The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 14 (Nick Mohammed)

Episode Date: December 13, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 14 (Nick Mohammed)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 99 of 128.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Pickle and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Because it's not a Peacock and it's not a Peacock and it is a Gamble. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Here they are. Guess what? It's time for the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Are you alright, mate? It's funky, just finishing my champagne off from last night.

That's not, you were drunk last night, but that's not champagne. I wasn't drunk, if you must know. Well, you were actually, mate. You were a little bit drunk last night but that's not champagne. I wasn't drunk if you must know. Well you were actually mate. You were a little bit drunk. I wasn't. You were. I wasn't. You had a bambuca

before the show started. That's because I forgot that we had a show. I thought that yesterday was my day off. No, it was sort of a day off in that you didn't have

any other extra gigs but what you forgot about mate is our show because you've not written it in your diary. So pretty much every day I have to remind you that at 9.40, we are doing our show. Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway at the Pleasant's Dime Dome.

Yeah, I know, but the thing is, I've not got any room on my month planner. I've told you that anyway. But that doesn't mean that our show just doesn't happen. When I remembered about the show, I still came and did it very well. Yeah, half cut. I wasn't half cut at all. You were. You stand at the back as people are coming. Sorry, welcome everyone.

Welcome to the podcast. If this is your, again, I'll say it again, if this is your first, if this is your first time listening to this podcast, go back to the beginning. Go and start at the beginning.

And then this will make more sense in context once you've learned to love us. Yeah. Now, you stand at the back as people are coming in because you come on from the back. That's a little secret.

Not all of them though. I only go there quite late. Yeah, you go there quite late. So I see the stragglers. Yeah, the stragglers. The straggling people who get there a little bit late. But not too late, otherwise you won't get in. Please don't make that now part of your plan,

that when you come to our show, you'll arrive a bit late thinking that you're dead. Yeah, because if you miss time, you will not be let in. That's genuinely true. So yesterday, you'd had a sambuca before the show. Yeah. Bambuca, as you call it.

Bambuca. Bambuca. And Richard Herring came to see our show yesterday. Did he? God knows why. Good. Right. Probably to copy it.

Yeah. And you went and sat next to him in the audience. Yeah. Before the show. Before the show. I wonder what he was watching. You went and sat next to him and said, what are you watching? Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Weren't concentrating. You'd had a couple of drinks. Oh, I only had one bambuca. Yeah, but that's two units, isn't it? I don't know. What is it?

Three quid? It was three quid. I know. There's a lot of that in it for a sip of drink. Yeah, but you shouldn't be having that before the show, mate. Uh-huh. Don't just say, uh-huh. And then you had more afterwards.

You had mental. And we were sat outside in the gilded garden. Don't tell everyone where we go. Well, mate, I'm not going there I don't think we'll be let back in there oh yeah you'd had about

five sambucas yeah there was a man lying down and you took a picture of his like picture of his crotch and put it on twitter

yeah just running around like a madman just shouting bambuca all the time yeah going right up to people's faces

Nish shouting right in Nish's face going, have you ever had a crepe before? Really excited to know whether Nish had had a crepe. I don't know if he had them in his culture.

Basically, I had a crepe. I don't think we can be let back in there. I had a crepe. I had a crepe. I didn't really enjoy it. Why not, mate?

It just wasn't, it didn't feel right. It's because your mouth was coated in aniseed liqueur. Aniseed. That was the taste. Yeah, that's mouth was coated in aniseed liqueur aniseed that was the taste yeah that's what it is aniseed

yeah but I also had a normal drink just to keep me calm vodka cranberry I had some vodka and cranberry as well drunk

and then about at about half past one in the morning I mentioned the Tim Vine episode of the podcast and I remembered you remembered

that you still hadn't edited it yeah so you had a genuine panic on yeah as you sort of tried to sober yourself up we had to get genuine panic on as you sort of tried to sober

yourself up we had to get a cab back with you sort of rolling around in the back going I was Tim Vine

Tim Vine's jokes don't make any sense anyway yeah you'd be chopping up Tim Vine's jokes all around but luckily it

came out well yeah you managed it I liked him yeah I know I wish he would come out one night

and have a booger with me do you think he will you know where he is you know where he plays darts yeah I've also started there's time we're going to be. I know. I wish he would come out one night and have a booger with me. Do you think he will? Well you know where he is. You know where he plays darts. Yeah. I've also started there's a moth look.

It's a dead moth. I've also started Sounds like we're living in the room of the bloke from Seven. Yeah it's quite nice this house as well. Yeah it is.

I've started to think because flies come in my bedroom a little bit because I have the window open. Yeah and you're just friendly aren't you? Yeah and they all fly around in the same area.

Yeah. And I was getting annoyed with them and trying to kill them for a few days because they come right close to your face and I'm going ooh get away get away. Yeah, and you're just friendly, aren't you? Yeah, and they all fly around in the same area. Yeah. And I was getting annoyed with them and trying to kill them for a few days. Because they come right close to your face and I'm going ooh, get away, get away. Yeah, yeah. But now I've took a different tackle with it. Now I just do, try and chase them with my mouth. Yeah. I try and open my mouth and eat them. Yeah, you've turned into

a frog, haven't you? I've not caught any of them yet. Yeah, you need a long tongue. No, you play them at their own game. You play them at their own game? Yeah, so basically... So you run into massive light bulbs? Well, that's a moth. They know. They know that you're thinking,

I'm scared of that, and they know you'll get out of their way. They're like aggressive drivers. Right. They're like Addison Lee drivers, flies are. They just drive at people, don't they, Addison Lee?

When I've been in an Addison Lee, they just bully their way through the road. I don't like going in them. I hate them. No. They're bad drivers. Yeah, that's what, in our opinion, that's what flies are like. Flies bully their way through the road. I don't like going in them. I hate them. No. They're bad drivers. Yeah, that's what, in our opinion, that's what flies are like. Flies bully their way through the air.

Yeah, and there's loads in your room as well. Yeah, yeah. All in the same spot. Addison Lee drivers, I mean. Oh, yeah, loads of them. Just circling. Yeah, lost. They come at you and they think you'll get out of their way.

But if you just open your mouth and go at them, I'm going to eat you, I'm going to eat you, then they back off a bit. Can I just let you know that that might work for flies. Yeah. But that will not work for Addison Lee drivers.

So if I'm ever in an Addison Lee again. No, if you're... I shouldn't open my mouth and go for them. No, don't go for them. And if you see an Addison Lee and it's driving towards you,

don't just open your mouth and run towards it. Right. Because you will come off worse. Not necessarily. It might trick them for a minute. That they're driving inside

your mouth. What's any of this got to do with Edinburgh? I don't know, mate. It's Edinburgh podcast. Well, we try and steer clear of Edinburgh as a thing. We do, though. When we're at home, when we're here in our flat, we think, let's not worry about Edinburgh. Let's just have a nice dinner and a nice chat and a cuddle. Yeah.

