The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 090 - A Kendo Stick Changed My Life. Also, American Icon, Joey Chestnut

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

On today’s show, Pat breaks down his weekend in Philadelphia for the WWE Watch Along as he is recovering from almost having his back broken in two by a kendo stick strike from WWE legend Matt Hardy. He and the boys also recap the Djokovic vs. Federer Wimbledon final and how tennis is easily forgettable as an incredibly entertaining sport. They also do a deep dive into some more conspiracy theory talk as Pat and the guys talk about people preparing to storm Area 51 and how they think they will fare, and the Bob Lazar documentary about aliens and UFO’s as well as the Joe Rogan interview that Lazar did, and how Pat is still all the way in on other lifeforms being out there. He also explains how he’s so in on the alien movement, that he no longer subscribes to Bigfoot being real and relives his story about going Bigfoot hunting. Pat also looks ahead a little bit as he prepares for a loaded schedule in the fall and what that may entail for him. To close out the show, we reair the Joey Chestnut interview after Kobayashi recently stated in the news that he’s personally seen Chestnut cheat. The interview covers their rivalry, and gives a look behind the curtain at America’s greatest eater (1:57:12-2:29:14). It’s a good one. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We cover sports. A lot of sports talk on this show. A lot of sports talk on this show. A lot of life talk on this show. And then we dive balls deep into conspiracy theories, which one of my favorite things on earth. And we have a replay of an interview from Heartland Radio last week at the end of this thing from Joey Jaws Chestnut, the world's greatest eater.

And this interview may or may not have caused quite an international incident with old kobayashi love it i do love it actually you're gonna want to hear all of this i'm telling you when i say gold is about to spew into your ear holes it's about to happen you don't have to listen to this show you choose to listen to this show will you get dumber from listening to the show possibly but will this be a couple hour mental vacation you're about to embark on absolutely and we're so thankful you're doing it a lot of big news ahead for our boys a lot of big news for you about the team we're so excited you joined us and right around the corner you know what season it is foosball season sports are hot

right now we talk about it all here in a little bit but foosball season's right around the corner and it is the perfect time to buy tickets for a football game as a gift to a loved one a friend a significant other or maybe get a live event ticket maybe it's a theater show which is also a play right those two are the same yeah yeah comedy stand-up comedy maybe a musical act and if you're gonna buy tickets there's if you're going to buy tickets, there's only one ticket platform to buy from, and that's our friends at SeatGeek. SeatGeek is the greatest ticket-buying platform because they scan

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until something incredible happens serena lost that was something that reminded me tennis was a sport that wimbledon was happening and then roger federer is still that dude oh yeah i woke up sunday morning in Philadelphia, ready to go to Extreme Rules. I turned on my television from ESPN the night before, and voila, Roger Federer is still doing what he's been doing for 20-some years. 1998, that dude turned pro. He was 14 or something like that.

Still the man playing against old Djokovic. And in the fourth set, I saw a moment where Djokovic yelled at somebody for slipping on the turf. Federer wanted to score the next 45 points straight. And I was like, Djokovic's mind is in the fucking dumpster. Kid can't handle playing against Roger Federer.

Little did I know, that match was nowhere near over. That match went on for another three hours after that thing. I went over to the arena, filmed a couple things, watched on my phone. Still happening. Longest Wimbledon final of all time. for another three hours after that thing. I went over to the arena, filmed a couple things, watched on my phone, still happening.

Longest Wimbledon final of all time. And while I'm watching it on my phone, there's things happening all around me. I found myself so intrigued to watch it. I forget how good of a sport tennis is until I get to watch very, very fucking good tennis. And I'm like, man, I love that sport. I think that would be a sport I'd enjoy doing on a daily basis, too. And there'm like, man, I love that sport. I think that would be a sport I'd enjoy doing on a daily basis too.

And there's a clip that Foxy found, and I think Roger Federer is going to take this back. Do you train really hard in the offseason? Can you give me any tips, anything you can talk about? No, it's all talent. That don't work. I just sit on the couch. You thought you had something going, right,

that you were one of those, like, with Lendl, that, you know, made us generation work hard. Not with me, anyway. I didn't get inspired. No. All I do is really just take care of the kids. If he trains just a little bit, he probably wins. You can't expect to win the longest Wimbledon final

in the history of Wimbledon finals at the age of 37 and not train. But, man, they put on a hell of a showledon finals at the age of 37 and not trained. But, man, they put on a hell of a show. Hell of a show out there. I loved it. He is not supposed to be this good at this age, right? No, because tennis is one of the sports where you age very quickly. Yes, very, very quickly.

Well, your joints, right? I would assume it has to be hard on the joints because it's very explosive. It's quick. There's a lot of hard. There's a lot of hard. There's a lot of everything. Yes. And I'm watching Federer at 37 as a person who has had joint issues in my life. And I'm watching him in between.

What are those? Bollies, sets, whatever it is. I'm watching him just walk around normally. And I'm like looking at each one of his joints. I'm like, there has to be a little something from his ankle. There has to be something like a a little limp maybe from the knee. Just one step comes up, and it's like, nope, he's fucking clean. And then I look at Joe, and I'm like, man, something has to be wrong with this guy.

He just did a full split after running full speed three hours into this thing. He gets up, he's bouncing. I don't know how they stay so fit, these dudes. The fitness levels of the tennis players is something that I don't think I underestimate the shit out of it. I think the world needs to talk about it a little bit more. That's a five-hour fucking match. Those two are just sprinting back and forth. They're running gassers. Those dudes are running gassers for five hours while playing life-size ping pong.

That's insanity to me. It's a very athletic sport. Incredible. It's easy. It's one of those sports that that used to get made fun of. I did it in high school. People made fun of me if you played tennis. You played tennis in high school?

Yeah. For four years. I know. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. But that's how it was treated.

Me and my best friend had to quit. He was our best running back. And I talked him into quitting football that year to be my doubles partner. Because I didn't want to play number one singles anymore. That's a terrible guy. And a nerd. But we had a good time. But it's very athletic, man.

It is. You talk about quickness. There's so much power involved. And it's finesse, too. I mean, you've got to have finesse. Yes. Power. Touch. Consistency.

It's one of those things that's so hard to appreciate until you try and play it. Yes. And then you're like, oh, this is impossible. I played in one tennis tournament I won in my entire life. Nick was a part of that. Nick was a participant in that tournament. Yeah, you were a professional athlete. I still had never played tennis.

They were playing every weekend. I come home for a weekend playing the tournament. I win. No big deal. Yeah, I had no backhand. I played lefty and righty. I was tossing racket back and forth. You save room.

Yeah. I do that in ping pong, too. Like, if you play me in ping pong, know that my left forehand, also good. So I have two forehands. It's a tough thing. How's the switchover? Just quick? Yeah, you got to have some dexterity.

You got to know that the ball's going over there and just get it over there. And then I got this little half-cock left-hand forehand that is pretty solid. All right, my backhand, let's not get crazy, but if I can get that thing over for another forehand, I will do it 10 times out of 10. And it is awesome to watch the reaction of the other people whenever I do it the first time. What the fuck? Which forehand are we

serving this to? I'm like, yeah, that's up for you to decide. But with tennis, it was hard to keep the serves in. So I think that is the first. They're hitting those 117, 113 miles an hour. Smart of tennis, by the way, to put the miles per hour right there on the corner of the TV. Smart to do that. That is something that baseball started doing.

It makes it much more impressive and everything like that. Sponsored by Rolex as well, right? Yes. Yeah, that's a very wealthy sport. That's a sport we should think about getting into. I would like to cover tennis, I think. I think I'd be a pretty good tennis coverer. Well, it's fun to watch, too. Fun. That's the most underrated part. On TV, it be a pretty good tennis coverer. Well, it's fun to watch, too.

Fun. That's the most underrated part. On TV, it's a very fun game to watch. I have a question. We got lucky. We got lucky, too, because we probably have the three best tennis players of all time have played in our generation. True.

The Dolph, Federer, and Djokovic. So we got lucky watching it. I can't even imagine what it was like before. Right. With the wooden rackets. Whoa, dude. Bjorn Borg. Bruh.

McEnroe. McEnroe. Augustine. Agassi. wooden rackets. Whoa, dude. Bjorn Borg. Bro, it's McEnroe. McEnroe. Agassi. Agassi. Agassi. Agassi. Jimmy Conner. Pete Sampras. Pete might be able to win.

Oh, McElvoy. Is that his name? McEnroe. McEnroe. Yeah. McElvoy's tin cup? Yeah. Him too, bro.

Yeah. I like tennis. I love that they get mad at the line judges. Yeah. How does the replay system work? It's the best. Best replay system in all of sports. You can challenge now, too. Yeah, yeah, bro. Yeah. I like tennis. I love that they get mad at the line judges, too. Yeah, how does the replay system work? It's the best replay system in all sports. You can challenge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With that whole court, right? With all the money. I mean, they got a queen sitting there. I mean, they got actual prince and princess sitting front row, and let alone all the other money in that sport. Rolex sponsorship. I guess they just have the whole floor censored. Yeah, they do.

Smart. They just throw up their hands. It takes literally 13 seconds, and then they're on to the next fucking thing. I like, though, on the replay how it's computer-generated graphic of the ball hitting the line. I'm like, what if he did that in football, and he had a cartoon player showing him that he stepped out of bounds? There was a lot of tweets. There was a lot of tweets about how tennis has every single millimeter of the court covered with a review. The NFL has two old guys running fucking chains.

Billion dollar operation, got chains running out. It was a great tweet. It wasn't mine. That was a good tweet. If I remembered who it was, I would give him credit. But I love tennis, man. I love that match. I really did.

And then Sunday night after Extreme Rules, I watched Dodgers-Boston. Oh, yeah. Good game. It was late night. They were in 12th inning or something like that 12th whatchamacallit 12 12 is what the thing went to and then they went into the 12th inning that dodgers red sox game i'm like hey sports aren't

bad right everybody says this is a dead time in sports i disagree kawaii leonard just walking off red carpets tell everybody he eats shit anthony davis can't get to number 23 because of a lebrron Nike thing? Yeah, thank you, number three. That happened to Ocho Cinco a couple years ago. Remember when he wanted to change his name from Johnson to Ocho Cinco? He would have had to buy up all the jerseys that were already made. Yeah, in the inventory, yeah.

From who? Nike. I think it was Nike at the time. Whoever was doing the jerseys for the NFL at the time. That's on you. Why is that on Ocho Cinco? I agree, was Nike at the time. Whoever was doing the jerseys for the NFL at the time. That's on you. Why is that on Ocho? I agree. But that's the way they do it.

That's a risk you took when you pre-printed that many jerseys. Hey, DTG that thing, bro. Yeah. Like small businesses have to do. We got to pay a little bit more per shirt because we don't want to take the risk. We don't want the inventory. Because what? Diggs changed his fucking name to Diggs with a Z all of a sudden.

We got to change the whole shirt. Ain't that right, Diggs? That's not what happened. It did happen. But yeah, I guess there's a deadline. I think it was March 15th that you have to register by

and say, this is what I'm wearing for the upcoming year so they can get their manufacturers ready. Anthony Davis is or not getting 23? He's number three.

Hilarious. Elementary school days, he said. Taking it back to elementary school days where he's still fucking probably seven foot tall. He's in Chicago? Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn's still fucking probably seven foot tall. He's in Chicago?

Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Good for him. He's not doing the USA FIBA thing. He wants to focus on the Lakers quest for a championship. That's good for him. Or he just didn't want to do it.

I think it's in China, too. And a great PR spin is, I just want to focus on championship. He waived his $4 million bonus, too. At the beginning, they said he wouldn't do it, and then he did waive it. That's awesome. I'm excited for sports, too. At the beginning, they said he wouldn't do it, and then he did waive it. That's awesome. I'm excited for sports, man. We're doing pretty good right now. Not bad.

We are doing pretty good at conversating. I'd say whenever we get in a room and start talking to each other about things, the things that come out of each other's mouths is normally pretty good. And we're just heating up. Just heating up. Speaking of heating up just speaking of heating up a company that's been on the rise since the very beginning a thing that captivated the earth whenever they launched dollar shave club you know those times when every day feels the same

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Oh, yeah. Is that right? Oh, yeah. What's going on here, guys? You tell us, bro. I don't know. I feel like you do one and two there, but that third one just kind of slips through the cracks

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look, feel, and smell your absolute best with your friends at Dollar Shave Club. Dollarshaveclub.com slash America, which is where your show is being broadcasted from today. Let's get back to that. We got some big news coming up too do we big news pretty excited all this flying around and meeting with people and shaking hands and uh hopefully putting out pretty average content for you beautiful people to listen it's about to pay off i think we're about to hit quite this fall is going to be a busy one a very very busy one i can't wait but i think it's going to be electric. It's going to be awesome. I'm honestly not going to be able to do much

other than work for the entire fall thing, though. It's going to be an electric fall, though. Best time of the year to work. It is. By far. What else is there to do? Honestly. Nothing. Pumpkin lattes. Cooked chili. Oh, yeah. Tailgate. Chili cooker. But when you're traveling,

you can buy chili, I hear. Oh, traveling? Wegate. Big chili cooker? But when you're traveling, you can buy chili right here. Oh, traveling? We're traveling a lot? Yeah, we're just throwing that out there. Oh, Todd. Todd with a little sneak peek. A little sneak peek. I'm pretty excited about our future in here,

and I'm very proud of you guys, man. I mean, we've put in a lot of work. Yeah, proud of you, boss. No, but also, I mean, we've put in a lot of work in here it's not easy working here i think that is something um a lot of people don't see is i mean honestly whenever you have a boss who wants to buy an island that is like 50 million dollars it is going to be tough to just take it the easy way through things i mean it's going to be very difficult what did you say today all right i, I'm seeing a whiteboard on wheels.

Hilarious. Do we have one of those? Let's get one. We need one of those now. Get one of those now. Let's wheel it out here. Ed, we didn't have one. Got one now, though.

Turned out we did. Prime day. Comes to Thursday. But I am very thankful for you guys. And the listeners, I can't thank you enough. God damn. I don't know why you guys listen to us. Honestly.

I mean, we have the dumbest collection of brains in this. Probably. Hey, listen. I don't know what we know more about. The space or the ocean. But I do know we have the dumbest collection of brains in both of them. If it's just where we are at. Yeah, well, you can't spell dumbest without best, so.

Great quote. Dingo locked out. Time just went and marked that. That's a great quote. And I'm very thankful for you guys, honestly. Thankful for you. And I'm thankful for the listeners, and I'm thankful for this life I'm living,

because I'm having a lot of fun with it. I mean, that Extreme Rules, I had a blast in there. I took a Kendo stick to the back. That was awesome. I took a Kendo stick to the back from Matt Hardy, who's a WWE legend, by the way, because of the bully Baron Corbin. He's a bully. He's a bully.

The more I learn about that operation, the more I learn about each character involved, he is a bully. He is a bully. Don't be a bully. Be a star. It's a WWE quote. And Baron Corbin refuses to listen. I wouldn't want to take that to the back.

If we're being honest here, I wouldn't want that to happen again. But what are you going to do when the camera's on? How's it feel now? I've got quite a bruise back there. He did not hold back either. Quite a bruise. Good looking welt. Oh, yeah.

Look at that. There it is. For those that are on YouTube, just got a little shot at that thing. We are less than 24 hours later. That's what's happening. I'm sure it's only going to get worse. And that one was different than what they were using in the match. You said you thought it might have been cooked up a little bit.

He walked in with that orange kendo stick. I've been watching WWE, WWF a long time. I've never seen an orange kendo stick used in the ring, out of the ring, anywhere in that world. He walks in with that orange kendo stick and just is like flipping, and I'm like, what the hell are you doing in here? And he goes, you always wanted to be a sports entertainer. Baron, you were not on the bill to be a part of this.

You were not on the bill to be a part of this you were not on the bill to be a part of this baron and i were very close whenever he played on the call it's like very close we played golf together he was at my house for a little bit i mean we are very close he and i back in the day and we always talked about how if this all fails we're gonna follow our real passion which is being sports entertainers wrestlers we said but kayfabe sports entertainers. He bounced around, went to the Cardinals. I think he went somewhere else, and then he went straight to the Performance Center to follow his thing.

And it was fun watching his entire growth because we literally talked about it when we were in the showers. Like two naked dudes, him much larger than me. Hey, man, it would be cool to be a wrestler one day, and we're sitting in like an NFL locker room. Yeah, it would be. It would be very cool. I got very lucky that the cannon on my hip lasted as long as it did in the nfl i made a great living now i get to do this because i say stupid things on the internet

and he's done an incredible job with his growth in the wwe from nxt all the way up now he's a fucking main eventing uh pay-per-views which is just so cool to watch as a friend but when he walked in that watch along he was not on the billing to be in that watch along. Him holding that kendo stick, I knew wasn't good. Maybe not for everybody in the room, but I knew that kendo stick was specifically for me. I was looking at that thing. I'm like, well, what's he doing there?

Is he going to hang it in the background? Did he bring a decoration for the set? This guy's a good guy. Old friend of mine. Not a bad guy. Maybe a gift. But what I forgot was Baron Corbin's a bully. He's a bad guy. That's what he is. Baron Corbin is a bad guy.

