The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 071 - Shawne Merriman, A Guy Who Destroyed His Daughter's Birthday Cake, & Sports Talk

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

Today's show is headlined by two incredible interviews. First, 3x Pro Bowler, 2x All-Pro, member of the San Diego Chargers 50th anniversary team, business owner, and now fight promoter, Shawne "Lights Out" Merriman, joins the show. He and Pat chat about his new mixed martial arts promotion "Lights Out Xtreme Fighting," and dive into an incredible conversation about life after football. They also chat about what Shawne thinks of the new rule changes in the NFL, and which current NFL player he enjoys watching the most (3:54-35:15). Next, Pat's former teammate, current center of the Arizona Cardinals, and friend of the program, AQ Shipley joins the show. He tells a couple of hilarious stories about ruining his daughter's first birthday party, gives his thoughts on the Cardinals under Kliff Kingsbury, and chats about his new career as a podcaster for PMI (37:55-1:07:45). The guys also dive deep into some science talk as they discuss the possibility of an asteroid wiping out the earth and the tests that scientists are currently running to ensure that doesn't happen, they cover the NHL and NBA playoffs, and give their opinions on the Avatar sequels being pushed back even further. It's a fun one. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Lights out! Sean Merriman. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now is a man who was a three-time pro bowler, three-time All-Pro NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year in the year 2005. Led the NFL in Saxon 2006. He's a member of the san diego now los angeles

chargers 50th anniversary team 257 tackles in his career now he is launching an extreme fighting league that debuts this weekend ladies and gentlemen lights, Sean Merriman. What's up, brother? How's it going, man? Nothing from that fucking intro? I feel like that intro was pretty incredible. You just gave me nothing. I mean, let me tell you something. I feel like I was walking down the tunnel and then jumping in the crowd at the same time. I can respect that a lot. let's get right into it this weekend

lights out xf extreme fighting debuts how excited are you what are some things you might be worried about what are you looking forward to all of that stuff let's get right into it well man um you know first of all combat sports for me like been been my love and passion, even when I was playing football, right? I was kind of working out doing MMA during the off-seasons, and I just fell in love with the sport. So when I retired at the end of 2012, 2013, I actually was going to take a fight. I mean, I was that much in love with the sport, and I loved training and just loved the other aspects of it. So that ended up happening.

But for two years ago, I met up with a former league out here called California Extreme Fighting. They were a big local promotion out here in California. And I was going there to refight and said, damn, these guys are legit. But, you know, a lot of people outside of here didn't know about it. So what happened was I came in as a partner, and now it's Light Tide Extreme Fighting airing on Fox Sports Western Prime Ticket May 16th, man. So we got a TV platform at the gate, which is pretty cool.

That's incredible. Did you have to invest money in that, or did they give you a percentage of it just because you're Sean Merriman and that you could bring attention, like this interview, like you've done on ESPN, things like that? Or did you have to invest in it and buy it out, basically? It was a combination of a lot of stuff, to be honest. Obviously, when you have a name and you have a platform to be able to promote stuff like that, that's money in the bank, right? I mean, that's worth a ton. But two, we really brought myself in along with my financial and plus sponsorship to pay the fighters, man,

get these guys signed up for just more than one-off fights. We wanted to keep them in for five and seven fights at a time. So that's what my input was. And also bringing the TV platform. I mean, people will be able to see now for the first time these guys and what they've been fighting for for a very long time. So, you know, without me promoting it, they'll see for themselves on the 16th when it airs. Okay, so are these fighters bangers?

What do we got? We got guys that like to get in there and throw hands? Oh, man, these guys, they love to get after. We got three titles on the line, actually. And, you know, one of my favorites, because I'm a heavyweight, you know, Jack May and Mike Q, Quintero Chino. You know, these guys are going to get after it. They got a rematch, and it's going to be impressive, man.

These guys like to get out. I never realized, like, how much shit, I mean, shit talking goes on. Like, you see it on TV and stuff like that, but the DMs between these guys, it's like, Sean, I'm going to beat the shit out of this guy. And I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Like, I'm just, I'm here to promote the shit out of this guy. And I'm like, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm here to promote the fight, guys. I don't have any side. And then the other guy, where DM me, say, watch what I'm going to do to him.

And I'll say, okay, all right, now things are getting a little bit crazy. So I'm just waiting for everybody to see what we put together, and then we're the next biggest promotion. What are you going to be? Are you going to be Vince McMahon, Dana White promotion what are you going to be are you going to be vince mcmahon dana white or are you going to be uh big personality are you letting the lights out extreme fighting have their own people are you going to be prevalent in this whole thing yeah so we actually have um you know some of our commentators i actually just brought over uh abathio harris you know there's the nfl network she's also a fight fan and she'll be uh she'll be broadcasting some of the fight uh i'll be part of the broadcast as well.

But, you know, for me, man, it's really, first of all, promoting the league, right, because that's number one. But, two, I'm a fan of the sport still. And I train with a bunch of MMA guys. I trained this morning working out at Ghost MMA. So it's really a combination of, like, you know, I'm not trying to be anybody else, but it's hard for me not to be excited because I still love the sport and have a passion for it at the same time.

I'm excited to see how it all fares out on May 16th. How are you doing? May 11th. It's this Saturday and then it's going to air. It's going to air on the 16th. Okay. So speaking of, so it's pre-taped all right um are you in an arena what are you in a theater where's it at yeah it's at the burbank marriott event center um and you know this thing holds about 1400 and we we sold out in a little over two weeks um so we we love being there we love being in just really los angeles in general because uh you know southern california has really been a hub for MMA and mixed martial arts, combat sports for a long time.

And I've played here, man. So, like, for me, this is, you know, kind of my backyard, my home. How much were the tickets, and how did you decide how much the tickets were? Did you want, like, a wild crowd in there, or were you trying to make real money off the tickets, or was there a fine balance? No, it was a fine balance um i think our vip case i ticket uh case i take it to go for 175 185 175 175 85 um there's still some sold on uh lifestyle xf.com but i think we've got about 30 tickets left or 20 tickets um general admission tickets sold out in two weeks that was that was

all done i think we got a few left. But once you see the crowd and energy of the fight, it's kind of hard because I want to promote the fight, but at the same time, I want people to see like, okay, this is the real deal and the next big thing. I kind of want to just

let it play out. Just let people see our own. Are you guys serving beer in the crowd? What's that? Are you serving beer in the crowd? What's that? Are you serving beer to the crowd? Oh, we're serving a little bit more than beer. Let's go! It's going to be... No, go ahead.

Yeah, we'll have a little going on, and then I might have a glass or two when we're done and everything's wrapped up. Just really celebrating a big event. I just know people are going to enjoy what they're going to see. You're a complete businessman right now. We have your Lights Out merch out here in the office.

Guys, wear it. Now you're launching a fighting league. I mean, how do you keep track of it all? And are you worried that you're going to spread yourself too thin? Or is Lights Out Sean Merriman can handle whatever the fuck comes at him? You know, man, people always say this thing about if you love what you're doing, it's not work. I just want to kind of go on and explain to that what it is. You know, I'm from PC County, Maryland.

I didn't grow up much. I had a nickname, Lights Out, since I was 16, a sophomore in high school. You know, carried it to college and carried it to the pros, and now being able to have a brand like Lights Out, not only being apparel and a league, but, you know, walking out here, you see people wearing it in the office. I was just walking by a guy out here in Studio City, and he didn't recognize me, thought I was a football player,

but he had on Lights Out. He couldn't even make the correlation. So I knew that I was doing something right and I love what I'm doing. I can't picture myself doing anything else. As far as spreading anything too thin, after I'm done with the gym at 7, 30,

8 o'clock in the morning, whatever time I'm done, this is what I do. It's something I love to do. 7, 30, you're done? What time do you start? I try to get in the gym by 6.30. What the fuck? I try to get done by 8.30 so I can get to work and start getting things moving by 9

in the morning. 9 o'clock in the morning, I want to be fully up and ready to kick somebody's ass. I hate being tired and sleepy with everything coming at me. I want to be fully awake and energized. Obviously, you're a linebacker in the NFL. You had to be some sort of meathead, but not everybody continues that after they retire from the NFL. It seems as if you're never going to slow down.

You're going to be a meathead forever in a gym. I feel like the gym is probably somewhere that taught you a lot of things in your life. Yeah, man, and I'm a meathead in and out. There's no changing that. I'll be a meathead until I can't lift any weights anymore, and then I'll find some other weird ways to lift weights where it don't hurt my shoulders or lower back or something to still stay a meathead. I just think of this.

The gym, for me, is a lot cheaper than therapy, for one. I don't know if it covers uh gym membership but they should uh but it's it's my balance place man because no matter what i have going on if i got a ton of stuff going on i know if i can go crush me an hour and a half or two i'll work out um i know i'm gonna feel better no matter what and sometimes it's not just about looking i try to explain to people all the time, man, like, yeah, looking good is great, but feeling great is better. So that was always important to me.

I'm always told by you fitness people that nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels. And I argue that there are a few pizzas that do, but I completely respect the fact that you bust your ass so your entire body feels good. How old are you now? 34. I'll be 35 in a couple weeks. Okay, so you retired relatively young, just like I did.

Why did you end up calling it quits? Were you forced out, or was it kind of you felt like it was your time? No, it was my time. For me, I started to look at what I believe my value was to an organization. Buffalo wanted me to come back another year when I was done. They ended up firing the whole entire coaching staff. For me to start over with coaching staff at that point in my career just wasn't going to happen. Then two, if you're not offering something that's so significant financially that it's a guarantee, then it's not worth me being there.

I have other stuff to do. I love football. Football, to me, is king and always will be king. And if I physically could compete at a high level, I would still play. But that was done for me. I was done with that. I heard you say that whenever you were going to go to Buffalo, I don't remember if you were traded or signed there, you didn't want to go initially.

And then once you got to Buffalo, you fell in love with the place. Is that accurate? Oh yeah. Yeah. I was actually a buddy next who was a general manager at the time. I hung up the phone on him twice and told him I wasn't coming. I told him, I said, buddy, because he was the third in command, the GM-wise, with the Chargers,

and he was one of the guys who had a big input on drafting me there with the Chargers. And so I knew him, and he knew me very well, and he knew that I could come out and help the organization and do some things. So he was going to have me there no matter what. I said, buddy, I don't care what you guys do. I don't care what you do.

I'm not getting on the plane. And I hung up the phone on him twice. I just wasn't going to go to Buffalo until they told me I was going to get fined $10,000 a day. And I told them, send that damn plane on Thursday. Once you got there, though, you realized quickly that they have one of the most passionate fan bases in all of football in the city of Buffalo, likes to party and have a good time. Is that accurate? Oh, man. I mean, it took me about two weeks in before I felt like felt the love for the city. So the first the first week you get there, you act in the teammates and everybody around. OK, what should I say? What should I live? What should I go? everybody around, okay, where should I stay? Where should I live? Where should I go? Okay,

they'll tell you to stay here, close to the facility. And then I went out for the first time in downtown. And they had some big event. And you would have thought like it was some parade. And I was like, at the time, they were 0-7 or 0-8. I'm like, if we go 0-7 or 0-8 with the Chargers, nobody might shake your hand or show up in the stadium. Like you were not even getting talked to. And, uh, they were already at the playoffs at the time. And I looked up my first game, my first, you know, time being there and it was 70,000 people in the freezing cold with their shirts off going crazy. And I was like, this is, I can get used to this because these, these fans out here are just that great. Okay. Let's talk about fans being great and not great. The Los Angeles Chargers, whenever they moved to Los Angeles,

couldn't even fill up an MLS stadium. But now they have some success. They might be able to generate a little buzz. But do the Chargers, you're an ambassador for them, I do believe. Do they have any shot at gaining real traction in Los Angeles? Yeah, and they have. And, you know, this is the thing. You're always going to have people that talk bad about the Chargers, right?

Because you got some people that's pissed off that they moved in the first place, right? That San Diego just don't like L.A. people and vice versa, whatever the case is. And you're just always going to have this little gripe there. Some people just never want to support the team, will never really fully support the team. Well, when they first moved, they were 0-4, right? So you move, you got, you know, some people that's really pissed off, and you start 0-4, now you're really not going to have any fans.

But then they had that nine-game winning streak where they looked like they were going to be, you know, a threat in the playoffs and then go into postseason and whatnot, and that didn't happen. But this past year, man, I was at every game. You know, I was at every game, so I see what's there. But you have some of these teams that travel really well. You know if you play Kansas City or Philadelphia, like they're going to – I don't care where you play at.

We played down in San Diego. I mean, they came and they loaded up your stadium because they travel like crazy. It's just how it is. So the fan base is getting there, and it's going to continue to grow as long as the team keep winning. I think everybody, they talk about bandwagon fans. I think that could be everywhere.

Now, granted, not in Buffalo. You just told that story. But in Cleveland, there are some places have haven't been great for a long time and their fans have stuck with them but you and i both have played in a lot of stadiums with a lot of tarps over to the top of the stadium because their team isn't winning at the time and then as soon as they start winning that thing fills up people like to be happy you can't blame them you can't blame them at all that people like to be happy speaking of happy are you happy with the way the nfl is going with the rules changes almost making it impossible to play defense in the nfl these days uh initially i wasn't at all man because i thought they were

just being over the top and trying to set an example for other people not to do it so it was it was really to me it came across as petty right um that you can't hit a guy this way, you can't do that, you can't do that. It seemed that over time they kind of backed up and backed off of it a little bit. They wanted to, like, set the tone early on and show, like, we're going to come down to your hall, we're going to find you for this, this, and eject you or whatever the deal was. We're going to do it, but then we're going to back off.

So it seemed like now they're letting guys play a little bit. I mean, look at that play with the Saints, right, when the guy, you know, the Saints and the Rams. That couldn't be more of a blatant, like, if that happened when they first implemented those rules, that guy would have got thrown not out the stadium but probably out the city for that kind of play. But, you know, they seem like they're backing off a little bit

because the fans Overall just don't like it I sat in a commissioners forum At the draft Did you go to yours? No I missed mine I was out Promoting and doing some stuff

For the league and for the team as well Okay so I respect that I thought you did a great job with the draft pick, by the way. You got the lights out dance in there. The world needs to see that every once in a while to be reminded of your greatness. I think that's a good thing. I sat in that commissioner's forum, though,

and listened to a lot of OGs talk about how the NFL handles retired players. What is your stance on that? You think the NFL does a good job, or you think there's some more to be desired? No, I think there's more to be done. We come at a time where, even though we think the contracts

are crazy, crazy right now, which they are getting big. You see some guys who probably don't deserve the full amount, but they are getting paid. We got some decent contracts too, but think of the guys before us that didn't really make the money that we made. They didn't have the TV platform or have the social media platform,

so they're kind of lost out in the realm. I think that it's easy for us to sit back and say, okay, we're cool. We got other stuff to do. But just looking at the overall picture and how the retired guys are treated overall, it's not really that great. I think they're getting better, but there's so much still to be done. What do you think

they should do? For one, they got to extend the health benefits. It can't be five or seven years. I mean, we played a sport that could possibly just stick something on your body for life, right? I think that once you go under the knife one time, that shoulder, ankle, knee, or whatever

it is, your back, it's never the same, right? So having someone covered for five years or seven years or whatever that ends up being, it has to be something that is covered much longer. There has to be something in a position where if a guy is struggling financially or something, something to get a guy back on his feet for whatever that reason is because we spend a lot of our time playing football and doing what the organizations and NFL wanted us and needed us to do at the time for our jobs, which didn't allow us time to do certain other

things, to have a head start in life as someone who may have went to school and now can work 12-hour days or 10-hour days doing one thing. So that's going to give them a head start. Some of these guys don't have that head start. So there's tons of things that the NFL can still do. I know they're trying and they have gotten better, but there's tons of work to be done. I agree completely.

I'm on your side. And even though you skipped the fucking forum, that's basically what was said in there as well. Just want to let you know. We relayed that message. Just want to let you know that we relayed that message to our commission. Who's your mentor when it comes to off the field stuff? Because right now you have a lot going on man you you are grinding i mean

every day you wake up at six still and get in the gym that's insane but who is your mentor business wise uh is it somebody from the nfl that you've run into in the past who ran and started doing their own business is there a businessman that you've run into in san diego or los angeles that has taken you under their wing to kind of teach you or is it all trial and error um it's a combination of both uh when it comes to uh having a mentor right because depending on the industry you talk about the clothing line and stuff like that so i got it uh involved in guys who are really really good and been around it's super experienced um you know uh in apparel industry it's done hundreds and millions of dollars in big retail stores and stuff like that.

So I was able to be a wing of theirs for three, four years before I had gotten to the apparel industry, before I even launched the clothing line properly. So I was there not to really make any big mistakes. As far as the business side of it, man, I've been blessed because I had some access to CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. If I make a call or have somebody on my team to make a call that I wanted to meet or I had an idea, they've always taken a meeting. So it was really up to me once I got there to put together a plan or give an idea that was going to be worthwhile. put together a plan or give an idea that was going to be worthwhile. And so just having the access of who and what I've done on the football field to being able to use that now, once I get the door, I mean,

I just at that point came to when I work, can't someone do more than I can. And, and, you know, I just proved that just I work and do more than anybody else. And that's kind of my, my motto. Just go hard. Who are some people that I respect that, who are some people that you, like who's one businessman that you called, you're like, I'd like a meeting with this person, you get in the door, you walk in there,

and I assume there's a little bit of jitters because it's like a Shark Tank pitch almost, but it's with one person. It's a whole new playing field, pun intended. Who is somebody that you walked in there and was incredibly responsive in a positive way than you could have imagined? I mean, you name of it. You know, Kevin Huvane, who is the head of CAA, has been somebody in the past who I've called on and, you know, sat down and met with.

And it gave me a bunch of influence. Paul Allen Mitchell, Diddy, Sean Combs. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Yeah. Paul Allen Mitchell Diddy Sean Combs Oh Oh Yeah I mean CA cool let's do that Paul Allen awesome that's a great name I assume he's done a lot of great things who's that

The computer guy yeah I used to work at Microsoft Oh just a little thing But let's talk about you and Diddy real quick You Diddy bopped with Diddy How's that come about you're like hey I let's talk about you and diddy real quick you diddy bopped with diddy how's that come about you're like hey i want to talk about sean john clothing i want to do this i want to talk about your vodka i want to talk about becoming a billionaire what what what is the conversation with diddy and do you tweet him like do you send like how's it you hit him up on linkedin where do you know no we have a we have a great relationship um you know he's somebody i

look up to and i would consider like family. And, you know, for me, you kind of look at, okay, so being an athlete, right, you're playing outside linebacker. Somebody would ask me maybe 20 years ago, 25 years ago, you know, who's your mentor? Who do you want to play the game like? And I would tell you Lawrence Taylor because that's the, you know, and that's the reason why I wore number 56. That's why I did all these things because I wanted to you, Lawrence Taylor, because that's the reason why I wore number 56.

That's why I did all these things, because I wanted to be like Lawrence Taylor. Well, when you talk about your other interests in business and talking about growth and having multiple businesses, you look at Diddy and look at what he's accomplished and having Revolt, right. Which is a network, right. You have a vodka, you have Sean, John, you have colognes, where you have someone who has all these things lined up and like, okay, how in the hell are you doing this? And when you have people like that willing to give you their time and show you not only what they did, because it's not about them talking to you.

It's about them letting you have the access to other things, right? So if he called his president of whatever company, Revolt or whoever it is, and they say, okay, cool, he made the call for me, go meet with him. And that conversation is different when I come in now. And that's what it was like, you know, for the last, I guess, 12 years. No, 13 years. And that just keeps us one. I'm just saying that when you have this access, that's what

life is really about, man, is having access. If you got access, now it's up to you on what you want to do with it, or what you're going to do with it. I should have tackled more people. I should have just tackled more people. You know what I mean? I should have tackled more people. I'll have just tackled more people. You know what I mean? I should have tackled more people.

