The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 096 - The Last Show Before Our Lives Are Changed Forever. Thank You All.

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

On today's show, Pat and the boys discuss everything happening around the NFL as training camp has started to heat up. They dive into Baker Mayfield shotgunning a beer at the Indians game this past weekend and proceeding to light things up on the practice field, which has Pat feeling like his Browns to win the Super Bowl pick was correct, discuss Freddie Kitchens and Bob Wylie's dust up with each other, and why all these things contribute to a different mentality for the Cleveland Browns. They also chat about Hard Knocks, which premieres tonight and how they're excited for Gruden and AB to be highlighted a bit, and they discuss Andrew Luck's bum calf which has Colts fans everywhere very concerned. Pat also covers some of the things that he watched this weekend, including trying to finish the new Avengers movie, and he has some recommendations for next years Hall of Fame speeches after watching all seven hours of them over the weekend. Pat also chats about going to his 5th Indiana State Fair with Sam, and covers everything they did, all the different foods available, what some of his favorite carnival games are (and some of the ones he despises the most), and tells the hilarious story about the caricature that he and Sam got of themselves and the artists interesting and aggressive decision for the final product. Lastly, Pat teases the big news which should be revealed in 48 hours or less that is certain to ramp things up even more this fall. It's a fun one. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For streaming, creating, gaming, and more, power your passions for less during Dell's exceptional cyber savings event. Enjoy up to $400 off stunning laptops like the XPS, along with high-performance desktops and next-level Alienware systems, redefining what's possible with 10th Gen Intel Core processors. Shop special prices on top-brand electronics and. Plus, enjoy free shipping on everything. Don't forget to ask for Intel when you call 1-800-BUY-DELL. That's 1-800-BUY-DELL. Hello, it is Tuesday, August 6, 2019. So, so thankful you chose to listen to the show today.

We have a goodie. A lot of NFL chatter, a little future life chatter. Talked about the weekend, all things magical. With the weekend being said, we have a lot of listeners in Dayton, Ohio, and also in El Paso. And I would like to let you know that from all of us to everybody that was affected by this weekend's terrible shit, we have heavy hearts and you're in our positive thoughts and are nothing but prayers and the only thing we think we can do is hopefully give you the greatest mental vacation that you've experienced in the

last week or so we're going to try to deliver a good show for you and hopefully laugh our way through this terrible time in dayton el paso and in our country and let's enjoy the shit out of today. That's all we got. Zeta, that sound like a plan? Oh, let's do it. That was a tough response. Kind of had a voice crack on the... I was tearing up how good it was. Oh, okay. You're ready to run through a wall

for this show because that's our duty is to hopefully give a mental vacation to people that want to escape some things for a little bit. That's what we're here for. That's what today was. You're going to absolutely love it, just like you'll love any opportunity to buy tickets

with our presenting sponsor, SeatGeek. SeatGeek is the greatest ticket-buying platform on planet Earth and the moon. That's right. If you were to buy tickets on the moon, you would want to use SeatGeek because just like here on Earth, SeatGeek scans all the other ticket buying platforms to make sure you're getting the best value for the tickets that you want. And the tickets that you buy are the tickets that you get. You'll never get catfish like those other ticket sellers.

A bunch of other ticket sellers are a bunch of catfish and assholes. That's what they say. That's what people say. I've heard it. You think you're buying a ticket, then when you get it, you can't even get in the door. Happens all the time. All the time. Not with your friends at SeatGeek, though. geek though because you can shop with confidence at sea geek because

the ticket that you're buying is the ticket that you're getting and the experience you're wanting is the experience that you're getting you're alive but are you living go live a little and experience something live with our friends at sea geek right now use promo code pat get ten dollars off your first order use promo code mcafee get twenty dollars off your first order holy shit a little self-awareness, please. If you're not rich yet, go ahead and use that McAfee. Get $20 off your first order. If you are already ahead of the eight ball, maybe we got some money,

go ahead and use promo code Pat. Let's take $10 off. But let's make sure both promo codes are operating a week from now. We need those both to be used. A little self-awareness would be great. And I can't thank you enough for choosing to listen today. Let's take a trip to a little happy town. Football is back, bro.

Football is back. UCLA wouldn't respond to my tweet. Okay? I asked them for some insight from their Twitter handle because normally the social media people know some stuff cooking. I tried to do some research that color commentators and analysts don't do enough of let's go through the twitter directly to the source see what they would like say ucla didn't answer me and i'm not going to play favorites because i'm a professional yes

my first game ucla cincinnati in cincinnati i'm not gonna play favorites because i'm a professional analyst sure but i did tweet to cincinnati and within an hour i got a response from their head coach fickle inviting me to their training camp which is hour, I got a response from their head coach, Fickle, inviting me to their training camp, which is an hour and a half away from here, and I'm going to be going to it on Thursday. So I don't want to play any favorites, but Bearcats scored early in this one.

You can't hold it against the team of UCLA and the coach of UCLA for them having a poor social media team. Come on, and they're active too. I was like, maybe they don't tweet. And they're active. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was- Those stuffy LA motherfuckers.

I know. Nope. I don't say that. No, not at all. I did. I did. Good kids there. Good kids.

I did. Anthony DiGilio said it. Anyways, college football is getting started. Can't wait to watch the players play football at a college level. Let's go. That's what college football is. It's incredible environments. Yes.

It's incredible rivalries. Oh, yeah environments It's incredible rivalries It's incredible traditions The bands, the passion, the pageantry All of that The fields There is a fields Natural grass, beautiful Only in the south, but yes I agree completely

SEC has a lot of grass down there A majority of the country Does not Notre Dame used to always Grow theirs out Because they were slower Than the other teams And it slowed them down

That's a good smart move I.e. Chicago Bears I.e. the Pittsburgh Steelers Used to do it I.e. the Colts Used to want to have The fastest turf There's a real

Strategery in that whole thing I remember back in high school We used to like Beat down the sides of the field Because they used to ride A good jet Like right or sweep, and we would fuck it up so they couldn't do it. Classic grass.

Let's go, Z. His innate ability to say something, and then none of us can say anything after. I mean, what are you supposed to say? What do I say to that? Zito's high school team that we don't even know if he was on beat down the outside grass so they

could run one particular play and then they would fuck it up. Like I didn't know if he was talking about his own team or the other team. Oh, no, the other team. They had a better offense. I couldn't tell if he was talking about the sidelines or and I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know if he was talking about in his house to maybe this is front or backyard.

We honestly don't know, yeah, I didn't know if he was talking about it in his house, too. Maybe this is his front or backyard. Just talk as a footballer. We honestly don't know. Football talk. Any trenches you see. You guys watch film and you're like, hey, they take this play to the right. And so instead of, like, beefing up the defense to prep them for that play,

they're like, hey, just fuck up the grass over there. Yeah, make it money. Make it money. Yeah, leave that hose out a little longer. It's like what I did to the superintendent with the water that is the move why aren't people

doing that Zito we won a couple games because of that yeah you did who needs a defense nowadays Todd that was brilliant last week Todd

solved global warming too with one of the best comments I've ever heard in my life for those of you that know global warming real issue climate change real issue it is many different beliefs on how it happens todd is in the camp of all the windmills are facing the same direction which ipso facto all the fans that are connected to earth are blowing one way, obviously going to move Earth the opposite.

It's classic propulsion. Yes. And he thinks that the fans from the windmills are blowing us closer to the sun. Correct. Which is heating the Earth's core, which is causing all the problems we're currently having. Is that right? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Blaming on clean energy. So the only way to get out of it is just to flip them all around? Well, you don't want to go too far you might be in a vacuum now yeah yeah do it too fast we get tidal waves and shit you know it's a slow process yeah gotta flip half of it right right anyways todd nothing's getting you off of that either right that is your firm oh yeah yeah i mean once it occurred to me because it happened when i was driving through northern Indiana because we got that little stretch of them right there.

And I'm like, this is it. Pulling us closer to the sun. Big turbines will take you out. Yeah. Anyways, can't wait for college football. In the NFL, it's still on the show.

Baker Mayfield, this weekend, at a Cleveland Indians game, which somebody tweeted that he went from practice right across the street to a Cleveland Indians game. So I'm assuming they're in the area of each other. I'm not sure if it was an off night or not,

but his performance on the Jumbotron is something that should be talked about by a lot of people, mostly because the amount of confidence he had taking that full beer straight to his mouth, puncturing a hole with his teeth, shotgun, squeezing the can and sucking it out, dropping it down, flexing

the mustache, the whole thing with that guy, his jersey, I'm sure he's a legend. Lindor, he actually hit two homers next to a bat. A little Baker bump. Baker gives a bump to Lindor and the amount of confidence he had doing that whole thing, I love everything about it.

Baker is going to Baker at all particular times. And there's people that hate it. Colin Cowherd said, yay, they're the best frat house. They have the funniest guys. They have the best beard chuggers. They have all this. But the frat house's plumbing doesn't work for 20 years. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can understand why some people would hate it. But boy, if my quarterback was doing that, and then the next day at practice dropping 60-yard bombs to people, I mean, it's tough not to love that guy. It's tough not to be a big fan. And I think Cleveland and Dog Pond are pretty excited that old Baker Mayfield from Oklahoma with the Ohio State flag situation is representing their city, their

team. And I think the Brownies are going to do big things this year, strictly because of that. I bet with weird reasons, I picked them to win the Super Bowl. And I honestly believe that that on Saturday night reinforced everything I've ever said. I mean, I'm a big fan of that. How are you not? I don't know. Well, I assume everyone here, all of us, even me.

Yeah. Huge fan of the video. Huge fan. The ability to fucking puncture a beer can with your teeth. I don't even know where you fucking start. That's what I'm saying, though. Like, he's done that so many times before. Not his first time.

That it was just natural. Like, as soon as he got that beer, okay. Because his friend saw him do the end of his beer. It was like, what, probably a last sip or whatever. And his friend, I think, the end of his beer it was like a what probably a last sip or whatever and his friend i think was even like no no no that cannot be how this goes down mr mayfield that is not what we came to do and you could see like his friend and baker had this eye connection they were like oh yeah what the fuck are we thinking we're doing a shotgun for sure boom toss like stone cold steve austin catching a beer from his guy that's out in the crowd.

Perfect snag. There wasn't even a thought like, oh, I should get my key out. I should do something like that. Right to the tooth, straight to it, squeezing the can, making it come out faster. That was the smoothest shit I've seen in a long time. And I love that he had a mustache while doing it. honestly that's i mean that's just a clutch performance i think that's everything

that he is because that could have gone so wrong i would have cut my lip or something stupid you know i mean he didn't miss a beat i used to have a feeling like this is just how this guy does my tongue would be on the ground yes exactly i don't think i've ever done that by the way i don't think you should try it well i mean Maybe he's a fucking vampire. Yeah, I was literally just looking. He's got some pretty good canine teeth. He's a vampire. The sharp ones to the side there.

Well, that's probably where he's from. You keep him around so you can do that moment right there. He's got a little bit of a gap tooth, too. Easy. Jeez. Just saying. There's no reason for you to do it. You just did.