I mean, he bullied one of the biggest legends in the whole operation. Matt Hardy is still suffering from PTSD for having to hit me that hard with a kendo stick. Damn shame. Because Baron Corbin bullied him into hitting me on the live watch along leaving a welt on my back that I am going to feel.

Couldn't shower with warm water this morning. Couldn't sleep on my back last night. Don't worry about it. Matt Hardy is going to have flashbacks to that for the rest of his life, having to do that to me right there in front of the Philly Pretzel Factory in Fink's Hokies. He hit the shit out of me, man. Took it like a champ, though.

Took it like a champ. He took a full swing so in my head okay in my head as i'm bending over and ollie's like tuck your head bro ollie very nice guy by the way came in with a red solo cup i think he had a red bull in it he was ready to go that guy last time he came on to watch along he was right after a match and he was dead tired and he left i was like oh ollie's kind of like a low-key guy chill guy he kind of doesn't have a lot of energy i don't care if he ever comes back like in my head right i'm like ollie he's a motivational guy i watch him cut promos he was a chicago officer of the law like i'm a big fan of

his character as a uh as a wrestler but then when he came into that watch along he was like you could tell he wanted to get out of there he just got out of a massive moment at wrestlemania or fastlane too so i should have accounted for that but I'm not smart enough to. Then whenever he came in this one, he had all this energy. I was like, I fucking love this Ali guy. I want everybody. I love this Ali guy. Great energy. He stole a hat from us. Funny. Funny. He was great. He started

screaming at me like, tuck your head, dude. Put your head down. Always put your head down. I'm like, that's a good call. When I put my head down, I'm like, I should no-sell this thing thing which means in the wrestling world no sell means whenever you get like punched in the face you just you just act as if it didn't have ultimate warrior used to do all the time hulk hogan used to do it all the time you just act as if nothing happened other wrestlers hate you for it but for me i

thought it'd be a legendary moment just to no sell that thing right there on live on the stream because i knew it was going to be good internet by the way as soon as i was told to lift my shirt up and bend over and there is a wwe that's always good yeah always the internet is the internet is right for that moment this is going to be seen by some i know this is going to be seen by some people immediately as soon as it starts happening so i bend over i was like i can look like a gangster and just no-sell this thing and before i could even get that thought through my head uh hardy did a countdown it was the quickest countdown of all time it was either countdown or count up it was either three two one or one two three it was one of the other i don't remember but i remember him not saying the last number and just whack and i

i felt the shriek pain through my back down my spine through my butthole, right through my heel. And I was like, oh, we're not no-selling that thing. I dropped right down to a knee. And the watch-along, the purpose of the watch-along is for people to watch the pay-per-view with us watching it. Aleister Black had just won his comeback match on a pay-per-view, and the only thing I could think of saying was like,

congrats to Aleister Black. Because I wanted to congratulate him. NXT, I was happy for him. But man, it was hard to breathe there for a while, boys. That was hard to breathe. I think vertebrae 11 and 12 got potentially busted out there. What hurt more, the sting or the impact? The sting.

It was the sting because it caught my arm. This was the really painful part, was the arm. Because it's like the end of a roller coaster when you're in the last car it's like supposed to be like the whippy one the arm caught the tail end of it it just whack i mean the arm was sore but the sting of the back i've always been a guy i don't like backslash yeah yeah and i don't think anybody does by the way i don't think anybody does i've never been a big fan of the backslash yeah don't fucking touch me well aside from that i don't know i don't mind the kinship you know if you want to give me a little back slap and say good job i'm all about an attaboy but i don't

like the slaps and then when that thing hit me it was just like it felt as if it was the hardest slap i've ever got my back and i was like hold it together hold it together that's like uh when i was 16 we used to wrestle Elias and I On the trampoline In the backyard We did the whole Backyard wrestling thing

And we would take Tiki torches Oh yeah And step on them And crack them And make them into Our own homemade Kendo sticks

And I got hit in the head With one of those one time And I was concussed Corey Graves told me Corey Graves told me I should have fed my head No He said you should have

Fed your forehead It wouldn't have hurt as bad I'm like Corey Graves You're literally Commentating now Because you had concussion. Yeah. That is why you were doing. I took one clean shot that it was instant concussion. Oh, it's going to be

all right. So, you know, the post of a hockey goal, like the plastic, the hard plastic ones that are. I took one of those right to the ribs as a kid. My first trampoline match. I cried as a kid. I was like 12 years old. Hit me with that thing and I had flashbacks to that whenever that thing hit me in the back.

I just would like it to be known. I think it took it okay. I didn't squeal. That was the one thing. I was like, there's a lot of mics around. Don't squeal. Don't squeal. And when Jeff Jarrett came in, cool dude, by the way. Very cool. Everybody that comes in there seems to be awesome.

And I don't know if they're putting on a front for the camera. I don't care because that's all I know, is the people that come in and watch. Everybody's so nice over there, man. WWE is so nice to me. Great people. It's not supposed to be either. I mean, granted, they almost kicked me off a show.

There's high-tension moments there. But they're all so nice to me over there. I wonder what the future holds with WWE. I honestly do. Everything else in my future is kind of clearing up right now. Everything is kind of, the question marks are kind of disappearing. Like, hey, this is what you're going to be doing. But the WWE one, there's just one giant question mark.

I have no idea what I'm going to be doing with WWE. Everything's always like, eh, we should talk about this at some point. We should talk about this. Well, that's the one. There's so many avenues to go within that company. Yeah. So many. And it's like they're still learning with you

because you just keep gaining favor with the fans. I'm getting momentum in that company. I really feel like I am. You're like the kid who's coming out of high school. They don't know there's positions, so you're just listed as an athlete. ATH.

Five-star ATH. We got a utility kid in here. Probably four-star, not five-star. If I was a five-star ATH. We got a utility kid in here. Probably four-star, not five-star. If I was a five-star ATH, he would have done something with me. But it is very interesting because I feel like I have pretty good relationships with people that make some decisions in there.

Not ultimate, the ultimate decision. But I feel like Mr. H and I have a pretty good relationship, right? And I feel like Michael Cole and I have a pretty good relationship. And Pelligato, who runs our digital, we have a pretty good relationship. And I think like michael cole and i have a pretty good relationship and pelagato who runs their digital we have a pretty good relationship and i think it's all just kind of like they have so many talented human beings over there though if you look at that watch along those are all people that aren't being used in the show that's also winning favor with the

locker room that quickly because i feel like that would be almost a little bit harder because you come in and you're it's an earn your stripes yeah exactly it is in nikki tweets i talked to nikki tweets a little bit and the first thing he did because i missed the last watch along because we're doing our comedy tour and foxy wasn't with me this time they were like he was like where's foxy i was like uh foxy's editing the comedy tour and he's got a lot of shit going on so i gave him like the weekend off or whatever and he was like oh yeah how'd the comedy tour go i completely forgot i was like good he was like are you selling that special i was like i think so yeah he's like

you're going to netflix man i was like nikki that'd be great nikki netflix would be awesome he was like well do it why don't you do it i was like well in the comedy world just like in the wrestling world like you kind of got to earn your stripes like i feel like there's a big like you got to earn your stripes type thing i never did the open mics and i never did the feature and i never did the road warrior type stuff. And I completely understand the fact why some comedy scouts or comedy people look down upon me. They're like, ah, this guy didn't take the long road. This guy hasn't perfected his craft, hasn't done that. And those people are ultimately the people that are making the decisions at Netflix and HBO and

Showtime and Comedy Central. All these people are making decisions. So whenever they're told like, hey, this guy who's a former punter who does a podcast now has a second comedy special coming out. He's only been on the stage less than 30 times. It's kind of a scary thing for these people. When I would just argue, like, hey, just watch the fucking clips.

Hey, just watch the clips, bro. But it's hard to do that. So that's why we just sell... Everything we do, by the way, is just fuck them. We'll do it ourself. Seems to be working out. Todd was asked to write a title if I was to write a book about my life, what it would be.

And it's something that's stuck with me forever. Todd said that if there was a book written about me, the title should be fuck them, I'll do it myself. And that's exactly what the comedy special is. We're filming it. We're editing it right now. And then we're just going to sell that thing. I'll tell you what's the most unique comedy special you'll ever see. That's a great way to describe it.

I swear, too. Is that great to describe? I don't know if that's good. There's nothing like it. Just because all the different acts we have. It's very unique. I'm pretty excited. The sets did well with the crowds.

Yes. Unlike other comedians, where where i think by the way i think this is a gift and a curse other comedians they get to go around and practice their set and trim it up and kind of see what works and what doesn't work and kind of get the kinks out for me my first time telling those stories of the stage was literally pittsburgh in front of a couple thousand people so i have no in my head i'm like, these are funny stories in my head. I'm like, I think they'll laugh at this point. I think they'll laugh at this point. And then when you get on stage, you start talking and they start laughing at a point. You're like, oh, I didn't expect them to have this. Well, I got to take a

little break here then. All right. How do we get back into the story now? Okay, let's do it. And it's kind of a, I've enjoyed, I've always said that standup comedy to me is such a fundamental obstacle course for me because i get into these holes and i gotta get myself out of it's like all right where the fuck you going from here because sometimes i have no clue where i'm going i have no clue what people are gonna like i have no clue what they're not gonna like i have no idea what i should dig deeper on i have no idea what i should oh i should get through this a little quicker because oh i thought they were gonna like this more than they're liking it they're not liking it that much okay we gotta go

next for me it's like a mental obstacle course up there. Yeah, it really is. And all I want is the people up there just to fucking have the night of their life. And I feel like I've succeeded every single time I've won on stage. That's all I try to do is just have people have a good time. 100%. And this isn't like something where you're just going to watch someone on stage walking back and forth telling jokes.

Like literally, we have special guests. Yes. We have a Q&A. We have your jokes. Like there's so many different. Yes. We have a Q&A. We have your jokes. Like there's so many different elements. So that's why I say it's unique. Well, and it's 2019 right now. So getting somebody just to sit there and watch,

like I love a lot of the comedians that get stand-up specials. And I try to watch them and then I'm like 15 minutes in and I'm like, all right, I'm about to pass out right now. Yes. Because we live in a world where everything is just, especially comedy because Twitter's funny, Instagram's funny, IG stories are funny,

videos that are four minutes long are funny. There's so much funny in the world to just watch somebody stand there for an hour and be funny. It's like, yeah, I agree. You are an incredibly talented person, but I need a little bit of a, I need an optic.

I need to keep this thing optically pleasing. I need to see something. That's why people are going to enjoy this special extra because it's for consuming online. I mean, that's the thing, and people have been saying this for a long time. Tom Griswold told me this one time and some other people, like other comedians. Bobby Kelly said it when he called in.

Stand-up comedy is really meant to be viewed live. Yes. I mean, it's not meant to be viewed on TV or online. It doesn't feel the same because you can't feel what the audience is feeling. But how you put it together, it is a TV show that features stand-up comedy. That's exactly what it is. It's like Seinfeld, you know? Yeah.

I'm joking. It's nothing like thateld, you know? I'm joking. It's nothing like that. But it is a pretty cool thing. I had a lot of fun on that tour, though. I think we had a lot of fun. It was awesome. And the crowds were incredible. And it is a true story

that there's nothing like being in the audience because there could be something happening in the audience that you don't even know that is really changing the entire thing or the environment. It's this hot. It's this cold. This type of thing's happening.

You know, there's just so much to feeling alive. Well, plus like when you go to a show like that and you sit in the audience, you're committing to that for the next hour. You're not looking at your phone. You're not looking at your computer. You're not talking to your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever it is. It's just you and the entertainer just focused. Yeah.

So you can't do that at home. So a potential callback that you might've missed is something that you were whenever you did a scroll or something on your phone you missed a setup to something there's just a i think it's a whole new world i love stand-up comedy i very much enjoy doing it but i never call myself a stand-up comedian because i don't i'm not a road warrior out there i don't do the the whole stand-up comedian thing no yeah i mean you're stand-up comedian yeah no i get up there and tell stories you're definitely a storyteller but that's that's what comedy is now pretty much i mean do you look at burr kreischer all the you know bill burr like all the people that really crush it there yeah kevin they're telling stadiums out yes yes large ones stadium yeah twice and the traditional models

dying i mean you you don't no long you no longer want to put all your eggs in one basket, I don't think. One particular network told me that they could see how I could potentially be funny. Whenever they were talking about filming this special, potentially CA set me up on this call, and I hung up on him. As you should have. We could potentially see how you could be funny. I said, oh, yeah, yeah, that's awesome. Okay, I got somewhere I got i gotta be just hung up so then the caa agent had to call me afterwards and was like uh

the potentially could be funny line i was like yep they're like say no more i was like yeah fuck them but i'm excited for people to see it it's also why we haven't posted the interviews right from chaizier pac-man um and maurice claret it's because it's also why we haven't posted the interviews right from chaser pac-man um and maurice claret it's because it's going to be a part of that we'll release it all at some point but we gotta put together this thing because i think it could be something special i think it could be cool and our fall is going to be awesome one member that was on that tour is no longer with us and it was something that rattled all of us but we're happy for him mr jeffrey gorman has decided to move on to greener pastures he said he wants to find

something that's more for him he didn't really feel as if this internet life was mostly for him the guy has done everything in this world he's self-described gypsy he's uh he moves along he literally does everything and i think he's at the point of his life where he wants to find his forever home and he said he didn't think this was it we are so very thankful and grateful for what he's done for us the lou holtz impersonation is something i'll remember forever uh whenever he got on the microphone he was very funny he's a friend of all of ours still uh but we wish him nothing but luck and whatever he decides to do i'm excited for him.

And he's just, he literally walked out the other day. I mean, it was a wild scene. I wasn't even here because I was literally getting back in town from business. The boys told me, hey, have you heard from Gorman yet? I said, no, what happened? And they said, well,

he said he had to step out for a second and then he just never came back. And then I got an email saying that it was, it would be too hard to do. He just wants to go find his thing. He's grateful. hard to do. He just wants to go find his thing. He's grateful. He's thankful. He just wants to go find his forever home.

And I said, hey, man, good luck with everything. Because it was an interesting thing. He blocked almost everybody on Twitter. The internet was a whole new world for him. It literally was as if the gold rushers were trying to get to California. And they were just finding something new. For him, the internet was a whole new place. I think he enjoyed it.

I think he enjoyed it. Did not appreciate the mom jokes. I mean, Nick is potentially the reason why this happened. I'm joking. Probably 50%. No. But I was very lucky that Gorman was at the Colts whenever he was there when I was there. We were very lucky that Gorman came here the Colts whenever he was there when I was there.

We were very lucky that Gorman came here. I'm happy he went on tour with us, but I'm excited to see what he does next. I'll be pulling for him. I'm sure he's going to do great things. I'll be pulling for him. But he said this wasn't the right fit for him, which, okay, man.

You know, he was interesting, though. He never talked to us much off the mic, right? He saved everything for on the mic. And we live in this business where we're around each other a lot we're ideas here are worth more than anything else i'm a big idea guy i enjoy that's why i have dry erase boards everywhere it's like i want to see things i want to hear things let's chat open dialogue and he was almost always kind of very to himself doing research and then when the microphones would come on he'd come do it and i wonder if i should have been a little bit more like,

hey, come join us in this conversation. Maybe we'd film more. But I do believe the internet in and of itself kind of scares him. And it's not the place he wants to live forever. I don't know. I'm pulling for him though. And also Boston Connor is dealing with personal things still.

We've said this on numerous occasions. Some people haven't heard it. Boston Connor is not a guy who quit or got fired. He's a guy who's dealing with personal things right now in Boston. We also miss Connor, by the way, just for future reference. Everybody says, I miss Boston Connor. We miss Boston Connor as well. I'm eager and excited for his return to our office. He just has some things that he has to deal with. Honestly, that is something that is very personal with him. If I dive deeper into that, I feel like I'd be doing him a disservice and doing everybody else a disservice.

I'll let him tell his story whenever he comes back. We're excited for him to do that. And this fall is going to be incredible. That's all. Well said. That is, that is, I'm excited for it.

You know, that's really is we're going to miss Gorman. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to miss Gorman. We have miss Connor, but we're excited for our future we got massive things coming and i think gorman probably does too if i had a guess

yeah sure he'll be fine he's a guy who is full speed ahead yeah all times i'm excited to see what he does so if you could send an at hey gorman a little thanks and say hey man thanks for everything we appreciate you thanks for the laughs and good luck in everything you do and boston connor can also take your well wishes, I believe. He's not in jail. A lot of people have asked if he's in jail. He's not in jail. He did not get in trouble.

There's just some personal stuff going on. Sometimes life happens, man. That is true. Yeah. And we live in this world, though, where our listeners are family. We're friends. We literally are a team in this whole thing. That's why I call everybody team.

So I appreciate everybody's concerns about him. Because if I went missing, I would hope that people would do the same thing. I would hope. I think they would. I would hope. Yeah. By the way, I found that island, $46 million. That's it.

46 mil. Let's get to work, boys. Are we going to name the island obtainable? Because it's unobtainable. Hey, work, boys. Are we going to name the island Obtainable? Because it's unobtainable. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We just did a fist bump. I'm going to disappear one day. Just know that.