I mean, we're still five short of selling out pretty much every night. Yeah. Which is starting to still five short of selling out pretty much every night. Yeah. Which is starting to really annoy me now. Well it's alright I'm sure tonight we'll just drop down to 20. You're really bugging

me. Don't worry mate. I don't know why no matter what happens how busy it is we're always five short. It's like when we do previews in London

we're always like three quarters. Yeah yeah. No matter what size the room is. I think that probably dictates how popular we are.

No but when we did King's Place we were three quarters and when we did Hen and Chickens we were three quarters. Yeah, yeah. King's Place I was like 250 or something and Hen and Chickens is like four. Yeah. Whatever that holds. We got three in that day. Yeah, we did cram them all in, didn't we? But it's all going very well down at our show, lovely stuff. We are having a nice time. We are actually. It's really good fun and I hope you would... I'm sorry, this is the burp cast today. It's

not the burp cast, it's not the burp cast that's horrible mate really disgusting manners gotta come out somewhere no you are invited into

people's ears and now you have burped all over it oh yeah that's a fair point I'm sorry for throwing it all back in your face

as it were so our show that is going so brilliantly and nearly full is Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway

9.40 at Pleasant's Dome Dome Dome and there's only five tickets left every night no don't even want to be on telly anyway 9.40 at Pleasant Stone Dome and there's only five tickets left every night no don't say that five tickets

so snap them up no no there's tickets you know there's tickets just buy tickets we don't know how many tickets are left do we not

no we could be sold out just buy tickets I think they would have told us yeah and we would have put on extra shows

yeah so our special guest today is Nick Muhammad is it Nick Muhammad today it is Nick Muhammad today episode 14 Nick Muhammad

well we've actually got two guests in this show have we we've got Nick Muhammad and we it Nick Muhammad today? It is Nick Muhammad today. Episode 14, Nick Muhammad. Well, we've actually got two guests in this show. We've got Nick Muhammad and we've also got Mr. Swallow. Oh, indeed,

Mr. Swallow. He's a character that Nick Muhammad knows. No, just knows him. He just knows him if you know what I

mean. Big wink. And Nick Muhammad is never there at the same time. Yeah. Even though he knows him.

I don't know how he knows him. I don't know either. If he's never met. They must have met on a website for people that look like them. And they look very similar. Yeah. So that's a nice interview coming up him. I don't know either. If they've never met. They must have met on a website for people that look like them. And they look very similar.

Yeah. So that's a nice interview coming up now. We hope you enjoy it. We love Nick Muhammad. I love him and all. Yeah. No, we. I meant we.

I know, and I love him as well. No, but who do you think I meant when I said we? You and that ghost behind you. What? It's the interview with Nick. We're here with the lovely Nick Muhammad. Hello. Muhammad, look at you.

Now don't be speaking all quiet like that. Alright. You've just been in the house speaking at a normal level. Okay. Don't get shy now. We've turned the microphone off

and now you're like, oh no, but I am not in character. But it's because we did the silence before and it made me want to be quiet. It puts lots of people off that.

It does. Now Nick, there's a continuing saga with our steps all the way up to our flat. Yeah. People get up, they're knackered, they're tired. That's what happens. There's 92 steps.

We've counted them. Possibly 93. What did you do? I came up, checked if you wanted anything from Sainsbury's. Went back down. Yeah. Went to Greg's. Came back up.

Yeah, exactly. You can make life half yourself, can't you? You can, exactly. But did you have a nice Greg's? Was it good? I had a lovely Greg's. I had a cheese and onion pasty. Yeah. Something with a crisp. Mate, you can make like half yourself can't you? You can, exactly. But did you have a nice Greggs? Was it good? I had a lovely Greggs. I had a cheese and onion pasty. Yeah. Something with a crisp.

That's orange juice. Right, okay. And this. Muffin. I had a little chocolate muffin. And that's a little chocolate muffin. And do you know what? I think of you as a little chocolate muffin. Every now and again sometimes.

Yeah. I think of you as a... Lovely handsome boy. Lovely handsome man. Thank you very much indeed. Thank you. What, I love the compliment from Nick... Lovely, handsome boy. Lovely, handsome man. Thank you very much indeed. Thank you. What a lovely compliment from Nick Muhammad there. Oh, nice.

Now, Nick Muhammad, I have got a few things. Stop waving, because people can't see that, can they not? And don't bang your drink on the table, because that gets picked up on the mic. Oh, wow. Now, we have got issue with you in a nice way. Okay. Because I was thinking, I was wandering down the street earlier on today. Yes.

As we interviewed Tim Vine earlier on today, so I had an early morning. And I went for a little wander, because I do, because I like to keep fit. And I went for a little walk, and I was thinking about you, Nick Muhammad, which is what I do when I'm having a guest in. Right. So I thought, let's have a think about that person and what they mean to me. Okay. Now, you're a comedian, stand-up actor.

Yeah. I mean, like, you are ubiquitous on TV. Oh, yeah. Like, stupidly. Oh, you've got your own channel now. I mean, you clearly ubiquitous on TV. Oh, yeah I mean you clearly know someone somewhere All the children shows has been on all the normal shows he's been on he crops up somewhere other than normal shows Yeah, Ricky Gervais ones been in them once The Miranda Miranda you were in that as well. What we're saying is though is you know you're well in aren't you

with all that lot and you do all the programmes and stuff now me and Ed you met because of you did you?

yeah oh because of the comedy fest yeah because you compare the comedy fest you normally you normally compare that well I'd done

I'd done it for like two or three years on the trot and they'd asked you and you were unable to do it. You couldn't do it. I think I was at a wedding.

You were at a wedding that year. And they have now got divorced. Oh. Well, I'm extra sad about that. Yeah, maybe we should. I have extra sad about that. They won't be listening to this. Because that means that a beautiful thing came out of that, me and Ed, obviously.

Yeah. But also sadness. Also a bit of tragedy. Came from that day yeah and maybe they're happier now that I'm not going to get bogged down I think possibly

me and Ed took all the positives in that day yeah maybe karma dictated that only one good thing could come of that day and that was me and I also remember

I think getting reviewed by either Palatinate or whoever was the press up in Durham and they either said that you were me or I was you. Oh, really? Yeah, I was on it. Typical student newspaper.

So somewhere, somewhere on Google, I'm reviewed as you or you're reviewed as me. I love it. You know something interesting about that day, which I'm not sure even you know. What's that? Is that originally, so it was originally Nick, then he couldn't do it. And then it was another act and they couldn't do it. Who was that? It was Russell Howard.