What are you doing, Zito? You're about to take a shot of Baker Mayfield? No, so the beer didn't spill everywhere. No. You'd think it would go crazy. Yeah, it was very impressive the entire operation. Because he had it tilted down, as if it would blow up. Oh, are you saying this was doctored a little bit?

No, no, no. I'm just saying it's a very smart move. Hey, throw me that fake can. Oh, you think he had a fake can on him? I did not say this. It sounds like you're saying here. Dick said that. No, no're saying here dig said that nobody else from the show has that opinion other than anthony de gilio and nick marotta i think if you watch it you can tell when it hits his hand it's got the right amount of

weight yeah there's a little pop in the hand yes a little pop in the hand and then literally today at practice he threw a 60 yard ball to somebody out of the pocket. It's just like, if you got both of those things, that's a good thing. I'm a big fan of it. I like it a lot. I like what the Browns are doing, man. Also, out of Cleveland, Bob Wiley has gone from the penthouse to the outhouse. Yeah, he's talking shit on Freddie Kitchens. He's talking a lot of shit on Freddie Kitchens.

Freddie Kitchens heard it, too. Oh, yeah, he heard it. He responded. He responded. The Cleveland Browns are doing things in such a different manner than teams have in the past, too. Oh, yeah, he responded. He responded. The Cleveland Browns are doing things in such a different manner than teams have in the past, honestly. I mean, the Rams, I guess, got younger with McVay, but McVay was always pretty buttoned up.

He's always pretty buttoned up with everything he does. Freddie Kitchens responding to Wiley in a manner that he's kind of talking shit on Wiley, too, right? Yeah, yeah. But with some amount of tact, probably because he's like, ah, W they may not be around that much longer you know what i mean like you could tell he was afraid to you know go too far with it but he got his point across but he did respond to it in a way baker it's almost

like the entire browns organization is taking on this new identity of like hey this is what we are it hasn't worked here for a long time we got've got to change something up. We're a scrappy bunch that is willing to do whatever, and I enjoy that if it works. If it works, it's going to be awesome. If it doesn't, potentially catastrophic, but what else could go wrong in Cleveland? I mean, it hasn't gone right for a long time. I enjoy the changeup.

I enjoy it a lot. So if you were in Kitchen's position, or let's say the GM's position, you wouldn't try to bridle that a little bit from Baker just in case they lose a lot of games. The only thing you would be affecting is

all of this potentially coming up if they go 0-10. Because that's when they'll get blamed. Like, oh, remember when he was shotgunning beers at the Indians game? You remember when he was doing that? You remember? But I think what they and a lot of people were saying, oh, Johnny Manzielziel 2.0 and I think the biggest difference there is I think Baker Mayfield is a guy who prepares heavily like I think he's not scared to prepare Johnny Manziel is self-admittedly not a big preparation guy I think there's a lot of differences between Baker

and Johnny although they're both shorter wh whiter, electric figures. I can understand the comparison. But I think Baker is very confident in who he is, and I think the Browns are very confident in who Baker is. And I don't think they see it going 0 and 10. But if they do, all of this shit's going to get mentioned, all of it. Yeah, too much talent's going. Yeah, there's just no way. And I think Jarvis is going to keep OBJ in check, too.

And by in check, I mean if he's a little bit hurt, like a little bit, I wonder if Jarvis, because Jarvis gave that speech like day two on Hard Knocks. And they're like best friends. I think they'll bring the best out of each other. I think that team could be something special. Miles Garrett wearing a Pokemon visor, though, is a whole different animal.

He's given an interview where he said he doesn't fit in with most of the team. Dragon Ball Z. You did it again. You mixed them up again. It's a Pikachu. Right? It's a Pikachu. It was a Pikachu.

It was Dragon Ball Z characters. Unless he had two. The one I saw was Dragon Ball Z characters. That's had two. The one I saw was Dragon Ball Z characters. That's like Vegeta, right? Vegeta and Goku? You get it. You get it. That defense is going to be good, too.

I think the bronze can be very good. I'm happy, Baker. He cut like 10 pounds or something? Yeah. I saw. Like leaning down? He was doing all those crazy lifts on the internet. Anytime somebody starts posting lifts on the internet,

you know they're feeling themselves. Because it takes a lot to get up there. You know, and nobody's put up like a, just did fucking 185. People are posting them jumping fucking 60 inches. There's only things that are comforting them. Miles Garris started posting stuff. I'm like, this guy's feeling himself right now.

Which is good for everybody. It's good for everybody. Boys, we're getting rolling. Oh, yeah. You don't get this type of coverage of sports anywhere else. You don't. You know, most guys

have tried different ways to last longer in a sack. Yeah, that's the truth. But thinking about baseball doesn't always work. The folks at Roman, an online men's health company, are changing the game

with Roman Swipes, the secret to longer lasting sex. Zito, you know how it goes. Oh yeah. What was that? I got a hair in my throat. That really,

that was, that was unbelievable. He just did it. Yeah. I think he was. Yeah. Zito, you court a lady.

Oh yeah. Not just any lady. The best lady you court a lady. Oh, yeah. Not just any lady. The best lady. The best lady. Oh, yeah. You court her. And it's finally time for Zito to do the. The courting.

The courting. And in your head, you're like, wait a minute. I need to put on a show tonight. Yeah. I need to perform. It's going down. It needs to not go down for a long time need to put on a show need to make sure she enjoys this just as much as i do need to be a gentleman in the bedroom i need to make sure this lasts a lot longer than i normally

do right oh yeah you go for roman swipes roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in the sack they're effective easy to use fast acting and doctor recommended but don't require a prescription okay you don't have to go to the doctor and perform to get a roman swipe this is doctor recommended because they're like hey this actually works but don't need a prescription that's huge also roman swipes are shipped in a discreet, unmarked packaging, and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it. Nobody knows that you're carrying a weapon of mass destruction

in your back pocket. Roman swipes are the absolute best. Right now, you keep Roman swipes in your back pocket for longer, better sex, and get yours fast with free two-day shipping by visiting getroman.com forward slash USA. That's getroman.com forward slash USA. Free two-day shipping. Put on a show this weekend with your friends from Roman.

Roman swipes. Getroman.com forward slash USA. Take a trip to happy time. Roman swipes Get roman.com Forward slash USA Take a trip to happy time Do you know what tonight is? Tonight is a massive night

Because Hard Knocks is back Oh god Great I think it's their worst intro song HBS Really? Really Yep I say it I just noticed it's hard worst intro song, HBO's. Really? Yep, I say it. I just noticed it's hard to bob your head to.

Yeah. Not really. You need the cut of the guys cutting on the grass. It's accompanied with that. Yeah, you need that. And you gotta get to it, just like those movies.

That long intro. Yeah. Works for the show, but right here, right now, we need the meat of it. It was tough audio only, to be honest. But I'm excited for Hard Knocks. Old John Gruden's

about to be loose in there, I guess. He's super fucking loose. He should be very entertaining. Don't they talk about Haley and Hugh Jackson were at odds because Haley was like, should not be doing this, and Jackson was excited for it. He had no idea. I guess he was completely mind-blown by it. I'll be excited to see. What a surprise.

That guy, man. He's tough. He's tough. He thought it was going to make him look good. Hilarious. He thought Hard Knocks was going to make him look good. I wonder if John Gruden has the same mentality. Like, yeah, this is going to be good or if John Gruden hates everything about it. I think he pretends to hate it. Yeah, I think he pretends and he knows

it's going to make him look good. Has to. He knows exactly what the TV cameras want. I would assume. I mean, that's who he is. Nate Peterman's about to make an appearance, I guess. You're all jacked up. Pretty fucking excited for the award, for Nate Peterman award. It's going to be a hell of a season. Especially when there was

a hell of a theory going around the internet that John Gruden doesn't like having good quarterbacks because it gives him an excuse or that he's not the quarterback whisperer anymore. Oh, a bad quarterback make him do a little bit of good. Look what John Gruden did to the quarterback that literally couldn't stop throwing interceptions, but whenever they got

to the Oakland Raiders, they came a winning quarterback. Yeah, so it's only a matter of time before he's starting. Yo, you think he's going to be a starter for the Oakland Raiders? I wouldn't. I wouldn't bet against it. You're counting on Mike Lennon like that.

How many games did Antonio Brown play this year for the Oakland Raiders? With his feet? 10. You think he's going to get hurt or you think he's just going to opt out? I'm very intrigued by this because whenever they show

reps of him in practice, he's dominating and then everything off the field, it feels as if he doesn't love it as much as he used to, right? He doesn't love football as much as he used to because he did get rich. It's hard to continue to love something that is very difficult, especially when your feet are peeling off. His feet are literally peeling off at the moment. I read a statement from the doctor who's always like the Twitter doctor

who always sees the videos and stuff like that and then comes out with his ideas of how it happened and what it's going to be and stuff like that. The injury expert. Yeah, doctor. Well, you don't want to speculate. But anyways, he said. I'm not allowed to do that, by the way, on Thursday nights. I know you're not. No speculations on injuries.

You're not a fucking doctor. If you were a doctor. That's a stinger right there. Don't speculate. The guy can't move his fucking arm. Yeah, but what if he broke his neck? Ooh, good call. Good call.

Don't need me breaking the news. But he said that that happens from bacteria, so he's probably taking a broad spectrum, my antibiotic, blah, blah, blah. But the bacteria forms because of the feet being too moist. Antonio Brown swims with fucking socks on. No wonder why his feet are so fucking moist and his feet are shredding apart. Dr. Diggs!

That's the first thing that I thought. Gotta let him breathe. I thought you had an idea maybe about the Gucci shoes or whatever that he was working on. Training in Gucci shoes? Not good? He doesn't really take care of them feet. Tony toe taps. I mean, those are his number one second most important things probably. We can all all agree though when Antonio Brown is playing football he's incredible

he's good football player he is incredible but literally everything else with him has become interesting I think he tweets to troll people too like I think he literally trolls people because he's always like uh like he'll send things that are just so so contradictory to things that happen. Yeah. I enjoy Antonio Brown. I hope he plays, but those feet look nasty. It'd be a real shame if he had to miss some time.

Whoa. Hey, bro. Next to no Nicky shots over here today. What's your problem, bro? My problem with the guy who cried his way out of town? I couldn't guess. I couldn't figure it out. I don't know.

Hey. I'm above it. It's behind me. How do you feel about left bell? It's behind me. Oh, yeah? He apologized to the fantasy owners. Hope he has a great season.

That sounds like a lie. Everybody's talking about Sam Darnold being overlooked because Baker Mayfield is a big conversation of all young quarterbacks. That makes sense. What about Patty Mahomes? I mean, he's only in his third year. Nobody's really talking about him. Yeah, that's absurd.

Yeah, exactly. He's got that cereal him. Yeah, that's absurd. Yeah, exactly. He's got that cereal out. What? See that? No. The Mahomes Crunch cereal, whatever they were selling at grocery stores in Kansas City. And it was wild because they're like, hey, you're on cereal. That's going to be cool.

And I was reading through there. And he's like, yeah, I haven't tasted it. I asked them to make it taste like Frosted Flakes. So I assume that's what they did. I'm like, man, that's a slap in the face. You didn't even taste the cereal. No, no, no. He's got faith in the people making it.

He's not a cereal expert. I told them what I like. They went ahead and made it. Will I ever eat? No, no, I'm keto, so I don't even eat cereal. Mahomes Magic Crunch, that's the name of it. MMC. I would be saying make it taste like CTC if I'm in here.

Yeah, right? Listen, just know that if we ever get a cereal out of here, first thing we're saying is CTC. Have it taste just like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Kind of a poor choice for a taste for him. Totally. He also likes Hunt's Ketchup, too. Oh, I think he was paid to like Hunt's Ketchup.

I think he likes ketchup in general. But just like the cereal, I think he was paid to like Hunt's Ketchup. I think he likes ketchup in general. But just like the cereal, I think he was paid to like Hunt's Ketchup, which, by the way, get your money, Patty Holmes. But we all know Hunt's Ketchup is a deep four, probably, in the ketchup world. Yeah, way down. Whenever I walk into your restaurant and that's what's laying out. You walk right out of Texas Roadhouse. I'm done.

We had Roadhouse the other night for Sam's birthday. It is underrated. It's very underrated. What'd you get? The rolls. I got a country fried steak. That's a good move. By the way, also called chicken fried steak,

which caused quite a discussion at the table because Sam thought I was a fucking dum-dum. I was like, I'm getting the chicken fried steak. And she's like, that makes no sense. And she pulls out the menu and it says country fried steak. She's like, you mean country fried? I'm like, I'm getting the chicken fried steak. And she's like, that makes no sense. And she pulls out the menu and it says country fried steak. She's like, you mean country fried? I'm like, no, they mean the same thing. And she's like, no, they don't.

Like starts making fun of me for this. And I'm like, lady, just because you're not cultured doesn't mean that I'm wrong. And your fried food? At Texas Roadhouse. So we Googled it. It turned out the exact same thing. She actually Googled it. And I enjoy whenever she Googles something I say

because she sees the answer and then she has to scroll down to the bottom to see if she can get out of it. And then it's a moment. It's a moment for her when I go, so what did we find? What did the old Google machine say? Oh, it's also chicken fried.

That's interesting. And then she points at the menu, it's country fried. Every once in a while, she'll get me where I have to Google it. And and boy that's a real moment in my life when i have to be like so you're right but i'm gonna leave the house for like the next hour so i don't want to hear about it we've been in the pool a lot more we've been doing the pool oh yeah because your ears fixed because the ear yeah punch myself in the face doing what i want off the diving board i want to cover my ear and the water diving board. Wanted to cover my ear.

And the water hit as I was going to cover my ear, and I just punched myself right. The water hit me right in the face. Because when I go deep in the pool, my ear still fucking hurts. So nothing gets in there, but I feel like a bad pressure. For those that don't know, I had a hole in my eardrum for a long time.

Got fixed. Now I can go back in water. I was literally not allowed to have my head underwater for like 12 years so i was a fish as a kid completely out of water for 12 years pat out of water for 12 years just got back in the game here recently when i dive deep though the head hurts so anytime i jump off the diving board to shoot the basketball right because that's a big time shot yeah the horse that we play yep i try to cover my ear because i'm going down and one time i didn't get there in time and i punched myself right in the face so i come out of the water and the ball hit off my forehead too it's a big thing double doink and sam's just standing there with her arms crossed just like so how'd that go and i'm just

like this is terrible this is absolutely i thought i was going to have big black alley thought I was going to have big black alley and I was going to have to explain how it happened I punched me in the face here's the funny part I'm kicking my own ass think about if we would have

came in here with that story if you would have been like alright so what really happened and you would have put us on a fucking whiteboard alright so please explain this you jumped off of the diving board. It's been a good time.

You're probably scared to clear your ear because you have a memory of it being blown out before. You got a little mental thing like Andrew Luck. Hey, Scott, you know what I mean? Oh! Got the little emotional scar. Todd McComas, diehard Indianapolis Colt fan, is, I would say, heartbroken over what's happening right now with

Andrew Luck I'm scared he has not practiced in a long time with a calf injury and they're saying that he's redoing some of his rehab which is what happened with the shoulder the last time and Todd is heartbroken over what could potentially lie ahead for the indiana yeah

because you look at it two different ways all right so it's either like physically worse than they're letting on or the he's mentally worse off than they're letting on because every time he has an injury now he looks back to that excruciating two-year period with his shoulder and he's like oh i'm kind of scared to go 100% because something might pop. You know what I mean? And that could be a bad thing. And we've talked about this with Gordon Hayward,

and I've talked about the mental struggles of getting over an injury. I just hope that Andrew Luck is back on the football field this season because I believe the Colts are a completely different team whenever that happens. But they've been posting a lot of videos of Jacoby percent and TY just I don't know that defense must be good defense too

and Jacoby and TY are smoking right now but early on by the way normally early on in training camp defense wins early because it takes a lot longer to get the offense jiving together because the defense is see ball chase ball but it looks like there's a lot of to get the offense jiving together because the defense is see ball, chase ball. But it looks like there's a lot of highlights coming out from the offense. And if Jacoby steps up in there, it'll be interesting if he has a real shot with a real team this year because last time he got thrown in there a week and a half before the season started, he wasn't even on the Colts.

And then he was starting, he did bad. I hope Andrew plays. He's not saying that he will be ready for week one. He believes he's ready for week one. Yeah, that's the goal. That's scary. He's not saying that he will be ready for Wigwam. He believes he's ready for Wigwam. Yeah, that's the goal. That's scary. He's not speaking in certainty. That's like six months away.

You know what? The season, we haven't even started. Have the Colts even played their first preseason game? No. Haven't even played their first preseason game. So we're at least a month out. And he's like, yeah, the goal is to hopefully play. I hope none of this is true.

Todd just had a heart attack. But we love psychology in this room, right? So when people are afraid to speak in certainties like that and say certain key words, like they're using believe, I believe, or maybe, that's a bad sign, right? Usually. Or he is literally just saying, because I think he was forced to not tell the truth for a long time

whenever he was injured before. Now I think he's just trying not to say anything that will be a lie. So he's probably not making any promises. But, boy, I'm intrigued by this because Andrew Luck is a very good quarterback. Jacoby, we'll see if he's great too if he gets to play. You just want to see this year out of luck because they have so many wide receiver options now and the tight end core is so strong. They just brought in Dante Foreman too from the Texans

who was a third-round draft pick last year, two years ago. Got cut from the Texans. They said he has to mature a little bit. Good locker room here in Indy. I think they're really putting some pieces together. Brandon Marshall worked out for them. I don't know how he's playing. Funches, Paris Campbell. Kane, I guess, is playing well. The Colts could be incredible this year.

But boy, it'd be nice if your quarterback practiced. That has to be scary for everybody in the Colts organization. It has to be scary over there. I would think. Or they're all on board that we'll be able to get them back because the equipment manager, the athletic trainers, and the doctors for the Colts are top of the line.

I am a big fan of them. They've gotten me back from three surgeries. Vinatieri, Dwight Freeney, Peyton Manning. You talk about all the great. They are good, good at what they do. The whole organization is putting faith on them. Like, yep, through this let's go ahead it's gotta be frustrating as a fan base to have to go through that again like you stop i'm just saying what everyone can take shots at me when i have to deal with things yeah all last year we had all this misery thrown upon

us oh steelers fans are happy maybe you guys could use a little character. Everything's all hunky-dory at La Trobe. It really is. The Steelers look like they're very tight. It's a very happy team right now. Speaking of hunky-dory, Tom Brady just signed a two-year extension, 23 mil a year, opens up $5.5 million in cap space for the New England Patriots.

Once again, chestnut checkers. This is a whole other level of trying to figure out how to be the best football team on earth. Yeah, he gets an $8 million bump this year and then basically avoids them having to either even talk about or do anything franchise-wise next year. So it's just peace of mind for the organization. And anytime they need more cap space, they'll do it again.

They found some clause in the NFL rules that they're like, yeah, we can turn just signing bonus from the guarantee and open up more cap space. What if they're taking a run at a big name? What if they're taking a run to clear cap space right now? They're trying to clear cap space. What if they make a huge signing and yet again it'll be like, oh, fuck, the Patriots are going to win again.

That's kind of what always happens is Josh Gordon. He filed for reinstatement, I believe. I think that was what I saw. I don't think they're paying him that much, though. Who's the running back from the Chargers? Melvin Gordon. He's requesting a trade. Okay.

That doesn't seem like the Patriot way. Sonny Michel. Yeah, they have other people, too, right? Yeah. So if they're trying to clear cap space, though, which is obviously what this is. I mean, granted, locking in Tom Brady for two more years is incredible it's smart all that stuff but the five and a half million dollar cap space wasn't by accident i'll be excited to see what the patriots do yet again the patriots just always do it man they're gonna figure it has to be so

frustrating it froze on tom on belichick's face uh when Law was doing his speech, by the way, Western Pennsylvania guy, my TV's been freezing again. We're back. It froze right on Belichick's face for like probably three minutes and Sam was just losing her mind. She was like, we're changing the channel. I can't just stare at this guy.

I'm like, Sam, you just got to respect it though. I mean, this guy is very fucking good. And he goes to all the Hall of Fames, by the way, that his players get in. He's this everybody do their-their-job guy. He seems like the Patriot way is this insane, rigorous thing.

So you would think during training camp it'd be a whole new world. But Belichick always makes it to the Hall of Fame speeches of his players. And I assume that is very much appreciated. I can't wait for the Patriots, whenever everybody's old, like when Belichick's like 90 or something, he's finally retired, Tom Brady and all of them, where all the stories get out about how they do and operate everything.

I'll be excited to learn about that. They're incredible. I just looked. I looked it up. They now have 8.8 million in cap space available. And I know, I can't remember, someone on the Steelers got reworked the other day too. Teams always do this during camp and rework cap space.

Is it just in case someone gets cut or? I think it's they see weaknesses potentially in their team and like okay we have to sign somebody at this we're gonna have to sign somebody at this we don't think there can be a min player that we can sign that'll be able to do this job i think it's just kind of like you test and see what your team is and then you have to evaluate how much money you're going to spend to fix it. And I would assume Belichick has that math figured out completely. Might be extending one of their guys, too. Someone who's due for a deal. Could do that.

But this is like three times Tom Brady's done this. Sixth highest quarterback salary, which is a good spot for him to be because he could always say people could talk shit on Tom Brady, but he was always willing to take a pay cut. $, but he was always willing to take a pay cut. $23 million a year, willing to take a pay cut to help the team. Refused to be the highest paying quarterback of all time, even though he's the greatest quarterback of all time. Those are all good things to have on the Twitter bio.

Yeah, very good. I think he's still made, I think I saw the other day, he's 230. Giselle's made 460. It's quite a good family there. Perfect math there for just double that thing up. Good for Tom, man. Win at life. Anything else happening in the NFL? The only other thing I

had was that Jordy Nelson was retiring. As a Packer. Yeah, he signed with Packers for a day. Jordy Nelson, whenever he got released or traded or whatever it was, Aaron did not like it, right? No, not at all. They didn't consult with Rodgers at all.

Which, by the way, is a great way to word it to make Aaron look bad. So people can say, oh, the Green Bay Packers are supposed to consult with Aaron. You know what I mean? That's a way to, as opposed to saying Aaron wasn't told about the move. It's like, because it's easy to say, oh, they're supposed to consult with you. You know what I mean? That's probably a trigger word they added in there on purpose. But I wonder if Aaron Rodgers is like, because it's easy to say, like, oh, they're supposed to consult with you. You know what I mean? Like, that's probably a trigger word

they added in there on purpose, but I wonder if Aaron Rodgers is like, let's sign him to a one-year. Yeah, I know. Because he played, he didn't start well last year, but he had a really, really good end of the season last year with the Raiders. I'm kind of surprised that the Packers, maybe if someone

gets hurt, they bring him in or something. What if Jordy wanted it, though? They also have a bunch of young guys on the roster. He'd be good in the locker room for teaching them how to be a pro and how to build a rapport with Rodgers and stuff like that. And they got that 15-year-old head coach. It could be good for him. Exactly. I wonder how that whole thing's going.

I don't know. I mean, same thing. They always say that they're getting along now. And Rodgers has been fiery at practice. But like you said, the defense. I mean, same thing. They always say that, like, oh, they're getting along now. And the Rodgers has been fiery at practice. But like you said, the defense, I mean, they went out and spent all that money on the defense. So I think they've been dominating pretty thoroughly so far this year. You got to let the bullets fly, though.

Once the bullets start flying, you learn a lot about coaches. You learn a lot about a lot of people. Once you get a couple losses or missed assignments, then you learn a lot about coaches very quickly. I mean, you can learn. I mean, I've had some coaches in the past where during a week they're awesome, and then game day it's like a whole different animal. It's like, what the fuck happened to you?

What are you? Oh, let's get a win today. It's like, chill the fuck out, bro. What are you talking about? I'm like, some coaches have a tighter asshole than players. People forget that coaches can lose their mind on game day too. Which is not good.

And you never know until the bullets start flying. I think you learn a lot about people. I don't think I've ever seen a coach that acts terribly on game day, make it past a year. Normally they're fired as soon as the season's over. It's like, get rid of that fucking intern.

Shit in his pants. We don't need that on a sideline. I hope the Packers do well, though, mostly because Aaron Rodgers is a friend of mine. Right, good friend. He sent me a DM after the Thursday night thing. That's what good friends do, though. That's what they do.

Sent me a DM congratulating me, excited to watch, see what comes out of my mouth. I'm excited for that, too, if it means anything. We all are. I started writing stuff down when I was sitting on the couch. Yeah. Of things and angles and concepts I should do while calling a game. Pretty pumped up.

That's a great avenue for content there. Oh, yeah. That is a really good avenue for content. The game is going to be a great time. Me commenting on games is a great avenue for content. It's just the ability to create awesome content. Very thankful that ESPN is doing that. The wrestling one, I really want to utilize that avenue however possible.

Because I think that is a particular channel of content that my brain will do well in. I've been thinking it since high school. I thought it in college. I got an even heavier belief in the nfl and now that i'm retired i am all in on the thought that i am supposed to cut wwe wrestling sports entertainment style video content and i hope i get the opportunity to do it i think you should do one to open up the thursday night games yeah i know i want to do one really bad i want to i want to talk about the city we're in, the team that's flying in,

old Chip Kelly, that type of promo. Maybe that's how I do it. Maybe that's how I get that out of me is by doing it. Don't they usually do like the pan, the slow pan across? There's always an intro, a thing. There's always an intro of some sort where they add photos and star players and this and that. Yeah, there is a way to do that for sure.

And thankfully, though, because i don't know if my body could handle the sports entertainment thing with the body i mean i took one kendo stick couldn't breathe but i do need that particular avenue because i think it'd be a lot of fun for us i mean just one just one target yeah okay talk about this one target for 90 seconds or two minutes. It's like, that'd be a good time. That would be a great time. Be able to dive deep down there into creation land. Just create your own layer.

It's like you're peeling an onion the whole time. Oh, my God. That'd be a good time. So hopefully that'll happen. Thursday night football's going to happen. And a couple of massive announcements coming out very soon. Very soon. We just got heads up.

Very soon. These things, everything we've been talking about potentially happening, it all has been building for the last few months, right? Foxy and I have been flying around the country, shaking hands with people, meeting people, conversations were happening. And to be honest, the ESPN College Football came together rather quickly there.

There's a couple other announcements we're about to make that have been in the making for months where you got a lot of lawyers talking to a lot of lawyers. And I don't understand any of it. They always just muck it up. Yeah, can't you just say, hey, do this, and we'll do this. You do this. Not today.

We'll do this. Not today. It's a very different world. Yeah, they got to justify their salaries for being there. No such thing as a gentleman's handshake anymore. Well, I think there's a lot of checks and balances, probably due to people screwing people over over the long haul which makes a lot of sense and i appreciate my people doing that on our end and their people doing it on their end but i do believe there's a couple

massive announcements about to grace the earth about us and uh i'm pumped up about it man i'm very excited about it because it's been something that's been in the works behind the scenes for so long. Haven't been able to talk about it because you can't ruin anything. That's basically what I'm told. And I'm not a person that has a filter. Normally, if it's in there, it's coming out.

So I like to talk about my experiences and things I'm going through. But these particular ones are like, Pat, do not, and I repeat, do not mention it to anybody. And I'm like, like well the boys are gonna know for sure and my lady you think i'm just gonna lay in my bed and not say anything like this is area 51 they're like yeah but publicly you cannot say anything because that could

potentially ruin it and i'm like well i don't want to ruin anything they're like exactly keep your mouth shut and i'm like all right i'll keep my mouth shut but it's going to be tough so whenever i started teasing that something's coming i got a text that that was like, Pat, why are you saying something's coming? I'm like, well, maybe this will push you guys to make this deal. Maybe this will push you guys to make the deal happen. No, they're all in. Everybody's all in. Everybody's very excited.

And I think within the next 48 hours, something could potentially be coming. And I'm pumped for all of us. If we're being honest here. I'm proud of all of us too. Go ahead. honest here. I'm proud of all of us, too. Go ahead. I told my parents. Oh, come on, Tony.

Thanks, Tony. I told them not to tell their super media friends, though. Well, you Italians. It doesn't leave the family. You Italians are known for keeping things locked in. It's a code. Yeah, I understand that. I appreciate that.

I don't think Coach Diggs would ever narc on nobody. No. Every Italian knows, like the Mediterranean Sea. But I'm pretty pumped up. Keep in mind, all these meetings, handshaking, business deals, all done in jorts in a tank top. I have not changed at all. Not at all.

There's a couple people that were offended, and they decided not to offer anything. I remember that. And then there was a few companies, a select few companies, that said, hey, we want to work together. And let's make it happen. And my people, that's what I have. I have people.

Our people, because I do guess they represent the entire company, technically, legally, everything. Let's go. Our people have figured out a way to negotiate deals that make everybody happy. And I'm not sure if this is going to be the first time for this or if this is the last time for this because the diversity of deals that are about to launch is pure insanity. It is absolute insanity, but it's going to be an incredible fall and we are going to have an absolute blast. We're going to be very busy.

And I do believe that that number 10 on the 40 under 40 thing that the big lead let out yesterday, even though lists are very important, especially lists like that, very important. Well-respected. Oh, yeah. I think next year it's going to be a vastly different number, especially because this fall, for me and the boys here,

I think it's about to be a launching pad, like an Elon Musk-style launching pad. I mentioned in the video that the college football announcement was a big announcement. That's a big announcement. Getting a chance to do Thursday Night Football on ESPN is an incredible honor, and it is an big announcement. That's a big announcement. Getting a chance to do Thursday Night Football on ESPN is an incredible honor and it is an awesome announcement.

But that one kind of came in there towards the end and got negotiated quickly. These other two are much bigger life-altering announcements. And I'm pumped for the team of listeners and followers to hear about it because you're just a part

of this. A big part of this is anybody whenever the hall of fame guys say to like their coach from high school league you in hall of fame too i want you listeners to know these deals you're part of these deals too nice you are a vocal talking point in a lot of these meetings just Just like Marty Smith called you guys a cult. That's a little aggressive. I don't think we're doing anything negative. Cults normally imply a negativity, but I can understand the rabidness of the group.

Every single conversation, the people that listen to this show, listen to Heartland Radio, and follow along on social media are referred to as a dominant force and i can't be more thankful for the dominant force that we have i can't be more honored that you guys have faith in us i think that is what listeners of this show do you put faith in us by listening to this show that we will deliver some goodness to you because you can listen to a lot of other things you choose to listen to this And I think it's going to be just.

I think we're going to come through for everybody here, and it's going to be a great fall. Monumental announcements, though, coming out in the next 48 hours. Big fucking announcements that is pretty wild to think about now that it's all kind of coming together. It's going to be a fun thing. It's going to be a cool thing. And there might be a Times Square billboard.

That's what I was told. Wow. That'd be awesome. Watch for it. That'd be ridiculously overpriced, just like everything else that we do, but we're thankful for it. And it could be a lot of fun.

Yeah. Other than that, had a great convo earlier. We're speaking well right now. We're about to transition into our lives, not just football, but into our lives. Not just football, but into our lives. And just in a couple weeks,

we'll be able to do this in a different language. Oh, that's right. You know why? Why's that? Because one of our sponsors, Babbel, is the language learning app that'll get you speaking a new language quickly and with confidence. Zito is trying this out currently

to speak English and a potential another language. Russian as well. That a boy? Niet. Da. That was no and yes. Speak a new language with confidence. Choose from 14 different languages,

including Spanish, French, Italian, German, and Russia. Babbel is designed to quickly get you speaking your new language within weeks, Zito. Babbel's teaching method, speech recognition technology, has been proven to be effective across multiple studies. Convenient lessons are only 10 to 15 minutes. Learn through interactive dialogue so you can perfect your pronunciation and your accent. Lessons are lovingly created by over 100 language experts. Parentheses. Real people.

Not by a translation machine. Available as an app or online and your progress will be synced across all of the devices. Be bold this summer and learn a new language. Here are the easy steps to speaking a new language with confidence today. Go to Babbel.com or download the app. That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com. Try for today. Go to babbel.com or download the app.

That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Try for free. That is babbel, B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Babbel, speak a new language with confidence. 10 to 15 minute sessions. Pretty easy. Couple weeks. Get on the toilet.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. Yeah. Diversify yourself while pooping. Okay. Diversify yourself. Wow. Pooping. Okay. Back to the show. Kudosha. I love Boris Shetano.

Babbel's doing great for Zito. We'll do even better for you. Babbel.com. Shop with confidence. Speak a new language with confidence. Or download the app today. For free. Sam, actually, we've gotten to the bottom on all the networks, by the way.

We're in a bad spot. On all the platforms, we've gotten to the bottom. You're talking about Showtime, HBO Go, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon. We're at the bottom. We beat the game, I guess. Kind of perfect timing, though. I. We beat the game, I guess. Kind of perfect timing, though. I guess we beat the game, yeah. Sports are about to get back heavily involved in our lives,

which I'm assuming Sam is very excited about. I mean, I made her watch those seven hours of Hall of Fame speeches. She was not ecstatic about that. She was like, babe, come on. Can you not just read them? And I'm like, no, there's's gonna be a big moment a couple big moments or something like that this is what i want to do next year for somebody that gets inducted in the nfl hall of fame next year i would like them to come here to pat mcphie inc this is just

one person let us have you for two days let's have you for two days go through your speech with you and if it's not the most electric speech of the Hall of Fame, then I will never talk into a microphone again. You've got a lot of people out there talking who aren't normally talkers, and they deserve the massive moment. They've contributed their entire life to a sport, and they're getting, whatchamacallit, immortalized in the game forever. But a lot of those guys aren't great speakers. And boy, I just think if you get somebody with a little flair up there

to do a real good speech, you could really flip the night on its head. That thing is ripe for the taking by somebody. Ed Reed said something. His hat won the night. That was gorgeous. Ed Reed's hat won the night. A lot of emotional moments for all of the guys, Ed Reed included. Tony Gonzalez went up there, did okay.

Gil Brandt had 100 pages, and he led off the night. It just gets a little tough. It gets a little tough. Like, congratulations, you guys are the greatest of all time in your respective positions in football. But, boy, we got to do something to lighten that one up a little bit. You got people just rolling out. You got Hall of Famers getting on their wheelchairs,

get the fuck out of there about halfway through the night. Ah, man, we can't do this shit. I tried my best. I can't believe you did that. Bro, it's like six hours straight. A stealer goes in there, and I won't even attempt to watch the speech. Champ Bailey said, they all say amazing things, like sprinkled through. There's some really amazing things.

And I like to watch the delivery and the reaction. But, boy, that's a tough viewing from beginning top to bottom, beginning to end. They got Chris Berman going out there in between, cutting a little set. He's got a little hot two minutes up here. He's still got it. He's still got it.

Still brings the boomer once in a while. But boy, that was a tough watch. Were they like 45 minutes each? Gilbrand went first. I think it was 40 minutes first. And I think that kind of set the tone. They're absurdly long. They should be like 10 minutes tops.

And all of them say at the beginning, not going to keep you guys for too long here. Don't need to overdo it. Champ Bailey said, or I think it was Champ or one of them said, whenever I did this before, I forgot some names, and there's like 100 names. I won't do that again. I just know that you helped me.

And then throughout his thing, he went off and rattled about a hundred names. He went on and threw the whole thing. So it's like, I think they all have the goal and the mission to go up there, keep it quick, thank the people they need to, but they're not used to speaking in front of large gatherings of people.

So that changes everything. So they kind of just keep going. I just want one of them to come by here and just be like, all right, let's go ahead and get this thing. Let's get this thing tuned up so we can keep people, their attention for this 40 minutes

you're going to speak for probably. Break it up into episodes. As much as I'm not a Ray Lewis guy, he was entertaining last year. Exactly. Just need a little something, something, you know? Because boy, it's just, they set them up for failure too, right? They set them up for failure. was entertaining last year exactly just need a little something something you know because boy it's just they set them up for failure too right they set them up for failure i told this to one

executive that worked at esp and i was in an elevator with her she was a very nice lady and she was a comical person but she was like hour five of day one she had to go speak up there and she cracked like two jokes early that actually like got me to laugh right and i told her in the elevator i said you were in a terrible position you were five hours into this thing you had already most of the room was already about done listening to people and you went up there and dropped two jokes just very quickly i i was very impressed is exactly what i said to her in the elevator and she looked at me and she called me very smart and this whole thing but that was real those hall of fam, they're not in a good spot. If you're four hours into that thing and you're just about to go,

it was like Goldberg when he went into the Hall of Fame at WWE. There was nobody in the crowd. You're in a tough thing. I just want you to light it up. So anyways, we watched that. Okay. And I just want one person to be like, hey, let's punch it up a little bit.

You got it. Because those people are elite at something. You should hear what made them elite. That's why I listen, because they're sprinkling in greatness in there. We just got a title. It's a long show. They deserve it. Do whatever the hell you want.

I appreciate everything you've done for the game, but let's spice it up a little bit. I assume Tony Gonzalez is the most eloquent speaker, and I don't know how deep he went, so maybe you can let me know know because I was perusing his. Okay, because I would say there was just a constant flow of people leaving all throughout. Oh, yeah. Every time they painted the crowd, half the people were leaving.

By the way, that is something you would never see with the WWE. On the live shot, you would never see a single... They don't do seat fillers? What's that? Seat fillers where they just send someone random in there? That's a Hall of Fame? Yeah. I don't know. They didn't, obviously, because even the way they? Seat fillers where they just send someone random in there? That's a Hall of Fame? Yeah. I don't know.

They didn't, obviously, because even the way they were shooting, they were showing a lot of open seats. And I'm like, oh, hey, get out of there. Get out of there. Let's not show that. That's not good. They don't deserve this. Those people have been sitting there in the hot sun for hours and hours.

That's the kicker. Listening to fucking a lot of nothing, some gems. And I enjoy the thought that they all wear sunglasses in. Yeah. And none of them change when it gets dark. So you've got a lot of people wearing sunglasses at night in that place, and it's just like the norm. Like, yeah, we've been here since the sun came up.

We've stayed past the sun going down, and these are the only facial things. I bet you, I think some people are sleeping hot. Yeah, for sure. I think there's people sleeping hot there. Guaranteed. Zeed, we got to own this weekend. Your cigars, Zeed. I think some people are sleeping out there. I think there's people sleeping out there. Guaranteed. Zeed, we got to own this weekend. Your cigar, Zeed. I'm hat digs.

Ed Reed dominated us both walking out on that stage. Yeah, he had two cigars in his thing, too. And his bust is the best bust I've seen. Yes, of all time. Incredible. The bust maker for that particular bust for Ed Reed's really took the attention to detail well because it's not always good.

No. Not always. Deion Sanders was tough. Cristiano Ronaldo, all-time fail. He brought his own, like, bus builder. Who, Ed Reed? Yeah, he must have. I think you might have had a conversation with him.

Like, hey, bub, come on. Give you a cigar. I wonder if anybody ever does that because, I mean, that's what you're immortalized as. Long after you're gone people will travel to Canton Ohio to see it and they see your bust and it's just like oh my god that guy's face

that was a good bust though I think that's going to be the new standard I hope anyway so we watched that that's filled our time but we're getting to the bottom even checked poked my head around with the Avengers endgame yeah that was tough bro I didn't finish Bottom. Even checked, poked my head around it with the Avengers endgame. Okay. Yeah. And?

That was tough, bro. Should we get to the end? I didn't finish. I got an hour and 48 minutes in. I tried my best, man. That first hour, it's not for the casual fan. That first hour is tying up all the loose ends for the fans who know what's going on. It's nostalgic. Is it?

I think so. So it's tough to celebrate the nostalgia if you weren't there back in the day, which I was not. That's a fair criticism. You're right. So I powered through the first hour, but it was not easy.

Hawkeye losing his kids, opening scene, that's tough. It is. They deserved it for putting mayo on those hot dogs. Yeah, what was that? They were like, let's put some extra mayo on a hot dog.

Is that how they, I think they think that people, that's how I think they think in Hollywood, that people eat hot dogs over here in the man. That is true. They probably had a full

sit down meeting and were like, they're out there on a farm a little bit. We got to make them, you know, at least look like they could possibly be from there.

What are people from farms like? Hot dogs. Somebody wrote, yeah, we'll get them a hot dog. What else? Mayonnaise. Yep, put those two together. That they could possibly be from there. What are people from farms? Hot dogs. Somebody wrote, yeah, we'll get them a hot dog. What else? Mayonnaise. Yep, put those two together. That's what they do out there, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do. That is what I felt like. So it was tough. I didn't get to the end, but it was making sense to me. Yeah. Robert Downey Jr. lose that weight? Did he Matthew McConaughey that?

He might have. At the beginning of the movie, he looked like he had. When he was in space. Would he slim down? Yeah, because he had been in space. That's a good question. I don't know, to be honest. Did he McConaughey that? He might have. At the beginning of the movie, he looked like he had... When he was in space. Would he slim down? Yeah, because he had been in space. That's a good question. I don't know, to be honest. Did he McConaughey that?

I don't know. He might have. Because they can CGI so easily now. I don't know. Yeah, I fucking heard. I bet they CGI'd it. You taught me that in the game of Tag or the movie of Tag,

the guy had two broken arms the whole thing. Yeah, Jeremy Renner. I don't know. He lost his skin and broke his arm. And no fucking... This guy's got a rough ear and he's got no real superpower

other than the fact he can shoot a fucking bow and arrow good, which his daughter could do better than him before she died. Anyways. Good singer, though. Just came out. Who? Renner.

Oh, yeah. He's got a song now on Spotify. It's a banger. Crushes it. Are you serious? It's a banger? It's very good. Play it.

This is Hawkeye? Yeah, yeah This guy had two broken arms in a movie tag Could never tell Did you make it to the part where he got his hair cut? That's it, Big Ten, no Who's this? Jeremy Renner

I mean, leave some time for the rest of us, pal Who's this? Jeremy Renner. I mean, leave some time for the rest of us, pal. When does Renner start? Oh, this is him. Oh, yeah. He's got Joe brussel. He's got talent, man. It's not all archery. Heaven does have a name, though.

That particular line. Heaven does have a name. Let's see this settle. Dancing to the jukebox All I remember She grew up in Atlanta But she moved to the Bay An uptown beauty You could never escape Heaven don't have a name She keeps it old school This is a heater.

This is an absolute banger. All I gotta tell you I'll never be the same This is a hitter. This is an absolute banger. Did he win Best Actor for Hurt Locker? I don't think so, no. The movie did, though. Yes. It's a good movie, Hurt Locker. Yeah. Do you think he's going good movie, Hurt Locker. Yeah.

You think he's going on tour soon? Definitely. This dude's much better than James Dolan. The Knicks guy. Nobody likes him. It's going to be tough to perform when the crowd is just chanting about how much they hate you. That was great. That was great.

He's got chops. Couldn't watch the end of the movie. I got an hour and 48 in. I've heard the last hour and 20 minutes is solid. Maybe we'll get there. I had to buy it because you couldn't rent it. So I invested 20 bucks into that. You're welcome, Avengers, for doing what you got to do.

Oh, you couldn't rent it? Couldn't rent it yet. Well, I respect that you waited until after it passed Avatar to buy it because you didn't want to contribute to the money that was going to beat it. Fact. I know what you think. All I'm doing is building up the number for Avatar or whatever to come in and beat it. That's what I'm doing.

Respect that. So anyways, watch that. Watch the thing. I've literally hit the bottom on all those networks, so it's kind of freaking me out. I tried my best. That one, it sounds good. I'm happy that movie is existing

because I guess we'll dive into it. Sam watches the Handmaid thing. Don't do it. I've heard of it. It's fucked up. It's good, but it's fucked up. Like a drama? Yeah, it's set in the future, kind of like a dystopian.

It's weird stuff. I happened to walk in when Sam was watching one episode and boy, it was weird. I turned on one. I happened to walk in when Sam was watching one episode. And boy, it was a gripping scene. I was like, I am out of here. I was like, this is what you're watching during the day? Like, this is what we're. We need to probably not.

I mean, you're probably going to become an angry person. That's a bad scene for women. That's a bad scene. It's tough. It's tough to watch part of it, man. You're just like, oh, really? She just poked her eye out.

Sam and I have been together five state fairs. Oh, okay. Happy anniversary. We took our... See, that's the thing. I think anniversaries are for weddings. I agree.

Okay? And I have been scolded by Samantha and I think my mom even because this is the way my dad believes. Sam and I don't have an anniversary because we haven't been married yet. There's a period of time where we started hanging out, but are we just going to pick a day in there?

Can't do it. Just some arbitrary day? It's not like you're in seventh grade and you're like, hey, are we boyfriend and girlfriend today? Yeah, yes, no box. And you go back to the text and be like, see, it was arbitrary day. It's not like you're in seventh grade and you're like, hey, are we boyfriend and girlfriend today? Yeah, yes, no box. And you go back to the text and be like, see, it was this day. I don't want to disrespect our relationship. You know what I mean?

Right. Because what if I thought we were a lot more serious than we were earlier than she did? That just leads for me to be disappointed. I know. So you wait until there's the holy matrimony thing. That's the anniversary. Like, I believe our engagement date,

probably be one like, oh, this was the engagement day. And then the wedding's the anniversary. Todd, you've been through this a couple times. I couldn't agree with you more, brother. Okay. To me, it's like you're just celebrating the first date, basically, which is just, that's just two strangers agreeing to meet then accomplish one thing what do we celebrate were you ever able to celebrate anniversary did it ever make

all right thanks jesus todd you didn't deserve that valid question i would like to get an answer so the way i've kept track of our relationship is the amount of state fairs that we've gone to together. That's really romantic. It is. Thank you. Anytime. Hey, thank you, Foxy. Absolutely.

Happy birthday to you. That is a real anniversary. Thank you so much. Happy birthday to you. Appreciate you. So Sam and I have been together for five state fairs. That's a pretty long time.

That's good. And I love, we've talked about, thank you, by the way. I agree. That's an accomplishment. I told her, I said,

this is longer than high school. This is longer than my college. This is a long time. I mean, we That's an accomplishment. I told her. I said, this is longer than high school. Yeah. This is longer than my college. This is a long time. Yeah. I mean, we're creeping up on the career, my NFL career. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Like, this is a long time, Sam. And I'm enjoying every minute of it. Every minute of it. So we go to the state fair. It's our thing. And I enjoy it it i eat like shit this year i had a deep fried reese's oh wow oh it tasted just as delicious as you could i was

worried i was worried because i don't do the deep fried sweets because i like sweets a lot i don't need the extra garnish of fried shit on it sure don't ruin my oreo i like oreos already if i can dip it in milk life's even better but i don't try the deep fried oreo or anything like that but reese's which somebody asked me on ig why do we pronounce it wrong i think they pronounce it wrong clearly i think reese's come on that's a bad business thing. Recess? That's school. Reese's. How does someone else pronounce it? Reese's. Reese's.

Reese's. In the Midwest, or at least like Iowa, Minnesota, and kind of over, it's Reese's. But you get around Reese's enough, that doesn't sound wrong either. Reese's sounds better. I grew up hearing Reese's. I prefer to say it that way. And we're wrong, by the way. I know, we're wrong.

We are wrong with the Reese's. It's more fun to say, too. Yeah. It's a better business name. I bet you if they could go back and start it over again, they would just add another E at the end of that thing, and it would be Reese's. Because that's what it is.

Yes. Anyways, there's a deep fried Reese's. And it was fucking unbelievable. We went specifically for that and that, well, we want, because it's our thing, but with a mission to try the deep fried Reese's and also a deep fried ice

cream cookie sandwich. Wow. Sign me up for that one. We couldn't find it though. They gave us the run around to a couple of different stops. And to be honest, it's a big state fair. I didn't want to go back and do another lap.

Sam and I decided, you know what? They made it too hard to find. And to be honest, it's a big state fair. I didn't want to go back and do another lap. Sam and I decided, you know what? They made it too hard to find. This is on them, not on us. I'm thinking about going for my first time next week, Two Buck Tuesdays.

Oh, you're going to love it. So you said you were looking for the ice cream stand. Was there a list of foods beforehand that I could... Yeah. You got to get in the end. It's on the internet.

It'll list you off. All the things are... You should have. You are here, Matt, for the foods. Well, I think they do. They listed the deep fried ice cream sandwich wrong. Because we went to the place it was supposed to be. And they said, no, no, no.

It's back around where we were like fucking three hours ago. Because it's a long walk. And Sam and I decided, you know, it's like 400 degrees out here. Probably not going to take it. Maybe next year we'll get it. So we got the deep fried Reese's, got the big ass turkey leg. We really did some good eating there. I mean, you name it, it's at the State Fair. We didn't grow up with State Fairs where I'm from.

Plum Community Day is the only thing we had. And there was a hot dog man that was on a little wagon. You bought those. You get your face painted by the high school cheerleaders if you wanted to. And a funnel cake. And a funnel cake and a dunk tank that's all i need oh yeah and every once in a while there'd be a musician up on the stage and that was pump community days so in my head that was every state fair or whatever any fair is a festival and then i get to indiana the state fair is its own world it is literally its own world sam and i I do it all. We eat the food. Then we go try to win some games. She won three fucking fish in a completely rigged game.

Nobody else was winning around us. I saw a line of 15 little children and their families not win a single goldfish. Sam won three of them. It's just a nightmare of a scene. We got hustled by a couple carnies. We played the little water squirt game. The best of the game. Good shot.

You're good at the water game? So good. I will let you know that I, going into this state fair, had been 4-0 against Sam in the water squirt game. Does that make sense? Yeah. 4-0. She's also good.

Four-time defending champion. Four-time. Four-time. Four-time. Four-0. She's also good. Four-time defending champion. Four-time. Four-time. Four-time. Four-time. I even give her a little gift thing. A little thing that I win. You're welcome. It's a gentleman's move. Thank you.

This time we sit down against three little redneck kids on the stools next to us. It's a five-person race. And I'll tell you what. First one, false false start but the water got the shoot you didn't have to push it down it automatically shot a little bit of a false start because the carny didn't turn on one of the people's things come on guy hold on though i was off a little bit the thing shot up to the right so i adjusted adjusted during the break. Sam and the people were trying to talk to me. My hands

were just locked in. Locked in. They hit the go. I'm blacked out the entire time. The entire time. I lose to one of the kids. Rigged. Game's rigged. My guy was slower than that one over there. Sam wasn't happy either

because she said she was on the black dot the entire time. we got fucked by the state fair and I'm not going to stand for it I'm supposed to be 5-0 now some little kid that didn't even have shoes on well

yelling around with a mullet well I mean who's regulating those games I mean that's what I'm saying Carney's favorite Carney's you know what

I really wanted to go to the state fair this year I'm going to protest it out of spite for you. It's right next to the Fishy Friend game. Go over there. Fishy Friend's nothing but winners, apparently. Did you have to go buy a tank and stuff after?

No, no. I gave those away. Oh, you did? They gave us little tickets, little Monopoly tickets, that we could come back later and get the fish because they didn't have any on them at the time. So you got it took them tried to pawn them off on a family that we saw that person actually commented on my

thing that i tried to pawn the fish off on my husband we did not take the fishy friends either i would like to know where those things ended sam's a fucking sniper though i never seen by drain buckets like that so then we wanted to we wanted to... There's everything at the State Fair. It's awesome. There's rides. I would never get on one, but they're there. Sound move. You don't do that.

I've driven by it like six to ten times, and that Ferris wheel has not been moving once. I assume everyone is on the same page. Don't get on the fucking Ferris wheel. Anything on there is a little tough. They had this one that's like a, it looks like an amusement park one where it spins and swings and it's going very fast. And I'm like, who's put this together?

Just a couple of the nuts and bolts and then yeah, put the kids on there. I think parents are putting their kids on there. So if they die, it's not on them. It's on the, I think they're trying to get, yes. Yeah, that thing's been in use since 1935, and they got guys taking it down and putting it up every year. You're bound to be missing a few bolts. Elvis was on it, yeah.

Who's going on that? Like Sam, each year, jokes like, oh, we're going to go on it. And I don't even, I kill it with indifference. I don't even acknowledge it. There's no chance we're getting on that thing. So we wanted to, there's a lot of, there's like stores and shit there's everything so we wanted to you know immortalizes the day yeah so there's a caricature drawer oh yeah i love those sky yeah this guy was drawing right there he also had a tent with a fan on it so in our eyes it was a win-win we've been

out there for two three hours it's like 100 degrees we're bouncing around eating some food and we sit down for this caricature thing and the guy's asking us about our story you know we're like oh this is our fifth state fair actually uh this is how we're gonna remember it you know we've gotten things in the past that we've lost that haven't been great but this one was gonna be one we were gonna remember a caricature drawing we're gonna put it on aature drawing we're going to put it on a fridge okay we're going to put this motherfucker on a fridge guy's asking us all the right questions you know he's like how long you guys been together we're like all five state fairs fifth one is this gonna be awesome oh did you get

engaged yeah very recently we got engaged uh oh you guys are gonna get married yeah we're gonna get married he's like oh that's beautiful and then he asked sam he's like where'd you guys get engaged at she tells a story waterfall helicopter you know the whole thing he's like oh that's beautiful and then he asked sam he's like where'd you guys get engaged at she tells a story waterfall helicopter you know the whole thing he's like oh that's beautiful stare this way stare this way uh and she had to lock in and then i had to lock in and people were just driving by because they have a little trolley that goes and we're basically on display for this people that drive by so a lot of people recognize me and sam and a lot of people were taking pictures And the guy's caricature was going towards the crowd. So he was drawing.

And Sam gets to go around and see it. This dude drew Sam with six knives. Me standing on a target. One of the knives is in my forehead. One of the knives is in my forehead. One of the knives is in my heart. One's in my ball sack. And then my thought says, it's not fun anymore. Oh my God.

So this guy drew a murderous caricature. And these kids are just driving by like saying hi to me and I had no idea that the picture that they were being shown while they were driving by was like me with a knife in my head

and Sam like going to throw another one and Sam looks at him and goes this motherfucker we had to pay him 50 bucks

we had to pay him 50 bucks for his time we had to pay him for that I was like I was like Sam I'm gonna put it up on the fridge pay 50 bucks and the guy. I had to pay him for that. I was like, Sam, I'm going to put it up on a fridge. Pay 50 bucks. And the guy even gave a little thing on the bottom you can

rip off for authenticity. Like a certificate of authenticity. I was like, thanks, man. Really appreciate it. So that'll be up on a fridge for at least a year. So you're like a retired political cartoonist from the times or something? Sam was like,

Sam was like, that guy's got mental illness. I was like, why? She's like, we were talking about love and happiness when it was our fifth day fair and everything like that. And this guy's just doodling a murder. Like, what does this guy do at home, you think? I have no idea, Sam. I have not thought of the caricatures.

So when you unveiled it was you were you just like oh cool uh there was people there talking to me so there was a couple people there that we had just met talking to me and sam's looking at it and i turn around and sam goes look how nice look how nice and i go oh you were aggressive with it that was my exact thought it was like a little a little uh creative integrity here angry trees and uh he was like yep and then he told me the price and i paid him and then he put it in a bag for us to carry around but it was flat in the bag and it was a clear bag so sam was walking with her she's like i'm not fucking walking with this i was like well we can't throw it away so i rolled it up oh yeah smart because i'm an art guy yeah the fucking starch paper was so strong that

thing popped open in the bag and i'd just been walking with it for like an hour until we got back to the car couldn't even imagine how many people saw me with a knife in my head so sam is not exactly thrilled with the caricature guy you guys thought that was for you that was for him 100 that was probably his hundred That was for him. 100%. That was probably his 100th couple of the day talking about how much they love each other. And I go, oh, these fucking good people. I'll show them. Hold on.

Let me. Oh, you have a photo of it? Yeah. Oh, yes. I can't wait. Didn't release a photo of it strictly so I could tell this story. So stay for it. It was a good time.

And now A reading By Zito Thank you, Pat I will say The reason why we started these Was because Zito was going to do a reading at the wedding Correct Sam listens to the show

She believes that he's potentially getting worse at reading I had a good one last week I don't think you did The last couple have been Probably your worst takes yet and i'm wondering if it's because it's wedding season zeets and you're kind of losing confidence yeah maybe but the good thing is you got uninvited to that wedding so they were not happy things are looking up i I guess the wedding couple we didn't take into consideration

didn't love the thought of a random listener of this show going as Zito's plus one, so his invite got rescinded this weekend. That's a real story, by the way. I have to take back the gift, too. Got him a sword, huh? You got him a sword? Got a toaster.

Anyway, so wedding season, Ze Zeke contest is officially over. Unless you come with Zito's to my wedding. Oh. Which, Zito, we don't know if you're invited yet. We don't know if you're reading yet. Let's hope this one's better than your last. So if I become a better reader, I could go to your wedding? Yeah, the goal is to have you read during the wedding.

That was kind of the theme all along here. The goal is to have a reading by Zito mid-wedding. I thought it was an in-and-out kind of thing. Like, get out of here. Oh, you think you're making an appearance. Get out. Like, you're not invited. Hey, this is Zito just for the reading.

We're holding you up in a green room in the back. Security, please. Bring you in, kick you out. I think you're invited to the whole thing, but you will have a performance if Okay. If you can read good. Hmm. Well, let's go. Let's conquer this.

Let's. Do it. Now. We know you've had it circled on your calendar for months, but it... Oh, fuck. The commas always get me. Commas always get me there. Do you pause?

Yes. Yes, that's what a comma is. How big of a pause? Brief. Less than a period. A little bit less than a period. More than a semicolon. For you, it's for you to catch your breath.

By the way, don't let anybody use semicolons. Nobody uses those anymore. Let's cancel that out. Restart. You use semicolons, Ty? Oh, yeah, in text messages all the time. Oh, Jesus. Really?

Yep. Where I put two periods, you probably should put the semicolon, huh? Yeah, well, not necessarily. If you're putting like a lisp behind it, which I'm assuming you're doing, you know, you keep the semicolons there. Wait for a lisp? A lisp. A list.

With several commas. Mike Tyson loves semicolon. That is Jose Perez from Chicago saying that. He still got it, too. Yeah, I know he does. We know you've had it circling your counter for months. That was too long. It's too long of a pause.

His brain. I wish people could see his face. He was literally... He started figuring out how long he was supposed to pause there. But just in case you didn't know already, National CBD Day is just around the corner on Thursday, August 8th. Whoa, a couple of days away here. A couple of days away.

And as founders of this well-known and historic holiday, CBDMD has a big celebration planned. Period. Yep. Between entertainment content, flash sales, giveaways, and more. CBDMD has a full day of exciting things that you won't want to miss. This is probably supposed to be such a big thing. The founders of CBD. This company created a day for CBD.

And they're talking about having these flash sales and giveaways and all this massive thing. And all Zito can think about is how long he's supposed to pause after each comma in between and the periods at the end of the sentence. There's dashes. I don't know what dash is. What do you do with dashes there? What's the word that's dashed? It just goes, it's a celebration of all things CBD dash so. It's another pause. Another small pause.

Jesus. Jesus has got nothing to do with this. So whether you're looking to snack. Oh, Jesus. Jesus got nothing to do with this. So whether you're looking to snack some more gummies, topicals, or Pat's favorite CBD PM, or you really want to learn more about CBD,

CBDMD and National CBD Day as a whole, there is something for you to enjoy. I'm not a fan of commas. Any punctuation, really. You've decided commas are the enemy of Zito. And no turning

on the red light. The right turn ones, I hate those. When people just sit there? Yeah. Yeah, just go. Stop stopping at train tracks, too. Get rid of commas. Train track is the comma of the road. To keep up with all the CBDMD has planned for National CBD Day

and not miss a second of the fun, follow them on Instagram at CBDMD.USA. Or is that just... Did you just scratch the paper like there was a smudge on it? I thought it was a smudge. you just scratched the paper like there was a smudge i thought it was a smudge at cbd md.usa and keep an eye out for exciting opportunities you thought the smudge looked like dot usa you thought the dot was a smudge i think right yeah because you're not used to hearing social media names with a period in the middle can you have a period in it i'm not sure yeah

you can yeah you can billy's saying he can. Billy knows. He saw Hobbs and Shaw. I don't know if we're too that in the movie show yet, but spoiler alert, Billy saw Hobbs and Shaw. For exciting opportunities to save big and win some high quality CBD products, but if the

excitement of National CBD Day is keeping you up at night, or you just want to celebrate Pat's big deal with ESPN, congratulations, by the way, by binge-eating gummies and shotgunning tinctures. It's like a party. Sounds like a CBD party. Yeah, a lot of CBD there.

All Pat McAfee listeners can get 20% off right now by going to CBDMD. Sorry, I was excited. We're excited about the 30% off. Sorry. CBDMD.com and using excited about the 20% off. CBDMD.com and using promo code McAfee at checkout. Once again, that's CBD.com CBDMD.com

promo code McAfee at checkout. 20% off your order. And don't forget to follow CBDMD on Instagram at CBDMD.USA to keep track of all the upcoming festivities. I'll tell you what, you really did well with that one. I overcame comments.

Even those comments. Zito, I'll tell you what, Bob. Are you going to put comments on yours? For the wedding one? Please don't. I'm telling you, after that last one right there, I think we're losing the sponsor. Come on.

And the reading by Zito. We did a good job. We did, yeah. You struggled through that one quite a bit. We overcame, though. Yeah, but it's not about Rudy on wedding day. It's not about an underdog wedding day you know it's not about an underdog story he was offsides it's about showcasing the reading by zito on the wedding

day i enjoy after he finishes a sentence he looks up at you for approval to see if the sentence is properly finished like as if i wrote it yeah the thing about it is the CBD MD The CBD PM Oh yeah Really did change my life Puts me to sleep Have great dreams And my body does feel better When I wake up The CBD gummies

I had a little bit of a headache This weekend After a pool Took the gummy Let go of the headache CBD does magical things National CBD Day National CBD Day

Is tomorrow Thursday Thursday Yeah Let's go ahead and celebrate that with a massive cbd md purchase for 20 off the office is going to do it i hope the listeners do and zito's definitely going to do it just try to keep them on board yeah i'm going to buy a lot just to make you i'm mad at me and use the promo code so it looks as if we did it with different credit cards good idea i think if we were to score that one, I mean, Ds get degrees, right?

I think you're a 60%. I think it was a 60% that one. Can you give me like a 67 or something? No, I don't think you got 6.7 of the words out of 10 words right. I think you got about 6 out of 10 words right. So are we at 6.5? Nope.

No, I think you're at 60%. But that means a lot of room for growth and we've come a long way. You were like 2 for 10 there at the beginning of reading. I think I should take some CBD to relax a little bit. Now we're talking about

maybe next week you get bumped up. Shout out to CBDMD. Happy CBD day. Let's get back to the show. I would recommend it, though. I mean, a lot of positive stuff, too. Is it cash only? You know, I'd take cash.

Okay. And there's an ATM there as well. Oh, okay. I assume they take cards somewhere, though. You've got to see all the animals, you know? Mm-hmm. It's all called Pigs Diner. Oh, I love those.

Stay fair winning pigs? There's only, can be one winner, bro. Well, I guess there's like 45 different levels, but I saw the award-winning sunflower big ass fucking sunflower this thing won the indiana state fair blah blah blah they're gonna say underwhelmed i think it's 4h or something like that oh yeah well 4h you can win for best potato potato you bet best corn best sunflower seed and really all it is is just the air conditioner you're going in to look at and it's this sunflower seed was this big it was this big it was massive i don't know how to keep it fresh because sam was breaking down with four h's and when you get into the flower department of 4-h you got to go regional so you got to win your regional fair to get to the state fair oh

yeah you got to get you got to get to the playoffs to get to the state fair. Oh, like Super Bowl. Yeah, you got to get to the playoffs to get to the state fair. How do they keep these flowers alive for four months? Do they press the paper? Is that real? Yeah, I mean, that's a thing that people do. No, they don't see. Or are they actually like flowers? Flowers.

It's in a pot? Holy shit. Yeah, it's in a pot. That's crazy. Oh, it's living. It's living. Good fertilizer. We did a bunch of new pottery around the pool on Friday

because I was supposed to do an interview there. Right. And then the person just didn't show up. Very unprofessional. Rescheduled it and then didn't show up again. Oh, my God. He canceled the reschedule? He's a big deal, though.

Yeah. But I wanted to make the pool look nice because that's probably where we're gonna sit because he was coming to the house sure not a lot of people have seen my house not a normal thing to showcase the house so sam felt all worried you know like oh i gotta clean this place up gotta make it look good if old buddy's coming so sam busts her ass cleaning this house out hides all the vitamins you know any thought of anything potentially bad cleans the whole place, gets new flowers for around

the pool. Our place looks like a Four Seasons all of a sudden. Nice. I'm pretty excited that this guy did this because Sam fucking made the place look awesome. Then a guy just no-shows. Unbelievable. Even had a pair of swimming trunks set out for him in case he wanted to get in the pool. You're welcome, pal. Yeah.

Unbelievable. I mean, who does that? And then the flowers, those things are going to die before tomorrow. These 4-H people got their flowers for four months still blooming. I don't know. I think they're juicing. That's what I'm saying.

I think they're cheating. I think these little fucking 4-H teens around Indiana are cheating. Yeah, it's like Icarus. You're talking about months, right? Months. How do you... Flowers don't last that long.

I know. There was a... How do you take care of them, though? I don't think that's accurate. No, it's not accurate. I've seen flowers for like longer than two months. You know what happens in my house is the deer eat all of them. Oh, there you go.

I told you, dude. Fuck those deer. They're pests. You're going to get deer poisoning. Put them in a flower. Oh, jeez. You can't have dead deer in my flowers. You can't be dead.

You know, the foxes showed up and they took everything out. The foxes take all the squirrel and rabbits. Even the deer left. We had no animals other than foxes when the family of foxes was living on our property. Thanks, fox. Everything was gone, but the flowers were blooming. They're like the protector of the flowers. That's Foxy.

Foxy, that's what Foxy does. That's what I do. You're a flower protector. Love flowers. Love plowing through one, too, don't you? Exactly. Whoa. For the state fair, was there a

butter eating contest there? They had a watermelon seed spitting thing. Oh, I could do good in there. Did they have any basketball shooting games? Oh yeah, they're all... Can't play those games. All those things fit in the rim. I're all. Good luck. Can't play those games. I thought you might. All those things fit in the rim.

I've tried the last three. Maybe the first three state fairs I gave it a go. It was like my pride was a little bit upset whenever it didn't fall. These last two years, though, now I'm five years into this thing. You ain't getting my fucking money. You ain't getting five bucks for three shots. We know what's going on. Yeah.

There's no way that thing's falling. What is it? a bigger ball? Well, the hoop is just, they have it as fat. It is as fat as it should be. Double rims. But no, they press the front back. Oh. Smart.

And then you're shooting like a beach ball on top of it. Yeah. Yeah, those carnies know. I mean, it's a hustle for sure. I think you've got to bank it in, though. Yeah. I think the only play is the bank. Because a lot of people who have actual shots, they go up there and try to make it,

and you just see it just rattle, brick. You've got to bank it, I think, is the only option. I don't think I've ever won that game, though. Yeah, I don't see anybody do well in that game. How about the bowling ball roll over the hump? I used to always love that one. Did you ever win it? Not at the Indian State Fair. How about just bowling ball roll over the hump? I used to always love that one. Did you ever win it? Not at the Indian State Fair.

How about just in general? Oh, yeah, one time. Yeah, I won it at Kennywood once. You won it? Yep. Really? I'm not sure I've ever won that game. It took a while.

The other one is that twirling piece of metal that you've got to put in the hole. Don't like that one stuff. Can't get that one. Don't like that one. Got to have patience. These are all the classic Carnegie games. The shooting gun, the rifle gun for the star. Yeah.

All bullshit. The ball throw at the weird looking clowns. Always love that one. Oh, and the light bulb that always turns on and you gotta unscrew it and it still stays on.

That's from X-Men. That's from Wolverine. I don't think I've seen that game. That's true. What we're currently doing is trendy carnival games. Is that what you're referring to? Yeah. What is it called?

It's called Screwy Lightball. Is it a light ball? Not for the B at the end. The B's silent. Yeah, the B's silent. Reese's. Lightball. Recess.

But I enjoy those little games, but you're not going to catch me playing a lot of money. Oh, money wheel? I mean, you could blow like a grand in there, no problem. Yes, you can. You end up with $4 worth of massive prizes. And you have to carry around. You've got to carry around this big fluffy furry thing. It's 100 degrees.

Just give them away. Anyway, stay for a good time. You should still go. No money wheel. I didn't see any Chuckaluck out there. That's concerning. That is concerning. I don't think there's gambling. I didn't see any Chuckaluck out there. That's concerning. That is concerning. I don't think there's gambling.

I don't think there's gambling at the Indian State Fair. Even more concerning. Yeah, all the fairs back in Pittsburgh, you go into the basement of the church one. Yep. There's a fucking full-on card game going. That's the only reason to go. You got the priest playing against high school kids.

We're ranking at least 20% of this thing. That was wild. I don't think that happens in a state fair. Did you go see movies this weekend, too? Okay, did anybody go see Hobbs and Shaw? No. You saw it, Billy? Bailey did, yeah.

Okay, Billy, it was number one in the box office this weekend, not only domestically, but worldwide, wide, wide. The Rock told me that. $180 million, I guess, globally, $60 million domestic, $200 million budget. Who knows how much on marketing. All The Rock does is deliver. Am I accurate?

The movie was incredible. The movie was one hour too long. If it was an hour shorter, it would have been an amazing movie. How long was the movie? It was nearly three hours. Are you? I was going to go as well. And as soon as he told me it was three hours, I don't think I got that in me.

Fucking Titanic. You've already seen half of it, too, with the trailers and the commercials. No, you haven't. Not even three hours. I thought for sure we had seen at least three quarters of the movie, basing off an hour and a half movie. The Rock was like, no, no, we got more teasers if we need them. This is a fucking marathon.

Three hours, Billy? The whole jail scene that you said, like, oh, yeah, we got more teasers if we need them. This is a fucking marathon. Three hours, Billy? The whole jail scene that you said like, oh, yeah, I know everything, what happens. They share a jail cell, they fight, whatever. Not even in the movie. Oh, so happy. What are you talking about? It does not exist in the movie. He said he knocked himself out on set because

of how intense he was in that jail scene. Get you off the sense. Classic misdirect. So they had more than three hours worth of scenes? This was the three hours that made it? That's why it was $200 million. Oh, my God. It was awesome, though, huh? If you go into it expecting it to be,

what was the movie with The Rock and Mark Wahlberg, the weightlifting? Oh, yeah, yeah. Pain and Gain. If you go into it expecting it to be like a bro comedy, kind of like that, like all alpha male stuff, it's a great movie. Oh, it's hilarious. Yeah, because I like that movie a lot, because it like a bro comedy, kind of like that, like all alpha male stuff, it's a great movie.

Oh, it's hilarious. Yeah, because I like that movie a lot because it almost made fun of those kind of movies. What are you going in thinking of the English patient? Wait, a little bit of a storyline. It had way more humor than any of the other Fast and Furious. Yeah, it didn't try to be Fast and Furious. It tried to be its own thing.

Oh, it couldn't be. Well, three hours. Was it 99% action? It was no driving, almost. Like, it wasn't, nothing in the Fast and Furious movie. One of the drivers were in it. Yeah.

Yeah, makes sense. The Rock drove, if it's in the movie, I seen him take a street bike, lay that thing sideways, spin it, and then grab somebody's arm and end up with the bike i think somewhere else that street bike is it is its own character in the movie the street bike is is it like transformers yeah pretty much oh my god talk

no it does not talk like night rider pretty much everything except for that there i guess there's some guest appearances that pop up out of nowhere he made an Instagram video alluding to it being Kevin Hart for sure and I'm not sure if that's accurate I don't want to give it away The Rock told me not to give it away I have not seen it but it sounds like it's Kevin Hart

Kevin Hart appears about 2 hours and 15 minutes into the movie no spoilers no spoilers you would recommend it though? yeah no it was fun. It was a fun movie, for sure. Oh, let's go.

Three hours. I don't know if there's anything fun. It's a long time, man. Three hours. Hey, Dwayne, I'm going to have to wait for that one to come out at the house. Three hours is a long movie. Good for them, though. Yeah.

Three hours is a hell of a movie. Did your bladder handle it? No, I would go to the bath probably four times in a trip that's gonna suck for you at the movies it's bad it's tough especially if the the movie theater i go to the women's bathrooms on one uh wing of the movie here and the men is on the opposite wing so if you have a theater that's in the women's wing it is a haul to get to the men's wing. I got to go through almost the lobby too. So normally there's a stop or two.

Pat, how's it going? Oh, great, man. You know what? I left the theater for no reason. You got nothing to do, honestly. Just walking around. Just walking around a movie theater. But it's nice. People are nice.

Good movie poster over there. Oh, hey, man. Just taking a tour. Three hours. Three hours on a long movie. $180 million, though. I'm all in. How much are you making China?

$120 probably. It's going to be at a billion, bro. No problem. Oh, Dwayne. Good for him. Good for them. Good for Dwayne. All right.

That's the show. Hashtag Endgame. Hashtag endgame. Hashtag endgame. Tell us something that if it was three hours long, you would enjoy it. That's all I want to know. Just something, if it was three hours long, you would enjoy it.

I can't wait to hear your answers. Best answer wins some merch. Let's go. Have 20% off still at the store. PatMcAfeeShow.com. Promo code ThursdayNightMcAfee. Hashtag. Has at the store. Pat McAfee show.com. Promo code Thursday night McAfee. Hashtag. Hashtag Thursday night McAfee.

We got a new line of shit coming out. Basically, that means I have a new wardrobe. So if you'd like to partake, we have some good stuff. High quality stuff as well. We've been moving on up. Trying to make, well, mostly because I have to wear this stuff. So I would like it to feel good on my body. Yeah, that store's second to none, man.

It is a good store. It's a great line of clothing. We have a pretty good store. It's come a long way. It really has come a long way. And it is literally just what we would wear. So we outfit ourselves. It's not a bad play.

Smart. I bet you Steve Jobs would do this. Oh, yeah. That's what he did. The iPod. He just wanted one. Made everybody else do this. That's what he did. The iPod. He just wanted one. Made everybody else do it.

Three hours of something you would enjoy. Excluding sports. Because those are so many different things. So many different things are happening for those three hours. You got comedy, you got action, you got drama, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, which I think you could say for

Fast and Furious. Maybe Fast and Furious is what you would do for three hours. Sorry. Hobbs and Shaw. Hobbs and Shaw. It's not Fast and Furious. No. It's Hobbs and it's Shaw. We've taken the cars completely out of it, but we got motorcycles, which I like.

So he doesn't speak? No, he doesn't speak at all. The dirt bike? The street bike? No, but it can be at all. The dirt bike? The street bike? No, but it can be like, it drives itself. It does everything except for speak. Like Batman? Yeah.

I'm way behind that. The bat bike? The hob's bike. Hey, the fucking hover thing's working. Mm-hmm. It's back. Oh, the flyboard. Ha-ha!

The Frenchman made it over the canal. Zagata? The channel, sorry. Is that his name? Zapata. Oh, he's French? Yeah. The shoes.

Nick sent me text. Exact words. I don't trust the French much, but it feels like this is their world. They have the market cornered on the hoverboard, flyboard game, so we're kind of at their mercy here for this one. Do you think ESPN would sign off on you flying one of those to the Thursday night football locations? So that we can write it off and have ESPN pay for it. Come on, man.

You come in with that thing. Lower yourself down to the booth. Deliver the ball in. Deliver the ball to the ref. I thought Chris Collinsworth had a good slide in when he saw this shit. Fly that thing from the center of the field where I dropped the ball off right up to the booth. Send it up to the roof to park itself like it's a fucking Tesla. Park yourself right on top there.

Going to need you around fourth quarter. That'd be awesome. Three hours of something you'd enjoy. Can't wait to hear it. Ty Schmidt, hit the music. Finally got a piece of the pie Fish don't fry in the kitchen Beans don't burn on the grill Took a whole lot of trying Just to get up that hill

Now we're up in the big leagues Gets my turn at best Long we live, it's you and me baby Ain't nothing wrong with that. Forever moving on up to the east side. To a sea like the heartless in the sky. Moving on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie