The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 11 (Nish Kumar)

Episode Date: November 22, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 11 (Nish Kumar)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 96 of 128.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Pickle and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Because it's on air, Peacock and Gamble's not playing Gamble really is great, Peacock and it is a gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Here they are! Hello and welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast The official Chortle podcast On the website chortle.co.uk

So we work for Chortle And we'd like to make a statement today Which is, we think that we've not given things enough stars. We think we have basically made a mistake here on Chortle. So we're speaking on behalf of Chortle. Here on Chortle, and this is the official Chortle... Mate, if you keep saying that, then people are going to say they only got four stars because they work for Chortle.

No, we only got four stars because Steve Bennett has had a mental breakdown. No, mate, it's going to sound like if we say we're associated with Chortle that that's why we got it, that it's biased. Right. Steve Bennett came... I'm Ray Peacock, by the way. Hello. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. Welcome to the Edinburgh Podcast. If you're a new listener, go back to the first one. Yeah. Steve Bennett, right, came to our show and

watched a show which, quite frankly, was the greatest comedy event that there has ever been. That is true. I'm normally the one who says, no, come on. But that is true. Right. And by the way, Steve Bennett, we've got it on video. We've got it on video.

So we might release that as a DVD. And then people can make their own minds up about whether it was a stupid four-star review or an actual five-star review, which it should have been. And don't think, by the way, Steve Bennett, if you're-star review, which it should have been. And don't think, by the way, Steve Bennett, if you're listening to this, which you're probably not because you don't care about us, right? Don't think that I've not spotted that you called me Elmo in that review. And you know fine well that I don't like Elmo. I think Elmo's

a stupid idiot and you have affiliated myself with Elmo. I think you're being a very, very, listen, very ungrateful boy. And we're not even reading our reviews, but we can't avoid that one. And you know we can't avoid it because we've got to look at your stupid site every day because we've got to send a podcast to it. We're driving people to your site and getting you all a business and you didn't even give us a five-star review. And in the middle of the review, you said, oh, quite a lot of work has gone into it.

Mate, you're being very ungrateful. Quite, quite a lot of work. Four stars is very good from Steve Bennett. I've given myself Emmy. You've not given yourself Emmy. Doing this show. I am so tired. You're not.

I am so tired every day. Right. From doing this show and pouring my heart into it. And then he comes along. Right. Ladies and gentlemen. With his poison pen. We're on episode 11 of 26.

Not even halfway through. Working really. Ray is about to have a full breakdown. Working really hard on this, and I've even had to get an helper in. Laura Barron has been doing loads of editing for me because I am so ill. I'm so ill with my ME. Steve, I'd like to thank you for our review,

and any reviewers who come and give us a nice review say the show's good and give us a good star rating. Right. Just chill out, mate, all right? Yeah, give us a star rating worthy of the show's good and give us a good star rating. Right. Just chill out, mate, alright? Yeah, give us a star rating worthy of the show. Not four stars like all the other acts. That's not true. All the other acts aren't getting four.

Everyone gets four stars. It's the new three stars, mate. It's not. It's rubbish. It's not rubbish. I'm going home. I'm going home, mate. Fine, you go home.

What are you going to do? You better not do our show on your own. I mean it, not on your own. I can do it by myself. I'll just do all my straight man bits. You just say, stop it, stop misbehaving, stop misbehaving for an hour. Yeah, stop it, stop running around. Right.

Alright, alright. It'll be interesting. It'll probably get five because it is post-modern. Fine. Well, alright. I will be gracious then. Oh, thanks a lot, Steve. Rubbish acting.

For your four-star review of our five-star show. It's that awful acting that meant we lost a star. Because of my acting? Yes. Like that. It's hammy. That's real crying. It's not real crying.

It's poor acting. It is. Look at me tears. Three stars now. Oh God. Steve, I'd like you to go on your website

and remove two of our stars from that four star review as a punishment for raping an ungrateful boy. Right, and do you know what

if you say that he'll go and do it he'll do it just for a day as a don't do that even as a joke no we would be genuinely upset about that

yeah genuinely upset but I mean but I am gonna I've decided what that this is gonna be the year what this is the year

when I punch Steve Bennett in the face no mate no this is gonna be the year now we've had that four star review should have been a five even our publicist said it should have been a five should have been a five. Even our publicist said it, should have been a five,

should have been a five. Yeah. Our stage manager said it, everyone said it, everyone in that room. Our publicist said our show should have been a five. She did.

A woman who definitely isn't paid to be a yes person. Right, listen, and then, oh, by the way, Steve, after you'd gone, we had a vote with our audience because you missed

the big finale sketch at the end because you went home to review something else. And we have a little hidden bit right at the end of our show. And that's the bit where we all come out and we do the best sketches ever been. We do that. And then we say to the audience, hey, let's have a vote. Who thinks that was five stars?

And that was the first night that everybody has put their hands up for five stars. Yeah, definitely. Ed's bored with his podcast now. He's only got a little yawn in the corner. I'm sorry. It's very warm in here. It's just making me a little bit warm. Right. But, mate, what I'm saying is we've got to be grateful for what we've got, it's a good review, it's a nice review, so let's just move on with the fringe. Called me Elmo

innit? Yeah, you are a bit like Elmo. I'm not like Elmo, isn't it? Shut up, Elmo. Shut up, Elmo. So, our show, our four star show is on at the Pleasance Dome at 9.40 every night. It's called Peacock and Gamble, don't even want to be on telly show, is on at the Pleasance Dome at 9.40 every night. It's called Peacock and Gamble. Don't even want to be on telly. It's on at the Pleasance Dome. Dome. Dome. And it's brilliant.

You know, it's four stars. Raised like Elmo. We've got five stars as well. I saw them on our poster. Yeah, we've got five stars from someone else, but from Steve Bennett. Four stars. Raised like Elmo. If you're a fan of Elmo, you'll be a fan of our show.

Come along. Bring a Tickle Me Elmo. Don't bring a Tickle Me Elmo. Don't bring a Tickle Me Elmo when you're in Edinburgh. Wear an Elmo t-shirt. If you see Ray around Edinburgh, exclusively refer to him as Elmo. Run up, tickle him, go,

Hello Elmo, how are you? Hello Elmo, hello Elmo. Especially if it's really late at night and he looks really tired. Run up to him and go, Hello Elmo, give him a big tickle. Yeah, do that. And then you will experience

one of the special Steve Bennett punches in the face as well. And a kick in the shin. And a lovely review from Steve Bennett. We thought, have we got any quotes in that?

Stupid old Steve Bennett accidentally left a quote in there for us. Make sure you bring someone special to this show. Yeah, that's a weird thing to send to our show, Steve. The full quote was obviously,

make sure you bring someone special to this show, your inner child. But if you cut the full quote was obviously make sure you bring someone special to this show your inner child but if you cut the inner child make sure you bring someone special to the show

four stars yeah thanks a lot for that Steve thank you Steve you've made that worthwhile we're going to make you look a right fool

now on our posters so guest today special guest today who is it today well who is Nish Kumar oh it's Nish isn't it of course it's Nish yeah yeah

Nish Kumar one of our friends one of our dearest comedian friends yeah Yeah. Good guy, brilliant comic. All round good guy. All round sort of whipping boy, lovely little chap. He's having a very good year as well. Yeah, he is. He's excellent. Doing very well. Really good chap. Although, do you know what? I think we will chat later on with Nish about Chalk and their reviewing policy. Yeah, we do. Have a little chat with him about that. Steve, I don't want you to feel that this is all against you today, mate,

but it kind of is. It kind of is today and it's on your site as well. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah, and we just interviewed Nick Muhammad for a future interview and you come in for a little bit of bashing.

He was having a pop at you as well. No, he wasn't actually. He wasn't. That's the downside, isn't it, Steve? Of course, if you live by the sword, you die by the sword. If you're going to let us run loose on your site,

then you're going to have to expect us to start reviewing you. I'm going to review Steve Bennett. All right, go on then. Ah, I saw Steve Bennett die by the sword. If you're going to let us run loose on your site, then you're going to have to expect us to start reviewing you. I'm going to review Steve Bennett. All right, go on then. I saw Steve Bennett walking down the street the other day. He looked like he had calipers on. One star. Oh dear.

I'm going to review Steve Bennett's clothes. Right. They are rubbish. One star. He can't. You know, it's just a simple thing. He can go on that website and take our review down. He runs the website.

He's in charge of it. No, but then the podcast will tell everyone that... No, mate. He can take the podcast down. Why? He could go back and edit this. He could bleep out all these references if he wanted. What, even if I call him a...

Yeah. What, he could have bleeped that then? He could have done. I think he might do. Steve Bennett could have just gone and interfered with our... Right, so now he's interfering with us creatively as well. Yeah. What about if I tell people at the time...

What? Well, I'm not sure that's public knowledge. Right. You know. Yeah, but I've just told everyone. Comics know about it, but I'm not sure... Right. Well, look.

Thank you, Steve. That was a nice review. Thank you, Steve, yeah. And we should make it clear as well that even though we have a bit of a laugh and a joke with Steve in that, we don't get any favours no it's completely our choice completely our choice

that's the catchphrase of the podcast isn't it so we do have a thing where we do whenever Steve's in reviewing us we do have this horrible thing

because we come out of the show afterwards going like luckily that show the other night it was a really nice show and we were relatively confident that it would get a good review but if we did a stinker show and Bennett was there, we would know he'd have to say

it was rubbish. Yeah. Yeah, of course. So we kind of, we just have to agree with that. I mean, for all reviewers as well, we know quite a few reviewers and you know, there's not much you can do about it. And then unfortunately, you know, that's why you can never be best friends. Yeah. That's why we can never be best friends. Sorry, Steve. Sure, Steve. We'll do what we did the other night, of course. We'll take you out for a big slap-up meal after the show. We'll give you all that money again, which apparently is the normal thing to do for a review.

And a big gold chain with Blenit on it. Of course, we gave you that big gold chain that you said that we had to give you, but I'm sure that that's not influenced your review in any way. That's just the way that networking works, isn't it? Yeah, and then we all got really drunk, didn't we? And then you ended up in the toilet. Yeah, yeah.

I hope he doesn't bleep that bit out. I mean, it makes him seem more rock and roll. That was just a bit of Edinburgh fun, wasn't it? Yeah, exactly, yeah. Yeah, it was. Anyway, come on. Let's have a bit more Edinburgh fun now. Never mind all these review things.

You can get bogged down with it, can't you? Yeah. And we're not even reading our fucking reviews. Right, here's a lovely interview with Nish Kumar. Pea-cooking gamble, pea-cooking gamble. So we're here with Nish Kumar. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. So we're here with Nish Kumar. Hello, Nish. Hello.

I will flag up now, during today's interview, there will be lots of replacing the most important word in a sentence with Nish. Yeah. Nish. Because Nish has a habit of doing that, don't you, Nish? Nish, yeah. So this is the sort of thing that Nish does. Everyone else at the Fringe, they'll get flyers, they'll get posters, they'll get PR. What Nish does is he stands near people and replaces words with Nish does. This is, everyone else at the Fringe, they'll get flyers, they'll get posters, they'll get, you know, PR.

What Nish does is he stands near people and replaces words with Nish. Yeah, just stand there and go, Nish is it. Yeah, Nish is it. And then someone will go, do you want to see a show tonight?

I think we should go and see a show tonight. And their wife will go, Nish. And they'll go, what? And they'll go, Nish for some reason. And they'll go and see you,

won't they? And that's how it Nish. That's exactly the sort of thing. And you'll find it gets very wearing. And very great in the news. Or it gets very wearing over 50 minutes. Or it gets wearing over 50 minutes. Over approximately 50 minutes it gets wearing.

Imagine how it feels being friends with him for seven years. And then they should have history together. Yeah, we've got history. We're bringing out a lot of history on the podcast, aren't we? Either me or you have got a beef with someone. That's really a beef, is it? Well, not with Nish, because it's Hindu, of course. And now, I think, what are we at?

Two minutes? You've got to bear in mind, Nish, it's a long time since we've had a lot to bully. It feels bad that we've got you here under the pretense of helping you promote your show. I'm a surrogate for you, aren't I? You are.

You've locked the doors. That did explain why you drew glasses on me as I was coming in and asked me to look more failed. Also, our management suggested it would be a good idea to have one on because we insulted them the other day. Nish is very... I'll just explain the relationship, certainly, that I have with Nish and Ray has with Nish as well. All best Nishes. There you go again. He deserves it, see? Tiring already.

Now, in a lot of friendship groups, there'll often be one like Nish. A man of Ind. A man of Ind. It basically is a very modern thing to have a friend from an ethnic minority who it's fine to bully. Many consider it that all white people are inherently racist, and it's just nice to have a little bit of a valve where it's all friendly. Where it's your friend and they can't really do anything about it. And sure, when they go home, they say to their family that it's getting a bit much now with them too, you know.

And I know that they're joking, but it is a bit funny. It's just when they open the door to bring me in it's all the time you know I might say something I might say something so this is your opportunity bringing it out all here

if you feel the need to our private pretend jokes that we all do together between us have a good fun if they're getting too much

this is your opportunity now to lay it on the line yeah in your kitchen with all the doors locked when it's just me and you two in our kitchen where we keep our knives when it's just me and you two in our kitchen

where we keep our knives by all means yeah I'm so close to the oven as we have this conversation but you're also the thing is it's not just us three

is it it's all the thousands of listeners as well so if they'll hear it happen yeah there's a lot of ways to remonstrate with them

as well for all the racism they've done to me I really it's been a long time have you no in a genuine thing, question what you have.

Question, yes. It's all gone a bit Parkinson. No, genuinely though, do you get, do you experience racism nowadays in your life? Yeah. Do you really? Yeah, yeah.

In what respects? It's people just yelling it, yelling stuff at you. I don't know. Yeah, they do. Every year in Edinburgh. Stop walking in the middle of the road is not racist.

Can you wear pants? It's not. It's against the culture, mate. It's against the culture to wear pants in the street. Generally, what happens? They just shout stuff. Whenever I've been with you,

I'm actually not doubting it. But whenever I've been, I've never had it when I've been with you. Because it is you. People will pass and go, yeah, covered. Covered that.

There's no point you shouting it if you just stood next to me. You work much better from behind a bush. Yeah, that's right. Your little bush races. Thank you. What happens? What do you get? I don't even say the words.

They just tend to yell. The P word comes up a lot. Really? Yeah. I'm living in Croydon at the moment, which is an incredibly diverse area. That's a long way to come from. Yeah, it is. A long way to come from.

It's a big community. You should get a flat in Edinburgh. I should have done. Can you have this conversation with my management? Because they said, we think it's more cost effective for you to hitchhike. Well, it probably is. Probably right, yeah.

So go on, you're going to Croydon at the moment. So it's very diverse you wouldn't expect I grew up there so I never really experienced it that much in Croydon it tended to be

when I went out when we were at university that was where it happened quite a lot I was at university with Nick that's Henderson Durham

College of Further Education Durham Prison of Education that's a lovely place but for some I don't know what's going on in Croydon but there's been a bit of an upswing

in the old Captain Johnny racism. Because I was, two things happened in quick succession. One of them, which I'll talk about in the show,

but the other one was I was on a bus and I could hear downstairs this woman just, and I'm sorry towards the listeners for the offensive language

that I'm about to use, but she was going, fucking packies, fucking packies, give us a wave, fucking packies. Oh, no. Fucking packies. Give us a wave. Fucking packies. Give us a wave. And obviously,

the three guys were just, they all sounded really safe. They just go, can you just, can you deceive us here? No, mate. Give us a wave, you fucking packies.

Oh, cool. And when they, when they went, eventually, one of them finally snapped. I want to say snapped in the most English way possible. He went,

can you please be quiet, my dumber? And she just went, oh, come on. I want to say snapped in the most English way possible. He went, can you please be quiet, madam? And she just went, oh, come on! I've just got out of prison! So she's been... This poor woman has been incarcerated for all those years, and all she wanted... All she wanted was a wave from a brown man.

A wave from a brown man. And all she did was... She's been in prison for years. She doesn't know about the language that you can use. She might have been in business in 1960 for all you know. She doesn't know it's changed. There's always another way of looking at it, isn't there? It's like Rashomon.

It is, yeah, very much. We're in Croydon, you say about it, it's a very diverse area. Part of that diversity is cunts. Yeah. So it's not everyone, it's not just a melting pot of racists. It's also like, well, it's all sorts of people as well. Yeah.

So the dicks are there too, aren't they? Browns, cunts, the Chinese. Oh my God. Do you know what? If you'd have asked me before Edinburgh, which would be the most offensive party? I definitely wouldn't have said Nish. They don't call me Jim Jefferies

because my name's Pitch. Brilliant. These are all good quotes. Brilliant quotes. So this all good quotes. Brilliant quotes. So, this is your first year ever as a solo performer, correct? Correct. Last year you were in The Gentleman of Leisure. Yeah, last two years.

Last two years, I apologise. You'll be very much admired. Yeah. Myself and Ed Gamble. Best show last year that we saw. Best show that I saw, definitely. Do you want to tell them how many shows you saw? Well, two.

But how many times have you seen The Gentleman of Leisure? The Gentleman of Leisure, did I see it once or twice? I think I went twice. Because the second time, I seem to remember, for the whole of the last sketch, you were trying to surreptitiously give me the middle finger. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I've seen it all before.

I saw it about four or five times. Ed managed to go without giving me the finger through all four of them no you just didn't no you didn't yeah okay you're actually

you and Tom Neenan the erstwhile Tom Neenan the erstwhile the man who like even though he's not in Edinburgh I've spoken to him every day since I've been over here

oh that's nice do you miss him? yeah I miss him you know I really do and the worst thing is that every I have two conversations

with people in Edinburgh. Right. And neither of them relates to me. Firstly, they go, oh, Miss Tom. I really wish Tom was here. Like, when you're part of a double act and everyone goes, oh, I've missed the other one. Tom was the one. And the other one is, doesn't Ed look good?

Yeah. Those are the two conversations that people want to have. I get that a lot when it's just the event. And it feels horrible during the show. You know what I think people think? Because some people

have gone to you, hey, doesn't Ed look nice? I think what they expect is because we're friends that you'll go, yeah, you know what? He does, well done, Ed. But instead you go,

you're basically calling me fat. It's true. That's how I feel. Or as you did to Simon Streeting, the man who is in charge of quite a lot of the puzzles you knocked his glasses off his face and then because you knew you didn't realize you don't you slapped him so his glasses flew off as soon as you saw his glasses fly off and towards the

ground what did you do rather than apologizing you rolled yourself up into a feet of crotch as if you were going to hide or the glasses were going to explode. I saw the glasses in the air and I thought, oh, when they were smashed. And then I just hid myself. I made myself as small as a cabbage. And then no harm can come to me. So that's... He's had the blessings. Oh.

He's had the blessings for years and years. It was amazing. I slapped him really hard around the face. His glasses blew off. And you just saw loads of pleasant stuff going, oh my. And since then we've been in for years and years. It was amazing. I slapped him really hard around the face. His glasses blew off. And you just saw loads of Pleasant staff going, oh, my. And since then, we've been sold out. Genuinely, they're terrified of me. And rightly so as well. Let's move the kick of the dog next. The Pleasant's dog.

We'll cut that out. We certainly won't. Oh, we will not. I think you'll find that is your interview. The dog? I am aware that people don't mean any harm. But first off, it's boring. I don't know.

I'm not inside your body because I wouldn't fit. But I imagine it's boring for you to be a constant thing. And every time we put up a new thing about the podcast on Facebook, it's only on Facebook. On Facebook, it's just a constant stream of it. When did I get fit? And it's also insulting because it's like ages ago. And it's not like anyone's going, you look nice.

Some people do. My mum said you look very nice. Mainly, it's have you been ill? Which I don't understand is a question. If they go, all, it's, have you been ill? Which I don't understand is a question. If they go, all right, mate, have you been ill? I say, yeah, I've had a really bad bout of AIDS. Then that's just going to be awkward for everyone, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

They're done with us. Just leave it. Exactly. If somebody drops weight that quick, then there's a very good chance that it is an illness. It's not, by the way. No, but I mean, they don't know that. So it's a very good chance. So don't go straight in with, have you got cancer?

Yeah. Anything like that. So it's a very good chance. So don't go straight in with... Have you got a cancer? Yeah. Anything like that. Yeah. Because I'm now having to fly the flag for the larger fat channel. Right? So I've got work. Before, we were both doing it together. We were both a team of fat.

Yeah, yeah. Doing it, flying the flag. And now it's garbage as me. So also, I will still maintain that it's also saying, oh, Ed, you look good now. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, I get that as well. And you looked ace anyway. I know I did. Always been a handsome lad. Yeah. Purely health things.

I think people also assume that people lose weight because they have self-esteem issues or they wanted to look different, whereas that wasn't the case with me in the slightest. Yes, the old boss of Ace Blood. You can both agree that I had no problems with self-esteem at all.

If anybody obsesses now that you can't have a big cake. Anyway, Nish, about your stupid show. Pickle can gamble, pickle can gamble. It's good that we're having discussions about race and stuff. There's serious discussions. It is good that we're having good discussions. It's good that we can get it all out in the open. Yeah. Because it features in your show.

I've not seen your show yet. It's very, very good. I saw it in preview all out in the open. Yeah. Because it features in your show. I've not seen your show yet. It's very, very good. I saw it in preview maybe three or four times. Yeah. I've seen it a few times. It's very, very, very good. Very interesting. You're an excellent stand-up.

And also what I'm quite enjoying hearing about your show around the place is people are like, there's no tricks. There's no tricks for Kim. Oh, there is no tricks. There's no tricks. There's no gimmicks. It's just one man and a mic. Is that why he's starting wearing

all black clothes? Yeah. He fancies himself as a heady brown mix between Louis C.K. and Johnny Cash. To speak the truth. Why do you wear black, Nish? Oh, it's to remind myself of the poor man. It's because it's never a white day in the world of the poor man.

Next year's show title is sorted. Nish Kumar presents Hedy Brown Mix. Speaking of titles, you had lots of titles, didn't you? Yeah. Didn't happen. I got a bit obsessed with making titles based, or puns based around my own name. Yeah, I know. And it's just got some belters as well. And you picked the worst one. and I got a bit obsessed with making titles based or puns based around my own name. Yeah, no, and there's some belt as well,

and you picked the worst one. What you decided on who is Nish Kumar. Although, since I've been here, I kind of get it because people are saying like,

genuinely, who is Nish Kumar? I've known that a lot, yeah. And it's all over the poster, so people see the poster and go, who is Nish Kumar? Actually,

who is Nish Kumar? And it does start a little discussion, so it does work as a thing. And they go to the poster and go, who is Nish Kumar? Well, I don't care. discussion so it does work as a thing. And then he goes to the place and they go, who is Nishikawa? And I don't care.

Yeah, obviously. Not hard. I don't want them. But if you think about it, they're Nish racists. I don't want those people. They're racists. They're Nish racists.

But if you think about it, whatever title you picked, the reaction's always going to be, I'm not bothered. Yeah. So at least he creates that little discussion before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas just the problem was that the general consensus, because I put it on Twitter, and I got all 12 of my followers involved in a discussion. Nice, nice. But the general consensus was that the best one was Kumar, Kumar, Kumar, Kumar, Kumar, comedian.

Yeah. But the problem with that is that it doesn't work when you say it like that. You have to have to sing it. Yeah. And so I thought when you write that down on the poster, I have this vision of people going Kumar, Kumar, Kumar, Kumar and then in brackets me going

sing it the boy George. And then them going Kumar. But you could have dressed as boy George on the poster. Wouldn't it be nice?

That would have been lovely. I'd look lovely with dreadlocks with red and yellow streaks. You say that like you've not got them now.

It's also the other problem you have as well with a long title is what we found out this year. Because our show's called Be Good and Go on the Day and you want to be on telly anyway.

Yeah. And I thought you'd bless us down. I've seen it. You have seen it, haven't you? It's brilliant, mate. Oh, bless you. You're the best, you. Well, it's when you,

if you have kuma, kuma, kuma, kuma, kuma, kuma, then it's loads of words. Yeah. And so many things with the Edinburgh Fringe are based on word counts. Yeah.

And you're like, yeah, right, you've got 40 words. It's like, right, but I've already talked 12 hours on the title. And also And you're like, yeah, right, you've got 40 words. It's like, right, but I've already talked 12 hours on the title. And also updating things on Twitter and websites.

Really? I'm just bored of time. It's good to say. Whenever I see a tweet with you guys trying to advertise a show, they're operating

at the limit of those 140 characters. And all of a sudden you can't say anything about it. We'd use an acronym, but we're already accused of ripping off

Richard Harris. Of course, yeah. But if you're going to use an acronym, at least make it use an acronym, we could at least make one that made a word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you ever do another show, right? Yeah. We'd do another show. With prizes.

That's just one of the jokes of this year. Then we'd need to make it make a word, like spam. Yeah, spam. What show we're doing? Spam. Speak up and pamble. We tried this the other day. He's making up an're doing is spam. It's Peacock and Pamble. We tried this the other day.

He's making up an acronym on the spot. Silly Paki at Maison. Mate, are you going to say Paki on this podcast

every other day? Is this every other day? Is this why I'm here? Am I here to contextualise your racism?

Did you call Joe Lysett a Paki? No, I thought they were queer. Yeah, okay. Is this every other day? Is this why I'm here? Am I here to contextualise your racism? So just if I... Did you call Joe Lysett a packie? No, I thought it was queer. Ladies and gentlemen, it's nice to have Nishran here for our official apology for the last podcast. We have a healthy relationship where... Sex. Yeah, where...

Do you have sex? Sometimes. Where I'll, you know, we'll have a bit of fun with your roots. Yes. Do you mind that? No. No, exactly.

I think that's an interesting point about the modern world where there's this entirely new thing sprung up which is an acceptable form of racism within a close group of friends, don't you? Yeah. But there's not a counter to that, though, is there? So within the group of friends and that,

there's not a bit where Nish turns around and says, well, you were, you know, do you know what I mean? There's no equivalent of that the other way around. Well, yeah, but when you're friends with people, you make fun of them constantly about various different things. And when you know somebody well enough and there's a kind of trust element there, race just becomes one of the things

that gets dropped into the sort of general badinage between friends. Yeah, yeah. And it's only when... But it's kind of a trump card, though, isn't it? In banter? I don't think so, because... I always feel like I've won when I bring it up.

Yeah, I know. That's why... The reason you feel it's a trump card is because you walk off celebrating. You never get to actually get off. I don't think it is a trump card because I think it's just one in a series of topics that we use to

emotionally hurt each other over the course of our friendship. Isn't it indescribable, though, of an underlying genuine, like, not intentional, but an underlying genuine racism, do you think? No. I think there's no point in not acknowledging that I am an Indian. And I think if you're friends with somebody and you're comfortable

enough to talk about that subject in a serious way, then the likelihood is you're also comfortable enough talking about it in a more jokey way and in a more relaxed fashion. And I think, you know, I did, there were certain elements of my upbringing that were, you know, different in some way. Yeah. And so there's no point in not acknowledging that at all. I mean, you know, somebody like our friend Nick Mohamed, Nick probably doesn't consider himself, because he sort of considers himself to be very much British, and I've had conversations with him where he doesn't want to be kind of judged in those terms, and that's just the way that he does it. Whereas I do talk about it quite

a lot. It's like in reviews, somebody once asked me if I was annoyed at being referred to as a British Ocean stand-up and it would be pretty churlish of me to do that given that the opening line of my show is hello British Ocean.

If I'm comfortable enough talking about it joking about it and making it a thing then I have to be prepared for my friends and for people who write about me

in my comedy. So you're dead and you're alright with Whitey joining in? Yeah, I'm alright with the crackers. I've got no problem with honkies jumping on the van. I love a bit of it. But who's your favourite off the

Coon Marsh? You know, I make fun of all that, like, are you going to discuss me? I was a huge fan. Don't discuss me. It's like a massive deal in my house like my parents were like there's Indians

on the television and because up to that point Indians on TV were all like basically shop owners who were the victims of racism

in worthy dramas like that was the extent of Indians on television and this is going to sound really weird but honestly if my parents

were watching television and we weren't all in the same room and there was an Indian on TV they'd'd go, oh my God, there's an Indian on TV. Really? Bloody hell, when George Aligarh presented the news, we dropped everything. It was a real novelty in the sort of, I think it's difficult to remember, but even in the sort of early 90s, it was a real novelty to see Asians on television. So then when you had a group of Indians who had written a sketch show that was mocking the kind of culture clash, I think now, when you talk to people now,

people look at it and go, oh, it's a bit dated, and possibly it is, but at the time, it was quite cutting edge. And it genuinely felt like something new and different. And it was really exciting to see the jokes that I would make with my cousins or Asian friends in the privacy of our own home go over and be part of this television program and then be

Laughed at in the right way because it wasn't I don't know how to phrase this without sounding like a character in a blaxploitation movie But it wasn't Uncle Tom shit. It wasn't you know, hey, are we stupid? Because we're a small curry and we're timbers! Love us, Whitey, love us. That's what he looked like. But it was genuinely, it was a big deal. Do you remember the week when I sent you a picture of Mirasayal's legs? Yep.

That must have been a big moment for you. That was a big moment. I said, Mum, Dad, come in quick, there's an Indian on the phone. If you want the backstory to that, I'll explain it. It's nothing more than that sentence involved. Ray saw Mira Sayal take a picture of her legs, said, it's a myth. There's no wider context. We can make this sound better, right? I was outside Broadcasting House, BNC. About to go in to record our radio show, I don't know if you were up to it, let me know.

We saw lots of people around there, off then Rob's telling off the radio now, and then Mira's house was there, and then after several times of checking it was definitely a... I got my phone out, I thought I can get a picture of her, but then it became very obvious I wouldn't be taking a picture of her, so you had to just get the lens. And then the cinema made up, weren't you? Yeah, she liked it. I was a little fazed a little bit when he saw that. How are you enjoying the Fr Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. How are you enjoying the fringe so far, Nish? I'm having a good time, actually. Been having a really good time.

Been having lots of fun and laughs and jokes. Miss Tom, Miss Tom, Miss Tom Day. Yeah, I know you miss Tom, mate. Miss Tom leaning off your double lap. It was just a mirror over the skin. Oh, thanks, mate. Yeah. But there is a mannequin in the window of one of the vintage clothes shop.

Tom has a very distinctive look. He wears very nice suits and black glasses. And there's a mannequin and it looks like I've dressed it as Tom. So I just often just am stood near it looking sad. Do you have to walk past it every day? Yeah.

That's a habit. Just being pressed up against the glass going, gentlemen of leisure. It was a gentleman of leisure. Is that an Just put a little letter on the window. Just me, pressed up against the glass going, Gentlemen of Leisure! It was a Gentlemen of Leisure, is that an ongoing project with you? Yeah, earlier this year we did a show in the British Museum where we wrote a site-specific tour. And so Nish and Tom, the characters in the Gentlemen of Leisure, who I really wish we'd named something different just to avoid confusion,

the two characters in the Gentlemen of Leasure did a tour of the British Museum. We wrote sketches based on a lot of the exhibits and we took people round. It was really, really exciting. It was one of the funnest things I've done because we were in with loads of actual tours and that gave the whole thing a really exciting atmosphere because it felt like all the people were in on a kind of private journey. You were ruining it for other people. We were ruining it. Well, only because a couple of people joined in

and one of them joined in about 10 minutes in to a half hour tour. And at 27 minutes, he turned to our friend Amy, who was producing the show and went, tell me what these two don't know what they're talking about. 15 minutes! There is not one, there's about four facts

in that entire show and the rest of it is total nonsense. We really wanted to come to it because we had a preview, didn't we? We had a gig somewhere,

yeah. We sent other people to watch it so it was absolutely amazing. It was one of the funnest things we've ever done. Are you doing more of them?

Yeah, fingers crossed. I remember you being quite worried about it because before it was released to the comedy press, it went up on the British Museum website and sold out straight away from people who subscribed to the British Museum website. Yeah. So there was that worry that people who do that are not necessarily going to enjoy your humour. That's exactly right. We thought people would have thought, look at these young boys, they're

probably going to give us an interesting tour. Yeah. Let's book tickets now. So we were worried. But then what happened was that it rained heavily. And so because there were free tickets, a lot of people just didn't turn up. And so what we'd done in the interim was get it publicised in the comedy press. And so the comedy press, some of them had failed to acknowledge that it was sold out. So they made it look like it had come. So what happened was a load of people turned up who had come to see a sketch comedy show and they were able to get in because a lot of people just thought I'll sack it off because it's poor and great. And I think that did help us. And what also helped us is my friend, I told my friend exactly that and she said

I'm a member of the British Museum mailing list and I like your comedy and this is exactly the sort of event that I would go to. So I think there were just loads of people who... It was a nice crossover. Yeah, it was a nice, it was a really nice crossover. But they would have messed up as well, all them boffins and that, because, you know, you have got a, you know, I'm talking about a silly humour, but it is also a clever humour. It's a lovely description, that, definitely.

I think it's really coming back. I've not heard the word boffin used in about 15 years or the boffins or the boffins I use it in my affluence you can have that

for your places for the next British Museum tour not just the silly humour but clever humour good for the boffins yeah I hope the

boffins don't miss out you can have that definitely you're welcome that was brilliant what's your social life like at the Fringe?

You're looking at it mate. I see it all the time. I see it sometimes. No that's right but you're fine with it sometimes.

Just me hanging around outside your show. But you know what actually I'm not because I'm not really a social butterfly at Edinburgh

at all. No. But this year I'm finding it actually quite restrictive not being allowed to be. But you were last year. Yeah. we stayed out and had drinks and stuff. Yeah, I was out boozing and all.

No, no, no. No, but you were out. But being social, I think, in fact, I think that is more sociable than boozing. Yeah, yeah. Just having a chat. I've not even had one for bambuca this year. Oh, really? Not this year?

Because the consumption of bambouka shots, which, for the benefit of the listeners, is sambouka, was one of my highlights at the Fringe. Watching you get roundy after a sip of bambouka. Not the whole shot. A sip of bambouka. He sips them like a bambouka. Sips them like a cat.

So, Mish, what I'm saying is, can we go for a bambouka tonight? Yeah. I can't. I've got another gig. So, Mish, what I'm saying is, can we go for a bum bicker tonight? Yeah. I can't, I've got another gig. Mish, I want to talk to you about reviews and stuff, because we're not reading reviews. Yeah.

And the other day, you got a review, which you read. Yeah. And then, you shouldn't have read it, because for the rest of the week, it's like someone's let a little bit of air out of you. Really? Yeah. You're a little bit deflated, aren't you? Yeah, I just think that I don't have the discipline that you two have. Because I did say initially, I'm not going to read any reviews.

I'm not going to know who's coming into my show. I'm not even going to check the numbers every day. I'm just going to go out and do it as best as I can. Literally, five minutes into the tech rehearsal, I was like, oh, I'm going to be top of it. I don't know. I Google my own name obsessively. It's the worst thing that I could do

because it doesn't, no good comes of it. No, but you can get, by all means do it when the fringe is finished, do it then, find out all the things that happened.

But while it's happening, all you've got to do, and this is coming from a long years of experience, all you've got to do is just go show. And I think even, probably this year

is the first time I've truly done it. Last year we didn't. We read all the reviews last year. We saw, but they got to us. People send them to you. Whereas this year we've been far more ruthless about it. What you can't avoid is if you have a good review and it's on your post. We went down last night and there was a good review and a new review on our post which we can't avoid that because it's just there. We went down last night and there was a good review and a new review on our poster. Yeah. Which we can't avoid that because it's just there, you know,

we pay people to do that anyway. It's got to be there. However, there's a little quote and the star's on there on our poster but we didn't then, or I didn't anyway,

go home and read the rest of it. No, no, I didn't either. You see, the thing is that I've got, because, particularly for the last two years, so the two years that Ed and I were doing shows together,

we were doing free-for-in shows and actually, in a way, those were the kind of funnest shows we did. Because even when we did student review, we still felt a certain pressure because it was a paid show. But with those two free-fringes, we were just doing material, just working on the show and having a really good time with it. But then for the last two years, Tom and I have been producing shows. No one's brought us up. We've done finance to ourselves. So you've got to. We're on our own PR, so you've got to. You've got to, absolutely. You've got producing shows. We've not, no one's brought us up. We've done finance to ourselves. So you've got to, yeah. Run our own PR.

So you've got to. You've got to, yeah, absolutely. You've got it constantly. And so we, Googling my own name is, may sound like one of the most egotistical things you could do, but it's slightly a habit that was the result of us having to do our own marketing. So last year we would have to Google to see, has the review come out? We need to get it on there. We need to kind of put it up.

So unfortunately, I now have you know people who are looking after that side of it for me but what I'm struggling with is letting go of that element of control

and I am being told by everyone including the people who are in charge of it that I need to ease up a little bit because I'm going to draw myself up the wall

your show will be better man if it's simple as that your show will be better and you'll be far more focused on what you're doing

I'm not saying your show's rubbish and you'll make it better what I mean is like you said at the beginning

of this it can only have a negative effect it can either make you complacent or it can make you depressed

they're the only two things that can happen as a result of it this is the first year I've properly done that as well I've tried to not

read reviews and I know that I'm going to enjoy the show tonight I'm going to go out there really excited because we had a good one last night. Yeah, yeah. But if we'd had that good one last night

and then I read a rubbish review of another night today, I wouldn't enjoy it as much tonight. And then the show suffers as a result. But also, if you read a brilliant review of last night, that would also be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cocky, cocky, yeah. As far as I'm concerned, this is going well.

Yeah. And I don't need anyone to tell me that it's not. Because I will take that fully into account. That's exactly the way... We're enjoying our shows, and I am really having fun with it. But, you know, it does... Did you have a bad review? Was it a bad review?

No, it wasn't a bad review at all. It was a really lovely review. Oh, is this the Chortle one? Yeah. You're on Chortle now, mate. You haven't got a voice. You haven't got a voice. You haven't got a voice. Mate, just say four stars

and then you can put four stars Chortle technically. Technically. Chortle sort of. Okay, I'll help with this. So, this is another sub-part of it. Not only should you not

read your own reviews, you shouldn't read anyone's reviews. Yeah. But nothing at all. Yeah. Keep away from it. Although Chortle

is a lovely website. I'd do a website of choice by the comedy connoisse from it. Although, sure, it's a lovely website. I had the website of choice by the comedy connoisseur, I would imagine. So, it was a really good review and you got, was it three stars? Yeah, it was just,

because it's really frustrating because it's a really lovely review. Yeah. But it's just, I can't put it on the poster. Everyone who's said it to me from back home and there, I've always been

slightly baffled by it. Well, the thing is... They've all said it's not a three-star review. It's that classic thing. The greatest cliche for an

energy debut is I've got a three-star review for Reads Like a Four. It's the one thing that I wanted.

The weirdest thing is I keep trying to say that without using the phrase Reads Like a Four, but I am

saying Reads Like a Four just in different, oh, it's consumed in the manner a review that has less than five but more than three so I keep trying to spin that round but then the flip side is that I read two really nice reviews yesterday and then I don't know what's

shown around so far so I think it's you're you're absolutely right. It does you no good to read anything that anyone's read. I haven't tried to steer clear of like, like before, when I came to Edinburgh as a comedy fan as well as performing it,

I would be like, oh, who's supposed to be really good this year? I'm going to see all the shows that I've got. I've been trying to avoid all of that as well.

Yeah. People going, oh, you heard about, they're very good this year. Yeah, okay, that's fine.

Because the thing is, because the thing is, you're one of those, you're one of the people so you're one of the performers now the real performers so it's like

I think I said to you last year I'm sure you came back you came back to something you'd seen one day and you were like it's absolutely

it's so good this is just so good and I was like just don't tell me then you go well is ours not as good or is ours not all it can do

is really distract you and also we should emphasise as well that to a comedian, three stars is horrible. You know, to a comedian, it's not. One star is better than three stars to a comedian. And five stars is better than three stars to a comedian.

Three stars is very, no. Yeah. That's fine. One star, you can go, well, they obviously didn't get a lot of love. Obviously a little bit too edgy for Billy Review. And five stars you go, yes, you're completely correct. But three stars you go, oh, come on. That doesn't mean anything.

So I get it. It's not even just that as well. There's also the practicality of me going, I need to figure out what way to sell tickets because I've got no audience. Okay.

So it's with your debut hours, like those reviews are as much a marketing tool as anything else. Yeah. So what you're hoping for is of course, so you can stick that on the fly

because, you know, if you look at my poster and you go, oh, from the Gentleman of Pleasure. Yeah. A show I've got. Outstanding. And oh, he seems to have done some other. Yeah. A show I've not heard of. Outstanding. And, oh, he seems to have done some other things.

But, Nish, I have to say, for us, the show is truly the best show we have ever seen. And, you can use all this. And what wonderful funny jokes in it, but also clever. Very intelligent. One of the best comedy I've ever seen. Three stars. Some funny bit. Three stars. Some funny bit. Three stars,

some funny bit. How was that? How was that for a little quote for you? Lovely. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Well look,

well this is your opportunity now. People who listen to this, I would imagine that they've enjoyed your company, buffered by us. I would imagine

they've enjoyed listening to you. That's the thing about this, you're very entertaining in a group. Yeah, you're considered and

you're well spoken, you're a nice young man and you're a funny little boy, we've found that on the podcast so far.

So, people are now going, well where can I see Nish Kumar? This is an ideal opportunity now to speak to the thousands of

people in the world and say, go on. My show is called Who is Nish Kumar by Nish Kumar and it is on at

8.20 at the Daisy Room which is the underbelly venue in Bristol Square in Edinburgh Scotland England

the world that wasn't a bad one that was alright three stars three stars for that three stars for that

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars

three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars three stars, three stars, and Gamble. Nish Kumar there, friend to me, friend to you, friend to all the world. But we would have had him on anyway.

Yeah, we would have done, yeah. Even if we weren't friends with him. Because he's good. Yeah, but we have decided, you might notice with these podcasts, because there's some, you know, big famous bods, and there's some people that aren't particularly well known, you know, some that are known well on the circuit, and we try and mix it all with the podcast so you can hear about new people, and you can have the experience of listening to the famous people get befuddled by having to speak to us.

But the rule we've had on this podcast is we won't interview anyone that we don't like. So that's why these interviews are so brilliant and five

stars from Chortle. But we like more people than we've had on. If you're a comic listening to this and we've not asked you for an interview,

it's not that we don't like you, that might not be why. There's also comics we've asked for an interview who haven't got back to us. So that's your be why yeah there's also comics we've asked for an interview who haven't got back to us

yeah so that's your fault they'll be whining later on when we're picking up the Sony award yeah and going well I would have actually been on that

but anyway our show is Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway at the Pleasant's Dome Dome at 9.40pm every night and it's selling very very well

so do get tickets if you can yeah and come and see us have a laugh down at our lighthouse yeah we'll have a great time

and then you'll be as baffled as we were over that review. Right mate. What? You're going to have to let this go. I'm being an ungrateful little

shit. See you tomorrow. Bye. Horrible little shit. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production hosted by

Chalkpool.co.uk. Today's guest was Nish Kumar and my show is called Who is Nish Kumarumar all music by thomas fun the ray that poor boy his name is always a question thomas fun the ray it's written phonetically it's fun the ray oh fun the ray no it's not dirt it's fun the ray thomas fun the ray yeah but no where's the question mark that's someone's name

you just went oh he's by Thomas Fondare he's from another country mate I thought you would understand that that's a difficult thing you great big racist no thanks very much for coming in

nice coomer yeah imagine that if we'd done that nice coomer right finish it off with the last bit see you tomorrow.