The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 073 - A Really Cool Journey With Frank Caliendo

Episode Date: May 16, 2019

On today's show, Pat is joined in studio by probably the world's greatest impressionist, actor and comedian, the man of 1,000 voices, Frank Caliendo. They have an incredible chat that ranges from Frank's career doing impressions, the life that he has lived to this point and what some of the seminal moments were to get him to this point in his career, some of the fears and anxiety's that he has trying to further his career in the digital age through Instagram and Twitter, what aspirations he still has for comedy, and some of the things he has learned from Pat trying to reinvent himself through podcasts and other forms of media. This is maybe one of the deepest and realest conversations we've ever had, and not one that should be missed (3:45-1:28:15). Pat also covers the Knicks being screwed out of the NBA draft lottery, gives a couple thoughts on the NBA playoffs now that we're down to the conference finals, and chats about Jamie Collins potentially going back to New England, as Pat remembers him jumping over Matt Overton to block an Adam Vinatieri extra point, which sends him down memory lane as to why he can't stand Walt Anderson. Today's show is a great one. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Today is incredible. We dive deep with a very impressive impressionist. Say that 10 times. That's what I'm talking about. Today is a day where you're going to learn a lot about a lot of your favorite things. You're going to laugh. You're going to be inspired.

And you're going to learn. Ain't that right, Zeke? Oh, yeah. Zeke, did you learn anything today? I learned a lot, actually. Not how to speak, though. I did not. Or read.

We'll find that out later. Another Zito ad reads coming right up. Can we cancel another company's ads at the end of this show? We're excited for you. We're so thankful for you. And also thankful for our presenting sponsor, SeatGeek. SeatGeek is the greatest ticket buying platform on planet Earth and... The moon.

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walked in the door, I said, hey, I want to let you know I hate you a little bit. Okay. Last time he came in this office, he talked down to me for 25 minutes, made me feel like a little punk, but I'm excited for our relationship to get back on the right path. He's going to refer to that a couple times because he thinks I came at him a little strong as soon as he walked in the building. He's probably right, but this is about to be a magical journey that we're about to take with Frank Caliendo. Ladies and gentlemen.

Joining us now is one of the most talented individuals on all of planet Earth. You've heard his voices, his impressions on Fox Sports ESPN. And now you can hear him on a stage coming to a town near you. Tonight he's in Chicago. Tomorrow night, two shows in Niagara Falls at the casino. Then the list goes on and on. Check it all out at FrankCaliando.com. One of the most talented humans on Earth.

Ladies and gentlemen, the short in stature, large brained, great mouth having, having frank caliendo i'm excited you're here you're one of the best impressionists of all time i've given that is have you really no no no no no i still see you kicking on instagram and stuff like that you're thinking about it leave the options on the table yeah why not you know i i am i still i absolutely 100 do that because it's what i'm known for it's the only way I seem to be able to make money. But there's a reality to it that is I'm trying to do some other stuff, and that's probably why I was a jerk when I walked in. But it's just to have an element to me and be something different.

But, yeah, I found that for me that I'm so known in that world, the entertainment world, as the guy who does the voices, no matter what I do. And I would like to see if that's anything like that for you. I don't know if it would be. But anywhere I go, they want me to be the guy who does the voices. Yeah, get annoying, I bet. But well, I mean, it's that and it's, I want to try and do something else. I want something to be part of that. I don't mind doing it. But it's like, if you're going to audition for a movie, you don't want to go in the audition and they spend five minutes hey can you do some john mad he's not even in the game anymore guys so when you uh but nobody i'm this it sounds like

a bit but nobody's gonna ask you to kick when you go in somewhere somebody's like they don't that's not really a wanted thing either like hey will you come kick some shit for us that's not really something you can do but i could see how that could become something where you get annoyed about because i feel like you probably feel like you have a much broader portfolio of talents than just i question it at times honestly i do because i think there's certain things that i'm better at and things i've honed and it's really hard when i go up on stage and like a tour i did last summer was all about basically for the first 20 30 minutes minutes not doing the impressions. And you could just, it was like, you've done comedy. You know what it's like.

Have you ever opened for a band? No. So when you open for a band, they're there to see the band. So mentally, they're in, and it's not even like opening up for another comedian. It's like, hey, we want to sing along. We're looking for songs we know. And that they're in the wrong mentality.

That focus is going, hey, let's sing. Let's hear songs we know. You go're in the wrong mentality that but that focus is going hey let's sing let's let's hear songs we know you go up and do comedy before and it's like what you're in a to try and get them into that first because they don't even know you're going to be there so for me it's almost like opening for myself and i'm the band what do you do do you do like an impression of a musician there and just sing a couple sing-alongs with them like tom petty uh well i don't i don't i don't actually do the singing. But it's more that I go in there and do, and maybe I'm not following your line of thought,

but you can bring me back on. Yeah, you got it. But I will go on, and I'll do just some stand-up and talk a little bit. But you can feel him going, when's the voice is going to start? Well, that's like Todd. So Todd is a retired police officer, and he has some really good cop stories

but he's been telling them for like 10 years right and i think he's gotten sick of telling them but every time he goes on stage all you hear people talk about is like hey tell us a story about the guy that was fucking the chicken you know like he kind of gets sick of it but it's a crowd pleaser how do you balance that kind of you just have to go out there and do it i've done it both ways what i'm doing now is doing some of the impression stuff first that people, here's the other difficult, this is what kills me, is I'll do new things with a voice that they know, and then people will be like, that's not new. I'm like, no, I just did, Seinfeld doesn't change his voice.

He's not, like I have to change my voice to change the jokes. I can't do some Trump stuff and have new Trump stuff. They're like, it's just more Trump. Well, again, if it was just me telling jokes, it would be just me telling the jokes. I don't have to switch anything up. Any new voices? I mean, there's little ones. I've been working on a bunch of Avengers stuff because I've been doing the

comic book podcast and stuff like that. They're all the beginnings. The Robert Downey Jr., of course. Do me a favor. Enjoy yourself. He's like, great job over there. But he does that, like the bit I talk about, it's hard to do more with it,

but it's you guys got it because you're in the know, but you go into an audience and they don't even know who Robert Downey Jr. is to start with. You say Robert Downey Jr., they're like, Iron Man, Tony Stark, got it. They're like, that's a fictional character. You don't even know who the real person is.

Then I was working on like a Chris Hemsworth because I visually look so much like him. Yeah, yeah. Very similar. But just coming from, and there's another thing, kind of a bit, I'll workshop it with you.

The bit where I've been coming from, we know him as Thor. That's where everybody's saying that. Loki, my brother. That right there. But he's Hulk Hogan. He's going to be Hulk Hogan in that movie. Oh, yes. So that audition must have been crazy.

Like, all right, Chris Hemsworth, take one. Let me tell you something, brother. No, maybe go a little more rough around the edge. No, I've got this. Let me tell you something. That's not quite it. Let me tell you something, brother. No, there is. That was it. Okay, let me tell you something, brother.

You're going to train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins. You had it. Go back to that. That. That was it. That was it. Okay, let me tell you something, brother. You're going to train. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins. You had it. Go back to that. That would have been it. For some reason, I was just working on a Chris. Anytime you say Chris, it's going to be some Avenger, right?

But Captain America. Evans. Chris Evans. And it comes from, I find the line that I say over and over and over. And the line I've been saying over and over is that that is america's ass like like he's just got that he's got that tough guy cool i've never seen any no that's cool this is right over my head but they're right on and the guys yeah yeah the guy that knows knows so yeah it's good yeah they're getting they're getting there so it's uh yeah it's right i do know and maybe i said this last time i see tyson i think zero zero seven three seven three five nine six three so that's always and now you got a guy who does the It's, I do know, and maybe I said this last time, I see Tyson, I think 0073735963.

So that's all he said. Now you got a guy, who does the Gruden over there, man? Who does, yeah, man, I tell you what, I hear you doing some stuff. That's some good stuff right there. Hey, we got a Lou Holtz in the building now. Oh, really? Oh, do we? Oh, somebody told me that your Lou Holtz guy is way better than me.

We have a good Lou Holtz guy. I don't know if he's better than anybody. I just know that we. I don't care when somebody's better than me. When he starts speaking, we have Lou Holtz in the room. Where at, Lewis? Hey, that's a good football team. Listen, I had one thing at the University of Notre Dame.

Okay, here's what I've done. At the end of the day, we're good football teams. There it is. That's more realistic than mine. Mine is because it's just gone way over the top. I do Game of Thrones. Do you know that one? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm a big-time throner. I'm in the throning Twitter community. I'm a thrones influencer. I do Lou Holtz watching Game of Thrones doing the theme. Who's going to end up on the Iron Throne? Lou Holtz watching Game of Thrones doing the theme. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Who's going to end up on the Iron Throne? We're going to find out in about a week. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I hate to be a spoiler, but you probably didn't understand

when I just said it. Let me tell you this. A laylister always pays his dues. The Night King wouldn't have scared me. We would have just said something together and gone at him. That's how you play the game the way it's supposed to be played.

This is crazy. So you've got to get into the psychology of these characters. Like, Lou Holtz is very much a man that's just like in reference to a ping pong player, which you are an incredible one. His brain just bounces back and forth and then he gets back on topic. Whenever you're doing these impressions, you've got to

really dive into the psychology. I think there's something with that where I can just... I call it a take and when you get the take on the person you can start start to think almost the way they think it's it's an interesting i think it's gruden you do it with you do a great you do you you've been able to adapt into john gruden it feels like you and i went to talk to the team last year man hey man that's a good team they suck no we're good team man so i go they i get a text think you want to come talk to the team they're at arizona last year and i go in and i

said does john does john swear or anything like that before and you guys swear all the time on this right yeah yeah yeah so i go they're like no he doesn't really swear a lot then i go in and he's like we're gonna fucking take these guys down it It's just F and F. It's just all over. I'm like, okay, I can say whatever I want. There's going to be no issues here. So then I'm in there for a little bit and I go – or I'm waiting. They have me waiting on the side. Gruden's doing a little bit of a pep talk.

And you can feel the guy – you've probably been in that situation in your life. You're working. Your team's struggling to get through the season. I come in. They what the hell is this guy i'm like i'll tell you what man we're gonna get out there and we're gonna win this fucking game and you can see the team like holy shit are we really is did this guy come in like derrick car man take a look at you got your trapper keeper right there you're taking notes man that's what quarterbacks do. You guys get ready. You're taking notes. You know who really takes a lot of notes?

Peyton Manning took a lot of notes. I'll tell you what. You know where he took them? Up here, man. I don't know. What do you got in the front of that trapper keeper? My little pony? I'll tell you what, man.

Did the room laugh? Oh, yeah. They're going crazy. Gruden's on the side and he's like all right do somebody else now man like no man you brought me in and i'm scared to death these guys are huge that fucking ring that you had the john gruden super bowl ring did you do you wear that every time you go into that game most of the time like whenever i do it in the like uh you know in the makeup and in the wig thing so that's that sells it and that's the big thing. That's a big jokey

prop. He started messing around with that in commercials too. He was knocking on the... The hooters. Yeah. Is that what it was? Yeah, I think it was the hooters knocking on the table when he was at the bar. Yeah. Like Frank, what's the dude's name who's the house of cards? Terrible guy.

Let's make sure it is understood there i think he's let's make sure you're not on his side that's i said that about uh what's what's his name i can't kevin spacey is like yeah i you used to be able i could say names now you can't even say the names like 10 years ago i'll talk about this my activities like 10 years ago you'd say i'd say the name bill cosby and everybody in the room's like i hope he's gonna do bill cosby you say the name bill Cosby and everybody in the room is like, I hope he's going to do a Bill Cosby. You say the name Bill Cosby,

you're like, oh, I hope he doesn't do a Bill Cosby. Like, Kevin Spacey, don't worry, I'm not going to touch it,

which is probably what he should say. Fine. We're going to have to edit that out. Would you really, you wouldn't edit that out? No,

I didn't think you really would, but it's funny that you would even, like the things to think about what you might edit out. It's a nightmare. Ty has to stay up all night just like kind of raking through conversations, like, okay, what's going to make somebody look bad? What's not going to make somebody look bad?

I mean, I don't think there's anything anymore. I don't know. I don't know. I see things come out in the news about people, and you're like, oh, that's not really what was meant there. And you're watching going. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the out of context world.

Listen, I call, okay, so this happened to me last week, two weeks ago. In the draft, before the draft, I'm calling Steve Keim. And I'm calling him, I'm friends with Steve Keim. I coached his kids, GM of the Cardinals. And I'm calling him up, and I'm leaving him messages as John Grimm. I'm like, I'll tell you what, man,

I've been listening to some local sports radio. Right there, you know that it's a joke, right? I've been listening to some local sports radio. Right there, you know that it's a joke, right? I've been listening to some local sports radio, and I got some ideas for some trades. So how about at number one, you take Joey Bosa. Now we're talking. Then at number four, I take Kyler Murray. I'll tell you why, because I want Joey Bosa.

