The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 12 (Thom Tuck)

Episode Date: November 29, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 12 (Thom Tuck)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 97 of 128.

🎵 Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Because it's not Ed Peacock and it's not Ray Peacock and it is Ed Gamble. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Here they are. It's the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Oh yes, please. Here we are. Oh, quick intro today. Very quick intro.

Quick intro today because a little boy here, Ray Peacock, that's me. Very tired boy. Very tired boy. And Ed Gamble over there. Hello, Ed Gamble over here. Hello, Ed Gamble. Slightly less tired, but still a little bit tired. Yeah, I was so tired this morning, right, that Ed had to put me in the shower.

Had to put you in the shower, didn't I? Yeah. Well, I had to lead you from my bed, which you climbed on top of and started cuddling my legs. Was that not nice? Yeah, that was lovely, in a way, but I started to get a little bit worried then because it looked like you were just going to live there. Yeah. So I had to lead you from there.

But I had a nice cuddle of your big long legs. Yeah, you did. It was nice. Lead you from there like a nice little boy, right? Take you to the front of the bathroom. Make you put your arms up, take your T-shirt off, take your tracksuit bottoms off, put you in the bathroom to have a shower. Yeah, I went in and had a shower.

Yeah. And I washed all my bits, but I didn't do it very well. Oh. Because what I did, I eventually did it fine. Yeah. But I was so tired that I put shampoo in my hair. Yeah. And then, I don't know what my mind was thinking, but I put shower gel in my hair as well.

Yeah, well, let's just get your hair nice and clean. It looked very clean. Thank you. It's extra clean today because it's been shower gelled and shampooed as well. Well done, mate. Thank you very much indeed. Very good. I had a late gig last night.

Yeah. Kicked off. You did or the gig? No the gig kicked off in the room. There was a man there was a drunken

man in the room. Yeah. And do you know what he wasn't even doing anything wrong really. He was just a bit too drunk.

Right. So Wittank were on first the sketch bit of Wittank. Yeah. And they did this bit it was a sketch about Hardy dying

that kiss me Hardy and they were saying, oh what were his last words? And then they do a thing where he says something different and then the other one said, what was his last words? And he said, Kiss Me Hardy and the man who was drunk went, he didn't say that! He said something else!

So he was just joining in, I think he just thought it was real. And then the bouncer went in, like really heavy handed and twatted him. It was really quite disturbing. Was it a bouncer or was it someone doing a play? No, it was a. Yeah. And then the bouncer went in like really heavy handed and twatted him. Oh. It was really quite disturbing. Was it a bouncer or was it someone doing a play? No, it was a bouncer.

Was it someone from the play bouncing? Well, I actually had to say because at the point where it kicked off Piff the Magic Dragon was on doing his act and it was during that

and the bouncer just body slammed him into the floor this bloke. Not Piff. Not Piff, no. Because there's nothing more horrible than seeing

a man dressed as a dragon with a tiny dog getting body slammed. Yeah, getting body slammed. Although, you know, it's art, isn't it? It's art. Fringe, isn't it? Yeah, fringe, isn't it? So I had to go and compare it after that, and I said, and we like to bring you a selection of things in this show. So you have the magic on the stage, and in the back over there, you're probably a bit worried about what that shouting was in the back, and that was a student group. That was a student group doing their play, Heavy Handed Bouncer. But yeah, it wasn't very nice.

It doesn't sound very nice. Yeah, the first thing at the Fringe this year that's been a little bit sort of sickening. I did that gig the night before. It was a lovely one, I did it. Yeah? Yeah, all nice and gentle. No, I've done a few of them where they've been lovely. No, every night when you've done it, someone's been hit. So do you think it's me?

I think it's you. You're just a very aggressive persona. I'm not aggressive, actually. I am a nice boy. And I bring all the niceness. Ed has just done his stupid laugh again. Sorry. Which hurts everyone's ears. Sorry. So today on the show we've got Tom Tuck.

Thumb Tuck. Thumb Thuck. Thumb Thuck. Yeah, that's a good one. I call him as a joke. Yeah, Tom Tuck. But not to his face. Of the Penny Dreadfuls and good solo act and brilliant guy.

And have a nice clap and he's an actor as well. Yeah. And do you know what? This show today, this interview today, brings you lots of different art. It does. It brings some music, which we couldn't stop him doing. Yeah. It brings you some brilliant improvisation.

Yeah. And some marvellous acting. Yes. Particularly, I think, from a young lad over here called Ray Beacon. An up-and- improvisation. Yeah. And some marvellous acting. Yes. Particularly, I think, from a young lad over here called Ray Peacock. An up-and-coming actor. Yeah, and I've done some of my brilliant acting, and you'll hear that in the interview coming up. And if you want to see me do some more acting, a bit,

then why not come to our show? Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40pm at the Pleasant Dome. Dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome. Dome, dome, dome, dome, dome. Dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome, dome. Lovely, what was that one? Just a load of domes. Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dumوم very nice I've been enjoying them just having a genuinely nice time doing the show do you know what

if you want to come and see a show which isn't just a stand up showing off or isn't someone getting all upset about their dad dying or something or any of the fringe shows that happen these days then why not come and watch too lads just enjoying spending time in both each other's company

and the company of the audience we're very grateful that you're there and thank you so much for coming. You won't get picked on. No, none of that, is there? Just a couple of lovely guys. Well, last year's show there was quite a bit

of audience interaction and this year's show... Not this year, we've written it this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hardly any at all. Yeah, I know. In fact, none at all.

Sort of, but nothing that requires the audience to do anything. No, no one has to get on stage or anything like that. No, no, no. Which is, I think, a nice way of doing

the show, really. Unless, of course, you pipe up in the show and then I will send my mate the bouncer in to body slam you. Yeah, from the student group. Yeah, just get the bouncer

from the student group and he'll twat you. Yeah, definitely. No problem at all. We actually do genuinely appreciate the support this year. There's been more support

this year than there was last year. Yeah, definitely. Certainly fans of the podcast are coming to see the show and enjoying it. Meeting people afterwards as we said the other day. Yeah.

Always have a nice time. We're usually outside the Dome Dome. Yeah. I am saying it now. I'm fully on board with this Dome Dome. It's brilliant. I said the other night on stage, I said, we're at the President's Dome Dome. I think there's a good chance, you know, that next year...

They'll change the name. It will be called the Dome Dome. Yeah. Because it's been known as that for too long. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So if we all start doing it then that can be our unique gift

to the fringe yeah apart from our show oh our show is a sort of a gift it's not unique it's like me and Aaron it's not really a gift

either is it because people have paid for it have you done any reading while you've been up here reading no I've done no reading

I've not played on the PS3 I've not watched any of the films that I've brought up with me the PS3 is bothering me because the PS3

is set up in the living room yeah and. And I've not played it once yet. We should have a little go on it one day. We should have a go on it. What game should we play? House of the Dead. Rugby League. Brilliant. Great idea. What's House of the Dead? Like shooting. Shooting what then? Zombies. Don't agree with that. You don't agree with shooting zombies? I think it's racist and I don't know why. They're not a race zombies. I don't know why there's been this new thing that it's alright to kill zombies. Well because they're already dead. So that's even worse. No it't know why there's been this new thing that it's alright to kill zombies. Well, because they're already dead. So that's even worse.

No, it's not. That's just for the sake of it then, isn't it? So you're not killing anything. If they're already dead, then you're killing them for the sake... No, but they're trying to kill... No, you're trying... You kill them because they're trying to kill you. How do you know?

A zombie's never caught up with someone. It has. It might just want to give it a cuddle. Of course it's caught up with someone. That's why they're a zombie. Because they... A zombie has caught up with them. And what do they do?

Eat the brain. Well, that's alright. That's not alright, mate. But then what happens? You become a zombie. Because a zombie has caught up with them. And what do they do? Eat the brain. Well, that's alright. That's not alright, mate. But then what happens? You become a zombie, so it doesn't kill you. It does. You die and then you're a zombie. They're just letting you in on their group.

No, they're not, mate. They're saying, come on, come and join our gang. Alright, well, that's fine. If there's a zombie outbreak in Edinburgh and you see Ray, everyone else locking themselves in shopping centres and in their house, you just see Ray in the middle of the street going, hello, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Oh, that tickles. Oh, is that a flyer for your show? Yeah, the zombie show. Yeah. Is there a zombie show this year? I'm sure there is. Zombie Macbeth or something. Zombie Macbeth.

Yeah. Zombie Bouncers. Yeah. The John Goodbar update. Yeah. Zombie Dracula on a bouncy castle. I think zombies get an hard time. And I just think it's come to a point now in the world, there's so much fighting.

Yeah. There's so much war and disharmony. Right. But come on, everyone. Yeah. Let's all be friends. Okay. Let's all get along with each other.

Yeah. Make friends with the zombies. Yeah. All right. And then we can all be a big zombie race. Okay. No one's bothered about eating anyone's brain anymore because we've already eaten all the brains already.

Yeah. Probably a three-for-all sexually I would imagine with a zombie. Yeah. Well I'd imagine they probably don't do that sort of thing. You don't see many

zombie marriages do you? No. They tend to just all hang around in a big group. Yeah well they're you know it's sort of free society isn't it?

It's liberating then isn't it? Yeah it is yeah. Yeah it's kind of bohemian. Like the 60s. Yeah it's just like that and then

and probably don't have any sort of sexually transmitted diseases because you're already a tip. Yeah. You're already rotten. Yeah. So let's all be zombies for a bit. Okay well good luck because you're already a tip. Yeah. You're already rotten. Yeah.

So let's all be zombies for a bit. Okay, well good luck to you with that. In the meantime... No, it can't be just to me. Mate, good luck with you. Good luck with you for that. Thank you. Again, you're just separating us as a group.

So we all need to agree with you now? Well, look, what's wrong with this lovely, harmonious idea that I've had? That we are all zombies? Because people need their brains eaten and they get killed. But then they are still walking around. Mate, I... So, hey, right. Here's good bits of being a zombie.

Right. One, loads of exercise. Right. Because you are walking about all the time. But very slowly. And holding your arms up as well. I suppose that's good for the upper arms, isn't it? And the upper body as well.

It's a lovely way of being. Yeah, yeah. Just hold your arms out. Hold your arms out. As you're doing your exercise walking around. Two, there's no unfaithfulness or marriage breakdown

because there's no marriage. It's a sexual free-for-all. Right. I don't think zombies have sex, mate. So all they think about is brains. All the zombies

have sex with the brain. All the zombies... No, no. They eat the brain. They don't have sex with it. Oh, and what happens after you eat something? It goes through your body

and out of your penis. No, it doesn't. That's what food is. Where do you shit from? What do you mean? What? What? You eat your food and then you shit out of your penis. Shit out of a bit of the water that comes out of it. Yeah, but where does the food come out? That's the water. No, it's not. Where does the poo come from? The what? We're going to have to talk about you, mate. If you're not doing poos, I'm seriously worried. If I'm not doing poos? Right, we're going to have to talk about you, mate. If you're not doing poos, I'm seriously worried. If I'm not doing poos? Right, we're going to have a chat about this. Firstly, your weird zombie impression.

You think zombies are walking around all day for exercise and then fucking brains. And then the fact that you're eating dinners and not excreting them. What's excreting? A brown lump of shit comes out the back of you when you've finished eating. Comes out of my back? Right, ignore this. This is weird. Ignore this.

This is an interview with Tom Tuck. I apologise. This has been one of the worst introductions we've ever done for someone. Where Ray acts like he doesn't know what poo is. How's that for a dynamic? How's that for a set-up of a joke? We've decided that a brilliant concept for today's podcast would be that

Ray doesn't understand the notion of doing a shit and that's just a small portion of our humour just a taste of what you might get

if you come and see us 9.40pm every night in Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway at the Pleasant's Dome Dome with a zombie band

from now onwards with a zombie band and that was a genuine idea we had at a telly meeting once we do want to be on the telly they just won't let us on because we say, zombie band, it's in a lighthouse, and what's the shit? Here's Tom Tuck. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.

Right, I'm telling you now, Tom Tuck, you can't be playing that. Why? Because we edit it. Right, so then they'll have that, and it'll all be cut up like Björk. No, but you could do an individual song, maybe. All right. Do you want to start your interview with a song? Yeah.

Oh, no, I'll do the one I used to do as my warm-up last year. Now, is it going to be rights protected? Are we going to get in trouble for having the song? Oh, yeah. Shall we just explain? Tom Tuck, who is our special guest today, has a flying V, like a flying V ukulele. Would that be the right way of describing it?

Precisely that, yes, sir. All right, let's try it. Go on, let's try it. Be still for a second while I try and try to pin your flowers on La la la la And this has got you in the mood for comedy, didn't it? This got you up for doing your comedy show. Alright, carry on, carry on.

Can you hold my drink? I have everything else I can tie my tie By myself I'm getting tired And I'm forgetting why Shall we crack on to our interview with Neil Hammond? We're so disoriented In everything we do

Believe It's diving, diving, diving Diving off the balcony Tired and wild And ruined too easy Ed Don't ruin it What's happening? Shut up Ed. Don't ruin it. What's happening? Shut up.

You told me you were booking comedians. I didn't know we were going to have musicians on it as well. It's nice. It's a nice change. Lie around together with our arms around the stereo For hours Right, this is rude. Sorry, Tom. Stop playing, he doesn't appreciate it. That's genuinely made me angry.

It was really lovely, I was enjoying it so much, but I'm a bit tired and it's lulled me off. Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Thank you very much for having me. That's alright. Well, you were right. You've come straight in. You've bowled straight in, all flustered. Yeah.

Bowled in with a big pork pie and you've sat down with a knife and just eaten a pork pie. I did offer you the pork pie. I did. I would have bought myself an individual pork pie had I not been able to offer it. I had a little bit of it

and you've also got all mini Twixes. Yeah, a mini Twix. I've got a little pork in front of Ed even though he's diabetic. Baby bells. We'll have that another day. I'll save that. That's in front of Ed, even though he's diabetic. Baby bells. We'll have that another day. I'll save that. That's the sound of a baby bell wrapper.

Baby bell for the nice cheese. That's a lovely advert. Thank you. You're a busy lad, eh? I've been whining, not whining as such, but I've been a bit moany about the amount of work I've had to do this fringe. Even though I was ready to do it, and yeah, it'd be a lot of work, but you're a proper busy lad as well.

Yeah. How many shows? Four today, usually three. But that's every day? Yeah, pretty much. So you have like three or four and five, but then it's not every day? Not every day, no. How would you do it?

I don't know, really. It's just Dr. Theatre gets your throat. Does it really, though? Are you a fit man? No, God no. No? Does any lack of fitness affect how you feel? I'm a very sweaty performer.

Yeah, same. Same. I'm a bit of a bit of a hammer as well. But that shows that you're pouring your heart into it, doesn't it? I think so. So what are the shows... Do you sweat out a lot of the sort of tiredness? You mean the vodka?

No. Do you sweat out all the vodka? Yeah. The first show is at two. And that's very energetic. And that's Coalition, isn't it? That's the play that's on. That's the play.

What I'm doing in. Yeah, by the end of it, I'm really awake. Right. I used to stop up a couple of times. Are you the main one in it? Are you the main one in the play? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've only got two scenes off in an hour and a half. Wow, wow. So it's bombarding, you're right. But you do wake up. Yeah. We had our best one today. It was really nice.

Hey, busy? Paul. It's comediansians isn't it in the play a couple of actors as well okay John Dorney and

Jess Regan not comedians but then there's Simon Evans Phil Dubtis Alistair Behar Joe Caulfield nice

and are you a comedian and Phil Mulroney are you a comedian yeah how would you describe yourself yeah I'd like to do more real acting work but I don't get

any of it right okay we'll give you some of it now. We'll do some acting in a little bit. We'll do a play. Yeah, we're going to make up a play. We'll do a play about politics. Right, later on in this interview, exclusive, we're going to do a play about politics. You're doing the SNP?

Because it's called Coalition. What is it about? It's about the demise of the Coalition in Mountainton a couple of years' time. Okay. And I play definitely not Nick Clegg for legal reasons okay right right I play Rick Degg

don't I yeah right Matt Cooper our play is called oh the end of the Tories and the Liberals oh good title

right not a snappy oh what a lovely end of the Tories and the Liberals yeah that's what it's called that's what it's called oh what a lovely end

of the Tories and the Liberals right right and I am playing a working class miner. Right. Are you going to be in mining gear for the whole thing? Yeah, and I'm still upset about the horrific way

in which the Conservative Party destroyed an industry. And so that you've not got changed since the mines shut down. No, I'm still upset. Right, okay. I'm still picketing outside, as some of them still are. You can get anyone who uses coal. Yeah, I'd always beeped him as you go past the miners. Right.

Get out of the way. You're playing the liberal part of it. Yes. Right, well in this one, you're the conservative part of it. Okay, right. Right? And your name is... Jonathan the Swank Rich.

Mm. Right. Yeah, I think that's... Kiss my ring. Yeah, yeah. Porper. Kiss my ring, porper. So we've got a catchphrase.

I think every player still has a catchphrase. And Ed is a bear. Oh. Right, here we go now. Why am I a bear? Yes, I think it's because of a bit of excitement in it. Right, okay.

Right, okay. Here we go now. You can be the right honourable bear. No, no, no, no, no. You're a bear. Just a bear. Just a bear in a water. No.

Right, right. Here we go now for the opening scene, which will be the opening scene of our play, which is called, what was it called again? Oh, What a Lovely End of the Tories and the Liberals. Right, which will be premiering at the Edinburgh Fringe 2013.

Yeah. Right, here's just the opening scene. Eee, I'm right fed up, me, about all this. They're just not bringing all the mines back. And my family have all left me. I'm all on my own. I've got no money. Hang on a minute. Who's this coming down the road? Excuse me. Could you get out of the way?

It's that darned Tory. The one that is from our constituency. He's the one that was backing Thatcher, the old cow, when she was doing all the pit closures. You've got some nerve showing your face round here. Kiss my ring, you pauper, before I kiss your face with it. I'll have a bloody fight with you. I tell you now, you come down here, you stuffed suit,

giving it the big I am, after you destroyed industry and you destroyed families and entire villages and all the rest of it, we're still living in little houses now because of all you lot, why you lured it up in London. And if you think you can fight me, you've got another thing coming because look what I've got in my garden. A bear. I love a cat. I know. No, you can't talk. You're a real bear. Go on, fight me now. Attack me now and watch what happens. I shall get my peacock to do it. Go on, sling your hook. Scene. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock to do it. Go on! Sling your rock! Scene. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.

That's your first bit of the day, doing Coalition. Yep. Or next year it'll be, I want a lovely end to the Tories and Liberals. It's a six hour play as well, I'm envisaging it as. Right, okay. You perhaps won't be able to fit anything else in. Could it be an opera?

Go on. Yeah, alright, go on then. Yeah, go on then. But this year, back to this year, once you've finished Coalition at 3.30. 3.30. 3.30, what do you do then? I collapse into a chair. Okay. Yeah, go on then. But this year, back to this year, once you finish Coalition at 3.30. 3.30. 3.30, what do you do then? I collapse into a chair.

Okay. Have a glass of water, cigarette, and try and recharge before 10 past 8, which is Tom Tuck Flips Out. 10 past 8, which is Tom Tuck Flips Out, which is your one-man stand-up comedy show. Now, last year you did, what was the Disney show? Tom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD. Nice. And that was nominated?

As Best New Comic in my 10th consecutive year at the Fringe fantastic that's just how it works or the Mickey Flanagan

we were at the same venue as you last year so we saw quite a lot of you we saw the

muck that you left in the back room all your flyers were all over the place

spilt wine Disney toys strewn around the floor. Yeah. Simba's with me now. I saw you walking around a bar with Simba last night at about two, three in the morning just sort of tottering around holding a cuddly Simba.

Yeah. What's happened, mate? Are you all right? Well, Liam Malone had his raccoon out, which isn't a euphemism. So I thought I'd get Simba out and they could say hi. Is it a genuine comfort thing for you? Not especially, no. The other one just lives in the venue. But it's part of the straight-to-DVD show. so I thought I'd get Simba out and they could say hi is it a genuine comfort thing for you not especially

no the other one just lives in the venue but it's part of the straight to DVD show which you're doing again at 10 o'clock

at Canberra at 10 o'clock and you're doing that every night yep but 3 for instance start for the first few nights so I could get the other ones

going why why mate come on it's been really fun I know but you can spread this over 5 years. Why are you shooting all of it in the beginning?

Leave a bit in your balls, mate. Why are you shooting it all over the fringe face? Poor balls. You've be-karkied all the fringe up you have there. Your poor little tiny dry balls. Slow fly post it. You'll be here next year with your little shrivelled up knots. With nothing to talk about.

Well, just doing our brilliant play, which is going to be amazing. Oh, our brilliant play, which is six hours a night. Yeah, you can do that. You can do that with small balls because you are a Tory in it and we like the feeling of that.

So, Tom, so that's three shows a day. Why are you doing four today? What's going on? We're doing an improv show. Now, you're quite, are you a seasoned improviser? Yeah, all the time.

Obviously, we were able to tell from our little play there that you just made up. Just did it. A lot of people would have thought that was a script, but that was completely made up. No, I'm doing it, yeah.

You're a seasoned improviser. Well, I mean, I did improvising as well, so. Yeah, but no, yours was rubbish. Oh. So, when did you, you started doing improv,

you were an alumni of Edinburgh University, correct? Yes, and an alumnus of the Improverts as well. Of the Improverts, yeah. I suppose life's a big improv, isn't it? So you're practising all of the time. I've invented a new improv game. Do you want to try that?

Yeah, definitely. It's like Keith Johnson, isn't it? It's like Keith Johnson. Alan Bennett Improv. Nice. Brilliant. It's a one-pitch player game. Okay.

Ed, you can't have a twitch. You're diabetic. Oh, come on. It's a fringe, isn't it? Do you-punch play game. Okay. Ed, you can't have a Twix. You're diabetic. Oh, come on. It's for friends, isn't it? Do you want to play? Yeah. This whole podcast is people eating. He's got a mouthful of Twix.

You've got a mouthful of pork pie. People are listening to this. Well, they might think there's an advert for food in general. Yeah. I think food is pretty much covered. Food's doing all right. Yeah, it's not doing bad with food.

Why do they advertise milk? It's the one thing, then when you go, oh, I better get some pretty much covered. Food's doing alright. Yeah, it's not bad food. Why do they advertise milk? It's the one thing that when you go, oh, I better get some milk. Yeah, yeah. Milk's an advert for milk. Yeah. Empty milk cartons. Isn't milk advertised because,

for health reasons, don't they have a, isn't it a subsidiary of health? Oh, I agree. Make sure you have your calcium. Got milk? I thought that was a good new bit. All right, come on,

let's do this improvisation game. Right, so Alan Bennett improv. You say, who's got the best Alan Bennett impression? Probably Ed. You do an Alan Bennett, I'll do an Alan Bennett. We'll have a Bennett off and then the winner of that is the winner. And I'll be Steve Bennett. Right, what do I have to do for this?

I'm Alan Bennett, I'm just eating a Twix. Oh, a Twix. I remember when Twixes weren't even a real thing. I used to go and visit an old lady down the road. And she used to say, Bring us one of them Twaxes. And I used to say, You might have to do it.

That's not what they're called, Deidre. And she'd say, Oh, I can't keep up with modern life. And then she had a stroke. And it fell over. And nobody found her for three weeks and when they did find her

she was still there she was delirious and saying twacks twacks and it's the one time I said I'll get you a twacks

well that was lovely thank you I don't think I'll be able to compete with that in all honesty I think he's got the job right thank you alright

well done right thank you you'd be someone else from Beyond the Fringe think I'll be able to compete with that in all honesty. I think he's got the job. Right, thank you. Right, thank you. You'd be someone else from Beyond the Fringe. No, I'll be... What's mine be? No, no. Am I not involved in that? No. Now I've lost my part in this.

Right, I'll just sit here eating my fucking swacks. You say one word, then I say one word, and you've got to start with one of them and get to the other. That's Alan Bennett. Oh, nice, nice, nice, okay, okay.

You do the word first word. Horseradish. Statue. Horseradish came over to Yorkshire in around 1960. We'd never seen anything like it before. We looked at it and thought, it's so creamy, it's so nice, I can't wait to have a taste of that. Of course, Deidre down the road thought it was sweet. She had it all over her apple pie that she used to make with suet.

You'd soft pay extra for suet if you were staying at a B&B. But it were worth it for taste. But it were worth it. For taste. Anyway, it was a bit of a joke about Deidre. She always puts it on sweet stuff she doesn't know. We were having it on beef. We'd heard about it from the forces.

And one day, everyone in the village, we were all having a laugh and a crack about Deidre. Going, oh, it's funny that she does that. And Deidre died. It was terrible. We all thought, we've not helped. She had dreadful heartburn and it must have been getting worse. Having all that horseradish on a suet apple pie. There was a town meeting.

We all sat down and we thought, we've got to keep this in board. We've got to keep this inside and not tell anyone about it. Roedd ymgyrch y dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r dyn a'r tu ôl hi, byddwn ni'n rhoi'r ddiddordeb i gofio Deidre yn y ffordd y mae'n y ffordd. Wel, rydym ni wedi cynyddu £15,000, sef £5 miliwn. Beth y byddwn ni'n ei wneud gyda'r cyfnod? Rydym ni'n cefnogi Deidre yn y ffordd y byddai hi'n ei eisiau, yn y cyfan o'r stwm y ffordd. Nawr mae' square. Now it stands there, Deirdre, a lovely statue. Thank you. That was genuine. Thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed.

I feel like I'm the guest today. That was good though. Tom has come in and he has inspired us to put ourselves forward. Thank you, Tom. Thank you, Tom. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Your show last year, Tom Tuck, Go Straight to DVD,

obviously very themed, like a tight idea. You went through all the straight to DVD Disney films, told people what happened in them. It was the Disney sequels, wasn't it? So the ones when they, Disney traditionally,

after a big film like Aladdin or whatever, or The Lion King, they'll capitalise on that by bringing out a sequel that'll just be a bit substandard not necessarily substandard

generally substandard I thought Return of Jafar was brilliant it's alright I loved it they really miss Robin Williams but it's got

Homer on it and it's got Don Castellaneta doing Emma Simpson instead doing the genie yeah he's not as funny

he's alright though because that's the thing about Aladdin is it goes off on such wild things because the genie can actually do anything so they do

whatever Robin Williams has said yeah but also what's the parrot Iago Gilbert Gottfried

yeah so he plays it in both doesn't he yeah and I think he's my favourite character in Aladdin yeah

the second one is about him yeah yeah of he yeah and that I think he's my favourite character in Aladdin yeah the second one is about him yeah yeah of course yeah and Gilbert Gottfried is like rules it

he's fantastic yeah very very very funny man what's your best one of the sequels probably Cinderella 3

yeah because it really is better than it has any right to be right it's a it's a requel Right, okay What does that mean?

Well, they change the events of the first one To like sliding doors Oh, like Shrek Forever After I haven't seen that They do that in Shrek Forever After Do you know what? I hated the sequels to Shrek Yeah

And then one night I bought a 3D telly, right? Not on the night I'd already bought it Fuck it, I'm just going to buy a 3D telly Yeah, and I was just looking for 3D films to watch Because I'd bought a 3D telly Yeah And Shrek Forever a night. I'd already bought it. Fuck it, I'm just going to buy a 3D telly. And I was just looking for 3D films to watch because I'd bought a 3D telly.

And Shrek Forever After was on, I was like, oh, I'll watch this then. And I watched it, loved it. Absolutely loved it. I thought it was fantastic. And I did go back

and just changed all the events of the first one. Right, it's very interesting. So, the other three does a similar thing. Yeah, the sisters get the wand

and then they turn the fairy godmother into a statue of a fairy godmother. And they're horse-rabbish. You've got a the fairy godmother into a statue of a fairy godmother and they're horse rubbish you've got a statue you've got a statue

you've got a statue but like they've got they're using magic they could turn it into a statue of anything wouldn't they do

that is the crime we've done leave it there in rock it's like what should they have gone do you know what we could probably

kill her with it but then so then at the end they learn a lesson obviously and turn it back and then the very government

says to Cinderella shall I return you if you're far alive what because nobody's filled the bin and what's going on and she goes

never mind nice did you have trouble because Disney are sort of traditionally quite litigious aren't they but I'm not showing any clips

no you had to talk about it didn't you I don't know I've got no idea I guess you're allowed to talk about what happens in a film

aren't you do you use any of their music nope well my arrangement of part of your world nice nice I don't think that

I don't remember I didn't ask them but some Disney employees have seen it and didn't... Oh, okay. I just remembered I saw Donald Duck and he said it was fine. Yeah, that's true. Sweet. Just remembered that.

You've seen him, didn't you, walking around? Yeah, I was feeding him. I'm going to chuck him bread. Yep. Just once a day. Yeah. It's nice. He eats like a normal duck, weirdly.

He walks around like a bloke, but he just eats like a normal duck. He eats it. And then, do you know what he said to me? I've been doing it about seven months. And he came round with it. He went, you know I can just go and buy bread. Yeah. And I went, oh, I thought it just looks like a normal duck. He eats it and then do you know what he said to me? I've been there about seven months and he came round and he went, you know I can just go and buy bread. Yeah.

And I went, oh I thought I'd come and feed the duck. He went, no I've got like money and that. It's fine. It's fine. Like clothes and

a little hat. Yeah. Do you know any Norwegians? Do I know any Norwegians? Daniel Simonson? Yeah, I know him as

well. He's Norwegian. Well next time you meet a Norwegian, he's a comedian so like a normal Norwegian. Yeah, like a normal person.

Which is, ask them if they read Donald Duck comics. Right. And they'll say yes. Really fucking... They all read Donald Duck comics? They all read Donald Duck comics. That's like the Beano for them. Right.

But then they keep reading it. Really? 15, 16. Wow. Wow. That's weird. That's bizarre. I've started reading Smurfs again recently.

Yeah? I've got all the old Smurfs comics, and I find them very, very settling. I do. I genuinely do. I find them really settling to read. A really nice, sort of relaxing thing to recently. Yeah? I've got all the old Smurfs comics and I find them very, very settling. I do, I genuinely do. I find them really settling to read, a really nice, sort of relaxing thing to read. Yeah.

I read comics all the time but Smurfs isn't like the sort of comics I read. You like blue, just any one blue. Anything blue, apart from Avatar. I just don't like Avatar.

That's why you started strangling those women, wasn't it? Because you see the blue at the end. You see the blue at the end, yeah. I know, but then I do give them a nice kiss

and I dress them up nice. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. So the blue at the end. I know, but then I do give him a nice kiss and I dress him up nice. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. So the show, the show this year, is it as tightly themed as this year? No, no, not at all.

I think that would have been a stupid thing to do. Unless you had... Well, to do something as weird as the last one. It's a lot more straight sound.

Okay. I mean, there is a, you know is a theme and an ending yeah it's about roughly I think it's about

what it is to be human yeah small topic yeah nice nice as opposed to being an animal basically but you're right though

I guess if you did come back with another specifically themed show it would be like oh but he's been away and tried to think of something that would equate

to what he did last year yeah definitely I mean I think you get that not equate to what he did last year yeah definitely I mean I think you get that but not anymore because I think like with Dave Gorman for example

who we're big fans of and we like very much but Dave after you know sort of hitting with the big things you know with the Google WAC

and that sort of thing after that it was like well are you just looking for things to do and that well that's a part of what Google WAC is about isn't it

well Google yeah absolutely and Google WAC is incredible it's amazing yeah it really really is I mean you can it? Well, Google, yeah, absolutely. And Google app is incredible. It's amazing. Yeah, it really, really is. I mean, you can get the DVD of Google app still, and it's just utterly inspiring and utterly like,

wow, he's genuinely bearing something. I'm not going to say I like it because he bullies me on the internet. He does bully Ed. Gorman started bullying Ed on Twitter. And then when Ed tried to fight back, he's gone quiet, Gorman. Ed, right? Right. It wasn't Ed's fault.

Right. You know, the GoCompare adverts, right? Mm-hmm. You know... Geocompare, yeah? Ed, right? It wasn't Ed's fault. You know the Go Compare adverts, right? Do you compare it? Yeah, right. You know they've done new ones now. Apparently this is one of the adverts. The big billboards. Big billboards and they put he's back or whatever and then graffiti

over it as if someone's graffitied over it. Like, oh, we hate this or whatever. And I saw one and I thought it was real graffiti. So I tweeted a picture of it and everyone had a go at me and said I was an idiot. Dave Gorman was the only one who kept doing it for at least a month

after this. Kept going, I don't know if you remember this, Ed, but you were wrong about that. You see, the graffiti was put on as part of the advert. And then I joined in and sent him a picture of his poster which I had graffitied and called his PowerPoint presentation Dave Idiot Penis Presentation.

Yeah, which is a little catchphrase. That's a very good joke. Yeah, and then he went quiet. He went quiet. He's not quiet at all. So he can dish it out. He can dish it out. Oh, he can dish it out

but he can't take it, can he not? Absolutely not. He can't take it, Dave, can you not? You have a goat, Dave, as well. Yeah. Yeah. See, Tom Tuck's laid the smack a goat, Dave, as well. Yeah. Yeah. See, Tom Tuck's laid the smack down on the nail.

Like that. Just like that. Pick up and gamble, pick up and gamble. So, Tom. Yeah. You were very famously the horrible Penny. The horrible, no. What is it?

Penny Dreadful. I'll translate. You were in the sketch group, the Penny Dreadful. Which is right as I was. Which, of course, was three boys and two girls. Like steps, but the other way around. Four boys, then three boys. Right. Which is seven boys. Seven boys.

And you'd done all your sketches, didn't you? And made everyone laugh. With your musical numbers, variety bits, and of course your clever Oxbridge shit. We all went to Edinburgh. So all of that was wrong. Some of it was clever. You were in a sketch group

like Trainspotting. What? So you just heard Edinburgh and said Trainspotting. Trainspotting's in Leith. There we go. So that's the Penny Dreadful section done.

How many years did you do with the Penny Dreadfuls up here? Five. Five? Yeah. And it started as Victoriana... Victorian sketch comedy for two years.

Victorian sketch comedy. And then we did a Victorian play, which was very definitely a play, because then someone said it was a play, and then we weren't allowed to be congratulated on our play. Oh, right. Do you remember what happened? No, what happened?

Are we allowed to talk about that? Yeah, yeah. The day the nominations came out in 2008, there was conspicuously one less nomination on the main awards than there normally is. There was only four rather than five. And it's because they were going to nominate Penny Dreadfuls and then decided it was a play. Really? Yeah, as if we'd deliberately written a play rather than a delivery method for these jokes.

Yeah, and it was full of jokes. How could, like, you know, the argument is like, could anyone else do it? Could you hand the script to someone else? Really? Yeah. It's specifically for you lot. And it was sketches and characters

woven together in a story, which you could call a play, but it's comedy. Well, then really, in a way, our show this year, Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway, could be a play. Don't say that Well then really in a way our show this year Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway could be a play. Don't say that mate.

It could be couldn't it because it's me and you in our lighthouse. Yeah. And alright we break it up in little bits but there is a through line.

Yeah. So there was that whole thing that went on and after so that was Victoria. So do you know that for a fact? Is that just a fact?

Yeah. Oh yeah. Nika Rangas. Oh really? Yeah. And then she put us on the in the West End as part of the nominees show yeah yeah

but we hadn't been nominated we did double bill with Russell Kane we hadn't been nominated right that's yeah it's annoying

it is annoying it is annoying but the most retweets I've ever got was last year when Humphrey won Newcomer well that was clearly a play and Humphrey when Humphrey won Newcomer well that was clearly a play and Humphrey

was also the Penny Dreadfuls yeah yeah yeah okay okay he's a big lad isn't he yeah

6'7 yeah big lad how big's Greg 6'8 whoa we know someone bigger than him and Steve Merchant

I think he's 6'7 as well. 6'7, yeah. You know, he might be taller than Graham. They should do a sketch group. They definitely should, shouldn't they? Yeah, definitely. What's it like down there? Yeah, and they should do it.

With Sandy Totsvig. Yeah. But in a tiny room. Yeah. In the attic. And call it Vent Double. So after that, in the Penny Dreadfuls, And call it Ben and Double. Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble So after that

in the Penny Dreadfuls you just thought oh fuck this Victorian thing. Well we thought we couldn't really top it so we did Leatherman which was a spoofy 60s

spy thing. Yeah. Set in a theme park called Beef Island. Nice. Everything was beef themed. Nice. There was the beef coaster.

We had a tannoy that kept going, don't let the beef bugs beef. Why is that an R on Jeanette, by the way? It stands for relevant. I saw it in a tannoy shop. It was the only letter I had there. It made me really laugh. Are you done with the...

Is it finished, Penny Dreadfuls? No. No? It's all sorry for yesterday We've got a radio play to write Lovely We'll get back And we might put

Forever on again For a week Yeah Christmas or something like that Oh that'd be good It'd be fun You know you should do A radio comedy show

Rather than a radio play Yeah that'd be good Well and You're killing yourself In a photo The comedy department Don't seem to commission us anymore So we get commissioned

Through the drama department Oh okay Right right right Because you're so famously good at doing plays of course yes mate we've got passes

at BBC how do we get you in I've got a pass no but we've got special passes no but we've got a proper one can you use the photocopier

with your pass I don't think so we can with our one if we wanted to we don't use it have you got your pass with you I don't think so

it's on my desk oh yeah I bet it is because I haven't had to use it up here mine's on my desk. Oh, yeah, I bet it is. I haven't had to use it up here. Mine's on my desk, but my desk is higher. I've got a higher desk. That's where my pass is and my gold pass. Well, I might have left it in my bed and it's still off the bed.

Yeah. Well, I don't... I've got an hammock. I've got an hammock between the World Trade Centre. You can't say that. Why? I don't. No, it's an hammock.

It's lovely. No, mate. It was right between the World Trade Centre. Mate, World Trade Centre. When was the last time you went to your hammock? Ages ago. Right, yeah, it's gone now, your hammock. Someone's took my hammock?

Someone's took your hammock, mate. That was it. I hate to break it to you, but your hammock was the target of a major world terrorism. Only in New York can a man leave his hammock hanging between two buildings and it can't be trusted to go back and it's fine. Yeah.

Ooh, Nixon, Amok. Well, I think we could all agree that is one of the major tragedies of the 20th century. 21st. Ah, 20th. If I go, tell you what,

if I go back New York now, right, and I go in a bloody bakery or something and some beardy bloke has got it as his beard protector, I will be absolutely furious and I'll know it's mine because it's tartan and it's got it as his beard protector. I will be absolutely furious. And I'll know it's mine because it's tartan.

And it's got my initials on it. So I will find you, whoever you are, who's stolen my hammock from New York World Trade Centre. Right, I think we've all gone slightly mad. It's very warm in here, isn't it? It's a very hot day and we have to shut the windows and the door to record properly. And the argers on.

And the argers on. So we've genuinely turned this into a sauna. Tom Duck looks like he's about to record properly. And the Argers on. And the Argers on. So we've genuinely turned this into a sauna. Tom Tuck looks like he's about to pass out and Ray's talking about a hammock between the World Trade Centre. So I genuinely think,

Tom, plug all your shows. Coalition, which is the, should we call it a play? It won't get nominated. The sketch show. The sketch show. Coalition.

Political satire sketch show at 2pm at the Pleasant Stone. Yes. Then Tom Tuck flips out at 10 past 8 at the Dome as well Dome Dome and Tom Tuck

goes straight to DVD at 10 at Cabaret Voltaire and that is free that's free lovely who to can I come in

get in we can't mate it's on at the same time oh sorry hard luck there'll be no one there Tom it's been a genuine treat speaking with you.

Thank you, sir. I need, like, a lot of water, I think. Yeah, I think so as well. I think we'll call that a day. Thank you. Water! Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Oh, Tom Tuck.

And me displaying my talent. Very talented voice. Yeah. I'm going to start doing that more, you know. Yeah. In the interviews that we do. Yeah. Because I'm sick of giving promotions to other people.

Yeah. We should be promoting ourselves shouldn't we we should be telling them every day our show is at 9.40 at Pleasant's

Dome Dome and get them to come down to that instead yeah do that it was very good I think we could

edit together some of those things and make a little show reel of me doing acting yeah

well I've often thought I would be a good actor on the radio as well as on the telly and I think today I would be a good actor on the radio as well as on the telly. Yeah. And I think today I was barely recognisable in the characters that I come up with.

Yeah. Particularly my Alan Bennett. That was a very good Alan Bennett. Thank you very much. And not only was I concentrating on the voice, I was also coming up with the storyline as well. It was absolutely brilliant, mate. Yeah. Rock solid.

And the play for next year. Yeah. Get rid of all the Tories or get rid of them finally. Yeah. Whatever it was. Which I played a minor in. And also, I'm not arrogant or egotistical,

you were a very good bear. Thank you very much, mate. So all that remains for us to do is say goodbye to you now, the listener. Thank you. Tom Tuck is here now with the credits. And we shall see you again tomorrow.

We won't see you, but we'll know that you're there. We shall, that is a matter now. And we shall see you, fair listener, on the morrow. Good eve. Mmm. you there. We shall, that is a maxi now. We shall see you, fair listener, on the morrow.

Good eve. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production for Hop Hop Step. Posted. Ah. You're the first person to get that bit wrong.

Yeah. Well, that doesn't look like an S. Hosted. Hosted. Does it look like an S? Hosted. Everyone else has read it.

It's like a backwoods C. Alright, everyone else has read it. I like you try to pronounce a backwoods C. Yeah. In many ways it's adorable. The Bigger and Gamble Edward Podcast is a ready production, hosted by Chalkwood, but go to UK. Today's guest was

Blank Blank, and my show is Blank. All music by Thomas von der Rehe. See you tomorrow. Lovely, well done Blank. And my show is All music by Thomas Von Der Reh See you tomorrow Lovely, well done Blank