The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 084 - A National Championship, A Prison Stint, & Incredible Inspiration LIVE FROM COLUMBUS

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

On today’s show, Pat and the guys are Live from the Jo Ann Davidson Theatre in Columbus, Ohio on the Pat McAfee Does America Tour. They welcome in one of most inspirational figures anywhere, former All-American, Big Ten Freshman of the Year, Mr. Football in the state of Ohio, and 3rd round draft pick of the Denver Broncos, friend of the show, Maurice Clarett joins the guys for an incredible conversation. They cover his life including all the trials and tribulations, what he did to rehabilitate himself, his time in prison (including a prison intramural basketball championship), and he fields some questions from the guys in one of the most moving, deep conversations we’ve ever had. (:34-42:38). The guys and Maurice also do a Q&A with the crowd and field questions for about 45 minutes. Also included is Pat and the guys reflections on their experiences over the weekend on the first run of the Pat McAfee Does America Tour. This isn’t one you want to miss. Come and laugh with us, cheers.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This man's a champion in more ways than one. You're going to learn during this conversation. All we ask is while you're listening, please tweet us what you love, what you hate, and any other questions that we miss because this man will be joining us very soon in our office. Let's get to it. We're going to kick off this podcast and bring out a guest I think is going to bring it all back around. Ty, what's today's date? Today is Tuesday, June 25th. It is Tuesday, June 25th. And today we have an absolute heater for you. Yes, it's brought to you by SeatGeek, the greatest ticket-buying platform on Earth.

That's right, if you're going to buy tickets from somewhere on Earth or the Moon, you go right to motherfucking SeatGeek. By the way, aliens? Nope. Inside the fucking Moon. I don't want to say, I don't have a long enough arm, but been calling this one for a long time.

I dropped out of school very early, but I think I can figure that one out very quickly. I'm happy everybody else is joining us. If you're going to get tickets, go to SeatGeek. Promo code Pat, get $10 off your first order. Promo code McAfee, get... $20 off your first order. Let's use a little self-awareness.

If we're not rich yet, let's use McAfee, get $20 off. If you're already wealthy, let's use promo code Pat. Let's get to it. Today's guest is a man who is an inspiration to people all over the world. player of the year. He was Big Ten freshman of the year. He's a guy from Ohio who has turned his life around in incredible fashion. Ladies and gentlemen, please make some noise for Maurice Claret. I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven When I woke up, spit that on a necklace I told God I'd be back in a second Man, it's so hard not to act reckless

To whom much is given, much is tested Get arrested, guess until he get the message I feel the pressure Ladies and gentlemen, Maurice Claret, baby. When we were trying to think of guests here, after Anthony Gonzalez, good friend of mine, told me to go fuck myself, we were trying to piece together a list of humans that we would appreciate.

And you had been on our show before, and we loved everything that you said on the show but we had no idea about how you would feel about coming back to Columbus and then when I reached out to you said you stay here what does Columbus mean to Maurice Claret and not only just your story but now everything hindsight looking back on life oh this is uh basically home I first start off by saying, O-H! O-H! Thank you, Maurice.

I appreciate that. There we go. A lot of them, by the way. You guys got a lot of them. I mean, too many. But what does Columbus mean to Maurice Claret? Oh, no, it's like a redemptive side. You know, I came here as a 18-year-old kid.

We came out, you know, we won the championship. You had, you know, every high that you could possibly want to have as a kid. Hell yeah. You know, this is also the same city where, you know, I committed a robbery case and my whole life kind of like flipped upside down. You know, a few blocks away I was in jail and then to, uh, to go and

everything I've done in life to redeem myself from prison, get my life back on track. Uh, my family's back there to get my family back in line. My wife, she, she's not my wife yet. We'll get married next year. Congratulations. There we go. But, uh, I said it's 14, 14 years, 14 years we've been together. She graduated from Ohio State. But to get it all the way back, to bring it all the way back, and to redeem yourself in front of people who rooted for you, who cheered for you, this is where I basically built myself. This is how the world had a chance to meet Maurice Claret.

Of course, I came from Youngstown, but there's no place like Columbus. There you go. Yeah, but if you're here, you know, the city's growing, the city's booming. There's like Columbus. There you go. Yeah, but if you hear, you know, the city's growing, the city's booming, there's people everywhere. It's a great place to live, a great place to be, and the reception from people now is a more human reception instead of athletic where, you know, they may have a cousin, a brother, an uncle who have been through something and then to see me redeem myself, I get that sort of interaction from people.

So this is a great city to be in, a great city to live in. I live right up here in Westerville, but I love it. That a boy, Maurice. I'm so thankful that you said yes to join us here tonight because your story, although it's inspirational, it doesn't get talked about enough. When you were on a football field you were a fucking animal you were an absolute animal on the field in between the the white

lines there how would you describe the way you played and whenever you would go into a game what was the mindset whenever you were playing for the Buckeyes because you were young you're a freshman you were just a little kid out there. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what. A lot of my personality and how I play got shaped from two things. Our high school coach, his name was Tom McDaniels. He was Josh McDaniels' father. Patriots. Patriots, right?

Well, he was almost a Colts head coach. Yikes. Literally turned the plane around. which is a wild move I'm sure his dad's a much better guy sorry no a lot came from there so um he was the guy who set me down and broke the entire game down to me uh so as much as I was, like, you know, very physical and super aggressive, I modeled a lot of what I did after him just breaking the game down, understanding from, like, an artistic standpoint. But the second half came from I used to watch a bunch of tapes of Mike Tyson.

So I used to watch Mike Tyson, how aggressive he was. And I would, for my 10th, 11th, and 12th grade year, I trained in a boxing gym. So anybody who's ever boxed before, you start to realize that if you box or fight, you become, like, naturally aggressive towards people. And that's what kind of happened on the football field. But that was, like, the magic sauce to everything. That's what I did for punting, too. That was kind of my thing, yeah.

I tell you this man I don't know how anybody feel I feel like a game coming out This has to be some of the funniest shit I've heard I'm telling you I didn't know what to expect I had no clue what to expect I got a feeling right now

I just feel so fucking good and euphoric and happy I don't know what y'all got going on I got a feeling right now to just feel like so fucking good and euphoric and happy. I don't know what y'all got going on, but it's like everybody can feel it. You're an incredible talker. You have podcasts. You do a lot of great things. You're an incredible speaker.

Do you feel obligated at this point to kind of give back to people and to be this role model and leader for not just Ohio, but basically for a lot of people who have been through a struggle or anything like that? Yeah, I'll just tell you this. When I was going through, you know, life is a lot more, information is a lot easier to share. But when I was going through, like, my stressful time, right, I get kicked out of school. Just think about this. I'm 19 years old. I get kicked out of school. At that time, I I'm 19 years old. I get kicked out of school. At that time, I couldn't do the work

because I had somebody do my work for me. So I couldn't go back to school. Oh, wait! Yeah, yeah. I respect it. I wish somebody did that for me. I would have been a doctor. No, but it's serious stuff.

So you kicked out of school. You have no money. You're separated from your friends. And I don't care who you are. And they cut my scholarship check. So as a kid, that's a lot to deal with. If you're an adult in here and somebody cuts your job, they cut your friends, they cut these things off, that's a ton for any kid to like digest. And so, um, to, to, to understand how that feels to understand like the depression and stress to get that off of me and getting past it.

Now when somebody comes to me to direct message me, they'll call me, uh, I own a drug and alcohol treatment center. So when they come to the facility, they come and they, and they're in a broken spirit, you know? So, so. No, so when they come in, some people can do it responsibly. Other people can't. Sorry to interrupt you. I know a guy. Unbelievable. I know a guy. Unbelievable.

It's great to share the mentality with people that it takes to get over their shit, you know what I'm saying, to own your shit. And so I'm not knocking anybody who drinks. I just don't drink a drug anymore. And for me, it just wasn't a place in my life, right? Hey, I want to let you know, you're a real, like, honestly, I have friends who have become completely sober individuals and people that have changed their life. I mean, I go through bouts of it every once in a while, except for whenever people literally pay me to drink. That happens. I mean, in natural light, which is like, so this is what we want to do. We want to pay you this amount of money.

We want to animate one of your stand-up stories. And then we want to take you to, like, three events where you just chug natural light for our spot our friends and i'm like i mean i guess i can do that for you but i'm gonna kill myself out there that's what we're looking for but your your story is so i i honestly can say personally that whenever i'm like going through something there might be a day where I wake up. Everybody assumes that I wake up every morning just ready to take over the world, which is the case normally. But whenever I'm not, I

look to Maurice Clarisse. I look to your posts, your Instagram, your Twitter, and then listen to the things that you've said. So you've done a lot for me. That's why I've been very thankful that you've come out here. Thank you. The boys have some questions for you if you don't mind.

Can I ask you a question about the big case? Is that okay? You go around the country talking about this, right? Hey, he's a cop. Okay. Wait, how deep is this question going to be? There was a day. I didn't going to be... There was a day... I didn't want to be involved.

In 2006, I think you were going through a trial, and there was a day where a police officer tried to stop your car, led to a pursuit. When they stopped you, they found you with a bulletproof vest, an assault rifle, two handguns, and a katana sword. My question is what do you have for breakfast

on a day that starts like that that's a hell of a day you had planned why do you start with oatmeal I don't know how you get that one going? Alright, today's the day. Today's the day. Well, there's a back story to it, right?

You don't have to answer that one one I have a real question for you because you're such an inspiration to not only me but everybody in this room I mean and to look at you where you're at now from where you were is a lesson to be learned from everybody there's no doubt this is going to be a movie one day

if I have to pick somebody to play you in the movie about your life, who would you handpick? Hey, Maurice, be your own man here. You make your own decisions. You don't listen to these people. I don't know. I don't know.

Somebody. What did you say? I don't think, somebody. What did he say? I don't think Google... Easy, easy. Just get on your phone real quick and Google that before you say your next fucking answer. Jesus. A little bit handsy.

It is the Big Ten. Oh. Take it easy. Now, have you thought about... I assume, oh, that guy's the fucking... He saved me from puking earlier, so I guess I... from alcohol.