My mom was staying at my brother's house in front of my property this weekend because my brother and his girlfriend are socialites, and they go out every day. It's incredible. Jay's living his best life. I'm so happy for him. Honestly, I am. If you were seeing this guy in Pittsburgh versus this guy in Indianapolis, it's just-

Night and day. He's had a complete rebirth. He came out of the cave like Jesus when he came to Indianapolis. I'm so happy for him. Got a new haircut. New haircut. New everything. New life.

New friends. New everything. His friends in Pittsburgh, he's still friends with but they lived a very different life than his friends out here live i mean his friends out here go out i feel like every single night jay is potentially out every single night this weekend he went on a trip with his girlfriend it was her birthday they're celebrating her birthday happy birthday to her and uh my mom stayed at the house to watch his uh pet lion and cat that he has he He has a pit bull that's north of 150 pounds. Six foot three.

Hailing from. Yeah, he's a monster animal. And I was pulling out and my mom was pulling in. I was like, oh, I don't know you're staying here, you know. I was pulling out of the house. And she goes, yeah, I got to watch the animals or whatever. The grandpops or whatever my mom calls it. And she goes, you need to stop saying you're going to die young.

And I was like, mom, it's going to happen. I mean, we all know it's going to happen. You watch what I did to myself. I mean, it's just I got no shot. And she's like, but as your mother, I don't like hearing that. I was like, well, mom, how about this? If I fake my death and disappear, I'll let you know. She goes, well, that's very nice of you.

I got you, mom. Just like Avicii. Just like Avicii. That letter that Avicii's parents wrote, read it and think he's alive while reading it. They're like, oh, he's at peace now. Yeah, Sally wouldn't let that slip either. Sally?

Yeah. She would take it to the grave. Sally would take it to the grave. She is, oh, I thought I was going to Philadelphia. She read off about five storylines Headlines of bad things happening Sally hates everybody and everything Anybody could get it If Sally McAfee is around

And But if she loves you She loves you But boy If you're on the wrong side of Sally McAfee You're never getting back Sounds familiar I would like it to be known I don't know where this is falling in the podcast You're never getting back. Sounds familiar.

I would like it to be known. I don't know where this is falling in the podcast. I don't know what Ty's doing it. Maybe right off of Jump Street. Brian Baldinger of Baldi's Breakdowns. He's this guy. Is that his name? It's Baldinger.

Yeah, just say it faster. The way you separate. I don't know his name. I follow him. He's good. He does good videos on the internet. He breaks down offensive line faster. The way you separate. I follow him. He's good. He does good videos on the internet. He breaks down offensive line play, which I don't know a lot about, so I watch it to learn. He stated in a video on the Twitter, hashtag Baldi's breakdown,

that Laramie Tunzel is the best young left tackle in the game, potentially going to be the greatest of all time. Laramie Tunzel, if you do recall, was the tackle from Ole Miss that I told Chuck Pagano on draft night, had the greatest lungs I've ever seen in my entire life because a video was leaked of him hitting a gas mask, one that I had hit in the past, and didn't cough one cough after hitting that thing.

His stock was dropping with the quickness everywhere. Everybody's like, oh, can't draft Laramie Tunzel. He's a red flag. I was on a complete opposite end of the spectrum. Chuck, those lungs on that guy hitting that gas mask and not coughing one time, he might be in better shape than Lance Armstrong. Michael Phelps, Lance Armstrong, Laramie Tunzel. And now it's coming to be true.

Maybe I am a football scout. Maybe I should get in the front office of things. I think you could be easily. Yeah, good scout. It's the little things that I notice. It's the little things that I pick for when I'm betting games. Oh, this guy looks like he's going to be in a good mood. Oh, this guy hates this team because last year his girlfriend,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, he's going to dominate. Normally it comes to fruition, by the way. The real intangibles. I do, yeah. You can measure a 40, you know. You can measure the size of somebody's hands. Anybody can look at stats. But you can't measure spite, bro.

No. Hell no. Cannot measure spite. But you can measure lungs spite, bro. No. Hell no. Cannot measure spite. But you can measure lungs when you see a guy hit a gas mask and not cough. That was insanity.

That's going to be part of the combine next year. All right. Sit in this room. Do you know how to put this together? That's the first test. No? Okay, good.

He's not a massive putt head. We're now going to put this together? That's the first test. No? Okay, good. He's not a massive pothead. We're now going to put this steamroller onto the front of this Air Force gas mask here. We're going to light this, cover the end. You're going to inhale, just breathe, and then it's going to fill the mask up. Let's see how you take it. That's normally what happens.

Well, he had four coughs on his laramie tunzel so we know we uh we got some work to do there on his laramie wonderlick tunzel 40-yard dash the new nfl combine before we move into this next topic i have an announcement to make as summer sizzles do you feel like you're cooking in your clothes if you can't handle the heat you need new underwear and tommy john has the perfect solution tommy john's innovative cool cotton underwear for men and women is a summer must have it's like your own on-body air conditioner. Tommy John's cool cotton fabric features breathable, lightweight fibers that keep you two to three times cooler and dry,

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You should get on board. TommyJohn.com slash Pat for 20% off. Now, let us blow your mind with this next topic. You know who I know was a good guy? Bob Ross. Bob Ross, yeah. His paintings, by the way, have been found. They're still not for

sale but they've been found really i'm thinking just like in that dana white robbie fox interview when i get wealthy enough those bob ross paintings are gonna have a whole room right above my office this is the first fucking happy tree that was ever you see this right here it wasn't an accident it was just a happy mistake you turn turned it into a fucking owl. Look at this. That's what I think my art's going to be. Because I think what happens, you get very wealthy. Sure.

And then you get into art. Yeah, you have to, I think. Because you have to dump your money into something. Yeah. And for me, it'll be Bob Ross paintings. And I honestly, I don't think there's any better art to buy than that. Well, it's a great investment, right? You're not going to lose money in the art.

No, it really is. It doesn't depreciate. Well, the only a great investment, right? You're not going to lose money in the art. No, it really is. It doesn't depreciate. Well, the only thing that could make it depreciate is if something terrible comes out about Bob Ross. And I'm banking on the fact that Bob Ross beat the devil out of those brushers, but nothing in his real life. And that's what I'm banking on. I can't wait to be a Bob Ross art collector. Are they expensive, Bob Rosses? Not for sale.

What? Yeah, right now they're currently not for sale. There was an article last week that came out that a lot of the Bob Ross paintings have been found, and they are not for sale. What? Yeah, right now they're currently not for sale. There was an article last week that came out that a lot of the Bob Ross paintings have been found, and they are not for sale. Was there a heist? I don't know. I think maybe family had them or something.

I think something happened. Maybe production. It was just an article that got tweeted to me from somebody. They were like, hey, big news. You're on the Bob Ross, the best American painter of all time. Probably in the world, but American for sure. Bob Ross paintings have been found.. Bob Ross paintings have been found. Early Bob Ross paintings have been found.

Still not for sale was basically the gist of the entire article. I just would like to think that I'm going to make enough money that they will be for sale. Second question. See you live? No, no. Rest in peace Bob Ross. Tragic. So those paintings are just going to get up in

value year after year. A lot of people that die though. I mean I'm thinking Bob Ross never Tragic. So those paintings are just going to get up in value year after year. A lot of people that die though I mean I'm thinking Bob Ross never dating right? He seems like the nicest soul him and Mr. Rogers. Yeah yeah

it's not coming out now. I feel like we would have known by now. Yeah that's what I think. Yeah. I think we would have found something out by now. Thomas Edison

didn't do anything bad? I'm pretty sure he didn't. He was generally considered to be a prick. Yeah. But we still use lights right? Yeah we do. It seems like it's only convenient whenever somebody does something terrible that we decide

to ban everything. Yeah, there's a fine line there on how great whatever they came up with was. Electricity. That's what they did. Yeah. He's a fucking terrible guy, but love power. Do you know what I mean? I always had this dilemma.

What if Hitler was the one that created Reese's Cups? I'd be like, ah. Am I supposed to eat Reese's Cups? By the way, the one that created Reese's Cups? I'd be like, ah! Am I supposed to eat Reese's Cups? By the way, I think we put Reese's Cups down. Now, electricity. That would be a tough pill to fucking swallow. Every time you flip the switch, you're like, ah! Gotta do it, though.

You think the Amish had beef with him? The Amish are holding out Because of how bad Of a person Benjamin Franklin was That's what they're doing You're 100% right Nobody talks about that The Amish are holding out

Against the people That created electricity Good for them Bad for them They finally forgive them Sailboats also Big time holding out Against electricity

Oh yeah Ben Franklin There was a lot of bodies Discovered in his basement Are you being serious? Cadavers. Cadavers. A lot of people say he studied anatomy.

Some people theorize. So the story goes. What's his face said that? The terrible, terrible, terrible guy. Found skulls in his house. Baron Corbin? Dahmer. Dahmer. Not Baron Corbin. his house yeah kids baron corbin hey domer that's who domer not baron corbin bad guy tom pestock good dude baron corbin okay bro but uh domer had a bunch of couldn't he just want what the cadaver think yeah me especially if he would have done it that long ago. Because there would be such a gap in

information release. No records on oh, this person went missing. Right. When you disappeared then, you were just gone. Todd theorized that Ben wasn't going to go out there and hold the key himself in a fucking lightning storm. So about 15 other people had to get fucking struck by lightning before electricity.

A lot of fried bodies in the basement. Imagine just standing on top of the hill. Now that we know what we know, imagine just standing on top of the hill with metal just right above your head. Trying to get struck. I played college with a guy named Boo McClee. Kevin Boo McClee.

The legend is he was struck by lightning twice. He was an incredible football player. Did some things off the field not exactly morally accepted. I think he sold some drugs and stuff. Allegedly got struck by lightning

twice. Wow. He was an electric football player. I'm the worst. The absolute worst. Speaking of conspiracy theories, went ahead and went in on Bob Lazor. Lazar. You name it.

Incredible. This guy, if you haven't seen the documentary on Netflix, go ahead and just fast forward to the end of this show. It's about to be some spoilers. Nick told me right to my face, because I watched Unacknowledged a year ago, and I said, hey, everybody needs to watch this Unacknowledged.

It was a lot of the Brits that were high up in the Navy and stuff like that saying, oh, we have this documented UFO sighting. We have this alien thing, this, this, this, and this. And I watched it and I came in here and I was like, yo, unacknowledged, completely flipped the script on me. I'm 100% in on aliens. I'm 100% out on Bigfoot, by the way.

What happened? I was sitting on a runway in Philadelphia and we we landed early 20 minutes early okay pilot gave us an announcement you we have arrived 20 minutes early but since we're 20 minutes early there was no jetway for us to get to the worst so we sat there and then our jetway that was supposed to open up the plane that left had a maintenance problem had to go back so we were just sitting there for like 40 45 minutes so we're actually 25 minutes late in the grand scheme should you shut up on time mr pilot neither

here nor there and i got to thinking i was just sitting there with my thoughts front row no big deal first class had a lot of room with the legs spread the legs out and uh for some reason it just hit me to start thinking about the bigfoot and by the time we got to the jetway i took a step onto the jetway and i said yep i'm officially over bigfoot i'm all the way out i went hunting in the hills of georgia for bigfoot with a deaf guy in confederate steve he had confederate flags all over him my dad told me that if i died it was my fault i went to the woods with a guy with confederate flags all over him and i want bigfoot hunting with a deaf guy which which 90% of Bigfoot hunting, by the way, is audio.

So it was a bad decision. We did not find Bigfoot that night, but I was a believer. I have a Bigfoot sculpture at my house. You do? Yeah. But I felt like since I gained so much alien conspiracy push. Aliens are hot right now. So what?

I don't even think it's a conspiracy anymore, by the way. I don't even think aliens are a conspiracy. We'll get to it. I think my conspiracy limit was maxed out with the aliens that the Bigfoot one just got dropped off. And by the time I got off of that 45-minute wait, 25-minute late from our scheduled arrival, I walked off that plane and I said,

I'm done with the Bigfoot. I sent a text to Sam, actually. I said, I'm out on Bigfoot. And she said, did you mean to send this text to me? I said, yeah, I just want to let you know. I'm out on Bigfoot. And she said, did you mean to send this text to me? I said, yeah, I just want to let you know I'm out on Bigfoot. And she goes, how the fuck did this happen? I'm like, well, I'm all in on the aliens. So when you're all in on something, you got to be all out on something else.

That's right. And Sasquatch, old Bigfoot, old Yeti, old Satchmo, old Imbominable snowman. Oda. Satchmo. Oda. Harriet Henderson's. So that's where we stop. I was wondering when we were going to make it. I'm all the way out on that now.

And it was a good run. I had a good run with Bigfoot. I mean, it took me into places I never thought I'd go. Into the hills with a guy. It shouldn't have been in hills with. This guy was a recluse. He's been hunting Bigfoot for 25 years. He's only seen seen a few times which did he you know it's just i'm to the point where i'm out on it but because of this bob lazar laser is it lazar lazar this bob lazar cooler if it was laser yeah

i would bobby laser you kidding me robert laser bob lazar completely put me all in. Not that I wasn't, by the way. I'm a big alien guy to begin with. People ask me who I want to see, who I want to meet. Alien's always one of the first answers. My new first answer for human used to be Steve Jobs. Now it's Jesus because I got some questions I want to clear some shit up. Because if I get those answers directly,

I feel like I can solve the world's problems pretty quickly. You know what I mean? People are saying a lot of things about you. I just need to know if they're true or not can uh can you just tell me a couple things you walk on water ever uh no i actually was a uh it was a sand one of those things sandbar sandbar actually it looked as if it was a jet ski yeah okay hey no by the way not a problem i just want you don't feel bad about this how about this did you do this this and this and if he goes no no I'll go, thank you so much. This is going to clear up a lot of wars

that are currently happening right now. A lot of tension happening. And a lot of people that are sitting at church getting powed and knocked unconscious. I think this will clear a lot of things up. I feel like if you ask a question, he's an off-the-record kind of guy. This would definitely be off-the-record with Jesus.

That's okay. One person needs to know. All you need is a selfie with him, though. So it legitimizes that I talk to him at some point. Agreed. You'd be a prophet. Oh, hey, that'd be pretty cool. I'd talk to Jesus.

Prophets are pretty high up there in the ranking system. When I get to write my own chapter in a book, the sequel? Oh, yeah. If you're an apostle. A what? If you're one of the apostles, if he anointed you as an apostle, then you'd be able to.

He's the right answer, though, right? Wait, working at an apostle? Yeah, yeah. Me andointed you as an apostle, then you'd be able to. He's the right answer, though, right? Wait, work at an apostle? Yeah, yeah. Me and Jesus will work at an apostle. I'll become an apostle, and then I'll write a postal about people doing crazy stuff. It makes sense that he would be involved with the apostle, because the clothes are for very skinny people. You would have a whole other section.

I'd be able to write my own book. It'd be A.M. after the meeting, after Pat, after something now. It'd be like Joseph Smith. I'd be able to write my own thing. Hell yeah. Like a spinoff. After meeting, A.M.P., amp. Yes.

This would be a spinoff. Remix. Or he says, yeah, I did do all those things. And then I'd come out swinging, by the way, for my guy. I just want to let everybody know that if I talk to Jesus Christ and he says yeah i did do all those things yeah and then i'd come out swinging by the way for my guy i just want to let everybody know that if i talk to jesus christ and he says yeah i did all these things because nobody debates that he was a real person right so whenever somebody says if you could talk to anybody in history and you say i'd like to talk to jesus christ that's not like saying because even the people that don't believe him are like yeah he's a real guy he's

just an average guy he wasn't this crazy guy and people that believe him like yeah he was this guy that did all these insane things. So you can say, whenever they say, if you could talk to one person, past or present, dead or alive, who would it be? You can say Jesus Christ.

And that is a, an accurate answer. Correct. And that's why I'd like to talk to him. You just need the proof of legitimacy because the church will try and discredit you if they don't like what I'm saying, because there are other gospels that didn't make it into the big book because the church didn't agree.

Yeah. I don't know. All I know about is AMP after MacAfee. Yeah. So as long as you get that selfie, though, you're good. Yeah. The selfie would legitimize everything. And by the way, it would be the only Bible with pictures. So I'd read that one.

Nice. It's not a full picture book. There's just a picture. I'm sorry. It'll be the only Bible with picture. Yeah. It'd be one picture. It'd be me and him.

Probably a high angle one. So he gets a good look on his beard. The new cross photo, you're in there. Maybe I'm holding him up. You know what I mean? He's sitting on your shoulders. Yeah, sitting on my shoulders doing the... But anyways, I would like to know.

I think that'd be a good thing to have. And I thought of that while sitting on the runway as well. I got asked that question. But then the alien thing happened. Then Bigfoot... My brain was just going. Because you're literally confined in a space The only baby on the plane was sitting right next to me

The only baby on the entire plane How does that happen? And you're in first class Saw the baby in the loading area Saw the baby, one baby I saw the baby in the loading area The baby was a big baby It was stumbling

I don't know how old it is Got on the plane though Good baby. Very quiet. Mom slept there. It did shit on takeoff. It shit on takeoff. So I was a little bit of a shitboxer. But by the time we landed, the smell

had been obsolete somehow. So I don't know how that... Very proud of that mom. Good mom. Good baby. Happy for that baby. That takeoff scared the shit out of him. Yep, seal it. It was a baby take off scare the shit out of them yep see you later it was a baby girl by the way so uh sex is zito thinking the babies could only be a guy he's taking a hike happy national take a hike day like four days from now three days from now because he does get one in early he'll be back so i was just cooking in this box and i was all the way out on bigfoot because i started talking

thinking about bob lazar the bob lazar story is such a fascinating one he was originally dennis on a news cast as the scientist who broke away from s4 which is a sub lot of area 51 and he said he was working on ufos uh working on this spacecraft, one spacecraft. And his job was to, what is that, reverse engineer basically this unidentified flying object from another worldly place. He said it was from another place. Welcome back, Cito. Great hike. He said it was from another place because we did not have the technology in 1989 or 1988 that this thing had.

I mean, it had a reverse force field. It was doing all this crazy shit. And he was tasked specifically with propulsion, right? Yeah, propulsion because he's compartmentalized the parts of the aircraft. In his entire life, he's been doing propulsion, right? He built like a Honda with a jet engine in it. I mean, he's done all this stuff. So he comes out and does this interview,

and then he gets released from the job because of something that was happening in his personal life. He doesn't get asked back to go back. Then he comes out clean with the story because he thinks that the government is not only lying to people, they're lying to science, which he was a scientist. So he was like, scientists need to know that there isn't a technology out there that can create gravity, right? He comes out and does this.

The government, and this is all allegedly then decides that they're going to try to ruin every single thing of this guy's life basically this guy's entire history gets erased from working at this place called los alamos i believe which is a nuclear site or nuclear plant or something like that to him going to mit this whole thing and you watch this documentary and then i i double down i watched the entire joe rogan interview so i spent three and a half hours at this guy one night i was up to like 2 a.m late night with bob lazar and i'll tell you what i don't know if i should or not i believe the guy i believe bob lazar i think what he was doing was real he seems to be too on brand with

every answer he gives that this was and he didn didn't keep the spotlight on him for all these years. He kind of disappeared for 30 years. And then now he's coming back to tell the story because a guy named Jeremy wanted to tell the story. A guy with a beard. He and Rogan had a couple interesting moments. He tried to out-Rogan Rogan whenever he got a little bit intoxicated. Tough to do, by the way.

Rogan's got a very good brain. But I enjoyed the documentary. I enjoyed the whole thing. I'm all the way in on Bob Bazaar and which means i'm all the way in on aliens and it was hard to keep bigfoot around so bigfoot's gone aliens are all the way in and now everybody 300 000 plus are going to storm area 51 it's up to 600 oh yeah i thought it was close to a million 600 000 people were going to storm Area 51. First reaction was, send Nick into that group.

First reaction was, going to get a flight for Nick, fly his ass out to Vegas, tell him to hop in that little caravan, get his little sword, and go fucking rally the troops and run right in. We need somebody on boots on the ground in this situation. That's what I thought. My first thought. Then I thought, man, this is going to be awesome when this happens. happens i mean how are they going to stop 600 000 people and then i thought

back to babasar they're flying ufos around they're reverse engineered some shit they can knock out 600 000 people in no time they just send out a little shockwave everybody passes out oh we did a nuke test yeah an accidental nuke test. Oh, I'm so sorry. This is a government. This is our military. We did an accidental. I think it's a terrible idea. I think it is a bad idea.

Bob Lazar has come out and said he thinks it's a bad idea. Joe Rogan, I think, has even come out and said, hey, I think it's a bad idea. This number is still growing. So, hey, hey, hey, there's some heroes that are going to storm those grounds out there. And you got to do what you got to do. But I do believe they should, just like those guys going into war,

like I think there should be a good thought in the back of your mind, like probably going to die out here in this desert. And you know what? I appreciate your service. I want to let you hipsters know I appreciate your service, and I wish I could join you, but I got an island I would like to buy in a few years. I can't be dying. Here's the best part about it.

Even if it is a massive joke, which we all know it is, and only, let's say, 20 people show up, when that many people sign a petition, the government has to prepare as if it's actually going to happen. They have to have people ready and mobilized in some fashion as if something is actually going to go down that path. 600,000 people is a large unit. That is a large army coming to storm the desert out there. Are they going to be smart enough to listen to the 12 strong guys? Are they going to come in from opposite directions? No.

They're running with their arms behind their back. You think they're going face first? That's literally what it said. They said they're running with their arms behind their back because they think it makes them run faster. You send all the Kyles in who are juiced up on the monster energies, they go first, and then everyone follows that wave. Is Fosbury a monster energy now? them run faster. You send all the Kyles in who are juiced up on the monster energies, they go first, and then everyone follows that way.

Does Fawcett run monster energy now? No, it's just that's what Kyles do. That's not a bad idea. I mean, we're going to show up. Yes, 600,000 people signing up for this? Yes, there's going to be... There's going to be at least a couple hundred. 10%, let's say 10% show up.

That's 60,000 people. How many casualties do you think this is going to result in? I think it's going to be 100% death rate. I think it is 100% death rate. They already posted. I don't know if it was the Department of Defense or the Air Force or something, but they were like, we are very ready and willing to defend state secrets here. Yes.

Yeah, they said it's an army training area. Yeah, exactly. So there will be armed soldiers. Bro, Bob Lazar in the documentary said the last guy that had his job died because they tried to cut into the UFO and it blew up and it rattled so big that they had to release a statement saying

that they had an unannounced nuclear test and that was just them trying to cut into a UFO that killed the last guy that was there. And that's just like, you don't think they could just 100,000 with their hands down? I don't think they could just 100 000 easily with their hands down i don't think they need to like you just can't there's metal doors you can't get in area 51 i think they could just fucking chill inside and pretend like nothing just sit on top of the cargo

roof because they said everything is just kind of built in these hangers right so you can't see anything from sky because google images you area 51 google images it's just like a couple hangers here and a couple hangers there and nothing to see here sub level but bro whenever bob lazar said he was there he took his friends there for three weeks straight after he was like no longer being called back there because it was on wednesday nights he wanted his friend george who's in the news to legitimize his story a little bit he's like well on wednesday nights he tests these things because there's nobody on the highway so they went out to the first week i guess they they saw something but nobody saw him second week same thing third week he said they got a bit

loud and they were like tailgating out there and all of a sudden the night vision scope fell and they turned on the headlights and there was like 45 fucking military people just sitting there like you guys need to get the fuck out of here actually they arrested them all i think and then they interrogated them and sent them out of there that. That was in 1989. Like, what do they think is going to happen 30 years later of fucking just lining up? And those people

are all prepared for it. They're not just clicking, yep, join group. You know what I mean? But I would like to say, if they get in there and learn some shit, hey, I appreciate

what you've done. They also said that the desert leading up to how you would get in there is filled with barricades and obstacles that are covered in the dark that,

so I mean, good luck. Good luck. Yeah. Nick, I would like you to know that and appreciate that. My first thought was got to send Nick in there. Yeah,

I appreciate that. Why was it Nick? Uh, just because Nick was the one that told me to watch the documentary. I feel like he was the most dialed into the whole thing. You know what I mean? But I think you should watch that documentary. It's very hard.

The first 10 minutes is tough. You've got to really get through. They had Mickey Rourke, I think, doing the voiceover. It's kind of tough. I didn't realize that I tried to watch that previously, and it was during that first 10 minutes of Mickey Rourke and that weird kind of thing that happens. Yeah, the little cutaways that they do and stuff is awkward.

So you just kind of jump through there until you get to the Bob Lazar parts, and they're awesome. And the Rogan interview, by the way, is just Rogan sitting there just peppering Lazar with all the questions that he has after watching the documentary. Very much worth it. But it seems as if this Lazar guy... I totally believe him.

For one, like you said, he came out on this one and said i wish i'd never come out and said anything to begin with i don't make any money from this it's done nothing but pretty much ruin has caused negative things to happen to me yeah and then you know it's just he's so he you can tell he's not a crazy person well it's gonna say unless he's like a pure stone-cold sociopath he speaks so matter-of of factly and confidently and calmly. It's like, it's very hard to say, oh, that guy's lying.

He had a migraine on Rogan and like 35 minutes in, he like stumbled on an answer. He's like, uh, I have this migraine. I was like, wait a minute. Don't you fucking lie to me right now.

That was my first glimpse of him potentially like stumbling over his story. But then he hopped right back on the horse and i was like oh okay he's fighting through a migraine to this guy his story is even working through a potential migraine which i've heard is debilitating right so i mean it was uh i i i believe him i i it's it's a whole new world though knowing that aliens are real that's awesome that's really cool we've always done i have actually. I have, actually. I've been a very vocal proponent of aliens happening. Correct. I mean, it's just too big out there.

Yeah, it only makes sense. It's too big out there when you look up. And now I look at the sky in such a different way, too, after watching that thing. Whenever you're like matter of fact that there's something out there, it's hard not to just look up there and be like, I don't know where the fuck they are. Is that star right there a fucking just an alien hub like because they said they're small so like are they living in stars out there like is that are they

in stars up there they said well it came from some galactic system that's like three light years away or i'm like what the fuck does that even mean i don't know what that means i mean i can see it or does that mean it's in it they're like mean it's in a... They're like, no, it's through a black hole through like another space, which by the way, there are still people on this earth that we're living in that think we know more about fucking space than anything. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

There's still people that think we know more about space. We're just learning now that there's occupants in there. Yeah. Like just for matter of fact that there's occupants. Like they brought up those two black holes that are going to meet and they're like, well, they may have already met because what we're seeing is 2.5 billion light years away so what we're seeing is the location of those two black holes 2.5 billion

years ago so 2.5 billion years from now we'll know what happens when two black holes meet yeah you're actually seeing the past we have no idea yeah yeah it's impressive isn't it even though they were like we're we're ashamed to admit we have no idea yeah yeah it's impressive isn't it even though they were like we're we're we're ashamed to admit we have no idea what happens with two black holes meet yeah because we know nothing about everything everybody says there's still a lot to learn yeah about what just like there's a lot to learn about the bottom of the ocean what goes on down there because we got no aliens down there too definitely see maybe we don't know i don't i don't think so and the mermaid thing i was on board with that by the way i was very much on board with that documentary camp

sorry that movie came out about the mermaid thing i was on i wasn't we interrupt this incredible conversation for a reading from zito thank you pet no problem, you know get as many massages Do as many stretches and take many as ice baths as you want. I just feel as if the rhythm of this is already I'm gonna start again here take many as Get as many massages Oh Do as many stretches, you know and take as many iceages, do as many stretches, and take as many ice passes as you want. If you're not getting a good night's sleep,

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rhythm get back you should let him go with that he He said carcadin last time. I was thinking about the insect. Cicada? Cicada. That was the worst word I thought of. Circadian. Nope. Yeah, yeah. You nailed it.

One more again. Circadian. One more maybe. Crickadin. He literally just looked over at Nick like he was his dad. Circadian. Circadian. Circadian rhythm. Here we go.

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I love CBDMD. Do you guys love it as well? I love it. I take it 30 minutes before bedtime and wake up refreshed like I just had massage. Ceridian. What is it again? This show is about to get better. Sarkeesian.

Sarkeesian? Steve. He's a coach. He had an alcohol problem and now he's back. He's a good coach. CBDMD. You can use that. He should be using it.

Everybody should be using this. I got a couple of tweets this weekend about people who have never used CBD. They're like, we heard about the CBDMD. Is it really that good? The CBDMD PM with melatonin in it puts me to bed. It's the only thing that really puts me to bed. I used to have an Advil PM issue. And by issue, it means I couldn't sleep without it.

Now that I use the CBD, it puts me right to bed. And my dreams are lit, woke, alive. And we're back to the show. I feel like I'm a pretty open-minded person. If somebody can spin me a little bit of, like a little bit of, like just a little bit of hope that something's real, I'll be like, you know, I'll fucking give it a go.

Let me give it a go here for a minute. The mermaids thing got me while watching that movie. And then the last hand on the window. And I fucking couldn't do it. That was whenever it ended. The end of that movie, they put a hand on a window like Titanic scene. And I was like, all right, well, that's fake. That was a shame.

I was all the way in. I think I was even like maybe potentially tweeting about it. Like, yo, fucking mermaids, let's go get them, bro. Is there any comeback for Bigfoot? I don't think so. If he comes back being an alien? Oh. Well, so the guy that talked to me that I went into the woods with,

he said that we didn't see him because somebody in our group didn't believe hard enough, like Santa Claus. Jesus. This guy may have heard it. That was the deaf guy or the other guy? Huh? That was the deaf guy? The other guy.

No. Yeah, it was the other guy. Yeah. Confederate Steve. Seems like he didn't believe. Confederate Steve. I went into his house in the middle of the other guy no yeah it was the other guy yeah confederate steve seems like he didn't believe confederate steve i went into his house in the middle of the woods man it was kind of a moment for me yeah i really uh that was whenever the nfl was testing me eight times a month so i had to find things to do sober and i ended up in a guy with confederate flags house in the middle of the woods in georgia i got drug tested 4 30 next morning by the way by the nfl in

a hotel in the middle of this fucking town. The guy who tests the Falcons had to drive all the way out there at 5 a.m. And whenever he got there, he said, what did you do? I was like, why? He's like, I've never been asked to test somebody this early in the morning in my entire career. He said he's done thousands of tests. He said he's never been asked to test somebody this early. I had to leave my house like 3.30, he said, to get here.

I was like, I think it's because I'm moving a lot. Because I was doing, I think it's because I'm moving a lot because I was like doing ghost hunting in Florida. I was going to say, did you tell them what you were doing that weekend that maybe prompted them

to, he's fucking doing what? No, they didn't know what I was doing. I was just moving a lot. So I was like, I went on like a tour.

Like I went ghost hunting in Kissimmee, Florida, I believe. I think that's where it was. How did you report that? No, I flew a plane in Kissimmee, Florida where me and Mad Dog, which's where it was. How did you report that? No, I flew a plane in Kissimmee, Florida,

where me and Mad Dog, which was the co-pilot, did a couple barrel rolls and did a stall out. I saved our lives because there was a bird right in front of us. And I said, what am I supposed to do if there's a bird in front of us? He said, where's the bird? Right in front of us. We had to vroom, vroom, vroom. But there was a dual cockpit.

I had the thing. I did the thing, barrel roll, did the thing, barrel roll. Nice. Even had the foot thing. I have a whole video of it i mean i vomited you gotta do what you gotta do uh basically i'm a pilot me too i flew a plane did you yeah when we went on to uh go meet uh mason did you barrel roll that thing no i didn't get too crazy with it i just kind of put my hands on the wheel went left went right all right i'm good i flew a um i think it was called a mustang it was a world war ii p51 p yeah that thing yeah and it might not have been a mustang it might have been a training one for the mustang so it was uh it was a dual it was i got pictures

me and mad dog it's nice to meet another pilot it is nice to be amongst other captains the i was not the captain of that ship mad dog was very worried too whenever he had heard that I had zero hours of flying because it's like uh it's in Kissimmee Florida you can look it up it's like a like a like a bucket list thing where you can go fly these World War II planes and do like things we had to pay a lot of money but I did it it was awesome I get sick though I mean I would not do it again but I did it so let's knock it out I did that. It was awesome. I get sick, though. I mean, I would not do it again. But I did it. So let's knock it out. I did that, and then I went ghost hunting,

and then I went to a croc farm in Louisiana. Then I went hogging and frogging in Louisiana. And then I went Bigfoot hunting in Georgia. And I did all these things each day. And I would drive to the place. And when you're on that substance of abuse program, you had to call any time you left where you were, give them an address you're at and two phone numbers to reach you at really every single time it's like i had a po literally so i would be like all right i'm in lafayette louisiana

i'm at this guy bubba's house here's the two phone numbers you can reach matt and then like 6 a.m the next morning i was leaving to go to like uh florida to go to something else i'm like okay i'll be getting to this address at noon this is the address you can meet me at these are two phone numbers and uh dr brown who's the head of the program he must have been seeing my check-ins and me this fucking guy's trying to get around this test so that guy showed up at 5 30 a.m like before i could even leave uh georgia i got a phone call and i like i slept through the first call i got a voicemail was like hi this is blah blah blah from the um game i forget what it's called it's called a company game something clean no yeah it'll come to me uh you have four hours to complete a substance

of abuse test and then like 30 minutes later i got a call it's like hi this is blah blah i got two voicemails i woke up to for these missed calls and I checked the voicemail It was like 6 15 a.m. I'm like, holy fuck. I called this guy back. I'm like, where are you? He's like I'm outside this days in my yeah, I'm inside man. Come on in Contracted piss takers, you know full-time. Yeah, there's one in each big city. Yeah. Yeah bad job. I Mean you just gotta look at dicks all day yeah yeah bad job i i mean they just gotta look at dicks all day yeah it's fine and they do like they have to pour the the piss into different things i had the one guy at the colts uh he was a backup guy because the regular guy was out of town or something he was so nervous he spilled my piss come on it was unbelievable he was shaking so hard he spilled my piss and it was i only had

like 45 more minutes to fill it back up because you got four hours or you fail. And I looked at the guy. I was like, are you going to write that down that you just spilled my fucking piss? He was like, oh, I don't know how to do that. I'll go start bonging and peeing. Jesus Christ. But a majority of the piss test guys, good guys, by the way. Terrible position.

Sure. Good guys. But yeah, I was down there hunting fucking Bigfoot. Got tested like, fuck, it was supposed to be 5.30 in the morning. It took us 6.15. Got two calls from the guy. It didn't find Bigfoot. But yeah, I was down there hunting fucking Bigfoot. Got tested like, fuck, it was supposed to be 5.30 in the morning. It took us 6.15. Got two calls from the guy. It didn't find Bigfoot.

But these aliens, though. I feel like the information on Bigfoot would have evolved with time. It's always the same information. That's not the case with aliens. We keep getting better and more information. This is a hard thing. Really flipped the game on its head. I guess they're only two and a half feet tall. They're small. This particular, what thing. Really flipped the game on its head. I guess they're only two and a half feet tall. They're small.

This particular... What's that? You can punt them. I don't know, though, because I feel like they're much more advanced. They'll do something. Try to control your mind and stuff. That'd be the worst. I feel like they don't need bodies anymore because they're making up for it

in other ways. They might have lasers in their fingers, too. It's hard telling. I mean, they're more advanced than we are. Way more advanced. Clearly. If we only use like 10% of their brains or whatever we say. In 1989. It's a bunch of Bradley Coopers walking around.

It's a bunch of limitless people. Invincible, yeah. Limitless. Enough of invincible. It's Mark Wahlberg. I was in his town. I was in his fucking neighborhood, I thought, the other day. It was tough.

But he said that he didn't know how long they had had that spaceship. He said they could have had that for 100 years or something like that. He said he had no idea how old that particular spaceship was. That's true. That he was working on. And he said some things were just already figured out, so he couldn't explain why that works. It just that's they'd already figured they already figured it out he was just brought in to figure this out figure this out just a little bit he said that

could have been around for fucking forever really he said it could have been archaic and they found that thing and it was so far advanced than us like it was doing things that we could never do he was talking about if if humans could do what that thing did, it would change the entire world, it would change the economy, it would change time, it would change everything. Because it had this gravitational pull where it didn't really they said anytime we move something, it's always pushing something. So there's an exhaust of some sort, there's a push. And then there's something coming out with this particular spacecraft. It was a a pool technique that was was happening with gravity and you couldn't touch it. And it was just like,

he said, if humans could figure this out, it would change everything. It would absolutely change everything. And I'm starting to think though, like Tesla, my Tesla, there's nothing that comes out of it.

And the way that thing moves is as if there's no, I'm even more sold that Elon Musk is an alien I'm even more sold that Elon Musk is an alien. Like, even more sold that Elon Musk is an alien. And he's offering up flamethrowers for anybody that goes to Area 51. Really? I don't know. Just weaponizing these guys. He wants his friends to be free.

Hey, oh, you're going to get John Busk? You're going to get E. John? If I give you two flamethrowers, you can hit me. E. John. E. John. E. John. Heywood Banks, who is a legendary comedy writer. She's the one I, one I, one I.

She's the one I, one I love. He has some great songs. French toast. Yeah. That's's him he has all these old songs he was bob and tom regular todd tweeted that if area 51 is a real thing he would like to be displayed as an mtv cribs episode with me hosting it yes it'll be perfect which by the way i would love to do yeah man you're just walking through the tour yeah right over here. He's a little ugly fucker. What's up, dude? You guys don't do 95s?

Four, sorry. I bet they don't have thumbs. They don't either. No. No. But Haywood Bank said, all I want to know is, what happened to areas one through 50? Which was a hilarious. I was sitting on a plane. I was dying laughing.

I'm like, how did they get to area 51? It probably means something, I just... 51 probably stands for something. 51 aliens. The aliens probably killed everyone in the first 50.

And then they finally figured it out. So I watched an ancient aliens episode and they did mention in a case in the 70s where two UFOs, the creatures actually, were on the loose in Mexico. And the government ended up covering it up as saying two dwarves were running wild in the city, which was an interesting case.

But one of the sheriffs in the town. Were they dwarves, though? They were small. They were very small, like you mentioned. Because one of the guys has an eye-witness support of seeing one of the sheriffs. And he touches it. And it shrieked at him. And then he died something like three weeks later of a series a series of diseases that had taken over his body yeah infections so it's like the nuclear stuff in chernobyl potentially

yeah you touch one of these aliens it's a chernobyl effect put your gloves on there was another case where again in mexico it might have been the same case, actually, where the craft had crashed, and the military was trying to haul it away, but they were intercepted by CIA. A small group of CIA soldiers came down, and they basically handed it over to the CIA because four of the soldiers who had initially discovered the crash were dead on arrival when they came to the scene.

And the cause was never determined, but they assume it was some type of bacterial poisoning. Bro, so they spit like camels? Oh, no. Yeah, it sounds like these aliens spit. Don't catch any of the saliva. You catch alien saliva, fucking rest in peace, because Undertaker's coming through.

If I've learned anything from these alien things. Don't touch them. Don't touch them. No, you definitely don't want to do that. I would like to talk to him, though. Maybe behind a glass wall, like white boy Rick had to do with his dad there at the end of the movie.

I'd watch that movie again, by the way. White boy Rick. You like it? I do like the movie. I love the story. If he had, his license plate was really snowman, such a fucking aggressive decision. You're just putting it on display at that point.

His license plate said snowman, and he had a big-ass chain on. He's the only white kid in the neighborhood. I mean, it's an aggressive decision. Do a lot of drug dealers have Vandy plates? I don't know. He might have been the first of his kind, honestly. That's probably a question for Todd.

Todd dealt in the meth world, which I don't think is the same as the coke world. Yeah. I mean, coke people really aren't a problem, per se. You know what I mean? You don't really have to put out a lot of fires with coke flying around. Was he bribing a lot of cops? I feel like that's an easy thing to do.

Rick? Yeah. He was an informant whenever he was a kid because he was an arms dealer. Well, yeah, then there you go. He's probably protected.

No, he wasn't though. So he was an arms dealer. Okay. Gets shot by his own gun by his friend. Comes into his house, shoots him in the stomach.

He goes to the hospital. His dad says he wants to get out of the arms dealership because that's where his dad matthew mcconaughey's dad is the guy that kind of led him into this he wants to open a movie chain or something like that they open that kind of says he's out of the game and then boom he's like i want to get into the cocaine business he had already stopped talking to the feds because he started talking to the feds when he's 14 or something like that. Like he was a 14-year-old arms trafficker in Detroit. It's a good story. He's still in jail.

He gets out in 2020, I think. December. December 2020. He was served life in prison, though. First interview right here. White boy Rick? Yep. I mean, that guy's been in a cage for 30-some years.

I don't know how he's going to be. You never know. Oh, wait. There's another fucking um exhibit a on netflix have you seen this no i've heard a lot about it though you saw it no like i saw like on the tile okay i watched it oh you saw that it existed you know that exhibit a exists i saw yeah as an option as an option yeah i watched it the first one is about video and how unreliable it is yeah like video is always the answer in all these crimes and shit and when it first started being

everywhere like they were just using it as as gospel but then in this particular guy's case his name's george something he's in uh texas he's in jail i don't know if he got out of jail they didn't show the ending but he got fucked over he's six foot four and there was an armed, four armed robberies and everybody in the, in the grocery stores was like, this guy was like five foot eight, but he looked like this guy who was a menace to the cops in town. So the cops pinned it on this guy and they even use video footage saying it was him. And in the video, he walks out of the convenience store, you know, they always have the, or out of the gas station station they always have like the height thing and they they had this specialist who wasn't really a specialist he was just a local guy that basically stretched him from five eight to at

least six one because he was walking with his knees bent and since he was a state witness the jury was like oh this guy wouldn't lie to us and bang they used the video and the state witness to say he was at least six foot four when all the eyewitnesses were like no this guy's five foot eight so this guy's been sitting in jail for like 20 years yeah this guy's been sitting in jail for like 20 years and now they reopened the case and they never talked whether or not he got out which is the case where we always we always talk about it here about the investigators like uh making the evidence fit their theory it's theory or their suspect. Yeah, that's all they're doing.

I dealt with some in video. My buddy Pete was actually really far trained in that. I don't know if you call it an art because it's not a science. It is. There was an expert in there who's been doing it for 30 years. He went to the FBI schools. I went to a couple of schools to help him with some stuff, and there's a lot to it.

I mean, you've got to recreate it with the same cameras like you would want to bring in someone of people of different heights and have them retrace those steps and reshoot those people yeah from the same angle yeah they never did that but they did uh the new because they're trying to reopen this case almost like the making a murderer or whatever that is. They're reopening the case. This guy, good for him. He's been in jail for 20 years. They took a 3D image of him. The new technology. It was like this little thing. It looked like a SimpliSafe camera.

And he just made a 3D image of him, put him in the video itself, and he's towering over the guy. And they're like, this is obviously an episode. But I still don't know if he's out of jail. I still don't know if this guy's out of jail. I think he's still in jail. It's crazy to think if this stuff would never come out,

those guys would just rot in jail forever. Forever. Oh, yeah. That guy, 20 years, I mean. Yeah. Life is already ruined because of it. So much bad science has gone through law enforcement and it's blocked up so many people.

Well, it's science in general. There's been a lot of bad science. We talked about it last week the food pyramid right and i had some science teacher tell me how i was wrong about pangea hey tell me what's in that book brother you're fucking because that's what we're here to talk about because those books have been spot on in the past i think that's what we're all learning now 2019 is the year of learning that the books that we read as kids especially the science ones 100 accurate oh yeah that's what we've been learning yeah that fucking science teacher i hope you're listening

right now that guy i actually responded i should have responded to him i appreciate that he's teaching the kids it's not an easy job being a teacher i respect it you're not getting paid great right you have to deal with other people's problems. You're supposed to teach these people whatever, blah, blah, blah. It's very hard. But I don't need your brainwashed ass coming in and telling me why I'm wrong. You're doing a part of the fucking brainwashing. You're part of the

problem we have. You're the reason why the food pyramid's been flipped completely upside down and eliminated an entire category. Because of what you were teaching. I feel like you should have to start off every class with all right this is what we know right now allegedly this could change tomorrow it should just be take it for whatever we should sell shirts it says science allegedly it's crazy man it is like what do you know you know nothing anymore well they're also just teaching people who aren't smart enough to formulate their own opinion on the subject yet.

That's the world we live in, though, right? Yeah, exactly. When I was on Bob and Tom, I was very lucky to be on Bob and Tom for a lot of years. Tom Griswold came up to me after my second show, I think, and he said, you're very lucky, Pat. And I said, I know. I got a chance to be on the show. It's very nice of you to take it out. Fuck the show.

You're able to formulate your own opinion, which is not something that is often in this world anymore, basically. Something along those lines. That's a good point, yeah. Which is true. The more and more you learn, there isn't the ability to form your own opinion anymore. It's almost like, all right, these people are experts, so-called experts. Let me hear what they say, and then now that's my opinion.

And then this person's expert, which is smart, by the way. You've got to learn from somebody. You have to learn from somebody. But, man, we're in the world now where you have to filter through so much shit it's difficult i don't know how my kids are going to do it but also when you form your own opinion there's going to be 27 different groups of people mad at you too oh yeah it's a gift and a curse it's a gift and a curse that science teacher is not happy with what yeah it's like in that case just because someone tells you something that the way things were it doesn't mean you shouldn't question it either even if it's been proven right by hundreds of

people that doesn't mean you shouldn't question it that was the line actually from that video guy he said that that video camera is a witness it should be examined and questioned as well he said that's something that doesn't get thought about is that that video camera is just another witness it should be questioned as well and he showed a video of something because all the video is they broke this down like four different times about how it's just a bunch of still frames, right? A video is just a bunch of still frames. Depending on how many frames per minute it is,

it can tell you a whole different story. And they showed this video of this gun shooting 10 shots, and it only showed two shots because of the still frames. It was an automatic gun, and it shot 10 shots in reality, but the one particular camera, like one of the original cameras, only showed two shots. Because of the frame rate particular camera like one of the original cameras only showed

two shots because the frame rate yeah because the frame rate wasn't fast enough to keep up with the gun so they were like so if somebody says oh there's 10 shots fired and then you see the video and it's only two shots right you're like well this guy's lying then right when really the frame just couldn't keep up with the gun so it was very intriguing to watch exhibit a i enjoyed it it's cool and that now i guess because they're realizing this too within the forensic world of law enforcement like they will refer i've heard it referred to as a video interrogation instead of a video analysis and they do that with cell phones when i was in that game you call it like when you looked into cell phone records or the actual device itself

they would call it a cell phone uh or electronic device interrogation you did a lot of that that was none of your thing yeah because there's no absolutes just you got you got to look at it from you know every angle possible you know you can't just take your first look and say oh this is what happened bro i watched dateline and i got figured out as soon as i see a one surveillance video it's that fucking guy right there. Hey, by the way, in my science books, Pluto is a planet. Yes. Me too, bro. And I bet that teacher that was telling me about this plate tectonic shit, hey, bub,

how many years did you teach kids that Pluto was a planet? Hey, you liar. Exactly. Hey, I ain't lying to nobody. Yeah. It went from pizza pies to pies. What? My very earnest mother just served us nine pies. Is that the member of the planets?

Yeah. Really? Right. Is there two Ps? Roy G. Biff. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. We lost the P. That's my bad. It's a rainbow, bro.

It's the wrong thing. It's in the sky. Roy G. B. It's a rainbow, bro. It's the wrong thing. It's in the sky. Roy G. Biv is also a guitar, right? Really? No. There's something on a guitar, too. I'm thinking of the strings. G.

I can't remember off the top of my head. There's something with the strings as well. I remember there was Every Good Boy Does Fine. Yes, that's what it is. Every Good Boy Does Fine. That's the guitar, right? Yeah, E-G-B-D-F. No, because there's no F.

Maybe depending on certain tuning. Maybe not your ability. Me and Block Dad, we play the F string all the time. There's something. Every good boy does. That is something for something. Maybe that was the recorder. It could have been. It could be. It could be the recorder. There was an F note. Every good boy does fine. What was the recorder. It could have been.

There was an F note. What was it? You just fucking get down? You just got down on that? You needed it for hot cross buns, right? I saw somebody playing the recorder on TV and I lost it. I was like, somebody stuck with that fucker. Was that the most useless skill in history?

That's the most given up instrument of all time. Of all time. That's for reading music. Those are the lines on up instrument of all time. Of all time. Oh, that's for reading music. Those are the lines on a sheet of paper for music, like notes. Of course. We knew that. EGBDF. Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally. That's math.

Please. P-E. Oh, that's the way you do it. Multiply, divide. I learned from that. I never learned that one. See, that was something new from your generation. Parentheses. What's E?

Equals. Exponent. Exponent. Exponent, yep. Multiply, divide. My. Add, subtract. And silly.

Isn't it incredible how none of this matters? It's incredible. None of it matters. Because I got a little fucking alien thing in my pocket i got a little alien thing in my pocket that i just type in thanks mr laser go excuse me like look we just looked at what we thought were recorder notes and he typed into his machine his robot over there and they're like no you fucking dumb human that's how you read music dude that's insane my kids they going to be little pricks. They're not going to be as well-behaved as that one human on the plane.

But my kids are just going to walk into that school, and they're going to be little assholes. I know it. They're going to be terrible kids. They're going to be horrendous to deal with. That's why I'm going to send them to school early. Smart. So I don't have to deal with them.

That's a good idea. Which is another reason why teachers should be paid more, because they have to deal with a lot of people's problems and granted you get every holiday off and summers you signed up for it too you knew what you're gonna get paid but you do deserve more money for what you have to deal with just like police officers military everybody yeah but you're right you signed up for that so you knew what was coming you knew what was coming and you were considered a hero in high school when you said you were going to be a teacher so those years of being praised while i was getting knocked down for saying i'm going to be a professional athlete all kind of come back and bite you in the ass when you're putting Facebook statuses up about getting paid more and shit.

I get it. But you deserve it. You do deserve to be paid more. I completely agree, especially now that I'm around children more often. I've never been around kids as much as I have been recently. And boy, teachers do not get paid enough. I would like that to be known. I don't know what it is.

They deserve more. My kids are going to be terrible. I don't know what it is. They deserve more. My kids are going to be terrible, though. They're going to walk into that class. I know. If they have any little particle of my brain in their brain and somebody says something, I just go, it doesn't fucking matter. I'll type it right into here and I'll get an answer from Mrs. Siri. Sorry, since it's a sexist.

Siri's only a woman, which I think they're changing, by the way. They are. I think you can make it whatever you want, right? On the Waze app, DJ Khaled's giving us another one that's my favorite turn right ahead another one that guy that's a tough line though i'll probably get heat for this but you know it's everybody deserves more money i mean you know i mean it's like i want everybody to be rich yeah i mean like if you carry hard for a living for a brick like you deserve more money. I mean, you know what I mean? It's like- I want everybody to be rich. Yeah, I mean, like if you carry a hod for a living, for a brick, you deserve more money. That's a very hard job.

What if you're roofing? Everybody can't make more money. What if you're roofing? Yeah. How about construction workers? Nurses definitely. Yeah, military people. I mean, just where does it end?