I'll send a tweet to Denny tomorrow, see if we can link up. I heard he just watches an insane amount of documentaries on people that have been successful in the past. I heard that's like one of his things. Yeah, not only that, you read books. I mean, you go and you see books and books and information of anybody who he wanted to. I mean, before he even got in the alcohol business and that. I mean, he would tell you the five or 10, 15 top, you know, people in their industry, you know, and that's how he is.

That's also where I learned, hey, if you want to go into this, get a hold of this person. Also, where I learned, hey, if you want to go into this, get a hold of this person. If you want to go into that, see if you can get a hold of that person because you can't go wrong with somebody that's experienced and now you've got access. Now the door is open. What are you going to do with it? Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, I'll tell you what. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with it.

I'm very thankful you opened your phone line today, though. This has been an incredible conversation, Sean. I hope lights out extreme fighting. Why'd you decide to drop the E off of extreme? Just because X is cooler? No, no, it's lights out extreme fighting. Yeah, but it's extreme. Like, it's actually X-treme, right?

Yeah, it's X-treme. I think that for us, it really puts emphasis on what X-treme is. I mean, because you've got the regular way of spelling extreme. But, I mean, people are going to find out this Saturday and on the 16th when they're showing Fox Sports what that extreme is. These guys are like they're hungry as hell. And it's like hard for me sometimes to really focus because I want to get to the fight.

You know, we're dealing with production and commission and the whole nine, but I'm like, I want to see these guys throw down because that's why I'm in it. I want to promote these fighters and promote the league, and knowing that they're going to put on a great show makes me excited. Okay, so let's say it crushes, first show crushes, and UFC comes up to you and says, we'd like to buy your promotion out right now.

Is there a number in your head? You're like, yeah, you can take it for this. Yeah. Anybody say that they won't sell is a damn lie, right? Because there's always,

I don't care what you say. There's, there's a number for everything. But if you're getting into the business to sell, then you're not really going to make it too far. You got, you got to build and, and, and enjoy what you're getting into the business of sales, then you're not really going to make it too far. You got, you got to build and, and,

and enjoy what you're doing. And I'm all about the process, man. I actually really, really enjoy the process of doing what I'm doing right now. And if I was in the business of, of doing something so I could sell it, then what's the need of building it?

You know, he's like, you got to enjoy the process and learning and failing and, and, and getting back up and going back at it before it even feel good to get bought out. Like, you know, if somebody comes and you all get an offer to mount, that's not going to feel that good. You just, you know how much work it took to even get it here? Like, you got to, like, live through this thing, man.

This is an exciting time for Lights Out. I mean, it really is. Hell yeah, I'm excited for you are you expecting some adversity whether it's a camera going out out of nowhere uh a low blow happening in the middle of one of your matches something just outlandish that could possibly happen anytime you put two human cockfighters in a cage are you expecting some sort of adversity yeah you'll you'll always have little stuff i mean the biggest fear for us is always not anybody and fighting in general, especially in combat sports.

In MMA, it's two or three weeks leading up to the fight. You know, guys get injured. We had one or two guys that fall. And we got, you know, we got the field. But, you know, we had two guys that go down. And, you know, it's a part of the sport. You get somebody else in there that's ready to go and so you don't have to drop

a big fight. You get another big fighter in there who's been waiting on the fight and physically ready to go and now they go fight. Well, let's go. I'm excited for you. I can't wait to watch it take off. Last question. Who's your favorite football player playing football right now outside of the Chargers? Football

player? Yeah. I would say Khalil. Khalil Mack. That's a Bears fan clapping back there. Kind of. He's not really a Bears fan, but he's from Chicago, so his family likes when the Bears win. You know, I mean, I've got relationships with guys I love,

but when I look and see him play and kind of how I played the game, he's another level up because I believe that he's more of a complete player than I was. But just watching him play is fun because he caused havoc every time he comes off the snap. Like you don't know that's going to be the play that he'd get to stack or make something big happen. It could be every single one, and that's why it's exciting to watch. Very humble of you there to say he's a more complete player than you. You don't hear that a lot from retired players

who have an incredible legacy on the football field. I respect the hell out of that. I also respect the fact that you're going out on your own and making businesses happen here. Also, the fact that you're just friends with Diddy. That's fucking wild. Sean, thank you so much for joining us, brother. Hey, thanks, brother. I I appreciate it thanks for having me

does your fighting league have a twitter handle or social media or anything like that yeah lights out xf and you can go to lights out xf to lights out xf dot com for the tickets we got a few left and hopefully come there and enjoy yourself let's go good luck congratulations

I can't wait to see it lights out xf on social media. Let's follow along. I hope it has nothing but success, my brother. Cheers. Thank you so much for your time today. Sean Merriman. Thank you, man.

Thanks, brother. Appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. You're incredible, dude. Thanks, dude. Have me back on. Let me know when you're back out west. We'll get you to a show.

We got, and I should have mentioned, but maybe we'll go back on again, but Chris McCain, man, outside linebacker, defensive end. We just signed him, and he's fighting on the July 6th card. So I'll promote that, you know, sometime in June. But yeah, man, we got,

I'm going after Royce White, former NBA player. We got two hockey players that's probably going to come over. So shit, man, it's going to be pretty cool. Let's go. We'll keep this all in. We'll two hockey players that's probably going to come over. So shit, man. It's going to be pretty cool. Let's go. We'll keep this all in.

We'll keep this all in. What are some other ex-athletes that you're looking to come fight in your cage? After Chris McCain, as soon as Royce White, who played in the NBA for some time, as soon as he's done with the big three, he's going to fly in and meet with me and he's probably going to take a

couple amateur fights. We're talking to a couple guys that play for the goals, the San Diego goals that got moved up and down from the Anaheim Ducks team. So, shit, man, that's really going to be our stick. We're going to get

some athletes from other sports to transition over. How about like Lev Bell and that guy that was talking shit on his rapping? Who was that? There was some guy that was bashing Lev Bell's rapping. I don't remember. Keenan Allen. Keenan Allen, the wide receiver. He fucking smashed him.

Yeah, he did. I mean, it went viral too. I think you open up a bag though though Get Lev Bell And Keenan Allen In the goddamn In the cage What's gonna What's gonna happen is

It's gonna be A lot of guys Like so So I retired at 28 Right I played Fucking 8 years Really 7

Cause I missed The whole 2008 season Or whatever it was You know if you look at it God's fuck If you're 27 28 years old And you get done

You can still fucking Fight for almost 8, 9 years If you If you wanted to How about H old and you get done, you can still fucking fight for almost eight, nine years if you wanted to. Herschel Walker's still fighting, I think. No, he's done. He fought in Bellator. Yeah, but hey, I saw him just a couple months ago. Still got it, by the way. You want to line him up with some amateurs,

I think you can get Herschel Walker and knock some people out and lights out xf yeah he yeah he's 50 something years old you know he's 50 something years old so are we still alive well we could be if you want i mean this could all get edited out or we can keep it going if you want to talk shit on herschel walker we'll definitely keep it in you're a good dude i want you to know that, and I appreciate you, man. Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. All right. See you.

All right. You got it. If I had to bet, I'd bet that lights out XF without the E. The E is silent. X-Con will give it to you. Oh, I was about to make so many DMX references whenever he was. Well, my dog said it. Yeah, it means that it's going to be good fighting.

Oh, does it? Does it mean, oh, oh, it? I was a little bit worried but I would bet that Lights Out Extreme Fighting is going to do well I am going to say that it's going to be some real brawlers in there attempting he can't say it but I'm going to say it

these dudes are going to be trying to kill each other it's their first time getting any promotion getting on TV, they're street fighters that are getting a little bit of love and possibly a good paycheck. I bet it's going to be great. All my other bets, you can track them with the Action Network.

The Action Network lets you track all of your favorite bettors' bets. It also lets you track your bets and how you're doing. They also keep track of your bets if you're betting on multiple things, so you can keep track of how you're doing. Green Dot City is what we're looking for. Red dot's not so great, but it happens in the gambling world.

Also on the Action Network, thousands and thousands of documents and articles and things of that nature to make you an informed gambler. It's not gambling when you have the Action Network. It's investing. Did you hear that? I love it. Let me say it again it's not gambling when you fuck around with the action network it's investing in yourself oh i felt that they're a massive operation over there hiring a lot of very smart people and gambling just got

legalized in indiana so if you're in indiana you're about to get into the sports gambling world now that it's legal there's one place you need to go. And that's the action network. You can track me. You can track all the guys in this office, digs, gorms, Todd, bro, bro, bro bets. There are very active bunch on there and they seem to be winning a lot. Todd was a terrible gambler. The worst. Todd was a very bad gambler. Thought we lost Todd for a little bit until he started reading the Action Network. You can see where the sharp money is going. You can see where the dummies are going. You can see why people are betting on things.

Just become an informed gambler with your friends at Action Network. Go to http://getaction.app/. You hear me? Yeah. GetAction.app forward slash Pat. You hear me? Yeah.

HTTP colon forward slash forward slash GetAction.app forward slash Pat. Is that not something you want to do, though? You want to be a better gambler. Yeah, of course. You want to make money. You want to have a little bit of side cash so that when you go out, you're king of the castle. King of the castle. Speaking of king of the castle, here's a guy who has a kid, just celebrated a birthday,

and he bends over in front of humans for a living. Joining us now, a man who is bent over in front of more first picks in the history of the NFL from Moontown ship, Western Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic League

Hall of Famer. Went to Penn State New Sandusky Don't hold it against them Starting center for the Arizona Cardinals Alan Quay Shipley You know, it was going really well there for a minute It was really going well

And you had to take it into a different era I don't understand why we had to go that way i don't get it facts are facts alan quay i don't know what i don't get it what what was that i don't get it i don't get it well there's a lot of things i want to say right here but for the sake of the children i will stay away from it uh i'm sorry i mentioned that you had nothing to do with that obviously all you are is a great football player who happens to be on a team right now whose head coach was partying with Tom Brady in Louisville just over the weekend. How's the team feel about it?