Oh, Jesus. The thought of having a movie about you in this whole thing, that has to be a pretty cool feeling, though. Have you given much thought of that or any steps about that yeah I feel like this man I try to inspire myself but even more I want my life to represent like somebody who just like like never fucking gave up you know saying like and um and somebody says CSG a different day same discipline yeah oh it's not what I mean? And somebody said CSG? That's a DBSD. Different day, same discipline.

Yeah. That's not what I would have guessed. All right. Not what I would have guessed. All right. I thought, I didn't know what she was saying, but I was. No, no, no. I thought that was like a married thing, like different day, same dick.

I thought it was a dentist. What was that? Yeah, what is that? No, so, like, so, when you, like, you know, when you're down and out, you have to find out different things that motivate you, right? And, uh... This is going great. No, this is serious.

Yeah, hey, you hear this? This is serious. Maurice, I'm sorry. No, it's all good. Jeez. So BBC's... Hey, man, This is great shit We'll edit that out

I'll tell you what Maurice Claret Very much loved in Columbus Very much an awesome man Very much the best Incredible human being And we interrupt this conversation That is about to get better. I promise you, if it hasn't already taken off,

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What is that again? It is CBDMD.com. Promo code, coupon code McAfee. You get 20% off your order. And if you haven't jumped on the CBD train yet, now is the time, especially with the CBDMD folks, because it is premium CBD. And I have been training a lot more lately. Yeah, you have. I've been getting back into a little bit more Fiat Nias.

And I've noticed that the CBD has really helped me take my training not only to another level, but also make me wake up feeling like, yo, am I 21? CBDMD.com, promo code MACFEED, 20% off. Let's get back to this incredibly inspiring human being, live in front of thousands and thousands of humans in Columbus, Ohio. No, but when you're down and out, man, you need to like, and there's people in here who are fucking down and out. They came here to have a good time, but you need shit to motivate you every day. And I used to tell myself, like, in order to get on track, like, you have to have a supreme level of discipline. So I used to say, you know, different discipline same day.

And I would find things that I would be disciplined on that would help me move forward, right? And so I use Twitter or Instagram as a space move forward, right? And so I use Twitter or Instagram as a space for accountability, right? So I put my post up and just to kind of make sure that I'm doing the same shit that keeps me moving forward. And sometimes when you put yourself out there, it's a lot easier for like people that you don't even know, they hold you accountable.

Like, you know, where the fuck you at? Are you running today? Are you exercising? So I used to tell myself like... Diggs hasn't exercised in about 10 years pretty fucking disciplined group up here but thank you for acknowledging it but uh that's that's sort of like my thing um keep me on track i don't know man you know you know as an athlete you have so much energy once you're done playing please please continue more that's not funny

but you would imagine so we go through all these years we do all this practice and you have so much energy and aggression and find a platform to put that on on a daily basis is important because if not you go fucking crazy and and i'll say this in a serious way you you all can have fun and uh and have a good time and drink But there's a lot of guys who you know who are fucked up and they'll end up drinking and holding their problems there Yeah, and so, you know, you have to encourage them even though this is a platform. This is like a fucking great time I'll tell you that shit But you're right though. It is something that's real and I think there is something to be said about speaking something into existence

Like it's true. Whenever I say something publicly, normally I have no idea if it's really going to happen. But if I say it enough, I'm kind of forcing myself to have to back it up, right? So it's like, yo, I'm going to be the WWE Universal Champion at some point like that. All right? That's going to happen. That's going to happen. That is going to happen.

Now, I don't know how many hand jobs i'm gonna have to get like these these are things that are gonna happen and now if they don't everybody will think i'm just a lying asshole so it's like well i ain't gonna do that i ain't gonna go out like no bitch i'm gonna go make these things happen but to do that i think it's a real thing to do that and And a lot of people, I don't think, appreciate the fact of when people put their goals out there, when people are willing enough to expose the things that they're going through, they don't even think about how it's potentially helping the person that's putting it out more so than helping everybody else. Absolutely. Accountability is a big...

I'll tell you like this, man. Accountability is a motherfucker. And the woman back there who's been with me for 14 years, my brother's also back there. Good beard on him, too. He's got like a Rick Ross look. Oh, yeah. He was the first one to turn the corner, and I was like, what the fuck? They're your accountability buddies.

Accountability buddies. Oh, no. Accountability buddies. But it's a real thing. Yeah, but you know, man, you start from nothing. I got out of prison with $400. You know what I'm gonna build buddies, but it's a real thing. Yeah, but you know man you start from nothing I got out of prison with $400 You know saying and to to go around the world to speak to save money to end up building business You know, I employ probably 140 people now what?

I am 12 employees and I think about disappearing every day. No, but it's serious shit. But like, so this is the story. You're like, you're building your life. You're putting it back together. You're staying humble. You're staying hungry. And you're constantly moving forward.

And I want to be able to look at somebody in the eye, anybody in here, at whatever point they may be, if they're going through some shit, they'll be like, yo, fuck, I did it. You know what I'm saying? I went for $400. I went from the NFL when my lady was with me. She went to Walmart. My family saw me struggle. My family saw me struggling drinking.

My family saw me struggling with all this shit. And to get your shit back together from that, like, that's everything. Oh, yeah. You're awesome, dude. The guy who's about to ask you the next question, zero discipline, zero accountability. Name's Dix. So I watched a documentary recently on prison.

Easy. Take it easy. This is a serious question. Are you kidding me? Can you not? It's a serious question. It's about prison. Take it easy. Are you kidding me? Can you not? It's a serious question. It's about prison. Adam Sandler went to prison. He stole his wife's Bentley and got a DUI.

He was a football player. And the warden recruited him strictly to play for his prison football team. Did that happen to you? Is that a real thing? It's a documentary, man. So, I will tell you this, and it's something I'm proud of.

I didn't play prison football. I did win a championship on the basketball team. Let's go. Let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, prison basketball champion, Maurice Correa. Did you play other prisons? But there was a football team, though? It's a real question.

Hey, by the way, this is, again, once for me. I don't even. So, like, so you guys, like, got on a bus and went and played other prisons? No, so you play intramural. Oh, we played our team name. No, so you play intramural. Oh, we played our team name. No, so you have 2,200 guys inside of an institution. And so everybody, you know, picks their seven or eight guys and you play the whole institution.

And, you know, to be honest with you, the crowd is like this in prison door basketball. So, so, so prison, they got the alcohol, they got the everything and they, they enjoy watching the guys play the game. And so were you the first round draft pick then? I was. I'm going to take that fucking damn near Heisman where I don't know if he can play basketball for shit,

but he's going to be on our team for sure. What you guys got over there in the D block, bro? That's all. Are you good? You bought 10 years ago. I just jogged now, but I can shoot. That's about it. Yeah.

There we go. That's a high school right there. I can't see too many people back there, but I can hear them. Yeah, that's that one fucking guy. I can't see too many people back there, but I can hear them. Yeah, that's that one fucking guy. The guy from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Diehard Michigan Wolverines fan.

Jeffrey Gorman has a question. Well, when you come on our show and get nice and deep and talk about your personal ideas, I want to switch it over to football. Is that Dr. Phil? That's a bad Dr. Phil. I want to know, here's the thing I remember about you. You ran violently, a violent ball carrier. Who did you want to be when you were this big and you saw those guys in the NFL playing? Who did you want to be when you were this big and you saw you those guys in the NFL playing? Who did you model yourself after I'm not sure if people remember this guy You ever heard of Christian? That's where we went night that Nigerian nightmare yeah, yeah, so when I used to see him

He will violently run through people and did I remember since I used to see him. He would violently run through people. And I remember, since I was a bigger guy, I used to watch Jerome Bettis. Let's go. Hey, down there, Steelers. Get off the track. The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. That was forced in, like, every kid's ears that grew up in Pittsburgh. I swear to God, I popped out of my mom's vagina and they were like, here's the deal.

Jerome Bettis is the boss, and the wheels on that bus go round and round. Pledge of allegiance, wheels on the bus. You weren't that big, my friend. He was a big boy. Yeah, he was big. By the way, you walked in today, and I think all of us, we all had side conversations behind your back, no offense. We're like, yo, Claret looks like he could really fucking do it right now if he had to. You're sticking on a pretty...

Oh, it's just a look. you're sticking on a pretty you're on a pretty oh it's just a look that's right these look I don't know the order you get you just

I don't know what shuts down I just jog that's it same you do no upper body and your tits are decuffed Jesus

you look like you can play right now if you had to that's what I'm talking about that's what I'm talking about Jesus. You look like you could play right now if you had to. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. This next guy, he crashed an RV into MetLife Stadium. Allegedly, allegedly. No, definitely, definitely.

No, no, it's definite. Is that a true story? Duh! Duh! Totally true. Yeah, there's a video out there that's kind of screwed us over now. With the Red Zone, is that what it's called? Yes. For all the people that you helped and changed lives,

is there one that sticks out the most? Seriously. Is there one that sticks out? I don't know. They all come the same. You know, you'll find somebody. You know what? This one guy, Corey. I'll't know. They all come the same. You know, you'll find somebody. You know what? This one guy, Corey.

I'll say this. The guy, Corey, he wouldn't mind if I said his name, but he was a guy who struggled at other treatment institutions, and I kind of told him, like, you know, how treatment works and, you know, trying to get himself together. And I really didn't think he was going to stick it out just because, you know, when a guy goes to treatment, there's so much discipline. You know what I'm saying?

But when he stuck it out and he graduated, you know, he's been with us for about, I want to say about a year and a half now. He's clean. He does his music. He goes and throws his concerts. You know, he has a relapse. And so it's encouraging to see guys like that. But I'm telling you, some of the most powerful conversations,

I remember there was a mother who had called me, and her son was a college baseball player. But he had seen my show on tv and was like you know maybe if you call him uh maybe he can get you some assistance and so i remember um you know talking to her and then like encouraging people just to get inside treatment so i don't know you know what i'm saying but there's a few people or there's a few instances where you know you're just happy that people get themselves back together get their feet back up under. How about Z with that question? That was a great question.

Zito. Fucking journalist Z right there. The longest shot was my first question. I had to go to the second one. It's on me. This next guy, he was a Big Ten angler. A fisherman for Iowa. Never casted a single cast. Ty Schmidt.

We alluded to it earlier, Maurice. You were built like a brick shithouse when you were still playing, but I think you were built at like 5'8", and when you walked in here, I thought you were like fucking 6'5". So have you grown like eight inches since you graduated? No, no. I tried to lean up a little bit, but that's not going to work. It might be the shoes.

I got some Vapormaxes on. When you came in, and when he was doing his Gruden, and he was talking about your quarterback, you were in the back going wild. And I thought, if you guys maybe had a different quarterback during that run, you might have won each game by 60 instead of 20. Yeah, I know, motherfucker. I watched the game. Ken Dorsey was no better

nah well I love Craig Krenzel Craig Krenzel did a lot for our team did he yeah I wish he was here

somewhere he might be I don't fucking know to piggyback on Zede's question I wish he was here somewhere. He might be. I don't fucking know. To piggyback off Zeed's question, do you really feel like you're, you talk about God's plan or whoever's plan or whatever, like that one life had to be sidetracked for a while in order to improve like literally thousands of lives now. You know what I mean? Like that's an incredible thing to think about.

So I can set the microphone down. If my family came here, I just had this conversation coming down here on 71. I said, man, I don't think my life was, I wasn't meant to play football. I just really said, and as weird as it sounds, when I was younger, I regretted it.

I was like, man, because I really wanted to play football. I really wanted to go out there and score touchdowns and get like, my ego wanted it, Right. And so just the way I see things play out in how peaceful I am, how happy I am, how centered I am with life and how much advice I can give to others, how many people that I help now in comparison to what I would have been doing if I played football. I 100 percent in my mind, I firmly believe that that just wasn't for me. I think it was a gift. I played for a year. It was it was it was wonderful. But my mind, I firmly believe that that just wasn't for me. I think it was a gift.

I played for a year. It was wonderful. But my body, I wasn't supposed to beat my head up. I wasn't supposed to beat my body up. I wasn't supposed to do it. And now I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You know, I have a family. I'm happy.

And I just think that's it. Yeah. You're supposed to be a different kind of hero. And you are. That's awesome. Maurice, I have a question. Please. Oh, thank God you're back. Jesus Christ That was a great answer, man

I was pissing back there No free ads, no free ads This is not bang, it's pang Nick, did you ask your question? No, I'm about to right now This is going to be a good one, I have a feeling Yeah, it's going to be hard-hitting because I am a published journalist in the New York Post as of today. So I just want you to know that.

Let's go! For those that don't know what that means, Nick put out a tweet about the NHL Awards. Apparently, the biggest moment of the night was when a guy with the last name of Price came out and saw a child who had lost his mother. It was a very emotional moment. Everybody was crying. It went viral. It was awesome. It was really cool. But Nick did some real investigative journalism to get down to the bottom of it. And the guy, the suit that he was wearing, the NHL player, in the pocket, he forgot one of those like pocket squares. So he actually used his wife's panties and put them in there.

So this video from the NHL Awards has gotten like 200 million views. And he's hugging this kid. And in the jacket is his wife's black thong. And Nick uncovered this information and tweeted it out. Now he's in the New York Post. He's in the fucking UK Daily Mail.

This guy literally is the panty bandit over there. Just doing my job. Yeah, you are. You're a legend. As a man with multiple degrees, I have to ask you this. Go ahead. You went to Ohio State. I heard some things. Maybe you received some verbal tests.

What was the toughest course in your tenure at Ohio State? What is a verbal test? A verbal test would be, if I were to ask you a question, when did Christopher Columbus sail to America? A, 1700. No. B, 1492. C, 1800. 1700. No. B, 1492.

C, 1800. I'm going B, by the way. 1492. All right. Look at me. I'm pretty proud of me right there. Is the NCAA out there? No, but you mentioned it earlier that people were doing your work for you, whenever you were cut and let go you couldn't go back to school how did that work because

we at West Virginia we had something called athletic coaching education was a major and guys would literally go in there and watch movies they would write a review on it and have to give a test like the Rudy was the final. Movie Rudy was the final. They were like, what did he do to do this? It was like, A, have fun. B, work hard. C, have grit. Or D, all of the above. And guys would be like, D? They're like, that's right.

You're going to graduate with fucking honors. Fake story, by the way. Rudy? Fake story, in case anyone didn't know. See? Yep. Easy. That's it.

Joe Montana said it. Fake story. Fucking Joe Montana can't have anybody else getting any shine. He's in those Skechers commercials doing a fucking old man role. But the story about academics in college is something that comes out on a very regular basis. Your story is a real one. What was it like, though? What was it?

No, I just, I really speak for most places. I think, and just for those who don't know, you know, we have a group of athletes who come in from failing school districts, which a lot of these guys do. It's really a racket, and I can only talk about it in a serious way and you have a bunch of smart people who fool the kids to believe like hey you know come to African American studies or communications and the kid thinks he's getting over on a program but they're actually putting you on a fluff class to keep you eligible and so that's what happens you know you get put inside of these um excuse me you get put inside of these um these uh these these classes and as a kid just saying hey you know all i got to do is go to class and show up and then everything is taken care of

for everything is kind of taken care of and that's kind of what happened in my situation and in most young kids situations but you know it is what it is and uh even when i go speak now is to make the the kid aware that you're not really getting over on a program yeah you're actually being used and at a college with so many people who's educated uh you should be i'll tell you i did i did a story this one less miles was down in um lsu so at that time leonard fournette was there and uh i asked leonard fournette you know what did he want to become and he said you know i want to become a um a physical trainer i said you know you're a motherfucking liar right

by the way the fact that you're a motherfucking liar, right? By the way, the fact that you're just willing to say that to Leonard Fournette, who has looked like a 50-year-old man since he was 12, is insane. No, but I really said it. And just to have, like, you know, because you can't unsee, you cannot hear. And so I said, Les Miles, would you put your kids in the same classes that you put your star athletes in? And he had like a dumb ass look on his face. But it was a serious question, I said, because you're purposely miseducating people. And so even if these guys couldn't qualify, and I say this

everywhere I go, I speak towards administration, athletic directors, whoever, it doesn't matter. Even if these guys are not prepared academically, well, let's set it up and say, okay, you read on an eighth grade level right now, but you perform very well. Let me bring you to a 12th grade level by the time you're here. You'll have kids. You'll have a wife. You'll represent our university. Let me improve the core person of who you are. So that's the conversation that should be had.

Like me going to women's studies or me going to African American studies or me going to these bullshit classes does nothing for me as a human being. You know what I'm saying? And so these are the things I'll talk about. It's real. I have a lot of teammates that their schooling in high school

was non-existent. They were just getting pushed through strictly because they were such good athletes it was like we can't have these kids fail because then they won't have a chance to go to college and change their life so they just get pushed through and then when they get to college same thing that athletic coaching education thing's a real thing and then the only hope is you make it to the nfl if you don't make it yeah only two percent of people make it to the nfl if you don't make the nfl your only 2% of people make it to the NFL. If you don't make it to the NFL, your entire rest of your life is fucked. You got nothing. Cause you can't, most

of the guys, like whenever these wonderlick scores come out and they're like, Oh, this guy scored a four. I was like, that guy can't read. So we should, let's not that guy great at football. But the reason why you got a four is because he can't read. And he's probably about a semester away from getting a degree from that college, too. So let's go ahead and think about that. I think you're doing, like, incredible work for the community whenever you push that. And also, don't you think, hey, hell yeah, I think you're doing great work, Maurice. I've said this. If you're, I've said this on numerous occasions. Somebody else said it. They got a lot more pub out of it, but it's what I'm here for. More ideas will come.

People can take them all the time. There should be like a professional athlete major or like a life major that college athletes can get that teach you how to do taxes, that teach you how to do your bills, that teach you how to read if you can't read, that teach you how to be a great husband, that teach you how to all these things. That is something that should happen. And if we really care at all about people, I think that's something that should happen, honestly. Yeah. And I'll say this, man, just like, think about this. People would know me in Columbus, Ohio, in America for five, right? And so some of these athletes are some of the most notable people

from their communities. Hell yeah. The most notable. And you know, what is, if the greatest thing you can do is take a camp back to your community after going to college, you've kind of failed yourself. You know what I'm saying? So most of these guys, when they're done playing football, they'll say, Hey, you know, let me throw a camp and let me entertain people even more. And I say, nah, that's not really the goal. When you've been around an elite university, you've been around boosters and business owners and you have social equity, you know what I'm saying? And so like, these are the conversations I try to have with these young guys. And so now you're not just getting pushed through a system and falling out, and, you know, you're just a piece of shit.

And I'll tell you honestly, right, that's where the drinking comes from because you're depressed, you're stressed, you're scared to go out in public, you can't communicate very well. And I'm just bringing up the conversation for guys who may not be, like, have the courage to say it. Yeah, because there's real fulfillment in that type of stuff and when you don't have any fulfillment you fall back on everything else you fall back on everything else and I'll just keep on I'll push this conversation my life only changed it didn't change for something like you know hocus pocus reason to change from fucking reading you know I mean it changed from when I

was in prison I fucking ran every day I I did book reports, The Economist, Fortune, Forbes, anything I can possibly. And won basketball championships. Jesus. Yeah, but that's, you know, that's it. That's that's how you fucking change yourself is the information you consume. Now we have the Internet. Now you consume new stuff and then, you know, you become a new person and you start to figure out who you are and how you can launch who you are from the platform that you have. And so hopefully an ex-athlete hears this and it pops in their brain and says,

hey, either I'm fucking working on audio books, I'm working on a physical book. I just got excited. My girl just gave me a book before I came here, so I can't wait to dig into that. But that's the shit that changes you. You know what I'm saying? I know we're entertaining ourselves here. I feel bad because... No, no, listen. This incredible stuff this is this is incredible

this is last night last night i got like 50 beers thrown at me to chug and tonight i feel like i'm learning so much about the world i mean i did chug a bottle of wine earlier and a seven dollar beer from the alcoholic kid down here that should be calling me later. But Maurice, I can't, when I say this, I mean it. Tonight's conversation exceeded my expectations. You choosing to come here is absolutely incredible. And from myself and all of these people, thank you so much for everything you're doing for the world. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time,

Maurice Courette. Hey, that was awesome. So when I was showering with a dude, I don't know how you follow that. Maurice, that was amazing, man. I can't thank you enough for doing that. You're doing literally the Lord's work, dude. You're the best. I have no idea what to fucking do right now.

