The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 100 - We're Back With A $30 Million Dollar Man, Jacoby Brissett. Let's Go.

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

On today’s show, Pat and the guys are back from a 2 week hiatus with an exclusive interview with the newly christened QB1 of the Indianapolis Colts, as Jacoby Brissett joins the show live from the Colts’ indoor practice facility. They discuss everything stemming from the shock of Andrew Luck retiring, if his viral reaction on the sideline is when he first found out, and what his mindset was like coming into the building as the starter. They also chat about his preparation as we get closer to the start of the regular season, what is on his playlist during pregame, and how he wants people to view his game as starting quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts (3:24-31:36). Pat and the guys also discuss Brissett signing a $30 million extension twenty minutes after the end of their interview together, go over Andrew Luck’s retirement some more, they cover all the moves the Houston Texans have made in the last few days, and whether or not it makes them a better football team. They also do a deep dive into the AFC South, and react to Shady McCoy signing with the Chiefs. Pat also has a few thoughts on Jalen Hurts and some other things in the college football landscape, Dave Chappelle’s new standup special Sticks & Stones, and breaks down his fall schedule in detail. It’s good to be back. Come and laugh with us, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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one this one might be the best one yet i don't know if that's an actual statement jacoby brissett hot topic right now just got paid 30 million dollars yesterday slightly before that he sat down with us for a 30-minute conversation about his life right now. And now he is all of a sudden QB1 in Indianapolis. There was Peyton Manning. There was Andrew Luck. Now there is Jacoby Bursette. We had a great

conversation. He opened up with us, too. Don't know how he did it. All that money. This show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Seat our presenting sponsor SeatGeek SeatGeek is the greatest ticket buying platform on planet earth And the moon That's right

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I was trying to see how far we would go. He was very eager with that. I like Joe Bros, though, by the way. Hey, I could have went to Joe Bros with Greeny. Yeah. Would have met Joe Bros. Joe Bros could have been our guest today. Instead, Jacoby Brissett.

So I do apologize for a little bit of a letdown for you pop fans like myself. We can get them on the show. They're going to be out here soon. We won't be in town. You'll hear all about our schedule coming up in the show. It's an insane one. But know if you're going to go to a concert, live event, or any game, SeatGeek has the best tickets for you at the best price.

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Ladies and gentlemen, live from the indoor practice facility in Indianapolis, Indiana for the Indianapolis Colts, we are joined by the starting quarterback, Jacoby Brissett. How's it going, man? It's going good. We are hearing that all the time. Yeah, you are the starting quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts right now. Yeah, I am. This has been quite a couple-week run here, not only for you, but for an entire organization.

A couple years ago, you came to the team like 10 days before the season started seven sorry that's on me kind of got baptized by fire getting thrown into the offense and now this year you've had a couple years under your belt about to get into it we'll talk about that soon uh you're originally going to go to florida ended up at nc state well i did go to florida for two years then transferred to NC State. Okay. Why'd you transfer? Charlie Weiss left. We got a new OC and Jeff Driscoll was the quarterback and they told me I wasn't going to play. So I got out of there. So you go to NC State, you ball out. Absolutely ball out for the Wolf Pack. How? QBU.bu qbu how come you have the most star core vaccine in the door okay including you who to meet philip mr rivers uh russell oh yeah so you're gonna say yeah yeah i mean there was quite a situation there with Russell. And then you have two other guys that's in a league.

Okay, so you come from QBU. You end up being a third-round draft pick to the New England Patriots. When you go to the New England Patriots as a quarterback, there's obviously the greatest quarterback of all time in Tom Brady and a very handsome Italian kid named Jimmy G. Did you expect that to be an awkward situation? And then you guys became tight. It became like a wolf pack

yeah do you think that situation maybe helped you with this situation uh no question uh you know it's two guys that i can always lean on you know and the stuff that i've learned from those guys has been invaluable uh things that i still you know carry over to this day and it's a bond and a friendship that you know it's gonna last a long a long time you get traded over here uh jimmy g is now obviously starting quarterback for the niners you know, is going to last a long time. You get traded over here. Jimmy G is now obviously starting quarterback for the Niners. Tom Brady is going to play for probably another 35, 40 years. Hopefully. Legit, though.

Are you on the TB12 treatment? No, I'm not on it, but I'm for him playing for that long. He's good, man. What did you learn behind the scenes about Tom Brady? You know, what I always say, you know, it's his preparation. His mindset going into the game of knowing his assignment, knowing the other team, their weakness, and just being disciplined to exploit it. You know, play after play, and you know, he finds the guy that he knows can't beat him,

and he's gonna beat him. Did he hit you up after this whole thing came to be? Yeah, and we talked fairly often, did he hit you up after this whole thing came to be yeah and we talked very uh fairly often but uh he hit me up uh you know probably like two days afterwards and you're tight with bill parcells as well i've heard close close close i assume you got a flooded with messages after this whole thing came to be jacoby brissett became a hot name you were trending i believe right alongside Luck so I'm assuming everybody hit you up what were all the messages from all your close people what one stuck out uh it was a lot of you know support uh a lot of people uh a lot of numbers that I didn't know so I'm sorry if I did oh you're blowing people off you're starting quarterbacking the NFL now

yeah yeah yeah you gotta do what you gotta do but uh you know a lot of support, you know, and just a lot of love being spread. You know, the message that kind of stuck out the most was somebody just texted me and goes, you know, like, it's crazy how things turn out. And it was a long list of stuff that went on in that text message, but it's just the message of, like, it's crazy how a lot of things went out. Just based on how things have gone in my career, you know, it's just the opportunity has presented itself. What did you learn from two years ago where you got wins, and you can't say it, but I'll say it. It was a bad team, a bad situation for you.

Everything was looking bad, and you still got wins. Wield the team to wins. What did you learn from that season a couple years ago that you'll carry with you now? You know, control what I can control. You know, when I stepped in two years ago, it was more so just, you know, I was trying to, you know, think that I was controlling a lot of things because I didn't know something. So I was trying to, you know, was trying to control what this person is doing, what this person is doing,

rather than just understanding my job and trusting that everybody else is doing their job too. And I think that being in this system, being around these guys for three years, but being in this system two years has given me a lot of that clarity of being able to trust other guys and control my game rather than trying to control the big piece. Watching Luck's and the Indianapolis Colts' success second half of last year, I'm assuming that type of thing helps you out too because you watch what Luck was able to do within the system, what worked, what didn't work.

Now they're going to be kind of catering to you within the system. What did you learn from last year with the success? I think when you look back and watch what Andrew did, he did what was best for him, you know, what he thought was his strengths. And, you know, Frank and Nick and Marcus do a good job of playing to, you know, their quarterback strengths. So, you know, that's the thing with me is to be honest with myself and be honest with them and, you know, and tell them, you know,

this is what I feel comfortable doing and being able to, you know, stick with that. You can spin it a little bit hey you can spin it and you're an incredible basketball player from what i've heard i've never seen you play i heard you're great you should probably watch best on the team oh by far you're better than ty hey i won't even answer that question wow does ty know that you feel this way i said that answer on camera. Wow! Does T.Y. know that you feel this way? I said that answer on camera, so he'll see it. So he'll vouch for me. Hey, he's a hooper now. He's got a good jumper. He's okay.

But you're an athlete. You can spin it. What are your, I don't want to say your upside whenever you play, but what should Colts fans look forward to watching Jacoby Brissett do? Well, I want to get the scouting report because other people probably that aren't Colts fans are probably watching to go on. Okay, so the kid can run, all right. Do everything that I, yeah.

But, you know, just a player that's going to play hard, you know, leave it all out on the field, hopefully smart. But just like I said, a guy that's just going to play hard, you know, and not try and be anything else, you know, like everybody's kind of saying, like, what are you going to do to fill in for Andrew? I can't fill in for Andrew. I can just, you know, step in as Jacoby, you know, and that's just my mindset.

A couple years ago, whenever you came in a week before the season, I watched you, and it was interesting because I was watching from home, and I knew a lot of people on the team, right? I had just left. Watching you call the entire team up on the sideline during a game and kind of like give a rally the troops type speech was something that I was watching I was like damn I like that like I was a big fan of watching it happen Andrew kind of shied away from that in the public eye private I think he did it but I enjoyed

watching you kind of take command of the team like that since then everybody's talked about how the locker room loves you what is your leadership style are you a guy that's not afraid to speak up a little bit are you a do as I say and as I do type guy what is your I'm kind of you know how would I describe my leadership it's more soldiers know, I kind of just feel people out, you know, I'm about like getting to know people in relationships and, you know, understanding like, uh, you know, we all have a, a, a bigger picture. Uh, so, you know, I kind of like, you know, you saw me last year kind of running into pictures and stuff like that. But with that comes like,

you know, when I'm in practice at times, you know, I'm going to get after it, you know? So it's a mixture of, you know, being hard and being, like, you know, the, like, follow this, follow this, but at other times, you know, just letting it happen, you know, organically. If you're friends with everybody on the team, then people are playing, like, I've always talked about chemistry

being the ultimate X factor in a locker room like I've always talked about chemistry being the ultimate X factor in a locker room. I've played on great teams. I've played on terrible teams. The teams that are great all liked each other. It seems as if the camaraderie in this locker room is very high, even though there's crazy circumstances right now. This team seems to really like each other. Am I accurate in reading that? Yeah, no question. And I think not more so alike, but we respect each other. We respect each other's, you know, goals. We respect each other's, you know, game and preparation that, you know, I won't let myself fall behind because I know that this person isn't. And I think that's what, you know, Frank has instilled in a lot of us, you know.

And we just carry that with us every day. There's an incredible gift right now there is an incredible gift floating around the internet there is a couple you sprinting to get into the photos I completely forgot about that too you mentioned it great athleticism by the way it's not easy to make it down there in time to get the photo yeah I heard my hamstring a couple times Jacoby Brissett is now on IR due to photo bombing no the the gif of your face talking to andrew luck on the sideline in that notorious third preseason game with the adam

schefter bomb happening in the third quarter was that the moment you can clear this up i'll clear it up was that the moment you were told by Andrew? No. Okay. But it was the moment that he told me the tweet went out. Okay, so it did have something to do with it. Yeah, it did have something to do with it. But my face showed my expression. Incredible.

Yeah, I don't know how they caught that, but. Oh, the internet is undefeated. The internet. They will find everything. They will find everything. So that was the moment that Andrew said to you, yeah, it's already been mentioned publicly. Everybody in this stadium knows right yeah i didn't even i guess it went out before he even told me but then i like went up to him he called me over and then i just heard people like in the background i'm like wait oh the tweet really dig them your face is one of the

greatest facial expressions i've ever seen in my life. Utter disbelief out of nowhere, just complete boom, and then you see you try to save the conversation. What a moment there, and I know you guys are past it. You have to be. The NFL is a season where you only get so many opportunities. If you were to dwell on the things that happened in the past, you'd never be successful in the future. But since that situation happened, which is massive,

is the reason why we're here, the reason why you're a starter. The only reason why you're talking to me. I would like to talk to you because of your tweets. I like your tweets. I'm a big fan of a guy that tweets. Yeah, there's a lot of shit going on. That's all right. But that situation with luck took over the world, literally took over the world. What was your initial thoughts whenever you heard it was going to happen when andrew ice room told you that he was going to retire before the world found out what were your initial thoughts on it and what is the thought of the team moving forward uh when he first talked when he first told me i couldn't believe it just because like i know how

much andrew love which you know how much andrew loves football you you know and he'll tell you how much football has like consumed his life and you know we probably talked for about an hour and a half that day and I just saw how happy he you know gradually became after like throughout the conversation after he told me his reasons and stuff and you know when I walked out I was

like at peace with him like making his decision especially as a teammate you know, when I walked out, I was, like, at peace with him, like, making his decision, especially as a teammate. You know, you kind of, you want your teammates to be able to feel like they can live with their decisions. That's on the field and off the field. And, you know, and I saw that in him. So after that, like, you know, I was still shocked for a couple days, but then, you know, I was happy for him. I talked to him, like, you know, we talked fairly regularly after that. And I, like, it just made me happy, like, to see him, like. I talked to him like, you know, we talked fairly regularly after that. And I like, it just made me happy like to see him like. I would assume you being happy for him, by the way, went a long way for him. Like when I was retiring, I, everybody knew I was retiring basically for a few months

leading up to it. But my big thing was I was scared that my teammates were going to be pissed off at me, right? I was scared that Vinatieri was going to be mad at me because I held his balls perfectly for eight years. Probably got to rephrase that a little bit, but I get what you're going with. I was scared that he was going to hate me, though. I was scared that people were going to feel like I let them down. I would assume luck felt that same way.

So you giving him at the end of that conversation, like, hey, man, we're happy for you. Probably went a long way for him. You're a good friend without even knowing it, I'd assume. Appreciate it. I mean, I try to be. You know, our friendship will probably last, not probably, will last, you know,

longer than both our football careers. So, you know, I'm just happy that he's at peace. Did you know that he hated you? At first, I kind of got the sense that he hated me. Just he came back, he was like, this fucking guy. Yeah, he's like, you like this fucking guy yeah he's like who the fuck's this guy like fuck you too man because he even mentioned it i mean that was a big moment for him that press conference all eyes were on him and he even talked about how

when i got back i was incredibly jealous of this guy i hated him and then your friendship grew through that did the wolf pack going into a potentially awkward situation becoming friends help you become friends with Andrew in that situation? Somewhat, but it's kind of my personality, you know. Like, I can't hate anybody, you know. So it just gradually, like, I used football and, you know, how we were doing on the field as a tool to, like, kind of get to know him off the field. And then, you know, before I know it, we're, like, just hanging out, talking. He's an interesting dude.

Yeah, that's to say the least. He is, and he doesn't care that he's an interesting dude. I've always said that Andrew Luck is an anomaly. He's the prototype of an NFL quarterback. Big, he's an avatar, he's got a great arm. But then you place this hipster nerd right inside of that body. And it's just like this incredible recipe of a guy who was so fun to be around and incredible to watch as a football player.

Your team now. Did you talk to the offense? Did Coach Reich have you do anything? Or is it just kind of day-to-day, here we go, business as usual? No, I mean, we talk as a team. You know, Frank talked and Ballard talked, which everybody saw. business as usual like as a team you know frank talk and ballard talk which everybody saw uh but uh you know not just me alone but other you know leaders stepped up and uh you know talked to the team uh because it was it wasn't you know like i went to traumatic is the wrong word but in a huge

a shocking event hell yeah uh and it a lot of players you know like i said a lot of players come here to play with luck a lot of players you know like I said a lot of players come here to play with Luck a lot of players you know respect him enough and have played with him a long time so they felt a certain

type of way not mad or anything but just shocked and you know not hurt because he did it but like hurt because they won't see him

and be around him for a while well forever but he's not dead he'll be around yeah exactly but

so it was just more so just kind of like clearing the air and i kind of felt like i had this you know what'd you say uh you don't have to do the whole thing yeah just the gist but you know the expectation doesn't change uh you know hold me to the same standard if not a higher standard uh and and just go to work every day you know and that's what they're gonna get out of me. Tom Brady didn't get in until Bledsoe got hurt, right? Tom Brady comes in.

This dude who didn't even play at Michigan. Nobody knows who he is. Voila, greatest quarterback of all time. Everybody has to have an opportunity open up for them. That's what has to happen. That's the way the NFL is. You're getting that opportunity now. Has there been a moment where you're like looking in the mirror?

Holy shit, here we go. Now we go. Has there been any of those? It actually was, you know, the next day I drove and I was coming to work and, you know, I sat in my car for like 10, 15 minutes and I was like, shit, like when I walk through these doors, I guess it's official, you know? Yeah. But I'll probably say that day is the next day.

I'm so happy for you, man. Appreciate it, man. Have you learned any answers to your deep internet thoughts that you've tweeted out there? Some answers. More questions. More questions. You asked, if the sun is hot, why is space cold? Yeah.

An age-old internet question. Have you learned the answer uh nasa gave me some like nasa reached out to you yeah they they like tweeted me back some some answer that led me to other questions what i've been taught is it's like bluetooth okay so the sun's hot and it bluetooths the heat just to earth to our atmosphere yeah but just to earth yeah earth is the speaker okay the sun is the phone bluetoothing the heat to earth but what about everything else yeah i got a lot of questions too jacoby you see where i'm going i see where you're going trying to go to space actually are you going to go to space not a chance if you weren't a professional football

player what would you be? I would try to be a basketball player. You were that nice, huh? No, I wouldn't say I was that nice, but I said I was trying. What are you looking forward to most? The process, the whole thing? Yeah, just the whole thing, man. When I think, like, people are like, what game are you, like, most excited for?

First one. I think I'm more excited for practice, like, than the game. like most excited for first one i think i'm more excited for practice like in the game like you know just practicing it's just i get more nervous for practicing i do for a game how come uh i don't know why i just put so much emphasis on getting better yeah if you don't get better you get worse everybody says it so if you waste a day out there yeah then i feel like i kind of let myself down let the team down what type of music you listen to i listen i actually saw somebody tweeted about i hate when everybody says they listen to everything but have you listened to like this genre but i kind of listen to a majority of everything me too by the way i don't think

there's anything wrong with that i mean there's some shit i won't listen to yeah no question we all won't listen to like There's some bad stuff Yeah dumb shit Yeah we don't need that by the way Whenever we say everything We obviously don't mean the terrible music that is out there When I say everything I mean everything that I like You like Avicii?

See I don't listen to that shit It's unbelievable His new album Tim Great Never heard of it You should listen to it I think it's good What genre of music?

Avicii House music Like play it in your house Or just No, no Like What do you listen to before the game? Any pregame rituals?

Music wise Not really I mean I listen to Whatever just comes on Come on What do you do? Just shuffle on your old phone? Yeah, I probably just shuffle my phone.

I just got good music on my phone. That's it. None of that bad shit. None of that bad shit. You're going to add Avicii in there, though, after this conversation. I probably won't. I won't lie to you and say I will. You will?

I won't. I'm going to get it in your locker somehow. I'm going to make sure you hear it. The album, Tim, is incredible. T.Y. Hilton is a noted all-pro in this league. Incredible. Underrated all-pro. Most underrated wide receiver in the league.

Yeah. That is not even a doubt. He's quiet publicly. We know the difference. We know the difference. Publicly, he's quiet. Have you and him, because obviously he was tight. Every quarterback is normally pretty tight with their number one wide receiver.

And whenever it turns the opposite direction, it can get ugly, although T.Y. doesn't have that personality. It is a relationship that you have to build. How are you and T.Y.? Good. You know, like I had the 2017 stint with T.Y. So it was like I wasn't like a new guy when Andrew retired. So we've had a relationship that's been growing for, you know, three years, so to say.

So, you know, we kind of are past the like, like, yeah, like, yeah, the awkward stage, you know. So but, you know, we had probably a couple of good conversations after they were talking. Because obviously I knew I guess one of his best friends, you know, he's been with him for eight years, came in the same draft class. So, you know, we had a bunch of good conversations. And then, you know, you know T.Y. Like, he's the guy. I'm playing football now, you know, so it's like. I love T.Y., man.

Yeah, exactly. I think he deserves a lot more credit than he gets. No question. Hoyer just got signed. Yeah. Good deal for Hoyer, too, by the way. I mean, I never talk about other people's money, but hey. Good deal for Hoyer. Good deal for Hoyer. by the way I mean I never talk about other people's money but hey good deal for Hoyer

did you hear how happy he was right there for Hoyer and his money good guy oh look how happy he was good teammate did you hear him even say a lot of money for him nine million good car a lot of money for him he signed his name and $20 million. The same day he just said that. He signed his name and got $20 million. The first thing he should buy with that $20 million? Yeah. The first thing a Hoyer should buy with that $9 million he's getting? A Lisa mattress.

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And also thanks to them for sending me a mattress to sleep on here because fall is going to be insane. Speaking of an insane fall, QB1. Let's get back to it. You and Hoyer know each other well. QB room is a big deal for a quarterback. No question. You and Hoyer know each other well? YeahB room is a big deal for a quarterback. No question. You and Hoyer know each other well? Yeah. You like him?

Yeah, I like him a lot. He's a good dude. Yeah, because you're all part of that Wolfpack there. I wouldn't just throw him into the Wolfpack, but he's in the clan. He's in the crew. Hey, the Wolfpack's tough to get into. Yeah, you've got to be serious about that type of stuff. You can't just let anybody in

just because they've been in the same room. have 100% passing rating on thanksgiving i think maybe i get a shot at the wolf back one day i saw your i saw your picture uh of trying to be qb2 see that probably working on a little bit of mechanical things but ball behind the ear yeah but hip square to target i couldn't see where the target was it was right in front of me your mechanics were bad on that picture but I saw your pass at swoop that was nice

I give you respect on that in the picture you can't see it, it was a 75 yard ball so what just like on air? no no it was full defense I had to read the safety and everything probably why somebody was standing directly right behind you well i mean you got to protect the

goods you know what i mean you need a red jersey how's your sliding you're pretty good slider no probably gotta work on that now or just run out of bounds or yeah because this is a big deal and i think this is something andrew had to learn that whenever he was young not that you're young but i'm just saying i'm young for and you are young but Andrew he thought it made him tougher whenever he wouldn't slide or he would take a big shot and Vinatieri OG was like hey man a lot smarter if you're just good a lot better for everybody if you're just a healthy guy has Vinatieri have you got a chance to talk to Vinny at all uh you like Vinny have I had a chance you know I work with him obviously I talk to him well at all? You like Vinny. Have I had a chance? You know, I work with him.

Obviously, I talk to him. Well, I'm happy you talked to the kicker, by the way. Are you talking about, like, my sliding technique? No, just in general. Oh, yeah, we talked a couple times since then. But, yeah. Because I believe, just like everybody else believes, this team is a good team. And I think you're going to absolutely crush.

And just like I said with Tom, just like with everybody else, when one door closes, what happens, Jacoby? Another one opens. I think now the Jacoby Brissett door is open and I think it's going to be a joyful time. I'm excited to watch you. Thank you. I'm going to get you a jersey in my studio.

All right, nice. Will you sign it? Do I have to pay for it? No, no, it's going to be one of the fake ones. Oh, all right, perfect, man. Good. NFLPA, give me some of that. Now we're talking. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be one of the fake ones. Oh, all right, perfect, man. Good. NFLPA, give me some of that.

Now we're talking. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to watch you play. Thank you. I'm excited. I feel like we've answered a lot of questions today. We answered a bunch. Anything we didn't clear up? Since I haven't tweeted in a while, I've got a question for you.

Yeah. If you can classify something as nothing, it's nothing something. That's something. Ladies and gentlemen, the starting quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts. The man who's a dear friend of Bill Parcells. Third round draft pick to the dynasty of the New England Patriots. There's no blueprint for the situation you're currently in right now. None. I looked for it. Didn't find it.

How am I supposed to handle a once-in-a-generation quarterback retiring two weeks before the season and me becoming a starter? I think the world would be excited to watch how you handle it. You're blazing a trail right now, man. Appreciate it. You're going to do great. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Jacoby Persett. I'd clap for you, too.

You gave a great interview. I'm clapping for you. I'd clap for you, too. You gave a great interview. I'm clapping for you. I'm clapping for you. For your jean shorts. Good shorts, dude. Do you have good swagger travel? Conti. Do you dress well?

Conti comes to me for advice. Yeah. Well, Conti's got 45 kids at this point, isn't he? Well, I have two, but it feels like two. You just said you need your suits, so. Yeah. Are you a suit need your suits, so. Yeah. Are you a suit guy? Suit?

Sometimes. I'm not really, like, a button-up, like, that type. Yeah. I like T-shirts. I wear a blazer if I'm trying to, like, look a little cute. Did you say cute? I said look. We'll work on the phrasing.

I wore this strictly because you're a starting quarterback, so I had to show a little respect, you know? I thought you were trying to show me up with a muscle. By the way, I'm on all types of shit. You'll be able to get on this when you retire. It's feeling pretty good, man. I don't think it's working that well. Just started.

Today? Two days ago. All right. Check me in a month, bro. I got you. I'm going to show up on the sideline of a game, and you're going to see Brock Lesnar standing on the sideline. Hopefully they spell your name right this time.

You saw that. Yeah. That was tough, wasn't it? First time. I've got my name spelled wrong a lot of times, so it's all right. Everybody's saying Brisket. Brisket. Brisset.

I don't like it. Yeah. It is what it is. QB1. That's all they need to know that's it jacoby thank you man shout out to jacoby he's a rich man moments after speaking to me there he signed a contract and when he put his name down on that piece of paper he was handed 20 million american dollars that's a fact whoa he didn't say a single thing about it there even when we talked about the hoyer contract he concurred

great money for hoyer great contract good for hoyer three years 12 million nine million guaranteed we're all happy for hoyer all happy He said he wasn't in the Wolfpack. He said he wasn't officially in the Wolfpack. Hoyer wasn't officially in the Wolfpack. Just because you're in the room that the Wolfpack was once in, you're not in the Wolfpack. Said Hoyer wasn't in there. Hoyer was a good guy.

Happy for Hoyer with his contract. He said it. He said it in there. Genuinely happy for him. Boom. An hour later, he signs for $30 fucking million. He could have given us a heads up. Could have. Couldnhuh but he kept his mouth shut and that's why he's gonna be a good quarterback for the indian athletes courts he was able to disguise that you know how excited he had to be

talking to me right there he had to be antsy even a match oh my god his agent probably texts him in the morning like hey heads up i think we're near 20 million guaranteed. Signing bonus, maybe 30 million. And he's responding in a text. Are you serious? Yep. Because Andrew Luck retired out of nowhere. You're signing your name for probably 20. We're going to try to get $25 million.

Oh, my God. Yeah, we're real close, Jacoby. Okay, I won't say anything until it's fun. All right, Jacoby, you must do a 25-minute sit-down interview with Pat. Think about what was going on in the back of Jacoby Brissett's head Their entire time talking Just celebrating the entire time Oh my god

It never even occurred to me that they would want to do that Because they had no obligation to do so I just assume you always just try to save money Well they may be actually saving money Say he fucking balls out this year They had to do this to do this You know what's a great app That was a rough abrupt say he fucking balls out this year. They had to do this to do this. To lock him down. You know what's a great app?

That was a rough, abrupt entrance into the conversation. I interrupt this conversation now to tell you about a great app for football season. Oh, yeah? The Action Network app. You ever heard of it? Oh, I have heard of it. I love it. Not only can you track bets that you put in wherever you like, and there's green dots, there's red dots that tell you how your bets are doing.

Because the thing is, when you start placing these bets, and people are going to learn this. So many. Now that sports gambling is becoming much more prevalent, what you're going to learn is, what I learned is, you're going to place bets, and you're going to forget exactly what the is oh yeah and that's where the action network really comes in handy i used to write them down in a little black book i didn't have girls phone numbers i just had my bets in it that a boy real italian and now i just i just open up an action network app and it tells me

how all my bets are doing not only does it have that it has tons and tons of information and articles on who to bet, where the line's going, where the money's at, where the Sharks are at, over-unders, everything. Because with the Sharks, you got to know where the Sharks are. Because if not, you'll get bit. Ride that shark wave. And now, they have all new brand new pick'em contests.

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A lot of intel. A lot of good intel. I actually read it going into games that I analyze on ESPN because of all the good intel. I like to know where the money's at. Who's doing what? What should I expect in this game? Should I really look into the quarterback? Is this going to be a high score or is it going to be ground and pound?

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Actionnetwork.com Getaction.app slash pat yikes back to the show I texted Chris Ballard after the announcement of the signing game

because we talked before the interview that it's going to be interesting that Hoyer is making more money than Jacoby and Jacoby's supposed to be the guy

that's a weird thing although money is not talked about in the locker room that's why whenever abram was talking about derrick carr's money it was kind of awkward you don't really talk about other guys money it's not the way you handle business sure but whenever you know the guy behind you that was just signed is making more money than you and you've been handed this you're not handed yeah i mean it was a situation he's been gifted here that's not normal it's kind of an interesting thing although i think jacoby i mean what do we know of him i mean he knew he kept that secret from me the entire conversation but i think jacoby the way he is he would have handled it professionally because he's just a

cool dude but still it's a little weird so boom they sign him for this money after the hoyer thing smart move by ballard just to let everybody know this is our guy this is the guy so i texted him congrats incredible bounce back from a wild situation, which it is. Now they have Jacoby Brissett and Hoyer in the QB room. That's a great QB room all of a sudden. And if Jacoby can show up and show out, which I think he might be able to do this opportunity, I mean, all of a sudden, this is a bargain,

this deal that they just got. He responds with, now we have to go win. Take care of Jacoby. Let's the team know that he is the guy. It's really not that hard, Pat. Take care of the players, and they will play their ass off. That's what Chris Bowers said. He gets it.

He does get it. Because just what you said there, they could have sat on this for another year, maybe even a couple weeks. Like, hey, we'll let him play for eight weeks here, see if he's worth shit, and then we'll offer him an extension. But instead, Bowers said, hey, you've done enough here with us the last couple years.

You came in in a bad situation a couple years ago when Andrew Luck set out an entire year. Same sort of scenario where everybody thought Luck was going to play. He didn't play. You're kind of thrown in there. You did well. You've been a great teammate the last couple years. Now, hey, now we go.

They've done everything to put him in a spot to succeed. Now we go. I love it. I mean, it does immediately say, hey, everything to put him in a spot to succeed. Now we go. I love it. I mean, it does immediately say, hey, we think of him as a starter quarterback in the NFL. Yep. So we're going to pay him a quarter. And they've got the money to spend. They still have something over like $100 million in cap space.

Okay. So since Luck didn't return the money, do they still get to use that? Plus, it's good for the team and the player because it's only two years. So if it doesn't work out. And if he balls, there's another $100 million covered. Correct. In two years for him. Yeah the player because it's only two years. So if it doesn't work out, you move on. There's another $100 million covered. Correct, in two years for him. Yeah, I like it a lot.

This Andrew Luck situation, we obviously weren't doing the show. We took a couple weeks off, need to build a studio. This Andrew Luck situation is one that is wild. And I've talked everywhere about it. I mean, Andrew Luck retiring was good business for us. I was on a lot of television. A lot of questions being asked because I was in a similar situation but nowhere really near similar situation he's walking away from like uh 60 million although he's getting it still yeah i walked away from six ish million

just one tenth of it i thought about it for like a year he thought about it for like two weeks you know what i mean so it's a very different situation but i think everybody including jacoby which he said in that interview, was everybody's happy that Andrew Luck's going to find his happiness, right? Because I think inside the locker room, we all see each other as humans.

You know? Everybody shits the same. Everybody sits down uncomfortably, utilizes whatever shitty toilet paper is next to them, and has to shit. Agreed. That's the most humble position

a human can be in. No matter what your profession is, everybody shits the same. And I think that is something in a locker room you feel so whenever that human feels happiness you can't help but be like you know what happy for that guy but i do think there was a lot of people that were not not happy about the timing of the whole thing i assume there's more people that weren't happy about the time anything than let out uh that's not from an insider information that's just if I was in a locker room I'd be like well goddamn man dude but I'd also have faith in Jacoby I am happy Andrew Luck's doing his thing but I think the Colts are in a good spot I really do and I think Jacoby's gonna take care of it with that being said the Houston Texans got much better at football this past weekend much better much

better at football hey hey the game of football the Houston Texans got much better at the game of football. The tackle that they got rid of gave up the most sacks in the NFL last year. The tackle that they got, apparently one of the best pass blockers in the NFL. Best lungs in the history of mankind. Haven't heard a single thing about him since that day where the infamous gas mask made an appearance, which is good for an offensive lineman, by the way.

He is a freak athlete, I'd assume. I mean, anybody can hit a gas mask and not cough. Yes. He didn't clear it, which I watched the tape back. Whenever he got traded, I watched the tape back. He did not clear the bong that was attached to the gas mask. So, I mean, I guess we can knock points for that. But still, the ability to live in a mask that is just circulating smoke

and knock off one time goes to your lung strength tenfold right sure yeah them getting better at tackle to protect deshaun watching what's i forget who mentioned earlier i think digs mentioned earlier bill o'brien saw andrew luck retire after seven years because he got his ass kicked early on in his career bill o'brien might have seen that and said hey deshaun watson has gotten his ass kicked we got to do something bang give me the gas mask guy what else do we want ah we get another wide receiver too to go opposite nuke a guy that you know miami was a little up in the air about to play eight straight jay-z songs in of him, but we can take him, and then we'll send back how many? First round or second round?

Who gives a fuck? I'm probably not going to be here if we lose this year anyways. We'll give away every pick from next year if we have to. I think the Houston Texans got better at football, even though they got rid of Clowney, but you don't need Clowney if you don't have a QB1 in there that can potentially make plays like Andrew Luck. Now granted, will Nick Foles get hot? Possibly. Is Marietta going to break out this year? Maybe. Is Jacoby Brissett the next Andrew Luck? Possibly. But Bill O'Brien was like, fuck it. Don't need

Clowney. We got JJ Watt. Let's get us a left tackle. It's a very interesting division. It is, isn't it? Because like Jacksonville two years ago was 11 and 5 jackson for jaguars with blake portals as their quarterback jackson for jaguars cut matt overton though let's remember that yeah it's gonna hurt that's it's a shame it is a shame can't just cut matt overton expect to have a winning football team matt overton long stumper for the colts a long time went down jacksonville offered to buy a bunch of tickets for Riley Children's Hospital for the people that are upset about Andrew Luck retiring. Just got fired.

Don't know how he's going to pay for the tickets now. But Matt Overton, Matt Overton, I liked Matt Overton being on the Jaguars. I liked him still having a job. I hope he continues to do so. But you don't cut Matt Overton and still win games. I know. It's like they're not taking this season seriously.

Todd and I are super high on Fournette. He went away somewhere in like South Dakota, North Dakota, somewhere. Stayed in a hotel for four months. Lost 20 pounds. Rededicated himself. Did a friend cleansing where he got rid of all the friends. Is this serious? Yes.

Oh, he's going to fucking dominate. That's what I'm saying. I didn't know this was real. He went into the woods like Kanye. Now, Kanye came out with a shit uses. So hopefully Fournette comes out the other way. was real yeah he went into the woods like kanye now kanye came out with that shit uses so hopefully the other way our whole building just sounds like something just blow up that was someone's base that's how hey hey somebody's got some boom booms in the trunk i don't know if people still put boom

booms in the trunk i like fornette they're disappearing going into the woods he deleted friends in real life not just on facebook yeah i like that it's a good step right foals i mean we've seen foals big dick nick is big play nick big time nick as well if he can get hot tom coughlin's running the show over there let's assume he got good bodies in there the jaguars could be very good and nobody's talking about no one nobody's talking about the jaguar everybody's talking about the texans now strictly because of these trades oh the texans lost the trade. The Texans did this.

Oh, they're going to win this. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Which is all possibly true. All of it. I think the Jaguars scare me as much as anybody. The Jacksonville Jaguars. Because their defense is at such an elite level. It can be, yeah.

That just fits Nick Foles, too. Nick Foles, nobody talking about him. Nobody. He likes to be there, right? Hey, real quick, though. That's where he lives. Real quick, though. Their mascot, too. Legit. Pretty's where he lives. Real quick, though. Their mascot, too? Legit.

Pretty good? Jaguar's mascot is the truth. Dude, one bungee jumping off the top of the stadium every single game we played there. It's pretty serious. Like a countdown. Like, oh, the kickoff is 10, 9, 8. And all of a sudden, they're like, what's... Everybody look up in the sky!

I think his name is Jax. I'd assume. I don't know if that's accurate. Look at Jax. And you look up there and this son of a bitch is standing on top of the stadium like this, like up in the nose above the nosebleeds. He's standing above the nosebleeds. And all of a sudden he just like fucking free fall jump like a spin.

And then he's just bungee jumping all the way through the stadium. And then they drop him all the way down to midfield and he has like the ball that's awesome that's before every game they got the pools going they got the whole thing the con boys yeah i didn't know that jacksonville is ready to erupt like that that place is ready to explode from the mascot being electric to the pool parties happening during the game to mr khan having that yacht with a yoga mat inside of it that place is ready to blow up i like jacksonville i like duval they they sent us a shirt last year yeah they did i like that team i still like the colts a lot

yeah i do too i think we're fine nobody's talking about jacksonville i like the texans in i people are saying houston texans lost that trade, by the way. Wrong. Oh, they gave up so much. Okay, what if that pick is some fuck anybody? Trent Richardson. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think draft picks nowadays are even more of a question.

They are. I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a cheeseburger today. Amen, Diggs. The other thing with that, too, is Tunsell's going to need paid, right? So you bring in a left tackle, which everyone in the league is looking for, a premier left tackle. You ship out Clowney because you already have one of the best pass rushers in the league. You didn't want to pay Clowney.

You're going to take that money that you could have given to Clowney. You're going to give it to the left tackle. Very true. Well, and also, the Dolphins got rid of left tackle because they got a lefty coming. Yeah. Tua is a lefty. Don't it to the left tackle. Very true. Well, and also, the Dolphins got rid of the left tackle because they got a lefty coming. Yeah. Tua is a lefty. Don't need a stud left tackle.

Just need the right tackle. Great point. You know what I mean? You just need a right tackle back there. Because Lawrence Thomas is coming off the right side. If, oh, what's-his-face is a lefty instead of righty. Fleisman? Yeah.

That's when the left tackle became the position, right? Whenever what's-his-face? Fleisman, yeah. Lawrence what's-his tackle became the position, right? Whenever, what's his face? Fleisman, yeah. Lawrence, what's his face? Lawrence Taylor. Yeah, that one. Who's Lawrence Thomas? Is that a human?

I think he's a judge or something. Was he the judge? Who was the Thomas who played for the Bills? The linebacker. Bruce. Thurman? Bruce.

He fucking, Nick just, Bruce Smith. Nick tried to slander this. Thurman Thomas, thank you. Hey, hold on though. Yeah, I was fucked up. Nick tried to slander. What do you mean I tried to slander this dude Hey hold on though Nick tried to slander What do you mean I tried to slander

This video from 4,000 years ago We just watched the Chappelle special Where he talks about Great by the way Great Great special

It's like he went into my brain and pulled everything out Hey Sam and I watched Did you just take credit for Dave Chappelle Yeah Dave Chappelle Dave Chappelle went right into Diggs' brain and did probably the most brilliant hour on set in history.

But yeah, that's what comedians do, by the way, Diggs. That's what comedians do. I wouldn't know. Sam and I watched the Chappelle special this weekend. You guys watched it last week. I'll tell you what, man. I don't want to do stand-up anymore. I know.

That's why I told Nick. I'm like, I'm going to feel bad about myself. And this is like, sometimes it happens when something's really good. This one just destroyed me. I'm not going to do stand-up. I laughed so hard, I literally almost shit myself. I farted real loud. And I was like, I probably...

Dude, I am not going to do stand-up anymore. I decided I'm retiring from stand-up. I can guarantee real loud. And I laughed. And I was like, I probably. Dude, I am not going to do stand-up anymore. I decided I'm retiring from stand-up. I can guarantee you this. I could never do that. I'm sorry, Iowa, Detroit. And Minnesota. And Minnesota. I was supposed to reschedule, which we were planning on doing

with our upcoming fall schedule. Mondays, I'm in New York for get-up. Then Thursday night football is somewhere and then the zone show is every day i was gonna have a busy schedule but we're gonna fit in on tuesday nights which is the only open night really i have those three shows i'm never getting on a stage again i'm so sorry yeah did chapelle did that to me demoralize me oh my god i this is the best i to take a good 10 years to write something good.

I got to take 10 years of writing to put something together that is even worth a fuck after that. There's people that hated that. Oh, those are the people that hate everything. Yeah, but they're jokes. They're like, hey, these are jokes.

I think we're getting back to a stage, by the way, where people can joke. I think we are. Yeah, it's going to be getting better. We're kind of going through a cycle where everybody kind of hated everything and then now we're kind of getting back to it which i'm

kind of happy about right there are some things in there that are probably very offensive to a lot of people but it's dave chappelle like that's what dave chappelle is it's not a political debate yeah it's not meant to be serious could be though by the way by the way if dave chappelle went into a political debate i'm betting everything i got that he's winning. Made a lot of good points. And just like he said, you clicked on my face. You wanted to watch this. You clicked on my face. He was so adamant about that.

That's just what's trendy now, though. Just anytime something, even if it's not that great, if there's an opposition that really likes it, there's always going to be the people that just come out and just bury it for no reason. Well, you make a lot of money doing that i think these days a lot of the uh antagonist is a vital role in the society that we live in now because without it there's no conversation right so i understand that but boy some people say some dumb shit that's gonna be that's what's gonna be hard for me with the zspn thing with get up yeah this is gonna be hard just to not

look somebody right in your face and be like, you don't mean that. I think I might do that. I think it would fucking crush you if you did. Please do it. You don't really fucking mean it. Oh, are you the antagonist on this segment? You're the guy hired to say dumb things. Because I knew there's no way you can really feel that way. There's no way you feel that way.

There's no way you feel that way. Let's go through this. You were born where raised where did what and you believe that no way there's no chance that's gonna be tough but um chappelle had a joke about how basically people are looking for anything to bury people nowadays he said it's celebrity hunting season even if it it's 20 years ago. Bruce Smith did a TV interview probably 40 years ago, if I had to guess. I don't know the exact date, but it seemed as if it was potentially 60 years ago. Nick found it on the internet this morning and put it out there.

And it was Bruce Smith blackout drunk on television where he falls asleep mid-interview. And Nick, you didn't feel bad at all about it. He's lived a long, successful life. I mean, things happen in that time, and it's going to get brought back up. I didn't put it out there to start. You already had 100 retweets when I found it, so it was out there.

It did not. When you sent it to our group, it had like 34 retweets or something. It was out there. Yeah, but 34 and 100 retweets, a lot different animal there. But I'm just worried about Bruce Smith having to come out and apologize for being blacked out on TV. I'm sorry.

He already did. He already said he blamed it on the lights. He said the lights were too bright. Oh, yeah, that can't happen. You can get intoxicated by the lights. They said he had the flu. He was a little dehydrated. The lights were too hot.

There's a lot of things. You said he was drunk, though, I believe. That's what the original tweet said, so went with it anyways bruce smith it seems like he would own that though i mean he was a bad motherfucker he got paid by the redskins didn't he when he left the bills and didn't do much i'm not sure i don't know the bruce smith story all i know is he didn't deserve what nick did um andrew luck retired yes which is why we talked to jacoby i've i've stated how i felt on Didn't deserve what Nick did. Andrew Luck retired. Yes. Which is why we talked to Jacoby. I've stated how I felt on every other show except for this one.

100th episode, have to talk about it. Andrew Luck retired out of nowhere. Happy for him. Oh, yeah. That's it. That's all I got. It's touching. Thank you.

You're welcome. Sure. Sure. You're not happy for him. No, I mean, yeah, sure. Whatever. I don. It's touching. Thank you. You're welcome. I feel like I... Sure, sure. You're not happy for him? No, I mean, yeah, sure, whatever. I don't give a fuck. Wow. Wow, thanks.

No, I mean, about that part. Yeah, but it sure sounds like you're not happy that the guy found his potential happiness. Honestly, you should be happy for a guy finding his happiness. The internet told you you should be happy. How sick are you? Whether Drew is happy or not doesn't affect my life at all. But for the Colts fans, I feel like could have probably done it a few months earlier.

I agree, and I don't think he knew his ankle injury was going to be as bad. A lot of talk was about the Colts fans booing him, and Colts fans were getting booed, or not booed, but ruined by everybody. Talking about how disgusting. It was a bad look. The shot. Indianapolis got a bad shot. People were like, Indianapolis, second-rate hick city.

It's like, yo, chill the fuck out. Hey, this is a very clean city. Very small. There are farms everywhere. I mean, let's not get mistaken here. Good, honest people. I mean, it's a nice city. Hoosier Hospitality Place is a good place.

I mean, we had a couple methadone clinics, but for the most part. We got our drugs here and there. People do what they need to do. But Indianapolis is getting buried because probably

300 people booed that were drunk at a game at the end of a preseason game. Everybody's burying them and they should boo. It was a regrettable decision.

You shouldn't boo a guy especially who's been through as much as Andrew has been through for the city. Shouldn't boo him. Regrettable. Bad decision. Bad look.

Let's not fucking bury an entire city because there's a couple drunk people at a preseason game who stayed for all four quarters. Yeah, exactly. Who stays for all four quarters? Those are the diehards. Diehards. If this was to happen in any other city, I couldn't even fathom it. Yep. Beers, beers fly. Oh my God. If Ben did

this in Pittsburgh, especially what happened two years ago with Andrew and they said he was coming back, said he was coming back, said he was coming back. Jacoby played. He didn't come back ever. Then he sat out, went to another country, the whole thing. And then last year he did very good again. And everybody's like, all right, our team is back. Our team's back. And then two weeks before the season,

same thing happens again where they're being told he's coming back. He's coming back. If Ben Roethlisberger would have done this himself, he would have been burnt to the ground. Dead. And you got people on Twitter just pandering like, oh, classless. Classless. It's something we've never seen before. 2019, some guy

tweeted out that a guy on the sidelines had retired. Not a guy. A once in a generation quarterback is just, hey, by the way, done. And there's nothing like, I understand that 300 people or whatever just were so in shock because of the timing. Hey, not a loud stadium, by the way. Impressive that it made it.

It's a lot as it's been in a while. But Andrew Luck, he tried to control the narrative. He was going to schedule a press conference on that, but he's like you said, in this day, I mean, Schefter's got little snitches everywhere. There's nothing you can compare it to. It's never happened before. By the way, there's nothing Schefter can do. He has to do it.

Biggest story in the NFL. A lot of people wanted to bash Schefter, which I can get it because he was the messenger. So you would be mad at him. Schefter makes it... God bless your soul, Diggs. Diggs is in a bad spot. Diggs has potentially the AIDS. Hopefully.

Schefter gets the biggest story in the NFL. Sitting there with it. Well, what do we do? What am I supposed to do? Watching the game. Probably had it for, what, a half? He probably got it in the first quarter or something like that. I think he probably got it first quarter.

You think he sat on it? I think he sat on it i think he's because he had to because you have to in his particular profession that you have to yeah you get information then you have to pick it apart and find out if it's real or not so i think he sat on it for a little bit and then when that third quarter happened he was like yep fuck it gotta go yeah hey we gotta go right now somebody else might get this who isn't Ian Rappaport or Florio or any of these people have to get it. I have to let it out.

So there's nothing Sheffield can do. But just like Jacoby said, whenever he learned that the tweet was out on the sideline from Andrew, that face he made,

like what a wild scene. So you expect a couple drunk Indiana Hoosiers out there. Right. Live and die with the horseshoe. Couldn't get tickets. Couldn't get tickets to a real game. Bosiers out there. Right. Live and die with the horseshoe. Couldn't get tickets.

Couldn't get tickets to a real game. Bought these ones outside. Brought the whole family. Oh, we got $45 Bud Lights in here. I'm going to have 10 of them. And the natural reaction was to lose their mind. But if that was to happen in any other city, any other city, even Green Bay, I think.

Yeah, for sure. Anywhere. Like the most wholesome city. I think there would be quite a reaction. That's one of my least favorite things in the world is taking a section of fans and be like, oh, this fan base is so classless. Yeah, like the Eagles fans. We know they're classless.

Oh, my God. I'm joking. We were at the bar. We threw batteries at Santa. A couple of us were at the bar, and we obviously got the news first because we're always on our phones and stuff like that. And I started looking around the bar, like, expecting, like, drinks and shit to be flying.

And, like, no one knew yet. So I took it upon myself to walk around the bar. And I walked up to a couple of Colts fans who, like, were happy and smiling and shit like that. Luck jerseys on. Yep. Oh, yeah. Just spent $250 on this.

And I walked up. I said, you don't know, do you? And they were like, know what? And I up and I said, you don't know, do you? They were like, know what? I was like, oh, you don't know. I just showed them the news on the phone and their head just sunk into their chest. What a glorifying feeling that was. You're a terrible guy.

That's the word. Get on a PA at this bar right now and shout it down. I wanted to get on top of the bar, grab the fucking house, Mike, and just let everyone know. Why? Attention, Indianapolis. Attention.

Just to see. That guy that got drafted with the number one overall pick that you guys sucked for the year before, you cut Peyton Manning for, the guy you guys paid $140 million to didn't play a couple years ago you guys were told he was gonna play and then last year he played that guy you know I'm talking about neckbeard oh god forever and then just drop the mic and walk out watch the whole place just burn I thought you have to got I thought somebody broke into his account yeah I guy I thought Schefter got I thought somebody

Broke into his account Yeah I did I thought somebody Hacked into his account I honestly thought Somebody was trolling Because that's something

That you would do Yeah If you got into Schefter's account By the way Jack Dorsey got hacked Yeah That's

Anybody can get it You know what I mean He's the CEO Of Twitter Fucking Twitter Yes And he gets hacked

Yeah And you know what I've decided when I'm changing my password, I don't need you judging me on if my password's strong or weak or not. Because the people that are telling me if it's strong or weak

just got their fucking shit hacked. Maybe what you think is weak is actually strong. Yeah, maybe your password's weak. Hey, maybe pat1234 is a strong one. I would say Jax is probably Twitter one. Yeah. No, I bet you his is one of those like X4, N, S, J,

impossible to remember ones where you're only banking on your phone to remember, and if your phone gets hacked, you're done for anyways. How is that the suggested one? It's terrible. You show up like, would you like to create your own password, or do you want an old Mr. iPhone to create one for you? That what they ask you and i'm always like i'll create my own get the fuck out of here and then i tweeted it i fill it in they're like weak weak i can't even remember that how is that weak oh you need like 16 different capitalized letters

it's like get the fuck the facial recognition thing is all i use now and it's either that or i have my own. I have like five passwords right now bouncing around different places. And I change them monthly. I used to be a stick with it until the wheels fall off guy. And I used to have to think back to whatever age I was whenever I created said account. In what era of password was I in?

Okay, so I created this win. My rookie year. Probably car bomb six what was that was a big car bomb yeah i think i was doing a lot of car bombs all right let's start but now i changed them so rapidly and i don't think it matters i think if they want to hack you they're gonna hack you that's what i don't think learning the password is there i think they can get around the password yeah fuck your two-step verification too i'm not getting the code texted to me every time i try to log into my laptop yeah i'm sure jack

had the three-step verification hey jack your shit's on right now i'm meeting with another dumbass let's recommend the passwords they just get them off the back of routers they don't come up with those on their own that's what i'm saying and i don't i don't like the password matters it's not like hackers are just in there like all right let's guess right digs who's he like he's italian you think there's a hacker like sitting at home anthony to kill you check his facebook uh what photos yeah well he has the big beard okay big beard four that's not it yeah it's not like they're doing that i think they're just completely by i don't think the password matters at all,

except for to your friends, so your friends don't hack it. I think hackers are just getting in no matter what. It does not matter what you put in there. I agree. If they want you, they're going to get you. If they want it, it's like cancer. I think cancer, if it wants it, it's going to get it.

You hear those stories. That's my password, by the way. If you want it, you're going to get it. No, cancer. Because you hear stories about these 100-year-old people that smoke packed cigarettes a day. Yeah. It's like, well, how the fuck? I was told I smoked packed cigarettes.

I'm dying tomorrow. And there's people like, oh, I eat bacon every day of my life. It's like, well, I was told if I had a piece of bacon once a week, I'm going to have clogged arteries. I think everything's just bullshit. I do too. I think everything's bullshit. Absolutely. And it's probably not the right way to think.

You hear these marathon runners and stuff dropping dead at like 37. That's because we're running fucking 26 miles at a time. Dude, this celebrity health... Yeah, they shouldn't run that. It's so funny. This celebrity fitness coach or something like that, he has a commercial because he had a heart attack. that. This celebrity fitness coach or something like that,

he has a commercial because he had a heart attack. This celebrity healthy guy, he's like a celebrity healthy guy, had a heart attack, almost died. And his thing was like, hi, I'm a celebrity fitness coach, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they start playing that soft music that they play behind the nightmare medicine. When I had my heart attack the

only thing to help me i'm like if this fucking guy's having heart attacks this guy who's literally known for being in good shape this guy is known for being fit he's having a heart attack i got no shot i got absolutely no shot i might have a heart attack i might have cancer i might have everything and i honestly think i'll just roll the dice just like the hackers i think everything's just a roll of the dice you're either gonna get to get it or you're not. Hey, you're going to get got. You've got to get yours more than you get got, though. Bingo. Marshawn Lynch coming on the show Thursday.

By the way. What else happened? Anything big? Leshawn McCoy's going to the Chiefs. Chiefs about to win a Super Bowl all of a sudden. Now, granted, to do that, you've got to beat the Colts and the Patriots, so that kind of goes against everything I'm stating. But the Chiefs got better at football

because LeSean McCoy is an incredible football player. And him taking a $3 million salary, $4 million salary is very much fucking Ezekiel Elliott. But LeSean McCoy did get cut. Ezekiel Elliott never did. I think LeSean McCoy's got a lot left in the tank. I think with Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelsey, and all the weapons they have

patrick mahomes being able to do no look shit how's it going i like ketchup but the um i think that i think that opens up the box for leshawn mccoy and i think leshawn mccoy is about to have a massive year they're gonna dump him so many screens oh and the first three people are gonna miss so you got all these people covering all these electric athletes that they have going out okay i'm gonna drop into coverage here and then all of a sudden when a dump happens you have to break on the ball so these people have to leave their man and break on the ball leshawn mccoy has made a career off of people breaking on the ball and he's just whoop see you later i need to drop in a cup of vermin whoop ohop! Thursday night football.

I should do that, huh? A little homage to him. That was a pretty good one there. I didn't know if I had it or not. You did. It's got to go from the gut. If I do it from the throat, I'll lose it. You know what I mean? But I got to go, whoop! Oh, there it is. We found it, boys.

It's a good one. Chiefs are going to be very good though Happy for them Very happy for the Chiefs Good for Andy Reid All Andy Reid's got to do Is just have a little patience With a playbook We all know Andy Reid's season

Is the first like 11 weeks He did good last year He did do good last year Dee Ford Andy's not great at Just taking it easy on things Hey just you know what Maybe leave that cupcake there.

You know what? I'm allowed to say that. I'm fat. Okay. We don't accept you. I think it goes the other way. It was unbelievable. You just said that,

but we're talking about football here. Trying to have a professional conversation. Well, things in your professional life, they leak over from your personal life. What you do in the dark will come to the light see wow david thornton told me that he's director of player personnel for the indianapolis colts and i don't know why he singled me out when he said that you're right i didn't mean that though pat what you're doing dark oh now you're apologizing look at you you, Diggs. It's regret season. It's coughing season, by the way.

Keep your head on a swivel. Foxy got wifed up. Did you? Yeah, I did. Congrats, Foxy. I did. Thank you. Hey, you know, there was a time during the show,

shows 40 to 80-ish, maybe. Yeah, that sounds right. Where we wondered if Foxy was ever going to get out of the drought that he was in. Yeah, I remember that. You remember those days? Oh, you remember that? I do remember those days. I mean, a little couple-month drought, one-month drought probably,

turned into a six-month drought, which turned into a two-year drought, which turned into... Yeah, that's how droughts happen. I'm a virgin. No, I'm saying in your guys' head. This is what you guys did. Not in real life. Yeah, not in real life. I think your confidence just went up. That's all. It was just a matter of confidence.

Because the amount of times we talked about you potentially not having sex ever in your life, I think you built up a shield and you got more confidence. You got hardened by it. And then whammy, find the girl of your dreams. Here we are. Locked it down.

I'm not going to give you guys credit for this one. What are you talking about? I'm not going to give you guys credit for this one. Are you kidding me? What? I don't deserve any credit for this thing? If I didn't put it out into the universe that you were still a virgin at the age that you were, none of this happened. I disagree with that. She doesn't even know that was a thing.

Oh, she's not a fan of the show. No. Yikes. That's a good thing to thing. Oh, she's not a fan of the show. No. Yikes. That's a good thing to have. Oh, jeez. Dicks. Minds never listen. You don't feel like, though, your confidence level was raised by coming here and being

around Pat and traveling and getting the experience that you have. Oh, cool. And then us getting busted for balls. Big picture. No, Fox has definitely changed. We would break your butt. Oh, come on. I didn't say it was for the bad.

It was for the good. Because we would break your balls, and then you it was for the bad It was for the good Because we would break your balls And then you started breaking back You got good at it I mean that raises confidence Yeah look at it Let's look at this from a macro You deserve to talk shit when you got here

If we're going big picture of this whole thing Absolutely My confidence is a thousand percent grown And also I mean let's talk about it If it wasn't for this You don't even move to Indy Good point

I also have thought about that Very very valid point Todd I think you deserve Because Todd wanted to hire you the most the first day wow thank you todd appreciate that yeah like there's a lot of things i think nick was on your side i don't know about that that was me because i loved his wedding website nice i mean that was i didn't know how to make a website if you want to go big picture on the whole thing a lot has changed like i got a good haircut now. You guys made me grow a beard. You look 10 times better with a beard.

I dress better. That picture you posted the other day? Exactly. That guy's a seven. Foxy with a beard? Nine and a half. And that's a lot of people like, dude, the glow up is real. And I'm like, all it takes is a beard and a good haircut.

Just two things. So you're welcome. I think what we're trying to say is you're welcome. All right. Thank you, guys. Oh. We interrupt this conversation one more time for a reading by Zito. Thank you, Pat.

No problem, bud. Let me ask you something. Go on. How much time do you spend in front of your digital screens? All the time for me I know I spend hours of time looking at my screens I mean just what a blatant

disregard for anyone who's ever read anything this guy I mean just what a blatant disregard for anyone who's ever read anything this guy just spitting in the face between my phone work bringing new shows binging new shows video games

very close though one letter off there was a smudge scrolling right before bed that's why I started wearing One letter off. There was a smudge. I doubt it. Scrolling right before bed. That's why I started wearing MVMTs. I ever scroll blue light filtering glasses. They're built to protect your eyes from blue light.

That's known to cause eye strain, discomfort, and poor sleeping patterns. You know what? I thought about that. You're right. Yeah, me too. Well, you said it. Good point, Zeke. Here's some starters for you.

Oh, geez. He hasn't read it in a while. A couple weeks off. Yeah. Kid ain't read shit. He's rusty. I'm going to talk about the known potential benefits of wearing blue light glasses okay in whatever context feels most on brandon authentic for me so you'll you'll stumble through it

uh it promotes sounder sleep elevates mood moods lowers stress hormones. That's good. Improves focus and mental clarity. All these things are good. Oh, yeah. And it sharpens vision. Oh, Nick, you've been using this. I love these things. I really do. Not only do they look cool, they actually work.

My eyes feel better. Nick just popped off out of nowhere with these glasses. Didn't he? He did. All of a sudden, he was glasses guy. I'm like, you have bad eyes? No, great great eyes that's what you said even better now yeah exactly strengthen and you look cool that's most important it's smart they're good looking glasses that make your life better that is all you need to know zito please struggle through the rest of them

yep i'm gonna talk about the different styles of fashion frames we have. Can I please? They have. They don't look like the other computer glasses you see, Otter. That's true. They take MVMT's best-selling glasses frames and add blue light filtering lenses to them, so you don't have to sacrifice style for functionality. Big words. It's true. Oh, yeah.

Pick from round frames clear frames colored frames etc mvmt's selection is always expanding with new traditional and fashion forward styles to choose from you're damn right oh yeah hey bring it home i'm gonna expand on this average person spends almost seven hours a day in front of a screen it's troublesome when you think about it yeah it's a lot of time it's a lot of time mvmt's blue light glasses help us to change our habits so that we can keep up with a changing technological world okay hey some big words there's he uh there's something recommended here words there z there's something recommended here hey did they say etc or did they say etc they said etc but i guessed wow was that right you have no idea the forward good for you zito look at your brain thank you two week break uh ever scroll blue light

filtering glasses start at just 65 whether you're at the office scrolling through your phone or unwinding from a long day, Everscroll Glasses have you covered. Better focus, better sleep, better style. Amen. Amen. That was recommended. But I'm going to call some action here. Atta boy.

Bring it home, Z. Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash McAfee. I don't know if it's a forward or back. They just said slash, so I'm guessing it's a forward slash. It's a way out of boy. You're learning, yeah. Okay. Shop MVMT.

Ever scroll. Blue light filtering glasses. Protect your eyes and look great doing it. Go to MVMT.com forward slash McAfee. Join the movement. Thank you, guys. Hey, that was one of your better readings. Thank you. mvmt.com forward slash McAfee. Join the movement. Thank you, guys. Hey, that was one of your better readings.

Thank you. I improvised a lot there. I don't think that's accurate. It very much looked like you read every word from the page. Poorly. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Those are nice glasses, though. Nick looks good in them. They are awesome. I don't have them on right now. I wish I did. I forgot them. My issue with getting LASIK is I can't put nice glasses, though. Nick looks good in them. They are awesome. I don't have them on right now. I wish I did. I forgot them. My issue with getting LASIK is I can't put on glasses.

Yeah. Until now. Now I can put on cool glasses because it is saving my eyes from something. You spend a lot of time looking at a screen. A lot of time. There's no breaks for you. Even on the weekends, you're stuck watching football the whole time. A lot of time.

Eyes are just burning up. Need to put on glasses, make me look smarter, too. Maybe we'll spell my name right on it. Let's get back to it. Great reading by you, Zito. I'm proud of you, man. Hey, take a victory lap on that one, bub. All right.

Jalen Hurts looks like a real quarterback, by the way. I know a lot of people are saying that. But I just want to let you know, as an official college football analyst, I would like it to be known Jalen Hurts can play the football. He looked faster than I remember. He looked faster. He threw the ball better. He looked like the red shoes were a little bit brighter than everybody else's.

It's the only thing I kind of had a question mark about. Nick Saban taught him to be great. Lincoln Raleigh is going to teach him how to be dangerous. Somebody tweeted that to me, and I like it a lot. I think Jalen Hurts is a good football player all of a sudden. I didn't think he was good before. I thought he was Tim Tebow. Not Tim tebow wasn't a good football player i take back everything that kind of alluded to there what i meant was tim tebow was a special football player

he was a high effort guy motivator ran legs to arm right it was a legs to arm player tim tebow i thought jalen hurts was the same thing a little bit blocky he was a study-to-arm player, Tim Tebow. I thought Jalen Hurts was the same thing. A little bit blocky. He was a stud. He had an incredible record. But you're in Alabama. I mean, Zito can play quarterback in Alabama, is what everybody says. He looked incredible in Oklahoma.

The balls were on a dime. He missed two balls, I guess, deep. But I like Jalen Hurts a lot. I like the way Tua's playing. They're tanking for him down there in Miami. Hopefully he gets hot for Gumpy and the boys down there with the Finns. But I like college football all of a sudden. I have to.

I think Saban for so long didn't trust his quarterbacks. He just had them play not to lose the game. He never really gave them a chance. And then Lincoln Riley thrives with his quarterbacks. So I think maybe you're seeing that a little bit. I like that video of watching him squat 500 pounds.

Yeah. I mean, he's looks like Derrick Henry. He does does he looks like an animal and he's throwing the ball well and he was smart he was making smart decisions there was chances there where he could have tucked it and run early or something else he was making smart football decisions and i think that's awesome for him i'm happy for him i like the way uh cincinnati plays football too bearcats are hot we'll talk about that in a second this upcoming fall a lot of college football analyzing by your boys here maybe not on our live show as much because we're an nfl show for sure be more nfl dominant but i've fallen in love with college football it's i've been forced to watch it okay let's just call it how it is i have been forced to watch college football when

normally i wouldn't normally i would not watch college football. Well, normally I wouldn't. Normally I would not watch college football. West Virginia. I went to West Virginia. I love West Virginia. I love the Mountaineers. Never on TV out here. So if it's ever on TV, I'll stop by West Virginia football.

But I never really had a rooting interest in college football. This year, due to a profession of mine, I have been forced to watch college football and learn about college football. I don't know any of the motherfuckers' names still, which is very obvious on TV. And I called a cuzzy a couple times. A cuzzy flying around out there.

I can't even see the number from where we're sitting. But I've enjoyed it. I've actually enjoyed watching it and learning about it because the environments are so incredible. They said that one of the quarterbacks at cincinnati desmond ritter grew four inches and put on 55 pounds in one year i forgot about that whenever i was in college like you show up just like a little kid and then you go through the strength program and you're still maturing at those ages you're not even an adult yet i mean you are you can vote you can chew you can play

the lottery you can go to the military you can do a lot of stuff but you're not really a fully created adult human yet so i i think all that's been very very awesome and i'm very excited for the thursday night games i get to call next friday but you get it thursday night football on espn two one and oh teams so far yeah i watched those games too i was like come on wake's got a nice little offense hey they got a freshman quarterback who's slinging it. Big towel on. Did you see him? He had like the Gatorade towel from the side. I was very flustered. That's an equipment room.

Kids got an equipment room towel on. I'm sure he won't have something prepared for that. Ready for it. Kid's got a blanket on his back. But our upcoming fall schedule is going to be involving college football, and it's been fun to learn about it. Listen to Herbstreet talk, by the way. I'm a big fan of that guy.

I like the way Herbstreet talks. He gave you a shout-out. He did, didn't he? I mean, it was after a personal foul in sportsman life. It was still a shout-out nonetheless. Fowler was very excited about the putter. I like that, by the way. He was very excited all game long. I like that by the way He was very excited all game long

I like Fowler He has an energy about him It seems to radiate a bit I think we're going to enjoy this college football season I'm going in there with a completely blank slate I don't really know much about any of these teams Any of these coaches I have no idea who Coach Fickle was

They're like oh he's the guy I'm like yeah he is He's the man He's been Ohio State for 40 fucking years Oh you're going to sit down with Mac Brown next week Come on Mac Let's talk about it He likes ESPN people

They said he'll be nice Because he worked at ESPN And I got a chance to hear him speak At the college football seminar He was very well spoken Because I didn't understand Why Mac Brown was Mac Brown Like okay I get it

You're at Texas Vince Young ran all over people And he ate Cheesecake Factory He quit Like I understand all that But Mac Brown was a very smooth talker He was a good talker I'm excited for it

Our upcoming fall schedule Is going to be outrageous. I'm sorry we took two weeks off. Our studio was literally being built below the one we're in right now. Heartland Radio built their own studio. We're building a studio downstairs currently. It's almost finished. It's been transformed in the last two weeks into something that I think people are really going to like, Todd. Yeah, I can't even explain it. You're going to lose your mind. I think people are really going to todd yeah it's uh just i can't even explain it you're gonna lose your mind i think people are really gonna like it we look

like we're a real show i used to walk into other people's shows foxy knows this walk into bleach report walk into rich eisen's walk into sports illustrated studio i always look around and i go holy shit this is a nice fucking studio and then i always find somebody who's like behind camera that looks like they know what they're doing and before before we go on air, I'm always like, how much you guys spend on this studio? How much you spend on this? And they're always like, oh, we don't know. We don't know. Walking into our studio after the two-week hiatus that we've had here, and it's completely transformed,

I am going to literally talk to one of the DAZN people, and I'm going to say, this is a nice room. How much does it cost? I'm excited to find out. to find out i have no idea this is really taking care of us they built this studio up it's it's awesome it's a real tv studio studio imaginable that's all you had to say but it's been fun it's been fun to see that in this two-week break not only do we have to do that we had no studio didn't really have anything our upcoming fall schedule is uh outrageous i mean it is one where if we were to run right into it without some sort of break mentally physically i'm not sure we'd be able to make it through and when i say that i know that sounds soft especially in comparison to like real jobs right but our job is to be up our job is to be like hey let's go

here we go let's have a good time our job is to bring the energy let's go ahead and give a mental vacation for these people here's the schedule okay we're documenting everything by the way foxy's making like 13 documentaries this upcoming fall so go ahead and toss that into the schedule monday mornings we'll be releasing a documentary about the week prior excited for that shout out to roman for the hardest working man in sports. Yep. Great title. Because if you know anything about Roman, they weren't hitting on anybody.

I was just talking about the penis getting. Monday mornings. Get up on ESPN in New York City with Mike Greenberg, Rex Ryan, Dan Orlovsky, Chris Mortensen. Live in the studio. Then directly from there, we will head to World Trade Center, where the DAZN headquarters are. Hop in a studio there, two-hour live radio show, me and a few other guys. Then we'll record a podcast from there directly after that.

Then we hop on a plane from New york city fly back to indianapolis tuesday morning live radio show from indianapolis recording of heartland radio in the afternoon hop on a plane fly to where thursday night football is wednesday morning live radio from where thursday night football is in a box truck studio that block dad tim mcafee built from his bare hands the last three weeks hey this might be the new standard in all of broadcasting i think so a mobile box truck studio that is fully functionable has full internet capabilities and is ready to go with pretty good space inside tim mcafee built that so let's assume there's going to be some things that are going to be a little bit suspect. But just like Zito says, it'll work out. Oh, yeah.

So that's on Wednesday morning. Then record a podcast after that for Thursday release for Pat McAfee's show. Production meetings for the Thursday Night Football after that. Go to sleep in the city that we're in. Let alone potentially heading to an NXT taping in Orlando for Wednesday nights, which are live on the USA network. Go to sleep. Wake up Thursday morning for Thursday night football city. Do live radio from the box truck studio.

Record a podcast for Friday podcast for Pat McAfee show. Take a nap. Head to the stadium. Call Thursday night football. Hop in a plane. Fly back to Indianapolis for Friday morning's live radio show in Indianapolis, Indiana. Then go ahead and just sail it off into the weekend. Go ahead and have a good old time.

Saturday, Sunday, yelling at my phone, watching college football in the NFL. Put that on repeat for 14 weeks and let's fucking go. And people don't understand. The weekends aren't the weekends because your brain is on all weekend long because you can't just sit back and relax and watch the games. You have to fucking... I'm learning a whole new sport. I'm learning college football this past weekend.

It was great. Yeah, it was. There were some that were tough to watch. It was like, God damn it, I don't want to have to watch this. But both of these teams are potentially going to be on Thursday football later in the year, so I have to watch this game just so I can know something about these teams before going in, unlike the Cincinnati-UCLA game

where I knew nothing about the teams other than what we learned at training camp at higher ground. So this upcoming fall, we're going to be on a run here. We're going to be doing it. And we're very thankful and excited for everybody that's going to follow along with us. This is the 100th episode of this podcast. And I couldn't even fathom doing all this on the first podcast,

thinking that this was going to happen. We had to relaunch an entire RSS feed. We had to relaunch an entire podcast. We had to redo everything. Here we are 100 episodes later. I don't know how many Heartland Radio podcast episodes later, Heartland Radio 2.0 podcast later. But now we're about to just go.

And this is going to be a good time. And we're very thankful for everybody's patience for the last two weeks. We didn't like it either. No. I had a lot of shit to say. I had a lot of shit to say. And you're going to get a lot of us. The week that we're off, the fucking luck thing happens.

I know. Why? It's so you can be free to go on everybody else's show. By the way, good business, Andrew Luckretard. Good for business. Happy he's happy. Good for our business. You think Andrew found out you weren't doing any shows?

Oh, my God. You think that's why he did it? We got to do it. My mic is on vacation. I went to bat for him because he deserved it. He's a hardworking guy. I'm happy for him. I don't know what he's going to do, but it was good for business.

And I can't wait to just do everything. The live radio shows I'm really pumped about. Open phone line, Gumpy screening the calls. Gumpy got here, a job here in America. American dream coming true because of a phone call into our live radio show. Now he's running the phone lines. Hello, that's a story. Wow.

Hey. You got that anywhere else? Hey, write that story there, Disney. Write that as a movie. I work for Disney now. I got a story. Wow. Hey. You got that anywhere else? Hey, write that story there, Disney. Write that as a movie. I work for Disney now. I got a paycheck from them. Write a movie about that. The little Canadian that could.

It's like the Canadian Joe Dirt. It is. It is. That is hilarious to think about. That is what Guppy is. But we're going to have a lot of fun. We're going to go on this ride together. And the documentaries are going to be cool to see, I think.

Because all the little shit behind the scenes, I think people are going to enjoy. I really do think people are going to enjoy. Because the way we operate is a hilarious thing. I mean, we have contracts on Westwood One, Dizone, ESPN, WWE. I'm not sure there's any company in the history of companies that has had four publicly traded companies basically do deals together. There's going to be some hiccups. Let me look real quick. Nope.

None of them. Todd with a quick Google. And I'm excited to see how it all works out. I could die by November. I could be a dead man by November. We'll see, but we're going to give it a go. We're going to give it a goddamn go. We are, and I'm excited for it. I'm very thankful for everybody listening.

Sorry about the two weeks. I hope the Jacoby Brissett conversation was good. I hope our chitter-chatter here about life was good enough for the two weeks. If not, Marshawn Lynch is coming on Thursday, and Steve Nash is coming on Friday. Get ready. Harlan Radio tomorrow debut. We're back. Here

we go. That boy Todd. We're all lucky to be here and excited and thankful for you. Ty Schmidt. Hit the music. Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back I've created a monster, and nobody wants to see Marshall no more They want shady, I'm chopped liver

Well, if you want shady, this is what I'll give ya A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor Some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than the shocks When I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor When I'm not cooperating When I'm rocking the table while he's operating You waited this long to stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating

I know that you got a job, Miss Chaney But your husband's heart problem's complicating You waited as long to stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating I know that you got a job, Miss Chaney But your husband's heart problem's complicating So the FCC won't let me be Or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty without me, so Come on and dip, cum on your lips Fuck that, cum on your lips And slum on your tits and get ready Cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits Fuck you, Debbie!

Now this looks like a job for me So everybody just follow me Cause we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody just follow me Cause we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me

Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious, embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis They start feeling like prisoners, helpless till someone comes along on a mission and yells Bitch! A visionary, vision is scary can start a revolution, polluting the airwaves of rebels So just let me revel in the ask and the fact

that I got everyone kissing my ass and it's a disaster Such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me Well I'm back Fix your benefits and I'm tuning in And I'm gonna enter it up under your skin Like a splinter, the center of attention Back for the winner, I'm in arresting The best things in wrestling, infesting In your kids' ears and nesting Testing, attention please Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free

A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me? Now this looks like a job for me So everybody just follow me Cause we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody just follow me Cause we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me I tisket a tasket, I go tit for tat with Anybody who's talking this shit, that shit Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked

Worse than them little in-biscuit bastards And Moby, you can get stomped by Obi You 36-year-old boy had it fagged lonely You don't know me, you're too old, let go, it's over Nobody listen to techno, now let's go Just give me the signal, I'll be there with a whole list Full of new insults, I've been no, suspenseful with a pencil Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol

But sometimes the shit just seems Everybody only wants to disgust me So this must mean I'm disgusting But it's just me, I'm just obscene Though I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing, some selfish Presley To do black music so selfishly And use it to get

myself wealthy. Hey, there's a concept that works. 20 million other white rappers emerge. But no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty without me. Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody just follow me because we need a little controversy because it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody just follow me because we need a little controversy because it feels so empty without me I said this looks like a job for me

So everybody just follow me Cause we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Outro Music