I mean, good for him, right? Cliff Kingsbury. Unbelievable. This guy's got more pictures with Tom Brady than I got with you. I mean, come on. Cliff Kingsbury, new head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, was a part of the Tom Brady entourage down at the Kentucky Derby. A lot of people said, wow, what a handsome group of men.

The only thing I thought was, wow, what a life this Cliff Kingsbury guy is currently living. Gets a head coaching gig, gets the number one pick of the draft. He has A.Q. Shipley as his center, and he parties with Tom Brady on the weekend. This guy's a legend. Legend. I mean, he's just winning life right now. How is he as a head coach?

Good so far. I mean, everything's been really good. It's strictly business. Doesn't have a whole lot of slogans, if you will. You know where I'm going. Doesn't have a whole lot of slogans, if you will. You know where I'm going. Doesn't have a whole lot of things to say other than let's just play football

and let's install this offense and let's get rolling. Let's get this thing turned around. Let's go back to what you were talking about with slogans. What do you mean, man? What are you talking about? Keep the main thing the main thing, bro. What are you talking about? I'm not a huge fan of slogans. I don like it i just anybody that comes in with a slogan usually

that's my that's my first it's my first red flag it's my first red flag you come in hey we're gonna be this no we're not we're gonna be whoever we're gonna whatever we're gonna put on film that's who we're gonna be you can say we're gonna be the toughest team but as you put it on film you're not the toughest team am i correct what if we're the fastest team has anybody thought about that you don't know if we're going to be the fastest team maybe we'll be the smartest team who knows if we're going to be the toughest but if you come in with the preconceived mantra usually never ends what do you think the arizona cardinals are going to be this year? Thank you. Improved. I think that's the best way to put this.

I mean, I think, you know, once this whole thing gets rolling and gets instowed, you never know what can happen. You and I were a part of a team coming off a 2-14 season. Nobody thought we were going to be good. Nobody thought anything until you start getting some momentum, you start rolling a little bit. Before you know it, you're 11-5 making the playoffs. Has Kyler Murray showed up in Arizona yet? Shows up tomorrow.

What do you mean? You guys don't have rookie minicamp yet? No, this weekend. I thought everybody did it last week. No, there's like a split. I don't know how many teams do it, but some teams go two weeks from the draft. Some teams go the next week.

We're one of the crew that goes the two weeks after. Where's his locker? Is it next to yours? Do you know yet? No. I think it's over. They've got quarterbacks here. They've got the O-line here.

They've got it all split up. It's away from us. Are you kind of upset about that? I mean, don't you think you and the guy who's going to be on your taint should be next to each other? I mean, I haven't been next to a quarterback, I don't think, ever in a locker room. So I think we'll just keep it that way.

I don't deserve to be over near those guys. They make way too much money. Okay. What was Cliff Kingsbury's meeting like? is he does he come in there does he command the room does he call out the veterans does larry fitzgerald like him yeah i think everybody likes him i think again like i think as football players and i think you can attest to this right i mean i think all like you don't want people just coming in and just talking and talking and talking it's like hey

okay say your point say what we got to say let's go out and practice let's go out and play a game whatever it may be but let's not sit here and talk about this for 30 minutes like there's no point in doing that so i think he does a great job just coming in like relaying his message of the day relaying the schedule and then let's keep a movement let's let's you know break it up get to your position rooms and and go from there. Did you text me from a cell phone break from one of Cliff Kingsbury's patented cell phone breaks? Sure did.

I sure did today during a cell phone break. I did. So what happens? Like a buzzer goes off in the room. It's like an hourglass is sitting there, and it's like, all right, boys, cell phone break time. How does it work? It's funny.

A lot of coaches, they'll say things to make it sound good in the media, right? I mean, I think just like a lot of people, I'm sure you've read that whole thing whenever the whole cell phone thing comes out. It's like, man, is he really going to give these guys cell phone breaks? But, like, I've never seen anything like it. It's wild. Like, these coaches are so in tune to this.

It's like our assistant line coach, you see him almost peeking at the clock every 30 seconds. Like, man, two more minutes, we've got a cell phone break. So I'm watching him. I'm like, man, two more minutes. I can't wait for these two more minutes. Here we go. We've got another break.

Ah, Jesus. Zito has questions because Zito's in the trenches zito's been wondering a lot of things all day zito the floor is yours aq did you hear zito's ad read from the other show by the way the last show no was it good it was very good people were saying it was the worst reading they've ever heard in their entire life people are saying that what do you got to say about that you know i mean i'm sure you have a rebuttal uh yes i have It was the worst reading they've ever heard in their entire life. People are saying that. What do you got to say about that? I mean, I'm sure you have a rebuttal. Yes, I have a problem reading in a mic sometimes.

Okay. It's the microphone. It's the microphone, I think. If the microphone wasn't here, you'd be good. Shouldn't that be a number one quality on a communications program? Yeah, not the reading portion, because i'm usually right off the tongue you know top tip of the tongue no i don't use that i just use my tongue okay right off the tongue uh aq uh for you bouncing back what kind of workouts are you uh trying to slowly get back in so you get that knee going that a boy zito in the trenches this is a good question i like this

so uh i'm basically full tilt at this point i'm doing everything i was doing kind of beforehand but leading up to it it's uh coming up a knee injury most people don't realize that like the knee once they do the surgery is pretty much fixed it's just kind of building the strength up of everything around it so like it was kind of a wild thing. Like, you know, as soon as the bandage comes off and as soon as you see the whole thing, like after the surgery, it's literally your quad, you have no quad, you have no calf muscle or you have nothing around the knee.

There's no muscle at all. So the next six months is all just building up those areas. So you do a ton of things to build up the quad, a ton of things to build up the calf and build all those areas up around the knee and all the little adductors, adductors and all the other, you know, muscles in between that kind of are all connected in some way, shape or form to the knee. I mean, and you were kind of built like Wreck-It Ralph to begin with. If there's one thing that I had that was extremely defined from a muscle standpoint, I got calves. I have calves.

Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. And my left calf was one-third of the size of my right calf instantly after the surgery. Looking like Test Tube Baby out there. That's what you got. Yeah, it was real weird looking. I see Zito has three more Test Tube Baby out there. That's what you got. It was real weird looking. I see Zito has three more questions written down over there. He read that first one perfectly.

We're proud of you, Zito. Thank you very much. Are you worried to snap to a shorter quarterback? He's 5'10". He is 5'10 and 1'8". That has to be the shortest quarterback you've ever snapped to, right? It is, 100%. Great question.

This is a great question, but the good news is I know you guys are into the whole college football thing. You guys like to bet a little bit, right? Allegedly. All of college football is all shotgun, correct? Pretty much. So 99% of what we're going to be doing,

what do you think it's going to be? Under center. Shotgun. I think it's going to be? Under center. Shotgun. I think that's why it would be harder. Shotgun for the smaller guy that leaves you less room for error. You just put it back there in a window. They can always make the play. They're much more athletic than offensive linemen.

They'll always get it. Sound like a fucking long snapper for a punt. Just get it back there in a five-yard radius. You'll be able to catch it and punt it. No problem at all. Don't worry about it. What do you aim for whenever you're doing that snapping thing? His crotch?

I don't look. You don't look. It's just muscle memory at this point. You just don't look. You just come up and you're ready to roll. He's tiny, though. I mean, this guy is tiny. Are you going to try to shoot it lower?

I mean, I'm not changing a thing. I mean, I hope it hits him somewhere in the window. I really do because I'm not changing a thing. I mean, I hope it hits him somewhere in the window. I really do because I'm not changing a thing. I keep my wrist locked. I go back. As soon as my elbow hits my thigh, I let go of the ball. That's what I do.

That's what I've done for a long time. I don't want to put too much in your head, but is there any thinking on the snap, or are you thinking about everything else? Everything else. Snaps, like, if the snap's not second nature, by the time you're getting ready to snap the ball, you got a lot of more fucked up issues in your world.

Hey, we had a guy, I think you remember, we had a guy that couldn't snap, got like the yips from snapping and that became quite a problem, quite a problem. It's funny, man. Like I've been on a couple teams where guys, like, we had a guy that I'm, like, really good friends with where when he was out here, it was funny as hell. He literally, after every snap in practice,

he'd snap and as soon as the play was over, like, he couldn't look back fast enough. Where was it? Where was it? Where was the ball? I'm like, that's got to be terrifying. If after every single snap, you're like, shit, where'd it go? Oh, shit, where'd it go? I couldn't even.

That would become quite a terrible thing because it's every single play. Not only do you have to worry about that, but also you got Aaron Donald, potentially a guy who trains with knives about to bull rush you or run your ass over. Yeah. If that's not the biggest problem you're worried about, getting ready to snap a football, you might as well just hang it up. Send your sleep to him.

Great question there, Zito. Thank you. Last question? Yeah, sure. Whatever you want. Why were we invited to your daughter's birthday party? That's a great question. Great question.

Because I wasn't invited either. It was his fucking first birthday party. His daughter's going to remember it forever. I assumed that this is something I would be invited to. Turns out, none of us were invited. Zito in the trenches wasn't invited. Nick Morato, who hosts the show That's Hockey Talk with AQ, wasn't invited. Ty Schmidt, who answers the phone every time AQ calls, wasn't invited.

Evan Foxey, who's golfed around a golf with AQ and stayed at his house, wasn't invited. Ty Schmidt, who answers the phone every time AQ calls, wasn't invited. Evan Foxey, who's golfed around a golf with AQ and stayed at his house, wasn't invited. And me, I was the best man at his first wedding. I wasn't invited. Yeah, this is a great question, guys. I really don't like the question one bit, but it was a good one. This is journalism.

Well, here's the thing. There's this thing called the United States, and in between the United States, here's the thing. There's this thing called the United States, and in between the United States, there's these things, these borders, right? And in the borders, there's these things called states. I invited people that live in the state of Arizona. Oh, boy! How would they say to friendship?

My own parents were not even invited to this thing. They weren't. Oh. Has AQ changed? Has AQ changed now that he's got his fifth number one draft pick about to stand behind him? Won't even invite us. My parents are

coming out here in two weeks so I can go on vacation. So that's the reason why they weren't invited. Oh, so they'll celebrate the 54th week of life for Skyler. Yeah, she gets like 22 birthday parties. We weren't invited to any of them. Wait a minute. It's just getting worse and worse.

Where are you going on vacation? You guys want to come out? We'll throw one for tomorrow. You guys want to come out? We're busy, man. We got stuff to do. We got stuff to do. All right. Well, there you go. Might have a hockey talk episode. Hey, pretty good little podcast you guys put together by the way. Good little hockey conversation by the boys there.

It's a lot of fun. I'm really pumped about it. Are you enjoying it? Maybe you'll get to go in the broadcast boot camp because you have podcast skills. I mean, do you think I'll get in? Listen, AQ, I'd assume you'd get in on your first try. I've been

rejected three times now. Three times! Are you really? Yeah! Two times while playing, one time since graduating. What? Retiring. You get it? They must think you have a radio voice. All right. Nick has a question for you, please. Nick. Is that funny?

He really liked that one. I was an alley-oop to myself, just saying. Hey, where are you going on vacation? Great question, Nick. Going to Mexico. By adult Carmen. the beach of carmen yeah that would apply apply means beach oh yeah zito says yes he's our official translator he can't speak spanish but he can translate the shit out of it best buy translator for two years i love what you guys got going on over there i mean you got somebody for everything.

You're damn right. And people don't know, Zito's actually African, too. So we got the Cuban-African. A lot of people say we don't have any black people. 23andMe tell you that? Is that what happened? 23andMe? And my grandfather. And I'm Italian.

Huh. Pleasure to meet you, AQ. Hey. I got a question. Good to meet you. Yeah, Foxy. Actually, you can answer this, too, Pat. I got a question. Good to meet you. Yeah, Foxy. Actually, you can answer this too, Pat. I'll answer first.

Actually, a real question, though. What's it like getting a new head coach? Well, it's like you've got to prove yourself all over again. Everything changes. It's like you're a rookie again. It really is like you're a rookie again. For me, it was like I was a rookie. I wasn't old enough to be considered a veteran

because I wasn't in the Reggie Wayne, Adam Vinatieri world, but I wasn't old enough to be considered a veteran because I wasn't in the Reggie Wayne, Adam Vinatieri world, but I wasn't young enough to be like, oh yeah, I don't have a clue what I'm doing. And I had an arrest on my record at the time, and my Twitter was pretty lit, which I didn't love. So for me, it was like I had to prove myself all over again. AQ's been through

45 head coaches. I'm excited to hear his thoughts. No, I agree with you. And it was interesting last year coming in, you know, with Coach Wilkes coming in because ultimately there's nobody upstairs that is going to form an opinion without watching film, right? So once Coach Wilkes watched film, like then, like, okay, cool. Like he liked what he saw on film about me. So boom,

like I'm already in like his good graces. Well, Cliff Kingsbury, he's not going to go back and look at 2016, 2017 tape. Right. So you turn on 2018 tape, there's no AQ Shipley out there.

So it's like, and then, Hey, we're going to go out to OTAs and, Oh, he's not doing that either. So then my, my first kind of thing that

he's going to really see is training camp so hopefully I can put together a decent impression hopefully but I think yeah I mean it's a pretty pretty interesting situation I'm in right now I saw how that Tom Brady crew was operating down here to Kentucky Derby both on social media and on the TV why don't you go show him how you hammer some beers? I think you'll be a big fan immediately. I can do that. I know that. Can I tell you my luck? I can do that. I'll tell you my luck with new head coaches.

Going into my senior year, soccer, high school, new head coach, guy hated me. Going into my senior year, college, WVU, new head coach, planning for the future. Going into my contract year, the Colts, new head coach, guy hated me. It's kind of been a string of luck that I have. So I'm just waiting on a potential contract in this business somehow and an entire new regime coming in the week before it's supposed to be renewed.

That kind of seems to be the way it's been going thus far. The good thing about your current situation is you are your own head coach you're goddamn right i am hey you're goddamn right i'm putting me in too yeah i'm putting me in a goddamn play so that's that's a good situation to be in me i'm the guy that like does not look fantastic in shorts so it's like hey we're gonna go out for like uh off-season workouts like who's that like 511 guy with like a belly that's like sticking out like oh that's our starting center from the last couple years oh really jesus we better get someone else well yeah yeah he's been on 14 different teams though the guy has a lot of experience uh he kind of been around been there done that longevity man it's all about hey what's the best what's the best ability availability i wish cliff kingsbury would

have walked in with that line as soon as he started i wish he would have just came in with that line immediately that one was always that one always worked in my favor until last year august 4th really always worked in my favor until that day i'll never forget just getting a bunch of pictures of you holding your head down there uh on the twitter i knew immediately what it was i said aq is not getting carted off something he's gonna walk that boy's from moon township pittsburgh pennsylvania must have been bad right yeah let's go yeah hey you yeah hey or then after you take your fourth step and your knee goes left then right and then just wobbles you're like i don't think this is good i don't think this is good

did it did you hear a pop or anything or was it just like you you could oh yeah everything you hear about that thing you you you feel the pop you feel instability. You don't feel any pain, though, because running through the ACL ligament is a nerve. And if you tear the ACL, you tear the nerve. You actually feel no pain at all. Interesting little tidbit there, guys. That is. That's a little fun fact. I bet you Jeopardy James knew that.

Are you watching that fucking guy? Is he still winning? Well, they had a teacher break here. They have a two-week teacher tournament that Alex Trebek is not happy with. Trebek is like, God damn it. We had this monster really railing and raking it in. Now we're going to stop it for these teachers that are winning like $7,200 a time. James was winning $97,000 per episode.

He'll be back, though, in a couple weeks. All right. Well, good for that guy. Is he the best ever on Jeopardy? Yeah, I think so. It doesn't matter. It's fake. They rigged it.

That's the Italian speaking right there. He thinks it's all rigged. It is. You know what I think's rigged? Huh? I don't know if you guys watch it. American Idol. No. I think think is rigged? I don't know if you guys watch it. American Idol. No.

I think it's rigged. No. Has anybody ever seen the name that's on the card of the person eliminated? No. I'm calling it right now. Ryan Seacrest would not let that fly. Ryan Seacrest is not going to host something that jumped the shark 10 years ago. I think the writers and the producers control the narrative of who they want to be the final boss.

And what are you going to say? You're saying Bachelor and Bachelorette's rigged too? I don't know. I don't watch that. But I watch American Idol. I watch me some American Idol. You've got to be the only guy left watching that. I didn't know it was still on. I didn't know anybody watches that show watch that. But I watch American Idol. I watch me some American Idol. You've got to be the only guy left watching that show. I didn't know it was still on.

I didn't know anybody watches that show yet. Oh, it's back on. It's Seacrest is making $15 million a year. What? With the redo. So let's just be clear there. Yeah, but the only reason why he's making that is because there's like four people in each state watching. And those borders you're talking about, you're the only guy from Arizona watching that show.

I'm certain of it. chance people watch it people want to see the rig job they want to see it and it's rigged this year as far as i'm concerned why did your guy or girl get voted off all the good ones have been voted off well why would american idol want to vote off the good ones if they if they want to have a show because it's all about stories in america it's all about stories hey shark tank's starting to do that bullshit where they're starting to do the backstory behind it before going i like the stories me neither just give me the fucking talent or give me the business i i respect what they've been through we all have a story i respect it a lot but hey for these talent shows just dance for me and. And for the business thing, just pitch.

I want to hear your numbers. Don't make me feel terrible. And then when you go in there and say your business has only made $2,500 in 24 months, and it's like, well, why didn't Mark Cuban give them a million dollars? That's a good person. I don't want to hear it, AQ. I don't either. I'm with you, man.

There's no gray area with me. You're either going to impact me positively. I don't give a shit about your story. I don't care how bad it was before. I don't care how good it's going to be later. If you can make me money on Shark Tank, if you can sing, you move forward. Don't care about your story. Is that your opening speech when you become a head coach?

Is that going to be your saying, your statement? Did it sound good? It did. It sounded pretty good. I think you put that on the wall, maybe on a t-shirt. Alright. There's my opening quote. There it is. Will you coach?

I'm up in the air. Some days, I'm all in. Other days, I'm a podcaster, man. I don't know. Alright. This show's over. This show's completely over. I'm good about that one, too.

I'm happy you just had a walk off to yourself there. That's good. Hey, in case you guys are wondering what I'm doing the rest of the night, I'll be watching a hockey game later. How come? It's my job. Why is that? I don't know.

But, man, it's been the best excuse ever. Could you not plug the show right there? If you're a podcaster, plug the show right there. Don't coach. Don't podcast. You don't even want to know the first time I used that line. Sherry was like, oh, let's go take Sky for a walk. I'm like, listen, I got work to do.

I'm sitting there watching a Penguins game. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I have a podcast now, okay? This is part of my job. I would love to hear her just start talking shit to you too like nobody wants to hear you aq oh it was yeah it's it's just possible god i love just i love pushing buttons turds it's my favorite thing in the world that's marriage i think that's what marriage is isn't it it's kind of just a constant game of button pushing to see when the game breaks yep yep

yep that's exactly how it goes i would like to know why we weren't invited to a birthday party to see when the game breaks. Yep. Yep. Yep, that's exactly how it goes. I would like to know why we weren't invited to her birthday party, though. Was that Sherry's fault, or was it your fault? Well, honestly... Yeah. Honestly, it's... I knew you had your own birthday party,

and I never would want to interfere. You're right. You're a hundred percent right. I only have a certain amount left. Skylar's got infinity. She's going to live forever because she has great parents and her dad is a hilarious podcast. And she can have, she can have as many as she wants throughout this month.

You, you're, you're, you're past that age. You know, you get one on that day. That's it. And you skip her.

We just give her one every goddamn day. Hey, today's your birthday. Happy birthday. How did you pick the cake? How did I what? How did you pick the cake? You want to hear this story? I got two jobs the day of the party.

Hey, EQ. Go pick up the food and go pick up the cake. So, all right. It's a lot of pressure, though, if you think about it. What kind of food did you have there? I'm like, God, I have two jobs to do. If I fuck up one of these, that's a 50% mark. That's all the fame in baseball, though.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's a good point. Thank you. So anyway, so I go pick up the cake first. Podcast. The barbecue, which we ended up picking up, was a little further away. So I pick up the cake first.

I'm driving to go get the barbecue. Oh, pressure here. And I'm, like, really trying to, like, take it semi-easy, but I'm on a good road, so I'm doing a little faster than the speed limit. Oh, no. And I see a cop going the other direction and i'm like oh man like you know he can't if he's driving there's no way he can he can pull me over right oh no absolutely not that's the rules i see him on the other side of the road slow down pull pull the Yui, lights on. Oh! Whoop, whoop! So I hit the brakes. The cake smashes into the back of my console in my car.

Oh, my God. This is why cops get a bad rap. So I'm looking at it. I'm like, geez, this is not good. I had literally two jobs, and I already fucked up one of them. I'm 0 for 1 so far. Yep. And I look at the cake. It's a two-tier cake.

The entire top is mangled. It's mangled. Oh, my God. What do you do now? So the cop comes up, right? Hey, officer, how you doing? I hand him. First of all, I put the windows down.

He says, what are you in such a hurry for? I said, well, I'm heading back. I got my daughter's first birthday party. See the cake? It's like, well, it's half a cake now, but see the cake? He's like, oh, he's like, yeah, yeah. He's like, I'll try and hurry this up and get you on your way. And so he's like, license registration.

I handed him my license. But I always, as an NFL player, we get these NFLPA cards. I put my NFLPA card on top of my license. I hand it to him, and he's like, what's this? I'm like, well, our director of security told me to, you know, always if we ever get in like a little running with the law, like, you know, he'll extend a courtesy. Okay, cool.

Thank you. He looks at it. He goes, I don't know what this is, and he hands it back to me. Good. I'm happy about that well i said i said okay i'm over two jesus this day's not going well and so then he comes back gives me a ticket i'm like oh god i go pick up the barbecue i come home wait no warning it's your daughter's first birthday party what's that no warning he gives He gives you a rate to find? Gives me the ticket.

And this is what he comes back with. This is what he comes back with. And I was ready. I wanted, obviously, I knew it was a horrible decision if I would have followed through with this, but I wanted to punch him so hard. This is what he says. He goes, hey, you're doing 20 over the speed limit, which, as you know, in Arizona, is actually criminal.

But I'm just going to give you the civil one here. I go, oh, thanks. Appreciate it. Like, geez. Have a heart. Have a heart, guy. Have a heart, right? Yeah.

So then I go home. And, well, I called Sherry first. And I had this like real like sad voice and i'm like listen i know you're not gonna be real happy with me she's like she's like what happened i'm like i'm like selling it like i got into like a car accident right she's like and then finally i was like listen like I hit the brake and then the cake tipped over and the cake's kind of ruined. And she's like, I think she was like, so like expecting me to be like, I like fell, like my car went off into a ditch that like, she was like, oh, it's okay, babe. Like we'll make it work.

We'll make it work. Oh my God. And I, I get home and I show her the cake and like her look, like if she could have killed me, that's about where we were at. But she made it work. She made it work. She like had like a bunch of like flowers left over. She trimmed them. And like there was literally like a whole half of the cake missing.

We just covered it with flowers. So you got like a $200 200 fine a fucked up cake and you tried to give her a sob story thinking that you were gonna win her over and it all just completely backfired how was the barbecue was it burnt it's the best barbecue i've ever had thank god that a boy saved the day oh what a treat you are as a human being what What a fucking treat. By the way, I've never heard any stories of anybody actually using those cards. I refuse to. We got, oh, somebody looked at the cake and they go, oh, the cake looks really good. I go, yeah, lift up those flowers.

I bet it looks just as good under there. The good thing is your baby will not remember a single moment from that birthday party, so nobody will know. Exactly right. We might have one again tomorrow with the new cake. Tell her that was her birthday. Yeah, because those little babies don't remember shit. She's got terrible-

And then we'll invite you guys, and we'll send invites out. Let's go. We're not coming. We like two-tiered cakes. Jesus, what a crowd. Call me when a baby can remember something. We like two-tiered cakes. Jesus. Tough crowd. Call me when a baby can remember something. You know what I mean?

All right, I'll talk to you. All right. See you later, man. AQ is always electric. He really is. He's always electric. Oh, yeah. He is one of us. He's always electric. Oh, yeah. He is one of us.

He's a dum-dum who just so happens to be a 12-year NFL fan. One of us. Didn't invite us, though, but he's one of us. Yeah, you're right. Has he changed? Has 12 years in the NFL changed him? We're starting to wonder, I guess. We're starting to wonder a little bit.

But I appreciate his friendship. I appreciate him calling in and having that chat. He says Cliff Kingsbury, good coach, by the way. AQ is a guy who would know. I think he's motored through no less than 75 coaches. I'm back on the keto diet. I let myself go there for a couple weeks, but I'm back on the keto diet. And sometimes your energy can dip on the keto diet because you're losing carbs, right?

Although your body feels better, there's always something missing whenever you do do the keto some things that are normally in your life kind of disappear for me i'm a big coffee drinker so i couldn't find any coffee that had low carbs i could stay in ketosis until oh a keto coffee called super coffee came along yes it's founded by three brothers each a d1 athlete who needed healthy energy to fuel their 5 a.m. practices and late nights in the library. Okay. Now, that's not me. That is not why I drink this coffee. I am not on the Sean Merriman schedule. I'm okay hitting the snooze button, sleeping in, and getting a lift in during regular time.

But you know what? It still works for you. Yep. You're 100% right. The youngest brother liked the super coffee so much that he dropped out of school to start this business, which you watch Shark Tank. That means they're committed to it. That means they like it and they got a good product. And I'm going to say good decision.

We've had a bunch in the office. All the coffee drinkers love it. And it's low carb. Tired of unhealthy energy drinks, Super Coffee pushes 200 milligrams of caffeine from organic, 10 grams of protein, 5 grams of MCT oil, and no sugar. This stuff is keto-friendly and gives you that sweetness you crave on the keto diet.

Sweet Tooth is tough to find on the keto diet. Shout-out to cookies I'm probably going to be selling soon. Shout-out to this coffee that tastes delicious. Whether you need a morning Kickstarter, a pre-workout jolt, or a 2 p.m. pick-me-up, Super Coffee provides 10 minutes of satisfying indulgence and four hours of functional energy. This shit actually works.

For our listeners only, $10 off at drinksupercoffee.com forward slash products forward slash pat. Listen, if you're a go-getter and you're going to drink this coffee, you're going to be able to figure it out. Drinksupercoffee.com forward slash products forward slash pat. Get $10 off right now. The biggest offer and only for listeners of this show. One person will get free Super Coffee for life. What? One person will get free Super Coffee for their life.

And I'd assume if you're worried about getting Super Coffee and you enjoy the healthy lifestyle, you're going to live a long time. That's a lot of fucking free coffee that is drink super coffee.com forward slash products forward slash pat a little pick me up three brothers d1 athletes they come from a great genetic system what a story what a story what a coffee what a life what a conversation we have in store for you he's the dumbest human on earth That guy's been in the NFL 12 years now

That's a 12 year NFL veteran Right there Still use that card I'm just fucking using a card We used to get those cards And I actually said like Whoever uses these cards Do people like

At clubs Would be like Excuse me You know what I mean You know who I am Here's my card What is it like a college ID Kind of

Yeah but it's like metal it's like a thin metal they've upgraded it used to be just this plastic little shithole card and they're like this should get you into clubs and stuff and like why are we getting shit to get into clubs um in there and i was like i think the first time i went out with somebody who used it i deleted the person's phone number i'm like i'm not using a card to ever do that again the last thing i want people to know is that i'm in the nfl right because when i go buy 200 drinks in here i don't want people to be like hey uh pat from the colts was just buying 200 shots on a thursday before a game that's the last thing i want good for aq though trying to get out of that him just completely swindling his wife though into thinking he's almost dead so that any news that comes after that is such a fucking move

such a good move by the guy oh babe i was driving there was a cliff oh my god i'm so happy you're okay oh i survived but it was the cake though the cake did not not. It's all right. As long as you're okay. And then she gets, he gets back and he's like, uh, here's a fine for $200. What a moment. She had to be so mad. Uh,

shout out. Thank you. Shipley. Huge. Thanks to Sean Merriman for joining us. Uh, NHL, St.

Louis blues, when St. Louis blues are moving on, they are going to play the winner of Colorado and San Jose, which happened last night. Shout out to San Jose locking that thing down. Shark Tank, it's always tough to play in there. It's always

tough to play in the Shark Tank. That's where the game was. Yeah, that's my bet too, so no, they lost. Good. Lock it in. St. Louis and San Jose for the West and Bruins and Carolina. Carolina, who Don Cherry hates. Tell for the West and Bruins and Carolina. Carolina, who Don Cherry hates. Tell you what, Boston Bruins look like a team that's really good at hockey.

And that Carolina Hurricanes team, really good at hockey, too. And the thing about the San Jose Sharks and the St. Louis Blues, when those guys get on the ice, you know what they can do, Ty? They can skate. They can skate. They can ice skate. They can. And they can shoot those pucks on the nets and they can utilize those wooden sticks and the carbon fiber sticks to use their dangles and i think this is setting up to be an incredible conference finals here both on the east side of the country and the west side of the country

ain't that right foxy winning formula what you just said there yeah i think you nailed it that's how you win hockey games good Good skating, good pucking, good sticking, good shifting, yeah, good line changing. I think we're going to see a lot of that from the NHL playoffs. And us as the fans, diehard fans of hockey, we get to reap the benefits of these

guys being so good at skating. That's what we live for. Especially when they go to double OT and you get to stay up all night and watch. It's a reward. It's a real treat. Free hockey! Free hockey! And that's hockey talk.

The NBA's still happening. Yeah, it is. Isn't it? Yeah. That one team played that one basketball game against that other basketball team and everybody was like, oh, that basketball team's done for. Because the one guy went out the night before the game and now he's passing the ball out of bounds every game. Passing it out of bounds, saying he's got an upper respiratory issue.

What was that, Zito? Upper respiratory issue? I thought you said upper respiratory. I might have. That's Zito's statement right there. He's been laying around too much. It's contagious. Yeah, the Sixers are dead. So, Drake

hasn't shown up to a Raptors game yet? No, he was there. He was there. He was there courtside. Oh, he just didn't have the jersey on? No. Is that it? He was there with what's-his-face, the guy from Clemson.

Yeah, Dabo. By the way, got a jumper. Really? They were showing him play two-on-two on the court before the game, I guess. He was all sweaty, so they were playing like a real pickup game in there. Fucking smooth little jumper from old Dabo. Wide receiver at Alabama. People forget.

Yeah, they do. You know what I mean? Man, so smart on his part. What's that? Just hanging out, palling it up with Drake. All he needs to do is, you know, he goes to a recruits house and he says, hey, you know who Drake is, right?

Just show the fucking picture of those two together. Have you ever heard of this guy? He's coming to every game next year. Oh, Aubrey? Shit, yeah, I know him. He won't be putting on a Clemson jersey because we all know about the curse now, don't we? Yeah, we do. You don't like Drake?

Okay, I'm going to put that away. Here's me draining a fucking wet jumper on Toronto Raptors basketball court. You ever heard of the NBA? You ever heard of the NBA? Good for that. Everything's just a swindle by this college coach. 100%. Just like AQ was trying to swindle his wife,

that's all college coaches are trying to do, swindle high school kids. Yep. Which I respect. Making millions and billions off of that. Good for them. Who's going to win the NBA? Golden State.

Golden State. I mean. People are saying they lost it, though. No, I mean. Klay Thompson's not happy. Gone. Gone. Gone.

They need something to talk about. Who? The NBA. Let's give them something to talk about. Who? The NBA. Let's give them something to talk about. Let's give them something to talk about. How about love? Is that the word love? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Huge thanks to AQ and Sean Merriman NBA, NHL and college football talk here on the day show And MMA talk Oh yeah We're a sports show, gang Yeah we are

Also We're a psychologist and counseling show You heard us do a little marriage counseling there for AQ? We did, yeah Dr. Phil doesn't do that shit, does he? You want to be a science show? Sure. Did you hear about the story about NASA?

They ran a simulation to stop an asteroid that was going to collide with Earth, potentially. How'd we do? It went from a 50,000 to one shot down to a 600% chance. No, sorry. Cut this out. Let me see. It went from a 50,000 to one shot down to a 600% chance. No, sorry. Cut this out. Let me see.

It went from a 50,000% chance to an almost certainty that an asteroid 600 miles wide was going to collide with Earth. And in the simulation, they shot rocket ships at it, broke off a piece, then it landed directly over New York City. Oh, no. Is New York all right? No, they killed everyone.

So that's the movie, though. That's that actual movie. That's Armageddon, yeah. That's the actual movie. There's one way to stop that, and it's Harry Stamper. Yeah, fucking Bruce Willis. Yeah, that's the only way. So it was supposed to land over Denver.

That was the original target. They're like, oh, we'll just shoot spaceships at it, send it off its trajectory. A piece about 200 miles wide, I think, broke off and fell out part of New York. In the simulation? Yeah. So we're simulating as if we know what the asteroid's made of?

Yeah. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. I'm happy we're just doing that. This is one that all the powers would collide and come together, right? Like Putin would be on the phone like, Oh, yeah. We fucked.

All this bullshit I want to fuck with down here with my oil and everything, we need to fuck with rock coming down from sky. We call it Jim Conn. Why is it landing in America, by the way? What do we do? How do they know with the circle of the Earth that it's going to hit us? I don't think it matters though. I think if that thing collides with Earth

it's a global wipeout. Oh, like when you dig to the other side. Because that would be the ultimate shovel. Because they actually, when I was in LA at the Griffin Observatory, they have a thing where you can type in how wide the asteroid is and it would show you its impact on the Earth.

Let me tell you what, it was about 50 times smaller than that and we're still talking global wipeouts. Hold on. Are we better if it lands in Denver or in Indiana? Are we better in Denver or New York? It doesn't matter. Good. We're dead either way.

They said the 600-foot-wide asteroid, if it hit in Denver, would cause unsurvivable conditions that even grains of sand would explode. Huh? Exactly. I'm not worried about no little pieces of sand blowing up. What's that?

Just like a little snap, crackle, pop, like the rock pop thing, the pop and rock things. We're not worried about that. You let me know whenever fucking mountains are going to blow up. That's why. Oh, buddy, it's all going. The Rocky's dead.

Gone. When are these coming? When's this thing coming? Oh, it was a simulation. They're just prepping just in case. So this isn't a real thing? No. Oh, God.

What a joke. Why would you even bring that into my life? I just thought i was potentially gonna have to dig a fucking whatchamacallit a uh an escape room well no you still might just let you know hey we're not as prepared as we thought we were are these the same people telling me that i got seven years left on earth or whatever no this is the uh what's it called the global defense initiative or something like that these are the people that i had that show where they had the escape route.

This is the digs, the survival. The Planetary Defense Conference. These people are paid by the government? NASA and FEMA. They're paid by the government? And space agencies around the world. I think we should start doing this. All right, let's say a fucking bird from outer space.

That is 275 feet wide. Decides to come down. The bird from Avatar flies in. Eats all of our fish in the sea. Now we got a fish shortage and decides to leave. How do we fix the problem? Well, do you shoot the bird down before it gets there? Well, it's indefensible, impenetrable bullets.

Well, what do we do now? Oh, let's run some simulations that cost $10 million and see what we can do with this fucking bird that could potentially fly from outside a galaxy that we've never heard of. Well, apparently we got a shot in 2029 of a bird coming. No, there's a potentially hazardous asteroid. Yeah. So we got that thought forward to, but 2029, we're already dead, right? Because the people are saying that, uh, the black hole is going to suck us up in 2027. Not even that the earth is done in what? 10 years. Beto O'Rourke Casey's breakfast. I thought we had 12. Oh no. Beto O'Rourke, Casey's breakfast pizza. I thought we had 12.

Oh, no. Beto O'Rourke, I think, said 10. I think it was originally 12, and then- Hey, don't sell us short there, Beto. He can't be trusted. He's a liar, so- We just got to make it until 2027. Well, I think the game of telephone happened, and it dropped down to 10 years, or like 12

years, and then how long? 12 years. Ah, 10 years. Ah, and eight years. That'll happen. Yeah, that is what happens. It's the game of telephone. So we're not even going to make it to that thing.

That big bird coming in. Avatar's coming out, though. Yeah, 2027, the last one. They all got pushed back another year. That's because they've got to make it better. Never happening. It's been pushed back every single year since, like, what, 2014? Don't be talking like this is Travolta's Gotti movie.

That's the way you guys are talking about this, as if it's not going to happen. It's not going to be great. Something's a little fishy when every single year the movie gets pushed back. Yeah, it's underwater film. That's the way you guys are talking about this, as if it's not going to happen. It's not going to be great. It's a little fishy when every single year the movie gets pushed back. Yeah, it's underwater film. That's why it's fishy. Yeah, CGI. No! Can't argue that, Nick. Can't argue that.

Think about CGI underwater. I mean, with the advancements of technology, James Cameron only wants that movie to get better and better and better. He's taking care of me, the diehard fans of Avatar and Pandora. He's using all the unobtainium that he can obtain to make this movie the best possible movie of all time. Somehow I'll do Avatar 1, which is what he's going to do with the next six ones that are released over the next 45 years. We had a debate the other day in the office and you were in here doing something so i want to bring you into it now keeping the lights on why do you why do you think that avatar the the highest grossing movie of all time right why do

you think it doesn't have like the cultural impact that other movies that made a ton of money like that do uh because of the amount of space in between the movies like if they would have went on a full tour every single month about how the avatars are if they do like a full costume thing in new york city and try to stay relevant like the other promotion marketing all that stuff yeah james merchandise toys everything james cameron just goes ahead and drops it and says greatest movie of all time and he disappears for a few years and he's like another greatest movie of all time we're gonna do that because he doesn't want

to consume people's lives. You know, all those other movies, people get consumed by their entire lives. I do respect that George Lucas. That was his whole model was make the movies

because he was going to make all his money off the toys. Exactly. James Cameron's like, I'm going to make a good enough picture, good enough video,

good enough movie, good enough film that we don't need to suck every dollar out of people for every other thing. But when Avatar 2 comes out, that's going to be a highest grossing movie.

That's going to be Avatar 1 by a billion probably. Probably $4 billion. It's going to be tough to take out Avengers. Do they finally pass them? No. Not yet, but it's on its way. They're like $500 or $600 million short. That's all going to Disney.

Excuse me? Jesus. Avengers is going to be the highest grossing movie of all time. Until Avatar 2? Why don't you guys ask me how Avatar 2 is going to end? How do you think? I don't know. Oh, that's very true.

That's how I know that Avatar 2 will beat Avengers 1, or whatever this one is. Good one. You know what I mean, Evan? Yeah, absolutely. Because what happened with Avengers movie? I was asked Super Bowl week what's going to happen. Yep, in February, the movie didn't come out.

Spoiler alert, by the way, there's a video on the internet of me predicting exactly what happened in Avengers. And people got mad at you for that. Mad at me. They're telling me that I ruined the movie.

Oh, he knows someone at the studio. Yeah, he knows me. He's going to go a writer. I don't know what's going to happen at the end of Avatar, but I know Jacob Sully is probably going to end up in...

He's probably going to somehow get on the bad side of some more Avatars. Is he in this one? Some sea legs? Has to be. What do you mean? He is, but I think it's just the... I think it's like almost all Avatars. I don't know if there are actually any humans acting in it. Yeah, Jacob Sully is in Avatar, though. He completely transformed.

Remember when he did the thing and he was in the Unobtainium thing and they did the tree and they did the... That whole thing. And then he became a thing and then that lady couldn't get it. So he is obviously going to lead his tribe. They're going to have a kid. Him and old old lady are going to have a kid. Then

they're going to probably have to battle against some other Avatar tribe for dominance. I can get on board with the Civil War. I think there's going to be an Avatar Civil War. That would be awesome. Thank you. No, they did that. The Avengers. What was that? They had a Civil War. I think there's going to be an Avatar Civil War. That would be awesome. Thank you. They did that. The Avengers. What was that?

They had a Civil War. They did. Yeah, but the Avengers aren't real people. Thoughts? Thoughts? They were the Avatars. What? We were there.

In Pandora. Yeah, we were. We were in Pandora on a jet ski looking thing. They didn't open the box. Excuse me? Pandora's box. Excuse me? Pandora's box. Let's open Pandora's box. Let's do it. And let's dive inside. Those Avengers, the Civil War?

Cool. But who's flying on the birds? Falcon. The Na'vi. The Na'vi. There it is. I have no idea what's going to happen, but I don't like that it's been delayed. It's already been delayed. James, let's drop that fucking movie just so we can bust it. It'll get done.

Huh? It'll get done when the time's right. He was acting fishy when I saw him in the airport. He was. Did you put a little heat on him or did you just walk by him? Well, it took me about 15 or 20 minutes to realize whether or not it was actually James Cameron. I was standing behind him. Why is he in a commercial fucking public airport?

He was flying to China. Oh, that's probably the only one that you can't really pay for yourself. Yeah, I could. James Cameron could do that for sure. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure he had nice accommodations going over there, but what he did do was spend about $1,500 at the little Hudson News place. Oh, yeah.

All on Time magazines. He grabbed every fucking Time magazine in that place. Same Time magazine? Just bought 10 of them? No, separate copies. One was like space travel. I mean, he was definitely putting in some research. Spoiler alert.

Yeah, that's what I said. I mean, I said that a while back. Yeah, because remember, they travel all that way to get to Pandora. So you can only imagine at some point the avatars are going to come back. Avatars in America, probably in Earth. Probably not the next one, but no, probably the next one. Maybe the

next one. Space travel. You said he was reading about it? He was reading about space travel and deep sea stuff. All right. We just put it together. Hockey stick time. Hockey stick just fell in the office. That's what happens when you break news, though. Things start breaking around here. So the avatars are traveling back to Earth

because they got unfinished business with those fucking military guys that are walking in the things. And then that's how they end up in the ocean? Probably. Because every time you come back from space, you do that little umbrella thing. Oh, yeah.

That's what they're doing. Somebody's got to figure out what's down there. Enough. Enough. We're not getting into that. The show's over. You all have an incredible Thursday night. Heartland Radio 2.0 with Friday Bangers is back tomorrow Ain't that right Nick?

Oh that's right baby Any good bangers on the show tomorrow? I got at least one or two cooking Hot ones Can we hear a little preview? Oh yeah I got one Well I'm gonna take my horse

Ringtone ringtone Diplo Well, I'm going to take my horse. Ringtone, ringtone. Rah! Diplo. We talked about it last show. We don't repeat topics here. We don't recycle stuff. Nope.

You connected? I'm connected. What do you want, one, two? I just want a little teaser for what's on Heartland Radio 2.0 Friday Bangers tomorrow. Okay. Son, you know why you're the greatest alive? Why, Dad? Because you came out of my balls, nigga.

Excuse me? Fuck rap. Bustin' like an addict with a semi-automatic. Who done had it? And he ready for anybody to buck back. Hold up, catch a vibe. Ain't no way you're here. We leavin' nobody alive.

Be my suicide. No, fuck that. Bobby feelin' villainous. He killin' us. I'm comin' for your man and his lady. And even a baby. I'm feelin' like I'm tickin', tickin', tickin'. Slim Shady with rabies. I'm pullin' at their mouth. Ain't nobody takin' me out. Every single rapper in the industry Who's this? It's your boy Logic. We follow each other on Twitter.

Logic and Eminem, and they threw Chris D'Elia on the end of the song with his Eminem impersonation. How's Eminem doing in this song? Not bad. Better than the last little bit of stuff he's put out, I think. I'm excited to hear.

Eminem. Quite a run whenever we were young. That song. Is he coming? We'll jump to it here. We caught a shit, ya- These small motherfuckers bout to get hit with so many foul lines You think I'm a free throw, figured it was about time for people to eat crow You bout to get out rhymed, how could I be dethroned? I stay on my toes like the repo of behemoths in sheep clothes From the east coast to the west, I'm the ethos and I'm the goat

Who the best? I don't gotta say a fucking thing though, cause I'm seasonal But you don't wanna hear me spit the facts, your shit is ass like a tailbone Or you're trapped in your cellphone, I'm a chicken scratch on my cell phone I don't wanna fucking listen to you spit your rap, someone else wrote Used to get beat up by the big kids, used to let the big kids steal my big wheel And I wouldn't do shit but just sit still Now money's not a big deal I'm rich, I wipe my ass with six mil

Big bills like a platypus of caterpillars Coming to get the cannabis I'm looking for the smoke with you motherfuckers Scattering batter and everything And I've had it with the inadequate man I can see my dick is standing stiff as a mannequin And I'm bringing the banana back And the fucking headband again

The handkerchief and I'm thinking Of bringing the fucking fingerless gloves back And not giving a singular fuck like fuck rap I sound like a fucking millionaire With a dare and you with a hair trick About to bear hug and fucking tear We got a Ric Flair dripping sound like a fucking millionaire with a dare and you with a hair trick about the bear hug your fucking terrier the rich flair dripping y'all couldn't hold the candle let a prayer vigil when i vent they compare me to a fucking air duck i'm about the bare knuckle it now fuck it i'm gonna go upside the head with an

antacid apple fucking dab or the track cause the blood on my track that i'm attacking it what dracula fuck that shit i'm up back with a thud man stop look what i'm planning planning i'm planning to do all this while you're panicking and And you're looking and staring at mannequins. And I'm going to fan against trying to get up a plan against all of the plan against Santa can fan, fan, pan against all the mannequins, Santa can any in the cabana. You're in a cabana. I'm in a cabana in a Janet.

I'm in a cabana chanting on a standard banner. Well, you don't got the stamina. You're lacking the stamina. You're lacking the stamina while you're divorcing Harrison Ford and I'm in a portion of flooring porn. While I'm on touring. You're using way too many napkins. Papkins. Lapkins and chapkins.

You're using chapstick and napkins while I'm papkin. Flamping around like a papkin. Flamming a babbity panic chapkin. Damn it. So Eminem's back. And good for Logic, by the

way. That guy can go very, very fast. Happy he has a new album. Friend of the show, not yet,

possibly. We're on the verge. We follow each other on Twitter. It's a start. Danny Mandola still doesn't

follow me on Instagram. Come on, Danny. No. We're not begging for anything around here. Figure it out. Hey, we're not begging for anything around here. Except for a Brink's truck to show up.

So if Danny Amendola's going to show up with a Brink's truck, it's cool with me. I forced Natural Light to follow me today on Twitter. They wanted me to retweet something. I said, you don't even follow me. So the answer's no. Then they followed me and then I retweeted it. Right on cue because Natterdays are delicious.

You get it. Cousy! Cousy! I'm in their video. How many texts was that, boys? That video right there? I think it was 45. I had to record that cuzzy video 45 different times.

We need more emphasis on the Z. Cuzzy? Good video, though. They're looking for an intern. That could probably be a great job, if I imagine. Oh, yeah. The people that we've met from Natural Light have been nothing but fantastic. And they're looking for an intern. That could probably be a great job, if I imagine. Oh, yeah. The people that we've met from Natural Light have been nothing but fantastic. Yep.

And they're looking for an intern. We applied Zito to it so we can get rid of him, and we'll see if he gets to get... I'm going in undercover. And what are you going to do in there? Get more money for us. Yeah! Let's go. Hashtag endgame, hashtag endgame.

Send us your avatar predictions, please. Avatar predictions. Photos your avatar predictions, please. Avatar predictions. Photos included. Everything like that. Also, maybe just draw up potential catastrophic events like what NASA's doing. That'd be good. Let's just draw up potential events. If it seems reasonable enough, maybe we'll read them on the next show.

Hashtag Endgame. Hashtag Endgame. Get some free merch. Get your shit read on the show. That's about it for myself. Frankie Boy. Zito.ito ty schmidt and foxy we can't thank you enough all the boys here at the office we're having a good time creating a lot of things bro bro bro bets every single day telling you what to bet and lock that in heartland radio 2.0 and everything else we got cooking we're so thankful for all of you uh boston connor has returned back to boston uh to go hang out with his family for like a month or

so uh he had been away for a long time and he wanted to go back for a weekend we said absolutely so he's gonna be doing some remote stuff for us he should be back in like a month we miss him just as much as you people miss him uh we can't wait to see him back in the office it's it's nothing bad i know that it's not like we fired him or anything like that he's just back in Boston to tie up some loose ends up there excited for him to get back in time and we thank him and we thank all of you

Ty Schmidt hit the music all my bags are packed I'm ready to go I'm standing here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn The taxi's waiting, he's blown his horn Already I'm so lonesome I could die So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go. Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go. There's so many times I've let you down So many times I've played around I tell you now they don't mean a thing Every place I go I'll think of you Every song I sing I'll think of you. Every song I sing, I'll sing for you. When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring.

So kiss me and smile to me. Tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go I hate to go Now the time has come to leave you One more time, let me kiss you Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way Dream about the days to come When I won't have to leave alone

About the times I won't have to say Kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane Don't know when I'll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go. I'm leaving on a jet plane.

Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, babe, oh, oh, oh, oh