Hey, that's for real. That's not just... That guy literally... He's a saint. There's 140 employees. I would kill myself. Honestly, I'll wake up in the morning and get a text message from one of these guys and i'm like where the fuck am i their boss he's changing the

world one step at a time i can't thank him enough for stopping by his lady's awesome his brother is great maurice claret's a living legend I learned so much there man Whenever we were sitting on stage with him It's very difficult Whenever Because right before I brought him out there I introduced all of you But right before that

I did like an hour long stand up comedy set Right? Where I'm telling stories About doing dumb things And the crowd is having a good time And the people that came out to our shows Were the greatest humans on earth That was awesome On earth earth greatest humans on earth i cannot wait to get to detroit iowa and minnesota to reschedule those shows because we had so much fun and i i think

i speak for everybody there oh yeah absolutely this was an awesome weekend because the people that listen to our shows are the people that are the backbone of this entire operation for sure they really are i mean the backbone of this entire operation. For sure. They really are. I mean, the backbone of this entire operation are the people. So to get out there and get a chance to really see people and meet people and chat with people and feel the love was awesome for me. I think I speak for everyone. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

Todd, you've done a lot of shows. How would you compare these podcast shows that we did the last couple of nights to other shows that you've seen or done? I have more fun on these shows. How come? Because because of the variety like you said uh i get to watch your stand-up we had a chance to do to be funny and then to have these interesting guests come in and learn about them and mix it up and see them have a good time intermixed with something that at least in maurice's case he really hadn't done before like that was that's incredible to me i agree the way he explained to us how he felt during it afterward made it all worth it the way the fans reacted during the show and after made it all worth it

to watch everybody that i work with every day shine in their own moment made it absolutely worth it i love it i love it so much i agree i had like a proud dad moment whenever and i'm not older than most of you so it is a is an interesting thing but whenever i would bring you guys out onto the stage and it was like all right here's your time to almost listen to people saying thanks for everything that you've done that was so cool to me and to watch you guys battle your fears which not every some people had some real fears of speaking in public i think it was a really cool thing maurice claret said that whenever he was standing side stage and he was about to come in he said he had the same feeling as if it was about to be a game again like all

this pent-up energy and i want to know was it like that for you guys as well? Yeah, so the first night in Pittsburgh was a real nervousness, I think, because I have never been on stage before. But then once you do that, the second and third night was more of an excited nervousness like you got before you were playing a game. It's just like, I don't know, there was no way, there's no real way to describe it unless you do it like walking out there and you are in front of like literally the greatest fans on earth yeah and then you make it you made it so

easy for us because you literally have them eating out of your hands out of your palms after an hour of stand-up and then we go out there and just have to do a minute of our just dumb bullshit and luckily people people like us for some reason it seems like and it was it was one it was definitely one of the cooler experiences of my entire life. It is. For sure. It is so interesting because everywhere we went, they were like, okay, what time does the opener go out?

And I was like, there is no opener. It's like, so what's happening? I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to go out there at 7 o'clock. And what's the run of show? I was like, I don't know. I'm going to stay out like 30, 45, maybe an hour. I don't know. And then the boys are going to come out and then we'll have have a guest it would be a lot easier if you gave us a runner

show well i have no idea how much i'm gonna be feeling i don't know i don't know i'm sorry but it was i absolutely man uh we should probably do that more often todd we had a late night ride home we were supposed to stop by brothers in columbus directly afterwards we had another fucking van issue we almost ran out of gas we almost had a real situation in the middle of columbus at about midnight so we apologize for not being able to stop at uh at brothers we'll have to make it back for that for sure um but i todd and i were talking i i think we should do more of those i think we should do more of those. I think we should do more of those. They're very fun. The act of just surprising the shit out of the audience with who the guest is going to be,

you don't get a lot of moments like that anymore, I don't think. Ty, every time you came out, I was always very excited for what you were going to potentially say. The John Gruden went over everywhere, by the way. John Gruden's loved everywhere. I was, I don't know, it was weird. It was kind of like Diggs was saying. I was almost tearing up before I went out.

I'd get this big swell of pride almost. It's like, obviously everyone's a fan of Pat and what we do, and then just kind of by proxy us. It's like, Jesus Christ, there's no reason people should be going apeshit like this for me, but it's, I don't know. It was just awesome. And yeah, like, uh, Columbus more so than any other, because I, I kind of knew who I was going to say, but I was looking for some like deep cuts from Ohio state football. And then we kind of had a little bit of a switch up at the Columbus show. So it was like, okay, get your shit together. Oh yeah. Yeah. I know what you're going to say when you go out. So it was, but it was, it. So it was like, okay, get your shit together. Know what you're going to say when you go out.

But it was. It was like before any kind of sporting event, just like that nervous energy that I haven't felt in a really long time. And it was awesome to get back. Zito, your outfits that you chose to wear on stage were incredible, impeccable. Is that the best you've ever dressed in your entire life? Yeah. I was going to leave the jacket behind,

but I was like, I'm probably going to use this for a future wedding. My wedding, actually. What do you mean, leave behind? Like, just at one of the venues? Just hanging up in a rafters. At one of them, there's a Zito sticker at one of the venues. You didn't freeze. Yeah, I thought I was going to freeze up like B-Rabbit

I didn't though I forget what show it was afterwards You told me that You said I made eye contact with at least four people That's every night I would look at everyone And I would look at them

And then they would look back at me And I was like oh shit I shouldn't be doing this You're allowed to look at people And then I tried doing the middle of the forehead thing and that didn't work out. So the eyes, I just got to close my, I told you I was going to take my contacts off. So I wouldn't lock eyes, yeah.

I could just see eyeballs. It was bad. Because there was some times where there was definitely a time where Zito could have came in with something incredibly stupid to say. And now I'm just thinking about staring at somebody like don't look at me i must was oh is there a show fuck am i a part of this conversation no all right i'm gonna keep looking out it was a cool setup yo i love columbus

because when zito walks out there the entire crowd is screaming and it was so funny. Dude, it's fucking classic, man. Fucking classic. The Zito ad read. There was a live Zito ad read at a couple of the shows. He was pretty good at that one. He did his best one ever. Yeah.

I mean, it wasn't great, but it was better than usual for his standards. It was pretty good in front of a thousand people. Coach Lujols made a couple of appearances out there, Jeffrey Gorman. He said hello. I believe there was a couple of places that mentioned you could potentially be a murderer. We shut them down very quickly. Thanks, guys.

Had you ever been on a stage with a microphone before? Pat? Seriously. Yeah. A ton. You mean like Colts stuff mean i mean like like that sort of yeah but that's not really like the the colt stuff like they're there for the colts you know what i mean they're not there for yeah but but i've done live theater like for for back in

los angeles in my theater group so i was but i mean have you really yeah i mean that those were 100 200 300 venues but they're also coming for a particular play, right? They're not coming for Jeffrey Gorman's brain. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, you're right. That was a new sort of live show that was, yeah, definitely. Yeah, right? Yeah. How'd you feel out there?

Did you enjoy it? Oh, I love it. Love it. That was fun watching. Well, the first night, I stayed away from Diggsie because he was doing a lot of pacing, you know, in the Pittsburgh show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the family's there, and you guys are back home and all that stuff. And, you know, one of my favorite moments from the night, we're baking up there in Pittsburgh.

And, I mean, we're cooking. There's no A.C. in Pittsburgh. Yeah, and I mean cooking like heat, you know. We're cooking like heat, and I'm watching Todd. Todd's got sweat dripping down his head. We found out the heater was on, by the way. Is that right? Yeah, because the door can't close if the heater would turn on,

and we left that door open the whole time. Oh, even better. Great. When did you know this? There was two things on the wall. But, like, when did you know this? Before the show? At the end.

Oh, okay. I thought for sure you just knew that and just didn't tell anyone. He did, for sure. The face that he's making right now is that he found out before the show started and he chose not to say it. Who, me? I read it? No way.

But one last thing about Pittsburgh is, and Diggsie was, you know, his family there and very proud, and he's pacing and everything like that. So we're 10, 15, 20 minutes into our table sit-down, and I lean over to Diggsie and I go, hey, we should go to breakfast tomorrow. And he goes, shut the fuck up. Just kind of take a little bit of the... Diggs told me that. Diggs said, in the middle of the show,

Gorman asked me to go to breakfast tomorrow. That's a hilarious thought to think about, though, just in the middle of a conversation, something's happening, and Gorman's probably like... digs probably thought something very important was right what's up man you got like something i should reference or something like that you want to go to breakfast i hope it's on camera you see the fucking i gave him like a desk oh yeah it was great the fuck are you doing i have trouble sitting still at these shows what do you mean i was i was doing a lot of pacing i don't know before yeah i just you I just wanted to keep my brain moving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously, you wanted to stay listening to the show in case there's something that might be referenced later, all that stuff. And yeah, that's what's beautiful about these shows is we don't know most of what's going to happen. Probably. I mean, we know the structure, and we know who the guest is and all that stuff,

but it's truly a live performance. It's not scripted. Well, it can't be. No, no, no, it's not. Because I've been to a couple of those shows that are scripted, obviously, and you can tell that the people are up on stage. It's all scripted. Usually terrible.

Yeah, and it's bad that's what marie said to us too after yeah if you have any brain at all you can look and you're like oh okay this is scripted line this is scripted line and we very much i very much did not want it to be like that at all i wanted to have natural reactions up there which is probably selfish of me because i wanted to enjoy the shows as well but it was uh it was awesome watching the people operate out there man it was cool no and you even said it on stage in columbus because i don't know if somebody asked about it or not or whatever but but you were like no like you have no idea what we are going to come out and say in front of a crowd and we have never ever done this

before so i can't even imagine like from your perspective of things like oh boy like what the fuck are these assholes going to say when they come out on stage? Well, at the beginning of this Marie's current one, I brought Todd out and, uh, he goes,

uh, the age. That's awesome. Uh, Frankie Moraldo was running the ones and twos for an hour before the show started each night. I got zero complaints, a lot of compliments on the mood that was being set.

So great job with the playlist, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. Just trying to make everyone happy. Gets some energy. Couple great handjob jokes. Couple good mom jokes. That had to.

We know we owe it to the people. And you drank like six bottles of Jameson. Yeah. A lot of people don't know this. Nick's roommate for this trip was Jameson. Well, like you guys said too, the last time I was on stage, I think it was a sixth grade recital

and I was a reindeer. I didn't really have a speaking part. So this one needed a little bit of liquid courage to get out there, but I wrote this in an Instagram post. Pat, I've seen you do this so many times and I got to watch from the side stage. So I got to watch how you handle things and try and learn just the cadence of speaking in front of that many people

and the difference of being in the theater versus like in a comedy club and i i just tried to do my best version of whatever that was and uh i i was uh surprisingly happy with how everything went yeah you should have been man it was It was a good time. You were scared shitless, man. Nick Moraldo was not built to be put in front of a thousand human beings. I thought you did great, man. And also, Nick, you got a pretty good little pop out there a couple of times. There was a Zito chant at one place. It was incredible.

Nick got a good pop. Everybody really got some great ovations from the crowd. Didn't deserve it either. None of us did, honestly. But it was really fun to watch, man. It was really fun to watch. And the way we ended each show was with a Q&A. And it led to some cool spots because we do live in our own bubble here.

Every day we just kind of show up here and live in our own bubble and do our own thing. So we don't really think much from an outsider's perspective and with these shows we got a chance to hear from an outsider's perspective and each evening we ended the show with a q a uh in the two men that were directing the q a uh one was from canada gumpy did you enjoy the time out there bub i think the coolest part for me was because i would came on last so i was with the special guest and to watch shazier pac-man and maurice stand there and hysterically laugh watching you guys and really enjoy the show that was really cool for me

i didn't even think about that yeah i didn't even because i would look over because in cincinnati i had no idea if pac-man was there until i mean you heard until i had no idea if he made it or not if he came because the only message i got from him was i got you and it was like all right i hope so and he did come through and you'll hear from him on thursday you'll hear from shazier on thursday uh those two conversations i when i say this i mean are must listens uh can't wait for you guys to hear that we've been going through all of our footage right now we would have put more today but we gotta fucking cut up everything because there's a lot of filming i didn't even

think about them like maurice claret had no idea what i what he was showing up at i don't think just like pac-man and shazier i don't think they had a single clue what they're showing up with shazier came straight out of Toy Story 4. He had no clue that I was doing stand-up. I didn't even think about them watching me do stand-up for the first time ever, probably. Well, I was sitting there talking to Shazier, and I kind of looked around and had a moment. I said, I was painting ships a fucking week ago. I'm sitting here shooting the shit with ryan chaise here like i just

completely surreal man well gumpy you went out in the crowd and then our boy the handsome evan foxy was out there roaming around with the people foxy you got a lot of picture and a lot of love from the folks yeah that's the best part about the whole thing like navigating the crowd is that our fans are the best like they actually are they're so nice got to dap up with all of them you know take a lot of pictures and it just makes it so easy uh we got a chance to do a q a and uh i think you're gonna enjoy it and if they didn't hit any questions that you personally had or something like that no on thursday we got a couple more cities q a's coming with two more incredible incredible interviews the pac-man interview I don't think he does a lot of interviews. I think Pac-Man probably hates a majority of media folks,

so you're not going to hear him talk a lot. I mean, we dove into everything. I mean, some people have some questions in this room here. Oh, Pat, I'm telling you. And when they asked the question, I was like, oh, fuck. Like, hey, I don't know if that's a great question to ask. I was loving it because I was hoping, like, they. Like, hey, I don't know if that's a great question to ask. I was loving it because I was hoping, like, they talk about the airport situation that happened,

and it's like, second question out of your mouth. Okay, let's go back. I'm like, yes, here we go. I had to know about it. We asked Pac-Man, and this is coming on Thursday, we asked Pac-Man everything you'd ever wanted to ask Pac-Man Jones. I mean, literally everything. He asked Pac-Man everything you'd ever wanted to ask Pac-Man Jones. I mean, literally everything.

And I knew Pac-Man A was going to be proud of that airport fight, by the way, because he was the innocent guy. He was honestly attacked. He came fresh out of a fucking airport. He was holding chicken, and he knocked a fucking guy out. And to hear his side of the story, I think you're going to enjoy a lot. I'm very thankful that, I mean, Maurice Claret, I mean, he just opened up to us right there in front of a thousand people in a comedic setting

was able to be inspiring and entertaining. Well, you're going to hear from Shazier, same exact fucking thing on Thursday. These people weren't, by the way, they're not entertainers. These people weren't supposed to go in front of thousands of people and talk like they did i'm so thankful to them i owe them forever and for the people that asked questions and got us to open up about stuff that we might not always open up about i'm very thankful ladies and gentlemen a little q a with the beautiful people of columbus if we come to a city please come fucks with us

we have a good time and we try to we try to make it the greatest night of your life. Honestly, that is our only goal, our only mission. And then we hop in vans that we almost couldn't get because Zito crashed fucking our vehicle. And then we keep it moving. This Q&A in Columbus, Ohio is brought to you by the Dollar Shave Club. You know those times when every day feels the same? Like you're on autopilot, wasting away? How you're so caught up in your routine that you forget to take care of you? Well, Dollar Shave Club makes it easy

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It was a funny scene before we get to this Q&A. There was a very intoxicated guy at every show, but in the Columbus, Ohio one, there was this very, very intoxicated guy who early was doing OHIOs, OHIO, OHIO, and it got to the point where the audience started policing themselves in all the places. Which was great.

But with the O-H-I-O guy, it was like they hated that guy. But they, as the cult, they had to say it. You know, like this guy, like the 40th time, he was like, O-H! And everybody was like, I-O, shut the fuck up! That was a lot of fun Q&A the way we've been wrapping this up because podcasts and internet

relationships between listeners and humans is a much different one it's much more intimate it's as if we're hanging out with you whenever you guys are listening to us we're either at your jobs or in your house or when you're fornicating with your ladies, which is It's a real thing. Really awesome.

We get videos of people listening to us while doing sex and that's a very Congrats, by the way. We have thought about introducing a segment for when listeners would like to fuck, but we haven't figured out the best part yet.

No. It was almost me and Todd just singing and humming into the microphone. The old Howard Stern bit. But whenever we were looking around about how these live podcasts normally go, normally you come out, chit-chat, record a podcast, have a guest,

and then they said that the part that is really going to hit home is the Q&A part of the show. Because people have questions that we might not think of living in our own bubble. So we would like to do a Q&A. We'll bring up the house lights here. Oh, you motherfuckers look good, by the way. Where's that asshole at?

He's gone. He left. He left? O-H! Hey, we did good getting that guy out of here. But a guy who is going to make the rounds here with a microphone was one of our most loyal listeners.

He paints ships in Canada. We can't get him to become a citizen because honestly, it's very difficult, not just from the southern border we learned. Ladies and gentlemen, Gumpy. Atta boy.

Atta boy, Gumpy. You see the Canada flag guy here. You see the Canada guy here. You'll go out there with the microphone. You raise your hand, Gumpy will find you. Also, right back there, leaning handsomely, the thin, the bearded, the man who's been with me literally since

day one of this whole thing, Mr. Evan Fox. Fox, hey! All right, Gumpy, do your thing, buddy. Gumpy, by the way, the only guy wearing a Canada shirt in this building is right here in the front row. And when Maurice Claret was literally delivering a sermon of beauty, like it was one of the most inspirational, motivational things I've ever heard come out of anybody's mouth. We're talking about all the big time speakers on the internet.

The Canadian guy just fucking threw his beer on the ground right right in the middle of the thing oh it's your spitter i'm sorry he's coming out for it dumped are you coming out here for the q a i got my prison football that's my team did you guys have jerseys? I sent it to you on Twitter. I will tweet that immediately after. That's incredible. They have actual uniforms.

Not prison. Hey, that's awesome, Maurice. Thank you for coming back out here, by the way, for the Q&A. You did not have to do this at all. So if you have a question for me or for anybody, please do it. I think Gumpy, are you with somebody right now? Hold on, you've got to turn on the microphone. Hello. It's on.

Here we go. First question of the night. Make it count. What's your name? Where are you from? My name is Colton Eggner. I'm from Bluefield, West Virginia. Let's go, Mountaineers.

Let's go, Mountaineers. Hey, down there, West Virginia. My question's for Zito. What is your personal favorite Zito? It has to be Cigar Zito right now. He has a cool jacket right now. I have to pick Cigar Z for sure. He's my favorite as well, by the way. Heels eats the worst because he gets his big ego and he stumbles all over his words and he doesn't sleep. Cigars eat his guy that somebody really cares about. Foxy, where you at? I'm in the back, right in the middle. Alright, who you got?

I got, uh, what's your name? Where you from? Justin, let's go. From Athens, Ohio. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Justin, it's not your fault. Foxy literally said, what's your name?, hold on. Justin, it's not your fault. Foxy literally said, what's your name? Where are you from?

Justin, let's go. My brain was scrambled. Let me tell you why. Why? You know OH guy? Yeah. That ruined the entire show? Yeah.

I feel like a snitch right now, and I feel so bad for the venue, and I'm telling all of you guys as a warning, there's a big pile of puke back here. There's a big pile of puke. We need to get him to the end zone. Hey, I'll be a snitch too. It's this guy that's passed the fuck out right here.

Don't worry about that. Wait, look who he is. That dude's passed out. He's a pub member. He's a pub member. He's a pub member! Oh, what a surprise. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hey, make sure you're... I'm going to pee. Let's go, pub! Let's go. Let's go Man I was so excited right there God damn it Hey Maurice

You think you guys would have let me on your basketball team With that fucking agility Sorry about that We got you Alright so my question is for Gorman You're somebody that's worked For BMI for a few months now Sorry about that. We got you. All right. All right, so my question's for Gorman. You're somebody that's worked for PMI for a few months now, but you've done everything from any end of the spectrum. What would be your, what's your favorite job of all time,

other than this one, obviously? Oh, I enjoyed my time with the Colts. That's a lot of fun. But I think I did, and they're bad. I mean, I did nine movies. I mean, they're awful. I mean, no, no, no, no. I mean, like my big break was a three picture deal with the sci-fi network, you know, and I shot them in Bulgaria, you know, I mean, it was in Romania, in Czechoslovakia, you know, on a, on a shoestring budget. But I think that was the funnest because the guy I was working with just said,

hey, if you want to tweak this, tweak that, go ahead. And they – it was great being an actor because all I had to do was show up and everybody, you know, they treated you, you know, like a – Go on. Great answer. I liked the way that, but it wasn't fulfilling enough because it was long

and I like instant gratification and, you know, I mean, so... He just gets buried on a daily basis with us, though, is what he's trying to say. When he was an actor for these terrible movies, he had a fluffer, the whole thing, and then when he shows up at our office, it's just he gets buried on like a daily basis.

Is that not right? Yeah, that was fun. But, but I'm just saying is this, you know, I'm, I'm 50 years old. So I said at,

at 20 and, and you know, I want to do as much stuff as I can. I want to go out and, and try different things, you know, and, and I've got an opportunity to do that.

And, you know, I'm a gypsy. I, I, I, I, who knows what,

what's down the pipe. Ah, look at you learning. Look at him learning. But no, that was fun. who knows what what's down the pipe Look at you learning! Look at him learning! But that was fun I got to travel so I would say yeah being an you know I I shouldn't say this but an actor but yeah that was that was a lot of fun and then it became boring Gumpy who you got?

What's your name where you from? Travis from Cleveland, Ohio Okay alright Let's go brownies down here Bumpy, who you got? What's your name? Where are you from? Travis from Cleveland, Ohio. Okay. All right. Let's go Brownies, diner. All right. We got Udo Beckham Jr.

So the first thing I want to say is my first Buckeye memory was Maurice Cloret. I was eight years old, 2002 National Championship, when you stripped the ball back after the interception. Yeah. That was one of my favorite memories. Hell yeah. I appreciate that. So, my questions for Pat. Okay, so played football up the road

at a D2 school at Ashland and I was the quarterback and I was the holder also. Just curious why he's not on the For the Brand anywhere on here. I held a lot of balls. You did too. I was just wondering where the love was for that. Held a couple game winners. You did too. I was just wondering where the love was for that. Held a couple game winners.

Oh my God, that is 100% true. If you look closely on the O there, there's a holder right there. It's the same color as the shirt. We wanted to blend it in because the job of the holder, as you know, is just not get noticed.

For me, for instance, the first time I got to play in the NFL, first game, I'll never forget it. I had never punted really in a game before in the NFL style. People are like, what are you nervous for? What are you nervous for? Is it for the punting? I'm like, no, no, no. I'm nervous as fuck to hold Adam Vinatieri's balls tomorrow. Because if Adam misses, everybody on earth knows it's not Adam Vinatieri's fault.

That is 100% my fault. And I was 22 years old at the time with long hair, a little bit of a sketchy record at West Virginia getting drunk and missing game winners. Everybody would know that it was my fault. So I have a lot of respect for you being a holder, and it will be something that we'll work on for the brand. Appreciate you, man.

Who you got, Foxy? What's your name? Where are you from, sir? My name's Jordan. I'm from Toledo, Ohio. My question's for Pat. What's the worst advice you've ever gotten? Good question. Normally, it's two words, and it's almost everywhere I go. Chug it. It's normally, I mean, all of my troubles, if you date back to my entire life, all start and end with those two words. From random people, whether it's professional athletes like Peyton Manning, whenever I'm at a Texas roadhouse in Anderson, Indiana, where our training camp is, and some local guy who definitely has no job is lining up against me at a table,

and Peyton walks over and goes, this guy says he's the best chugger in Anderson. What I need you to do is bury this fucking guy. I'm like, Peyton, we got practice practice tomorrow We're in the middle of training camp He goes Chug it You got it bub Or the hundred shots of tequila That I ordered on that particular Tuesday

That ended up in an alleged event And it cost me only Forty thousand dollars cash From Bill Polian. But those NFL fines, you're goddamn right, I've been donating a long time. Are they

write-off for you? No, the NFL gets to write them off. We don't, all because of fucking Gorman and Ursae. Who's next? Right here. What's your name? Where are you from? Holy shit, You're here with... Are you a fan? Yes.

Okay. Hold on. Real quick. We had a black guy ask a question. Huge. Huge. Now we have an older lady. This is awesome. What do you mean older? You're older than 20.

You are older. Lady, you're not a day over 39, but you knew what I meant. I can't thank you enough for coming and being a fan of ours. You're the best. What's your question? My name is Teresa, and I'm from Austin, Indiana. I didn't know if you were aware of it or not,

but there's also a celebrity in your audience. Say what? My son is the creator of your Friday bangers. Uncle Sam! Yeah! Uncle Sam! Yeah! Uncle Sam! It's the end of the week.

You already know what that means. Hey, Uncle Sam, I fucking love you, man. Two Ks. Uncle Sam, you brought your mom here. This is awesome. Who introduced who to the show? Therese, you introduced Uncle Sam, you brought your mom here. This is awesome. Who introduced who to the show? Therese, you introduced Uncle Sam to the show? And then...

That's a whole fucking family affair. Nice. Cheers to the Uncle Sam family. We're so thankful for you. And I know, Mom, you won't be back at any other shows, but it was fun you being here today. My mom isn't even a fan, so I appreciate that. Zito's mom is my biggest fan.

Oh, come on. She didn't deserve it. Gumpy, who you got? What's your name where you from Chris from Tampa Florida Oh what Did you go Flew in Friday for the show today

Oh man Thanks for coming in, man. So Willie Nelson's in town tonight. Any vitamins? You going to hit him up? I'm going to text Willie after the show. I am. Like when Pac-Man showed up last night,

the entire theater literally just lit up with Christmas trees, you know? And that was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life. When Pac walked up to me, he was like, what up, man? I still got some of that baseball left you want to, or baseball bat left you want to go to? And I'm like, I'm trying my best

to get the vitamins out of me right now. He was like, some good shit? And I was like, alright, let's go do it, Pac-Man. Could you imagine smoking with Pac-Man Jones on Saturday and then Willie Nelson on his side? What a fucking week. No offense, Maurice.

This is like that guilty conscience of Eminem and Dr. Dre right now. Fuck that shit. Smoke that bitch. But if you have a connect for Willie Nelson, I would love that. Foxy, where you at? All the way in the top deck, Pat.

Hey, okay, up there with the peoples. What's your name? Where are you from? I'm Taylor Johnson. I'm from Chillicothe, Ohio. Okay, Chillicothe. My question is for Maurice. Here we go.

As a fellow Bronco fan, I want to know who, while you were going through your troubles with the Broncos during training camp, who took you under, did anybody try to take you under their wing and help you along? Yeah, it was just three people, really. I was, if you all remember, I was number 20 and Jerry Rice was number 19. So we had lockers next to each other. And Jerry would try to talk to me and also John Lynch. Remember John Lynch?

Yeah, he's GM now. Yeah, for the Niners. Yes, sir. Yeah, so they definitely tried to help me. But at that time, I was just resistant to help. You know what I'm saying? So the Broncos did everything that they were supposed to do to try to help me and put a supportive network.

But I was just a young guy being the young guy. Was that – McDaniels wasn't there then, right? No, it was Shanahan. So it was Shanahan and Bobby Turner, or Tucker, was the running back's coach. And, you know, I just had to put it like this. After two years – so think about this. I lived in L.A. for two years. And so L.A. within itself is L.A. You know what I'm saying?

And so I went from L.A. you know, coming in the house at 6 and 7 in the morning to football. You gotta wake up at 6 and 7 in the morning. And so, this wasn't working. Yeah, it sounds like that's a recipe. Did Shanahan have a tanning bed in his

office? Thanks. Serious question. Gumpy, where you at? Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Hey, that guy just woke up again, bro. Welcome back. He's awake. My name's Ron. I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We had a show there Friday. Well, I live here now, so I'm originally from there.

I've got a question for you, Pat. We have a Pat McAfee show 2.0 now, Heartland Radio 2.0. Are we going to get a Grote 2.0? And will the winner attend your wedding? Let's write that down. It. Not a bad question. Let's write that down. It's not a bad question. That sounds like a great idea, actually.

Yeah. That groat, that groat thing, I wish people would have been there for the conception of that. What happens whenever we work, and that's such an interesting way to describe it, everybody has seen our office. There's a basketball court in there.

There's studios in there. And we all just kind of walk in. I wouldn't say I'm a hard person to work for, but it has to be tiring because I'll walk in one day and just be like, you know what? We should write a movie today. And everybody's like, just

like right now? Like, yeah, I think we're going to write a movie right now. All right. I'll put away everything I, I think we're going to write a movie right now. All right. I'll put away everything I was going to fucking do today to write a movie for you. And it's kind of the way everything goes. And when this baseball thing came to be, the Washington Wild things, they were like, would you like to have a bobblehead night for you?

I was like, no. I'd play, though. If you let me play, I'd play. They're like, what do you mean? I was like, I want to like play. They're like, you could throw out the first pitch. I'm like, no, no, I want to be on the field. They're like, I think we can work a way for you to maybe like get in that bat. I was like, yeah, yeah, but also defense too. And they were like, well, I'm not sure that's possible. I was like, well, get back to me if it is. And then like a week later, I get an email that's like, all right, how's this sound? You start at right field.

You play seven innings. You get three at bats. You can film the whole thing. You can even be mic'd up for the whole thing. Is that something you'd want to do? I'm like, boys! Boys, come here. I think they're going to let me fucking play the entire game.

And every day, these things that just pop up out of nowhere, they're the most ridiculous thoughts in history. Like, they seem to just happen at our office, and that was one of them. So we record the entire game. Yeah, that's a real thing, yeah. That's a real thing, Maurice, yeah. And then the groat is the greatest raffle of all time.

We raffled off everything. So whenever we filmed it, first of all, it was supposed to be a live event on Twitter. So like Twitter bought the rights to it. It was supposed to be live on Twitter. Like Twitter was going to put it up at the top of the app where it's like,

watch this guy who has literally never played baseball a day in his life before start at right field for a fucking AAA baseball team and stare down a 95 mile an hour fastball three times like it was going to be an entire thing then that kind of got lost then it was supposed to be sponsored by a company then a day before that the sponsorship got pulled out somehow ended up somewhere else so then we're like all right we'll just film it

we'll just film it all and we'll see what can happen. So as we're going through the footage, we're all dying laughing during the footage because I have a fucking earpiece in. And I got Diggs and Todd talking to me during the game. And I'm sitting out in right field. I'm like, Todd played baseball his entire life. So did Ty. I'm like, where the fuck am I supposed to be standing? They're like, move to your right just a little bit. I'm like, all right.

And then a ball would get hit. They're like, move to your right just a little bit. I'm like, all right. And then a ball would get hit. They're like, Pat, that's coming right at you. I'm like, oh, fuck. So then I make a catch. I make a play. We start going through the footage. We're like, I think we can make a little documentary out of this thing. They're like, yeah, let's do that.

So then we take one day. We make a documentary out of it. I'm like, now what the fuck are we going to do with it? They're like, well, sell it, you fucking idiot. I'm like, that's what we'll do. But I didn't think it was good enough to actually sell. So what we decided was, well, anybody that decides to buy this fucking stupid thing,

we got to enter them into a raffle. What's the raffle going to be for? So then I sent a text message to all of our sponsors. I was like, here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to sell this thing. If anybody's dumb enough to buy it, is there any way we can get them to potentially win, I don't know, World Series tickets?

And Ian from SeatGeek was like, how I don't know, World Series tickets. And Ian from SeatGeek was like, how about Super Bowl tickets, World Series tickets, WrestleMania tickets, and even Stanley Cup tickets? I'm like, yeah, yeah, that sounds good to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds good. So then now that that precedent was sent, I called all the other sponsors. I was like, listen, how much do you like us? Because SeatGeek's given us four fucking things Lisa gave away a mattress and then my bookie who we were working with at the time no longer, bad company by the way

should have done more research that's on me, they gave away like $10,000, it was like, it just started stacking on top of each other, and we're like well what are we going to call this thing? And I was like, well this was the greatest raffle of all time, and I think Ty was like groat, bingo that's what we're fucking doing, I was like, well, what are we going to call this thing? And I was like, well, this was the greatest raffle of all time. And I think Ty was like, groat, bingo. That's what we're fucking doing. I was like, all right, here we go.

And then we put it up for sale two days later. It wasn't like there was a lot of planning. Like everything comes together within 72 hours, the way we operate. And it doesn't always come out right, but that groat was one of the things I'm most proud of. And my on-base percentage, 333 for the rest of my life 333 huge huge great q a great to hear from the people absolutely loved it because the q a was whenever they turned up the house lights too which means we could see the audience so we actually got

a chance to see everybody that came out and fucked with us uh and this was obviously our last night we drove home directly afterwards, almost ran out of gas, like I referred to earlier, got home, and the one thing that I looked forward to the most that entire trip home, and I think we talked about it on a regular basis, was our beds. And at about 2.30, 3 a.m. when we got home Monday morning after Columbus,

I did one of those run movie jumps right into my Lisa mattress. Wham! Right in there. Put my head down on the two free pillows that they're sending out and slept like an absolute baby. Right now at Lisa.com forward slash McAfee, you can get 10% off your order and two free pillows. And when I say this, I mean this.

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That bed will arrive at your door in a box. But Ty, I don't want my mattress to arrive in a box. That seems like it's difficult. No, it's not. It actually inflates in about two minutes. Oh, wow. So you're telling me you just dragged that box, which is surprisingly not as heavy as you would think.

Correct. Easy to manage. Easy to manage. Right into your bedroom. You take the box off. You cut the plastic bag off and... Boom. Inflates on its own. Best bed you've ever had in your entire life. Bar none. Bar none. Get 10% off right now and two free pillows.

L-E-E-S-A dot com forward slash McAfee. Let's get back to this Q&A and have a good time. All right, we'll take two more questions here. Foxy, where you at? I'm with a guy that has a McAfee 2020 tank top on. I didn't even know we sold these things. What's your name? Where are you from? Hey, my name is Lucas Barrett. And about a month ago, I tweeted a video of myself eating a goddamn

fortune cookie. And the one and only retweeted me. And the fortune cookie said an influencer will support me. And God damn it. I'm here talking in front of God damn Pat McAfee. I am not supporting you. Was there a question? But my question is for Todd, all right? I am the Marine Corps recruiter out of Newark. So my question for you, Todd, is what is the funniest memory? Ooh, Rob!

Ooh, Rob! There you go? Ooh, Rob! Ooh, Rob! There you go. Ooh, Rob! Todd, what is the funniest memory that you have from the Corps, my man? Funniest memory I have from the Marine Corps? Probably, all right, so during the Gulf War, like the first Gulf War, like not the first one. There were a lot before that one. If you read the Bible, but like the first one we were in.

Yeah, he sent me to Norway. Yeah, he sent me to Norway I guess in case Saddam Hussein Decided to pull like a sneak attack From real far north To come forward So we were there in Norway And basically it was like 60 below zero with gale force winds

Every night, right? The whole thing was to play war games For two months And I guess in case something ever happened. I guess Russia's real close to there. Whatever. So Russia could see we could get a bunch of people together real fast and carry rifles around, right? By the way, so cold, 60 below zero.

They didn't give us real bullets. If they had, I would have declared war myself, like me against Norway. That fucking cold. So there was... I just wanted to kill everybody. I'm like, I can't, I am freezing right now and it won't stop.

So... Hey, Norway, by the way, we're at war now. I probably could have won. I mean, to be honest, it's Norway, but... They did not deserve that. Norway did not deserve that.

So my job was strictly to to do guard duty right stand outside and then when people would come in to the to the access the air for the air part of the base um they would give us a challenge password situation if they pass they go through right so i'm sitting there freezing it was just us and a norwegian guard and they always wanted to have these conversations with us. They had so many questions. Well, one guy, he thought he knew it all. He was real Americanized. His name was Christian.

And he came up bragging in front of all these buddies. He's like, yeah, yeah, well, one don't more American cuss words than you do. And I was like, oh, yeah? He's like, yeah, don't mean any cuss word. I know what it is. I know what it means. And I was like, all right, I'll bet you dinner tonight. And he's like, yeah, don't mean any cuss word. I know what it is. I know what it means. And I was like, I'll bet you dinner tonight. And he's like, okay.

So I said, clusterfuck. And he was like, what means clusterfuck? So I was like, you got to figure that out. As soon as you do, I'll buy you that dinner. So he's trying to figure it out the whole time we're there. Every time we pass Christian, we march into the chow hall or whatever. He's like, McComas, clusterfuck yourself. I'm like, that ain't it, bro.

Yeah. That's my fondest memory of the Marine Corps. Ooh, bro. Ooh, bro. Ooh, bro. We won twice. We won again. I'll tell you what, I was never a Marine. But it felt like I was potentially. Oh yeah, you got a good one.

I felt good there. Alright, last one. Let's make it great. Last question of the night. Let's go. Hey, by the way, if it sucks, we'll go for another one. All right, my name's Ivan Canfield. Oh, Ivan, I love this man. Ivan, listen, before you even get going, Ivan. My entire post-NFL career has been built off of Twitter. I think we can all agree with that, right? Everything I've ever done has been built off of Twitter.

I think we can all agree with that, right? Everything I've ever done has been built off of Twitter. 140 characters back in my day. I had to really cut down words. I had to, you're, you are,

I had to do it all. I've battled through those days, uphills, both ways for all of Twitter, zero help from ESPN or any of these people. They hated me because I used words like F-U-K because I didn't have enough characters. So I had to build my Twitter,

and I had a great army that was getting behind me, and I was very thankful for everybody that followed me. And as we continued to grow like a snowball rolling down hills, people had no idea what was going to happen. Each weekend I would give away tickets to Colts games and it would trend number one globally every single fucking weekend. Every single time. It was before Twitter changed their algorithm. So all I would say is like, what's my mom's favorite food?

And it would be an ungoogleable question. And I would ask like, must use hashtag Sally likes that shit and then within seven minutes like within seven minutes on a random Saturday night hashtag Sally likes that shit would be trending worldwide I would have like Japanese answers Chinese answers people would be tweeting me in Portuguese it was insane it was awesome and there was this one particular week when Griff Whalen snapped a football to Colt Anderson against the New England Patriots yeah take it easy so he was the worst center in history right griff whalen worst center in nfl history

it'll go down as one of the worst football plays ever and i just so happen to have my name plastered right at the bottom of the screen like pat mcafee into punt it's like well this wasn't a punt can we please rip my name off of that fucking graphic but it happens right and there was a miscommunication between coaches and players and Griff Whalen was taking the blame for all of it like everybody on earth was laughing at Griff Whalen and it wasn't Griff Whalen's fault it was just a classic miscommunication so I went on a show called Bob and Tom which I absolutely loved those people they gave me the start and I told the whole story about how it was a miscommunication and it could have been a coach's fault and not Griff's fault. So the next morning, Mike Golick on his radio show

has this entire bout about how I'm a punter and I shouldn't talk. He's a punter. Nobody should be listening to what this guy's saying. Nobody cares. So that Saturday I was going to give away tickets like I always do. and the hashtag was already ready to go it was going to be r.i.p mike golic so i was going to actually murder mike golic on twitter okay he was going to have to come out and say like i'm not dead there's going to be people that are going to be like man i'll miss mike golic forever like because as soon as that thing trends everybody looks at it you don't do any research you're just like oh my god he's fucking dead let me there would have been a billion tweets like oh i remember when mike gollick screwed me over blah blah blah but he's a good guy and he would have had to come out strictly because of

some punter that shouldn't talk and i was going to get a real good feeling about that. Like I was going to sleep soundly that night. I was excited about it. Colts PR found out about it because Vinatieri was also very excited about it. Vinatieri was telling everybody, he's like, bro, what McAfee's about to do tonight is the most legendary thing on the internet in history. It's in history. So the Colts PR like was like kind of nosing around.

And they come up to me, they're like, are you going to kill Mikellick on the internet i think so man and normally i'd give away two tickets i was gonna give away 10 tickets so like more people would answer you know i was gonna get that thing trended in like a minute and a half i was gonna get that fucker going i wanted people in china to rest in peace mike gollick. I wanted that thing to go. And it never happened because it got stumped out by the PR. They were like crying to me, basically like, I'll lose my job. If you do that, I have kids. I was like, well, fuck. I mean, come on. Let's have a little fun here. But what I'm saying is my Twitter is so incredible. The people that choose to follow me, I'll put a tweet out that is a

terrible tweet. It's a terrible tweet. And it'll get a hundred retweets. It'll get, it'll get like a thousand likes, which don't mean anything. And I promise you the first person that will retweet every single tweet that I put out in the first person that likes every single tweet that I put out is Ivan Canfieldfield that fucking guy right there i don't know what you do for a living i have no idea how you do it but i'll put i'll put a tweet out and before i can even refresh the fucking thing it's like one retweet one like and i'm like oh i wonder who this is it's like ivan canfield and for like the first month i was like this guy's kind of freaking me out a little bit.

But you've stuck with it for so long. I fucking love you, man. You're like my little tag team partner out there. I appreciate that. Now, granted, if you see any naked people in pictures that I tweet, please do not retweet it. We'll see. You get it? Yeah, I got you.

Probably your fault, by the way, that that whole fucking I was like 14 then, so Ivan, I appreciate you though, man Nice to meet you in person What's up? So my question's for the whole panel I also have a McFeed 2020 tank top on underneath this Good plug Thanks

And would any of you seriously consider running for a position of power at all? I would love to see Zito in a position of power. No, you don't. Yeah, I really do. Burn it down. Zito, you think you'd be a good governor?

No. You've got to read all the bills. I would crush his governor. I would sign every single one of them without reading them. I wanted at one point in my life to potentially run for president. Then I watched that House of Cards show. And I was like, there's no way I'd ever want to fucking get in there. Some guy that I did cocaine with once in college would be like,

hey, you remember when you fucking started doing that? You're going to vote against this, aren't you? I'm like, no, well, I got photos of you doing terrible things. I'm like, well, you're right. I don't think it's a good time to be a politician, to be honest. I don't know why anybody would want to do it. Now, granted, the sanctity of the world and shit like that, but after

listening to tonight's show, I would vote for Maurice Claret tomorrow to run. Yes! No! Is that a no for you, Dobe? It's an emphatical no. Todd, how about you, man? You're a military guy.

You are of age to run for president, which I am not yet. Hilarious. I could never do it. There's shit I'm lucky, I guess, that people don't know about. And so I don't want to get any more famous than you've already made me because that shit will come out. Right now, people don't give a fuck enough.

It's like, I'm not going to say nothing yet. He doesn't have enough of a presence. When you become president, everybody wants to give you shit. It is scary because we're at a time now where people would just make shit up, and then it goes and it's gone. And then once it's gone, you can't really resurrect it, right?

I had a chance to be teammates with a guy named Josh McNary when I was at the Indianapolis Colts. He was in the Army, served in the Army. He went to the, what school does the Army people go to? West Point. There it is. He went to West Point. Two years, and then he came and joined the Colts,

and he was a special teamer. He was like my guy, right? He got accused, falsely accused of something, and he got cut from the Colts. He was headline news the entire thing. Went to court, got his name cleared, but you never heard about it again, right? So everything was gone.

But you'll never hear that he was innocent. Like if you search his name now even, it's the only thing that pops up was these accusations for him that were completely lies, right? Just to try to get money out of him. I just don't think now is a good time to get into a position of politics or power.

And to be honest, every morning I wake up scared shitless that Zito pissed somebody off 10 years ago. And I'm gonna have to fucking answer for it. Every morning I wake up, I'm like, all right, Jose Perez, let's search this fucking thing. But it is a scary thing. I'm pretty happy where we're at. But Ty Schmidt, potential great

president. Supreme Court justice, maybe, I'd love to rule with an iron fist. That's what I'm looking at. I'd probably be a shitty president. I'm kind of a fucking prick. But Supreme Court, I could fuck with that.

I don't think you just can fall into the Supreme Court, though. I'm very well-read. So, you know, I'm halfway there. Do you think you could have taken down James Holzhauer in Jeopardy if you had to? Give me like a week and a half on the buzzer to get Trebek's mannerisms, and I think I'd have a shot, yeah. Ty, you're one of the smartest people I've ever been around, and I would love to see you president.

We would be going to war tomorrow with him. Fuck that guy. What do you say? Yeah, Steph Curry's getting a drone strike first. Steph Curry's getting a drone strike. Steph Curry is the first one on his list. Like the happy guy. Yeah.

All right, we'll do one more because that was kind of a serious one. I got one here in the middle, Pat. Yep. What's your name? Where are you from? My name is Kenzie, and I'm from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Back in October, a person named Diggs came into my restaurant, Auburn Buffalo Wild Wings.

Uh-oh! This is what we were just talking about. And, you know, normally on a day-to-day basis, I'm kind of a huge asshole. And I decide to take my shot, you know, shoot my shot like any other person would and try to be a nice person. And I went out to his table, and I said,

hey, man, your meal's on me. And I have never seen somebody look at me so accusatorily as poisoning their fucking food. Oh, wait. And you ruined my one shot to be a nice person. Oh, what? I don't believe in nice people. Exactly.

Nobody gets anything for free no handouts but I tried to turn my life around just like Maurice is talking about right and you ruined it hold on hold on there's two sides to every story was this in that town

up in northern Indiana-ish yeah I was there for a wedding i was black the fuck out so and and so we're after the wedding we go to a b-dubs correct exactly um look at you dicks yeah and this is hold on i invited you back yeah yeah we had a great time. Out of the kindness of my heart. It was my second time at B-dubs that day. I mean, I'm just saying. I'm trying to turn my life around and not be an asshole anymore, and you ruined it. No, no, no. That's not what happened.

That's not what happened. I just perpetually am a pessimistic asshole for the rest of my life. Kenzie, you don't turn your life around by going out with dicks. Nice. True. True. So we went to a wedding. Got drunk went back to buffalo wings you remember like two of every 10 minutes um and then there was a lot of confusion because you came up and you were

like uh the bills paid for and i was like i don't what the fuck is going on here and i didn't understand i thought maybe thought maybe I had already paid the bill or maybe, like, because my girlfriend was thrown up in the bathroom, like, maybe you were just trying to get us out of there. I was drunk. Kenzie, you're a good person. You shouldn't feel bad at all. Yeah, I think you are a good person.

You're a good person, Kenzie. But if I remember correctly, when we got the free bill, I did tip okay, right? No! Ladies and gentlemen, that's the show. I'm joking. What if that was what we ended with? Her saying, no, you tip like shit.

I think she's a liar, to be honest. No, no, no, you bit my shit. I think she's a liar, to be honest. No, no, no. I'm kidding. All right. Hey, Foxy, down here in the front row has been our Gumpy, whoever's closest. Very excited here. Who was that, Gumpy?

Who let her ask that question? Which one? He was rude, wasn't he? Yeah, he was rude. He was not sorry either. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Pat, big West Virginia fan. Went to West Virginia University.

Let's go. Biggest question of the night. All right. Maurice, I love you to death. Watching the bowl games. But, Pat, where is the after party at? Tonight? Yes.

That's the biggest question. I don't think there's anything open in this city. Where? Where? Where? Who? Who? Everywhere.

Everywhere. That's a lie. Sunday night? Sunday night. We've got to go somewhere. We're going to Willie Nelson right after this. Okay, so Brothers on Park Street. After I go take a shit, we'll stop by there.

And then we've got to get back to Indianapolis at some point. So Gumpy will stay sober. No. No way. Oh, yeah, he is actually. He's driving the RV. I will not be in the RV though. I'm going to be in the van.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, tonight has been an absolute blast. I can't thank Maurice Claret for hanging out for this long. You didn't have to at all. You all coming and supporting us is the coolest thing ever. A lot of people ask me why I retired. Honestly, it's so I can do cool shit with cool people, and that's what we've done tonight with you beautiful people here in Columbus.

We can't thank you enough for spending your Sunday night with us. We absolutely love you. We're so, so thankful. Cheers. We'll see you later tonight at Brothers. Have a fucking good one. Shout out to everybody that came out. We can't thank you enough. Thursday's show

from Pittsburgh and Cincinnati with Pac-Man and Shazier is going to be one that you're going to want to hear. Hashtag endgame, hashtag endgame. Send us a game that we should play in the cars the next time. Send us something we should do the next time we're in the car. Send us something we should do

the next time we're in the car. If it makes us all go, yup, should have done that, we will send you some free merch from our brand new merch line by the way that Phil Mayne, CFO Phil, has been working on very hard. I just got a sample of everything we're selling. I didn't even know most of them existed.

I love it. I cannot wait to put them all on new sleeveless hoodies are in new tank tops are in scallop bottoms by the way so they're not just box cut i mean we're really doing it right over there at store.patmcphyshow.com shout out to cfo phil send us ideas for things to do in the cars because we've been driving a lot together and hopefully we'll be doing much more of that from at todd mccomas at digs with a z at nick marado at hay gorman at viva lazito at bubba gumpino at evan foxy and at ty schmidt and everybody else here in our office we can't thank you enough this weekend was so

humbling so honorable and it was just it was awesome I can't thank you enough. We're a very dumb group of people that get taken care of way too well by you beautiful people. And you're the absolute best. Ty Schmidt, hit the music. Thank you. Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down Fight to the end, cause you're locked with the band On the strength that you have inside you

Gotta be proud, standing out in the crowd With the odds in the game by you Try your best to win them all And one day time will tell When you're the one left standing there You've reached the final bell You're the best, oh wow Nothing's gonna ever keep you down

You're the best, oh wow Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best Nothing's gonna ever keep you down Hey, you're the best, alright Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best, all right Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best, all right Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best, all right

Nothing's gonna ever keep you down Fight till you drop You never stop You can't give up until you reach the top Fight, you're the best in town, fight, listen to that sound A little bit of all you've got to never bring you down You're the best around, nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best around, nothing's gonna ever keep you down, cause you're the best around

Nothing's gonna ever keep you down, cause you're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down, cause you're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down, cause you're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. Cause you're the best. Oh, wow. Yeah. Nothing's going to ever keep you down. Cause you're the best.