Everybody deserves more money. Sometimes maybe you make what you're supposed to make. I understand America's in debt. We're in pretty big debt. With who? I don't exactly know. I guess China? Yeah, debt. We're in pretty big debt. With who? I don't exactly know. I guess China? Yeah, China.

We're in debt with China? Mm-hmm. What if we just went over there and went, we're even? What if we did that? What would happen? Is there anything that would,

I guess a war would happen? We'd probably go to war, yeah, immediately. But they're never going to get that money back. They have to know that they're going to get trillions of dollars back. They have to know that they're going to get trillions of dollars back.

They have to know that. It's all fake money. So what do they do? Just hold it over our heads? Like, what happens? Just wait for their economy to collapse at some point, and then they, oh, yeah, well, you don't have to pay us because we need it now. Yeah, but I don't think it'll ever collapse because they just lie.

They only got like 14 people that matter in that country, and they all just lie about it. They're like, yeah, we're doing great. We're doing great. We're doing great. And that's all they got to say. Yeah. I don't think it's like a real economy.

If they owe us a favor, we owe them a favor, then, we're doing great. We're doing great. We're doing great. And that's all they got to say. Yeah. I don't think it's like a real economy. If they owe us a favor, we owe them a favor. Then you knock off some debt. Something like that. Diplomacy digs! It happened the day after tomorrow. The U.S. had to flee south because it was getting too cold and Mexico wanted their debt erased

with the U.S. and it happened. It is real. And we just started printing off money there for a while. Yeah. For a long time. Just started printing off money. It's easy to do. Just press the U.S. and it happened. It is real. And we just started printing off money there for a while. Yeah. For a long time. Just started printing off money. It's easy to do. Just press the button. It all ended up with El Chapo.

All of it. Still probably up in those mountains up there somewhere. How many American dollars do you think are up in El Chapo's mountains? Man. We were just talking about this

the other day. Zito, you know how he just pops up random questions every now and then? He's like, if you could ask El Chapo one question. Or Pablo Escobar. Or Pablo Escobar.

What question would you ask him? Like, where's the rest of the money at? It's going to be buried everywhere. It has to be. So much money, too. You know they lost track of it. Billions of dollars buried in the earth. But they found one of Chapo's houses

and it had some insane amount of just guns. It was on the walls and shit, too, right? Yeah, and it had guns worth, like, I don't want to say hundreds of millions of dollars, but I think it might be hundreds of millions of dollars. Total, for sure. They were all like plated with like diamonds and shit like that.

He's just like one of those guys that has too much money where instead of buying art, his art was these diamond plated guns in a Desert Eagle. Is that the most expensive gun? He had like a bunch of them, all gold-plated Desert Eagle guns. It's like those things will never...

Good Instagram photos. I think his son was. El Chapo's kid was a big-time flexer on the internet. I think he's still doing it. Good for him. El Chapo just taking everything by the way. Let his kid live. Hey, you're just flexing his Ferrari, bro. I'll go to jail. Is he ever going to get out of jail again?

No. No, I don't think so. After he got extradited, I think he's done. He'll find his way out somehow. There was a documentary about his arrest. I think I watched at one point. Yeah, wasn't it two actors? That was the main reason they got him?

It was a journalist. Sean Penn. Sean Penn, yeah. Sean Penn and that journalist, that female journalist that he was attracted to, he wanted to meet up with. Sean Penn. Sean Penn, yeah. Sean Penn and that journalist, that female journalist that he was attracted to, he wanted to meet up with. Oh, good move. There are so many documentaries and movies about Escobar and El Chapo on Netflix.

And when you go through them, I get so pissed because four out of every five are Spanish. So I'm like, God damn it. Yeah, Netflix is really hitting that international market, huh? I've heard, we talked about, I don't know if it's made the show or not, if we've cut it out, but we've talked about here ad nauseum. There you go. Oh, good one. Well done.

Hey. Netflix is about to lose in America. Yeah, I think so. Netflix is about to lose in America, I guess. Which is weird because only the netflix originals will survive on netflix right yep pretty much which adam sandler yeah so banger that's still a hundred dumping movie money into the originals which they should right because everybody's gonna have their own subscription service every human ever not human maybe even

humans at some point i think everybody's gonna end up having their own subscription service and you said time warner is about to buy up everything? Yeah, so it's going to be called HBO Max. And I mean, they're just, for one, their movie catalog is much bigger than anyone else's outside of like Disney. What is it? It's Time Warner, AT&T, HBO. Yeah, and then they own, I think, a big chunk of like Viacom,

which owns a bunch of channels. So every series that's out. Jersey Shore, bro. Yeah, exactly. NBC, ABC, all that stuff. I mean, that's available on basically any on-demand. But those shows aren't going to be able to be on other streaming platforms anymore. Those will go off on-demand, though, probably, too, right?

Those will probably all just live on their own. I would assume so. I think so. I think on- is going to be gone. DirecTV wants every four years. Yeah, Disney's got its own coming too. So that's going to have every Marvel property, every Star Wars feature, everything like that. And that's probably where ESPN will head, right?

With live stuff. ESPN Plus. Do they own NBC or ABC? Who's that? Disney? Oh yeah. ABC, Fox they own now. Oh, God. And they own ESPN. How is that monopolizing? ESPN 2, ESPN Ocho, ESPN U, ESPN 20. ESPN Classic.

ESPN Ocho. How are they not getting in trouble for this, like for monopolizing TV, essentially? Because I'd assume Viacom also is in the game. Yeah, because it's not a monopoly. A monopoly is only when you're the only one in the biz. But they're trying to, essentially, right? Yeah, I think every company that's that big is trying's not a monopoly. A monopoly is only when you're the only one in the biz. When they're trying to, essentially, right? Yeah, I think every company that's that big is trying to become a monopoly.

They're trying to be... It is crazy. I mean, AT&T and Time Warner went through a long lawsuit over that, over potentially becoming a monopoly. Percentage of the market share. It's crazy to me. Pigs get fed. Hogs get slaughtered.

But these big companies, they try to gobble up everything, which I guess is smart i don't know and it's easier for something like that because it's just like finite pieces of content that they're buying like they're just buying a bunch of movies and a bunch of like rights to stuff so like a lot of that stuff isn't even out there yet it's just if they ever decide to make it disney owns the rights to it facebook Facebook will send me a DM every once in a while. It would be an email, actually. And I have my notifications off. So Zuckerberg slips through the cracks.

About becoming a subscription. My Facebook page becoming a subscription page. Oh. And I never inquire about it. But I always find it interesting that Facebook is going to turn into a subscription service, probably. I didn't even know they were doing that. Yeah. I got offered the opportunity to potentially become a subscription service. Do you get to like set the price on it and everything?

I have not even inquired. Cause if you click on that, I mean, the only thing that's going to show up in my timeline is just on Instagram and Facebook. It's going to be like, do it, do it,

do it. It's going to be like the Truman show where they're like, the best place to be is home. You know what I mean? Like you got to really watch what you decide to click on on those things now like you really have to watch like okay do i want my timeline to be filled with this kid breaking his leg because it's gonna happen if i if i even think i'll watch the video for like a half a second i'm like get the fuck off of there i don't want that to for the rest

of the day it's almost like i'm scrolling with paranoia i'm like if i stop and watch something zuckerberg knows and he's just to flood my timeline with it and my life is not going to be able to exist without it. It's like you've got to really prepare for what you stop and look at. You're like, okay. Alright, I've got NXT coming up in a couple weeks. Let me click on this NXT thing. Alright, now I'll let Zuckerberg flood me

with everything I need to know. Let me do my research. Zuckerberg, thank you, buddy. Okay, what have I got next? I'm going to Hawaii. Let me click on this Hawaiian photo real quick. Alright. Now I've got beach photos and history lessons about hawaii i'm like zuckerberg you're like a fucking research guy for me i appreciate your little tag team but if you use that in a positive way it's good but i think those people's lives are getting ruined where they're only seeing like-minded things just showing up on their timeline that's it like if they like this okay this guy likes this particular thing let's go ahead and just flood his life with only this thing.

So this guy lives in just this bubble forever. And that's a scary thought, how much they know about you. It's incredible. Like, today I was trying to Amazon Prime Day. It got canceled, by the way, Sam, if you're listening. It's a shame that that happened. Everything that I clicked on in Amazon then showed up in my Instagram feed. I got a text from Sam this morning.

It wasn't a good morning. It wasn't anything. It was just happy Amazon Prime Day. And I knew that would be one thing for old Sam's on. This whole house is about to get fucking redone. I've been dealing with it all day, too. I got one there. Do we need an Alexa?

And I'm like, I'm indifferent. I don't know. I can tell she's just scrolling through. Watch on special. You don't. You don't. I have one. I only use it for a timer.

Alexa set timer. That's the only thing I've ever used. What I don't like about Amazon is once you buy something and then you go to Amazon again, like two days later, it shows you all the same things that you just bought. It's like, no, I already have that. You know I bought it. Use your algorithm to algorithms reconfigure and show me other things that would go with that that would be cool similar jeff bezos needs to catch up bro yeah yeah show me similar items all right if you want me to go on a shopping spree on your app fuck give me a little

similar things actually i've never been on there by the way don't what don't do it i'm not supposed to be on him don't do it no you're not i am i am a window actual shopper and everybody knows that's a problem the truck i have was the truck that was lifted up on the No, you're not. I am a window actual shopper, and everybody knows that's a problem. The truck I have was the truck that was lifted up on the platform that you're not supposed to buy. Give me that. Everything. I got a 3D TV because it was the one you walk into Best Buy, and they say, this is the one we want you to buy. I'm like, yep, give me those fucking glasses.

I'll take this one. Are you sure? Nobody else has bought it. Yep, even more so. The Google geofencing for marketing is incredible. As soon as you walk in a store? Yeah, walked into uh bob's uh furniture place you already saw bob yeah that's chicago bob walked around for a while but i had my google account i was logged into it and so location services is working against me or whatever and i leave and then my feed's just fucking

filled with couches and beds after that. I got new locks for the house coming. Pretty new locks, I guess we bought on Amazon today. Oh, well, you need those.

Yep. Got a new pair of shoes coming, I guess. Yeah, you're gonna need those. I'm sure we got a bunch of new appliances, too. Can you buy those on Amazon? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a whole new fucking You can buy groceries on Amazon. You can buy it. Prime day. Ben's just making another I just bought a new set of steak knives.

I got a LifeStraws and trying to keep up with digs and a Flint. Hold on, Cutco? No, no, they're not Cutco, but... Oh, I love Cutco. You gotta get Cutco. We're on a budget here. I gotta get the Flint now. I feel like I'm behind.

What's the new grill? Just get a lighter, bro. Everybody's getting... Traeger Grill? The Traeger Grill. Yeah, it's been all of my fucking days. I gotta get one of those. That's because Sean Latham.

Like 5,000 bucks. Is that the one he had in his video? Yeah, it's been all of my fucking videos. I got to get one of those. That's because Sean Latham. Like 5,000 bucks. Is that the one he had in his video? Yeah, it's because Sean Latham. That is why the Traeger Grill is showing up in all of our feeds because of Sean Latham. Damn you, Sean. What, an air fryer? Do you have an air fryer? Yeah, I do.

You got to have an air fryer. Love it. The fuck's an air fryer? Oh, you'll love it. Fries your food, but without oil. Yeah. It's healthy. You use convection.

It's healthy. It's incredible. Like, I could put a fried chicken in there? It's like vaping your food. Yep. Really? I made wings in there. Delicious delicious i dropped the vitamins thing on wwe oh did you i was on wwe now during the day and shane mcmahon's thing is he goes uh he calls himself the best in the world but he makes the ring announcers uh announce it and he makes them hold for a long time like a long time

and Mike Rome who's one of the ring announcers was hosting the show and on my way out I said Mike Rome let me tell you you're the best in the and I went for it for a long time and then at the end my voice just cut out it just stopped working

I was like too many vitamins and I just walked off the camera and I was like, ah, too many vitamins. And I just walked off the camera. And I was like, oh, this is WWE. I think vitamin B caused me to cut that out. No, no, it's TH in the C. It was a wild day. How much money do you think Bezos' ex-wife gets off Prime Day? Or do you think that money's all done for?

I think she's our... No, no. Did she keep a percentage? I wonder. Probably. I don't know. That would have no. Did she keep a percentage? I wonder. Probably. I don't know. That would have been smart. Yeah.

That would have been smart. Because the $40 billion wasn't enough. If Vince... Oh, I know. The fucking pet detective. You can get $30,000 or a percentage of the company. Wow, this movie's going to suck. Give me that $30,000, bro.

If they had Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, she would have got a percentage of the company. Yeah, you're right. Because they would have made him put her swords away. Yep. you're right. Because they would have meant to put her swords away. Yep. You're right. It's wedding season. Oh, yeah. How you doing, Zeke? Doing good. You know, I feel healthy. I've only been eating one meal a day. Really? I feel strong. That's not healthy.

It is. Yeah, it is. Don't worry about it, Nick. This is, by the way, super negative, Nick. You don't need Nick. He's usually on my side on this. No, he's never on your side. Never once been on your side. I don't think I've ever been on your side. What happened to you there? I might be less food.

Have you lost any weight? I think I have. I haven't weighed myself in. I think I have. I think I'm going to be against scales. I think they're lying. Okay, you think scales are kind of rigged against you. Yeah.

Just you or all people? It might be big scale going against me. They don't want you to feel good. Yeah. They don't want you to have that positive. They want me to buy a new one on a prime day. Yeah. Fucking Jeff Bezos is sending a signal to your scale saying, hey, get a new scale.

I do feel healthier in these jeans. I've been having a problem to fit in. I actually fit pretty comfy. Here we go. Really? I haven't tried the jacket yet. The jacket's like the last test. Is that the jacket you're wearing to the wedding?

Yeah, yeah. Are you wearing jeans to the wedding? No, that was one of my first levels. What did you eat for dinner last night? Nothing. What did you have for lunch? Taco Bell. What was yesterday?

Sunday. Sunday? Have you had the Burger King tacos yet? Oh, no. I want to so bad. Taco Bell released a new thing, too. It's horrible timing. But yesterday, oh, wings from, what's it called? Oh, no. I want to so bad. Taco Bell released a new thing, too. It's horrible timing. But yesterday... Oh, wings from

what's it called? Kill Roast. Your Keto Zito. I'm actually at Wingles almost every day. And? Jalapeno breadstick. That got out of me really quick, though. No, no. You're not Keto. Keto, you literally cannot have a breadstick. I told them to make it Keto-friendly. The breadstick? The bread stick. Yeah, I don't're not keto. Keto, you literally cannot have a breadstick. I told them to make it keto friendly.

The breadstick? The bread stick. Yeah, I don't know what they did, but they said it was keto. Did they? Oh, yeah. I feel like either you were lying to me or people were just walking around aimlessly lying to you. I think both. Hashtag wedding season zeet still happening. Still taking

applicants. They still show up on my timeline. There's a couple guys that I think you should take. There's a lady who wanted to go with you. I know. She's part of the front runners for sure. She said she's a great wing lady. Great wing lady. I saw one guy had a campaign going.

He was like, day four, wedding season Zeet. Here we go. I like that guy. That's a good guy. Foxy, you like him better than you? I mean, he's way more committed than I am. 100%. One thing I love about Zeed's commitment,

though, he actually has that jacket sitting right in the living room so he has to walk by it every single day. I like that. I gotta fit in that thing. But you don't go home.

Good point. You should put that thing up by the Twitch stream. That's a good point. Right behind me at all times. Twitch.tv forward slash the Pat Mackey Show.

Yep. You played with Turtle the other day? We stood him up. You stood Turtle up? No, it was kind of a conflict issue, but yeah. Basically. Made me sound better, I guess.

Did you even reach out to him? Like, hey man, something else came up? A fan of the show tweeted at me and Zetan, added him, and he liked the comment. So there's something there. Is it him or is it his people? Might be his son. I don't know. He has a kid?

Is it Mystic? He has a kid? Fuck you. For those that don't know he has a kid is it mystic his kid for those for those that don't know zito has a twitch stream he streams every night for about seven eight hours every single night he conned me into paying for him to basically have a game session with his friends every night live from the office which we have very good internet here we have we have very good everything here he has a computer that he got that's not from us lights are on all night lights are on all night i mean we're paying for this twitch stream that has been has made money has not been profitable okay if we're gonna do a green black red situation it's been very red

come on still operating in the red the most red operation we've ever had here. Can I throw something out here real quick? Steve Jobs worked in the red until like two years before he died. So you have the iPhone. You have the iPod of the Twitch troops. Yes. Of course you do. Of course you do.

Anyways, he conned me into doing this, and he does it every night. And his commitment is next level. He doesn't really care how good the entertainment level is. But he does play every single night and I would say this. I've watched a couple nights. He's been doing it for now. For how long? Oh, 13 months. Over a year. I've watched a few times. It is very entertaining.

The highlights are entertaining. But you're the most negative winner I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, it feels so good to win You got rubbed in their faces It was actually funny He literally screams fuck you suck it when he wins Instead of like a yes or like a victory Or I'm happy

It's the complete opposite It's the most negative victory I've ever seen in my entire life I had a clip out there Twitch actually banned it because I was too negative and toxic You've been banned from Twitch? No it because I was too negative and toxic. You've been banned from Twitch? No, it was just like a video. They just like muted it because I was like too late.