Really? Yeah, and then he was on holiday. I wasn't in charge of booking it. I think our producer went to Avalon and said, where do I go and get a comedian? And I went, well, Avalon have got loads of good people because I'm obsessed with comedy and stuff. So I went and got to Avalon and just asked.

And they said, why don't you have Russell Howard? I had no idea who he was. We were like, okay, we'll get Russell Howard. I had no idea who he was. We were like, okay, we'll get Russell Howard. And then he was on holiday. So then they got you. Right. So it worked out really well.

It worked out really well, but it did nothing for my ego. No, I mean, no. But, but, and if I really think... The fact that I was ahead of Russell Howard is probably not quite right. And if I think about...

As a competitor. If I really think about it as well, I'm a bit annoyed because things could be going a lot better for me yeah exactly it could be you

or us Avalon should have contacted you yeah shut up I thought Avalon represented you mate why did they not

put you in for that one well you were yeah so you were still Durham Review then I was actually my first year in the Durham Review

that was 2005 yeah and I was a professional comedian and now Ed is now working 2005 yeah and I was a professional comedian and now Ed is now working with me and I'm no further

along and how did it work out in terms of so you saw Ray forming and were you like I'm going to work

with him yeah very much he's like come on I saw him and I was like stop right he seems angry

that he's driven all this way who's that bloke over there sniffing that fit girl's t-shirt? Who's that? It was a girl from Leeds Tealights. I took a real shine to her, she was gorgeous. I was at the side of the stage and they did a quick change and she threw a t-shirt at me. And as I caught it, I went back on stage and I just smelled it.

it at me. And as I caught it, I went back on stage and I just smelled it. Speaking, and also first, another thing, the first time me and Ed performed together on stage was also with you. What, at King's Place? Yeah, it was the... Back in 2009? Yeah, we did the Beacon Fumble. That was, we actually performed together rather than being a live podcast format. So it was a live podcast, but we dropped sort of sketchy things into that as well.

Ah, so the first ah you came to do that you played the head of Tesco yeah I did and then I played Michael Jackson's agent

or something right his agent his doctor no who was the guy who did I can't remember his name the guy who directed this is it

Kenny Ortega Kenny Ortega yeah who played Fraser's doctor you did yeah I did you still have quite a lot

of stuff in there yeah I know for those of you that don't did Fraser's Doctor yeah there's still quite a lot of stuff in that yeah I know for those of you that don't know Fraser was a character who appeared in our oil podcast that we were doing

before the Edinburgh one he was a little unfortunate little boy no if you well that shows what you remember you announced his death three years ago

but yeah he choked on his own head didn't he he got the same thing I thought I brought him back to life no you didn't you did a lovely graph on the again. I thought I brought him back to life. No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

You did a lovely graph. Wait, on the graph you did. He did come back to life momentarily, but he's dying. No, what happened with Fraser was, his mother, one day,

somebody just turned up in the hospital where she delivered Fraser, saying that the baby's got mixed up and they gave her the wrong baby. Yeah. So she got a new Fraser. And, he only lasted a day.

And that's how it ended. An awful butcher shop accident. It was horrific. Pickle can gamble. Pickle can gamble. Now, me and you have known each other for many years. Oh, me and Edgar. We have.

Oh, so you've talked to Nick. No, but yeah, but we've all known each other for many years. Even some years before that, I have met Nick because we used to do the student comedy circuit together. So we met in...

Late 2004. That's when I started at Durham, so that would have been the first show Durham Review. Durham College of Further Education. That's what we call it on this podcast. Durham College of Further Education. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we met...

Because everyone we know from there has not gone into what they studied at all. No, absolutely not, no. I didn't go there. University of Life, mate. And Leeds. Nick studied rocks at university. I did J-Physics. Did you really? Yeah. Nick studied rocks at university. I did geophysics.

Did you really? Yeah. What a waste of money. I know. Has that informed any of your comedy up until now? Not yet, but there's a plan. There is a plan. To do a geophysical.

Do you have disappointed carers and relatives and things like that? They, I think, if I'm honest, yeah, initially they were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was doing a PhD in geophysics at Cambridge so they were like oh there we go money money money money and then they were like

oh alright jacking that in but now they're very proud yeah but you started it started quite well as well

like you always yeah it did actually but then I think there's always that period because I was still basically living as a student at the start of it because I was in Cambridge and so that was fine I think there's always that period, because I was still basically living as a student at the start of it, because I was in Cambridge.

And so that was fine. I think it was when I moved to London. I had to temp for a bit. Not too long, for like about six months, I temped for a Morgan Stanley. Nice. Yeah. I think Rob Rouse did.

Did he? I'm pretty sure he did, because I used to work with Rob Rouse quite a lot. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure that Rob Rouse worked for Morgan Stanley. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. And that was good.

I actually really loved it. It wasn't. No, it was. No, genuinely. I think it was like a sort of a sub-security company. Yeah, yeah. It was a bouncer at Morgan Stanley. I did trade support.

Wow. Still, to this day, I don't really know what it is. No. I was somewhere between the traders and IT, at least to run some of their systems. And I had access to loads of stuff, but I just didn't really know how it worked. And then I left after six months. Did you nick stationery? And then straight after that, there was a financial crisis. Is that anything to do with you? Catalyst.

That's what they call you, Catalyst Mohammed. That's a nice name, isn't it? Yeah, it's lovely. It's a lovely name. When did you do your first Edinburgh show? Solar Show. When did you do your first Fringe? No, first Edinburgh Fringe.

First Fringe was 2004, which was with Footlights. Yeah. Beyond the Joke. Who else was in that? Any famous as well? Yeah, Sarah Soleimani was in that. Oh, yeah. Johnny Sweet was in that.

Right. Ed Coleman and Raf Shirley. Don't know any of them people. I know all them people. I only know Nick Mammoth. Sarah Soleimani is in... Him and Her. Him and Her.

Right. Ed Coleman is in various bits and bobs. So, that was 2004. Yes. 2005 was your first solo show. First solo show. Back in Ed Coleman is in various bits and bobs. So that was 2004. 2005 was your first solo show. Back in town again, waltzing out of town. Yeah. Odd title.

Steve Bennett gave it two stars. Oh, what does he know? I mean, I like Bennett and we got on very well. His closing statement, and this was in 2005, I'd only just started, was there might be something in here,

but you're going to have to hack off so much flab to get to it you might as well not bother that was his closing sentiment yeah

so you got the sore out but he said a similar thing to us right and then Ed has worked really hard this year

after Bennett said that and Ed you are looking good and we're like we're going oh right well that's what

we need to do and I'm like I'm too old now my metabolism has changed. And Ed worked really, really hard as a young man. And then the review came out today, same again, four stars again. Turns out he was talking about the show rather than the actual musical appearance.

For me, I think he was talking about my show. Well, I would say, Nick, that that two star review that you got should have been a three star. In my opinion, Steve Bennett is always always one star short I think his eye that's what I think have you seen any five star shows

what you would consider a five star show this week Nick your show well guess what it got four stars today in Chortles

well I didn't see it you were there that night well there you go five star show you saw it Five Star Show It was excellent Thank you mate

Excellent Thank you No that sounds like You don't mean it No it was excellent It was excellent Give you the big deal We used to have a running joke

About Chortle didn't we Because you You always felt Your reviews Your reviews were Unfair on Chortle No I think The thing is

You wanted a good review I always wanted a good Because I think Steve's One of the hardest good review I always wanted a good review because I think Steve is one of the hardest not sucking up but he is one of the hardest working comedy

journalists out there and every review I read that he writes apart from your last one which was four stars rather than five I always agree with and I always think

it's great so then when I kind of get the criticism I think oh is it true is it true but then I suppose everyone's got to

have a matter of taste and I think that he doesn't go for character comedy and maybe sketch comedy as much as say, I do. Yeah.

And that's fine. But we used to go around trying to find him, didn't we? Yeah. I think it was a couple of years ago. We went to the

Say You Think You're Funny party or something after the final. I think I was happy with my, because I got three stars from Steve Bennett. That's the most I've ever

got from Steve. We were looking around for Steve to try and thank him but we both had a couple of drinks and we just stood on the balcony shouting Steve just going Steve Steve

Steve never found him there was one year he gave me three stars for a show and I saw him in the street and I threatened him oh what weird

actually with violence I threatened him with violence I said you have got to be shitting me yeah about three stars and then for the rest of that I was doing something cheap yeah

then the rest of that fringe I kept clocking him avoiding me yeah crossing over the road and stuff I think I was genuinely gonna hit him and I will one day yeah one

day I will genuinely punch Steve Bennett in the face two years ago I got I got four stars from Chortle and I was delighted and I knew it wasn't from him I knew that it was

from Curry and I'd seen it quite early on I saw Steve like later on that evening and I just sort of I knew it wasn't from him I knew that it was from Corey and I'd seen it quite early on I saw Steve like later on that evening and I just sort of went over to say oh thanks so much you know it's his website and everything I said thanks so much

like immediately he was like it wasn't from me and he was so proud but you know he's brilliant he's also susceptible to bribery is he?

last year we only had 15 people in the audience when Steve was in and he sat at the back and he was and you could see him all the way through. The show went well, but there were only 15 people, so we were a bit disappointed. And then after the show, Ray got £250 cash out of his wallet

and threw it at Steve Bennett and went, Oh, please, Steve! It's the shower of money. Did it work? Four stars, thank you. We should emphasise he didn't keep that. And we should also further emphasise that us having this podcast on Chortle does us no favours. If anything, it works the other way.

He certainly doesn't do me anything. He hasn't been in to see me yet. Oh, has he not? No. I think he's lined up at some point. Well, I noticed when you were waiting to go into, when you were sat in the audience at Arsham, because I'm at the back of the auditorium. Yeah.

Auditorium. And I was having a little look at the audience and that. Back of the upper balcony. And I saw Steve Bennett look over at you and tut. Oh, really? Because you were sat in a chair at a comedy show, which could have started at any point, and you were kissing and necking

and feeling I love a necking You were feeling each other up I kissed my girlfriend on the cheek You were having a kiss on her cheek

I was behind the curtain at the back and I could hear you All I could hear was Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Big Mohammed she was saying and then I believe you came over and said get a room yeah which bearing in mind you don't know her she was petrified and then you went oh I take your top off and you're doing it in character

and she was going oh Mr Swallow I thought you were sexually ambiguous as a character so Mr Swallow is that the character you're doing this year

yeah I've never seen Mr Swallow ever you're not no I know nothing about Mr Swallow oh okay so for the benefit of me and the listener some of whom won't know you some of whom will I've never seen Mr Swallow ever you're not no I know nothing about Mr Swallow at all

so for the benefit of me and the listener some of whom won't know you some of whom will can you give us a breakdown of Mr Swallow please

Mr Swallow is a character I've been doing since 2004 based on the teacher that I used to do an impression of at school

the reason why it's sexually ambiguous is that it's based on a woman so I play it as obviously as a man but it just

becomes very camp but not camp as in there's innuendo in it it's just ambiguous is that it's based on a woman. So I play it, obviously, as a man, but it just becomes very camp, but not camp as in there's innuendo in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it is a woman. First name, Wendy. Because that was the name of the teacher. Mr. Wendy Swallow. So Mr. Wendy Swallow is the full name, but no one knows about Wendy.

Last year you were on there, the year before, the last set of shows you did was also Mr. Swallow. Was also all Mr. Swallow. And the thing is, this year is slightly different. It's slightly more self-consciously me playing Mr. Swallow, and there year is, I mean, the thing is, this year is slightly different. It's slightly more self-consciously me playing Mr Swallow and there is another character in there,

sort of. Oh, really? So it's not P.O. Swallow? Well, it is, but there's one little fire bit. I know we're having an interesting chat

about your show, but Ray's clipping his fingernails. Sorry. Some of it's flying onto your great muffin. Well, I'm having this muffin. I'm a bit of a muffin now.

Right, yeah, no, you're right, in fact. If Ray's clipping his fingernails, you have a bite of muffin and I'll just sit muffin. I'm a bit of a muffin now. Right yeah no you're right in fact if Ray's clipping his fingernails you have a bite of muffin and I'll just sit here. Yeah yeah. I'm not

I am interested but I'm just like I've got such a busy day I'm like I've got to cut my nails at some point. I cut my toenails today as well. I've got to cut mine as well.

Mine have cut mine quite long I noticed that. I always think it's good I've got into good luck if I cut my toenails. Oh well do that then. I've done them. Then what does that mean

you're out of luck then for that's it? For that muffin. I've done them then what does that mean you're out of luck then for that's it for that month I've signed it but I'm having it so that's Mr Swallow yeah so this is the second

full length show so this is the second essentially full length show of Mr Swallow still very irritating has Mr Swallow ever been interviewed imagine right

if you went out of that door over there now right and imagine if Mr Swallow came back I just don't know if you went out of that door over there now, right? And imagine if Mr Swallow came back like... I just don't know if I could do it. No, you don't have to do it, because you just sent Mr Swallow in. Nick, just go and get me my trousers from the other room. And if you happen to see Mr Swallow in the hall, please send him in, thank you. Oh, tell you what, I think it's going very well, isn't it?

I think it's good. I really like it. I'm enjoying interviewing him. Absolutely filing an A. Is this Mr Swallow? Absolutely filing an A, no way. very well, isn't it? I think it's good. I really like it. I'm enjoying entering your house. Absolutely boiling in here. Seriously? Who's this? It's Mr Swallow. Absolutely boiling in here. No way.

Not doing it like this. What's that and you've got the lights on? 5,999,906. Jesus Christ. Is anyone warm in here? Who's this? It's Mr Swallow.

Who's Luke warm? Who's Luke warm? Is anyone coming? Are you Mr Swallow? Absolutely boiling, yeah, of course I'm Mr Swallow. Nice to meet you. She used to be ill. My name's Ray Peacock, this is Ed Gamble.

Hello, Mr Swallow. How are you today? I'm alright. I'm boiling, it's about 27 degrees outside. You are warm. You're quite concerned about your body temperature, aren't you, Mr Swallow? Sometimes I wish we still lived in Narnia. And Aslan hadn't come back so you I mean

in a weird sort of right wing Daily Mail style thing you longed for the days when Narnia

was ruled by the witch yeah why is that what was up with Aslan oh too much mane

too much mane yeah too much in your mane mate have a drink of that

everyone that's Nick Muhammad's drink have a little drink of that everyone that's Nick Muhammad's drink have a little drink of that what's in this I think it's just orange juice

Swallow I'm allergic to that do you want a bit of muffin Mr Swallow or something no no

it's melting not surprised jeez it is warm isn't it so Mr Swallow it's quite a vague question but

what are you? My, I'm like, sort of, I do sort of lectures, workshops, scenarios. Yeah, yeah. Sort of travel around from place to place. Try and vary the subject matter depending on where I am. Yeah. Last week I disproved God. You disproved God?

Yeah, using maths. Right. And then bicarbonated, you know, fizzy pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a wasp. Eat it when you know how. Okay. So what are you doing?

So you're up in Edinburgh this year. Up in Edinburgh. I'm doing a show. It's going well. We're selling well. Still with the same promoter. Mr. Goldsworth. Mr. Goldsworth, yeah's right he's like my PA

he's my PR yeah okay all the P's private investigator nice one we don't do that not anymore he's not allowed to do that

but no and it's it's a bit of fun it's like a talk about well I don't really want to give away what it's about but it's exciting big finish at the end

confetti cannon come for that if anything confetti cannon. Come for that, if anything. Confetti cannon? Oh, yeah. Wow. That cost a fair bit. 26 shows. Jesus Christ.

And how much a show? How much? Yeah. To pay, to see it? No, for the confetti cannon. Oh. To be fair, Gold's handles all that. Oh, right.

I genuinely don't know. You know it's a lot. It's quite a lot of confetti, isn't it? But at least the cost of a ticket. Right, right. Yeah. So you need one in. I need at least one in to cover all my overheads.

Just before. I'm not getting paid, he's not getting paid. We've missed a way of the venue hire, which is unheard of in the courtyard. So it's literally... Six, and one of them will sort out a venue. Just the confetti cannon that you're paying for. It's just a confetti cannon.

There's no content on my part. I've wasted an ounce of energy on the show. I sort of sit in silence for an hour, try and cool down, let the confetti canner go off and then, you know, we're in business. So heat is a big issue today. I mean, it seems like... Oh, it's been nuts past week. It seems like an odd thing though to, I don't even know, traditionally that the Edinburgh

venues are very, very warm. They are. Were you aware of that before you came in? I was aware. We have rigged up fans everywhere in the venue. Does that not circulate warmer there? It circulates what we have to... We open a fridge.

Right, OK. And we stick the fridge in front of the biggest fan and it circulates whatever's coming out of that. So it's kind of a homemade air con unit, really. Yeah, fridge and switch dom. Oh, okay. And we stick the fridge in front of the biggest fan and it circulates whatever's coming out of that. So it's kind of a homemade air con unit, really. Yeah, fridge and switch dom. Oh, right, right. So sort of food smells. Just sort of food smells,

sort of just sort of, you know, get people in the mood for watching an hour show. What do you hope to get from the show? I don't really want anything out of this show, to be honest. I've just got to be here. Yeah? Oh, yeah. You weren't here last year, were you?

You were here the year before. No, I wasn't allowed to here last year, were you? You were here the year before. No, I wasn't allowed to come last year. What happened? We had a problem with... I got a volunteer out on stage. She fainted. Right. Hate.

Yeah, well, and we are not insured. Oh, right. That's how we found out. Because she... Yeah. And so we... It's taken a while, but we've built ourselves back up. We've got a confetti cannon. We've got the confetti cannons. There's no chance of them going off in people's feet. We've got arrows pointing where they should aim,

out of the twisting, all that. Is the lady in question all right now? Has she recovered? Is the lady in question alright now? Has she recovered? Oh, no, she died. Oh, right. Because she hit her head. And she was in a coma for a while. It was all touch and go. She lasted a year, then died.

And then it was like, good, now we can come back. Now we can come back. It's 2012. It's a new, you know, it's like the marine calendar, isn't it? It is, yeah. They predicted her death. Did you want to go to the Olympics though? Mae'n ymddiriedol iawn. Mae'n y calendar ymarferol, yn dda? Ie, yn bennaf. Roedden nhw'n disgwyl ei fath. Roeddech chi eisiau mynd i'r Olygfeydd? Roedd yna unrhyw... Roeddwn i wedi cymryd rhan i'r Olygfeydd.

I gyfweliad? Nid, ond roedd yn dweud, na fyddai. Roeddwn i'n dweud, pam na? Roeddent yn dweud, oherwydd nad ydych chi'n addysgol. Roedd yn anodd. Ond rwy'n gwybod, roeddwn i'n hapus i gael mynd allan o Lwmden. Ie. Ie. Ydy hynny yw'r lle rydych chi'n byw? But I know, I was quite, I was glad to get out of London to be honest. Yeah.

Yeah. Is that where you live? Do you live in London? I, well I live in Leeds but I work occasionally in London. Okay. That's where Mr. Gold's a space so I'm up there from time to time. Last time you were here you were doing a lecture on memory. No jokes in that bit were there?

But it adds texture. It adds texture. Oh yeah. No jokes. You were doing memory. I should have put it in later, this. Memory. Lecture on memory. That was last year, wasn't it?

Was it? Two years ago. Two years ago. Sorry. Last year the woman died. Yes, of course. So, yeah, 2010 there was a memory lecture. This year it's...

Don't want to give anything away. I don't want to give too much away. It's as exciting as memory. Yeah. If that brings them in. And it's big finish lots of stunts

part of the not physical stunts sort of like mental stunts in the same way that memory there was memory

stunts there's uh uh stunts in this yeah I can't say what that it's maths basically maths

so maths stunts yeah so where are you on that Mr Swallow I'm on at 6 o'clock in the Pleasant's Courtyard lovely every day

every day I don't have a day off you don't have a day off no way in this heat I can't afford to cannot afford to no

no way and I'm off to Sicily the very next day 12 hours after my last show Sicily it's going to be boiling 33 degrees absolutely boiling okay do you want to shall I do a quick maths stunt go on get your phone after my last show. Sicily? It's going to be boiling at 33 degrees. Absolutely boiling.

