The Paul Wells Show - Encore: k.d. lang's brilliant career
Episode Date: May 14, 2025k.d. lang reflects on her four decade-long musical career, which may have reached its end. “All music tends towards silence and I have to honour the silence,” she tells Paul in an open and wide-ra...nging conversation in Calgary. We originally released this episode in March, 2023.
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                                         Hi, it's Paul Wells.
                                         
                                         This is an episode of the Paul Wells show that
                                         
                                         you might not have heard before because we put
                                         
                                         it out before the show became the runaway hit
                                         
                                         that you know and love.
                                         
                                         Hope you enjoy it again or for the first time.
                                         
                                         One of the greatest performing artists
                                         
                                         Canada has ever produced.
                                         
    
                                         It is an honour this week to bring you my conversation with Katie Lang.
                                         
                                         I know who I am, but I don't know anything about my career.
                                         
                                         I don't know anything about the art that I've produced.
                                         
                                         I can make guesses, but I don't know.
                                         
                                         I'm Paul Wells.
                                         
                                         Welcome to the Paul Wells show.
                                         
                                         I'll tell you the truth.
                                         
                                         I'm not sure how this week's interview came to happen.
                                         
    
                                         As you'll hear, Katie Lang doesn't have a new album or a tour to promote.
                                         
                                         My friends have been asking me, Katie Lang,
                                         
                                         how did you get her?
                                         
                                         The only answer I have is we asked.
                                         
                                         Why I wanted to talk to Katie Lang is an easier question.
                                         
                                         There's almost no bigger star in Canadian music in the last 40 years.
                                         
                                         And she's always done it on her terms, coming out as a lesbian and a
                                         
                                         vegetarian in Alberta in the early nineties, after releasing her
                                         
    
                                         most ambitious album, Ingenue.
                                         
                                         She's often changed her musical style over the
                                         
                                         years, from traditional country to lush ballads to duets with Tony Bennett, even dance remixes.
                                         
                                         You get the impression she's always been guided by her own sense of what should come next,
                                         
                                         not by career guidance from her team. I did a lot of research for this one,
                                         
                                         went back and listened to her entire discography.
                                         
                                         I'm ready now to debate the merits of all her albums, like Shadowland from 1988, when
                                         
                                         she was 27 and she got Patsy Cline's legendary producer Owen Bradley, who was 73, to make
                                         
    
                                         sure the album sounded right.
                                         
                                         That level of preparation came in handy.
                                         
                                         Lang can be shy, and we had never met before. But it's always been obvious that she
                                         
                                         takes music seriously. So we bonded over music. And when it came time to talk about where she is
                                         
                                         in her performing career, which is maybe at the end, she was ready to talk about that too.
                                         
                                         Katie Lang, thanks for joining me.
                                         
                                         It is my pleasure. Of course. Thanks for welcoming me to your town.
                                         
                                         You had not been living in Calgary or at least
                                         
    
                                         not only in Calgary for some time, but you've
                                         
                                         you've settled back here.
                                         
                                         I go back and forth between Calgary and Portland.
                                         
                                         Which one's better?
                                         
                                         That's unfair.
                                         
                                         That's a totally unfair question.
                                         
                                         A way to start the interview off, right?
                                         
                                         It might be safer if I was in Calgary. better. That's unfair. That's a totally unfair question. I. Way to start the interview off, right?
                                         
    
                                         Might be, it might be safer if I take you back to some, some prehistory.
                                         
                                         So I started doing some research for this and I
                                         
                                         found of course, the legendary 1985 Juno acceptance
                                         
                                         speech for most promising female vocalist, which you delivered in a wedding dress
                                         
                                         and you delivered it by coming forth with a bunch of promises. I didn't get the joke until later
                                         
                                         that you were the most promising female vocalist so you were promised to do a bunch of stuff.
                                         
                                         Last thing you said is I promise I continue to sing for only the right reasons.
                                         
                                         And I thought my God, she's delivering a manifesto.
                                         
    
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         And then I got the joke and I thought, well, no,
                                         
                                         she's just goofing.
                                         
                                         But maybe it was a bit of both.
                                         
                                         It was both.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was simultaneous.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no, I was taking advantage of the moment
                                         
                                         of being most promising female in a wedding dress.
                                         
    
                                         But yeah, the manifesto for sure was right.
                                         
                                         And hopefully, I mean, there's been a couple
                                         
                                         times where maybe it was a little slippery slope,
                                         
                                         but for the most part, I think I've adhered to
                                         
                                         my aspirations of, of singing for the right reasons.
                                         
                                         What are the right reasons?
                                         
                                         Authenticity, motivation.
                                         
                                         I guess I've already always looked at music as a,
                                         
    
                                         I guess I've already always looked at music as a kind of holistic self and that it's my job to offer it up to those who want to listen and
                                         
                                         You know try to take that into consideration every time I perform or make music in the studio
                                         
                                         These considerations would not I haven't quizzed them all, but these considerations would not
                                         
                                         necessarily have been on the mind of all of the
                                         
                                         Juno winning, most promising vocalists.
                                         
                                         Like that's a time in your life when you're often
                                         
                                         just having fun or just trying to figure some
                                         
                                         stuff out and that urge to kind of hold yourself
                                         
    
                                         to account, did you feel at the time that not everyone was doing that?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         That didn't have any factor in me wanting
                                         
                                         to make that manifesto, but I don't know
                                         
                                         what other people think.
                                         
                                         I just know that it was important for me to,
                                         
                                         to understand the gravity of, of, of being a public figure
                                         
                                         and a musician, especially.
                                         
    
                                         I think of it as such a privileged life, not
                                         
                                         necessarily the best life, but a privileged life
                                         
                                         to be able to, to make music for a living.
                                         
                                         So yeah, I guess I understood that as a, as a
                                         
                                         youngster.
                                         
                                         When did you start thinking of yourself as a
                                         
                                         singer?
                                         
                                         When did you start thinking that that might be a
                                         
    
                                         life?
                                         
                                         About five.
                                         
                                         So there was between seven and 12, did you think
                                         
                                         you might want to be a dentist or a, a jet pilot
                                         
                                         or something or?
                                         
                                         No, I always knew I was going to be a singer always, always, but when I went to college,
                                         
                                         I went to play volleyball and I also wanted to
                                         
                                         take cinematography, but that was just to do
                                         
    
                                         something other than music.
                                         
                                         Cause I don't have any formal training, even
                                         
                                         though I ended up going to music school in
                                         
                                         Red Deer College, but yeah, I thought
                                         
                                         I was going to be an Olympic volleyball player
                                         
                                         at one point, but that was really the only
                                         
                                         divergent thought.
                                         
                                         Did you keep playing volleyball at all seriously
                                         
    
                                         for any length of time after?
                                         
                                         Well, I went to Red Deer College specifically
                                         
                                         for the coach who was quite renowned at the time.
                                         
                                         And I broke my ankle in the first week of tryouts.
                                         
                                         So that kind of sidetracked that dream.
                                         
                                         I also found the spoils of marijuana at the time.
                                         
                                         And that sort of also sidetracked my ambitions
                                         
                                         as an athlete.
                                         
    
                                         Was it hard to get good pot at Red Deer College
                                         
                                         or was it harder to avoid it?
                                         
                                         Uh, no, actually it was mostly hashish I was smoking at the time because I knew a guy
                                         
                                         and became very good friends with kind of a dealer and yeah, it was plentiful.
                                         
                                         Now you've told the story sometimes about getting some Patsy Klein records when you were 21 and
                                         
                                         that set you off
                                         
                                         on a, on a course for the next several years.
                                         
                                         What were you listening to in the three or four
                                         
    
                                         years before you heard Patsy Klein?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Um, certainly it wasn't country.
                                         
                                         It's pretty eclectic.
                                         
                                         I mean, I grew up with classical music surrounding
                                         
                                         me at all times, cause my siblings all played
                                         
                                         classical piano.
                                         
                                         Grew up with Peter and the Wolf and sound music and my sister was listening to Delaney and Bonnie and Eric Clapton and Cream and Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, then Joni Mitchell of course,
                                         
    
                                         and then Kate Bush, Ricky Lee Jones, jazz came into the picture. I just was all over the place.
                                         
                                         Then, yeah, when I turned 21, I was looking for something performative, like with a kitsch factor
                                         
                                         and with some humor and I found country and it was perfect. And yet, Patsy Cline's music spoke to me on a deep level, on a deep emotional level.
                                         
                                         So it just resonated with me.
                                         
                                         All the pieces came together,
                                         
                                         the costumes, the humor,
                                         
                                         the real emotional narrative of the songs,
                                         
                                         and also the idea that I could take something so traditional and have at it,
                                         
    
                                         deconstruct it have at it, you know, like deconstruct it
                                         
                                         and rework it, add contemporary thought and
                                         
                                         themes into the, to the construct of country
                                         
                                         music.
                                         
                                         Was there a country community that you were
                                         
                                         able to plug into or did musicians who were
                                         
                                         playing essentially punk rock at the time, did
                                         
                                         you have to sort of coax them?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, both.
                                         
                                         I didn't fit in either.
                                         
                                         So I just sort of skated.
                                         
                                         I played like lots of punk rock type of gigs.
                                         
                                         I think at the time there was a kind of a new
                                         
                                         country thing with, oh, what was their names?
                                         
                                         I'm spacing on it, but even like Joe Eli, like
                                         
                                         the rockabilly stuff, the punkabilly.
                                         
    
                                         So I sort of was on that peripheral.
                                         
                                         I was never really embraced by the country
                                         
                                         establishment, maybe ever, maybe just for one moment, but never really.
                                         
                                         Often young musicians have a hard time finding two things.
                                         
                                         First of all, information.
                                         
                                         If you grew up in the middle of nowhere, which to
                                         
                                         some extent, most of us did one way or the other,
                                         
                                         you have a hard time getting the right records or,
                                         
    
                                         or, or people who can, you can talk to about this stuff.
                                         
                                         The other thing is outlets, places to play,
                                         
                                         places to own your craft.
                                         
                                         Were you well set up on both of those fronts?
                                         
                                         I feel like I was because, um, my dad owned the drug store.
                                         
                                         So we had a never ending supply of Rolling Stone magazine, which was
                                         
                                         very informative to us, my sister and I.
                                         
                                         And, um, so that was one big sort of portal into the world of, of, of
                                         
    
                                         music, cause it informed what records we
                                         
                                         bought. But when I got to Edmonton I realized that if I were to have a course
                                         
                                         for success I would have to stay in Edmonton because there was less
                                         
                                         competition. Like if I were to go to Toronto it just seemed like there were
                                         
                                         too many fish. So I thought it's probably better for me to stay
                                         
                                         here and make a big noise, which it was ultimately.
                                         
                                         Now I asked about all the stuff before Patsy
                                         
                                         Klein, because there's essentially an after Patsy
                                         
    
                                         Klein too, when an album like On Janu comes out,
                                         
                                         it seemed at the time like a big departure from
                                         
                                         this country cow punk recline persona.
                                         
                                         But you told some interviewers at the time
                                         
                                         that actually that was a re-entry into all the
                                         
                                         other stuff that you loved.
                                         
                                         Yeah, absolutely.
                                         
                                         I mean, I forgot to, I mean, there's so many
                                         
    
                                         influences and Peggy Lee and Carmen McCray were
                                         
                                         very influential.
                                         
                                         Brazilian music was very influential in Anjanu.
                                         
                                         Yeah, country music was like kind of like this little sidebar
                                         
                                         into this world.
                                         
                                         It was performance art for me, to me.
                                         
                                         That's the way I viewed it.
                                         
                                         And the real music was, like I said,
                                         
    
                                         my real influences were Kate Bush, Ricky Lee, Joni, Peggy.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I mean, I, so I re listened to Angel with
                                         
                                         Hilaria, truly Western experience.
                                         
                                         And it's funny the extent to which it does
                                         
                                         sound like it also partakes of the independent
                                         
                                         Canadian music scene at the time.
                                         
                                         Like, um, Sukin Lee had a band at the time
                                         
    
                                         called, uh, Bob's Your Uncle.
                                         
                                         And, and I'm sure you guys were not comparing notes.
                                         
                                         I'm sure of it.
                                         
                                         No, we weren't.
                                         
                                         I knew who they were though.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         But, and the, like the, the second thing that comes
                                         
                                         to my mind is this sounds like Bob's Your Uncle.
                                         
    
                                         I never, never got that before.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It's, I think it's just, um, the rooms, the rooms
                                         
                                         all one play in would have a sound. The, the, um, the rooms, the rooms on one plane would have a sound.
                                         
                                         The, the, the, the guy behind the bar there, you
                                         
                                         know, like it was a world.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I don't know if that makes any sense at all.
                                         
    
                                         It totally does.
                                         
                                         I can't tell you that I'm aware of it, but I am
                                         
                                         aware of a Canadian sound in music for sure.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Now you, you're up there on national television
                                         
                                         winning a Juno, you're starting to get more and
                                         
                                         more mainstream attention, international
                                         
                                         attention.
                                         
    
                                         At some point, does that start to feel like
                                         
                                         pressure?
                                         
                                         No, it never felt like pressure when I, I had so
                                         
                                         much kinetic energy and so much to get out that it
                                         
                                         didn't feel like pressure then.
                                         
                                         It started to feel like pressure,
                                         
                                         I don't know, well after, I guess after ingenue. It started to feel like pressure, I think just
                                         
                                         because ingenue had sort of been the pinnacle of success. So the bar was at an unattainable
                                         
    
                                         at an unattainable standard.
                                         
                                         Um, I mean, uh, when.
                                         
                                         Unsurpassable. Not unsurpassable, but maintaining that bar.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Do you start to get a lot of voices in your ear,
                                         
                                         telling you, you know, you got to do this or
                                         
                                         you better not do that or.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Although I don't think I ever listened to them
                                         
                                         because I followed Anja Newup with even
                                         
                                         Cowgirls Get the Blues.
                                         
                                         And that was like, I guess from a marketing and a commercial point
                                         
                                         of view of a sabotage. Because Cowgirls, the film was delayed, the release was delayed and then it
                                         
                                         just, it didn't receive any attention. And then I sold about 38 copies of that and then in the grand commercial computer,
                                         
                                         it looks like my last record sold 38. So then that's where they hold me commercial viably.
                                         
                                         So I guess it was a mistake from a commercial point of view, but not from an artistic point of view. Because I really enjoyed that process and enjoyed that left of centre thing.
                                         
    
                                         I was thinking about Shadowland actually, how left of centre that was after Angel with
                                         
                                         a Lariat.
                                         
                                         And that I'm sure it shocked people that I wanted to do something so easy listening.
                                         
                                         But that's like a huge part of my identity.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I mean, if we were going to go record by record, uh,
                                         
                                         I bet you have been asked about more. You have given more interviews about Anjanu
                                         
                                         than anything else in your catalog, but that earlier
                                         
    
                                         album, Shadowland feels like almost the bigger risk, right?
                                         
                                         Because it's not hilarious.
                                         
                                         It's not, you know, you're putting your marker down as I have some stuff I actually want to say here.
                                         
                                         It was a big risk because I was signed to Sire Records, Seymour Stein, who signed Madonna, The Talking Heads, The Ramones, The Pretenders. So a very edgy rock label. I was signed under the guise of being cow punk.
                                         
                                         And then I made Shadowland and actually for the first contested months, they didn't even want to
                                         
                                         count it as a record on my contract because it was so different. But
                                         
                                         you know, that was honoring my connection to Patsy Cline and working with Owen Bradley who
                                         
                                         was Patsy Cline's producer and who produced Shadowland. And I wanted to go into that world And pay my homage and experience it as close
                                         
    
                                         to her as I could.
                                         
                                         And I mean, I don't think you can get any
                                         
                                         closer to Patsy than where I was.
                                         
                                         And then at that point, and especially after
                                         
                                         even cowgirls get the blues tanks, you're kind
                                         
                                         of free, you can sort of do what you want.
                                         
                                         Or was that how it felt?
                                         
                                         Or was it, I'm climbing out of a crater here.
                                         
    
                                         Don't mind me.
                                         
                                         It's kind of all of the above.
                                         
                                         And then I made my second or my next tanker,
                                         
                                         which was all you can eat.
                                         
                                         And that was a commentary on how just the pop
                                         
                                         machine, just like the music world and how relentless it is and how quickly you move
                                         
                                         through the various stages of fame with it.
                                         
                                         And yeah, and I obviously, that's so cliche
                                         
    
                                         and so redundant for an artist to talk about,
                                         
                                         but it's real and it was something that I was experiencing.
                                         
                                         And between Ingenue and All You Can Eat, you came out,
                                         
                                         you did the Vanity Fair cover, you did some work
                                         
                                         with PETA, which did not go over super well
                                         
                                         in parts of Alberta.
                                         
                                         It's almost like you were engaging with that pop
                                         
                                         machine,
                                         
    
                                         but on your own terms or trying to, praying to
                                         
                                         God that you could.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I was definitely doing my own thing.
                                         
                                         I mean, I think it was a huge asset to be from
                                         
                                         small town Alberta and to not understand the workings of show business.
                                         
                                         Because I think about somebody like Billie Eilish, for example, who is extremely steeped
                                         
                                         in the world of Hollywood and music and Grammys and that world. And I think how heavy that must be to know.
                                         
    
                                         And I think it was definitely an asset to not
                                         
                                         know and just to be like, let's go, let's
                                         
                                         choose pink this time, let's do brown and just
                                         
                                         completely just toss the dice and do
                                         
                                         whatever I wanted to do.
                                         
                                         That must also help you get away from the pressure
                                         
                                         of trying to figure out what your career
                                         
                                         is going to look like.
                                         
    
                                         It's going to look like what it was when it's done,
                                         
                                         but in the moment, it's just going to look
                                         
                                         like this next thing.
                                         
                                         Yeah, well, I mean, the artists that I loved.
                                         
                                         The artists that I loved, I think I cited people like Roy Orbson or Ray Charles or even Elvis to that extent, Linda Ronstadt, they would do a Mariachi record or they would do, Elvis would
                                         
                                         do all those crazy, do a Hawaiian record and then do a, you know,
                                         
                                         whatever kind of records. Ray Charles would sing country, he would sing R&B. And so I never,
                                         
                                         I never tried to channel into one thing. So I just, I don't even think that way. I don't listen
                                         
    
                                         that way and I don't think that way.
                                         
                                         To the extent I have a plan here, I'm kind of secretly leading up to when you start to
                                         
                                         work with Tony Bennett because at the time I wondered how he would have become aware
                                         
                                         of you and he's a singer with very high standards and at the time it wasn't obvious to me why
                                         
                                         he would embrace a
                                         
                                         country singer. Then I heard you sing both on
                                         
                                         that record and in person. It must have been one
                                         
                                         of the moments, one of several moments in your
                                         
    
                                         career that felt like a kind of a benediction.
                                         
                                         Pardon the pun. You know, drag was in between
                                         
                                         there, which to me was a kind of chanson or kind
                                         
                                         of a smoky burlesque record of some sort or some sort
                                         
                                         of druggy jazz record. So I don't know if that's where he heard of me or I mean he could have
                                         
                                         possibly heard crying with Roy Orbison. I don't know how Tony became aware of me. Anyway, I think working with Tony,
                                         
                                         I think I spent so much time being available for
                                         
                                         the conversation of gayness and homosexuality,
                                         
    
                                         that was such an amazing opportunity for me to,
                                         
                                         again, put my voice at the forefront,
                                         
                                         but also put my gayness in a situation that was like parental and that I could show the
                                         
                                         world that it wasn't as sexualized as Lady Gaga and Tony, which was pretty sexualized. But ours was more
                                         
                                         platonic and more parental. And I thought that was a very good representation for people to see.
                                         
                                         And not only that, just being able to have a personal tour guide into the American Songbook,
                                         
                                         who actually helped establish it it was like to me,
                                         
                                         university.
                                         
    
                                         It was like an incredible opportunity.
                                         
                                         He must've been a wonderful guy to work with.
                                         
                                         He's a guy with high standards, but he also
                                         
                                         seems just like this bundle of benevolence.
                                         
                                         He is, and he's such a gentleman.
                                         
                                         He's so professional.
                                         
                                         Oh my Lord.
                                         
                                         I mean, when I was touring with him, what year was that?
                                         
    
                                         1995.
                                         
                                         I don't remember.
                                         
                                         Do you know whenever?
                                         
                                         Oh, I know, actually I was on tour with him when 9-11 happened.
                                         
                                         So in around 2000, 2001, he would play tennis, he would paint and he would do the show and he would travel.
                                         
                                         The same, the same schedule I had and I was
                                         
                                         opening for him and yeah, he was just unstoppable.
                                         
                                         Truly unstoppable.
                                         
    
                                         He had so much creative energy and lust for life
                                         
                                         that it was mind blowing.
                                         
                                         Do you remember the first time that somebody
                                         
                                         that you viewed as an elder, as a figure that
                                         
                                         you looked up to dealt with you as someone who
                                         
                                         was going to be fine, who was going to be okay,
                                         
                                         who was, who they admired.
                                         
                                         There may be another example, but I nominate
                                         
    
                                         Stompin' Tom when he did that song about you,
                                         
                                         but there might've been cases before that.
                                         
                                         There's so many people like that. Stompin' Tom when he did that song about you, but there might've been cases before that. There's so many people like that.
                                         
                                         Stompin' Tom was definitely one of them.
                                         
                                         There's so many people who, who championed me.
                                         
                                         I mean, starting from like when I said,
                                         
                                         great, like when I was five years old, my piano
                                         
                                         teacher at the time, Sister Xavier from
                                         
    
                                         Castor
                                         
                                         Alberta suggested that I try singing and not piano. And so, you know, that's when
                                         
                                         it all began. You know, my parents were both champions of me. There's been so
                                         
                                         many. Minnie Pearl was a huge one. Roy Orbison was a huge one.
                                         
                                         Do you ever look at younger artists coming up,
                                         
                                         Billy Eyedish or I don't know who,
                                         
                                         and wish that you could give them advice
                                         
                                         or warn them away from hazards of music?
                                         
    
                                         Do you feel like that call of mentorship that you benefited from?
                                         
                                         I definitely feel a call to mentorship and I go through the process of creating a list
                                         
                                         of do and don't do in my head.
                                         
                                         And then I always come to a point in my mind where I'm like, that has absolutely no bearing on
                                         
                                         their success, my opinion.
                                         
                                         Because ultimately no one knows, no one knows what an artist needs.
                                         
                                         Only an artist's instincts can tell them.
                                         
                                         And so I have always made a very conscious decision to step back from mentoring because the
                                         
    
                                         best thing you can do to mentor is give them space. That makes a lot of sense.
                                         
                                         The one thing you can be sure to give them is you not nattering at them about
                                         
                                         what they should do next. Oh God. Yeah, that it doesn't, unless they ask. If they ask and they ask specific questions,
                                         
                                         it's like good Buddhist teachers, right? They will never prophesize. They will never give you
                                         
                                         a teaching out of nowhere. But if you ask, you will get a teaching. And I kind of feel that way
                                         
                                         about music too. If you ask me, I will give you my opinion, but I'm not going to offer you my opinion
                                         
                                         because that's just pollution really.
                                         
                                         What part of the recording touring promotion life did you enjoy the most?
                                         
    
                                         Because I know there are parts that have been hard.
                                         
                                         I bet you didn't come running to this interview for instance.
                                         
                                         I kind of ran because it's blizzarding outside, but, um, did I enjoy the most?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It's a tie between recording in the studio and being on stage.
                                         
                                         And I'm making a distinction between, between on stage and getting on stage because getting on stage
                                         
                                         was very, very difficult.
                                         
                                         You know, getting your mind up, getting your
                                         
    
                                         body, getting energy, getting your nerves down.
                                         
                                         I mean, it's so exhausting.
                                         
                                         I think my adrenals are totally toast from the
                                         
                                         years of touring and traveling.
                                         
                                         But once you step out on the stage with colleagues and with an appreciative audience, then all that
                                         
                                         other stuff kind of washes away.
                                         
                                         On a good night, it washes away and, um, you are
                                         
                                         just experienced the synergy as athletes refer to
                                         
    
                                         being in the zone and you're just a vehicle for all
                                         
                                         of the energy and you're, and you know, you're,
                                         
                                         you just happen to be in the vortex, but you're
                                         
                                         not, I'm not driving it or the car, but you're just a vehicle for all of the energy. And you're, and you know, you're, you just happen
                                         
                                         to be in the vortex, but you're not, I'm not driving
                                         
                                         it or the music's not even driving it.
                                         
                                         It's a, it's a coergence of, of, is that the right
                                         
                                         word, co-convergence of energy that only can exist
                                         
    
                                         when, when it's, you know, in sync.
                                         
                                         And you could also have some of the same
                                         
                                         experience in the studio?
                                         
                                         Because the studio seems to me like it's always
                                         
                                         provisional.
                                         
                                         The product's not finished, the answers aren't
                                         
                                         obvious.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         You know.
                                         
                                         I agree.
                                         
                                         But it's intellectual, it's creative, it's
                                         
                                         mathematical, it's nitpicking, but it's also full of possibilities.
                                         
                                         So I don't know, I love being in the studio.
                                         
                                         Might as well put a name on what just happened.
                                         
                                         You were talking about, about your performance
                                         
                                         career in the, in the past tense.
                                         
    
                                         Do you think it's pretty clear that it's
                                         
                                         in the past tense?
                                         
                                         You know, I went to a Banksy exhibition the other
                                         
                                         day and there was a, a, a piece that said, never
                                         
                                         say you quit, just say you're resting.
                                         
                                         So I'm resting perhaps for the rest of this life.
                                         
                                         But I don't, I don't actually know.
                                         
                                         All I know is honestly, I feel absolutely no drive
                                         
    
                                         to do anything creative.
                                         
                                         I mean, musically, I feel like painting.
                                         
                                         I haven't gotten back into it, but yeah, I just, I
                                         
                                         honestly don't have it for music right now.
                                         
                                         It's kind of sad, but you also have to trust and
                                         
                                         silence is as big as part of music as music itself.
                                         
                                         And I think all music tends towards silence and
                                         
                                         I'm have to, I have to honor the silence, I guess.
                                         
    
                                         Do you still listen to music?
                                         
                                         Oh, more than ever.
                                         
                                         In the kind of investigative sense that you
                                         
                                         would have brought to it when you were 19 or?
                                         
                                         No, because I, it depends much less so, because
                                         
                                         now I'm hearing music and I'm just gobstruck at how creative people are.
                                         
                                         Music now is just so incredibly beyond me.
                                         
                                         So I'm definitely intimidated by it.
                                         
    
                                         I understand it and I love it.
                                         
                                         I love what I'm hearing. I love music. I love it. I mean, I understand it and I, I love it. I love what I'm hearing.
                                         
                                         I love music.
                                         
                                         I love, I love it, but yeah, it's beyond me.
                                         
                                         It feels almost a little unfair to ask you names,
                                         
                                         but are there specific artists that you've
                                         
                                         been checking out?
                                         
                                         No, because I really, I'm, I'm not a collector of music necessarily.
                                         
    
                                         I listen to a lot of eclectic radio like CKUA or KCRW or CBC or whatever.
                                         
                                         I just listen to eclectic radio or my iPad or my shuffle mode. I don shuffle mode. I don't, I don't collect and I don't necessarily
                                         
                                         even buy albums.
                                         
                                         Isn't that awful to say, but it's true.
                                         
                                         Well, I mean, I mean, I haven't owned a CD in
                                         
                                         probably six or eight years.
                                         
                                         Well, there's nowhere to play them.
                                         
                                         Well, this is it in my car.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         That's not true.
                                         
                                         Sometimes musicians give me a copy of their latest
                                         
                                         CD and I'm like, well, I'll,
                                         
                                         I'll check it out next time I'm driving because that's the only thing.
                                         
                                         I've been watching a lot of your performances and a lot of interviews and, and
                                         
                                         stage appearances and stuff.
                                         
                                         And it seems to me that you, you often would use comedy as a way or humor as a
                                         
    
                                         way to decide how much of yourself you wanted to show.
                                         
                                         Is that right?
                                         
                                         Kind of the playful, sincere, playful, earnest thing, right? Like the joke is
                                         
                                         always an option. And then you would decide whether you want it to go a little heavier.
                                         
                                         Interesting. That's probably true.
                                         
                                         But you know, it's definitely a tool in the tool shed.
                                         
                                         And you know, when you're on stage, you're, you know,
                                         
                                         humor is as important as fear or as heartbreak.
                                         
    
                                         It's just another aspect. So I didn't know that about myself.
                                         
                                         I mean, I guess I, if I thought about it, I
                                         
                                         could see that, but that's perceptive and
                                         
                                         it's probably true.
                                         
                                         They both depend on a kind of engagement
                                         
                                         with the moment, right?
                                         
                                         Like the joke's only going to work if you
                                         
                                         have a sense of the room and an album like
                                         
    
                                         Shadowland is only going to work if you've got
                                         
                                         a sense of what you're capable of.
                                         
                                         This is, this is the lousy part of the
                                         
                                         interview where I'm giving you the answer.
                                         
                                         So you can skip right past that.
                                         
                                         No, I appreciate it.
                                         
                                         Cause honestly, I have to say, I don't
                                         
                                         know anything anymore.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know anything about myself.
                                         
                                         I mean, I know who I am, but I don't know
                                         
                                         anything about my career.
                                         
                                         I don't know anything about the art that I've
                                         
                                         produced, I can make guesses, but I don't know.
                                         
                                         I don't know anything.
                                         
                                         In May, you're going to be feted at, that's F-E-T-E-D,
                                         
                                         at the Governor General's Performing Arts Award in Ottawa,
                                         
    
                                         where a bunch of people are gonna say
                                         
                                         a bunch of nice things about you.
                                         
                                         And I assume that there is production going on
                                         
                                         now on a tribute video and things like that.
                                         
                                         Is that just a thing you got to get through
                                         
                                         because some people feel good about you or does
                                         
                                         that, does that give you a chance to think about
                                         
                                         the road that you've traveled?
                                         
    
                                         I don't know, maybe a little bit of both. I'm not thinking that much about the road I've traveled because of the Governor General's award. Maybe I will that night when it's all happening.
                                         
                                         I'm sure I'm going to cry. I'm sure it's going to be very emotional, but yeah, I'm not sitting here going, oh, my life in
                                         
                                         music.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm not really doing that.
                                         
                                         I think we'll end it there.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Thanks for taking the time.
                                         
                                         Of course.
                                         
    
                                         My pleasure.
                                         
                                         I got a little deep.
                                         
                                         Yeah, honestly, I like I'm not even kidding.
                                         
                                         And it's not even a shielding technique.
                                         
                                         I honestly don't know anything about it.
                                         
                                         It just seems like such a not even a blur.
                                         
                                         So I remember a lot of it but well almost the
                                         
                                         hardest thing is to analyze this stuff on demand right because like what was the
                                         
    
                                         point of it or what were you trying to do the the the thing you made is the
                                         
                                         point of it and to kind of pick a piece of it out and say, put a label on it and say, you know,
                                         
                                         or. Yeah, I, for some reason I always use food as an analogy. So I'm going to continue on that. But
                                         
                                         to me, it's like saying to the orange, how is that orange flavor? Do you like it?
                                         
                                         How would the orange know the The orange has no idea.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And that's how I feel.
                                         
                                         I feel like I just got dropped from a tree and I did what I did and you know, I'm not
                                         
    
                                         the one consuming the orange. Thanks for listening to The Paul Wells Show.
                                         
                                         The Paul Wells Show is produced by Antica in partnership with the National Arts Centre
                                         
                                         and the University of Toronto's Monk School of Global Affairs and Public Policy.
                                         
                                         It's published by the Toronto Star and iPolitics.
                                         
                                         Thanks to our founding sponsor, TELUS, and our title sponsor, Compass Rose.
                                         
                                         Our senior producer is Kevin Sexton. Our associate producer is Hailey Choi.
                                         
                                         Our executive producer is Lisa Gabriel.
                                         
                                         Stuart Cox is the president of Antica.
                                         
    
                                         If you're enjoying this show, spread the word.
                                         
                                         We'll be back next Wednesday. You
                                         