You're getting shadow banned by Twitch? Is that why only 14 people are watching this? You're shadow banned? I didn't know we have like a strike against this. I got to stop calling people out by their names. I think that's like the thing. That's probably bad. Yeah, I only know Mystic from a video, which is a 12-year-old kid.

It's pinned to my fucking Twitter. Oh, it's pinned. That's probably bad. Yeah, I only know Mystic from a video, which is a 12-year-old kid. It's pinned to my fucking Twitter. Oh, it's pinned. That's your top tweet, telling a teenager to suck it. Yeah, I don't think he's a teenager. That's just a video game. You are a terrible viewer. You should watch it, though. I guess it's entertaining, and it could help Zito potentially

carry this Twitch stream into the future yeah because there's a lot of question marks on the future there's a funny thing after this i have a phone call with a sponsorship for the twitch stream really i didn't know that yeah how are you gonna fuck up that call i have really a lot they want me to bring numbers we get anywhere from 14 to 100 million viewers you go you live views. So live views, it's like a thousand. I'm anywhere from a thousand to a hundred million. That's the number that I was told. Me and Foxy were pitched a hundred

million. Written on a whiteboard. Hundred million is how many people are on Twitch. We need to get involved, says Zito. And here we are, 36 viewers later. We need to kiss the ring. We got to find the ring to kiss. I hope he gets a sponsorship. What's a sponsorship? Who is it? I don't know.

I should say it yet. What? Yeah, say it, because if they say no, we'll... Oh, Patriot Viper. What is that? Patriot? Patriot Viper. They do headphones, computer equipment, and keyboards.

Oh, okay. And I use the headphones right now, so that's why I reached out to them. Oh, you reached out. They didn't reach out to you? No. But I said it. So we're already behind the ball in leverage in negotiation. We're at a point of desperation here, which we are, by the way,

because you're operating in the red. I will tell you right now, I live off the Hail Mary pass. No matter what game we're playing, anything, I live off the Hail Mary. Your life. Your life is a Hail Mary pass. Exactly. It's still in the air, but we'll the Hail Mary. Your life. Your life is a Hail Mary. Exactly. It's still in the air, but we'll see what happens. Yeah.

Hopefully somebody will catch it. How do we feel going in? Have you done your research on your numbers? What are you going to pitch to them? Have they sponsored other people? What is their normal response? Is it just merch? Are they just going to give you another pair of headphones and expect something out of

you? What are you going to do? Usually these kind of deals, I think it's a code. So basically how many people can use the code, blah, blah, blah. See, but that puts you behind the eight ball because you tell people about a company they might forget about your code and still sign up so now you're getting fucked still by your advertising and they're getting a benefit from it i've had a couple companies pitch that to me and i tell them to sit on it so i should tell them to sit on it i think you are at a point of desperation you

should take that conflict interest issues he know. Conflict interest. Issues, he said. Not conflict of interest. He said conflict issues. CI. Yeah, yeah. CI, bro. Yeah, CI.

I think they're going to give you another pair of headphones to call it a day. Yeah, I'm all for a keyboard. I really need a keyboard. Let's get a keyboard out of him, man. That's what I'm trying. Patriot Viper?

Patriot Viper. That's a fake name. Yeah, that's a... Did you look it up? No, I didn't. No, man. That's what I'm trying. Patriot Viper? Patriot Viper. That's a fake name. Yeah. Do you look it up? No, I didn't. No, no. Couldn't care less. Yeah, I don't think anybody even moved.

That's how little faith we have in that. We've done negotiations with companies a couple times now. And Phil, what does he title it as? Immaterial. Immaterial. Immaterial possession. Immaterial. Immaterial. We've got to go through

books with companies. You want to go through our books because every time we say the money that we make and we pay, a lot of people laugh, obviously. Phil, our CFO, has to have all these things lined up. Every time we get to the point of the meeting where it's time for Phil to go through the numbers, I can't wait for him to get to one particular section

and it's the immaterial. They always go, excuse me. Their CFO is trying to out CFO Phil. And then I was like, the numbers look good here. What's the immaterial? And Phil always gets very excited. He's like, oh, that's our Twitch stream. The guy's name is Jose.

It's cost us a lot of money, but we think in the back end we could potentially make money off it. I always go, let's stop right there. That one's never going to make us any money. But it does generate just a tiny bit of revenue once every six months, and that's what we're looking for. And some joy.

And some joy. Hey, that's priceless there, that Twitch. A couple good laughs. You can't put a price tag on it. You can't. Zito doesn't even go home anymore because he just stays here. Nope. Foxy didn't see you one time the entire weekend.

Nope. I see him here. Thought you went to Chicago. I actually did. I said, Foxy, where's Zito? He was like, I think he went home to Chicago. We literally had dinner, Fox. That is not true. I saw you Sunday at 2 o'clock

and it was not at the pub. Oh, that was lunch. I apologize. Yeah. Oh, wise. It was my dinner. That's great. Speaking of dinner, a man that ate a lot of food in a very short time. He's been crowned the greatest eater of all time. Stopped by Heartland Radio last week, but the interview caused quite a scene.

TMZ, actually, I think. I mean, we potentially caused a pop culture riff here. And just know that Kobayashi's not happy with this conversation you're about to hear. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us now, residing in San Jose, California, weighing in at a stout 220 pounds. Standing at a staggering 6 foot 1 inch. He is a 12 time 12 time

12 time Nathan's hot dog eating champion Joey Oh wait, and? The owner of a new sauce company that is gonna take over the country

Joey the world's greatest eater Chestnut thank you great to be here again I feel like your weight potentially fluctuates from like 280 to I get chubby as hell again. Hey, I feel like your weight potentially fluctuates from like 280 to... I know, dude.

I get chubby as hell. World's Greatest Eater is a hell of a title to have. I'm super lucky, yeah. Everybody's an eater. Literally every human on ETH Not everybody's ever tried to hit a home run. It's a lower percentage. But I also left out there, you're an American icon, and we're very thankful that you joined

us, man. You got a chance to do our, well, not you got a chance. We were very lucky you did it. No, I was lucky. It was a party and a half. You did our New Year's Eve show last year. I think it was two years ago. Two years ago.

And I called you. I was like, hey, is there any way? You're like, I think I'm going to be in town I called you I was like hey is there any way you're like I think I'm going to be in town actually I was like man stop by the show so we started talking about things you could do I was like I feel like it's going to be a party it's New Year's Eve is there any drinking things you can do and I was like maybe you drink like

six or he was like maybe you try twelve twelve pints of beer in 75 seconds that might be your greatest accomplishment by the way of all time Maybe we'll try 12. 12 pints of beer in 75 seconds. That might be your greatest accomplishment, by the way, of all time. And I know I could do it faster. I was making a little bit of a mess. It was a hell of a crowd.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was intense. And I loved it. I don't know if you remember this or not, but we were backstage. We were getting ready for getting your pints ready and stuff. And I was like, Joyce, what do you do when you get off stage? Just go gag yourself and throw up real quick? And you're like, no. And I'm like, you're going to be fucked. And I was like, Joyce, what do you do when you get off stage? Just go guide yourself and throw up real quick? And you're like, no.

And I'm like, you're going to be fucked up. I was like, yeah. That was shithouse. So I was like, oh, I need some sugar. I ended up having a Fanta later. It was like I was teleporting because I lost time. If it means anything,

everybody in there was very thankful for your performance, including all of us in here. It was awesome I was teleporting because I lost time. If it means anything, everybody in there was very thankful for your performance, including all of us in here. It was awesome to see. I mean, and all you've done since then is just represent America in beautiful fashion. I'm a lucky dude. I've somehow found a way to get paid to eat and then beat people at the same time. It's just goofy. Not just beat people.

Like this July 4th, you were what? Went by 21? Oh, I fucked them. I was like, oh, I'm trying to get the record. Then I was like, oh, I'm up by, like, 20. It's, like, really hard to keep going. It's hard. But there's, like, 40,000 people in the heat.

And they've been in the heat for, like, hours. And I feel bad not giving them a record. But I got lazy. Is it? Okay. Because it is not a comfortable thing. No, hell no, it's not comfortable. It's like marathon running is not comfortable.

They like crap their pants in a marathon, and they look like they're going to die. And so that's the way I kind of just model everything. They work up to 26 miles. I work up to my 70-something height. So, but whenever there's nobody pushing you. Yeah, you said you're up 20. That's hard to keep going, right?

It's hard, but the crowd is there. It's my job. It's 4th of July. That's what people are expecting. They're expecting Joey Chestnut to come out here and just slam hot dogs. Go as hard as you can. I'm not going to

go halfway. Can you even enjoy a hot dog anymore outside of competition? I had one today for the first time. Really? And I was excited. I'm not dunking this in water. I'm going to put some mustard on it. I'm going to have a simple, my own speed. Did you eat it very?

Yeah, I was eating it slow. Was that difficult? Slow for you or slow for you? It was probably faster than most people, but I was enjoying it. Yeah, I enjoy a good hot dog. Oh, beef hot dog? Oh, yeah. Oh, good.

Have you always been a super competitive person? Because I watched the 30 for 30 with you just mentally destroyed Kobayashi. I wasn't that competitive growing up. I grew up in a big family, and it didn't really go into like – there were four boys in the family, and they were like – the two older boys would kick our asses and everything the little the younger brothers and i mean every kind of sport and fighting and we would just get our asses kicked and the only thing me and my little brother could do is uh eat more than the older brothers it was like oh we're just three boys we're gonna eat more

than you and it bothered him we could tell it bothered the older brothers. Did you like the 30 for 30? It was a – I can't argue with it too much. It was very Kobayashi friendly. And he was very emotional. I felt like just like somebody should have said there's no crying in anything. But he liked to cry. They really played him to be the victim and I'm like

what are you supposed to do you're supposed to be him it's an eating contest you're not going to be on top forever I know somebody's going to come and probably annihilate me and either I'm going to get better or I'm going to say hey this guy he did me dirty and good job

I don't want to cry he showed me how not to lose. So do you guys have like really genuine bad blood then or not really? I don't hate him. I love beating him. I would pay money to compete against him, but he blocked me on Twitter. I saw where he's like eating there. They show him at these low level,

like local taco eating contest. Oh my God. He's doing like eating in alleys now. Like weird voyeur stuff. No, no, I do love him. I love,

I mean, he's the reason. Yeah, you need that. He's the reason why I got into it. He was the competitor, and it was fun beating him. The Rock needed Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's just the way it is the entire time.

You two kind of, I don't want to say put it on the map, but your battles were what intrigued you. They were epic, yeah. Yeah, that's what intrigued me. That's what intrigued everybody probably that's listening to the show. It's like, okay, we got an American now taking on Kobayashi. Here we go.

This is our guy. And it's, I mean, it is crazy to think about the way it's all been spun about you being a bad guy, basically. It didn't make me the bad guy,

did it? No, no. But there's definitely one you're supposed to feel bad for and one you're not supposed to feel. Like, you're not supposed to feel bad for you. I mean, you're a 12-time champion. Yeah, yeah.

You shouldn't feel bad for him either he he was he was the boss for a while he's gonna be the boss forever right is there a younger amateur like like do you have your eyes on a person that could potentially come and get you like is that is there like a underground that's like oh this guy he's in a triple a he's gonna fucking come and get it yeah he did 50 this year uh darren breeden and he's going to fucking come and get it. He did 50 this year. Darren Breeden. And he's like 6'3". And I'm worried about the guys who are that tall because they have the longer torso. And eventually a real basketball player is going to figure out how to get empty.

And then figure out how to push their body to a silly limit. So I worry about the people with the super long torso who can potentially have a ridiculous capacity. I thought of two questions while I watched this most recent one. When everyone gets introduced, there's like one fat guy out of all of you guys. You're all in pretty good shape somehow. Dude, it's changed over the years. Now they're like, I think third place was a power lifter. Even second place, that guy's super fit. I'm like the chubbiest one i'm like i don't and i'm

barely hanging on like i'm like i i only eat healthy so i can eat more it's so it's so screwed up and i only go to the gym so i can eat more and then everyone else who got introduced was like super happy super pumped up like they all had like a dance or something like that and then when you were introduced you look fucking miserable already like are you miserable before you start eating well i'm like a day and a half no solid food almost no calories i'm like weird stupid calorie deficit and i'm worried like it was hot so i was like oh i needed i wanted to drink water but i didn't want to drink water because i didn't want to be dehydrated and then uh and then i'm just trying to trying to go back to my happy place and ready to push my body to this stupid limit.

I mean, it's hard. And I'm kind of embarrassed how hard I push, but if I'm going to do it, I'm going to go all the way. You're the guy that's up the mountain, too, so there's a target right at you. Everybody's Super Bowl is going against Joey Chestnut, so that can kind of build up, I assume, just like any other sport or competition, I'd assume.

Yeah, these other eaters, they're going to watch what I'm doing, and they're going to try to improve on it. So I need to just blow it out of the water so hard. And any time they go against you, they tell stories about it forever. So that's like I got a chance to be on some very good football teams, and every time we played them, it was their best shot because it was their Super Bowl, right? Like when I was at West Virginia, everywhere we went,

it was primetime TV. It was their Super Bowl. They talk about it forever. When I was with Peyton, same thing. And now the Patriots have this. Anytime the Patriots play, it's like it's their Super Bowl. Remember, anytime somebody eats against you, and if they even have a glimmer of hope against you,

they're telling everybody they've ever met that I was within 20 hot dogs of joey chestnut one time yeah and that has to be something that you probably think about i'd assume that's all right they uh and i've lost contests that i probably shouldn't have lost there's like a donut eating contest i lost earlier this year and the guy he practiced his butt off for it and uh i was already practicing for hot dogs so i wasn't going to take time off a hot dog practice so he he came out he jumped into an early lead and i and i i got all flustered and panicked and i i just didn't i didn't even get near my world record he didn't even get near the record

for the donuts but uh he got the win is there different strategies for those oh yeah well you got to get the timing right of how much how many how much you're going to fill in your mouth before you have to take a drink of water really it's it seems like just as much as possible it's not you can't just do up as much as possible because then some of the muscles in your throat get tired. Has anyone died? Wait a minute. Has anyone choked?

Well, some of your muscles. So there is a full. Science. Hey, yeah, this sounds. I don't want to go as hard as I can because then the muscles in my throat get tired and then the food gets stuck. It starts sitting in the back of my throat

and I get nauseous. Do you get medical help for that? Do you have a medical professional help guide guide you or is this the way you feel your own body i you can feel it okay when i practice not eating as fast as i can in the beginning i can i can carry my my my pace longer so do you work out like your throat muscles oh Oh, yeah. It sounds really ugly. Go to the gym, bro. Oh, yeah. It's worse than the gym. No, but is there, do you, I'm sure people ask you in the competitive eating for like help or tips.

Oh, yeah. I'll give them tips, but I'm not going to give them all my whole plan. When you retire, will you? I might give them more of it. Might write a book and be like, this is how I did it. This is how I did it. And I have a really strong feeling like there's going to be somebody who, I mean, it's so young. It's like, remember the story about the four-minute mile?

They thought the human heart would explode. And as soon as one person did it, like four more people did it in the same year. And it's competitive eating. It's young. It hasn't been accepted for a long time. Well, and we're in a content creating generation where on 4th of July that's the only thing that's really buzzed about. So you're going to think that somebody,

any YouTubers, content creators are going to want to get into this because it's great content. So I do believe that it's probably going to grow and grow and grow, which is great to be the face of it, especially with that fucking belt. I know, the belt. They're not screwing around with this. It's made by the same guys who do the WWE belts.

The Wildcat belts. Wow. Joey, can you actually stand that up for the camera for me? You're the best. Look at that belt. That's a beauty. Hey, that is the same exact shape as the WWE championship. Yeah, they did not mess around.

You could knock somebody the hell out with it. Do they give out belts every year for all 12 times? Not all 12 times. They started getting better, and then there was Petro Bismol who got involved, and they put money in. So we were getting new money into it, and then they're like, oh, we'll give you a new belt every year. I was like, yeah, I was going to bring it back anyway.

Speaking of Pepto, what's the next 24 hours like after a competition? Oh, garbage. So I can tell right away if it's settling deep and I'm going to digest it. And then I can say, all right, I can stay calm. I just need to keep drinking water. I'm going to do my interviews, like 45 minutes, hour interviews, then talk to people. Then it's an hour bus ride back.

And it's just keep drinking water, stay awake, pass out, and then it's wake up and It's going to come in rounds. This past time, did it digest properly? Digested pretty well, yeah. I tried to go out later that night about 10, and I was feeling like crap. So I didn't make it out until like midnight. Warrior. What a warrior.

Are you allowed to, after say an hour, are you allowed to throw up after? I mean, you can, but it's so deep inside of you. It's hard. It's like, you gotta, you gotta,

and there's been times where like, I want to party quicker, where we're quickly. So like, I'm going to try to take some off the top. And like, oh, it's not moving.

Yeah, because the initial thought is, you put that down, there's a rule, and then you just puke it up. But you don't think about the body actually trying to digest it for you. Yeah, the only way you can actually get that much in is when you go in absolutely empty. So that's also – it's not really a trick.