You want Kyler Murray. They're not going to be in their respective spots. I give you a 27 to go with that number one. My former number four with your number one is Switch. Josh Rosen, he's a good kid, man. He'll find someplace to be. But I'll tell you what, we'll care about that later. It's a good trade for you.

It's a good trade for me. I love this deal, man. So it's obvious that it's a joke, and it's called from my own phone, right? Yahoo runs with it. Yes. They're saying that I almost changed the draft. It wasn't even close to that.

I also called him as Jay Glazer, and I was like, you're not going to fucking, what the fuck is going on here? There's no fucking way. Wait a second. You're fucking telling me that you're going to make a trade with John Gruden

and Steve. That's the fucking stupid thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Why would somebody trade number one for number four? You know you're going to

make a big difference. Hey, by the way, I'm on my way to work out. You want to go work out with me? What I like to do is work out on my way to work out.

You want to work out on my way to work out? It's unbelievable. And let me tell you this. It's important that you guys are listening to this. Demi Lovato's Knocked On By Tooth went viral. Anybody hear about that? So then I call him up, ask Schefter, and said, hey, Steve, it's me, Adam Schefter.

I was just wondering if there's a possibility that you could give me a call as well. You've been talking to Rappaport. You've been talking to Glazer. I just want you to know, my phone is still here. You have the number because I called you. You have caller ID. And everything's going to be fine. If you don't get back to me, I'm not sure where our relationship is.

But I believe we're truly friends. Thanks a lot. Once again, this is Adam Schefter. A good friend of yours. You have the number and just give me any information you might have. Appreciate it.

By the way, we're doing the draft. Steve, I'm also got a call from Dorsey while he's on the clock. So this dude is just getting assaulted. Well, I called him way before.

Oh, I wish this was all draft. Steve got just sitting there with his big ass head just sweating everywhere. Because Steve, I didn't talk to Steve. It was way before. I didn't hear from him. Once it got important, there's no way I'm talking to him but then. But it was pretty surreal that people were taking this stuff out of context

and using his quotes and my quotes. Because I did Dan Patrick's show that day and he called into Dan Patrick. And I thought there's no way that he would ever do that that day because we'd set it up weeks ago and he's getting killed about the draft and stuff like that so people are going after him and i'm like there's no way steve's calling in the next day and they're the producer's like yeah he's calling in i'm like you're kidding me he's that good of a friend that he would really do that all right cool so then we talked a little bit we talked about how i was joking with him and stuff like that and then people took quotes out of context and merged them together and made it look in arizona like in

phoenix people are like oh caliendo you almost changed the draft they'd be like hey grow up man who are you is this cranky anchors that went off years ago dude like no that's not even what it was nobody thought this was real it was a complete fake until fake news what on the earth was going on i'd never been in something like that like that was that much off of what it was 2019 is an incredible time to be alive man it's incredible time to be alive do you like it or do you get i mean because there's great stuff about it, but it's also scary. I literally live in my own bubble here.

I literally live in my own bubble here. If it's not inside my world, I don't really know much. Here's part of the deal, though. And this is something that you've done, and I think a person like Charles Barkley has done. And there are certain people who come up, and Charles Barkley,

I may have talked about this before. Hilarious, by the way right very funny because he's honest and truthful he comes from truth and that's what i think is really great but he years ago when he was in the nba said i am not a role model then he went out and constantly proved it and that's right and you set up your character and once you have that character that's kind of what the super trump people love about trump is like i am what i am and you're going to deal with it because i'm fantastic and like wait i don't is that really what he cuts a promo like a wrestling promo every single day that's all that's all it is right i don't care what people on the political spectrum whatever but it's just it's you've set up who this

guy it's a character and i've done sketches with him and that's the part that what scares me personally it's like i've seen behind the scenes like he's like oh don't pay any attention to that like really this is way before he was president like 10 years ago i did a sketch with him like wait a second you're just he's like okay watch when we go on it's like all of a sudden he starts changing into this guy like beforehand he's like is this okay does this seem all right like he's doing all that kind of stuff and then he gets on he's like we are going to make sure like that's not even the same person. And I said, I heard you talking about, this was actually, this was the conversation. This is, again, 10 years ago, nothing to do with recently.

But I said, I heard you talk about China. He's like, don't pay attention to that. I think he's still living in that world. I just spit, Lou Holtz, did you see that? You're garbage. Yeah, that is a really great Lou Holtz, did you see that? You're garbage. Yeah, that is a really great Lou Holtz. One of the things I found with the impressions, too, is that I don't always try to nail.

Listen, there are people that are better than them at me, better than them than I am, than quite a few of them. Yeah, I know. It's going to work through the mask. I saw you. You did that like you were trying to walk off a kick right there. How much space do I have? Okay, there's my steps.

How fast is this guy coming at me? So, I don't even remember what it was. I got another football reference, tied it into you and lost my own. No, you were saying that there's people that are better at them than you. Yeah, and I make them more cartoony. So if you make them cartoony, it's your own thing, and it's not the dead-on impersonation anymore it's the impression which you can do a lot more with you create the goofy character like will

sasso did on mad tv with the uh kenny rogers with the kenny rogers uh steve austin too yeah so i mean it's just stuff that i think you're selling yourself short by the way though i think no i'm it's no that was not a short joke, because you are incredibly short. But I was saying, like, I think you are selling yourself short right now. I think you're a legit impressionist. I'm decent. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. No, you're not decent.

You've spent a lot of hours. I'm one of the best. If not, I'm the best, the number one, incredible. Where's my camera? Let me look directly into it and peer through. incredible where's my camera let me look directly into it and peer through actually if i look at you directly your your your digital technology is going to turn to stone i had to think about what it was gonna say film and i'm like there's nobody do you think some people have enhanced their characters on tv because of impressionists like you for For instance, Stephen A. Smith has dialed Stephen A. Smith up to 200.

Last night I saw a selfie video of him on Instagram after the Knicks didn't get the pick, and it was just him being an impression of himself almost. And it was hilarious in my head, but I'm like, I feel like impressionists. Do you think he's trying to make himself seem like he is that guy? Because I'm with you some of these guys are so cartoony now that's what i'm saying i think it's because of your guys

like maybe i just i or it's that what do you get seven ten million dollars ten million a year it's like i have to say that this is the new 10 million dollar me i remember him years ago in an elevator saying, Frank, whatever you do, all the impressions and impersonations and whatnot, do me a favor. Don't ever, ever do me. I was like, it can really pay off. I don't care. And

I remember, that was while he was down. He wasn't even at ESPN at the time. I remember he had Frankly Speaking or whatever. He had that show. He wasn't even at ESPN at the time. Remember, he had Frankly Speaking or whatever. He had that show. He had a show at ESPN called Quite Frankly or Frankly Speaking or something like that. And then he was off at ESPN for a while. He was gone from the network. And he actually was doing some things over at Fox Sports for a little bit.

And then he came back at ESPN. They paired him on first take with skip bayless and then it took off it you know cold pizza all those years was there nobody cared and then all of a sudden they embraced debate it was incredible and it works i mean uh they've run with that that embrace debate thing really hard yeah and i i don't know i don't know. Every show. Every show. Half the time, I watch a lot of these shows. It's the exact opposite of what I was talking about with Charles Barkley.

In the debate shows, I just can't believe certain people have some of these takes where they're like, the Dallas Cowboys are going to win 25 games this year. You can win the Super Bowl and you haven't played that many. Explain to me, is that counting preseason and scrimmages?

What is that? Like how can that – that doesn't even work out mathematically. It moves the needle though, they say. I guess. I just don't know. Are you still with ESPN? No. I mean, Dave asked me to do some certain things.

But last year, they asked me to do a couple things. And I was always like an independent contractor type. Like, I had a contract to do a certain amount of stuff. And most of the time, they actually wanted me to do more. And I'm like, I don't have enough to do more in this world. I don't want to do six Adam Schefter sketches just to fill it. Because once you've done a couple, it just feels like it's there. Well, especially as a creative human,

you kind of get bored, I would assume. Yeah, I mean, it kind of goes along with everything I've been talking about. I don't mind going back and do it. If something is interesting and timely, I'll go and throw it. If they want me to do a Bill Belichick or something, I'll go and mumble for a couple seconds. And that's really all it is.

It's the makeup and the look like I don't want to be there. That's what the fun part of it is. What are you going to do look like i don't want to be there that's what the fun part of it is what are you gonna do why don't you write a tv show or something i feel like your brain you have so many ideas and characters like i feel like writing a sitcom or something like that yeah yeah i i had a deal a couple years ago to do a sitcom it was going to get made and then some there was a bunch of like all of a sudden they wanted to change everything at the last second i'm like and they wanted it they were like a month away from actually shooting. It was getting,

and I'm like, you're changing. I can't, I can't change everything. they hired you to write something and then they'll meet with somebody else. And the guy, the guy was a great writer. But then all of a sudden they're like,

well, we don't have the budget for this, this and this and this. And I'm like, we had six months to do that. I don't want to do it two weeks before. And then, because it was my,

like it was my life. I was like, I don't want to put my life out there and have it just suck so bad. How did you get here? How did I get? How did you become an, were you a regular, I don't want to say regular comedian, but were you a. A real comedian. Like a topical comedian. No, I started doing the impressions from the very beginning.

I went to school for broadcast journalism. And I was like, I think this impression thing could pay off. And nobody was really doing them at the time. And now you go on YouTube and there's 50 people, 1,000 people doing just... But what they don't do is they'll do these great voices and then they don't have any context for them or where does it go? What's the material for it um so i i just started getting up on stage and there was nobody i i how old uh just graduated from college so 22 20 22 where did you go to college university wisconsin milwaukee let's go good times out there in wisconsin yeah you know but i you know i don't know if you know but i don't i don't even drink or anything so ever never i've never been drunk in your entire life are you a mormon uh yes no no i uh it's not people that's one of the things

always people say is it religious i'm like no i just have this real crazy thing about power over myself i guess it's like i like to be in control as if i and i do think there are times where there is a piece of me that wishes I could have let loose but I am such an addictive personality that I'm like I could never come back from that I'd be gone you gamble like tomorrow no because if I did I would be in trouble and I really like money do you think if you were drinking one night and just got like blackout drunk like the voices and the personalities would just take over no I don't think it's that great question I don't think it's so much that I mean which would be. I don't think it's so much that. I mean, which would be probably an incredible bit.

We could do Frank on LSD instead of LDS, which is what... So I got a million letter switch jokes. It's more that I would just keep drinking. i don't think i'd stop i just know i have a lot of alcoholics in my family and stuff like that so i'm i was one of those kids who was responsible at like nine yeah so i've i've been like do you have any brothers sisters two older two younger so i'm the oldest my my Rico yeah Rico Caliendo oh Jesus he does the books

that wasn't a joke and so it's Frankie Rico and Terry which doesn't really fit with the other ones but yeah so it's the three of us three boys and yeah none of us look we're all And none of us look, we're all blonde.

None of us really look that Italian. So it throws people off. So what's next for you? You do stand-up. You've got a lot of shows. FrankCaliando.com, I just saw a lot of shows on deck tonight in Chicago. This is during the morning. Tonight in Chicago, Niagara Falls.

And I think you're working Monday, too. You're doing a lot of shows right now. Well, I'm doing a lot of, there are a lot of workshop of workshopping type shows so they're half doing the stand-up half we're just working things out uh i've gone away from doing theaters right now uh because that you have to do that prepare i feel like it's got to be a more prepared show at least for the audience that's coming to see me got it uh and i i like the club shows way better i can go in you charge a little bit less for a ticket i goof around uh i'll meet people after shows and stuff like the club shows way better. I can go in, you charge a little bit less for a ticket. I goof around. I'll meet people after shows

and stuff like that a lot of the time. And just, it's me learning and trying to do, I mean, you give me the opportunity. Like you come in, you go, it's not even shtick.

It's like we just go back and forth. It's like people being people. I can't, a lot of places I go to and I can't, they're like, okay, now we're going to do

some promotion for your show and what do you need me to set up the John Groot? Just talk to me. Yeah, yeah. Just talk to me. Let me be a human being. I'll make it happen.

I've done this before. I'm not like the local carny act who needs to be set up for this. Speaking of carny, there was a guy that did three murders

in 18 days. I want to let you know what you just said though is why I started doing stand-up comedy because I was in there with Bob and Tom. And a bunch of comedians that were making a lot of money were coming in. And they had their punchlines written out.

And they were giving lines to Tom Griswold to feed them. Right. And then during the break, I would talk to them. And I was like, these motherfuckers aren't funny at all. And Bob Cavoy was like, well, why don't you go do stand-up then? I was like, I will. I remember talking to you on the radio that one time. Yeah, I did a show a month later. And I was like, like oh it's a lot easier than i thought it was gonna be well

you have you listen again you you kind of hit it when you were mocking me a little bit at the beginning which was deserved it but not really but i want to get on your good side 1000 percent that's for everybody that you've walked into a room and been a dick too by the way but it was faux dick felt like a real day that was from Frank that wasn't from Stephen A. Smith or Gruden or Madden or anybody like that

no but now I'm scared why am I like you're the scariest punter ever I know you that's part of

well maybe what's his name no yeah you're right just you just you yes you sir Dawn I was going to say you don't even drink No, yeah, you're right. Just you. Just you. Yes, you, sir.

Go on. I was going to say, you don't even drink like a monster. You drink an extraterrestrial. Oh, no. Hey, this is a... You have no idea about this thing. I've been trying to get sponsored by these people. Oh, that's why I was worried. I was worried I shouldn't even have said monster.

Well, you can say monster. This is Bang. And I'm on a keto diet and this has no carbs and the human uh no free ads by the way the human that is ceo of this company i followed him on the instagram sent him a message i was like yo i get banged up every day there's no carbs in there i love the way it tastes let's go you jack me up for like 25 30 minutes i love everything you're doing hasn't messaged me back nick told me if I had some tits, he would. So now we're going to go with the Snapchat filter, make me a woman,

send him a photo, get some free bang. See what we're going to do? We're going to work it. You're an influencer. I take a lot. I look at all your stuff and it's a lot of work. You do. Last time I was in here, and this is what I didn't bring up before. I said there's stuff I want to bring up

on the podcast. Remember last time I came in, you probably don't remember. I do remember. You said you were going to start working on social media. I was trying to work on, Twitter's always been decent, but I started working on Instagram and I remember coming in here, can somebody show me what button to press to take a picture? Yeah, you had a stage. I do remember, but I saw you start to work on social media and then you quit. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, you kind of disappeared a little bit. You were getting into it, and then you disappeared. On Twitter, I did. Oh, okay. So when I was in here, yeah. And I thought, where's this going? But obviously, you just have to be a part of it. I would go into rooms with network executives, and they're like, your Instagram following

is only 15,000 at the time, or 18,000. I'm like, yeah, I'm not good at it. Well, you better get good at it because that's what we can't do. Well, they use it against me, though. So I'm called the internet guy by a lot of these executives. So it's like I think they just don't know what they want. Okay, so you're dealing with the same thing. I'm dealing with the impressions.

I'll tell you this. And there's somebody I'm actually going to talk to about you because I met this guy. I did a podcast. It hasn't come out yet. Do you care if I talk about that? No. His name's Ed Milet. Oh, I know Ed Milet. Big monster guy. Yeah, he shoots on the beach

every day and he's like jacked up. Yeah. And he's the real deal. I love that guy. He is fantastic and he's one of those guys I didn't know going into it what to expect because his first guest on his podcast was Tony Robbins. That was his first. And Tony podcast was tony robbins that was his first and tony robbins has said something like he's the best speaker i've ever seen that's coming from

tony robbins and some there's some story i'm probably getting partially wrong but you know you you go in and you meet some of these people and you're like this is going to be snake oil salesman and stuff like he was the real deal i'm in i'm in his house in uh that's where he shoots in his house on the beach in california In his house, on the beach, in California. And it's everything you see on that Instagram, you're like, holy, this is, I don't know, I bleep myself out. It's just. Very nice of you. Thank you.

So our FCC standards. Yeah, right. Listen, it's a reflex. No, you're a mainstream. Seasoned professional. No, I'm trying to. No, you're a mainstream. Seasoned professional. No, I'm trying to become more like you fuckers. Yeah. There we go.

There we go. Can you cut that out? I mean it. No, but I went there, and he did something on Instagram. He's got a million followers. He got that in three. And I felt so bad. I'm going to do it to you, too.

But I felt so bad. I'm like, hey, can you do some Instagram thing with me? And he did. And I gained literally 3,500 followers from his story in an hour. I was like, just from doing some Morgan Freeman thing that I've done a million times, but it was in- New audience. And it was new audience

and with his content. Yeah. And I'd followed him and watched some of his max out stuff. And I'm like, holy, this is unbelievable. Well, you got to remember, the internet is much more personable, right?

So it's like you have a friendship with the followers. So that's why you have to be active. So whenever you dip your toe in and then get out, your followers don't really want i think yeah and that's part of what my problem was is i wasn't doing it for real and although i have a problem with i don't know how you do this but i i start to get into it and i said i'm just this is my whole life all i do is care about taking pictures it's tough and it's very difficult it takes time consuming

a ship but it's worth it whenever you get a following that feels yeah they're with you so and i think have you talked to al you know al jackson right oh yeah yeah i heard you guys are starting a podcast yeah we've been doing it for a little bit uh at al and frank uh on twitter and instagram but alanfrank.com can get you there good but we call it alan frank try to be serious yeah i was trying to work it in semi-naturally you did great uh no you know what it was uh it was there was nothing hiding any of that there was oh we have a new podcast that was a drug test i didn't prep for uh so it's i have actually had to do i know i know that's right no not me but i've tied it into the show i was trying to do. I know. I know. No, not me, but I've tied it into the show.

I was trying to be aware a little bit. Um, but, uh, yeah, we, what we try to do is actually try and take, uh,

uh, on that podcast is we try to take political issues and talk about them as if we weren't any, had no politics at all and just have discussions. Yeah. Like it's one of those things where, Hey, one of these, uh, it's one of those things where hey one of

these uh it's always two things are always pitched at us as two sides i'm like there's way more than two sides oh yeah and there's you could be somebody who's conservative and actually have some liberal views and somebody liberal has some conservative views but nobody looks at it like you're either this or this and like no way well it's if you this then you this this this and this as well that's how everybody wants to be labeled. That's just not how it works. And nobody's like that. But in the political world, whenever you start getting in there, you're asking. I don't want to tell you anything you probably haven't already figured out.

But when you throw yourself into a political conversation, you're literally asking for at least 50% of the people to hate you. Right. But that's what we try to do in there. We try to go at it with no politics. And you still get angry. Yeah, but you got to remember, look what we talked about earlier when people take quotes out of context. Right. And our podcast isn't big try to do in there. We try to go at it with no politics. And you still get angry. Yeah, but you got to remember, like look what we talked about earlier when people take quotes out of context.

Right. I mean, it's just your- Yeah, and our podcast isn't big enough to do that. Hey, we'll bleep out that plug earlier. No, that's why I'm here is to do that plug. That's the main, that and Instagram are the two main reasons you think I'm here to look at your guns.

By the way, I've been working on them. No, you're doing i listen i this is the weird thing too is uh you go in and you see somebody like i'm you you're pretty fairly jacked last time but you even seem even more you seem uh leaner oh appreciate that is that it keto man that's where they had no carbs man i mean i had some oreos late last night because i did a big cardio session i kind of fucked it up but that's why this bang thing is uh is really good there's no carbs i do the keto diet right do you have your are you uh i've ever done a diet no you look fit i'm fitter than i had been like i look that is something i feel like you do worry about though because last time you were here you talked about it you were

like people were making fun of you for being a little bigger i think i was down some last time i saw you though i probably gained i gained some back and i'm trying to get back but i look at some pictures and i am literally a a heavenly body it is i'm the size of something outside this planet i have pictures of me with tom cruise on the tonight show i picture with me with hallie berry and it's like hey can we photoshop these can we green screen my face like I have these pictures with the coolest, Scarlett Johansson. It looks like I'm going to eat them. It's the worst feeling in the world.

What's ours? Sweet tooth? Yeah, chocolate. Me too. Yeah, just, I just, I don't know. And I've discovered like some stuff I can put in coffee

that's like a, you know, a sugar-free thing that actually, it's chocolate chip, but it tastes kind of like chocolate, so it tastes like it's a mocha. So I just make these all the time at home. A little sweet tooth in there. Yeah, it's constant. My kids will get mad at me because they'll have some candy and I'll eat it all.

We're kind of in the process of not only being entertained as all hell by his impressions and his incredible brain, but also now we're starting to transition into teaching a little something something to the old dog new tricks for the old dog you're about to all really enjoy the where this conversation goes you know what i don't enjoy what's that what you enjoy alarm the willies the heebie-jeebies panic there are dozens of words for fear me too what's that me too you don don't enjoy that? I don't enjoy all those. Well, there's only one word, though, Zito, for exceptional home security.

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Two. Are any of them entertaining? What do you think they're going to be, athletes? My son is like, he's over-the-top math smart. Like, he's in. He's going to run numbers like Terry or whatever. Or Rico. Yeah.

Old Uncle Rico and your son just running numbers together. Or like my Uncle Phil. My Uncle Phil was the best because he was. I shouldn't even tell you what he did. Look him up. We'll bleep him out. Phil Caliendo? Yeah, Google him.

But at one point he said, Hey, Frankie, you can't get cheese in Chicago without going through me. What does that mean? What kind of cheese? Any cheese. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, no, I don't. So...

Oh, so your family's connected, huh? I'm Italian. Yeah, we got a lot of Italians in here. There's D'Aguilio. There's Marotto. All right, let me ask you this. In your Italian families, is there at least one person that you know, and when I say at least one, there's more, that has mob ties somewhere along the way? At least that's the story.

That's the tale you get told. Yeah, and they're proud of it, too. So proud. Everybody who's always against, like least that's the story. That's the tale you get told. Yeah. And they're proud of it too. Like everybody. So proud. Everybody who's always against like, that's a stereotype. No, the Italian people in my family are like,

Hey, you know, we got Jimmy. His name's not really Jimmy. They changed it. Wink, wink. We have a lot of Italians where we grew up.

Literally all my friends, last names all end with a vowel. I was the only Irish guy, basically. You grew up in West Virginia? Pittsburgh. Oh, Pittsburgh. My father runs the Italian club where we grew up.

Everything's cash. They have a golf outing coming up, by the way. No cards or checks. It's real. But I got to work at a pizza shop with one of our friends. His name's Augustine Dallisala, right? It's Dallisala Pizza Shop, and his cousin works there. And his cousin alla pizza shop and his cousin works there and his cousin i don't know what he does honestly i

don't know what he does he sits there with a newspaper though and he has this big scar from one side of his neck to the other it's just right here right and i'm just like a 12 year old kid like putting boxes together and all of a sudden his cousin's like i gotta go he runs out and then comes back just his back pocket's filled with cash and he's got this scar and I'm like, what does he do? We don't talk about that. He delivers pizza.

And someday when you're old enough, you'll learn that delivering pizzas isn't exactly what you think it is. I'm just saying. That pizza was delicious, by the way. Just wanted to know. That pizza was delicious. But I did watch that family go from my neighborhood

to a 10,000 square foot house in just a coming of time there. Very nice people. Very nice people. Very hardworking people. But I think there's some question marks around there. But that's you Italians. Hardworking could be hardworking under the table. What you see above

the table, that's hard work as well. What happens below, we keep it to ourselves, understand? Got it, Patty? I did a 23 of me,.09% Italian. I bought an Italian club shirt immediately. Immediately? Look at me, Frankie,

look at me. I'm excited about it uh go see frank caliendo he is in chicago tonight niagara are you gonna go to canada no you don't drink or anything niagara falls and then uh bakersfield on sunday uh the niagara falls shows will be a little bit different you drive there alone uh you got get your family, like anybody with you? Well, Bakersfield's in California, so I'm not driving. That's something to think about, though. No, I'll fly there and I'll work with a guy, George Cantor, who opens for me. We'll work together and drive parts. Is he always up for free, same guy?

Most of the time. I have the same person because then I can always call back to jokes he does. Yeah. I don't ever have to watch his set. Nice. Because if you – I don't know where – I've seen you do a bunch of theaters and stuff like that. I don't know if you go to work stuff out at clubs. I don't.

It's terrible. It's a different type of thing. thing um but when i realized part of the way through maybe about five six years in when you go the bookers don't always pay don't even they don't always know what they're doing some of them really do but some of them have no idea what they're doing and they'll book they would pick some book some filthy act before me and then if somebody goes on it's just really dirty it's hard to be clean after that because sorry across the... Sorry, I crossed the line. Yeah, because it's already crossed the line and their mentality's there

and then you're like, you sound like you're... Years ago, I had to follow Patrice O'Neill. Oh, yeah. And Patrice is brilliant. Unbelievable. But not really worried

about doing the proper amount of time. He was supposed to do... Like Caroline's comedy, I remember doing it. It was a 10.30 show. I didn't go on until midnight. Wow.

And he had gone on for like an hour as the middle act. He did a special. Maybe two. And I'll tell you, it was brilliant. And he just sat there

and talked and it was incredible and his character was so strong and he was so likable and he was doing this thing where he's kind of chewing his own lip

or something. I don't know what it was. Maybe he had gum. I'm not sure. But he was so lovable then i got up there i'm trying to do the wacky voice but i didn't go on until an hour and a half into the show and i just tanked like the first 20 minutes was me trying to win over the audience to my show i was like brutal but i we talked to robert robert kelly kelly who's from b. He was with Patrice for a while there. He actually said in the interview on yesterday's Heartland Radio 2.0 about how when out-of-town comics would come to Boston,

they would front-load the show with Jimmy V, Robert Kelly, Patrice was even a part of that, so that the out-of-town comic would just get buried on the back end. And that's something that could really happen. That sounds like Boston. Anything that any people know about Boston, that's them just setting you up. The first time I went to Boston, I'm like, how you doing?

I'm like, are you nice? You can't tell, like, nice shirt. Do you mean that, or do you hate me? I can't tell. It's that whole East Coast thing. But in New York, it's awesome. I'm from the Midwest. I'm like, I'm scared of you, and I haven't even. It's that whole East Coast thing. But in New York, it was awesome. I'm from the Midwest. I'm like, I'm scared of you.

And I haven't even met you yet. Yeah, but you never knew what you were going to get. So I started bringing my whole show with me. Because I was clean. And I would get the hate mail from people about the opening acts. And I'm like, I didn't book them. So I just started bringing my own people with me. Did you hear about, speaking the opening acts and i'm like i didn't book them so i just started bringing my own people with me did you hear about um speaking of opening act a lot of there's a montreal movie theater where this family's want to go see pikachu the new movie pikachu and uh you know previews are

basically an opening act to the movie there when you go to the theater i guess the person punching the fucking button at the projector thing put in some horror film and uh these families are going to see Pikachu, and there's just this lady getting murdered and murdering the children. I've heard something like that happen before. I could see people coming to your show like, I can't wait to hear John Madden again.

It's Monday Night Football, you got Patrice O'Neill. I was fucking this bitch. I mean, it really was. I don't think I was known as much there either. So it was kind of a show where they weren't 100% there to see me. It was probably a Saturday night. But he was so good, and it was just so interesting. And I just felt like I wasn't.

And I was like, oh, God. I'm going to do this little song and dance routine, and you just gave a dissertation. It was unbelievable. master how long do you go out there for you working on a new special or anything like that uh off and on i mean i i honestly have been working a lot more on the podcasting side of stuff to try and just talk and not have a safety net and check because this is you know these muscles they're very different although i've seen some of the stuff you do and you kind of combine them.

You have that ability. I just tell stories. Yeah. And that's, I think it's because you probably started here and you have your audience that came, comes, comes along with you. No, I was in Twitter. Mostly it was all because of Twitter and my standup started in like a locker rooms and living rooms mostly.

So I would just get drunk at the end of parties. I would start talking to people. And then all of a sudden you see like 20 people surrounding me it's like oh this is just like a comedy club and then in the locker room same exact thing but you'd have a guy from compton there right guy from dade county and then you'd have a billionaire son sitting right in front of you it's like all right now we gotta work the room a little bit yeah and you get you start to learn how to do that but once you build up your podcast and you build up your social media those people go with you wherever it's a weapon it's amazing i even like burt kreischer like he just goes and talks now it's

like it's like it's like he's hanging out with people that's the most amazing thing you think about all this time dana carvey i sat down with dana carvey we're talking about stand-up versus podcast and carvey was like his kids are doing stand-up he's like just focus on the podcast because that's the future you just be able to go do podcasts. And when you're not actually doing the podcast, you'll just talk like you're on the podcast to people because it's like you're already their friends. These people are just hanging out with us that are listening right now. They're at work right now.

They're miserable. They're at home. They're in class. And they're just listening to us bullshit right now. Yeah, and it's fun. I mean, that's the amazing thing is with the podcast too is, you know, you throw a little bit of the shtick in there and stuff when you're me to be to know but to come back and just talk that's what the difference

is even between here and and radio and radio you're really trying hard to sell tickets so the podcast thing and we're even more laid back on the show uh that al and i do and we're just it's just talking and when people know where you're coming from, like you said, they become friends and they feel like they know you. And if you give them that opportunity, you get to know them a lot better too. You just got to show up for them though. That's the big thing is like consistency.

Like both on social media and on the podcast. I have friends who worked at YouTube that said the average time it takes to win a YouTube, to make a YouTube channel really go is six years. That's the average time it takes to win a YouTube, to make a YouTube channel really go is six years. That's the average. People think they're all these overnight things. It's six years.

But most people quit after two or three months. Yeah, because you've got to be careful. Not even that. Normally, it's like fucking the first month. They're like, well, people aren't doing it. I've got other stuff to do. It's like, well, you've just got to show a little bit of commitment so that they can show commitment back. It's a relationship and i learned this from this from i feel like i'm plugging everybody but it's kind of it's the truth it's right but joey

diaz i did his podcast oh what's his um mad flavor yeah there's mad flavor church of uh what's happening now yeah incredible electric he's he's amazing so i went in there i call him and first of all you text him. He's a Cuban guy who looks Italian. He's going to be in the new Sopranos movie. But he's like, he just, hey, how you doing? Everything we did is like, that's exactly what it was. He was talking about on there, like,

stealing coffee-making machines and selling them somewhere else for drug money. It was just like, the stories he has are incredible and a great following and i didn't understand so i'm texting back and forth he only texts once you can text him once and then he calls he's like i'm done fucking okay sir what do we what do we need to do i said i i said i have to get out to take to catch a plane at the certain times like then let's not do the fucking podcast i was like what and can you say podcast one more time podcast like how you say it is so how can you how can i be so scared of you and love you so much at the same time seems like you live in fear a lot i do i well usually i'm

around bigger people it's again it's i set it up for you just you know what i didn't say you know no no it's not i got a holder you kick it yeah i didn't say i didn't say anything. No, no. You got a holder, you kick it. Yeah. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. So what I learned from him, and actually, I can tell you what I learned from you today, too. I'm trying to absorb a lot of things from people who are good at this. And what I learned from Joey Diaz, I said, I've only got an hour. He goes, then let's not do a fucking podcast. I'm like, why not?

He goes, what if we're in the middle of something? What if we really like it? It's true. I'm not going to stop a fucking podcast. I'm like, okay. So we get there. I change my flight. I go, I'm going to change my flight, sir.

I'm going to do it. Oh, yeah. Because he's huge. I mean, he's an important guy. Like, I was looking forward. I'd put him on my show, and I had my show on whatever it was, on TBS. When I'd had that,

he was on there a couple of times. He was really funny, and he's like, hey, do you favor, you know, what am I getting myself into? Did we just start a pizza shop? Come back with cash in your pocket? Slice throat? Yeah.

We don't just slice the pizza here. You know what I'm saying? So, but I'm on this podcast and thinking, he's like, we just talk. We just talk. We just talk. We just talk. And we talked for 20 minutes beforehand and then we started the podcast.

And I saw in the middle of the podcast, I understand exactly why you don't put a time on this. Because if you had, I'd have felt rushed in certain parts. I'd have been looking at my watch. When am I going to get out of here? Trying to get your promotions in. Yeah, they happen.

But there is a reality to, I learn more this, and I think it's part of, maybe I'm a narcissist. I don't know. Ask my wife. Everybody on the internet, by the way, is pretty narcissistic. Yeah, I mean, you start grooming yourself to become that if you are. But if you do the show, you do the show and you do it too. You do the show for the audience.

You don't do the show for yourself. And I think I got stuck a while in stand-up comedy doing shows for me to make the money. And then when you see how people are doing it that are really succeeding, they're out there doing the shows for the audience. And I can see, Ed Milet, same thing. When I see people who are doing the shows, they literally do the shows and care about the audience. And I don't think actors always do that. I don't think a lot of comedians do that. I know I wasn't doing that for a long time,

and I just was lost in my own whatever. But you start to see that, and you see how people do it, and you go, okay, this is how people connect. Because they are actually, you're doing stuff for yourself, too. It's not like you're just selling out to do stuff for the audience, but you do the piece of you for the audience that, and the audience gets something out of it. So we have something, it's like, it's very much, it's like, we'll do something and you'll actually hear me say like, this one's for me.

Like this one, this one's for me. Like I'll actually say like, for instance, this kid is Cuban. He's from chicago he's a college graduate tough reader though can't read so we have him do our last ad read of every podcast and it is it's for you it's 100 for me just uh sit there and enjoy it but yeah i think the it's a relation you gotta remember the internet is a relationship you are in a relationship with your followers and they can uh either go to war for you or against you if you turn your back on them just like a regular friendship it's just the way it

goes so you got to show up for them though is it scary like in your peers do they are there discussions that go on with people that were famous pre-internet really or pre-social media at least uh is there fear of because you have to be naked right to be uh you have to expose your social media personality. That's part of what I struggle with. Because they sense when you're faking. You know what I mean? So you see, everybody knows everything about Pat's life.

Everybody knows everything about Bert Kreischer's life. They see the inside of their house. They see their kids. They see their animals. They see what they're cooking. Open book. You're totally naked. Is that scary?

It's scary to me i struggle with it i struggle with it a huge because what do i what my whole life has been on especially in media has been put a mask on and dance around and pretend to be somebody else so there's something to think about and there's usually a little piece of me in that and i get to hide behind the costume and stuff but to go out out there and do this, listen, and I find it's a weird thing. So people think of me as this regular person a lot of the time. And I kind of am. I come in in the shorts, the basketball shorts.

Yeah, you dress terrible. I haven't brushed my hair at all, ever. Yeah, yeah. And I try to get my, it becomes haircut time because i know i don't want to fiddle with it enough but i actually live i have three houses that are all combined like i have a i have a a a a a a compound like that's what my house is but i don't put it i and i was talking to ed i go how do you do this how do you because he puts his stuff out there

he's like you just do it and And it's like, I guess. You got to remember, though, your people are proud of you for that, right? Like, so my people, I'm not scared to show, like, for instance, where I live. I have a pretty nice spread. I'm not scared to show things because people understand, since they know so much about me, that I've worked my ass off for this. So they're like proud. It's just like a friendship.

You know what I mean? But see, that's the interesting thing for me too is i did work that's that's some people like ed and some other people have said to me like you did work hard for this very hard you did work to get there it's not like you didn't make a lot of sacrifices and but there was a time when i was in la too for the most part early 2000s that's when everybody was not showing anybody anything. That's when they were changing a car company I knew, changed the name of their car company because it sounded too uppity. They wanted everything to be more grassroots and stuff like that. Everything had to seem...

And then social media blew up, Instagram and Twitter and stuff, and everybody was just showing... It was MTV Cribs. So you're your own reality show, right? So this is how you got to look at it. I tell everybody, your MTV so you're your own reality show right so this is how you gotta look at it I tell everybody your social media accounts are your own reality show I believe that on Twitter a retweet is a commercial for your reality show on somebody else's

reality show okay so that's how you get and to get retweets you gotta be relatable entertaining or informative okay so those are the three things you gotta be one of those three so whenever I'm watching Thrones I watch every single scene right have I not every single scene that was funny i was almost like an everything's here yeah it was like not even real words i've watched two episodes of thrones and i've become a throne influencer i was quoted in like sports illustrated usa today and i have no

idea but i'm just sending out relatable thronerer tweets. I'm almost gaming the Throner Twitter, and it's become a gimmick for me. But that's really how Twitter works. For you, since you kind of had your big come up before social media, if I were you on Throwback Thursdays, I would show photos of you back in the day and in the captions, like on Instagram.

Don't be scared to tell the story about what happened that night, how you got there, and shit like that so people can learn about your story since you got big before anybody could learn about your backstory. That's a good idea. I like that.

Thanks. No, finally. Now, was that dick me, or was that... No, no, it was funny. But honestly, though, that's all social media is. People are just looking for genuine humans. It's all they're looking for. Yeah, and it's weird to me, though,

that that's what people are looking for. But it seems it seems like an almost an oxymoron at times because some people are just there are some people who are pretty big who are so big they're just showing what they have all the time too yeah but those people are just because they have a big name right yeah their fans aren't good those fans aren't going to follow them and go to war for them those people are going to okay so those people are going to turn on them as soon as everybody else i totally agree with you because that's that's what my audience is basically like too my audience it's starting to change a little bit because i've been trying to be more honest and real with who i am from this stuff but it's it's funny because i can sell quite a few tickets

i sell a lot of tickets you're a talented dude yeah but maybe not as many tickets as somebody who's like huge on social media but they will all they'll all sell out these vip crazy packages for 150 bucks each nobody who's coming to see me i might get i might sell two of those it's just i was always wondering what is that i think it's part of what you're saying there is that people once they're in a little bit more of your life they want they want to meet you and see more than the act. Because I'm a person people go to see the act. I'm not a person, for the most part, that people go and be around me. People like you, people like Bert, people like Joey,

people are going to see those people. Here's the difference between me and ESPN people. Let's say me and an ESPN big name you name it uh let's say who knows somebody big on espn that narrows it down but no somebody thought it does it does narrow it down there's only a couple people on there that are real but let's say we're at a bar okay somebody is gonna walk up to them and ask for a picture with them somebody's gonna walk up to me ask for a picture ask for a beer and talk to me for 15 20 minutes because they feel as if we're friends as opposed to just a figurehead that's on tv and do you like that i think i feel like the type of person does like

that yeah i like i like to talk about things that are outside of the impression world like if people want to talk about real life stuff i like that but as soon as people start doing impressions for me it's just them and i want me to do like've got to remember, that's a big moment for them. They're going to go tell all their friends and family, I ran into Frank Caliendo, he did this, right? And their friend's going to be like, you didn't do the Grover. Exactly. He's going to get buried by his friend.

You don't have to do the burying. No, I always listen. I mean, I'm not a jerk about it. I've seen you walk in here. You're a cocky sucker. True. I still feel like you missed that whole point or you're just trying to kill me

because you know you could kill me. Don't be scared. We're in all friendly waters here. But no, it's a whole new era and it's something that executives don't get. That's why I'm labeled like the internet guy. I wouldn't have done that. I'd have labeled you as a dick. I don't have done that. I'd have labeled you, I mean, as a dick.

I don't mean that. But I would have thought you got labeled as the guy from sports first, as the guy who's the kicker, as the guy from football. And it's amazing that you're the internet guy. Yeah, from the sports people. I think you've actually already gone a step in the right direction, though, because it's probably better to be that pigeonhole than the pigeonhole of you're just the you're just a kicker yeah yeah or just a punter well i had

to battle through that while i was in football but remember anytime i shoot something into a trash can and there's other people around if i miss it they'll say that's why you were a punter so you're always got to be on and anytime there's an athletic anytime i do a voice other than you know if i do a voice that isn't dead on so they think or so they think yeah i'm like it doesn't have to be it just has to be silly i'm a quote-unquote comedian that's what's and i actually walk around with a quote a pair of quotes but i think i i honestly i don't know what that means but now i run i mean we run our own business, right? And it's a very successful business. Everybody here is getting paid nearly more than they've ever gotten paid in their life.

More than they're worth. Well, me for sure. I don't know about everybody else. That sounds about right. But yeah, but it's one of those things where you can't get through to some people. And those people come from the same line of thought, though, from the entertainment world which is where you're from the old school entertainment world where it's listen i have an act i'm gonna do my act you're gonna appreciate it and then we're gonna move on that's just not the way the world yeah well here's another thing so i do another podcast because

one of the things i was interested in multiple podcasts yeah yeah brilliant um i got like six of them coming along no but my daughter got into all the superhero stuff. And she broke her elbow. She's a gymnast following in my footsteps. And she's... You are a little guy. That's what gymnasts are, little tiny guys. If my chest weren't twice the size of the rest of my body. Like I have sprinter's legs and Russian power lifters up in my body.

Like pre-Andro. I wish I knew what that was. I don't even know what it meant, but sometimes the words are funny enough that they carry themselves. So she started getting into- Noted. So she started getting into these Marvel movies and stuff like that, and I started to like that too.

I'd liked it before. And I grew up watching the Super Friends and all these different superhero stuff. So I started doing a podcast with some other people. And I did it after meeting this group of people at a comic book store, finding some comic books for her to go back and research some of this stuff about the movies that she was watching. Well, it turned out that a lot about the movies that she was watching well it turned out that a lot of the people that were on the this comic book podcast at the beginning didn't

know that much about the comic books they just kind of said they did and and so we're weeding some of them out and it became more of a personality driven show but the way the show was supposed to be was these group of nerds which is actually in a positive connotation there yeah nerds are like being called yeah but these these group of nerds are teaching me about how to be a better nerd and that's real now we're talking but it turned out for a little bit where i was having to drive the show and almost found myself almost pretending like i knew stuff and i didn't like the show and i'm like something's wrong and then i realized we got to get people who know more that can teach him within this last week we got this guy like he he started citing uh issue numbers of x-men and i was like ding ding ding ding we have what we've needed for a while and it all of a sudden he's like yeah in episode 109 and you know he's like he's like issue 109 which 109 through

104 what actually happened was he's got this cadence of speaking that I'm going to work on doing the impression. I'm like, okay, this is what we needed. Another guy on the show, his name's Corbin, and he was pretty good at that. But now we have two guys who can go back and forth, and it's really getting there. And not everybody can articulate their thoughts either. So, I mean, that's something that has to happen. This guy's fantastic. And he had a story about growing up as a stutterer.

So he's got the Bill Walton story of he couldn't talk and now you can't shut me up well i'm happy you're diving into the internet world man yeah i mean i was there before but uh not not the not the instagram i and i i made see i put eggs into the wrong basket too i went deep into vine oh Oh, yeah, me too. I was on Vine, too. My Vine, I did the Morgan Freeman narrates himself, which I should probably- Bring them back. Throwback Thursday.

Oh, that's it. Throwback Thursday. Throwback Thursday, bring it back, and then put the caption in. Even say what you just said. I put all my eggs into the Vine basket. That basket ended up fruitless, obviously. See, truth. Again, it all comes from truth.

And sometimes my brain starts to go, how can I make myself seem more hip don't don't you're not your real story of how you became a successful person is what people want to learn about even your trials and tribulations i i didn't even understand that throwback thursday was that big of a thing it's it just gives you it gives a lot of people who were once hot and ugly now a chance to showcase that they were once attractive. Thank you. But for people that are, I think you would want to do the opposite, by the way, from what I'm hearing about your pictures with Scarlett Johansson.

It's so embarrassing. And nobody told me I was about to die. But you can even, hey, that's even in your Throwback Thursday thing there. Look at how fat I am here with Halle Berry. Yeah, just roast yourself. Yeah, don't be scared in the instagram caption to kind of let it go in there because people don't mind reading about things they that's what the internet no you're right i it's it's something i'm learning to be able to do

i was i'm always i've always been a hider i have been it's incredible to me that somebody of your level of success right now is struggling with the the concept that your real story is the best story you know because i i've never been a confident person though uh a lot of comedians by the way struggling with the concept that your real story is the best story. You know? Because I've never been a confident person, though. A lot of comedians, by the way, struggle with that. Yeah, it's a common trait. Yeah. I mean, my dad, I remember my dad telling me,

you've got to have more confidence. You've got to have more confidence. And that, it just, it wasn't there. And I always second-guess pretty much everything. I can see, and I don't mean this as a thing, but you don't seem to be a person who struggles with confidence to me. Well, never honestly,

never, never. And that's, that's, that's the thing I actually learned today when you were coming at me hard, like I was like, holy shit, this guy's good at this.

I'm like, you just commanded the room. And I just kind of took back as I go. I don't have, I don't get a turn right now. I just got to take this for a little while. You started it. You opened the door and I came in.

Right, but my whole joke was everybody tells you how great it was and it was great, so I'm going to say the opposite to get the laugh. It wasn't just that. It was that. And now I'm taking it back. No, but I honestly never have. And also, when I got arrested, nobody even knew I was the punter for the Colts at the time nobody even knew i was here they thought hunter smith was still the punter it was my second year and when you're a punter you're not talked about much i became just a

laughingstock by everybody i do i do remember that yeah so whenever like literally punch lines on late night shows we're talking making fun of me people have never heard of me the first thing they heard about me was this terrible thing and whenever you get that you kind of get like a fuck everybody mindset not that i didn't have it before then but now i have it so you have even more people either gonna like me or they're not that's on them yeah you know what there's and that's one of the things i've struggled with with you and you might have said it jokingly but there's reality to it you said a mainstream type of there is an element of that yeah and i always worry about that kind of thing and because i've been in the corporate world so much.

I mean, I've done deals with corporations where I have to sign. They'll make you sign things like you can't get in trouble or we'll cancel the contract. And they do that for a lot of people. But they're paying a lot. So I'm careful about a lot of that stuff. But it seems like now the stuff, it's different. I'm a big fuck them. I'm a big fuck them guy.

Yeah, but I think you've also, honestly. I don't think you should be, but I'm just saying for me. No, I'm not there. I mean, part of me could be, I've probably done well in it, but I think there's another path for me at this point, and I would like to get to that.

I would like, I think I want to get there. But you've made your way by being that too, and that's, part of it is is that creates even more success for you. I think it probably holds you back at times. Oh, yeah. Like I was following the Monday Night Football thing and stuff like that. I mean, there's a reality there that you being you hurts you in that position, right? 100%.

But the payoff later is not good. How much do you in that position, right? 100%. But the payoff later is like, yeah. How much do you want that? Do you want that that much? It was a joke at first too, right? Kind of. But a little piece of you wants some of that. Yeah, well, at the beginning, I thought there was no chance. This is what I love.

At the beginning, I thought there was no chance. Like whenever it came up in conversation, I thought there was no chance. Then literally, I mean, we trended for 10 hours. There was people picketing outside of ESPN. I was like, okay. And then my name ended up in conversation. And then you start to believe.

And I was like, you know what? Maybe. Because you had never thought that you had the chance before. And then there was this inkling of, I might have this chance. Holy shit. And then I almost got to the point where I was like, it makes sense for them to do do it this is a smart decision by them to do it and then i start like talking myself into it i'm like yeah you know fuck it i think i'm gonna get to the gig so then when you don't there is that level of yeah uh disappointment but by the way that disappointment the internet loves to hear

about just like some people are gonna hate me some people are gonna love me but once you get to the point where you're like i don't really give a fuck, I think that'll be a freeing feeling for you. I'll bet you, because of who you are, it's just a matter of time that that world opens up more for somebody like you. Well, a younger generation will get into a position. But I think for you, it'll be a very freeing feeling when you stop caring if people like you.

Listen, I've had some of those moments, and they are the greatest. You just walk away and go, fuck you. don't care but on the internet you have to live like a you're like for instance gorms here gets a lot of hate tweets just because he's new to the internet he's an old but he blocks the people and shit like that but those people by the way just they're never gonna like gorman so it's like you might as well in your head just be like hey if that person doesn't like you you're probably not gonna like them anyway so who cares well even like when somebody told me how good his lou holtz was one of those things my first thing was no mine is better i

don't i one i don't care but too good cool i can't wait to hear it that's one of those kinds of things but it is funny how people will pit you they try and i don't know if it's just trolling or what yes but it's the internet by the way trolling or what. Yes, that's the internet, by the way. Trolling is the internet. I have no idea what you're talking about. See, those are little weapons. To me, when someone says their impression is better than yours, to me, that's almost like a compliment to you because you're technically the standard.

Yeah. You are, by the way. I'm just the most market, best marketed name at the time. You see, you're selling yourself so short here. Like, you are the standard of impressions. You guys are too young. Rich Little, okay? And I know you know who Rich Little is.

Yeah, and I know people don't like you. No, I'm just saying. You're literally the biggest impressionist in the world. Frank, I mean, he had his run. He had his run. For somebody, you're in my age, yes. Yeah. But somebody 25 years old, no.

Right. They don't even know. Yeah, but you know what? You're not doing it with the Snapchat filters and the Instagram filters. You're creating a character, like you said. So it's a completely different element to me. And they don't always understand that. The younger audience wants to direct just the line from the movie.

And that's one of those things where- Well, you got to give them that and then go into all the other shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, the problem is that... Get them on the hook, and then go ahead and... You olds like to fish.

I assume you like to do it as well. You throw it out there, and then you get them on the hook, and then you just kind of reel them in. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I would watch your Instagram stories every day. If it was what you used to do with Vine

and you turned it into Instagram stories... Yeah, same thing, by the way. ...it would be awesome. Yeah, I just have to do with Vine and you turned it into Instagram stories same thing it would be awesome I've been thinking about that I was thinking about doing a Trump thing each week you could put a certain guy out of business if you did called plays on Instagram in different voices

you'd have 2 million followers in viral videos you get viral videos and you just voice over them easy I wonder if that happens with impression voices if people will easy yeah and viral videos you get viral videos and you just voice over them easy oh yeah easy i wonder if people i wonder if that happens with impression voices though if people will yeah you can fucking morgan freeman voicing over some kid on a swing set launching himself into a fence that's just something that went out yesterday i mean that's something you could easily voice over

and then you just got to put in parentheses sound on morgan freeman meets the best swinger in the history of swing sets bang that video goes i think you should use your your talent as a weapon and even though it might be something you're sick of you're going to introduce yourself to a whole new audience and be able to move forward with them you know what happened though on vine when i when the vine stuff was going really well the funny thing was people would go oh he's a professional that doesn't count like what are you talking about? You're always going to get those people. Remember, you're always going to get those people.

I stopped looking at that stuff. Well, those people are probably impressionists that fail. So if you get two or three bads, like this show, we get 400,000 downloads and streams every single episode. If we get three people tweeting us that they hated it, it's like, oh man, that's a shame. 399,997 people, though, didn't respond.

You've got to remember that. The vocal minority is probably going to be the people that try to piss you off the most. You've just got to ride with your talent and keep it moving. You get that many downloads daily? Yeah, yeah. We just learned our numbers, by the way, last week. I try not to look into them.

I don't want to know. I should have done a lot more plugs. Well, you shouldn't have walked in like a cocky sucker. I wanted to be different. You take a chance. You know, you shouldn't have walked in like a cocky sucker. I wanted to be different. Take a chance. You know, you take a chance. Sometimes it doesn't pay off. It did pay off.

I think it started the conversation in a good way. Hey, you want to deliver some pieces? Hey, I know some guys, too. I know some guys, too. What is your Instagram so people can start following along while you are going to really make an effort

at being very entertaining on there? At Frank Caliendo. If you can't spell Caliendo, it's the letter C, the word alien, and the word do. So at Frank C,

alien, do. Nice. Which should be its own Instagram thing I should put out there. Yeah, because you are an alien with your impressions. Yeah, right?

God, you're so good at this, Pat McAfee. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. That's my last name right, too. That's big. How do people usually do it? McAfee all the time.

Really? Like the antiviral software? Well, that's McAfee, too. But John kind of murdered some people, kind of changed the name around a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, it's McAfee. Oh, I thought that was McAfee, they said. No, he's McAfee, too.

We're all the same. It's not related, but it's McAfee. Oh, I thought that was McAfee, they said. No, he's McAfee, too. We're all the same. It's not related, but it's all the same. That would be better. I am not related. That would be better than 400,000 downloads a day to be a McAfee to own that. That's like being Microsoft. I got a call in high school to my parents' house phone.

Like, brr, you know, like the old dial-up in the house. I answered it. It was somebody from a newspaper, like I think trolling, asking me if I was related to John McAfee. And I gave like, I think I was a teenager. I was like, if you saw our house, you would very much know that we weren't related to that billionaire fuck that hung up on it.

And I think the article got quoted, a representative from the plum mcafee family it was awesome that's my first time getting quoted from the plum mcafee family it's awesome i was jacked up about it that was brilliant thank you i appreciate that it was uh real stuff real stuff that's what you gotta work on just being a real guy because your story to the top is one that people are going to want to hear. And young impressionists. I'm starting to get there. I'm starting to get there.

You should have confidence in yourself, too. And a lot of people are able to pull off what you have done. A lot of work, man. Thanks, Dad. I could die a son of a fuck if you want. Like I said, when I talked about Joey and coming to do your show, a lot of it for me is for learning and seeing how people who do this well and do it right. And it show, a lot of it is for me is for learning and seeing how people who do this well

and do it right. And it sounds like a lot of ass kissing right now. And I guess in a way it is, but it's, it's, it's honest because I wouldn't say it if I don't, I don't go out there and schmooze people, but this is cool.

This is, this has been another, and I was here before, remember, and I didn't try to absorb what was going on as much as I'm trying to learn today. And I, I,

I don't know if it's, you're an asshole to me then too. So I was expecting you to be an asshole when you walked in. That's why I was ready for you. Anything you want, as long as you don't edit out plugs. I respect it. But I honestly believe that you could be a incredible,

huge, incredible internet personality yeah i think i could get that i think there's something to it but it's going to take time like you have to really commit and you have to learn you have to learn and you have to learn to maybe but that's the tough thing i have with between truth and doing what you need to do is because i don't believe in some of the things i would need to do yet and i have to force myself to go this is what you have to do if you feel like you have to do it probably not the right play because people will see right through it well see i i know that's what i'm saying is those things but i do like the throwback thursday gives me a reason to go okay you know what i don't feel bad about this this is actually

a thing it fits in the category yes it makes sense and then in my brain i go i believe in this but i couldn't believe in this but i couldn't just pretend like if i were just to throw some morgan freeman narrates himself out there uh out of the blue which you know what those were like it was morgan freeman you'd see so i didn't have to be on screen for it oh you'd see the refrigerator door opening like that's when i realized he had no milk for his crush. Do that over viral videos. Yeah. I mean, people love impressions.

They love people flying off swing sets and hitting fences. You know what I mean? If you put those together. Yeah. It's like America's Funniest Home Video meets Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

And that would crush. And by the way, Saturday Night Live, not great. So just go ahead and just dominate that. The internet. I'm going to do my own Saturday Night Live. Frank Saturday Night Live. Frank. Frank Live.

Frank Saturday Night Live. See Alien Do Live. See Alien Do Live. Saturday Night Frank. What did you say? See Alien Do Live. Yeah. Man, I should have just ended when I said that.

Don't cut out the plugs. Yeah, we're i appreciate it thank you guys no i think the ability to do impressions is a powerful one i think you should remember that yeah i i love it it's and the characters that's the other i feel like you're not proud of yourself though i feel like you should be i think you're right about some of that because it's i took i took a route that business was going to be more important than uh and that's i have pluses and negatives by it because i have a lot of money but now you have resources and freedom yeah there is some of that and there but it's also i did sacrifice art a lot of the time and that's what i'm trying to get more into is the art side because it's that show business and even the show into is the art side um because it's that show business and even the show it's the art of it that if there was one big critique of me as i

was even coming up and i think it was the right critique it was like you're too worried about the business side of it and not enough about the art and uh and a lot of times the art ends up paying off in the long run and the business that can pay off immediately well i think there's never too late though no no like a lot of people by the way that are probably going to follow you on instagram once you start doing this stuff they don't even know about any of the things you just talked about right there they have no idea other than the fact that you are an incredibly talented impressionist that's all they'll know there could be a bunch of people out there hurting back have you seen this new guy on instagram yeah they're going to think you're brand new, but out of nowhere.

It's going to be incredible. What is that? Norm MacDonald? Probably 50%. Did you ever hear that Norm MacDonald bit talking about star search? No. One of his great, hilarious bits.

You're doing the introduction. These guys have been, the last 10 years, have been developing their act. Please welcome Overnight Success! And you just go, that's a great name for the opposite of what it is.

It's just very fun. Even like some old Mad TV clips. If you post a couple clips. Can I do that? Yeah, throw that Thursday. And then tell a story of what was happening on set. you just pull them off there okay yeah rip them off there yeah and throw you just the caption is your weapon because the caption is where you tell the story right i know you're going to be great at it because here's why you should be proud first of all is of all the great impressionists like you're one of the very few that put the impression of funny context like you said and wrap it into a story that's entertaining.

And that's exactly what you'd be doing on social media. There's a lot of people that just get on there and do the voice, but they won't wrap it up into a funny situation. Well, I should have done it. You know what I really screwed up on? While Gruden was at Monday Night Football, I should have been doing that stuff. I just didn't understand Instagram at all, as you guys saw last time I was in here. I would do tweets

and just put things in writing. If you see a play and then you turn the camera to me, I was like, I'll tell you what, man, what they should have done right there. Something in that. I'm going to do that with Raiders.

Twitter, by the way, very powerful tool as well. That's where you probably get your most diehard fans. Well, I got off of Twitter for a while. And the reason I got off of Twitter is because I was becoming such a jerk on Twitter. No. Never would have guessed. But I would gain 2,000 followers a Sunday night football game because I'd just be ripping all the players and stuff. And I just felt I was grossed out by it.

By the way, that's easy. It is. It's easy it is it's easy it is and then but i was but i got greedy for the followers and that's when i said ah i just and i started to meet more people and become friends with people who were in the league and something like i don't want them to see this stuff this is just a jerky move and all these all these draft picks are trying to delete tweets of like shit that they said when they're like 13 14 years old that was terrible frank caliendo's going back to his old tweets right after meeting a player oh my god i just tried to this guy was fucking terrible

there might have been some scrubbing days just like there were for us tie it all the fuck together. Follow him at Frank Caliendo. Go see him, frankcaliando.com. I'm excited to see what you do with the weapon of social media. Working at it. You're a mentor. You don't want to be a mentor.

That look at me was like, I don't have time. I did speak at South by Southwest on the power of social media. Did you really? I was on a panel. Yeah, it was great. Everybody's wearing suits.

I was obviously wearing a coat. Way to dissuade them from believing you're the internet guy. No. This is when I was in the league. This is when I was in the league, yeah. You know what I do? I actually kind of remember.

Deion Sanders was supposed to do it. He backed out two days beforehand. I was asked to go, so I go. Deion Sanders' nameplate right in front of me didn't even have my own name tag it was great it was great it was really good you know stupid shit just happens to you too oh and you roll with it all the time you just roll with it i know it's gonna make fun of it because it's truth yeah truth is the real thing for me honesty is the best comedy yep i believe that and but very ridiculous shit

happens to me on a very regular basis it's just how it goes just honestly is attracted to me yeah you put you put yourself out there and you're always i know we're wrapping it up but there was the i remember i was sitting in a room with uh jay leno this is 10 years ago gary shanling rosanne and they're all sitting there and they're talking i'm like this is unbelievable i'm in this same room and nobody's kicking me out kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah. And Leno's talking to Roseanne, and my Roseanne impression is basically Louis Anderson, so it'll be the same.

We're the same guy. Hey. So she goes out and tells this story about, you know, I'm rich. And Leno's like, don't go out. Don't tell them how much money you have. Just talk about the stuff about your real life. They can't identify with that just do it

okay I'll try it and tell them you're actually Louis Anderson but it was there there was that but that's actually more old school thinking

that's more of the old school kind of thinking because today it would be like hey talk about more of who you are and where everything comes from especially on the web

that's exactly what the internet is. Genuine is what everybody's looking for on the internet. And I hope you're looking for tickets to Frank Caliendo doing his action bits and make us laugh funny guy with your impressions. Don't tell us anything about who you are in real life. FrankCaliendo.com to buy those tickets. I followed you.

I thought, but you're wordsmithing. We're word shopping over here. Honestly, I think you're one of the most talented dudes on the planet. We have a couple guys who do impressions. It's not an easy thing. I think you should take a lot more pride in the amount of work that you put in. It's a real thing. Have a little confidence, too.

Even though you're short, you're talented. There's a lot of people that are very tiny or talented humans. Don't cruise. Have a little confidence, too. Even though you're short, you're talented. There's a lot of people that are very tiny or talented humans. Tom Cruise. By the way, when I stood next to him, I was trying to like, am I tall? And then somebody said he had lifts in. Are you taller than him? No. Really?

I think he had lifts. He's probably about 5'8". He's probably 5'7". I'm probably 5'6". My son's taller than me now at 14 years old. Lil Wayne's 5'5", though. Yeah, I tower over him. Hey, who's down there?

Kevin Hart. There's another guy that's been labeled an overnight celebrity. Yeah, right? Worked harder than everybody. Unbelievable. Email lists and all that stuff.

It's incredible. Just keep going. The commitment to the internet will pay off, I promise you. Especially with your talent. Aside from that, ladies and gentlemen, Frank Caliendo.

especially with your talent. Aside from that, ladies and gentlemen, Frank Caliendo. Clapping for himself. I deserve it. I deserve it. He's clapping. He's clapping. Hey, look at you.

Hey, look at me. Hey! That was like chunk or sloth from the Goody. Hey, you guys! Another dated reference But That's all I got That was incredible Just a complete ride

With Frank Caliendo there Ty Yeah Awesome interview It really was We went really deep there I'm happy he stuck around And chatted with us I'm happy we're good friends again

And honestly Gorms and I have had A lot of these similar conversations The last couple weeks Where I'm trying to get Gorms Who has an incredible incredible brain, to kind of adapt to the social media world. It's a very different world nowadays, isn't it? Completely. It really is.

Completely. It's not like, hey, you just do your thing and kind of disappear, get the paycheck and see you later. In the world we live in, it's like, hey, whenever you get a following or an audience, you've got to earn it. And also, you've got to build up the trust with them, too, that you're going to show up every single day. And that is a huge part of the year. Can't just flash that pretty smile anymore, Gorms. Gorms. Damn.

How would 23-year-old Gorms be on Twitter? Take it easy. He didn't like Gorms' Lou Holtz. He did not because he did one back. You know what I mean? And he felt, I feel like there was a potential Lou Holtzoff happening there. Hey, I get up early in the morning

for something, I'll tell you what. I mean, you've got to have three things on your mind every morning. First thing is, you've got to buy the freshest fruit. That's why you go get it in the morning. Never go after 12 p.m. Second thing is, thank the Lord Jesus Christ, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And the third thing is the same as always.

Find yourself a big man that can block the blind edge rushes. Because if you're quarterback timing, you're a success. It doesn't matter what you do. Coach, I have a question. Go ahead. Fresh fruit is more important than thanking the Lord? Absolutely. You've got to eat and you've got to have a good taste in your mouth.

You don't want bruised fruit. Hell, I recruited a lot of bruised fruit in my day. I'll tell you what, I got fired from Notre Dame. Not many people know about this. Just know about it, buddy. One night at the hotel, got a pay-per-view. I thought it was something else, and it came out dirty. The regents and the priests, they run me straight out.

I don't get it. Hey, listen, they're a good football team, but if you want petri, you got to go before 7 a.m. I'm happy you got to do that. I'm happy that came out right there. Oh, man. He is an incredible impressionist, though. Whenever he starts diving into them and out of them.

That's Schefter. I start bawling. I didn't appreciate him trying to be more humble than me, by the way. Everyone knows the most humble guy in the room. And him coming in here saying, yeah, he's okay. He's all right. Yeah, you're the best in the world at being humble. Yeah, he most humble guy in the room and him coming in here saying yeah he's okay he's all right yeah you're the best in the world of being humble yeah he's best in the world of impressions you've said it other people have said it you're the best in the world of being humble it's my thing frank well i think you and frank have a lot in common him doing those voices

over viral videos would absolutely crush fucking crush if i had like an eighth of the talent, my habit would check that. A thousandth of the talent. A thousandth? A thousandth. That's a tough one. You had a moment on Bro Bro Bro Bets yesterday where you lost your mind on the players and started blaming the players for your string of losses.

And I saw it on the internet. And that was one of the first times while taking a shit, looking at a video. That's where I get all my work done. I take a shit where I force poop out while i was laughing at you because that's just like the classic degenerate move like yeah it's not our fault no this is not we do i mean we get here every morning and we do like an hour or two of research before we go and we put we put our heart and soul into these picks and then when it goes out at night the players show up on the field

and they don't do what they're supposed to do what the stats show they're going to do, what the coaches say they're supposed to do and what they've proven they've done in the past and then they go out there and they lay an egg and then it looks like we lay an egg and then people are putting their picks in based off of us and losing money and then we're getting shit on the internet and it's a whole trickle down effect and I'm tired of fucking seeing it

well hey, amen Diggs amen Diggs D Diggs D go down effect and i'm tired of fucking seeing well hey amen digs hey amen amen we interrupt this conversation for a reading from zito thank you pat does your furniture bring you joy sure yeah or are you missing a couch or a chair that says, this is my home? Oh. Are you guys missing that?

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It's not going to last long if we keep up with the Zito ad reads. And let's get back to this conversation. A couple things happened yesterday, big in the news. Adam Gase is now the GM of the New York Jets. Joining Bill Belichick and Pete Carroll as head coaches that have control of the roster. What was that, Diggs? You just made a face? I thought John... Is Pete and John Schneider together, or is Pete... I think Pete is

in control of the roster, I believe. It's a wild move, by the way. I think that's the only reason why he took the Seahawks job is because he wanted control of the roster. I think Chip Kelly had it whenever he was at Philly. Chip Kelly, good guy. Turned out not be NFL prototype. Adam Gase, though. I don't know what happens with Adam Gase. I don't know how this...

Peyton Manning said he's good. He gets a head coaching job with the Dolphins. Does terrible. Gets another head coaching job. Now he's GM and head coach. Good for Adam Gase. Hopefully he does well. Well, and the first thing that he says that gets leaked out is that he didn't want to

pay Lev Bell and all this stuff. So it ought to be interesting. They let the GM, Mike McCagney, go through all of free agency. Well, first off, they go through the coaching shirts, which hires Adam Gase. Then he goes through all of free agency. He signs $120 million worth of people. Third pick in the draft goes through that.

And then all of a sudden you fire him out of nowhere and then put Gase in charge. His eyes couldn't even handle a head coach. Press conference. I can't even fathom head coach and GM. They're going to be fucking rolling around the training room. They're saying hit the sticks. Daniel Jeremiah potentially getting that gig.

You sit next to Rich Eisen long enough, you're going to get a fucking GM job. That's incredible to me. So those New Yorkers, they're Jets, Mets, and Knicks fans, right? That particular group, they're Jets, Mets, and Knicks fans. Typically, yeah. Giants, GM is not a great spot. No, but I'm saying normally it's Yankees, Giants, the Jets, Mets, and Knicks fans. Islanders too, please.

And the Islanders. So let's just talk about them. The Jets now have no GM directly after all the GM moves had to be made. Let's dump the salary cap in the shitter, bring in another GM, see what he can do. Then the Mets, Timmy Tebow's batting 115 in AAA. Not a lot of promise there. You talk about the Knicks. I ain't never seen a team in a fan base in a media sensation push

as much as I've seen this push for a 14% chance. They had a 14% chance, and people were pushing this thing like it was a lock. Zion to the Knicks was a lock on all media outlets. Everybody was dreaming it. And then it turns out, not even close. Not even close. They don't even get a good pick. They're not even going to get a good player.

They got another roll of the dice. These Jets, Mets, Knicks fans, just, man, they don't deserve it. They honestly don't deserve it. They seem like a passionate group. They don't deserve it. I mean, they're going to get Kevin Durant, which is good. But Zion, everybody's saying Zion should think about going back to Duke, seeing how the ping pong ball falls next year.

If I were the Knicks, I'd take that third pick and trade it to New Orleans. So New Orleans has the first and third pick. And then you trade. They got Mavs picks for Porzingis last year. You package those. You get Anthony Davis up in New York with Kevin Durant. And Kyrie. And Kyrie.

And then you send all those young guys to New Orleans. Everyone's happy, and the Knicks fans are happy too. If you're Zion, you've got to be pissed off, right? Because Anthony Davis just hated his time down there. Yeah, yeah. He wore a goodbye, folks. Yeah, and Zion wanted to go to the Knicks. It was clear. He came out and he didn't say it, but that's what everyone was saying. Well, you goodbye, folks. Yeah, and Zion wanted to go to the Knicks. It was clear.

He came out and he didn't say it, but that's what everyone was saying. Well, you know, he went to Duke. That's a bunch of smart people. Somebody should have said, hey, it's only a 14% chance. It's only a 14% chance. That NBA draft lottery thing, people are tanking to potentially get a 14%. That makes no sense to me. I saw your boy Greenberg on Get Up this morning,

Mikey Green. He said that this is the draft that will end tanking. Since it's only a 14% chance and the highest ranked teams weren't even close to getting the top pick, that it should help end tanking. But who knows? Well, I just don't think you should do the lottery. Just do it how the NFL does it.

If you're going to let people tank, let them tank for real. If they're going to suck, give them the first pick. them the first pick you know what i mean i think that helps the parody thing i mean just this fucking luck of a ping pong ball i mean knicks fans have been cursed forever they're obviously not gonna get it also the thought of a literally a ping pong ball figuring out the future of a billion dollar franchise oh yeah i i respect it because i love a good gamble but boy that can't be the right way to do things easy to rig as well but it's not it's obviously not back on day not anymore dude nba what if this is the worst case scenario zion to new orleans is terrible yeah if they rigged it then he would a thousand percent be going to the

next new orleans and memphis the two smallest markets in the NBA. Get the top two picks. Top two picks. Oh, my God. Who's the bald-headed guy that's commish? Silver. Silver's just sitting there about to turn heel like Goodell. About to turn heel like Goodell and just fucking throw the balls out. By the way, very crazy that the person that tweeted out the sound check from earlier in the day wasn't right. That's insane.

I never would have guessed that the NBA wouldn't leave their doors completely open for the sound check of the thing. That thing got a And everybody guessed that the NBA wouldn't leave their doors completely open for the sound check of the thing. That thing got a few thousand retweets. Everybody's like, look at this son's getting the first pick of the draft. Like, what? You think they're just leaving the doors open on who gets the draft? Get the fuck out of here.

That was outrageous to me. That was running too. The internet was running with that. Robert Kraft, we didn't talk about his dick will not be on the internet. Good him cash pays good for him cash pays uh jimmy collins is going back to the pats jimmy collins is going back to the pats i i think this will instill a little bit motivation for him he's a physical specimen i watched him literally leap over a long snapper when there was a no propel yourself rule i didn't think he was coming you just jumped clear over matt overton i saw him while he was in the air

holding the ball for Vinatieri. Almost pooped my pants. Almost leaked some dew. Vinatieri kicks it off his chest. Thought I was going to scoop and score. It didn't happen. Thank God. I did see you fucking chasing it

as quick as you could in that video. I thought somebody else was going to scoop and score that thing. You know, anytime you hear a ta-ta, there's a good chance you got to go do something. You know what I mean? You got to go chase that thing down.

The worst sound in the history of fucking punters and kickers is boom, boom. When you were running, did it possibly enter your mind to go, what the fuck, Overton? No, because it's not really his fault. I know. He's down. Overton would have no idea. To be honest, the rule was you couldn't propel yourself.

So that kind of eliminated people going over the center because you couldn't even touch anybody with your hands. So not even a graze of your own player or somebody else. So anytime you saw somebody over center, it was like, okay, that guy's just looking for a fake. And then whenever you see him literally just do a fucking broad jump, it's like, oh, I did not expect that to happen. And then the NFL banned that as well.

So they got rid of that as well. So it kind of disappeared in the future. So is that in your film at all? What's that? If someone's doing that the next week? Oh, yeah, yeah. But I honestly, I took a lot of pride in my hard counts, man. I got a lot of people to jump off sides.

I was called on a couple of times as well. But you can't always do that depending on your kicker. There's a lot of teams that can't do it because the kicker can't handle a fucking hard, and because the kicker starts jumping. I jumped off sides there. Yeah, you got to get Vinatieri. Yeah, you're not allowed to move your head either or your hand. can't handle like a fucking hard and because the kicker starts jumping off sides there yeah you got to get vinitaria yeah you're not allowed to move your head either or your hand so you have to be able to go from your sternum without even moving it's just all voice inflection i was

pretty fucking good pretty good that's why i hate walt anderson though there's a video on the internet i knew that i drew a guy off sides in london should have been on the one yard line for a two-point conversion we should have went for it. Instead, it was a fucking 38 yard extra point for Vinatieri in London with bad cables because Walt Anderson said, nope, I'm going to call it on one was his exact words in the referee huddle because Overton poked his head in there. He poked his head. So this is what happened.

We're in London. Extra point. Thirty three yarder. It's not a great trip. We already have terrible cables because because walt anderson refused to use the balls that were broken in he used all the brand new footballs so walt anderson was completely fucking us to begin with so it was a 33 yard extra point and they had a nose tackle that i could see just like hey if his hands are white he's coming oh yeah they're red they're sitting

back right he was sitting on the edge of his knuckles like i saw him ready to go so i gave a good old classic you know balls balls call you know like hey this is on two give a set the guy falls right into overton perfect here we go i look at chuck like hey let's go for two we're already we're gonna be we're down let's go ahead and pick up some points overton goes ahead and peeks his little head into the ref conversation the back judge the other judge like I know stack will fail. I know stack will fail. Walt Anderson goes, nope, I'm going to call it on one.

Points at me. He goes, I'm going to call it on one. Bang, five-yard penalty. Drawing somebody off sides. Bang, bang, bang, 38-yard. For the hard count only. No head movement. No, no head movement.

We watched film, too. I didn't even move. Because I practiced in practice every single day. Because I knew it was a weapon. I knew it was a weapon. Because if it's fourth and four, and you can get a first down, I mean, that is a real deal. And if you've got a kicker who can chill and a snapper that can chill,

I mean, it's really good. We practice hard. I mean, I had a four count. I had a four count where I was going to people. I mean, it was a set, set, set. And then it was like, oh, the defense is like, there's no way they're going on four. There's no way they're going on four.

It was like, yeah, got him. I felt really good about it, but that's why I hate Walt Anderson. When a player pops into the referee huddle like that, does it ever work when they interject? No, you're just listening. You're not really helping. You're just listening. And Overton comes to the sideline, though, and tells me that whole story.

He goes, listen, there's three refs that were calling on him, and Walt Anderson literally turned, looked at you, and said, I'm calling it on one. That fucking asshole. He was still coaching, or reffing last year. I don't know if he's still reffing. They need to roll his ass off the field. That guy's holding back the game. Honestly, holding back the

goddamn game. The NBA Golden State Warriors are just sawing Don, the other Curry family member. That's a shame. It's a real shame. Steph Curry plays better basketball when Kevin Durant isn't on the court because he gets more attention, so he likes that. When you have

attention on you, you've got to be able to back it up. That is something that happens when Kevin Durant is on the court. He doesn't have to do as much. Klay Thompson doesn't have to do as much. So they kind of feel obligated to share the love to KD. So instead, whenever he's gone, it's back to the Splash Bros showtime. I think they're in a good spot still. They're incredible with to KD. So instead, whenever he's gone, it's back to the Splash Bros showtime. I think they're in a good spot still.

They're incredible with just those two. They are 28-1 without KD in their last 29. Those types of stats are alarming, especially like you see the ones with Gronk, where they're like without Gronk, they're this, they're... And you're like, well, it's impossible to say that they're a better team without the best player. Sorry, Kawhi Leonard said Darius Butler.

One of the best players, just like Gronk. It's hard to say that, but it's almost a completely different game plan without him, just like with the Patriots. It's a completely different game plan without Gronk, which I'm assuming they're going to do well next year. But without KD, it's a completely different game plan. You've got to respect Steve Kerf. If Milwaukee comes out of the East, look out.

That's all I'm saying. They're young and dumb enough to just win this thing. I mean, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. This sounds very much like a Fox Sports take. I mean, don't sleep on them is all I'm saying. We can come back to this moment later, and we'll judge it on me judging you. Potentially just taking a shot in the dark.

Why do you like Milwaukee, though? Because of the Greek freak? Well, naturally that. But they've got a healthy Meritage back, who's a great player. They've got a healthy Malcolm Brogdon coming back, great player. And Chris Middleton, quietly one of the best shooters in the NBA. I mean, he's not up there on Steph's or KD's level. But I'm just saying, they're going to give a run.

And it's like Golden State, I'm giving them the West already. It's like, who do you want to face Golden State? Do you want to watch Kawhi Leonard for five games or do you want to watch the Bucs for seven? By the way, I kind of do want to watch Kawhi Leonard for five games, mostly because I don't watch him much. After seeing that shot, I'm like, you know what? I wouldn't mind seeing this guy

that took 36 attempts in a fucking game seven must win. I like this guy. No one else would fucking shoot. I don't think they're getting by the Bucs either. You don't think Kawhi Leonard could put the team on his back, though? Like Greg Jennings in a fucking video game? I think he could against the Sixers, but not against the Bucs. I don't know.

We'll see. They're deep. Dude, the Bucs is? Yeah, they're deep. Kawhi's been here before, though. Yeah, he's only five on the court, too. Yeah, Kawhi had teammates with the Spurs, though. Yeah, that's a good point.

And Pop. Yes. Very good point. Popovich is a good point. A good little coach down there. Great little coach down there. From what I heard. Great little coach. I'm not 100%. Popovich is a good point. A good little coach. Great little coach. From what I heard. I'm not 100% certain, but from what I heard.

Somebody sent Foxy an article because we said that Kawhi, if he stays in Toronto, they can pay him $50 million more than if he goes anywhere else. Somebody sent him an article from 2015 saying that it's a lot more money if he's in Canada than in America. him an article from 2015 saying that it's a lot more money if he's in canada than in america i would like you to know that inflation rates change literally daily with the canadian fucking money line that is an honest i went to canada one time on friday got fucked left on sunday got fucked coming back into america because something happened on saturday that i didn't i was way out of my control anytime you go international not only are you dealing with international taxes and shit like that, you're also dependent upon how the economy's sitting

and how the economy's looking. You don't know what's going to happen. I'd assume the difference between $250 and $300 million is a massive one, but is it? I'm with the second, is it? Yeah, I don't think it is. At what number, Gorman, do you think these rich people, it all just kind of starts blending together?

If I was his accountant, or if I handled his money, I'd say, we can go get that 50 million in China. I mean, we can make it up. Go where you want to be. Go where you want to be happy. Just walk over there and just... No, just say, hey, I'm going over there for two weeks. I've got a new shoe.

I'm going to pump it up. I'm just saying, he can... You think there are $50 million in shoe sales in China? Among other things, I'm saying to pump it out. You know, I'm just saying he can. You think there are $50 million in shoe sales in China? Among other things, I'm saying, yeah. I'm saying there are ways for these guys to make money outside the court and contract, obviously. We were going to sell shoes. We were going to sell shoes. We had a great shoe up there.

We did. We designed them. It's still on, man. We're just waiting for the stinking Chinese New Year to end. Because the guy in Brooklyn who's the designer and the manufacturer of these things, great guy. Great guy. Just likes to celebrate Chinese New Year for about three and a half months. Four months ago, we had to put a shoe design together.

We're going to sell the Cuzzy Ones. These things were beautiful. Still are. Cocaine white. Come on. Give me these ice creams. I was excited for them. Put the designs together. Cocaine white. Come on. Give me these ice creams. I was excited for them. Put the designs together.

Send them over. We got to wait for Chinese New Year to end. Haven't heard back from the guys. Guys, I'm real busy up until this Chinese New Year. So let's talk afterwards, okay? It was four months ago. Four months ago. Was it Year of the Pig?

Huh? Year of the Pig? I think it was a monkey, actually. Could be a rabbit. I was Year of the Dragon. We could all remix the Pig? I think it was a monkey, actually. Could be a rabbit. That was Year of the Dragon. We could all remix. I was a monkey, I think. I'm a bunny.

Right around there. I think I was a bunny. Does any of it make any sense? I used to be a Taurus, too, and then they changed me. I think I'm a bull, though. Oh, it's because they got rid of the planet. Oh, I'm a big Those Things guy. Nope.

Morse codes? Morse codes. Yeah. Morse codes? Morse codes. Oh, that's all me. I'm a Leo. Take it easy.

Big time Tommy's new favorite character on the internet. Yep. I fucking love that guy. Old school for life. OS for life. Take it easy. You're a Leo just like Jason. Yeah.

I was a Leo there for four years. Just changed on you. How does that happen? No, well, I was using Jay's ID. August 12th, 1983. How's it going? You, well, I was using Jay's ID. August 12th, 1983. How's it going? You want my social security number? Got it. You want to know what my parents do for a living? Got it.

You are seven inches taller than when it says on the screen. Oh, I had a growth spurt. What do you want from me? I got this when I was 17. You ever heard about the 18-year-old growth spurt? You're also 60 pounds heavier than when it says on here. What do you want from me, dude? Do you want me to call the cops over here? Yeah, go ahead, man.

Call the cops over. There was a time where I was staring down three cops in Panama City and a bouncer with my brother's ID, and they couldn't do jack shit about it. Not a single thing. Knew his social security number, address, everything. And the cops were all just like, this isn't you. I was like, yeah, it is. Run it.

Fucking run it. And then I made the guy erase the X's off of my hands. I remember that. I made the guy erase the X's off my hands. I was like, he was like, go to the bathroom and erase it. I was like,

no, no, no. Come on. This is on you. I'll never get invited back to that place. I bet you they have my picture on the wall. Don't let Patrick or Jason.

That was a terrible guy. Jay tries going in there. I learned Jay was a Leo in Canada. I told the story on Bob and Tom. I took Jay's ID everywhere, and Jay was awesome for me. I got in everywhere since I'm 17 years old. Literally got in everywhere. And I go to Canada, and I'm so pumped up about this whole thing.

I think I was like, I had to be like to be like 16 i guess 15 it was my first time really giving it a go with him because you got to be 19 down there and i take it and i go into sports bar i think i'm wearing like uh probably a jersey of some sort you know like my first time going into a club i'm in canada and i hand the guy my id and he looks at it and he goes uh what's your horoscope sign and i was like oh i memorized there i had everything else ready to go but and i was like uh i was never taught that he was like okay and he handed it back and he just like shooed me away canada nice he let me keep it but he like shooed me away that is nice yeah it is very nice of him and i was like all right so i texted jay i was over your

horoscope sign he's's like a Leo. I'm like, fuck me. I should have just guessed. I think I said like a Capricorn or something like that. Whatever it is. That was an incredible, that was the best door guy question I've ever heard in my entire life. And there's no way he knew either. That's what I'm thinking.

What's he got, a horoscope blog? No, I was 15 years old. Some people fucking base their lives off of that. That's true. People reading in the newspapers still, and they have apps now that tell you, like, hey, if you're a tourist, watch out for tomorrow. Fucking stars coming down. Stars are aligning for a bull fuck-up tomorrow.

I'm like, thanks for the email. Not that I don't have enough shit in my life already. What are you, Gorms? Cancer. Of course. You told me. That makes sense. All right.

This show is... Hey, we're ending on that? Yeah. Take it easy. Take it easy. Shout out Big Time Tommy. Go ahead and follow him. I don't know what his Instagram is.

It's tough to say, but he's electric. You'll find him. From myself, Nicky Boy, Gorms, Zeet, Diggs, Ty, Evan, Cop Todd, who is currently doing cop stuff, which is awesome. And Frank Caliendo, who I loved, hated, hated, loved again. Great story. Great conversation with him. So thankful for him.

Tweet him, Instagram him, at Frank Caliendo. We can't thank you enough. Ty Schmidt, hit the... The... Musica? You just couldn't do it. You had to say something. I'm bad and awkward in class times. Music.

You just couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. Ty Schmidt hit the music. By the way, big video coming Sunday night. Watch along. I'm doing Money in the Bank. Watch along. While watching along Game of Thrones.

While watching along WWE. Big time throner video coming out on Sunday. Diggs and Zeke want to work here. Had to do it. Can't wait for the world to see it. Might be the biggest one of all time. Yep. Simpsons video is getting brought back up,

by the way, because they predicted a couple of things here recently. The whole dragon burned down thingy. Homer was watching a dragon kind of saw down a town. I mean, I guess, yes, it definitely makes sense of the last war or whatever.

It's pretty accurate. Yeah, pretty accurate. Matt Groening, time traveler. Haven't seen the video. Go see it. 100 million views.

Probably already saw it. This one might do the same goddamn thing. Big movie coming on Sunday night. Yeah, pretty accurate. Matt Groening, Time Traveler. Haven't seen the video. Go see it. 100 million views. Probably already saw it. Fight against. This one might do the same goddamn thing. Big movie coming on Sunday night. Series finale of Thrones. Money in the Bank. Watch along with the WWE. I'll be watching along while watching along.

You can watch along while I do that. Ty Schmidt. Hit the music. Thank you. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I've seen you around for a long, long time I remembered you when you drank my wine

Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I sit and walk in town in Chinatown I call you but you could not look around Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I pay my money to the welfare line I see you standing in it every time Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?

The color of your skin don't matter to me As long as we can live in harmony Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I kinda like to be the president So I can show you how your money's spent

Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I know you're waiting for the CIA They wouldn't have you in the mafia Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't believe you're there. uh recorded this late night people are saying the blues got fucked because a hand passed by the sharky sharks and also the milwaukee bucks which gorman said earlier could win it all shut down the toronto raptors for the last three minutes and 30 seconds to get a big win. They decided not to send Kawhi Leonard to a free throw that the coach could choose who was shooting the free throw late in the game.

All hell's breaking loose in the six. Was Gorman right? Could the Milwaukee Bucks win it all? I'm saying no. Anyways, we'll see you next week. Heartland Radio 2.0 with Friday Bangers coming to you tomorrow. I hope the Milwaukee Bucks take off. You know why I learned tonight?

George Hill's on that team. George Hill owns a Pat McAfee jersey. So everything I just said in the last 15 seconds, let's reverse it. I hope what Gorman said was right. I hope the Milwaukee Bucks go on to surprise the Golden State Warriors with or without Kevin Durant. Whether or not he's going to the New York Knicks or not, I hope the Milwaukee

Bucks can make it happen. I don't see it though. That was a Fox Sports take saying they're going to beat the Golden State Warriors. But I'm on board with the Bucks. Let's go Dears. Let's make it happen. Heartland Radio 2.0 tomorrow. Friday bangers from old Frankie who got sick today from eating turkey

burgers. Trying to get healthy, the poor guy. Everybody's fat shaming him. He started eating healthy and now he's sick. He's puking. But his bangers will reign supreme and we'll go into the weekend in fantastic fashion. I can't thank you all enough for listening to this show. Tell Frank Caliendo he was awesome.

Cheers.