sat around and just kind of got a few views here and there. No big deal. But it was fun. And so we did another speech. And in the speech, I called the team that we were playing a bunch of fart sniffers.

And I had no idea whether they sniffed their own farts or not, but I just called them fart sniffers or whatever. Well, one of the parents on the other team heard it and wrote the league and said that I was a bully, and I was bullying the players by you know, by calling them fart sniffers. And I'm like, are you freaking serious? So then after that, I was like, it's on. I mean, so I wrote like another speech directed that kind of when we were going to play that team, it was kind of directed at them and, you know, they can kind of hammering on them a little bit but innocently

but so we have had some apparent of some other teams that were kind of offended or whatever but who gives a crap it's all it's all meant to be in good fun you know and kind of making fun of to an extent kind of making fun of the total douchebag, crazy coaches. Are you a comedian? Or is that your natural thing? Or are you just a shit-talker athlete? Oh, God, no. No, no, no. I'm the president of a small clinical research company

called Tribe Clinical Development. No, don't say it. We'll edit that out because there will be some fucking mom or dad that will want you to go out of business for what you do. Or we'll keep it in. It's up to you. But if your company ends up getting, I just want to let you know, if protests happen at your company, it's on your fucking ass, not on me. No problem.

No, this is just, I've always just seen the kind of humorous side of sports and youth sports and stuff like that. I mean, we've had, I think the mound visit kind of sports and youth sports and stuff like that. We've had I think the mound visit kind of idea came every once in a while. I'd go out to the mound and ask the kid to pull my finger or something. When they do, you go, dude, not that hard. You grab your ass and you run

off the field. It kind of just went from there. We just started doing more stupid stuff and recording it. It's went from there. We just started doing more stupid stuff and recording it, and it's just been fun. That's awesome. Well, you supplied the Internet with minutes of entertainment yesterday, which is not easy to do.

Everybody seems to universally love you, except for the people that none of us would like anyway, so fuck them. That's awesome. I can't think. Well, that's what you gotta remember All the people that hate on you You would never ever ever have a beer with So who gives a damn

Yeah You know what I mean I appreciate that That is good advice I appreciate that Yeah well I get a lot of hate From people that suck And it's like

I wouldn't like you either I wouldn't like you either So it's not that big of a deal Yeah I can't thank you enough I hope your team wins I hope the pitchers get better Honestly

It seems like it's a real nightmare out there But Scott I can't thank you enough. I hope your team wins. I hope the pitchers get better, honestly. It seems like it's a real nightmare out there. But, Scott, you are a hysterical human being, and I can't thank you enough for joining us, my brother. Oh, man, I really appreciate it. Thank you very much. It's been awesome. By the way, just surviving the Las Vegas shooting just kind of dropped in there in the middle of that.

That's crazy to think about. We're happy you're okay, man. Very happy you and your wife are okay. Yeah, everyone's good. My wife was good. My wife was in the heat of the moment. She's a trooper. When's the next game?

Next game is in, we're debating that, either this weekend or in a few weeks. We play these tournaments. In fact, this last weekend there was this actually was another little issue i bought a six pack of on purpose it was budweiser to make it look a little more trashy a little diesel and i yeah i don't know if you noticed when i kind of set up the camera when i walk out you kind of see i guess it's just kind of my leg my chicken legs walking out towards the mound and and on this one, I, like, stopped short of the chalk line, the foul ball line,

and then I set my Budweiser down so the camera can zoom, like, sees it, and then I go out to the mound. I was a little nervous about that one because usually they don't allow alcohol in these parks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to get thrown out or something. But I've got a few more ideas in there. We've got about three tournaments left in the season,

and we're going to try and knock something out. All right, we're pulling for you. You're going to hit another dinger. Ladies and gentlemen, Scott Bergen. All right, brother. Thank you, man. Thank you very much. Yeah, thank you.

All right. Cheers. Just survived the Las Vegas Massacre. Yeah, he's crazy. He kind of threw that in. I had a lot of questions. I had a lot of questions about that. Yeah, we had that Las Vegas shooting thing. He's crazy. I had a lot of questions. I had a lot of questions about that. We had that Las Vegas shooting thing.

But the kid was laughing. No, no, no. Go back a little bit. Wait a minute, sir. You probably don't really give a shit what a lot of haters say on the internet after surviving something like that. Well, I just,

the thought of him sitting, because nobody knew what was happening. So every time that door opened, he thought it was potentially the guy with a gun. So he's just like sitting and that's insanity uh shout out to him and his wife for surviving that um big time asshole by the way the guy that was shooting in las vegas the thought though of the other parents especially in the world we live

in now potentially getting all butthurt about him talking down to their kids is something i assume that's pretty real but all of the parents being like no no no please do that to our kid that is a hysterical thought i if i have a child and that's all i thought of was like you know what if i potentially accidentally become a father it was my exact tweet if i put this type of stuff excites me about potentially accidentally becoming a father one day because i'm thinking about little Dr. McAfee on the fucking hill. Just fucking getting like two dong

shots hit on him. Hey, don't worry about it, bud. I just worked my whole life to build up the McAfee name and in two swift pitches he just completely ruined it. But it was that is classic. In the world of Little League now with all those hard old coaches that take it way too seriously,

it's almost refreshing to see a guy that's bringing some fun because Little League is supposed to be fun. And he's bringing that back. I like to hear that the kids have to cover their mouth from laughing because they're in on it too. And you can see sometimes when he doesn't want to say it, he goes down and he kicks the dirt. If you haven't seen the video, I tweeted it out.

He literally starts kicking the dirt so he doesn't have to look at the kid. He looks down. I enjoy that, though. What a great piece of content. I bet those out. He literally starts kicking the dirt so he doesn't have to look at the kid. He looks down. I enjoy that, though. What a great piece of content. I bet those kids want to play for him. Even the kids that are up and coming. I know he said he coaches his sons, but all this viral, the video going around in the league, I'm sure everybody knows him. They're like, yeah.

When I first saw it, I was like, holy God, man, what's going on? Watch it again, was laughing and stuff. But just hearing that, I know it's all in good fun. It's about Little League's about you know he has to get buried by some people but the kids are in on it folks you know what i mean the kids are most of the most of the tweets though 100 good tweets and then you see that one that's like this guy is the problem with coaching there's many different ways to motivate children and this is not one of them i'm like well that it that isn't it that isn't a factual statement what you just said there because that is a way that is a particular way to motivate so what you said though we get it is not factually

correct first of all but second of all i think if you can bring humor to a time like that that's the best way to motivate somebody. For sure. Now, granted, a young Pat McAfee, if I'm getting cooked up there, I would probably throw in a punch. So him saying his kid dropped the ball and almost throat punched him,

I would have leaned towards that probably as a kid. A little bit of a hothead, I would say. But just the thought of it all, like him going through it in his head while he's walking up, because that's his stage, right? So that's like he's a stand-up comedian walking onto the stage, like going through his head like,

okay, you're not the worst little league player, basketball player, but you better hope the guy doesn't quit. Okay, he's not the worst. What's up, bud? You're not the worst. You know what I mean? Like him practicing it in his head, and him saying his team is full of potential.

They suck, so he's just going to let it fly the next three weeks. But it seems good. You heard him. He coaches select teams in tournaments. Yeah, that don't mean shit. He said this year's team, he said, has a lot of potential. He said the team that he was yelling at, they were good. The video that just went viral yesterday, that team was good.

This one, though, he said not as good. A lot of potential, which means yeah there you know potential does get coaches fired yeah that's what it does exactly 100 i want him to do it uh to the kids after they're at the plate because they're most of the time even more mad if they fail at the plate than they are in the mound oh yeah something to dug out when they get back in there yeah as they walk in i can't thank him enough for joining us i'm not sure how many interviews he's doing he was good he should do more yeah i liked him a lot, man. I liked him a lot.

I don't know much about Little League Baseball. Before we get out of here, we got to read one more ad. It is time. All right, Z-Tiki. Reading from Zito. Let's go, Z. Brand new sponsor, by the way.

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Idiosyncratic? Idiosyncratic. Keychains.com customize your paloethnic I can't even go back remembering the other word

that's unbelievable come on we lost these guys already no I mean they didn't pay as much as the other companies that's why we have them

at the end here that's why they're number five so there's no chance they come back but I think you could at least power through this thing I'm gonna power through it go ahead

go back from the top. Are you tired of carrying the same old boring keychains? Yes. Be the envy of all your friends by carrying your keys on something extraordinary and indiscriminate from idiosyncradickkeychains.com. Idiosyncradick keychains? I think that sounds...

Idiosyncradick keychains? I think that sounds... Idiosyncratic keychains. Idiosyncratic. Idiosyncratic keychains. There we go. Alright, alright. Idiosyncratic idios... Just don't guess because Nick hasn't seen it. We don't know. This is from across the room.

It sounds right. Idiosyncratic keychains. There we go. What was the dinosaur era one again? Paleolithic. Paleolithic era keychains. There's an L in there, right? Paleolithic. There we go.

Good luck piecing this one together, Ty. Just kind of sound it out. Keychains from the relishable bronchosaurus to the malicious pterodon. I believe that's correct. Yeah, it is. Is there a P in the front there? There is How would you have said it by the way?

P-T-R-I-D-O-N P-T-R-I-D-O-N And if you don't see your favorite dinosaur in the library The idiosyncratickeychain.com Will customize your Paleolithic era keychain To a dinosaur of your choosing For only $9.99.

Wow. That's crazy. But maybe you're not into dinosaurs. Maybe historical figures are the thing. Idiosecratickeychain.com has a library of over 1,000 historical figures to choose from. There we go. Now we're hitting a groove, aren't we?

Benito Mussolini. Yeah, terrible guy. Bad dictator, yeah. Mohammed Gandhi. Yay. I think Mohammed's spelled wrong here, by the way. It's Mahatma. Mahatma.

Well, yeah, if it's Mohammed, it is spelled wrong. Also, Michael's spelled wrong there, if it's Michael Gandhi. That's all it says. Very true, very true. Yeah. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong.

Mao Zedong. These are historical figures that you're just butchering. Wait, what? Mao Zedong Mao Sin Dong. Mao Sin Dong. These are historical figures. You're just butchering. Wait, what? Mao Sin Dong. Of course. 100%. Napoleon Bonaparte.

There you go. There it is. Khan and many more. That's incredible. There's even more. Mao Sin Dong. I still don't think I know who that he's referring to. He wasn't a good guy either.

Were they all bad guys? Bad guy. Except Napoleon. Bad guy. Bad guy as well, except for Napoleon. Hey, Muhammad wasn't a bad guy. Indiosecratickeychain.com also features lines from the Mesolithic and Neolithic era as well. The Middle Ages, beginning with the fall of Constantinople. Jesus Christ, Zeke.

Constantinople. Constantinople. And, of course, ending with the Renaissance. Hey, you fucking hammered on Renaissance right there. There's a lot of letters in there. I saw that one. I saw that one. I saw that one. I was like, I'd rather know the Renaissance word than that.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What was the cantaloupe era? Yeah, the cantaloupe era. What was it again, Todd? Constantinople. Constantinople. Yeah. Each idiosyncratic keychain.com keychain is handcrafted from environmentally safe poly the line and no cars engines and

cars engines that's just two engines of cars cars engines cars engines yeah cars engines cars engines like a ford engine is it the engines or no engines? There's no cars engines. Cars engines. There it is. There you go. And it is completely biodegradable. Oh, good. If you're a nerd like me and you're tired of carrying your keys on the same uninteresting and montaneous keychain. Montaneous. Nailed it.

Was I wrong on that one? No, no, no, no. You're 100% right. Montaneous. Did you just say monotonous? Study of Montana. monotonous? Study of Montana? Monotonous? Hey!

Monotonous keychain, as everyone else, then go to indiosocratickeychain.com right now and enter the promo code MAGAFEEN. Get 20% off your first order plus free shipping. What? Free shipping? Plus free shipping with your first order. Nice.

Oh, wow. That's idiosyneticKeychain. I-D-I-O-S-Y-N-R-A-T-I-C-K-E-Y-C-H-A-I-N-S.com. Promo code McAfee. All right, Z. See you later to IdioconeticKeychains.com. That's a mouthful I'd say

Good job Z What were the folks names by the way that we can get The historical figures that really matter Benito Mussolini Bad guy Mahatma Gandhi So Mohammed Gandhi is a good one Mahatma Gandhi is a bad one

Forget it Hashtag endgame If you haven't bought tickets yet Go buy tickets to one of our shows is Gandhi's a bad one? Forget it. Hashtag end game. Hashtag end game. If you haven't bought tickets yet, go buy tickets to one of our shows, Six Cities. Other than that, just tweet Zito

and tell him good luck reading in the future. Kid needs it. Everything he could possibly need. Constant bull. It's only getting worse. From myself, Todd McComas, at Diggs, at Nick Morado,

at Hey Gorman, at Viva Lozito At Ty Schmidt, at Evan Foxey We can't thank you enough Cheers to you and to Scott Gerben My favorite Little League coach Yes, the best What a hilarious fucking guy The man I wonder if he'll get any sponsorships

Maybe from Idio Uh, Sacrenatic Sacrenatic Sacrenatic I wonder if you'll get any sponsorships, maybe from IDEO. Sacronatic. Sacronatic. Sacronatic. What a dum-dum. It was a fake ad read. Read right through it.

Yeah, you did. You did not read right through it. You did see it because I have gotten, the reason why we had to do that is because of the amount of complaints from the real ad reads. So we had to make up a company for you to read for. I want to let you know, if we ever create a company that does ad reads for this show, we will stick on if you read it. I just want to let you know.

That means a lot. Thank you so much, Pat. No problem. And nobody has actually said that they will drop our show. They just have asked if maybe we rotate. Which I respect. Ty Schmidt, hit the music. Yeah, I'm going to take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more

I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more I got the horses in the back Horse stock is attached Head is matte black Got the bushes black to match Riding on a horse, ha, you can whip your horse. I've been in a valley, you ain't been up off that forest.

Can't nobody tell me nothing. You can't tell me nothing. Can't nobody tell me nothing. You can't tell me nothing Ain't nobody tell me nothing You can't tell me nothing Can't nobody tell me nothing Can't nobody tell me nothing Pat down, cross town, livin' like a rock star Spend a lot of money on my brand new guitar

Baby's got a half a diamond rings and Fendi sports bra Riding down R dail in my maserati sports car got no stress i've been through all that i'm like a marlboro man so i kick on back wish i could roll on back to that old town road i wanna ride till i can't yeah i'm gonna ride till I can't no more I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road

I'm gonna ride till I can't no more I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride till I can't no more Bye.