It's just like I know how to stretch everything and make everything settle super deep. So then it started to move quick also. Like when I'm dunking the buns in water, it's not just water. It's warm water because it's breaking down the buns, helping those muscles relax, and then helping things just move along. So the flavor means nothing. Because I've tried the hot dog thing, and those buns in water, boy. They're gross.

No, it took a lot of practice to get used to it. It's no longer a bun to me. It's a sip of water that looks like a bun. Mentally, like, get over it. That is such a fucking classic mental test for yourself. Like, all right. You're not eating a dick. You're eating a dick.

Do you drink, like, gallons of water or milk like that to expand your stomach? Every morning, usually, I'm drinking. It might not even be a gallon. So I can get an idea how I'm doing because I'll do like 10 really good gulps. And usually, it's a little bit more than a gallon sometimes. And then morning of the 4th, I was like, ooh, things didn't stretch that well. So I knew I was going to be at my strongest. So I was a little bit worried.

Because I know I can do like 75 plus. It was just a matter of if everything's working the same way. Do you have practice rounds? Oh, yeah. Where you go as hard as possible speed yeah and it's slowly building up towards the fourth and more and more serious so it's like a fight camp yeah and then then i try not to make any gains and it's uh it's it's it's so silly the way i'm i try to model it after everybody else is like you look at like bodybuilder weightlifters they hit a muscle group and they let it recover i don't try i'm not doing a practice i can't do a practice anymore like it's like once every six days well i want to let you know like it's i think it's a

smart idea that you've been taking it this serious now that we got joey chestnut world's greatest fucking eater sauces this is genius by you oh it's good stuff i'm really happy with it it all worked out i mean it took a while. The people I was working with, they worked their butts off on it. Were you in the chemical lab? Oh, yeah. So in Eau Claire, we went to the factory and did the taste testings and

looked at the raw product, the spices, and I'm happy with it. This is awesome. So you go to the groceries right now? Yeah, it's in Kroger right now. Look at you. I walked through Kroger, and it was in prime placement, too. Right back next to the Mates. They are showing you.

I was like, oh, hey, look at Joey there. And it launched immediately after your 12th win. It was like right before it, and then I was like, oh, I'm going to come to Indianapolis. Did you feel any pressure to win because you knew you had a fucking sauce line coming up? I know, that would have sucked. People really invest in money money and you're like,

oh, you just fucked us hard. You're a loser. No, no, no. I put a lot of pressure. I mean, there's a lot of support from them, but I put pressure on myself. But when the next closest competitor is 20 hot dogs away, do you go in knowing that you're most likely going to win?

Yeah, I had a really good feeling. can't tell though with anything if you get cocky or complacent you're gonna get you're just nothing good's gonna come out of it what's the most you've done in a practice round oh i've done i've done 82 in practice so what's the difference so what is the difference some days you just got it like any athlete. I was in freaking California where there's no humidity, and I cooked the hot dogs, and they're fresh. Sometimes I made – so that one I made them super easy to eat. They were delicious hot dogs. Blow your load.

I was like, oh, yeah, these are fast. I could just feel it. And part of it was like I wanted to get them in, down, and feel comfortable with 82 hot dogs in the 10 minutes. So I knew it was going to be harder on the 4th of July, but I liked to have a couple easy practices. Yeah. You make it harder in a practice.

It's easier to get. Yeah. And then I have some harder practices too, just so that I'm aware of every variable there is. Man, this is like a real fucking science to you. That's awesome. You ever try to make it harder at yourself? Like have people throw

tennis balls at you or something like that while you're trying to do it? So it seems much easier come game time? I have a couple drunk friends over there yelling at me and being obnoxious.

They'd be like, eat it, eat it, eat it, suck it. I'm like, you motherfuckers, I'm going to kill you. We're here for Kobayashi, bitch.

Pearl Harbor what? Attaboy, Zeke. Attaboy, Zeke. It's incredible. Are hot dogs your best food? It's the biggest contest of the year, so I put the most work into it. But chicken wings I'm usually pretty good at without even putting work in. So it's the biggest contest of the year so it's uh i put the most work into it but chicken wings are usually i'm pretty good at without even putting work in so it's uh it's almost not fair i just have a decent method um what's your favorite thing to eat in competition oh hot dogs

i mean that's the biggest contest it's the one where like it it's competitive eating is weird and it's the only one where i don't have to like explain what what the hell i'm doing right you're like oh you're gonna eat so many chicken wings or so much uh grilled cheese weird, and it's the only one where I don't have to explain what the hell I'm doing. You're like, oh, you're going to eat so many chicken wings or so much grilled cheese sandwiches when it's hot dogs. There's a grilled cheese sandwich contest? There used to be. Do you remember that online casino? What is it? Golden Palace?

Oh, yeah. They used to hold it. It's a massive, massive contest. Remember they had the grilled cheese sandwich that looked like Jesus? Yes. Or Virgin Mary or something like that? Yeah, yeah, something yeah yeah so they'd bring that around and we'd do contests so that went on tour that went around tour we were going all around the country eating grilled cheese sandwiches it was like wisconsin had some sweet grilled cheese oh yeah it was it was awesome i know like you're obviously the best at it now and you have it down to a science but

when you first started i don't know if it's true now i just read it on wikipedia but I know you're obviously the best at it now, and you have it down to a science. But when you first started, I don't know if it's true or not. I just read it on Wikipedia. But in 2005, you're a college student, and you enter a fried asparagus eating. And you ate 6.3 pounds. Was that your first real contest? Something like that. Two weeks before that, I did a lobster eating contest. And I didn't want to do it.

My little brother signed me up to it. And he's like, Joe, you can do it. And they offer you the free hotel room if you actually go. It was at a casino. I was 21. I was like, fuck yeah, I'll go. I ended up tying for third and it got $250. I was like, dude, I got paid to eat.

This is like fucking crazy pills. I put some thought into the deep fried asparagus contest. I got the recipe. I cooked it up. and had a little practice. And then I had my brother and my mom and a couple of friends come right in the front and just kind of keep me calm. Because I'm a shy bastard. And they made me – because it's so weird to eat on stage in front of people.

It's something – like when you eat fast, you do it at home when you come home drunk or you're on your way to work it's not something you do at a restaurant and uh so they kept me calm and i just i dominated that contest when did you find out the science of it all like when did you start learning like okay i got a real i got a real a i got a real that's probably when you were like i got a gift at this yeah it was there was the natural like when i tied for i don't know tied i got i got third uh third at Fourth of July that year with 32 hot dogs. I was like, all right, I'm going to figure this out. I looked at Kobayashi, and he didn't look any different from anybody else. He's just a fit guy. And so I was like, all right, if he figured it out, I can figure it out.

And so I just started keeping – I kept a food journal of everything I was doing, whether it was eating or – Do you still have that journal? I have one of them, yeah. That's probably going to be worth some money. That thing's going to go on tour, by the way. It's like, dude. I feel like garbage, but then I do a practice contest, and I'm like, I didn't do that bad.

It's like, oh, I was empty, and then I recover faster. So it's not always – you don't have to be feeling good in order to do something good. How old were you? I was 21 when I got started. Is this your only real job? Right now, yeah. No, just in federal. No, no.

I got an engineering degree, and I worked in construction management. Smarter than everybody. And for a long time, I was like, I don't want to make it my full-time gig, because I was kind of embarrassed that I put that much work into engineering and I wasn't going to do it. But then I was like, dude, I'm getting paid to eat. I'm making people happy. And I get to beat people and travel. I was supposed to be going to New Orleans this weekend, but they have that storm going on.

Oh, yeah. But I get to travel to awesome places. Barry? No, it's not a real hurricane. It's a tropical storm. Might get to Catwoman But there's a little bit of There's a

Yeah some flooding It could be dirty there How many tournaments Are there a year? How many contests Are there a year? Everybody knows About the 4th of July

There's about 60 And I'm doing about 22, 23 of them They want you to come And they want me to go To all of them All different foods I get to pick my choice

Yeah What's the least favorite food? I've never done it. Oysters. I can't do raw oysters. It's just like eating. I don't know. You get all snots.

It's like a sick round of snots. You get all horned up, too. I haven't done it. How cool does it feel? Natural aphrodisiac. That's what she said. That's what she said. How cool does it feel to get in when you did and like be the first

real legend because i'm assumed when you're done competing you're going to be the godfather so like you're going to be the guy who's at every big thing yeah i mean i don't know you probably have your own challenge i assume it's the whole thing is nuts it's not something like pat you you grew up playing football. Sports, though. Sports. And you knew it was something you wanted. I was a bad nerd, and I knew I was going to be an engineer.

And then when I was 21, I did this first contest, and this whole thing was unexpected to me. So it's like, oh, my God, I know what a real job is like. I know what – and I just know how lucky I am. Wind instrument? Oh, a trumpet. Oh, nice. I just know how lucky I am. Wind instrument? Oh, trumpet. Oh, nice. I blow the shit out of you.

Does that help? Diaphragm. Does that help? I think it helps with controlling your breathing. Because in the eating contest, I have to really sneak in all my breaths. And it's very similar when you're playing an instrument. You have to breathe really quickly. You didn't even know you were preparing for this.

I didn't know. My dad was preparing me for my entire life. Then we would sneak away and we'd eat pizzas away from the family. Are you just fucked if you have a cold or a sinus infection? Yeah. Afrin is amazing, though. Afrin is... Is that stuff that you blow in there?

You hit it hard and it's like you can almost breathe through your ears. in there you hit it hard and it it's like you can almost like breathe through your ears that is the arch nemesis though is having uh stuffed nose oh stuffed nose it'll slow you down i mean if you want to do well you have to be able to breathe through your nose obviously a flu will get you yeah the flu and i don't know probably a couple yeah weird things have there been any serious injuries like stomach tearing and stuff happened no No. My doctor, she's like, dude, you're not going to hurt yourself as long as you're not really unhealthy. The only people who tear their stomachs are people who are on drugs. As long as you don't suffer a massive hernia, that's not going to happen if you're fairly fit. What if you drank like six or seven Red Bulls a day?

Well, I also have colitis and IBS. I think I'm kind of out on the competitive eating. Yeah, I don't know. It's a, yeah. This is hitting fire. Shit like a madman. Yeah, I already do. So I can't imagine what 50 hot dogs would add to it. I don't run very often, but when I get that look in my eye, I'm going. What's a standard human eat?

If I was to do that in 10 minutes, what would I get? That's a great question. I think you should be able to do at least 12. 12 to 15 or something like that? I think 12, yeah. 12 to 15. And you're also used to pushing yourself. I wouldn't be surprised.

Well, he can eat a lot, though. You're really not the average eater. I am an eater. Like you, I am an eater. I wouldn't be surprised if you got 18 your first try and then after you get it down once then you're more comfortable with it and then you do it again it's just it's that weird building intolerance i think that's what they should talk about more though whenever they show the clips of you putting up 71 or 74 or 82 or 75 75 is the record now right 74 74 74 is right 75 would break it so i think they should talk about like the standard human would do this just like they should

do in like the olympics whenever they show people run like this is what the standard human is like i think that stat should be handed out a little bit more because what you're doing is fucking insanity absolute insanity i mean there's i don't think it's really that much crazier than somebody running the 26 miles in a marathon. I mean, think about it. How many of us could run three miles in a row at that marathon pace? Our CFO is super fit. He trained for like eight months. He still has yet to finish a marathon he started.

Ended up in the hospital. So, I mean, the thing, more people try marathons. Not that many people have actually put the work in to try to eat that many hot dogs. Is that the goal? The goal? Is the goal to make competitive eating like a... I don't know if that's the goal for me, but I enjoy beating people. The more people that try, the more people I can beat.

Are there performance enhancers like like if you just got really fucking high does that help you i've tried pretty much everything um because they don't test you i assume no no but well sometimes sponsors will test okay but uh it i don't think anything really works i mean we you lose your intensity you lose track of time and even if even if – Because you're not doing it for taste. The munchies is a thing. The munchies are going to help, and you're not doing it for hunger necessarily.

Because after four minutes of the contest, I'm not hungry. I'm doing this to win, and I'm doing this to just show these guys next to me they're not shit. So after 40 hot dogs, you're not hungry? No, I'm doing this to just show these guys next to me they're they're not shit so after 40 hot dogs you're not hungry not after two minutes when 20 are down I know 22 minutes I'm just a fat guy having fun are you are you like fully aware when you're up there doing it or are you kind of looking around seeing what everybody else is doing or are you just completely focused on what's in front of you I'm uh I like to be super like in a weird zone where i'm kind of aware but it's like i'm just trying to do the same thing over and over again and it's uh make sure i breathe make sure i dunk the bun for the right amount of time every 10 every 10th bun i

drop the cup because and go to a new cup and it's just so i'm not the word when i was younger i used to always have empty cups on stage and i'd search for a cup with water but uh it's just you could just go back to all these things that i do so it's like even though i'm thinking about all these things i'm really not thinking about anything it's just just all these little steps routine almost yeah i saw a dude who was near you his hands were covered in red so i assume it's either gatorade or something like that is there what's the thought process red wings um uh he was i think he was using Crystal Light. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Wow, that changed the flavor, though. Some people are weird. They practice with the same flavor for every food. It kind of makes sense to a degree. When they're full, that flavor is kind of like a comfort zone. Every wings you can, obviously, dunk in water. But the donuts and everything, you dunk into a warm water?

Donuts, sometimes the Hostess Donuts, the powder ones, I couldn't dunk. You did a Hostess Donuts? Yeah, that's the one I was talking about earlier where I got second. But I was worried about even inhaling it because it's like... Yeah, it gets you. I looked like Yeah Like I was at a party I smell crap

I smell crap But Yeah If it's If it's If it's like a sandwich food that doesn't fall apart then we get to dunk it

If it's going to fall apart when we dunk it then we're not allowed to Makes sense What's your favorite thing in the world to do when you go chill and just be Joey Chestnut to make sense what's your favorite thing in the world to do when you go chill and just be joey chestnut away from eating what's your favorite thing oh man just watch sports and drink a couple beers nice i've seen you drink beers

bro think about 12 pints of beer in 75 fucking seconds 16 ounces not 12 ounces yo that's right there were 16 yeah we still tell tales. That's right, there were 16. We still tell tales about it because even when you were done on stage, you were still crushing on backstage too. It took a little while to start really feeling good. Everything was a blur. It was amazing.

There's beer chuggers that go out there on the internet and stuff like that. I would like to see them. I would personally like to see all of them line up 12 pints of beer in less than a minute and a half. It was less than a minute and a half. I think it's your best feat.

It was up there. I had a little spillage, but it was pretty damn good. Those first ones were like magic. I was like, oh, David Blaine ain't got shit. Suck it. We still have that video, I assume, somewhere. Yeah, we do. I actually looked it up.

There's one on YouTube from someone in the crowd. Oh, the audience. You can hear the audience just going ape shit. Oh, yeah. Hey, man, it was like a gladiator atmosphere. All those people were beer drinkers, so they understood very much what was happening. It was like, eat the baby.

The baby's gone. That was incredible. I can't thank you enough, Joey. Honestly, man. Great hanging out with you again. Congrats on a win. Congrats on another win. Congrats on a legacy, man.

And congrats on putting a sport on the map, basically, for America. I mean, if America doesn't win, people aren't going to watch. I mean, it's just the way it goes. That's the way America is. And you're the guy. Fourth of July and hot dogs. I don't know how I got so lucky. I do.

It just worked out, and thanks. Yeah, everybody I've met, you guys are awesome. And at Kroger, right? Yeah, they're available in Kroger. We have not tried them yet, but I'm going to try them here in less than four minutes. And this Nashville hot chicken looks delicious, and it's only got three grams of carbs in it, too,

which is a big deal for the old Keto Zito over there. He's trying to lose some weight for a wedding season. One of these days, I'm going to really get on it. I want to do one of those fat camps in Thailand. I'll just come back like a mean bastard. Those fat camps in Thailand? You never heard of them? No.

They're like kickboxing fat camps. They just feed you nothing but lettuce, and they just beat the hell You never heard of them? No. They're like kickboxing fat camps. They just feed you like nothing but like lettuce, and they just beat the hell out of you. What? Really? Yeah, I think it's like tiger muay thai. You got to look it up. Hey, Zito.

Zito. 20 pounds. That sounds like an 80 to 100 pound operation. That's incredible. Joe, you're the man, dude. Thank you. Hey, ladies and gentlemen. Make it out of there. Joe, you're the man, dude. Thank you. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for him.

Hello, it's me. I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet, to go over everything They say the time's supposed to heal you But I ain't done much healing Hello, can you hear me? I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be When we were younger and free

I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet There's such a difference Between us and a million miles Hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times to tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done But when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outside outside At least I can say that I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry

for breaking your heart but it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore anymore Hello I can't tear you apart anymore Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry I hope that you will Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened? It's no secret that the both of us are running out of time So hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times To tell you I'm sorry For everything that I've done But when I call you Never seem to be home Hello from the outside

At least I can say that I've tried To tell you I'm sorry For breaking your heart But it don't matter It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore Ooh, anymore Ooh, anymore Hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times to tell you I'm sorry

For everything that I've done, but when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outside At least I can say that I've tried To tell you how I'm sorry For breaking your heart But it don't matter It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore