The Pat McAfee Show - PMS 2.0 638 - Dana White, Chris Distefano In Studio, & AJ Hawk

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

On today's show, Pat, AJ Hawk, and the boys chat about Day 2 of The Masters and where everyone on the leaderboard is at, who the trendy plays going into the weekend will be, how Tiger is doing, the course conditions, and much more. Plus they cover the news that allegedly Tom Brady was going to become a part owner and starting Quarterback for the Miami Dolphins this past offseason, how it got derailed, and if it could potentially happen down the road. Joining the program to chat about this weekends massive UFC 273 card featuring two title matches, and a few of the other big matches on the card is the President of the UFC and friend of the show, Dana White (37:00-52:53). Later, host of the Chrissy Chaos Podcast and the Hey Babe podcast and standup comedian from New York, Chris Distefano joins Pat and AJ in studio to chat about his style of comedy, his act and current tour he's on, where he thinks the state of comedy is right now, his recent encounter with Mets owner Steve Cohen, Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, his relationship with his parents, and much more (52:55-1:43:17). Make sure you subscribe to youtube.com/thepatmcafeeshow to watch the show and listen on Sirius XM Channel 82, Mad Dog Radio. We appreciate the hell out of all you. See you tomorrow, cheers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello beautiful people. It is feel-good Friday, April 8th, 2022 and this sports show shall begin now. Can't thank you enough for joining us here at youtube.com forward slash the Pat McAfee show. A lot going on in the sports world. We can't wait to chat about it. Hopefully we'll get a chance to chat with you as well on our five-hour energy phone line, 1-833-4-MACAFEE. Go ahead and ask your questions, give your takes, add to the show. On this glorious Feel Good Friday, that'll see Dana White here. Okay. Yeah, talking about the massive fight this weekend between the Korean zombie and Alexander Volkanovski.

Volkanovski, big-time favorite, but the Korean zombie, much better name. Yon is also fighting. He's a super favorite over Alja... Main. Main Sterling, who said that he's going to shock the world. He's like a plus 250 or plus 350 fighter. We'll talk to Dana about all that. And then Chrissy Chaos comes on.

Okay. Chris DiStefano will be here in the third hour. Stand-up comedian from New York who I did not know of until I seen a couple tweets from him. Then I talked to Tom Segura about him last week. Segura said he likes him. He's in town tonight for a show. I think he can still buy tickets

or maybe it's probably sold out. I'm not sure. He's stopping by the studio in the third hour. I know nothing about him. I can't wait to meet him. Honestly, can't wait to chat with him. I've heard his energy is fucking fantastic. Hell yeah.

And I enjoy that. Speaking of energy, let's go to the toxic table here at Boston Connor with his fossil man, Greg Ramers. Shades on. You look great, bud. Hey, thanks, Pat. So do you. Yeah, one of my favorites of all time, of course, in the world series of poker.

He should have won every bracelet probably, but we'll take one or two. Nah, Phil Negroni. He's pretty good. Yeah, Phil Ivey. Phil Ivey was the Ivey. He put those eyes on Phil Ivey and Phil Ivey said, excuse me, I just woke up. Get the hell out of my face. I am way cooler than you are. I mean, there is so

many other poker players that I liked more than Greg Rayburn, but we all had our favorite. Yeah, of course. I mean, rounders. Matt Damon also held a poker player. Okay, that was a script. What? Yeah, that was a script our favorite. Yeah, of course. I mean, rounders. Matt Damon also held a poker player. Okay, that was a script. What? Yeah, that was a script. No.

Yeah, Texas Dolly wasn't giving him advice on that entire thing. That was a script. It didn't actually take place. Yeah, be kidding me. By the way, the Oreo cooked. I thought it was based on a true story. The Oreo was cooked. What do you mean?

How so? He knew what the Oreo was going to do whenever he was pulling on it. It was all scripted. No. Yeah. I don't want to fucking break the news, but that movie is scripted. Holy shit. I might take these glasses off.

No, no. He wasn't. He was part of the reality. Fossil Man. Did he really have to pay that man his money? Well, in the script he did, but they knew it was coming. God damn it.

Yeah, I'm not happy about it. That guy, though, he wanted himself. Yeah. He wanted himself With those glasses on So what I'm saying is Greg Rayburn Hell of a poker player Bar looks just like him

It does Thank you Go back to him a little bit Connor I can see it The resemblance is uncanny Wow Alright shout out to you dude Are you wearing those all day yet?

All day yeah Zito got them for me Thank you Shout out Zito got them for me. Thank you. Shout out, Zito. He also looks fantastic today. So I figured, you know, let's feel good Friday, False Man Friday. You know, why not? Yeah, why not?

You look amazing. At Ty Schmidt, baseball happened yesterday. I believe the Yankees are playing today. That's right. The game got pushed against the Red Sox. What happened? Anything big happen in the opening day? Yeah, see, the Pirates lost 9-0.

Yeah. And also, the guy they paid two days ago before the season started, he got hurt in the first inning. That's right. So he got hurt in the first inning, the guy they finally paid, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and then they lose 9-0. The fucking Pirates are cursed and they stink. Sell a team ball.

Anything else happen in baseball yesterday? Outside of the hot start for the Pirates, Shohei Otani did take the bump last night. Let's go. I didn't know that. Pitched very well. Only pitched like four and two thirds innings, but he had nine strikeouts. He was peppering the black. Throwing really hard. He didn't get any hits.

They did lose, which is kind of the issue with Otani. They need to get that guy the fuck out of there because they'll ruin his career. He pitched great last night. Doesn't matter. Gets a loss. Doesn't hit well. Hold on. What team is that? The Angels? Don't So what happens? So hold on. So what team is that? The Angels? Don't they spend money, though?

Oh, yeah. So why do they stink? I thought that was the name of the game in baseball. You spend money, you win. Why do they spend money and lose? Because this is what Bob Nutting is saying. Bob Nutting is saying, I don't spend money, we lose. People spend hundreds and hundreds of millions, they lose too.

So why would I do that? I thought they were a team that went all in. Didn't they sign some big-name guys? Yeah, they kind of went all in in a sense, but they get a lot of position players, a lot of hitters, a lot of guys, stuff like that. You need good pitching. Otani was the first guy they really spent money on.

I think it was last year's draft. They drafted all pitchers because their pitching is so goddamn bad. So they're in a very tough division as well if you don't have good pitching. I mean, you can't rely on Otani to go out there and throw, you know, 400 innings. Who do we need to show? Hey, we need him to be a Yankee. He needs to be a Yankee. He needs to go to the Bronx. We need him to be a Yankee.

And it looks like there's a good chance, you know, the Yankees aren't going to fucking pay Aaron Judge, and he might be gone. So, hey, you know, just kind of replace him. Bring in Otani, and then you got another pitcher who's an absolute dog. So we'll see. And he's a lefty in that – Short porch. Yeah, right? Short porch.

Bingo. That's good news. Bingo. But that was the big news yesterday. It's kind of tough with these early – because, like, you're watching the Cubs game, and it's like 40 degrees outside. It's so goddamn cold. It's like, why are these guys playing baseball already?

No one seems to want to be doing it. But there were some good games. Walk-off homer late last night. Oh, my beer. Why? Why? Beer beer. What? Beer day. What?

So, yeah, Yankees and Red Sox marquee game. I think the first pitch is at like 140 today. So it should be good. Baseball all day today. All right. Well, congrats to the baseball community. Here you go, baseball. I mean, it kind of got swallowed because of what's going on in the back behind the glass.

Nick Morata's there and Foxy's there. But at Viva Lozito. Zito looks amazing right now. Caddy Z, fresh out of Augusta. Go ahead, Z. Go ahead, Z. Look at the patches. He's got the patches. This is straight from Augusta.

Z, you look amazing. You should have made me one shirtless, but it's much colder here than it is in Georgia. I'm realizing back in Indiana weather here, we got another winter coming. Oh, yeah. Not even close to being Indiana weather here, we got another winter coming. Oh, yeah. Not even close to being done. Next week's going to be beautiful, dude.

Yeah, but then I... But then... It's already... I guess it's coming back. Weekend, it goes back down. What the fuck, dude? I thought the global warming thing was happening. No, I'm going to lie to you. It's cold as shit out there.

Oh, and Pong Zatoni waves his wand. Everything like this happens. Oh, yeah, you're right. That rat. Yeah. Indianapolis goes from 40 degrees straight to 90. There's no in-between. Yeah, it's crazy.

The absolute worst. It's like a three season. Yeah. It's like a three season. It's not four. It's like three seasons almost. But the Masters are happening, and it is electrifying because one man is back on the greens doing his thing just a little bit over a year after everybody thought he was going to be paralyzed he

even spoke about it a little bit tiger woods said if you would have seen what my legs look like to where they are now and i'm golfing at the masters he's like he's taking it as a win which is not normal because normally he even tore his ball yesterday fuck off but normally tiger is either win or nothing at all it's almost like he's taking it in which is great for his headspace hopefully he absolutely is dominant yet again today. He beat eight of the top 12 golfers in the world in his first day back. Shout out to Tiger Woods. That's via Kyle Porter of

CBSA. I don't know if we're allowed to read this tweet. Oh, yeah. CBS. Take it off. We don't want Kyle Porter to get fired. He's doing good work. He's finding good stats. But with more from the Masters other than just the tiger information that we know it is time for season two episode one of t4 tones tasty tournament

take it away tone tell you what boys yesterday the masters felt like the masters again 2020 it was played in november what was that 2021 there wasn't a full hill of patrons at amen corner there was not but yesterday when those gates opened all those patrons walked down magnolia lane the pimento cheese was in the air the egg salad was in the air hell The egg salad was in the air. Hell yeah. I feel like I heard a Miller Lite cracking in the Hooters parking lot because JD was signing autographs. Oh, my God. It was all the way back. Hell yeah.

Nance was on the call. Vern was on the call. SVP had his soothing voice there yesterday. And that man, Eldrick Tiger Woods, was back on the grounds. Had a Sunday crew following him all around the course, minus one, Pat. Minus one, which is historically below his average for first round. He doesn't normally start very quick at the Masters, so when Tiger's sitting minus one at the Masters after Thursday,

tell you what, that means Tiger's going to be on the prowl on Friday, and then on moving day on Saturday, man, the big cat's going to be purring, okay? Like Joe Exotic asking Ben Roethlisberger. Thank you, Joe! Joe Exotic's favorite football player, Ben Roethlisberger. We found that out this morning, but let's not get too far off topic here. Let's get back to the big cat.

Leader, Sung Jae Im. Not Barstool big cat, who's an incredibly hilarious and intelligent man.'s get back to the big cat. Leader, Sung Jae Im. Not Barstool Big Cat, who's an incredibly hilarious and intelligent man. We're talking about the big cat that has a golf club in his hand and everybody's scared of him. Hell yeah. Leader after day was Sung Jae Im, the first South Korean to lead a round ever. And a baby Sung Jae!

I mean, I'm sorry about it. There's a tiger lurking. And a baby Sung Jae! Fun fact about Sung Jae, Com Smith from Australia. Down under. Down under. Dustin Johnson, same top three from 2020 that finished the tournament except for DJ won.

Cam Smith and Sungjae tied for second in the 2020 Masters. So a little fun fact about the top three there. World number one, Scotty Scheffler's three under. He's up there. Some of the normal names are up there. Donnie Berger, Will Zalatouris. Rory's trying to make a run today. There were some disappointing names. Rom, JT,

Brooksy, Jordan Spieth, DeChambeau. They didn't have great starts as far as the big names go. Guess what, though? What? Things are going to get a little tricky here today and tomorrow. The wind gusts are supposed to be 20 to 30 mile an hour. The high today is only 64 the high to tomorrow is 58 wait a minute that's cool wait a minute yeah so it's gonna be a little chilly a little windy hopefully tiger's back holds up in the cold

in the wind but you know this is where we really separate people we get to amen corner and then those winds are swirling oh it's like kicking in Heinz. Balls in the water. You get to 12, and those pines are blocking the wind, but you hit it up over above the pines, and you get a gust. Then you're in Rays Creek, and who knows what the fuck's going to happen there. No, you don't want to get down that creek. No. Fucking Rays Creek is a tough spot to be in. It's a good leaderboard, though, and we're set up great for the weekend.

The only concerning thing was that Guido Migliosi was minus two, and then Conor started talking about it yesterday. And I believe he's plus three now, so maybe you keep that man and any Italian man's name out of your fucking mouth for the rest of the tournament. How is Guido Migliosi down if his caddy's smoking cigarettes? What do you mean? How is he plus two? What happened?

You happened. What do you mean? I've been plus two? What happened? You happened. What do you mean? I've been pounding the Guido drum for years now. What do you mean I happened? You. You cursed him. I love Guido. I don't know why you think it was me.

Fucking curse of the Irish. Goddamn snakes were falling around. You've been pounding that drum. You keep it up on my head. So what happened? How did Guido's... You say he started out two under? Yeah, he was two under.

He was leading the tournament. How did Guido's... How does day go after the two under, though? I don't understand how he got plus three. Why did you combine those two words into one word? What do you mean? I didn't say anything. Hey, look, man.

Hey! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You should have smacked him in the mind.

On Cueto's day end is what I was going to ask. Yeah, exactly. You scumbag. That's what I said. Now you did not. Didn't end great. I mean, he is an incredibly good-looking man, so I'm sure his day ended well, and he does have the absolute beauty of a caddy.

But as far as the scoreboard goes, Connor fucked him. All right, well, Guido will bounce back today. Yeah. Guido will bounce back. I feel good about it. And that's what's going on in Augusta. What's it, Chris, that guy? Yeah.

Absolutely amazing. Guido is a stud, dude. Wow. This guy's a golfer. His name is Guido, which is the best name of any golfer ever, not named Tiger. And he is a stallion on and off the course. Master of the GTO.

We are a big fan. Golf tan and laundry. Jersey. Jeez. Golf tan. What? That's what he does. You see that, guys?

You don't know if that's true. Yeah, I do. I actually don't hate that. Golf tan and laundry. Yeah. Pretty good. I actually don't hate that. Golf tan laundry? Yeah. It's pretty good. Cabs are here. Jersey Shore, hell of a run.

But anyway, shout out to T4. Another great addition. Thank you. Thank you for keeping us caught up there on everything happening on the Masters Golf Course. It's good to do a T4 when you actually know anything about the tournament that's happening. Here's another episode of T4 ending with zero reference of the women's basketball tournament. Yeah. Congrats to South Carolina.

Congrats to Leah Boston. Absolutely. In my defense. South Carolina's women's basketball team's defense was locked down. Connecticut only scored like 49 points or something like that. I mean, it was unbelievable. Thanks. Congrats, ladies.

Congrats. I'm just trying to be par for the course here. The Masters. Oh! Masters, not a big fan of the women, I don't think so. What? Well, the Masters for a long time, not a very inclusive place. Well, next week's actually the Women's Masters.

More T4. Another episode of T4. Give me... Hey, how... I'm not diving into it. It's weird, though, isn't it? How have they gotten... Give me Annika Sorensen to win that.

It doesn't make any sense. Celebrate it everywhere. And everyone's okay with it. Well, not everyone. Well, Foxy's home course has the same goddamn rules. They've been up and down in Michigan for 20 years, too. I don't think that's true. I don't think so.

That's not true. It's very interesting how it's just each year. Let's move along. Tom Brady. Great work, Tony. Thank you. Thank you, Tony. Tom Brady owning the Dolphins and playing for the Dolphins as if he was Jackie fucking Moon was allegedly very close to happening.

Now, it has been reported now by two different people. There was one report of it by Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio. And we knew that Mike Florio knows people and knows things and talks to agents and talks to teams. And he's been around and covering the NFL and been the landing page for most NFL coaches around the NFL in their offices for like the last 20 years. So Florio knows his shit. He was the one that was banging the drum like, hey, Tom Brady was going to be an owner of the Dolphins and play for the Dolphins after he retired from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He was not supposed to come back to the Bucs. He was supposed to come back to the Dolphins, basically,

is what Mike Florio has been reporting. And it hadn't really been chatted about because nobody other than Florio was reporting it. Normally, if Florio reports something or any of these other insiders report anything, the other insiders will follow up with somebody that will get it right, get it confirmed, and then they'll all run with it as if they were told the information as well. Florio was the only one talking about Tom Brady and the Dolphins for a long time. So we had seen it. It had obviously crept into our world because Florio is in our world. We do follow along.

So we were looking at it. We didn't really talk about it much. We even asked Ian Rappaport about it. And Rappaport was like, doesn't sound like that could be something that even happens or something like that. Now we are learning that Ben Volan of the Boston Globe, he's senior NFL insider reporter for the Boston Globe. He is also reporting that Miami reportedly planned to pursue Sean Payton and had Brady a quarterback, too.

The plan was scrapped after Brian Flores' lawsuit, which was filed the same day Brady retired. So when Brady retired, he was planning on becoming part owner of the Dolphins and player, as if he was Jackie Moon. That is also coming from front office sports who accrued both of those. So Ben Volan of the Globes. The Globes is a pretty big deal, right? Oh yeah. That's a deal. Yeah, that's like super

journalism insider, right? Old newspaper. Been there for a while. Took down some shady organizations. Goddamn right. I'm talking about the Catholic priest in Boston. Yeah. Getting a little handsy. Oh, that was that movie.

Oh, yeah. Spotlight. So the Globe is like, oh, gee. Legitimate investigative journalism. Yeah. So like somebody, by the way, that whole thing is wild, too. There's another thing that just happened and people just kind of, I mean, it's two here. The first two subjects we've talked about.

How is that just continuing to in the world that we live in right now somebody doesn't tip properly they get cancelled

somebody tips less than what people expect them to be able to tip to somebody that gets projected they get no talked about

but this whole anyways we'll move along Ben Volan though this is a big time deal if he's reporting this as well

Tom Brady to the think about how pumped Giselle had to be Miami's a big time deal if he's reporting this as well Tom Brady to the Miami think about how pumped Giselle had to be Miami's like big time that's the whole entire globe I think he already has

a house down there he's going to be owner of the Dolphins player coach owner let's go what an amazing thing to happen

and then the lawsuit probably distracted that and you know maybe Tom Brady decided I don't want to go work with this guy that's paying people to lose and maybe that's what happened or maybe they just thought now's not the don't want to go work with this guy that's paying people to lose.

And maybe that's what happened. Or maybe they just thought now's not the time for us to be able to do this because of the lawsuit that seems to be super serious and might be setting a precedent for the NFL for the future. But it's crazy that that was going to take place. Did Sean Payton retire out of nowhere because he thought he was going to maybe go be part owner of the Dolphins and their head coach? And did Tom Brady retire out of nowhere because he thought he was going to be part owner of the Dolphins and their head coach and did Tom Brady retire out of nowhere because he thought he was going to be part owner of the Dolphins and a starting quarterback for the Dolphins is that what happened and now that he's back with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers you got to think the writing's on the wall he's going to Miami next year then right this is he's going down there to do the same exact thing as soon as his

contract is over right because Bruce Arians, it's going to take five ones if you want to fucking trade for him. Maybe B.A. had heard the rumblings that he retired so that he could go down to Miami. He was like, well, that's bad business. That's not what we're doing there. But I would like to say, great business for Tom Brady if he's going to become a fucking owner of a team to play football.

Allegedly, it was just rumor. And people know that I know Peyton, so whenever I say this, people think this came from Peyton. I am saying this just strictly as somebody that heard the rumor mill and would never directly ask the mannings about their business because i don't think that's my role in my relationship with the mannings at all like hey is this what's happening allegedly the titans were trying to make payton an owner and then he would be able to be the quarterback for their team that was just something that was being chatted about whenever he was cut from the Indianapolis Colts and a free agent at the time because he was visiting the Titans obviously he went to Tennessee there is a

numerous streets in Tennessee called Manning Way the amount of kids named Peyton in Tennessee is more than any other state other than maybe Indiana caught up to it because of that so that was just rumblings. I was like, oh, that would make sense. And that would be awesome if he fucking owned the team and played for the team. And in Nashville with his connections and everything would have been sweet. He ends up at Denver. I think they give him the keys.

So maybe that wasn't real at all. I think this would be the first time that would take place. That would be amazing. Fucking good for Tom if that was going to take place. And who knows if that starts becoming a new norm maybe out there. I would assume that offer stays on the table then if this is accurate too, right? I mean, it's not like outside of, who knows, Brady playing terrible this year and then having it be very apparent like, oh, maybe he is done.

It's not like they're going to pull that away. Unless Sean Payton gets a goal for a year. Well, and you mentioned it. It does kind of make sense. When they asked Sean Payton when he retired, they asked him if he was done, and he was like, well, I'll never say never. I'd look at other opportunities.

I don't know what I'm going to do next year. It was kind of like Brady's thing. It didn't really seem like a full retirement. It just seemed like that's what he was doing in the moment, and it makes a lot more sense now that this almost did happen then. Sean Payton walking into his office one day. His phone rang.

Talk to me. Oh, agent guy, what's going on? I'm going to get part of the fucking team? And live in Miami? What's my salary? Oh, I get to decide because I'm the fucking owner? Yeah, actually, let me put a fucking memo i'm retiring put a press conference out it's happening at three o'clock and like because his retirement came out of no like on a monday it was like a random monday and then he did an hour and 10 minute press conference and it was like what

the fuck just happened and he never really even used the word retire. It was step away. Step away. Oh, good for them, man. That had to be such a cool day for Tom whenever he was presented with, hey, you own a team and play quarterback, and it's Miami where you already have a house and your wife would love it and there's the beaches and there's still no state tax and everything. You're cool with that, right?

Sounds good. Yeah, tell Schefter to fucking put that tweet out. Right now. Tell Schefter to put that tweet out that I'm retired. Make me baby face because Schefter forced me into an early retirement. Let's go ahead and do this whole thing. I'm not saying that's what took place,

but you could see how maybe that being held in front of them would be like, yeah. How much was the meteorite steal you guys just signed for? $110 billion. Oh, that's going down too probably, right? With like Apple coming in and Netflix coming in and Google coming in and Amazon already in. That number is not going to go up, right? That's only going to go down.

Oh, it's going to double. Oh, it's going to triple. And that's just half of our profit because the other half, the merch, the stadiums, the sales, everything. Oh, that's going to probably go up too because the nfl is now going more global there's going to be games in in germany now and in england probably in australia at some point i mean there's going to okay so i get to be a fucking part of that and play and run the team yeah okay you could see how that would be pretty good all right retire i'm retiring today fucking get me out of here it seems like that's more and more true ben volan knows his shit yeah he knows his shit and also

when you just look at like what the saints did i don't think sean payton would have retired if he knew they were going after deshaun watson unless he had this miami plan in the back and it makes sense too because wasn't it reported that b flow wouldn't meet on uh the owner's yacht ross's yacht because uh it was brady or he didn't want to do that entire thing and didn't want to have Brady as his quarterback. So as soon as B-Flow gets fired, Brady comes back, and then Sean Payton steps away. But it turns out Brady's going back to Tampa, unfortunately.

This is insanity. It's awesome. Good for both of them. Yeah. Good for Sean and for Tom. Now, backfire, it turned like it didn't work, but Sean golfs for a year, Tom plays for Tampa for a year, and then we're right back.

Without Bruce, too. At Bubba Gumpino. How do you feel about this whole thing, man? Dolphins fans got to be sitting here thinking to themselves, well, goddamn, at least we tried to really go for it. It never ends with the Dolphins, it feels like. There's always something fucking floating around. The big part of this is, if it doesn't go well with Tua,

Tom Brady will be the starting quarterback for the Dolphins. Yeah, all season. So instead of Fitz Magic coming in with two minutes left, instead the Dolphins fans are just going to be like, oh, that's all right, two or three picks. Never fuck with him.

Tom Brady's here next year. Don't worry about it. I mean, Devontae Parker's having the best year he's ever had for the New England Patriots. Yeah, he's 15. Are we going to get Gronk next year too? Yeah. If Tom's here.

Oh, yeah. He's already got a house in Miami too. Antonio Brown. I think he likes Miami. With Tyree Hill. Oh, my. Jalen Waddle. All the guys from Miami that just want to come back home to Miami,

you do what you did in Tampa to Miami. It's actual home for all these guys. If it's not Tom, it's Lamar Jackson. If we win a Super Bowl, whatever it takes, my friend. Oh, fuck you, Gump. What if Gump becomes king of the castle for the next 10 years and this just becomes the new thing?

It's possible. It won't happen. McDaniels feels different. He does. McDaniel. McDaniel, McDaniels I said his name wrong the day after somebody spelled my name wrong In a tweet and we talked about the person spelling my name wrong And then I was calling McDaniel, McDaniels

This guy acts like he's upset when people Fuck up his name, he fucks up names all the time Just wait for this Dana White conversation Volkanovski And the Korean zombie And then Al Jermaine Sterling takes on Petereter yawn and then there's um comes off kimmy ev oh yeah there it is oh comes up he's fucking tall that guy oh yeah he talks

shit he's in he's a minus 490 or something to win all the fights are heavy favorites this weekend he's i think he's finished every single one of his fights in the ufc he was the guy who fought uh 10 days apart in abu dhabi and knocked out both the guys so he's bad yeah he's finished every single one of his fights in the UFC. He was the guy who fought 10 days apart in Abu Dhabi and knocked out both the guys. So he's bad as hell. Yeah, he's a bad son of a bitch. He's the guy. Yeah, and he's got the neck beard thing. Yeah, and he's just ragdoll.

And by the way, UFC sent us these clips. He's talking to Dana White here, too, in that clip before. He shoots. He takes everybody down so quickly. Yeah, boom. Just easily, effortlessly. Where's he from? He's from...

Is he... he's from uh is he uh he's from where he might be from daghestan yeah hey don't just accidentally get lost in daghestan do not piss anybody off over there feels like they are the toughest group of humans of all time just now in an attic in ohio a COVID survivor, a college football national champion, a Super Bowl champion, A.J. Haas. Hey, A.J. How's it going, A.J.? Good.

So, Connor is Raymer, the old poker guy? Yeah, fossil man. That's some good recall. You remember that dude? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you talking about me or Connor? I'm talking to you. I do remember that dude.

He was my least favorite poker player. Oh, come on. Yeah, he was my... Gus Hansen was the best. You remember him? Probably not. Oh, God. Shaved head.

He was amazing. Stone Cold. What? Negreanu, dude. Daniel Negreanu? Yeah. He was a Canadian wonder there. He always had good hair dye.

Oh, yeah. Always dressed super cool. Phil Ivey was the guy, though. I think he was like the coolest son of a bitch out there. Scotty Wynn, I think. Scotty Wynn. Doyle Brunson. Johnny Chan.

Phil Helmuth. Johnny Chan, there it is. He's in rounders. Eric Seidel. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Hold on, there's another guy. There's another guy.

Craig Ferguson. Jesus. Craig Ferguson. Unabomber, too. Ty Kaczynski. Now he Craig Ferguson. Unabomber too. Ty Kaczynski. Now he calls himself the Unabomber. I forget his actual name. He's got the hoodie. Yeah, he's got like messed up hair. Yeah.

Ah, whatever. People will never understand that that took over the world. World Series of Poker took over. World Series of Poker is the reason why I ended up at West Virginia. Why is that? Because I fucking won a poker game to get enough money to go to the goddamn kicking camp in which I kicked a 65-yard field goal, missed a 70-yard field goal wide right.

Next day at school, Tony Gibson from West Virginia walks in, hands me the trophy that I won because I left the competition before it ended because I had a flight, and then offers me a scholarship to West Virginia. Would have never been able to go if it wasn't for the poker game that was in the basement of that awesome Paisano restaurant. It was straight out of a fucking movie. But the reason why I went to it to begin with is because we all played all the time, and I was a pretty good poker player.

I get good cards, and I knew the gamesmanship. I knew the gamesmanship for it. I wasn't scared to wait one out but I'm also not too dumb to hold on hope too I felt pretty good like I was in poker and it's all because the world series of poker kind of took over the entire globe there for a bit yeah thank you Chris moneymaker right he's the one that started it all yeah moneymaker won like seven million or something everybody was like oh my god that working class out of shape dude can win seven million dollars just by sitting and playing with two cards in front of him.

Let's all figure out how the hell to do that ASAP. You guys, I'd assume your community, much like our community, there was games like every night at random guys' garages and basements, and it was like quarter 50-cent annies and everything like that. I mean, yeah, we were in it all the way. We bought – they had a poker table they sold at Dick's. And myself, Nick Mangold, and my other roommate, we went together and bought it and put it in our dining room in our college house.

We played all the time. Oh, that's amazing. We had the chips, all of it. Yeah, it was awesome. My dining room table when I got to the Colts, poker table on top, you lift that up, craps table underneath. Ooh. Nice.

Yeah, people wondered what I was up to in my off-duty. Oh, listen, we've got a full crap stable here. You want to go? We're in a little boiler room operation, if you ever saw that movie, hopefully. Well, the house didn't always win. I found that interesting. It's bullshit. What the fuck is the deal?

How come these dye are a lot more lenient to the customers here than they are at every casino I've ever walked through in my entire life? Those were some long nights back in the day, fun times. Shout out to Fossil Man, Greg Raymer. AJ, just a quick update. The Masters is happening, and I don't know if you saw in Hour 1, we had another edition, Season 2, Episode 1 of T4. This one, a Masters edition, and Tone Diggs ran through everything. Would you like another version of that?

Would you like Episode 2 of Season 2? I absolutely need to see it because I saw the clip online and I didn't get a chance to watch it before I came on. I'm not joking. I was very excited when I saw Tone had like three and a half minutes or something. Yes, it was a long one. And by the way, I'm looking at the turnover of the people that watch

the show. Normally about 41 minutes or 30-something minutes to 41 minutes. Oh, yeah. So that means everybody that's watching currently has not gotten a chance to see season two of T-For 41 minutes. Oh, yeah. So that means everybody that's watching currently has not gotten a chance to see Season 2 of T4 just yet. Hell, yeah. Well, don't you worry. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for Season 2, Episode 2 of T4.

Ladies and gentlemen, Tone's Tasty Tournament Time! That a baby tone. Take it away. Tell you Tournament time. Little baby tone. Take it away. Tell you what, Pat. Oh, geez. Listen, remember, don't mail it in. This is somebody's first time seeing season two. As you always say.

AJ hasn't seen season two yet. Don't fucking mail it in. As you say with your stand-up comedy, it's always awesome to do the same thing back to back. 2020 was not really the Masters. It was in November. It was cold. These dahlias weren't even in bloom. It was 2020.

Yeah. No Guido. Shout out to DJ for winning that, though. I don't think Guido was in the Masters. 2021, we were back at least to the same time frame, but the hills weren't full of patrons. There was no yups, except for... Yeah, he was there.

It just didn't feel right. You were one of the yups walking around, weren't you? No, I was not in November. I went to the one where there was like... Yeah, last year. I mean, pay attention. Fucking listen. Hey, come on, listen to T4, dude.

This is his third time doing it. Jesus Christ. 2022 really feels like we are officially back. You can smell the pimento cheese in the air. The egg salad sandwiches. Chopping egg sandwiches. Chopping egg salad sandwiches. The patrons are walking down Magnolia Lane because they're not allowed to run.

It is a fine if you run on the golf course how much? how much of a fine do we know? 5,000 euros John Daly signing boobs in the Hooters parking lot it's back the soothing sounds

of the birds in the Augusta theme song and Jim Nance is on a higher horse than everyone who's ever been on a high horse in their entire lives. Hello, friends. Hello, friends. I have lower status than me. Stick up my ass.

No! Tony! Tony! Try Jim Nance around here. What is that? We'll edit that out of fucking season two episode two. Jeez Louise.

Thank you, Fox. Tiger is all the way back. Had one of his best first rounds of all time. He tees off at 141 today. Is that good news? I don't know because the winds are swirling right now. There is not a lot of people putting up low numbers right now. Sungjae Im was the leader at five under yesterday, followed by Dustin Johnson, Cam Smith, and Com Smith from

Australia. Right now, Com Smith is the leader at four under. He hasn't even teed off yet. Sungjae's all the way back to three oh he's already plus two on the day yeah how many holes dj's all the way back to two they're on their back nine oh my god wind is causing issues so you're gonna look at that at players that are normally good in the wind a lot of you know a lot of irish players of course playing to win a lot of the english the welsh players guys that have grown up playing in the wind. Not guys like Bryson who played terrible yesterday. Giorno didn't play great yesterday.

Kapka did not play great yesterday. Brooksy? Brooksy did not. He just wasn't there. Like I said, the wind will stick around for tomorrow for moving day. How's Tiger doing in the wind? I mean, he's going to hit the Tigers. He hits that low stinger.

He does well. Yeah, it lights out. He still got the stinger? Is that a? We're going to see in about 30 minutes. He came out of the womb hitting the stinger. Hold on. The stinger, not as far back, not as far up, right? He's probably able to hit the stinger.

Sawed off fucking shotgun is what it is. Well, Foxy, what are you? It's a lot of impact. You're slamming the ground to keep that ball. Well, I'm a little nervous about that. Foxy played high school golf, grew up on a golf course. Yeah, same rules as Augusta. Are you southpawing golf too, Foxy?

No, only when I shoot, I shoot lefty. That's it. Everything else right-handed. How's William Horschel doing? Billy Horschel is not having it. He's going to kill somebody. Oh, yeah, it's too bad to see Billy Horschel's fucking choking again, and he's not going to make the cut.

Yeah, oh. Boo-hoo. No Billy Horschel's fucking choking again, and he's not going to make the cut. Boo-hoo. No Billy Horschel this weekend. I told these guys earlier, listen, I never had an issue with Billy Horschel. I probably tweeted one weekend like, hey, this asshole needs to pick up the pace of play or something like that. He blocked my ass about three years ago, so fuck Billy Horschel. I hope he never makes a cut again. I know that, Ty.

Sorry, I almost cut that off. Hey, I found that out this morning. I hope he never makes a cut again. I know that, Ty. Sorry, I almost cut that off. Hey, I found that out this morning. I was really excited. That's why I asked things about William Horschel there, just to see what Ty would say. Because I didn't know how Ty was going to say this on the show. I'm surprised you did go the most aggressive. Yeah.

You threw the middle finger fastball right there at Billy Horschel. I think bygones will be bygones eventually. But you were about to say something about old William there. I'm watching him earlier, and I'm like, man, what a bad day that you don't play your best golf. Because he was a featured group. So on the featured group, they're streaming on ESPN+. They can't cut away. They have to show all their shots.

So you're watching Billy just lose his mind, especially on the front nine. I was like, this dude, he may break every club in his bag by the end of this round. Hey, listen, Billy, not everybody feels the way Ty does at this show, okay? I like Billy. I like Billy, too. I don't know anything about him. Watch him for one round. You ain't going to fucking like him. To know him is to not like him. What? You know him?

Shout out Mark Madden. Jesus, that is a Mark Madden quote there. When we play at Tahoe, are they going to show every one of our shots? How does this work? There's cameras everywhere. I mean, they show stuff live. Every day they show certain stuff on TV,

but usually it's people that are close to the lead. They're showing a lot of their shots. I've been hitting the putting green upstairs. Dialed in. Hey, if you drain some putts, they'll absolutely show those on TV. Okay, so I'm going to need a lot of booze and weed out there. That's when the flat stick really starts. Legal state. I think you'll be alright.

I think you'll be okay. Oh, yeah, okay. No weed, by the way. I don't want to disrespect Tahoe like that. No, it's legal. No, but I'm professional, obviously. I'm very thankful. Do they allow a healthy amount of boozing on the course, AJ? You can do whatever you want. There's no rules.

That's a dangerous thing to say. They're not making rules. They're not saying, hey, keep it tight out there, boys. I'm not coming to ruin the whole party, but I will find out what is available, what isn't available. I see a couple beer bongs, right? A couple beer bongs down there. I played with Oshie on the 17th green.

He went to the crowd, put a beer helmet on, and he drained like an 80-foot putt with two of the beers going in his mouth. That's why he's an American here. Thank you, TJ Yoshi. Love you. TJ Yoshi. I did want to shout out before we – there is one guy who's on the course right now, and he's going low.

T4's over. T4's been over. Hasn't it? It has been over. I didn't know. It's never over. He fucking killed William didn't know. I didn't hear that. It's never over. He fucking killed William Horschel.

I didn't hear the end credits. Yeah. Okay. I didn't expect that. No, this is post-credits. This is good. This is like the Jackie Chan stuff after the movie's already over. Encore.

Encore. Our guy. Charles Sortschel. The South African brew. He is going low today. He's now currently in second and three under because he knows, and he grew up as a boy, when the wind comes off the Cape of Good Hope, down in South Africa, Bruce.

I mean, this is a guy who knows how to deal with wind and great white sharks on a lot of adversity. Former Masters champion. Shout out, Charles. Shout out, Charles. Congrats to T4 as well. Joining us now is a man who is the face of the fight game, a guy who has completely turned the presentation of mixed martial arts around from what it once was to what it is now,

a global sensation, a global phenomenon. This weekend, UFC 273, headlined by Alexander Volkanovsky in The Korean Zombie Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the UFC and host of Fuck It Fridays Dana White What's up man? What's up boys, how are you? Hey, not too bad, how are you? You look like you're in a really nice place This isn't your normal call-in, where are you right now? No, I'm in a hotel room in

Jacksonville. Oh, nice. How's it going? Really nice. You got the upper suite. You got the presidential suite up there. Yeah, the elevator actually comes to my floor. It's nice. It's a cool place. Well, you deserved it. You've earned it. Jacksonville, was that the first one with fans post-COVID as well? That's why we've been back to Jacksonville so much. I'm super loyal to these guys, you know, for what they did for me during the pandemic. It feels like the fans down there are big time. And this weekend's fight lineup is awesome. Obviously, we just talked about Volkanovski and the Korean Zombie. So we try to look up the Korean Zombie's name.

Google has it as the Korean Zombie. That's awesome. Yes. What do you expect out of that fight dana his name is uh chan sung jung is his name okay that's the real his real name but i love that it's he's got it as a korean tell me that's not the greatest fight nickname of all time uh i think so what do you see out of this fight happening? There's a lot of super favorites this weekend, Dana. I think we're all excited because it feels like there's going to be a lot of finished fights. Minus 490, I think Peter Yan is at like minus 350.

Kamzat Kimyev. Kamzat Kimyev is at like minus 490. There's going to be some explosive shit this weekend in Jacksonville, huh? Yeah, no, that's a good point. I mean, normally when you see the lines on a UFC fight and you know how this goes, anything can happen in a fight. I mean, for the Korean zombie to be that big of an underdog, that's crazy. He's got knockout power in both hands. His submission game is awesome. And he's a guy who presses forward, has obviously, you know, with the nickname, has an incredible chin. But I think people are finally starting to give Volkanovski

the respect he deserves. This guy hasn't lost. He's on a 20-fight win streak. I mean, you know, so he's beat some of the best guys in the world. He's the world champion. And the oddsmakers are showing him respect. Yeah, Volkanovski, he also has a great personality. I feel like he's a good talker, too.

Like, he's a fun dude. But I wanted to ask you about the Gilbert Burns and the Kamzat fight a lot of people talking about that what do you think is going to happen yeah that fight is huge it's funny because if you look at how stacked this card is and how many great fights are and the main and the co-main are awesome that fight is outperforming uh the main and the co-main by by seven or eight times on on social media and everything else. So Hamzat Shumayev is a guy that people are very excited about. People want to know if he's for real. He's taken on the number two welterweight in the world, again,

and a guy like Gilbert Burns who has knockout power in both hands, unbelievable ground game, and people feel like he's that big of an underdog to Hamzat. So this card is so badass and so fun. I've been so pumped for this card all week. Hey, we're pumped for it as well. I can't wait to watch. It's going to be, you know, golf and then people knocking the fuck out of each other.

I mean, it's like a great Saturday coming up for every single sports center. Hamzat, though, let's talk about he's 10-0 and he shit talks in the middle of his fights. I think in Abu Dhabi there was like a 10-day separation between one fight and the next, and he ended absolutely both of them. When you see somebody like that, you have to get so excited, because he's young, feels like

he's got a lot of fights left, and he understands everything about it. This weekend, massive weekend for him professionally, in your eyes with you, are you sending him right to the... Are you putting a rocket ship on that fucking guy if he wins this weekend there's been a rocket ship on him since his first fight at and fight island yeah he fought in fight island he screamed to me i want to fight again next week i grabbed the matchmakers and said let's do this uh and and the guy has been special ever since uh you know people are fascinated with this guy. But this weekend, we'll tell the story.

I mean, again, to be that big of a favorite over Gilbert Burns, who's the number two ranked guy in the world and who's fought everybody. And I just saw an interview with Gilbert Burns where Gilbert said, guess what? I was that dude two years ago. I believed I was unbeatable. I believed nobody could beat me. And people believe that I couldn't be beat.

But we can all lose a fight on any given day. So it's going to be a fun one. Hey, what do you think separates the good fighters from the great fighters? What do you think it is? Other than obviously skill, is there some sort of mental aptitude that you've met from some of these guys that are at the top that you think separates them from everybody else? you think separates them from everybody else? Yeah, I mean, when I first met the Ronda Rouseys and the Conor McGregors and even Chuck Liddell back in the day, and Juliana Pena, who's the champ right now, these people walk right up to me and get in my face and they tell me what's going to happen

and how this is going to work out. It's a fascinating thing when you meet a fighter who is extremely confident, uh, and believes, uh, that they're going to be a world champion someday and that they're going to be in the top five in the UFC. And it's almost like they manifest this in it. And everything they tell me ends up coming true. How many people come up to you and say, and then like a couple of minutes later, you're watching them get knocked out on the canvas. Well, I wouldn't say that, that other people come say it to me there's people that we've looked at and said oh this could be the next big uh i'm trying to remember i was with uh i was with president trump when he was president he came to

the fight we're in the back and i'm like hey mr president this this this guy right here this guy right here is gonna to be the guy. And we sat there and watched him get his ass whooped. I can't remember. And he still busts my balls about that to today. He still brings that up and talks about it. Yeah, that's probably because whenever he was talking to somebody later that night, he said, you know, my sources are telling me this guy.

No, no, no. It was while he was there with me. We sat there and watched him get his ass whooped. That's awesome. Hold that over your head for the rest of your life. Go ahead, Ty. Dana, it seemed like maybe seven to ten years ago, there was always the 4th of July card was massive,

then the year-end one, and then the Super Bowl weekend card. Are you looking in advance to some of these key dates, or has it gotten to the point where there are so many good fighters that you guys have that you know kind of every month and every card you have it doesn't really matter like are there still dates that you like okay this has got to be the best show of the year yeah no that's a great question because every time we do i'm like oh man this the show is unbelievable this card is this and that i don't know how but we usually end up beating it and we're like, oh my God, this is the card that, I literally just had somebody reach out to me

talking about this card this weekend. And I said, wait till you see the lineup that we have for this summer. I mean, this summer is badass. As long as, knock on some wood here, everybody stays healthy and, you know, everything goes well, we got a badass lineup this summer. We were talking to Vince McMahon and Vince says, you know, he never looks back.

What am I even thinking about looking back? I'll obviously take what I learned, but I'm looking forward. At what point after a card, like Saturday night, early Sunday morning, do you and your team meet about the expectations of what that card was and move forward, or is it, hey, we just got to learn from this and try to take either the good from this and go next or the bad from this and go next? you have like a weekly meeting to talk about the fight before the night before yeah that's exactly how it goes once the show is behind you

you're only looking forward and uh we get together on tuesday because you know most of the time people are traveling and monday you got to catch up with shit that you didn't get done last week so tuesday is the big matchmaking meeting every week we get into a room and the people that shined on saturday night we figure out what their trajectory is going to be and what's next for them now i'm gonna go back to the donald trump thing when he had you had him come to the fights when he was still sitting president how was that like was the security Did you all have to get crazy background checks? Like, what was the process like? Yeah, you know, they did some background checks,

but Trump's a gangster. Trump never, you know, they didn't want him sitting on the floor. They wanted him in a box. They didn't want him in. He walked right out of that tunnel and walked right through that arena. Let me tell you what.

Ask anybody who was there that night in Nework when he came that was at that event i've been doing this for over 20 years i've never been to an event like that ever when he walked out of that tunnel that place went nuts man everybody was standing on their chairs everybody had their phones on and it was it was an incredible moment i said i assume he tells the story too and then he he always ends it with and dana knew didn't know fucking shit about any of the funny things uh hey on the intros and on the entrances how much time do you guys focus on that is there rehearsal for that or is that just kind of an afterthought like hey let's come out into the whatever music and just kind of throw it away we rehearse like crazy we rehearse those like we've never put an event on in our life uh i'm very uh very

meticulous about not only that's a big deal dana the entrance is a big deal it's the biggest deal it's the biggest deal there's there's three things leading up to the fight you got the weigh-ins and the face-offs right you got the fighters walking out of the tunnel and you got the weigh-ins and the face-offs, right? You got the fighters walking out of the tunnel, and you got the fight. Those are the three things. So, yes, they're very important, and we practice them like we've never done it before. I'm very crazy about how it looks on TV when you're home watching it, and I'm even crazier about how it looks live when you're there. And you actually flew there, spent money, money bought tickets and paid for hotel rooms yeah you you talking

about the people in the arena and how important they are to your entire business was kind of not kind of cool it was pretty cool just because I feel like you appreciate and respect the live event which not a lot some people forget about but the people that are there they're a massive part of the show as well. And if you fucking, you know, feed them, it's only going to make it for a better viewing experience on TV. So if you're, if you stay home on Saturday night and watch them, you literally walk over to your couch, push a button and turn it on. You come to my live event. You got to fly there, get a hotel room, get to the arena, go to your seats the the people who come to the event are are the most important thing and and my thing too is when you see a live event like it's great on tv it's one

of those sports that's incredible on tv but it's even better live nobody walks out of a live event and says yeah i don't ever want to come to one of these again it was like a gladiator i think my first one was in baltimore john jones was fighting somebody he was just like fucking with him all night but that that's arena is shit i mean it's a bad arena but it almost like added to the environment of the gladiator feel we're sitting on top of the cage it was like this is one of the most electric things of all time john wins i get hammered drunk afterwards it was a absolute blast couple more couple more. Well, you know what? Speaking of that, you know what's pretty cool right now

is that sports has been on fire for the last fucking 40 years, right? The sports business has just continued to go like this. Now, there's so many different sports, concerts, all these things that are going on. Arenas are popping up everywhere. And

these are like state-of-the-art arenas. Just in Vegas alone, they just built the stadium. You got the T-Mobile, and now they're building the Sphere, which is the Madison Square Garden group, and somebody else is building an arena. So there's going to be all these options for these badass arenas, and they just keep getting better and better, and they're just going to create more of a better life experience.

How do you pick and choose where to go? I assume there's a lot of lobbying to you to have you bring the UFC to their arena. Are you clear in every single state at this point or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're clear everywhere in the world. every single state at this point or no yeah yeah yeah we're we're clear everywhere in the world um so uh yeah as these arenas keep popping up we will uh we will start cutting better and better deals i could imagine these people coming hey come to indianapolis hey what do you say we got a good fucking arena here talking to dana white president of the ufc go ahead connor yeah dana the colby

covington and jorge masvidal fight was pretty electric. Do you think there will be another one of those going forward, or will Colby get another shot at the belt? Oh, oh. I think. Oh, whoa, whoa. You didn't want to answer that. I think that if Hamzat Shumayev wins this weekend,

we see him and Colby Covington next. Is that breaking news? That breaking news right there? Yeah, that's why I paused for... Dang it, Dana! Hey, thanks for blessing us with that. Thank you for blessing us with that. We appreciate that.

Great fucking question. So I have a fight coming up on ABC. And in a perfect world, if everything plays out right, I would love to do Hamzat versus Colby if Hamzat should win on Saturday night. Okay, how do you feel about all the out-of-the-ring stuff, out-of-the-octagon stuff that went on with Colby and Jorge?

Obviously, the media is going to report it as, you know, a bad thing, and it is. Everybody should take care of each other. You can't be fighting in public. There's a reason you fight privately. But you talked about it. When you've got should everybody should take care of each other you can't be fighting in public there's a reason you fight privately but you talked about it when you got two people that actually genuinely hate each other normally the build-up is pretty solid there I don't know if they're ever going to settle it well I say this all the time listen man first of all in no way shape or form do I ever condone violence and people you know my guys fighting

each other in the streets and shit like that but But on the flip side, when you're dealing with a guy like Jorge Masvidal and you start talking about his family, all these fighters, it's like, listen, say what you want to say about me or you hate me, you think I'm ugly, you think I'm stupid, whatever my thing is. But when you start talking about people's families, it goes to a whole other level, man. You talk about people's families and you're walking out of a restaurant. You better be ready for a guy like Jorge Masvidal

to run up on you. Dana, I mean, is anybody shocked that he talks shit about his kids and his wife and you think that he's not going to do that? Of course he's going to do that. It's very interesting though, because in the MMA business, there's so much respect.

I think that is, as somebody that never, I was never into any mixed martial arts, any of them. I had friends that were in it, but I never got, I never understood how you could want to fight somebody and then immediately afterwards have the utmost respect. And they're like, how could you not have the utmost respect for a person that you just want in there and want to battle against, basically. It's a big time respect business. And I think that's why it was so startling what happened in the streets just a couple of weeks ago. Well, you got to understand these guys, these guys were actually friends and training partners. So they know intimate details about each other, about each other's lives, about each other's families. And, uh, you know, there's, there's something that's called fucking man code, man.

And, and, and a lot of these young goofy fucking dudes these days don't know about it, but they need to learn about it. Hey, the world's changing, but the one thing that can remain the same is the UFC is a rocket ship, and it's because of your guidance, man. We appreciate the hell out of you. Thank you. Appreciate it, boys. Have a great day.

Hey, how about you breaking news right here, too? That's fucking big time. Here we go. We feel like we're big time all of a sudden, Dan. Thank you for— Hey, look in your bank account. You know you're big time all of a sudden, Dana. Thank you. Look in your bank account. You know you're big time. All right, all right.

Ladies and gentlemen, president of the UFC, Dana Ware. Yeah! And we are joined in person with an electrifying comedian, the host of the Chrissy Chaos podcast, the Hey Babe podcast. He's live in Indianapolis tonight, in Denver tomorrow. Go buy tickets at chrisdcomedy.com. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris DeStefano.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. We finally did it. We made it. I appreciate you guys having me. AJ, I got the headphones on because I want to hear your voice. They said I could only hear your voice through the headphones and I just um let me hear that voice Chris hey Chris it's great to have a real Italian in studio so you need to relax okay well here let me tell you

something the last name is Stefano right you were talking about Ancestry.com. I did my Ancestry.com, found out I'm 98% German. Whoops. So I had no idea. And then, yeah, that's a big one. That's, you know, we have history. That's a big one. So I was like, well, somebody's lying. And nobody in my family will tell me, because everyone's like, my dad's, you know, Tony DeStefano.

They called him Tony Balls in the streets. And then my mother's white with red hair. I'm like i adopted by fucking nazis what's going on what are you hiding me from and and uh but that's what i am so you know hey well paisano you look fantastic i appreciate it buddy i appreciate it man i feel good i like indianapolis i you asked me to come on the show late yesterday which i appreciate I flew to Cincinnati then I drove here two hours no way I swear to God

dude in a Chevy Equinox because I'm a piece of shit all to get in here because here's the truth okay I'm sorry to be here but here's the truth folks is I

I've been on a comedy tour and tickets have been going well and then I ran into a brick fucking wall with ticket sales and that wall is called Indianapolis no way buddy i would have canceled the show if you didn't let me come on today i was going to cancel i was going to say i have covid i had body aches and i couldn't smell

until you dm me i said oh my god i feel like a million bucks get me on the delta comfort middle seat that's all they had left all right well i'm happy you don't have covet anymore well who knows i mean i might indianapolis is very lucky that you came man thank you for coming with that being said i had never met you before i did not know you before i had learned you along with many people no no no but i'm happy i did by the way you're electrifying sir you really are and in the comedy world there's so many different styles right there's the miserable people there's the deep thinking people there's the weird people the electricity comedians i enjoy immensely so i'm thankful that i'm getting to know you well listen man you know listen my nickname i call myself chrissy in the closet till my dad dies that's where the electricity comes from is i'm

fucking in the closet until my dad passes away because i got i pushed i got big triceps because i pushed down the gay all day. And I think that's where my comedy comes from. It's because it's just, you know what I mean? Shout out gay people. I love gay people. AJ, you know, everybody's gay. I'm going to tell my kids I met Leah Thomas.

Jesus. Jesus. I'm kidding, AJ. Dude, you know I'm fucking kidding. You're not ready as he's ready as the fucking bookshelf over there. No, no, no, no. I thought he was pointing to Connor. Yes, that's what I was. Because I saw. He's not ready. He's ready as the fucking bookshelf. No, no, no, no. I thought he was pointing to Connor. Yes, that's what I was.

Because I saw, here's the thing. It's nice. It's okay when a joke bombs because AJ's not in the building. Because if he was in the building, I wouldn't have said that. I would have tucked my dick in between my legs and just said it. I would have Buffalo Billed it. How old are you? How old are you, Chris?

37 years old, American. Okay. 37 American. How about Euro? 38?? 37 years old, American. Okay. 37 American. How about Euro? 38? I'm 38 Euro. Yeah. I get it.

Yeah. 97 Russian. When did you know comedy was going to be your thing? Have you always done stand-up? How did you get into this? No. So you ready for this? So I was a physical therapist, right?

I went to school. I got my doctorate degree in physical therapy somehow. You're a doctor? I mean, a doctorate in physical. can massage your elbow you know what i mean doctor it's like i don't know anything about dr de stefano right now yes i have a german doctor no so um i i uh yeah i was a doctorate got my doctorate in physical therapy and i started doing comedy i was a pediatric physical therapist, like mentally and physically handicapped kids. And then I started doing stand-up at night. I went to this place called the Maui Taco in New York City, and I did an open mic there. And then I just got hooked.

And then it got to the point about three years into comedy where I was burning the candle at both ends. And then I got on the show called Guy Code, which was a huge show on MTV, like MTV2 for college kids, and I was working with, like I said, mentally handicapped children, so I was on Guy Code at night, and then doing physical therapy during the day, and the thing is,

with a lot of mentally handicapped children, their mothers are young, because a lot of people think, oh, when you have a kid with a disability, it's like an old mom, and that's true, but also young moms, very, very young moms, not the proper prenatal care and all this and that. So these moms, like 18, 19-year-old moms,

knew me from Geico. So the principal of the school was like, listen, I watch the show, and it's just a conflict. You can't be a physical therapy to children at night and then Geico to hiding your boner on the show you can't do that so she made me choose and then i chose uh to do comedy and i haven't looked back since that was in 2013 so uh and now finally after the last you know i've been doing this whatever nine years now uh just over the last year and a half when i decided to go on the internet do

podcasting put my career in the hands of my fans not some corporation did my whole life change besides indianapolis tonight no no no it'll come together it'll come together tonight but last week when we're talking to tom segura you know tom segura is up there in the upper echelon of comedians all the time number one and i asked him he i said what about the future of comedy and he listed off like four or five names you were one of them so like i think like i think you're the principal like kind of fucking bullied you a little bit right into right now you're calling man so congratulations go ahead aj chris i uh i i got to see you on the wendy williams show a couple months back i thought it was awesome by the way

i loved everything about it like how did you get there man is that the pinnacle of your career what's this guy all about? AJ. I didn't see it, but I'm assuming this is toxic. AJ, here's the thing. Let me tell you guys something about the Wendy Williams show. I created a bit that I was doing. I like to do bits.

I'm Chrissy Fitz. Big bit guy. A big bit guy. That's why I was doing the bit with you, tweeting out, you know. I've seen your bit. Yeah, I tweeted out. I was like, due to my comments about NFL punters, I'm no longer wanted. They're like, my fans are like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I don't know, dude. I was like, due to my comments about NFL punters, I'm no longer wanted. They're like, my fans are like,

what are you talking about? I'm like, I don't know, dude. I'm on crack. So what happened was, AJ. What did you say about NFL punters? Nah, we're in the middle of a good thing. No. So with the Wendy Williams show

is I created this character that I do called Chrissy Daytimes where I just go on these daytime talk shows and purposely try to bomb on the shows because you can go on those shows and then the things that- I'm happy you're not doing that today. No, dude, because this is a real show.

But like you go on that show, the things that get applause breaks are like, you know, when they, you know, some comedian comes on and makes like a point about politics and diversity. He's like, shut the fuck up. We're here to do comedy. So I take big swings and do the jokes,

but those never land on daytime tv because it's like stepmoms and like housewives they're like what is he saying so i just go on those shows and you know you're gonna ball chrissy daytime knows he's walking right into a movie sitting in it on the wendy williams show just eating it and then i ate it on the nick cannon show but but the beautiful thing is guys like segura guys that I respect you know Bert Kreischer all these guys

they'll tweet me or text me like dude great Jim Norton they're like great Chrissy Daytimes that's my favorite because I'm just

because I'm trying to do real comedy and that's like not like nowadays you'll get a comic that comes out and they want to make a political point

and I'm like this is not like I notice sometimes in my peers they'll like get applause breaks on like no joke on a point that would make my fucking skin crawl i'm like this isn't a ted talk hey i'm not a politician i want to do comedy hey there's a real purpose for comedians though like i think society needs comedians and i think there for a bit all comedians were doing the same

exact thing every comedian was doing the same exact thing and it almost got to a point where i feel like it was chapelle and burr yeah whenever they did their netflix specials and they were like all right we will go out here and we will set i don't want to say set the tone but it almost feels like they gave an okay to every other comedian like hey you're allowed to go out there and still do what you gotta do is there any nights you're scared to death about what you're gonna say ever to be honest with you not anymore only because of of putting the career in the hands of my fans like i'm not i don't i'm not beholden to like colgate toothpaste on some tv show i don't care so it's like one of those things with my patreon patreon.com says christy comedy hey good plug right now thank you sir chrissy plugs chrissy comedy.com follow me on the so she's so i um i put my career

in the hands of my fans so it's like listen if i make a joke that's cancelable a joke by a joke that's what i'm saying you wouldn't my fans would know it's a joke some corporation would be like oh you can't say that because of whatever bullshit woke politics they want to get into it that's i'm i'm coming from the heart like in my opinion you can't be funny and hateful like there was no way hitler was funny you know what i mean because he's too hateful but it's like every comedian you see they they're making jokes. They're getting canceled for things that were funny. Listen, sometimes we miss.

But it's like you have to have some section of society that's willing to step up to the line or cross it. So I feel like that's my job. Now, anything I say is in the line of comedy. I'm just making a joke. Because I feel what's happened is over the last few years, and it's happened like right in front of our eyes is you know it used to be actions speak louder than words that's all we would ever hear that's all my mother would say christopher your actions speak louder than your words but now all of a sudden it's words speak louder than actions it doesn't matter what your actions are you say one wrong word yeah and you're going to take my life away it's like dude they

tried to cancel kevin hart my memory remember a couple years ago because hosting the the oscars because of a homophobic tweet. I was like, you think Kevin Hart's a homophobe, dude? He was the lead of the movie Jumanji. That's the gayest thing you could ever do in your life is put on khaki shorts and a fucking safari hat. And so it's like, he's not gay. But, you know, and so I just think of that where I'm like, you know, this whole, and it's just scared. It's like these corporate – they just deal with –

So the thing that happened is the line between humor and hate got disappeared, right? Yeah, yeah. So now everybody, even though it's supposed to be humor, if it goes against what I believe, you're automatically hating on me as opposed to just laughing at people. Is that why you think the entire comedy fraternity – and I don't want to say that because then it's excluding the comedians but do you think that's why the comedy community was so pissed off about the Will Smith Chris Rock thing because comedians have

felt like the people like the people like hate what you're saying and then Will Smith almost put like a face like hey if you don't like what somebody's saying you can go smack them right in the mouth and Will Smith is a pretty influential person you think that's why all the comedians got on our thing? Our thing was like or my thing was like okay so if if if if I say a wrong word if I say if I was a comic if I say a wrong word you'll take my career away

on Twitter but if you go up and slap a comedian you win an Oscar so I was like there's a double standard there where I was like what is the thing like what and also it does give a license to some people to be like oh now I can just go hit somebody because of a joke. It's like, no, you can't. This is what it is. And it's like, listen, I've told people, you want to come up. The thing is with me, I'm all about de-escalation. I'm Chris De-escalations.

Is that all the time or just in certain times of the day? Somebody, usually, well, it depends. It depends at all. At night, tonight, I'm Chrissy Deescalations. You come up onto my stage tonight, you're going to get kissed softly on the lips. That's what's going to happen to you. Or I don't know what, but I'm telling you,

dude, I will fucking put you in a thing. I'll grab your balls. I'll do something because I'm not a fighter. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're a deescalator. I'm a deescalator. And with this whole thing, with the Will Smith, Chris Rock thing,

I was just like, you know. And even the joke. It's like, okay, fine. He made a joke. Yeah, was it the best joke? No, but Chris Rock wasn't intending it to be a home run. It's just like a throwaway thing. Lighten the mood real quick.

Yeah, dude. And people ask me, they're like, what would you do if that happened to you? And I'm like, honestly, dude, you slapped me. If I was in Chris Rock's position and presenting in a fucking award and Will Smith comes up and slaps me on national television, I'd come. That's what I'd go up and do. I'd blow a load right on the back of his suit jacket. Chrissy Crumbs? Go rub that on Jada's head.

Chrissy Crumbs? Jesus. Yeah. What are all the jokes about now? Because I assume COVID is something that has to be a hot topic because your crowd went through the same exact things that you went through right so that's a pretty relatable thing a lot of COVID stuff in the comedian world right now I think right now you know you know it was our obligation to get the COVID material out a lot of comics are just starting to come back over the last few months but you'll see the COVID jokes start waning I mean listen if you're still doing joke you could

do jokes about what your experience was in COVID or whatever but you know if you're still doing jokes, you could do jokes about what your experience was in COVID or whatever. But, you know, if you're still doing jokes about like masks and things like that, it's a little like outdated. It's like kind of like doing comedy about Trump. It's like, dude, we get it. You know, we get it. That was two years ago. We fucking we get it. It's like the material. I think some certain audiences don't care like whatever it is.

But to comics, it's like, you know, we see you doing that stuff and we're like, you're not writing, which is fine. I mean, dude, I got some COVID material you might see tonight in Indianapolis. Whoa, hey,

tickets available, chrisdatecomedy.com. You also might see some Trump material and know you guys like it here in Indianapolis. Oh yeah, that's it,

AJ. I'm with you, brother. What's the deal with your new special? Is your new special going on Netflix or what? So here's what happened.

Okay, so this is true. Unfortunately, I made a special. Okay, I self-produced it. I'm Chrissy Self-Produces, Chrissy Self-Finance. I self-produced it at the Gramercy Theater. I shot it last month and I said, I'm putting this on YouTube. I'm giving it to the people.

I'm putting this on YouTube. The fans gave me everything. I'm giving it to the fans for freebies. And then my agent, who loves money, said, shout out. That's in the name. That's in the name. That's in the name, yeah. He loves money. So he said, listen, this is a good special.

You got shot at. Well, again, all the money out of my own pocket. I said, I'm willing to take the risk here. I said, let me send it around. And then a company got involved and bought it. Now, he told me just 10 minutes ago, he goes, you can't say what company it is yet. Hey, congrats, Amazon. I'll tell you guys. Nice job, Amazon. Let me tell you guys. It's between, he said you can't say what company it is yet because hey congrats to Amazon I'll tell you guys

nice job Amazon let me tell you guys it's between he said you can give them I guess here's the companies that are involved AJ it's between

HBO Amazon Netflix Al Jazeera Disney Plus Hulu Plus and History Vault one of those

man History Vault is making a play what a move all I'm saying is here's what I'll say. All I'm saying is, on May 3rd, get ready to and chill. That's all I'm saying. Hell yeah.

Congratulations, Bob. That's all I'm saying. Baby, the whites are back. Woo! Self edits? Chrissy edits, too? Did you edit? Chrissy edits.

Chrissy everything. Dude, my guy, my producer, shout out to Homeless Pimp, Mike Lavin. The Homeless Pimp, he's my guy on Instagram, at the Homeless Pimp Mike Lavin The Homeless Pimp He's my guy on Instagram At the Homeless Pimp He's become everything man We film everything together He edits my podcast

He edits the Hey Babe podcast He edits Chrissy Chaos He filmed and directed My whole comedy special He's homeless this guy He's a fucking pain I know dude No I

No dude Now he's got a percentage Of Patreon So the kid's making some loot Patreon.com? Yeah, he wears sunflower pants all day. He corduroys. He looks like, listen, he's got autism, and I love him.

The thing is with, here's the thing. Here's what it is. He truly does. He's on the spectrum, and that's what you need. One of you guys, I'm sure some of you guys back here are a little bit of spectrum. You need a Jewish agent, and you need somebody on the spectrum on the ones and twos, and that's how you have a powerful life. It's true. I'm not saying, listen, you know what I mean? I'm on the spectrum on the ones and twos and that's how you have a powerful life it's true i'm not saying listen you know what i mean i'm on the spectrum a little bit so is chris rock by the way if you notice he never makes eye contact with people a little bit

because i used to work with children on the spectrum when i was a pediatric physical therapist so i noticed when i see chris rock i'm like oh he's a little bit just a little bit on the spectrum so i'm like will smith hit a disabled man way to go you piece of shit talked about that's not getting talked about. That's not getting talked about. That's not getting talked about, dude. That's not getting talked about. Piece of garbage, dude. What is your,

I assume you're running back and forth on the stage when you do shows and you're not standing still. Is this a, are you a mover and a groover up there? I move. I usually like to move around a little bit. I'm in and out of the crowd.

I got my material, but I, here's how I feel. I feel if you're coming to a live show, then I got to give you a live show. Oh, Chrissy Crowdwork. Chrissy, yeah, but Chrissy Crowdwork, but to a point.

Listen, people are paying money. You know what I mean? It's a theater. So I'm like, I got to give them my material. But I got to keep them. It's not a Broadway show. You know what I mean? I want to interact with you guys a little bit.

I like to just be on my toes. I'm Chrissy Twinkle Toes when I'm up there. Really? Dude, and I'm telling you, I told you, Pat, my app, my opener tonight, or my guy I work with, I don't like saying opener. I feel like that can be, you know. My guy who I work with, Sergio, shout out Sergio Chacon. Hey, shout out.

Shout out. Sergio Chacon, Puerto Rican guy from Lower East Side, used to beat up drug dealers for money. Hell yeah. Now he works with me. So, which he probably makes more money beating up the drug dealers, but what can you do? That's it. Well, pick up the pace, Indianapolis.

This kid will get paid. Why not? Because he's not. So he missed his flight tonight. So he's not coming to the show. So I have nobody to work with. So if you're a comic out there in Indianapolis area, tweet me at Christy Comedy or DM me on the Grams, on the socials.

And I'll come on, you know, whatever. If I like it. I mean, just whatever. Message me. Maybe you'll come on the show tonight at the Egyptian Room Old Old National Center, and also bring 500 people because we got some seats open. I wish I could do that. I'll be in Milwaukee. But there will be a lot of local comedians, I assume, hitting you up.

Please. There's a good comedy scene here. No, I know, man. Indianapolis, there was a guy I knew here, Sean Latham, the $20 chef. That's my boy. The first time I came to Indianapolis, I performed at Morty's, which is above a taco joint. Oh, yeah. We know Morty's.

Shout out Morty's, man. Somehow I'm selling less tickets at the old National Center. Morty's had those quesadillas. Oh, my God. To Panera, though. That's really cheesesteak in the greater metro area. But, dude, when I came, I mean, the Indianapolis kids were great. Ty worked there. I did. You used to work there? Yeah. At Morty's? Yeah, for a came, I mean, the Indianapolis kids were great. Ty worked there.

I did. Did you used to work there? Yeah. At Morty's? Yeah, for a little bit. Yeah, the guy that ran that, I forgot what his name was. He was a monster maniac.

Well, a couple of them. Yeah. I don't know who it was, but it was fun. Listen, that's one of those things. Bill's dad. Does your dad own Morty's? One of them, yeah.

There's multiple. What happened to it? Well, you saw how... It's a Chick-fil-A. Yeah. They were having a good time there. Yeah, that's multiple. What happened to it? Well, you saw how. It's a Chick-fil-A. Yeah. They were having a good time there. Yeah, that was that hotel that they kept you at,

which was across the street from the mall. There was a human tooth in the sink when I went in there. I swear to God, I remember that. Someone probably got murdered there. Yeah, and I remember it. And then I was supposed to do the Bob and Tom show, and that owner of the club just never picked me up. And then I was just waiting in the parking lot. He never picked me up. I was just waiting in the parking lot and he never picked me up and I had to take an Uber

there. They didn't mean to. And he didn't even apologize. He was like, yeah, I forgot. I was like, I was like, welcome to Indianapolis. Dude, it was wild.

I forgot what that, that guy's definitely dead. There's no way that guy's alive. That guy's alive? What was his name, Boozer or, his name was something dumb. Bounce Bonkers? Oh, no. Dude, that kid, that kid was, that guy was wild. His godfather.

I think it was Bowser. They all had great intentions. They all had great intentions. They're all good people. No, no, no. Listen, all good people. Bowser is a good guy. No, they had good energy, but I was like, yeah, dude, don't come back here.

Bill was actually the manager of that place. He was. Were you? Yeah, Bill kept that place afloat. Yeah. He was not Bowser. His name's Bowers. He's a good guy.

He was one of the first people I thought of when COVID hit. I said, this guy's not going to make it. But he made it through, dude. So see, it's not real then. He's getting in good shape. He's actually lost weight. Oh, good for him. Nice, dude.

He got lost a little weight. There's actually lost weight. Oh, did he? Oh, good for him. Nice, dude. Yeah, he got lost a little weight. There's some things that are just for us. Yeah. No, for us. A lot of them. Well, you know what I mean? You go a little inside baseball once in a while. Yeah.

What it is. Chrissy inside baseball. Chrissy inside baseball, baby. Are you a baseball fan now? Yeah, Yankees. Here we go. Yikes. And it stinks.

You guys can't even get a deal down there. I know. What's the deal? You guys are dead. Dude, the Yankees are, I mean, yeah, the last couple of years has just been upsetting. And the Mets now, you know, on paper, they look good. And now it's just like everybody gets hurt.

Dude, you know what's crazy about comedy too is diehard Yankee fan, my father's from the Bronx. So Yankees, but I did a private gig last summer for Steve Cohen. I heard those are terrible. Are they terrible, those private gigs? Dude, first of all, yesterday I did a private gig in a movie theater in. I heard those are terrible. Are they terrible, those private gigs? Dude, first of all,

yesterday I did a private gig in a movie theater in Levittown, Long Island. The day before, I found out I just got a comedy special bought and then the next day I'm in a fucking movie theater

in a parking lot in Levittown, Long Island. I had to follow a bald eagle. They did the color guard and then they had a bald eagle flyer. Oh, did it land? Did the eagle land or not? Eagle landed.

It was sick. People were going crazy. Patriots. And then I come up there doing comedy. The bald eagle got paid twice as much as me, 100%. Hey, not all eagles can land. There's a lot of intent and don't make the mission.

No, dude. This one landed. Yeah. And so I did this corporate gig last summer for Steve Cohen. And the gig, I get there, and it was literally, it was like 10 guys. You know, Steve Cohen's a billionaire, right? And and it was literally it was like 10 guys you know steve cohen's a billionaire right his billionaire friends it's like 10 guys they don't know there's comedy his like wife or manager whatever put it together they have no idea there's comedy going on it's like his 60th birthday party the last thing they want if like if you're going to

do comedy for billionaires it better be jerry seinfeld or just have strippers like they want some 36 year old idiot comedian that has a podcast. They don't know what the hell is going on. No microphone, nothing. They're standing. They just tell me, the guy who runs the event tells me to stand at the end of the table. I'm like, okay, no microphone, nothing. Now I just have to start talking like, hey, I'm the comedian.

Steve's like, what? They were eating crab cakes, right? Tommy Mottola, who was... Hey! Tommy Mottola. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He, Mottola Big record guy He was Mariah Carey's Ex-husband

They're eating crab cakes And somehow All of a sudden I'm doing jokes And a crab cake hits me right in the chest I get up and I'm like holy shit Did somebody just nail me with a crab cake Tommy Mottola is dying laughing So I try to make a part of the show

I'm like Tommy that's so funny. I said, I'm such a, I said, I was such a fan of your ex-wife. I had her poster up in my locker in school. And he was like, yeah, were you also a fan of cock? I was like, no. And then that killed.

And then I was just like, and then so I start doing bits and then Steve Cohen goes, you know, here's the thing with these corporate gigs is they suck. They really do suck,

but you make serious money. I've heard nothing but terrible things about these things aside from the money. Corporate gigs and college gigs are the same thing.

Survive in advance. It's the same thing. You just survive in advance, baby. It's like, get the money, get home, swallow your pride, just do it,

get home. Because the real comedy is like the theaters tonight or the comedy clubs. That's the art or whatever. But this is like, in advance baby it's like get the money get home swallow your pride just do it get home because the real comedy is like the theaters tonight or the comedy clubs that's the art or whatever but this is like you just got to make money so i'm doing i do the gig i'm doing the in the middle of it and then steve cuts me off they're serving dinner like i'm not going to be funnier than fucking a hundred dollar grand pigs and i can't compete with this so steve stops me in the middle he goes how long did my wife tell you to do

how long did you get booked for I said 30 minutes he goes I'll double your pay to do half that right he goes I'm going to double it

right now he goes but the half he stops the show he goes but you got to make me laugh he goes you got to make me laugh

at least a couple of times the next 10 minutes and he just goes go and so then I just stick it. And now I'm doing my Letterman set. Then I just go in and I'm doing David Letterman set. I'm doing just a material.

And I got him to laugh a few times. And dude, right then and there, just gave me a check for double that. Gave it to me. I was like, OK. And then I got paid from whatever the corporation is supposed to pay me. So I'm honest. I was like, hey. And Steve's people, like he said, just keep it. he doesn't remember paying you just like just do it and then his son

shout out josh cohen uh was at the event and messages me he goes dude like we i had so much fun because i didn't realize i had signed an nda saying i would never speak about the steve cohen gig i didn't know that i even signed that you know you just signed shit i'm like yeah whatever the very next day on the podcast i immediately start talking about the ste Cohen gig. I didn't know that I even signed it. You know, you just sign shit. I'm like, yeah, whatever. The very next day on the podcast, I immediately start talking about the Steve Cohen thing. Naming names, crab cakes, Tommy Mottola. I'm going bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And then they hear it.

And then all of a sudden, I get frantic calls from my agent. They're like, delete the podcast, delete podcast. I'm like, I'm not deleting the podcast. What are you talking about? They're like, you signed an NDA. Steve Cohen's lawyers are on the phone. They're going to sue your balls off. You're mentioning this stuff I'm like I didn't know I thought like

I'm doing a podcast I talk about my life and then I'm like shit sweating I'm like should I delete it I'm like fuck that I'm not deleting it I'm not going to lose this hello fresh money so I said so I said I'm not deleting it and then I go to my Instagram and I have DMs from Steve Cohen's wife, Steve Cohen's daughter, and Steve Cohen's son. All with, dude, we just heard the podcast. Hilarious. We're listening to it. We're dying. My dad's dying.

We love it. Come out to a Mets game. So I screenshot that and send it to my agent. I'm like, what are you talking about? These people love it. They backed off immediately. The lawyers just were like, they heard violation of contract. Steve had no idea.

And then I go to- So let's go Mets. Let's go Mets. Yeah. How about this? Then I got this on my Instagram. They invite me to the Metsion. Steve had no idea. And then I go to... So let's go Mets. Let's go Mets. How about this? I got this on my Instagram. They invite me to the Mets game. Is that cool there? They are cool.

They invite me to the Mets game like two weeks later. It's a rain delay. So Steve Cohen goes, get up and start doing comedy. They put me on the Jumbotron. I was wearing a flowered shirt. Nothing worse than bombing in a Tommy Bahama shirt to 10,000 angry Mets fans. They're like, dude, I want to see DeGrom, not this fucking idiot. And it's just bombing hard.

But Steve's dying laughing, dying laughing. And then we've maintained a relationship. Dude, his son is like a legitimate friend of mine. Hey, let's go Mets. Let's go Mets, baby. Come on, Mets. Dude, I went to high school with Mike Baxter, the guy that saved Johan Santana's no-hitter. Hey, let's go Mets, baby. Come on, Mets. Dude, I went to high school with Mike Baxter, the guy that saved Johan Santana's no-hitter. Hey, let's go Mets.

I went to high school with Mike Baxter and the cannibal cop is another guy I went to high school with. I don't know if it's Google story. There was this cop in New York that he was saying that he was using his NYPD database to track and want to eat women, but it was all just a big joke. So he's fucking bits.

That was my homegirl. That guy's doing bits. A lot of bits. A lot of bits. Chrissy Cannibal, baby. All right. Let's get to a break. I want to eat you, AJ.

Oh, geez. We'll be back in four minutes. All right? With more Chrissy chaos. I mean, absolutely electrifying. Yeah. Lightning rod. Thank you, bubs.

You always like this? You do a lot of drugs? No drugs? Zero drugs in my life. Alcohol? Not in the last 18 days. I've been sober the last 18 days. A lot of iced coffee. I've been fucking lighting up cold brews like a can of magic, dude.

Y'all, dude, I'm going to shit myself. What is that? Iced tea? What is that? That's what my piss looks like. No, wow. It's green tea. Ooh, a little green tea. Get this guy a water. You need to stay hydrated, man. Go to the doctor. Ooh, a little green tea. Nice. Get this guy a water. Get this guy a water. Yeah. Healthy, man.

And also, you need to stay hydrated, man, if this is what your fucking piss looks like. You hear me? Mix in a couple of these, Chrissy. Whoa. Chrissy dehydrated, dude. I know, dude. Shouldn't be pissing orange. Just real quick.

Do you and AJ know each other? You and AJ? I've never met AJ. I mean, you know, fan, you know, you've lost my father some money and won my father some money. He's a gambling addict. Chris, I did have a have a question yes did you have supportive parents growing up and are they supportive now my parent uh yes well my parents my mother with comedy not so much my father yes my father just supported anything so the story of my mom and dad my father truthfully

true story was a criminal like in and out of prison my whole life. I told you his nickname was Tony Balls. And then my mother was an Ivy League graduate. So my mother was like a very intelligent woman. And your dad could talk. That's what, they met at a walk-a-thon. Yes, your dad could talk. Yes, so my dad, they met. Just true story.

My mother was walking in the walk-a-thon, raising money, I think, for like breast cancer or something. And my father was doing community service on the side of the walk-a-thon like prison release community service and they started talking next thing you know they hook up and then they have me and so you know my mother's being educated ivy lee graduate she was like go get school she was so happy that i graduate school whatever but my dad like always wanted to be like shortstop for the yankees so when i was like i wanted to do shortstop for the Yankees. So when I was like, I wanted to do comm, but the only problem was he was in federal prison

in his prime years. That was the only issue. He used a baseball bat. Man, he was a talker, though. Could you imagine how good of a talker your dad is? Tony, first of all, my pops, here's the thing with my dad, is truthfully, like a great guy.

But nowadays, forget it. His political opinions and the way he talks, he'd be like, what a nightmare, that guy. He's truthfully like a great guy. But nowadays, forget it. His political opinions and the way he talks, you'd be like, what a nightmare, that guy. He's toxic. It's like my father's one of the, he's got a good heart, you know what I mean? Right intention, wrong move. Like for example, here's a,

like in 2012 when Hurricane Sandy hit Staten Island, New York, it ravaged New York. My father was taking in a family. My father took in a Latino family that lived down by the water. It's a pretty Latino neighborhood down there that got ravaged. My father took them in,

got a Penske truck and was like, moved them in, was taking the kids back and forth to school. The father of the family, his name was Juan. My dad was calling them Jose. And it's just like, whatever, you know, but some, you know, woke kid was like,

how could you say that? You know, my dad would be like, oh, don't steal the silverware, like doing old dad hat jokes. But he's paying for their college and, you know, taking them in. So he's just a misunderstood, like, here's what I learned from my father. Like, this is a true story. This is what, and my father's literally scared of no one, which is a really cool thing to see. Because he, I mean, first of all, now, I mean, he's on dialysis.

He's like 75 years old on dialysis fat as shit but he could think he would think he'd come in here and be like i'll fucking beat the shit out of all of you you know which he can barely move but like my parents got divorced when i was one rightfully so my mother made a great choice ivy league she was like this is not tony balls. No. I graduated from Dartmouth, sweetie. So, yeah. So my dad was always very kind to my mom, even though divorced. And my mother, when I was 15, started dating this guy. And she really loved him or whatever.

And then he dumped her and started dating a woman who lived directly across the street from my house. Oh, no. This son of a bitch. Like that house. Yeah, piece of shit, right? So my mother, being all upset, would like sit at the window and like cry, like wait, like she'd be like heartbroken.

Is he going to, is that guy going to go in there or whatever? So my father would come and pick me up every Saturday with our basketball game or a baseball game. He'd come pick me up. He'd come and, great dad, oh, never missed a weekend seeing me. And I'm playing video games in my room, just like an idiot. And my mother's crying and my dad. Oh never missed a weekend seeing me and I'm playing video games in my room

Just like an idiot and um, and my mother's crying and my dad walks in he goes what's up Lynn? And then she goes no nothing Tony, whatever nothing and he goes, okay, and then he comes to me He goes what's going on with your mother? Why is she crying? I was like that guy fucking John dumped her and his date and the woman across the street He was like you gonna do something about that. I was like, I'm 15 years old. I have psoriasis What do you mean what am I gonna do about that? I was like, I'm 15 years old. I have psoriasis. What do you mean, what am I going to do about that? He goes,

you're just going to let your mother cry like that? I was like, what do you want me to do? He goes, I'll be right back. Don't come outside. Swear to God. So I was like,

okay. So I was like, I'm going to wait two minutes and then immediately come outside. I go outside. All of a sudden, I'm like waiting. And then a minute later,

I hear my mother screaming. She opened up the window. She goes, Tony, Tony, stop. You're going to kill him. My dad was beating the shit out of the guy out he had rang the bell 100 true story had rang the bell this guy had come outside and he just starts beating his ass and i run down the stairs and i'm standing up top stairs my father's walking back with like blood on his hands and chest like i felt like karen fromfellas. You know when she's like, hide the gun! I was like, ah!

And then he goes up, he goes, that was your job! I was like, what are you talking about? I'm 50 years old, I'm scared of ghosts! I'm the only one that beat up a grown man. And then we were driving to my game, sitting in traffic, three hours later,

and then it was always the same thing, right intention, wrong move, because he was like, you know, Chris, you know that was wrong of me. I shouldn't have done that, right? I was like, yeah, I know, mom knows, Chris, you know that was wrong of me. I shouldn't have done that, right? I was like, yeah, I know. Mom knows the police now.

I was like, we all know you shouldn't have done that. And he goes, yeah, well, I'm just saying, like, instead of playing video games, go comfort your mother. That's what men do. And I was like, okay. And then when I. Tony Ball. Yeah, legend. Dude. And he's taught me so fucking much.

Because now my situation. I have two girls. I have two daughters. And me and her mom, we were split up. Then we got back together, had our second kid. Puerto Ricans, baby. Love it. I got two Puerto Rican kids.

But when we broke up, my father, he was like, Adam, and he was like, listen, I don't care what happened between you two. The children are your responsibility always, which of course I knew he goes, but more so that's the mother of your kids forever. So you always respect her, never talk bad about her. And I don't care what she says to you. I don't care if she calls you names. I don't care if she sues you. I don't give a fuck.

You stand there and you'd be the example. And I was like, okay. And he showed me that, you know, he was like always just a great example of like what a co-parent is. But, you know, he's got a criminal record and you know, not, you know he's got a criminal record and you know not you know quick follow-up yeah would you beat up the neighbor across the street here in a little

bit because uh you know if something was to happen are you back you're back with the let's just say i de-escalate is what i do give me a kiss start jerking them off we We got to calm down. Yeah, we're back. So what happened was, we had our child. It's a crazy story, right? So we met at this bar. Congrats, by the way. Two kids. You got kids?

No, not yet. Kids, kids, yeah. So we got two beautiful kids, two beautiful girls. My sperm's gay. And I'm only going to make girls. That's what it is. I'm only going to make girls.

Two. He's only had two kids. Two babies. There's people that have like eight. You never know. It's going to make girls. That's what it is. I'm only going to make girls. Two. He's only had two kids. Two babies. There's people that have like eight. You never know. It's going to be girls. I'm telling you. I just know.

That's a good thing, though. Yeah. Dude, I love your girl, Dad. Pussy power. Don't take a stand. I like every time I say something offensive, AJ just looks away. He's like, no.

Pacificate screenshot. And AJ was like, no. He's just, no. Pacificate screenshot and AJ was like, I don't know. I assume your dad, does your dad get offended by some of these comics that may work blue these days? No. Do you think my dad

doesn't get offended by anything? Are you kidding me? Tony Bowles, dude. My dad's the only one clapping it up. He's like, that's my fucking kid. Dude, here's,

let me tell you more. More of that. Let me tell you who my father is okay when i graduated from uh get my doctorate degree in physical therapy real i mean you know prim and proper ceremony these people get in doctorates you know nice prestigious school nyit in in long island yeah so it's nice nice thing right all you know chuck schumer senator chuck schumer new york is giving the speech and then they have they had a priest come up and say some words.

They had a Jewish rabbi come up and say some words. And then they had a Muslim, what do you call a Muslim priest? Like a Muslim, what is it? Oh, God, five white guys trying to figure this out. An imam. An imam. So an imam comes up and he's giving a speech in Arabic, right? And it's dead silent, whatever.

And everyone's just listening, as they did to the priest and the rabbi. And then all of a sudden, from the back row, there must have been 1,000 people there. He says his prayer in Arabic, and then there's a pause when it's over. And my dad just yells, Hakuna Matata! Oh! And everybody turned around except me. I faced forward because I knew that was my fucking dad. I got a punchline for this.

Tiny balls. That's awesome. Yeah. No, because AJ has that. So he's, that's the kind of guy is again, mortifying, but he thought it was fun. And then, I mean, my mother's screaming at him, you know, his wife screaming at him, but I was like kind of giggling. AJ, great question thank

you thank you so much for that uh do you watch sports a lot of sports yeah you you like the yankees obviously but you're friends with the mets how about football you giants giants yeah it's really bad yeah it's really bad where it's like you know literally the last couple our season's been over in late september every time we're just like, yeah, it's done. And listen, I'm always, I love the teams. I'll always support. Yeah. But it is the last couple.

It's been getting hard because it's like, you know, New York used to be the thing. Like, you know, you want to play in New York. An athlete wants to play in New York. But now I feel like it doesn't matter. Now it's like, why do I want to pay the New York taxes? Why do I want to? I just feel like it doesn't. Hey, is New York dead?

No. Well, listen, New York taxes? Why do I want to? I just feel like it doesn't pay New York dead. No. Well, listen, New York. Why? Why do people want to move and live in a tiny little box and walk in shitty subways when you can go and afford a much larger place and a much better weather is is New York City, the allure of New York City dead, do you think? For me, I'm going to say no, but it's my home. will say bill de blasio who was the old mayor ruined new york i mean this guy i mean literally at the same time he was leaving being a mayor is when the russia ukraine war started and that the mayor klitschko of kiev was out there with an ak-47 like defending his city i was like dude if that was bill de blasio he'd be on his knees sucking putin's cock like this guy was the biggest pussy of all time and he made our city go to shit but now eric adams is in

there who's a former nypd guy and his whole thing is a black guy too which is amazing great for new york city he's like i'm my goal is to get new york city back to the way it was so he supports the police they support him because the bottom line is yes things need to change of course there's always about reform and all this but the defunding is like you can't do that in new york city we need police and the communities that get the most ravaged support the police and a lot of the communities that get the get get in the most trouble are the you know african latino communities they're like fucking getting that's where the crime's happening and we're like and we're saying defund and they're like no we don't want to defund we We want the police presence. So Eric Adams has been very vocal about that.

Be like, we're going to get our neighborhoods back again. So New York is getting a lot better. And I'm telling you, dude, New York, we're already back, but it's like coming. It's going to be good. He gave a speech on election night.

Did he? Yeah, it was awesome. Electrifying. Yeah, well, I think, no, a lot of people outside were looking in because I love going to New York City. I enjoy it. I can never live there. I can can never live there but i enjoy going there and seeing it and it feels like i don't want to say similar to la because la seems dead yeah all together but new york you go it's like man it's the same but it's not it's like new york has to

remain something yeah i think that it is true and and the taxes are like insane like you do price like now eric adams he's been saying like oh we want florida half the city moved to florida and it's like i get it like what do you want to go why would you want to live in new york florida's got you know no state income tax you know they they're they seem like normal people like down like new york got a little crazy like especially with the pandemic and all that it got a little nuts it was like now we're not even being logical like why are there masks on two-year-olds like what's going on but now but it's all changing a little bit just a little bit it's changing jesus yeah well the mask conversation just oh yeah he's got the cowboy all fine i ain't wearing a fucking mask never dude

yeah he knocked out by the way if he had to yeah i was in New York. I am a spineless person. I was in New York, what was that, three weeks ago? Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Damn. Yeah, I'm Brooklyn two weeks ago. That feels like two years ago. I was in Brooklyn two weeks ago, and I hadn't Ubered in a long time.

I haven't gone anywhere where I've needed to Uber. So I had to wear a mask in the Uber. So I took a pillowcase from my hotel room and tied it around my head. And I used that as a mask and i was able to get into the thing i was like do you not think i'm a crazy person getting into your uber right now like this is it was wild that it was still happening but i guess that's happening everywhere no dude they they i'm telling you man that new york is it now the logic is coming back just a little bit now i took an uber in the you know to the jfk airport this morning no no mask like no person wasn't letting me in like i believe it like it was like almost

very angry at me i'm like all right so i turn around walk back inside go to my room grab a pillowcase he's like yeah now you're allowed in my i'm like i look like a fucking maniac why would you let me in here i know uh let's's talk a little bit more about your stand-up. What's the pre-show routine? You drink at all? No, you said you haven't drank in 18 days. I haven't drank, yeah. Normally, no.

What's my pre-show routine? Nap, super energy. You got to be super energized up there. Super energized. Jerk off into a bag of Fritos. Watch a little sports center. A little zesty shows. A little zesty shows, yeah.

You rub one out, you got to get the energy down a little bit. I usually zesty shows Yeah you know You rub one out You got to get the energy down A little bit I usually like to walk to the venue No matter how far it is I like to just walk And then I'll you know Take an Uber back

Or walk back If it's a nice area Go listen to the set From the night before A little bit And I personally Like I like to just go up there I only know

How I'm going to start and end And everybody's different some of my peers they were have they know everything that's gonna happen that they know what they're gonna say at minute 32 not me my brain i'm like i need to be in the on my toes so i'm like hey we're gonna start here's how we're gonna end and then in the middle i figure it out man it's like a dry cleaner thing i'm just picking jokes off hey that's awesome yeah ty are there like younger comedians that are really coming up right now? Because I know we asked that and you're, I guess, considered

an up-and-comer, if you will, but you're not 25. Is that still desirable for young people to try to actually break into comedy? I would say, man, getting into stand-up now, it's very difficult, I would say, because

listen, I have no choice choice i've been doing it 10 years now my whole family you know i have i have to come up here every night with a suitcase full of anxiety and depression and figure it out you know what i mean my girl wants to be a spin instructor so i'm like that's great honey but you know that it better start shitting out bitcoin because we're behind on the mortgage so i got to go to indianapolis you know what i'm saying so great city love indianapolis shout out come to the show tonight bring your yeah bring your entire school yeah um so so I think now because what what's happened now with comedy is you know it's very fractionalized like it it's it's it's all broken up into like these different fractions where it used to be you get on a tv show you

get a sitcom get in a movie that's the route that is not the route anymore now it's like sitcoms are fine, but it's like nobody's going to see it. You're not going to make any money. That's just what it is. It's podcasting. It's the internet. It's getting on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, all these things. Giving away a lot of material too, right? Giving away a lot of material and the money.

You make the money up on podcast ads, Patreon, ticket sales. Tickets, merch. That merch, all that so you know but i think that there still is some of my peers think that there's still the old route works and it's like it's all smoke and mirrors like i can tell you like oh i just got on this tv show and it's like nobody cares nobody sees it they see this they see this show they'll see podcasts oh come on dude the hundred percent they are they see on a I guarantee you, dude. I guarantee you when I get back to the hotel,

my grinder's going to be lit up because they saw me on the show. So, so, so. Well, I'm happy we can be a part of this. Yeah, let's go. But I think that, I think it's beautiful.

And I think that now it's like you got to really, really, really be like your own company. Like I've, you know. That's the whole world, by the way, not just comedy.

Yeah, it used to go like, oh, I have a meeting with a production company it's like for what dude my homeless my guy homeless pimp is a fucking walking production company edits he films he if i have an idea i put it on the internet let the people decide yeah that's where the money comes second that's one thing that i i went into comedy in when i first started in 2009 i had mono in eighth grade and my mother had gout in her toe we were really sexy yeah she had gout in her toe so we were like laid up on the couch the both of us and I remember watching Oprah because my mother used to watch and like I said I'm in the closet so I were watching Oprah and I remember she said Oprah to one of her guests she goes you know the money comes second the passion's first the money's second and I see a lot of my peers chasing the money and I'm like

that shit will always come second. So I'm just, you know, like, look, dude, I came, you know, when I came to Indianapolis, Morty, shout out Bowsers. When I came to Morty's, you know, I knew I was going to make any money, but I wanted the opportunity. I wanted to try to get my jokes out. And like now the money's coming in for me, but it's taken 10 years. But I'm happy about it because my peers who get slingshot off some viral TikTok or

whatever, stand-up is the ultimate equalizer. Jerry Seinfeld himself only gets five minutes to be Jerry Seinfeld. After that, it wears off. They get comfortable with the ideas. Now you better be funny. You can bomb. At the Comedy Cell in New York City, you'll see the greats of the greats go down in flames trying new material because the crowd eventually doesn't care. So you can get away with it once, maybe maybe even twice but the third time an audience comes to see you you're doing the same stuff you're bombing it's not you're not comfortable the tickets go less and less and you see it you see it all the time so backbone is my stand-up and that's what i'm happy about and that's why i think for me respect for my peers like a guy like segura

means more than money because it's like i know one time somebody said something to me which was like the greatest compliment of all time he was like i think that you're a guy and he was he this guy's a very well-known community goes i think that you're a guy who you'd be funny and you'd make it in any era not just an internet that's a huge and i was like that's a huge one his name is jerry seinfeld what can you do that's a true story i swear to god no this is true did he hug you i know he's not big on the and his name was Jerry Seinfeld. What can you do? Damn. Oh, hey, Jerry Seinfeld. That's a true story. I swear to God. No, this is true.

Did he hug you? I know he's not big on the touching. No, here's what happened. April, no, dude, are you kidding me? I would have fucking blown a load. That's the last gay joke. I apologize. April of 2020, I get a call from a random number,

random number. I didn't know who the hell it was. And I pick it up. And he's like, hey, is this Chris? I go, yeah. He goes, it's Jerry. And I was like, Jerry who? And he goes, Jerry Seinfeld.

I thought it was Pete Davidson. You know, we're friends. Did he say you got time to get some coffee? No. I've seen this a hundred times. Oh, yeah. So what happened was, again, April 2020, pandemic had hit. And so he goes, it's Jerry Seinfeld. I said, Pete, shut up.

I thought it was genuinely him doing impersonation. And he goes, who's Pete? I was like, this isn't PDD. And he was goes, it's Jerry Seinfeld. I said, Pete, shut up. I thought it was genuinely him doing impersonation. And he goes, who's Pete? I was like, this isn't PDD. And he was like, no. He goes, I got your number. This is Jerry Seinfeld. I got your number from Colin Quinn. Now, Colin Quinn is New York City legend, took me under his wing when I first started,

was a mentor to me and still is. And he gave Jerry my number because Jerry Seinfeld's, I think, kid had something that I did went viral. It's called Chris DiStefano's 9-11 story. I went on stage at the Comedy Cellar on 9-11 in like 2019, drunk off my ass, and just did a set that, what happened was, is everybody was going up and bombing on 9-11 at the Comedy Cellar, because I felt like nobody's calling in the elephant out in the room. It's right at the Comedy Cellar, 9-11, greatest tragedy in American history,

happened five minutes from here. Nobody's addressing it. So I just went up there, and I was just like, listen, I'm not eating hummus today. I'm not going to have hummus, not today. And it got like a big laugh. It broke the room open. And then I said, you know what?

I'm going to tell you what happened to me on 9-11. And then I tell this story and it went viral and seinfeld's kids saw it and then jerry told me he goes um he goes listen that he goes i i wish i was doing comedians and cars getting coffee he goes because you'd be a great guest he goes but unfortunately the show's over and i was like well bring it back just for me he goes no so and then he says to me he goes listen he goes i know with comedy it's very difficult to know if you're going the right way the wrong way he goes just look at me he goes you know i've had a pretty successful career i was like i'd say so he goes um just look

at me as a guy like like a sign that says keep going this way he's like you're going the right way up the mountain just keep following whatever you're doing keep doing it because you have he told he's a big baseball fan he goes you're a five tool player i was like whoa like a little mike trout and he was like i think you have the five tools he goes but you know you should clean it up a little bit stop with the gay stuff stop but not not these he was like stop with not everything has to be a gay joke after the hundredth gay joke i've done today because not everything has to be that but i get it he goes we all have things we do because to him I'm still early in my career I've been doing it 10 years but to him he's like you're still a rookie dude like they say you don't find your voice till 15 years in comedy that's why most of the comedians you've ever heard of Bill Burr, Louis CK, 40s you start

hearing about these guys in their 40s so I'm at 37 now so I'm hoping by the time in my 40s I'm like at those guys level or somewhere close. And so when Seinfeld called me, that was one of those moments where I was like, oh, shit. OK, like I got like a lot of confidence. And that and really was after that where I was like, anything I do, I'm going in with confidence. I'm not going to worry about what my peers think or whatever. I'm going for the fans. And, you know, since then, man, really like my whole everything has changed for me. So it's cool.

Hey, it's an honor to hear that story. And we're very thankful that you stopped in here. I hope you crush it tonight in Indianapolis. Tickets still available at chrisdcomedy.com. Oh, are they available? There's numerous. There's numerous. But who knows, man?

You get an aisle? You maybe help me out. Maybe they're not. I'm telling you, dude. Let's see. How many? How many are open? Like, for real?

For real? I think the venue holds, what did I say, 1,200, 1,300? I've sold 700. So 500 probably available. That's not bad. Denver tomorrow. Denver tomorrow, I think there's 1,900 tickets. There's like 1,700 sold.

So Denver, you're going to have to get on Denver. Those are going to sell out. Indianapolis will be a big, oh, what are we doing tonight? Oh, Chris and Dan. Chrisy D's here, baby. Indianapolis is a big one of on Denver. Those are going to sell out. Indianapolis will be a big, oh, what are we doing tonight? Oh, listen. Christy D's here, baby. Indianapolis is a big one of those towns. And I may have no opener. I may just be coming out and doing 90 minutes just me,

unless somebody tweets me or DMs me. AJ Hawk can make it. AJ, you can drive. Where does AJ live? Ohio. What part of Ohio? I live in Columbus. Columbus. Dude, I was just in Columbus at the end of December at one of the theaters there.

What was the, wherever theater it was. The Palace at the end of December. Did you go? One of the theaters there. Wherever theater it was. The Palace? Yes, the Palace. And we stayed in the hotel. And dude, Columbus gets wild. I like that. Dance floor's there. Oh, yeah.

Real wild in Columbus. Oh, yeah. We got to get out of here. AJ, great show. Thank you. Chrissy D., I can't wait to hear how your weekend in Indian Denver go. Hopefully, I'll drop dead. Don't say that. You're on the right way. drop dead you're on the right way sorry jerry yeah yeah stay alive geez yeah tone digs great work on t4 both episodes today talks

the table appreciate you all the boys in the back thank you so much for this week to coach vrabel who stopped by yesterday and was electrifying i appreciate that dana white, Chris DiStefano, Bobby Wagner, all the guests we had this week. You all are the best. Use the hashtag PMSFeelGoodFridayChaos. Okay? For old Chrissy Chaos. Use it, baby. Yeah, hashtag PMSFeelGoodFridayChaos.

Take a screenshot right now. Tweet that. Say something nice to somebody. We'll give away another Bitcoin. Yeah, to wrap up this beautiful week, we can't thank you all enough for watching and allowing this to be our profession. You're the greatest humans of all time.

We'll see you Monday. Cheers. សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា Outro Music so The name Is A Named By The Name Of The Name Of The Name Of

The Name Of The Name Of The Name

Of The Name Of The Name Of The

Name Of The Name Of The Name Of

The Name Of The Name Of The Name

Of The Name Of The Name Of The Name Of The Name សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Outro Music Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh The name Qamal means a man of the earth. Religion សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា Thank you.