Okay. Shall I do a quick maths dump? Go on. Oh, yeah. Get your phone calculator out, please. Think of a number. Will this work for the listener at home as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want you to think of a number, Ed, between 1 and 300. Okay. And I want you to cube it, so multiply it by itself, and then by itself again. Okay. Okay? And I want you to cube it, so multiply it by itself, and then by itself again. Okay. Okay?

And I want you to tell me the result, and I'll cube boot it in my head and tell you what you started with. Wow. That's the idea. Wow. And this is what I've learned. This has taken ages. You're like a human calculator.

Well, I'm trying to be. It doesn't always work. Go for it, Ed. 23,639,903. Is that 287? Yes. It was. What the fuck? Is that true? Yeah. There It was. What the fuck?

Is that true? Yeah. There you go. I've just learned how to do it. I've just had some time. Yeah. Wow. Look at that.

That's very impressive. There we go. Right, I'm off. All right. See you later. Just a minute, Mr Swallow. Bye! Bye-bye, Mr Swallow.

Genuinely got out of the room. Oh, hello, mate. Hey, mate, mate. Is he all right? Bye! Bye bye Mr Swag! Genuinely got out of the room. Oh hello Nick. Is he alright? Yeah he was great. He seemed a bit warm. Oh really? Yeah. It's quite warm in here. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.

You love coming to the Fringe don't you? I do. As I always remember you're one of the people who I speak to who really looks forward to it. Yeah. Mental. Absolutely love it. You usually have your idea for the next year's show while you remember You're one of the people Who I speak to Who really looks forward to it Yeah Mental Absolutely love it You usually have your idea For the next year's show While you're at this one Usually yeah Although it was kind of

This year's been a different year It has yeah Definitely has 2012 2012 Completely different year This year's not the same Yeah

No you're right It's not the same as last year Because I had a year off last year Yeah Because I'd never Before then Not been to Edinburgh As a professional comedian so it was weird

to have a year off and then kind of come back because it made me think it was a good thing because it made me think oh I can have a year off and it's fine did it feel apparent

to you having a year off did it feel well the thing is because I was filming so I was working over the period anyway so that was a good distraction but yeah

it did feel different I mean I popped up for a couple of days after I'd seen your show I saw lots of stuff it was fine it was great I mean I mean, I popped up for a couple of days after I'd seen your show. I saw lots of stuff. It was fine. It was great. I mean, I definitely didn't miss, I suppose, any of that quite stressful period between January and July when you're sort of working on the show.

I certainly didn't miss that, but I remember going to a couple of mates' wedding who were getting married, and they're comedians. Did you just go to weddings? What? Have I been to weddings all the time? To be fair, that wedding was in 2005. Honestly, in the last ten years, I've been to one all the time? To be fair, that other wedding was in 2005. Honestly, in the last ten years, I've been to one wedding and it was shit. It was absolutely shit as a wedding. What I don't like about Nick is he has a lot of friends as well.

And I love weddings. I've got loads of friends which don't go to weddings. Do you? Honestly, if that last one, and you were there as well, if that wedding was anything to go by, I don't want to go to a wedding. It was shit. It was something to go by. It was shit. Problem is go by, I don't want to go, I don't want to go to a wedding, it was shit. It was something to go by. It was shit.

Problem is with weddings, I think I find this, and I think you probably found that as well, is that they're not about you on the day. Yeah, boring. But it should be. Boring. Well, most things should be.

Most things, I think most social events, it should be open, it should be up for grabs who the center of attention is. Yeah. So you should, you should be able to,

I should be able to walk in and night in the pub and think this is mine I can grab this but in a wedding you're starting off on a lower rung yeah

there's already there's already an headliner in place and then she starts to make a scene yeah well there's that as well but also you know

if I went at a wedding right and me and you Nick were there right I would expect people to be going is that Nick Muhammad who's wedding would that be

Gamble's wedding right yeah and going that's Nick Muhammad he's off. Gamble's wedding, right? Yeah. And going, that's Nick Muhammad. He's off telly. He's done loads of telly. Oh, that's exciting.

That is it. That's exciting. That is it. You would want that. You wouldn't want, oh, look what she's wearing. Oh, she doesn't look that fat, does she? That's all that happens at weddings.

Do you want more attention at weddings? I want attention at weddings. We went outside and practiced our jumping. There's some brilliant photos of us. That was at Raj's wedding. What did you wear? For Raj's wedding? Well, everyone had to wear full Indian dress. Really? No, not me. I wore as... Were you in a sari? I was in a... I was... We had bindis. Ed was in a burka. Yeah. He's got it wrong. We both had bindis, but we wore traditional suits,

but made it as sort of scruffy as possible. Oh, okay. So no tie. Right. Shirt open. I think I actually brought a tie with me, but I was banned from wearing that tie by Ray. Yeah, because I had brought a tie at all.

Were you performing in any capacity? Were you speeches or anything? Was there anything? No, we were... I can't imagine he would have actually... We were at the table in the corner. Yeah. Back table with all the non-important people.

Yeah. Really back table. No one asked us to do a set. We were there with... We were sat next to Ricardo, who works in some recruitment office or something. He was called Richard, but they all called him Ricardo.

Ricardo! Hey, Ricardo! And the cat went to us and went, hey, look, Ricardo, he's a paedophile. Hey! Ricardo's a paedophile. He fancies one of the young bridesmaids. Oh, he's a paedophile. Hey. Ricardo's a paedophile. He fancies one of the young bridesmaids. Oh, Ricardo's a paedophile.

So in the end, we just had our lamb and just left. I like Raji. Yeah, I know. I do like him. But that did upset me that day. I remember. I'm thinking about it now. I'm getting upset now.

Don't get upset. We're going to talk about when Nick did his show about space. Actually, I'm back in the room. Peacock and Gamble. Peacock and Gamble. That's one of my favourite Edinburgh shows ever Is it? Yeah your space show Oh that's nice to hear Why do you sound so surprised?

Because quite a few people have said that As in peers Well because I loved that show But if I'm honest It went for everyone Okay That's a good show mate It could maybe have gone into theatre

Is that fair? No I think it's a really funny show as well. But the plan is, is that in, I mean, it's ages away, but for the 50th anniversary, which will be 2019, I want to revive the Apollo thing.

The Apollo. The Apollo landing. I want to redo the show. Great. In a big, you know, we'll spend some money on stuff. Great. Because I adored it

and I still adore the subject matter. Yeah. Nick was playing different characters. It was as if the astronauts had kind of had a reunion for the 40th anniversary, and it was like, goodbye Buzz. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, okay.

This is a great thing about this, right? Yeah. Try and find that now. Try and find that on his face. Right, he's put a bit of muffin on his face. Ray, do you want to leave the room while me and Nick talk about a space show? Is that all right?

Yeah. But, yeah. Oh, I'm glad you got to it. Yeah, it was absolutely brilliant about a space show? Is that alright? Yeah. But yeah. Oh, I'm glad you got to. But yeah, it was good fun. It was really good fun. But that was the year you started doing something. You used to come up to me and get quite, you used to get quite annoyed. And I don't used to get annoyed.

Even if most of the room were kissing themselves laughing and loving it, if you spotted one face that wasn't enjoying it, not only would you be pissed off which is fine I get that we have that if you see someone enjoying it

you're like right really gotta make that person laugh it's annoying me you would stop the whole show everyone else is

enjoying it and point out the fact I believe the phrase you used once is look have you got some sort of

problem because you've got a face on you for the whole hour I think I did it in character well you did it

in the voice in the voice yeah yeah I think it was very clear that it was me speaking yeah I think I did it in character well you did it in the voice in the voice yeah yeah I think it was very clear that it was me speaking yeah

I think I still probably do that a bit I've done it in the Odd Swallow show this year not as aggressive

as that to be honest but I've always asked if people want to leave if they want to go but does that not interrupt your flow in the show?

I try to do it at a certain point but it's more because certainly I mean this year, because I don't ever bring the house lights down for all the Swallow shows at all, so everyone can just join in and stuff. It just means I can see everything that's going on.

If I can see someone who's got a bit of a face on, I don't know what I can, I always end up sort of just, I can't get it out of my mind, I end up sort of focusing on them quite a bit. And it's usually because I really want them to enjoy it, so I work really hard and aim some stuff at their direction. And if they're really not enjoying it, I just sort of think, oh and it's usually because I really want them to enjoy it so I work really hard and aim some stuff at their direction and if they're really not enjoying it

I just sort of think oh it's not worth it I'm not nearly in a strong enough position to be able to do that but the audience can't do anything

about that and the audience can't see that either only you can see that from the stage so the audience aren't aware of the scene

I don't know I don't have nothing to say in rooms like the upstairs just because it's in. Do you think I should stop it? I don't know, but I don't have nothing to say. In rooms like the upstairs, just because it's in the round, you can...

I mean, it's a double issue because we were chatting about this with my promoter as to whether we should keep the house lights up or

not because it is quite a weird thing to do to leave them up because I'm in character as people are coming in so it's sort of fit for the show but it's a

good thing because when people are laughing they can see other people laughing and that makes that, you know, that becomes contagious

but I think there's a similar thing that if people aren't having a good time other people can and that makes that, you know, that becomes contagious. But I think there's a similar thing that if people aren't having a good time, other people can see that and so it can be a little bit weird. But, um, huh, how did we get on with this? But, yeah,

I've tried to at least do it less or if I do do it, kind of, it's in extreme circumstances. And I'm always polite. You're a lovely polite boy. It's all coming from a good place. It's all coming from a good place.

Be cooking gamble, be cooking gamble. Quickfire questions, Nick Muhammad, you ready? Yeah. We're doing this with all our guests. Have some muffin if you want some muffin. I want some of this, could you get some? First of all, Nick, I need to check with you as well. Would you be prepared to stand out that window with your penis out?

No. No, that's another one who won't do it. Right, okay, tick. Tick, that one up. Nick Muhammad will not do that. Right, okay, you ready? Nick, can I just, quick tip for quickfire questions. Just before we start a quickfire question round, don't have a mouthful of muffins. Alright, ready?

Ready? Action. How many fish have you had in your life? Pets. Come on. Oh, two. How many times have you been in love? Twice.

Have you ever been hang gliding? No. Have you ever got a horse? Have I ever what? Have you got a horse? No. Have you ever got a horse? Quickfire question.

It shouldn't be quickly made up on the spot. Do you wear several different sorts of shoes or do you stick to one brand all the time? One brand all the time. Is it just one pair of shoes as well? Pretty much, yeah. How many ears have you got? In the shoe. How many ears have you got?

Ears, two. How do you know? I can see reflection in that frame there. How do you know that reflection is a true reflection? Statistically, I believe I've got two ears. Do you pick your nose? No. Do you have baths or showers? Statistically, I believe I've got two ears. Do you pick your nose? No. Do you have baths or showers?

Showers, mostly. Would you walk home from a pub? Yeah. Would you walk to a pub? Yeah. Would you have a drink drive? No. Why not?

Dangerous and against the law. Correct. Right. Have you ever been skiing? Yeah. On real snow? Oh, snowboarding, so not skiing. All right, but it's quick fire, so you've got to say yes or no. Have you ever been skiing? No. No real snow? Oh, snowboarding, so not skiing. All right, but it's quick fire, so you've got to say yes or no.

Have you ever been skiing? No. No. Would you go skiing? Yes. Why? Because I like the fact that it's exercise, but it's really fun. Have you got any baskets in your house?

Yeah. What's inside them? There's a load of toys in the flat that I... The toys are in the basket of the flat I'm staying in. Do you own any baskets? No. Would you own a basket? Yeah. Would you have any baskets? No Would you own a basket? Yeah

Would you have a hanging basket? Would you have a hanging basket with flowers in it? Oh I'd love that, yeah Would you prefer that to a garden? I'm happy, yeah I'd be happy with that Because less maintenance Are you scared of the risk of hand gliding?

No I'd love to do it You'd just still do it? Yeah Have you done a parachute jump? No Bungee jump? No

Free fall? Mm-mm Jumped off a rock? Yeah Into water? Yes, I've done that. Ever done a stunt into an airbag? Uh, yes.

What's the best make-up you've ever worn in a TV show? I think elf ears in The King is Dead. Why? Why? Did I wear them? Yeah. Uh, because I was playing an elf. It was a Christmas episode.

That's enough of that. You don't need any more details than that. Sorry. Right. Can you fly? I've flown before on strings once, but can't fly in real life. I always dream about it. How do you know you can't fly? If them strings were cut, but can't fly in real life. I always dream about it.

How do you know you can't fly? If them strings were cut, maybe you would have carried on flying. Oh, wow. How many poos do you do a day? Loads. About three or four. Why? I've got a really high metabolic rate. Every time I eat, I will poo.

Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease? No. Have you ever had any problems with your penis? No. Do you like your penis? Yeah. Is it ever had a sexually transmitted disease? No. Have you ever had any problems with your penis? No. Do you like your penis? Yeah. Is it your best part of your body? One of the best.

What's the other two? The other two, I think I've got quite good upper body strength now. I think my chest is quite good. And, oh, I've got really hard thighs. Right. Are you happy with Mr. Solo as a character? Yeah. Do you think it's the best thing you'll ever do?

Do you think it's the best thing you'll ever do? Yeah, maybe. Are you ambitious? Yeah. Fiercely? No, but I'm ambitious. What's the most... What does fiercely mean? I don't know. What's the most amount of money you've ever earned in the bank? I stopped recording. Quite a lot.

Is it, yeah? Yeah. I stopped recording this about 20 minutes ago. Do you own a house? No. Do you want to own a house? I suppose so, yeah. Would you like to buy a bottle of water that Tim Vine's drunk from?

How much? What's your price? I'd pay... We're bearing. Would you like to buy a bottle of water that Tim finds drunk from? How much? What's your price? I'd pay... Well, bearing in mind we know you've had a lot of money in the bank sometimes. I'm not going to pay much just because I want a pound. That concludes the quickfire

questions for Nimha. So, it's reached that point you may have noticed as the interview's drawn on, because we've got the window shut and the door shut It gets warm. it gets very warm Ray goes mental the guest goes mental I just sit here and just sweat

all my thoughts away so let's wrap it up yeah Nick thank you very much for coming in thank you guys best of luck with your run thank you

and your show's amazing and everyone should go and see it because it's super thank you but you're saying it I'm not saying it like that

do you mean that? Honestly, you know I mean that. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. There you go, that was it. Interviewing Nick Muhammad. Hey, come on, that's not enough interviews for one day. Let's have a very quick interview now with... You know, remember Sophie?

Yeah. Our stage manager, big tits, nice girl. Yeah. Well, let's have a very quick interview with her now. Yeah, there we go, yeah. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble extra podcast bit secret easter egg

secret easter egg at the end of a podcast whenever I stop listening yeah because people have been saying to us oh that Sophie you say

you know big tips lovely girl yeah that Sophie does she really exist in real life yeah and they're going

you don't know anyone with big knuckles you two we do definitely not sat here we do she sat here because she's at our house at the moment because last night Yep. And they're going, you don't know anyone with big knuckles. You two. We do. Definitely not. She sat here. We do. She sat here because she's at our house at the moment.

Because last night she was on drugs. Yeah. Smacked up to her eyeballs. She was taking drugs or something, weren't you, Sophie? Well, let's clarify. It was cocodamol. Cocaine. No.

Cocainamol. Cocainamol. Cocainamol. Yeah. For pain issues. Yeah. And you came in all drunk. Well, not drunk.

Stoned. Stoned. Mashed off your face. I was watching the rugby, right, last night. Yeah. And in fairness to Sophie, she was behaving very, very well. Yeah. She didn't say a thing.

But I was watching. Yeah, that's what happens when you're a junkie. Well, you say you didn't say a thing. You did say one thing where you just suddenly went I am blue did you say and I said what and she went I'm blue

like the song blue da da da oh no abadi abadi yeah and I said what and she said that song and I went what

and she went I'm blue abadi abada and I went right and I went you're not blue and you went I am and you showed me yeah she was blue

no from the drugs no from what was it from my jeans a jeans amendment right so you've got a girl you've got a girl in your room

I've got a girl in my room right got her jeans off you're still blue you're still blue on your hands and on your legs and have you have you checked your bosoms

no for blue maybe we should check on the podcast now. There might be a doctor listening. There might be a doctor listening to it now. Well, you say you weren't wearing jeans on your boobs, but you weren't wearing jeans on your hands either,

but they're blue. I touch my legs a lot. Right, well, I would imagine they touch your legs a lot. When you're sat, you're checking off the show. Yeah. Why are you doing that doing that imagine they're touching they've got to go somewhere haven't they

yeah they can't disappear can they not podcast extra Sophie gets a knock us out live get a knock us out

with Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble well the boiler's come back on yeah you can probably hear it ticking in the background

which means that was Sophie that time sadly has beaten us. Little bonus pair of Easter eggs there. Yeah, lovely pair of massive Easter eggs at the end there. Yeah. But nice girl.

Yeah. Thanks for joining us today. There'll be another podcast tomorrow. Yeah. God willing. Yeah, God willing. Yeah. God forgiving.

Yeah. Bambooka avoided. Bad book... Yeah, no bambookas tonight, mate. I can have one. No, why would you have one bambooka? I don't understand. I think it'd be a good habit to go to. Not before the show. You can have one. No, why would you have one bambuca? I don't understand. I think it'd be a

good habit to go Not before the show. You can have one bambuca if it's after the show. How about this? Halfway through

the show. Alright. Halfway through the show I'm allowed a bambuca. I don't think we've got time halfway through the show.

It's a very busy show. It is very busy. I struggle at the moment to have a little drink of water. Yeah.

That's why my voice is always wrong at the end of the show. It is always wrong, isn't it? We'll talk about that tomorrow.

We shall do, shall we? But there you go. Come and visit us come and see our show Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be

on telly anyway 9.40 at the Pleasant's Dome Dome and that's there for the entirety of the Edinburgh Fringe do keep promoting

the podcast you've not done recently we've noticed that people we had a discussion this morning didn't we

about how people get used to things if people get used to things then they start to it just becomes part of the furniture of their life

and they don't mention it as much yeah they don't bother and I found today that I had nothing but harassment messages on Twitter

yeah going where is it where is it where's this where's that no when are you one at this

place if you start doing that will you please come to Brighton please come to Brighton Edinburgh's too far

when are you going to come actually said when are you going to come to fucking Brighton yeah so you've Brighton Edinburgh's too far when are you going to come actually said when are you going to come to fucking Brighton yeah so you've clearly not bothered

looking at our website no so so tough tough tough can't come if you don't know when it is

exactly if you're going to all be like that and get used to it and just accept it right we might just like a baby with a buckle just take it away from you for a couple of days

yeah see what happens then then deal with that and then let's see if you remember your manners yeah so do promote it on Twitter on the Facebook on Bebo yeah from me for a couple of days. Yeah. See what happens then. Then deal with that. And then let's see if you remember your manners. Yeah. So do promote it on Twitter, on the Facebook,

on Bebo. Yeah. And just graffiti it in places. Graffiti it. Tattoo it. It's that sort of world now, isn't it?

Yeah. Get a spray can, graffiti it somewhere public. What sort of world are we living? Exactly. But anyway, here's Tim buying me the credits

but that was yesterday, wasn't it? Yeah. So I tell you what, let's let Nick Manwood do them for one day instead. Give him a go. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production hosted by Chortle.uk. That's the first time anyone's made a mistake at that bit.

The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production hosted by Chortle.co.uk. Today's guest was Nick Mohamed and my show is Nick Mohamed is Mr Swallow 2012. All music by Thomas Fun the Ray. See you tomorrow. That was pretty good. 6pm Pleasant's Courtyard. I'm I'm I'm I'm

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